“O
ntheground!Getonthefuckinggroundnow!”
Atleastadozencops,theirfacessetgrim,rushedforward,theirdrawngunsglintingliketheeyesofpredators.ButI focusedononlyone him.Theburlycopwiththebroad,hulkingshoulders,whoshoutedordersinaboomingvoicethat thunderedandechoedacrosstheparkinglotofthewarehouse Fucker.
Hewastoolate Everythinghe’dcometothewarehousetofindwasgone They’donlycaughtupwithmebecauseI’dbeen double-checkingwehadn’tleftanyevidencebehind.I’djustgottenonmyHarleywhenthey’dpulleduponmelikevultures. OncetheyrecognizedwhoIwas,theirfearsimmeredinthecloyingsummerheat.Whyelsewouldadozenmendraw their serviceweaponsagainstonesuspect?
Iwasjustalonerider.
Withahellofareputation
“Youmakeanysuddenmoves,andI’llputabulletthroughyou!”Thecopinchargeroared,hisbegrudginglyhandsomeface twistedwithloathing “Onemove Justtryme,youfilthyscumbag” Hehadamouthonhim.Thiscop.
“Insteadofyellingordersatme,Officer,”Isaidwithasmirk.“Youcouldputthatmouthtogooduse.Onyourknees.” Thecop’snostrilsflaredlikeabullreadytocharge,hisattentionslippingashisgazedarteddownwardtomycrotch Color tingedhischeeks.I’dneverseenagrownmanblushlikethis.
Hesnappedhiseyesbackup Theywerearagingoceanofblue Iraisedaneyebrow Itwasn’tmyfaultadrenalinemademe hard.NorthathecouldseethroughmyjeanshowmuchIwaspacking.Toobaditwasn’tthesortofheathewasexpectingto findonme
I’dneverseenhimbefore,butgivenhiscommandingtoneandthewaytheothermenwaitedforhisinstructions,hewasan oldpro.Maybeatransferee.That’dexplainwhyhewasactingalltough.Hehadn’tbeenherelongenoughtounderstandhow hisjobworked Hedidn’tworkforthecity Heworkedforme AndifIhadaharddick,hegotdownonhiskneesandthanked meforthegift.
“Slowlyraiseyourhands,”hesaid Icomplied,althougheverythinginsidemebarkedtoignorehisrequesttoseewhathewoulddo.ButIcouldn’tendupdying. Notbefore killingthis cockymotherfucker.Iwouldenjoyopeninghimupwitha hacksaw andlisteningtohis screams as he watchedhisgutsderailfromhisbody. Sweet.
“Cuffhim”Henoddedataredheadedcopwhoapproachedmewithhandcuffsdanglingfromhisfinger “MindtellingmewhatIdid,Officer?”Idrawled.
“Forstarters ”
“Incase itwasn’tfuckingclear,” Isnapped atthe cop pullingmyarms behind myback. “Iwasn’ttalkingto you. Do you knowwhathappenstomenwhodon’tmindtheirownbusiness?Theydisappear.Poof.Oneminutethey’rehere.Anotherminute they’renot.”
Themangulped.“You’ren-n-notexactlysupposedtothreatenap-p-policeofficer.”
“Justmakingconversation”Ishrugged Thehandcuffswerecoldaroundmywrists,butthetremorinthecop’shandleftme satisfied.
“Lennon, don’t talkto him,” Cop-in-Charge said “Everyone knows he’s a manipulative sonofa bitch Just read himhis rights.”
“Youknowalotaboutme,”Icalledwhenheturnedhisbacktome.“WanttoeventhegamesoIcanidentifyyoulater?” Withmythreathangingintheair,hestalkedovertome,grabbedmebymyT-shirt,andshovedmebackupagainstthesquad
car.“DetectiveBenWitter.That’sB-E-NW-I-T-T-E-R.Giveityourbestshot.”
“Now ain’tthatcourteous ofyou, spellingitall outfor me like that. Nice to meetyou, Detective BenWitter.” Igrinned.
“WhyamIinhandcuffs?”
“Thebetterquestioniswhyhaven’tyoubeeninthembefore,butwe’llgetitrightthistime.”Hestalkedoff,yellingordersat hismen Threeofthemwereinchargeofwatchingmewhileheenteredthewarehousewiththerestofthesquadtosearchfor stolenitemsIwasallegedlykeepinginside.
The cop read me myMiranda rights Icrossed myankles and whistled softly For a place thatwas empty, theywere sure takingtheirtime.
“What’syourname?”Iaskedtheredhead. Heshuffledhisfeetbutdidn’tsayaword
“It’sactuallyrequiredbylawtoprovidethatinformation,youknow,soI’llaskagain.Whatisyourname?”
“OfficerNickLennon,”hesaidslowlyasifhedidn’twanttoansweratall
“Nick,how longhaveyouworkedwiththepolicedepartment?Youstill lookgreen.Youcan’tbesatisfiedwiththesalary theypayyou What’sthat?Lessthanthirtybucksanhour,right?”
“Don’tforgetyouhavetherighttoremainsilent,”Lennonsaidsoftly.
“I’mjusttryingtohelpyou,Officer.That’sameaslyamountfordealingwithscumbagslikeme,right?”
Thecopsfiledoutofthewarehouse Wittermarchedtowardus,hisexpressionhard “Thinkaboutit,Lennon,”Isaidloudenoughforhissuperiortohear.“You’llbeabletodoubleyourcurrentsalaryaslongas youworkforme”
“Bribingacop?”Witter stoppedinfrontofmewithhisfeetplantedslightlyapart.“Well,aren’tyouthecriminal whojust keepsongiving?”
“You’rewelcome.”Icockedmyheadtowardthewarehouse.“I’mguessingfromthescowlonyourfaceyoudidn’tfindwhat youwerelookingfor.”
Ignoringme,heinstructedtwocopstobringmebacktothestationandholdmeforquestioning Igrittedmyteeth.Hehadn’tfoundanythinginthewarehouse.Didhethinkhecouldtrumpupsomechargeagainstme? “Yougotnothingonme,Witter,”Isaid “Aren’tyougoingtolookstupidwhenyouhavetoreleaseme?” “Takehimaway.”
“Youtakerealnicecareofmyhog,Officer.Anythinghappenstoit,andyou’llbetheoneriddenlikeabike.”
Atleastthreehourshadpassed,andIwasstillinjailwithoutbeingchargedorevenquestionedbythePOScopwho’dinsisted onarrestingme.They’ddeniedmemyrighttoaphonecalltoo.Twicethey’dinformedmesomeonewouldbewithmeshortly formetocallmylawyer,butthatpersonnevershowedup.
Theyleftmeinasmall,windowlessroomwithonlyadeskandthreechairsthatwerehardontheass After sittingfor so long,myasswaspracticallynumb,butIdidn’tgetuporpacearound.They’dlovethatforsure.
ThatOfficer Witter either had balls the size ofwatermelons, or he was plaincrazy Did he thinkhe could getawaywith fuckingtreatingmethisway?
Thedoorcreakedopen,andaprettybrunettewithnicecansentered.Sheclosedthedoorbehindher. Finally.
Irocked backinthe chair and crossed myarms. At least they’d removed the handcuffs whentheydumped me inside the room
“Ican’tstaylong,” Officer Willow James said, her words stringingtogether breathlessly. She came up to me and ranher fingersthroughmyhair “Areyouokay?”
“I’llbewhenyougetmeoutofhere.”
“IfIintervene,they’llknowIworkforyou.”Sheglancedatthedoor,thenploppedherassdowninmylap.“Let’swaitthem out Theycan’tkeepyouinhereforever IheardOfficerDehaneyarguingwithhispartnerthatsincetheK-9unitfoundnothing onyou,hehastoletyougo.”
“OfficerDehaney’spartner?”
“Thepoliceofficerwhotoldthemtobringyouin.OfficerWitter.”
Well,fuckme Masonwasn’tgoingtobetoohappythatIwouldputatargetonhispartner’sback
“You’reright,”Isaid.“Youshouldgo,sweetcheeks,beforetheyfindyouhere.Istillneedyouasmyinsidewoman.” Shepoutedbutrosetoherfeet.“I’llseeyoutonight?I’vemissedyou.”
“Now’snotthetime,Willow Gonow”
“Fine.Youknow how tofindmelater.”Shetookacoupleofsteps towardthedoor andhaltedwhentheknobturned.The door opened, and a large man with broad shoulders and brown hair stood in the doorway My throat constricted, and my breathingturnedshallow.EverytimeIsawhim,Idrankinthesightofhimlikehewasacoldpitcherofbeer.NeitherIcould livewithout
“OfficerJames,what’syourpurposehere?”Masonsnapped.
“I-I ”
Igroaned Shewasluckyshewassodamncuteandeagertopleaseinthesack
“That’sthethirdofficeryou’veallsenttoinformmesomeonewilltakemetomakemyphonecall,OfficerDehaney.Whyam Istillwaiting?”
Masonfrowned.“There’snoneedforaphonecall.Leaveusalone.” “Yes,sir.”
Headbowed,Willowdartedoutoftheroom.Masonquietlyclosedthedoorbehindher,tookthechairacrossfrommeand linkedhisfingersonthewoodensurfaceofthedesk.
“Whateveryouhavegoingonwiththatofficerendsnow,”Masonsaid Justlikethat,theinfatuationI’dfeltfor thismanturnedtoresentment.Wewereonoppositesidesofthelaw now.CouldI everforgivehimforleaving?Forchoosingthislifeoverwhatwecouldhavehad? Ifhecouldjustadmitheregrettedit.ButIknewMasonDehaneybetterthananyone.Hewouldneverapologize.
“It’sbeenyears,Mason.Don’ttellmeyou’restilljealousofsomeoneelseridingmydick.”
Heinhaledsharply,andhisnostrilsflared.“That’snotwhatthisisabout.She’sabrilliantyoungofficerwhosefutureyou’ll ruinifyoukeepthisup.YouandIbothknowdamnwellyoudon’tcareabouther.”
“Howcanyoubesosure?”
“Because.”Buthedidn’tsayit.
“BecauseI’mstillhungupoveryou?”
Masonheldmygaze,andwestaredintoeachother’ssouls.ThelonginginsidemeI’dtriedtokeepdormantslowlybubbled tothesurface.Itremindedmeofouryouth,ofourstolenmomentstogether.Ofthewayhewouldtrailhisfingersovermyabs andpromisemethingshewouldneverfulfill Fuckhim.
“AmIfreetogoorwhat?”Iasked “Yes.”Heclimbedtohisfeet.“But…stayoutoftrouble.”
“Thisisdisappointing”Istoodaswell “Where’syourpartner,OfficerWitter,tosendmeoff?Hewassoarrogantbefore I can’twaittoseehisfaceagain.”
Masonfroze.“What’sthatsupposedtomean?”
“Heinterferedwithmybusiness Youknowhowweroll,Mason Gottatakehimout” Intwostrides,Masonwas onme,grabbingmycutinbothhands.Iblinked.I’dexpectedhimtoprotest.He knew the cop afterall,buthimcrossingthelinetotouchmewasoverthetopforamanwhowasusuallysoreserved “Listentome,Gunner.Youwon’ttouchhim.”
“No?”Icockedmyheadtotheside “Who’sgoingtostopme?You’veturnedablindeyebefore,haven’tyou?” Hetightenedhisgriponmycut.“Ben’soff-limits.”
Myheartsqueezedpainfully.Whatthefuck?It’dbeenyears.Istilldidn’texpectwewouldwinduptogetheraftereverything thathadgonedownbetweenus
“Whatmakeshimoff-limits?”
Masonswallowed As ifrealizinghe’d givenme more informationthanhe’d planned, he released me and stepped back “He’sagoodcop.Weneedmorelikehimontheforce.Andhe’smypartner.Ican’tlooktheotherwaywhileyoucasuallytalk aboutendinghislife.”
“Isthatall?”
“Whatelsecouldtherebe?”
IstudiedMason,buthismaskwasbackon,thatimpenetrablestareofhisthatgavenothingaway. “We’llsee.”
“Gunner Iknowyoudon’towemeshit,butleavehimalone I’mserious” Ihookedmythumbsintotheloopsofmyjeans.“Havedrinkswithmelatertonight,andIjustmightletitgo.”
Theinvitation/threathungbetweenus JusthowimportantwasthisBentohim?
“Iwon’thavedrinkswithyoutosaveBen’slife,”hesaid.“ButI’llhavedrinkswithyouifyou’reaskingmeout.”
Afteralltheseyears,wasitthateasy?Whattricksdidhehaveuphissleeve?
“Yourememberwhatdrinksmeant,right?”Ibitmybottomlipasimagesflashedthroughmyheadofalcohol-infusedbreaths mingling,sippingliquorfromeachother’stongueswhilewefuckedthroughthenight.
Fromhisflushedcheeks,Iwasn’ttheonlyoneonmemorylane
“Ithastobeoutoftown,”Masonsaid.“Somewherenoonewillrecognizeme.” “Icandothat”
Holyfuck.ForMason,Iwouldgothroughhellandback.
TThe way Ben looks at me sometimes, I swear he knows But then he smiles, and I forget all my guilt hescentofantiseptictickledmynostrilsasIstaredatthemanlyingmotionlessonthehospitalbed,hisfaceamazeoftubes andwires
Totheworld,hewasdead,butforme,hewasn’tallowedtobe.
The doctors and nurses assigned to himhad beeninstructed to do whatever it tookto preserve his life He was the only directlinkIhadtothebabyfarmcaseI’dbeenworkingforoverayear.Alltheotherswe’dhadinoursightswerenowdead orMIA.Hewasthesolesurvivor barely.Withouthim,Imayneverfindoutwhowerethemastermindsbehindthedisgusting business
Beeps and whirs fromthe surrounding machines punctuated the silence in the room. For his safety, the patient was in a secludedwingwithonlyahandfulofstaffknowingwhohewasandwhyhewassocloselyguarded Hadhebeenawake,we wouldhavehandcuffedhimtothebed,butafewweekshadpassed,andheremainedunconscious.Theoutlookwasbleak,butI washopeful I’dworkedtoohardtocrackthiscasetowindupnowhere
Outofdesperation,Imighthaveevendonesomethingoutofcharacter.Workingalongsidethatlawlessbastard,Gunner.He knewthemembersofhisclubandtheirmovementsbetterthanme,though,sofornow,workingwithhimwasbeneficialtome. Asoftknocksoundedonthedoor,andIjerkedmyheadup Apetiteblondenurseentered “ChiefWitter,”shesaidsoftly.“Dr.Collierisreadytoseeyounow.”
“Thankyou”
Ifollowedheroutoftheroom,leavingawordofcautionwiththepoliceofficeronduty.Nooutsiderknewaboutthepatient, buthowlongcouldwehideit?Luckily,hisfamilyhadunderstoodthismightbehisonlychanceforsurvivalandhadagreedto uscoveringuphisallegeddeath.Otherwise,wewouldneverhavebeenabletopullthisoff.
ThenurseledmedownasetofcorridorsuntilwecametoastopatadoorbearingthenameplateLoganCollier,MD,PhD, DivisionChief Sheknockedtwice “Comein.”
Sheturnedtheknobandgesturedformetoenter “Dr.Collier,theactingchiefofpoliceishere.”
“Thanks,Suzanne.Pleaseclosethedooronyourwayout.”
AsIwalkedintotheoffice,themansittingathisdeskrose.Hewasmyheightandinhisforties,withsprinklesofgrayhairat histemples.Hehadthebearingofamanincharge.Sodamnsureofhimself.Shrewdgrayeyesstaredbackatmefrombehinda pairofglasses
“Ben,pleasesit.”
Theweekswe’dinteractedsinceourpatient’shospitalizationhadleftusonafirst-namebasis Inoddedandclaimedoneof thechairsoppositehim.
“Ijustcheckedinwiththeofficeronduty,”Isaid.“Thingsarestillquiet,whichisgood.” “Ihandpickedthestaffcaringforhim,”Logansaid “They’retrustworthy”
“Thanksforthat,bytheway,butIfeartoomanypeopleareinvolved.Soonerorlater,someoneisgoingtogetcuriousand possiblyleaktheinformation”
“It’sthenatureofthehumanmindtobecurious.Theofficersondutyknowwhotheonlystaffmembersallowedtotendtothe patientare,though We’retreatingthiswithcaution”
“Ihavenodoubtyouwill.”Ishuffledforwardinmychair.“Whatabouthiscondition?Anyimprovement?”
“Unfortunately,notthewaywe’dhoped.Heflat-linedlastnight.”
Iinhaledsharply “Ithoughtyouwouldcallmeintheeventsomethinghappened”
“Whywould Icall you? He was nonresponsive for less thana minute before we revived him. He’s stable once more, so technically,nothinghaschanged.”
Iscrubbedmycheekwiththeheelofmyhand “We’rebackatsquareone”
“Ben,letmebefrankwithyou,”Logansaid.“Thechancesofhimwakinguparenotfavorableenoughforyoutohingethis caseonit Ifyouhaveotherleadstocatchthoseculpritsinvolvedinthiswholeaffair,thenpursuethem”
Justas I’d feared. The odds weren’tinmyfavor. None ofmyother leads had panned out. Ina few days, Iwould have to recall mysister, Alice, fromthe case Since the bust, no one had contacted her aboutbuyingher baby Iwas prettysure the prisonwascompromised.Whoeverwasbehindthiswouldbestupidtocontinueoperatinginthesameplace.
Arappingonthe door startled me outofmythoughts. WhenIstarted gettingup, Loganmotioned for me to remainseated. Withahospitalofthissizetomanage,hehadtobeabusyman,soIdidn’tdarelingerfortoolong Ifhecouldn’thelpme,Ihad noreasontostay.
“Enter,”Loganbarked
Thedooropened,andayoungmanlookingfreshoutofhighschoolentered,wearingtheuniformofadeliverycompany.He struggledtogetalargeboxalmosthisheightintothecenteroftheroom
“Dr.Collier?”heaskedbreathlessly.“Ihaveadeliveryforyou.”
Loganfrowned.“I’mnotexpectingadelivery.”
Theyoungmanshrugged “Ithasyournameandthehospitaladdressonit” Loganrosetohisfeetandinspectedthepackage.Withacurtnod,heacceptedtheclipboardandsignedforthedelivery. “Haveaniceday”TheyoungmanhurriedfromtheroomasthoughafraidLoganwouldchangehismindandaskhimtotake thepackagewithhim.
Logan’sfrowndeepened.Heseemedtense,andamuscleinhisjawticked.
“Somethingwrong?”Iasked.“Doyoususpectthispackagemightbedangerous?IcanalwaysgetaK-9tosniffitout.” “Noneed.”
“Allright Iguessthere’snothingtobedoneabout ” Loganheldupahand.Whatwasitaboutthatdamnboxthathadchangedhismood?
“Comeout,”hesaidinasternvoice “Comeoutrightnow,orIsweartogod” Iglancedaroundtheroom.Hadhegonemad?
Thepackagetwitched.Ijumpedtomyfeet,myhandonmyweaponasIcreptcloser.Whatthefuckwasgoingon?
Asharpinstrumentpokedthroughthetapeatthetopoftheboxandranseamlesslyalongthesealedflaps.Wassomeoneinthe box?Logannarrowedhiseyes,hisfaceabrightredandhislipsflattenedintoastraightline.
Slender hands pushed throughthe opened flaps Itightened mygrip onthe gun Adarkhead rose froma foamofpacking peanuts,whichspilledoutontothefloor.Long,blackhairobscuredtheperson’sface,butthenLogan’s“package”straightened. Deargod,historsowasbare
Bloom.OneoftheenforcersfortheBloodHoundsSmokyValechapter.Thepeculiaronewhoalwaysworeblackandmostly kepttohimself.
“Surprise!”hecriedwithhisarmsstretchedupward Hismotionrockedthebox,however,andthewholethingthreatenedto toppleoverwithhimstillinsideit.
Irushedforward Andendedupwithanakedboyinmyarms Hewas buck nakedfromhistoestohisneck Well,heworea blackchokerandsomearmbands,butthatwasit.Hedidn’thaveastitchofclotheson.
Stunned,Ilooked Maybeoutofcuriosityorsomethingelse,butIsweptmygazeoverhimandfeltalmostguiltyforit He lookedsoyoung,hispalelimbsslenderbutwithropymuscles.
“I’vegothim.”
Loganshovedhiswaytowardmeandtooktheboyfrommyarms Ihadnoreasontoobject,givenhoweagerlyBloomwent HehadawidesmileonhisfaceashewrappedhisarmsaroundLogan’sneck,lookingsmugwithhimself. Theyoungman’sbehaviordidn’tshockme ThesebikerscouldscarcelydoanythingIdidn’texpectfromthem,butLogan’s reaction,yankingtheboyfrommyarms,raisedsomanyquestions.Weretheyathing?
“Didn’tItellyounottocomehereanymore?”Logansnapped Heshruggedoutofhislabcoatanddrapeditovertheyoung man.
“That’swhyIhadtoimproviseanddisguisemyself.”Bloomtiltedhisheadback.“Didyouknowyoursecurityguardswill nolongerallowmeinhere?”
“Yes,that’sbecauseItoldthemtobaryoufromthehospital.Whydidyouinsistondoingsomethingthisridiculous?” Bloompouted “Imissedyou”
Their interactiononlyleftmemoreconfused.TheboyseemedcompletelybesottedwithLogan,butthelatter respondedto himterselyasifhecouldn’tstandthesightoftheboy.
ButthewayLoganhadwrestledBloomfrommyarmsleftaniggleofdoubt.Whatthehellwasgoingonhere?
“Thisisbeyondridiculous.”LogansteppedbackfromBloom.“IalreadytoldyouIdon’twantyou.Whyisthatsodifficult
foryoutocomprehend?”
“It’snotsodifficult.”Theboyshrugged.“It’sjustthatitdoesn’tmatterbecauseI’vedecidedIwantyou.”
“Insufferable”Loganspunaroundtome DidBloomgiveup?Nope Hewrappedhisarmsaroundthedoctor’smiddlefrom behind.Loganspoketomeasiftheboywasn’tclingingtohimlikeavine.“I’msorry,Ben,butIneedtodealwiththissituation onceandforall I’llgetintouchifthere’sadditionalnews”
Inodded.“Youknow,ifyoureallywanttogetridofhim,Icanwalkyouthroughfilingforarestrainingorderagainsthim.” Bloom’sexpressionchangedfromsofttohardinaflash Hisface,soanimatedearlierwhenseeingLogan,turnedcold,his eyebrowswrinkled,andhislipstwistedinanger.
“Whoaskedyou?”hesaidwaytoocalmlyfor myliking.“Don’tthinkbecauseGunner is workingwithyou,it’ll saveyou whenthetimecomes Dr Collierismybusinessandhasnothingtodowithyou” Myhacklesrose,andIopenedmymouth.
“Ben,he’snot It’suselessarguingwithhim”LogantookBloombythewrist Tomytrainedeye,itseemedlikeawarning, butBloomtookitasaninvitationtocuddleupunderthedoctor’sarm.“Don’ttakethethingshesaystoheart.I’lldealwithit.” Loganspokewithconviction,butsomethingabouthowhetreatedtheboydidn’tsitrightwithme Whyhadn’thetakenupmy offertousearestrainingorderagainstBloomifhereallyhatedtheattentiontheboypaidhim?
“Youhavemynumberifanythingchanges.”Iwalkedtothedoorandcouldn’thelplookingovermyshoulder.“Becarefulof prettyfaces,Logan He’soneofthemandcan’tbetrusted”
Somethingfierceflashedacrosstheboy’sface,butIdidn’tstickaroundtohearhisretort.Iclosedthedoorquietlybehind me Ididn’tleave immediatelybutwaitedfor a couple ofminutes The boydidn’tcome out Neither didLogan Shakingmy head,Itookmyleave.
I’dtriedtowarnhim.
ItextedJamie,whosaidhewasonabreak,soIwaitedforhimatthenurse’sstation.Whenheapproached,hesmiled,and mychesttightened.Justfor a second,his smile remindedme ofhis father,Mason.The manI’dlovedbutcouldnever getto commitfullytome Nowhewasdead,andIhadalltheseunresolvedfeelingsbetweenMasonandme “UncleBen!”
Smiling, Iembraced the youngmanwho walked into myarms Technically, Iwasn’this uncle, buthe’d always called me that.SecretlyI’dwishedhewouldonedaycall meDad,butthatwasoutofthequestionnow.Atfirst,I’dbeenworriedthat withhisfathergoneandhimhavingabikerashisboyfriend,hewouldn’tkeepintouch,butwemightevenbeclosernowthan whenhisfatherwasstillalive.
“Hey,kiddo.”Ipattedhisshoulderandsqueezedgently,thenlethimgo.“How’severythinggoing?”
“Great WanttohavedinnerwithGrimmandmeovertheweekend?”
If it were just him, I would have said yes in a heartbeat, but I was already spending enough time with another morally bankruptbikerpresident HewasallIcouldhandleatthemoment
“Maybesomeothertime?I’mprettybusyrightnowworkingonthiscase.ThemayorwantsitresolvedASAP.” “Iunderstand,butdon’tworkyourselfintoanearlygrave.WithDadgone,youandGunnerareallIhaveinthatdepartment.” “Gunner?”Ifrowned Heatflushedthroughmysystem “Whatdoeshehavetodowithanything?” “Uh,umm,youmightnotknow,buthewasgreatfriendswithDaddyGrimmbefore.”
“Itstillmakesmenervousknowingyou’rehangingaroundwiththem,butatleastGrimmprotectsyou”
Jamiesmiled,andhiseyessoftened.“Hereallydoes.”Thenhisfacefell.Hesteppedcloserandloweredhisvoice.“Soyou canseewhyyou’veputmeinanawkwardsituationhere ItellGrimmeverything”
Frowning,Itookhimbytheshoulders.“Listentome,Jamie.IknowyoutrustGrimm,buthisprioritywillalwaysbetothe club.They’rehisfamily.Ican’taffordhimoranyoneelsetoknowthebikerisstillalive.Youhavetopromisemeyouwon’t sayanything”
Jamieletoutasigh.“Iunderstand,butIdon’tlikeit.Wedon’tkeepsecretsfromeachother.”
The words were on the tip of my tongue to ask himif he believed the biker president of the most notorious MC in the Midwesttold himall his dirtysecrets. ButIwasn’tcertainIwanted to know the answer. Either way, itwas alarming, butI couldn’tturnmybackonMason’sonlychild Throughhim,theimageofmylovelivedon Iwouldalwayscareforhissonnow thathecouldn’t.
“Thankyou, Jamie.” Iloosened mygrip and offered hima smile. “Your father would have beenproud ofthe manyou’ve become”
Hiseyesmisted,andheinhaleddeeply.“Maybe.HewasdisappointedaboutmebeingwithGrimm.”
“Yourdadwasalwaysdisappointedaboutonethingoranother Believeme,helovedyouandwasproudofyou” Henodded.“Thankyou.Ineededtohearthat.” “Anytime.”
“Ishouldgetaquickbitetoeatbeforemybreakends.Whenyou’refree,let’shavethatdinner.” “Sure.I’llletyouknowwhen.”
Whenhewalkedaway,Iwatchedhimwithmyhandsthrustintomypocketsuntilheroundedthecorner.Shit,Iforgottoask himwhatwasupwithhismentorandBloom. Well,fuck,itwasn’tanyofmybusinessanyway IhadonemorebikeronmymindthanIneededrightnow
Valentine's was a mess Dinner with Gunner, then a late night call to Ben My heart is in two places at once satattheheadofthelong,worn-outtable,mypresident’spatchweighingonmybacklikealeadslab.SinceCroweandhis menhadsweptinandrenovated,theclubhouselookeddifferent,morehabitable,butatleastthey’dkeptthescarredtable Thewoodbeneathmyfingersprovidedasenseoffamiliarityinthecloudofuncertaintydriftingthroughmymind.
MaybeIshouldgiveupmyposition I’dcertainlynotshownmyselfcapableofleadingtheclubinthepastyearandahalf Hell,maybeevenlongbeforethat.Thefearlessclubthathadsentterrordownthespineofthosewhocameacrossuswasno more,andtheemptychairsintheroomwereevidenceofthat.
Whyhadn’tCroweallowedmetoquit?Instead,he’dinsistedI’druinedthenameoftheclubandifIintendedtopassitonto someoneelse,IneededtobringitbacktothewayithadbeenintheglorydayswhenwewerestillBloodlets.OnlythencouldI walkaway,ortheheftyfineIwouldowecouldneverberepaid
Ourclub’semblemwasstitchedintothefabricofeverycut,butasIlookedaroundtheroom,farfewerBloodHoundswere presentthanthere usedto be Fuck,Ihadn’tevenbeenable to retainthe name ofthe club Crowe had strippedthatawayin favor of Blood Hounds. AlthoughI knew he intended to put the past behind us and move forward to create a better, more effectiveclub,havingouridentityremovedstillrankled.
I’dbeenaBloodletallmylife Whenotherswalkedaway GrimmandMason I’dremainedaBloodlet Iclenchedmyfistsunderthetable,bringingmyfocusbacktothematterathand.Ourchurch,thesacredgatheringwherewe madedecisions,hadaroundhalfitsoriginalnumbers includingCrowe’smen I’dwaitedlongenoughtoseeifothermembers wouldshow up,butsomeseemedtohavedefected,whichwasn’tcompletelymyfault.WhileCrowehadgoodintentionsfor theclub,oldermembershadgrumbledathisinterference.TheymighthavegoneupagainsthimifCrowewasn’taspowerfulas hewas.Thathenow hadforgedanalliancewiththeGrimmReapershadmadethingsworseforthosebrotherswhohadlost businessesandfamilymembersatthehandsoftheotherclub.
For theclubtosurvivethemass exodus,Icouldn’treachfor abottlewiththesamehasteI’dbeendoinglately Nomatter howharditwassometimestostaysober.
Viper finished his recount of our last meeting We hadn’t had a meetinginmonths I didn’t recall half of the things he’d mentioned.Howhewasabletoretainallthatinformationinhisheadwasbeyondme,butthatwasthereasonhewasincharge ofourrecords.Hejusthadaproblemgettingitdownonpaper.
Icleared mythroat. “We need to talkrecruitment.” Tip-toeingaround the issue wasn’t goingto solve anything. Everyone could see the emptychairs. “Our herd has beenthinned latelywithall the changes we’ve made. This might be our lowest numbersinhistory,andweneedtochangethatfast” “Butwhatcanwe do?” Everyone turnedtheir attentiontoTango.The manfrowned,leaningforward,anda lockofbrown hairfellonhisforehead
“Whatdoyoumean,Tango?” Saint,Crowe’s man,crossedhis arms.“Surelythis can’tbe your firstrecruitmentevent.We recruitallthetimebackinRiverton.”
Tangoglancedaround “Nooneelsewantstosayit?Okay,Iwill Whywouldanyonewanttosignupforthisclubwhenthe GrimmReapersprovidebetter everything?”
Hiswordspunchedmeinthegut TheywereadirectcriticismofthewayI’dledtheclubovertheyears “That’sbecauseallthequeersjointhem,”Mousesaid.Ironically,hissqueakyvoicesoundedlikeatinymouse,buthewas thebiggestofallofus,atnearlysevenfeet
IglancedatCrowe,whowas standingagainstthewall totheleft,listeninginonour meetingbutnotinterfering.Givenhe andhisfriendswereopenlyqueer,I’dexpectedhimtorespond,buthedidn’tsayanything. “We’rebetteroffwithoutthem,then,”Tangosaid HestareddirectlyatCroweasifhewaschallengingtheotherman
“Maybeormaybewe’reshootingourselvesinthefootbybeingsostiffaboutthis,”Mousesaid.“Isitreallyimportantwho someonefucks?Whenwasthelasttimethathelpedanyofus?”
“Youlookingforareasontocomeout,Mouse?Noneed”Tangosneered “Weallknowwhereyourdick’sbeengoinglately, orareyoutheonewhodoesthespreading?”
Mousejumpedtohisfullheight,blowinglikeabull “Yousaythatagain,andyou’llbewearingyourintestinesasshoes” Tango got to his feet. I crashed myfists into the table, ignoringthe painspreadingthroughout myhands fromthe impact. “Enough!”Isaid “Youtwowanttokilleachother,doitofftheclub’sproperty Otherwise,sitthefuckdownandshutthefuck upunlessyouhavesomethingconstructivetocontribute.”
TangoandMouseglaredateachotherbutsatbackdown.“Sorry,prez,”Mousesaid. TangogruntedwhatIassumedwasanapology,butitwastoolowtohear
“Abouttherecruitment,”Isaid.“Weneedtomakeitclear atthebar wearetakingonnew prospects.We’ll hostapublic, family-friendlyBBQ Forthosewhodon’thavearide,wemightbeabletofinancethem DukeandI shit,Imean,I’llcrunch thenumbersandseehowmuchwecanspare.”
Owninga Harleywas the number one rule ofthe clubandbecame a deterrentfor those whowouldlike tojoinbutdidn’t havethemoneytogettheirownhog.Dukehadbeenthetreasurerfortheclub,buthewasoneofourlatestcasualtiestoo. Fuck, Ididn’tneed justnew members butbikers who could fill all the vacantpositions permanently. Crowe and his men wouldn’t be around forever Maybe Bay, since he shacked up with the ex-mayor, but with their months-old baby, he was focusingmoreonthebusinesssideoftheclubthroughthecasinowe’dopenedwiththeReapers. Webrainstormedsomemoreideastoincreaseour membership,finallydecidingonsendinginvitationstoour newlyallied MCs to joinus inSmokyVale’s firstMC rally. We were organizinga teamto workonthe plans whenZero, a prospecton patrol,hoveredinthedoorway. Istiffened. Prospects weren’tallowed to attend our meetings. Theydidn’thave thatrightuntil theybecame fullypledged members.
“Whatisit,Zero?”Iasked Heglancedaroundattheothersintheroomandcautiouslyapproachedme.“Thecop’sheretoseeyou,”hewhispered,but thewordsgratedoutinasqueakthatcarriedthroughouttheroom Ifrowned.WhatwasWitter doinghere?Thelasttimewe’dspoken,I’dtoldhimIwouldgetintouch.Hispresenceatthe clubhousemadetheotherbikersnervous.Isawthemistrustintheireyes.Anydaynow,oneofthemwouldspeakoutaboutme “teamingup”withthechiefofpolice. “Lethimwaitinthemesshall,”Isaid.
“Yes,sir”
Zerohurriedfromtheroom.WhenIreturnedmyattentiontothebikersatthetable,anundercurrentfloodedintheroomthat hadn’tbeentherebefore
“Thatcopshouldn’tbehereifyouaskme,”Tangosaid.“Acophasnoplaceinthisclubhouse.”
“Youkeeprunningyourmouth,Tango,andsoonyou won’thaveaplaceinthisclubhouse.” “Ididn’tsayanythingeveryoneelseisn’tthinking Bikersandcopsgotogetherlikeoilandwater Wedon’tmix Hehasno businesshere.”
Ihalfrosefrommyseatwithmyhandsbracedonthetable Furyfilledme,boiling,expanding,andIhadtoinhaledeeplynot togooffonhimthewayIwantedto.
“He has business here because some of you morons thought it would be a good idea to use club property to fuck with businessyou’renotsupposedto.HowmanygoddamntimesdoIhavetosayit?Intheeyesofthistown,wearefuckingdregs, butsomelineswedon’tcross.Wedon’tfuckaroundwithchildren.Period.Eveniftheybelongtoourenemies.Soyes,Iam helpingthepolicetofindouthowfarthisgoestoensureyoualldon’tbringtheclubdownwithyou Andsohelpmegod,ifI findoutanyofyousittinghere todayare involved.Youdon’thave toworryaboutthe slammer because I’ll take yououtmy fuckingself Doyoustillwanttoobjecttomeworkingwiththecop?”
Theroomfellsosilenttheintakeofbreathsechoedlikegunshots.GonewerethedayswhenIwassocutupoverMason’s deathIallowedeverybikertodoastheypleased Thatwasthereasonwewereinthismess Crowewasright Thiswasmy messtocleanup,andbygod,Iwould.
Whennoonesaidanything,Isatagain.WegotthroughtherestofthemeetingwithnomorecommentsfromTango.Theclub wasstillundergoingrenovations Someofthebrotherswereneededforroutinesecurityatthecasino Weneededmorewomen tosatisfythemenandmaintaintheplace.Notthatitwashardtogetthem,butwe’dbeensoinvolvedwithfightingthatwomen hadn’tbeenapriority
Theroomcamealiveagainatthementionofinvitingmorehangaroundstostayon.Ibreathedasighofreliefwhiletheylet offsteam,mouthingoffaboutmachoshit.IletitgoonforafewminutesbeforeIdrewtheirattentionbacktome.
“Iknow Ihaven’tbeenthe bestpresidentover the pastcouple ofyears,” Isaid, the words feelingawkward onmylips. I neverapologizedtoanyone,butwhenourclubhadsufferedthisgreataloss,IfeltIowedittothem.“ButI’lldoeverythingin
my power to turn this around. Everyone compares us to the GrimmReapers and how well they’re doing. Because they’re united. Theystand witheachother. They’re no differentfromus otherwise, so let’s make this fuckingclub a place all those who’vegonebeforeuswouldbeproudof”
“Whateveryouneed,prez,youcancountonme,”Mousesaid.
“Yeah,we’velostbloodforthisplace,”Tangosaid “Isaywhatthefuckcomestomymind,butit’sforthesakeoftheclub” Inodded. Despite himmouthingoff, Tango had always proved reliable. He mightevenmake anexcellentVP, since mine betrayedme Icouldalwayscountonhimtospeakhismindratherthantostabmeintheback,butIwasinnohurrytochoose someonetofillthespotpermanently.
“That beingsaid, Crowe’s menwill step up to offer us some manpower temporarily,” Isaid. “We lost Butcher. The kid, Bloom,willtakehisplaceasourenforcer,andbeforeanyofyoudisagree,goupagainsthimoneonone,andifyouwin,you havetherighttospeak.Mouse,you’llworkwithhim.WinterandTango,you’reonroadcaptainduties.Saintwillshadowmy positionfornow Iseveryoneclear?Anyquestions?”
“Wedon’thaveatreasurer.”
Fuck
“I’llhandleitfornow.Whenwemeetagain,we’lldecide.”
Werecitedourclubmotto,“Livefast,ridefaster.Ridetogether.Dietogether,”whichwehadn’tdoneinalongtime,butas thebikersroared,fillingtheroom,thewordsboostedmyenergy
This club will not fail.
Themembersstreamedoutoftheroominclusters,almostgettingstuckinthedoorway Oneshovedtheotherahead,arguing andribbing.Itwasgoodtohearthemfightoverpettyshit.Meantthecamaraderiewasreturning.
“Welcomeback.”Istartled.Crowepushedoffthewall,hislipsquirkedupattheside.“Youkeepthisup,andtheclubwill befine.I’mgladIdidn’tpulltheplugonit.”
“YouthinkI’dletyou?”
“Saysthemanwhowantedtowalkawayfromthemesshe’dcreated?” Fuckhim.Hewasright.HewasalsooneofthereasonsIstillwantedtodownabottleofJackDaniel’s.Hewassofucking perfectwithmenwhowouldlaydowntheirlivesforhim Hehadaboyfriendwhoworshipedthegroundhewalkedon HehadeverythingIwanted.
Islammedthedoorontheenvythatcreptin.
“Gotalktoyourcop.Treadlightlywiththatone.Youworkwith him,notfor him.” “Youdon’tneedtotellmehowtodomyjob,Crowe.”
“Ididn’tthinkso,butit’sgoodwe’reonthesamepage”
Crowe strolled fromthe room, leavingme alone. Itooka couple ofminutes to recuperate fromthe meeting, thengot up. FacingWitteralwaysscrewedwithmyhead Somehoweverywordoutofhismouthmademewanttoopposewhathe’dsaid Ifhecommentedtheskywasblue,I’dsayblackjusttonothavethesameanswerhedid. Itwasfuckingchildish,butIcouldn’thelpmyself,andIloathedhimforit.Andotherreasons.
Wittersatbyhimselfatatableinthemesshall,lookingtoorelaxedforacopinadenofvipers AllIneededwastosayone word,andhewashistory.Theotherbikersdidn’tpayhimanymindastheypouredliquorandcontinuedtheircrasstalkabout sex Ifhefoundthetopicdistasteful,hedidn’tshowit
“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
Hisbodywentrigid Thenhesquaredhisshouldersasheturnedtofaceme Eyesthecolorofcobaltbluemetmine,andthe groundbeneathmyfeetshifted.WasitthoseblueeyesthatMasonhadfallenfor?Iwantedtodigthemoutofhishead. “Istheresomewherewecantalkprivately?”Wittergottohisfeetbutdidn’tapproachme.
The chatter inthe mess hall had died down Everyone was eyeingus as thoughexpectingus to come to blows witheach other.
“Thisway”
Iwalkedoffwithoutlookingback.Ididn’tneedto.Hispresencewasthisheavyforcebehindme,andhiseyesburntahole intomyback Whenwereachedmyoffice,Iopenedthedoorandcloseditbehindus “What’ssoimportantthatyoucouldn’twait,OfficerWitter?” “It’sactingchief.”
I smirked “Around here, your title doesn’t weigh much You’re a cop Are you going to waste my time talking about semanticsorexplainwhatyou’redoinghere?”
“Yousaidyou’dhelpwiththeinvestigation,butitseemsyou’vebeenavoidingme” “IsaidI’dkeepintouchifanythingcomesup.Nothinghas.”
Heraisedhiseyebrows,distruststeepedinthoseunsettlingblues.“It’sbeenweeksandnothing.Ifyoutrulywanttohelp,let meseeacopyofyourmembershiprecords.”
Iwalkedaroundmydeskandsatwithmyfeetproppedup.Afolder witha stackofpapers fell fromthe desk,whichwas
litteredwithemptycansofbeer,symbolsofanotherfailedattemptatsobriety.Hmm,weretheyallempty?Ipickedthemupone byoneuntilIfoundonefilledtoaboutaquarter.
Witter’sgazeflewtothecan,followingmymovementasIcleanedtheopeningwithacornerofmyshirt,thentippedittomy lips.Iswalloweddownthelukewarmliquid.Ittastedinsipid,butthelookofdisgustonWitter’sfacewasworthit.
“Ah”Iwipedmymouthwiththebackofmyhandandtossedthecantowardthewastebin Itmissedaltogetherandlanded onthefloor.“I'dhopedthatwasn’tpiss.”
“You’redisgusting”
Igrinned.“Notthatkinky,areyou?”
“Yourregister,”Wittergratedoutbetweenclenchedteeth.“Letmehaveit,andI’llgetoutofhere.”
“Youcan’thaveit”
Witterstormedovertothedeskandbracedbothhandsonthebeatenwood.Asheopenedhismouthtotalk,Ibelched,aburst ofairhittinghimintheface Hejerkedback,wrinklinghisnoseasifI’dthrownuponhim “Jesus.Fuck.Whatwereyoueating?Ass?”
Notinthe leastbitself-conscious, Icrossed myarms and wiggled myeyebrows “Is thatyouaskingfor a demonstration, Officer?Thendropyourpantsandbendovermydesk.I’llbetyouit’sthebestass-lickingyou’lleverhave.”
Witterclenchedhisjawtightandnarrowedhiseyesintoicyslits.Aflushofcrimsoncreptuphisneckandoverhischeeks. “It’snotgoingtowork,”hesaid “TryingtodistractmefromthereasonI’mhere Iwouldn’tletyourmouthanywherenear myassifyouwerethelastmanonearth.”
Ismirked “ThenI’llwaitforthedayyoubegmetoeatyououtlikeahotpocket Butuntilthen,Ican’thandoverthelistof myclubmemberstoyou.”
“Whythefucknot?”
“Becauseone,youhaveanattitude,eventhoughyou’rebeggingmeformyhelp.Andtwo,becauseI’mnothellastupid.IfI giveyouthatlist,I'llbeputtingatargetonthebackofeverymemberofthisclub.”
“AndifIpromiseI’llonlyuseitforthisinvestigation?”
“Yourpromisesmeansquattome.”
“Doyouhavesomethingtohide?Isthatit?”Wittersteppedbackandsurveyedthechaoticroom “Nah,Idon’tthinkthat’sthe mainreason.Lookingatthisdump,I’llbetyoudon’tevenkeeparegisterofyourmembers,doyou?”
Iclenchedmyhandsintofists.“I’llcontactyouifIhaveinformation.Getout,anddon’tshowuphereagain.” Witterlaughed,thesoundlowandthreatening.“Markmywords,Gunner.Whateverittakestoclosethiscase,I’lldoit.With orwithoutyou.”
“Goodluck”
“You’resuchafuckingprick,youknowthat?Ishouldhaveknownbetterthantothinkyoucouldactuallybeofanyusetothis investigation Ifyoucan’tgiveanaccountforevenyourmembers,howthefuckyougonnarunthisclub?Youalreadyranitinto thegroundonce.”
White, hotrage consumed me and turned myvisionred. The clickofweapons beingdrawnfilled the room. Ihad mygun trainedonWitter,andhe hadhis service weaponaimedatme His holdonthe gunwas steady SomanymenIknew would havebeenshakingintheirboots,butnothim.FromthemomentImethim,he’dactedlikeaconceitedsonofabitch.
If you ’ re going to ruin him, you’ll need to be patient Iloweredmygun,slidthesafetybackintoplace,andshovedthegunintothedrawer.Theslamofthedrawersatisfiedmy frustrationafraction WhenIglancedupatBen,hisgunwasholstered Ihadthefeelingitwouldn’tbethelasttimehewould pointhisweaponatme.
“IfIhaveanythingtoshare,”Isaid.“I’llgetintouch.”
Ben’s footsteps retreated to the door, then stopped “I know you hate my guts I even understand why Working with a scumbaglikeyouisnotveryappealingtomeeither,butthelivesofinnocentchildrenareatstake.I’mnotaskingyoutodoit forme Takethisseriouslyforthem”
Witter closed the door onhis wayout. I expelled a deep breath. Fuckingcop had me so wound up all I wanted was to disappearinadrink
Abottleofwhiskeywouldgodownnicely.Iwalkedtothedoor butturnedaroundandsurveyedtheroom,tryingtoseeit fromWitter’sperspective.Mystomachchurned.HowhadIbeenlivinginthisfilthallthistime?Theofficeneededcleaning. The one window inthe roomwas so dirtyI couldn’t see throughit anymore Papers, cans, bottles, and food wrappers lay scatteredonthefloor.MydeskwasjustaplacewhereIthreweverythingIwantedtogetridof.
Heatfloodedmyface
NowonderMasonhadchosenhim.Thefamiliarangertwistedinmygut.MasonandIhadfuckedinsecret.Thenhehadgone hometohispartner.Ishouldhaveknownthatwasthereasonheneverstayedlong.Justinfrequenthookupsoutsideoftownin cheapmotelswherenooneknewwhohewas.I’dcherishedeverybitofthosestolenmoments.Masonhadconstantlyreminded meitwasnothingbutafuckforoldtime’ssake.Butwhenhe’dtoldmeIwasstilltheonlymanhetrustedtobottomfor,how
couldIhaveremainedindifferenttotakinghimtobedeachtime?
Closing my eyes, I inhaled and exhaled deeply until the tightness in my chest eased. But behind my closed eyelids was stampedtheimageofBen,icy-blueeyescalmandfixedonmewithnofearaswesquaredoff Icouldn’twaittofindhisweak spotandhithimwhereithurt.Ihadneverexpectedhimtofindmysorespotsoeasily. I’dunderestimatedhim Neveragain.
Gunner's laugh echoes in my mind even when I'm holding Ben I'm torn between two lives
climbed the steps to the porchofmyneighbor’s house, the weightofanother gruelingdayofpolice workliftingfrommy shoulders WhenIapproachedthedoor,Iheardpawsontheotherside,followedbyawhininghowl Iraisedmyhand,but thedoorswungopenbeforeIcouldknock.
“Daddy’shome,Zeus GotoDaddy”
MyretiredK-9Germanshepherdbulldozedhiswayoutofthehouse,tailwagginginjubilantcirclesashecrashedintome. Chuckling,Iwentdownononekneeandrubbedhisbackthewayheliked.Heheadbuttedmeasiftopunishmeforbeingaway forhours,butthenhistonguelashedout,andhewaslickingmeeverywhere
“Forfuck’ssake,Zeus.”Ihuggedhim,justasrelievedashimtobehome.Aftertenhoursonthejobwithstillnoleadonthe babyfarm,Iwasreadytoputmyfeetupandrelax
“Aww,thisisjustthecutestthing.He’sbeensittingatthedoorallevening.”
Shit,withZeus’senthusiasticgreeting,I’dforgottenallaboutmyneighbor Asherstoodinthedoorway,smilingwidelyatme andmydog.
“Asher,Ididn’tseeyouthere.”
Hewavedahand “Whocanblameyou?I’dbehappybeingatthereceivingendofZeus’saffectiontoo”
“Thanks for watchinghim,” Isaid, rufflingZeus’s fur, thengettingto myfeet. “Seriously, Iwasn’teventhinkingaboutmy hecticschedulewhenIadoptedZeus Ifeelsoguiltyforbeingawaytoomuch,butnowit’simpossibletogivehimup” “It’s beensixmonths, Ben,” Asher said. “Youcanstop tellingme thanks now. It’s notlike we’re strangers. I’mhappyto watchZeusanytime,sinceIworkfromhome,soit’sabsolutelynotrouble.Besides,he’sagoodboy.”
“I’mglad,butIstillfeelguiltyaboutallthetimeyouhavehim.Yousureyouwon’tletmepayyouanythingforyourtime? Afterall,youwalkhimandpickupafterhim.”
“Let’sjustsayit’sagoodtrade Withouthim,I’dbealoneathome AndwalkinghimisabouttheonlyexerciseIget,soif youthinkaboutit,you’redoingmeahugefavorbyleavinghimhere.”
Icockedmyheadandsmiled TalkingtoAsherwassoeasy Ifonlywewerecompatible He’dmovednextdooreightmonths ago,andwe’dbecomefriends.Hehadakeytomyplaceandeverything.It’dmakesenseifheneededsomethingforZeusfrom myhousewhileIwasatwork.
“Allthesame,onmydayoff,I’llcomeoverandmowthatlawnofyours.”
Asher’shandfluttereduptohisneck.Fromthepinkcreepingupintohischeeks,he’dlatchedontothedoubleentendrethat waspurelycoincidental Iwastheonewholikedmylawntobemowed “Youdon’thaveto,butIwon’tturnyoudown,”hesaid.“Infact,whydon’tyoustayfor awhile?Imadebeefstew,butI haven’teatenyet Wecanhavedinnertogether”
ComparedwiththefrozenpizzaIhadinmyrefrigerator,beefstewsoundeddivine,butstayingfordinnerwouldgivehimthe wrongimpressionthatIwasintohim.
“I’llhavetotakearaincheck” “It’sjustdinner.”
“I’mexpectingcompany Anditshouldn’tbelonguntiltheygethere” “Thenstayrightthereforafewminutes.Pleasedon’tleave.” Asherranbackinside IscratchedbehindZeus’seartocalmhimdown Inafewminutes,Asherreturned,carryingacovered dish.Hepusheditintomyarms,givingmenochancetorefusehisoffer.
“Thereyougo,”hesaid.“Ihopeyouenjoyit,andsomeothertime,wecanhavethatdinnertogether.”
“Thanks,Asher,”Isaidsoftly “Ireallyappreciatehowneighborlyyouare”
Hewasakindyoungmanwithabigheart.Onewhowouldhavemadeaperfectpartner.Afteralongdayworking,Ineeded someonetowelcomemehome.Alittleoldfashioned,maybe,butitwouldworkforme.
ToobadIwasn’tattractedtohim “Anytime,Ben.Seeyoutomorrow.”
Iwaved and tookZeus bythe collar Asher remained atthe door, staringafter us He’d spentso muchtime takingcare of Zeusitwasreasonableforhimtomissthedog,butIhadthefeelinghewasstaringatme.Ididn’tgiveintotheurgetocheck.I neededsomeonetowatchZeusmorethanIneededanaffairthatwouldn’tlast
Home at last. I shrugged off my clothes and got comfortable in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. I turned the TVon in the background and played with Zeus for a few minutes, then washed up. I was making a salad to go with the stew when the doorbellrang
Mysister’shusbandstoodontheporch.
“Jasper,comeonin Letmetakeyourcoat”
Zeuscameuptocheckoutourvisitor,determinedhewasn’tathreat,andsaunteredoff.IledJasperintothekitchen. “Didyoujustgethome?”heasked “I’mnotinterrupting,amI?”
“You’refine.Sit.Iwasabouttoeat.Wantsome?”
“Isthereenough?”
“Sure I’lljustwhipupasalad There’sgarlicbreadinthefreezer Popafewslicesinthetoaster,willyou?” “Noprob.”
Isensedhehadalotonhismindasweworkedquietlytoputtogetheradecentdinnerforus TothinkI’dhatedhimforso long.Apartfrommysister,hewastheclosestthingtoafamilythatIclaimed,evenwitheverythingheandmysisterhaddone wrong.
Wesettleddownatthekitchentable.Jasperhummedwhenhetastedthestew.“Thisisreallygood.Didyoumakeit?” “Nah,myneighbordid.”
Thewayheatehadn’tchanged,althoughhewasnolongerhurtingformoneyandfood Sincehisreleasefromprison,he’d beenamodelcitizen.
“ThatprettyblondfromnextdoorwhowasgettingintohiscarwhenIpulledup?” “Yeah.”
“Somethinggoingonthere?” “Nope.”
“Too bad. Alice would be over the moonif youwere datingsomeone. She’s beenworried about yousince your partner died”
“Shedoesn’tneedtoworry.I’mfine.Busy.Didyouvisithertoday?”
“Yes That’swhyI’mhere Noonehascontactedhersincethewholeprisonshakedown Don’tyouthinkit’stimetopullher fromtheprison?Sheshouldn’thavebeenthereinthefirstplace.”
“Shevolunteered,Jasper.Infact,Iwasagainstit,butsheinsisted.”
“Well,it’sgoneonfortoolongnow Ineverlikedtheideaofherdoingthis,especiallyinhercondition”
“I’llbepullinghernextweekifthere’sstillnocontactwithher.”Isighed.“Ifnotforthosebikersfuckingupeverything,we mighthavecaughttheculpritsbynow Whywouldtheystilltrytosourcebabiesfromtheprisonwhentheynowknowwe’ve figuredthatout?”
“Exactly Idon’tfeelcomfortablewithherlockedupanymore That’smywholelifeinthatprisoncell”
“Iknow.Believeme,Iknow.I’llstartontheproceduretogetherpulled.”
“ThenI’llbeabletosleepbettertonight.”
“Listen,man,Iknow youdidn’twanther todothis,butittookguts for her,a civilian,tovolunteer whenwe were getting nowherewiththeinvestigation.”
Jasper ran his tattooed fingers through his curly black hair “Since we both got out of the slammer, she’s been doing everythingshecantopayitforward,butshe’sabouttobeamothernow.Iwanthertorelax.Webothmademistakes,andit’s timetoputthembehindus”
“Iagree.Don’tworry.Oncethebabygetshere,shewon’thavetimetorunaround,alwaysvolunteeringforprojects.” Jasperstayedforalmosttwohours.Ihumoredhim.Iwasthereasonhewasaloneandmissinghiswife.Hecouldhavefilled hislonelynightwithachippieonthesidewhilemysisterwasinprison,buthe’dchosentovisitmeinstead Whenhewasreadytogo,IwalkedJaspertothefrontdoor.Hehonkedhishornonceashebackedoutofthedriveway.I’d hatedhimfordraggingmyyoungersisterdownintoalifeofdrugsandstealing,butovertheyears,I’dbeenforcedtoadmitthe truth.Ithadbeentheotherwayaround.
Amotorcycleroared,andIstraightenedandtightenedmygriponthedoor. Gunner?
Themotorcyclezippedby,goingtoofasttoseewhotheriderwas.Thetensioninmyshoulderseased.WhatwasIthinking?
Ofcourseitwasn’tGunner.Hedidn’tknowwhereIlived,andthatassholewasalltalk.Hedidn’tintendtoactuallycontribute tothecase.Hewouldn’tevenhandoverhisclubregister.
Whyhadhevolunteeredtohelpifhehadnointentionofdoingso?Hissolepurposesofarwastoaggravatemeeachtimewe met.
Then drop your pants and bend over my desk I’ll bet you it’s the best ass-licking you’ll ever have Ashiver randownmyspine. Gunner’s gravellyvoice sounded so clear itwas as ifhe was standingnextto me. He was fuckingwithme EveryoneknewthepresidentoftheBloodHoundswasahomophobe Yetmydickdidn’tseemtounderstand themeaningofthat.
“Ineedtogetlaid.”Islammedthedoorshutandwincedatthecrack.Zeusboundedovertoinvestigate.“Sorry,boy.Wantto goforawalk?”
Heyipped,turningaroundtonudgemetowardthedoor.
“Justaminute,boy”Ilaughed “Ineedtogetsomeshoeson” Zeus andIwalkedtothepark.Onlyafew peoplewerearoundduetothelatehour.Iunleashedhim,andweplayedcatch untilhegotdistractedandchasedafterasquirrel Itookpityonhimandallowedhimtorununinhibitedforawhile,keepingan eye onhim, thencallinghimback. Withhis years of training, he never disobeyed. I’d insisted ongettingpointers fromhis handlerintheK-9unitwhenIadoptedhim.
Wejoggedbackhome Whenwearrived,Asherwaspullingupinhisyard Iwavedathimbutdidn’tgivehimachanceto callme.
“Comeon,boy Inside”
Thejoghadclearedmymind.Myearlierirritationhadvanished,allowingmetothinkbetter.IfIstoppedpursuingGunner for answers, his ploywould work. His club was linked to the babyfarm. Icouldn’teliminate the pressure fromthatangle. Maybe if he saw how serious I was about finding answers, he would stop fucking with me and work with me like he’d promised.
Anhourandahalflater,IleftZeusnappingonhisbed Hewouldbegoodforafewhoursonhisown BloodyHell,thebar ownedbytheBloodHounds,waslesspopularthanI’dthoughtitwouldbe.Onlyahandfulofmotorcyclesandacoupleofcars wereparkedoutside IparkednexttoGunner’sbike,whichwashardtomisswithitscustompaintjobinmatteblack,butwhat setitapartfromtheotherswastheairbrushedimageofasnarling,three-headeddogonthefueltank.Eachheadhadglowing redeyeswithreflectivepaintthatcamealiveunderthestreetlights.Flamesencircledthecreature,extendingtowardtheseat, whichgavetheillusionthatthebeastwasemergingfromhell.
Themotorcyclewassohim.Impressedbythecustomfinish,IinspectedthehogfarlongerthanIshould.Howsweetithadto betorideonabikethatpowerful
The door to the bar opened, and Istepped awayfromthe motorcycle. LastthingIneeded was for one ofthemto getthe wrongideathatIwasabikethief
Amanandawomanwalkedoutofthebar.Theywerebarelyoutsidewhenthebiker liftedher andwalkedher aroundthe sideofthebuilding.AsInearedthefrontdoor,hercriesweregettinglouder.Eitherthebikerwasindeedthatgood,orshehad thevocalcordsofapornstar
I’dhingemybetonthelatter.
AsIpushedopenthedoortotheBloodyHell,arushofcigarettesmoke,beer,andthemuskyscentofmengreetedme The atmosphere was more subdued than I would have thought. In the background, classic rock played low. Vintage motorcycle memorabilia, neonbar signs, and anAmericanflaghungfromthe ceiling The bar tookup muchofthe space to the right A bikerstoodatadartboard,teachingagigglingwomaninashortredskirthowtothrowthedart.Shemissedthebull’s-eyebya mile,butthatcouldbearesultofthebiker’shandgropingherbackside.
To the leftwas a pool table where mostofthe mencongregated Abetseemed to be inplay, giventhe excited hum They sparedmeaglance,thenreturnedtotheirgame.
Askinny,tattooedbikerslouchedinaboothwithhisarmsspreadalongtheback,hisheadthrownback,andhismouthopen Femininelegsandheelspokedoutfromunderthetable.
Jesus
Icontinuedmywaytothebar,whichhadbeenempty,butGunnerappearedbehindthelongwoodencounter.Mymouthwent dry.His wavyblackhair was loosedowntohis shoulders.Tattoos snakedupfromhis leftsideover his baremuscledtorso anddisappearedbeneathhiscut
“Areyoustalkingmenow,Mr.ActingChief?”Hesmirked.Sonofabitchwasusingthetitletohumorhimselfratherthanan officialaddressformyposition Ibittheinsideofmycheekstostemthescathingretort “It’sjustBentonight.Whateveryouhaveontapisfine.”
TGunner's touch is electrifying, yet Ben's kiss haunts me I'm living a lie with both hecopwaspersistent.Ihadtogivehimthat.Hedidn’tbataneyeatthewatered-downbeerI’dhandedhim.Hetookasip, placed the mugonthe counter, and surveyed the roomlike all was rightwiththe world His stance seemed casual, butI wouldneverunderestimatehimagain.Hewasprobablyfilingawayinformationabouteachpersoninthebar.
Whilehewaspreoccupiedwiththegameofpoolthatwasgoingon,Igrabbedaragandscrubbedthecounter Notthatany amountofscrubbingcould erase the factthatyears ofwear and tear, countless beer spills, and more thana few brawls had marredthesurface.Thewoodwasgougedandscarredtothepointitsonlypurposeshouldbeasfirewood.
Benpicked up his mugand drank His Adam’s apple bobbed inhis throat He had a thickneck, one perfectfor grabbing withoutneedingtobe toocareful.His lips were plumpandtinteda pale pinkhue.The beginnings ofa five-o’clockshadow gracedhis jawline, addinga touchofroughness to his otherwise clean-cutappearance, givingthe impressionthatthere was moretothisGoody-Twoshoescopwhocouldn’tbebought.
So,thiswaswhatMasonhadwantedinaman?Thecopwasgoodlookingenoughwithanhonestboy-next-doorface Hehad anicebodytoo builtlikeatank.Wouldhehaveasix-packunderthatjacket,orwouldhebesoftaroundthemiddle? “Youmissedaspot.”
Iblinked Howlonghadhebeenwatchingmewatchhim?Istraightenedupfromthecounter “ThoughtItoldyouI’dkeepintouchifIhadanythingtoshare.”
“Justmakingsureyoudon’tforget”Heplacedhisforearmsonthecounter “Sotellme,Gunner,doyoureallyhavenothing tosay?”
Iclenchedmyteeth.“Youdon’twantmetotellyouwhat’sgoingthroughmymind.” “I’mnotsuckingyourdickforthelist.”
Thathadbeenthefarthestthingfrommymind,butsincehebroughtitup “Thenyoumustnotwantthelistbadlyenough. Whatapity”
“YouknowIcanhaveawarrantbytomorrowmorningtohandovertherecords,right?”
Ichuckled “Presumingwehaverecords”
Hislipstwitchedasifhewasbitingbackwhathewantedtosay.“Whyareyoumakingthissodifficult?” “Tellme.Iftherewasalist,andI’mnotsayingthereis,whatwouldyoudowithit?” Hefellsilent,buthimreachingforthebeermugwasalltheconfirmationIneeded. “Exactly,”Isaid.“Thesemenhavemadetheclubtheirhome.Astheirpresident,Iamultimatelyresponsiblefortheirsafety. Iwon’tjusthandovertheirinformationtothecops Thatwouldbebetrayingthem Canyouseethatgoingdownwellwiththe othersifIfuckthemover?”
“You’drathercoverupforyourmenthanobeythelaw?”
“That’sastupidquestion,andyouknow.”
“AndI’msupposedtoadmireyourloyaltytoyourbrothers?”
“Whogivesafuckwhatyouthink,Witter?I’velivedbythecodeoftheclubforalmostthreedecades It’sgoingtotakemore thanlukewarmbeggingfromyoutohavemebetraymybrothers.Alotmore.”
“Thisdoesn’thaveanythingtodowithprotectingyourbrothers,doesit?”Witterbitout “Youjustdon’twanttohelpme It’s me.I’mtheoneyouhavebeefwith.”
Fuck,Ineededtostoptalking Hewasalreadypickingupontoomuch “You’renotthatspecial Copswhostartthinkingthey canchangetheworldarenotasscarceaspeoplethink,buteventuallytheworld thejob changesthem.”
Aboisterousgroupofsixmen constructionworkersIwasfamiliarwith ambledtowardthebar.Therushhourwasabout tostart,whichwasagoodenoughexcusetoignoreWitter
“Gunner,heardyourclub’srecruiting,”astoutmanwithablackseptumpinchersaid. “Yeah,butwealreadyhaveenoughuglymugsaround,Ace,sofeelfreenottoapply.”
Ipouredthemtheirpoison,constantlyawareofWitterdespiteignoringhim Couldn’thetakeahint?Whenhesignaledme,I threwtheragIusedtowipedownthecounterovermyshoulderandwalkedover.
“It’sonthehouse,”Isaid “Youmightwanttogetoutofherebeforethingsturnugly” “Actually,sinceyou’repaying,I’dlikeanothermug,butmakeitthegoodstuffthistime,notthatwatered-downpissyougave mebefore”
“It’dbeyourhonortodrinkmypiss.”
Justasexpected,thelookofdisgustwasbackashenarrowedhiseyestoslitsandcurledhislipsintoasneer.Themorehe despisedme,themoreIwantedtopushhim,toseehimlosecontrolandfindoutwhotherealWitterwas ThemanMasonhad knownandwanted.
“Youknowwhat,Gunner?”Heleanedacrossthecounter “Thispreoccupationyouhavewithmeandsexmakesmewonder ifyou’rereallyhomophobic,oristhatyourwayofnotlettinganyonefindoutyouswingbothways?”
Ididn’tblinkaneye “Therearedifferentreasonswhymenlikemefuck”Istareddirectlyintohiseyesandinchedforward somemore,eatingupmuchofthespacebetweenusasIloweredmyvoice.“Imayliketoholdamandownandfuckhimwithin aninchofhislife.Doesn’tmeanI’mintomen.JustmeansIliketotakethethingsthattheythinkmakethempowerfulandcrush thembeneathme IfyoukeeppursuingmelikethisandshowingupeverywhereIam,I’mgoingtotakeitasachallenge,andI’ll havetoshowyouwho’sreallyincharge.”
Theblueinhiseyeschanged,turningadarkerhue I’dneverseenanythingquitelikeitbefore Toostunned,Icouldn’tlook away.
“Thisguybotheringyou,prez?”TangoappearednexttoWitter,flankedbyMouseandZero,whoeveryonesuspectedMouse wasfucking.Theywerewaytoocloseinsuchashorttime.
IglancedfromTangotoWitter.“Yeah.Gethimthefuckoutofhere.” “Canwepermanentlydisposeofhim?”Tangoguffawed They’dsurroundedWitter,whogottohisfeetcautiously “Maybe that’s not a good idea, boys. After all, he’s not just a common cop. He’s the acting chief of police.” My voice drippedwithenoughsarcasmforthemtoknowIdidn’tgiveafuckaboutWitter’shigh-rankingposition
“Gunner,yousonofabitch!”Witterscowledastheygrabbedhisarms.“Ijustcameheretotalk.” “I’lltalkwhenI’mreadyandnotwhenyousay.”
Itookup a bottle ofvodka and poured myselfa shot. Knockingitbackonlyfed mycravingfor more. Iswore under my breath.ThelasttimeIbecameadrunk,I’dfuckeduptheclub,butI’dbeentryingtostayawayfromthehardstuff.Ofcourse, he woulddrivemetodrink
Witterstruggledagainstthebikers.Hadtherebeentwoofthem,hepossiblycouldhavegottenoutofthehold,butwiththree, hewastrapped Hiseyeslockedontomine,rageshimmeringintheirdepths,asthethreebikersmuscledhimtowardtheexit “Youwon’tgetridofmesoeasily,Gunner,”heshouted.
ThedoorslammedshutbehindWitter,followedbythesickeningthudofafisthittingfleshandagruntofpain. Iwinced MaybeIshouldn’thaveinstigatedthisfight?AsBloodHounds,wewereknownforourbrutalityandbeingquick touseourfists.Thosebikerswouldthinknothingofbeatingtheshitoutofacop.Thepolicechief,evenworse. Whatiftheywenttoofar?
Myguttwistedintoanunfamiliar feeling,andIbusiedmyselfatthebar torefrainfromgoingoutsidetocheck.Theywere takingwaytoolongtoforceWitteroffmyproperty
Thedoor opened,butIswallowedmysighofreliefwhenaleggyplatinum-blondeentered.Ifrowned.Iwasn’tconcerned aboutWitter.Ididn’tgiveashitabouttheguy.Ifmymenwenttoofar,though,hemightpresschargesagainstthem.
Not if he still wants my help
“Candace,you’relate!”Isnapped.
“Sorry,boss Itwon’thappenagain”Shepoppedthegumshewaschewingloudly,grinned,andslippedbehindthebar She sauntereduptomeandpressedherhandsagainstmypecs,scrapingherlongcoffinnailsdownmychest.“Wantmetomakeit uptoyou?”
Normally,I’dtakeheruponheroffer.Hell,I’dfuckedherrightherebehindthebarmorethanoncewhiletheotherslooked on,butforsomereason,herofferpissedmeofftonight.
“Youcan’talwaysrelyonwhat’sbetweenyourlegstogetyououtoftrouble”Igrabbedherhandsanddroppedthem “Get towork.”
“Geez,it’snotmyfaultyourguysaregettingtheirassesbeat” Sheflouncedofftotheotherendofthebar,butIputmyhandonhershoulder,haltingher.“What’dyousay?”
The door opened again. Tango and his two sidekicks came in, clutching different parts of their bodies. Mouse had the beginningsofafatlip.Zerowaswalkingfunny,andithadnothingtodowithMouse’scockbeinguphisass.
“Youstillwantmetospellitoutforyou?”Candaceasked.
Igaveherahardshake.“Watchyourmouth.Yousassmelikethatagain,don’tbothershowinguphere.”
Shepaledandreachedforme,butIwalkedoutfrombehindthebar.Shemightbealazyflirtwhofounditeasiertouseher bodythantowork,butshehadaprettyfaceandanicefigurethatdrewmentothebar Thecounterwasalreadyfillingup “Ihopethismeanshelooksworse,”IaskedTango,whohadcollapsedintoabooth.Hewaswheezinghard.
“Hecaughtusoffguard,”hesaid,scowling “Didn’tknowhecouldmovelikethat” “Don’tworry,prez.”Mouserubbedhischeek.“Don’tthinkyou’llbeseeinghimnomore.”
“Whatifhechargesus?”Zeroasked,eyebrowsknittedinworry “He’sthepolice”
“Hewon’t,”Isaid.“I’llseetoithedoesn’t.Youthree,stickaroundandensuretheplaceisguardedandthatCandacedoes herfuckingjob.”
“Iheardthat!”sheyelledacrosstheroom “Good.”
Ikeptmypacecasual asIwalkedoutofthebar Ineededtocheckuponhow tonight’sdrugshipmentwent Thatwasall WhetherornotWitterhadmadeitoutoftheparkinglotsafelyhadnothingtodowithme.
Droplets ofblooddecoratedtheconcrete Ifollowedthetrail tomybikewherealate-model blueFordtruckwas parked Betweenthevehicles,afiguresatontheground,ahandkerchiefpressedtotheir nose.Iremovedmyphonefrommypocket, turnedontheflashlight,andaimeditathim.
Witter shielded his eyes fromthe brightlight They’d gottenhimgood a few times inthe face Bymorning, he would be sportingablackeyeandafatlip.Hehadanarmwrappedaroundhismiddle.
“Needaridetotheemergencyroom?”Iasked
Hedidn’tevenraisehishead.“Fuckyou.”Hecoughed,whichendedinagroan.“Youknewwhatyouweredoingwhenyou remindedthemwhoIwas.”
Ireached inside mypants for mypackofcigarettes and shookone out. “Don’tknow whatyou’re talkingabout.” Ilitthe cigarette and took a long drag. Now that felt fucking good. Maybe I couldn’t drink as much as I wanted, but I still had destroyingmylungstofallbackon “Youheardmetellthemexplicitlynottohurtyou,consideringwhoyouare” “Don’tbullshitme.Youmightnothavesaidit,butthat’swhatyoumeant.”
Hepushedhimselfuptostandandheldontothesideofhistruckforsupport “Goodluckprovingthatincourt.”
“I’llhavethosethreebuffoonsarrestedunlessyouhavethelistonmydeskwithinforty-eighthours.FromwhatIoverheard tonightaboutrecruitment,youcan’taffordtolosemoremembers,letalonethreeofyourbest,I’dassume,right?”
“Thiswhyyoucameheretonight?Tofindabargainingchip?”
“Iwouldn’tneedtobehereatallifyouwouldcooperate”
“Ithoughtyoudidn’tbelieveIhadarecordofmembership.”
“I’msureyou,asthepresident,cancomeupwithalist”Thealarmtohistruckdisengaged,andthedoorsunlocked “I’llsee youinforty-eighthours,then.”
Hemovedtoopenthedoor,butIblockedhimwithmyarm.“Itgoesbothways.Youbringmyguysinforwhat’snothingbuta littlemisunderstanding,andIdon’tshareanythingwithyou”
“Youhaven’tsharedanythingusefulwithme.”
Igrittedmyteeth “Becausethere’snothingtotellyet”DidhethinkIwouldhaveinformationthatwouldleadtothearrestof thosesellingthekidsandnotshareit?
“Let’ssayIbelievethat Doesthatmeanwhenyouhaveusefulinformation,youwillpassiton?” “Thatdepends.”
“Onwhat?”
“Nothingyouneedtoknowrightnow Getintoyourtruckandgo Weseeyourfacearoundherewhenyou’renotinvitedand ”
“Andwhat?You’llhavemebeatenupagain?”
Ipunchedhiminthegutsoquicklyhedidn’thavetimetododgetheblow.Ithithimrightinthesamespothe’dbeenfavoring. Doubledover,Witterdryheaved “You scum ” “Don’tforgetit.”
Ihoppedontomygirlandrodeaway,sprayinghimwithloosedirt.Ifonlyitmademefeelbetter.
Today, Ben talked about a future together I wish I could give him an answer, but I don't even know where I'll be sleeping tonight hiefWitter,doyouhaveaminute?”
I swallowed my groan and turned slowly with a smile I was far fromfeeling as I faced the man heading in my direction I’d beentryingto leave the citycouncil meetingquietlyinstead ofstoppingto chatlike Iused to Withno furtherdetailstoprovideonthebabyfarmcase,I’dpreferredtoslinkawaywithmytailtuckedbetweenmylegsratherthanto keeprepeatingIhadnothingnew toshare.ThenIhadtodeal withthedisappointmentlingeringintheireyesandthewordsI knewtheywhisperedbehindmybackthatIwasincompetentasanactingchief Ididn’tblame them. Some days IreallyfeltIwas incompetent. WithoutMasonto ground me, Ihad no one to lookto for guidance He’dalwaysknownwhattosayanddowhenIwasoverthinking “Mayor Getty.” Ioffered myhand. “Ienjoyed your presentationonthe upcominginfrastructural developments for the city. Thenewpublicparkandrevampedtransitsystemsoundlikegreatinitiatives”
Heshookmyhandbriefly,thendroppedit.“Isthatwhyyou’reinahastetoleavesoquicklytoday?” “Sorryaboutthat,butIhavealotonmydesktotackle.Justwantedtogetstartedonit.”
Hepattedmyshoulder “Beatease Walkmetomycar”
We moved past clusters ofpeople engaged inpostmeetingchatter. Their laughter and earnest conversations were at odds withmyinternalturmoil Themayordidn’tstopbutgaveabriefnodhereandasmiletheretoacknowledgecityemployeesand localreportersaswemadeourwaytotheparkinglot.Iwasn’ttheonlyonebeatingahastyretreatfromthemeeting,then. The silence betweenus stretched thin, and Ialmostbroke itto apologize for beinguseless atthe case Iwas overseeing. I held mytongue. Mason’s voice echoed inside myhead to always seemconfident, evenwhenwe had no clue whatwe were doing.
“It’s our duty to keep order,” Mason had said to me “And sometimes that means giving false hopes and pretending everythingwillbefineandhopelikehellthat’strue.”
WhenwereachedMayorGetty’scar,asleek,blacksedanthatstoodoutamongtheothercars,heturnedtome “ChiefWitter, Iunderstandthesearetryingtimesandyouareunderalotofpressurefromthepeopleandthepresstogivethemanswerson the baby farming. No one wants to get those criminals responsible more than me. You understand this case might directly impactmebeingreelectedforanotherterm?”
“Yes,sir,Ido,andI’mdoingeverythingwithinmypowertogettothebottomofthis.”
“DoyouhaveanyevidencetosuggestthattheperpetratorshaveremainedinSmokyVale?” “Nothingconcrete.”
“Thenmaybeit’sbesttofocusonothersolvablecasestoboostthemoraleofthecommunity Themorewelamentthelackof closureonthiscase,themorecriticalthepublicbecomesofusandourinabilitytosolvecrimes.Whydon’twehighlightthe differentareaswherewehaveshownourstrengths?”
“Iunderstand,Mr Mayor Thedepartmentshavebeenworkingtirelesslyonothercases It’sjustthatweneedtofindthese people.There’snotellinghowmanyvictimsareoutthere.Howmanychildrenhavetheyalreadysoldandwhathasbecomeof them?”
“Hmm,thisisanewpositionforyou.Ipresumeclosingthiscasewillmeanalotforyourcareer,andIcanappreciatethis.” Hegavemeanod “Byallmeans,sparenoresourcesinfindingthoseresponsible Youhavemyfullsupportonthis Frankly speaking,ifyoucomeoutofthislookinggood,sodoI.”
Reliefcoursedthroughme,andthetensioneasedfrommyshoulders.Foraminute,I’dthoughthewouldhaveinsistedonme shovingthecasetothebottomofourcasepileandfocusingonmoreeasilysolvedcrimesothedepartmentwouldlookgood
Our faceinthecommunitywas importantbutnotmoresothansolvingthesecases.Thedifficultones neededattentiontoo evenmoreso despitetheresourcestheytook.
“Thankyou,Mr Mayor Yoursupportmeansalot”
He patted myshoulder, thengotinto his car. Iwaited for himto drive offbefore Iwentto mytruck, mysteps lighter. His approval had boosted mymorale Gunner had less thantwelve hours to complyand give me his list Filingcharges against thosethreemenwho’doustedmefromthebarwouldshowhimhowseriousIwas.
“ChiefWitter”Awomanhurrieduptome,battlingherdressagainstthestronggustofwind “I’mJanetwiththeSmokyVale Star,andIhaveafewquestionsaboutthebabyfarmcase.”
“Whenwehavemoreinformationtosharewiththepublic,we’llorganizeapressrelease,”Isaidinaclippedtone.“Havea niceday”
Shefollowedme,butIignoredherandgotintomycar.AsIdroveoutoftheparkinglot,shewasstandinginthesamespot, lookingfurious Handlingthe press had beena part of mytrainingbefore I tookover this positionafter Masondied, but I loathedtalkingtothemallthesame.Theyhadawayoftwistingwordsandmakingittheirown.IavoidedtheSmokyValeStar unless it was necessary ComparingMason’s leadership and mine was a habit oftheirs that annoyed me Apparently, Chief Dehaneyhadn’tbeenafraidtointeractwiththepressandhadgiventhemmorethanIdid.
Onthewaybacktothepolicestation,Istoppedforalatebreakfast.I’dbeentooqueasythismorningtoeat.Withthepaper bagoffries and double cheeseburger inhand and a large grape soda inthe other, Iwalked throughthe doors ofthe police station,holdingmytonguewhentheofficerwhoprecededmeletthedoorswingback,almosthittingmeintheface.
Thechatterquietedtoaquiethum,andheadslowered HowcouldInotsensehowdifferenteverythingwas?WhenMason hadbeenchief,hisverypresencewouldfueltheconversationsintheroom.Strictashewas,he’dbeenwellloved.Hislegacy nowcastashadowIdidn’tseemcapableofescaping.
Maybe I should resign.
Witha sigh, Iheaded for myoffice mysanctuaryand the onlyplace where Icould breathe, think, and be myselfwithin these walls The rest of the building seemed to be for them I tried not to invade other areas so they wouldn’t feel uncomfortableatwork,whichmeantIconfinedmyselftomyoffice.Probablynotthebestwaytobuildarapportwithmystaff, butIwasnevergoodwiththateasygoingbanterMasonwasknownfor
WhenI’d justassumed the position, I’d organized mixers thatonlya handful ofpeople attended. Happyhours were never trulyhappy,soI’dstopped.
Theofficedoorstoodajar.Ifrowned.Hadsomeoneenteredwithoutmypermission?
AsIpushedthedooropen,Ifroze.Casuallysittinginmychairwithapairofwell-wornblackmotorcyclebootsproppedup onthedesklikeheownedtheplacewasthebikerwhowasresponsibleforthefadedbruisesIstillwore He’dtiltedthechair backand lowered it so he was ina recliningposition, clutchingthe canof cashew nuts I kept onmydeskfor whenever I neededsomethingtomunchon Onecashewflewupward,missedhismouth,andlandedsomewhereonthefloor “Fuck,Ireallysuckatthis.”Heshookahandful ofnuts intohis handandstuffedthemintohis mouth.“Doyouknow how expensivethisshitis?Hopeyoudon’tmindmetakingsome.”
“Whatthehellareyoudoinghere?”Ibarked,slammingthedoorshutbehindme “ItoldyouI’dgetintouchifIhadsomethingtoshare.”Bitsofcashew nutsflew fromhismouth.Imightneverhavemeta moredisgustingmaninmylife “Sotreadlightly,orImightnotshareatall” Iinhaleddeeplyandletoutthebreathslowly.
“That’sit Takedeepbreaths”
Justlikethatmybloodpressurespiked.“Howdidyougetintomyoffice?”Iaskedthroughgrittedteeth. Iflewovertothedesk,placedthebagandsodadown,andscoopedupthefileI’dleftoutbeforeIwenttothemeeting.Heart poundinginmychest,Iheldthefileinmyhand SinceIstartedinthispolicedepartment,I’dcreatedOperationIronCircle It containedalltheinformationI’dgatheredontheGrimmReapersandtheBloodHounds.Hadhesnoopedthroughit?
“InterestingstuffyouhaveontheGrimmReapers,”hesaid “Ithoughtyouwereclosetothepresident’sboyfriend Doeshe knowyou’retargetinghispartner’sclub?”
Dreadfilledmystomach Iswalloweddownthebilerisinginmythroat “Howdidyougetinhere?” “Relax.It’snotlikeIbrokethewindowandletmyselfin.”
Iglancedatthesinglewindowintheroom.Hewastoobroadtofitthrough,whichmeant… “Oneofmyofficersletyouinhere?”
Heshrugged.“IinformedthemIhadurgentnewstosharewiththeactingchief,andtheytoldmeIwasfreetowaitforyou insideyouroffice Imustsay,Witter,yourstaffdoesn’tseemtolikeyou Whyelsewouldtheyhaveletmeinherewhenthey knowwhoIam?”
“Iamnotheretobeliked.”
Istalkedovertothefilecabinet,unlockedit,andjammedthefileintothefront,notcheckingitwasinitsrightfulplace.A slurpingsoundechoedbehindme.Gunnerwasguzzlingdownmygrapesoda.
“Ah,” he said. “How refreshing, thoughthat’s a lotofsugar onthe job, don’tyouthink? Mustbe some fatunderneaththat uniformofyours.”
“Getoutofmychair!”Ithundered,notcaringifthewholeofficeheardme “Youhavenorightbargingintomyofficewhen I’mnothere.”
AsifIhadn’tspoken,Gunnergrabbedthepaperbaganddugupahandfuloffries “Ijustfollowedinstructions Youhavea problemwithmebeinghere,takeitupwithyourstaff.TheytoldmeIcouldwaithere.”Hegesturedatthebag.“Soda,fries, burger?Thishowyoueateveryday?That’ssomeunhealthyshitrightthere” Deargod,afterenforcingthelawforthepasteighteenyears,Iwasabouttocommitmyfirstmurder. “Nowwaitonedamnminute.”Gunnerjumpedtohisfeetasthoughsensinghewasasecondawayfromdeath.“You’dbetter directthatangerrightfully Howisitmyfaulttheyletmein?Ithinkthat’sabiggerproblemthanme” Iloathedhowrighthewas.Howcouldtheyhaveescortedhimintomyofficeandlefthimalone?Theyweren’tevenhiding howlittleregardtheyhadformeanymore “Whyareyouhere?Doyouhavethelist?”
Gunnerheldupafinger “Onesecond”Hetookmyburgerfromthepaperbag,unwrappedit,andtookabite “Hmm”His moanwasofdeepsatisfaction,seemingtoripplethroughme.“Youdon’tmindmehavinganotherbite,doyou?” Withoutaword,Iwaitedoutallthispettinessandchildishbehavior.Whenhe’dconsumedallbutasinglebite,hewrapped itupanddroppeditintothepaperbag Hetookanotherlongslurpofthedrinkthatendedwithaloudburp “’Cuseme.”Hepattedhisstomach.“You’vebeenanamazinghost.”
“The list” How I managed to make my voice neutral when all I wanted was to throttle himwas beyond me We were basicallythesameheight,butIwasalittlewiderintheshoulders. Icouldtakehim.
“LikeIsaid,Ican’tgiveyoualist.”Ireachedformyholster. “ButIhaveaname.”
Idroppedmyhand
Hegrinned.“Gotyourattentionnow,didI?”
“Look,youprick Iknow allthisbullshittingyou’vebeendoingistogetbackatmeforpickingyouupyearsago Youcan takeitoutonmeallyouwant,butIwon’tplayyourgamewhenitcomestothiscase.Toomanylivesareatrisk.Thelonger youfuckaround,themorelikelyonemorechildisbeingsold.”
Gunnerwalkedaroundmydeskandperchedhisassontheedge.“Youhavethenicestwaytoaskforsomethingwhilecalling menames.”
“Callingyounames?”Ilaughed “PrickistheleastofthethingsIwouldliketocallyou” “By all means, call me them.” He walked past me, deliberately putting very little distance between us so our shoulders bumped “Pickmeupattheclubatninetonight”Hemarchedtothedoor “Wait.Youstillhaven’tgivenmeaname.”
“So youcanbe done withme? Well, I’mnotthroughwithyouyet, Witter. Pickme up like Isaid, and I’ll take youto the source”
Gunnerclosedthedoorbehindhim.Ismackedmyfistintothepalmofmyotherhand,overandover,until thefleshturned numb IimaginedmypalmasGunner’sfaceandwhatIwantedtodotoit,butIwouldhavetowaituntil Igotanswersfrom him.AndwhenIhadnomoreuseforhim,hewouldwishhe’dnevermetme.
Mystomachgrumbled,andIstaredatthecupandbag Ididn’thavethetimetogobackoutandgetanythingtoeat Fuckhim.
Ireadjustedmychairandshiftedtheitemshe’dmovedaroundonmydesk.Cashewnutswerescatteredonthefloor.Ipicked themupandthrewthemintothebin ThepapercupstillhadsomesodainitdespiteGunner’slongslurps Heprobablythought IwouldbesodisgustedbyhimIwouldthrowitallout.DidhereallythinkIwasthatsimple?
Iatethebitofburgerhehadleft,butitdidn’tsatisfymyhunger Isettledmylipsaroundthestrawandtookalongdrink As theliquidcooledmythroat,animageflashedthroughmymindofGunner’slipsonthestraw,suckingandsucking.
Disgusted, Ipushed the cup away, hita buttononmycomputer to turniton, and opened myemail Myanger burned once moreasItypedoutamemoandsentittoeveryoneinthedepartmentthatwehadanemergencymeetinginfifteenminutes.What they’ddonetodaywasirresponsibleanddangerous,andIwouldmakeanexampleofthosewhoweredirectlyinvolved.
