“G
ether,Onya!Don’tlethergetout!”
Inthesmall,fencedin,muddypen,Imademystandagainstthelargesow thatglaredatmewithtiny,beadyblack eyes tryingtomakealast-ditchefforttoescapemyclutches.Ineededtohookmyarmsarounditswidebellyunderits frontlegs.Thatwasalwaysthebestwaytodragastubbornpigwhereitneededtogo.
Itsnortedonce,asifinwarning Iwasn’tdeterredthough ThesowandIhaddonethisdancebefore Roundingupthepigs formyfriendYve’sfamily’shomesteadwasoneofmyfavoritethingstodo.Itgotmeawayfrommyownhouse,andoutfrom thewatchful,criticaleyeofmystepfather
Ireadiedmyself,flexingmyfingers,andtryingtoanticipatewhichwayitwasgoingtorun.Thesowsnortedagain,oneof itsbig,tuftedearstwitching Keepingmyeyesonitslegstoseewhereitwouldturn,Idashedforward Itzig-zaggedtotheleft, andIdartedthatway,confidentthatIwouldbeabletograbit,whenthegroundbeneathusgroanedlikeanold,wizenedman thentrembled.
Thesurprisingshakingundermybootssentmesprawlingforward IreachedforthepigbutwassooffbalancethatIlanded ina huge mud pool instead. Itsplattered everywhere. Mostofitseemed to be caked onto myboots, legs, dress, and hands. Though,Isuspectedafewflecksdottedmycheeks Itwasmostdefinitelyinmyhairaswell
As usual,mymother wouldsquawkatme aboutactingmore like myyounger brother,Peder a dirty,messylittle boy thantheeighteen-year-oldyoungwomanIwassupposedtobe
Rollingoutofthemudandontomyknees,Islowlygottomyfeettoseemyfriend,Yve,perchedontopofthepen’sfence whileclutchingthepoleinadeathgrip.Hereyeswerewideasshelookedaround,probablytryingtofigureoutwhathadjust happened
“Thedragonsarewaking,”shewhispered,hervoicequivering.
Imadeafaceather “Therearenosuchthingsasdragons,Yve”
Slowly,sheletgoofthepoleandjumpedontotheground.Sheseemedunbalanced,andIimaginedherkneeswereshaking underneathhertunic.“Butwhatabouttheteachings?”
“Justoldstoriestoscarechildrenintobehaving.”
“Thenwhydidthegroundshake?Itmustbethedragonstryingtobreakthroughtotakeoverthecountryandenslaveallthe people”
Iexaminedherface,hereyes,toseeifshewasjoking,orifsheactuallybelievedthatnonsense.Shesmiledtobreakthe tension,buttherewasworryandfearinhergaze Ididn’tblameherthough Wegrewupinthevillage,withtheeldersandour parents constantlytellingus these stories aboutwhenthe dragonlords ruledthe world.Ofhow ferocious andcruel theyhad beento the humans theyruled. The dragonkingTomiss, the Lord ofthe Mountain, and his two brothers had supposedlyhad enslavedhumanwomenasconcubinesandfrequentlyburnedvillagestotheground.Itwasallabunchofhorseshit.
Afterhundredsofyearsofcruelty,thehumansroseinrebellion,foughtthedragonlords,andwon,placingahumanonthe throneofAndlangforthefirsttimeintheworld’screation
“Itwasn’tdragons.ItwasprobablytheFireMountainbubblingtolife.”
Moremudwasn’treallygoingtomatteratthispoint.Iwasgoingtobetheonetocleanitanyway.Thewashingwasjustoneof themanychoresthatI’dbeentaskedwith,butIwould’vemuchratherhavebeeninchargeofthehuntingforthefamily.Imade solidrabbittraps,andIcouldtakedownanybirdwithanarrow
Unfortunately, my stepfather forbade me fromdoing “manly” chores, since I should be learning how to take care of a household, and eventually, raise babies Ihated thatmymother tied hands withthatmanso soonafter myfather died, butI understood whyshe had to do it. Awomanwould have a difficulttime raisingtwo childrenalone, eventhoughIwas fully grownandabletoworktoearncoins,feedandclothethem,whilehangingontothehomestead
Ilearnedlongagothatwomenhadtodowhateverwasrequiredtosurviveinthisworld.
“Howcanitbethemountain?”Yveaskedassheopenedthewoodengateforme.“Itissofarawayfromhere.It’sathreedayride Atleast,thatiswhatNilssaid”
“Nilshasn’tbeentothemountain.”Ismirked.“Hejusttoldyouthattoimpressyou.”
Yveshruggedherbonyshoulders,withatiltofherhead Obviously,ithadworkedonher Thelookonherfacetoldmethat shewassmittenwiththebig,dumbblacksmith’sapprentice.Itwascutethough.Nilswouldbeagoodmatchfor her;hewas kindandfriendly HewasalsobigandmuscularenoughthatnoothermanwoulddareapproachYve
“NilstoldmethatAndersaskedhimaboutyou.”
Myheadsnappeduptofrownather.“Anders?Hisolderbrother,Anders?”
Frowningatmyexpression,shenodded “What’swrongwithAnders?Ithinkhe’dbeagoodmatchforyou”
“Ihavenointerestinbeingafarrier’swife.”Igatheredallmyerranthairsandtieditallbackupatthenapeofmyneck.“I havenointerestinbeinganyone’swife,ifI’mhonest”
Her heartylaughechoed inthe air. “Ofcourse, you’ll tie hands withsomeone. Awomancan’tbe alone her whole life. You’llenduplikeMadSiva,thevillageShaman livinginasmallturfhutontopofahillandtalkingtotheanimals.”
Thescenarioactuallyappealedtomymindandheart,butIpressedmylipstogether,suppressingtheurgetotellherthat.I’d seenfirst-handwhatabaduniondidtoawoman.FromwhatIcouldrememberwhenmyfatherwasalive,theirunionhadbeen satisfactoryforthemboth Theyseemedwellsuitedforeachother,enoughtoraisechildrenandmanageahomestead
My father hadn’t been an especially kind man, however. I supposed he just hadn’t been cruel. For the most part, he preferredtobeoutonthefishingboatsandatthetavernthanathome,soIdidn’tinteractwithhimoften Mybrothernaturally hadmoreinterestfromhimasPedercarriedhisnamesakeandhislineage.
Yet,itwasn’tuntilafterhediedandmymothertiedhandswithIver,mystepfather,thatItrulyunderstoodthetormentabad unioncoulddotoawoman.
“Onya,you’reasstubbornasthatsow,butIknow onedaytherewillbeamanwhowillturnyourheadandcaptureyour heart”
Igaveher asmall smile,becauseIdidn’thavethehearttoarguewithher anddashher highhopesfor mylovelife.Yve wasaromanticatheart Shereadalotofpoetry,booksthatherbrotherbroughtbackfromoneofthebigtownsasourvillage didn’thave anythingresemblinga library.The schoolhouse hadsome rudimentarybooks writtenbyoldmen,Iassumed,that childrenwereallowedtoreadduringlessons.Thepoemsshelovedthemosttalkedaboutloveanddestiny.
Ididn’tbelieveineitherofthosethings
Yve’shandwrappedaroundmyarm.“C’mon,let’sgotothehousesoyoucancleanup.Idon’twantyourmothertotanyour hide,andmine,foraskingyoutohelpmecorralthepigsagain”
We barelymade it around the woodenshed thatserved as the pigs’shelter whenthe bell inthe village tower rangout, startlingusboth ThelasttimeI’dheardthatbellringwaseightyearsago,whentheroyalguardstoppedforfoodandshelter forthenightontheirjourneybacktothecapital.Itonlyrangwhentheemblemofthecapitalwasseenwavingonaflag. “Doyouthinkit’stheguardagain?”Yvesqueezedmyarm.
“Probably WhoelsefromthecapitalwouldventuretoFreyhaven?”
Sonya,Yve’slittlesister,camebarrellingdownthesmall hill near themainhouse.Her braidsflappedinthewindwhile shesprintedtowardusonherthinlittlelegs Shelookedlikeshewasbeingchasedbyawildboar
Whenshefinallyreachedus,shewasbreathinghard,herchubbycheeksredfromtheexertion.“Onya…”shehadtotakein abigbreathtocontinue,“Onya,theWhiteCarriageisheadingtoyourhome”
Myheartdroppedintomystomach.“What?Thatcan’tbetrue.”
Sonyanoddedvigorously.“Isawitontheroadwithmyowntwoeyes.Thecarriagewaswhiteandgold,flyingtheroyal flag”
Yve’seyesgrewwide,andshepulledonmyarminexcitement.“BlessedFreya!!NooneeverthoughttheWhiteCarriage wouldcomehere”
Mystomachrolledover,andmyheadswam.Thiscouldn’tbehappening.Ithadtobesomekindofmistake.
“Youshouldhurryhome,Onya.”Yvesqueezedmyarmagain,pullingmefrommymaudlinthoughts.“Yourmotherwillbe frantic,I’msure,especiallyifyou’renottheretogreettheDagmar.”
“WhatifIdidn’tgohome?”Thewordsleftme,eventhoughIhadn’tmeanttosaythemoutloud.
Yve’ssmileinstantlydropped.“Whywouldyoudothat?Thisisablessing,Onya.Anhonorisbeingbestowedonyou.” Ididn’tagreewithhersentiment.Itwasn’tanhonorbutapunishment.
“NooneeverthoughttherepresentativeoftheBrullHousewouldcomeheretoourlittlevillage Thewordofyourbeauty must’vereachedthenobles’ears.”
“Orit’sjustacoincidenceandtheyaregoingtoall thevillagesthistime”Oh,how Iwishedforthattobetrue Thelast thingIwantedwasforthemtoknowaboutme.
Yvehuggedmetightly,leaningintomyear “Iwouldgiveanythingtobechosen,Onya,thechancetobeinaunionwitha noble gentleman, maybe eventhe prince, is the greatestopportunity. He is ofage to be bound witha wife. So, youmustgo homeandacceptthishonor,forme,forallthewomeninthisvillage,andthenext,whowillnevergetthischancebecausewe werenotblessedwiththefaceofFreya”
WhenIpulledaway,mygazeheldhers.We’dbeenfriendssincebirth,onlyayearbetweenus sheseventeen,meeighteen andI’d never heardher speakaboutwantingto be chosenand takento the capital to be trainedas a beholdenwife atthe Brull House. Even when the female elders talked about it during private ceremonies with just the women and girls of the village,Yvenevercommentedonwhatthey’dtoldus
Ihadnoideasheharboredthissecretwishinherheart.
“IfI’mchosen,I’llbetakenfromthevillagetoliveinthecapital.I’llneverbeabletoreturn.I’dlosemylifeherewithmy motherandlittlebrother Withyou”
Herhandscradledmyface,caressingmycheek.Weweren’tonesforpublicdisplaysofaffection,despitethefactthatYve waslikemysister So,thegentletouchthrewmeoffguard,andIhadtoforcemyselfnottopullawayfromher Ididn’twantto hurtherfeelings,especiallynowwhenthismightbeoneofourlastinteractionstogether.
“Thinkofwhatyou’llgain,Onya.Ahusband,wealth,prosperity,childrenwhowillneverknowwhatit’sliketorationfood becauseofahardwinterandabadharvest.Yourfamilywillreceiveabountywhenyouaretiedtoanother.Theywillnever havetoworryaboutnourishmentorshelteragaineither.”Whenshepressedherlipstogether,Ithoughtshemightcry.“Maybe you’llbeluckyandfindloveaswell”
There were her romantic hopes again. Ididn’tknow how she could believe suchthings. Inmyexperience, there was no suchthingastruelove Allrelationshipsweretransactional,someburdensomeeven,andIdidn’twanttobepartofanyofthat Unfortunately,itseemedlikeIdidn’thaveachoice.
Onya
After everythingYve had justconfessed to me, Istill didn’twantto returnto myhome. Myeyes darted toward the thick woodsjustbeyondYve’shomestead Oncemore,Ithoughtaboutrunningaway Icouldreachthetreelineintwominutes flat.
Iknew this land’s terrain,hills,andvalleys well sinceI’dhuntedheresooften.Iftheycouldn’tfindme,how couldthey takemetothecapital?Surely,Iwouldn’tbethatvaluablefortheroyalguardtospendtimetohuntmedown Iwasjustoneof manygirlsheadingtotheBrullHouseandtheireventualeternalprison.
Mythoughts must’ve shownonmyface, as Yve grabbed myarmagainand squeezed tightly “Youcan’trunaway, Onya Youknowthey’llpunishyourfamilyforit.”
WeallgrewuphearingthestoriesabouttheWhiteCarriageandwhatitwouldmeanfortheluckygirlswhowereselected Yet,we’dalsoheardcautionarytalesofwhathappenedifagirlranfromherdestiny.ThemostfamousstorywasaboutHilda, wholivedinavillageclosetothemountain thoughnoonecouldagreeonthenameofthevillage.OnetimeitwasOxbrooke, andanotheritwasStormdenn,buttheendresultwasalwaysthesame
Whenthe royal guards couldn’t find Hilda, her family, her mother, father, and younger sister were stripped of all their possessions including money, home, and livestock They were forced to live on the streets, begging for food, and any townsfolkwhotriedtohelpthemwerepunishedwiththesamefate.Thestorysaysthesisterdiedearlyonfrommalnutrition, andhermotherdrownedherselfinthenearbylake
Sometimes,thetalechanged,sayingshethrewherselfoffacliff,andinothers,shecutherownthroat.Theendwasalways thesamethough.Deathanddespair.
Honestly, I never fullybelieved the story, as it seemed to change dependingonwho was tellingit, but I understood its purpose.Toinstillfearonthosewhosoughttodefythecrown.Thethoughtdidgothroughmymind,whatifitwastrue? CouldIdothattomymotherandlittlebrother?CouldIeventaketherisk?
“Iwillreturnhome.”Turningaround,Istartedupthesmallrise.Myhomesteadwasjustontheotherside,pastthedirtroad leadingintothemainvillage.
“Don’tyouwanttocleanupfirst?”Yvepointedtothebasinofwaternexttotheanimalshelter.
Ishookmyhead.“Maybetheywon’ttakemeiftheyseeamuddy,wildgirl.”
“Abitofmudwon’thideyourbeauty,Onya”
Shewasprobablyright,butIdidn’tcommentasIranupthesmallgrassyknoll.Iwantedtoholdontoanyhope,evenifit wasatinysliver,barelydiscernabletotheeye Maybetheselectorwouldtakeonelookatme themud,anddirtallovermy dress,face,andhands,evenatmyhairindisarray anddecidethatIwouldbetoomuchtroubletoturnintoalady.Thatthe effortwouldn’tbeworththeresult.
Fightingthethoughtsofescapingintothedarkforest,Itookmytimewalkingtothehouse.Iwouldhavenoproblemfending formyselfsinceIknewhowtohunt,whichbusheshadthebestberries,andwheretodigtofindmushroomsandrootstoeat.I couldeasilybuildashelterbythestreamthatranintoDarkfallTarn,andhavefreshwatertodrink Itwouldn’tbeeasy,butI coulddefinitelylivewellwithoutahouse,orfoodfromthemarket.
Mother wouldn’t be able to, though She was much too fragile
Thatwasthethoughtthatdrovemystepsforward,untilIcrossedtheroadandreachedtheedgeofmyhomestead.
TheWhiteCarriagesatinfrontofthehouse,withtwobigroanhorsesstillhitchedtothecartbyleathertraces.Thegold glintedinthesunlight,andI’dneverseensomethingsomagical Ihadtofighttheurgetotouchthedecorativewoodandmetal
Alargemaninafancywhiteandgolduniformstoodatattentionnearthecarriage,andIwonderedifhehadtoremainlike that, unmoving, the entire time Seeinghimhere, atattention, his bodystiff, made me wantto runathimto tryto topple him over,likethewoodentoysoldierswithwhichmybrotherplayed.
AsIneared,hisgazeflittedtome,eyeswidening Hetookastepforward,asiftostopmefromenteringmyhouse,butIput myhandoutindefense.
“Don’teventryit, doonga.Ilivehere.”
Beforehecouldevenrespond,Ibrushedrightpasthim
Iimaginedhewasnotusetoanyonespeakingtohiminthatmanner,callinghimastupid,lazyperson,especiallyayoung woman ItputalittlebounceinmystepwhenIcameintothemainfoyerofthelonghouse Though,thatbouncedeflatedwhenI heardmymother’svoicecomingfromthekitchen.
“Wouldyoulikesometea, damma,whilewewaitforOnyatoreturnfromherchores?”
Therecameadiscernable tsk andthenadeepgravellyvoice,thatsoundedlikesandpapertomyears.“Haveyounotsent someonetoretrieveher?Iwillnotwaitmuchlongerinthismanner.It’sdisrespectfultomeandtothecrown. Blessed Freya. Woman,haveyounosense?”
“Excusemywife, damma,sheisquitedimwitted.”
MyhandscurledintofistsasIstormedintothekitchen “Howdareyouspeakaboutmymotherlikethat?”
Istoppedamerefootawayfrommystepfather andglaredathim.Hewasatall man,butreedyandweak.Heusedtobe able to punish me when I was younger, but as soon as I didn’t wilt under his malicious gaze anymore, and began staring defiantlyathimwithoututteringasoundwhilehehitmeinthearmsandshoulderswithhisstick,hestoppedtrying.Something toldmehewasworriedIwouldsnatchthestickfromhishandandhithimwithittwiceashard.
Ifhehadcontinued,Iwould’vedonejustthat
Mymother shookher headatme,takinginmydirtystate,butthensmiled,comingtomysideandsettingher handonmy shoulder Sheturnedmeslightly,soIfacedtheoldwomansittinginoneofthekitchenchairs,hersilvertippedcaneclutchedin onebonyhand.Thematronworeablueheadscarfoverherhair,butIcouldstillseegraybraidspeekingout.Herblue,wool dresswasformlessandhungtoherfeet,thekertlepulledoverabrown,wool,longsleevedtunic.
Itwasthetraditional,sexlessuniformoftheDagmar,theonewhotrainedyounggirlstobeladies.I’dheardstoriesabout her cold,emotionlessgazeandheavilylinedroughface,thetalesweremildcomparedtotherealityofher sittinginfrontof me
Inthebackoftheroom,standingaloneandunnoticed,wasashort,rotundmanwhoseclothesstrainedoverhislargebelly. Amustacheandaclippedbeardcoveredhis facewhilehis gazeremainedfixedonme,makingmewonder whohewas and whyhewashere.
“HereismyOnya.”Mymothersqueezedmyshoulder,remindingmeofmymanners.“Isn’tshebeautiful?Withafacelike Freya”
Holdingmyhandsinfrontofmybody,Iloweredmyeyes,thenbowedtotheoldwoman,aswascustomwhengreetingan elder WhenIstraightened, she was scrutinizingeveryinchofme Itmade me extremelyuncomfortable, butIknew Ihad to endureit.
“Whyareyousomuddy,child?” “I,ah,washelpingmyfriendwithherpigs.”
“Youmustbestrongthen.”
“Iam”
Mymotherpokedmeintheside.“Don’tbesoimpudent,Onya.Ladiesshouldneverbeboastful.”
“Well,I’mnotalady NorwillIeverbe”MywordswereaclearchallengetotheDagmarasImatchedhergaze Hersmallsmilewasunexpected.
Mystepfatherkickedmeinthesideofmycalf “Yourrudenessisembarrassingthisfamily Embarrassingme” Iwhipped around to glare athim. Satisfactionfilled me whenIsaw himslightlyflinchback, his eyes fallingto the fist curledatmyside.
TheDagmartskedagain “Leaveherbe She’sshowingmeexactlywhosheis,andwhatImustworkwith” Surprised,Iturnedbacktoher.ThiswasnotgoingasIhadplanned.Iwantedhertobedisgustedwithmyimpetuousness, withmyrebelliousnature,notintrigued
“Courtisn’taneasyplaceforayoungwoman,”sheexplained.“Herobvioushard-headednessmightwellbeanasset.That isnotaplaceforsomeoneweak.”
“So,you’lltakehertothecapital?”mymotherasked,hervoicesmall. Itwashardtotellifshewaspleasedorupsetatthepossibility.I’dhopedshewouldbeupsetasIwastheonlyonewho
protectedherwhenIverwasdrunk,inarage,andlookingforanoutlet.
TheDagmar stoodandslowlymovedcloser tome,her grayeyeslikeiciclespiercingmyfleshwhileshescrutinizedmy face Liftinghercane,shepressedthetiptothesideofmyjawandturnedmyheadonewaythentheother “Showmeyourteeth,girl.”
Itiltedmyheadup,liftingmyupperlipinasneer
Satisfied,shenoddedandgraspedmyupperarm,squeezingittightly.Herhandwenttomywaistnext,movingdownover myhip Shepressedhardagainstmybones
“Sheiscomely,tobesure,despiteallthemudtryingtohideit.She’squiteangularthough,butseemstohavegood,sturdy hips.”TheDagmartookastepback,hergazefallingtomychest.
Myhandinstinctivelymovedtocovermyself,butmymotherpulledmyarmdowntomysideagain
“Herbosomissmall,butofcourse,thatwillchangewhensheisheavywithchild.”
The notion of having children, of my body growing and expanding with a new human life inside my womb, made my stomachroil.NausearolledovermeandIhadtobitedownonmylowerlipfromreactingtothatfeeling.
NeverhadIexpressedthesethoughtstoanyone,wouldn’tdarespeakthemoutloud,butIdidn’twanttobeboundtoaman orhavechildren.Iwantedalifeofadventureandfreedom.Beingtiedtoonepersonandtoahomejustdidn’tappealtome.
However,Iknewthatamongmypeople,andthegirlsIgrewupwith,mythoughtswerenotnormal.So,I’dalwaysresigned tokeepingthemtomyselfandfiguringoutaplantowigglemywayoutofsuchasituation,evenifbymyquick-wittedtongue and sheer will alone. I’d managed to stave offseveral marriage proposals over the pastyear bybeingobstinate and cutting withmyremarks Nomanwantedatroublesomewife
Now,Iwasfacedwithsuchalife.OnenotinmyvillagewhereIcouldfindsomesolaceandsupportinmymotherandmy friends,butinthecapital,acityI’dneverhopedtoeverseeinmylifetime.AplaceIneverwantedtobepartof.Ineveronce thoughtaboutbeingnobleorbeingamongtheroyalelite.
Whilesomeofthegirlsinmyvillagedreamedofmeetingtheprince,fallinginlove,andbeingaprincesswithacastlein thebustleandchaosofthebigcity,Idreamtofchasingdeerthroughthewoodswithmybow,ofjumpingintocoldlakesaftera harddayofsweatywork,oflayingonthegrassyplainwhilelookingupatthevastskyofsparklinglights,wonderingwhythey existed
“Iassumeshe’smenstruated.”
Iwassettotellthetruth,thatIhadn’tbledyet.Thatthevillagehealertoldmethatitwasn’tunheardofbutrare. Butmymothernodded.“Ofcourseshehas.”
The Dagmar nodded with satisfaction. “Pack your bag with some personal items and essential clothes, then say your goodbyestoyourfamily,child Wewillbeleavingforthecapitalwithinthehour”
Asmallgaspescapedmymother’slipsandIturnedtolookather.Tearswelledinhereyes,whichtoreatmyheart.Iknew hertearsweren’tonlyforme,butforherselfandmybrotherPeder I’dbeentheonlythingstandingbetweenthemandIver’s temper.
“No,”Ideclared,turningbacktotheDagmar.
Theoldwomanfrowned,thelinesonherfacecuttingdeepintoherflesh Shemadethatoffendedtskingsoundagain “What doyoumean,no?”
“Iwon’tleave Irefuse to go to the capital There are plentyofother prettygirls inthe village who would jump atthe chancetomarrysomestupid,fatnoblemanandhavebabies.”
Mystepfatherflinchedbesideme “Youinsolentbitch!”Heraisedhishandtostrikeme,buttheDagmar’scanestoppedhis blowwithanaudible smack againsthisforearm.
“YoudarestrikeawardoftheBrullHouse?”theDagmar’seyesflashedlikeiceatIver.“Youcouldbepubliclywhipped forsuchanact”
Itmademehappytoseetruefearinhiseyesasheloweredhisarm,favoringitabitwherehe’dgottenhit.I’dneverseen mystepfatherafraid,soIhopedithurtandleftabruisetoremindhimofhisfailuretohitme
Hebowedhishead.“Pleaseforgiveme, damma.Iforgotmyselfforamoment.”
Her derisive sniff easily discounted his words before her steely gaze focused on me again “I don’t think you truly understandthesituation,girl.Youshouldbegratefulforthisopportunitytotraveltothecapitalandfulfillyourdutyofbirthing thenextlineageofnoblecitizens.Itisagreathonor,andyoushouldtreatitwiththerespectitdeserves.”
DefianceroseinmeoncemoreasIstaredather,carefullyconsideringmynextwords Thensheleanedintomyear.“Thinkaboutyourmotherandyourlittlebrother,andtheirfate.”Shepulledawayandturned herbackonme “Packlightly,whenwereachtheBrullHouseyouwillbegivenanewwardrobefittingofapotentialladyof thecourt.”
TheDagmarleftthekitchenbeforeIcouldrespondtoherlastwords.Theyweredefinitelyathreat.Thestoriesaboutwhat happenedifagirlrefusedtheselectionmust’vebeentrue.Shehadgivenmenochoicebuttoacceptmyfate.
Onceshewasgone,thefatmanleft,sodidmystepfather.Itwasjustmeandmymother,frozenonthespotattherealization
ofthesituation.Hertearsfellasshegrabbedmyarmandturnedmetofaceher,butIdidn’treachouttostopthem.AndIwas toonumbtocry.
“I’msorry,”shestammered Frowning,Ilookeddownather.Whatwasshesorryabout?Itwasn’therfaultthattheDagmarcametocollectmeforher stableofbroodmares
Pullingherintomyarms,Ihuggedhertightly.“It’sokay,mama.I’llbefine.YoujustmakesureyoulookafterPederanddo whateveryouhavetodotostaysafe”Ipushedherbackandlookedherintheeyes “Don’tlethimhurtyouanymore”
Shewipedather tears butignoredwhatI’djustsaidtoher.“Writetomeifyoucan.Iwanttohear everythingaboutthe capitalandaboutthefineyoungmenwhowillbegtocourtyou.”
Ismirkedatthe“fineyoungmen”part Inmyopinion,therewasnosuchthingasafinenobleman Theylivedintheirgilded houseswithservants,balls,andbanquets,whiletheirpeoplestruggledtoeat.
Finally,Isighed “Mama,youcan’tread”
“I’llgetPedertoreadittome.He’sbeendoingreallygoodinhisschooling.”
TothatInodded “I’llwriteasoftenasIcan”
Earnestly,she cuppedmyface withher hands.“IwishIcould’ve done more for you,Onya.Ifeel like Ifailedyouinso manyways.”
Icoveredherhandswithmine “Iknowitwasn’teasyafterPapadied Iknowyouhadtomakehardchoicestokeeparoof overmyandPeder’sheads.Ineverblamedyoufor him. ”
Standingonhertoes,mamakissedmyforehead “Ihopeyouknowthatyouareloved,mygirl”
Pain sliced through the numbness, and I had to bite my bottom lip to stop tears from welling in my eyes. I couldn’t remember the lasttime mymother had kissed me or told me that Iwas loved. Maybe just after myfather died whenIwas eleven.
Thenshedroppedherhandsandsteppedback,wipingawaythetears.“Gocleanyourselfup,packyourbag,andthensay yourgoodbyestoPeder”
Hardeningmyself,Ileftmymotherinthekitchen,andwentintotheseparatesmallareainthelonghousethatPederandI shared AplaceforsleepingandquietmomentsforuswhereIwouldoftenreadorwhittleanew toyforPeder Webothhad smallcots,themattressstuffedwithsoftgrass,theblanketsmadefromcottonandfurlinedforthecoldwintermonths.
TherewasalsoasmallbasinofcoolwatersittingonthewindowsillthatI’dusedtowashearlythismorning.Iuseditnow towipeoffthemudfrommyface,neck,andarms.Ididn’thavetimetowashmyhair,soIjustuntieditfromthenapeofmy neckandranacombthroughit.Itdidn’thelpwiththemultitudeoftanglesinit,butIcouldn’tbebotheredtofixthatbeforeI rolleditupalongthebackofmyneckandrefastenedit
Removingmyoverdress and the sheathunderneathit, Igrabbed mythinner burgundycottondress, and pulled itover my head,wrappingmywideleatherbeltaroundit,thenbucklingittotheside Ididn’thaveasecondpairofgoodwalkingboots, so I just managed by wiping the caked-on mud from the leather. My favorite, thick wool cape fell comfortably over my shoulders to keep me warmeveninwinter, and Ifastened itwitha silver broochmymother gifted to me onmyeighteenth birthday
It was inthe shape of a dragonso I thought it fitting, consideringthe capital was veryclose to Fire Mountainand the birthplaceofthedragonmyths Maybethetalismanwouldprotectme
Next,Igrabbedasmall leather bagfromthecorner thatIoftentookoutwithmewhenIwenthuntingfor small game it usuallycarriedthe bracers thatprotectedmyforearms whenusingmybow,leather gloves for pullingthe bowstring,andmy beltsheathwhichheldmysmallirondagger.Iremovedthebracersandglovesbutlefttheknife.Justincase.Finally,Ishoved anothercottondressinsideit,mywarmunderclothes,andmyleather-boundjournalwhereIwroteanddrew.
Packed,Itookonelast,longlookattheroomI’dgrownupin Inallhonesty,IknewthatIeventuallywouldhaveleftthis house to have a house of my own, but I never thought I’d be taken against my will across the country, to live an entirely differentlife
Ipinchedmylegtostopfromcrying.Itwouldn’tdomeanygoodtobeseenasfragileandweak.Although,Ididn’tknow muchaboutlifeinthecapital,IdidknowthatIwasgoingtoaverydangerousplace,amongdangerouspeople,andIcouldn’t allowmyselftobeseenasatargetforthosewhowishedtobullyandabuse.
Baginhand,Ilefttheroomandwentinsearchofmylittlebrother.Ieasilyfoundhimoutside,playingwithoneofthestray dogsthatlivedinandaroundourhomestead,andYve’s Pederoftenfedthedogsscrapsfrommealsthathehidinhispockets soMotherandIverwouldn’tsee.Mymotherknewthough.Iwouldoftencatchhersmilingwhenhethoughtnoonewaslooking, andputacrustofbreadinhispocket
Mybrothersquattedontheground,pettingoneofthemangymutts theonehecalledMuckbecausethedogsmelled like cowmanure.HisheadliftedasIapproached,hisgazetrackingthebaginmyhand.
“Areyougoinghunting?”heasked,skippingovertome.“CanIcomethistime?IpromiseI’llbequietandwon’tscarethe birdsoff.”
“I’mnotgoinghunting.”Mythroatgrewtight.“I’m,ah,goingonatrip.”
“Atrip?”Hefrowned.“Towhere?”
“I’mgoingtothecapital”
Peder’seyesgrewbig.“Youare?Forhowlong?Willyoubringmebackapresent?”
Ihatedseeingtheexcitementonhisface,knowingIwasgoingtocrushit Isetmyhandontopofhisflaxencoloredhead It woulddarkenasheaged,asithadwithmine.“Idon’tknowhowlongI’llbegone.So,you’reinchargenow.Youhavetotake careofMother”
Itwasclearhewasabouttoarguewithme,soIgrabbedhischinbetweenmyfingersandlookedhimdeadintheeyes,let himknowthatwhatIwastellinghimwasseriousandthatheneededtolistencarefullytome.
“DoyouunderstandwhatI’msayingtoyou,Peder?AbouttakingcareofMother?”
Slowly,henodded,hiseyeswellingwithtears.“You’renotcomingback,areyou?”
Foralongmoment,Ijustglancedathim,butthenshrugged,hopingtolightenthesituationalittle “Youneverknow Life hasawayofsurprisinguseverynowandthen.”
Heslammedintome,wrappinghisarmsaroundmywaist,huggingmehardandtightly
Overwhelmedwithemotion,Ipattedhishead,leaningdowntohisear.“IfIcanmakeitback,Iwill.So,youmustbestrong now,tomakesurethere’sstillahometocomebackto.Youcan’tletIverdestroyit.”
“Iwon’t”Hesniffledintomyside
IuntangledPeder’s arms andpushedhimback.IfIlethim,hewouldclingtomeall thewayoutthegatetothecarriage waitingfor me onthe road Tappinghis head once more, Iwalked away, not daringto lookbackat him, or the house My motherwouldbestandinginoneofthewindowstowatchmeleaveandIdidn’twanttoseehereyesfilledwithtears.
Slingingmybagover myshoulder,Itrudgeddownthedirtroadleadingawayfrommyhome.AsInearedthesmall barn wherewekeptourhorseandallthetillingmachinesforthegardenthathadhardlygrownanythingthisyear,voicescamefrom insideit.Oneofthembelongedtomystepfather.SinceIdidn’twanthimtoseeme,Icreptclosertothestructureandpressed myselfupagainstthewall,peeringaroundthecornerandthroughtheopendoor
Iverstoodthere,talkingtothefatmanI’dseeninthekitchenearlier.Themanhandedmystepfatheralargeleathersatchel thatresembledthecoinpurseIcarriedonmarketdays Exceptmuchbigger “Onehundredgold,theagreeduponprice,”thefatmanoffered.
Iver’sbushyeyebrowscametogether.“Iwastolditwouldbeonehundredandfiftyforher.”
“OnehundredtotakehertotheBrullHouse,buttheextrafiftyispaidifshemanagestowedanobleman.Ifshefailsand becomesa hendey,youdon’tgettheextrapayment.Aservantisnotworththepriceofawife.”
ItfeltlikeI’dbeenslappedintheface ThecollectorsfortheBrullHousehadn’tcometomyvillagebecausethey’dheard aboutmeandmybeauty.Theycamebecausemystepfathersoldme.Likeabroodmare.Likecattle.Likeapigfortheslaughter.
Iduckeddownbehindthebarrelofwaterasthefatmancameoutofthebarnandheadeddownthepathtothemainroad Whenhewasoutofsight,Istoodagainandpeeredintothebarn.Grinninglikeaweasel,Iveropenedthepouchandgrabbeda fistfullofgoldcoins.Hemarveledatthem,thendroppedthembackintothesatchel.
Mystomachrolledoveratthesight Iwatchedashehidthecoinpurseunderabaleofhay Itwasaplacemymotherwould never happenuponbecauseshenever cameintothebarn.Thebastardwashidingthemoneyfromher.Moneythatcouldand wouldchangehercircumstances
Iwalkedawayfromthebarn,notdowntheroadtothewaitingcarriagelikeIshouldhave,marchingintothehouseinstead tothekitchenwheremymotherhadbeenstandingatthewindowtowatchmeleave Surprised,sheturnedtomewhenIapproached.“Whatareyou ?”
Urgently,Igrabbedherbytheupperarms.“IversoldmetotheDagmarandisgoingtohidethatmoneyfromyou.”Blood drainedfromherface,andsheopenedhermouthtoaskquestions,butthelookinmyeyestoppedher “Hehidthebagofcoins inthebarn,underthehayinthefarcorner.Prepareatimeanddaytoleavehim,you,andPeder,andarrangetogoandstaywith AuntyHelly Whenyou’reready,gotothebarn,getthecoins,andleave” “Onya…I ”
“Promisemeyou’lldothis,Mother Iwon’tbeabletoleaveotherwise” Sheheldmygazeforalongmoment,thenfinallynodded.“Ipromise.” My hands dropped. “However long it takes me, no matter what I must do, I will return here and I will kill Iver for everythinghehasdone ThatisapromiseImaketoyou”
Onya
BythetimeIreachedthewaitingcarriage,alongwiththreecoveredwagonsonthemainroadleadingoutofFreyhavento headeast,Iwasexhausted Notphysically,asitwasn’talongwalkfrommyhousetotheroad,butemotionally Iwasso drainedthatIcould’veeasilycollapsedonthegroundandslept,butIdidn’thavethatluxuryasmyfightagainstmyfatewas juststarting.
WhenIapproachedtheWhiteCarriage,thedriveropenedthedoor,kickeddownthesteps TheDagmarsteppedout,hiking upherlongskirt.
“Youarelate”
“Well,it’stoobadyoudidn’tleavewithoutme.”
Hercanesmackedmeinthethigh She’dactedsoquicklythatIhadn’texpectedit Itstung,butI’dhadworse,soIkeptmy faceneutral,asifitdidn’taffectme.
“Youwoulddowelltoholdyourtongue,girl.”
“IthoughtitwasablasphemytostrikeawardofBrullHouse?”Iknew Iwaspushingmyluck,butIwantedhertoknow thatIwouldn’tbeaneasytarget.
“Notbyme,itisn’t”Hergrayeyesflashedsharply Sheraisedhercaneagain,andIthoughtIwasgoingtogetablowto theheadthistime,butinstead,shepointedtothewagondirectlybehindthecarriage.“Youwillrideinthatone.”
AsItrudgedtowardthewaitingwagon,Itookinthemultitudeofguardsonhorsebackcanteringbackandforthalongthe road,andtheguardsonfoot,swordssheathedonhiltsaroundtheirwaists.Theyalllookedoutfittedforwarandnotasimple accompanimenttothecaravan.Itmademewonderiftheywereexpectingtroublealongtheroutetothecapital.
WhenIreachedthecart,oneoftheguardswhohadbeenstationednearby,tippedhisheadtomeandofferedhishandto helpmeboard.Icould’veeasilygotteninonmyown,butdecidedI’dplaythegamealittle.Acceptinghishelp,Ipushedthe canvascoverasideandsteppedinsideit Fivesetsofeyeslookedupatme Fourofthemwerecurious,theotheronewasfull ofcontempt.
Therewasanothergirlinthewagon,sittingbyherselfwhiledressedinasimple,brownwoolsheath,andaheadcovering similar totheonetheDagmar wore,butnotaselaborate.Shedidn’tlookatmethough,her gazewassetonthefloor.Itwas obviousthatshedidn’twanttodrawanyattentiontoherself.
“Ugh,wereallydidcometothedregsofthecountry,”thecontemptuousonerolledherbigblueeyes,asshestuckhertiny noseupintotheair.Atmyside,myhandsinstantlycurledintofists.Ifshehadbeenoneofthevillagegirls,Imight’vethrowna punch
Thegirlworeaburgundydresswithfittedarms,puffedupshoulders,andformfittingbodice.Hergoldenblondhairwasin alongbraiddrapedoverhershoulder.Clearly,shecamefromsomesortofwealth;herfatherwasprobablyalandlord,asshe seemedlikeapersonaccustomedtolookingdownatotherslessfortunate.
Instantly,Idislikedher,andwiththewaysheregardedme,thefeelingwasmostdefinitelymutual.
“Don’tmindher”Oneoftheothergirlsgrabbedmyhandandpulledmedownontothecushionedbenchnexttoher “Ithink thatsincewe’reallinthistogether,weshouldbefriends.”
Her smile was bigand warm, genuine She was dressed similarlyto me, simple and of spare means, but her generous
curvesfilledoutherbluedressmorethanminedid.Herhairwasdarkaswell,whichwasnotoftenseenaroundthearea.The girlmust’vecomefromavillagefromupnorth.
“I’mIren That’sMina,Linn,Dagny,andMargo”Shegesturedtotheothergirlsseatedonthetwobenchesoneithersideof thewagon.Thelastofthem,Margo,seemedtohavealreadymadeuphermindaboutme,anditwasn’tfriendlyinanyway.
“I’mOnya”
Ionlyhadafewminutestogetsettledbeforethewagonstartedtomove.ItwasgoingtobealongjourneyacrossAndlang toJarlstad,thecapital,threedaysatleast,soIwasthankful wehadcushionstositon,andafteraquicksurveyofthecart,I saw we had some rations ofdried fruitand water to share. Since Iimagined we would make camp whenitgottoo darkto traveltheroadsafely,sleepingtogetherinthewagon,MargobetterhopethatIdidn’tsleepnearher,orshewasgoingtogeta kickinthelegduringthenight
Forthefirstlittlebit,thegirlsallsharedabitaboutthemselves.I’dbeenrightaboutIren;shewasfromasmallvillagein thenorthcalledFrostford I’dalsobeenrightaboutMargo Shewas fromabigger townwestofFreyhavencalledGullvale, whichtranslatedintothevalleyofgold.
NotthatIcaredtoask,butIknew withouta doubtthatshe was the daughter ofa landlord The privilege was etchedon everythingabouther,herclothes,hershoes,themannerinhowshespokeandintheperfectpalenessofherskin.Sheprobably hadn’tworkedadayoutsideinherlife.Lifeatcourtlikelywouldn’tbemuchdifferentforher.Itwouldfitherwelljustlikethe fabricaroundherchest
Apetite girl withstrawberryblondhair andbiggreeneyes,LinnIthought,startedtalkingabouthow the White Carriage justshowedupinhervillageandimmediatelycametoherhouse,andwhatashockithadbeentoherandherparents
“IwassosurprisedwhentheDagmarsteppedoutofthecarriageandcameintoourhometotalktome.”Herhandfluttered atherchest.“Tothinkthatshe’dheardaboutmeandhadtraveledallthatwaytobringmetothecapital.”
Dagnynodded.“Yes,itwasquitesurprisingbutexcitingformetoo.”
Margomadealittlesnickeringnoise,butturnedawaywhenIglancedather.“Surprisingtome,too…thatsomeofyouare here”HerwordsweremuffledbutIheardherwell,asdidtheothergirls
Igesturedtoher.“Youweren’tsurprisedwhentheyshoweduponyourdoor,Isuppose.”
“Notreally,no I’vehadseveraloffersofmarriagefromvariousnoblemeninmytown,butIturnedthemalldownknowing thattheWhiteCarriagewouldcomeforme.Iwasdestinedtomarrywellandliveinthesplendorofthecapital.”
Chuckling,Ishookmyhead.
“Youthinkthat’sfunny?”Sheglaredatme.
“Notreally,”Iadmitted.“Ithinkthiswholeruseistragic.”
Irenfrowned “Whatdoyoumeanruse?”
“The White Carriage didn’t come because someone fromthe capital heard of ‘our beauty.’I stared Margo in the eyes, makingsureshereallyheardandunderstoodmynextwords Ididn’tknowwhy,Iwasn’tnormallyapettyorvindictiveperson, butIwantedtodeflateheregoandhurtherpride.“EachofourfamiliessoldustotheBrullHouseforgoldcoin.”
AsIren’seyeswidened,sheflinchedback,asifI’djustslappedheracrosstheface.“Whywouldyousaysuchathing?”
“Becauseit’strue”
Theothers all balkedatmywords,buthesitationcloudedsomeoftheir gazes,as iftheywere goingover the events that broughtthemintothiswagonwithfiveothergirlsfromdifferentpartsofthecountry Remainingsilent,theytriedtodecideifit madeanysense.Thelonegirlinthecornerinstantlysnappedherheaduptolookoveratme.
“You’relying,”Margosneered
“WhywouldIlieaboutsuchathing?”
“Becauseyou’retryingtoupsetme.”
Itwastellingthatshe’donlymentionedupsettingherandnottheothergirls Although,I’djustmether,Iwasn’tsurprised I knew girls likeher self-centered,arrogant,onlyconcernedwithhow events affectedthem.Notcaringifthosearoundthem gotinjured,aslongastheyweresafe
“Letmeaskyouthis,then.WhentheDagmarvisitedyou,wasthereashort,fatmanwithabeardalsopresent?”
Margo’sgazedropped,makingitobviousthatI’dbeenright
“Yes,Iremember him.He justhoveredinthe backgroundandnever spoke toanyone,” Irenexplained,andthe others all nodded.
“BeforeIleft,Isawthismangivemystepfatherabagofgold Hepaidhimonehundredcoinsforme” Linngasped,herhandflutteringtoherthroat.“Itcan’tbe.”
“Mystepfatherwouldgetanotherfiftygoldcoinsifsomenoblemandecidedthathelikedmeenoughtotiehandswithme andmakemehisbroodmare.ButwouldgetnomoremoneyifIwastoberejected.”
AsIspoke,thegirl withtheheadcoveringavidlywatchedmeandlistenedtomywords,makingmesensethatsheknew whatIwastalkingabout.SheworkedfortheBrullHouse,soIimaginedsheknewallkindsofthingsthatwouldshockus.
“Maybethat’swhathappenedtoyou,”Margosneered.“Iwouldn’tbesurprised,consideringhowyoulookandact.Butmy
fatherandmotherwouldneverdothattome.”Sheflippedherbraidoffhershoulder.“Besides,it’snotlikemyfamilyneeds money.Wehavelotsoflandandtenantspayingrent.”
“But what about queenGudrid?” Mina asked, her eyes pleadingwhenshe leaned forward “She was plucked fromher smallvillagebytheDagmarbecauseshewassobeautiful,broughttothecapitalandmarriedtheking.”
Myheadshookattheabsurdity “It’sastory Astorytomakeusfeellikeweweredestinedtobechosen,tobetrainedatthe BrullHouse.Intruth,it’sjustanotherwayforthenoblestoownus,toforceustohavebabies.”
Everyoneofthemgasped Irenevenflinchedawayfromme,andIrealizedtoolatethatIshouldn’thaveexpressedmytrue thoughtsandfeelings.Thesegirlsweren’tmyfriends,andIwasn’tgoingtoafriendlyplace.Ineededtoguardmyselfmore.
“Idon’tthinkyouneedtoworryaboutthat,”Margosnickered.“Nonoblemanisgoingtowantyouforawife.You’lllikely endupasa hendey,”shegesturedtothegirlwiththeheadscarf,“andworkinthecapitalfortherestofyourlifeasaservant” ThoughIdidn’tknowtheword hendey, Iunderstoodaboutbeingaservant.Iknewthatwasapossibility,especiallyforme, consideringIwasn’tthemostamiableyoungwoman Hadn’tIalreadyjusttoldtheDagmarthatitwouldbeimpossibletoturn meintoalady?
“I’dratherbeaservantthanbeboundtosomerich,fatoldmanwhoIhavetoobedientlybedathiswhim” “Stop it!” Iren glared at us both. “We have a long trip head of us and having you two arguing the whole way will be bothersome.Besides,itdoesn’treallymatterhowweallgothere.Theseareourcircumstancesnow,andweneedtolearnhow tolivewithit”
“I’mexcitedaboutlivinginthecapital,”Minaadmitted,grabbingDagny’shand.“We’ll getfinedressesandsleepinbig comfybeds and eatwhateverwewant ThatisafarcryfromwhatIwould’vebeenofferedinmyvillage” Dagnynodded.“I’mexcitedtoo.”
Ithoughtaboutarguingwiththem,tryingtogetthemtounderstandthetruth,butthegirlwiththeheadscarfslowlyshookher head atme. She was tellingme to shutup, and for once inmylife, Idecided to listen. Itwouldn’tdo me or themanygood anyway.
Pressingmylipstogether,Idiscreetlysliddownthebench,awayfromtheotherswhiletheychattedamiablyaboutallthe good food and fine things theywere goingto have once theyarrived atBrull House. Icrossed myarms over mychestand restedmyheadbackagainstthewagon Iwasn’tsureIcouldsleep,butIclosedmyeyesanywaytotry Atleastitwouldgive meanexcusenottoengagewiththeothersforawhile.Theywereprobablyhappyaboutthataswell.
I must’ve dozed off, because the suddenstop of the wagonjerked me upward, makingme feel disoriented. The jarring motionthrewtwoofthegirlsoffthebenchandontothefloor.Outside,Icouldhearconcernedshoutsandthecloppingofhorse hooves.Somethinghadhappened.
Astheothershelpedeachotherup,Imovedovertothecanvasflapthatactedlikethedoorandlifteditslightly,stickingmy headouttoseewhatwashappening.Oneofourguardsstoodatattentionatthefrontofthewagon.
“Hey,”Ishoutedathim “What’sgoingon?”
“I guess there’s a downed tree blocking the road,” he replied without looking back at me. His gaze searching the surroundingwoods,andhishandwenttothehiltofhissword.“The Asatora Drecki maybelurkingintheshadows.”
Frowning, Ipeered into the thickwoods thatlined bothsides ofthe road rightwhere he had I’d read aboutthe Asatora Drecki ina bookmarked forbiddenbythe elders. Marcus, one of the older village boys, stole it fromthe elder house and showed itto me tryingto impress me Isupposed We’d read ittogether one late night, hidinginthe barnwhile sippingon mulledwine,somethinghe’dalsostolen.
Theywere supposedlya brutal gangofkillers and thieves who believed thatthe dragons were still the rightful rulers of Andlang.Theirsolegoalwastofindthelastdragon.Foryears,theyhadbeenroamingthecountryandelsewheretolocate the Lord of Fire,cuttingdownanyoneintheirway.
I’dscoffedwhileIreadthatsmallpassage,asIdidn’tbelievethereweredragons Maybeathousandyearsago,butthey diedofflongago.Itwasmadnesstobelongtoagrouplikethat.ImadementionofthattoMarcus,buthethoughtitwouldbe thrillingtobepartofsomethinglikethat Thrillingwasn’tthewordIwould’veused Afterward,I’dprettymuchdismissedthe ideathatagrouplikethatexisted.
Obviously,I’dbeenwrongasIcoulddefinitelyhearfearintheguard’svoice
Thetallthicktreesoneithersideoftheroadalllookedhealthy,notrotten.Theonlythingthatmight’vefelledalargetree likethatwouldhavebeenlightning,excepttherehadn’tbeenastormintheareaforweeks.
Iwasabouttoaskformoreinformationbutthe thwap soundofanarrowflyingthroughtheairstoppedme,andthe thunk of itasitspearedtheguardrightthroughtheneck.
Onya
Bloodspurtedfromtheguard’sneck,ashefell totheground.Instinctively,hereachedfor thearrow topull itout,butthat wouldn’thavesavedhim Thesecondthatirontippiercedhisfleshhewasadeadman Iwasn’ta stranger to death. As a hunter, youhad to be firminyour resolve to take a life, butthathad always beenfor survival,forsustenance.Thiswasbrutalkilling,anditmademystomachrolloverindisgust.
“What’sgoingon?”
“Who’sshouting?”
Theothergirlsworriedlyaskedbehindme
Before I could pull myhead backinto tell themwhat was happening, three mendressed inblackleather and carrying curvedswordssprintedoutfromthedarknessofthethickwoods
Theirlonghairwastiedbacktorevealtheirsun-witheredfaces,butbeardsofvaryinglengthsstillobscuredtheirfeatures. Oneman’sjacketonlyhadonesleeve,clearlyshowinginkmarkingsresemblingthescalesofasnakeonhisexposedarm.
I’dneverseenmenlikethose,theyweredefinitelynot Andlangers
Hopingthestrangemenhadn’tnoticedme,Iduckedbackunderthecoverofthewagon.
Irengrabbedmyarm,panicflaringinhereyes “Somethingbadishappening,isn’tit?”
Therewasnopointinlyingor tryingtoplacatethem.Itwouldn’tdoanyoneanygoodnottobepreparedfor theworst.I nodded “We’reunderattack”
“Bywho?”Linnjumpedtoherfeet.
“I’mnotsure.”Istartedsearchingthespaceforanythingtouseasaweapon.“Doanyofyouknowhowtofight?”
Moreshoutscamefromoutside,followedbyhorseshooves “ProtecttheDagmaratallcosts!”
“Securethewagons!They’reafterthewomen”
The guards’shouts sentthe girls into a tizzy, everysetofeyes wideninginhorror. Margo was aboutto openher mouth, probablytoscream,soIgrabbedherandclampedmyhandoverherlips.“Don’tscream.They’llhearyou.”
Shestruggledagainstmyhold,thenbitdownonmyhand.Itstunginstantly,soIpulledmyarmback.WhenIlookeddownat thepalm,Ifoundthat,thankfully,shehadn’tbrokenskin,butIcoulddefinitelyseesometeethmarks.Obviously,thegirl had somefightinher,whichwasgood,becauseIsuspectedweweregoingtoneedit
Ifoundashovelnearthebackofthewagon,ahelpfultooltouseifweevergotstuckinthemudandhandedittoMargo. Outofallofthem,Ideducedshe’dbetheonewhotoswingthehardestatanyoneattackingher Theothersmightprovetobe toosqueamishforviolence,eveniftodefendthemselves.
Myattentionshiftedtothegirlwiththescarf.“Doyouhavesomethingfordefense?Surely,youknowhowtofight?” Shenodded,pickingupthewoodenstaffthathadbeenlyingnexttoherfeet.
“Youstayhereandstayquiet.”IgesturedtotheothersbeforeIopenedmybagandtookoutmydagger,grippingitwiththe bladedownsoitwaseasiertowield “I’mgoingtogocheckonthesituation” Irengrabbedmyarm.“Weshouldallstayheretogether.Youmightgethurt.”
“Theguardswillprotectus,”Linnassured,“I’mnotsurewhatyouthinkyoucandoforusbutdrawattention”
Shewasprobablyright,butIcouldn’tjuststayhereanddonothing.Ifeltvulnerablejustwaitingforsomethingtohappen, waitingto be attacked,and Ihatedthatsensation.Ifwe were goingto be attackedbythe Asatora Drecki, Iwanted to see it coming,soIcouldatleasthavesometimetoreactandprotectmyself
“I’llcomewithyou.”Thegirlwiththescarfmovedtothefrontofthewagon. “What’syourname?”
“Ester.”Hervoicequiveredalittle.
Itouchedhershouldertotryandreassureher,butmyhandalsoshook,soIsnatcheditback,tuckingitintomysidetohide it.“I’ll takealooktomakesureit’ssafe,thenwe’ll quietlystepoutandstandbythehorses.”Ididn’tsayit,buttheanimals wouldmakegoodshieldsfor usfromarrows.Although,Iwonderedifitwouldbebesttounhookthemfromthecartsothey didn’tgallopoffinapanic,takingthegirlswiththemandriskingevenmoreharm
Slowly, Ilifted the flap and peered out. Several guards rantoward the wagons infront ofthe White Carriage, shouting instructionstoeachother,butsofar,itseemedthatourwagonwasnotdirectlyunderattack “Okay,let’sgo.”
Ipushedthecanvasaside,andcrouching,Ijumpedtotheground,thenturnedtohelpEstersoshedidn’tfall Oncewewere outside, Isearched the immediate area around us. Fightingsounds came frominfrontofus and behind us. There were two guardsstandingbythehorses,andtheybothturnedinsurprisewhenweemerged.
The bigger one with a broad face and hawk-like nose swung around with his dagger raised “What the blazes are you doing?!Getbackinthewagon!”
“Wewanttohelp,”Ioffered,onlyforhimtoscoff
“Howcanyouhelp?Youarewomen,tooweaktofight.”
“You’retooimportanttothekingdom.You’retobeprotected.”Theotherguardtriedtograbmyarmtoliftmebackintothe wagon,butIsteppedaway,dodginghisattempt.
“Isitthe Asatora Drecki attackingus?”Iasked.
Thesecondguardshookhishead “No,it’sslaversfromKatharos;theyareworse” Withoutanotherword,thebigguardtookholdofEsteranddraggedherbacktotheothers.Iwasabouttostophimwhen twobigmeninblackleatherchargedoutofthetrees Thesightofthemnearlyloosenedmybladder Iquicklygotinbehindoneofthehorses.Notthebestposition,consideringonesolidkicktomymidsectionwouldbreak allmyribs.OnekicktotheheadandI’dlikelybedroolingoutofthesideofmymouthfortherestofmylife ifIevenlived. Yet,IfiguredI’dtakemychanceswiththehorsethanwiththebig,scarymanandhisbig,scaryblade.
BeforetheguardcarryingEstercouldturnanddrawhissword,oneofthemeninblackswipedhisbladeacrosshisback.It cutthroughtheguard’sleathervestandtohisskin,bloodstainingtheswordastheslaverlifteditagaintostrike
AstheguarddroppedEster,shelandedawkwardlyontheground,herkneebucklingtotheside.Yet,theguardswiveled, drawinghisswordjustintimetoblocktheslaver’snextswing Theclangingsoundofclashingbladesechoedaroundus,andI winced,notexpectingittobesoaggressiveandloud.
While those two clashed swords, Ilostsightofthe other slaver and guard. Aquickglance to the wagon, showed Ester strugglingtogettoherfeet Shewasoutintheopenandvulnerable,soIdashedfrommyhidingspotbetweenthehorsestoher side.Grabbingherarm,Iyankedhertoherfeet.Unfortunately,Ihadtosheathmybladetodoso,sinceIcouldn’tcarryitand heratthesametime
“Youshould hide,” she urged me. “They’re lookingfor girls like you, notme. I’ll be safe as longas Idon’tgetintheir way”
“I’mnotleavingyou.”
Istartedtodragherback,togetherbehindthewagonbutthesecondslavercamewalkingoutfromaroundthefrontofthe horses Therewasbloodsplatteredonhisfaceandhands,andIdidn’thavetoseethebodytoknowthathe’dslaughteredthe otherguard.
Mystomachchurnedatthesightofhimbloodywithawildlookinhiseyesashewalkedcloser IsettledEsteratthefront ofthewagon,behindthehorses,thendrewmydaggerfromthesheatheonmybelt.
BeforeIcouldadvance,shegrabbedmyarm,shakingherhead “Don’t”
“Juststayoutofsight.”Icreptaroundthewagonjustastheslaversteppedupontoitsedge,readytogoinsideit.
Chargingathim,Itookhimbysurpriseandsweptmybladeacrossthebackofoneleg.Ionlymanagedtocuttheleather, butitdefinitelygothisattention Turning,heleereddownatme,buthiseyeswidened,andhegrinned Thatmademystomachlurchintomythroat.I’dneverseenanythingsoevilinmylife. Hejumpeddownandspoke Thewordswereshort,clipped,harshinmyears AlthoughIdidn’tunderstandanyofthem,I knewtheintentunderneath.Hewasmockingme,playingwithme.HelookedatmelikeIwashisnextmeal. Itookupadefensivestance,myarmtotheside,daggertightlygripped,readytostrikeifhedaredtocomeanycloser. Chuckling,hedidtakeasteptowardme.“Youpretty,buttooflat,likeboy.Nogoodforwifeandbaby,”hesaid,inbroken Andlangianbeforetakinganotherstep,hissmirkmakingmefeeluneasyanddirty.“Goodforplaything.”
Isneeredindisgustatthethoughtmakingmenauseous.“Overmydeadbody.” Hemadeagrabforme,butIswiftlyswungmyblade,slicingthetopofhishand.Instinctively,hesnatcheditback,butthen laughed Itwasn’tthereactionI’dhopedfor,instead,heseemedutterlyamusedatthewoundonhishand Afewwordslefthimintheotherlanguage,makinghimsoundentertainedbymyattack,thenhetriedtograbmeagain.This time,he anticipatedmydefense andreachedunder myswing,tograbthe frontofmydress Before he couldtugme forward though,Esterappearedbehindhim,whackingthemanacrosstheheadwithherwoodenstaff andbreakingitinhalffromthe hardblow
The loud crack echoed in the night as the man stumbled forward, falling on one knee. Ester’s attack afforded me an opportunitytogetawayfromhim,soIdashedoutofhisreachandbacktothewagon.Sadly,hewasn’tstunnedforlong,and turnedtorushus hiseyesdark,adeepscowlonhisface
GrabbingEster’sarm,Ipulledherwithmesowecouldrun,butherlegsgottangledandshetwistedherankle,fallingto theground Stoppinginmytracks,Iswiveledtograbher,buttheslaver wastoofast,andItooslow Theglintofhis sword blindedmeasitcamedown,elicitingashrillscreambeforeIcouldevenregisterwhatwashappening.
Thenitsuddenlycutoff
Ididn’twanttolookdown.Ididn’twanttoseewhatIknewtobetrue.Thescentofbloodfilledmynose,sooverpowering thatInearlygagged.Still, mygaze drifted downwards and all Isaw was red. Itstained everything her dress,her face, the groundaroundher However,itwerehereyesthatbrandedanimprintonmybrain Theywerestillopen.Blank.Void.Unseeing.
Myentirebodytrembled,fromfear,fromanger Atthispoint,Icouldn’tdecipherbetweenthetwo Theonlythoughtsthat spunthroughmymindwastohurt,tokillthismanforwhathe’ddone.
Ashrieksoloudthatithurtmyownearsrippedfrommythroat,andIchargedtowardhim.Hopingthatoneofmyswings would sink my blade into his body, I flailed my arms frantically. A crimson haze had shrouded my eyes. Fury, hard and desperate,surgedthroughme.
IwassolostinmyattackthatIdidn’tknowifIhitmymarkatanytime ThenextthingIknew,someonekickedmeinthe gut, whichcatapulted me into one ofthe horses. Mydagger flew out ofmyhand as Ihit its hind leg. The horse reared up, stompingitsfeet
Oneofthemnearlymissedcomingdownonmyhead,butImanagedtorolloutoftheway.Mychestandgutthrobbedfrom theblow,andithurttomove,butIhadtogetupagain.AsIgrabbedtheharnesstopullmyselfup,screamscamefrominside thewagon.
Myheartlurchedintomythroat.He’dgottentothegirls.
Pushing the pain aside, I scrambled out from between the horses When I got close to the wagon, cover bulged from something,or someone,beingpushedagainstit.Moreshouts andscreams came,andIwatchedinhorror as abladeofsome sorttorethroughthecanvas ThecloserIgot,themoreIrecognizedtheshovelspadethatI’dgiventoMargopokingoutofit I’dbeenrightaboutherbeingabletoswingitwithouthesitation.
JustasIwasabouttoclimbup,theflappushedopenandtheslaverjumpedout,knockingmeaside.Hehadoneofthegirls slungoverhisshoulder Shewasobviouslyunconscious,asherheadbouncedagainsthisbackwitheachmove Longdarkhair extendeddowntothebackofhisleg,sendingdreadthroughme.
Irenhungfromhisshoulderlikeaprizeddeerkilledfortheslaughter BeforeIcouldreact,hesprintedacrosstheroadand intothetrees.
Gatheringmybreath, Ichased after him, butInever reached the treeline The bigguard frombefore grabbed myarm I turnedtolookathimtofindbloodsplotchescoveredhistunicandleatherarmor.Behindhim,sprawledoutontheroad,was theotherslaver.
“Whereareyougoing?”
“HetookIren.Weneedtogoafterhim!”Itriedtopullfromhisgrip,buthisfingersdugintomyfleshtighter.
“No,we’regettingbackontheroad”
“Buthetookher.Wehavetosaveher.”
Themanshookhishead “Sorry,girl,butwecan’triskanymoremenforalostcause”
All the fightseepedoutofme as his words sunkintome.Althoughwe were consideredvaluable tothe capital,we still weren’tworththeir guards’lives.All thebloodrushedfrommyheadmakingmedizzy,andIsunktotheground.Adrenaline hadbeencoursingthroughme,fuelingmyfightresponse,butnowithadrunitscourse Now,Ifeltempty
Theguardpickedmeupwithouteffort,carryingmebacktothewagon.WhenIpushedthroughtheflapandwentinside,the othergirlsallstaredatme,wide-eyedwithfearandhorror Margo’shairhadcomeoutofherbraid,andherdresswastorn, butshestillfiercelygrippedtheshovel.
“WherewasIren?”
“WherewasEster?”
“Whyistherebloodonyourclothes?”
“Areyourhurt?”
“Didyoureallythinkyoucouldprotectanyofus?”
Theothergirlsallshoutedquestionsatme,butIignoredthem,sinkingontothebench Ididn’thavereasonableanswersthatwouldbringthemanysolace.
Restingmyheadagainstthesideofthewagon,Ishutmyeyes,hopingthatsleepwouldtakemeunder forafewhoursat least.Ididn’twanttothinkaboutanything,andIespeciallydidn’twanttorememberwhatI’djustseen.MaybeIcouldsleep untilwereachedthecapital Then,andonlythen,wouldIdealwithmyactionsandlettheguilttakehold Rightnow,Iwastooexhaustedtocare.
Onya
After afew morehoursontheroad,thecaravanstoppedtomakecampfor thenightalongthetreesjustoffthemainroad. Whenthe wagonstopped, a guard stuckhis head throughthe torncanvas to instructus to getout One byone, the girls jumpedout,Iwentlast,whichwaspreferabletothem.Sincetheslavers'attack,I’dbecomeapariah.
Onceoutside,theguardsusheredusovertowhereanotherelevengirlsgathered.Glancingateachoftheirfaces,Ifoundthe samelevelofhorrorfromwhathadtranspiredearlierintheireyes Oneofthemlookedinjuredsinceshefavoredherrightarm andhadacutonhercheek.Iftheyhadthesamenumberofgirlsintheirwagonsinitially,Isuspectedoneothergirlwastaken alongwithIren
Seeingherinjuriesmademewonderifshefoughthardtosavehercompanion. Margoandtherestmadeapushtoalignwiththeothers,leavingmeobviouslysingledoutandostracized Evenbeforethe attack,I’dexpectedasmuch.Ididn’tnow,andneverhadbelonged,preferringmyowncompanytoothers’.Honestly,Ifound mostpeopleeitherboringorstupid,andsometimestheywereboth.So,thisdivisiondidn’treallybotherme.
TheDagmarcameoutofhercarriage,accompaniedbytwoyoungwomen,whoweredressedsimilarlytohow Ester had beendressed.Asshestoodinfrontofus,Inoticedthatmoreofhergrayhairhadescapedfromthebraidsunderneathherhead covering Shelookedasdisheveledastherestofus,andforsomereason,thatmademefeelbetter
“Iunderstandthattwogirlsweretaken,”shebegan,eyeingthegroup.“ThegirlfromMoorfellandtheonefromFrostford.” “Iren,”Imuttered
TheDagmar’sheadturnedtolookatme,herscowldeepeningthelinesaroundherthinmouth.“Whatdidyousay?” Iclearedmythroat.“HernameisIren.Notthe girl from Frostford. ”
Thematrondidn’tlikemyoutburstatall Hereyesflashedlikeicydaggers,aimedstraightatmythroat “ThenI’msureyou rememberthenameofthe hendey yougotkilled.ItwasEster,wasitnot?”
Atthementionofhername,mystomachclenched Theimageofherslaughteredbodywasapermanentfixtureinmymind One Iwas sure to keep for the restofmylife. The Dagmar was right; it was myfault she died. Ifshe hadn’t followed my recklessplan,andstayedinthewagonwiththeothers,she’dlikelystillbealive. Despitethat,Istilltriedtodefendmyself.“IthoughtIcouldprotect ” “Andthatiswhereyouwentwrong.Youdonotthink.Youneedtolistenandobey.” “But ”
“Be quiet!” She banged her staff onthe ground, thenstepped toward me. “Your foolishness cost Ester her life, and I’d hazardaguessthatwashowtheslaverwasabletosnatchIrenaswell”
For a moment, I considered justifying my actions, but with the Dagmar’s expression, and the way the other girls were staringatme,itwouldbeinmybestinteresttokeepmymouthshutfromnowon.We’donlybeenonthisroadforsixhoursor so,andI’dalreadymadeanenemyoutofeverysingleperson,whichwasnotgoodconsideringwhereweweregoing.IknewI wasgoingtoneedalliesinthecapitalifIwasgoingtosurvive.
After theDagmar inspectedeveryonetomakesurewewereunharmed,andtendedtothegirl whowas injured,wewere ledintothewoodstothesmallcampandfireprepared.Theguards,fivelessthanwestartedwith,tookuppositionsaroundthe perimeterandbackbytheroadtolookafterthewagons,carriage,andhorses
Weeachfoundaplacetosit,asrationsofbread,jerky,andabowlofboiledpotatoeswerepassedtous.Itwasn’tafancy fair, but it would at least fill our stomachs. Margo and Linncomplained about the food, and I had to hold mytongue from criticizingthemforit Flagonsofwinewerealsopassedtoeveryone Whenitwasmyturntodrink,IgulpeddownasmuchasI could.MaybeIcouldknockmyselfoutforthedurationofthetripandnothavetofacethelooksofdistrustandcondemnation.
After we ate, two guards ushered my group back to the caravan to sleep Once we climbed inside, the other girls all gathered at the far end of the wagon, leaving me with a little roomnear the canvas opening. It was fine, I was expecting hostilities Leaningmybackagainstthewall,Isatdownandpulledupmykneestomychest,restingmyheadontopofthem I’dsleptinmorecrampedspacesthanthisoneinthepast.
ExceptwhenIclosedmyeyes,sleepdidn’tcome.Insteadofthewinerelaxingmeandmakingmesleepy,itmademyguts churn, leaving a bad taste in my mouth I desperately needed to walk the feeling off, so once I was sure the others were sleeping,Iquietlyslippedoutthroughthecanvas flapandjumpedontotheground makingsurenoguards werelookingmy way
Thevoicesoftwoguardsapproachingroseintheair,soIcrouchedlowandtuckedmyselfnexttothewheelofthewagon, hidingintheshadows
“Amessage came fromthe royal battalionto Herr Torin,” the skinnier mansaid to his companion. “Itmustbe aboutthe Drecki.”
“Maybetheyfinallyfoundtheirencampment,”theotherguessed
Theywalkedbywithoutaglancemyway,andoncetheydisappearedpasttheWhiteCarriage,Isteppedoutontotheroad tofollowthem Myinterestwasdefinitelypiqued I’dreadaboutthedragoncultists,buttherehadn’tbeenalotofdetail,since theywereverysecretiveandhadbeenaroundforhundredsofyearssearchingforthelastdragonandnotbeencaught.Itbaffled methatthesepeoplebelievedthatdragonsstillexistedinAndlang,soIhadtoknowmoreaboutthemandwhatdrovethemto suchfantasies.
Quietly,andcautiously,Imademywaydowntheroad,keepingtotheshadowstomakemyselfassmallaspossiblenotto drawattention Iwasgoodatsneakingaround,haddoneitmoretimesthanIcouldcountbackhome EveryfewstepsIstopped andhidasmoreguardswalkedbyortookuppositionsalongtheroad,butIwaslightonmyfeetandmadelittletonosound whenImoved
AftergettingpasttheWhiteCarriageandanotherwagonfullofgirls,Ispottedthosetwoguardscrossintothewoodsonthe right. Itwas pitchblackamongstthe trees, whichmeantIhad to be extra careful withmysteps notto putmyfootdownon rottingbranches,ortotriponsnarledbramblesandtelegraphmypresence.
Somethingtold me these menwould attackfirst, without evenidentifyingwho I was, and I reallydidn’t want to get an arrowthroughtheneckforbeingcurious
Ispottedabeaconoflightupahead,mostlikelyasmallfirefortheguardstowarmthemselves,andwalkedtowardit.The closerIgot,themoremyheartthunderedinmychest ItwassoloudinmyearsIwassuretheycouldhearit WhenIreached theedgeofthesmallclearingintheforest,Istopped,knowingifIwentanyfartherIwoulddefinitelybespotted.
Crouchingdownbehindthetrunksoftwothickaspentreesthatwerestucktogetherliketwins,Ilistenedtothechatterofthe guardsstandingaroundthefireandwarmingtheirhands
“Theydefinitelyfoundwherethebastardswerehiding,”oneofthemenassured.
Anothershookhishead “Ican’tbelieveit They’vebeenlookingforthemforyears” “Was he withthem?DidtheyfinallycaptureDretheDread?”Ayoungermanasked,hiseyeswide.
Thefirstonewhohadspokennodded “That’swhatIheardthecommandersay” “Wow.Iwonderhowmanyhekilledbeforetheycouldgetchainsonhim.”
Scowling, the first guard threw a chiding look at him. “Watch your tone, boy. It almost sounds like you admire the butcherouscriminal”
Theyoungoneshookhisheadvehemently.“Ofcoursenot.He’straitorousscum,whohasbroughtnothingbutbrutalityand miserytothepeopleofAndlang Ican’twaituntiltheyhanghimfromthegallowsforhiscrimes” Italmostsoundedlikehewasprotestingtoomuch,andI’dheardthereverenceinhisvoicebeforetoo.Anotherguard,abig manwithafullblackbeard,marchedintothecampthen,andstartedbarkingordersattheothermen Ifiguredthatwasmycue toleaveandcreepbacktothewagontotrytosleep.Althoughnow,allIcouldthinkaboutwaswhowasthis Dre the Dread?
Iwasjustabouttoturnaround,whenabighandcamedownonmyshoulder,startlingme.Mymouthclampeddowntostop ayelpfromescaping,andasIlookedovermyshoulder,Ifoundagiantofamanwiththickdarkeyebrowsoverdarkeyes,and athickpuckeredscarthatcutdownhisleftcheek.
“Whatareyoudoinghere,girl?”Hisvoicewaslowandgruff
“I,ah,”Istuttered,mymouthgoingdry.
Grippingthebackofmyneck,heforcedmetowalkbacktotheroad.“You’reluckyIfoundyouandnotoneoftheother disagreeablemen.Alotofthesemenhavebeenontheroadalongtime,andapretty,youngwomanalonemightbetoomuchof atemptation.”
Whathe suggested senta shiver ofdread downmyspine. Bile rose into mythroatand Ihadto swallow itdownor risk gagging. Surely, the young wards of Brull House were off limits to scoundrels, but I supposed one more girl lost to dishonorablemenwouldn’thavebeenabigdeal Ihadsnuckoutonmyown,withoutanyoneknowing,sotheymightseemeas fairgame.
Whenwereachedtheroad,IthoughthewasgoingtoaskmewhichwagonIwasridingin,butheimmediatelymarchedme tothebackofthecaravan.Obviously,heknewwhoIwas.
Heshovedmeforward “Getbackinthewagonandstaythere You’reabignuisanceandyou’regoingtogetyourselfhurt Ican’tdomyjobwhenyou’rerunningaroundcarelessly.”
“I’mnotweak.I’mnotsomeuselessgirl.”Ihatedthatmyvoicecrackedwithemotion. “Ineversaidyouwereeitherofthosethings”
Hisresponsesurprisedme,andIwasn’tsurehowtoreact,soIjustglaredathim.
Hegesturedtothewagon “Goinsideandgetsomesleep We’llbebreakingcampinafewhours” Iturnedtoclimbuplikehewanted.
“Hey”Hisvoicecalledmygazeback,andIsawhimreachunderhisleatherarmorandtunictopulloutaknife Myknife Thenhandedittome.“Youdroppedthisearlier.I’msureyouwantitback.”
Swallowingdownmyshock,Itookit,butIdidn’tgettoanswerhim.Heswiveledonhisbootheelandmarchedaway,each stridelongandheavy Iwatchedhimuntilhedisappearedfromview,andfinallywentbackinsidethewagon Isettleddownonthe floor where I’dsatbefore,staringatdagger he’dreturnedtome.Itwirleditaroundinmyfingers, noticingthatithadbeencleaned Therewasnobloodfromtheslavertaintingtheblade
Honestly, Ididn’tknow whyhe gave itbackto me, couldn’tevenfathomhis reasons. Regardless, Iwas thankful for his kindness.Islidthedaggerbackintoitssheathonmybeltandrestedmyheadontothewagonwall.Ididn’tbothertoclosemy eyes,asIknewIwasbeyondthetemptationofsleep.Thereweretoomanythoughtsspinningaroundinmyhead,andIwastoo anxiousaboutwhatIwouldbefacinginthecapital.
Onya
After another long, boringdayoftravel, the caravanreached Jarlstad, the capital cityofAndlang, and home ofthe Great FortressofKings Becauseourwagonwascovered,wecouldn’tseethetallwoodengateasweapproached,butweheard amournfulhornsoundannouncingourarrival.
Anxious to see whatwe were gettinginto, Iwentto the frontofthe wagonand pushed openthe canvas flap.Iopened it wideenoughforallthegirlstosticktheirheadsoutandwatchasthewagonrolledthroughthelargeopengate,andintothecity proper.
Liningthe streets were the mostpeople I’d ever seeninone place Some manned carts, sellingfish, rootvegetables, or leather works like chestarmor and wristbracers while others milled aboutto buy. More people bustled alongthe road, crossinginfrontofandbehindthecaravanastheywentintovariouswoodenandstonebuildings Signshungoverthedoors, identifyingtaverns,tailors,andshoemakers.
Thestreetseemedtogoonforever,asdidthelineofwoodenbuildingsoneitherside.Otherroadsbranchedofftotheleft andrightwithevenmorebuildingsandhouses Somepeoplestoppedtostareatthewagonsastheyrolledby,andIwondered iftheyknew whorodeinsidethem.Surely,theymust’verecognizedtheWhiteCarriageanditswhitedappledhorses.Maybe theydidn’tknow,onlystoppingoutofcuriosity,ortheydidn’tcareandwerejustconcernedwiththingsgoingonintheirown lives,putoffbythelongcaravandisruptingtheirday.
I, however, was mesmerized byit all since I'd never beenoutside of myvillage of Freyhaven The sheer scope of the architecturealonewasoverwhelming.All thestructuresinmyvillagewereonelevel,here,therewerebuildingsthatroseat leastthreestorieshigh.Onewepassedby,hadseveralwomenandmenhangingoutofwindows,orstandingonbalconiesin varyinglevelsoffrivolityandundress
Besideme,Minagiggledasoneyoungmanwavedatus.Shewasgoingtoreturnthegreeting,butDagnygrabbedherhand tostopher
“Don’t,”shewarned.“Youcan’twelcomeadvancesofmenwhoarenotofnoblebirth.”
“Iwasn’t.”
“Iheardthatjustsmilingatamancanbringpunishment.”
Mina’ssmileinstantlyfaded.
Ididn’tsayanythingtocoddleher,asIsuspectedtherewasgoingtobemanythingsbeyondourcontrolthatweweregoing tobepunishedforifcaught.Allthegirlsneededtolearnthatasfastaspossible.Myselfincluded.
Aswecontinueddownthemainstreet,itsoonopenedintoamainpublicsquare IfIthoughttheotherstreetswerecrowded withpeople before,thenIwasn’tpreparedfor the louddinofhundreds all gatheredinthe center ofthe city.Here,the main marketplacethrivedwithahundredstallsateverycorner vendorsyellingandfightingforcustomers.Thenoiseremindedme ofthegruntsandsquealsthepigsmadewhenItriedtowranglethemintoanewpen.
There were also street performers dancing, singing, and playing varying instruments. One man juggled knives, while another stoodonstilts,chasingafter screamingchildren I’dnever seensuchaspectacle,notevenwhenthetravelingtheatre cametoourvillageeveryspringtocelebratetheequinox.
“It’sallsoBIG”AbitofreverenceengulfedLinn'ssoftvoice
Shewasrightthough.EverythingaboutJarlstadwasbigandgrand.Allencapsulatedbythemonumentmadeofwhatlooked likeblackiceinthecenterofthecitysquare.Ithadtohavebeentwelvefeettall,andaswideasthewagon.
Marvelingatitaswerolledby,Itriedtomakesenseofitsshape Italmostlookedlikeithadbeensomethingelsebeforeit ended up inits currentform. Icould make outa snake-like bodyand neck, and ontop ofthatshould’ve beena head, butit seemedmeltedandmoldedintoadifferentshape Itmademeextremelycuriousaboutwhatthestatuerepresentedbeforeitwas altered.
Afterthecaravanpassedthroughthepublicsquare,itstoppedinfrontofalargewoodandstonestructureatopasetoffive stonestepswithhugearcheddoors thewoodetchedwithsacredrunesandscenesdepictingtheGods.Thedoorsopenedand fourfiguresemerged,twomaleandtwofemale,theirheadswrappedwithbluescarfs afewthinbraidspeekingoutofit.
Theywere all similarlydressed inskyblue robes thatalmostcovered their bare feet Their faces were powered white, withablackstreakacrosstheireyeslikeamask,andathinlineofblackfromtheirbottomlipstotheirchins.Drawnontheir foreheadswerethreerunes,representingthethreemainGods
“I’veneverseenShamansbefore.”Mina’seyesgrewwide.
“NeitherhaveI,”Linnadmitted
“Ihave.”Margoscoffed.“WehaveaShamaninourtown.”
Ididn’tbothertellingthemaboutMadShivfrommyvillage.
OneoftheguardsopenedthedooroftheWhiteCarriage,helpingtheDagmardownsoshecouldmeetwiththeShamansat the bottomofthe temple steps.She inclinedher headtoeachofthem,before theysplitupandone ofthemapproachedeach wagon
AsthetallfemaleShamantookapositionnearthewagon,Icouldfeelherintensegazeonme.Realistically,sheprobably wasn’tjuststaringatmesinceIwasn’ttheonlyonehangingoutofthewagon,butitdefinitelyfeltlikeit.
She raised her hand, whichwas also painted black, and drew the rune ofBerkana inthe air, a line withtwo sideways triangles, and a shortline under it. Itwas one ofthe symbols thatrepresented Freya, a blessingofvitalityand fertility. The othergirlsrantwofingersfromtheirbottomlipdowntotheirchin,whichwasthecustomarygesturetoacceptablessingfrom anelder.
Ihesitatedtomake the gesture,as Ididn’twanttobe blessed withfertility, causingthe Shaman’s brow to furrow as she most definitelywas lookingat me. Althoughit was considered anact of defiance to do so, I met her gaze, unable to stop myself.Iwascaptivatedbyher.
AsIcontinuedtostareather,Inoticedthatherhand,whichwasdownbyherleg,suddenlymoved.Sheliftedtwofingers andmadealightningboltshapeintheair,thenmadeafistandknockeditonceagainstherthigh.Hermovementwassmalland quick,indiscernibletosomeonenotstudyingherlikeIhadbeen Thesymbolshe’dmadewasunknowntome,butIsuspectedit wassomethingmeantjustforme.
Ifinallymadethedrawinggesturefromliptochin,whichseemedtoappeasetheShaman,becauseshequicklyturnedand walked back to the steps where the others waited for her. Once they reunited, they slowly climbed the stone steps and disappearedbackinsidethetemple,thedoorsshuttingbehindthemwitharesoundingbang.
TheDagmarreturnedtothecarriage,andthenthecaravangotgoingagain
Feelingunsettledandabitqueasy,Ipulledbackfromtheopenflapandsatdownonthebench.Ididn’tknowwhythebrief encounter withthe Shamanrattled me, but Icouldn’t denythe feelings ofbothdread and anticipationinmygut Maybe I’d offendedthewomanandthelastsigilshewroteintheairhadbeenacurseinsteadofablessing.Whateveritwas,becauseI hadmadethegestureonmychin,Ihadaccepteditintomylife
Itwasn’tlongbeforethewagonstoppedagain,butthistime,weweretoldtogetout.After everyonegrabbedtheir bags, onebyone,theothergirlsjumpeddown,thoughIwaitedtogolast.Whenitwasmyturn,Inearlyfelldown,despitetheguard whograbbedmyarmforsupport Itwasn’tthemotionofjumpingthathadmewobbly,itwasthesightoftheGreatFortressof Kingsthatknockedmeoffbalance.
ThefortresssatatopabluffthatoverlookedtheharborandtheGreatSea Atleasttwentysteepsteps,builtintothecliff, leduptotheking’shouse.Royalguardsstoodatthereadyoneveryotherstep,andoneachsideoftheloftyentrance.TheAframestructurewasthreestorieshigh,andsovastthatIcouldn’tseetheendofit,includingthetwootherwingsthatjuttedout fromeachside.IassumedoneofthosewingsbelongedtoBrull House,wherewewouldeat,sleep,andtraintobeobedient companions.
Oncethe Dagmar linedall ofus up,she ledthe waytothe GreatFortress ofKings,whichwouldbe our new home For someofthegirlsitwouldbeasteppingstonetoprosperousunionswithnoblefamilies,forothers,itwouldbetheplacewhere theylivedtherestoftheirdays servingthosenoblefamilies
Togettothestairswehadtowalkunderanimposingten-personwidearchway,madeupofsheephorns.AsIwentunder it,mygazemarvelledoverthestructure;therehadtobeoverathousandhornsalllockedtogetherasifinbattle.Forsome,it wasprobablyasignofgreatness,strength,andreverence.Forme,itwasgrotesque,givingmethecreepsuntilthehairsonthe backofmynecklifted.
As the line of sixteengirls climbed the stairs, I purposelykept last, noticingeachguard hold their gaze straight ahead, offeringaquick,sharpbowoftheirheadaswepassed.Except,IdidcatchonereedyguarddoadoubletakeonMargowhen shewalkedbyhim
Reachinghim,Igavehimaslylookthatcaughthimbysurprise.“Betterwatchyoureyesthere,boy.IfIsaw you,sureas shitsomeoneelsecould’veseenyoutoo”
His cheeks flushed, seeming stunned, and probably considering how to respond or even if he should. I needed to start makingalliesinthecapital,andaroyal guardseemedlikeagoodfirstoption Itwasthosewhoserved,seeminglyinvisible andmute,whoknewthemostaboutaplaceandasituation.
“Nottoworry.I’llkeepthatinformationtomyself.”Iwinkedathim,watchinghiseyeswiden,andIthoughtforsurehewas goingtofaint
Satisfied, I added a little jump in my step as I kept climbing, but soon I felt a presence behind me. Looking over my shoulder,Isawtheguardwhofoundmeinthewoodsandgavemydaggerbacktomeapproaching Eachguardhewalkedpast boweddeeplytohim.
“Don’tbestupid”
“Notsurewhatyoumean, Herr.”Ifeignedinnocencebutmadesuretousehonorifics,sinceIwasenteringtheplacethat thosetypesofthingsmattered.
Leaningin,hespokequietlytome “Learnwhoyoucantrustandwhoyoucan’t Therearenofriendshere” Hethenbrushedpastme,marchingupthestairs,andpassingall thegirlsalongtheway,aswell astheDagmar.Thetwo guardsatthedoorsimmediatelyopenedthemforhim,andhedisappearedinsidethecastle Ididn’tknowwhattomakeofthatencounter.MaybewhileIwastryingtofigureouthowtomakealliesinthecapital,I’d alreadymadeone.
Onya
WhenIfinallyreached the top ofthe stairs, everyone was gathered there, waiting. Boththe Dagmar and Margo gave me angrylooks,asifI’dbeentheonetomakethestairssosteepandplentiful Iignoredthembothandgotinlinebehindthe other girls most chatted excitedly about the prospects of finding rich husbands and living comfortable lives. Although a couplewholookedashorrifiedasIfelt.Imemorizedtheirfaces,hopingtomakefriendslater.
“There are no friends here ”
Theoldsoldier’svoiceechoedinmyhead,soIthoughtitwouldbeprudentformetopayattentiontohiswords.Hewas givingmeawarning,thoughwhyhehadwasawholeotherquestion
Oncewewerealtogether,theDagmarledusforwardtothedoorsofthefortress.Thetwoguardsstationedoneitherside gaveaquickbowtotheoldmatron,thenwelcomedusinsidetoo
Icouldn’tstopmyselffromgapinginawewhenIcrossedthethresholdandsteppedintotheGreatHalloftheKings,which wasthefirstthingthatgreetedus uponentering.Its vaultedceilingandcurved,woodenbeamsoverheadgavetheillusionof walkingintoatempleofworship Theroomwaslong,notwide,andatthefarendtherewerefourstepsleadinguptoadais wheretwothronesmadeofthesameblackglassthatI’dseeninthecitysquare.
Iimaginedthekingandqueensittingthere,andallthenoblemengatheringintheroombeforethemtomaketheirofferings offealtytothecrown.
“Thisevening,afteryouareallproperlywashedanddressed,youwillcomeintothisroomtobepresentedtothenobility ofJarlstad.Isuspectsomeofyouwillgarnerinterestimmediately.”
Hergazedriftedovertome,yetitbecamehardandcold.
“Whileotherswillfinditdifficulttopiqueanyone’sinterestuponfirstglance Thisiswhythetrainingyouwillbegoing throughisvitaltoyourchancesoffindingafittingmatch.Youwilllearnhowtobeaproperlady.Ifyoufailtoreceiveoffersof tyinghands,thenyouwillbeassignedaroletoserveBrullHouse”
Thatdidn’tsoundalltoohorribletome.UntilIthoughtofEsteragainandmythoughtsbecamedark.Itriedtoshakethem off,butjustbeinginthissituation,forcedtobesomeobedientbroodmarekeptthosedarknotionsfrontandcenter.
The Dagmar thengestured to her left, and to the archwayleadingto the separate wing. “Now Iwill show youto Brull House,whereyouwillspendthemajorityofyourtime.Therestofthefortresswillbeofflimitstoyou,unlessaccompaniedby meoranotherrepresentativeofthehouse”Again,hergazenarrowedontome “Anytrespassingorrulebreakingwillresultin harshpunishment.”
“Atleastherenoonewillgetkillediftherulesarebroken,”Margoscoffedtotheothergirlsaroundher Whenshe looked atme to make her point, Ismiled openlyand broadly, almostmaniacally. “Don’tbe so sure ofthat,” I mutteredmostlytomyself,butIknewshegotthegistofwhatI’dsaid.
Ithadthedesiredeffectassheshudderedandquicklylookedaway.Unfortunately,therewardofheruneaseanddiscomfort quickly faded, the image of Ester’s bloody body returning to my mind. I pushed that aside and tried to focus on the surroundings,eagerlythinkingofwaysIcouldescapeorhide
BrullHousewasjustasgrandandlavishasthemainhallofthefortress.Dark,rich-coloredwoodadornedtheplace,with largepillarsandtwistingbeamsalongtheceiling,andstonefloorspolishedtoashine Ialmostfeltbadaboutsteppingonit
andmakingmarkswithmydustyboots.
TheDagmarshowedusthedininghallwherewewouldtakeourmeals,itwasstarkandbare,gray,notlikethemainarea we’d entered Beyond the stone wall, the smell of boiled meat and potatoes wafted fromthe kitchen, making my stomach immediatelystarttorumble.ThelastsubstantialmealI’dhadwastheoneinthemorningbeforetheWhiteCarriagearrivedto disruptmylife
Thenshe led us up a setofwinding, woodenstairs to the second level, where the sleepingquarters and commonrooms were located Each dormroomhad six single beds and a separate small roomthat contained a wash basin, a mirror for morningcleanings,andseparatefromthat,aprivy.I’dneverbeeninaplacethathadindoorfacilities.
“Eachroomwillbeoccupiedbythegirlsfromthewagonsyouarrivedin.”
Great Isighedtomyself I’dbeenhopingtogetawayfromMargoandhermerrybandofangrygirls Although,Isupposed, I’dgiventhemallkindsofreasonsforthat,failingtofosteranygoodwillduringthattwo-daytrip.AllImanagedtodowasto aidinIren’skidnappingandgetEsterkilled
After everyone claimed a bed intheir respective rooms withme takingthe one furthest fromanyone else, next to the windowandthecooldraftthatflutteredfromit weallgatheredinthedininghall,toeatapropermealbeforewehadtobe scrubbeddownanddressedappropriatelyfortheauctionblock.Atleast,that’swhatIconsideredit.
Themealwashearty,whichIwasthankfulfor,butmystomachstartedtochurnatthethoughtofwhatwastocome.When wearrivedbacktotheroom,therewerefiveyoungwomenwaitingforus,dressedjustlikeEsterhadbeen AttheDagmar’s nod,eachgirlapproachedoneofus.Theyoungwomanwhocameuptomelimpedslightly,shealsohadgoldenskin,likeshe’d beensun-kissed,andgolden-browneyes Afewwispsofshortbrownhairwerevisibleunderherwhiteheadscarf
Shegavemealittlebow.“WelcometoBrullHouse,OnyaStavig,I’mSigrunn,your hendey. ”
“Nicetomeetyou,butIdon’tknowwhatthatmeansexactly.”
“ItmeansIwillbeyourpersonalattendant.Iwillhelpyoubathe,anddress,andIwillaccompanyyouonanyoutinginthe fortressortothecity.”Withhereyesdowncast,sherecitedthewordswithnoemotioninhervoice.
“Nooffense,butIcanbatheanddressmyself I’mperfectlycapableof ” Her handmovedquicker thanIexpectedfromsucha frail lookinggirl.She encircledmywristanddiscreetlytuggedme forward,sowewereeyetoeye Hergazewasfierce “Itismyjobtoserveyou Don’tinterferewiththat”
“Ah,okay,Iwon’t.”
Her demeanor quicklychangedbacktothemeek,docilegirl she’dinitiallycameacrossas,whichwasinteresting.Iwas goingtohavetowatchmyselfaroundher.Theoldguardtoldmeto trust no one,andIwasgoingtotakehiswarningtoheart, butIcouldn’tdenythatsheintriguedme.IwonderedwhatkindofinformationaboutthenoblemenandroyaltyIcouldextract fromher
Ididn’thave longto ponder before the hendeys ushered us outofthe room, and downa corridor to the communal bath house Thereweresixtubs,all filledwithsteaminghotwater TheDagmar pacedaroundthelineoftubs,lookingatusfrom headtotoe.
“Makesuretheyarethoroughlyscrubbedandcheckthehairforanylice.Someofthesegirlscomefrompoorfamiliesin poorvillages”Stoppingnearme,shepokedmeinthegutwithherstaff “Reallyscrubthisone Isuspectshe’sdirtierthanthe others.”
BeforeIcouldformaresponsetoherbitingremark,Sigrunnstartedpullingatmydress
Flustered,Isteppedback.“Icandoitmyself.”
Aroundme,theothergirlsweredealingwiththesamemeasureofbeingdisrobed Ireallydidn’twanttobenakedaround thesestrangers,butitlookedlikeIdidn’thaveachoiceasSigrunngrabbedmeagain,androughlytuggedatmydress.Witha few skilled moves, I was unclothed and shivering, one hand trying to cover my breasts while the other tried to hide my genitalia
Sigrunnpointedtothewoodentub.“Getin.”
TheDagmarstaredatmeuntilIdidwhatIwastoldandsteppedintothetub
Getting in, I violently sunk down into the hot water, pleased with the overfull spilling onto the floor and wetting the Dagmar’sfeetandbottomhemofhersheath Ibitdownonmyliptostopfromgrinning
Honestly,Iwasexpectinghertosmackmewithherstaffagain,Iwaspreparedforit,butinsteadshewackedSigrunninthe backofherleg.Shegrimaced,pressingherlipstogether,butdidn’tmakeasound.
“Makesureyoukeepthisoneonatightleash”
TheDagmarwalkedontothenexttubandgirl.
“I’msorry,”IsaidtoSigrunn,“Areyouallright?”
Insteadofanswering,shetookacomboutofthepocketofherdress,undidmyhairintheback,andstartedtoyankonit, runningthecombthroughitroughly.Shewasnotgentleatall,andIwasstartledbyhowmuchhairwasfalling.
Oninstinct,Itriedtomove away,butrealizedthatwouldjustmake itworse.Iclenchedmyjaw andbareditas Sigrunn untangledmyhair,scrapingmyscalpwiththecombwitheverystroke.Whenshefinishedthat,sheputherhandontopofmy
