SCOTTIE
“S
cottie!”
Icringed atJay’s yell. Havingcome froma familywho wouldn’tshout, evenifthe house were onfire, Ihad to get usedtomyboisterousfriend.Afteroveradecadeoffriendship,Istillwincedwhenhemadesuddenloudnoises like bellowingmynameovertheringingdoorbell
Thedoortomybedroomwasflungopen,andJayslidacrossthefloor,courtesyofthemulticoloreddiamondprintsockshe hadon Ipickedmyglassesupfromthedresserandslippedthemupmynose Hewasonlywearingunderwearandhisshirt, andtryingwithbig,clumsyfingerstogetthebuttonsintotheholes.
“Someone’satthedoor,”hesaid.“Canyougetit?Don’twanttoscarethehelloutofthatJehovah’sWitnessladylikelast time”
Mylipstwitchedintoagrin.Jaywastheonewhomadethingsinteresting.Hespicedupmystaidandordinarylifewithhis antics Ifonlyithadpannedoutwhenwe’dflirtedandfooledaroundwhenwe were younger We didn’tfeel thatwayabout eachother,though,whichwasjustaswell.IneededatruefriendmorethanIneededanotherlying,cheating,abusivescumbag ofaboyfriend
ThankgodforJay,who’dhelpedmeoutofadiresituationwhenheinsistedImoveinwithhimayearago.Sinceadistant relativefromhismother’ssidehadwilledthehousetohim,allIhadtodowashelpwiththeutilities.
“Don’tworry I’llgetit”Igrabbedmybrandnewnavybluepeacoatandcarkeys “Andyouneedtohurry,oryou’regoing tobelateforyourfirstdayonthejob.Youreallyshouldworkonyourtardiness,youknow.”
“Stopnagging,Mom NowyouseewhyIhadtoquitmedicalschool I’dbelategettingtothepatientontheoperatingtable” Iwalkedoutofthebedroom.“Thensimplydon’tbelate.”
“You’dthinkit’sthateasy,wouldn’tyou?”
“Itis thateasy.”Itroddownthestairs.“Stopstayinguplateplayingvideogames,andwakeuphalfanhourearlier.”
“I’lltrytomorrow.”
No,hewouldn’t We’dhadthisconversationbefore Thedoorbellrangagain,longerthistime,likethepersonontheothersidewasleaningintoit.Asifthatweren’tenough,they poundedonthedooraswell Whatwaswrongwithpeople?Couldn’ttheywaitforsomeonetoanswerthedoor?
Ishrugged,unlockedthedoor,andopenedit.
“Whocouldbesoimpoliteasto ”Iswallowedtherestofmychastisementatthesightofthemanstandingonthedoorstep. Andwhataman.
Icameinatjustfivefeettwo,andmostpeopletoweredoverme,butthismanmusthavebeenoversixfeet.Ibarelycameup tohischest ArippedchestthathiswhiteT-shirtcouldn’thide Thesweatspotsonthefrontandunderthearmpitscausedthe materialtosticktodelicious-lookingabsIwantedtopoke.
Dang,butwhowashe?Adeliveryman?BecauseIwouldhavetoensureIgetadeliveryeverydayoftheweekiftheywere sendingguys liketheseoutnow.All Iusuallygotwereashyknees andskinnylegs.This man’s thighs coveredintightdenim couldsqueezethelifeoutofme.
Whydidthatsoundsohot?
“What’sthat?”hegrowled,hisvoicegravellyandhard. Sincewhendidmyfairygodmothergiveacrapaboutmydreamman? “Umm,what’swhat?”
“Youweresayingsomethingaboutimpolite”
Intenseblueeyesthatlookedfamiliar,eventhoughI’dnevermethimbefore,staredintomine.Icouldn’tlookaway.Hishair seemedfreshlycut,andhehadaneatlytrimmedmustacheandbeard.Thesliver ofsilver thatthreadedthroughthedarkhair mademeholdontothedoortightly
Ohcrap,ifgrayhaircouldturnmeonlikethis,IneededaTinderhookupASAP.Thiswasembarrassing. “Umm,justthatit’simpolitetobeatonsomeone’sdoorandringtheirdoorbelllikethat.”
“Sorry Justcheckingsomeonewasactuallyhome Ishouldhavecalledfirst,but ” “Scottie,whoisit?”Jayyelleddownthestairs.
“I’mstillchecking!”
“Scottie?” The man widened his eyes and swept his gaze slowly up and down my frame and back up again. “Scottie McHottie?”
ScottieMcHottie.
ScottieMcHottie.
ScottieMcHottie
Heatsearedmyface.Nearlyflayedmerightdowntothebone.
Oh
My.
God
Onlyonepersonknewmebythatstupidname.TheonepersonIwascertainIwouldnevermeetface-to-facesohewouldn’t see Iwas more ofa Scottie McNottie.As inthe guynoone wouldever wanttodate because he wasn’treal.The fun,sexy, worldlycoolguyI’dpretendedtobealltheseyearsinmyletterstohimdidn’texist “Gr-Griff?” Imumbled his name withstifflips. He couldn’tbe GriffinBurke. ThatGriffwas behind bars, servinglife in prison
“Fuckmesideways.Itis you.”Hestaredatme,lookingasshockedasIfelt.“You’re my Scottie?”
My Scottie
Myjaw wentslack,andImighthaveejaculatedalittleinmybriefs.Noonehadevercalledmetheiranythingbefore,and whenthissexymanuttereditsocasually,Iwasprimeandloadedtogooffatanytime.
“I-I-Idon’tunderstand”Mytonguekeptstickingtotheroofofmymouth,makingitdifficulttogetthewordsout “You’rein prison.Youcan’tbehereonmydoorstep.”
IfI’dknownhewouldonedayshow up,Iwouldnever haverepliedtohis letter toJay Iwouldnever havekeptintouch withhimall these years, and Icertainlywould never have fed himthose lies, whichhad somehow filtered into myletters. They’dstartedasmekeepinghimuptodateaboutJayandhadgraduallyevolvedtometalkingaboutmyself.
“Iwonmyappeal,”hereplied.“Ididn’tsayanythingbecauseIwasn’tsureifmysentencewouldstickandthenIwanteditto bea…surprise.”
Hehadcertainlysucceeded Icouldn’tbeanymoresurprisedhadmymotherbeenstandinginfrontofme Andshe’dbeen deadfortwoyears.
“I-you ”
“Scottie,I’malmostfinished!”Jayyelled.“Don’tyoudareleavewithoutme.Mycar’sstillatthegarage.” Griff’seyesshiftedtowardthestaircasebehindme.Hisjawtickedandhisnosetwitched.Heseemednervous. “Isthathim?”heasked “Isthatmyson?” Inodded.“Yes,buthecan’tknowyou’rehere.”
“Whynot?”
Footstepsclatteredupstairs.Ohgod,Jaycouldn’tseehim.IgrabbedafistfulofGriff’sshirtandtriedtoturnhimaround,but hewaswaytoobigformetomovehimevenaninch Hefrowned,andasthefootstepsstarteddownthestairs,Itrembled “Please.IfJayfindsoutyou’rehere,he’llneverforgiveme.” “I’mhis ”
“We’llfiguresomethingout,butfornow,pleasegetintothecloset” Ireleasedhisshirt,steppedback,andyankedopenthedoortothecoatcloset. Griffraisedhiseyebrows “Youexpectmetofitinthere?”
“Youdon’thaveachoice.”Ipushedmyglassesbackupmynose.“Ifyouwanttohaveanyformofrelationshipwithyour son,thenyou’llfit”
He cursed under his breathand moved toward the closet. “Onlybecause Itrust you, Scottie.” He glared at me. “Despite everything.”
Despiteallmylies ThephotographI’dsenthim Chestnutcurls,browneyes,andapersonalitythatshoneevenfromatwodimensionalshotwastheoppositeofwhoIwasinperson.Pale,freckled,blond,andblue-eyed.Ihadthefaceofacherub,or sopeoplesaid Afacethatlookedwaytooinnocentandinexperienced He shuffled into the closet, and he hadn’t been kidding. He barely fit, and when I shoved the door shut, he grunted and cursed.
“Shh.”
Whydidthishavetohappentome?I’ddoneagoodthingkeepingafatherabreastofwhatwasgoingoninhisson’slife.
I have only one rule in this friendship, Scott. Don’t mention my father. Ever. I’ddonemore.I’dviolatedJay’sprivacybypullingoutaletterhe’ddiscardedintothetrashcan.Ihadn’tmeanttodeceive himallthistime Thewayhe’dgetmoodyaftereachletterhadmademefeelbadforhim HowcouldImakehimfeelbetterifI didn’tknow whatwas wrong? So I’d snooped, and whenI’d read the heartfeltletter his father had senthim, the words had touchedme,leadingmetomakethestupidestdecisionever
I’dwrittenbacktohisfather.Andhadkeptwritingtohimforsevenyears.
“Look,I’malldapper”Jayjumpeddownthelasttwostepsandheldhisarmswide “AmIgoodlookingorwhat?” Irolledmyeyes.“Youdon’tneedmetofeedyourego.Yougetenoughofthatalready.”
“Ah,don’tbejealous.Youknowyou’rethemostimportantpersoninmylife.”Jaycrushedmetohischestinahug.Damn,he wasalmostasbigashisfather
“Whydon’tyouwarmthecarupandtakeitoutofthegarage?”Ijangledmykeyathim.“I’lldouble-checkwe’velockedup properly,thenmeetyouinthedriveway”
“Noprob.”Hetookthekeyfromme.“Bytheway,whowasthatatthedoor?”
“Uh,somerandomkidsellingcookies”
“And you didn’t get me any? Damn, Scottie, that’s cold.” He chuckled and walked away. I collapsed against the wall, removedmyglasses,andswipedthesweatoffmybrow.
Thathadbeenwaytooclose
Theclosetdooropened,andGriffstumbledout,ascowlonhisface.
“Whyareyoulettinghimleave?Ineedtotalktohim”
“Buthe’snotreadytotalktoyouyet.”
“Howdoyouknowthat?”
“Because Iknow himbetter thananyone else inthis world.We’ve beentogether for a longtime,okay? Trustme,he’s not readytofaceyouyet.”
Hewavedahandupanddown “You’veliedtome HowdoIknowanythingyou’vesaidoverthelasttenyearsistrue?”
“I-I’msorry.”Ishuffledmyfeet.“Ididn’tthinkyou’dgetoutofprison.”
Iswallowed hard Anex-convictwas standinginmyhall Anex-convictwho had takensomeone’s life To notcloud my judgmentabouthim,Ihadn’tlookedupwhohe’dkilledandwhathadledtohimcommittingsuchacrime,butnowmystomach churned.Writingtohiminprisonhadbeensafe.Wehadwalls,streets,townsseparatingus,butherehewas,standingbefore me,amanwhohadsnuffedoutalife.
Hecouldsnuffmeoutrightthereifhewantedto.
Itookastepback,confused,afraid,andsomehowexcitedallinone
What’s wrong with me? This man ’ s dangerous. Whatifhe’descapedfromprison?
“Didyouescapefromprison?”Assoonasthewordswereout,Iregrettedthem.Hewouldn’thaveadmitteditifhehad,and nowheknewthatIdidn’ttrusthim.
“ItoldyouIgotouttherightway”Hecaughtmychin,hisfingertipsburningmyskin Warmthspreadthroughoutmychestand lower.“Youdon’thavetobeafraidofme.IoweyouoneforkeepingmeuptodateaboutJay,butthatdoesn’tchangethefact thatyou’veliedtome”
Acar horn blasted in the driveway, and I jumped. “I can explain everything, but not now. I have to go before Jay gets suspicious”
“Thenmeetmetonightsowecantalk.”Hedugaburnerphoneoutofhispocketandhandedittome.“Here,putyournumber in,andI’lltextyouthetimeandwheretomeetmelater.”
“Butit’saweekday”
“And?”
My cheeks flamed I took the phone from him Of course the Scottie he knew was daring and got up to all sorts of shenanigans,whiletherealmehadabedtimethatdidn’textendbeyondtenduringtheweek.Ineededafulleight-hoursleepto functionthenextday
“Here.”Igavehimbackhisphoneandgraspedthedoorknob.“Waituntilwe’regone,andthenyoucanleave.Twistthelock onyourwayout.”
Iturnedthedoorknob,buthishandlandedonmyshoulder “Scottie” Iswallowedandforcedadeepbreathintomylungs,thenglancedathimovermyshoulder.“Yes?”
“Despiteeverything,it’snicetofinallymeetyou Idon’tknowwhyyoulied,butIcantellyou’reagoodperson”
cottiehadliedtome.Hewasnothingatall likethephotographhe’dsentme,andIcouldn’tmakeupmymindifthatwas goodorbad.
FromwhereIsat,Iwatchedhimenterthepub.He’dgonehometochangeandwasnow wearingapairofblackjeansthat madehimlookevenskinnierthanthismorningandaredvestoveralong-sleevedgreenshirt Heloosenedthethicknavywool scarffromaroundhisslenderneck,tuggingatthematerialalmostnervouslyashescannedtheinteriorofthedimlylitpub. Helookedyoungerthanhisage Ormaybehisagehadbeenalietoo Howmuchofwhathe’dtoldmeabouthimselfcouldI believe,andwhatifhe’dliedtomeaboutmyson?ForyearsI’dtakencomfortintheinformationhewrotetomeaboutJay. Scottiespottedme,andhis hands stilledonthescarf.Hedroppedthem,thenraisedtherightandfiddledwithhis glasses. Theylookedcuteonhim Heapproachedthebar,notatallliketheimageI’dhadofhimalltheseyears Washeevenoldenoughtodrink?
“Hi”Hegavemealittlewave Herockedonhisheels,unabletostandstill Washenervous?Well,heshouldbe Hisgaze flickedbackandforthlikehewantedtobeanywherebuthere. Hewasn’tgoinganywhere Notuntilwetalkedatleast Iusedmyfoottopulloutthechairnexttomine.“Sit.”
Heswallowed,themovementemphasizedbyhispalethroatadornedwithasimpleblackchoker.“Yes,sir.”
Mybreathgottrappedinsidemylungs,andIfurrowedmybrow Wasithowhesaid“sir”inthatlowregisterofhisorthe waythechokerclungtohisneck?ThesimplepieceofjewelryremindedmealongtimehadpassedsinceIheldsomeonedown forarealproperfuck Mydicktwitched.
Whatthehellwasthatabout?
Scottie folded his bottomlip betweenhis teeth bracketed bypurple braces and drummed his fingers ontop ofthe bar. Thebartenderrushedforward,probablyassumingScottiewasimpatient,notrealizinghewasnervous. “WhatcanIgetyou?”themanasked “Whiskey.Makeitneat,thankyou.” “I’llneedtoseesomeID”
Scottie’scheeksflamed.“I’mtwenty-five!”
“Youdon’tlookit.EitherIseeyourID,oryoutakeaCoke.”
Scottiemumbledunderhisbreathandfishedhisdriver’slicenseoutofhiswallet.Thebartendertookalonglookatitandat Scottie,thenhandeditback.“Onescotchcomingup.”
Atleasthewaslegal Hehadn’tliedabouthisage
The bartender returned with his drink, and Scottie politely thanked him. Instead of drinking, though, he kept his hand wrappedaroundtheglass Hestaredatmelongandhard Ididn’tsayanything,justlethim,butIsilentlyquestionedtheflutters hiscuriousgazesetoffinmygut.
“Isitreallyyou?”heaskedsoftly.“AreyoureallyGriff?” “It’sme.”
“Whendidyougetout?”
“Afewweeksago Tookmeawhiletogethereandfindatemporaryplacetostay” “Oh.”Hefinallytookasipofhisdrink,madeaface,andputdowntheglass.“So…you’renotstaying?” “Iamstaying Mysonishere”
“Ofcourse.”Hegulpeddownsomemoreofthescotch,andhiseyeswateredbehindhisglasses.Whywashestillpretending tobesomeonehewasn’t?Itwasalmostasifhewasn’tcomfortablebeinghimself. “Yousee,Idon’tthinkJaywillbehappyaboutthis”
“Butyoudon’tknowthatforafact.”
“Itmakessense,though.Hethrewawayeveryletteryousenthim.”
Didn’thethinkI’dconsideredmyson’srejectionallthistime?Icouldn’tevenblameJay Myactionshadforcedhimtogrow upwithoutafather. And withouta competentmother too.She’doverdosed,leavinghimtobe raisedbyrelatives.Ifthe stuff Scottiehadtoldmeinhislettersweretrue “Istillhavetotry,andyou’regoingtohelpme.”
Whenhereachedfortheglassagain,Icouldn’ttakeitanymore Isnatcheditfromhishandandflungbacktheliquidall at once.Hegapedatme.Isignaledthebartender,whocameoverinstantly.Itwasaslownightatthebar. “I’dlikeaCoke.”Igavehimbacktheglass.
Scottie’s facewas soredIwouldhavelaughedifhehadn’tirritatedme Our letters hadbeeneasy I’dcometoanticipate gettingthemeverymonth.Wehadexchangedoverahundredletters,andhestillactedasifIwereastrangerwhenhewasthe onewho’dliedtome
“Whydidyoupretendtobesomeoneyou’renot?Whyareyoustilldoingitnow?” Hesquirmedinthechairandfiddledwithhisglasses “I’mnot ”
“Scottie,don’tmakemeputyouovermykneeinfrontofabarfullofpeople.” Hismouthfellopenwide.ThebartenderplacedtheCokeinfrontofhimandfrowned. “Youokayoverhere?”heaskedScottie
Inailedhimwithascowlforhimtomindhisbusiness,butheignoredmeuntilScottienodded,thenwalkedaway. “You’veneverdrunkadayinyourlife,haveyou?”
Hestraightenedhisspine.“Ihave…”Hisshoulderssagged.“Not.”
“Thenwhatareyoudoingorderingascotch?”
Hesuckedhisbottomlipbetweenhisteethandreleasedit.“TheInternetsaysit’sasafedrinktoorderatabar.”
“Notforanewdrinker.Firstthephotographandnowthis.Whydidyousendthatpicture?”Especiallywhentherealversion ofhimwassomuchbetter Thismansittingnexttomefittheimageofsomeonewho’dgoneoutofhiswaytokeepmeinformed aboutmykidforthelastnineyearsbetterthantheguywiththecockysmirkinthephotohe’dsentme.
“I Idon’tknow”
“Youdo know,butwe’llcomebacktothat.Whatelsedidyoulieabout?”
“I’msosorry.Ithoughtyou’dneverbereleased,andIdidn’twantyoutoworry.” Mybodywentrigid.“Whatdidyoudo?”
“Thereareafewthingsyoushouldknowfirst,butbeforeItellyou,youhavetopromisemeyouwon’ttrytoseeJayuntilI sayhe’sready”
“I’mnotagreeingtothat.”
“Youhaveto IneedtimetocomecleantohimaboutwhatIdid Ihavetobehonestwithhim”
“Doyougothroughlifebeingaliar,oristhisaspecialeffectreservedonlyfortheBurkemen?”
“Nowthat’snotfair,”hesnapped,blueeyesflashing.“MostofwhatItoldyouistrue.AndifIfibbed,it’sbecauseIdidn’t wanttohurtyourfeelings Ifyou’regoingtojudgemeallnight,thenI’llgo YoucanscrewupeverythingwithJayifyouwant SeeifIcareanymore!”
Sothepretty,mousyboywiththebracesattheripeageoftwenty-fivehadclaws Interesting Maybenoteverythinghe’dtold abouthimselfhadbeenlies.
Beforehecouldgetup,Iplacedmyhandoverhis “Don’tgo.”
Hecurledhisfingersintoafist.“AreyougoingtokeepbringingupwhatIdid?”
“Idon’tunderstandit Eventually,we’llhavetotalkaboutit,buttheimportantthingrightnowisJayandhowtogetthrough tohim.”
Herelaxedhishanduntilhispalmwasflatonthebarwithminestilloverit Humancontactwasn’tsomethingI’dhadmuch ofa choice inbehind bars. I’d beenprodded and searched at a stranger’s whim. Myhand over Scottie’s was mychoice. I hadn’ttouchedanyonethiswaysinceI’dbeenout
ThatmustbethereasonIdidn’twanttoletgo.
“Yeah,Jay’sstillupsetwhensomeonementionsyou.”Hecockedhisheadtothesideasifapologizing.“AllIwantisaweek orsotolethimknow thatI’vebeenwritingtoyou He’llbeupset,naturally,soI’llneedanotherfew daystobreakittohim thatyou’reout.”
“Thissoundslikeit’sgoingtotakeforever” “Whydidn’tyousayinyourlastletterthatyoumightgetout?” “LikeI’dsaid,Iwantedittobeasurprise.”
Idid.Atfirst,I’dkepttheappealfromhim,notwantinghimtogethishopesup.ThoughtsofhowScottiewouldreactwhen hesawmeinthefleshhadconsumedme.
He’dnevercometotheprisontomeetmeinperson,alwaysmakingsomeexcusefornotbeingableto.NowIknewwhy. “Iwasn’tcompletelytruthful aboutJay’s life,” he said.“He isn’tinmedical school.He droppedoutofcollege duringhis second year ofhis nursingprogram Said itdidn’tfeel rightand he wanted to find himself He’s beena bitofa free spirit since.”
“Freespirit?Whatdoesthatmeanexactly?”
Shit.Thiswasn’tgoingexactlythewayI’dthought.TheliesScottiehadtoldmehadletmebelievethatmykidhadn’tturned outtobeascrewuplikehisdad I’dbeenproudwhenIlearnedhewasstudyingtobecomeadoctor “Hebouncesaroundjobs.Don’tgetmewrong.He’sagreatguy.Theabsolutebest.Why,whenmyexhit…”Hesuckedina deepbreath.“Anyway,he’sgreat.”
“No,wait,youweresayingsomethingaboutyourex?”
“It’snotimportant.JustthatJayhasbeenthereforme,andIwanttobethereforhim,sopleaseletmedothisright.” “Fine”Isighedanddownedtherestofmybeer “ButI’monlygivingyouaweektotellhim I’vemissedtoomuchofhislife already.”
“IguessIbetterfindanewapartment”
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“I’vebeenlivingwithJayforoverayear,butI’msurehe’llaskmetoleavewhenhefindsoutwhatIdid.Hehastworules nevertomentionyouortouchthelettersyousendhim”
Iwinced,theholeinmyheartthathadclosedupwitheachofScottie’slettersnowwideningagain.WhatifJaydidn’tcome aroundandinsistedhewantednothingtodowithme?I’dsurvivedprisonforthismomentofmakingthingsrightwithmyson, butwasthatevenpossible?
“I’msure he’ll come around.” Scottie slippedhis handfrombeneathmine,butinsteadofpullingitaway,he laidhis hand overmine.Hegentlycaressedmyskinabsentmindedly.“It’sonethingforhimtorejectyourletters.Thosewereeasytowrite, butwhenheseesyouinperson,he’llrealizehowseriousyouareaboutreconciling.”
Scottiesmiled,lipspartingtorevealhisteeth Hewasbreathtakinglybeautifulwhenhesmiledlikethat Beautiful?
SincewhendidIconsiderothermenbeautiful?
Yetsomethingabouthimunsettledmelikenothinghadinalongtime.Wehadsevenyearsofhistorybetweenus.
Scottie’seyesclashedwithmine,andhestoppedbrushingthebackofmyhand.Hissmiledropped,andheclampedhislips togetherasifherealizedhe’dshownmehisbraces.Hesnatchedhishandawaytooandfiddledwithhisscarf. “Ishouldgo.”
“Already?Youjustgothere”
“I-istheresomethingelseyouwantedtotalkabout?”
“Ithoughtwecouldcatchup”
“IreallywishIcould,butIcan’t.”
Noexplanationatall.Washestillafraidofme?Ifhewas,hewouldn’thavecometonight,wouldhe?
“You’llletmeknowhowthingsaregoingwithJay?” Henoddedandhoppeddownfromthebarstool.“Surething.”
“Andyou’resureyoucan’tstayforanotherdrink?”Ineededmoretimetofigurehimout “Maybenexttime.”
Iwavedthebartenderovertosettlemybill “I’llwalkyoutoyourcar” “Youdon’thavetodothat.”
“Iwantto.”
Iquicklypaid and leftthe bartender a generous tip Althoughhe was still watchingus suspiciouslyas ifhe thoughtIhad ulteriormotivesforbringingScottieheretonight.IheldScottiebytheupperarmandguidedhimtotheexit.
“Griff,you’rewalkingtoofast”
Scottiewashuffingtocatchupwithmylongstrides.Isloweddownmypace.“Sorry.” “It’sokay MostpeopleforgetIhaveshortlegs”
Iheldthedooropenforhim,andheslippedoutaheadofme.Hebarelycameuptomychest,andsomethingaboutthatmade mybreathhitch.Theguyinthephotographhe’dsentmewas muchtaller andbroadlybuilt.Thefun-sizedboyinfrontofme wouldn’thavelastedadayinprison Hewouldhavebeenpassedaroundlikethecommoncold Mychestswelledwithemotions emotionsthatastonished,confused,andintriguedme.Itmighthavebeenclosetotwenty yearssinceI’dtouchedanyone,butIstillknewwhatdesirewas Ijustneverexpectedittohitmelikethis Before prison, I’d onlybeenwithwomen, and while onthe inside, I never tookup the offers I got. I’d never evenbeen temptedbyanofferedmouth,preferringtobeatmydickalone.
“That’s mycar.” Scottie pointed ata compactblue Honda Civic hatchback. Itwas the same car Jayhad beendrivingthis morningwhentheyleftthehouse.
Whenacarspedpastus,Itookhiselbowandpulledhimback.Hestumbledagainstmychest,andIwrappedmyotherarm aroundhiswaisttosteadyhim.Heplantedafistagainstmychest,andtimestoodstill.Neitherofusmoved,evenafterthecar waslonggone
Hetiltedhisheadback allthewayback.Icouldn’tseehiseyesclearlybehindhisglasses,andIwantedtoremovethem.It feltlikehewashidingfrommebehindthem,buthe’dhiddenforsomanyyears Wasn’tittimehewastruthfulabouthimself?I wasn’tfreakingoutaboutthisundeniablechemistrybetweenus.Wasittheyearsspenttalkingtohimthathadcreatedabond betweenus?
Whateverthehellitwas,itwasreal,andIcouldbetruthfultomyselfaboutthat. Asnowflakeflutteredontohisglasses,andhepulledback.Ireleasedhim.Withoutaword,hescurriedacrossthestreet.I followedatamoresedatepacejustsoIcouldtakemyfillofhim
Likeapredatorstalkinghisprey.
SCOTTIE
hmygod.Ohmygod.Ohmygod,”IwhisperedasIforcedmyhandintothepocketofmyskinnyjeanstograbmycar key. Behind me, Icould feel Griff’s presence, and Ineeded to getawaybefore Imade a bigger fool ofmyselfthanI alreadyhad.
Whathadpossessedmetoorderscotch?Shouldhaveknownhewouldseerightthroughme Iwasacapable,grownman I hadadecentjobworkingatabank.Icontributedtoutilitiesandgroceries.Everyyear,IfiledmyandJay’staxesontime.
WhydidGriffmakemewanttoduckbehindthenearestobjectandhide?
Get it together, Scottie.
“Youneedsomehelpthere?”Griffasked,waycloserthanI’dimagined.
“N-nope Igotit” Ihooked myfinger into the keyringand yanked itoutofmypocket Yes!One triumphfor the night I wiggleditsohecouldsee,andthekeychainflewoffmyfingerandhittheground.“Oops.”
Ibenttopickupthekey Atthesametime,sodidhe Ourheadscollidedlikewalnutsandahammer Hedidn’tevenshifton hisfeetwhileItumbledover.GriffcaughtmebeforeIhittheground,andasifIweighednothing,hescoopedupthekeyand me
“Youall right?” Hesetmeonmyfeetandgrippedmychin.His handwas icy,a goodexcuse for me tobrushitawayand duckmyhead.Mycheeksburned,andIdidn’twanthimtoseehowredmyfacemusthavegotten.
“I’mfine”Ifixedmyglassesandrubbedmyforehead Darnit,bangingmyheadonhishurt Whydidhelooklikehehadn’t beenaffectedatall?
“Youdon’tlooksofine Lemmesee”Hishandreturnedtomychin,andIsquirmed “Standstill” “Ye-yes,sir.”
Airhissedthroughhisteeth Iraisedahandandpressedittohischesttokeephimatadistance Hewaswaytooclose,andI alreadycouldn’tbreathe.DidIevenhavemyinhalerinthecar?It’dbeenawhilesinceI’dneededit.
Griffnudgedmychinupwardtoseebetter.Hishandwasroughonmyskin.Histouchlefttinglesonmyflesh.
“That’sprobablygoingtoleaveabump”
Iglancedupathim,justasheloweredhisface.Electricitycrackledbetweenus.Ohgod,hewasgoingtokissme. Griff’s going to kiss me Chappedlipsfromthecoldandall,Ipuckeredupandclosedmyeyes,givingmyselfaboostuponmytoes Hewassomuchtaller.Itightenedmyhandonhisshirt,bunchingthematerialupintomyfist,andsqueezed.Mybreathhitched inmythroat,andnervousanticipationzingedthroughme.
I’m about to kiss Griff.
Seconds ticked by, and nothing but the frigid night air caressed my lips. Huh? I squinted one eye open and found Griff frowningatme Hislips,unlikemine,weren’tpuckeredupforthekissI’dthoughthewasabouttogiveme Mortified,Isqueezedmyeyesshuttight.Howtogetoutofthis? Iswooned
WhatelsewasIsupposedtodo?Ifakedaswoonthatshouldhaveputsomedistancebetweenus,buthecaughtme.Again.A big,musculararmslidaroundmybackandkeptmefromhittingtheground.
“Ifyou’regoingtofakefainting.”Griffchuckled.“Tomakeitwork,you’llhavetoreleaseyourdeathgriponmyshirtfirst.” FigNewtons,hewasright!
Iblinkedmyeyesopen Griff’sstaretrappedthenonsensicalwordsthatwouldhavespilledfrommylips HowcouldIhave beenwrongaboutthekiss?Theenergybetweenus…thewayhewaslookingatme.Wasitallone-sided? “Oh!”
Handsplantedonmyhips,Griffsweptmeoffmyfeetandplunkedmedownontothehoodofmycar.
“What ”
He loweredhis head,andthis time his lips were onmine Atthe lastsecond,Ipressedmylips
couldn’tlookaway.Griffwaskissingme.
“Openup,Scottie,”hemurmured.
Hypnotizedbyhishoneyedwords,Ipartedmylips Surely,hewouldretreatwhenheencounteredmybraces Buthetookhis time, keeping his tongue away fromthe metal and delving straight for mine. The tension eased out of my shoulders, and I grabbedhisshirtandmoanedintohismouth Mynipplestingledagainstmyshirt Iwantedhimtolaymedownonthecarand takemerightthere.
Iclenchedmyass andshiftedmyhandlower,grazingthe bulge atthe frontofhis jeans JumpingJerrySpringer, that was becauseofme?Ispreadmylegsopenandurgedhimtocomecloser.
“Getaroomalready!Nobodyneedstoseethat!”
Attheangrytone,Iflinchedandjerkedmyheadback “Ouch.”Griffsteppedbackandinspectedhistongue,bloomingred.
Horrified, Ijumped downfromthe hood ofthe car “Ohmygod, I’msorry” Ihopped fromfootto foot, wantingto move closertohimtoinspecthowbaditwas,butfearkeptmeback.Whatifhegotmad?Mygazedroppedtohishands.Theywere sobig Theycouldreallyhurtme
“I-Ihavetogo.”Igrabbedthedoorhandleandyankedit,butitdidn’tbudge.
“Scottie,calmdown.Thedoor’slocked.”
“It’sgettinglate,andIreallyneedtogo MayIhavethekey,please?” “Sure.Hereyougo.”
Heextendedhishand,andIhesitated Ididn’twanttotouchhim Somethingwasgoingonhere,anditcouldn’thappen He wasJay’sfather.
Oh,nutcracker!I’dmadeoutwithJay’sfatheronmycar.
Theneedtogetawayfromhimmadetouchinghimworthit.Ipretendedazingdidn’traceupmyarmandthatIhadn’ttasted hisbloodfromwheremybraceshadcuthistongue.
“Scottie,areyousafetodrive?”heasked
“Whywouldn’tIbe?”Ilaughed,thesoundtoohigh-pitchedevenforme.“I’vebeendrivingsinceIwassixteen.Passedthe driver’sexamonthefirstgo”
“Iknow.Youtoldme.”
Right.ThiswasthemanI’dbeenwritingmydeepestsecretsanddesiresto.Ohmygod.Someofthoseletters…whatthehell hadIbeenthinking?Hewasastranger.WhowentintoasmanydetailsasIdidtoanothermanabouthissexlife?Astrangerat that.Astrangerinprison.
No,itcouldn’tbethatbad
Itriedtoconvincemyself.Ihadto,orIcouldneverseehimeveragain.Iunlockedthecarandjumpedinside.Griffcaught thedoorbeforeIcouldcloseit
“Weshould ”
“I’llletyouknowwhenItellJay!”Isaid.“ButIreallyshouldgo,Griff.Goodnight.”
Hesighedandnodded “Fine Goodnight Drive ” IpulledthedoorshutandbuckledmyseatbeltwhileIputthecarinDrive.Ipressedonthegas,andthecarshotbackward. Rightintothewallwithaloudcrash Mybodyhurtledforward,buttheseatbeltkeptmeinplace Therearwindshieldshattered,litteringthebackseatwithglass.Trembling,IputthecarintoPark.Thedoorwasflungopen fromtheotherside,andGriffpokedhisheadin
“Scott!Areyouhurt?”Heleanedforwardandunbuckledmyseatbelt.
“I-I’mfine.”ShakenupathowstupidI’dbeen,butfine.“I’mokay.”
Griffhelped me outofthe car Afew people had wandered outofthe bar butdidn’tseemparticularlyinterested Justthe world’sbiggestidiotramminghisnewcarintoawall.Nothingnewtosee. “Whatthehellhappened?”Griffgrowled Itookastepback.Mynoodles becausecallingthemlegswouldbemisleading wobbled,andIalmostwentdown.Griff caughtme Yetagain
Ugh,Iwasn’tadamselindistress. Istraightenedmyspineandlockedmyknees.“Itwasastupidmistake.”Ilookedatthedisasterofmycar.“I’msostupid.” “Stopthat You’renot”Hebrushedalockofhairfrommyforehead
Whydidhemakeitseemsonatural?Heshouldstop doingthattoo.Hejustmademewanttoclingtohimlikeakoalaandbawlforwreckingmycar.Itwasn’tevenamontholdyet. “Iknowyoumadethedean’slistincollegeandgraduatedtopofyourclassforyourfinancedegree” Iscoffed.
“Youmadeamistake,that’sall.Wealldo.”
ButnotasmanyastheonesIdidtonight.“Ineedtocallsomeone.” “DoyouhaveAAA?”
Yes, that’s who I should call. Inodded.
“Letmetakecareofit”
“Icanhandleitmyself.”
“Scottie,you'vejustbeeninanaccident Youmightnothavebeenhurt,butyoumustbeprettyshakenup”Hetookmebythe shoulderandwalkedmeawayfromthecartoalowwallthatrantheperimeteroftheproperty.“Sitrighthereandletmetake careofeverything”
Hemadeitsoundsoeasy.Isatandwrappedmyarmsaroundmylegs.
“Areyoucold?”heasked.“Youcanhavemyjacket?”
“Ialreadyhaveoneon”
“Youstill lookcold.You’re soskinnythata strongwindmightblow youaway.” He shruggedoffhis jacketanddrapedit overmyshoulder
“Howmuchdoesthisweigh?”Imused.“Onepound?Willthatstopthewindfromblowingmeaway?”
Griffchuckled “Feisty Ilikethat Keepitup,andI’llknowyou’reokay Nowstopdistractingmewithyoursass,andletme handleyourbusiness.”
I handed himmyphone withthe number, and he walked toward the car withthe device pressed to his ear. Too bad the businessI’dwantedhimtotakecareofearlierwasme
Hegotmypapersoutofthecar,andwhenhereturnedtomyside,hegavemethephoneback.“They’resendingsomeoneout. Shouldbehereinten Let’satleastwaitinsidethebar It’swarmer”
Inoddedandfollowedhiminside,wherewefoundatableclosetothedoor.
“Whyareyousonervous?”Griffasked.“It’sjustme,Scottie.”
Irubbedahandatthesideofmyneckandglancedaway.ThiswastheScottiehehadtoaccept.Notthebrave,daringguyI’d pretendedtobeinourletters.ThisScottietooktimetomakedecisionsandalwaysweighedtheprosandtheconsbeforedoing anythingimportant
Likekissingmybestfriend’sfather. Thathadconwrittenalloverit
“Ishould letJayknow whathappened.” Iunlocked myphone and pulled up Jay’s number. Ityped ina few quicklines of explanationand sent the message. WhenIlocked myphone and turned to Griff, he was frowning. He looked… distant and withdrawn.
“Somethingwrong?”Iasked. Regrettingthekiss?
Heshookhisheadbutdidn’texpound.Hekeptglancingatthedoorlikehewantedtogo.Washeonlystickingaroundtohelp mebecauseofwhatI’ddoneforhiminprison?
Wasthattherealreasonhe’dkissedme?Tomakemenotfeelbadformisinterpretingthemovementofhisheadearlier?
“Youcango,youknow.I’llhandleeverythingwhentheygethere.”
“Ican’tdothat Notafterallyou’vedoneforme AndI’msureJaywouldwantmetolookoutforyou Ididn’tgetachance todothatwithhim,butIcandothisinstead.”
“Oh”HewasonlydoingthisbecauseJaywasmyfriend Yeah,thatdidn’tmakemefeelbetteratall Myphonevibrated,andIansweredit.TheAAAguys werehere.Griffraisedhis eyebrows,andInodded.Whywas itso easytounderstandhim?Whenitdidn’thavetodowithmymisplaceddesire
We exited the bar to meetthe tow truck. Imostlyhunginthe background while Griffhandled things. He justtookcontrol withoutevenasking.NotthatIwascomplaining.Infact,Ilikeditalittletoomuch. I’dneverknownwhathelookedlikebefore Jaydidn’thaveanypicturesofhimlyingaround Writingletterstohimevery monthhadbeenexciting.ImighthaveevenhadasillycrushonthemanI’dthoughthimtobebasedonourconversations,but this Iwouldneverhaveexpectedthishot-as-sinoldermanwhokissedlikeagod “Allright,that’stakencareof.”GriffandIwatchedthetowtruckhaulawaymycar.Alittlewhimperleftme.Ineededmy cartogettowork
“I’dbettercallanUber,”Isaid. “Whatfor?I’llgiveyouaride.”
Iwavedmyhand “Icouldn’t You’vealreadydonesomuch” “YouknowthingswouldbeeasierifIjustpickyouupand ” “Don’tyoudare!I’mnotachild”
Heswepthisgazefrommyheadtotoeandbackup.“Icanseethat.” Whatwasthatsupposedtomeannow?Iswallowedhard.Ourkissfromearlierandthewayit’dmademefeel,swirledinmy head.
“Okay,”Imumbled.“It’snotthatfaranyway.”
“Good.Youknow,youweren’tthisdifficulttohandleinyourletters.” Ipoutedandfollowedhim.“Inyourletters,youweren’torderingmearound.” Hewaswalkingtoofastagain,andIwasn’tgoingtorunafterhim Heseemedtohaverealizedthatonhisown,though,and sloweddown.
“Thoughtyouenjoyedbeingorderedaround” Oh,fudgesticksandpopsicles.ThosethingsI’dmentionedinmyletterwereasbadasI’dfeared.
Itriedtolaughitoff “Ithinkwe’veestablishedIsaidalotinthoselettersthatstretchedthetruthalittle” Heharrumphed,theonlyresponseIgotoutofhim.Griffstopped,andIstaredattheblackmotorcycleinfrontofus. “Waitaminute.”Isteppedback.“That’s whatyourodehere?” “Yeah What’stheproblem?”
“Ican’tgetonthat.”
Justlookingatitmademylungslosealltheirair “Whynot?”Heunlockedthehelmetfromthehandlebarsandextendedittome.“Hereyougo.” Ieyedthethingthatlookedwaytoobigformyhead “B-b-butit’samotorcycle Idon’tknowhowtorideamotorcycle” “That’swhyyou’retakingthebitchseat.”
Isputtered,myfacegrowinghot.“Whatdidyoujustcallme?”
“Notyou,theseatbackthere That’swhatit’scalled” “Oh.”How…disappointing.
“IthoughtyouwantedtobedaringScottieMcHottie”Hegrinned,displayingperfectrowsofteeth “Youwon’tbackdown, willyou?”
“I’mnotawuss!”Hehadn’tusedtheword,butIwascertainhewasthinkingit.Igrabbedthehelmetfromhimandplacedit overmyhead.JustasI’dthought.Waytoobig.
“Letme.”Griffshiftedthehelmettositbetteronmyhead.“Now youlookbadass.”Herappedhisknucklesonthehelmet. “Kindof”
“Let’sjustgo.”
ThesoonerIwashome,thesoonerIcouldforgetallaboutthisnightmare Griffthrewonelegoverthemotorcycleandsat.Hepattedtheseatbehindhimandheldouthishand.“Comeonup.” ItookadeepbreathandhoppedontothebikeandsqueakedwhenIlandedhardontheseatandmighthavebruisedmyballs alittle.
“Youokaybackthere?”
“Yes”
“Putyourarmsaroundme.”
Ipulledmyhandsintomychest “What?” “Holdontome,Scottie,oryou’llfall.”
“Oh.” IfonlyIcould throw awaymybrainand order another onspecial delivery. One thatwas Griff-resistant. Mybrain hadn’tbeenfunctioningrightsinceheshoweduponmydoorstep Islippedmyarmsaroundhimcautiously.Griffgrippedthem,hishandsnowcoveredbyleathergloves.Imissedtheskin-toskincontact Hewrappedthemaroundhismiddle,theactionslidingmeforwarduntilIwasplasteredagainsthisback “Therewego,”hesaid.“Hangontight.”
Scottie held on to me for dear life, his body pressed up against my back, doing crazy things to my insides. Yup, I was definitelyattractedtothepint-sizeguywhostillconstantlythrew meforaloop.Thatkiss…betternottothinkaboutittoo muchwhenIhadpreciouscargoridingwithme.
I’dalwaystakenhimtobealittleeccentric Hehadgonethroughhisbestfriend’smail,contactedme,andkeptintouchfor sevenyears.ButwhatI’dfound…EverysecondIwasaroundScottie,heprovedtobemoreinteresting.Atfirst,Imighthave pegged everylittle thinghe’d said as a lie, butafter thatkiss, whew!Scottie mightnotbe the timid little mouse he’d come acrossasthefirsttimewe’dmet.
Hehadmorelayers.
Too bad theyweren’t mine to peel back It was bad enoughthat I’d kissed myson’s boyfriend And what was he doing lookingatmewithsuchopenhungerandkissingmebacklikethat?
WashenotthepersonIthoughthimtobe?Honestandfaithful,lovinganddeservingofmyson
Their house came intoview,andIsloweddownandturnedintothe driveway.Icame toa complete stopa few feetaway fromthestepsandloweredthekickstand Scottiestillclungtomybackasifhedidn’twanttoletgo Isavored his closeness for a few seconds. Since I’d beenout, I’d tried onthree differentoccasions to fucka womanand endedupnotfollowingthrough.WhythendidIwanttoputScottiebetweenmeandthehandlebars?
Stop it, Griff He’s not for you Ipried his fingers loose, buthe had trouble gettingoffthe bike byhimself. His legs were soshort. Ihelpedhimdownby liftinghimupandsettinghimonhisfeet Howcouldoneguybesolight?Hecouldn’tbemorethanonetwentywet “Popsicle!”hegrunted.
“What?”Hehadabadhabitofnotmakingsense,justthrowingrandomwordsaround “Isaidpopsicle.”
“Youwant…apopsicle?”
“No,Imean nevermind”Hetookoffthehelmetandhandedittome “Mylegsfeelfunny” “What?Youneverhadthemopenforthatlongbefore?”
Scottiegasped,andhisfaceturnedred Heshovedhisglassesuphisnoseandglaredatme “That’snoneofyourbusiness” “Don’tyouthinkit’s a little too late?” Icouldn’tresistteasinghim. He made itso easy. “Imean, those letters…” Iwolfwhistledandwaggledmyeyebrows.
“You’rehorribleformentioningthem.”Hefiddledwithhisglasses.“Thoseletters…theyweren’tme.Theyweretheguy…I waspretendingtobe.”
So I’d thoughttoo, butsomethingtold me thatthe fake persona he’d created was also a partofhim Probablybred outof somedesirehedidn’tknowhowtoexpress.Thefactthathedenieditsostronglyonlymademewanttoprovehimwrong. Itookastepback
He’s not yours.
Evenifmysonwasoutofthepicture,Scottiecouldn’tbemine.Iwouldn’tknowwhattodowithamaninmylife.Inprison, I’dseenenoughmenfuckingtoknowwhatwentwhere,andhislittlesexyassmightlooktempting,butthenwhat?Thisgaystuff wasn’tmeatall.
Thekisshadcomeeasy,though Therewasthat “Well,you’rehome,”Isaid.“Youshouldgoin.”
BeforeIdidsomethingrecklessandstupid Likekissinghimagain Whydidhekeeplookingatmethatway?DidIneedto remindhimhehadaboyfriend myson heseemednottothinktoomuchaboutcheatingon?
“Wishyouwouldstoptellingmewhattodo,”hemumbled,histightbehindswishinginhisform-fittedjeans.Beggingmeto spreadhimopenand
Fuck,nope.
“You’llsticktoyourwordandtalktoJay,won’tyou?”Icalledafterhim.
“Yeah,IsaidIwould Oncehe’sinagoodmood We’vebeentogetherforsolongImightbeabletofindawaytobutterhim upandforgivemeafter.”
Ifrowned Didhedothatoften?Treatmysonbadly,thenusehischarmstogetJaytoforgivehim?
Somethingwaswrongwiththispicture.Besidesmeputtingmytonguedownmyson’sboyfriend’sthroat.IfonlyIcouldput myfingeronit
“Goodnight,”hesaid.“Thanksforhelpingouttoday.”
“Noproblem.Youhavemynumber.Youneedanything,youcancallme.”
“Yeah,forJay”
NotreallyforJay,butitwasbetterforhimtothinkthat.“Right.”Iputthehelmetonandstraddledthebike. “Griff?”
Hewasworryinghisbottomlipwithhisteeth.Thosedamnbraces.Irubbedmybruisedtongueovertheroofofmymouth. I’dkisshimagain
“Yeah?”
“Umm,areyouokay?Imean,doyouhaveaplacetostay?I well,youcan’tstayhere,obviously,butIcanmaybespringfor acheapapartmentforyouuntil ”
“Don’tworryaboutit.” Shit, his offer hitme inthe feels. So manypeople I’d knownbefore mytime inthe slammer had turned their backs on me I couldn’t blame them either Many felt uncomfortable, knowing the level of viciousness I was capableof.
“Ican’tnotworryaboutit.You’reJay’sfather,andIlovehimthemostintheworld.Youalreadyknow that.Hemightnot knowityet,buthe’llwanttoreconcilewithyousomeday.”
Ibitmytonguenottosnapathimforwhathewasdoing kissinganothermanwhenhewassoinlovewithmyson.“Ifyou reallycareaboutJay,youshouldthinkaboutyouractionsinthefuture”
Hejuttedouthischin.Thestubbornstreakwasback.God,thiswasprobablythemostinterestingsideofhim.
“I’mnotsorryfor whatIdid, and Idon’tregretit IfIwentbackintime, Iwould do itagainand again” He spunonhis heels.
I stared at his back, struckdumb. He unlocked the front door, slipped inside the house, and closed the door behind him. MinutespassedasIcouldn’tlookawayfromthespotwherehe’dbeen.Whatdidhemeanbythat?Hedidn’tregretthekiss? Howshameless.
Yetathrillhummedinmyveins Thekindofthrillthaturgedmetogotothedoorandknock Whenheopenedit,I’dkisshim againandagain,justlikehewanted.
“Jesus,Griff Useyourfuckingbrain,notyourdick,”Iwhisperedfiercely
Maybe ifhe wasn’tsoimportanttomyson,Iwouldhave testedthis unusual attraction.IfItookhimtobed,it’dprobably knocksomesenseintome,showmethatIcouldn’tfuckanotherman.Iwasn’tastrangertoassplaywithwomen,butthiswas different Hewasaman Hehadadick,andI’dnevertouchedoneofthoseexceptmine Igunned the motorcycle and sped out ofthe driveway, takingthe interstate home to mytemporaryhome. Christ, he had offeredtogetmeanewapartment Hewasabankteller Ididn’timaginehemadealot WouldhehavefollowedthroughhadI acceptedhisoffer?NotthatIwouldhave,butthatwasawfullyniceofhim.
Howcouldsomeonethatniceentertaintheideaofsleepingwithmewhenhewasinarelationshipwithmyson?
I shook off my confusing feelings toward Scottie. The night was too beautiful to waste trying to figure something out I probablywould never understand. After beinglocked up for so long, itfeltgood to be backonmyhog, the wind buffeting againstmybodyasthefamiliarrushoftimeandplacebecamenonexistent Justamanonhismotorcycle,livinginthemoment
Toosoon,Iarrivedattheapartmentbuildingwheremyfriend,Douglas,lived.Aconfirmedbachelor,hehadnointentionof settlingdownanytimesoonandhadbeenmorethanhappytooffermehisguestbedroom Althoughhe’dtoldmetostayforas longasIwanted,Ineededtogetthehelloutassoonaspossible.ToregainthekindoffreedomI’dbeenusedto,Ihadtohave myownplaceandmakemyownmoney
Isecuredmybike andenteredthe apartmentbuildingwithmyhelmetunder myarm.The elevator was broken,andittook fourflightsofstairstogettoDoug’splace,butIdidn’tmindtheexercise.Inprison,I’dworkedoutalottostemtheboredom, butIhadn’tbeentothegymoncesinceIwasreleased Iwasalreadyshortonmoneyfromgettingmybike Iletmyselfin.For twomen,the apartmentwas justbigenough,butthere was noroomtomaneuver much.The frontdoor openeduptoashorthallwiththekitchentotherightandthelivinganddiningroomcombototheleft Doughadconvertedthe diningroompartintoastorageareafortheinstrumentsheneededforhisbusinessasadiscjockey.Heworkedatanightclub andtraveledalot.Tonight,hewasoffandsprawledoutonthecouchwithafatbluntbetweenhislips,aslender,big-chested girlonhislapandanotheronthecouchnexttothem.
As Ientered, all eyes were onme. Douggrinned. “Griff, you’re right ontime.” He placed a hand onthe shoulder ofthe
womansittingonthecouchandstrokedherthere.“Breerighthere’sbeenwaitingforyou.” Hegavemeawink.Thewoman,whogottoherfeet,hadaboredexpressiononherface,butassheassessedme,shesmiled. “Hi,Doug’sbeentellingmeallaboutyou,buthenevermentionedhowhotyouare” Inodded.“Nicetomeetyou.”
“Grababeerfromthefridgeandjoinus,”Dougsaid “Wegotmusicplaying,andthegirlscandanceforus” ThewomenseemedeagertodoexactlywhatDoughadsaid.Aftersomanyyearsinprison,Ishouldbeexcitedatwhatwas happeninghere,butIwasn’tintheslightest Notalickofinterestlashedthroughme Instead,warmblueeyesfilteredintomy mind.
WouldhedanceformeifIasked?
ftherewasarecordfortheworstdateintheGuinnessBookofWorldRecords,mynightshouldbeinitunderthatcategory. Andthatwaswithoutanyeffortonmyparttobeincluded.
Iclenchedmyfingerstightlyandsqueezedmybuttcheeksasmydatebrakedattheendofthedriveway.Hard.Sohardthe carjolted He’dbeendrivinglikeamaniacsincewelefttherestaurant,anditcouldn’tbethealcohol,unlesshe’dsnuckina glassortwowhileI’dbeeninthebathroom,contemplatinghowtofitthroughthewindowbarstoescape.
EventhoughIwassmall,Icouldn’t,andI’dalmostgottenstuck Ishouldhaveendedthedateearly,buteachtimeI’dtried, he’dtalkedover meanddismissedthemanyhintsI’dgiventhatwedidn’thaveanythingincommon.Besidesbeingahuman beingandhavingsimilarneedsconsistentwithourspecies.
Thisdatehadsucked,anditwasallGriff’sfault
Ifhehadn’tkissedme,Iwouldn’thaveobsessedoveritsomuchthatitworriedme.Andwhenacoworkersuggestedsetting meuponablinddatewithhergaycousin,Iwouldn’thaveforcedmyselftosayyes ToforgetaboutGriff Somuchforthat I keptcomparingCurtistohim,anditwasnosurprisewhoIfoundlacking.
Curtiswaswellgroomed,hadanicesmileandaconfidentposture Heshouldhavebeentheperfectguytotakemymindoff Griff.ButCurtishadbeenanoverbearingjackass,overridingmyorderandaskingthewaitertobringmeasaladinsteadofthe juicysteakI’dbeencravingthemomentIsawitonthemenu.Apparently,helikedmyfigure,andifweweretocontinuedating, Iwouldhavetomaintainit
Redflagswavedinfrontofmyeyesallnight.I’dbeenthroughonecrazy,abusiveboyfriend,andthatexperiencewasenough tolastmealifetime
Curtis’s hand landed on my thigh, dangerously close to my cock, which was so dead I could start making funeral arrangementsforit Iwasprettysurethisguywouldneverbeabletoresuscitateit,butIdidn’twanttothinkaboutwhomight Darnit.
Mycocktwitched.Fromthewayhesqueezedmythigh,Curtisnoticed.Probablybelieveditwasbecauseofhim. “Iwasthinking,”hesaid “Forournextdate,we’llgooutnextweekend You’refreethen,right?Itdoesn’tmatter Whatever you’redoing,dropit.”
I chuckled nervously, released myseat belt, and pushed his hand off mythigh “I’mnot sure yet I’ll have to check, and somethingmightcomeup,butthiswasfun.Drivebacksafely!”
Withoutwaitingforaresponse,Iquicklygotoutofhiscarandshutthedoor.ButwhenIroundedthehood,hewasnextto me,wearingthatsmileI’dthoughtwasniceatfirstbutnowjustseemedpredatoryandcreepy. “WhatkindofdatewouldIbeifIdidn’twalkyoutothedoor?”heasked.
“Really,youdon’thaveto” “Iinsist.”
WhichI’dfeared Asweclimbedthesteps,hedroppedhishandonmylowerback,slippingjustlowenoughtograzemyass “Thisisit.”Iturnedtofacehimsohewouldhavetomovehishand.“Thanksagainfortonight,Curtis.”
“Wait,notsofast.”Hecaughtmywrist.“Aren’tyougoingtoinvitemein?”
“It’sabitlateand ”
“It’stheweekend,Scott.Youhadagoodtime,didn’tyou?Itdoesn’thavetoend.”
Fudgingfudge sticks He was one ofthose guys who needed plainwords “Yeah, yousee, Curtis, the thingis thatIdidn’t havethatmuchofagoodtime.Ireallyappreciateyoupayingforthedinnerandeverything,butIdon’tbelievewe’reagood match”
“Notagoodmatch?You’reabottom,aren’tyou?”
“There’smuchmoretoarelationshipthanthat.”
“You’renotinterestedinarelationship?”Heshrugged “So?You’reabottom,andI’matop Idon’thavetospelloutforyou
whatgoeswhere.Imean,you’renotexactlymytypeeither,butI’mnotmakingafussaboutyourbracesandnotbeingallthatto lookat.”
Mymouthbobbedopen “What?”
“Yougotamirror,sweetheart.Youcan’taffordtopassupsomeonelikeme,sostopplayinghardtogetandletmein.” “Youshouldgo”Itookmykeysoutofmypocket Ihadnothinglefttosaytohim “NotevenakissafterIpaidforyourmeal?”
“AmealIdidn’tevenwant!”
“Theonlythingyougotgoingforyouisthatdollsizebodyofyours.Menlikeme thefuck!” Ispunaround,andthekeyshitthefloor.
“Griff?”
Lookinglike a god ofvengeance, Griffhad Curtis bythe collar, holdinghimhighenoughthatthe other man’s feetbarely touchedtheground
Whatwashedoinghere?
“Ibelieve he asked youto leave” Griff’s voice was a low growl thatshottingles throughmybody “Butbefore youdo, apologize.”
“Iwon’t.”
Aglintofsteel flashedinfrontofCurtis’s face Ihoppedawayfromthe door andgrabbedGriff’s shoulder “Griff,don’t He’snotworthit.”
“Iwon’tleavepermanentdamage”
“Still…”Ishiftedfromonefoottotheother.“Putitawaybeforesomeonegetshurt.”
GriffjerkedCurtiscloser.“Areyougoingtoapologizeorwhat?”
“Yeah,yeah,I’msorry,okay?”
“Nottome.Tohim.”
Curtis turned toward me, whichhad to have beenhard to do, givenGriffhad himina prettytighthold Curtis’s face was white,andhiseyesfilledwithfear.“I’msorry,Scott.Ishouldn’thavesaidthosethingstoyou.”
“Nowtellhimwhyyousaidthosethingstohim”
“What?”
Inearlyhadaheartattackfromwatchingtheinterplay.Curtislookedsoconfused,andGriffwassoserious,hisfacesetin stone.
“Tellhimyou’reanidiotbecauseonlyanidiotwouldhavesaidthosethingstohim.” “Yeah,yeah,I’manidiot That’swhyIsaidthosethingstoyou”
“Nowscram!”Griffshovedhimandletgo.Curtisstumbleddownthesteps,fallingflatonhisass.Hescrambledup,ranto hiscar,jumpedintoit,andsquealedoutofthedriveway “Ohmygod.”
“What?”Griffsheathedhisknifeandslippeditbackintothepocketofhisjacket. “Areyoucrazy?”Isqueaked “Youpulledaknifeonsomeone!” “Todefendyou.”
Aww, how sweet
Ishookmyhead. No!It was bad to pull knives on people. Very, very bad. “Ididn’taskyoutodothat” Griffsighed.“DoIneedtocoachyouinwhattosaytoo?” “What?”
“Thankyou That’swhatyou’resupposedtosaywhensomeonecomestoyourrescue” “Ihadithandled.”
GriffbentandscoopedupthekeysI’ddropped “Stilldroppingkeys,Isee”Hewalkedovertothedoorandunlockedit “Whatareyoudoing?Jay ”
“Lefthalfanhourago”
“Oh.”Ipushedmyhandsintomypockets.“Thenwhatareyoustilldoinghere?” “Iwantedtoseeyou.”Hewalkedintothehouseasifheownedit. “Griff,you’renotsupposedtobehere”Ifollowedhimandslammedthedoorshut “WhatifJaycomesback?” “I’llclimbthroughthewindow.”
“Wait!Justwaitaminute,Griff!”
Irushedafterhimand…careenedintohischestwhenheturnedsuddenly.Hetookmebytheshouldersandglaredatme. Whydidhelookmadatme?
“Waitforwhat,Scottie?”
Myface burned. Whydid Ilike it so muchwhenhe called me Scottie and not Scott like everyone else? Scottie was my
childhoodnicknamethatnoonecalledmeanymoreexceptJay.I’dmadeitclearthatI’doutgrownthenamesopeoplewould stoptreatingmelikeakidbecauseofmysize.CrazytothinkI’dnowlikeitwhensomeoneotherthanmybestfriendcalledme bythatname
“Iknowit’sbeenaweekandIpromisedtotalktoJay,but ” “Youthinkthat’swhyI’mupset?”
“Idon’tunderstand.”
“Firstyoukissmelikeyoumeanit,andthenyou’reoutonadatewithsomeotherguy” Oh.
Hewasjealous?Myheartskippedabeat,andsuddenlythehorriblenightwasn’tsobadanymore. Ismiled
“Imean,it’sbadenoughyoukissedhisdad.Doyoumakeitahabittocheatonhim?”
“What?”ThehighIwasfeelingevaporatedlikethepoppersmyexusedtoforcemetosniffwhenhewasgoingtoberough onme.Thehighneverlastedlongenough,andthencamethepain.
“I’mtalkingaboutyoucheatingonJay Who’sthatguyyouwerewithtonight?”
“Adate,but ”
“Doyouhaveanopenrelationship?Isthatit?”
“No,wedon’t Justletme ”
“Thenwhatthehellareyoudoing,Scottie?”
“I’dtellyouifyouletmefinishafreakingsentence!”
Theroomfellsilent.IglaredatGriff.Fiddlesticks.Hemademeshout.Ididn’tshout.Jaydidalltheshoutinginthishouse.I wasthequietone.
“I’mlistening,”hesaid.
Iremovedmyglassesandrubbedthemwiththehemofmyshirt,thensetthembackonmynose.“I’mnotinarelationship withJay Whatonearthgaveyouthatidea?We’rebestfriends brothers exceptnotreallybrothersbecauseyou’renotmy father. If you were, then what we did that night would have been…incestuous, but I guess we could be brothers fromhis mother’s ”
Griffgroaned.“Stayontrack,Scottie.”
“LikeIsaid,we’rejustfriends.” “Areyousure?”
Iplacedmyhandsonmyhipsandraisedmychin.“IthinkI’dknowifI’minarelationshipwithsomeone.”
“Butthethingsyousaid youalwaystalkedaboutJay”
“Ofcourse Idid, to give youinformationabouthim. Thatwas the purpose ofthose letters, wasn’tit? Imean, besides the weirdpartswhereIgottoocomfortabletalkingtoyouaboutcertainthings”
“Youalwayswentonabouthowmuchyoulovehim.”
“AndIdo!He’sfamilytome.”
“Andyou’venever ”
Ishookmyhead.“Goodgravyandbiscuits,ofcoursenot.Wemighthavefooledaroundforahotminute,butthatwasages agowhenJaywasquestioning He’snoteven mytype”
Jaywastoonice.Iseemedtohaveathingforbadguyswhothoughtnothingofpullingaknifeonsomeone.
“Youhaveatype?”
“Don’t we all?” I frowned, then gasped. “Wait a minute. You kissed me, even though you thought Jay and I were in a relationship?”
Color rushed to Griff’s face For once, I wasn’t the one lookinglike a boilinglobster “I didn’t sayI was proud of my actions.”
“WhatwouldJaysayifheknewyouwerekissingtheguyyouthoughtwashisboyfriend?”Icouldn’thelpmygrin “It’syourfault,”hegroaned.
“What?Howso?”
“You’renothinglikeIexpected,Scott.”
Mysmilefaded,andIdroppedmygaze.“Well,you’renotwhatIexpectedeither.Definitelynotfor youtopull aknifeon someone Doyouknowhowrecklessanddangerousthatwas?”Iraisedmyheadandnailedhimwithmyglare “Doyouwant togobacktoprison?Ithoughtyouwantedtostayoutsoyoucanhavearelationshipwithyourson.Prettysureanex-convict shouldn’tbecarryingaweapon”
“Youmeanyou’reworriedaboutme?”
“Pfft.”Iwiggledpasthim.“I’mworriedaboutJaynotgettingthechancetoreconcilewithhisfather.”
“AreyousureyouandJay ”
“Positive.”WhenIwalkedintothekitchen,hefollowedme.Itooktwobottlesofwateroutofthefridgeandhandedhimone.
Helookedlikehecoulduseit.“Whatwereyoudoingwatchingourhouse?” “Iwaswaitingforyou.”
“Why?”
“HaveyoutalkedtoJayyet?”
“Ihaven’thadthechance”MostlybecauseIwasacowardwhodidn’twanttolosehisbestfriend JaywastheonlypersonI hadinthisworld.
“Youhaven’thadthechance,oryouhavenointentionoftalkingtohim?”Griffguzzleddownthebottleofwater Istaredat hisAdam’sapplebobbingwitheachswallow.Mytonguewentdrydespitejusttakingasipofwater.Iwantedtolickhisneck andcoverhimwithhickeys.
“Maybe Icantryharder, butit’s difficulttellingsomeone youcare aboutthatyounotonlyviolated their privacybutalso broketheirtrust.”
“Scottie,yousaidyouwouldtalktohim” “AndIwill.”
“When?”
“Scott,youhome?”Thefrontdoorshut,andIfroze. Jaywashome.Ihadn’theardhiscarpullup.
“Answerhim,”Griffwhispered
“Yeah,yeah,Iam.”IrushedoutofthekitchentomeetJayinthehall.IhadtodistracthimlongenoughforGrifftogetout. “Howwasyourdate?”Jayhunghiscoatintothecloset Holycracker Howtopreventhimfromenteringthekitchen? “Itwashorrible.”
“Why?Didhetryanything?ItoldyouweshoulddoadoubledatesoIcancheckoutthisguy.”
“Youcan’tprotectmeallthetime,Jay.Ineedtogetbackoutthereonmyown.”
“Yeah,well,nexttime,meethimattherestaurantinsteadofgettingintosomejerk’scar.Okay?”
Hestartedpastmeforthekitchen,andIgrabbedhisarm “Wait!”
“What?”Hefrowned.“You’reactingweird.”
“Yeah,well,Ineedtotalktoyouaboutsomething,andit’simportant” “Justletmegrababeerfirst.”
“Thebeercanwait.”Ituggedonhisarmanddraggedhimwithmeintothelivingroom. Jaygroaned.“Scott,it’snotthesexstuffagain,isit?YouknowIdon’tmindifyou’regay,butIdon’twanttotalkaboutthe sexstuff.”
“It’snot”
Igesturedforhimtosit.Hetookaseatonthesofa,andIploppeddownnexttohim.
“What’sup?”
“I’vejustbeenthinking.”
“About?”
“Mydad”
“Yourdad?Why?Theassholeleftyouwhenyouwereababy.”
“Yeah,butIalwayswishedIgottoknowhim Hopingthatmaybeheregretsitanddoesn’tknowhowtofaceme MaybeifI findhim,wecanletbygonesbebygones.”
“You’regoingtotrytofindhim?”
“Yeah.”Iblinkedacoupleoftimes.Thewordshadcomefromanemptythoughttobringmypointacross,butnowthatIhad utteredthem,alongingopenedupinsidemetodojustthat.Iwantedtofindmyfatherandseewhatkindofmanhewas. Jayshookhishead “Whywouldyouwantthatloserinyourlife?Ifhedidn’twantyouasababy,whathewantsnowhardly matters.”
“Maybethecircumstancesweredifferentbackthen”
“Itdoesn’tmatterwhatkindofexcusehehad,Scott.Youdon’tjustleaveyourkid.Anyonewhodoesshouldn’texpectany formofrelationshipwiththeirchild”
“Butwhataboutyourfather?”Iasked.
Jay’sbodywentrigid.“Whatabouthim?”
“Don’tyouever,youknow ”
“No,Idon’tknow.Whatareyoubringinghimupfor?”
“Becauseatleastyouknow whereheis Youknow how toseehim I’dgiveanythingtoknow wheremybiological father is.”
Jayjumpedtohisfeet.“Whyareweeventalkingaboutthis?”
“Because…maybeit’stimetoseehim,Jay.”
“Youcan’tbeseriousrightnow.ItoldyouIneverwanttotalkabouthim.”
“Iknow,butwhatkindoffriendwouldIbeifIdon’tdowhatIthinkisbestforyou?”Istoodaswellandstaredhimdown, eventhoughIhadtolookupathim.
“Youthinkwhat’sbestformeistoformabondwithamurderer?”Jaythundered “Hekilledsomeone!”
Iswallowed hard. He was right. Notonlyhad Grifftakensomeone’s life, buthe had also held a knife atmydate’s throat tonight
Ohdarnit, was IwronginthinkingGriffhad changed? Thatthere had to be a good reasonhe had killed thatmanalmost twentyyearsago?
“Andhe’sdoinghistimeforit.”
“That’sforgivenessfromthestate,notfromme,andI’msurenotfromthefamilyofthevictimeither.”
“But ”
“Justdropit,Scott.”
“Hesendsyouletters,eventhoughyoudon’topenthem”Iputmyhandonhisarm “Jay,that’ssomeonewho’strying”
“He should have tried harder. He should have thoughtaboutthe kid he was leavingbehind witha lousymother before he killedthatman,buthedidn’tthinkofme,didhe?SowhythefuckshouldIbethinkingofhim?”
“Wemakemistakes,but ”
“Isaidtodropit!”Jayjerkedhisarmaway,raisinghishand.
“You’re just a waste of fucking space!”
Ijumpedback,liftingmyarmtoprotectmyface,trippedovermyownfeet,andwentdownhard.Myheartbeatfast,andI swallowedtherushofbilethatroseupinmythroat “Scott.”
Iglancedup.Jaydidn’tlookangryanymore,butconfusedandhurt. “I’msorry,”Iwhispered.
“It’sonethingtobringupmyfatherwhenyouknowthat’sahardlimitforme,buttoactlikeI’deverhurtyou...”Heshook hishead “Howcanyoueventhinkthat?”
“Jay,it’snot ”
Hestalkedoutofthelivingroom “ you.”
Thefrontdoorslammedshut.Iwincedandclosedmyeyes.Footstepsapproached.Iopenedthem,butmylasheswerewet, andIcouldn’tseeclearly.Islippedmyglassesoff,wipedmyeyeswiththebackofmyhand,andsettledthembackonmynose.
“Whathappened?”Griffplacedahandonmyshoulderandhelpedmeup.
Ishookmyhead,myinsidesfeelinghollow “It’snothing”
“Itcan’tbenothing.Jayseemedmoreupsetaboutthelastpartofthatargumentthanaboutme.” Iinhaleddeeplyandletoutthebreath “Didyouheareverything?” “Prettymuch.”
“Thenyouknow…”
“Hedoesn’twantanythingtodowithme” He sounded so defeated. Unlike the GriffI’d come to know over the years. Evenwhile locked up, his words had always soundedrobustandpositive “Ishouldgo,”hesaid.
“Wait,you’releaving?”
“Youheardhim.”
“He’sjuststillhurt.”
“Andifyoukeeppushing,youmayruinyourfriendshipwithhim Icanseebothofyouvaluethat”
“Wegoalongway.Hewouldn’tletsomethinglikethiscomebetweenus.”Atleast,Ihopednot.Itwouldsucknottohave Jayinmylifeanymore
“Youdidn’t sound so sure about that the last time we spoke.” He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “Just leave it alone,Scott You’vetried Ican’texpectanythingmorefromyou”
“Buthe ”
“Scottie.”Heraisedhishandandbrushedmycheekgently.“Thankyouforeverything.”
Myheartlurchedpainfully His handdroppedawayfrommycheek Whydidthis feel likegood-bye?WhatifInever saw himagain?
“Pleasedon’tgo”
By the time I’d found my voice, Griff was already gone. I sat heavily on the sofa, pulled my legs up to my chest, and wrappedmyarmsaroundthem.Thiscouldn’tbeall,couldit?Griffmighthavedonesomethingwrong,buthemeantwellbyhis son.Whyshouldn’ttheyhaveahappilyeverafter?
The man held a knife to someone.
Ashudderrippleddownmyspine.Veryfewpeopleinmylifehadevertriedprotectingmelikethat.Iowedhim.Iowedhim big-time.NotjustfortonightbutforallthoseyearsI’dwrittentohim.I’ddivulgedthoseinappropriatethingsbecausehewas theonlypersonIcouldhavetalkedtoaboutthem Jayneverwantedtodiscussintimacywithme,andwithGriffinprison,it hadfeltsafe.I’dneverexpectedhimtobereleasedandformywordstocomebackandhauntme. TheleastIcoulddowastrytorepairhisrelationshipwithhisson Withorwithouthishelp
Theloudringingofmycellphone,penetratingtheotherwisepeacefulnight,pulledmeoutofmysleepyhaze.Igroanedand tugged the pillow over my head. I couldn’t have fallen asleep for long. After waiting up for Jay to return home, I’d eventuallyclimbedintobedwhenhedidn’tshowup.ImighthavecriedabucketfulortwooftearsuntilIcouldbarelyopenmy eyesandmythroatwashoarse
Whointheever-lovingheckcouldbecallingmeatthishour?
Thesoundrangoff,andIsighed That’s much better.
Smiling,Icaughttheendoftheblanketandpulledithigherupmyshoulders.Thephonerangagain.
“Ugh,”Igruntedandswamacrosstheseaofblanketsandpillowstograbmyphonefromthenighttable
Please don’t let Jay be in trouble. Itwouldn’tbethefirsttimeI’dbailedhimoutinthemiddleofthenight Eyesstilltightlyshutagainsttheglareofthephone,I swipedthescreen.
“Hel-lo,”Isaidhoarsely “Ikissedawomantonight,”cameaslurredvoice.Icouldbarelymakeoutthewords. “Griff?”
“Shh,I’mnotfinished Shehadamazingtits”
Myeyesflewopen,andmyheartskippedabeat.Whatwashesaying?Whywouldhecallmetotellmethis?
“IthinkIshouldhangupnow”
“Don’tyouhanguponme,Scottie.It’sallyour” burp “fault.” “Myfault?”
“Yes.LikeIsaid,shehadamazingtits,buttheydidnothingforme.Whenshekissedme,Iwantedtothrowupmybeer,butI keptthinkingthatwouldbeawasteofgoodbeer,soIswalloweditdown.”
Igrimaced Washesayinghe’dswallowedhisvomit?Gross “Griff,nothingyou’resayingmakessense.Youshouldgotosleep.” “Onthesidewalk?”
“What?Whereareyou?”
“Sittingonthesidewalk,waitingforyoutopickmeup.”
“Pickyouup?”
“Yes,weren’tyoupayingattention,Scottie?”Hehuffedabreath.“You’retocomepickmeuprightnow.Iwanttoseeyou.” “Butit’slate ”
“I’llridemybike,then,so ”
“No!” Ishot up inbed and flungbackthe covers “Whatever youdo, do not get onthat bike, Griffin!” Ihopped around, spinningincircles.
What do I need? What do I need? Mykeys!Myglasses. Isnappedonthebedsidelampandscoopedupmyglasses,keys,andwalletfromthenighttable.
“WhenyoucallmeGriffin,itsoundslikeyou’regoingtopunishme.”Hegiggled.Griffactuallygiggled.Ohno,thiswasn’t good HemustbedrunkerthanI’dthought “ButIshouldpunishyouforlyingtome,Scottie Youliedtomeabouteverything” “IknowandI’msorry.”Ipushedmyfeetintomyslippersandrushedfromthebedroom.“Willyoupleasetellmewhereyou are?I’monmyway”
“I’mnotsure,”hesaid.
“Canyoushareyourlocationwithme?”
“Idon’tthinkIknowhowtodothat”
