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ChapterOne Bailey Woodenstoolsbuttupagainstabrassfootrailatahighcounter.ATVisaffixedtothewallanda footballgameissetwithoutthesound.Thereâsnosmokingallowed,butthescentofcigarettesandcigarsfromdaysgoneby lingersintheairwiththebeerthatâsontap Mulletstandsbehindthecounterservingdrinks Isupposehehasaârealname,âbut everyoneintowncallshimMulletbecauseoftheKentuckywaterfallhesportsunderhishuntingcap.
âAnothershot?âHenodstowardme,andIgivehimtheokay Itâsonlymysecond,butIâmalreadyfeelingbuzzed Whiskeydoesthattome.
Heslidesafreshglasstowardme,andIshootbackthegulpandaskforanother.
âDamn,girl.Breakupordeaddog?âThemannexttomepassesMulletatwenty-dollarbill.âHerdrinkisonme,and Iâllhavethesame.â
âGuessIshouldaskyouthesamequestionâ
Helaughsandstudiesmecloser.âHey,arenâtyouthatgamewarden?â
Iglancetowardthemanandsquintbeforesuckingdownmyfourthshot Ishouldstophere Tenminutesfromnow,Iâm goingtobeamess.âAndyouâreoneofthoseAlaskanswhoâvecometosaveusall.âMytoneissarcastic.âIfIâmhonest, youâreprettybraveforcomingtothebaronaFridaynight.Youârenotverylikedaroundhere.â
âOh,Ilikeachallenge.âHesmirks.âNameâsRowan,andIthoughtsmalltownsweresupposedtobenice.â
âWearenice!âIknowIâveseenhimuponthemountainsincetheygothere,buthelooksfamiliar.LikeIknowhimfrom somewhereelse,butIcanâtplaceit Maybethatâsthealcoholtalking ThereâsnowayIcouldknowthisguy Iâdremembera nearlyseven-foot-tallgiantwiththickarms,wideshoulders,andinkcoveringhisbody.Iscandowntohisbig,roughhands.Iâd rememberthosetoo
For a second, I wonder what it would be like to have them all over me.
Thishastobethealcoholtalking.Thereâsnothingattractiveaboutamanthatcomesintotownandtakesoverlikehe ownstheplace.Though,inhisdefense,hiswholefamilyisthesameway.
Iglanceaway,willingawaytheachethatâsgrowingbetweenmylegs. I need help. IalwaysgethornywhenIâmdrunk, andRowanlookslikethekindofguyyoudonâtwanttomessaroundwith ifIwereeventhemessingaroundtype,whichIâm not.Hell,thereasonIâmhereisbecauseIâmnotthemessingaroundtype.
Though, maybe itâs time that era ended Ishakemyheadinanattempttogathersomesense,butanimageofthegiantAlaskanbendingmeoverthebarflashes intomymind.
Okay,nomoreshots Iâmofficiallygone
âPeopleheredonâtseemthatnicetome.MybrothersandIhavebeengettingshiteverywherewego.âHistoneislow andgraveled
Good Lord, heâs hot.
Ittakesmybrainasecondtocomprehendwhyheâssaidthis,consideringIâvelosteverythreadofourconversationand replaceditwithhimbendingmeoverthecounter,pullingmyhair,andsmackingmyass.
Finally,itdawnsonmethatheâstalkingabouthowpeopleintowndonâtlikehisfamily⌠I think âThatâsbecause youârecausingtroubleeverywhereyougo Thisisasleepytown Peoplelikeorderandkindness Welookoutforeachotherâ âAndyâallinvitedushere,soâŚâ
âSo?â
âSoâŚyoushouldtreatusbetter.â
âTreatyoubetter?Wewelcomedyouin,gaveyouacabintostayinfreeofcharge,andeveryoneIknowhasdroppedby withfoodandgiftstowelcomeyou.Howmuchbettercouldyoubetreated?âItwistmystooltowardhimwitheveryintention ofbeingangry,buthistattooshavemesalivatingbeforetheangerhasachancetoboilover.ThiswouldnâthappenifIwere sober
Myeyesscandownoverhisarm.Heâscoveredinsymbolsofsomesort,maybeViking.Itâshardtotellinthisdimlight. Partofmewantstorollupthesleevesonhisflannelandlookcloser,butIdivertmydrunkenstaretothetruckerhathewears thatâsfrayedalongthebrim.
Why did I have that last shot? Thismanisclearlyeonsolderthanme,heâsajerk,andheâsunlikedbyeveryoneIlove. Nopairofjeansoroversizedbicepscouldmakeupforthat.
âYouâvebeensendingthreatsthrougheveryoneyouknow.âHelaughsunderhisbreath.
âSo,isthatwhyyouârehere?Yourfamilysentyoutotakemedown?BecauseIâmdoingmyjob,Mr Laskin Thatâsall Andrightnow,Iâmhavinganendoftheweekdrink.So,ifyouâllexcuseme.âIturnaway,butthemancontinues.
âMorelikeendoftheweekdrinks andno,youârenotdoingyourjob Yourjobistowardenthehunters Weârehereto
savethetownfromamenacingbear.Weareallowedadvantages.â
Ilaughandspinoffmystool,standinginfrontofhim.Evenwhilehesits,heâsbiggerthanmestanding.âMr.Laskin,I appreciateyourdedicationtobullshit,butIplantoannoythehelloutofyouandyourfamilyuntilyoufollowtherulesofthe hunt.â
âWhenananimalbecomesamenace,allmeansnecessaryshouldbeusedtotakehimdown Thatbearcouldâvekilled someoneatthelodgeonNewYear'sEve.â
Ihitchmyhipandlayintothesarcasm âSomeoneleftthedoorcrackedtothekitchenandthe bear,wholikesto eat, cametogetsome food.Itâsabear.Itdidnâtgettherulebookonwhatfoodwasacceptabletoeatandwhatwasnât.â
Rowanstands,toweringoverme.Lord,hesmellsgood,likeheâsrolledinpineandcedar.âRight,âhegrins,âandI supposehedidnâtgetthememoaboutrunningintotraffic,messingaroundinthetrash,orthatcarhebrokeintolastweekend in broad daylight. Therewerechildrenplayinginthearea.Whatwouldyoufeelifsomethinghappenedtooneofthem?â
Ihuffandrollmyeyes âYouknowthatwouldbeterrible AllIâmaskingisthatyoustayonthewestsideofthemountain andcapturehim.Thatâswhywecalledyouguys.Youâresupposedtobeexpertbeartrappers.â
Hecloseshiseyesandblowsoutaheavybreathbeforelookingtowardmeagain âForthehundredthtime,weneed accesstotheentiremountain.Youdonâtgoverneverything.Thelandownersdo.â
Iknowheâsrightaboutsomeofthat.âIcanâtimagineanyoneintownisgivingyoupermissiontohuntontheirproperty.â
âPeopleintownwantusgone,soweâregettingalotmorecooperationthanyouâdthink Dadthinkshehasthebear trackedovertotheKellerproperty.Ifwecanlurehimoutofthecavesupthere,weshouldbegoodtogo,andweâllbeoutof yourhairinnotime Whatbonedoyouhavetopickwithusdoingourjobonprivateproperty,anyway?â
Ilaughundermybreathandstandfrommystool.âYouknowwhotheKellersare,right?â
âSofar,theyâvebeenthemosthospitablefolksintown.â
âYeah,well,IâdrethinkthatifIwereyou.ThomasKelleristhefatherofJuneâŚthegirlyourbrotherhasbeencreeping on.Besides,areyousurethetrackingevidenceisreal?IcouldseeMr.Kellerasthekindofguywhoâdmesswithallofyou. Youknow,huntingaccidentshappenallthetime Privatelandisagoodplacetoteachabunchofoutoftownerswhoare messingwithhisdaughteralesson.â
Rowanshakeshishead âYouârecrazy Juneisanicegirl,andmybrotherlikesher Thatâsall AndMr Kellerisan honestfarmerwhodoesnâtwantaneight-hundred-poundgrizzlyonhispropertythreateninghisanimals.Theend.Youshould reallygethomeandsoberup.Youârestartingtosoundlikeoneofthoseconspiracytheorists.â
Ihuffoutaheavybreath.âWhateveryousay.Justtryingtohelp.Iâvelivedupheremywholelife.Iknowthesepeople likethebackofmyhand.â
Hestaresdownatmewithdarkbrowneyesandahalfsmile Iwanttoslapitoffhisfaceandtastehimallatonce
âThanksforthehelp,princess.Weâvegotthiscovered.Alaskansaresomeofthemostprivatepeopleontheplanet.Ican readaroomâ
Ifhecouldreallyreadaroom,heâdknowhowbadlyIneededhimtotouchmerightnow.
âDonâtcallmeprincess.â
âQueenie?â Helaughs
âHowaboutyoucallmeBailey,consideringthatâs my name? Betteryet,callmeMs.Barone.â
âBarone? Thatâsmybuddyâslastname Maybeyouknowhim Heâsacopintown GenoBaroneâ Myheartswellsandsinkstothebottomofmystomach.âYourbuddy?GenoBaroneisyourbuddy?â
âOneofmybestbuddies Wegowayback HeusedtobringhisfamilyouttoAlaskaforbiggamehuntingbeforehetook apositionouthere.Turnsout,smalltowncopsdonâtgetmuchofabreak.â
âWhat?Whydidnâtyouevervisit?â
Rowan'sheavybrowswrinkle âPersonalinvestment?Youknowthisguy?â Iblowoutaheavybreath.âHeâsâŚmyfather.â
Rowanâsfacecontortsintovariousshapesbeforehefinallyspeaks âYour father? HowisGenoyourfather?Iâd rememberyou.â
âYeah Well itâsreallynotimportant,isit?MyfatherisapoliceofficerintownandIâmthelocalgamewarden So youâredoingthishuntbymyrules,Mr.Laskin.âIgrabmyjacketoffthehookbeneaththebarandpullitovermyshoulders. âTheend.â
Iturnandwalktowardthedoor,desperatetoscrubthismanfromeveryfantasyIâvebeenhaving Heholdsmebymyarm.âWhatâsthisreallyabout?â
Thisisreallyaboutalotofthings,butIdonâtsayanyofthem Instead,Ilaughandpullmyarmawayfromhisgrip Hestaresatmeasthoughheâsuncoveringtheyearsandtryingtoplacethetruth.âFuck!Yougrewupfast.â
âOkayâŚâIwavegoodbyetoMulletbeforeglancingbackatRowan.âIâllbeintouch.â
Hisweightcomesupbehindme,butIkeepwalkingthroughthebar,twistingsidewaystoavoidpeopleasImakemy waytowardthefrontdoor.Hotornot,Icanâtwantamanwhoâsfriendswithmyfather,especiallyamanwhojustnotedhow
fastIgrewup.
Gross!
Thenagain,wouldmyfatherhavetoknowifwespentasinglenighttogether?Rowanistheperfectmantotakemy virginity.Heâsbig,rough,coveredinink,andheâsleavingtownthesecondthisbeariscaught.Thereâsnopressuretosayhito himonMainStreetwhenweârebothgrabbinggroceriesandweâllneverbumpintoeachotheratthediner
Mythighsache,andwhileItrytoconvincemyselfthatthisdoesnâtmakesense,thealcoholkeepsgivingmereasonsthat itcouldwork
JakeleftmebecauseIwouldnâtscrewhim.Iknowthatforafact.Hescreamedatmeandlistedoffmyprudishwaysfor metoabsorbearlierthisevening.Wespentmonthstogether,andIhadnodesiretotouchhim,letalonehavesex.Ithoughtthere wassomethingwrongwithmeuntilIgotheretonight,andRowansatnexttome MaybeIjustneededalcoholallalong Whiskeydoesmakemehorny.
Blah!I need to get a grip
Ipullopenthebardoorandagustofcoldwindblowsinwithit.Good.ThatâsjustwhatIneedtogetmyselfincheck.
âHoldup,âRowanâsdeepvoicecallsfrombehindme
Iturnbackinthedimlightofthenightandstareupathim.Heâssobig.Agoliath.Ahuge,inkedupmonsterofamanthat Iwanttotouchmeeverywhere.
Mybreathcatches,andthoughIâmrepeatingthewordâstopâinmyheadoverandover,Ileanupontomytoeslikethe feralgirlIamandkisshim.
Liponlip,Ikissthismanlikeawildheathenwhohasnorespectforrulesororder
Hisbighandslandonmyshouldersandthenmywaist.Heliftsmefromtheground,andIwraparoundhimashecarries metowardhistruck.Iâveneverbeenliftedsoeffortlesslyinmylife.
Myclitthrobsandmyhearthammers. What the hell is happening?
Ishouldwanthimtostop.Ishouldnâthavestarted.Heâsmydadâsfriend,heâsnotatallageappropriate,andheâsabout tomakeamessofthetownIlove
YethereIam,hopingwithallmyheartthatthismandoesbad,badthingstomyfatherâsdaughter.
ChapterTwo Rowan
âHowmuchhaveyouhadtodrink?âIstaretowardthewomaninblackwhoâsleaningagainsttheinsideofmytruckdoor likeshewantstodevourme.Thisisnâtsomethingthathappensregularly,soIâmnotsurehowtoreact.
âItdoesnâtmatter Touchme!âShesighsandgrabsmyhand,runningitoverhersmooththigh Fuck.
IliketothinkIâmagoodman,butrightnow,Iâdliketoignoreeveryrighteoussoundrattlingthroughmyheadandletmy handwanderupbetweenherlegs.
Igroanundermybreath.âOh,Iwantto,princess,butsomethingtellsmeyouâdregretallthatinthemorning.â
âNo,Iwouldnât.âSheslidesclosertomeandtucksundermyshoulder.âWedonâthavetotellanyone.Ijustwanttoget thisoutoftheway.âShesighsandleansagainstme.âYouknow,likeanostringsthing.Whatdopeoplecallit?â
âAone-nightstand?â
âYeah.Oneofthose.âShenuzzlesintomyneck.âItâsnobigdeal.Youâreleavingtownsoon,anyway.â
Thoughtsoftyingherlittlewriststothepostsinthebarnconjure,butIpushtheminfavorofsomethingless aggressive.âDoyouhavesomethinggoingon?Whyâdyoucomeouttonightandgetsodrunk?â
Shesnifflesandpushesawayafewtearsbeforeslidingovertotheothersideofthetruckbench.âNothing.â
âNothing?So,thisisnormalforyou?AroundherethegamewardenfortheareacomesintotownonFridays,gets loaded,andhitsonrandomguysuntilshecanâtstand?â
Sheglancestowardme,thenawayagain âWhatdoesitmatterifIdo?â
âItdoesnât,justwonderingifIâmspecialorifyoudothisontheregular?â
Hereyesroll âYouâdloveitifIsaidyouwerespecial,wouldnâtyou?â Ishrug.âKindof.â
âWell,youârenot.MystupidexcalledmeaprudethismorningandIâmdonewithit.YouârethefirstguyIsaw.â Ilaugh.âNottrue.Yousawlotsofguysatthatbar.Yousingledmeout.âMytoneisplayful,anditâsclearlypissingher off.Forsomereason,Iâmgettingoffalittleonthat.âWhyareyouaprude?â
Shedragsinadeepbreathandletsitoutslowly âIâmavirgin Anillusivetwenty-four-year-oldvirginâ Fuck. Iclearmythroat.âOkayâŚandwhatâŚyouweregoingtoseducemeintopoppingyourcherry?â
Hereyesroll âGod!Whosaysâpopping your cherry?âIâmgladIâmcomingtomysensesâ
âMetoo.Iâmnotthekindofguyyouwantdeflowering you.Iâmroughand â âUgh.Juststop. Deflowering? No.No.No.Iâmsorryforthis.Iâmgoingtocallforaride.â
âDonâtberidiculous Youârealreadyhere IâlltakeyouhomeâWhyamIalittlebummedthatIâvefuckedupthis imaginaryscenariowhereIslideintoBailey'stightlittlepussyforthefirsttime? Because Iâm sick, thatâs why.
SnowfallsheavyonthewindshieldasBaileyâsshoulderslower âActually,thatmightbenice Icanâtcallmyparents TheyâreoutoftownonananniversarytripuntiltomorrowandmyfriendRubyisbabysittingherniecetonight.God,thisis embarrassingâ
âWhatis?â
âThatIhavenofriends.â
Ibitebackasarcasticcommentonhowthatâsnotthemostembarrassingthingofthenight âWhereâsyourcabin?â
âUponEchoRidge.Itâsaboutanhourfromhere.âSheshiftshergazeoutthesidewindow.âAreyousureyoucould evendoit?Idonâtthinkwecouldbeonmoreoppositesidesofthemountainandthestormismovinginâ
âAreyousuggestingIleaveyouhere?â
Sheglancesoutthewindow âYeah,Iâllbefine Iâllfindsomeonegoingmyway Maybeheâlltakemypaymentâ
âKnockitoff.âIstartupthetruckandcranktheheatbeforeflickingonthewindshieldwipers.âBuckleup.Iâmnotgoing toleavemybuddy'sdaughterdrunkatthebartofendforaride.â
âSothatâswhatIamtoyou,yourbuddyâsdaughter?â
âShouldyoubemore?â
âIâmthegamewarden,âshelooksatthedashandbackagain,âwhoâsmadeacompleteidiotofherselftonightâ Iflickontheblinker,pulloutontoMainStreet,andintotheincomingstorm.âItcanbeoursecret.Besidesthat,everyone isallowedafreakoutatleastonceayear.Itwasyourturn.â
âItâsJanuary.IâmnotsureIcanholdinthecrazyforelevenmoremonths.â
âWell,yougotitoutofthewayearly.Thatâsapositive.Andbythesoundsofthings,youditchedsomedeadweight. Soundslikethisguyyouweredatingwasaloser Ifyoudidnâtwanttotouchhimafterthreemonths,thatâsasignthatthings werenâtheadedintherightdirection.â
âWhataboutyou?Ineedsomedirtylaundrytoevenoutthisconversationâ
âDonâthaveany.SqueakycleanAlaskanrighthere.â
âRight.Iâllbelievethat⌠never!Youâreagiant.Womenlovethat.Theymustbethrowingthemselvesatyouallthe timeâ
âLikeyoudid?âIlaugh.
âAgain,whyamItalking?â
âDidyounotthrowyourselfonme?âSnowfallsheavierasIdriveupthemountain.Thisstormiscominginfast.
âIâmdrunk,soitâsdifferentâ
âDifferenthow?â
âDifferentinthesensethatallmyreasoningisclouded, obviously Anyway,youweresaying.â Ihuffoutaheavysigh âWomendonâtthrowthemselvesatme Infact,youârethefirsttodothatâ
Shenarrowsherbrows.âYouknow,mymotheralwaystaughtmethatliarsgettheirmouthswashedoutwithsoap.Isthat whatyouwant?â
âItâstrue.Womenstopandlook,buttheydonâtapproachme.â
Shegrins âSo youâregoingwiththeintimidationangle Interesting Thatmustbesohardtobestaredatforbeingbig andhandsome.Iwouldnâtknowwhatthatâslike.â
âYouwanttobestaredatforbeingbigandhandsome?â
âHa HaâShestaresatmeandrollshereyes âNo,butbeingstaredatalittlewouldbeniceâ Igrin.âIwasstaringatyouwhenIcameinâŚbeforeIrealizedyouwerethegamewarden.â
Sheglancestowardme âWhateverâ
âIwas.âIgrin.âYouâreworthasecondglance.â
âThatâssuper.ThanktheLordIâmworthasecondglance.â
Icanâthelpbutlaugh.âIsnâtthatwhatyouwantedtohear?â
âSo,youâresimplytellingmewhatIwanttohear?â
IcanfeelmyeyesgrowingwideandmynostrilsflaringasIsay,âThisiswhyIstayawayfromwomenâ âAsecondago,thewomenwerestayingawayfromyou.Whichisit?â
Iglancetowardher,thenbackatthesnowyroadthatâscurvingupthemountain IgrewupinnorthernAlaska Iâmused toshitroads,butthisstormisputtingupaprettygoodfight.âEnoughaboutme.Tellmemoreaboutthisvirginthing.Whatmade youdecidetosaveyourself?â
Shescoffsatmyquestionandcrossesherarmsoverherchest.âWell,Iâmstupidforone.â âWhat?No,youârenot.ItâsâŚadmirable.â
âAdmirable?â Sheglancestowardme,andthoughIcanâtlookback,Ifeeltheheatofherstareonmyframe âItâsnot admirable.ItâsaridiculousconceptthatIshouldâveditchedwiththerestofmyfriendsinthetenthgrade.â
âNo,IreallydothinkitâsincrediblethatyouâresavingyourselffortherightpersonâMymindshouldnâtwandertothe placewhereIfantasizeabouthowtightshemustbeorhowsoftandsilkysmoothherskinis.IshouldnâtgototheplacewhereI thinkaboutslidingintoherforthefirsttimeandmakinghermine.Ishouldnâtgotherebecausethatplaceisforfuckingperverts andthatâsnotwhoIam âYoushouldbeproudofitâ
âProudofthefactthatIcanâtdotheonethingeveryoneelsedoeswithoutthought?Iâmnot.Iwantitoffmymind. Honestly,Ijustwanttogetitoverwithâ
âYeah.âIstareoutthefrontwindow,watchingthesnowfallthroughthedarknessastheheadlightsguidetheway.My mindshouldbeontheroad Instead,itâslostsomewhereinthoughtsaboutholdingBaileycloseandshowingherwhatitâslike tobetouchedforthefirsttime.
âYeah,what?Areyousuddenlywillingtohelpmeout?âSheâsstilldrunk.Ifshewasnât,shewouldnâtbeasking.
âIâdliketomorethanyouknow,butwebothknowdeepdownthatâsamistakeâ
âHow?Youâreaman,soyoumustbehorny,andIâmacutelittlevirginwhowantsyoutotouchme.âShebatsher eyelashesandlandsherhandonmylap âWhatmandoesnâtwantthat?Youhelpmeouttonight,andcomemorning,wenever talkagain.â
âExcept wehavetotalkagain Youârethegamewarden,andyouâreupmyassabouteverything,remember?That andyourdadhasbeenalifelongfriendofmine.â
âOrâŚyouforgetweeverfiguredthatoutandyouputagirloutofhermisery.â
Avehementyesscreamsfrombehindmyzipper,butmybrainisstillshuttingthewholeideadown Nogoodevercomes fromcasualsex,butsheâsnotwrong.Iâmnotintownforeverandherfatherdoesnâthavetoknow.Hell,webarelyseeeach otheranymore What would one night change?
âSorry.âShescrubsherhanddownoverherface.âIâmacompletemess.Iprobablysoundlikesuchaloserthrowing myselfatyou.â
âYouârenotaloser.Igetit.IjustâŚwhatifyouregretit?Weshouldwaituntilmorningandreassesswhenyouâre sober.â
âHowmanypeoplehaveyoubeenwith?âShepullsthequestionoutofnowhere. âOh.I,ugh,Idonâtknow.Afew.Notmany.â
âNotmany,likesix,ornotmany,likeforty?â
âForty? No.Notforty.Ahandful,butitâsbeenawhile.Itoldyou,Idonâtdothewholecasualsexthing.Andatthis point,Iâmlookingforsomethingrealâ
âWhatdoes real mean?Likeafamily?â
âYeah Thewholepackage,youknow?Iâvefuckedaroundmywholelife IthoughtIwantedtobealone,butnowI realizeIneedmore.Unfortunately,Iprobablyrealizedallthattoodamnlate.â
âThisismyplace.âShepointstoalittlecabinsetbackinthewoodswithwhitelightstwinklingonthefrontporch. Smokebillowsfromthechimneyassnowcontinuestofall WhenIâveofficiallyparked,ItellhertostayinplacewhileIcome helpheroutofthetruck,butshedoesnâtlisten.
âNopeâShepopsopenthetruckdoor âIâmnotsome â open the door for me â kindofgirl IâmanAnnieOakleykindof girl.Gunsblazingandshit,yaknow?âShehopsfromthetruckandgoesdowntothegroundimmediately.
Silence
WhenIreachtheotherside,sheâsonherback,staringupatthesnowasitfallsontoherface.Mybrothersaregoingto diewhenItellthemIâvespentthenightcounselingthedrunkengamewarden.âYoualright?â
âYeahâShesitsupandattemptstostand,butfallsbackagain Ireachouttohelp,butshepullsawayinfavorofthetireofthetruck.âIâmfine.Icanhelpmyselfup.â
âRight,well,youmightwanttodoitsoonerthanlater Youdonâtneedfrostbiteontopofeverythingâ
Whensheâsstanding,shehobblestothedoor,andliftsontotheporchwithalimplikesheâshurtherankle.
âAreyouokay?â
Shenods.âIâmfine.â
âYoudonâtseemfine.Youârewalkinglikeyouârehurt.â
âWell,Iâmnothurt Iâmperfectlyfine,so weâregood Youcangonow Thankyouforyourhelp,andforthe conversation.Ifyouchangeyourmindabouthelpingmeoutinother ways,though,Iâmreadyandwilling.âHerwordsare slurred
âYeah,IthinkIâmgoingtocheckyouranklebeforeIleave.â
Sheglancestowardmeandunlocksthefrontdoor.Inside,thescentofcinnamonandvanillafillthesmallcabin.Thereâs agentleglowfromthefireplace,andthoughsmall,thecabinisdecoratedanddesignedtomakethebestuseofeverybitof space.
âHowlonghaveyouliveduphere?â
âTwoyears.Mydadbuilttheplaceforme.Someday,IâmhopingtoaddtoitormaybeexpandthelittleranchIâve started Rightnow,Ionlyhaveafewchickensandagoat,butIâmhopingforhorses Anyway,Iâmfine,really Youcango Thankyouforbringingmehome.DoIoweyougasmoney,ordoyoutakeother forms of payment?â Shesmilesacute, mischievousgrin,likesheâsspeakinginacodeImaybeabletofigureout.
âSitdownandletmelookatyourankle,please IâdfeellikeanassifIleftandyoubrokeitâ
âItâsnotbroken,butifyouinsist.âShegrins.âIsthissomekindofforeplay?Ifitis,Iâmdown.Thedoctorthinghas alwaysgottenmeoffalittleâShesitsbackonthecouchandslidesoffherboot,givingwaytothedarkestshadeofpurpleIâve everseenonhumanskin.
âShit â
âWell,thatâsnotwhatyouwanttohearfromDr.Feelgood.â
âThisisgoingtohurtlikeabitchinthemorning.âIpressonherankle,feelingforbrokenbones,butshedoesnâtwince, andIdonâtfeelanythingoutofplace Thatsaid,Iâmnotadoctor
âItâsjustbruised.ItwisteditalittlewhenIwentdown,butIâmfine.Noreasonforconcern.â
âReally?Okay,well âIstandfromtheedgeoftheottomanandmakemywaytowardthekitchentograbaclothforice cubes.
âYoureallydonâthavetodothis Iâmokay Besides,thestormisgettingworse Youshouldgoifyouâregoing Getting aroundthismountaininasnowstormlikethisisadeathsentence.â
Isettheiceonherankleandgrabmyphoneoutofmybackpocket.âIshouldcallmydadandlethimknowwhereIam. MybrotherswereatthebarsoIâmsuretheysawmeleavewiththegamewarden IfIdonâtgetaheadofthis,everyonewill createtheirownstoryofhowIâmfuckingeverythingup.YouokayforasecondwhileIcheckin?â
Shenodsandliftsherownphone,scrollingthroughitcasuallyasIstepoutonthefrontporch Thewindwhipsthe newlyfallenpowderacrossthefieldandswirlsinfrontoftheporch.
âHey.â
âWhereareyou?âMyfatherâsvoiceiscurtanddark.Iâmaforty-five-year-oldman,butweâreheretodoajob,andI knowheâspissedIâmnottherewiththefamily.âAtlassaidhesawyoutakingthegamewardenhomefromthebar.You
shouldnâtbemessingaroundwithher.â
âItâsnotwhatyouthink.Shewasdrunkandsheneededhelp.Ijustbroughtherhome.â
âAndyouârestucktherenow Theyjustclosedtheroads Nounnecessarytravelâ Ilaughundermybreath.âWell,Ididnâthaveachoice.So,everythingâsfine.â
âNo,itâsnot Thepeopleintownalreadyhateus Weneedtofollowtherules Youârestuckuntiltheylifttheban You knowyourbrotherslooktoyouforanswers.Ifyoustartbeingashithead,theyâllfollowsuit.â
âIdonâtthinkthatâsthecase IthinktheyâlldowhattheywantâHonestly,Ineedtothinkofagoodreasontoleavethis housetonight.IfIstayhere,Iâllbetheonemakingbaddecisions.Thereâsnodoubtaboutit.
âDoyouhearme?âmyfathergroansintothephone.Thisisthepartwhereworkingwithfamilyistough.âThatbearis probablytuckedawayrightnow,andthereâsnothingouttheretotrack Getrested,donâtfuckher,andweâllcatchupinthe morning.â
Idonâtmakeacommenttotheâdonât fuck herâ thingbecauseIknowheâsright âCopy Callyouinthemorningâ HedisconnectsthelineandIheadbackintothewarmthofthecabin,bringingwithmeawhirlofsnow. Baileyisleaningoverherankle,pressingontheswollenpartsasthoughsheâsassessingherselffordamage âIcanmove it,sothatâsgood,right?â
âItâsgoodyoucanmoveit.Fromhereitlookslikeabadsprain.Weâllkeepituptonightandiceit.Inthemorning,Iâll takeyoutothedoctorintownâ
âNo,thatâsfine.Iâvesprainedmyanklebefore.Icanrestitforafewdays.Besides,thatâsalongdrivebackhereforyou inthemorning IfIneedthedoctor,IhavefriendsnearbyIcancallâ
âActually,itwonâtbeadrivebecauseIâllbehere.â
âWhat?âHerfacepales.âWhy?Didyoudecidetotakemeuponmyoffer?â
âTheyclosedtheroads.â
Herbreathhitches.âWell,thisisgoodnews.Theroadswerebadonourwayup.Nowyoudonâthavetoworryabout thatâ
âIcansleeponthefloororoutinmytruck.Iknowitâsnotideal.Iâmsorry.â
Shedragsinadeepbreathandletsitoutslowly âYouâreamassiveman Youcanâtsleepinyourtruck,andIâmnot lettingyousleeponthefloor.â
âIâlltakethecouchthen.â
Shelaughsandstandsfromthesofa.âThisthingwouldnâtholdoneofyourfeet.Iâllsleepouthere,andyouâlltakethe bed.Agoodportionofyourlegsmighthangoff,butatleastyouâllbemildlycomfortable.â
âThanks,butIcanâtdothat Itâsyourbed,andyouâreinjured Youneedyoursleepifyouâregoingtogetbetterâ
Shelooksdownatherpurpleankle,thenbackupatme.âOkay,youâreprobablynotwrong.So,sleepwithme.â
âYouâreanaggressivelittlething,arenâtyou?â
âNotusually.Whiskeygivesmewings.â
Ilaugh.âWell,sleepingwithyouwouldbeahorribleidea.â
âWhyâsthat?â
âSeriously?â
âYeahâ
Iscrubmyhanddownovermybeardandglanceaway.âWell,yourofferisverytempting,andwhileIknowitâsrightto waitthisout,Idonâttrustmyselfalonewithyou inabedâ
Shesinksherhandintomineanddragsmetowardthebackofthecabin.âWhichisexactlywhyyouâresleepingthere.â
ChapterThree Iâveneveractuallysleptwithaman.MyexandIdidnâtdosleepoversandIâveneverbeencloseenoughtoanyoneelse forittomatter.Howsadisthat?IâmnearlyathirdofthewaythroughmylifeandIhavenâtevenhadamanlaybesidemein beduntilnow
ThankGodforwhiskeyorImaynotevenhavethis.Well,thankGodforwhiskeyandforRowan.Rowandidnâthaveto goalongwithanyofthistonight,buthedid Thereâssomethingabouthavingagoliathofamansleepingnexttomethatmakes everythingalittlebitbetter.Heâswarm,andthoughheâsstuffedapillowbetweenus,theheatfromhisbodysurroundsme.
Icuddleintotheblanketandtrytoforceawayfantasiesofpleasure,butRowanisallIcanthinkabout.Hisbroad shoulderscoveredinink,hissolid,hairychest,thewayhetalkslikeheâssosureofhimself.Hisbig,roughhandsandtheway hetouchedmyanklesogently.Isighandclosemyeyesinanattempttothinkofanythingelse.Trolls,dolphins,theamountof shovelingIâmgoingtohavetodotomorrow,thisankleandallthepainthatâscreepingupmyleg MaybeIshouldseeadoctor Ishoulddefinitelyseeadoctor,butnotformyankle.MaybeforanMRIoraCTscan,whicheveristheonethatchecks yourbrainfunctions
Rowanshiftsbesideme.Hisweightmovesthemattressandshiftsallthebedding.Iâvemadesuchanidiotoutofmyself tonight.AndthoughIlovethatheâshere,thepatheticnatureuntowhichIâvegottenhimhereisjustâŚweird.Ishouldprobably steerclearofallalcoholinthefuture.Thenagain,alittlemoreandmaybeIâdhavegottenhimalltheway.
Damnit,girlâŚno!Thatâsstupidandirresponsible.
TherhythmofRowanâsbreathissteadyandslow Heâsfallenasleep Iwonderifheâsdreamingaboutme Ifheis,itâs probablyanightmare.Aterrible,awfulnightmareaboutawomanthatkissedhimwithoutpermissionandluredhimintoher bedduringasnowstorm
This is who Iâve become. Who can I thank for this? The church? My parents? The books I read about the evil that would happen if I broke my chastity outside of marriage?
IclosemyeyesandtryandimagineanythingbutRowanâslipsonmine,butIâmonlydivertedbyhishandsonmywaist. Heleanedintothatkiss.Maybehewantedtokissmetoo.Thenagain,maybeIshouldnâttrustmemoriesIhadwhileIwas drunk ThesethoughtsspincontinuouslyuntilIâmdriftingintodarkness
IdonâtknowwhattimeitiswhenIwakeup,butwhenIrollover,Rowanisawaketoo Iopenmymouthtotalk,buthisfingertiplandsonmylips.âDoyoustillwantthis?â Inodbreathlessly,myclitthrobbing,myheartpounding.
âThendoasIsayâHelaysbackandmovestheblanketawayfromhisgiantframewherehisthickcockstandsat attention.
Oh God, whatâs happening?
Mythighsacheandnothingelseintheworldmatters.Notmyankle,notthesnow,notthefactthatheâsmyfatherâsfriend, nothing Iwanthim,hewantsme,andthatâsallthereistoit âTakeoffyourlittlepanties.Iwanttoseeyourpussy.â
IâmpantingasIstammer,âYes.âIslidethethincottondownovermylegsandgetontomykneesforhim.Hisbighand palmsovermeandathickfingerslidesin,pumpinginandoutofmycoreashestaresstraightatme âGoodgirl.Nowsitonmyface.Ridemybeard.Iwanttofeelyouonme.â
MaybeIshouldhesitate,butIdonât IclimbupontohisfaceandmounthisbeardasIbenddownandsuckhisgiant cock.
IâmnotsurewhatIlikemore,histongueagainstmyclit,orhisdickpushingagainstmycheek Hemoansandgrowls againstmeasthoughhecanâtgetenough.Isighinresponseoverandoveragain,takingallofhiminuntilmythighsshake againsthisbeard.
âYouâresoakingwet,princess Turnaround IwanttoseethoseprettytitswhileyoubounceonmycockâHistoneisso deepandraspythatInearlycomealloverhimrightthenandthere,butIdoasheasksandsitonhisdick.Slowandsteady,I lowermyselfdownashespreadsmewide
Iâveneverfeltanythinglikethis.Heâssobig.Heâsso,sobig.
Iblowoutabreathandtakemoreofitashegrowls,âGoodgirl.Goodfuckinggirl.Spreadyourlittlepussyovermy cockâŚjustlikethat.Takeitall.Takemycocklikeagoodgirl.â
Iâvebarelygottenthefirstquarterofhiminwhenherubsmyclitwithhisfingertipandgroans.âYouâresoakedforme.â HisfreehandgripsmybreastandpinchesmynippleasIcontinuetolowerontohimandbounce Ishouldtakelonger.Ishouldenjoyeverysensation.Hisroughskin,hisgiantbody,thewayheholdsme,thewayhe growls,thewayhiscoarsepalmsfeelagainstmyskin Instead,Irockharderagainsthiscockandhishand,closemyeyes,and
come.ExplosionsdetonateinmyheadandsparksbreakthebarrierbetweentimeandspaceuntilIâmlostinauniverseIcanât describe.
Rowanholdsmefrombehindand behind? WhyisRowanholdingmefrombehind?Iwasjustridinghim Myeyesopen,myhandisbetweenmylegs,andIâmsighingoutloud.
âBailey,areyouokay?âRowanâsdeepvoicegritsintomyear âYouâremovingaroundalot Ithinkyouârehavinga nightmare?â
Webothknowthosenoiseswerenâtthesoundsofnightmares
Istopallmovementlikeapossumplayingdead.DearGod,whatdoIdonow?HowdoIexplainthisaway?Iâvejust givenmyselfanorgasminmysleep.WhothehellknowswhatIsaid?Whatdidhehear?
âAreyouokay?âheasksagain Hesoundsalittlegroggy Maybehewasasleep Maybehedidnâthearanything,orhe canâtmakesenseofitanyway.âItâstimetogetup.Iâllgomakesomecoffee.â
Coffee? Icouldusecoffee
Hishandleavesacoldspaceonmyskinbeforeherollsawayandhisweightliftsfromthebed.Astheshadesbend open,heyells,âFuck!â
Irollontomyback.âWhat?â
âThereâslikefivefeetofnewsnowouthere.â
âFivefeet?Really?âDesperatetoprovehimwrong,andchangethesubjectcompletely,Iditchtheconcernaboutmy dreamandstandfromthebed,hoppingtowardthewindowwhereIseeatleastfivefeetoffreshpowderysnow.âShit.â
âYeah Iâmgoingtobehereforawhile Weshouldgetcomfortable Itcouldbeaweekbeforetheyhavetheroadsclear totown.â
âAweek? Idonâthaveenoughfoodforaweek.â
âWell,goodthingyouhavemethen.Ihavemyhuntingandfishinggearinthetruck.Iâllgetoutsideaftercoffee.Afterthat dreamyouhadlastnight,soundslikeyoucouldusesometimealoneanyway.âHesmirks.
He smirks!Heknowsitwasnâtanightmare
MyfaceheatsandIâmsureitâsashadeofcrimsontheworldhasneverseen.âWhat?Iwasdreamingaboutbears.They werebeingtrappedand â
âYeah,metoo.âHeholdsbackaperfectsmile,glancesdownatmyhardnipplespokingthroughmyt-shirt,andwalks towardthekitchen.
Iâveneverfeltsoseen,andunfortunately,thatâsnotagoodthing.
ChapterFour Rowan
Iâmontheicenexttoadrilledholewithmypoleinthewater,waitingforabite.Iâmnotsurehowmanydaysweâre goingtoneedfishfor,butIassumeitâsgoingtobemorethanone,soIâmgoingtobeouthereforawhile.
Itâsprobablyforthebest IfIgoinsideandseeherpuffynipplespokingfromunderthatshirtagain,Iâmgoingtoturninto ananimalandthatâsnotgoodforanyone.Besides,sheseemedratherembarrassed.Iâvebeendrunkbefore.Iknowhowhard thenextdaycanbe Spacewilldousbothsomegood Myphoneringsinmypocket.Itâsmyfatherwithanearful,Iâmsure.
âHowâsitgoingoverthere?âHedoesnâtsoundasirritatedashewaslastnight,butthatdoesnâtmeananything. âGood.Fishingrightnow.Looksliketheroadsaregoingtotakeafewdaystoclear.Whataboutyou?Youguyshave everythingyouneed?â
âOhyeah Weârestockedhereformonths Weâllprobablybegivingthisstuffawaywhenwegetthisbearinthenext week.Howâdlastnightgo?â
âLastnight?âAflashofBailyâsnipplespebbledunderhershirtstiffensmycock âGood Noissues Iâllbeoutofhereas soonastheplowcomesthrough.â
âGreat.Hudsonhasbeenintouchwiththelocallibrarian.Heâshopingtogetsomemapssowecangettheareasurveyed incasethetipwiththeKellerpropertydoesnâtpanout.â
Usually,Iâmtheonewhoâsgivingeveryonedirection.Itâshardtobesofarawayfromthejob.Thenagain,Icanâtwaitto gobackwiththesefishandstareatBaileyfortherestofthenight Theviewismuchbetterthantheoneofmybrothersbackat thatcabin.
âSoundslikeyouguyshaveagoodhandleoneverything Iâllbebackassoonastheroadsareclearâ
âStaywell.âMyfathergroansandhangsuptheline.Heâsneverbeenanoverlytalkativeman,buthedoeshaveaway withpeoplethatmakeseveryonefeelateaseâŚeveryonebuthischildren.
AtugcomesontothelineafewminuteslaterandIreelinmyfirstcatchoftheday.Alaketrout.Heâsonthesmaller side,maybearoundsevenpounds.Afewmoreoftheseandweâllbesetforafewdays.Icanalwayscomebackdownifwe runlow
Ifishforanotherfewminutesbeforemyphonevibratesagain.ThistimeIdonâtwanttoanswer.Itâsmybuddy,Geno, Baileyâsfather IcontemplatewhatIâllsay,butnothingsoundsgoodenough,soIletthecallgotovoicemail onlyforhimto ringagain.God,maybeheknowssomething.
Whatâs there to know? We didnât do anything.
AllIâvedonesofarisprotectherfromtheelementsandmakesuresheâssafeandsoundhereatthecabin âHey,buddy.Whatâsgoingon?Everythingokay?âHeâsacop,soIâmsurehesensesthetensioninmyvoice.
âAh,yeah IâmstuckoutonRidgeRoad WasonmywayuptocheckonBaileyandthesnowmobilequitonme IswearI domoreworkonthisthingthanridingit.Iwaswonderingifyouhadanyoneinthefieldthatyoucouldsendovertohelp.â
âIcanmakeacall Weâvegotacoupleofguyswhomightbeabletohelpyouwithyoursled Asfarasyourother concern,IâmactuallyoveratBaileyâsrightnow.âMyheartstopsasItalk.
âYouare?âHistonestiffensashesays,âWhy?Didnâtknowyoutwokneweachother.â
âWedonât,really Sheneededaridehomefromthebarlastnight,andbythetimeIgotusbackhere,thestormhad kickedin.Weârewaitingitoutnow.â
Hepauses,thenspeakswithwhatsoundslikeanxiety,âFuck Well,atleastIknowsheâssafewithyou Iwasworried abouther.Shegetsfreakedoutinthestormswhensheâssnowedin.Donâtaskmewhyagirlwithafearofbeingalonedecided toliveoutinthemiddleofnowhere,butshedidâ
âAhwell,sheâsnotalonenow.â Why did I say it like that? âAnyway,Icancalltheoldmanandseeifhehasanyone availablewhereyouâreat,butIâmthinkinghecalledeveryoneinwiththestorm.â
âIfyoucan IthinkIâllstartwalkinginthemeantime Iknowaguyafewmilesawaywhocanhelpoutthatdoesnâthave acellphone,butIwastryingtoavoidthewholedeepsnowthing.â
âWhydonâtyouletmecallyouarescue?â
âToodangerous.Itâsmyownfault.Idraggedmyselfouthere,soIcangetmyselfback.Thanksforkeepinganeyeon Bails.Iâmgladyouârethere.â
Ihavenâtdoneanythingwrong,butguiltsettlesinanyway.âYougotit,man.â
âOh,andshelikesplayingcards.Ifshestartstoloseit,thatmighthelp.â
IfBaileywereheretolistentothisconversation,hereyeswouldberollingbackinherhead Somethingtellsmethatgirl doesnâtwanttoplaycards.âGotit.Sendmeatextwhenyouârebackhome.â
âWilldo,man Staysafeâ
âSame,buddy.âThelinedisconnectsandIgobacktopullingfishoutofthewaterwhileIcontemplateeverythoughtI haverunningthroughmyhead.
Baileyâsnipples,thesoundsshemadelastnight,thewayherlipsfeltagainstmine,theinnocentwaysheaskstobe touched,theguiltylookonherfacethismorningwhensheâddreamtaboutustogether.Shedidnâtconfirmit,butIâmnotsure sheneedsto Ihadthesamedreams Thesamefeelings Thesameachebetweenmylegs Thatsaid,ifitwasnâtclearbefore, hearingGinoâsvoiceconfirmsmythoughts.Sheâsofflimits.
Theicecracksandacoldbreezeblowsacrossthelake Iglanceuptogaugethedirectionofthewindfromthetreetops, butthereinfrontofmeissomethingmuchmorepressing.
Fifteenfeetaway,standingontheiceisagrizzlybear,theoneweâreheretohunt.Theanimalâsmouthopens,itsteeth bare,andagrowlreleasesloudandhot
Ipickupmygunfromthegroundandstareatthecreature,aimingtokill.
Thisiswhatwecameherefor Thisoversized,menacingbeast Heâspresentedhimselftomeasthoughhewantsthisto beovertoo.
âDonâtshoot Please!âBaileyhollersfromthehouseandthebeartakeshisattentiontowardher Fucking hell!
âPleasedonâtshoot,âsherepeats,slowerthistime.
âWouldyouratherIwrestlehimdown?â
âNo.Maybejustlethimgo.âHervoiceistrembling.
What the hell?
âLethimgo?Heâsgoingtokillme!âIâmstillstaringatthebearasItalk,thoughinreality,heseemslessinterestedinme andmoreinterestedinthefishinmybucket.
Baileyhollersagain,âHeâsjustlivinghislife!Pleasedonât!â
Sothatâswhatthisisabout?Shedoesnâtwantuskillingthebearatall?
Why the hell do I want to listen to her? Why do I want to let this big bastard go? I shouldnât Weâre here to do a job Everyone in town wants us gone. So, then why do I want to listen to her? Why donât I want to shoot this animal? Why do I want to go back inside and hold her knowing I did what made her happy?
No.Icameheretoshootabear,soIâmshootingthebear.
Icockmygunandaim,suckinginadeepbreathbeforeIpullthetrigger. âPlease!âsheshoutsdownfromthehouse.âPlease!â
Thebear,whocouldn'tcarelesswhatthreatIamtohim,amblesovertomybucket,andcarriesitoffasthoughIâve fishedjustforhim Threelaketroutandasideoflivebaitlost
âFuck!âIthrowmygunovermyshoulderandmakemywaytowardthehousewithnofood,myauger,mypole,anda rumblingstomach
Theworstpartis,Ikindoflikeherconvictions.Thebackwardswayofherthinking.Thepartwheresheâsafucking gamewardenwhodoesnâtwantmetokillabearthatâsterrorizingthetown.Theyshouldwriteaboutherinpsychology journals Thewomanwhoagreestohunting,butonlycertain animals
IhavesomanythingsIcandebateregardingthis,andwhenIstepuponthefrontporch,Ido.âWhatmakesthatbearâs lifeanymoreimportantthantheelkinmyfreezer?â
Sheopenshermouthandclosesitagain.âElkarenâtprotected.GrizzlieshavenâtbeenseeninColoradoforyears,and â
âRightâŚbecausetheyâredangerousandpeopleshotthem.IfIhadacoupleofkidsplayingoutbacktoday,Iâdliketo knowtherewasnâtagrizzlybearlurkingaround.Wouldnâtyou?â
Shesighs âYouâretwistingmywordsaround Thatbearhasnâthurtanyone Heâsjusthungryâ âHeshouldbehibernating.â
âButheâsnot Maybeheâsspecialâ âSpecial?Heâsspecialalright.Youcanâttellanyonethisstory.Iâllgetrippedapart.â
Shebitesbackagrinandpretendstoziphermouthclosed âImadeyousomethingtoeatâ
Mybrowswrinkle.âYousaidyoudidnâthavefood.Andwhatareyoudoinguponyourankle?Youshouldberesting.â
âIliveinthemiddleofnowhere.Ofcourse,Ihavefood.Notalot,butsome.Andmyankleisfine.Istillneedtomove.â
âThenwhydidyoutellmeyoudidnâthaveenoughfood?â
Shetwistsherlonghairtothesideandsitsatthetablesheâsset.âIfweârestrandedfordays,Idonâthaveenough. Youâretheonethatranoutsidelikeyouwereonfireâ
Istaredownatthemealsheâsmade.Tomatosoup,sandwiches,andsheâsevengotacoffeecakesetonthecounter.Now thatIâvewarmedup,itâshardtomissthesavorysweetscentcirculatinginthesmallcabin. Leavingmybootsandcoatatthedoor,Isettleatthetablewithahuff.âWhatâsgoingon?â
Shedipshersandwichintothesoupandtakesabite.âWhatdoyoumean?â
Ilaughundermybreath.âProtectingthisbearisnâtgoingtoworkforlong.Mybrothersdonâthaveathingforyou.They wonâtbeasforgiving.â
âYouhaveathingforme?â
Fuck.Thatcameoutwithouttrying.Idraginadeepbreathandtakeabigbiteoffood,keepingmymouthfullaslongas possible ThelesstimeIhavetospeak,thebetter Baileysmiles.âWhendidthathappen?â
Ishakemyhead âImisspoke Iâmheretoprotectyoufromtheelementsandyourself So Ihaveathingwith you With you.â
Hergringrowswider.âNo.Yousaidyouhadathingfor me.Whichalsoexplainswhyyouranoutthismorning.â âIranoutbecauseyouhadsomecreeperdreamaboutlosingyourvirginityandIwasthestarâ âOh, you werethestar?âShesmilesandlooksaway.âIthinkmaybe I was.Itwasmedoingallthesuckingandriding so â
âDirtywordsforasobergirl.Youputwhiskeyinthatsoup?â
Sheshakesherhead âNah,justfigureImayaswellshootstraight Weârestuckhere,youadmittedyouhaveathingfor me,andIâmstilldesperatetolosethisv-cardIâvebeencarryingaround.SoâŚâHerlipspurse.
Thisisnâthappening.
Ilookdownatthefoodonthetableandstuffanotherbitein Iâmnotevensurewhatittasteslikeaseverydropof consciousnessIhavehasgonetomycock.âYouâreplayingwithfire,princess.â
âAmI?WhathappenswhenIplaywithfire?â
Mycockisuncomfortablyhard,anditâstakingeveryounceofenergyIhavenottotieherupandmakehermine.âKeep going,youâllfindout.â
Shetakesalongsipofwaterandstarestowardme.âIwantyoutotellme.Everydetail.âHerbackisstraightinthe chairandhernipplesarehardandpoking.
Fuck!
Iswallowhardandsipdownagulpofwaterbeforeglancingbacktowardher.âYouâresureyouwanttoknow?â Herlipspartasshenods
âWhatifitâsrough?Idonâtwanttoscareyou.â
âIthinkIâdlikeitrough.Ifantasizeaboutitthatway.âHertoneisbreathy,andsheresituatesinthehardwoodenchairas thoughsheâsuncomfortablyachingforrelease.
âWell,Ihadadreamlastnighttoo.â
âWhatabout?â
âYouwerenakedinfrontofme.Thosebig,heavytitshangingformetosuck.Yourprettypussyoutformetotouch.âI hangontothewordsandwatchherexpressionunfold Sheâsexcited Shelikesthedirtytalk âWhathappenednext?â
âItoldyoutogetonyourkneesforme.â
âDidI?â
Inod.âYoudid.Youputyoursoftlipsonmycock,andyousuckedmedrywhileIheldallthatprettyhairback.â âYoucameinmymouth?â
Inod.âAndthenyouletitdrainoffyourtongueandspillalloveryourprettylittlebody.â
Hercheeksarepinkandthetiniestofsighsreleases âThenwhat?â
âIneededmore.So,IstoodyouupandItiedthoselittlewriststothecornerofthebed,andImassagedyourclitwithmy lips.â
Shesighs,louderthistime,rubbingherhipsinsmallinadvertentcirclesIâmnotsuresheevenrealizessheâsmaking âI likethat!â
âYeah?YouâdlikeitifIateyourlittlepussy?â
Shenods.âIwould.â
This is dangerous Iâm so fucking hard and desperate for her that Iâm going to make bad decisions Thereâs no doubt about it. How can I come back from this? Why did I start this? Whatever made me think rattling off fantasies would be a good idea?
âWhathappensnext?âHertoneisstillbreathless,herlipswetandparted
âWell,Ieatthatlittlepussyuntilyouârewetandslippery.ThenIputyouonyourbackattheedgeofthebedandIslide intoyourwarmlittlecenter,wrapmyhandaroundyourthroat,andfuckyouharduntilyouârecomingonmycocklikeagood littlegirl.â
Shestaresatmeunblinking,andIwonderifIâvegonetoofar.Alumpmovesdownherthroat.âIneedtocome,Rowan.â Iblowoutaheavybreathandforcemyselftothinkoftheobstacles,butnoneofthemwork.Firstandforemost,her father.Thentheage.ThentherealitythatIhavetoleaveforAlaskawhenthisbeariscaught.âWhatifIdonâtwantyouforone
night?â
âWhatdoyoumean?Wehavehoweverlongthestormkeepsusin.â
âMaybethatâsnotenoughâ
âWhat?Youcanâtstandme.Weârecompleteopposites.Donâtmakethismorethanithastobe.â
âLookatmeâIstandfromthetableandmovetowardher,reachingforherhanduntilsheâsstandingwithme,staringup asthoughshemightexplodeifIdonâttouchher.
âWhat?â
Iswallowhardandleanintoherlips,brushingmineagainsthersgentlybeforepullingawayagain.âYouârenotthekind ofgirlsomeonefucksandwalksawayfrom.Youâredifferent.â
Shesighs âIâmtiredofthat Iwantyoutofuckmehard Andthen,Iwantyoutowalkawayandkeepmeinthebackof yourheadlikesometawdrylittlememoryyouhadwiththevirgininthemountains.â
Ishrug âIcanâtdothat Iwanttoknowyoubetter Iwantto â
Aheavythudhitsthedoorandwebothglancetowardit.Nooneshouldbehere.Thereâsnounnecessarytravel,andeven iffolkscould,theywouldnâtbegettingfarwiththeamountofsnowontheground
Baileylookstowardme.âIthinkthatâsmyfather.Whywouldmyfatherbehere?â
MychesttightensandIletoutaslow,laboredbreath,unsureofwhattosay.Ihavenofuckingclue,butIthinktodayis abouttogetevenmoreawkward
ChapterFive Bailey Myfathersitsonthecouchwithonelegcrossedovertheother.Theblackflannelhewearseverywhereiswrinkledup onhischestandthet-shirtbeneathitisstainedwithwhatIâmguessingisbreakfastsyrup.Myfatherloveshispancakes.Heand Rowanshootcommentsbackandforthliketheyâreoldfriends I guess they are.
Whatthehell?Whydoeslosingyourvirginityhavetobesocomplicated?Ithoughtwomenweresupposedtohavesome kindofpowerovermen.MaybeIdonâthaveit.MaybeIâmtheonewomanonEarththatmencan resist.Makessense consideringIâvebeenthrowingmyselfatRowanfortwodaysnowandIâvegottennowhere.
Maybeitâsgoodmyfathershowedup.Ineedasoliddoseofreality.
âSorrytoshowupunannouncedlikethis,cupcake.DidRowantellyouaboutthesnowmobiletroubleIwashaving?â IglancetowardRowanandthentowardmyfather âNo Whathappened?â
âThemotorwentoutagainonmywayuphere.Barrygavemearideonhissledandyourcabinwascloserthanmine. So,IthoughtIâddropbyandkeepyouguyscompany ItwouldhavebeenanhourbackandforthforBarrytotakemebackto myhouse.â
âYeahâŚofcourse.Youârealwayswelcome.Anywordonwhentheroadswillbecleared?â
âNotuntiltheweekendbythesounds.Though,Iknowtheycalledacoupleofplowsinfromthecitytohelpout.âMy fatherrubshishandstogetherinanattempttoheatthemup.âHowareyoutwodoing?Funnyhowyouranintoeachother.Sorry IdidnâtmentionknowingRowansooner YoutwocouldâvehookedupbeforehandandmadeaplantogetthisbearâDadlooks towardRowan.âMygirlhereisthebestgamewardenthismountainhaseverseen.â
Rowangrinsandglancestowardme âThatâswhatIhearâIâmthankfulhedoesnâtripintomeagain âThepeoplein townarenâtourbiggestfans,buthopefullyweâllbeinandoutofherequickly.â
âYeah,sorryaboutthat.âDadbrusheshishanddownoverhisbeard.âUsually,thesefamiliesarerealwelcoming.Ithink afewofyourbrothersgotoffonthewrongfootwithsomefarmersregardinglandaccess.Folksarerealsensitiveaboutthatin theseparts,butyouknowhowitgoes.â
Rowannods âYeah Ithinkitwasamistakeontheirpart Theyâvetriedapologizingbutpeoplearepissedâ
âFolkswillcomearound.Giveittime.Whenyoucatchthatbear,theyâllhaveaparadeforyou.Hewasseendowntown lastnighttryingtogetintothebakery Mrs Robinsonmadesome âWantedâposterswiththebearâspicture Everyoneloves Mrs.Robinson,andthepostersarefunny,butallthisactionisscaringfolks.Youguyswillbeheroessoonenough.â
Rowandragsinaheavybreathandletsitoutslowly,hisgazeonmine.Webothknowwhatheâsthinking.Imessedup hischancetotakedownthebearandthewholetowngivinghimherostatusforit Well,thejokeisonhimbecauseIplanon stoppingeveryone.
Istareoutthewindow,watchingtheearlyafternoonlightfadeasthesnowbeginstodissipate MyfatherandRowanare talkingabouttruckengines.DadthinksFordisthebest,RowanlikeshisChevy.Isthiswhatitâslikehavingaboyfriend?Jake andIdatedformonths,andhecouldnâtbotherhimselfwithmyfamily Notevenonce Granted,Rowanâssituationisalittle differentandIâmclearlylosingmymindthinkingotherwise.
âIthinkIâmgoingtotakeanap.Myankleisaching.â
âProbablybecauseyouwereupmakingthatlunch YoushouldâvebeenrestingâRowanstaresatmewithintensityas thoughIâvedisobeyedhimorsomething.
Irollmyeyes âYeah,well,thatâsme NeverfollowingordersâIleanintomyfatherandkisshisforehead,resistingthe urgetodothesametoRowan.
Why is it so hard to resist? Why does it make me happy that he cares? Iâm not supposed to be catching feelings for him. Iâm supposed to be using him.
âNo,cupcake.Iâllhelpyouintothebed.âMyfatherstandsandflashesoftheunmadebedcometomind.Thesheetsare wrinkledlikethereweretwobodieslyingonthemattress becausetherewas Dadcanâtseethat
âNo!Iâmfine.âIpushmyfatheraway.âReally,I â
âIâllhelpyouâRowanstandsfromthecouchandhooksintomyarm Ishouldstophimtoo,ifnotforthesakeofmy heart,atleastforshow.WhywouldIwantRowanhelpingmeovermyfather?Itwonâtmakesensetohim,andifitdoes,heâll overthinkitallandassumeRowanandIarebeinginappropriate.
ThesearethethoughtsthatgothroughmyheadasRowanwalksmetothebedroom,hisgiantarmhookedwithmine,his weightholdingmeup.Idon'tneedthismuchhelp.Ihobbledaroundallmorningonmyown,andinreality,Iâmonlyleavingthe livingroombecauseIneedtodetachfromwhateverIâmfeeling NowhereIam,feelingitmore Ihavehisscentalloverme andmyclitisthrobbingagain.
âYouneedareplayoflastnight,oryougotthis?âRowanstaresdownatmeasIsettleontothebed Hisgazeis
narrowedandthereâsasmirkonhisface.
Idraginadeepbreath.âYouwouldnâtdaregivemeareplaywithmyfatherinthenextroom.â
Heleansinandwhisperslowinmyear,âDreamofmelickingthatlittlepussyclean,princessâHistoneisdeepand warm,leavingachillonmyspinethattinglesdownbetweenmylegs.GoodLord,Ineedhelp.Allkindsofhelp.Thekindthat givesmereprieveandsavesmefrommyself
Can I get that in a package deal somewhere?
âYouâreevil,âIsay,slidingunderthecovers
Hegrabsapillowandpropsmyankleup.âRest.Iâvegotthingswithyourdadforawhile.âThescentofpinefillsmy noseasheleansinandkissesmyforehead.Hisbeardisscratchy,andhisbreathiswarm.âSeeâŚthiscouldworkoutfine. YourdadwouldgetusedtothisandIcouldtooâ
âIthoughtwewerenâtcomplicatingthis.â
âYouarenâtcomplicatingthis Iamâ âWhy?â
Heshrugsandsitsontheedgeofthebed,histhickfingersmovingthroughmyhair Iloveit,butthedooriswideopen, andthecabinissmall.Afewstepstotheleftandweâllbeexplainingalotmorethanwhyweslepttogetherlastnight.âIâm complicatingthisbecauseI â
âEverythingokayinhere?âDadstandsinthedoorwaystaringdownatRowanwhosehandisstillonmyface âWhatâs goingon?â
Rowanholdshisgazeonminethenstandsfromthebed,toweringovermytallfatherandeverythingelseintheroomfor thatmatter.
Imisshisweightimmediately.IshouldtellmyfatherthatIlikehim,butwhatgoodwouldthatdo?Rowanisgoingback toAlaskasoon.Drivingawedgebetweenmyfatherandhisfriendforthesakeofa âfeelingâ doesnâtseemright. âIwasâŚIhaveaheadache,âImanage.
Myfatherâsthickbrowsnarrow,andhelookstowardRowanasthoughheâsquestioningthevalidityofmystatement Rowansighsandglancestowardmebeforesteppingpastmyfatherandintothehallway.âIâmgoingtogetsomefresh airâ
Dadlooksdownatme,hisgazelikeaheavyweight.âWashebeingweirdwithyou?â
IshakemyheadandwatchRowanmovedownthehallandoutofvision.âNo.Heâsbeensohelpful.â
Daddoesnâtlooksatisfiedwithmyanswer,andthankstoRowansweirdexit,Idonâtwonderwhy.
What is he thinking, and why do I wish he would come back and lay next to me?
ChapterSix Rowan
ThereâsapairofsnowshoesinmytruckthatIâmtemptedtostraponanduse.Icouldgetdown themountainbymorning.Iâdbettheinnhassomespaceforme.Thenagain,Icouldmakealittleigloohouseintheforestand callitanight Atthispoint,IthinkIâdhavebetterluckwithamenacinggrizzlythanIwouldinthatcabin Iâveneverbeen goodathidingmyemotions.ThatâspartofwhyIchoosenottohavemany.
What do I do with them once I feel them? Whatâs the point? Whatever I feel only muddles things, especially in this situation.
Ileanbacktheseatinmytruckandcrankupthemusicbeforeclosingmyeyes.Iâmhopingtodrownoutmyfeelings butthesongthatâsplayingonlymakesitworse.Iclicktheradiooffandsitinsilence.
Peoplesaysnowdoesnâthaveasound,butitdoes.Evenlightsnowlikethishasasound.Itâsmuffledandpeaceful, likeyouârewearinganoldsetofheadphonesthathushtheworldwithsoftstatic
Itrytostayinthepresent.Thewaythelightfiltersinthroughthetrees,thewaythetrucksmells,thewaymyjeans feelagainstmypalms Instead,allofthosethingsonlyremindmeofBailey Thelightiscominginthroughherwindow,I shouldâvetwistedtheshades.Thewaythetruckstillsmellslikeher,cinnamonandvanilla.Myjeansandthewayhersmall handsfeltagainstmylegontheridehomeyesterday.
Fuck!
Isuckinadeepbreathandblowitoutslowly.IâdhavetoldherfatherrightthenandtherethatIhadfeelingsforher. Wecouldâveclearedthiswholethingupandbeenfreetomoveforwardhoweverwechoose Butthatâsnotwhatshewants, andIhavetorespectthat.Ihavetorespectthat,inspiteofthesicknessIfeelaboutanyoneelsetakinghervirginity.
NoonewouldbecarefulwithherlikeIwould Theywouldnâtrespecther Theywouldnâtholdherafterward They wouldnâtappreciatethegifttheyweregetting.TheywouldnâtfeelforherlikeIfeel.
What the hell is wrong with me?
WhenIrealizethatdozingoffisnâtgoingtodothetrick,Ipulloutmyphoneandcallmyfathertocheckinonthe guys.Heanswersonthefirstring.âYesâŚâ
âCheckinginâ
âStillsnowinghere,buttheCBradiosaysthereâsaplowcomingupyoursideofthemountain.Youshouldbeable toleavetoday Howarethingswiththegamewarden?â
âWeâremakingdo.Herfatherisherenow,soIâllheadoutwhentheplowcomesby.âMychesttightensatthe thoughtofleavingBaileyunderanyoneâscarebutmyown.
âIâllhaveHudsonmeetyoudownonMainStreetwiththesled Itâsonlyathirty-minuteridefromthere Youcan leaveyourtruckinthebacklotatthediner.â
Igruntoutsomereplyofapprovalastherumbleofaplowechoesinthedistance âIhearitnow Iâllbeoutofhere inthenexttwentyminutes.CallyouwhenIâmonMain.â
âCopythat StaysafeâHehangsupthelineandIstareoutattheroadastheplowpushesthroughheavypilesof snow.Itâsslowmovingandthereâsnowahard,heavymountainoficeattheendofthedrivewayIshouldâveanticipated.I wouldâvehadmyheartnotbeenlingeringonhowtosaygoodbyetoBailey.
Iâllseeheragain Godknowssheâlldowhateversheneedstokeepthisbearsafe,buttherewonâtbeanother momentlikethis.Amomentwhereweâresoclosetobeingreal.Amomentwhereourheartsareinthesameplace,andfate haspushedustogether
Theheatfromthetruckhasmyeyesfeelingheavy,andwhileIknowIneedtogetoutandshoveltheendofthe driveway,Iclosemyeyesandleanagainstthewindowinstead Afewminutesofshuteyewilldomegood
Whatfeelslikeaminutelater,thereâsaheavyknockatthetruckwindowfollowedbytwolighterones. MyeyesflickopenquicklyandIjumpforwardatattention Forasecond,IâmnotsurewhereIamorhowIgot there.ItâsdarkoutsideandIâminasnowbank.No,Iâmhunting.
IturntowardmywindowandseeBaileyâsface Sheâsshivering,wearingonlyalongsleevet-shirtandboots Iâm at Baileyâs. Iâm still at Baileyâs. What the fuck is she doing in the cold like this?
Iopenthetruckdoorandhelpherinside,slidingoversoshecanjumpin.âWhatthehellareyoudoing,girl?You shouldnâtbeoutherewiththatankle.Youâllslipagain.â
Shechucklesunderherbreath,butthereâsaseriouslookonherface.âMydadâsasleep.Ithoughtyouleftme.â âImusthavefallenasleepouthereâ
âAndhedidnâtcomecheckonyou?â
Ishakemyhead âNah Thatâsnotweird,though ProbablythoughtIneededsomespace Hesayanythingtoyou?â
Sheshakesherhead.âNo,butthewayyoustormedout,Ifiguredhewouldâve.Whatwasthatabout?â âNothing.Didnâtmeananythingbyit.Howwasyournap?â
Shebitesherbottomlipandlooksawayasthoughsheâsannoyed âLonelyâ âYourdreamsdidnâtkeepyoucompany?âMyarmstretchesoutbehindherasshelookstowardme. âNo Ionlyhadonedreamâ
âWhatwasthat?â
âIdreamtthatthesnowmelted,andyouleftâ âWhereâdIgo?â
Sheshrugs.âDonâtknow.Iwokeupsad,didnâtseeyou,andIpanicked.â Myhandcupsherface,mythumbscrubbingagainsthercheek âYouâreokay Iâmrighthere Youhaveyourdad,too Hesaidyoudonâtlikebeingalone.â
âItâsnotaboutthat,thoughâSheslidesclosertowardme âIdidnâtwanttobewithoutyou âHergazemeetsmine âYouârebossy,youthinkyouknoweverything,andyoudonâtlistentoanyone,butyouârealsosweet,kind,andyoutakecare ofmeâAtearrollsdownherface âWhenyousaidyouhadfeelingsforme,Ilied Ihavefeelingsforyou,too WhenI soberedup,Irememberedthoseadventuresweâdgoonwhenmyfamilycameouttovisityouandyourbrothers.Doyou rememberwhenyoushowedmehowtosnowshoe?â
MyheartsqueezesandIpullhercloser âYeah Thatwasagesago Youwereyoungthenâ
Shenods.âYeah.So,whenIthinkaboutthethingswedidtogetherwhenIwasyoung,likeyoushowingmehowto useacompassormakingmehotcocoa,IfeelreallyweirdabouthowmuchIlikeyounow Itscaresthehelloutofmeâ Iâveneverfeltmoredisgustinginmylife.âItscaresme,too.Ididnâtmeanforthistohappen.â
âMeeither,butitdid.So,nowwhat?â
âWefigurethingsout,ifyouwantto.Ifnot,Iunderstand.â
Sheleansinslowly,andIpressagainstherlips,runningmyfingersthroughherhairasshepushesincloser.
Mycockishard,andIâveneededreliefforoveradaynow,butIâmnotpressinganything Especiallynotwithher fathertwentyfeetaway.Instead,Ilandmylipsalloverherbody.Onherneck,hercollarbone,andonthelobeofherear. Shekissesmeback,moaningasshemoves âWhyamIsodesperateforyou?â Igrowlagainstherearanddraginthevanillascentonherskin.âItâsunbearableforme,too.Weshouldstop.My cockisalreadyhard,andIdonâtknowifIcanholdbackthistime.â
Sheclimbsontomylapandtuckshersoreanklebetweenmythighandthedoor.Thetruckisstillrumbling,andthe heatthatwasoncecomfortingisnowtoomuch.âThendonâtholdback.Unzipyourjeansandletmesitonyourcock.â
âHere?No!Thefirsttimewehavesexwonâtbeinmytruckâ
âWhynot?âThereâsawhineinhervoicethatIwanttotakeaway.âIdonâtcarewhereweare.Ijustwanttofeel youâ
Iâveheldtheanimalinmebackforoveradaynow,andIâmprettyproudofthatconsideringhowbadlyIwanther, butthelastbaronthecageissnappingandIâmabouttoloseit.âIwanttofeelyoutoo,princess,butnothere.Comeon.Climb downâ
Shegrindsherhipsagainstmylapandleansintomyneck,kissingme,scrapingherteethagainstmyskin. Fuck!Thatwasthelaststraw
Igrowlandtearathershirt,pullinghertitsouttotouch,kiss,suck.Mybrainhasgonetostatic,andwecouldbe anywhere Thewindowsaretintedsonoonecanseeinside Ifthisiswhatshewants,Iâllgladlygiveittoher
Scrapingmyteethoverherhardnipples,Iletoutagrowlandtuckmyhandbetweenherlegs,palmingoverher soakingpantiesbeforepullingthemtotheside.Islidemyfingerinsideofherandwatchherlipsastheypart.
âThatfeelssogood Goharderâ
âYouâresotight,princess.Youâresofuckingtight.â
Sheleansintome,pressingherforeheadagainstmineasshemoansandthrustsagainstmyhand Fuckinghell!Ineedsomerelief.âYoureadytolistentodirections?â
ShelooksmeintheeyesandsighswithanacheIâmdesperatetocure âYeah,Iâmreadyâ
âWedonâthaveacondom.Youokaywiththat,too?Iâmclean.â
âIdonâtcare!PleaseâŚhurry!âshepants.
âGoodgirl Slidebackalittleandunzipmyjeansâ
ShebitesbackasmileanddoesasIask,pullingmycockoutwithhersmallhandwrappedaroundme.
Mybodystillsintormentassheslidestothesideandleansontomycock,wrappingherprettylipsaroundmygirth andslidingdownslowly.Idigmyhandsintoherhairandmoveherheadgentlyasshesucksandswirlshertongueinasloppy messallovermycock.Icantellsheâsneverdonethisbeforebutsomehowthatmakesitbetter.Sheâsunpredictableand movesinerraticpatternsthatpushmetotheedge.
âFuck.Fuck.Fuck,âIgrowl.âLeanback,princess.Ihavetotasteyou.â
âNo.Iâmnotdonehereyet.â
âYeah,well,anymoreofthatandIâllloseit.WhenIdo,Iwanttobeinsideofyou.â
Theanticipationtofeelhertightcoreisoverwhelming,butweârealreadyrushingthingsinthetruck Icanâtskip tastingher.
SheleansbackandpropshersoreankleonmybackasIliftherhipsandflickmytongueagainstherswollenclit âYoutastesofuckinggood,princess.â
HerhipsgrindupwardagainstmybeardandIâmthankfulforhermovementsbecause,whilethistruckisbig,Iâm bigtooandmovingaroundfreelyisnâtaseasy.Thatsaid,Idonâtwantthistoend.Iwantherprettylittlepussyscrubbing againstmyfaceforever.Iwanthermarkingmelikeafuckingtreeuntilitâsclearwebelongtoeachother.
Herthighstense âOhmygod IthinkIâmgoingtocome!â
âDoit.Beagoodlittlegirlandcomeonmyface.âIgrowlintoherpussyandscrapemyteethagainstherclitasshe worksmybeard
Sheâsbreathingheavily,dragginginairasthoughthereâsashortage.âOhGod,Rowan.FuckâŚâThepitchofher tonegetshigherandhigher,untilallatonceshescreamsout,squirtinghersweetjuicesalloverme
Mycockacheswithapainthatâsnearlyunbearableassheworksherwaydownofftheledge,movinghertired, twitchingpussyawayfrommeasIlickupthecomesheâsjustgiftedmewith.
Reachingup,Ipinchhernippleandstaretowardherassheleansbackagainsttheoppositedoorofthetruck âHow wasit?â
Hercheeksarepinkandsheâsstillpanting âYouârereallygoodatthatâ
âYoumovedyourbodythewayyouneedtomoveit.Ijustenjoyedmyself.â
Shelooksawayquicklythenbackagain.âIsitnormalthatIâmstillachingforyoutofillmeup?â
Igrowllowandpullhercloser.Iâmnotusuallyaguywhocancomewithmyjeanson,allbunchedupinatruck, though,Iâveneverreallytried.âClimbuphere.Iwantyoulookingatmewhenwedothis.Youreyesstayonmine, understood?â
Sheswallowshardandclimbsintoplace.âIâmscared.â
âWeâllgoslow Youâresureyouwantto,right?â
Herbrowsraise.âOh,IâmsureIwantto,butyourcockishuge.MaybeIshouldâvestartedoutonsomething smaller.â
âIliketheegoboost,butitâsnotthatbig.â
Shegripsmydickwithherhand.âIcanâtevengetmyhandsaroundit.Howâsthatfittinginsideofme?â
âWeâllgoslow ReallyslowâIcupherfaceinmyhandandkissherlipsgentlyassheedgesmytipathersilky entrance.Ashersoftmoundparts,takingmein,crampedupornot,Iâmgoingtocomeinherlittlepussy.
ChapterSeven Bailey Rowanisbigeverywhere.Hishands,hisshoulders,hisarms,histhighs,hiswaist.Themanisgargantuan.Hiscock isnoexception.GiventhefactthatIâvebeenachurchmouseuntilnow,Iâvetakeninafairamountofporntofamiliarize myselfwithactionsandmovesthatmightbehelpfullater
Thatsaid,Iâveneverseenadickthisbig.
IslideontoRowan,stretchingmyselfwideuntilheâsburieddeep Iâmgoingslowlikehesaid,butitstillpinches andburnsasIworkmyselfdown.
Hiseyescloseandflickeropenagain.âGoodgirl.Takethatcock,princess.â God,Ilovethewayhetalkstome.
âTakeadeepbreath.âHisvoiceislowandshakinglikeIâmdoingthingstohimthathecanâtcontrol.Ineverthought aboutthisaspectofsex Forsolong,gettingridofmyvirginitywasabouttheaction Buthere,ontopofthisgoliathofaman, Icanâthelpbutfeelsomuchmorethanhiscockspreadingmewide.Heâsattentiveandcaring,andthereâsmorethanphysical attractionmovingbetweenus
Suddenly,Iwanttomemorizethelookonhisfaceashefeelsmeforthefirsttime.Iwanttolearnthefeelofhis roughhandsastheyglideacrossmychestandontomyneck.Iwanttorememberthewayhisvoicesoundsashegrowlslowin myear.
âBounceforme,princess.Letmeseethosenipplesmove.â
HishandisonmythroatandmineishookedonthebackofhisneckasIbounceupanddown,backandforth, moaningastheintensityofthefrictionoverwhelmsbothofus.
âIneedtocome,âhegroanslow âFuck!Tellmeyouwantmycome Tellmeyouneedit Tellmeyouâremineâ
Thefrontporchlightflickson,andthoughIknowitâsmyfatherandthatshouldstopusbothinourtracks,itdoesnât. Thewindowsaretinted.Hecanâtseeinside.AtleastthatâswhatItellmyselfasIcontinuetoworkRowanâscock.
âIâmyours.Comeforme,baby.Ineedyourcome.Ineedyourcomeinsideofme.âIbounceharderandfaster, desperateforeverythinghehas.
âGoodgirl,âhegrowlsout Andwithinseconds,heâshowlingoutanorgasmasheatfillsmypussywithafloodof excitement.
Ishouldstopbouncing Myfatheriscrunchingthroughthesnow Ihearhim whichmakesmewonderifhecould hearus.
âOkay,princess.Hopdown.Yourdadisrightthere.âRowanâshandisonmyback,andheâsleanedagainstmy shoulder,exhaustedashetalks
Iwanttostop.Ireallydo.âIâmgoingtocomeagain.Ineedtocomeagain.â
Rowanliftshisheadandlooksupatme âFuck Donâtstopthen Getit Comeonmycocklikeagoodgirl Likea dirty,little,goodgirl.â
Thetoneofhisvoiceandthedesperationbetweenmylegscreateanenergythattakesmeoverthetop,andalmost instantly,ashatteringorgasmisshootingthroughme,leavingmeconvulsingonRowanâslap.
Nothing has ever felt so right
Atthispoint,myfatherisbangingonthetruckwindow,andIâmsuddenlyquestioninghowtintedthewindows actuallyare.
IglancetowardRowan âWhatdidwedo?â
Hiseyesarewide.âItâllbefine.Noonecanseethroughthesewindows.Buttonupandweâlltellhimwhatâsgoing onâ
âYouâregoingtotellhimwewerefucking?â
HelaughsandbuttonsuphisjeansasIslideoffofhim.âNo.Iâlltellhimweweretalkingabouthowtotellhim whatwefeel Imean,thatishowthisstarted sortofâ
Inodandleanontohislips,kissinghimgently.
âYoufeltsoamazing,princess Iâmsorrythisishowyourfirsttimeendsâ
âDonâtbesorry,ever.Iwantedthis.Iâmgladwedidit.â
Hisbighandsweepsovermyforeheadandontomycheek.âWeâlltellyourdadwhatâsup,andIâllholdyouall nightlong.Okay?â
IlovehowoptimisticRowanisaboutthis.Idonâtsharethesamepositiveenergy.Myfatherisagoodman,but datingsomeonesomucholderisnâtgoingtogooverwell Thefactthattheguyhappenstobehisfriendisgoingtoadd gasolinetohisreaction.
Rowankissesmyforeheadagain,andIslidedownoffhimasheopensthepassengersidedoorandclimbsout
Thereâssilenceandthenthereâsmore.Alotmore.
Ipushtheengineoffonthetruckandclimbdownintothesnow,carefulofmyankleasImove.âDad!Stop!â
Heturnsbacktowardme âNo!Itrustedthisasshole!Ilethimtakecareofmydaughter!Hemanipulatedyou!â Beingtheonlychild,myfatherhastakencareofmelikeawoundedbabybirdwhoneedstwenty-four-hourcare. HeâsconvincedIcanâtbealone,andhetreatsmeassuch Ishouldâvespokenupsooner,butIknewIgavehimpurpose AndI guess,Iwaslookingoutforhimtoo.
âDad,âIshifttowardhimslowly,holdingontotheedgeofthetruckasImove,âlistentome Rowandidnât manipulateme.Ifanything,Imanipulatedhim.âIlaughundermybreathasIthinkbackonthemovesIputonhimlastnightat thebar.âIlikehim.Heâsagoodguyandhemakesmefeelsafe.â
âSosafeheâsfuckingyouinthetruckwithyourfathertenfeetaway?âDadtakesoffhishatandthrowsitonthe ground.Thisisescalatingquickly.
Okay soheheardus Thatâshumiliating
Note to self: Donât do that again.
Rowanstepsforward âIdonâtknowwhattosay,man Thiswasnâtplanned,butIdonâtknowhowtostopitnow SheâseverythingI â
âSheâstwenty-four!âmyfatherscreamsasagrowlbubblesuphisthroat.
âIknowâRowanreachesoutformyhand,steadyingmeinthesnow âItâsweird,anditâsprobablyfuckedupas hell,butIcanâtstopit.Idonâtwantto.SheâsperfectandIneedher.â
Myfatherclapshishandstogetherandlooksawayblowingheavyfogwithhisbreathinthefreezingnight âSo thatâsit?Youtwoarejustdoingwhatyouâredoingandfuckeverythingelse?WhathappenswhenhegoesbacktoAlaska?â
Ihadnâtthoughtaboutthatinawhile.Iwasgoingwiththeflow.âIdonâtknow.Weârestillfiguringoutallthe details,butIloveyou,Daddy.IâmfallinginlovewithRowan,andIneedtoseewherethatgoes.â
Myfatherâseyeswiden,andhischeeksturndarkred.
Rowanturnsmetowardhim âIâmfallinginlovewithyoutoo,princessâHekissesmyforeheadandpullsme againstthewarmthofhischestwhereeverythingissafe,andtheworldisperfect.
âWhereâsthekeystoyourcar?âDadsaysashestaresatme âIneedtogetoutofhereâ
âWait!Youâreangry.Letâstalkthisover.âIreachoutforhim,buthebouncesuptheporchandintothehouse, comingoutwithmykeysbeforeIcangrabhim.
âNo.Iâmnotanygoodtotalktorightnow.Iâlltakeyourcar.YouhaveRowanhereifyouneedanything.Wecan talklater.â
âPlease Donâtgolikethis Wecanfigurethingsoutrightnow,âRowanadds,squeezingmetighterinsupport âThereâsnothingtofigureout.âDadopensmycardoorandlooksbacktowardus.âYoutwofeelhowyoufeeland Iâmgoingtohavetogetusedtoit Thatsaid,itâsgoingtotaketime Andrightnow,Idonâtwanttolookatthetwoofyou together,soâŚIâmgoinghome.âHeclimbsdownintomycar.Itâsweirdtoseemydadinacarsosmall.Usually,heâsinthe pickuptruckthepolicestationgavehim.
âItâsgoingtobeokay,âRowanwhispersinmyearasDaddrivesaway âHeâsagoodman Heâllcometohis senses.â
IturnbacktowardRowan âWillhe?HehadapointaboutAlaska Youhavetogobackeventuallyâ
âIdo?Whatifwestayedheretogether?Wecouldputthatadditiononyouweretalkingaboutandexpandtheranch. Imean,Icouldhunt,fish,andbuildthingsjustaseasilyhereasIcanupNorthâ
Heatswellswithinmeatthethoughtofwhatthefutureforuscouldbe.Ahousefullofkids,alittleranchofour own,holidayswithlaughterandlove.âWhataboutyourbrothers?â
âWeâdgobacktovisit Theyâdcomehere Weâllmakeitworkâ
Tearsstreakdownmyface.âReally?Youâdcomeallthewayhereforme?â
âEasilyâHeleansdownandkissesmylipsgentlybeforeliftingmefromtheground âNowletâsgetyouinsideand restthatankle.IhavemoretroubleIneedyourestedforlater.â
IleanmyheadagainsthisshoulderandfallintohisarmslikeIneverhavewithanyone Mydadwillcometohis senses,andweâllironthingsout.Itâswhatwedo.Butrightnow,Iâmgoingtoenjoyeverysecondoffallinginlovebecause lovewiththisgiant,feelsreallydamngood.
âOkay,theseAlaskandudesneedtogohome.âMybestfriendRubycallsasIstaredownattheplansRowandrew uptoexpandthecabin HeâsspentthelastweekandahalfputtingthemtogetherandIloveeverysinglethingaboutthem Threeadditionalbedrooms,asecondbathroom,andanexpansiontothelivingroomandthekitchen.Itâsplentyofspaceforus togrowinto âIgetthatyoumarriedoneandyouâreallinloveandstuff,buttherestofthemareassholesâ
âHowso?â
âWell,thebigonewiththegraybeardandtheflannelcamedowntothelibraryyesterdaydemandingmapsofthe mountain.âSheclearsherthroat.âDemanding!â
âDidyouhaveany?â
âYeah,butthatâsnotthepoint Idonâtowehimanything!â
âMaybehewasjustasking.â
âOkay soyouâreimpossibletotalktonowâ
âSorry.Iknowtheysuck.â
Shelaughs.âYoudonâthavetofakeit.IlikeRowan.Heâsagoodguy.Iâmsuretheyallaredeep,deep,deep,deep down,butmaybetheycouldshowit.DidyouhearaboutHudsongettingintoafightatthebarlastnight?Apparently,hegot intoitwithMr.Kellerabouttrespassing.Thatâswhytheywantthemaps.âShegasps.âOh,notonlythemaps,buthewantsa guidetotakehimoutthereandMrs Robinsonsuggestedme,becauseapparently,Icampallthetime?âHertoneisangsty âHavenâtcampedinyears,andwhenIgo,Istayatthepark.Iâmnot⌠no!Iâmjustnot.â
âIâlltalktoRowanandseewhatheknows Iâllcallyoulaterâ
âNo,donâtdothat.ItâllsoundlikeIâmcomplaining.Iâmnotcomplaining,really.Iknowthebearneedstogoand Iâmthankfultheyârehere.IjustâŚoh,yourdad.Hestoppedmeatthemarketyesterdaytoshowoffpicturesofthewedding likeIwasnâtthere.Seemslikeheâsdoneafullthreesixty.â
Rubyâsallovertheplace,allthetime.Iloveit.Itâswhatmakesher,her.
âYeah,heâsfeelingbetter Ithink Hehashismomentsstill,butheâsbeenreallysupportiveforthemostpart Why donâtIinviteHudsontodinnertonight?Youcancometoo,andweâllsmooththingsoverandgetyouguysontherighttrack.â
Sheclearsherthroat âUmm nope IthinkIâmgood Thereâsnothingtosmoothover Doyouknowtheweirdthing is,Ithinkheâsfollowingme.â
âWhat?Maybeyoucouldâveledwiththat?â
âYeah,well,Isawhistruckoutsidemyhousetheotherdayandagainatthedinerâ
âLetmetalktoRowan,oratleastletmetellmydad.Ifheâsfollowingyou,someoneshouldstophim.â
âItâsfine Iâmprobablycrazy Really,IdonâtevenknowwhyIsaidanything Shit!Thedeliveryguyjustgothere I havetointakethesebooks.Callmelater.Loveyou!â
âLoveyou,too Textmeimmediatelyifhecomesaroundagainâ
Sheagreesandwedisconnecttheline.
âEverythingokay?âRowanmeetsmeatthetable.
âYeah,Ithinkso Whatdoyouthinkaboutyourbrother,Hudson?â
Rowansbrowswrinkle.âWhy?â
âDonâtsayanythingbutIthinkhemightbefollowingRubyâ
âReally?Doesnâtsurpriseme.Thedudeisalittleunhingedandincrediblyobsessive.Ifhegetsfixedonsomething, thereâsnotellingwhatlengthsheâllgoto Heâsnotdangerous,butofcourseIâlltalktohimâ
Inodandtipupontomytoesforakiss.âIlikethehouseplansalot,especiallythislittlespotinthebedroomfora spatub.Howlongdoyouthinkitâlltaketofinish?â
Herubshishandovermystomach âIreckonwecanhaveitallfinishedbythetimeourbabiesareontheirwayâ âBabies?Weârehavingbabies?â
Rowannods âIwashoping,ifyouâreupforitâ
Ibeamandstareuptowardhimlikehehungthemoon.âIâdlovethat.â âGood.âHeliftsmeintohisarmsandcarriesmebacktowardthebedroom.âLetâsgetstarted.â
Foryears,Idreamtaboutloveandmarriage.Ifantasizedaboutalifewithamanwhoadoredmeandwantedthe samethingsIdid.NowthatIhaveit,lifeisbetterthanIcouldâveimagined.AllthankstoafewshotsofRuggedMountain whiskey
Khloe Summers istheauthorofoveronehundredshortandsteamyromancetitles Herbooksarewritteninmanydifferenttropes,butalwayscontain growlyolderalphas,curvywomen,andlotsofsteam
Khloeliveswithherhusband,(whosheaffectionatelycallsDaddy)insunnyFlorida Theyspendmostoftheirfreetimesinkingtheirtoesinthesand,eatingtoomany pizzas,andholleringobscenitiesattheTVonfootballSunday.(Atleasthedoes.ShesitsonthesidelinesandquietlyordersnonsenseoffAmazon.)
Beforethislifeisover,KhloewouldliketocheckeverythingoffhersexybucketlistandvisitSouthAfricatowrestleevilpoachersintosubmission.(Andmaybeseesome babyelephants)
HEAGuaranteed.
Read Bonus Scenes at
www.authorkhloesummers.com
ChapterOne Ruby Iusedtolovethattvshow, âSurprise Delivery.â NotbecauseIenjoyedtheheartwarmingstoriesofallthelovelypeople thatwerehavingbabies,butbecausetheyweresomehowninemonthspregnantandmanagedtohideitfromeveryone.
How did their closest friends and family not notice they were eating like an ox left out to pasture? How did they not notice their bellies expanding to the size of planet Earth? How did a close friend not pick up on a major hormonal shift?
Turnsout,itâsnotthathardtoconceal Anoversizedhoodie,apocketedcomebacktoserveinatimelyfashion,and stayingawayfromeveryoneasmuchaspossible.Yeah,thatâlldoitâŚandnooneisthewiser.
Idraginadeepbreathandleanbackintheoversizedlibrarychairwhosestuffingissupposedtomakeitmore comfortable,butinreality,onlymakesthechairimpossibletogetoutof.Itâsamistakesittinghere,butmyfeetarekillingme, andthisistheonlyoption.Well,IguessIcouldgototheofficeandsitintheswivelchair,butthenIwouldnâtbefrontand centertohelptheassholeIseemakinghiswaytowardme
HudsonLaskin.Themanisatleastsixfootandseveninchesofhairy,pure,Alaskan,goliathnonsense.Isweartheman wakesupinthemorningtopisspeopleoff
âIsawyouatthegrocerystoreyesterdayandthedinerlastnight.Whatâsyourdeal?â
Helaughsandbrusheshishanddownoverhissaltandpepperbeard. God, this man really is full of himself âItâsa smalltown,littlegirl.Donâtflatteryourself.â
âLittle girl? Iâmnotalittlegirl.â
Hecocksabrow âYoulookprettylittletomeâ
âSo,whatdoyouwanttoday?Idonâthavetimeforthis.âIthinkaboutstrugglingupandoutofthischair,butIfearthe embarrassment,soIstayput
âYou.Alibrarianofanemptylibrarydoesnâthavetimetohelpme,evenwhenImadeanappointment?âHistoneis deep,butarrogant.Whyisthatturningmeon?Iscanhisbroadframequickly,notingthetruckerhathewearswithatractoron thefrontandtheflannelhekeepsrolledtothesleevesdespitethefactthatitâsfreezingcoldoutside.Heâsprobablyshowingoff alltheink.
Ifhewereevenahairlessattractive,Iwouldnâtevenspeaktohim Butheâshotasfuck,soIguessIâlldomyjob
âIforgotabouttheappointment.âIshimmytotheedgeofmychair,tryingtobalancemyweightandalsoliftmyselfup withoutascene,butIfallbackwardintothepileoffluffagainbeforeIâmabletostand Itâsnotpretty Thisiswheremy crimsoncheeksmaketheirentrance.
Helaughs.âYouneedhelp?â
Inarrowmygaze âDoIlooklikeIneedhelp?âWrongthingtosay âDonâtanswerthat Iâmfine Thischairjust âI pushupinonefinalshoveandmakemywaytoastandingposition.âItsucksyouin,isall.â
âRight,well,Iâmhereformaps Ineedafull,detailedversionofthemountainwithallthepropertylinesclearlylisted Wedonâtwantanymoretrespassingtrouble.â
Irollmyeyesandwaddlepasthim,dragginginthescentofcedaronhisclothes Hesmellslikehewaschoppingwood thismorning.
Whydoesthatexciteme?
Hormones Hormones Hormones IrepeattheremindertomyselfasIpullthemapfromthedrawer âYouârenever goingtogetthatbear.Hemockseveryoneintown.â
âAllduerespecttoyouandeveryoneelsehere,weâreusedtotakingdownbig,menacinggame Wegetintotheanimal's mind.Welearntheirtacticsandwetakethemoutbeforetheyknowwhatâscoming.â
Ishouldnâtbellylaughrightnow,butIdo âYougetintotheirmind?AreyouaJedi?Yousoundridiculous Bearslike Kodadonâtmakeplansandkeepthem.Theyâreerraticandunpredictable.Thatâswhyheâsnothibernating.â âYounamedthebear?â
âYeahâIshrug âPeoplenamethings Sowhat?â
âYoudoknowthatKoda meanslittlebear,right?â
Irollmyeyes âWell,ifthebearhasaproblemwiththat,hecanbringitupwithmanagementâ
HudsondragsinadeepbreathasthoughIâm themostannoyingpersonontheplanet,whenitâsclearasdaythathe is. Whenhiseyesaredonerollinginsarcasm,hetakesthemapfrommyhand,andlaysitoutonthenearbycounter.Hishuge, roughhandlandsonthedrawinglikesandpaper,scuffingacrossthesheetashetracesaline.âWethinkhemovedafterthe stormandheâsinthisterritoryoverhere.âHecirclesaspotonthemapnearthemines.âWeneedtolurehimoffprivate propertyandintotheforestsowecangetashotwithoutmoredramaâ
âIknowthefolksthatownthatland.Theyâllbewillingtohelp.Iâmsureofit.â
âNoâHeglancestowardme âNomoreprivateproperty ItâsmessyâHescansmeupanddown âWhoâsthatguythat
wasinhereyesterday?Theonethatwasyelling.â
Myjawdropsandmyeyeswiden.âWhat?Whywereyouhereyesterday?â
âIwaswalkingby,andInoticedaguy Youwerehavingaheateddiscussion Whoishe?â Igasp.âYouare followingme!Iknewit.You â
âFollowing you? Followingimpliesthisisahabit,littlegirl Itâsnot Isawsomethingyesterdayonmywaybacktomy truckisall.â
âAndtheotherdayatthediner?Andatthebakery?â
âItâsasmalltown.â
Icanâthelpbutlaugh.âAreyouserious?â
Hestaresbackwithoutaword
Okay, now Iâm freaked out. âYoushouldgo.â
Heleansin,bringingthewoodsyscentoftheforestwithhim âNotuntilyoutellmewhothatmanwasâ
Irollmyeyesandbackaway,thoughthesubtleaggressivenessofallthishasmyclitthrobbinglikesomewalllicking, mentalpatient âIfyouweresoconcernedaboutit,whydidnâtyoucomeinandask?â
âYouseemedtohaveyourselfhandled.IwaiteduntilhewasgonebeforeIleft.â âSoâŚyouarewatchingme?â
Hesmilesandrollsthemapupinhissandpaperhands,tappingtheedgesonthecountertoeventhetwist âYouârefunny Takecare,littlegirl.Youshouldnâtletassholestalktoyoulikethat.Youeverneedhelpgettingridofhim,callme.âHewalks outthedoor,wideandstrong,tallandsureofhimself Butaboveallelse,arrogantasfuck
Mythighsacheandmynipplesgrowhard. What the actual hell just happened?
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