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Savage Protector Rugged Mountain Goliaths Allrightsreserved
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ChapterOne Bailey Woodenstoolsbuttupagainstabrassfootrailatahighcounter.ATVisaffixedtothewallanda footballgameissetwithoutthesound.There’snosmokingallowed,butthescentofcigarettesandcigarsfromdaysgoneby lingersintheairwiththebeerthat’sontap Mulletstandsbehindthecounterservingdrinks Isupposehehasa‘realname,’but everyoneintowncallshimMulletbecauseoftheKentuckywaterfallhesportsunderhishuntingcap.
“Anothershot?”Henodstowardme,andIgivehimtheokay It’sonlymysecond,butI’malreadyfeelingbuzzed Whiskeydoesthattome.
Heslidesafreshglasstowardme,andIshootbackthegulpandaskforanother.
“Damn,girl.Breakupordeaddog?”ThemannexttomepassesMulletatwenty-dollarbill.“Herdrinkisonme,and I’llhavethesame.”
“GuessIshouldaskyouthesamequestion”
Helaughsandstudiesmecloser.“Hey,aren’tyouthatgamewarden?”
Iglancetowardthemanandsquintbeforesuckingdownmyfourthshot Ishouldstophere Tenminutesfromnow,I’m goingtobeamess.“Andyou’reoneofthoseAlaskanswho’vecometosaveusall.”Mytoneissarcastic.“IfI’mhonest, you’reprettybraveforcomingtothebaronaFridaynight.You’renotverylikedaroundhere.”
“Oh,Ilikeachallenge.”Hesmirks.“Name’sRowan,andIthoughtsmalltownsweresupposedtobenice.”
“Wearenice!”IknowI’veseenhimuponthemountainsincetheygothere,buthelooksfamiliar.LikeIknowhimfrom somewhereelse,butIcan’tplaceit Maybethat’sthealcoholtalking There’snowayIcouldknowthisguy I’dremembera nearlyseven-foot-tallgiantwiththickarms,wideshoulders,andinkcoveringhisbody.Iscandowntohisbig,roughhands.I’d rememberthosetoo
For a second, I wonder what it would be like to have them all over me.
Thishastobethealcoholtalking.There’snothingattractiveaboutamanthatcomesintotownandtakesoverlikehe ownstheplace.Though,inhisdefense,hiswholefamilyisthesameway.
Iglanceaway,willingawaytheachethat’sgrowingbetweenmylegs. I need help. IalwaysgethornywhenI’mdrunk, andRowanlookslikethekindofguyyoudon’twanttomessaroundwith ifIwereeventhemessingaroundtype,whichI’m not.Hell,thereasonI’mhereisbecauseI’mnotthemessingaroundtype.
Though, maybe it’s time that era ended Ishakemyheadinanattempttogathersomesense,butanimageofthegiantAlaskanbendingmeoverthebarflashes intomymind.
Okay,nomoreshots I’mofficiallygone
“Peopleheredon’tseemthatnicetome.MybrothersandIhavebeengettingshiteverywherewego.”Histoneislow andgraveled
Good Lord, he’s hot.
Ittakesmybrainasecondtocomprehendwhyhe’ssaidthis,consideringI’velosteverythreadofourconversationand replaceditwithhimbendingmeoverthecounter,pullingmyhair,andsmackingmyass.
Finally,itdawnsonmethathe’stalkingabouthowpeopleintowndon’tlikehisfamily… I think “That’sbecause you’recausingtroubleeverywhereyougo Thisisasleepytown Peoplelikeorderandkindness Welookoutforeachother” “Andy’allinvitedushere,so…”
“So?”
“So…youshouldtreatusbetter.”
“Treatyoubetter?Wewelcomedyouin,gaveyouacabintostayinfreeofcharge,andeveryoneIknowhasdroppedby withfoodandgiftstowelcomeyou.Howmuchbettercouldyoubetreated?”Itwistmystooltowardhimwitheveryintention ofbeingangry,buthistattooshavemesalivatingbeforetheangerhasachancetoboilover.Thiswouldn’thappenifIwere sober
Myeyesscandownoverhisarm.He’scoveredinsymbolsofsomesort,maybeViking.It’shardtotellinthisdimlight. Partofmewantstorollupthesleevesonhisflannelandlookcloser,butIdivertmydrunkenstaretothetruckerhathewears that’sfrayedalongthebrim.
Why did I have that last shot? Thismanisclearlyeonsolderthanme,he’sajerk,andhe’sunlikedbyeveryoneIlove. Nopairofjeansoroversizedbicepscouldmakeupforthat.
“You’vebeensendingthreatsthrougheveryoneyouknow.”Helaughsunderhisbreath.
“So,isthatwhyyou’rehere?Yourfamilysentyoutotakemedown?BecauseI’mdoingmyjob,Mr Laskin That’sall Andrightnow,I’mhavinganendoftheweekdrink.So,ifyou’llexcuseme.”Iturnaway,butthemancontinues.
“Morelikeendoftheweekdrinks andno,you’renotdoingyourjob Yourjobistowardenthehunters We’rehereto
savethetownfromamenacingbear.Weareallowedadvantages.”
Ilaughandspinoffmystool,standinginfrontofhim.Evenwhilehesits,he’sbiggerthanmestanding.“Mr.Laskin,I appreciateyourdedicationtobullshit,butIplantoannoythehelloutofyouandyourfamilyuntilyoufollowtherulesofthe hunt.”
“Whenananimalbecomesamenace,allmeansnecessaryshouldbeusedtotakehimdown Thatbearcould’vekilled someoneatthelodgeonNewYear'sEve.”
Ihitchmyhipandlayintothesarcasm “Someoneleftthedoorcrackedtothekitchenandthe bear,wholikesto eat, cametogetsome food.It’sabear.Itdidn’tgettherulebookonwhatfoodwasacceptabletoeatandwhatwasn’t.”
Rowanstands,toweringoverme.Lord,hesmellsgood,likehe’srolledinpineandcedar.“Right,”hegrins,“andI supposehedidn’tgetthememoaboutrunningintotraffic,messingaroundinthetrash,orthatcarhebrokeintolastweekend in broad daylight. Therewerechildrenplayinginthearea.Whatwouldyoufeelifsomethinghappenedtooneofthem?”
Ihuffandrollmyeyes “Youknowthatwouldbeterrible AllI’maskingisthatyoustayonthewestsideofthemountain andcapturehim.That’swhywecalledyouguys.You’resupposedtobeexpertbeartrappers.”
Hecloseshiseyesandblowsoutaheavybreathbeforelookingtowardmeagain “Forthehundredthtime,weneed accesstotheentiremountain.Youdon’tgoverneverything.Thelandownersdo.”
Iknowhe’srightaboutsomeofthat.“Ican’timagineanyoneintownisgivingyoupermissiontohuntontheirproperty.”
“Peopleintownwantusgone,sowe’regettingalotmorecooperationthanyou’dthink Dadthinkshehasthebear trackedovertotheKellerproperty.Ifwecanlurehimoutofthecavesupthere,weshouldbegoodtogo,andwe’llbeoutof yourhairinnotime Whatbonedoyouhavetopickwithusdoingourjobonprivateproperty,anyway?”
Ilaughundermybreathandstandfrommystool.“YouknowwhotheKellersare,right?”
“Sofar,they’vebeenthemosthospitablefolksintown.”
“Yeah,well,I’drethinkthatifIwereyou.ThomasKelleristhefatherofJune…thegirlyourbrotherhasbeencreeping on.Besides,areyousurethetrackingevidenceisreal?IcouldseeMr.Kellerasthekindofguywho’dmesswithallofyou. Youknow,huntingaccidentshappenallthetime Privatelandisagoodplacetoteachabunchofoutoftownerswhoare messingwithhisdaughteralesson.”
Rowanshakeshishead “You’recrazy Juneisanicegirl,andmybrotherlikesher That’sall AndMr Kellerisan honestfarmerwhodoesn’twantaneight-hundred-poundgrizzlyonhispropertythreateninghisanimals.Theend.Youshould reallygethomeandsoberup.You’restartingtosoundlikeoneofthoseconspiracytheorists.”
Ihuffoutaheavybreath.“Whateveryousay.Justtryingtohelp.I’velivedupheremywholelife.Iknowthesepeople likethebackofmyhand.”
Hestaresdownatmewithdarkbrowneyesandahalfsmile Iwanttoslapitoffhisfaceandtastehimallatonce
“Thanksforthehelp,princess.We’vegotthiscovered.Alaskansaresomeofthemostprivatepeopleontheplanet.Ican readaroom”
Ifhecouldreallyreadaroom,he’dknowhowbadlyIneededhimtotouchmerightnow.
“Don’tcallmeprincess.”
“Queenie?” Helaughs
“HowaboutyoucallmeBailey,consideringthat’s my name? Betteryet,callmeMs.Barone.”
“Barone? That’smybuddy’slastname Maybeyouknowhim He’sacopintown GenoBarone” Myheartswellsandsinkstothebottomofmystomach.“Yourbuddy?GenoBaroneisyourbuddy?”
“Oneofmybestbuddies Wegowayback HeusedtobringhisfamilyouttoAlaskaforbiggamehuntingbeforehetook apositionouthere.Turnsout,smalltowncopsdon’tgetmuchofabreak.”
“What?Whydidn’tyouevervisit?”
Rowan'sheavybrowswrinkle “Personalinvestment?Youknowthisguy?” Iblowoutaheavybreath.“He’s…myfather.”
Rowan’sfacecontortsintovariousshapesbeforehefinallyspeaks “Your father? HowisGenoyourfather?I’d rememberyou.”
“Yeah Well it’sreallynotimportant,isit?MyfatherisapoliceofficerintownandI’mthelocalgamewarden So you’redoingthishuntbymyrules,Mr.Laskin.”Igrabmyjacketoffthehookbeneaththebarandpullitovermyshoulders. “Theend.”
Iturnandwalktowardthedoor,desperatetoscrubthismanfromeveryfantasyI’vebeenhaving Heholdsmebymyarm.“What’sthisreallyabout?”
Thisisreallyaboutalotofthings,butIdon’tsayanyofthem Instead,Ilaughandpullmyarmawayfromhisgrip Hestaresatmeasthoughhe’suncoveringtheyearsandtryingtoplacethetruth.“Fuck!Yougrewupfast.”
“Okay…”IwavegoodbyetoMulletbeforeglancingbackatRowan.“I’llbeintouch.”
Hisweightcomesupbehindme,butIkeepwalkingthroughthebar,twistingsidewaystoavoidpeopleasImakemy waytowardthefrontdoor.Hotornot,Ican’twantamanwho’sfriendswithmyfather,especiallyamanwhojustnotedhow
fastIgrewup.
Gross!
Thenagain,wouldmyfatherhavetoknowifwespentasinglenighttogether?Rowanistheperfectmantotakemy virginity.He’sbig,rough,coveredinink,andhe’sleavingtownthesecondthisbeariscaught.There’snopressuretosayhito himonMainStreetwhenwe’rebothgrabbinggroceriesandwe’llneverbumpintoeachotheratthediner
Mythighsache,andwhileItrytoconvincemyselfthatthisdoesn’tmakesense,thealcoholkeepsgivingmereasonsthat itcouldwork
JakeleftmebecauseIwouldn’tscrewhim.Iknowthatforafact.Hescreamedatmeandlistedoffmyprudishwaysfor metoabsorbearlierthisevening.Wespentmonthstogether,andIhadnodesiretotouchhim,letalonehavesex.Ithoughtthere wassomethingwrongwithmeuntilIgotheretonight,andRowansatnexttome MaybeIjustneededalcoholallalong Whiskeydoesmakemehorny.
Blah!I need to get a grip
Ipullopenthebardoorandagustofcoldwindblowsinwithit.Good.That’sjustwhatIneedtogetmyselfincheck.
“Holdup,”Rowan’sdeepvoicecallsfrombehindme
Iturnbackinthedimlightofthenightandstareupathim.He’ssobig.Agoliath.Ahuge,inkedupmonsterofamanthat Iwanttotouchmeeverywhere.
Mybreathcatches,andthoughI’mrepeatingtheword‘stop’inmyheadoverandover,Ileanupontomytoeslikethe feralgirlIamandkisshim.
Liponlip,Ikissthismanlikeawildheathenwhohasnorespectforrulesororder
Hisbighandslandonmyshouldersandthenmywaist.Heliftsmefromtheground,andIwraparoundhimashecarries metowardhistruck.I’veneverbeenliftedsoeffortlesslyinmylife.
Myclitthrobsandmyhearthammers. What the hell is happening?
Ishouldwanthimtostop.Ishouldn’thavestarted.He’smydad’sfriend,he’snotatallageappropriate,andhe’sabout tomakeamessofthetownIlove
YethereIam,hopingwithallmyheartthatthismandoesbad,badthingstomyfather’sdaughter.
ChapterTwo Rowan
“Howmuchhaveyouhadtodrink?”Istaretowardthewomaninblackwho’sleaningagainsttheinsideofmytruckdoor likeshewantstodevourme.Thisisn’tsomethingthathappensregularly,soI’mnotsurehowtoreact.
“Itdoesn’tmatter Touchme!”Shesighsandgrabsmyhand,runningitoverhersmooththigh Fuck.
IliketothinkI’magoodman,butrightnow,I’dliketoignoreeveryrighteoussoundrattlingthroughmyheadandletmy handwanderupbetweenherlegs.
Igroanundermybreath.“Oh,Iwantto,princess,butsomethingtellsmeyou’dregretallthatinthemorning.”
“No,Iwouldn’t.”Sheslidesclosertomeandtucksundermyshoulder.“Wedon’thavetotellanyone.Ijustwanttoget thisoutoftheway.”Shesighsandleansagainstme.“Youknow,likeanostringsthing.Whatdopeoplecallit?”
“Aone-nightstand?”
“Yeah.Oneofthose.”Shenuzzlesintomyneck.“It’snobigdeal.You’releavingtownsoon,anyway.”
Thoughtsoftyingherlittlewriststothepostsinthebarnconjure,butIpushtheminfavorofsomethingless aggressive.“Doyouhavesomethinggoingon?Why’dyoucomeouttonightandgetsodrunk?”
Shesnifflesandpushesawayafewtearsbeforeslidingovertotheothersideofthetruckbench.“Nothing.”
“Nothing?So,thisisnormalforyou?AroundherethegamewardenfortheareacomesintotownonFridays,gets loaded,andhitsonrandomguysuntilshecan’tstand?”
Sheglancestowardme,thenawayagain “WhatdoesitmatterifIdo?”
“Itdoesn’t,justwonderingifI’mspecialorifyoudothisontheregular?”
Hereyesroll “You’dloveitifIsaidyouwerespecial,wouldn’tyou?” Ishrug.“Kindof.”
“Well,you’renot.MystupidexcalledmeaprudethismorningandI’mdonewithit.You’rethefirstguyIsaw.” Ilaugh.“Nottrue.Yousawlotsofguysatthatbar.Yousingledmeout.”Mytoneisplayful,andit’sclearlypissingher off.Forsomereason,I’mgettingoffalittleonthat.“Whyareyouaprude?”
Shedragsinadeepbreathandletsitoutslowly “I’mavirgin Anillusivetwenty-four-year-oldvirgin” Fuck. Iclearmythroat.“Okay…andwhat…youweregoingtoseducemeintopoppingyourcherry?”
Hereyesroll “God!Whosays‘popping your cherry?’I’mgladI’mcomingtomysenses”
“Metoo.I’mnotthekindofguyyouwantdeflowering you.I’mroughand ” “Ugh.Juststop. Deflowering? No.No.No.I’msorryforthis.I’mgoingtocallforaride.”
“Don’tberidiculous You’realreadyhere I’lltakeyouhome”WhyamIalittlebummedthatI’vefuckedupthis imaginaryscenariowhereIslideintoBailey'stightlittlepussyforthefirsttime? Because I’m sick, that’s why.
SnowfallsheavyonthewindshieldasBailey’sshoulderslower “Actually,thatmightbenice Ican’tcallmyparents They’reoutoftownonananniversarytripuntiltomorrowandmyfriendRubyisbabysittingherniecetonight.God,thisis embarrassing”
“Whatis?”
“ThatIhavenofriends.”
Ibitebackasarcasticcommentonhowthat’snotthemostembarrassingthingofthenight “Where’syourcabin?”
“UponEchoRidge.It’saboutanhourfromhere.”Sheshiftshergazeoutthesidewindow.“Areyousureyoucould evendoit?Idon’tthinkwecouldbeonmoreoppositesidesofthemountainandthestormismovingin”
“AreyousuggestingIleaveyouhere?”
Sheglancesoutthewindow “Yeah,I’llbefine I’llfindsomeonegoingmyway Maybehe’lltakemypayment”
“Knockitoff.”Istartupthetruckandcranktheheatbeforeflickingonthewindshieldwipers.“Buckleup.I’mnotgoing toleavemybuddy'sdaughterdrunkatthebartofendforaride.”
“Sothat’swhatIamtoyou,yourbuddy’sdaughter?”
“Shouldyoubemore?”
“I’mthegamewarden,”shelooksatthedashandbackagain,“who’smadeacompleteidiotofherselftonight” Iflickontheblinker,pulloutontoMainStreet,andintotheincomingstorm.“Itcanbeoursecret.Besidesthat,everyone isallowedafreakoutatleastonceayear.Itwasyourturn.”
“It’sJanuary.I’mnotsureIcanholdinthecrazyforelevenmoremonths.”
“Well,yougotitoutofthewayearly.That’sapositive.Andbythesoundsofthings,youditchedsomedeadweight. Soundslikethisguyyouweredatingwasaloser Ifyoudidn’twanttotouchhimafterthreemonths,that’sasignthatthings weren’theadedintherightdirection.”
“Whataboutyou?Ineedsomedirtylaundrytoevenoutthisconversation”
“Don’thaveany.SqueakycleanAlaskanrighthere.”
“Right.I’llbelievethat… never!You’reagiant.Womenlovethat.Theymustbethrowingthemselvesatyouallthe time”
“Likeyoudid?”Ilaugh.
“Again,whyamItalking?”
“Didyounotthrowyourselfonme?”SnowfallsheavierasIdriveupthemountain.Thisstormiscominginfast.
“I’mdrunk,soit’sdifferent”
“Differenthow?”
“Differentinthesensethatallmyreasoningisclouded, obviously Anyway,youweresaying.” Ihuffoutaheavysigh “Womendon’tthrowthemselvesatme Infact,you’rethefirsttodothat”
Shenarrowsherbrows.“Youknow,mymotheralwaystaughtmethatliarsgettheirmouthswashedoutwithsoap.Isthat whatyouwant?”
“It’strue.Womenstopandlook,buttheydon’tapproachme.”
Shegrins “So you’regoingwiththeintimidationangle Interesting Thatmustbesohardtobestaredatforbeingbig andhandsome.Iwouldn’tknowwhatthat’slike.”
“Youwanttobestaredatforbeingbigandhandsome?”
“Ha Ha”Shestaresatmeandrollshereyes “No,butbeingstaredatalittlewouldbenice” Igrin.“IwasstaringatyouwhenIcamein…beforeIrealizedyouwerethegamewarden.”
Sheglancestowardme “Whatever”
“Iwas.”Igrin.“You’reworthasecondglance.”
“That’ssuper.ThanktheLordI’mworthasecondglance.”
Ican’thelpbutlaugh.“Isn’tthatwhatyouwantedtohear?”
“So,you’resimplytellingmewhatIwanttohear?”
IcanfeelmyeyesgrowingwideandmynostrilsflaringasIsay,“ThisiswhyIstayawayfromwomen” “Asecondago,thewomenwerestayingawayfromyou.Whichisit?”
Iglancetowardher,thenbackatthesnowyroadthat’scurvingupthemountain IgrewupinnorthernAlaska I’mused toshitroads,butthisstormisputtingupaprettygoodfight.“Enoughaboutme.Tellmemoreaboutthisvirginthing.Whatmade youdecidetosaveyourself?”
Shescoffsatmyquestionandcrossesherarmsoverherchest.“Well,I’mstupidforone.” “What?No,you’renot.It’s…admirable.”
“Admirable?” Sheglancestowardme,andthoughIcan’tlookback,Ifeeltheheatofherstareonmyframe “It’snot admirable.It’saridiculousconceptthatIshould’veditchedwiththerestofmyfriendsinthetenthgrade.”
“No,Ireallydothinkit’sincrediblethatyou’resavingyourselffortherightperson”Mymindshouldn’twandertothe placewhereIfantasizeabouthowtightshemustbeorhowsoftandsilkysmoothherskinis.Ishouldn’tgototheplacewhereI thinkaboutslidingintoherforthefirsttimeandmakinghermine.Ishouldn’tgotherebecausethatplaceisforfuckingperverts andthat’snotwhoIam “Youshouldbeproudofit”
“ProudofthefactthatIcan’tdotheonethingeveryoneelsedoeswithoutthought?I’mnot.Iwantitoffmymind. Honestly,Ijustwanttogetitoverwith”
“Yeah.”Istareoutthefrontwindow,watchingthesnowfallthroughthedarknessastheheadlightsguidetheway.My mindshouldbeontheroad Instead,it’slostsomewhereinthoughtsaboutholdingBaileycloseandshowingherwhatit’slike tobetouchedforthefirsttime.
“Yeah,what?Areyousuddenlywillingtohelpmeout?”She’sstilldrunk.Ifshewasn’t,shewouldn’tbeasking.
“I’dliketomorethanyouknow,butwebothknowdeepdownthat’samistake”
“How?You’reaman,soyoumustbehorny,andI’macutelittlevirginwhowantsyoutotouchme.”Shebatsher eyelashesandlandsherhandonmylap “Whatmandoesn’twantthat?Youhelpmeouttonight,andcomemorning,wenever talkagain.”
“Except wehavetotalkagain You’rethegamewarden,andyou’reupmyassabouteverything,remember?That andyourdadhasbeenalifelongfriendofmine.”
“Or…youforgetweeverfiguredthatoutandyouputagirloutofhermisery.”
Avehementyesscreamsfrombehindmyzipper,butmybrainisstillshuttingthewholeideadown Nogoodevercomes fromcasualsex,butshe’snotwrong.I’mnotintownforeverandherfatherdoesn’thavetoknow.Hell,webarelyseeeach otheranymore What would one night change?
“Sorry.”Shescrubsherhanddownoverherface.“I’macompletemess.Iprobablysoundlikesuchaloserthrowing myselfatyou.”
“You’renotaloser.Igetit.Ijust…whatifyouregretit?Weshouldwaituntilmorningandreassesswhenyou’re sober.”
“Howmanypeoplehaveyoubeenwith?”Shepullsthequestionoutofnowhere. “Oh.I,ugh,Idon’tknow.Afew.Notmany.”
“Notmany,likesix,ornotmany,likeforty?”
“Forty? No.Notforty.Ahandful,butit’sbeenawhile.Itoldyou,Idon’tdothewholecasualsexthing.Andatthis point,I’mlookingforsomethingreal”
“Whatdoes real mean?Likeafamily?”
“Yeah Thewholepackage,youknow?I’vefuckedaroundmywholelife IthoughtIwantedtobealone,butnowI realizeIneedmore.Unfortunately,Iprobablyrealizedallthattoodamnlate.”
“Thisismyplace.”Shepointstoalittlecabinsetbackinthewoodswithwhitelightstwinklingonthefrontporch. Smokebillowsfromthechimneyassnowcontinuestofall WhenI’veofficiallyparked,ItellhertostayinplacewhileIcome helpheroutofthetruck,butshedoesn’tlisten.
“Nope”Shepopsopenthetruckdoor “I’mnotsome ‘ open the door for me ’ kindofgirl I’manAnnieOakleykindof girl.Gunsblazingandshit,yaknow?”Shehopsfromthetruckandgoesdowntothegroundimmediately.
Silence
WhenIreachtheotherside,she’sonherback,staringupatthesnowasitfallsontoherface.Mybrothersaregoingto diewhenItellthemI’vespentthenightcounselingthedrunkengamewarden.“Youalright?”
“Yeah”Shesitsupandattemptstostand,butfallsbackagain Ireachouttohelp,butshepullsawayinfavorofthetireofthetruck.“I’mfine.Icanhelpmyselfup.”
“Right,well,youmightwanttodoitsoonerthanlater Youdon’tneedfrostbiteontopofeverything”
Whenshe’sstanding,shehobblestothedoor,andliftsontotheporchwithalimplikeshe’shurtherankle.
“Areyouokay?”
Shenods.“I’mfine.”
“Youdon’tseemfine.You’rewalkinglikeyou’rehurt.”
“Well,I’mnothurt I’mperfectlyfine,so we’regood Youcangonow Thankyouforyourhelp,andforthe conversation.Ifyouchangeyourmindabouthelpingmeoutinother ways,though,I’mreadyandwilling.”Herwordsare slurred
“Yeah,IthinkI’mgoingtocheckyouranklebeforeIleave.”
Sheglancestowardmeandunlocksthefrontdoor.Inside,thescentofcinnamonandvanillafillthesmallcabin.There’s agentleglowfromthefireplace,andthoughsmall,thecabinisdecoratedanddesignedtomakethebestuseofeverybitof space.
“Howlonghaveyouliveduphere?”
“Twoyears.Mydadbuilttheplaceforme.Someday,I’mhopingtoaddtoitormaybeexpandthelittleranchI’ve started Rightnow,Ionlyhaveafewchickensandagoat,butI’mhopingforhorses Anyway,I’mfine,really Youcango Thankyouforbringingmehome.DoIoweyougasmoney,ordoyoutakeother forms of payment?” Shesmilesacute, mischievousgrin,likeshe’sspeakinginacodeImaybeabletofigureout.
“Sitdownandletmelookatyourankle,please I’dfeellikeanassifIleftandyoubrokeit”
“It’snotbroken,butifyouinsist.”Shegrins.“Isthissomekindofforeplay?Ifitis,I’mdown.Thedoctorthinghas alwaysgottenmeoffalittle”Shesitsbackonthecouchandslidesoffherboot,givingwaytothedarkestshadeofpurpleI’ve everseenonhumanskin.
“Shit ”
“Well,that’snotwhatyouwanttohearfromDr.Feelgood.”
“Thisisgoingtohurtlikeabitchinthemorning.”Ipressonherankle,feelingforbrokenbones,butshedoesn’twince, andIdon’tfeelanythingoutofplace Thatsaid,I’mnotadoctor
“It’sjustbruised.ItwisteditalittlewhenIwentdown,butI’mfine.Noreasonforconcern.”
“Really?Okay,well ”Istandfromtheedgeoftheottomanandmakemywaytowardthekitchentograbaclothforice cubes.
“Youreallydon’thavetodothis I’mokay Besides,thestormisgettingworse Youshouldgoifyou’regoing Getting aroundthismountaininasnowstormlikethisisadeathsentence.”
Isettheiceonherankleandgrabmyphoneoutofmybackpocket.“IshouldcallmydadandlethimknowwhereIam. MybrotherswereatthebarsoI’msuretheysawmeleavewiththegamewarden IfIdon’tgetaheadofthis,everyonewill createtheirownstoryofhowI’mfuckingeverythingup.YouokayforasecondwhileIcheckin?”
Shenodsandliftsherownphone,scrollingthroughitcasuallyasIstepoutonthefrontporch Thewindwhipsthe newlyfallenpowderacrossthefieldandswirlsinfrontoftheporch.
“Hey.”
“Whereareyou?”Myfather’svoiceiscurtanddark.I’maforty-five-year-oldman,butwe’reheretodoajob,andI knowhe’spissedI’mnottherewiththefamily.“Atlassaidhesawyoutakingthegamewardenhomefromthebar.You
shouldn’tbemessingaroundwithher.”
“It’snotwhatyouthink.Shewasdrunkandsheneededhelp.Ijustbroughtherhome.”
“Andyou’restucktherenow Theyjustclosedtheroads Nounnecessarytravel” Ilaughundermybreath.“Well,Ididn’thaveachoice.So,everything’sfine.”
“No,it’snot Thepeopleintownalreadyhateus Weneedtofollowtherules You’restuckuntiltheylifttheban You knowyourbrotherslooktoyouforanswers.Ifyoustartbeingashithead,they’llfollowsuit.”
“Idon’tthinkthat’sthecase Ithinkthey’lldowhattheywant”Honestly,Ineedtothinkofagoodreasontoleavethis housetonight.IfIstayhere,I’llbetheonemakingbaddecisions.There’snodoubtaboutit.
“Doyouhearme?”myfathergroansintothephone.Thisisthepartwhereworkingwithfamilyistough.“Thatbearis probablytuckedawayrightnow,andthere’snothingouttheretotrack Getrested,don’tfuckher,andwe’llcatchupinthe morning.”
Idon’tmakeacommenttothe‘don’t fuck her’ thingbecauseIknowhe’sright “Copy Callyouinthemorning” HedisconnectsthelineandIheadbackintothewarmthofthecabin,bringingwithmeawhirlofsnow. Baileyisleaningoverherankle,pressingontheswollenpartsasthoughshe’sassessingherselffordamage “Icanmove it,sothat’sgood,right?”
“It’sgoodyoucanmoveit.Fromhereitlookslikeabadsprain.We’llkeepituptonightandiceit.Inthemorning,I’ll takeyoutothedoctorintown”
“No,that’sfine.I’vesprainedmyanklebefore.Icanrestitforafewdays.Besides,that’salongdrivebackhereforyou inthemorning IfIneedthedoctor,IhavefriendsnearbyIcancall”
“Actually,itwon’tbeadrivebecauseI’llbehere.”
“What?”Herfacepales.“Why?Didyoudecidetotakemeuponmyoffer?”
“Theyclosedtheroads.”
Herbreathhitches.“Well,thisisgoodnews.Theroadswerebadonourwayup.Nowyoudon’thavetoworryabout that”
“Icansleeponthefloororoutinmytruck.Iknowit’snotideal.I’msorry.”
Shedragsinadeepbreathandletsitoutslowly “You’reamassiveman Youcan’tsleepinyourtruck,andI’mnot lettingyousleeponthefloor.”
“I’lltakethecouchthen.”
Shelaughsandstandsfromthesofa.“Thisthingwouldn’tholdoneofyourfeet.I’llsleepouthere,andyou’lltakethe bed.Agoodportionofyourlegsmighthangoff,butatleastyou’llbemildlycomfortable.”
“Thanks,butIcan’tdothat It’syourbed,andyou’reinjured Youneedyoursleepifyou’regoingtogetbetter”
Shelooksdownatherpurpleankle,thenbackupatme.“Okay,you’reprobablynotwrong.So,sleepwithme.”
“You’reanaggressivelittlething,aren’tyou?”
“Notusually.Whiskeygivesmewings.”
Ilaugh.“Well,sleepingwithyouwouldbeahorribleidea.”
“Why’sthat?”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah”
Iscrubmyhanddownovermybeardandglanceaway.“Well,yourofferisverytempting,andwhileIknowit’srightto waitthisout,Idon’ttrustmyselfalonewithyou inabed”
Shesinksherhandintomineanddragsmetowardthebackofthecabin.“Whichisexactlywhyyou’resleepingthere.”
ChapterThree I’veneveractuallysleptwithaman.MyexandIdidn’tdosleepoversandI’veneverbeencloseenoughtoanyoneelse forittomatter.Howsadisthat?I’mnearlyathirdofthewaythroughmylifeandIhaven’tevenhadamanlaybesidemein beduntilnow
ThankGodforwhiskeyorImaynotevenhavethis.Well,thankGodforwhiskeyandforRowan.Rowandidn’thaveto goalongwithanyofthistonight,buthedid There’ssomethingabouthavingagoliathofamansleepingnexttomethatmakes everythingalittlebitbetter.He’swarm,andthoughhe’sstuffedapillowbetweenus,theheatfromhisbodysurroundsme.
Icuddleintotheblanketandtrytoforceawayfantasiesofpleasure,butRowanisallIcanthinkabout.Hisbroad shoulderscoveredinink,hissolid,hairychest,thewayhetalkslikehe’ssosureofhimself.Hisbig,roughhandsandtheway hetouchedmyanklesogently.Isighandclosemyeyesinanattempttothinkofanythingelse.Trolls,dolphins,theamountof shovelingI’mgoingtohavetodotomorrow,thisankleandallthepainthat’screepingupmyleg MaybeIshouldseeadoctor Ishoulddefinitelyseeadoctor,butnotformyankle.MaybeforanMRIoraCTscan,whicheveristheonethatchecks yourbrainfunctions
Rowanshiftsbesideme.Hisweightmovesthemattressandshiftsallthebedding.I’vemadesuchanidiotoutofmyself tonight.AndthoughIlovethathe’shere,thepatheticnatureuntowhichI’vegottenhimhereisjust…weird.Ishouldprobably steerclearofallalcoholinthefuture.Thenagain,alittlemoreandmaybeI’dhavegottenhimalltheway.
Damnit,girl…no!That’sstupidandirresponsible.
TherhythmofRowan’sbreathissteadyandslow He’sfallenasleep Iwonderifhe’sdreamingaboutme Ifheis,it’s probablyanightmare.Aterrible,awfulnightmareaboutawomanthatkissedhimwithoutpermissionandluredhimintoher bedduringasnowstorm
This is who I’ve become. Who can I thank for this? The church? My parents? The books I read about the evil that would happen if I broke my chastity outside of marriage?
IclosemyeyesandtryandimagineanythingbutRowan’slipsonmine,butI’monlydivertedbyhishandsonmywaist. Heleanedintothatkiss.Maybehewantedtokissmetoo.Thenagain,maybeIshouldn’ttrustmemoriesIhadwhileIwas drunk ThesethoughtsspincontinuouslyuntilI’mdriftingintodarkness
Idon’tknowwhattimeitiswhenIwakeup,butwhenIrollover,Rowanisawaketoo Iopenmymouthtotalk,buthisfingertiplandsonmylips.“Doyoustillwantthis?” Inodbreathlessly,myclitthrobbing,myheartpounding.
“ThendoasIsay”Helaysbackandmovestheblanketawayfromhisgiantframewherehisthickcockstandsat attention.
Oh God, what’s happening?
Mythighsacheandnothingelseintheworldmatters.Notmyankle,notthesnow,notthefactthathe’smyfather’sfriend, nothing Iwanthim,hewantsme,andthat’sallthereistoit “Takeoffyourlittlepanties.Iwanttoseeyourpussy.”
I’mpantingasIstammer,“Yes.”Islidethethincottondownovermylegsandgetontomykneesforhim.Hisbighand palmsovermeandathickfingerslidesin,pumpinginandoutofmycoreashestaresstraightatme “Goodgirl.Nowsitonmyface.Ridemybeard.Iwanttofeelyouonme.”
MaybeIshouldhesitate,butIdon’t IclimbupontohisfaceandmounthisbeardasIbenddownandsuckhisgiant cock.
I’mnotsurewhatIlikemore,histongueagainstmyclit,orhisdickpushingagainstmycheek Hemoansandgrowls againstmeasthoughhecan’tgetenough.Isighinresponseoverandoveragain,takingallofhiminuntilmythighsshake againsthisbeard.
“You’resoakingwet,princess Turnaround Iwanttoseethoseprettytitswhileyoubounceonmycock”Histoneisso deepandraspythatInearlycomealloverhimrightthenandthere,butIdoasheasksandsitonhisdick.Slowandsteady,I lowermyselfdownashespreadsmewide
I’veneverfeltanythinglikethis.He’ssobig.He’sso,sobig.
Iblowoutabreathandtakemoreofitashegrowls,“Goodgirl.Goodfuckinggirl.Spreadyourlittlepussyovermy cock…justlikethat.Takeitall.Takemycocklikeagoodgirl.”
I’vebarelygottenthefirstquarterofhiminwhenherubsmyclitwithhisfingertipandgroans.“You’resoakedforme.” HisfreehandgripsmybreastandpinchesmynippleasIcontinuetolowerontohimandbounce Ishouldtakelonger.Ishouldenjoyeverysensation.Hisroughskin,hisgiantbody,thewayheholdsme,thewayhe growls,thewayhiscoarsepalmsfeelagainstmyskin Instead,Irockharderagainsthiscockandhishand,closemyeyes,and
come.ExplosionsdetonateinmyheadandsparksbreakthebarrierbetweentimeandspaceuntilI’mlostinauniverseIcan’t describe.
Rowanholdsmefrombehindand behind? WhyisRowanholdingmefrombehind?Iwasjustridinghim Myeyesopen,myhandisbetweenmylegs,andI’msighingoutloud.
“Bailey,areyouokay?”Rowan’sdeepvoicegritsintomyear “You’removingaroundalot Ithinkyou’rehavinga nightmare?”
Webothknowthosenoisesweren’tthesoundsofnightmares
Istopallmovementlikeapossumplayingdead.DearGod,whatdoIdonow?HowdoIexplainthisaway?I’vejust givenmyselfanorgasminmysleep.WhothehellknowswhatIsaid?Whatdidhehear?
“Areyouokay?”heasksagain Hesoundsalittlegroggy Maybehewasasleep Maybehedidn’thearanything,orhe can’tmakesenseofitanyway.“It’stimetogetup.I’llgomakesomecoffee.”
Coffee? Icouldusecoffee
Hishandleavesacoldspaceonmyskinbeforeherollsawayandhisweightliftsfromthebed.Astheshadesbend open,heyells,“Fuck!”
Irollontomyback.“What?”
“There’slikefivefeetofnewsnowouthere.”
“Fivefeet?Really?”Desperatetoprovehimwrong,andchangethesubjectcompletely,Iditchtheconcernaboutmy dreamandstandfromthebed,hoppingtowardthewindowwhereIseeatleastfivefeetoffreshpowderysnow.“Shit.”
“Yeah I’mgoingtobehereforawhile Weshouldgetcomfortable Itcouldbeaweekbeforetheyhavetheroadsclear totown.”
“Aweek? Idon’thaveenoughfoodforaweek.”
“Well,goodthingyouhavemethen.Ihavemyhuntingandfishinggearinthetruck.I’llgetoutsideaftercoffee.Afterthat dreamyouhadlastnight,soundslikeyoucouldusesometimealoneanyway.”Hesmirks.
He smirks!Heknowsitwasn’tanightmare
MyfaceheatsandI’msureit’sashadeofcrimsontheworldhasneverseen.“What?Iwasdreamingaboutbears.They werebeingtrappedand ”
“Yeah,metoo.”Heholdsbackaperfectsmile,glancesdownatmyhardnipplespokingthroughmyt-shirt,andwalks towardthekitchen.
I’veneverfeltsoseen,andunfortunately,that’snotagoodthing.
ChapterFour Rowan
I’montheicenexttoadrilledholewithmypoleinthewater,waitingforabite.I’mnotsurehowmanydayswe’re goingtoneedfishfor,butIassumeit’sgoingtobemorethanone,soI’mgoingtobeouthereforawhile.
It’sprobablyforthebest IfIgoinsideandseeherpuffynipplespokingfromunderthatshirtagain,I’mgoingtoturninto ananimalandthat’snotgoodforanyone.Besides,sheseemedratherembarrassed.I’vebeendrunkbefore.Iknowhowhard thenextdaycanbe Spacewilldousbothsomegood Myphoneringsinmypocket.It’smyfatherwithanearful,I’msure.
“How’sitgoingoverthere?”Hedoesn’tsoundasirritatedashewaslastnight,butthatdoesn’tmeananything. “Good.Fishingrightnow.Looksliketheroadsaregoingtotakeafewdaystoclear.Whataboutyou?Youguyshave everythingyouneed?”
“Ohyeah We’restockedhereformonths We’llprobablybegivingthisstuffawaywhenwegetthisbearinthenext week.How’dlastnightgo?”
“Lastnight?”AflashofBaily’snipplespebbledunderhershirtstiffensmycock “Good Noissues I’llbeoutofhereas soonastheplowcomesthrough.”
“Great.Hudsonhasbeenintouchwiththelocallibrarian.He’shopingtogetsomemapssowecangettheareasurveyed incasethetipwiththeKellerpropertydoesn’tpanout.”
Usually,I’mtheonewho’sgivingeveryonedirection.It’shardtobesofarawayfromthejob.Thenagain,Ican’twaitto gobackwiththesefishandstareatBaileyfortherestofthenight Theviewismuchbetterthantheoneofmybrothersbackat thatcabin.
“Soundslikeyouguyshaveagoodhandleoneverything I’llbebackassoonastheroadsareclear”
“Staywell.”Myfathergroansandhangsuptheline.He’sneverbeenanoverlytalkativeman,buthedoeshaveaway withpeoplethatmakeseveryonefeelatease…everyonebuthischildren.
AtugcomesontothelineafewminuteslaterandIreelinmyfirstcatchoftheday.Alaketrout.He’sonthesmaller side,maybearoundsevenpounds.Afewmoreoftheseandwe’llbesetforafewdays.Icanalwayscomebackdownifwe runlow
Ifishforanotherfewminutesbeforemyphonevibratesagain.ThistimeIdon’twanttoanswer.It’smybuddy,Geno, Bailey’sfather IcontemplatewhatI’llsay,butnothingsoundsgoodenough,soIletthecallgotovoicemail onlyforhimto ringagain.God,maybeheknowssomething.
What’s there to know? We didn’t do anything.
AllI’vedonesofarisprotectherfromtheelementsandmakesureshe’ssafeandsoundhereatthecabin “Hey,buddy.What’sgoingon?Everythingokay?”He’sacop,soI’msurehesensesthetensioninmyvoice.
“Ah,yeah I’mstuckoutonRidgeRoad WasonmywayuptocheckonBaileyandthesnowmobilequitonme IswearI domoreworkonthisthingthanridingit.Iwaswonderingifyouhadanyoneinthefieldthatyoucouldsendovertohelp.”
“Icanmakeacall We’vegotacoupleofguyswhomightbeabletohelpyouwithyoursled Asfarasyourother concern,I’mactuallyoveratBailey’srightnow.”MyheartstopsasItalk.
“Youare?”Histonestiffensashesays,“Why?Didn’tknowyoutwokneweachother.”
“Wedon’t,really Sheneededaridehomefromthebarlastnight,andbythetimeIgotusbackhere,thestormhad kickedin.We’rewaitingitoutnow.”
Hepauses,thenspeakswithwhatsoundslikeanxiety,“Fuck Well,atleastIknowshe’ssafewithyou Iwasworried abouther.Shegetsfreakedoutinthestormswhenshe’ssnowedin.Don’taskmewhyagirlwithafearofbeingalonedecided toliveoutinthemiddleofnowhere,butshedid”
“Ahwell,she’snotalonenow.” Why did I say it like that? “Anyway,Icancalltheoldmanandseeifhehasanyone availablewhereyou’reat,butI’mthinkinghecalledeveryoneinwiththestorm.”
“Ifyoucan IthinkI’llstartwalkinginthemeantime Iknowaguyafewmilesawaywhocanhelpoutthatdoesn’thave acellphone,butIwastryingtoavoidthewholedeepsnowthing.”
“Whydon’tyouletmecallyouarescue?”
“Toodangerous.It’smyownfault.Idraggedmyselfouthere,soIcangetmyselfback.Thanksforkeepinganeyeon Bails.I’mgladyou’rethere.”
Ihaven’tdoneanythingwrong,butguiltsettlesinanyway.“Yougotit,man.”
“Oh,andshelikesplayingcards.Ifshestartstoloseit,thatmighthelp.”
IfBaileywereheretolistentothisconversation,hereyeswouldberollingbackinherhead Somethingtellsmethatgirl doesn’twanttoplaycards.“Gotit.Sendmeatextwhenyou’rebackhome.”
“Willdo,man Staysafe”
“Same,buddy.”ThelinedisconnectsandIgobacktopullingfishoutofthewaterwhileIcontemplateeverythoughtI haverunningthroughmyhead.
Bailey’snipples,thesoundsshemadelastnight,thewayherlipsfeltagainstmine,theinnocentwaysheaskstobe touched,theguiltylookonherfacethismorningwhenshe’ddreamtaboutustogether.Shedidn’tconfirmit,butI’mnotsure sheneedsto Ihadthesamedreams Thesamefeelings Thesameachebetweenmylegs Thatsaid,ifitwasn’tclearbefore, hearingGino’svoiceconfirmsmythoughts.She’sofflimits.
Theicecracksandacoldbreezeblowsacrossthelake Iglanceuptogaugethedirectionofthewindfromthetreetops, butthereinfrontofmeissomethingmuchmorepressing.
Fifteenfeetaway,standingontheiceisagrizzlybear,theonewe’reheretohunt.Theanimal’smouthopens,itsteeth bare,andagrowlreleasesloudandhot
Ipickupmygunfromthegroundandstareatthecreature,aimingtokill.
Thisiswhatwecameherefor Thisoversized,menacingbeast He’spresentedhimselftomeasthoughhewantsthisto beovertoo.
“Don’tshoot Please!”Baileyhollersfromthehouseandthebeartakeshisattentiontowardher Fucking hell!
“Pleasedon’tshoot,”sherepeats,slowerthistime.
“WouldyouratherIwrestlehimdown?”
“No.Maybejustlethimgo.”Hervoiceistrembling.
What the hell?
“Lethimgo?He’sgoingtokillme!”I’mstillstaringatthebearasItalk,thoughinreality,heseemslessinterestedinme andmoreinterestedinthefishinmybucket.
Baileyhollersagain,“He’sjustlivinghislife!Pleasedon’t!”
Sothat’swhatthisisabout?Shedoesn’twantuskillingthebearatall?
Why the hell do I want to listen to her? Why do I want to let this big bastard go? I shouldn’t We’re here to do a job Everyone in town wants us gone. So, then why do I want to listen to her? Why don’t I want to shoot this animal? Why do I want to go back inside and hold her knowing I did what made her happy?
No.Icameheretoshootabear,soI’mshootingthebear.
Icockmygunandaim,suckinginadeepbreathbeforeIpullthetrigger. “Please!”sheshoutsdownfromthehouse.“Please!”
Thebear,whocouldn'tcarelesswhatthreatIamtohim,amblesovertomybucket,andcarriesitoffasthoughI’ve fishedjustforhim Threelaketroutandasideoflivebaitlost
“Fuck!”Ithrowmygunovermyshoulderandmakemywaytowardthehousewithnofood,myauger,mypole,anda rumblingstomach
Theworstpartis,Ikindoflikeherconvictions.Thebackwardswayofherthinking.Thepartwhereshe’safucking gamewardenwhodoesn’twantmetokillabearthat’sterrorizingthetown.Theyshouldwriteaboutherinpsychology journals Thewomanwhoagreestohunting,butonlycertain animals
IhavesomanythingsIcandebateregardingthis,andwhenIstepuponthefrontporch,Ido.“Whatmakesthatbear’s lifeanymoreimportantthantheelkinmyfreezer?”
Sheopenshermouthandclosesitagain.“Elkaren’tprotected.Grizzlieshaven’tbeenseeninColoradoforyears,and ”
“Right…becausethey’redangerousandpeopleshotthem.IfIhadacoupleofkidsplayingoutbacktoday,I’dliketo knowtherewasn’tagrizzlybearlurkingaround.Wouldn’tyou?”
Shesighs “You’retwistingmywordsaround Thatbearhasn’thurtanyone He’sjusthungry” “Heshouldbehibernating.”
“Buthe’snot Maybehe’sspecial” “Special?He’sspecialalright.Youcan’ttellanyonethisstory.I’llgetrippedapart.”
Shebitesbackagrinandpretendstoziphermouthclosed “Imadeyousomethingtoeat”
Mybrowswrinkle.“Yousaidyoudidn’thavefood.Andwhatareyoudoinguponyourankle?Youshouldberesting.”
“Iliveinthemiddleofnowhere.Ofcourse,Ihavefood.Notalot,butsome.Andmyankleisfine.Istillneedtomove.”
“Thenwhydidyoutellmeyoudidn’thaveenoughfood?”
Shetwistsherlonghairtothesideandsitsatthetableshe’sset.“Ifwe’restrandedfordays,Idon’thaveenough. You’retheonethatranoutsidelikeyouwereonfire”
Istaredownatthemealshe’smade.Tomatosoup,sandwiches,andshe’sevengotacoffeecakesetonthecounter.Now thatI’vewarmedup,it’shardtomissthesavorysweetscentcirculatinginthesmallcabin. Leavingmybootsandcoatatthedoor,Isettleatthetablewithahuff.“What’sgoingon?”
Shedipshersandwichintothesoupandtakesabite.“Whatdoyoumean?”
Ilaughundermybreath.“Protectingthisbearisn’tgoingtoworkforlong.Mybrothersdon’thaveathingforyou.They won’tbeasforgiving.”
“Youhaveathingforme?”
Fuck.Thatcameoutwithouttrying.Idraginadeepbreathandtakeabigbiteoffood,keepingmymouthfullaslongas possible ThelesstimeIhavetospeak,thebetter Baileysmiles.“Whendidthathappen?”
Ishakemyhead “Imisspoke I’mheretoprotectyoufromtheelementsandyourself So Ihaveathingwith you With you.”
Hergringrowswider.“No.Yousaidyouhadathingfor me.Whichalsoexplainswhyyouranoutthismorning.” “IranoutbecauseyouhadsomecreeperdreamaboutlosingyourvirginityandIwasthestar” “Oh, you werethestar?”Shesmilesandlooksaway.“Ithinkmaybe I was.Itwasmedoingallthesuckingandriding so ”
“Dirtywordsforasobergirl.Youputwhiskeyinthatsoup?”
Sheshakesherhead “Nah,justfigureImayaswellshootstraight We’restuckhere,youadmittedyouhaveathingfor me,andI’mstilldesperatetolosethisv-cardI’vebeencarryingaround.So…”Herlipspurse.
Thisisn’thappening.
Ilookdownatthefoodonthetableandstuffanotherbitein I’mnotevensurewhatittasteslikeaseverydropof consciousnessIhavehasgonetomycock.“You’replayingwithfire,princess.”
“AmI?WhathappenswhenIplaywithfire?”
Mycockisuncomfortablyhard,andit’stakingeveryounceofenergyIhavenottotieherupandmakehermine.“Keep going,you’llfindout.”
Shetakesalongsipofwaterandstarestowardme.“Iwantyoutotellme.Everydetail.”Herbackisstraightinthe chairandhernipplesarehardandpoking.
Fuck!
Iswallowhardandsipdownagulpofwaterbeforeglancingbacktowardher.“You’resureyouwanttoknow?” Herlipspartasshenods
“Whatifit’srough?Idon’twanttoscareyou.”
“IthinkI’dlikeitrough.Ifantasizeaboutitthatway.”Hertoneisbreathy,andsheresituatesinthehardwoodenchairas thoughshe’suncomfortablyachingforrelease.
“Well,Ihadadreamlastnighttoo.”
“Whatabout?”
“Youwerenakedinfrontofme.Thosebig,heavytitshangingformetosuck.Yourprettypussyoutformetotouch.”I hangontothewordsandwatchherexpressionunfold She’sexcited Shelikesthedirtytalk “Whathappenednext?”
“Itoldyoutogetonyourkneesforme.”
“DidI?”
Inod.“Youdid.Youputyoursoftlipsonmycock,andyousuckedmedrywhileIheldallthatprettyhairback.” “Youcameinmymouth?”
Inod.“Andthenyouletitdrainoffyourtongueandspillalloveryourprettylittlebody.”
Hercheeksarepinkandthetiniestofsighsreleases “Thenwhat?”
“Ineededmore.So,IstoodyouupandItiedthoselittlewriststothecornerofthebed,andImassagedyourclitwithmy lips.”
Shesighs,louderthistime,rubbingherhipsinsmallinadvertentcirclesI’mnotsuresheevenrealizesshe’smaking “I likethat!”
“Yeah?You’dlikeitifIateyourlittlepussy?”
Shenods.“Iwould.”
This is dangerous I’m so fucking hard and desperate for her that I’m going to make bad decisions There’s no doubt about it. How can I come back from this? Why did I start this? Whatever made me think rattling off fantasies would be a good idea?
“Whathappensnext?”Hertoneisstillbreathless,herlipswetandparted
“Well,Ieatthatlittlepussyuntilyou’rewetandslippery.ThenIputyouonyourbackattheedgeofthebedandIslide intoyourwarmlittlecenter,wrapmyhandaroundyourthroat,andfuckyouharduntilyou’recomingonmycocklikeagood littlegirl.”
Shestaresatmeunblinking,andIwonderifI’vegonetoofar.Alumpmovesdownherthroat.“Ineedtocome,Rowan.” Iblowoutaheavybreathandforcemyselftothinkoftheobstacles,butnoneofthemwork.Firstandforemost,her father.Thentheage.ThentherealitythatIhavetoleaveforAlaskawhenthisbeariscaught.“WhatifIdon’twantyouforone
night?”
“Whatdoyoumean?Wehavehoweverlongthestormkeepsusin.”
“Maybethat’snotenough”
“What?Youcan’tstandme.We’recompleteopposites.Don’tmakethismorethanithastobe.”
“Lookatme”Istandfromthetableandmovetowardher,reachingforherhanduntilshe’sstandingwithme,staringup asthoughshemightexplodeifIdon’ttouchher.
“What?”
Iswallowhardandleanintoherlips,brushingmineagainsthersgentlybeforepullingawayagain.“You’renotthekind ofgirlsomeonefucksandwalksawayfrom.You’redifferent.”
Shesighs “I’mtiredofthat Iwantyoutofuckmehard Andthen,Iwantyoutowalkawayandkeepmeinthebackof yourheadlikesometawdrylittlememoryyouhadwiththevirgininthemountains.”
Ishrug “Ican’tdothat Iwanttoknowyoubetter Iwantto ”
Aheavythudhitsthedoorandwebothglancetowardit.Nooneshouldbehere.There’snounnecessarytravel,andeven iffolkscould,theywouldn’tbegettingfarwiththeamountofsnowontheground
Baileylookstowardme.“Ithinkthat’smyfather.Whywouldmyfatherbehere?”
MychesttightensandIletoutaslow,laboredbreath,unsureofwhattosay.Ihavenofuckingclue,butIthinktodayis abouttogetevenmoreawkward
ChapterFive Bailey Myfathersitsonthecouchwithonelegcrossedovertheother.Theblackflannelhewearseverywhereiswrinkledup onhischestandthet-shirtbeneathitisstainedwithwhatI’mguessingisbreakfastsyrup.Myfatherloveshispancakes.Heand Rowanshootcommentsbackandforthlikethey’reoldfriends I guess they are.
Whatthehell?Whydoeslosingyourvirginityhavetobesocomplicated?Ithoughtwomenweresupposedtohavesome kindofpowerovermen.MaybeIdon’thaveit.MaybeI’mtheonewomanonEarththatmencan resist.Makessense consideringI’vebeenthrowingmyselfatRowanfortwodaysnowandI’vegottennowhere.
Maybeit’sgoodmyfathershowedup.Ineedasoliddoseofreality.
“Sorrytoshowupunannouncedlikethis,cupcake.DidRowantellyouaboutthesnowmobiletroubleIwashaving?” IglancetowardRowanandthentowardmyfather “No Whathappened?”
“Themotorwentoutagainonmywayuphere.Barrygavemearideonhissledandyourcabinwascloserthanmine. So,IthoughtI’ddropbyandkeepyouguyscompany ItwouldhavebeenanhourbackandforthforBarrytotakemebackto myhouse.”
“Yeah…ofcourse.You’realwayswelcome.Anywordonwhentheroadswillbecleared?”
“Notuntiltheweekendbythesounds.Though,Iknowtheycalledacoupleofplowsinfromthecitytohelpout.”My fatherrubshishandstogetherinanattempttoheatthemup.“Howareyoutwodoing?Funnyhowyouranintoeachother.Sorry Ididn’tmentionknowingRowansooner Youtwocould’vehookedupbeforehandandmadeaplantogetthisbear”Dadlooks towardRowan.“Mygirlhereisthebestgamewardenthismountainhaseverseen.”
Rowangrinsandglancestowardme “That’swhatIhear”I’mthankfulhedoesn’tripintomeagain “Thepeoplein townaren’tourbiggestfans,buthopefullywe’llbeinandoutofherequickly.”
“Yeah,sorryaboutthat.”Dadbrusheshishanddownoverhisbeard.“Usually,thesefamiliesarerealwelcoming.Ithink afewofyourbrothersgotoffonthewrongfootwithsomefarmersregardinglandaccess.Folksarerealsensitiveaboutthatin theseparts,butyouknowhowitgoes.”
Rowannods “Yeah Ithinkitwasamistakeontheirpart They’vetriedapologizingbutpeoplearepissed”
“Folkswillcomearound.Giveittime.Whenyoucatchthatbear,they’llhaveaparadeforyou.Hewasseendowntown lastnighttryingtogetintothebakery Mrs Robinsonmadesome ‘Wanted’posterswiththebear’spicture Everyoneloves Mrs.Robinson,andthepostersarefunny,butallthisactionisscaringfolks.Youguyswillbeheroessoonenough.”
Rowandragsinaheavybreathandletsitoutslowly,hisgazeonmine.Webothknowwhathe’sthinking.Imessedup hischancetotakedownthebearandthewholetowngivinghimherostatusforit Well,thejokeisonhimbecauseIplanon stoppingeveryone.
Istareoutthewindow,watchingtheearlyafternoonlightfadeasthesnowbeginstodissipate MyfatherandRowanare talkingabouttruckengines.DadthinksFordisthebest,RowanlikeshisChevy.Isthiswhatit’slikehavingaboyfriend?Jake andIdatedformonths,andhecouldn’tbotherhimselfwithmyfamily Notevenonce Granted,Rowan’ssituationisalittle differentandI’mclearlylosingmymindthinkingotherwise.
“IthinkI’mgoingtotakeanap.Myankleisaching.”
“Probablybecauseyouwereupmakingthatlunch Youshould’vebeenresting”Rowanstaresatmewithintensityas thoughI’vedisobeyedhimorsomething.
Irollmyeyes “Yeah,well,that’sme Neverfollowingorders”Ileanintomyfatherandkisshisforehead,resistingthe urgetodothesametoRowan.
Why is it so hard to resist? Why does it make me happy that he cares? I’m not supposed to be catching feelings for him. I’m supposed to be using him.
“No,cupcake.I’llhelpyouintothebed.”Myfatherstandsandflashesoftheunmadebedcometomind.Thesheetsare wrinkledlikethereweretwobodieslyingonthemattress becausetherewas Dadcan’tseethat
“No!I’mfine.”Ipushmyfatheraway.“Really,I ”
“I’llhelpyou”Rowanstandsfromthecouchandhooksintomyarm Ishouldstophimtoo,ifnotforthesakeofmy heart,atleastforshow.WhywouldIwantRowanhelpingmeovermyfather?Itwon’tmakesensetohim,andifitdoes,he’ll overthinkitallandassumeRowanandIarebeinginappropriate.
ThesearethethoughtsthatgothroughmyheadasRowanwalksmetothebedroom,hisgiantarmhookedwithmine,his weightholdingmeup.Idon'tneedthismuchhelp.Ihobbledaroundallmorningonmyown,andinreality,I’monlyleavingthe livingroombecauseIneedtodetachfromwhateverI’mfeeling NowhereIam,feelingitmore Ihavehisscentalloverme andmyclitisthrobbingagain.
“Youneedareplayoflastnight,oryougotthis?”RowanstaresdownatmeasIsettleontothebed Hisgazeis
narrowedandthere’sasmirkonhisface.
Idraginadeepbreath.“Youwouldn’tdaregivemeareplaywithmyfatherinthenextroom.”
Heleansinandwhisperslowinmyear,“Dreamofmelickingthatlittlepussyclean,princess”Histoneisdeepand warm,leavingachillonmyspinethattinglesdownbetweenmylegs.GoodLord,Ineedhelp.Allkindsofhelp.Thekindthat givesmereprieveandsavesmefrommyself
Can I get that in a package deal somewhere?
“You’reevil,”Isay,slidingunderthecovers
Hegrabsapillowandpropsmyankleup.“Rest.I’vegotthingswithyourdadforawhile.”Thescentofpinefillsmy noseasheleansinandkissesmyforehead.Hisbeardisscratchy,andhisbreathiswarm.“See…thiscouldworkoutfine. YourdadwouldgetusedtothisandIcouldtoo”
“Ithoughtweweren’tcomplicatingthis.”
“Youaren’tcomplicatingthis Iam” “Why?”
Heshrugsandsitsontheedgeofthebed,histhickfingersmovingthroughmyhair Iloveit,butthedooriswideopen, andthecabinissmall.Afewstepstotheleftandwe’llbeexplainingalotmorethanwhyweslepttogetherlastnight.“I’m complicatingthisbecauseI ”
“Everythingokayinhere?”DadstandsinthedoorwaystaringdownatRowanwhosehandisstillonmyface “What’s goingon?”
Rowanholdshisgazeonminethenstandsfromthebed,toweringovermytallfatherandeverythingelseintheroomfor thatmatter.
Imisshisweightimmediately.IshouldtellmyfatherthatIlikehim,butwhatgoodwouldthatdo?Rowanisgoingback toAlaskasoon.Drivingawedgebetweenmyfatherandhisfriendforthesakeofa ‘feeling’ doesn’tseemright. “Iwas…Ihaveaheadache,”Imanage.
Myfather’sthickbrowsnarrow,andhelookstowardRowanasthoughhe’squestioningthevalidityofmystatement Rowansighsandglancestowardmebeforesteppingpastmyfatherandintothehallway.“I’mgoingtogetsomefresh air”
Dadlooksdownatme,hisgazelikeaheavyweight.“Washebeingweirdwithyou?”
IshakemyheadandwatchRowanmovedownthehallandoutofvision.“No.He’sbeensohelpful.”
Daddoesn’tlooksatisfiedwithmyanswer,andthankstoRowansweirdexit,Idon’twonderwhy.
What is he thinking, and why do I wish he would come back and lay next to me?
ChapterSix Rowan
There’sapairofsnowshoesinmytruckthatI’mtemptedtostraponanduse.Icouldgetdown themountainbymorning.I’dbettheinnhassomespaceforme.Thenagain,Icouldmakealittleigloohouseintheforestand callitanight Atthispoint,IthinkI’dhavebetterluckwithamenacinggrizzlythanIwouldinthatcabin I’veneverbeen goodathidingmyemotions.That’spartofwhyIchoosenottohavemany.
What do I do with them once I feel them? What’s the point? Whatever I feel only muddles things, especially in this situation.
Ileanbacktheseatinmytruckandcrankupthemusicbeforeclosingmyeyes.I’mhopingtodrownoutmyfeelings butthesongthat’splayingonlymakesitworse.Iclicktheradiooffandsitinsilence.
Peoplesaysnowdoesn’thaveasound,butitdoes.Evenlightsnowlikethishasasound.It’smuffledandpeaceful, likeyou’rewearinganoldsetofheadphonesthathushtheworldwithsoftstatic
Itrytostayinthepresent.Thewaythelightfiltersinthroughthetrees,thewaythetrucksmells,thewaymyjeans feelagainstmypalms Instead,allofthosethingsonlyremindmeofBailey Thelightiscominginthroughherwindow,I should’vetwistedtheshades.Thewaythetruckstillsmellslikeher,cinnamonandvanilla.Myjeansandthewayhersmall handsfeltagainstmylegontheridehomeyesterday.
Fuck!
Isuckinadeepbreathandblowitoutslowly.I’dhavetoldherfatherrightthenandtherethatIhadfeelingsforher. Wecould’veclearedthiswholethingupandbeenfreetomoveforwardhoweverwechoose Butthat’snotwhatshewants, andIhavetorespectthat.Ihavetorespectthat,inspiteofthesicknessIfeelaboutanyoneelsetakinghervirginity.
NoonewouldbecarefulwithherlikeIwould Theywouldn’trespecther Theywouldn’tholdherafterward They wouldn’tappreciatethegifttheyweregetting.Theywouldn’tfeelforherlikeIfeel.
What the hell is wrong with me?
WhenIrealizethatdozingoffisn’tgoingtodothetrick,Ipulloutmyphoneandcallmyfathertocheckinonthe guys.Heanswersonthefirstring.“Yes…”
“Checkingin”
“Stillsnowinghere,buttheCBradiosaysthere’saplowcomingupyoursideofthemountain.Youshouldbeable toleavetoday Howarethingswiththegamewarden?”
“We’remakingdo.Herfatherisherenow,soI’llheadoutwhentheplowcomesby.”Mychesttightensatthe thoughtofleavingBaileyunderanyone’scarebutmyown.
“I’llhaveHudsonmeetyoudownonMainStreetwiththesled It’sonlyathirty-minuteridefromthere Youcan leaveyourtruckinthebacklotatthediner.”
Igruntoutsomereplyofapprovalastherumbleofaplowechoesinthedistance “Ihearitnow I’llbeoutofhere inthenexttwentyminutes.CallyouwhenI’monMain.”
“Copythat Staysafe”HehangsupthelineandIstareoutattheroadastheplowpushesthroughheavypilesof snow.It’sslowmovingandthere’snowahard,heavymountainoficeattheendofthedrivewayIshould’veanticipated.I would’vehadmyheartnotbeenlingeringonhowtosaygoodbyetoBailey.
I’llseeheragain Godknowsshe’lldowhateversheneedstokeepthisbearsafe,buttherewon’tbeanother momentlikethis.Amomentwherewe’resoclosetobeingreal.Amomentwhereourheartsareinthesameplace,andfate haspushedustogether
Theheatfromthetruckhasmyeyesfeelingheavy,andwhileIknowIneedtogetoutandshoveltheendofthe driveway,Iclosemyeyesandleanagainstthewindowinstead Afewminutesofshuteyewilldomegood
Whatfeelslikeaminutelater,there’saheavyknockatthetruckwindowfollowedbytwolighterones. MyeyesflickopenquicklyandIjumpforwardatattention Forasecond,I’mnotsurewhereIamorhowIgot there.It’sdarkoutsideandI’minasnowbank.No,I’mhunting.
IturntowardmywindowandseeBailey’sface She’sshivering,wearingonlyalongsleevet-shirtandboots I’m at Bailey’s. I’m still at Bailey’s. What the fuck is she doing in the cold like this?
Iopenthetruckdoorandhelpherinside,slidingoversoshecanjumpin.“Whatthehellareyoudoing,girl?You shouldn’tbeoutherewiththatankle.You’llslipagain.”
Shechucklesunderherbreath,butthere’saseriouslookonherface.“Mydad’sasleep.Ithoughtyouleftme.” “Imusthavefallenasleepouthere”
“Andhedidn’tcomecheckonyou?”
Ishakemyhead “Nah That’snotweird,though ProbablythoughtIneededsomespace Hesayanythingtoyou?”
Sheshakesherhead.“No,butthewayyoustormedout,Ifiguredhewould’ve.Whatwasthatabout?” “Nothing.Didn’tmeananythingbyit.Howwasyournap?”
Shebitesherbottomlipandlooksawayasthoughshe’sannoyed “Lonely” “Yourdreamsdidn’tkeepyoucompany?”Myarmstretchesoutbehindherasshelookstowardme. “No Ionlyhadonedream”
“Whatwasthat?”
“Idreamtthatthesnowmelted,andyouleft” “Where’dIgo?”
Sheshrugs.“Don’tknow.Iwokeupsad,didn’tseeyou,andIpanicked.” Myhandcupsherface,mythumbscrubbingagainsthercheek “You’reokay I’mrighthere Youhaveyourdad,too Hesaidyoudon’tlikebeingalone.”
“It’snotaboutthat,though”Sheslidesclosertowardme “Ididn’twanttobewithoutyou ”Hergazemeetsmine “You’rebossy,youthinkyouknoweverything,andyoudon’tlistentoanyone,butyou’realsosweet,kind,andyoutakecare ofme”Atearrollsdownherface “Whenyousaidyouhadfeelingsforme,Ilied Ihavefeelingsforyou,too WhenI soberedup,Irememberedthoseadventureswe’dgoonwhenmyfamilycameouttovisityouandyourbrothers.Doyou rememberwhenyoushowedmehowtosnowshoe?”
MyheartsqueezesandIpullhercloser “Yeah Thatwasagesago Youwereyoungthen”
Shenods.“Yeah.So,whenIthinkaboutthethingswedidtogetherwhenIwasyoung,likeyoushowingmehowto useacompassormakingmehotcocoa,IfeelreallyweirdabouthowmuchIlikeyounow Itscaresthehelloutofme” I’veneverfeltmoredisgustinginmylife.“Itscaresme,too.Ididn’tmeanforthistohappen.”
“Meeither,butitdid.So,nowwhat?”
“Wefigurethingsout,ifyouwantto.Ifnot,Iunderstand.”
Sheleansinslowly,andIpressagainstherlips,runningmyfingersthroughherhairasshepushesincloser.
Mycockishard,andI’veneededreliefforoveradaynow,butI’mnotpressinganything Especiallynotwithher fathertwentyfeetaway.Instead,Ilandmylipsalloverherbody.Onherneck,hercollarbone,andonthelobeofherear. Shekissesmeback,moaningasshemoves “WhyamIsodesperateforyou?” Igrowlagainstherearanddraginthevanillascentonherskin.“It’sunbearableforme,too.Weshouldstop.My cockisalreadyhard,andIdon’tknowifIcanholdbackthistime.”
Sheclimbsontomylapandtuckshersoreanklebetweenmythighandthedoor.Thetruckisstillrumbling,andthe heatthatwasoncecomfortingisnowtoomuch.“Thendon’tholdback.Unzipyourjeansandletmesitonyourcock.”
“Here?No!Thefirsttimewehavesexwon’tbeinmytruck”
“Whynot?”There’sawhineinhervoicethatIwanttotakeaway.“Idon’tcarewhereweare.Ijustwanttofeel you”
I’veheldtheanimalinmebackforoveradaynow,andI’mprettyproudofthatconsideringhowbadlyIwanther, butthelastbaronthecageissnappingandI’mabouttoloseit.“Iwanttofeelyoutoo,princess,butnothere.Comeon.Climb down”
Shegrindsherhipsagainstmylapandleansintomyneck,kissingme,scrapingherteethagainstmyskin. Fuck!Thatwasthelaststraw
Igrowlandtearathershirt,pullinghertitsouttotouch,kiss,suck.Mybrainhasgonetostatic,andwecouldbe anywhere Thewindowsaretintedsonoonecanseeinside Ifthisiswhatshewants,I’llgladlygiveittoher
Scrapingmyteethoverherhardnipples,Iletoutagrowlandtuckmyhandbetweenherlegs,palmingoverher soakingpantiesbeforepullingthemtotheside.Islidemyfingerinsideofherandwatchherlipsastheypart.
“Thatfeelssogood Goharder”
“You’resotight,princess.You’resofuckingtight.”
Sheleansintome,pressingherforeheadagainstmineasshemoansandthrustsagainstmyhand Fuckinghell!Ineedsomerelief.“Youreadytolistentodirections?”
ShelooksmeintheeyesandsighswithanacheI’mdesperatetocure “Yeah,I’mready”
“Wedon’thaveacondom.Youokaywiththat,too?I’mclean.”
“Idon’tcare!Please…hurry!”shepants.
“Goodgirl Slidebackalittleandunzipmyjeans”
ShebitesbackasmileanddoesasIask,pullingmycockoutwithhersmallhandwrappedaroundme.
Mybodystillsintormentassheslidestothesideandleansontomycock,wrappingherprettylipsaroundmygirth andslidingdownslowly.Idigmyhandsintoherhairandmoveherheadgentlyasshesucksandswirlshertongueinasloppy messallovermycock.Icantellshe’sneverdonethisbeforebutsomehowthatmakesitbetter.She’sunpredictableand movesinerraticpatternsthatpushmetotheedge.
“Fuck.Fuck.Fuck,”Igrowl.“Leanback,princess.Ihavetotasteyou.”
“No.I’mnotdonehereyet.”
“Yeah,well,anymoreofthatandI’llloseit.WhenIdo,Iwanttobeinsideofyou.”
Theanticipationtofeelhertightcoreisoverwhelming,butwe’realreadyrushingthingsinthetruck Ican’tskip tastingher.
SheleansbackandpropshersoreankleonmybackasIliftherhipsandflickmytongueagainstherswollenclit “Youtastesofuckinggood,princess.”
HerhipsgrindupwardagainstmybeardandI’mthankfulforhermovementsbecause,whilethistruckisbig,I’m bigtooandmovingaroundfreelyisn’taseasy.Thatsaid,Idon’twantthistoend.Iwantherprettylittlepussyscrubbing againstmyfaceforever.Iwanthermarkingmelikeafuckingtreeuntilit’sclearwebelongtoeachother.
Herthighstense “Ohmygod IthinkI’mgoingtocome!”
“Doit.Beagoodlittlegirlandcomeonmyface.”Igrowlintoherpussyandscrapemyteethagainstherclitasshe worksmybeard
She’sbreathingheavily,dragginginairasthoughthere’sashortage.“OhGod,Rowan.Fuck…”Thepitchofher tonegetshigherandhigher,untilallatonceshescreamsout,squirtinghersweetjuicesalloverme
Mycockacheswithapainthat’snearlyunbearableassheworksherwaydownofftheledge,movinghertired, twitchingpussyawayfrommeasIlickupthecomeshe’sjustgiftedmewith.
Reachingup,Ipinchhernippleandstaretowardherassheleansbackagainsttheoppositedoorofthetruck “How wasit?”
Hercheeksarepinkandshe’sstillpanting “You’rereallygoodatthat”
“Youmovedyourbodythewayyouneedtomoveit.Ijustenjoyedmyself.”
Shelooksawayquicklythenbackagain.“IsitnormalthatI’mstillachingforyoutofillmeup?”
Igrowllowandpullhercloser.I’mnotusuallyaguywhocancomewithmyjeanson,allbunchedupinatruck, though,I’veneverreallytried.“Climbuphere.Iwantyoulookingatmewhenwedothis.Youreyesstayonmine, understood?”
Sheswallowshardandclimbsintoplace.“I’mscared.”
“We’llgoslow You’resureyouwantto,right?”
Herbrowsraise.“Oh,I’msureIwantto,butyourcockishuge.MaybeIshould’vestartedoutonsomething smaller.”
“Iliketheegoboost,butit’snotthatbig.”
Shegripsmydickwithherhand.“Ican’tevengetmyhandsaroundit.How’sthatfittinginsideofme?”
“We’llgoslow Reallyslow”Icupherfaceinmyhandandkissherlipsgentlyassheedgesmytipathersilky entrance.Ashersoftmoundparts,takingmein,crampedupornot,I’mgoingtocomeinherlittlepussy.
ChapterSeven Bailey Rowanisbigeverywhere.Hishands,hisshoulders,hisarms,histhighs,hiswaist.Themanisgargantuan.Hiscock isnoexception.GiventhefactthatI’vebeenachurchmouseuntilnow,I’vetakeninafairamountofporntofamiliarize myselfwithactionsandmovesthatmightbehelpfullater
Thatsaid,I’veneverseenadickthisbig.
IslideontoRowan,stretchingmyselfwideuntilhe’sburieddeep I’mgoingslowlikehesaid,butitstillpinches andburnsasIworkmyselfdown.
Hiseyescloseandflickeropenagain.“Goodgirl.Takethatcock,princess.” God,Ilovethewayhetalkstome.
“Takeadeepbreath.”HisvoiceislowandshakinglikeI’mdoingthingstohimthathecan’tcontrol.Ineverthought aboutthisaspectofsex Forsolong,gettingridofmyvirginitywasabouttheaction Buthere,ontopofthisgoliathofaman, Ican’thelpbutfeelsomuchmorethanhiscockspreadingmewide.He’sattentiveandcaring,andthere’smorethanphysical attractionmovingbetweenus
Suddenly,Iwanttomemorizethelookonhisfaceashefeelsmeforthefirsttime.Iwanttolearnthefeelofhis roughhandsastheyglideacrossmychestandontomyneck.Iwanttorememberthewayhisvoicesoundsashegrowlslowin myear.
“Bounceforme,princess.Letmeseethosenipplesmove.”
HishandisonmythroatandmineishookedonthebackofhisneckasIbounceupanddown,backandforth, moaningastheintensityofthefrictionoverwhelmsbothofus.
“Ineedtocome,”hegroanslow “Fuck!Tellmeyouwantmycome Tellmeyouneedit Tellmeyou’remine”
Thefrontporchlightflickson,andthoughIknowit’smyfatherandthatshouldstopusbothinourtracks,itdoesn’t. Thewindowsaretinted.Hecan’tseeinside.Atleastthat’swhatItellmyselfasIcontinuetoworkRowan’scock.
“I’myours.Comeforme,baby.Ineedyourcome.Ineedyourcomeinsideofme.”Ibounceharderandfaster, desperateforeverythinghehas.
“Goodgirl,”hegrowlsout Andwithinseconds,he’showlingoutanorgasmasheatfillsmypussywithafloodof excitement.
Ishouldstopbouncing Myfatheriscrunchingthroughthesnow Ihearhim whichmakesmewonderifhecould hearus.
“Okay,princess.Hopdown.Yourdadisrightthere.”Rowan’shandisonmyback,andhe’sleanedagainstmy shoulder,exhaustedashetalks
Iwanttostop.Ireallydo.“I’mgoingtocomeagain.Ineedtocomeagain.”
Rowanliftshisheadandlooksupatme “Fuck Don’tstopthen Getit Comeonmycocklikeagoodgirl Likea dirty,little,goodgirl.”
Thetoneofhisvoiceandthedesperationbetweenmylegscreateanenergythattakesmeoverthetop,andalmost instantly,ashatteringorgasmisshootingthroughme,leavingmeconvulsingonRowan’slap.
Nothing has ever felt so right
Atthispoint,myfatherisbangingonthetruckwindow,andI’msuddenlyquestioninghowtintedthewindows actuallyare.
IglancetowardRowan “Whatdidwedo?”
Hiseyesarewide.“It’llbefine.Noonecanseethroughthesewindows.Buttonupandwe’lltellhimwhat’sgoing on”
“You’regoingtotellhimwewerefucking?”
HelaughsandbuttonsuphisjeansasIslideoffofhim.“No.I’lltellhimweweretalkingabouthowtotellhim whatwefeel Imean,thatishowthisstarted sortof”
Inodandleanontohislips,kissinghimgently.
“Youfeltsoamazing,princess I’msorrythisishowyourfirsttimeends”
“Don’tbesorry,ever.Iwantedthis.I’mgladwedidit.”
Hisbighandsweepsovermyforeheadandontomycheek.“We’lltellyourdadwhat’sup,andI’llholdyouall nightlong.Okay?”
IlovehowoptimisticRowanisaboutthis.Idon’tsharethesamepositiveenergy.Myfatherisagoodman,but datingsomeonesomucholderisn’tgoingtogooverwell Thefactthattheguyhappenstobehisfriendisgoingtoadd gasolinetohisreaction.
Rowankissesmyforeheadagain,andIslidedownoffhimasheopensthepassengersidedoorandclimbsout
There’ssilenceandthenthere’smore.Alotmore.
Ipushtheengineoffonthetruckandclimbdownintothesnow,carefulofmyankleasImove.“Dad!Stop!”
Heturnsbacktowardme “No!Itrustedthisasshole!Ilethimtakecareofmydaughter!Hemanipulatedyou!” Beingtheonlychild,myfatherhastakencareofmelikeawoundedbabybirdwhoneedstwenty-four-hourcare. He’sconvincedIcan’tbealone,andhetreatsmeassuch Ishould’vespokenupsooner,butIknewIgavehimpurpose AndI guess,Iwaslookingoutforhimtoo.
“Dad,”Ishifttowardhimslowly,holdingontotheedgeofthetruckasImove,“listentome Rowandidn’t manipulateme.Ifanything,Imanipulatedhim.”IlaughundermybreathasIthinkbackonthemovesIputonhimlastnightat thebar.“Ilikehim.He’sagoodguyandhemakesmefeelsafe.”
“Sosafehe’sfuckingyouinthetruckwithyourfathertenfeetaway?”Dadtakesoffhishatandthrowsitonthe ground.Thisisescalatingquickly.
Okay soheheardus That’shumiliating
Note to self: Don’t do that again.
Rowanstepsforward “Idon’tknowwhattosay,man Thiswasn’tplanned,butIdon’tknowhowtostopitnow She’severythingI ”
“She’stwenty-four!”myfatherscreamsasagrowlbubblesuphisthroat.
“Iknow”Rowanreachesoutformyhand,steadyingmeinthesnow “It’sweird,andit’sprobablyfuckedupas hell,butIcan’tstopit.Idon’twantto.She’sperfectandIneedher.”
Myfatherclapshishandstogetherandlooksawayblowingheavyfogwithhisbreathinthefreezingnight “So that’sit?Youtwoarejustdoingwhatyou’redoingandfuckeverythingelse?WhathappenswhenhegoesbacktoAlaska?”
Ihadn’tthoughtaboutthatinawhile.Iwasgoingwiththeflow.“Idon’tknow.We’restillfiguringoutallthe details,butIloveyou,Daddy.I’mfallinginlovewithRowan,andIneedtoseewherethatgoes.”
Myfather’seyeswiden,andhischeeksturndarkred.
Rowanturnsmetowardhim “I’mfallinginlovewithyoutoo,princess”Hekissesmyforeheadandpullsme againstthewarmthofhischestwhereeverythingissafe,andtheworldisperfect.
“Where’sthekeystoyourcar?”Dadsaysashestaresatme “Ineedtogetoutofhere”
“Wait!You’reangry.Let’stalkthisover.”Ireachoutforhim,buthebouncesuptheporchandintothehouse, comingoutwithmykeysbeforeIcangrabhim.
“No.I’mnotanygoodtotalktorightnow.I’lltakeyourcar.YouhaveRowanhereifyouneedanything.Wecan talklater.”
“Please Don’tgolikethis Wecanfigurethingsoutrightnow,”Rowanadds,squeezingmetighterinsupport “There’snothingtofigureout.”Dadopensmycardoorandlooksbacktowardus.“Youtwofeelhowyoufeeland I’mgoingtohavetogetusedtoit Thatsaid,it’sgoingtotaketime Andrightnow,Idon’twanttolookatthetwoofyou together,so…I’mgoinghome.”Heclimbsdownintomycar.It’sweirdtoseemydadinacarsosmall.Usually,he’sinthe pickuptruckthepolicestationgavehim.
“It’sgoingtobeokay,”RowanwhispersinmyearasDaddrivesaway “He’sagoodman He’llcometohis senses.”
IturnbacktowardRowan “Willhe?HehadapointaboutAlaska Youhavetogobackeventually”
“Ido?Whatifwestayedheretogether?Wecouldputthatadditiononyouweretalkingaboutandexpandtheranch. Imean,Icouldhunt,fish,andbuildthingsjustaseasilyhereasIcanupNorth”
Heatswellswithinmeatthethoughtofwhatthefutureforuscouldbe.Ahousefullofkids,alittleranchofour own,holidayswithlaughterandlove.“Whataboutyourbrothers?”
“We’dgobacktovisit They’dcomehere We’llmakeitwork”
Tearsstreakdownmyface.“Really?You’dcomeallthewayhereforme?”
“Easily”Heleansdownandkissesmylipsgentlybeforeliftingmefromtheground “Nowlet’sgetyouinsideand restthatankle.IhavemoretroubleIneedyourestedforlater.”
IleanmyheadagainsthisshoulderandfallintohisarmslikeIneverhavewithanyone Mydadwillcometohis senses,andwe’llironthingsout.It’swhatwedo.Butrightnow,I’mgoingtoenjoyeverysecondoffallinginlovebecause lovewiththisgiant,feelsreallydamngood.
“Okay,theseAlaskandudesneedtogohome.”MybestfriendRubycallsasIstaredownattheplansRowandrew uptoexpandthecabin He’sspentthelastweekandahalfputtingthemtogetherandIloveeverysinglethingaboutthem Threeadditionalbedrooms,asecondbathroom,andanexpansiontothelivingroomandthekitchen.It’splentyofspaceforus togrowinto “Igetthatyoumarriedoneandyou’reallinloveandstuff,buttherestofthemareassholes”
“Howso?”
“Well,thebigonewiththegraybeardandtheflannelcamedowntothelibraryyesterdaydemandingmapsofthe mountain.”Sheclearsherthroat.“Demanding!”
“Didyouhaveany?”
“Yeah,butthat’snotthepoint Idon’towehimanything!”
“Maybehewasjustasking.”
“Okay soyou’reimpossibletotalktonow”
“Sorry.Iknowtheysuck.”
Shelaughs.“Youdon’thavetofakeit.IlikeRowan.He’sagoodguy.I’msuretheyallaredeep,deep,deep,deep down,butmaybetheycouldshowit.DidyouhearaboutHudsongettingintoafightatthebarlastnight?Apparently,hegot intoitwithMr.Kellerabouttrespassing.That’swhytheywantthemaps.”Shegasps.“Oh,notonlythemaps,buthewantsa guidetotakehimoutthereandMrs Robinsonsuggestedme,becauseapparently,Icampallthetime?”Hertoneisangsty “Haven’tcampedinyears,andwhenIgo,Istayatthepark.I’mnot… no!I’mjustnot.”
“I’lltalktoRowanandseewhatheknows I’llcallyoulater”
“No,don’tdothat.It’llsoundlikeI’mcomplaining.I’mnotcomplaining,really.Iknowthebearneedstogoand I’mthankfulthey’rehere.Ijust…oh,yourdad.Hestoppedmeatthemarketyesterdaytoshowoffpicturesofthewedding likeIwasn’tthere.Seemslikehe’sdoneafullthreesixty.”
Ruby’sallovertheplace,allthetime.Iloveit.It’swhatmakesher,her.
“Yeah,he’sfeelingbetter Ithink Hehashismomentsstill,buthe’sbeenreallysupportiveforthemostpart Why don’tIinviteHudsontodinnertonight?Youcancometoo,andwe’llsmooththingsoverandgetyouguysontherighttrack.”
Sheclearsherthroat “Umm nope IthinkI’mgood There’snothingtosmoothover Doyouknowtheweirdthing is,Ithinkhe’sfollowingme.”
“What?Maybeyoucould’veledwiththat?”
“Yeah,well,Isawhistruckoutsidemyhousetheotherdayandagainatthediner”
“LetmetalktoRowan,oratleastletmetellmydad.Ifhe’sfollowingyou,someoneshouldstophim.”
“It’sfine I’mprobablycrazy Really,Idon’tevenknowwhyIsaidanything Shit!Thedeliveryguyjustgothere I havetointakethesebooks.Callmelater.Loveyou!”
“Loveyou,too Textmeimmediatelyifhecomesaroundagain”
Sheagreesandwedisconnecttheline.
“Everythingokay?”Rowanmeetsmeatthetable.
“Yeah,Ithinkso Whatdoyouthinkaboutyourbrother,Hudson?”
Rowansbrowswrinkle.“Why?”
“Don’tsayanythingbutIthinkhemightbefollowingRuby”
“Really?Doesn’tsurpriseme.Thedudeisalittleunhingedandincrediblyobsessive.Ifhegetsfixedonsomething, there’snotellingwhatlengthshe’llgoto He’snotdangerous,butofcourseI’lltalktohim”
Inodandtipupontomytoesforakiss.“Ilikethehouseplansalot,especiallythislittlespotinthebedroomfora spatub.Howlongdoyouthinkit’lltaketofinish?”
Herubshishandovermystomach “Ireckonwecanhaveitallfinishedbythetimeourbabiesareontheirway” “Babies?We’rehavingbabies?”
Rowannods “Iwashoping,ifyou’reupforit”
Ibeamandstareuptowardhimlikehehungthemoon.“I’dlovethat.” “Good.”Heliftsmeintohisarmsandcarriesmebacktowardthebedroom.“Let’sgetstarted.”
Foryears,Idreamtaboutloveandmarriage.Ifantasizedaboutalifewithamanwhoadoredmeandwantedthe samethingsIdid.NowthatIhaveit,lifeisbetterthanIcould’veimagined.AllthankstoafewshotsofRuggedMountain whiskey
Khloe Summers istheauthorofoveronehundredshortandsteamyromancetitles Herbooksarewritteninmanydifferenttropes,butalwayscontain growlyolderalphas,curvywomen,andlotsofsteam
Khloeliveswithherhusband,(whosheaffectionatelycallsDaddy)insunnyFlorida Theyspendmostoftheirfreetimesinkingtheirtoesinthesand,eatingtoomany pizzas,andholleringobscenitiesattheTVonfootballSunday.(Atleasthedoes.ShesitsonthesidelinesandquietlyordersnonsenseoffAmazon.)
Beforethislifeisover,KhloewouldliketocheckeverythingoffhersexybucketlistandvisitSouthAfricatowrestleevilpoachersintosubmission.(Andmaybeseesome babyelephants)
HEAGuaranteed.
Read Bonus Scenes at
www.authorkhloesummers.com
ChapterOne Ruby Iusedtolovethattvshow, ‘Surprise Delivery.’ NotbecauseIenjoyedtheheartwarmingstoriesofallthelovelypeople thatwerehavingbabies,butbecausetheyweresomehowninemonthspregnantandmanagedtohideitfromeveryone.
How did their closest friends and family not notice they were eating like an ox left out to pasture? How did they not notice their bellies expanding to the size of planet Earth? How did a close friend not pick up on a major hormonal shift?
Turnsout,it’snotthathardtoconceal Anoversizedhoodie,apocketedcomebacktoserveinatimelyfashion,and stayingawayfromeveryoneasmuchaspossible.Yeah,that’lldoit…andnooneisthewiser.
Idraginadeepbreathandleanbackintheoversizedlibrarychairwhosestuffingissupposedtomakeitmore comfortable,butinreality,onlymakesthechairimpossibletogetoutof.It’samistakesittinghere,butmyfeetarekillingme, andthisistheonlyoption.Well,IguessIcouldgototheofficeandsitintheswivelchair,butthenIwouldn’tbefrontand centertohelptheassholeIseemakinghiswaytowardme
HudsonLaskin.Themanisatleastsixfootandseveninchesofhairy,pure,Alaskan,goliathnonsense.Isweartheman wakesupinthemorningtopisspeopleoff
“Isawyouatthegrocerystoreyesterdayandthedinerlastnight.What’syourdeal?”
Helaughsandbrusheshishanddownoverhissaltandpepperbeard. God, this man really is full of himself “It’sa smalltown,littlegirl.Don’tflatteryourself.”
“Little girl? I’mnotalittlegirl.”
Hecocksabrow “Youlookprettylittletome”
“So,whatdoyouwanttoday?Idon’thavetimeforthis.”Ithinkaboutstrugglingupandoutofthischair,butIfearthe embarrassment,soIstayput
“You.Alibrarianofanemptylibrarydoesn’thavetimetohelpme,evenwhenImadeanappointment?”Histoneis deep,butarrogant.Whyisthatturningmeon?Iscanhisbroadframequickly,notingthetruckerhathewearswithatractoron thefrontandtheflannelhekeepsrolledtothesleevesdespitethefactthatit’sfreezingcoldoutside.He’sprobablyshowingoff alltheink.
Ifhewereevenahairlessattractive,Iwouldn’tevenspeaktohim Buthe’shotasfuck,soIguessI’lldomyjob
“Iforgotabouttheappointment.”Ishimmytotheedgeofmychair,tryingtobalancemyweightandalsoliftmyselfup withoutascene,butIfallbackwardintothepileoffluffagainbeforeI’mabletostand It’snotpretty Thisiswheremy crimsoncheeksmaketheirentrance.
Helaughs.“Youneedhelp?”
Inarrowmygaze “DoIlooklikeIneedhelp?”Wrongthingtosay “Don’tanswerthat I’mfine Thischairjust ”I pushupinonefinalshoveandmakemywaytoastandingposition.“Itsucksyouin,isall.”
“Right,well,I’mhereformaps Ineedafull,detailedversionofthemountainwithallthepropertylinesclearlylisted Wedon’twantanymoretrespassingtrouble.”
Irollmyeyesandwaddlepasthim,dragginginthescentofcedaronhisclothes Hesmellslikehewaschoppingwood thismorning.
Whydoesthatexciteme?
Hormones Hormones Hormones IrepeattheremindertomyselfasIpullthemapfromthedrawer “You’renever goingtogetthatbear.Hemockseveryoneintown.”
“Allduerespecttoyouandeveryoneelsehere,we’reusedtotakingdownbig,menacinggame Wegetintotheanimal's mind.Welearntheirtacticsandwetakethemoutbeforetheyknowwhat’scoming.”
Ishouldn’tbellylaughrightnow,butIdo “Yougetintotheirmind?AreyouaJedi?Yousoundridiculous Bearslike Kodadon’tmakeplansandkeepthem.They’reerraticandunpredictable.That’swhyhe’snothibernating.” “Younamedthebear?”
“Yeah”Ishrug “Peoplenamethings Sowhat?”
“YoudoknowthatKoda meanslittlebear,right?”
Irollmyeyes “Well,ifthebearhasaproblemwiththat,hecanbringitupwithmanagement”
HudsondragsinadeepbreathasthoughI’m themostannoyingpersonontheplanet,whenit’sclearasdaythathe is. Whenhiseyesaredonerollinginsarcasm,hetakesthemapfrommyhand,andlaysitoutonthenearbycounter.Hishuge, roughhandlandsonthedrawinglikesandpaper,scuffingacrossthesheetashetracesaline.“Wethinkhemovedafterthe stormandhe’sinthisterritoryoverhere.”Hecirclesaspotonthemapnearthemines.“Weneedtolurehimoffprivate propertyandintotheforestsowecangetashotwithoutmoredrama”
“Iknowthefolksthatownthatland.They’llbewillingtohelp.I’msureofit.”
“No”Heglancestowardme “Nomoreprivateproperty It’smessy”Hescansmeupanddown “Who’sthatguythat
wasinhereyesterday?Theonethatwasyelling.”
Myjawdropsandmyeyeswiden.“What?Whywereyouhereyesterday?”
“Iwaswalkingby,andInoticedaguy Youwerehavingaheateddiscussion Whoishe?” Igasp.“Youare followingme!Iknewit.You ”
“Following you? Followingimpliesthisisahabit,littlegirl It’snot Isawsomethingyesterdayonmywaybacktomy truckisall.”
“Andtheotherdayatthediner?Andatthebakery?”
“It’sasmalltown.”
Ican’thelpbutlaugh.“Areyouserious?”
Hestaresbackwithoutaword
Okay, now I’m freaked out. “Youshouldgo.”
Heleansin,bringingthewoodsyscentoftheforestwithhim “Notuntilyoutellmewhothatmanwas”
Irollmyeyesandbackaway,thoughthesubtleaggressivenessofallthishasmyclitthrobbinglikesomewalllicking, mentalpatient “Ifyouweresoconcernedaboutit,whydidn’tyoucomeinandask?”
“Youseemedtohaveyourselfhandled.IwaiteduntilhewasgonebeforeIleft.” “So…youarewatchingme?”
Hesmilesandrollsthemapupinhissandpaperhands,tappingtheedgesonthecountertoeventhetwist “You’refunny Takecare,littlegirl.Youshouldn’tletassholestalktoyoulikethat.Youeverneedhelpgettingridofhim,callme.”Hewalks outthedoor,wideandstrong,tallandsureofhimself Butaboveallelse,arrogantasfuck
Mythighsacheandmynipplesgrowhard. What the actual hell just happened?
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