Prologue
Coldandshivering,Iranthroughadark,frozentundraofwoods Snowkickedupbehindme,mypoundingfeetsinkinginto thepowderywhitedrifts.
Thump Thump Thump Myheartraced,beatingwildlyinmyears.
I’dbeenhaulingassthroughthetoweringevergreensformorethananhournow,andIwasn’tanyclosertolosingthebeast thathuntedme.Thewindwhippedthroughmyhair,blowingflurriesontomyalreadyicycheeks.
Survival pushed me farther and farther into the dense forest. Iwas unfamiliar withthis partofthe land, puttingme ata disadvantage,butIhadotherskillsthatgavemealeguponthehunter skillsthatallowedmetolive
Ashudderskippeddownmyspineasmyearspickedoutthewhizzingofanarrowcuttingthroughthetrees.Ifocusedonthe sound,dashingtomyleftbeforeitwouldhavestruckmeintheback Thetipsankintothebarkofatreetrunkwithadefinite thud.
Ididn’tknowhowhecontinuedgainingground.Heshouldn’thavebeen,notwithmyspeedandnotforthisduration,butI hadtodosomethingbeforethebastardgotwhathecamefor. Me.
Zigzaggingtoward the distantsmell ofwater, Iforced myfeetto keep goingdespite the burninginmylungs Mybreath cameoutinpuffsofchillycloudsthatdisappearedasIzoomedby.
Ihadnochoicebuttorun toleadhimaway
Themoon,regardlessofhowfull,offeredverylittlelight.Navigatingthroughthedarkwasawholeloteasierformethanit wouldbefortheassholestalkingme.Andyetheneverwavered.
Icaughta brieffamiliar scentas Icame closer to the frozenriver thatlooked like frosted glass woodsywitha hintof mint.Amorethanrecognizablecombination.Itwasapartofme.
No!Iscreamedinternally No!It can’t be him He should not be here But,ofcourse,hewas.
Astringofswearwordswentoffinmyhead,andIstumbledinthesnow,slightlyflusteredby his nearness Thestressand fearIfeltamplifiedamilliontimesasIreachedoutmysensestofindhim.
Agunshotrangoutovertheforest,scatteringaflockofbirdshiddeninthebranches.
Instincttookover Istoppedthinkingandjustacted,lungingthroughthefrostyair
Fur explodedover mybody,bonesandmusclestransforming.Ahowl leftmylipsasIthrew myheadback,cryingtothe moon
I’dneverbeenmoreterrifiedinmyfuckinglife.Notformyself forhim.
One
There was somethinguniversal about the wayall highschools smelled Mysenses were heightened due to beinga wolf shifter,andthestenchofself-loathing,boredom,anxiety,andarrogancepermeatedthehallsofRiverbridgeHigh.
Takethetwogirlshuddledinthecornerwhispering Atfirstglance,Icouldtelltheythoughttheyweretopshit,dressedin theirlittleplaidskirtsandcroppedtops,butmyinterestlayinwhattheyweresayingandwhomtheyweretalkingabout. Me.
Anotherperkofbeingasupernaturalshifter superiorhearing.
Ileanedashoulderontheconcreteblockwallandlistened,knowingIwoulddislikewhatIheard.SowhythefuckdidI torturemyself?
Theywerenothing.Justtwomidrankingwolves.
Thesweet-as-candystrawberryredheadtuggedoutatubeoflipglossfromherpocketandappliedittoheralreadyshiny peach-coloredlips.“Didyouseewhatshewaswearing?Wheredoessheshop?Thegarbagedump?Andthosecombatboots.” Thesnobbishredheadshuddered.“NofuckingwayisLiamevergoingtogiveherthelightofday.Sheistotaltrash.”
Oh, and let me guess… Liam is totally into redheads Itwouldexplainwhyhervoicesmackedwithjealousy.Ishookmy head.Thejokewasonher.Ididn’twantLiam.Andmyso-calledtrashyclotheswereallpartofmybrilliantplantomakesure hedidn’tlikewhathesaw
Ishouldhavebeenpleaseditwasworking,oratleastonthesetwo.
Herpartnerincrimedidn’thavethelegstheredheaddidortheheight Agoodfiveinchesshorterthanherfriend,shehada bitofleftoverbabyfatthatmadeherfaceroundandfull.Soft,wispybrownhairframedheraverageface.“Maybenot,butit’s notlikehehasachoice.Iactuallyfeelsorryfortheprince,”shesaidtotheredhead.
Isnorted HowsympatheticofthemtofeelsorryforLiamCastleandnotthenewgirlforcedtoattendthisshitholeschool andliveinaplacewheresheknewnoone.Oh,anddon’tforgetexpectedtomatewiththePrinceofWyoming’ssonwhenshe turnedeighteen Thesetwoneededtogetafuckingclue andsomebraincellsmighthelptoo
Myfistscurledatmysides,sharpnailsdiggingintomypalmasmyangerrose.IhadtobecarefulorI’dendupmakingan impressionablesceneonmyfirstday Nothinglikewolfingoutinthemiddleofthehallway “Didn’tLiam’sdadtellhimhehadtostopseeingyou?”thelittlemouseasked. MissGoodie-gumdropcurledhershininglips.“Yeah,butwhendoesLiameverdoashe’stold?”
Theairheadsgiggled
Iwantedtoslamtheirprettyfacesintothelockers.Theywouldn’tbegigglingthen.
Ihadatemper
Sure, Itended to be reckless, fearless, and wild. Qualities that were
control
IwasstillworkingontheC-word.
NotthatIwouldeverbeanalpha Iwasbetrothedtooneinstead
And it seemed myfiancé had a girlfriend. Not the best wayto start out our buddingrelationship. The entire reasonI’d switchedschoolshadbeentogettoknowmyfuturemate
Fuck that.
Fuck him
Fuck the treaty.
ExceptIcoulddononeofthosethings.
Ifitwerejustme,Iwouldn’thaveblinkedtwiceaboutbreakingoffthisarchaicpromisebetweenpacks Butitwasn’tjust me. Two wolf packs depended on Liam and me joining our families. Not to mention, the fucking king of wolves himself sanctionedourimpendingjoining
Butapparently,Liameitherhadn’tgottenthemessagethathisfutureintendedhadarrivedorhedidn’tgiveashitaboutme. Obviously,hehadn’tspentalltheseyearswaitingaroundformeifhehadagirlfriend
Iwasn’tjealousthathewasseeingsomeone.ThatwaswhatItoldmyself,butIhadnorighttobe.InHotSprings,I’ddated someone, too, but Huntley and I had both known it would never go anywhere. It had been an experience, something fun, someonetogotodanceswith,topracticekissing,andnotmissoutonthewholehighschooldatingthing,butthatwasallithad been.
I hadn’t been in love withHuntley Not that I didn’t tryto have feelings for himmore thanfriendship One thingI had learnedfromdatingHuntley feelingscouldn’tbeforcedorfaked.Theyjustwere.
Whenitcametomybetrothal,Ihadfeelingsallright.Feelingsofhatred.
I’d heard enoughfromLiam’s girlfriend. Itwas obvious Iwasn’tgoingto winanypopularitycontests duringmysenior year.Timetoscratchoffhomecomingqueenfrommybucketlist.
Sighing,Ishuffledaroundthecorner,huggingmyhistorytextbooktomychestasItriedtonotletthosetwobimbosgetto me.
Beingthenewgirlsucked
A quarter of the kids in this school were wolves, like me, and part of the Riverbridge pack. As the daughter of the borderingpack, Iwas anoutsider;however, once Imated LiamCastle, Iwould be notonlya member ofthe packbuttheir futurebaroness sortofthefemalealpha.Iwouldholdthesecond-highestpositioninthepack,somethingI’dbeentrainingfor sincebirth.
Shakingmyhead,Ispunaroundtofindmynextclassbeforethebellrangandsmackedintosomedoofuswhohadn’tbeen payingattention.Imighthavebeenguiltyofthesamethingmyself,butIhadanexcuse.Iwasthenewgirl.
“Whoa,heythere What’sthehurry?”Twostronghandsreachedouttomyshoulders,stoppingusfrombumpingnoses The deepvoiceflirtedalongthelineofplayfulness.
Iglancedupfromundermylashesintoastrikinglyfamiliarandfartoohandsomeface.Aneasygoingsmilespreadoverhis fulllipsasaquaeyessparkledwithhumor Iclearedmythroat “Sorry,Iwastryingtofigureoutwhere ”Iskimmedoverthe printoutofmyclassscheduleclaspedinmyhand. Who the hell still uses paper? What a waste. “ roomD11is.”
Hislipsmovedintoacrookedgrin,ahandrunningthroughlightbrownhair “Kelsey,right?”
Inodded,nibblingonmylower lip,andtiltedmyhead.Thefamiliaritytriggeredinmymemorycontinuedtolinger.Was thisLiam?Wasthatwhyheseemedsofamiliar?DidIrecognizehisscent?Itcouldn’tbe Somethingwasoff Ihadexpected Liamtobetallerwithmoreofanalphapresence.Thiswolfreekedbeta,andhewasdefinitelyawolf that Icouldsmell.“Do Iknowyou?”
Hisgrinwidened,eyestwinklingmischievously “Youshould I’myourfuturebrother-in-law It’sbeenawhile,Kels”
Ireleasedagushofair.Itwasn’t him.“Leith?”Iguesseddisbelievingly.LeithwasLiam’syoungerbrotherbyayear.I’d onlymetLiamandLeithonceinmylife,attheageofsixwhenmyparentsbroughtmetoaregionalpackmeeting They’dbeen therewiththeirparents.
I’dbeenexcitedtomeetthismysteriousboyIwouldbespendingmylifewith Hehadn’tbeenasintimidatingasimagined atthatyoungage,butIrememberedthinking, Does he never smile? IalsorecalledthatLeithhadbeenthepolaroppositeofhis serious,stone-facedbrother.
Leithwasfunny,impish,andwarm,andwhenthedayhadended,IhadwisheditwasLeithI’dbeenpromised,notLiam SeeingLiamthatdayhadcrushedthosestarry-eyeddreamsofhavingamate,andasIgrew,theyturnedintocoldresentmentat notbeingabletofindlovenaturally Ourbondwasforced,apoliticalmaneuver Iknewitsimportanceaswellastheposition ofmybirth,yetitdidn’tmakeitanyeasieronmyheart.
AsIcontinuedgapingatLeith,atingleofelectricitysuddenlychargedtheairaroundmyskin,causingthehairsonmyarms tostandup.
How odd. I shouldn’t have any reaction to Leith.
Justasthethoughtpassedthroughmymind,anotherbodycamebarrelingaroundthecorner,drawingmygazeforamoment. Taller thanLeithbytwoinches,thisshifter haddarkbrownhair withhintsofsun-kissedblondstreaks.Itwasshavedonthe sidesbutlongerdownthemiddleandcurledattheends UnlikeLeith’scarefreeposture,thisguyhadthedominatingforceof analpha.
Hiseyeslandedonme,andafiercescowlmarredhislips,deepeningthedimplesthatframedbothsidesofhisfullmouth Thatglowerreachedhiseyes,thesamestunningcolorashisyoungerbrother,butlackedtheglimmeroffun.
Therewasnomistaking ThiswasLiamCastle
AndthatdamnelectriccurrentI’dfeltsecondsagoampeduptooverdrive.Itfuckinghummedinmyears,pissingmeoff.I didnotwanttofeelanythingforLiamexceptcontempt.
Hehadchangedalotovertheyears Nolongeralittleboy Hischeekbonesweresharp,lipsfullwithaslightscaronthe middleofthebottomone,andajawsosharpitcouldcutdiamonds.Hehadfilledout,hisbodynothingbutleanmuscle.Hehad anintensityabouthimthatonlyaddedtothestrikingnessofhisfeatures
InarrowedmyeyesathimasIfoldedmyarms,waitingforhimtosaysomethingtome.
Itwas Leithwho broke the silence betweenus “Lookwho Iraninto, bro” He puthis elbow onhis brother’s shoulder “Your future wife. I almost didn’t recognize her. It was the scent. She smells exactlyhow I remember vanilla and cotton candy.”
What the fuck? I did not smell like cotton candy Liam’sglaredarkenedbeforeflickeringfrommyeyestomyblacklipsandmovingfartherdownuntilhisgazehadcovered everyinchofme,frommygothT-shirttotatteredblackjeansandcombatboots
Thiswasn’tmynormalattire,butIhadcomeupwithabrilliantplantodoeverythinginmypowertoturnLiamoff.Itwasa longshotandafoolishidea,thoughtupbymybestfriendandmeinadesperateattempttokeepmefromtyingtheknotwith him.
Iknewwhatwasexpectedofme,butthatdidn’tmeanIwasgoingdownwithoutafight.Ihadthiswholeotherlife,areally, reallygreatlifethatIhadtoleavebehind TosayIwas bitter was theunderstatementoftheyear IwantedtomakeLiamas miserableasIfeltaboutbeinginaplacewherepeopleonlyknewmeashismate.
Looked like he was about as happy to see me as I was him This should be interesting I hoped he was up for some entertainingmonthsgettingtoknow the new me.Heck,Iwasstill gettingtoknow thenew me.Shewasn’texactlysomeoneI wouldhavebeenfriendswith.Thegoalwastomakehimhateme,despiseme,andfindmethemostunattractivefemaleonthe planet.
Ihadnoideaifitwasworking.
Liam’s perusal had beenunsettling, to saythe least Somethingabouthis eyes did messed-up things to mybelly Ididn’t wanttoadmitwhatthatmightbe.
Whenourgazescollidedthistime,itwasasiftheworldstoppedspinning Fuckingcliché,butIdidn’tknowhowelseto explainit.Ifelttrappedbyhisstare,bythemagnetismofhim.
Butthatwasn’tall. Somethinghappened inside me. Iwas filled withthis all-encompassingpower. Itsurged throughmy body,pumpingmefullofenergyandcausingthehairsonmyarmtostandup
“Um,hello,wolfeyes.Notatschool,”Leithmurmurednearmyear,butmybrainwashavingtroubleprocessingwhathe’d said Wolf eyes?
Ihadtostopstaring,butIcouldn’ttearmygazefromLiam’s,despitewantingto ThiswasthefirsttimeI’dlaideyeson himsincethethirdgrade.
Damn,hadhechanged.
Ikind ofwished he hadn’t Whycouldn’the have stayed lankyinstead offillingout? Where was the teenage acne? Why washisskinsofuckingflawlessandtan?Andthoseeyes.Forgetaboutit.Brightandglowinglikeacrystal.
Holy crap
His eyes are glowing. His wolf eyes.
It was then I realized what Leithhad beentrying to tell me Our eyes had changed, something that happened when we shifted.I’dbeenawolfmywholelifeandhadonlylostmycontrolinschooloncewhenJamieLancerhadpulledmypigtails andcalledmeanelfinthesecondgradebecausemyearswerepointy.Theywere,infact,notpointy.
“Liam,”Leithhissedalllowandrumbly
Blinkingbackthewolf,Ischooledmyexpressiontohideanyemotionfromcrossingmyface.LiamCastledidnotneedto seethegnawinganxietyhecausedinsideme
It is anxiety. Or disgust. Definitely more like disgust. Acoldexpressionstoleoverhisfeatures.
Itookaninvoluntarystepback,mycheekswarming.Ididn’tneedamirrortoknowtheyhadpinkened.
What the hell was that?
“Whydon’tyoudousbothafavor,andstayoutofmyway,”Liamsaidicily.Thenthebastardbrushedpastmewithouta secondglance.
Iswallowedhardtogathermycomposureandridmybodyofthetinglingthatwouldn’tgoaway Itdidn’twork.
“Asshole,” Imuttered under mybreath Wolves mated for life There was no wayinsevenhells Icould mate and bind myselftohimforever.
LeithwaiteduntilLiamwasgonebeforehereplied,“Hehashismoments” Ihadforgottenhewasstillhere.
MyeyesnarrowedtoslitsasIclutchedthestraponmybag.“Oh,he’shavingamomentalready.Anotheronelikethatand mybootisgoingtofinditswaysofaruphistightass”
Leiththrewbackhisheadandlaughed.Itwaswarmandrich,sooppositefromwhatIexpectedLiam’stosoundlike.Ifhe laughedatall Leithdrapedanarmaroundmyshoulders,leadingmedownthehall “IknewIwasgoingtolikeyou,Kels And don’tthinkyou’refoolinganyoneinthatgetup.Nomatterhowmuchmakeupyouschleponyourface,sis,you’restillhot.”
“Thankyou,Ithink,”Igrumbled,unhappytohearthatmymakeupwasn’tadeterrent Iwasn’tconceited,butIalsoknewI hadwhatpeopletermednaturalbeauty.Onnormaldays,Irarelyworemakeup,justabitofmascaratobrightenmyeyes.“And I’mnotyoursister.Notyet,anyway.”
IfIrememberedcorrectly,LeithwasayearyoungerthanLiamandme,makinghimatleastsixteen
Hegavemyneckasqueeze,armstillaroundmyshoulders.“Comeon,I’llwalkyoutoclass.Wouldn’twanttochanceany morerun-inswiththe asshole ”
Mylipstwitched.Now,whycouldn’tIhavebeenbetrothedtoLeith?Atleasthecouldmakemelaugh.“AndI’llhaveyou know,I’mnottryingtofoolanyone.”ExceptforLiam.ButIkeptthatparttomyself. “Uh-huh.Ifyousayso,”hesaid,totallynotbuyingmyexcuse.
IglancedsidelongatLeith,wantingtoseehisexpression.“ItakeitLiamisn’tkeenaboutoursituation?”
The corners ofhis mouthlifted, revealinga single dimple onhis rightcheekwhereas Liamhad themonboth “That’s a politewayofputtingit.He’sonlythinkingabouthimselfatthemoment.Liamwasneveronetobepushedintoanything goes withthealphapersonality,I’msureyouunderstand Givehimtime,andhe’llseeyou’rejustavictiminthesamegame Right now,heseesyouasanobstaclestandinginhisway.”
Weturnedacorner,maneuveringaroundcrowdsandmovingwiththeflowofstudents. “AndifIwasn’tstandinginhisway?”Iinquired. Leithshrugged. “Neither of youreallyhas a choice, do you? Two packs are dependingonthis union, so whydwell on somethingyoucan’tchange?Whynotmakethebestofthesituationandgettoknoweachother?Liammightsurpriseyou”
Asnortbreezedthroughmynostrils.“Gah.Yousoundlikemymom.”
Hegrinned “Ialwayslikedher Smartlady”
Irolledmyeyes.ThiswholetreatybetweenourpacksstartedbecauseofmymotherandLiam’sfather.Theywerereallyto blame.Ionlyknewmymother’ssideofthestory,butshehadrunawayforareason,andnowLiamandIwerepayingtheprice forourparents’choices Whatutterbullshitwasthat?Iwasafirmbelieverinonemakinghisorherowndestiny Leithwalked me to mymathclass and winked as he left, leavingme to the wolves. Literally. Liam’s girlfriend and her mouseyfriend were inmyclass Theyeyed me as Istrode inside, makingmywayto the backofthe room, where Ihoped I couldjustfuckingdisappear.
Theyweren’ttheonlyshifters Mysensespickedupatleasttwoothers,male Theclassroomchatterdied,alleyesonme Ilovedbeingondisplay.
Duetotheclose-knitpackcommunity,everyoneatschoolknewwhoIwasandofmyarrival.
Riverbridgewasn’taparticularlybigtown Mostofthepeoplelivinginthesecluded,mountainoushighlandswerepartof the wolf pack. And those who didn’t grow up hearing about the unusual happenings. Riverbridge had a reputation among outsiders,whichdidtwothings:keptthemawayordrewincurioustourists Liam’sgirlfriendwrinkledhernoseasIbrushedpasther.“God,itsmellslikedogshitinhere,”shesaid,makingsurethe classheard
Herfriendgiggledatthedeskbehindher.
Ihaltedandslowlyturned,slammingmypalmsdownonherdeskandsniffingtheairaroundher.“You’reright.I’dcheck yourprettyheels”Iloweredmyvoiceforherearsonlyorwolfears “Smellslikeamidwolftome”
Thesmuggrinfaltered,hergreeneyessharpening.“I’dbecarefulwhoyourubthewrongway.Youwouldn’twanttomake enemiesyourfirstday”
“Toolate.”ThisgirlwasgoingtobeaproblemIdidn’tneed.Ihadenoughshitwithoutaddingajealousgirlfriendtothe mix.
“WhenLiamhearsaboutthis ”
Angerflashedthroughmeatthementionofhisname.“Tellhim,”Ispatinachallenge.“You’dbedoingmeafavor.”
IfIhadn’thadeveryone’sattentionbefore,Isureasshitdidnow.
Determinedtonotletthemsee the nerves thatactuallyflutteredinside me,Iliftedmychin,removingmyhands fromher desk Someoneawkwardlyclearedtheirthroat,andafewothersshiftedintheirseat,butmostofthemavertedtheirgazesasI continueddowntherowtoanemptychairandploppeddown.
Ihadn’tcomeheretomakefriends,andfromthewaythingsweregoing,itlookedtobeaverylonelyschoolyear Sinking lowerinmyseat,IthoughtabouttheschoolandfriendsI’dleftbehind,wonderingiftheymissedmehalfasmuchasIdidthem.
Forthenextforty-fiveminutes,Ididn’thearasinglewordtheteachersaidduringclass,myheadtoofullofthoughts They werelikeakaleidoscope,swirlingaroundinsidemyhead.Ihadtosticktotheplan.Theonlywaythisengagementendedwas ifLiamrefusedtohonorhisduty,andtogethimtodothat,Ineededhimtohateme.Thekindofhatethatwouldforcehimto banishmefromRiverbridge
Buttodothat,IhadtointeractwithLiam,whichIsowasn’treadytodo.NotuntilIlearnedmoreabouthisfriends,family, andthewolfhimself Fornow,IwouldstayasfarawayfromLiamCastleaspossible Hecouldtakehisfuck-youattitudeand kissmyasswithit.
Asfirstdayswent,thisonewaskindofrotten,butalotcouldhappeninninemonths Shitcouldalwaysgetworse
Two
Gravel crunched under myToyota RAV4’s tires as Ipulled into the driveway Mynana lived ina remote area Her ranch housesatsurroundedbythetallestevergreensI’deverseen,ormaybeitwasjustthepitchofthelandthatmadethemseem largerthanlife Goldenmapleswarmedthefrontofherhouse,remindingmethatfallwassweepinginquickly ForthemiddleofOctober,theweatherwasbeautiful,aperfecttempwithacoolbreeze.Ilovedautumn thecozyvibe,the shiftintheair,thesmellofbonfires,simmeringapples,andpumpkinfuckingeverything.Itwasmyfavoriteseason,andwhileI mightnotwantto be here inRiverbridge, Ilooked forward to curlingup witha mugofNana’s pumpkinlatte infrontofthe stonefireplacemygrandfatherhadbuilt.Shehadthisroomwithfloor-to-ceilingmahoganybookshelvesstuffedwithbooks.I couldsitinthewindowseatthatoverlookedthewoods,listeningtothefirecrackleasIreadforhours
TheworldceasedtoexistinthosestolenhoursatNana’sthatnevercameenough.Theyweremymosttreasuredmemories ofthefewtimesIvisited
Nanawasn’tlikeanyothergrandma,atleastnoneIknewof.Shedidn’thaveastrandofgrayhaironherhead,justflowing longlocksofobsidianhairlikemine.
Wealsosharedthesamevioleteyes,atraitonlythefemalesinourfamilyseemedtoreceive.
Shewasastrongwomanwhorefusedtoleaveherhomeaftermygrandfatherpassedaway,despitemymother’spleasfor hertocomestaywithus ArespectedelderoftheRiverbridgepack,NanastillservedontheNorthwestRegionalCouncil Isatinmycar for another moment,staringatthe cedar home withits stone pillars flankingthe frontdoor.Smoke curled fromthe chimney,andthe firstreal smile ofthe daytuggedonmylips,knowingshe was inside concoctingsomethinginher kitchen.Ineverknewifwhatsimmeredonthestoveorbakedintheovenwouldbeedibleoraremedy. Shedabbledinboth.
Gatheringmystufffromthepassengerseat,Iturnedoffthecarandhoppedout Thewolfinsidemeyawnedawake,sensing home.NotthekindofhomeHotSpringsgavemebutstillfamiliarandsafe.HereIdidn’thavetopretendtobeanythingother thanme
Iduckedunderalow-hangingwillowtreebranchandclimbedthethreestepsontotheporch.Smiling,ImetNana’seyesas Ileanedagainstthecolumn “Hey,Nana”
Shesatonthedistressedwoodenswingattheendoftheporch,thefabricofherwhitedressdancingatherbarefeet,acold glassofherbalteashe’dbrewedfromhergardencuppedbetweenherslimfingers.Thesunsetbehindher,castingtheskyin thecolorsofautumn “Howwasyourfirstday,Kelseydear?”sheasked,offeringmeagenuinesmile “Dreadful,”Iadmitted,lettingmywholebodysinkagainstthestones.
Her knowinglipscurved Shehadn’tbattedaneyethismorningwhenshesaw theout-of-character wayIhaddressed A glinthadtwinkledinthecenterofhereyesasifsheknewwhatgameIplayed.Sheprobablydid,consideringknowingwasher
gift Thatsamesparkleappearednow “Whydon’twegrabyouaglassoftea,andthenyoucantellmeallaboutthisdreadful day.”
Nothingsoundedbetter
Ifollowedher insidethehouse.Darkhair hungloosedownher back,silkyandstraight.Thescreendoor clunkedbehind me,andmynoseimmediatelypickeduptracesofbrownsugarandhoneyperfumingtherooms
“After we finish our tea and chat, we’ll have facials before dinner. Exfoliate all those negative energies,” she said, strollingintothehall
“Is that what you’ve been doing in the kitchen?” I asked, plunking my bag down in the entryway and padding into the kitchenatthebackofthehouse.
Nana wenttothe fridge,pullingoutthe freshlybrewedpitcher oficedtea Lemonslices andmintleaves floatedontop Each of her fingers was adorned with rings, and the metal clanged against the pitcher. “Hmm,” she said in confirmation. “Restockingasugarscrub”
Nanasoldherhomeremediestolocalshopsintown.Notbecausesheneededtomakemoneybuttooccupyhertime.She trulyloved nature and usingwhatwe had fromthe earthto create Mygrandfather, who died before Iwas born, leftNana a lofty sumof money for her to live from. I sometimes wondered if she saw his impending death. Everything I knew of my grandfather came fromstories Iheard fromother people, but he seemed like the kind ofmanwho would ensure his wife’s future
Igrabbedatallclearglassfromthecupboardandfilleditwithice,noticingthelittleglassjarsliningthecounter.
Shepouredtheteaandsatdownonabarstool,waitingformetotaketheemptyonebesideher Shebracedherchinonher hand,studyingme.Thebraceletsonherwristchimedastheyrolleddownherarm.“Didyougivethemhell?”
Igrinnedandtookaswigofmycolddrink.“Whendon’tI?”Shewastheeasiestpersontotalktobesidesmybestfriend, Tess,whoalsowaswaitingtofindouthowmydaywent.
Nanagaveathroatylaugh.“That’smygirl.Seriously,though,wasitallbad?Didyoumakeanyfriends?”
MyeyesrolledasIsnorted “It’shardtomakefriendswhenmostofthegirlsalreadyhateyou”Abigpartoftheir lessthan-friendlywelcomingstemmedfromjealousy.Notjustbecause Iwas promisedtothe nextgenerationalpha butbecause I was also an outsider, a wolf fromanother pack Some traditions and beliefs within the shifter community were still very archaic.
“Whatabouttheguys?”sheasked.KnowingNana,therewasanunderlyingquestionthatshewasedgingaroundto. Leith’sfacepoppedintomymind.He’dbeentheonlyonewhohadn’ttreatedmelikeapariah.Leithhadbeenwarm,fun, andlighthearted.Ahintofasmiletouchedmylips,whichdidn’tescapeNana’swatchfuleye.
“Youdidmakeafriend Who?Givemedetails,”shepushed “Whatdetails?”Ipretendedtonotknowwhatshewastalkingabout,thatIhadn’tbeenthinkingofanyone. “Didyouseeacertainboy?”
Ihadn’twantedtothinkofLiam,ofseeinghimforthefirsttimeaftersomanyyears,butherquestiondidjustasshewanted itto broughtmebacktothemoment,toemotionsIwasn’treadytodealwith.No,itwasbesttopretendLiamCastledidn’t exist foralittlelonger,atleast IneededtogetmybearingsfirstbeforeIdealtwiththeheirprincehead-on
Butthatdidn’tmeanIcouldn’thavealittlefunwithNana.Shewastoofuntotease.HowsadwasitthatthehappiestI’d beenalldaywasrighthere,rightnow,withher?“Isawlotsofboys Nothingspecial,”Irepliedwithacarelessshrug “Isthatwhyyourcheeksareflushed?”
Itookasipofmytea “It’shotoutside”
Shelaughed,andthesoundechoedoverthekitchen.“Washethatbad?”
“LiamCastle’sajerk.IfIseehimintheparkinglottomorrow,I’mgoingtorunhimover.” “Oh,Kelsey”Shegrinned,chuckling “I’msogladyou’rehere”
WechattedforalittlebitlongerbeforeIexcusedmyselftogetstartedonhomeworkIneededtocatchupon.Transferring inthemiddleofasemestercamewithitsownsetofproblems
Tossingmyhairupintoamessybun,Iwentdirectlytomyroomonthewestsideofthehouse.Nana’sbedroomwasonthe oppositeend Myroomcamewithabathroomandaprivatescreened-inporchthatledouttothewoodedbackyard
Creamcoatedthewalls,andalargespindle-framedbedinthatsamewarm,neutralcolorsatinthecenteroftheroom.A largepicturewindowoverlookedtheexpansiveview.Nestledunderneaththewindowwasabenchwithahandfulofpillows, flankedbytwobuilt-inshelves,onewithadeskandtheotherfullofbooksandknickknacks Arichwoodcoveredthefloors thatfeltbutterysmoothundermysock-coveredfeet.Everythingaboutthespacewhisperedinvitingand…wassome.Icould seethatNanaputthoughtintoeverydetail,fromthetexturedbeddingtothesoftrugunderthebed
More spacious thanmyroomat home, except here there was no annoyinglittle brother knockingonmydoor everyten seconds.Andstill,ImissedBlake.Elevenyearsyoungerthanme,mybrotherwasascuteashewasannoying.
But I couldn’t denythat I found a sense of peace here that Hot Springs lacked. Maybe I needed a bit of solitude and a changeofscenerytogetmyheadstraight.Whilemostofthekidsinmygradewerefiguringoutwhatcollegetoattendorwhat
theirmajorshouldbe,Iwasplottinghowtoendanengagement.
Itwasn’tthatIloathedLiam.Ididn’tknowhim.Itwaswhatherepresentedandthelackofchoiceinthematterthatpissed me off He could have beenthe Brad Pittofwolfshifters and Istill wouldn’thave beenthrilled Mywants and needs were neverconsidered.Well,notinthewayIwouldprefer.IwassureatthetimemyparentssignedthetreatywiththeCastles,they believedthiswasahighhonorfortheirdaughter Andintheshifterworld,itwas,butIdidn’twanttobethewifeofanalpha Hell,Ididn’tknowifIwantedtobeawifeatall.Iwas onlyseventeen.
Notthatourparentsexpectedustogetmarriedthemomentweturnedeighteen Thetreatystatedthattheheirprincewould claimmeashismateateighteenandviceversa,butwewouldn’ttakeourvowsuntilagetwenty-five,aftercollege.
TobebondedtoLiamCastleforallofcollegesoundedlikeaprisonsentence.Ididn’twanttoknowandfeeleverythinghe did
MyheartgrewheavyasIcollapsedontotheneatlymadebed.Oneofthedecorativepillowsfellforward,landingpartially onmyface Ileftitthere,toozonedouttogiveashit
What am I going to do?
Mybackupplanneededabackupplan Ofcourse,Ineededastrategytobeginwith
MakingLiamdespisemewasn’tall thatsolidofagameplan.Ineededsomething…somethinghecouldn’tignore…
Likedatinghisbrotherorhisbestfriend.
Betteryet,both
Myphonebuzzedonthebed,thescreenflashingagoofypictureofTessthatIhadtakenafewmonthsagoatthepark.Tess wasn’tjustmybestfriend,shewasfamilytome,andImissedherterribly,especiallyaftertoday
TessBakkerandIhadbeenfriendssincewewerebabies.ShewasamemberoftheHotSpringspack.Thatwasthething aboutbeinginawolfpack ourcommunitywasclose-knit,andTessandIhadalwaysbeenthereforeachother.
Thiswasthefirsttimewe’dbetrulyapart,andsoonwewouldn’tevenbeinthesamepack.
“Hey,”Isaidasherfacecameintofocusonthescreen.Videochatmadebeingseparatedslightlybearable.
Tess lounged inher bedroom The lightlavender walls popped againsther darkbrownhair and mocha complexion She hadnaturallycurlyhair,whichIwasinsanelyjealousof.“So,areyoupregnantyet?”
IfIhadbeeninherroom,Iwouldhavethrownsomethingather
Stretchingoutonthebed,Ilayflatonmystomach,proppingmyphoneuponapillow.“I’mnotlettingLiamanywherenear mybabymaker.”
Tessgiggled,herhazeleyestwinkling.“Ishehotorwhat?Anddon’tlietome.I’llknow.” Irolledmyeyes.“Iguessifyou’reintoasshats.”
“Typicalalpha,huh?”sheguessed,scrunchinghercute,perkynose
“Bingo.”Ioverexaggeratedtheword.“Andhehasagirlfriend.Canyoubelieveit?Prettysureshewantstoclawmyface off”Disgustdrippedfrommyvoice
WasithypocriticaltobeupsethehadagirlfriendwhenIhadaboyfriendathome? Yes.
DidIgiveashitaboutbeingreasonable? No.
Iwasn’twavingHuntleyunder Liam’s nose He probablydidn’tevenknow aboutHuntley, and I’d rather notgetmyex involved.Huntleywastoogoodofaguytobedraggedthroughthemud.
Tesssighed,droppingherheaddownonherbed “God,mylifeissodullnexttoyours”Hervoicecameoutmuffled “Wanttoswitchplaces?”Iaskedhopefully.IftherewasaspellthatwouldallowTessandmetoswitchbodies,Iwasthere forit.Atleastshehadthefreedomtopickwhoshewantedtodate.
Tess suddenlyperked up, liftingher head “Ifitgets me analpha, thenhells yes,” she replied withouthesitationand too muchenthusiasm.
Igroaned “Youneedtherapy”
Shesmiledprettilythroughthephone.“Whodoesn’t?Besides,youstillloveme.”
OnlyTesscouldcheermeupwhenIwasfeelinglow “Ido How’severyone?”Iasked,hungryforanyinformationabout homeandneedingtofeelsomesortofconnectionwiththelifeI’dleftbehind.
Flippingaroundonherbedsoshesatup,Tesschewedonherlongpinknails,ahabitshecouldn’tkick.“Youmean,how’s Huntley?Piningforyou It’spathetic andcute”Herlipsformedaseriousline “It’snotthesamewithoutyou” Ididn’twanttolosethisshort-livedsliceofhappiness.“Ditto.”
Shakingherhead,Tesswipedathereyesbeforethetearswellinginthemfell Ifshestartedcrying,Iwouldloseit Intrue Tessfashion,shepulledhershittogether,flippingemotionslikeMcDonald’sflippedburgers.“How’stheelder?” ThatwaswhatNanawas,anelder.“Coolerthanmyparents.”
“Doyouthinkshewouldhelpyouifyoutoldherhowyoufeel?”
Thethingwas,Idid,butsinceshehadinfluencenotjustwithinthepackbutonthecouncilaswell,Ididn’twanttoputher
inthatposition.ThiswassomethingIhadtofigureoutonmyownwithouttanglingNanaup.“Idon’twanttoinvolveher.” “HowdidIknowyouwouldsaythat?Itdoesn’thurttoaskforhelp.”
“Ifitcomesdowntoit,I’lltellher,butonlyasalastresort Happynow?”
“Notreally,butI’mgoingtoholdyoutoit.Ifyouwon’ttellher,thenIwill.”Tessdidn’tdishoutthreatsshedidn’tmeanto followthroughon “Fine,”Isighed.“ButIgetuntil atleastmyeighteenthbirthday.”Liam’s was attheendofOctober,afew months before mine
“So,youreallydidn’twanttoimmediatelyjumphisbones?” “Tess!”Ishrieked.“Itdoesn’tmatterhowattractiveLiamis.Itdoesn’tchangeanything.” Shetappedonthephonescreen “Wakeup,Kels ThisisLiamCastle” “Whocares?”Igrumbled,pickingataloosethreadonthebedding.
“Everygirlwithapulse,”shestated Liam’spopularityamongshiftersonlyaddedtothereasonsweweren’tsuitable.“Ihatemylife.” KnowingIwasn’tserious,Tesslaughedsoftlyunderherbreath “Lovethenewlook,bytheway IwishIwastheretosee youmakeLiamCastlemiserable.”
“Metoo,”Imuttered.“Metoo.”
Three
I
wasstill waitingforthatmomentwhenIfirstwokeupanditdidn’ttakemeasecondortwotorememberwherethehell I was.Thismorningturnedouttobenodifferent.TheonlythingIfoundcomfortingthroughoutthenightwasthefamiliarhowls thatechoedinthewoods Theyhelpedmefallasleep
Lastnighthadbeenrough.SeeingLiam,evenfor thatshortperiodoftime,hadunsettledme.Iwas someonewhovalued sleep.AllthetossingandturninglastnighttookhoursawaythatIdesperatelyneeded.JustonemorethingIcouldblameLiam for.
WhenIarrivedatschoolbitchyandreadytoripoffheads,itwouldbehisfault.
Just two more days
ThatwashowlongIhaduntiltheweekend whenIwasfreeofthedisguise,ofthemurmurs,ofbeingsomeoneIwasn’t. Fortwodaysontheweekend,Icouldmyself Noonewatchingme Noonejudgingme Noonehatingmesolelybecauseofa decisionIhadn’tmade.NoLiam.
Theweekendswerejustforme.
AndIcouldn’tfuckingwait.
Draggingmyassoutofbed,Iquicklygotreadyforschool,brushingmyteeth,goingtothebathroom,andfixingmymessy hair Idressedinapairofjeansandateewiththeword tragic scrolledoverthefront Thewholeensemblewasblack,ashade damn close to my natural hair color. Adding my accessories took almost as long as it did to get dressed. The rings. The earrings Thefakenosehoop Ihadtoadmit,Ikindofreallylikedthenosering Imightjustmakeitapermanentpiercing Ididn’thaveasmuchtimeasIwouldliketodomymakeup,butsomeeyelinerandmascarawoulddo.Aquickglancein themirrorandIgrabbedmybag,headingintothekitchen.Nanahadbrewedapotofcoffeeforme.Sherarelytouchedthestuff, whereasIcouldn’tlivewithoutit Asoftsmilegracedmylipsatthegesture
Fillingupmyto-gocup,Isnatchedacookiefromtheplatterandpoppeditintomymouth.NanawasinthegardenwhenI walkedoutsidetomycar Iwavedbeforeclimbinginsideandtakingoffdownthedriveway
IhatedtoadmitthatRiverbridgeHighmightbeoneofthemostbeautifulschoolsinthecountry.Ithadanold-worldcharm, mystical,asiftheschoolshouldhavetaughtwitchesandwizardsinsteadofhumansandwolves
Yesterday, I’d beentoo nervous and preoccupied to reallyappreciate the architectural structure of the school. It was a damn castle a Gothic one and maintained very well. The gray bricks weren’t weathered, chipped, or falling off as you mightexpectfroma buildingdatingbackto the early1900s The flatroofhad multiple steeples and ironfences around the perimeter,perfectperchesforcrowsandotherominouscreatures.ItwasshapedlikeaUwithabrick-pathedcourtyardinthe center, and eachcorner had a small gardenfull offlowers and immaculatelytrimmed shrubs Inthe middle ofthe courtyard stoodastatueoftheschool’smascot awings-spreadhawk.Awolfwouldhavebeenabittooobvious.
As ifthe buildingitselfwasn’tmagnificentonits own, the school also had a pool, a football stadiumwitha waterfront view,tenniscourts,anindoortrack,dozensoflabs,atheater,andothereducationalamenities.
FromwhatIunderstood,thebuildingwasoriginallyintendedtobealuxuryhotel,butunfortunately,investorsbackedout, andthebuilderswereforcedtoselloncetheirfundshadalldriedup.Rumorscirculatedthatitwasthehauntingofwolvesthat senttheinvestorspackingupandrunningawaywiththeirtailstuckedbetweentheirlegs
Theschool gotitsnameduetotheriverthatranalongthewesternsideofthebuilding.Watersplashingagainsttherocky banksgreetedmeasIsteppedoutofmycar Underdifferentcircumstances,ImighthaveenjoyedattendingRiverbridgeHigh
Butonce youwalked throughthose frontdouble doors, itbecame justlike everyother highschool. Notthatthe interior wasn’topulentandtheclassroomsweren’tunique.Itwasthehallsfilledwithangsty,oftenselfish,andhormonalteenagersthat linkedittoeveryotherschoolinthecountry
BythegraceofGod,Imanagedtofindmyfirstclasswithoutaguide.Walkingdownthehalls,Istillmanagedtodrawtoo muchattention,andasmuchasIwantedittobemyclothes,itwasn’t Icouldn’thelpbutwonderhowlongitwouldtakeforthe newgirlnoveltytowearoff.
Iunderstoodtheywerecuriousaboutme,especiallythosewhowereshiftersandknewwhattheimportanceofmyarrival meant.Itfeltliketheywereallwaitingforsomethingtohappen.
Ihatedtodisappoint,butneitherLiamnorLeithwaspresentformostofthemorning,andIcouldn’tfigureoutifthatwasa goodthingornot
Are they ignoring me? God, I hope so.
ButIshouldhaveknownmyluckwouldrunoutsoonerorlater Liammighthaveskippedsecondperiod,andofcourse,the momentIfinallyrelaxedmyguardduringmyfifthclass,the stupid-ass tingles started.Theydancedhappilyinside mychest, bloomingwitheachbeat ofmyheart. It couldn’tbe excitement thatmade mypulse race. No, itwas definitelydread Iwas feeling.Definitely.
Liamhadn’tevenenteredtheroomyetanditfeltasifmyheartwouldburstthroughmyribcage.
Prick
Ididn’twantto have this sortofreactionto him. Whatever emotionitwas. And Ihad no intentionofpickingapartmy feelings Ihadalreadymademyminduptohatetheheirprince
Myfingersfistedonthedeskashebreezedthroughthedoor,andIkeptmyheaddown,refusingtolookathim.Ididn’thave to glance up to know where he was or thatitwas indeed Liam. Myhyperawareness ofthis particular wolfgave me all the confirmationIneeded.IsworethatifIclosedmyeyes,Iwouldbeabletopinpointhimfromanywhereintheroom.Itwasasif Icouldseehisshadowbehindmyclampedlids.NomatterwhatIdid,Icouldn’trunfromhim.
Awake
Asleep.
Liam’sfacewasthere,hauntingme
AvoidinghimwasharderthanIpredicted.Thenagain,thegoalherewastomakehimhateme.Perhapsgettinginhisway asmuchaspossiblewasthesolutioninsteadofaproblem.
Hestoppedatthedeskinfrontofme,andIfelthisgazeonme,couldallbutseethescowlonhislipsbeforehefilledthe seat.
Fucking hell Too close
Hewastoodamnclose.Ididn’twanttobreatheinhisscent,butitwasn’tlikeIcouldstopbreathing.Atleastnotforthe entireclassperiod Woodsywithahintofmint thatwaswhatLiamsmelledlike,andwiththecombinationoftherainpelting againstthewindowsoutside,Iwasonthevergeoflosingmyshit.
Ineededtotakedeepsteadybreaths,butafteroneinhale,itwasoutofthequestion.Icouldallbuttastehisscentnow.
FML
I turned myhead to the side, mygaze collidingwiththe personsittingbeside me. Her stare volleyed betweenthe heir princeandme ItwasthenthatInoticedaquarteroftheclassglancedourway,andnotlongafter,everyoneelsepickedupon thesuddentensionintheroom.
“Psst Newgirl”
Iangledmyheadtothekidsittingtomyright.“Ihaveaname.Kelsey.”
“Brandon.”Brandonwashuman.“Ifyouneedsomehelpinclass,I’mhappytosharemynotes.”Helookedmeoverina waythatsuggestedstudyingwasnotwhathehadinmind
Liam shifted in his seat and shot him a glare that basically said, “turn the fuck around and shut up,” which Brandon promptlydidasIflippedhimoff
MyeyesburnedholesintothebackofLiam’shead.Hehadascar,justbelowhisrightear.Tautnesslinedeveryinchofhis body.Icouldseetheveinsinhisneck,seethepulsebeatingthere.IshouldbegladIwasn’ttheonlyonesuffering,theonlyone inpain.
Fuck.Ididn’tlikewhatwashappeninginsideme.IfIreachedoutandtouchedthatscaronthebackofhisneck,wouldIget
shocked? There seemed to be so muchelectricitycharged inthe air betweenus, or perhaps it was amplified bythe storm brewingoutside.
Sinkingdownlowinmyseat,IstruggledtofocusmyattentiononthelectureProfessorElliswasgiving Ishouldhavebeen takingnotes, payingattention, and makingsure Igraduated. Instead, Itapped mypenonthe side ofmydesk, plottinghow I wouldpissoffLiamtoday
The pencil twirlinginLiam’s handsnapped.Inarrowedmygaze.Apparently,mypresence was enoughtorile the eldest Castle,whichshouldhavemademefeelgood Itdidn’t.
Wehadn’tspokenafuckingwordtoeachother,andyetIfeltasifwehadthislong-windedargumentthatleftmedrained. Thisfuckingclasscouldn’tendsoonenough
Acrackofthunderboomedoutside,secondsafteraflareoflightninglituptheforlornsky.Leaningforwardonmydesk,I proppedmychinonmyhandandpeeredoutthestainedglasswindow,watchingasanotherboltoflightningzippedthroughthe gloomysky,thickwithdarkclouds.Astormwascoming,andthewolfinsidemewantedtoplay.Shehatedbeingcoopedupon days like todaywhenyoucould feel the definite shiftbetweenseasons Fall was creepinginto summer, slowlyshovingout thoselonghotnightsandsun-baskingdays.
Forthelasttenminutes,I’dbeentryingtodecipherwhatthecolorsinthestainedglasscreated.Apicture,butofwhat? Anythingtokeepmymindoffhim
ButthenLiamtiltedhisheadtothesideasifhemeanttolookoutthewindowaswell.Themovementcausedmetoglance athim,andfuckingsomehow,oureyescollided Iwantedtolookaway.IprayedIwouldlookaway.Thathewould. Neitherhappened.
ItwasasifIwereinatrance,unabletobreakthiscurse.
Thespecksofblueinhiseyesflaredbrighterthanthegreen,andmylipspartedasmybreathhitchedinmychest.Heheard theslightintakeandliftedabrow Myentirebodyflushed,andIwonderedwhatthefuckhewasthinking Ilosttrackoftimeandhadnocluehowlongthetwoofusstayedfrozen,lockedoneachother.Uncomfortablylong,butat somepoint,itbecameabattleofwills
Thebellrang,andI’dnevermovedsofast,notinfrontofhumans,butIneededdistance.Ashittonofit.Immediately. IhadnoideawhereIwasgoing,onlythatIhadtogetthehellawayfromLiam.
Inthehallway,Imadeamaddashforthestairwell,takingtheflightofstepsdownaleveltothemainfloor.Peoplespilled intothehalls,hamperingmyescape,butImadeitouttheclosestsetofdoors,whichhappenedtobethewestexit.
Liam’s scentgrew weaker witheachpassingstep,thoughitnever disappearedcompletely Iwouldneedtoleaveschool forthattohappen.
Thestormhaddwindledtoalightdrizzle,andIwelcomedthecooldropsonmyface Drawingingreedygulpsofair,Ilet thedewyscentofrainandthefreshnessoftheriveroverpowerthetracesofpineandmintthatlingeredfromtheheirprince. Wantingaplaceofsolitude,Icouldn’thangaroundthesideofthebuilding.Itwasmylunchhour.Thesmokerswouldbe sneakingouttograbapuffdownbythelake AsmuchasIwantedtowalkbythewater,Iheadedintheoppositedirection up Ontheeastandwestsidesofthebuilding,ironstaircaseswounduptotheroof.For thesafetyofthestudents,theywere blocked, and a Do Not Enter sign hung from one rung to the other As if that was enough to deter anyone from entering, especiallyaschoolfulloftroublesometeenagersandshifters.Itwasalmostlaughable.
Glancingovermyshouldertomakesurenoonewasaround,Ihauledmyselfoverthesideoftherailinganddroppeddown ontothestaircase.Thestepswerewetfromthestorm,butIwascarefulasIclimbed,holdingontotheslipperyrailing. How couldIpossiblywithstandthatdegreeoftormentdaily?Ihadtofindawaytochangemyscheduleandmoveevery classIhadwithLiam
Wasthattheexactoppositeofgettinginhisway?
Yes
Buttherehadtobeotherwaystogettheheirprincetohatemesomuchhewouldbreakourbetrothalaccord.
BythetimeIreachedtheroof,therainhadstopped,andbitsofsunlightdappledthroughclustersofmovingclouds Iwas happytofindtherooftopvacant.ThiswasthesolaceIsought.
Goingtotheledge,Itookinthebreathtakingviewfromthreestoriesup.Itookinthegrounds,theriver,andthesurrounding woods Thiswassoworthskippinglunchfor Ineededthismorethanfood Besides,Ihadaproteinbarinmybag Itwould suffice.
Beingconnectedtonaturewaspartofbeingawolf IcravedtheoutdoorslikeIcravedpizzaorcoffeeinthemorning It was a necessityto feed the wolf’s needs as muchas myhumanones, and as oflate, mywolfhad beenneglected. She was lettingmeknowitwastimeIpaidattentiontoher.
Soon,Ipromised. Soon.
Fornow,thiswouldhavetodo.Icouldn’tfullyshiftandrisksomeoneseeingme,soIletheroutalittletoenjoythecool
breezeandthedampnessthatclungtotheair.
Mynailsgrewintosharpclaws,myeyessharpeningandmorphingintothatofmywolf.Itchangedeverythingaroundme. Theworldbecameclearer,fromthedew-drenchedbladesofgrassbelow tothebirdssippingtheriver’swater Icouldhear formilesaswell.
Thebeastwithinmepurredinhappiness Eager toexplorethisnew placeandgether pawsinthedirt,shedesiredmore thanjustataste.Unlikeme,shehadnoqualmsaboutRiverbridge.Yet.
Thewolfwantedmore Seeingandbreathingweren’tenough Alittle thrill,shebegged Please Seeingas the wolfand Iwere one being thoughsometimes Iwondered ifthatpartofme didn’thave her ownmind I gaveintooeasily.Deepdown,Ilongedfordangerandexcitement.
Climbingupontotheedge,Iplantedmyfeetfirmlyandspreadmyarmsoutlikeabirdabouttotakeflight Myheadfell back,myeyes liftingto the sun-streaked sky. Iwanted to leap, to feel the rushofadrenaline coursingthroughmyveins as I plungedtotheground Closingmyeyes,Icouldseemyself,andbythetimeIreachedthebottom,Iwouldbeinfullwolf,my pawssinkingintotheearthwiththepowerofthemoonthatsanginmyblood.
IfonlyIhadthefreedomtoleap Withacampusfullofstudentsandteachers,notthebestideatoexposeasecretthathad been hidden for centuries. Not that there weren’t humans who knew about shifters, but most of the human population still thought we were onlylegends, fantasy, creatures that lived onlyinmovies and books. For our safetyas well as theirs, we wantedtokeepitthatway
Closingmyeyes,Iinhaledadeepbreath,butbeforeIcouldreleaseit,somethingwrappedaroundmywaist. What the
Suddenly,Iwasfalling.Asilentscreamcaughtinmythroat,andforaterrifyingsplitsecond,IthoughtImightdie. Suchahumanthought.HowcouldIforgetwhatIwas?
Four
Turnedout,itdidn’tmatterifIwashumanorsupernatural Iwasnotinjeopardyofmakingasplatterymessonthegroundfor somepoorunexpectingsoultofind.
Ifellbackwardtowardtheroof,notforward Thankthefuckingsaints,orIdefinitelywouldhavebeenforcedtowolfout, secrecybedamned.WhenitcametomylifeorprotectingwhoIwas,livingwon.
Strongarms held me tight against a firmchest, twistinginthe air so theywere underneathme. Right before we hit the ground,thoseannoyingtinglessparkledatthebackofmyneck.Theywerebecomingfartoofamiliar.
FuckingLiam.
Witha hardthud,Ilandedonthe ground No,notthe hardgroundbuta firm body For a few stolenbreaths, the air was knockedoutofme.Stunnedandabitdisorientedastowhatthehelljusthappened,Ididn’tmove.Ijustlayfrozen,sprawled overLiam’schest
Hisheartbeatwildlyagainstmine,andIcouldindeedvouchthathisbodywashardinalltherightplaces. So not what I should be thinking about right now
Amillionthoughtsracedthroughmyhead,thetopbeingwhythefuckhadhetackledmelikeIwasoneofhisteammateson thedamnfootballfield?
Ihadeveryintentionofaskingassoonasmyheartstoppedjackhammeringinmyribcage Iliftedmyhead,curtainsofdark hairframingmyface,fallingaroundLiam’s.Together,ourchestsroseandfellasifwe’djustrunamarathonorhadunrulysex. Ihadnoideawhythatcomparisonpoppedintomyheadwhenithadnorightbeingthere Sex AndLiam Neveragaininthe samethought.Irefusedtothinkthatintoexistence.
Itdidn’thelpthathis lips were toogoddamnclose,barelyaninchfrommine.Or thatIcouldsee the small scar thatran downthe center ofhis bottomlip IfIthought beingnear Liamhad beendifficult ina classroom, beingontop ofhimwas fuckingtorturous.
Icouldn’tdecideifIwantedtohurlor Nope. Not going there.
Liamhadhisownuncertaintiesswimminginhiseyes,anditwasdifficulttodecodewhathewasthinking Hisarmswere stillsecuredaroundme,butitwasalwayshiseyesthatcaptivatedme.
Bitingdownontheinsideofmycheekinanattempttosquashthearousal thattightenedbetweenmylegs,Inarrowedmy gaze What the hell is wrong with me? Ididnothaveanounceofdesireforthisalphaprick Temporaryshock.Thatwasallitwas.
“Iheardyouwerereckless,”hestatedcoldlyashecontinuedtoglareatme Hisaccusationsnappedmebacktoreality.“Didyou?”Ichuckleddryly.“Whatelsehaveyouheard?”
Liam’sgazedartedtomylips,andatthatprecisemoment,Irealizedweshouldn’tbehavingthisconversationwithmestill pressedintoeveryinchofhim.
He wouldn’t No way Liam would not kiss me Would he?
The centers of his irises flared, and I wasn’t so sure anymore I’d heard the heir prince went throughgirls like gum chewingthemupandcarelesslyspittingthemout.
“Thatyouweresmart Iguessallrumorscan’tbetrue Isyourlifereallythatbad?”heaskedinalowvoice WasthataspeckofconcernIheard?OrdidIimagineit?
It tooka blinkfor the meaningbehind his questionto sinkin. Ismacked mypalms against his chest as Ipushed myself upright into a sitting position with Liam still pinned underneath me “I wasn’t going to jump, you idiot I’m not suicidal, especiallyoversomeonelikeyou.God,getoveryourself.”
Hisfingerscircledmywrist,keepingmefromclimbingoffhim “Couldhavefooledme,”hesneered Istaredathishand.“YouforgetI’mawolf.EvenifIhadjumped,itwouldn’thavekilledme.”
“Itwouldhavehurtlikehell,andyouwouldhaveriskedexposure,”hepointedout,twothingsIwaswellawareof PinninghimwitheverydropofdisgustIpossessed,Ireplied,“Youdon’tbelieveme,doyou?”
“Itdoesn’tmatterwhatIthink.”Amenacingdarknesshunginhiswordsthatmademewanttoshiver.
Jerkingmywristfromhishold,Iglaredharder “Foryourinformation,Idon’thatemylifethatmuch” Liammadeanoiseinthebackofhisthroatashesatupwithmeinhislap.“Justme.”
Nowwouldbetheappropriatetimetogetoffhim,yetIremainedforreasonsunbeknownsttome “Idon’thateyou Atleast notenoughtokillmyself.Ihatethepositionwe’rein.”Andthatwasthetruth. “Thenyoushouldbemorecareful.”
“I’mnotyourresponsibility.Idon’tneedyoutowatchoutforme,”Isnapped. Thatdamnbrowofhisarchedmockinglyatme.“Don’tyou?”
Hewasreferringtohavingjusttackledmeofftheroofledge “I’vesurvivedthislongwithoutyou.”
Liamleanedin,hisdarkandalluringscentdrowningme “Butyou’renolongerinHotSprings You’reonmyturfnow,pup Andthereareplentyofpeoplewhowouldliketotakeyourplace.”
Isnorted,tryingtokeepmyheadaboutme.Thisfuckingclosetome,hemadeitdifficulttokeepmysanity.“Right,because you’resuchacatch.”
“You know it isn’t my looks people give a shit about it. They want the power. The title,” he said with an edge of foreboding
Hewasright,andIdidn’twanttofeelsympathyforLiamandtheresponsibilityofbeingthenextinlinetoleadhispack.I understoodall toowell theburdensofbeingbornintoapositionofpower “Idon’tgiveacrapaboutthosethings Theycan fuckinghaveyouforallIcare.”
He brushed the pad of his thumb over the exposed skinonmylower backbetweenthe waistband of myjeans and my slightlycroppedtop ThistimeIshuddered Hiseyesdarkenedashefeltmyreaction “Andthat’swhatmakesyouvulnerable They’regoingtoeatyoualive.”
When the fuck did his hands come around me again? Why is he touching me? Mychinfirmed,ahardnessdescendingintomyfeatures.“I’mnotweak.”
Beforehethoughtaboutdoingsomethingelsewithhishandsonmybody,Iscrambledtomyfeet SomethingIshouldhave donelongago.
Ihadnoexcuses.PerhapsIwastestingmyself.Testinghim. AndIhadnoideaifeitherofuspassedorfailed Thecornerofhismouthtwitched.“Iheardthattoo.”
Iangledmyheadtotheside,regardinghimashepushedhimselftohisfullheight,atleastteninchestallerthanme Imight be small, but Iwas lethal whenIhad to be. “Whyare youup here?” Idemanded, foldingmyarms across mychest. It did nothingtoerasetheimprintofhisbodyandthewarmthitleftbehind “Iimagineforthesamereasonyouare.Thisismyspot,I’llhaveyouknow.You’regoingtohavetofindsomewhereelseto wallow.”
Mychestheavedinfrustration “Iwasnotwallowing,”Isaidbetweengrittedteeth “Whatever.”Heshovedhishandsintohisfrontpocketsasifhedidn’ttrusthimselfnottoreachouttome,butthatcould havebeenmyoveractiveimagination “Justdon’tbeheretomorrow,”hegrowledandthenwalkedaway Ithaddefinitelybeen awarning.
“Asshole,”Imutteredtohisretreatingback.
Dustingoffmyjeansandrunningmyfingersthroughmywindblownhair,ImadeasadattempttolooklikeIhadn’tjustbeen assaultedbythequarterback.
Thank you, jackass, for ruining my lunch. “Wellplayed.”
Iwhirled around atthe sound ofa confidentyetplayful voice and spotted a girl leaningagainstthe door thatled inside, smiling.“Idon’tknowwhatyoumean,”Irespondedtightly.
Her goldenhair was tiedintoa wispyknot,loose tendrils framingher heart-shapedface She haddeepbrowneyes that, despitetheirfriendliness,lookedliketheycouldgocoldinasecondflat.“Okay,wecankeepupthepretense.I’mgame,”she replied
How muchhad she seen? “Who are you?” I demanded. Another wolf, that muchI was sure of. Was she one of Liam’s fangirls,jealoushehadbeentalkingtohisfuturemate?
Pushingoffthecloseddoor,shesaunteredovertowhereIstood,andInoticedshefavoredherleftleg,aslightlimpthat mademewonderifitwascurrentlyinjuredorhadbeenhurtbeyondafullheal.Itwasn’tuncommonforwolvestohuntandbe hunted,justlikeanyother livingcreature Thedifferencebetweenusandother preyandpredatorswasthatsomethinginour DNAgaveustheabilitytoheal.Butthatdidn’tmeanwecouldn’tbewoundedbeyondourbody’sscopeofrepair.Ithappened. Asdiddeath
“Afterthatperformance,yournewbestfriend,”sheproclaimed.
“I’vegotenoughfriends,”Imumbled,turningmyheadtolookoutattheriverinhopesshewouldleavemealone. Shedidn’t “Doyou?FromwhereIstand,youcouldusesomeoneonyourside” Iglancedbackatherwarily.“Whyshouldthatbeyou?”
She was dressed in cutoff jean shorts, a white tank with a flannel tied around her waist, and white Vans, her posture relaxed.“BecauseIthinkwemighthaveacommonenemy.”
Blowingoutabreath,Ifoundmyselfintrigued.“Already?It’sonlymysecondday.” “Please,”sherepliedwithawaveofherhand.“Yourexistencemakessomepeoplehateyou.”
“Butnotyou?”Irepliedmockingly.
“Unlike the general female populationat Riverbridge, Idon’t spend mydays and nights dreamingofLiamCastle” She rolledhereyes,theexactsamereactionIwouldhavehadwiththatstatement. “Really?Justwhatorwhodoyoudreamof,then?”Iinquired She shrugged. “Gettingthe hell outofhere. I’mHope, bythe way. And we mightas well getthis outinthe openwhile we’re sharing. Yes, Iampartofthe Riverbridge pack. And before youaccuse me againofbeinginterested in my cousin, I promiseyouthisisn’tKentucky.Wedon’thookupwithfamily.”
Mylipstwitched.Ihadnoplansofmakingfriendshere,butIlikedHope.Therewassomethingabouther…“Cousin,huh? Shouldyouevenbetalkingtome?”
“Don’tletLiam’sfacadefoolyou.Heisn’tasbigadickasheportrays.Hedidjustsaveyoufromjumpingoffaroof.” Soshe’dseenthewholeexchange Weird HowdidInotnoticeherpresenceontheroof?Thenagain,Liamhadcomeout ofnowhere.Perhapsmywolfsenseswereoff allthisWyomingfreshair.
Isnorted.“Ithinkhejustwantedtoslammetotheground.”Thewordspoppedoutofmymouththoughtlessly,butonceI heardthemspokenoutloud,heatstoleovermycheeks Iwantedtoimmediatelytakethemback Hope’sbrowlifted.
“Don’ttakethatthewrongway,”Iquicklyadded,tryingtotalkmywayoutoftheholeI’ddug Shegrinned,flashingmeadimple.Theymustruninthefamily.“Yourwords,notmine.” “OhGod,”Igroaned,droppingmyheadintomyhand Webothlaughed.Itfeltsogoodtolaugh,somethingIhadn’tdoneindays.Freeing.Weightlifting.Mylifehadbecomefar tooseriousasoflate.
“Don’tevertellanyoneIsaidthat,”IretortedonceIgotmycomposurebackandsmiledather HopemadetheshapeofanX overherheart.“Yoursecret’ssafewithme.I’mexceptionalatkeepingmymouthshut.” Itoyedwiththegoldhoopdanglingfrommyear “Wemightjustbefriendsafterall” “Sincerely,Iwouldlikethat.DespitebeingrelatedtotwogodlikeguysatRiverbridge,I’mnotallthatpopular.” Ipressedmylipstogether “Jointheclub”Ipulledoutmyphonetocheckthetime “Youshouldcometothegametomorrowtonight,”Hopeoffered.“Liamwillbeplaying.” Ifhis presencewas meanttoenticeme,thetacticfailed,butIfiguredHopeknew IwouldrejecttheideabasedonLiam beingthere Riverbridgebreathedandconsumedfootball Ihadeveryconfidencetheentiretownwouldshowupforthegame, whichwastheperfectopportunityforsome me time.“Ihaveplans.”
Shesnatchedmyphoneoutofmyhand “Well,ifyourplansgetcanceled,textme”Aftersheaddedherdigitsandsavedher nameinmycontacts,Hopehandedmyphonebackjustastherooftopdoorburstopen. Leithhaltedinthedoorway,hiseyesshiftingfrommetoHope.Hisshouldersrelaxed.HadLiamsentLeithtomakesureI didn’tdoanythingstupid?Well,stupidinLiam’smind.
Ididn’tneedababysitter.
Hopewrinkledhernoseathercousin.“Seeyouaround,Kelsey.”
Leaningmyhipagainstthestoneledge,IwatchedHopepassLeithandexitdownthestairsleadingtothethirdfloor.Ihad takenthe off-limits exterior stairwell onlybecause Ihadn’tknownthere was also one thatwentinto the school WhenNana askedifIlearnedanythingtoday,Icouldhonestlyansweryes.
LeithwaiteduntilthedoorslammedclosedbehindHopebeforestruttingacrosstherooftop Heworeabackwardbaseball hatonhissandyhairandflip-flopsonhisfeetthatclatteredashewalked.“Iseeyou’vemadeafriend.NotsureifHopewould havebeenmyfirstchoice,butyoucouldhavedoneworse”
“LikeLiam’sgirlfriend,SabrinaThompson?”Isuggested,herfacepoppingintomyhead. Leithshuddered.“Don’tevensayhername.Imightgetfleas.”
Withoutreallytrying,LeithhadawayoflooseningtheknotoftensionthathadresidedinmygutsinceIgottoRiverbridge “Youreallydon’tlikeher?”
Heshrugged,sweepinghiseyesovertheviewashereplied,“What’stheretolike?”
“Idon’tknow.Herlegs.Herass.Hertits.Takeyourpick.”
“I’mtotallyanass guy, and I have to say ” His wicked eyes glanced at mybutt, checkingme out “ yours is better, Kels.”
Leithamusedme.Perhapsitwasbecausehewassafethatletmelowermyguard.“Youaresomuchtrouble.Areyousure there’snowayyouwerebornfirst?Itwouldmakethingslesscomplicated”
He turned so his back bumped against the cool, damp stones and faced me. “For you, maybe, but it would definitely complicateshitforme”
Curiosityhadmeanglingmyheadtowardhim.“Howso?”
Leithwrinkled his nose. “You’ll find outsooner or later, so youmightas well hear itfromthe source. The kids inthis school are fuckingvultures. Careful who yousayshit to. Nothingstays hidden. Hope’s cool. Youcantrust her. She’s not a scheming,backstabbingbitchlikeBrina.”
“Wedidn’ttalklong,butIgottheimpressionshewasn’tatotalpsycho”
His lips twitched. “That wasn’t all I have to say, and since something tells me you want to make my brother’s life miserable,youshouldknowthatflirtingwithmewilljustgetmekilled”
Ipouted,actualdisappointmentsinkinginmybelly.“That’skindofabummer.Iratherlikeflirtingwithyou.”
Leithflashedmehissingledimple.“Weird.Ifeelthesame,probablybecauseyou’resafe.”
Some girls might like to be thought of as safe. I did not. In fact, I wanted to be the exact opposite. “Safe how?” I questioned,mylipsformingastraightline.
“Likeinyou’regoingtobemysister-in-law Andyou’renotmytype,”headdedwithnorealsincerity Ifakeda gaspofoutrage like Iwas offended,myhandgoingdramaticallyover myheart.“Ifyou’re notintoredheads or gothchicks,justwhoareyouinterestedin?”
“Atthemoment,nooneinparticular,”Leithadmittedwhiletoyingwiththebraceletdanglingfromhiswrist.“MaybeRiven ifhewasn’tonapersonalmissiontobangeverygirlinthisschool.”
Iblinked,takingasecondtoprocesswhatIthoughtLeithwastryingtotellme,butatthesametime,Imadeamentalnoteto findthisRivencharacter.HesoundedlikejusttheguyIneeded.
“I’mbi,”Leithsaid,toclarifyanyconfusiononmypart
Hewatchedtoseemyreaction,asifitwouldsomehowchangethewayIlookedathim.Thefactthatitprobablyactually happenedtohimstartedafireofragedeepinmygut IbarelyknewLeith,butIalreadyhadthisprotectivesensewithinmethat wantedtoripoutthe throats ofthose whowouldhurthim.Whathe neededwas for someone nottogive a shitwhohe slept with,boyorgirl.
Lucky for him, that someone was me, because truthfully, I didn’t care This was a no-judgment zone considering I had seriouslycontemplatedusinghimtomakehisbrotherjealous. Howfucked-upwasthat?
Ihadn’tstoppedtothinkabouthowthatmightaffecttheirrelationshipasbrothers.ThatwashowdesperateI’dgotten,thatI stoppedcaringaboutotherpeople So notme Liamwasalreadychangingmewithouthimevenknowing. AndIhadtoputastoptoit.TherehadtobeawaytostaytruetomyselfandalsomakeLiamhateme.Right?
Keepingmyexpressionneutralwithjustatouchofboredom,Ireplied,“ShouldIcongratulateyou?” Leithlaughed,alightnessmovingintohisfeatures.“Itreallydoesn’tmattertoyou,doesit?”
“Shouldit?Youshoulddatewhoeverthefuckyouwant Guy Girl Wolf Imean,I’lladmit,Idefinitelythoughtaboutusing youtogetLiamtobreakoffmyengagement.Istillmight.”
“Yousurpriseme,KelseySummers,”hesaid,shakinghishead.“Itwouldn’thaveworked,though.” IstaredatLeith,wantinghimtoseemysincerity.“I’mrealizingthatnow.”
“Idon’tthinkyou’refullyunderstandingwhatI’mtryingtosay.ShortofkillingLiam,there’snothingyoucandothatwill
gethimtobreakhisoath.Mybrotherhasmanysavagetraitsthatmakehimaclass-actasshole,buthe’shonorable.Annoyingly so.”
Aflareofdeterminationignitedinthecenterofmychest “I’mnotgivingup”
Heflashedmeakiller thousand-kilowattsmile.“Inever thoughtyouwould,Kels.Ican’twaittohaveyouas partofthe family It’sgoingtomakeChristmasdinnerssomuchfuckingfun”
Irolledmyeyes.“Thanks,Leith,”Isaid,flippingthebillofhishataroundtothefrontofhishead.
Readjustingtheballcap,hegavemeafunnylook “Forwhat?”
Icouldn’thelpbutsmile.“Fornotbeingadick.”
“That’sLiam’sgig.I’mjustheretohaveafuckinggoodtimeandstirupalittletrouble.”
Somethingtoldmehewasgoodatboth “Speakingoftrouble,wherecanIfindRiven?”
“Ohno,Kels,”hechuckled,loopinganarmaroundmyshouldersandpullingmeinforapartialhug.“Nothappening.Did younothearwhatIjustsaid?”
Iflattenedmypalmonhischest.“Itdoesn’thurttotry.”
His expression went serious as he stared down at me “My brother would kill him Literally end his best friend if he touchedyou.”
Liam’s best friend. Interesting.
“Kels,”Leithsaidsternlyasifheknewpreciselywheremythoughtswent “Idon’tlikethelookinyoureyes” Clearingmythroat,Icastmyeyesdownfromhis,staringatourfeet.“Hope’sreallyyourcousin?”
“Sheis”Heflickedthetipofmynoseandstartedguidingmetowardthedoors “Anddon’tchangethesubject” Ionlygrinned.
Five
I
didn’tenduptextingHopeonFriday AftertheweekIhad,allIwantedwassometimeawayfromschool AwayfromLiam Notthathehadanythingtosaytome.Wehadn’tspokensincetheroof.Hell,Ididn’tthinkheevenlookedatme.Itwasasif thewholeincidentneverhappened
YetIcouldn’tgetitoutofmyhead.
OrperhapsitwasmoreaccuratetosayIcouldn’tgetLiamoutofmyhead.
Eversincemyencounterwiththeheirprinceontheroof,hewasallIthoughtabout.Thesoundofhisvoice.Thecolorof hiseyes.Thecurlofhislips.Theaddictingscent.Thefeelofhimunderneathme,hiswarmthseepinginbetweenmylegs. Itwasmakingmebatshitcrazy
WhenIclosedmyeyes,Ididn’twanttodreamaboutLiam’smouthorrunningmytonguealongthescaronhisfullbottom lip,draggingitintomymouthandbitingjusthardenoughtotastehisblood Fuck no.
Bad Bad So fucking bad
Iwasn’theretoseducemymate,toscrewhisbrainsoutuntilneitherofuscouldseestraight.
Itwas because ofthese thoughts thatIhad to getaway. This town, the school, and evenNana’s house feltlike a prison, trappingmeinside Ihadtobreakfree
Ineededtorun.Hardandfast.HowelsecouldIbanishthesebedevilingthoughts?IwouldrunmyselfraggeduntilIcould nolonger feel mylegs or keepmyeyes open Thenperhaps mysleepwouldbe dreamless Novisions ofmyarms wrapped aroundLiam’sneck.Noimagesofmybodypressedtightlytohis.Nowonderingwhathismouthwouldtastelike. God, I can’t stand Liam Castle
NANA PICKED up the restlessness humminginside me I’d beenflutteringaround the house since Igothome fromschool She didn’tneedtoaskwhatwaswrong.WhenItoldherIwasgoingout,sheonlytoldmetobecarefulandcallifIlostmyway. Shewasn’treferringtoaphone,seeingasIwouldn’thavemineonme.Bycall,shemeanthowl awolf’scry.Withthe windowsopeninthehouse,andassumingIdidn’tcrossthebridgethatledoutoftown,shewouldbeabletohearme. NotthatIanticipatedtrouble.ThiswasRiverbridge,notthebackalleysofChicago.
Slipping out the back door, I traipsed over the lawn toward the rolling woods The terrain was both magnificent and challenging.Icouldn'twaittosinkmypawsintotheearth,exploretheunknownwoods,andtapintothoseanimalinstincts. SomepeoplespenttheirFridaynightsdrinking,hangingoutwithfriends,orgoingouttoeat Ienjoyedallthosethings,but this other side ofme, the wolf, she loved beingoutdoors. Loved the quietofsolitude and the thrill ofrunninglike she was beingchased.
WhenIgotintothecoverageofthewoods,Iduckedbehindaheftytreeanddidaquickscantomakesurenoweirdoswere lurkingabout.OnceIdeterminedIwasalone,Istrippedoutofmyclothes,foldingthemneatlyinapilewithmyshoes.There wasnothingworsethandestroyingareallynicepairofjeansduringashift Icouldn’ttellyouhowmanyoutfitsI’dlostdueto unexpectedtransformations while Ilearned to control it. Itwas somethingshifters did ata youngage. For whatever reason, masteringthewilltotransformatmycommandinsteadofthewolf’shadbeenmoredifficultformethanformyfriends Fuck, evenBlake,myyoungerbrother,hadcaughtonafterjustafewtries.
Ididn’tknowwhatmyproblemhadbeen,butatthetime,IcouldtellevenmyparentswereworriedIwouldn’tbeableto controlthewolf.
Eventually,thestubborn,demandingbeastinsidemeandIcametoanagreement.Itbecameaboutbalance.Sheletmeknow whenithad beentoo long, and Igave her the freedomto run, to hunt, to be careless And justlike that, the internal power struggleceasedwithinme.
ThankGod
Therewasnothingworsethananunrulyshifter.
My parents tried not to scare me, but I knew they had been very close to sending me away to a school for troubled supernaturals.
Aboveme,acrowsquawkedfromabranch.Itiltedmyhead,peeringintothebird'swatchfulonyxeyes.Someoftheelders still believed insuperstitions, like seeinga single crow could meanbad luck The crow cocked his head before lettingout anothershriek.
Fucking wonderful
JustwhatIneeded.AsifIalreadywasn’tshitdeepinbadluck.Pileiton.
Banishingthoughtsofbadomens,Irolledmyneckandclosedmyeyes,summoningmywolf.Thetransformationtoanyone elsebutashiftercouldseemunnatural,painfuleven,butthatwasn’tthecase.Itfeltmorelikearelease.Liketakingyourbra offafteralongdayorlettingyourhairdownfromatightponytail.Itmademewanttoshakeoffthepricklesthatsparkedover myskin,whichwasexactlywhatIdid
Themomentmybodywentfromhumantowolf,sheddingmyskinforfur,Istoodonall foursandshookoutthelingering bitsofbuzzingenergythatdancedoverme Iwasn’tawerewolf Iwasn’tlankyortall,nordidIstandonmyhindlegs Iwasa shapeshifter.Ibecameawolf.
Inmywolfform,myeyeswerethesameunusual shadeofviolet,andmyfur wasasdarkasmyhair.Similar tothatofa blacksquirrel,awolfwithblackfurwasrare.Afactthatusedtomakemeself-conscious,particularlywhenyoupaireditwith myabnormaleyecolor.Butnow,Iratherlikedbeingdifferent.
Withablink,allmysensesheightened Inhumanform,Istillhadbetterhearing,sight,andscentthannon-supes,butinmy wolf,itwasawholedifferentballpark.Theworldbecamelivelier andmorevivid.Inaway,itfeltasifI’dbeeninahaze, walkingaroundinmyhumanskin,andthesecondIshifted,thefogcleared,allowingmetoseetheworldwithoutafilter Igavethecrowawaryglancebeforetakingoffandstretchingmylegs.Trottingthroughthebrushandtangleofweeds,Idid a bitofexploring, mappingmywayand familiarizingmyselfwithcertainsmells or landmarks. Eachhill Iglided over and everymileIputbetweenNana’shouseandmyselfallowedtheairinmylungstomovefreer Thewoodswerelikeamazeor anobstaclecourseformetoconquer,dodging,ducking,anddashingthroughtheterrain.
Amileintomyrun,Inoticedthecrowfrombeforefollowedme Hiswingsbeatthroughtheairasheweavedinandoutof thecanopyoftrees.Occasionally,Iheardhiscaw.
Iimaginedwhatthisplacewouldlooklikeinthedeadofwinter,branchesdippediniceandfrost,thegroundablanketof endless white snow, fat flakes fallinglazilyfromthe sky, and the frigid cold fillingmylungs. Sucha contrast to the plush ground under my paws covered in twigs and moss. I loved autumn, but the painting of winter my mind conjured made me wistfulforthosecoldermonths
ThedeeperIranintothewoods,thedarkerthespacebetweenthetreesandbushesbecameasthesundisappeared.Butit wastoofast I’dneverseennightdescendwithsuchspeed
What the hell?
MyfrontpawsfumbledasInoticedthatthelackoflightwasn’tjusttheeveningfalling Itwasunnatural asdarkasthe unexplainedplacesinspace.
Icametoaskiddinghalt,driedleavescrunchingundermyclawsasIdugthemintotheearth.
What the fuck? Are my eyes fading? Is something wrong with me?
Squawk.
Thebastardcrowdovetowardme,histalonsskiddingovermyspine,nothardenoughtoscratchbuttograbmyattention AsifIwasn’talreadysuddenlyonalert.Ididn’tneedabirdfuckingwithme.
Squawk, squawk,thewingedassholecriedagainwithanairoffearorpanic,butitwasenoughtoraisemyalarm,trickles ofunease.Heswoopeddowntowardmeagain,andthistimeIwaiteduntilhegotcloseandthenwhirledaround,snappingat thebirdintheair.
Itwasonlyawarning.Mysharpteethhadn’ttouchedhim.Thecrowhoveredasecondbeforeflappingoffandperchingon abranchabovemyhead.
The woods plunged into silence, and that was whenI heard it Or maybe I felt that I wasn’t alone at first Regardless, someone else was out here in the woods with me. My tail twitched as my ears picked up the breathing of another living creature
Aspotofworrypressedatthebaseofmyspine.Perhapsrunningintheunfamiliarwoodsaloneatnighthadnotbeenmy smartest idea I was startingto wonder if there was anywhere safe inRiverbridge No matter where I went, some formof troublegreetedme.
Whoever lurked inthe shadows was doinga fantastic job cloakingthemselves. It also didn’t help that the moonchose tonighttohidebehindtheclouds;notatraceoflightbeamedthroughtheleaves
Thecrow startedscreechingasifhewantedtowarnme.Igotthefuckingmessageandbegantobacktrack,relyingonmy sensestopickupfamiliarscentsonthetrail Iwasn’trunningbutsimplygivingthemachancetofollowme Iftheydid well, wewouldhaveaproblem.
IthadbeenahotminutesinceI’dbeeninatussle,butIwasn’taweakwolf TherewasareasonI’dbeenchosenasLiam’s mate.Whyithadbeenmeandnotanyotherfemalewolfinmypack.
Andifthisjackasskepttailingme,hewasabouttofindout.
Ididn’tknowwhatthefuckwasupwiththesewoods,butImadeamentalnotetoaskNana ThecloserIdrewtoherhouse, thelighterthedarknessbecame,liftinglikeaveilofmist.
WhenIputenoughdistancebetweenmystalkerandme,IwaiteduntilIdippedoverahillanddartedbehindatree,waiting forthepricktopassby.Thenhewouldbemine.
Ineverforgotaface.
Thewindchosethatmomenttoshift,bringingwithitanothernewscent awolf. No. It can’t be.
BeforeIhadachancetoprocessthatanothershifterwasn’tfarfromme,myattentionsnappedtothewhizofwhatsounded like anarrow slicingthroughthe air. Ihad a sinkingfeelingaboutwhere the arrow was headed and who its intended target was Fu
Somethingrammedintomyside,sendingme tumblingover the brush,butIdidn’ttopple alone.The wolfrolledwithme untilwebothcametoastop.Ipouncedontopofhimtokeephimfromrunningoff.
Thud.
Abovemyhead,anarrowembeddedintothickbark,bitsofdebrisshoweringtotheground Notanarrow.
Adart
Pullingmyeyes fromthe syringe thatcould have ended up inme instead ofa tree, Iglanced downatthe wolfwho had savedmeandstaredintothoseaquaeyesI’dbeenavoidingfordays.
Liam?
Hadhebeenfollowingmeaswell?Whatwasthechancethathewouldbeinthewoodsatthesametime,especiallysince hewassupposedtobeatafootballgame?Orhaditendedalready?Honestly,Ihadnoideawhattimeitwas Hisfurwassnow whiteandmadehiseyeslooklikeicecrystals.I’dalwaysbeenasmallerwolf,butnexttoLiam,Ifelt likeachild Undermypaws,musclesrippled,ashowofstrengthanddiscipline
I’dneverseenLiaminhiswolfform,andasfarasIknew,hehadneverseenmeinmine.Andnowwecouldn’tstopstaring at eachother. Not the best time to be enamored bythe other whensomeone inthe woods was huntingwolves like he was goddamnMichaelMeyers
Ihadtoadmit,though,Ididfeellikeoneofthosegirlsbeingchasedthroughtheforestinahorrorstory.Itwastimetosnap thefuckoutofit Iwasapredator,notprey
Despitebeinganapexpredator,wolveswerestillhuntedbyotheranimalslikebearsortigers,butourbiggestthreatwas humans Iftherewasapackintown,you’dbetterbelievehuntersweren’tfaraway Backhome,myfatherhadwolvespatrol thewoods nightly.Itwas akill-or-be-killedrelationship.Theyshowedus nomercy,andmyfather hadalways hadthesame attitudeinreturn.
Butnotallpacksoperatedthesame Ididn’tknowhowLiam’sfatherdealtwithhunters Oriftheyevenmadeaneffortto keepRiverbridgefreeofthreats.Itwasn’teasytopickoutahunter.Theywerehuman,afterall,andlookedlikeeveryoneelse. Itwasn’tuntilsituationslikethisarosethattheiridentitybecameknown
Thatreminderhadmespringingintoaction.Liamwasasecondbehindasifhe,too,hadthesamerealization.Weneededto seethehunter'sface,attheveryleast.Catchinghimwouldbeideal.
Whirlingaround, I jumped off Liamas he scrambled to his feet, bothof us scanningthe woods. Usingall mysenses, I reachedout,looking,listening,feeling,andsmellingforsomethingthatdidn’tbelong.IfLiamhadn’tbeenbehindme,Iwould
