KITTY SIBERIA
ByKittySiberia
Copyright2023
AllRightsReserved
ISBN:9798864107607
TheCharactersandeventsportrayedinthisbookarefictitious.Anysimilaritytorealpersons,livingordead,iscoincidentalandnotintendedbytheauthor. Nopartofthisbookmaybereproduced,orstoredinaretrievalsystem,ortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,electronic,mechanical,photocopying,recording,or otherwise,withoutexpresswrittenpermissionofthepublisher
For my Oma, because she would allow me to watch all the horror movies when I was little. For my Zombie Squad, thank you for your support! For all the awesome people who read Letty and the last Stiff’s!
This novelis a why choose reverse haremnovel, the female maincharacteris involvedinromantic relationships with moremen.
Thereareexplicitsexscenesbetweenoneormoremembersofthegroup. Thisisazombieapocalypsereverseharemromancenovel. Thereiseroticbiting,sharingofflesh,eroticcannibalism.. Thereareexplicitfightscenes,killing,zombiesfeeding,pain,bloodandsoon. Suicide,Memoryloss,Jealousmeninthegroup. Self-harmandAddiction,especiallyalcoholaddiction. Pleasebecareful,yourmentalhealthisimportant!
“Sweetdreamsaremadeofflesh”
Iran,screaming,tryingtoattractthehordetowardme.Witheachpassingsecond,Ifelttheirhungeranddesireforflesh growingasifitweremyown.ThecallofwarmbloodandbeatingheartswaslouderthantheillusionoflifeIoffered, nomatterhowloudIwas.
ThatisallIam--theillusionoflife,aghostoffleshtryingtoclawherwayoutofthegraveandjointheliving.
Tojoinmylivingmenfilledwithlife,warmblood,andbeatinghearts
Angel, Carlos, and Chris were strapped ona platform, eachtied to a woodenpole, surrounded bylivingdead the way witchesusedtobe,surroundedbyflames,drowninginthegrabbinghandsandraggedstumpsoffingers
Theystoodtherewithvacanteyes,waitingforthebite.
AndIamtooslow.Myfeetfeelasifthey’recaughtinsomethingthick,makingmovementdifficult.
Theendlesstideofbrokenbodiesispushingme,andItrytocallmyguysnames,butIcan’tarticulatethewords Itistoo late.Iknowitinmyowndeadheart.Ifitcould,myheartwouldshatter.
I can see the zombies pushing harder, those already fallen building a step ladder for the ones that come frombehind, reachingtowardmyguyswiththeirdirty,brokenfingernails.
“Noooo!”
I call out, but the word gets stuckinside mythroat. Still, the guys don’t see me. Afew of the zombies turntheir heads towardmeandstillignoreme.Notevenmyvoiceisstrongenoughtoattractthem.
SluggerisinmyrighthandandbashesinheadssofastIcan’tevenfeelthevibrationbackinmyarmafteritconnectswith oneskullafteranother.AllIknowisthatmyhairandfacearewetandcoveredinthesignsoftheundead.
Greydeadbrainssplashallaroundmelikeanespeciallydisgustingformofconfetti,makingmeslipasIsteponit Icandoit.
ItriedtofindRamonbutcouldn’tseeorsensehim Heisgone Void,darkness,hunger,andsadnesssurroundmefromall sides.
Iamweak,powerless.Myfeetshake,andmyarmsfeellikeovercookedspaghetti.
Fromthedistance,IwatchazombiefemaleclawherwaytoAngel Shemanagedtopullherselfuptotheplatformandsink heryellow,jaggedteethintotheneckofmysweetboy.Itallhappensinslowmotion,andallIcandoiswatchtheeventunfold. Bloodspraysoverherweddingdress,downtoherchestandhands Itisalmostasifthebloodiscoveringme Icantaste it--tangy,hot,andcoppery.
Angelisstilltryingtospeak.Hewantstotellmesomething.
“S’okay,Letty.”
Icanmakeoutthewordsashiseyeslosefocus.Heforgivesme,butIcannot.ItissuchanAngelthingtodo,toforgiveme eventhoughIfuckedupsobadly “Noooo!”
Afiercecallburnsinsideme,damagingthelastbitofsoulthatheldmycarcasstogether Slugger isnotfastenough.Ican’tsplitenoughskullstomakeadifferencebecausethemassoflivingdeadkeepscoming andcoming,drowningmewitheachstep.Theytrytopull medown,todrownmebeneaththeir stinkingbodies,makemego deafwiththewhitenoiseoftheirfeethittingthepavement,ofshoesthataredraggedontheblacktop,andofthesoundofdry throatscallingouttheirhunger.Eachtimeazombiefalls,twootherstakeitsplace.
“Noooo!”
Icalloutagain,myeyesgluedonthescenethatunfoldsinfrontofme,unabletolookawaybutalsoparalyzed.
ThezombiewomanisfeedingonAngel.Shehadalreadyrippedofftheskinandfleshfromhisneckandwasnowdigging herdisgustingclawsintohischest,pullingouthisstill-beatingheartjusttothrowittowardtheminglinghordelikearealbride wouldthrowabouquet
Thebloodandwarmfleshsendthezombiesintoafrenzy.Theyaremoreanimated,alive,ifthatistherightwordtouseto describe this horror spectacle ofdeath Eachzombie stretches toward the drops ofblood as ifa small drop would make a difference,givingthemwhattheymiss.Offeringthempeace.
CarlosandChrisarestillthere Theystaystill,vacant,asiftheydon’tseewhatishappeningtoAngel Theydon’tmove Aretheydruggedorjustinshock?
AsItrytocallouttothem,myvoicemeltsawayinthemournfulchoirofthelivingdead.Thesongofhungerisnotonlyall aroundme,gettingintome,touchingmycore
Whenacoldhandgrabsmine,myfirstinstinctistopullaway,tocutitoffthezombie,butitishim. “Ramon”
Itisimpossibletohidemyjoy.Ramonishere.Hewillhelpme.Foramoment,peacereturnstomytroubledmind.We’ll workasateam,andthatway,wewon’tbetoolate
“WecanstillsaveChrisandCarlos.”
Myvoicetrailsofflikeawailingmoan.ThenIrealizeIhavenomorefleshonmyleftlowerarm.Itisallgone,gnawed. Dryskinhangsoffmelikepiecesofrippednewspaper
Ramon’sskiniscrackedlikeparchment,andhismouthisopeninarictus.Hislipsmove,buthecan’ttalk.Heisjustavoid andashungryasIam Weconnectbyourdeepdesireforwarmflesh Alltherestisforgotten Ineedtogettothemen,thoseguys,thosewarm,softmountainsofflesh. Ican’tthinkaboutanythingbutmyhungerandhowmuchIneedtogetthere.
Pushingtheothersaway,Ikeepgoing.Ramoniswithme.Webothfeelthefeedingfrenzytakingover.Thebrideisbiting and chewingfromthe manwho blinks now and then, buthis eyes are turningmilkywhite, and Icanfeel his hunger. We are fasterandsmarterthantheothersandmakeourwaytothepreywaitingforus
Withalasteffort,Ramonhelpsmeuptotheplatform.Thetwomeatsacksarethere.Oneisawakeandtalking. Ifindmyselfclosetohim,closeenoughthatIfeelhisheartbeatandhisbreath Hisscentisweirdlyfamiliar,andhekeeps sayingsomethingIdon’tunderstand.Itislikethebuzzingofafly.Iwantitgone.Iwanthimtostoptalkingtome,andtostop now.
“Letty,please.”
IonlyhearthewordLetty.Thenameisslightlyfamiliar,butnotenoughtomakemestop.Thetruthis,Iamsohungry. Pushingmyselfuponmytoes,Ibiteintohislip Hiswarm,freshbloodspraysalloverme Ibiteagain,thistimetakinga bigbitefromhischest.Warmthspreadsoverme.Thehazethatcloudedmymindisgone.Iamback. BloodisgushingfromCarlos “Carlos,ohmyGod.I’msosorry.”
I’mabouttofixhisinjuries,buttherearetoomany.JustasIpushapieceofclothtohismouth,aravenous,wildRamon bitesintohisbrother’sneck Carloscannotspeak Histhroatfillsupwithhisownblood,makinghimchoke “Ramon,no.That’syourbrother!”
Inmydespair,ItrytopushRamonaway,butheisstronger,andmyleftarmbreaks Chris,whoisnowazombie,joinsineatingCarlos.
Tears ofbloodstreamfrommyeyes,andIfall backintothemass oflivingdead Theypushmeandgrabme Theblood coveringmechangesmyscent,andIfeelmyownbodybeingrippedapart. Itmakesmesadtodie,butlivingandknowingthatIcouldnotsavethemisworse. Somuchworse
ThescreamislodgedinmythroateachtimeIwakeupbecausethisdreamfeelslikeafuckingself-fulfillingprophecy.
Letty
“Xanaxdoesn’tworkonthedead”
The sound ofmymute screammakes me jump up and grasp for the baseball batstandingnextto mybed againstthe wall
“Huh,what?”
Afterafewseconds,everythingmovesintofocus.IamatBase7.Wearrivedheretwodaysago.
Aswetraveled,theguysandIdecideditwouldbebettertohideourrelationship.Okay,Idecideditwasprobablyforthe bestasweneededtofindoutwhotheinformerwasandwhofedSimmonstheinformationaboutAngelandthegroup.
Angel had notonlydiscovered a cure butwas probablyholdingimmense power inhis slender fingers After Ramongot bitten, Angel used the lastbitofserumonhim, and now Ramonis almostlike me. Notonlyhas he survived, buthe is fast, strong,andcanwalkinthemidstofazombiehordewithoutbeingnoticed TheonedifferenceIknow ofisthatRamonhasa pulseandaheartbeat,whereasIdon’t.Webothfeelthezombiesandunderstandthehungerthatplaguesthem.
Myoriginisblurry.IhavenorecollectionofwhathappenedbeforethatdaywhenIwokeupcoveredinbloodonthefloor ofahospitalbathroom.
Carlos,Ramon,andChristrusttheircommandingofficer,ColonelMcKenzie,butIdon’tknowhim,andtheyagreedtooffer themanatamerversionofwhathappened
WedidnotinformthecolonelthatweknewAngelwasbeingtargetedforkidnappingtocreateasuper-soldierserumand, incolonel,tocreateawater-downedversionofthemtoenslavethemasses Wehidthatfromhim
Itmadesenseifonethoughtaboutit.Ifpeopleneededanew boostofserumtobeinvisibletothezombies,thosepeople woulddoanythingtheirleaderwantedsincethepromiseofsafetyinthisfuckedupworldwouldbeeverything.Therewasa mole,someonewhohadaccesstoeverybitofinformationonBase ApersonwhoknewwhereandwhyCarlos,Ramon,and Chris had leftand knew themwell enoughto guess whatreturnroute theywould take. The guys were ambushed whenthey broughtAngelback,buttheywereluckybecauseRamonandIhadstoppedtotakecareofahorde
I did darkand unspeakable things to the menthat injured myguys, and I ate humanfleshagain. That memorymade me swallowinpain EachtimeIeatflesh,IrecallthatIamnothuman Theonlytimewheneatingfleshmademefeelmorealive andhumanthaneverwaswhenRamoncuthisarmtofeedme.Thatgestureofdeepconnectionhadmemeltinglikeasnowman inJuly.
Base7isnotthewayIimagined Inmyhead,Ihadthisideaofmilitarybunks,containers,andagrey,sterileenvironment Inreality,Ifoundmyselfgaspingaswegotcloser.
Base7wassuburbia
An entire area of self-sufficient Victorian-style houses that had solar panels for hot water and electric power, winter gardens,andsoldierspatrollingthestreets
AngelandIkeptlookingaround,wanderingthestreetswherechildrenplayedwithoutfear.WhenIleftNewYorkCity,my friendGretaaskedmetocheckoutthebasebecauseshewantedtomovehergrouphere.TheNewYorkgroupwascomposed offemalesonly,mostofthemyounggirls,andIrefusedtobringthemanywherewheretheywouldnotbesafe Thisplace,in someway,mademewanttobenormalandbewhatIpretendedtobe Angel’sscaredmedicalassistant,whohadlivedwith himinthehospitalforthelastsevenmonths
Talkingtotheguys,Ifoundoutthattheapocalypsehitaboutayearago,andtherewasnoclearcause.Oneday,aguyonthe wayto workstarted bitingpeople leftand rightinstead ofhonkinghis horn. Thatsimple, really. Iwas notsure whatIhad expected.Maybebecausemyguyshadaccesstothelastbitofmilitaryintelligence,Ihopedtheywouldknowmore.Thatfact
didlittletoshedanylightonwhatIam.
Base 7 was planned to be a self-sustainingunitevenbefore the end oftimes. The houses were notall beige and boring. Quitethecontrary,aswewalkeddownthestreets,wecouldseethedifferentcolorsandpersonaltoucheseachfamilyaddedto thehousetheylivedin.
Therewasenoughspacebecauseabigpartofthebasewasstillempty Iaskedtheguystobevaguewhentheytalkedabout Greta.AngelsharedmydistrustforMcKenzie,butCarlos,Ramon,andChrisbelievedhimtobeanupstandingmanwhowould holdhonoraboveallelse
Noonehadcarsonbase.Theyallwalkedorusedbikestotravel.Bushesandtreeswouldbeanightmareincasezombies brokethroughthedefensesandenteredthisplace.Irefusedtogotherementally.
Theareawassurroundedontwosidesbyawallmannedbysoldiers Ononeside,atrainblockedaccess Yes,thosemofos hadatrainderailedanduseditasawall.Theotherwasamobilewallmadeoftrucksandlargeshippingcontainers.
Chrisexplaineditall tomeasIkeptlookingaround,wondering Ihadsomanyunansweredquestions WasSimmonsthe guywhodealtwiththemenIkilledbackinthedayandwhotradedwomenforammunition?Ifso,Ihopedhewouldrotinhell forwhathedid ButasmuchasIhopedthatIhadputanendtothatpractice,therewasnowaytobesure Inthisnewworld, survivorshadnowaytocommunicate,andeveniftheydid,therewasnosayingifonehadthegoodguysorthebadonesatthe otherendoftheline.
IintendedtolaylowandplayAngel’sassistantaswellaspossible NooneknewmeorbelievedIwasimportantorhad muchstrength,andIlikeditthatway.Peoplemakemistakeswhentheyunderestimateme,andIdidnotplantobringmygirls andmycat,Yellow,tothisplaceiftheywerenotsafe
Whenweentered,aftertheobligatorybitecheck,colonelMcKenziehadChrisgoinforadebriefingbecauseCarloswas stillsufferingfromhisinjury.Chrisonlynodded.Ramonwalkedustothehousewewouldallshareforthemoment.Theguys quicklyjumpedinandsaidtheywouldhappilysharethehousewithmeifweagreed.
“Youokay,Letty?Doyouneedacupofteaorsomething?”
ImusthavescaredpoorAngelasIjustsatinbedwithapillowclosetomychest,myarmswrappedaroundit “Allgood.”
Angelpressedabutton,andthelightbesidethebedcametolife IalmosthissedlikeacatbecauseIpreferredthedarkness, eventhoughitwasoneofthosepretty,old-fashionedTiffanylampswithsmall,colorfulpiecesofshiningglass.
“Turnthatoff,wouldyou?”
Hemovedwithhorribleslownessandpushedthebuttonagain,allowingtheroomtosinkbackintodarkness.
“It’s4AM.Trytosleep.”Angelsaidgood-naturedlyasheputhisarmaroundme,tryingtopullmeintohiswarmbody. Thiswasthesecondnightwesharedthebed,anditstillfeltfuckingstrange “Ican’tsleep,I’llgodownstairs.”
AsIstood,Ipressedakissonhishead “Icangowithyou.”
“No,stay.Sleep.You’retired.Idon’tneedthatmuchsleep.”
Angelthrewmealook,butthedesireforafewmorehoursofrestwon WhyshouldIfaulthim?He’shuman,andlastweek wasmadness.
Still,itwasn'teasytobelievethatonlyoneweekpassed,andIhadalreadyallowedthosementocomeintomylife
“NoStarbucksfortheundead”
Darknessfeelssomuchbetternowthanitdidbefore.CarlosknewIwasafraidofthedarkasachild,butInevercameclean and told himthis fear was still withme, thatIalways believed other things were hiddenunder the veil ofthe impenetrable gloom.
Whenshewokeup,Icouldfeelher.TheconnectionbetweenLettyandmeistight.Shefeelslikeanotherpartofmyself.I wasawareofherwithouttryingtobeawareofwhatshedid
“Can’tsleep,baby?”Iwhisperedfrommyspotinthecornerofthekitchen.ThechaircreakedundermeasImovedtomy feet
SheknewIwasthere.Itwasthatunspokenbondbecomingstrongereachday.
AsLettywalkeddownthestairsintothekitchen,barefoot,wearingonlymyoldAC/DCt-shirt,myheartjumped Maybe myheartwasdowntotwentybeatsaminute,buteachtimeIsawthiswoman,Ifeltaliveagain.
Her wildmohawkwas down,her hair reachingher chin.Thepinkshonebrightlyinthedarkness,thesamewayher blue eyeshadthatcat-likequalitythatmadethemsparklejustforasecond
Ramon
“Iknew youwere there,” she whispered, a small smile tuggingatthe corners ofher cute mouth. Whywas the wayshe smiledjustformesospecial?
Iwasjustabouttogetupfromthechairwhenshejumpedonme,plantingherselfonmylap,herlegswrappedaroundmy midsection.Hernosetrailedonthecolumnofmyneck,makingmesuppressamoanandashudderofdelightthatwasaboutto getmeundone
“Allyours.Takewhatyouneed.”Iwhispered,leaningmyheadtotheside,allowingherfullaccess.NomatterwhatLetty needed,Iwaswillingtoofferittoher,evenifitwasmyfuckingexistence
Her handsmovedonmybarechest,slowly,her fingernailspressedintothefleshastheyrakedmychesthair.Letty’sass moved,andIbecameverymuchawareofhowclosewewereandhowmuchIdesiredherwitheachfiberofmyachingbody.
Shemovedherclosedmouthonmyneck,teasingme,makingmeevenharderbeforesheslidhertongueoutandmoveditup anddown,makingmemoanwithneed.
“Areyouplayingwithme?”Iwhispered,knowingwellwhatmyvoicedidtoher Thereactionofherhardnipplesandthe moisturethatcoatedherinsidewasobvious.
“AmInotallowedto?”sheanswered,purringlikeakittenasmyhandsmoveddownherbackandpulledherintoaviselikeembraceclosetomyslowlybeatingheart.
Shestoppedkissingmeandherblueeyesfixatedonmygaze.
“Ifeeltrapped Iknowthisishometoyou,butit’snotforme Itmakesmeitchy”
Kissingherdeeply,Iallowedmyselftotasteher,experiencehowsoftshewas,andhowshemoldedherbodyonme.
“Getsomepantsandajacketandmeetmeinfive”Istoodwithherwrappedaroundme Itwaseasytoforgethowstrong shewaswhenIbarelyregisteredherinmyarms.
“Uh,suchabig,strongman.”shecooedintothesmallofmyneck,makingmydamncockjumpupagain.
“You’re antsy, and I can help. But if you run half-naked all over the base, we will have ten guys declaring for you tomorrow.”
Lettygrabbedmyearlobeandbitdown,nothardenoughtoseverit,butenoughtodrawblood “Ihavemymenalready.”
“Let’smove,spidermonkey”
“Whataboutyou?Areyougoingtorunaroundhalf-naked?”
“No.Seeyouinfive.”Iputherdown,andwekissed.
Lettyleftwithanexaggeratedswagger toher hips,andIsmiled.Itwas still earlyenough,longbefore dawnona frozen November morning. The house was feelingarctic, butIdidn’tfeel the cold like Iused to. Istill registered it, butitdid not botherme
TheideaIhadmademesmile.
Lettyreturnedfiveminuteslaterwearingclothesfromthepackasoldierdroppedoff Thebasetookcareoftheirown She hadapairofblackpantsandablackjacketthatwasabittoolargeforher,butshestilllookedcute.
“Youlookbadass,”Isaidwithahalf-smile.
“Ilookdumbass Butitshoulddo”
Assheofferedmeherhand,Igaveherachocolate-flavoredproteinbar. “Mm,yougotthegoodsnacks”
Asshebitintoit,Iwhispered,“You’remyfavoritesnack.Nowlet’sgobeforemotherhenwakesandwegetintrouble.” Itwasforbiddentowalkonbaseaftercurfew Thatwastherule,andcurfewendedatsixinthemorning Itwasonly4:15 Thecoldnightwascrispandsurroundeduswithdarkness.There’ssomethingaboutadeepNovembernightthatcanbealmost overwhelmingtothesoul.HoldingLetty’shandmademefeeltenfeettall.SinceImether,IthinkIcanaccomplishanything,as ifIcouldbethatsuperherowhocansavetheworld onestepatatime Idon’tneedtosaveanyone IjustwanttomakeLetty smileabittoday.Seeinghersadorabsentkilledme.Thebasecouldbeourhome,aplaceforustobehappytogether.
“Wherearewegoing?”Lettyaskedas Itookadeepbreathofthecool,foggyair around us thatlooked like the ghostof everyonewhohaddiedsurroundedus.Isawherinthegloom.ThenewnightvisiontheparasitegavemedifferedfromhowI experiencedthenightbeforeasamerehuman
“Yousaidyouneedtomove,sowe’llbemoving.”
SinceIwasbitandAngelgavemethecure,orwhateverhegaveme,Ihadstartedtoseetheworldinanew way.There weremomentswhenIwantedtocomparenoteswithLettybutrecalledpainfullythatshehadnomemoryfrombefore Itwasall new to me. Ifeltlike a pup who hadtakenhis firststeps inthe world, and everythingwas fresh, wonderful,and filled with colors,flavors,andmeaningthathadbeenlostonmebefore
Lettystood next to me. She held her bodylike a compressed spring, readyto snap and turninto a deadlyweaponat a moment’snotice.
Thiswoman…fuck,evenher scentinthecoldair oftheearlymorningdrovemewild,makingmewanttotakeher right thereonthefrozensoil.MybodyreactedtohersinawayIhadneverexperiencedbefore.Lifewasneverintensebefore,even
thoughIwasn’tachoirboy.
Imade a “follow me” sign, and we slunkalongthe walls like ghosts as ifwe were partofthe darkness surroundingus. Here andthere,lightfromthe watchpostseemedlike small islands,accentuatingthe darkness thatswallowedthe base The streets hadminimal lights.Iknew where the half-frozenguards stood,tryingtokeepwarmandbringbacksome feelinginto theirtoesandfingers
Icould smell thatguythere, his scenthittingmytongue andgums.Fuckme, he makes me thinkofa juicysteak, raw and bloody Lettytalkedtomeaboutthis,aboutthewaythisnewhungerfeels It’slikeaknifethatcutsdeepintomeatacellular level,andnowandthen,Istillneedtoshakemyhead.Itwassometimesnotlikeasharpknife,butonethatwasold,rusty,and jaggedandneededmorerunsovermyfleshtomakeithurtevenmore.
My attention went back to the guard He did a few jumping jacks, trying to stay warm, not paying attention to his surroundingsbecause,usually,zombiesdonotsneakuponyou.
“Whyareyousmiling?”Lettywhisperedintomyear Icouldfeelhergiggleonmyskin “Thatusedtobeme.”
“Huh?”
“Thisispunishmentforusmilitaryguysfordisobedience.”
“Whatdidyoudo,badboy?”
She asked, and there itwas, thatpressure inmybelly, thatdesire to clamp her lower lip betweenmyteethand pull her closetomychest.Myslow-beatingheartskippedabeatwhenshesmiledatmelikethat.
“Iwasthereonce Thisjobwasfortheciviliansonbaseandwasonlyusedforpunishmentforactive-dutysoldiers Anight feelslikeafuckingeternitywhenyoustompfromonefoottotheother,andallyoucanthinkofisthatyourassisfreezing.No actiontakesplaceinthecoldnight,notevenafewteenagerssneakingaroundtoseetheirloversorsmoke.”
“Whyarethereguards?”
“Theywanttomakesurenozombiesgetontothebase.”
Shepushedherhairback Itwasn’tupinamohawkbutwashangingdowntoherchin,makingherlooksomuchsofter In thedark,herblueeyeslookedgrey,almostsilver,withsmallgoldflecks.
“Wannascarehim?”Iasked “Doyou?Idon’tknowhim.Canyousmellhisfear?”
Atfirst,Ididnot.ButnowthatLettytoldme,Iinhaledagain.Thewindblewhisscentintomyface,drowningme.Shewas right.Hewastired,horny,and,rightundereverything,wasafaint,sourscentoffearandpanic.
“Takemewhereyouwantto,”shesaid,grabbingmyhandagain.
Itwaseasytowalkfastandsilentontheedgesoftheislandsoflight Wereachedthebackwall,composedoftraincars andothertypesofcontainers.
“Needhelp?”
“Forwhat?”sheaskedassheleanedbackandlookeduptowardstheold,rusty,metallictraincart.
“Togetoverthat.”
Letty threw me a look and rolled her eyes back “Oh, please My strong, handsome man will help me, the small and helplessgirl,climboverthebig,badtraincart.”
Thecornerofmymouthtwitched Thefactthatsheisstrongandcapableofdealingwithalmosteverythingherselfdoesnot makemeloveherless.MymachosideshinesthroughnowandthenwhenIwanttotakecareofherandimpressher.
Ihadnoreply ThiswomanisapartofmeasIamapartofher Ismackedhersmallassandpressedmyhardbodyagainst herintothetraincardoor.
Letty
“Nothinglikeanearlywhatever”
Ramon’slargehandlandedonmyassandmademewanttodonaughtythingstohimrightthenandthere.ThingswithRamon areeasy Heunderstandsme,andIhim Wedonotneedmanywords Ramon’shandmoveddownbetweenmylegs,makingmypussytingle.
Iwinkedandsmiled “Eitheryoustop,oryoufuckmebecauseyouhavemedrippingdownthere” Ramonmoved closer to me, wrapped me fullyinto his body, and pressed me hard againstthe cool, metallic wall ofthe traincar Metalthingspushedintomyback,butIdidnotfuckingcaresolongasRamonpressedintomefromthefront “Can’tdo.Iwantmore,butIneedtotakeyousomewhere,okay?”
Ibittheinsideofmycheek.Therewasthatconnectionbetweenus,andIdesireRamonsobadlyitcloudsmymind.Heis theonlyonewhounderstandsmyneedandhungeronadeeplevelbecausehefeelsthesameasIdo Duringthelastfewdays
sincehewasbitten,webecamethefirstofawholenewspecies,andIcanbemyselfwithhim.
Hisfingerspressedagainstmywaistashepushedmeup.Ireachedastepandclimbedontopofthetraincar.Onesecond later,IlandedinthefrozengrassontheothersideofthefencethatkeptBase7safeandclosedofffromzombiesandtherestof humanity.
Werehumansnowworsethanzombies?
Istillrefusedtoallowmyformerexperiencetomakemebitter.Therearegoodpeopleoutthere.Gretaandhergirlsinthe New Yorkbunker are good people, the best And myguys Theyare rugged and rougharound the edges, but theyhave the sweetesthearts,anddeepdown,theyaregoodpeople.
Crouched low inthe grass, Iwaited for Ramonto land. Itwas surprisinghow his large bodylanded withoutmakingthe slightestsound Onlytheicethatcrustedthegrasscrunchedunderhisthickcombatboots
“Youmovelikeanelephant.”Myvoicewassoft,barelymakinganoise,butitwasloudenoughtoreachRamon’sears.
Hepinchedmyassasareplyandalmostmademeyelp
Hisfingersgrabbedmine,andtheyentwinedaswemadearuntowardthetrees.AssoonaswewereawayfromBase7, webreathedeasy
“Wherearewegoing?”
Ramonliftedhishand,bringingmyfingerstohislips.Hegentlykissedthetipofmyfingers.
“Runwithme,willyou?”
Before I could nod my agreement, Ramon sprinted away, and I followed. In the dark, we stopped under a tree and uncoveredabike
“Howthehelldidyougetthishere?”
“It’snottheNewYorkbike.It’smine.”
“Okay.”Iwasnotsurewhathewantedtodo,butfuckit,Iwasdownfortheride. Heunveiledadirtbike,andIlovedit.Myfirstreflexwastojumponit.
“Comeon,sexy,”Iordered “Areyoumakingmeridebitch?”
“Whynot?You’resuchasexyone”Iliftedmybrowsinaflirtygesture
Hemovedinbehindme,rubbinghislargebodyagainstmine.Hishandsmovedoverthebackofmyneck,thendowntomy shouldersandarms.Whoknewthathavingyourhandstouchedcouldfeelsodeeplyerotic?
Ramonleanedcloser,hisstubble-coveredfacetouchingmyear.“I’mtheonewhoknowswherewe’regoing,andjustfor therecord,Ican’twaittotakeyoufrombehind.”
Mynipplespressedagainstmyshirtinapainfulway,turningmyentirebodyintoonebigfuckinggoosebump “Youtalkthetalk,butcanyoufuckthefuck?”
Ramonlaughed,hislargechestproducingthemostbeautifulbaritonesound “Letme You’llloveit” Irolledmyeyes,jumpedoffthebike,andslidbehindhim.“Showme.”
Hepulledmyarmsaroundhim,andagain,Ifelthisslow heartbeatinginhischest,thedeepintimacythatcamefromour uniqueconnection
Ramonrodefastandhard,jumpingoverpilesofwoodandtakingshortcuts,andIwasthereforit.IfIwouldhavehada heartbeat,itwouldhavebeencrazy,butinstead,hisrecklessdrivingmademehotasfuck
Thenoiseofthewaterfallsurprisedme.Iwasn’texpectingthat.Thereitwas,atallwaterfallbreakingdown,callingtothe coldaroundit
Ramongotoffthe bike andstartedstripping.Icouldsee himinthe dimmoonlight.His strongmuscles rippledunder his tanned skin, and soft darkhair covered his chest. He pulled offhis jacket and shirt first, movingslowly, the cockybastard makingsurehegavemeadamnshow
Istillsatonthebikeandthrewhimalazylook.“Whatdoyouthinkyou’redoing?”
“Goingswimming Whataboutyou?”
Iwatchedhimpeeloffhispants.Hisperfect,hardcockjumpedoutoftheleatherpants.
“Youknowaboutshrinking,right?Ireadaboutitinabook”IsaidasIbitmylowerlip Thismanisdeliciousinallways “Comeon,ZombieQueen.Ifyoudon’tgetundressed,I’lltakeyouthewayyouare.” Ilaughed.“Thewateriscold.”
“Yeah,andwe’rethefuckingwalkingdead,sowhatcanhappen?”
“Ijustdriedmyhairandmadeitprettyformyfirstdayatwork.”
Ramonwalkedovertome,naked Myeyeswerelikeastarvingman’swholookedatafeast IwasnotsurewhatIwanted tolookatfirst.ThewayhisAdam’sapplebobbedupanddown,orthewayhisneckdippedintohisperfect,roundshoulder. Orhisdefinedpecsthatbeggedtobetouched,orthesofttraceofdarkhairthatledtohiscock.
So,Ididwhateverygirlwoulddo.Iswallowedandtookoffmydamnclothesslowly,makingashowofit.WhyshouldI betheonlyonedrooling?
Thecoldislikeafamiliarfriend.Ifeelit,butitdoesn’tbotherme,andIthinkit’sthesameforRamon.Coldispleasant.It ticklesmeonmynakedskin.
Thewaterfallroarsinfrontofus,andtheforestsurroundsus Idon’twait.
What’stheretowaitfor?
Witha scream, mybodyplunges into the cold water. Iflybrieflybefore the wet, cold, roaringwater embraces me. The waterfallfeedsintoalake,butIallowthewavestopullmeallthewaydown Openingmyeyes,IseeRamonfollowingmeinthecoldwet.
It’ssosilenthere,asifwearetheonlytwopeopleonEarth.
Maybewewillbeoneday
What if I don’t age? What if Ramondoes not age either, and we live forever? Will I want to turnthe others out of the selfishnessofmyownheartbecauseIcannotbeartolosethem?
Thatdreamisstillthere,rightunderneaththesurface,torturingme.
Ramongrabsmyhand Airbubblesleavehismouthashepullsmecloser Wearebothice-coldunderneaththesurfaceof thesilentlake.Hisfrozenlipsfindmine,andhishottonguemakesmyvisionexplodewithcolor.
Wecan’twaitlonger.
Wekiss Ourlegsmove,pushingustowardthelake'ssurface,fasterandfasterwitheachofhisheartbeats Oncewebreak through,Ramonlaysmeonaflatstone.Thecoldwaterclingstomybody,butIdonotmindthecaressofthefrozendroplets. Ramon kisses me, and his body presses against me I cannot think anymore My mind goes dark and numb, and all I experienceisthiswonderfulmantouchingme.
Hisfingerstracemylipsandmythroat,andhisbig,callousedpalmbrushesovermychest,downtomyabs,andbetween mylegs.Heteasesmyclitwithhisfingers.Afireburnsinsideme,moltenheatbornfromfreezingcold.
Ramonisnotgentlethistime.Hiskissgrowswildandpossessive.Hishandsmoveovermybody,hungrytocommiteach inchofmyskintohismemory Hekissesmewildly,likeastarvingman,andIreplywiththesameferalneed Ramonplungeshislarge,stiffcockinsideme,andIscreamout.Painfillsmyvisionforasecond.He’sbigandhard,and thewayheplungesintomemakesmefeelwantedandneeded,possessedinthebestway Mynailsfindpurchaseinhisback.
“Deeper,fuckmeharder.”Thewordsescapemylips.
Heobeysasifhiswholebodylivesforthemomentofmysatisfaction.
Thereitisagain,adeeperprimaryneedthatmakesmebiteintothespotwherehisneckjoinshisshoulder.Butthistime,I donotripathisflesh
Hisdickgetsevenharderinsideme,andhemoansashekeepsfuckingme.
Myjawsareclenched It’ssomethingoutofmycontrol,aneedolderanddeeperthantheearthitself Ramonmakesmesee shinyspotsontheedgesofmyvision.
“That’sagoodgirl.Comearoundmycock.”
Ramonmoansintomyear,andall thatholdsmeinthisplaneofexistenceisthetasteofhisbloodandthepromiseofhis hardflesh.
Iletloose Myorgasmexplodes,andmybodyconvulseshard Mymouthopens,freeinghim,andIlickthespotasthewoundknitsitselfback.
Ramonkissesme,andIrealizethatmymouthisfilledwithhisblood Wesharethekissandthebloodlikewewouldshare honey.
Heturnsmybodyandpushesmeontomyhandsandknees.Therockbitesintome,scratchingatmyskin,whichknitsitself backonlytogetrippedopenagain Mymoanisdeep.
“Sobeautiful”Ramonpusheshiscockintomypussyfrombehind Ican’ttakeitanymore.Ineedhimagain.Ineedhimtocomeinsideme. Ican’tbreathe,forgettingthatIdon’tneedto Ramonwrapshishandaroundmyneckandcoversmewithhislargebody.
“Tellmethatyouwantme,myZombieQueen.”
“Iwantyou”
Myvoice sounds foreignbecause he is pressinghard, and Ilove it. Feelinghimall around me makes me feel so damn alive It’sahighlikenoother
“Fuck,I’myours.Youknowthat?Iwoulddoanythingyouwantmeto.”
EventhoughIamonmyknees,andhishandiswrappedaroundmythroat,andIamathismercy,thewayRamonsays it makesmeshiver,andIcomeagain.
“Fuckme,takeme.”
Thisislikeamantra.Ramonissoclose,andheteasesmyentrancewithhislarge,swollenhead.Ican’tthinkofanything else.
“Iwantyour backdoor, Letty Do Igetit?” he whispers, nibblingatmyshoulder, buthe doesn’tbreakthe skin He just presseshisteethgently,asifIamsomethingpreciousandheisscaredhecouldhurtme.Mymindturnsintoapuddle.
Ramonpusheshisfingersintomymouth,andIlickthem Theytastelikehim,anditdrivesmewild
Ourmindstalk.Iwanthimtotakemehard.Weareanimals,sowecanfucklikethat.
Heuseshisfingerstoteasemyrim
First,hepushesbeyondtheresistanceasiftryingtoseewhatIwilldo.Assoonashisfingerisinme,mybackarches.I needmore.Ascreamthatholdsallmyneedsmakeshimreplacehisfingerwithhisdick.
“Icantakeit Fuckmebloody”
The words escape me,and Ishiver.He alreadyknows that. The level ofneed anddesire Ifeel for himmakes ithard to thinkaboutanythingelse
Ipossesshim,butIwanttogivehimapartofmethatnooneelsehadandnooneelsecouldevertouch.Weareone.Ramon groans as he pushes his thickhardness all the wayup mybackdoor The skinonmyknees and palms keeps peelingoffand regeneratingwitheachhotpush.
Hisreleaseisloud.
Mybodycontractsallaroundhim,and,fuck,IcumsohardIforgetabouteverythingelse Ramon’scumdripsbetweenmylegsasInestleonhischest.
Iinhaledthefreshair,stillheavywiththesmellofsex
“Thesuniscomingup.Todaywillbeabeautifulday.”
“Howcanyoutell?It’spitchblack.”
“Gowiththefuckingromanticmomenthere.”Ipinchhisnippleandticklehisside.
“IhopeIdidn’thurtyoutoobadly.”
“Youdid,butIwantedthat Iwanttogiveyoumypainbecauseyougavemeyourflesh” Ramon’schocolateeyesshineinthedark.ThismanbroughtmebackfromwhereIwassureIwouldgoferal.Hegavemea pieceofhisbiceps,eventhoughitgrewback Heofferedhiswarmfleshtome,anditwaswhatIneededtoregenerate
“YouknowthatIwoulddothatagainandagain,evenwithoutthebackdooraction.”Heraisedandwiggledhiseyebrows, thatRamonsmileonhisface.
Iproppedmyselfuponmyelbow,leanedintohim,andkissedhim.
Thisman,Iwouldgivemyeverythingforhim.Hewasmine.Sameasmyhandormybrainwasmine.
“Ihatetospoilthemoment,butweneedtogoback”
“Fuck,Iactuallyhaveajob.”Ijumpedbackintothewater,rinsingoffthedriedbloodandcumstuckonmebeforegetting dressed Ramonjoinedme
“Youneverhadone,right?”
“What,acockupmyass?No!”
“Ajob,silly”
Inodded.“NotthatIknowof.Imean,fuck,Iprobablydidhaveajob.Idon’tknow.It’sstillallblank.”Ipointedtoward myhead
“Ifsomeonecanhelpyouremember,it’llbeourlocalgenius,DrAngel.”
Irolledmyeyesanddippedunderthesurface,swamaround,andgrabbedRamon’sass Denialwassuchabeautifulstate tolivein.Plus,IreadandcanfabricateapastifIhaveto,right?
Welefttheice-coldlake.Theskystartedtotakeonthatshadeofgrey,theonethatappearsjustbeforethesunstretchesits fingersbetweentheclouds
Thebikewasstillthere.IletRamondrive.Hisbodyiswarmerthanmine,andIfoundthateventhoughIamnotcold,andI donotfeelcoldthewaynormalhumansdo,Ienjoybeingpressedagainstmyhard,hotmen
Carlos
“Painisjustanotherthing”
Mylegwasbetter,butnotgreat.Ihatedthatithurt,andIcouldnotdomuch,butitwasgettingbetter,andthiswasnot myfirstinjury Iwouldrecoversoonenough
BackatBaseinourhomegavemeawarm,fuzzyfeeling.HavingLettyundermyroofmademefeelproud,eventhoughwe agreedtokeepourpersonalrelationshipasecret.
She was officially Angel’s assistant, a woman we saved when we got him. That way, Letty hoped to gather more information.Thesoldierinmehatedtohideinformationfrommysuperiorofficer,butwehadtountilweknewwhothemole was WhoisthatlowlifewhowouldgiveawayconfidentialinformationandputtheBaseindanger?
Icouldnotimaginewhowoulddothat.Igrewupasoldier.Myfellowsoldierswerelikemybrothers,whoIlovedlikea familybyblood
Leaningonmycrutch,Ilimpeddowntothekitchen.Thestairswerewideenoughtoallow metosomehow findstability. Still,thiswasafuckingchallenge.
“Wait,letmehelpyou,”Angelcalledoutfrombehindme.Hepushedhimselfbetweenthewallandmyarm,leaningonitto givemebalance.
“I’mfine”
“You’renot,Carlos.Letmehelpyou.”
“I’mfine,doc”
“No,letmehelpyougetdown.Ifyoupullyourstitches,westartagain,andtherecoverytimewillbelonger.”
Reluctantly,Ileanedintothedoc.Helookedasifhecouldbarelylifthisboots.
Hepushedhimselfundermyarmandwrappedhisarmaroundmywaist
“Notouchy-feely,”Imutteredundermybreath,butheignoredme.
AsmuchasIhatedit,thehelpwasappreciated,especiallyattheturningpointofthestairs Angelheldmeup,andIhumped andharrumpheddowntothefirstfloor.Sweatybeadsformedonmyforehead.Iwhippedthemoff,halfexpectingthedoctosay something
“Didyoucleanyourwoundthismorning?”
“Yeah,doc.”
“Wantmetotakealook?”
“Noneedtotroubleyourself,doc.”
“Notrouble,Carlos”
The doc threw me thatlook.He hada certainexpressiononhis face thatIcouldn’texplain,like a puppythathopedyou wouldallowittolickyourfaceandjumpintobedwithyou
“Where’sLetty?”
“Shemustbedownstairs.Shecouldn’tsleepandsaidshe’dgodowntoread.”
“Letty?”Icalledout,missingheralready Shedecidedtosleepwiththedoc,andIwasjealous Again
Onewayoranother,Iwouldhavetogetagripofthatfeeling,butIhatedthatsheandthedochadathinggoing.Itbothered memorethanknowingshewaswithChrisorRamon
Inmymind,IhadtocometotermswiththefactIwillprobablysharealadywiththosetwo.Butthedocwasadifferent breed.Hewasnotasoldier.Hewasthisdamnpuppydog.
As Iharrumphed and humped to a chair and satdown, Ithrew a side glance atAngel. Fuck, Iwould feel bad to hithim
becauseofthedamnpuppydoglookonhisface.Hepushedhishairbackandsatnexttomeatthebreakfasttable.
“WhatcanIgetyou?”
BeforeIhadthechancetosaysomething,Chrisanswered “ImadeanomeletforGrumpy.Howdoyoulikeyoureggs?”
ThedocjumpedupandwalkedovertothestovewhereChriswasworking Chrisalwaysenjoyedcooking Icancook,and thefoodImakeisgood.DoIliketocook?No,butIcankeepmyselfalivewithmycooking.ButwithChris,it’satahigh-end level
“Youhaveeggpowder?”
“No,doc.Wehaverealeggs.TherearechickensonBase,andwegetashareoftheeggs.”
Thedocjumpedupandwalkedover toChris “Hmm,canIgetthemfried,sunnysideup,please?Onlyifit’spossible I haven’thadrealeggsinoverayearsinceallthisstarted.Iloveeggs.”
“Sure Sunnysideup,coming Whataboutbacon?”
“Nowyouareplayingwithmyfeelings.”
Theykepttalking Inoticedthelivingareawasempty
“Yo,Chris,where’sLettyandRamon?”
“NoonewasherewhenIcamedown.Maybehe’sshowingheraround.”
“Yeah,atsixinthemorning”
“Theydon’tsleepmuch,”saidAngel.“It’sasideeffectoftheparasite.Thebodyneedslesstimetoregenerate,andthey haveahigherenergylevelthanwehave MaybeIcouldsynthesizethat”
ThedocstartedtalkingtohimselfasChrisandIsharedafewglancesbackandforth.
IhavenothadachancetotalktoChrisaloneandinpeaceduringthelastfewdays,butIhadtomaketime.Therewastoo muchIhadtotalkthroughwithmybestfriend,includingthefactthatmybrotherwasn’tfullyhumananymore.
“What’sonyourplantoday?”
“Thecolonelwantstomeetthedocandhisassistant,andthenI’mgoingtotakehimtohislab,introducehimtopeople,and showhimaround.”
Chris placed anomelet infront of me, and mymouthwatered This was one of those days whenI did not realize how hungryIwasbeforethefoodlandedontheplate.Mystomachgrumbled,andIdugin.Chrisputafewhomemadebreadrollson thetable,andIrippedoneopenlikeastarvingman.
Thedoctorreturnedwithtwocupsofhot,steamycoffeeandsatbesideme.Chrisofferedhimaplate,andhewatchedthe eggswithsilentadmirationthatwasborderlineadoration.
“OhmyGod,they’rejustgorgeous!”Angelexclaimed “Man,youmakemefeelembarrassed.”
“Why?Didyoulaythem,bro?”IaskedChris Hesmackedmewithhiskitchentowel “Youattackaninjuredman? Whatdidthe apocalypse dotoyou,myformer honorable brother?” Iaskedwitha smirkas Chrisreturnedwithcoffeecreamerandsugar.
“Thisis wow IlivedonsweetenerandMREsforsolong,IwassureI’dnevergettotryrealfood” “Whydidn’tyoutrytoleavethehospital?”Chrisasked. Iclearedmythroatwhenthedoc’sexpressionchangedsuddenly “Iwasscared.Ihadtenmilitarymenwithme,whoallleftforasupplyrun.Theydidn’treturn.WhatchancedidIhaveto makeit?”
“Maybetheyranaway,butthat’snothonorable.”
“No,Idon’tthinkso.Theydidn’tmakeit.Itbreaksmyheart.Theyweregoodguys.”
The doc lookeddownandusedone side ofhis forktomake the eggyolkbleedover the white,thensprinkledsome salt overitanddippedapieceofwarmbreadintotheliquidsunshine.Hiseyesmetmine,andIsawpain.
“Iowe youguys mylife More thanthat, Iowe youmysanity Iwas determined to end it Igave myselftwo more days beforeyouarrived.”
Myhandcoveredhis,andIpulledawayassoonashiseyeshitmine Whatthehell? “Hey,doyouhavemore?Itsmellsdelicious.”
Lettyenteredthekitchen,followedbyRamon,whohadanalmostguiltylookalloverhisface.
“Babe, sure How do youtake your eggs?” Chris asked as Lettywalked toward himand kissed himonthe mouth The familiarfeelingofjealousyroseinsideme,anditwashardtoignore.Apartofmewasreadytoendeverymaninthiskitchen tomakesureshewasallmine
Afterkissinghim,Lettysaidshewouldtakethemandthatheshouldsurpriseher.
Ramongrabbed himselfa cup ofcoffee and leaned againstthe wall. Mybrother always loved junkfood, and Iwas not surprisedtoseehimunwrappingaPop-Tartfromhisstashanddroppingitintothetoaster.
“Wantsome?Ihavemore,”heaskedLetty.
EachtimeIwatchedthem,itwasasifthewordswerecamouflageforaspecialparticularandsecretlanguagethetwoof themspoke.
“Whatflavor?”
“Ihavecherryands’mores.That’sit.”
“No,thanks Ionlylikepeanutbutter I’lljusthavesomeeggsthen”
Chrissmiledather.Heturnedintoaneagerpuppy,sowillingtopleaseher.
ShewalkedoverandslidbetweenmeandAngel “SorryIleftthismorning Wewentforarun”
ShekissedAngel’scheekbeforesnatchingawayapieceofbreadcoveredinrunny,goldeneggyolk. “Mmmm,delicious.”
Sheturnedtome Assoonasthoseblue-greyeyeslookedintomine,IforgotmydamnnameandthatIwasupsetwithher “Iwasworried.”
Itookherfaceinmyhandandstrokedmythumbsoverhersoftcheeks Lettycouldlooklikesuchasweet,innocentangel whenshewantedto.IonlysawherwiththeMohawk,butnowthatherhairwasdown,shecalledtoeveryoneofmyprotective instincts
“I’mfine.”Sheleanedcloserandbitthetipofmynosebeforepullingbackfast.“Thezombiescan’tkillme,Carlos.” Ipulledherbackintomyarms.“Becareful.”
Sheexhaledtowardme,andIinhaledherfreshscent
“Webothwouldbeinlotsoftroubleifwedamagedthestitchesonyour wound,Carlos.”Shekissedmesoftlythistime, andmyfuckingworldmelted
Ineedtostartcallingthis the Lettyeffect.Whenher hands move intomyhair,andshe shares the same air withme,itis almostintoxicating. Her scentis more temptingthanthe bestwhiskeycould have ever beeninmyold life. There was some paincomingfromthewound,butIdidnotlietothedocwhenItoldhimthatitwashealingnicely.Itisjustunpleasanttohave.
“Whatwillyoudotoday?”sheasked,sittingonthedoc’slap,makingmeburnbecauseshecouldnotsitonmyfuckingleg. “Ihavetostayhomelikeaninvalidandreadabook,Iassume”
JustasIsippedcoffee,IcaughtRamon’seyesfromacrossthekitchen. “Poorbrohastostayaloneathomeandplayvideogames” “Yeah,andwhatareyougoingtodo?”
“Ihavetochecktheguardsandrotation.Remember?It’smyjob.”
Inodded.Ramonsomehowmanagedtogetintotrainingtheciviliansonthebase,ajobIdidnotenjoy.Havingnewbiesand teachingthemmilitarystuffwasneverfun,especiallyforpeoplewithzerophysicalstrength.
AknockatthedoormadeLettyslipfromAngel’slaptothechairnext
“I’llgetit.”Ramonslunghimselfdownfromthecounterandcoveredtheroomintwosteps. Icouldpickupthevoice Itwasquitefamiliar “Whowasit?”IaskedwhenRamoncamebackwithaconfusedlookandanoteinhishands.
“Changeofplans.ThatwasKeller.Andyou,mylady,haveasecuritydetail.”
Lettyraisedhereyebrows,lookingatRamonbeforesmackinghim Ramongavemethenote “What’shetalkingabout?”Chrisaskedashetookanewbatchoffresh,steamyrollsfromtheoven. Iopenedthemessage
“It’sfromthecolonel.ItsaysRamonandChriswillofferprotectiontothedoctorandhisassistant,makingsurethey’llget everythingtheyneedinthefacilityattheirdisposal Thecolonelwillseeyouguysonsiteinsteadofyougoingtohisoffice
Letty
“Domesticasfuck”
HangingoutwiththeguysinthekitchenandhavingbreakfastwastheclosestthingtoafamilyIhaveeverexperienced.
Sure,Iwasinsidethebunker,andnowandthenhungoutfordinnerorhadsomethingsweetwhensomeonehadabirthday. Butthishere,theteasingandthelaughs,allthatmademefeelasifIbelonged TheyknewwhatIwas.Fuck,Ramonfedmehisflesh.Theothersknew,andtheywerenotgrossedout.Quitethecontrary, theywerenice,sweet,andwarm,andIcouldnotwaittogettoknoweachofthembetter
Ifeltlike a lovesickteenager who wanted to know whattheir favorite color was and all that. Butlife atBase made me nervous Somethingbothered me, somethingI could not put myfinger oneachtime I looked out the window and saw how perfecteverythingwas.Tooperfect.Perfectmakesmewanttoblowshitup.
“Maybethecolonelwantstokeepaneyeonyouguysaswell,”Isaid.
“Whywouldhe?”Chrisaskedfromthestove
Itookabiteoftheomelet.“Whatif,anddon’tjumpatmythroat,whatifhe’sinvolved?Whatifhewantstobuildanarmy ofsupersoldiers?”
Thedreadwassetfreeinsidemybelly,anditstartedtoclawatmyinsides Carlosstaredintohiscoffeebeforeliftinghis moltenchocolateeyes tomeetmine.Ithathewouldhaverather hadmeplungeaknifeintohis chestthansaysomethingbad abouttheColonel Halfofmegotit Imean,fuck,Ireadbooksaboutthearmyandwar,andIwasawarethatsoldierslovetheir commandersmoreoftenthannot,butIhadtokeepmymindopentowhatevercouldbegoingoninhere.
Angelgrabbedmyhand Hewasanoutsider,likeme Hiswarmfingersmassagedtheinsideofmywrist Maybehewasthe onlyone I should share this type of idea with, but I could not just shut the fuckup. The guys are myfamily, and if I have somethingtosay,Iwill.Itookanothersipofthefragrantcoffee,allowingthewarmliquidtostrokemysoul.
“No way The colonel you’ll see He’s legit, Letty” Chris said the words with his deep voice His brows knitted togetherashelookedatallofus.Chrisisablockofaman,allmuscles,thetypeofheroeveryonewouldgotoinacrisis.
“I’veknownhimsincebefore Hecarriedoneofourinjuredguysonhisbackandwasshothimself Thisisthekindofman whowouldgohungrytomakesureeveryoneelsegetstoeat.He’ssomethingelse.”
“Iwon’tdefendmyself”
Chrissentmeawarmlook.“Letty,Iwasn’ttryingtoaccuseyou.It’sjustyoudon’tknowhim.Okay?Givehimachance.”
AsIshrugged,myeyestookinthisplace.Thiswasalltheirleadersdoing.IntheshorttimesinceI’vebeenhere,Ifound outthathescoutedthisplace,broughtallhismenandthecivilianstheycouldfind,andkeptthemsafe Everyonehadtolearn basicself-defenseandhowtohandleaweapon.
IglancedoveratRamon,whorepliedwithashrugashebitintothePopTarthedunkedinthecoffee Thetartdrippedwith themilkyliquid.ItwashiswayofsayinghebelievesChrisandthinksthecolonelisagoodguy.
“I’mcuriousifhebringsSmitherswithhimornot,”Carlosaddedfromhisspot.Thefacthewasonthesidelinebothered him.
“Smithers?”Iasked,usingonlythename.Iheardthatnamebefore,butitmeltedawaysomewhereinthestressofthelast fewdays,inthefearoflosingCarlos
“He’sthecolonel’spersonalassistant.Smithersknowseverythingthecoloneldoes.Ifthere’samole,it’sSmithers.”
“Ihatethatprick,”Chrisreplied
“Well,metoo,butcuzIhatehimdoesn’tmakehimabadguy,”saidRamon.
“Whydoyouhatehim?”MygazestuckonRamon.
“NoonelikesSmithers.Heis…oily,slick,slippery.However yousayit.Buthehasn’tdoneanything.Still,thatdoesn’t stopmostoftheguysonbasefromhatinghim.”
It was myturnto lookbetweenthe three men Angel stared into his coffee, fascinated bythe small drops ofgrease the creamerproducedonthesurface.
“I’mconfused”
“Youknow,he’soneofthosedeskjockeys.Heneversawrealaction,buthelikestothinkhe’sthisbadassRambo.” ThatwasChristalkingashewalkedtothetablewithaplatefilledwitheggsandbacon.
“Whatdoyoumean?”Iasked
“We all wear one side weapononbase. It is enoughwhenyouare offduty. One weaponrequired incase ofa zombie attack,butSmithers ”Chrisstoppedandpoppedapieceofcrispybaconintohismouth Istoleoneandchewedonit.
RamonpickedupwhereChrisstopped “Smitherscarriesafulldamnarsenalwhereverhegoes” “Maybehe’sscared.
Carlos touched myknee. Our eyes met. Ileaned into himand kissed his cheek. There is somethingabouta clean-shaven Carlosthatmademewanttotakeadayoffandspenditwithhiminbedplayingnurse
“You’llsee,mymoon.You’llsee.”
Whenheusedthepetnamehegaveme,myheartflipped Well,mydried,uselessheartthathungaroundmychestwithout anyrealreasonforexisting.
Mydried-outheartwasalive “Okay,I’llobserveasI’monlyanursetothegooddoctor.” Angelsmiled,andIgrabbedhishandunderthetable.
“Angel,youknowI’lldomoreharmthangoodandthatI’mtotallyuseless Right?Imean,IhavenoideawhatIamdoing” “Onceyouputthelabcoaton,youwillbefine.Ifindoubt,holdabeakerandlookinterestedandbusy.Onthefirstday,all wewillbedoingislookingaroundtheplacetoseeifithaswhatIneedandtakesamplesfromyouandRamon” Iswallowed.Theideaofanyone,evenAngel,takingsamplesfrommemademefeellikeadarnguineapig,andthatmade mewanttotakeajog,jumpthefence,andgetawayfromhere. Theyweresafenow.Theydon’tneedme,right?
Butthen,Inoticedthecasual,sweetlookChristhrewatme,orIfeltRamonlookingatme,andIjustmeltawayanddon’t
wanttobeawayfromthesemen,notevenforasecond.
“Iwon’thurtyou,”saidAngel.“Ipromise.AndI’ll storethesamplessonooneknowsthey’refromyou.Letty,Ineedto findoutifwhatIdidisworking”
“I’mokaywithmyPop-Tarts,doc.Idon’twantabigsteamyhelpingofbrains.”Ramonstretchesouthisarms,moaninglike someoldzombiefromablack-and-whitemovieIoncesaw
EachtimeIthinkofthose,Ifindthemhilarious.Whywerepeoplethinkingthatzombieswantbrains?Thatmakesnosense.
“No,butthereisachanceIcanmakeaproteinconcentrateforyoutwotohelpyouuseallyourabilitiesbetter Don’tyou wanttobefasterandstronger?”
Inodded.Sure,thatsoundedlikeaplan,butIaskedmyselfwhatIwoulddooncetheragerisesinsideme.Wherewill I findahordeofzombiestokill?
Instead,Ipolishedoffmyplateandlookedattheguysastheyateandchattedaway.Thiswastheirhome,andIwouldbe damnedifIdidnotatleasttrytomakearealefforttofindmyplacehere
Angel
“Iunderstoodtheassignment”
Base7isafascinatingplaceforme.Itremindsmeofmyupper-classchildhoodwhenmyparentstookmewiththemto seemyauntinwhatmymothercalledhercheaphouse
Thehousetheguyslivein,aVictorianrepro,iswhatmotherwouldcallawannabehouse.Thelawnisgreen,theroadsare freeofcars,andpeoplewalktowardstheirjobs.OratleastitiswhatChristoldus.
Lookstrailuswhenwewalkdownthestreet,eyesfilledwithwonder.Theyprobablydon’tseemanynewfaces,andLetty, well,sheisaneye-catchingsight.EvenIlookather.Shewearsblackboots,blackcargopants,ashirt,andablackjacket.Her pinkhairislikeaflame Shesaidshemissesherbat,andRamonpromisedheisgoingtogetheranewone
MenandwomenalikelookatLetty.Sheisnotverytall,butshehasawaytotakethespaceandmakeitburn.Sheislikea blackholethatattractseverythingandeveryone Menhaveahardtimehidingtheglancestheygiveher Lettyshowsapartof her,butthereissomethingabouther.Carlosputitbestwhenhesaidshehasacertainexpressionthatletsyouknowyoushould notmesswithher,thatshecouldbreakoffyourarmandbeatyouupwithit.
TheideaofseeingLettybreakingoffsomeone’sarmandbeatingthemupwithitmakesmechuckle.
Lettyleanedintome,andhereyesaskedmeaquestion.“Apennyforyourthoughts.”
“Youdon’twanttoknow”
“We’retheshinynewtoys.TheylookatusthewaytheywouldlookataTVstarorsomething.”
IamtemptedtoputmyarmaroundLetty Sheisnotthepromqueen Sheisbetter She’stherebelallboyswantandfear Shemakesmefeel possessive.Beforeher,mybiggestfear wasthatsomeonewouldnoticeme.Now,Iwantthemtoseeme, andIwantthemtoknowthatIamhersandthatsheismine.MaybeIhaveahiddencavemangenethatmakesmewanttoroar mypossessionsandmakesuretheyallstayawayfrommywoman Mywoman.
EachtimeIglanceatChrisorRamon,Ifeelthisconnection Theyaremine,too Fuck Testosteroneandadrenalineswell Ilookdeepintheeyesofagood-looking,tallmanwhoeyesLettyashewalksby.Myfingerslipstomyweapon,theone thatCarlosdiscussedwithmeaboutwearingthismorning HeinsistedIwearasidearm,andIkepttellinghimIdidnot Inthe end,Ibrokedownandacceptedit.IfhesaidIneededthegun,fuckit.
Peoplewalkhere.Howstrangeafterthezombieoutbreak.EventhoughIlivedabigpartofmylifeinNewYork,Ididnot walkaroundalot Iwasmainlyinmylaborathomeandwasnotoutveryoften
Theideaofhavingafull,functionallabmakesmypoorheartswelland,whenwestopinfrontofatwo-storygreybuilding, myheartstopsandmycockswellsasRamonswipesacardtoopenthedoor
Thethickglassdoorsopenwithawhoosh.
ThescentofacleanlabandCloroxisinsidemynose,andIinhaleit
“Where’smylab?”IaskRamon,wholooksasifheknowsthelayoftheland.Ramonistheembodimentofstudiedcasual cool.
Hepusheshislonghairback,andIwatchhisAdam’sapplebobupanddown Therewassomethingabouthimthatmade mykneesweak.Thesexyisstrongwithhim,andfuck,hewasatleastasgorgeousashisbrother.
Ramonopenedtheenvelopehereceivedandthrewmethekeycard Asitflewtowardme,Ifumbled,anditlandedonthe marblefloorwithaflop.
“This,doc,isallyours.”
Pickingupthecard,Ifoundmyselflookingaroundtheplace.
Thelightswenton.Coolneonlights.Icouldhearthespecifichum.
Afteropeningthefirstdoor,Istoodinfrontofascientist’sdream.Therewaseverything,fromrobotsandmachinestohighendcomputers,numeroussubstances,andeverythingelse
“Thisisallfullystacked.Letmeknowifyouneedsomething.”
Ramoncalled outto me, butIwas lost, runningfromone table to the next The lab could compete withthe one Ihad at HarvardUniversity,onlythisoneIdidnothavetoshare.Thisonewasallmine.
Ahugefridgewasfilledwithsamples
“Whodidthis?”
“There was a doctor,” said Chris. “But he was a surgeon. He died. He took samples of people. There’s a log on the computer”
“Howdidthathappen?”
“Hegotbittenwhenwewereoutonamission Heturned”
Chris’voicewasthick.Hiscleareyesdarkenedasherecalledendingamanheprobablyknewwell.
“So,boss,whatdoyouwantmetodo?”askedLetty
Ineverwantedtobeherboss,butinthissituation,Iwas,nomatterifIchosetoornot.Someonehadtotakethereins,and maybeshewouldrewardmelater.IwassolostinmymindthatLettyaskedmeagainwithasmileandawinkthistime,andit felllikeapromiseforsomethingIcravedbadly
“Well,ifwecouldfindsomelabcoats,thatwouldbegreat.Oneneedslabcoats.”
“Aye,aye”LettygrinnedandwalkedawaywithChrisbehindher No,no Iwillnotallowanothermantochristenmylab “Letty,wait?”IrantocatchupwithLettyandChris,leavingagrinningRamonbehind. Thetwoopenedthedoortoanondescriptspace,buttheywereinthere,andIstoodinthedoorway.
Chrisstoodbehindher.Hislargehandsliddownherbackandrestedthere,rightaboveherass,andshedidnotpullback. Myeyesshiftedoverthescenethatopenedinfrontofme.Itwasalmostfamiliar.TwopeopleIlikedhadfun,andIwasleftout again
JustasIwasabouttoleave,feelinglikeadiscardedsock,Lettyturnedtowardme.
“Hey,you,mynewBossyBoss Comebackhere”Shesatonthefloor,herhandpaddingthespacenexttoher “Ijusthada chatwithChris.”
JustasIwasabouttosaythatdidnotseemlikeaconversation,Lettypulledmeintoherbody.Shewasnotsoft.Herskin covered sharp bones and strong muscles. The scientist in me was worried the parasite was cannibalizing too much of her tissue.Mentalnotetoself,weighLetty.
Butthescientistmeltedwhenshewrappedherbodyaroundmineinapossessiveway,leaningherheadagainstmychest “Wenevergettotalk,soIaskedChrisabouthisoldlife.DidyouknowthatChrisisbi?”
Lettyaskedmewithasmirk IexpectedChristoeruptorsaysomething,buthedidnot Instead,hestoodthere,andIfelthis eyescheckingmeout.
“Andmaybethethreeofusneedtospendsometimetogether.”
Mystomachplunged IpulledawayfromLettyandlefttheroom,walkingfast,lookingforaplacetohide Thesmall,empty patientroomwasideal.Istumbledinsideandpushedmybackagainstthewall,gulpinginair.
Lettyfoundmefifteensecondslaterandtookmyhandsinhercold,littleones “Talktome,myheart.Isaw thewayyoulookatCarlos,andfromwhatyoutoldme,Iassumedyouwouldliketoplay.I didn’tmeantohurtyou,okay?”
Shesaidthewordswithsomuchwarmthandwithoutanycondescendingtonethatitmeltedme. Iwrappedherinmyarms.
“I’mgoodatass-kicking,butIneedyoutotellme”
Iwasnotevensurehowtosayit.Ilovedher,butIcouldnotreplacemyfascinationforCarloswithjustanyman.Itwas Carlosandher,theperfectduoforme
“Idon’twanttoupsetChris.”Myvoicewasbutawhisper.
“Chrisiscool Hewon’tgetupset ButIneedtoknowwhatyouwant”
“YouknowwhatIwant.Iwantyou.Iwanttoserveyouandtomakeyouhappy.Andyes,Ilikeguys,too,butIdon’tfeel Chrisyet.”
Ibitmylip Itwasahalflie Thefearofrejectioncloudedmymind “Who?Ramon?”
Mychestmuffled her question, and Iinhaled the coconutscentofher freshlywashed hair She was sweetnow, withher haircombeddownandnotinthewildmohawk,butImissedtheapocalypsegoddessIsawforthefirsttime. Herhandstraileddownonthesidesofmybody.Shepushedherselfawayfromme.
“Don’tmakemetieyoudownandtickletheinformationoutofyou,”shewhispered,halfjoking,halfserious. “Noone.”
AssoonasIsaidit,myfacewashot.Redhot.
“Carlos,right?Imean,Icanspeaktohim,butthat’llbeahardnut.”
“Canyoukissme,please?Ineedtoforgetforabit”
Lettypushedmedownonthebed,heldmyhandsovermyhead,andkissedme.Thewayshetookmymouthandbodywas nottender Itwasrough,asifshewasstarvingforme,andmybodywastheonlyonethatcouldsatisfyher Herhandstrailed downmychest,andshepushedmyshirtaway,leavingmethere,allowingtheairtomakemynippleshard.
Chrisclearedhisthroatfromthedoor
“Doyouguys,uh,mindifIwatch?”
Thesheerlustthatwaswrittenalloverhisfacewasdrivingmewild.
“Ithinkit’dbeveryhot ButAngelgetstodecide” “Doc,whatyousay?”
Chrisofferedmeahalfsmile,andsuddenly,IwasarousedattheideaofbeingwatchedasIservedmyGoddess “Yes.Butclosethedoor.”
Chrisdidandsatdownonachairinthecorner
Lettykissedme.IfeltChriswatchingus,eventhoughIdidnotseehim. “Youtastesogood,Angel.”
Sherubbedherbodyagainstmine,andIwasonfire Howwasthatpossible?ThisGoddesswaspullingmeoutofmyshell withouteventrying.Withher,Iwantedthings.
“YoumindifIkissChris,too?”sheaskedbetweenkisses” Inodded.ItwassurprisingthatIdidnotmind.
“Chris,joinus.Wouldyou?”
Thehot,silentmanwiththebuzzcutsatonLetty’sotherside.Hiseyeslookedatherandme.Insteadofbeinginsecurein mybody,Ifeltaburn,aneed.Iwantedtoshowoff.
Chris pulled Lettyinto a kiss I laythere, watchingthe dance of lips, tongues, and fingers Just as she moaned into his mouth,Isliddownfromthesmallbed.
LettywaswearingapairofarmypantsthatIgreedilyunbuttoned Chris'slargehandwasunderhershirt Thedanceofhis fingersunderthecottonoftheshirtasheplayedwithhernipplesmademehardashell.Still,Iforcedmyselfnottograbmy dickasIwatchedthem.
Theairarounduswasburning.
IfreedLettyfromherpantswiththehelpofherhandandfoundmyselfkneelinginfrontofher.Shewaswearingapairof simple,whitecottonpanties Hersoft,lightlockscoveredherclosedlowerlips,andIswallowedhard
LettylaidherheadonChris’chest.Hekeptkissingherneckandtouchingherbreasts,andshesnuckherhandintohispants. WasIcuriouswhathisdicklookedlike?Hell,yeah WasIthinkingaboutsuckinghimoff?Yeah,butIwasnotthereyet “HowcanIserveyou?”Iasked.
Shespreadherlegs.“Makemeshiver,Angel,inthatuniquewayonlyyoucan.”
She smiled, and I kissed the cotton surface of her moist panties, pacing myself, knowing what was waiting for me underneathit.Draggingmynoseslowlyoverherpussy,Iinhaled,allowingthescentofarousedsextomakemedizzy. Lettypulled outChris’cock, and Ihad to take a new look His large cockwas thickand justa bitcrocked, and Iasked myselfhowitwouldfeel.
IpushedmytonguepastherpantiesandintoLetty ShereleasedamoanandgrabbedChris'scockharder Theprecumwas glisteningonhistip.
“MakeLettycome,”Chriswhispered.“Iwanttotakeherrightafteryoumakehercome.”
Ipushedthepantiesaside,takinginthebeautythatofferedherselftome IwatchedLetty,herhalf-closedeyes,thelashes leaningontohercheeks,herheadpushingagainstChris’widechestcoveredwithsoft-lookinglighthair.
Thegulpmusthavebeenobvious
“Takecareofme,Angel.Ineedyou.”
Mynameonherlipsmademycockpushhardagainstmypants,almostpainful IwassohardandarousedIthrobbedwith needanddesire.
Lettypulled myhead betweenher legs, and all Icould thinkofwas the flavor ofpure sexoncrack. Her legs wrapped aroundmyneck Iwassoproudofherrelease Whenshefreedme,Ikneltbetweenherlegs TheknockonthedoormademeleancloserandcoverLetty.
“Hey”Ramon’svoicecamethrough,lacedwithasmileasfarasIcouldtell “Icansmellwhat’sgoingoninthere,butyou shouldputthatawayandstraightenupcuzIcanseethecoloneldownthestreet.”
Letty’sseriousfaceturnedintoaloudlaugh.Sheleanedintomeandkissedme,thenChris.
“Thanksfortheheadsup,Ramon.”
“Now,allheadsdown,andfast.”Ramonchippedinfromtheotherside.
Lettyhadanamusedexpression,thesameasChris.
“IneedtothinkofdishesbecauseifIlookatyoutwo,Idon’tcareifthecolonelishere.”
Ramonstillstoodouttherebecausehislaughwasloud “Iknowyouwanttokeepgoing,butyoushouldbecoming” Ramon’sloudstepsfilledthehallwaybeforeweallstartedtolaugh.
IhelpedLettygetdressed,andshebuttonedChris’sshirt
Ourbodieskeptcollidingandrubbingagainsteachotherinthe too-smallroom.AsIopenedthesmallcloset,Ifoundwhatwewerelookingfor--afew brand-new,sealedlabcoats.Ithrew oneonandpushedmymessed-uphairback
“Here,putitinamanbunbecauseyoulookfreshlyfucked.”Christurnedonthetapatthesmallsinkinthecorner,andwe splashedwateroverourfaces.
“Let’sdothis”Lettythrewmealookthatmademefeellikeagiantthatcouldtackleallissuesofthisworld
Letty
“I’mabadinfluence”
Wewerestillgigglingandstraighteningourclotheswhenwereachedthelobby.
Thecolonelstoodwithhisbacktous,talkingtoRamon Inmymind,Ihadthisimageofaskinny,olderguy,butI sawneitheroldnorskinny.Thismanwasatleastsixfeetthreeinchesinheightwithwideshouldersthatheldtheweightofthe base,anarrowwaist,andacuteass.Ifeltbadforlooking,butthatwasallIdid.Look.
Makingmyselfstepback,IremindedmyselfIwasheretoobserve.
“ColonelMcKenzie,pleaseallowmetointroduceDr.AngelPaulsen.”
Thecolonelturned,andthemoststrikingpairofintensegreeneyesmetmygaze Hetookonesteptowardmeandstretched hishandtome,notAngel.
“ColonelMcKenzie,atyourservice,ma’am”
Heheldmyhandinhis,and,fuckmylife,Iknewthiswasthetypeofmanpeoplewereinclinedtogiveauthority.Thiswas aleader.Evenintheapocalypse,his baldheadwas shavedtoperfection.Heworeasimplepair ofblackpants,armystyle, andat-shirtthatclungtohisbody.Buttherewassomethingmore.Hewashot.Hishandradiatedheatintomycoldone.
“Mister…sorry,ColonelMcKenzie.Nicemeetingyou.”
“Ididn’tcatchyourname,sorry Mymenwereablurryofactivitythelastfewdays”
“LettyJones.”IhavenoideawhyIsaidJones.Ineverconsideredthatalastnamewouldbeneededintheapocalypse. “Miss Jones, Ihope the menare makingyoufeel welcome here I’msure thatsoon, a bunchofmenare goingto stomp throughmydooranddeclareforyou.”
“Declare?”Imumbled,thenrealizedwhathemeant.Fuckingshit,I’mnogoodinthistypeofsituationbecauseI’venever inmywholedamnlifebeeninsocialsituations Ever So,IdidwhatIdidbestandsmiled,pullingmyhandoutofhis Hiseyes pinnedmedown,makingmefeellikeabutterflystillaliveandabouttobedissectedbyaVictorian-erakiddyingtopluckoff itswings
“Yes,”herepliedwithanauraIcouldnotclearlyread.“Wehaveasystemhere,butthemenwillexplainittoyou.Ifyou prefertomoveout,wehaveahousepreparedforsinglefemales You’remorethanwelcometostaythere” Ahalf-smiletuggedathishandsomeface.
IfIwas toguess,the colonel musthave beeninhis earlyfifties.Afew worrylines turnedhis slightlytannedface intoa landscapeofexperience Stillhandsome Whatthebackpromised,thefrontkept Therewasapauseasifthewordsfloatedintheairlikethickblackbugslookingforaproperplacetoland. Angel noticedhow uncomfortableIwasandsteppedin “Lettywill staywithme We’reusedtosharingahome I’mDr Paulsen,andI’mgladtobehere.”
Thecolonelreleasedmyhand,buthisgazestilllingeredonme Questionsappearedinhiseyesashetriedtoreadme A partofmewantedtocrackhisnoggin,eathisdamnbrainsliketheold-schoolzombies,andgetoverwithit. I stepped closer to the wall. I’mhere to observe, yet I felt naked without myweapons. The gunwas not what I would choose Theyaretoonoisyandneedammunition Mybaseballbatdoesnot Ontheothersideoftheroom,Ramonmovedlikeapredator.Somethinginhisposturescreamedapexpredator,notexcited abouthavinganotheralphasteppingintohishuntingground Ramonthrew mealookfromtheothersideoftheroom,andhis bodyangledinsuchawayitseemedasifhewasreadytojumpinfrontofmetoprotectme.
NeversinceIwokeuphaveIfelt,Idon’tknow,small,lacking,orasifIneededprotection.
Inoddedandblendedouttheconversation.
“I’msorryyouhadthatrun-inwiththebandits.Sadly,ourworldisnotwhatitusedtobe,andpeoplearemoreinclinedto giveintotheirlowerurges.”
Again,thewaythecolonelsaidlowerurgesmademewanttoknowwhathislowerurgesare
“There’llbeadinneratmyhousetonight,at2000sharp.Makesureyou’rethere.”Henodded,turned,andleft.Themoment thedoorsclosedbehindhim,Iexhaled
“Letty.”Ramonrantome.Hemovedfast,andIwasprobablytheonlyonewhopickeduphowhishiprotatedandhisarms shotoutforme
“I’mfine.”Iwasnot.Beingclosetohim,inhalinghim,feelinghischestclosetomyfacemademeexhale.
“I’mhere.Youdidfine.Heexpectedyoutobescaredafterourrun-inwiththebandits.”
“Let’ssitsomewhere,shallwe?”Chrisledustowardaspotthatlookedlikeabreakroom Afullystackedfridgesilently liveditsstainless-steelexistenceinacorner.Chrispulledthedooropen,theveinsonhisarmflexing.
Mymindwandered,thinkinghowhewouldtaste WouldIbeabletostomachthescreams,thepain,theblood,andthefear inhisfaceifIwentferalandtookabiteoutofhim?
“Letty,Letty?”
“Huh?”
Myeyeswereunfocused,tryingtotakeitallin.Kitchencountersstoodagainstonewall.Afrostedwindowallowedsome natural lightto enter the room Beige couches created a Ushape around a small table Amicrowave ovenand coffee maker stoodsilentonthekitchencounters.
“DoyouwantorangejuiceorCokeZero?”askedChris “Coke,please.IsthereNutella?”
Chrisleanedintothefridge.“Youdon’tkeepitinthefridge.Nutellaisbestkeptatroomtemp.”
ThebucketofNutellaIfoundatthehospitalwasagainonmymind.Whatif...? WhatifIhadturnedferal?
Whatif?
Chrisopenedafewcupboarddoors,andIsawallkindsoffood--cornflakes,marshmallowcream,whateverthatwas,and finally,Nutella Thecreameggshellshadeofthecupboardwasinperfectharmonywiththerestoftheroom “Gimme.”Igrabbedthejar,satonthecouch,andduginwithahugespoon.Notwithasmall,cutespoon.No,Iwanteda bigsoupspoon.MyneedforNutellawashuge.
“Letty?”
Angelsatnexttome.Hishandmovedslowlyonmyback.
“I’mfine So,whathaveImissed?”
“It’sweirdthathecamewithouthissecretary,Smithers,”addedChris.
“Yes,andthatheinvitedusalltodinner Carloswillhateit”
IcaughtRamon’seye.“Whydoeshehateit?Isn’theafanofthisguy?”
“Weneedtodeclareforyou,Letty.”Chrisdroppedthebombaswetalkedaboutthedinner.
“Huh,what,why?”
“Becausethecolonelwasright.Therewillbeabunchofmenwhoaregoingtodeclareforyounow.”
ItookabigspoonfulofwarmNutella Itwasattherighttemperaturewhenit’screamyenoughtomeltinmymouth “Becauseyou’reimportanttous.Tome.”
Christhrewmeahurtlook CouldItellhimIwasnotsureIwantedtostayhere?ThatIcouldnotstandbeinginsidethis place,havinganarmy-controlledplace?
“Fuck,Ineedtogoforawalk.Seeyouathome.”
Ijumpedoffthecouch,lefttheopenjarofNutella,andstormedoutoftheroom Mystepstookmethroughthebase,andI soonlandedinfrontofanopencourt.Yellingreachedme,buttheyweretooorganizedandrhythmictobefromarealfight.I walkedtowardthetreesand,ontheotherside,thecourtthatmaybewasonceabaseballfieldwasfilledwithpeople People.
Notmilitaryor strongmen,regular kindofpeople Older people,youngteens,womenofall sizes andshapes Awoman whoremindedmeofGretacalledoutorders,IassumeinJapanese,andtheymademovesthatshouldhelpthemlearnhow to fight.
Ipushedmyhairback Itannoyedmelikethat Ineedtoteaseitbackintoamohawk
The womanwas all muscles and tattoos, and she caught myeye. She barked anorder to the group, and theyall started runningaroundthefield
Sheturnedtowardme.Fuck.ThelastthingIneededwastochatwithsomewoman,soIturnedmybackandleft. Time passed. I don’t remember how longuntil the sunstarted to pull away, and the skybecame gloomy. It was a cold Novemberday,butitstilldidnotbotherme.
Thehousewelivedinstoodattheendofthestreet.Itwasapromiseofwarmth,food,andmenwholovedtofeelmytouch,
butapartofmewantedtopullback.Thiswasalltoomuch.
Insteadofwalkingtowardsthehouse,Iwalkedaway.
Somepeoplelookedatme Ididnotlookback
Thisplacemusthavesomesortoflibrary.
Acatraninfrontofme Istopped,andshelookedup Itwasafancycat,somesortofcatthatwouldhavebeenexpensive before.
Thiswasanotherbitofinformationthatpoppedintomymind,likeakernelofcornthatneededheattodevelopintowarm, salty,fattypopcorn.
AsIleanedtothecat,shejumpedintomyarms.Thepurringreachedmybones,almostmeltingme.
“Hey,honey Wheredidyoucomefrom?”
The catwas gorgeous,her pure white fur shinyand combed, her bigblue eyes staringinto mine. She purred and nestled herselfintomycoldarms
“Yeah,sweetie,ImissYellow.Buthopefully,I’llseehimsoon.”
Mystomachlurched
Atall,lankymancamerunningtowardme.Myfirstinstinctwastobrainhim,buthewasnotazombie,onlyuncoordinated. “Please,holdher.I’mcoming.”
Ilookedtotheleftandtheright Thisman’sarmswereflaringaroundhim,andhislonglegsdidnotlookliketheybelonged tohim.
“Please,miss Wait”
With the cat in my arms, I just stood there, scratching behind her ear. The cat was purring loudly, her body going soft againstme.
“Issheyours?”Thequestionwasstupid,butfuckit,mypeopleskillssuck.
“Yes.Peaches!”
Peachesbarelyopenedoneeyeandreleasedaboredmeow Ikeptstrokingherthickcoat,andsherelaxed Catslikeme HerpinkcollarhadPeachesembroideredinsilverletters.
“Hi”Hecouldbarelycatchhisbreathandleanedwithhisopenpalmsagainsthisupperthighs,hisfacered Fuck,thisman wouldnotsurviveinazombieenvironment.Myfirstimpulsewastoaskhowhemadeitthisfarduringtheapocalypse.
Hepulledanasthmainhalerfromhispocketandtookadeeppull,onehandupinsomeformofsalute.Couldthisgetmore cliche?
The manwas notugly,justlankyina weirdway.His arms,legs,andbodylookedas ifsomeone hadstretchedthembut forgottoaddmuscletothepackage
Peachesignoredthemanwhowasherownerandreturnedtosleepinginmyarms.
“Doyouneedhelp?”Iasked,realizinghowridiculousitwas HowtheheckcouldIhelphim? “Hi. No, thanks. I’m good. I just panicked. Peaches has this habit of escaping. Once she was gone for two days. We searchedtheentirebase.YoumustbeLetty,right?I’mJeffSanders.Ilivedownthere.I’dlovetoaskyouback…atleast,I mean,canIatleastofferyouacoffee,awelcometotheneighborhood?”
Jeffwassweatyandnotinanyshapetogetthecatbackhome.“I’llhelpyougetthecatback.”
Hewheezedafewtimesandtookafewmorehitsfromhisinhaler
“Thebluehouse?”IaskedJeff,whofinallystartedtocatchhisbreath.
Aswewalkedtothehouse,Inoticedithadthemostcharminggold,white,andbluedoor,likefromastory “ThislooksasifitgetsyoutoNarnia.”
“Oh,areyouareader?Irunthelocallibraryhereandamtryingtostartabookclub.We’remissingabunchofstuff,butI candoPDFfilesandcopiesontheXeroxmachine Helookedatmeholdingthecat,thengesturedinside.“Please.”
“Areyousure?”
“I’msureI’denjoyyourvisit.Yeah.Myhusbandshouldbehomefromworksoon.I’dloveforyoutomeethim.”
Jeff opened the door, and I stepped into Narnia The walls were painted, and the furniture was engraved It all looked magic.
“Feelfreetolookaround.”
“CanIholdher,ifyoudon’tmind?”
Jeffcaughtmylookwithawarmglance.
“Imissmycat,”Isaidshyly
“Iunderstand.Ilosteverything.Allthisisnew.Newhouse,newcat,newhusband.Ifeelasifwe’llbegreatfriends.You stillhaven’ttoldmewhatyouliketoread.”
Jeffmaneuveredmetowardasoft,deeproyal bluecouchwithasmall coffeetablebesideit.Thetablewaslow andhad wroughtironlegscarvedwithintricateflowers.Thetopofthetablewasablueandwhitemosaic.Anopenbooklaythere.
AsIsunkintothesoftcouch,withthematchingcatonmylap,Iexhaled.
“Doyoudrinktea,Letty?”
“Yes,sure”
“I’llbeback.”Jeffleft,leavingmealoneintheirlivingroom.
Afireplacewasonthewalltomyleft Itprobablywouldlookgreatwhenthefirewason Thewallswerecoveredwithart andbooks.
WithPeaches on mylap, I relaxed a bit Whydid I miss New York so much? The answer came as the cat turned and allowedmetoscratchherbelly.MybrownstoneinNewYorkwastheonlylifeIeverhad.Gita’shousehadbecomemine,the clothes,thebathroomwiththecosmetics,allofit.AndYellow,myhalf-straycatthatlovedmeetingmeatthelibrary. CouldItellthismanIusedtoenterandstayinsidetheNewYorklibraryaslongandasmuchasIliked?
“Ihopeyoulikethis.”Jeffputateacupinfrontofme.Aflowerbloomedinsidetheyellow liquid.Teawasnotmyusual drink,butthebatchofbakedgoodsinfrontofmewasanotherstory
“Digin.They’regood.Doyouhaveallergies,cuzthoseall havewalnuts?Andthosearepecan.Buttheblondiesandthe vanillacookiewithraisinsaresafe”
“Idon’thaveallergies.Wheredidyougetthem?”
“Well,whenIdon’tread,Ibake.Ilearneditaftertheapocalypse.Theyensurewegetbreadandcakefortheholidays,but ifyouwantsomethingelse,youmustbakeityourself”
Ibitdownonmylowerlip.
As Jeffsatinfrontofme,Istudiedhim His hair was longer,slightlycurlingover the edge ofhis cleanbrownshirt He woreglassesthatwerestylishaswellasfunctional.Overtheshirt,heworeaknittedvest.HisNanaeithermadeit,oritcame fromone ofthose high-end shops withhandmade stuffthatlooked as ifanold ladyknitted them. His browncorduroypants matchedthelook.Frecklescoveredhishigh,sharpcheekbones.Hisupperlipwasthin,buthislowerlipwasfull.
Jeffbitintoacookie.“Italkalot.Ihaven’tgivenyouanychancetosay,Idon’tknow,something.Thankyousomuchfor savingPeaches”
“Noproblem.Shepracticallyjumpedintomyarms.She’sasweetkitten.”
“WhereareyoufrominNewYork?”Heaskedandpaused “Again,I’mtalking Butyou,mylady,arethenewhottopicof thisplace.Weleadboringliveshere.OhmyGod,theywillallhatemewhenItellthemwehadtea.Listen,wouldyoucome overtothelibraryoneday?Ifyoulikereading,youcancheckitoutandmaybemeetafewoftheladies.Findoutwhatmenare free.”
Ashesaidmen,Ilookeddown,andIthinkIblushed.
“Aww,youlivewiththosebeefcakes Iamsojelly Don’ttellmyhusband He’shandsome,buttherearenotmanygaysleft, andtheguys--Carlos,Ramon,andChris--areafeastfortheeye.”
Thecatwastheperfectdistraction Myhandsweresteadyenoughformetoliftthecupofteatomylips “Iknowthatwewillbecomegreatfriendsbecausenooneelsecansitthatstillandlistentometalkcrap.”
Jefflaughed.Apartofmelikedhimeventhoughhetalkedalot.Hemademefeelatease.
“Jeff,nowthatwe’refriends,Ineedadvice”Ibitmylip,pushedmyhairback,andsmiled “I’vebeeninvitedtodinnerat thecolonel’shouse.WhatshouldIexpect?”
“Alone?Fuckme,didhedeclare?”Jeff’shandsshottohischest Hepushedthemover hissoft-looking,homemade-style vest.
Iplayedstupid “Declared?”
“Girl.” Jeffstretchedthe vestalongits lengthas iftryingtomake a point.“This place,Base 7,is a paradise for straight girls,especiallygorgeousstraightgirlslikeyou.I’vebeenherefromtheearlydays.Thecolonelcameupwithrulestoprotect the women The ratio ofwomento menis one to four, so he made a new rule Ifa guydigs a chick, he has to declare his intentions,notonlytoherbutalsotothecolonel.It’sallpaperwork,likeintheolddays.Ifthewomanaccepts,themangetsto courther Afteronemonth,it’shercall Shecanaskthemantoleaveherbeoraccepthiminherhousehold Someoftheladies haveuptosevenguysthey’reseeing.There’snotimetobebored.”
“Andtheguys?”
“Well,youknowmen,theyliketohaveabuddytohangoutwith.” “Andyou?”
“I’mapoorthingwithjustahusband,butIwouldtakeanyofyoursweethunksiftheywantedmeto” Isniffedtheteaandtookasmallsip.Ittastedslightlybitter,butthearomawasfresh.
Jeffleaned over the table “Here, add some sugar It’s better withhoney IwishIhad honey, butthat’s hard to get” Jeff inhaleddeeply.“Butthere’snohoney.ImustseeifIcanattractbees.Ifoundabook,butI’mallergictobees.Ifonestingsme, webothdie.”
Asnortedlaughmademeshake.“Sorry,itwasn’tfunny.”
Jeffbeamedatme.Hetookthecubeanddroppeditintomytea.Iwatchedthesugarmeltandswirlinsidethecup.Itwas
charmingtoseeeachofthesweetcrumblesturntonothing.
“Doyouthinkhe’lldeclare?”Iasked.
Jefftookoffhisglassesandstartedtocleanthem HecleanedthemthewayAngeldid Mydocmadenerdyandgeekylook steaminghot.ButJeffwasnice,anditwaspleasanttotalktosomeonewholookedasiftheyhadahardtimecrossingthestreet andwouldneversurvivetheapocalypse
“Ijustarrived. Ithinkhe has other questions. Questions aboutthe medical researchand work, and naturallyaboutNew York”
“Oh,sweetie,youarethehottestfacehere,andyouthinkhe’snotinterested?IfIwasstraight,myasswouldbeinfrontof yourdoorwithmydeclaration,flowers,cake,shoes….”
Jeffkeptcountingall thethings hebelievedIneeded Istartedtolaughagain Iwasn’tlaughingathim Hejustmademe feellight.
“ButIassumehehasawife Isawtheweddingring”
“Hewearstheringoutofrespect.Hiswifediedofcancerlongago.Heisasteamywidower,youmustadmit.” Animageofthecolonelflashedinfrontofmyface WhywasIsofuckingintimidatedbythatman?
“Girl,whatareyougoingtoweartonight?”
Withahandgesture,Ipointedatmyclothes.
“No,no,no”Jeffgrabbedmywristandpulledmeup “You’recold Areyoucold?Doyouneedasweater?” “I’mfine.Ihavebadcirculation.”
“Ihaveafewdresses Don’task Wecanmakeoneofthemfitwithafewstitches”Jeffpushedopenthedoortoacloset, andIwasbackinNewYork.
“Thosearealltoomuch.”
“Tatata.Shh.Noway.Adinneratthecolonel’shouseisthenewOscars.No,evenworse,thenewMetGala.” Ifoundmyselfabitconfused,eventhoughIknewwhatthosewere.
“Youcan’tjustshowupwearing,youknow,yourusualstuff Here”Jeffpulledacanaryyellowdressfromtherack “Oh,no,”Isaid.“I’llfightyoufirst.”
“You’reright Youaresoright Wherearemyeyes”Helookeddeeper,andwhatheofferedmenexthadmybreathcaught inmythroat.
Itwasadesignerdress.Theentiredresswascoveredinsequins,likeamermaid’stail.Thedressfadedfromdarkpinkto blue,silver,andblack.
“Trythison.”Jeffinsisted,andhedidnothavetoasktwice. It was short but hugged my body, making me look much more female I checked out myself in the mirror I looked glamorous,likeastar.
“Whataboutthehair?”Jeffasked “I’lltakecareofthat.”
Jefflookedaroundandofferedmealong,darkleathercoatthatmatchedthedress.”Sadly,Ionlyhavebootssizetwelve, andIdon’tthinkthey’llfityou” “I’llwearcombatboots.”
“Rockit,girl”Heapplauded,andmyheartswelled Iwassoeagertoseemymenandhavetheirjawsdrop.
Lookingatthetime,IhuggedJeff,thankedhimforthedress,andpromisedtostopbylater
