Author'sNote
Iwanttothankalltheconstantreadersforpurchasingmybookandtakingachanceonme Ifitweren'tforyou,Iwouldn'tbe abletokeepwritingandsharingmystories.
Thisisnotasdarkasmyusualbooks,butIwantedtoshareAura'sstory.Ithadsomeverydarkmoments.Deathisdark,and whenithappenstosomeoneyoulove,it'soneofthedarkestmomentsofyourlife.IthinkAura'slosswasjustasdarkasany darkromanceyoumighthaveread.
ItwaspreviouslypublishedasaduetUntilHerandUntilNow IfeltAura'sstoryneededafewtouches Ididn'tfeellikeI wasdone.Tobehonest,Ithinkabookcanevolvejustlikeourlives.Itcanchange.Itcanbebetter.
Aura's storybecame Until Us because itwasn'tonlyabouther Itwas abouteveryone thatwas partofher journey The peopleshelovedandlost,butultimately,shefoundhappiness.Inherheart,theyliveonforever.
Thankyou,reader,forbeingpartofmyjourney.
––CarmenRosales
“Loveisn’tsoft,likethosepoetssay.Lovehasteethwhichbiteandthewoundsneverclose.”
Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter12
Chapter13
Chapter14
Chapter15
Chapter16
Chapter17
Chapter18
Chapter19
Chapter20
Chapter21
Chapter22
Chapter23
Chapter24
Chapter25
Chapter26
Chapter27
Chapter28
Chapter29
Chapter30
Chapter31
Chapter32
Chapter33
Chapter34
Chapter35
Chapter36
Chapter37
Chapter38
Chapter39
Chapter40
Chapter41
Chapter42
Chapter43
Chapter44
Chapter45
Chapter46
Chapter47
Chapter48
Chapter49
Chapter50
Chapter51
Chapter52
Chapter53
Chapter54
Chapter55
Chapter56
Chapter57
Chapter58
Chapter59
Epilogue
I’msittinginthebackofablackRolls-Royceasthedriverpullsthroughagatethatleadstoasprawlingmansion Myjaw almost hits the floor. I have never seena house up close so bigbefore. These people are insanelyrich. The lawns are manicuredandhavehedgesmadeintofigures.Thehouselookslikeacelebritymansionwithacresofsecludedrealestate. ThisisnothingcomparedtohowIwasraised Myparentslivedontheothersideoftown,wheretheworking-classpeople live.
Thedriveropensthebackpassengerdoorandgetsmythreesuitcasesoutofthetrunk It’severythingIown––basicallythe clothesonmyback.
Myparentswereoutforanightonthetownwhentheyweresideswipedbyasemi-truckanddiedinstantly Thinkingabout thembringsastingtothebackofmyeyes.Sincemyparentshadloansonpracticallyeverythingtheyowned,thebanksoldthe house,andall thatwas leftwas paidtocreditors.Iwas leftwithnothingatseventeen.Nomoney,nohouse,andnoplaceto live
Mymother’s neighbor heard ofanopeningfor a housekeeper nearbywhere she worked onthis side oftown. Whenthe familylearnedofmysituation,theyspoketothesocialworker,andratherthanbeingsenttofostercare,thejudgegrantedthem temporary custody for four months until I turned eighteen. The stipulation is that I work the maximum number of hours a seventeen-year-oldcanworkafterschool,andthey’llprovideroomandboardtoincludepaidtuitiontoSpencerAcademyfor mysenioryear.
Thedoubledoorsopen,andabutlergreetsme.
“YoumustbeAura”
Igivehimanervoussmile.“Yes.”
“Iwillhaveyourbelongingsbroughttothemaid’squarterssoyoucangetsettledin”
The loss of myparents devastated me. I went to therapyand grieved for two months until the doctors were sure I was mentallystable.MyfriendsbackhomepromisedtheywouldbetherewhenIreturned,butIwasclosedoff.Marcuspromised hewouldcallmeandassuredmeourrelationshipwasn’tover,butthathasfadedtoo.
“Thankyou.”
“Mrs St Clairewillbedowninaminutetogiveyouatourandtellyouherexpectationswhileyouarehere”
AsInod,Iheartheclick-clackingofheelsonthepristinecreammarblefloors. “Theresheis”
Awomaninherlatefortieswithanelegantchignonapproaches,makingmyshiftdresspairedwithmyConversefeeloutof place.
“Hello,Mrs.St.Claire.MynameisAura.”
“Yes,yes,Iknow,dear.MissLocke,yourneighbor,toldmesomuchaboutyou.Itrustherjudgment,andsheonlysaidgreat things Imetwiththesocialworker,andsheassuredmethateverythinghadgonesmoothlywiththepaperwork Ihavetakenthe libertyto enroll youatSpencer Academy. Mr. St. Claire donates a heftysumto the school everyyear so the principal was considerateenoughtograntusanexceptiontohaveyouenrolled”Shelooksdownatmywornsneakers,andIcantellbyher expressionshedoesn’tapprove.ShetriestoplayitoffwhenIcatchherscrutinybygivingmeadrysmile.“Ihopethetripover waseasy.”
“Ohyes,ma’am Everythingwasperfect Ihadnoissuesonthedriveover” “PleasecallmeDiana.Ma’ammakesmefeelso…soold.” “Okay,Diana”
Lookingatherclosely,Inoticeherperfectbonestructureandflawlesscomplexion,whichcouldonlycomefromBotoxand agooddermatologist
Sheleadsmetowardastaircasetothesecondfloor.Oncewereachthelandingfromthemarblestaircasethatleadstoa hallway,thereisaroomnexttothelaundryroom.Sheopensthedoor,andatthefootofthefull-sizebedaremythreesuitcases.
“Thisisyourroom Therestofthehousestaffstayinthedownstairswing Iputyouinthisroomnexttothelaundryroom forconvenienceandthefactthatyou’reyounger.Afterschool,Iwillneedyoutoworkforfourhourscleaningthesecondfloor andlaundry Whenyougraduate,theheadhousekeeper,MissJean,willgiveyouadetailedschedule Fornow,Ijustneedthe secondfloor,includingKalum’sroom,cleaned,andwhenhisfriendsareover,you’lltidythemesstheymake.MissJeanhas haditwiththeirmesses”
Shepointsatawall-to-wall closetwithfour school uniformshangingneatlypressed.“Thesearetheschool uniformswe picked up fromthe cleaners. The drycleaner comes for pickup everyThursdaybefore youhead to school, and deliveryis everySaturdayintheafternoon Sincethereisnobustransportation,youwillridewithKalumtoandfromschool”
CamilatoldmetheSt.Claireshadasonthesameageasme.ShesaidthatMr.St.Clairewasanequityinvestortycoonand thatIwasingoodhands
TheSt.Claireswouldalsogivemeaweeklytwo-hundred-dollarallowanceasaperkforagreeingtostaywiththemand takethejobaftergraduation
WhenMrs.St.Claireleavestheroom,Isitonthebedandlookaround.It’smoreluxuriousthananyroomI’veeverhad. The roomhas a mini-fridge and flat-screenTVmounted onthe wall. Everythingis nice and fancy, butitisn’thome, and my parentsarenothere Mymotherwasaloanofficer,andmyfatherworkedasanassistantmanageratalumberstore Myparents metincollege,andmymotherfellpregnant.Shefinishedschool,butmyfatherhadtodropoutandgetajobtosupportus.
Itwas roughsometimes because theylived paycheckto paycheckand could onlyafford the necessities Iwentto public schoolmywholelife,butmyparents’lovemadeupformylackofluxuryathome.Icouldn’thaveaskedforbetterparents.I take inmysurroundings witha heavyheart. No more home-cooked meals or nightlytalks withMomand Dad onthe front porch.Theyaregone,andnowit’sjustme.
Iheaddownstairsdressedintheschooluniformandlightmakeuptomakeagoodfirstimpression I’minthekitchenlooking inside the massive fridge stocked like a grocerystore and decide onyogurt for breakfast. WhenI close the door of the fridge,Ijolt.
“Youscaredme!”
GrayeyesbelongingtothemostbeautifulfaceIhaveeverseenareattachedtothebodyleaningagainstthegranitecounter. Hetiltshishead,rakinghiseyesovermeinmyuniform
“Whothefuckareyou?”
Well,theregoesfirstimpressions InoticeheiswearingthesamecolorsasmyuniformwithaSpencerAcademylogoon hisblazer.ThismustbeKalum.
Mygazefollowshistailoredjacket theguyismassive.Hehasbroadshoulderswithstraightbrownhairyouwanttosink yourfingersinto Theonlythingthatmakeshimaturnoffishisscowlashelooksatmewithdisgust
Standingtohisfullheight,heeasilytowersoverme.Hemustbelikesixfootthreetomyfivefootone.Whenhecrosseshis arms,thejacketstretchesattheseams “Iaskedyouaquestion.”
Isnapmyselfoutofitandhopehedoesn’tthinkIwasoglinghim Well,Ikindofwas Marcusisfive-elevenandlean This guyismuscularandhuge.
“I-I’msorry.MynameisAura,andyoumustbeKalum.I’msupposedtoridewithyoutoschool.”Iwincewhenheraises hiseyebrows “I’mthenewhousekeeper”
Iopentheyogurt,thengrabthespoontodipit,andbringittomymouth.Iswallow,feelingthecoolcreamysensationdown mythroatthatfeelslikeheaven
“Idon’tcareformymother’scharityprojects,andlet’sgetonethingstraight.I’mnottakingyouwithmetoschool.” Myeyeswidenattheharshnessofhistone.Whyishesuchanass?HowamIsupposedtogetthereontimeorthereatall? Myappetitequicklyvanishes,andItossthehalf-eatenyogurtinthetrashandquicklywashmyspoon.
“Yourmothertoldmeyouwouldgivemearidetoschooleveryday.”
Heraiseshisfingersandpincheshisnose “Maybeyou’ll understandthisway I Do Not Give A Fuck I’mnotgiving youaridetoschool,ever.”
Iplacemyhandsonmyhips “Whynot?”
“Idon’twanttobeseenwithyou.”
“Youdon’tevenknowme.”
He claps his hands together sarcastically. “Exactly. Idon’tknow you, and Idon’twantto know you. Whenyousee me, don’tlookatme,don’ttalktome.Tome,youarejustlikeeveryonewhocleansthishouse.Thehiredhelp.Itdoesn’tinclude freeridestoschool Figurethatshitoutonyourown”
Thisguymaybegood-looking,buthe’sanasshole.
“Youknowwhat?Forgetit”Igrabmybackpackandheadoutthefrontdoor Iwalkdownthelongdrivewayandpullupthemaponmyphone.Great,threemiles.Iblowapuffofairoutofmymouth andtakeadeepbreathandstartwalking.After walkingfor tenminutes,Ifeel thegroundtremblingunder myfeetandhear a roarofanengine Ilookovermyshouldertothesoundcomingfromdowntheroadandseeamatte-blacksportscarzoomby me.
Igivealoudshriekandruntowardthegrassonthesideoftheroadasthewindblowsmyskirtup,butIcatchitintime, makingsureIdon’tflashanyone.WhenIlookupforabriefsecond,Icanseetheredtaillights.Imakeoutthelicenseplate,and itreadsKALUM
What a rude, rich prick. Whatishisdeal?
Afterthethree-milehikeontheroadpassinghuge,gatedestates,IseeanimposinggatewiththeSpencerAcademycreston it Theschoollookslikeanoldchurchtheymadeintoaprivateschool Whateveritis,itscreamswealthandhigh-privileged snobs.ThisisnothingcomparedtoSpencerPublicHighSchool.
I’msweatyandhot Myhairstickstothebackofmyneck,andIpullthelongtressesandsmell Iloveformyhairtosmell likeshampooorbodyspray,butrightnow,itsmellslikeoutside.IfIhavetowalkeverymorningtoschool,I’llhavetofigure somethingout There is no bus, and Icannotafford anUber everyday Iwill have to make some extra moneyfor rainyand snowydayswhenwalkingisnotanoption.
WhenIpassthegate,Iscanthestudentparkinglot.Therearerowsofexpensivecarsnormalteenagersdonotdrive.These peopleareinsanelyrich,butIwillhaveatoughsenioryeariftheyarealllikeKalum
Iwalkintotheadmissionofficeandretrievemyscheduleandlockernumber.Peoplewalkbyme,givingmecuriousstares. Mostlikelybecausethey’veneverseenmebefore
Afterclosingmylockerwiththeclickofthelock,Iseeagirlwithshortblackhairandexpressivedarkeyessmilingatme. Ilooknervouslybehind me to see ifshe is smilingatme or someone behind me WhenIturnbackaround, she gives me a smirk.
“Hi,I’mExie,andyoumustbeAura.”
Confused,Ipinchmybrowstogether “Howdoyouknowmyname?”
“That’seasy,silly.Kalumalreadyleteveryoneknowthatyouarethehiredhelpinhishouse.Thenewhousekeeperandhis mom’snewpetproject”
Iflinchathow cruel Kalumis bytellingeveryone mybusiness.Now everyone will know I’mthe charitycase ontopof beingthenewgirl.
Hereyessoften.“It’sokay.He’sadicktoeveryone.Well,exceptthebitchcrew.”
“Who’sthe ”
Threegirlswearingtheiruniformskirtsshorterthancustomary,pairedwiththigh-highstockingsandheels,walkdownthe hallwayinunison.Girlslookwithenvy,andguysturnaroundtocheckthemout.Twobrunettesflanktheblondeinthemiddle. “Wait,”theblondedemands,andtheother twostopandturnaroundwithraisedeyebrows Theblondelooks atmefrom headtotoe.“Yep,that’sher.ThemaidKalumtoldmeaboutstayingathishouse.”
Icrossmyhandsovermychestandrememberthattheshirtistoosnugonmybreasts.Thankstomymother,Ihavemediumsizebreastsandaplumpbacksidethatmakesitdifficultfindingclothesthatproperlyfit,leavingthreeinchesofroomonmy waist. Itwouldn’tbe a problemifIwasn’tshortand petite everywhere else. Ihad to quicklypinand sew the sides witha sewingkitbecausetheskirtfitfunnywhenItriediton Thesegirlsdon’thavethatproblem Theyjusthiketheskirttomakeit shorter.I’mtheopposite.I’mtryingtomakeitlongersoIdon’tflashmyasstotheworld.
“Don’tgetanyideaswithKalum,bitch He’staken”
Isnortandwalkuptoher.“Youknow,insecurityisarealturnoff.”
Thehallwaybecomesquietasstudentsstandandwatch.Iguessnoonetalksdowntothisprissybitch.
Sheglaresatme,andfourguyslookinglikeGreekgodswalkdownthehallway Myeyesaretrainedonaparticularone Kalum sidles up to the blond prissy skank, and I watch as he slides his hand around her waist. She leans into him with familiarity Cometothinkofit,itlookslikeamatchmadeinheaven “What’sup,baby?”hesaysinasultryvoice.
Heturnstomeandgivesmeasarcasticsmirk “Howwasyourwalk?”
BeforeIcananswer,wantingnothingmorethantowipethatsmuggrinoffhisface,theblondespeaksup. “Iwas justwarningyour maid here whenitcomes to you.” She purses her lips as she looks up. “Youknow how these commonskankshiredtoworkgetideas”
Rollingmyeyes, Iavertmygaze, and itlands onhoney-browneyes. It’s one ofhis friends standingto his left. His eyes soften,andthenhelooksatKalumandwhoI’massumingisKalum’sgirlfriendwiththewayshetookherclawsout,readyto attack.Ican’tdecipherhisexpression,butitlookstomelikeannoyance.
Theotherthreeeyemewithamusement
Oneofthemisbraveenoughandsays,“Hey,I’mJimmy.Aura,right?” Inod.“Yeah.”
Whenthebellrings,signalingthestartoffirstperiod,everyonewalksawaylikeabunchofantsonanantfarm OnceIfind myassignedEnglishclass,Ifindanemptyseat.
Inotice the people who go here all actlike Kalum Richsnobs who haven’thad a hard dayintheir lives Itake outthe string I have been braiding, place my book on top to hold it in place, and begin braiding the strings together to make a friendshipbracelet.
WhenIwastwelve,mymothertaughtmehowtomakethem.WhenIstartedhighschool,Ikeptgrowingoutofmyclothes, andthingswereexpensive.Sheshowedmehowtobraidthedifferentcolorsandmakedifferentlengthswithlettersinsidethe
braceletstosellatschool.ThenIopenedanEtsyaccountandbegantotakecustomordersandturnaprofit.Itwasn’tmuchat first,butnowI’mmakingalittlebitofmoney.ThatwaswhenIdidn’thavetoworryaboutbeingonmyownsosoonwithno support There is no momor dad to give me more life lessons or guidance I bite down on my lower lip to keep it from trembling.FromthegriefthatconsumesmewhenIthinkaboutthembeinggonesosoon.
IbeginbraidingwhenIfeeleyesboringintome WhenIturnmyhead,intensegrayeyesnarrow Thehairsonthebackof myneckstandinawareness.Kalumstaresatmefromacrosstheroom,andIwouldgiveanythingtoknowwhatisonhismind. Ourgazesconnect,butIkeepthreading Theteacherdoesn’tevennotice Mr Kruppisbusywritingnotesonthesmartboard Whenhefinishes,Ipulloutmyphoneandsnapapicturewhenheisn’tlooking.
It’sthebestwaytotakenotes.Whywriteeverythingdowninarushwhenallyouhavetodoissnapapictureandhaveall thenotessavedinstantly It’slunchtime,andIenterthecafeteria.It’sfancywithtablesandactualwoodchairsinsteadofthecustompicnictablesyousee inpublichighschool.Thinkingaboutmyoldschool,ImissGinaandMarcus.ItriedtextingMarcusthismorning,buthedidn’t answer
At first, Iwas mad he didn’t respond right away. Myfear was that he would find someone else and forget about me. I acceptedthathewould,butIdidn’tthinkhewouldghostmesosoon Itstings,andIguessithurtsmorebecauseIhavenoone I’mallalone,andevenGinawillfindnewfriendstohangoutwith.Theywillallmoveon.
Gettingoverfeelingsorryformyself,Ipushallmydoubtsasideandscrollthroughmyphonetomybankappandcalculate how muchIwill needtosave for anUber for rainydays,snow days,andlunchatschool IquicklyfiguredoutthatIwould havetobringahomemadelunchfromnowontosaveenough.
Myplanistograduateandleave IhadnointentionofstayingonwiththeSt Clairesastheirhousekeeper IknowIkindof ledMrs.St.Claireonbyagreeingtothisarrangement,butwhatchoicedidIhave? None at the moment.
Igetupfromtheemptytableandmakemywaytothelinetograbsomethingtoeat Igrabasmallportionandcalculatehow muchtheychargeforfood.Theguywiththesoft-browneyesthecolorofhoneystandsnexttomewhileIcontemplatebuying thewaterortheicedtea.Iquicklyscantheareatofindtheprice,andheslideshistraycloser.
“Whichonedoyouprefer?”heasks
Ichewonthecornerofmylip.HeprobablywouldlaughbecauseIneedtobuythecheaperone.Howdoyoutellaguywho livesinwealthyouareworriedaboutthepriceofacanoficedteaorabottleofwater?
“Takeboth,”hesays,grabbingthem.
Heplacesthemonmytray Ilookup,andhiseyessoften,caressingmyface
“That’snotnecessary.I’lljusttakethewater.I’mgonnaneedittohydrateformywalkhome,”Itellhim,placingtheiced teaback.
Hefrowns “Kalumdidn’tdriveyou?”
“Doyoureallyneedmetoanswerthat?I’mthehiredhelpandthemaid.Idon’tgetfreeridestoschool.”
“I’mCa ”
Iquicklywalkaway,knowingI’mbeingrude.HeisfriendswithKalum.Lethimlaughitupwithhisfriends.Idon’tcare. WhenIreachtheregister,theladyinaSpencerAcademystaffuniformbeginstoringmeup.
“That’llbeelevendollarsandseventy-fivecents.”
Jesus,that’sabouttwohundredandthirty-fivedollarsamonthifIeatthesamethingeveryday.Ireachformywallet,my longhairslidingforward Alargearmtowersovermeandhandsherablackcreditcard Myeyeswiden,andmyheadtiltsup whenIseeit’stheguywiththebrowneyeswhoIwassorudetoearlier.
“Canyouchargefivehundredandputitonheraccount,please?”
Myheadsnapstothelunchladyassheplacesthecardinthecardreader.
“Whatisyournameandstudentaccountnumber?”
“No.I-Ican’ttakeit.”
Hesighsbehindme,handinghertheicedtea.“Ifyoucould,pleaseaddthisandswipemycard,”hecommands. Thelunchlady’seyeswiden,andthenshelooksatme,givingmeagrin
“Ican’tpayyouback.”
“Idon’twantyoutopaymeback It’snobigdeal”
“It’sfivehundreddollars,”Ideadpan. Hechucklesandshrugs.“So?”
KnowingIhavenochoice,Irattleoffmyinformationtothelunchlady HeplacestheicedteaIwantedonmytrayandgrins.
“LikeIwassaying,mynameisCason”
“Nicetomeetyou.Youdidn’thavetodothat.I’msorryIwasrudetoyouearlier.It’sjustthatnoteveryonehasbeenvery nicetomehere.”
“Iwanttobethefirst Ifyou’llletme?”
Ibitemybottomlipnervously,standingbytheemptytableIwassittingatearlier.
Hissmilewidens Takingthetimetogetagoodlookathim,Inoticehehasstraightteethwhenhesmilesandaniceface He’snicetolookatandseemsharmless.Heistallandfillsouthisuniforminalltherightplaces,butIdon’ttrusthim.Ican’t trustanyonehere
“Yo,Cason.”Webothturntoseeoneofhisfriendswavingathim.“Stopslummingitwiththehelpandcomeoverhere.We needtogooverplaysforournextgame.”
Istiffenathisremark
Casonshakeshishead,clearlypissedoff,givinghimahardglare.Myeyesscantherestofthetable,andgrayeyesfind mine,sportingascowl
Rollingmyeyes,IturntoCason.“Idon’tthinkthisisagoodidea.Youshouldgo.”
Iplopmyselfonthechair,relievedwhenhewalksaway Evenifhepaidtoaddmoneyforlunchtomyschoolaccount,I decideI’llstillbringmylunch.I’msureattheendoftheyeartheycanreimbursethecardhepaidwith,orIcangivehimthe moneyiftheygiveitbackinacheck.
ThethreegirlsdubbedthebitchcrewenterthecafeterialiketheyowntheplaceandsitnearwhatIcannowassumearethe footballjocks.TheblondealloverKaluminthehallwaysitsnexttohim,practicallyonhislap.IcatchCason’sgaze,buthe looksaway,actinglikeheispayingattentiontohisfriends Ikeepmyeyesonmytrayandbegintoeat,butthensomethinghits me,liketinypebblesagainstmyback.
Iturnaroundandnoticepeanutsbouncingoffmealloverthefloor.IlookupandnoticeJimmyandeveryonelaughingwith theirhandscoveringtheirmouths,tryingnottoattractattentionfromthecafeteriastaff.
Itakeadeepbreath.“Theserichpricksaredumbandimmature,”Imumble. InoticeCasonislookingathisfriendswithafrown,buthedoesn’tstopthem MyeyesfindKalumandwatchhimlaughing alongwiththebitchcrewgivinghimaglare.
Anotherpeanutfliesandlandsinmyhair Islamthetrayonthetable,anditdrawscuriousglancesfromtheotherstudents Theybegintolaughwhentheynoticewhatisgoingon.Islidethepeanutsoutofmylonghair.Imovetoemptymytrayinthe trash,needingtoleave,nothavingtouchedmylunch.
I’mnotonetothrowawayfoodusually,butstudentsarenotallowedtotakethetraysoutofthecafeteria,soI’mfucked.I can’tstayherewhenit’severyoneagainstme,soIgrabthewater,mygazetrainedonthejocktableandnoticeCasonfollowing mymovements HefrownswhenheseesIthrew awaymyfood,andIpurposelythrow theicedtea,lettingitplantinsidethe trashbinwithabigthudandmakemywaytostopbytheirtablelookingrightatJimmy.
Hegivesmeasmirk “What’swrong,Aura?Don’tyoulikepeanuts?Theycantastegoodifyouspreadthem” Icrossmyarmsovermychest.“Youreallyneedtostopbeingsocarelessandpickyournutsupfromthefloor.They’reso tiny,theyarescatteringallovertheplace.”
Kalumchuckles,andCasongrins Ilowermyvoice “Andjustsoyouknow You’rethelastpersonIwouldeverspreadmy legsfor,younastyprick.”
Jimmysnickers,butIcantellbythetwitchofhisrighteyethatIhitanervebycallinghimnastyandannouncingIwould nevergivehimthetimeofday.He’sattractiveinaboyish,immatureway,butsonotmytype.Noneofthemare.Ican’tstand them,andthebitchcrewisevenloweronmylist
IgiveKalumonelastglarebeforeJimmysays,“Ihopeyouenjoyedyourlunch.” IraisemymiddlefingerhighenoughintheairsohecanseeasIwalktowardmynextclass.
Kalum
Iwatchherretreatoutthecafeteriadoor,admiringthewayherskirthugshersmall waistand the fabric moves up her ass. The girl musthave a huge ass for her uniformto bunchup like that. Isee her tryingto lower itso she doesn’tflasheveryone, and justthinkingaboutitmakes mycockstraininmyuniformtrousers. Fuck,she’shot WhenIsawherinmykitchenbentovertolookintherefrigerator,Ileanedonthecountertoadmiretheview, hopingIcouldgetaglimpse.
Whenshestraightened,Icouldtellthetopwastootightoverherchest,tellingmeshehasabigrack Myeyeslingeredover her until Ireachedbeautifullyshapedbrows,aslender nose,andthemostkissablemouthIhadever seen.Icouldn’tbelieve thiswastheseventeen-year-oldmyparentshiredasournewhousekeeper Idon’tknowthedetails,butIdoknowthatsheturns eighteeninacoupleofmonths.
Whensheaskedmeforaride,therewasnowayIcouldbeclosetoherintheconfinementofmycar.Iwouldn’tmakeitthe three-miledrivetoschoolwithhersoclose Idon’tknowwhatthehelliswrongwithme Ineverlosemymindoveragirl I’m KalumSt.Claire,startinglinebackerforSpencerAcademy,andIcanfuckanychickIwant.
AllIhavetodoissnapmyfingers,andoneappears It’smostlikelywhySarahisonmydick Sheisalwaystryingtoget metohavesexwithher.Sarahisyourtypicalsnootyrichgirlwithblondhairandclassicalfeatures,butsheisnoAura.
“That’sfuckedup,Jimmy,”Casonsaysdisappointedly Ilookuptoseewhathe’scomplainingabout.
Jimmyshrugs.“IthinkI’minlove.”
IgivehimaglarebecauseJimmysayingthatmeanshewantstostickhisdickinher He smirks at me. “What? Who cares. Besides, Kalum, you said she is just the help. Who gives three fucks about her anyway?”
“Shedidn’tevengettoeat,”Casonchides. “Aw.Catchingfeelingsalreadyfromslummingit.” “Fuckyou,Jimmy,”Casonsnaps.
Wantingtoknowwhathesaidtoher,Itaketheopportunityandask,“Yo,Case.Whatwereyoutellingherintheline?” Heswipeshishandoverhisface “Nothing” Whyisheevadingthequestion?Alarmbellsgooffinmyhead.WhatamImissinghere? “Shelivesinmyhouse,asshole Ineedtoknowwhatyoutoldherandwhatshesaid” “Nothing,Kalum.It’snobigdeal.Shedidn’tdoanything.” Igivehimahardstare,andhesighs.“Ipaidforherlunch,alright?”heconfesses. Whatthe fuck? He paid for her lunch. Mystomachsinks. Iknow Iwas a total dickto her this morning, butanother guy payingforAura’sanythingjustdoesn’tsitwellwithme.
“Why?”Iaskwithahardedgetomyvoice Hegivesmeahardstare,andIraiseabrow.HeknowsI’mpissed,andhelooks nervous
“Ididn’tthinkitwascoolforhertoworryifthepriceofwateroricedteawastoohigh.Sheobviouslycan’taffordtopay forherownlunch.Shehardlyhadanythingonherplate.”He pointsatJimmy “Andasswipeoverheremadesureshefeltuncomfortableenoughthatsheendedupthrowingitallaway I putfivehundredonherlunchaccount,soshe didn’thavetoworry Iwastryingtobenice”
“Hownobleofyou.Ihopeyoudon’tthinkthismeansyougettofuckKalum’smaidnow,”Jimmysayssarcastically. “Shutthefuckup,Jimmy,”Isnap Jimmyshutshismouth,clearlyrealizingI’mnotfuckingaround I’mbigger,andIhave
moresizethantheydo,andeveryoneknowsIhaveabadtemper,sotheytreadcarefullyaroundme.
MyheadspinsasIimagineCasonwithher.Ijustmetherhoursago,buthereIamplayingwithmyemotions.Itakeoutmy phone,usingtheopportunitynottoallow Casonor anyonetobuyAuraanything Isendfivehundreddollars throughthePay app,electronicallysendingCasonthemoney.
Hisphonevibrates,andhescowlswhenheopensthenotification “Idon’twantthemoneyback Ididn’ttellyoutosendit tome.”
“Idon’tneedmyparentsbreathingdownmyneckaboutyoucoveringherlunch,”Isay withabiteinmytone.“It’sbadenoughshe’slivingwithme.”
“Ihopeyoutalkthemintoforgettingaboutthewholething,”Sarahchimesin. IpushSarahoffmetogivemedistance Theperfumeshewearsisstartingtogettome Liar Whatreallybothersmeisthe wayCasonisactingaboutAura.
“Youshouldstartworryingaboutherthree-milehiketoandfromschooleveryday Thepoorgirlsaidsheneededwaterso shecouldhydrate.Youaresuchanasshole,Kalum.I’m positiveshedidn’tdoanythingtoyouforyoutotreatherlikeshit”
“Stayawayfromher.Sheisnotyourproblem,butmine,”Igrowl.Sarahwhipsherhairaroundandfacesme.“Whyareyou sobotheredaboutit,Kalum?”
Igiveherahardstare “Stayoutofit,Sarah”
Shepoutsandturnsaroundwithahuff.Good.Idon’tneedherjealousycraprightnow.Auraisapaininmyass.Ididn’t ask to babysit a chick that is eventually going to clean my underwear Fuck Just thinking about her touching anything that encasesmydickona
dailybasisturnsmethefuckon.Iflewrightpastherwhileshewaswalking,hopingherskirt wouldlifttogetaglimpse,butIwasdisappointed.I’mdyingtogetaglimpseofherplumpass.Mymindwondersifsheis wearingboyshorts, a thong, or regular panties. I never would have thought mymother would agree to have someone who lookedlikeherlivinginmyhouse
Casonwas eye fuckingher. Atfirst, Ithoughthe was curious aboutAura, butthe wayhe acts whenI’mgivinghimshit abouthertellsmeallthatIneedtoknow Casonlikesher
Brianglancedbrieflyather,andIknowit’sbecauseofWendythathedidn’tfull-blown gawkather.WhenAurawalksintoaroom,sheistotallyunawareoftheeffectshehasonguys.
It’stheendoftheday,andIdreadthethree-milewalktotheSt Claire’shouse Ican’tsayit’shomebecauseIdon’thavea home.Aftermylongwalk-throughmansionroadasIcallit,Ihavetoworkforfourhourscleaningthesecondfloor,which includesKalum’sroomandbathroom.Iwonderifheismessyoracleanfreak.
I’mlostinmythoughtswhenIopenmylocker,swingingthemetaldooropen,anddoadoubletake There,sittinginallits glory, is a cold canof iced tea and a warmsandwich. I leanbackslightlyover the door of the locker to see if anyone is watchingmeortogivemeahintofwhocouldhaveplacedthefoodtherebutcomeupempty It’sjustpeopletryingtogettheir stuffandleavefortheday.
Icheckthelockonthedoor Whoeverplacedthefoodinsideknowshowtogetinmylockerwithoutthecode WhenIgrab thewarmsandwich,Inoticeit’sameltedswissandturkeysubthathasmystomachgrowlinginprotest.Itsmellssogoodmy mouthwaters.
Lookingatthewrapper,Inoticethatit’sfromasubplaceandnotthecafeteria,andIwonderifitwasCason HefiguredI liked the iced tea, and I remember himfrowningwhenI had to throw awaymylunchbecause of Jimmyand his immature bullshit
Closingthelocker withathud,Imakemywaywiththesandwichandicedteainhand,quicklyopeningthewrapper and takingthefirstbite Ioutwardlygroanathowgoodandperfectittastes ItwasexactlywhatIneeded
WhenI make it out of the parkinglot, I see a familiar blackRolls-Royce parked inthe student parkinglot. The driver quicklyexitsandgivesmeagrin.
“MissRayne?”hedrawls
IslowmystepsandswallowthebiteoffoodIhadinmymouth.“Yes.”
“Iamheretotakeyouhome”Heopensthebackpassengerdoorandwaitsformetoenterthevehicle
“Oh,Ithinkyouaremistaken.Iwasn’twaitingtobedrivenanywhere.”
Whocouldhavecalledforadriver?IplacethecanoficedteaundermyarmandretrievemyphonetoseeifIhaveany missedmessages.
WhenIseetherearen’tany,Ilookup.“I’msorry,butnoonehasletmeknowthattheysentyoutopickmeup.”
Hesmiles “IcanassureyoutheSt Claireshaverequestedmetotakeyouhome”
IrecognizedhimfromthefirsttimeIwastakentotheSt.Claire’shouse,andsincetherideisrequestedfromthem,Idon’t wanttoargueorgivecauseforMr andMrs St Clairetobeupsetwithme Islideinsidetheluxurycabinofthecar,andlike thefirsttime,thesmelloffresh,expensiveleatherassaultsme.
I have never beeninside a car so luxurious before meetingthe St. Claires and quicklywrap mysandwichup to avoid makingamessinsuchabeautifulcar.Myparentsalwayshadonecar,anditwasausedHondawithnoleatheroranyluxury thisvehicleoffers.Thedrivertakesusoutontotheroad,andtherideisshortsinceit’sonlythreemileslong. Ienterthepristinehomesooverthetopwithmarblefloorsandexpensivevaseswithanironaccentedspiralgrandstaircase youseeincelebrityhousesonTV
IwalkupthestaircaseandentermyroomtogetreadyandcleanthesecondfloorlikeMrs.St.Claireinstructedmeto. After cleaningthe hallwaybathroomand makingsure everythingis inplace, I lookover to a closed door that must be Kalum’sroom.Takingadeepbreath,Iclosemyeyesbrieflyandturntheintricateknob,watchingthedoorslowlyswingopen. Myeyesscanthefootballtrophiesliningthewallofthemassivebedroom.
Lookingaround,Irealizehisking-sizefour-posterbedisunmade.Thereisapileofclothesinonecornerandahugemess
onawoodendeskthatmustbewherehedoeshishomework.
Walkingfartherinside,Iinhalethescentofhiscolognemixedwithascentthatisallmale.Thisiswhathemustsmelllike up close, and if I’mbeinghonest, it’s attractive If I compared the scent of Kalumto Marcus, there is just no comparison Kalumsmellsexpensiveanddangerous.Marcusisjust,well,Marcus.Typicalteenagefootballplayerandthestarquarterback ofSpencerPublicHighSchool
IbegintoworkstrippingthesheetsofKalum’sbed,hopingIdon’tfindsomethingthatwillscarmefortherestofmylife like a usedcondom,andplace the comforter withsheets inseparate piles Placingmyheadphones inmyears,Iplay“24/7” featuringEllaMaiandstartsingingalongasIgettothepillowsnext.
Swayingmyhips,Igrabthecaddyjustoutsidethedoorandbegintowipehisnightstand.MybrowsfurrowwhenInoticea cellphonepluggedintothecharger Awarenesssnakesdownmyspine,andIrealizeI’mnotalone
Theairintheroomhaschanged,andit’schargedwithanenergyIcan’tplace.Thesmellofcleanbodywashthatmatches thescentofcologneassaultsme Iturnmyheadandjolt,droppingtheraginmyhand
Iplacemyhandovermychestandtakemyheadphonesoff.“Youscaredme,”Isaybreathlessly.
Standinginall his shirtless glorywitha white towel wrapped around his waistis Kalumleaningagainstthe doorjamb, tiltinghisheadwithabrowraised.Arethosetattoosalloverhisarmsandchest?
Come on, Aura, get a grip.
“I-I’msosorry Ididn’tknowyouwerehome”Ilowermygazesohedoesn’tnoticeI’mstaringathim Hepushesoffthedoorwayandwalksfartherintotheroom,andmyeyesmove,lookingatthefloor.Ihaveneverseenaman naked in person before, but Kalum St Claire is all man, and the lower half of me recognizes it The man is beautiful Everywhere.Heisgorgeouswithachiseledbody,buthehastheworstattitudewhenhespeaks.
Mycheeksheat.Ibendmyknees,loweringslowlytopickuptheragandturntokeepwipingdownthefurniture,hopinghe willgobackandchangeinthebathroom,preferablywiththedoorclosed.
“Whatareyoudoinginhere?”
Ifreezeandanglemyheadtowardhim,andheisstillcladinthetowel
“Whatdoes itlooklike?I’mcleaningyour room.Itis whatyour mother hadinstructedmetodowhenIcamehome.I’m sorry Ididn’tknowyouwouldbehere Iwastryingtobequickandgetitdonebeforeyoumadeithome”
“Ididn’tagreeforyoutocleanmyroom,andIpreferyoudidn’tunlessI’mhere.Idon’twantyougoingthroughmystuff.” He opens a drawer and takes outsome boxers, the dingofthe brass handle soundingagainsthard wood whenhe slides the drawerclosed.
I’mabouttoleavetheroomwhenhesuddenlydropsthetowel,andmyeyeswidenwhentheylandonhiscock.OhmyGod, he’shuge Everywhere I’mstunned,notbelievinghewoulddosomethinglikethat,butI’mmoreshockedatthesheersizeof him.
Ispinaround “Whatthehell,Kalum”
“LikeIsaid,Ididn’tagreeforyoutocleanmyroom.You’reinmyroom,andI’mgettingdressed.”
“Icouldleaveandcomeback,”Iquip.
“What’swrong,Aura?Areyounervous?”
“No.I’mjustnotinterestedinseeingyougetdressed,”Isnap.
I am nervous TheguylookslikeanAdoniswithstraightdark-brownhair,aperfectnose,achiseledjaw thatcancutmy pantiesinhalfwithahardbodyandacockthatisfreakishlybig.Hisbodymakesmefeelhotandwet.Ihaveneverseenaman nakedexceptwhenIwascuriousandGoogledwhatamanwouldlooklikewithouttheirclotheson,butIhavetosay,Kalum looksbetter.IhavenoonetocomparehiscocktobecauseI’veneverbeenintimatewithamanbefore.ThemostMarcusandI havedoneiskiss,andhefeltmeuponmybreastmyjunioryearwhenhedrovemehome.Wewerekissing,andhebeganto lower hishandandtouchmybreasts,butitdidn’tfeel right,soImadeanexcusefor himtostop Marcuswasunderstanding andpatient.Herespectedmywishes,andthatmademelikehimevenmore.
Hescoffs,“Yeah,right Everygirldoes”
“Well,I’mnoteverygirl,andIhaveaboyfriend.”
He chuckles “Yeah, I’msure he takes great care ofyou That’s whyyou’re here cleaningmyroom Please I’malmost positivehehasn’tcalledyousinceyougothereandismostlikelyballsdeepinpussy.”
Iflinchbecauseheisright.Marcushasn’tcalledmetoseeifIarrived.Ginatextedmethatshewasbusywithschooland wouldtextmelater,butsheneverdid
“You’resuchapig.”
“No,I’mhonest Ifhehasn’tcalled,it’sbecauseyou’reeasytoforget Don’tgetallhighandmightywithmelikeyou’retoo goodformeorsomeshit.Youdon’thavetoworryaboutmebecauseIdon’tfuckuglychicks.”
Tryingnottolookathischest,Ilookhimstraightintheeyes.“Atleastwecanagreewebothfindeachotherunattractive.”
HiseyesflickerwithsomethingIcan’tdescribe.Likeitbothershimformetofindhimunattractive.
“Good.I’mgladweunderstandeachother.Nowcleanmyroomandgetout.”
Myeyessting.KalumhasbeensuchanasssinceIgothere,andIhavedonenothingforhimtoactlikethattowardme. GrabbingthesheetsthatIpiledonthefloor,Iheadtothelaundryroom,blinkingbackthetearsthreateningtospill.Irefuse tocryinfrontofhim
Iplace the soiled sheets and pour the soap inside the washer, and whenIclose the washingmachine door, a sob Iwas tryingtokeepatbayescapes Thetearsspill,andIsniff,missingmymotherandmyfatherdesperately How couldthishave happened?
Howcouldmylifebeturnedupsidedown?Oneminute,I’mhappywithmyparents,myboyfriend,mybestfriendatschool, andinasplitsecond,I’velostmyparentsandeverythingIhaveeverknown,leavingmewithpracticallynomoney,nohome, andajobasahousekeepertoaprivilegedfamilywitharichsnobforasonwhoapparentlyhatesthefactthatI’mhere.
Kalum
Shepracticallyranoutofmyroomwithmysheets,andIcouldhaveswornIsawtearsinhereyes Droppingthetoweland appearingnaked before her was a bold move. Makingher feel uncomfortable was myfirstthought, butmaybe I’d been seekingherreaction.
WhenIsawherswayingherhips,obliviousthatIwasstandinginthedoorwayofmybathroom,Iwasmesmerizedbyher bodyintightblackleggingsandaT-shirttiedinaknotatherwaist.Iwasright.Aurahasanamazinghourglassshapewithass andtitsfordays Whensheturnedaround,sensingmewatchingherstandingthere,myeyesdippedtolargebreasts
She looked like she belonged inmyroomwithher messybun, like she has beencleaningmyroomfor years, not as a housekeeper,butasmygirlbecauseshewantedto
Whenshe told me she found me unattractive and had a boyfriend, Isaw red. Ismirked because Iwas jealous, and all I wantedhertodowasforgetheexisted.Hedoesn’tdeserveher.Whatguywouldlettheirgirlfriendacceptthisarrangement? Why did her parents let her go? What type of parents let another stranger adopt themto be a housekeeper once they turn eighteeninafewmonths?It’snoneofmybusiness,butnowI’mcurious.
Gettingclosetomybedroomdoor,Iwalkslowlyincaseshewalksbackintomyroom WhenIamsuresheisn’twalking thisway,Ipeermyheadoutandlooktowardthelaundryroom.
Whenthemachinepauses,switchingcycles,Icanhear faintsniffing Isshecrying?Sheturnssideways,notrealizingI’m watchingherlikeacreep,andsomethingbreaksinsideme.Fresh,hottearsstreamdownherface,andshesobs.
Theinstinctinsidemehasmeapproachingher.Ineverintendedtomakehercry.Somethingaboutthewayshecriestears meapart Iwonderwhichpartofthemessed-upthingsIsaidcausedhertocry
WhenItakelongstridesdownthehallway,hereyeswiden,glistening.Shequicklywipeshertears andlooksaway. Betweenasobandasniff,sheasks,“Istheresomethingyouneed?”
“Ineedyoutolookatme,”Idemand.
Sheturnsherface,andthelookofsorrowlacedwithpaingutsme.I’mnotasoftybyanymeans,andagirlcryingdoesn’t doitforme,butsomehow,Auracryingislikeaknifetwistingpainfullyinsidemysoul.
Anothertearescapesdownherbeautifulface.Auraisbreathtakinglygorgeous.Tellinghershewasuglywasmebeingan assbecauseshewasn’tgivingmethereactionI’musedtoreceivingwithothergirls
Mythumbsoftlywipesawayhertears.Shestandsstill,andI’mrelievedsheletsme.Thesofttouchofherskinshootsan electriccurrentupmyhanddirectlytomycock
Leaningclosesomylipsareclosetoherear,Iwhisper,“I’msorrytohavemadeyoucry.I’manasssometimes.”
Ileanclosertohercheekandplacemylipsthere,feelingthesaltywetness.MyeyescloseasIsmellthesoft,floweryscent comingoffherskin.Thewayshelooksisperfect.She’sperfect.“IfsomethingIsaidcrossedtheline,I’msorry.”
Hereyesfindmineagain,andupclose,herlight-browneyesarestriking.Icouldgetlostinthem,anditscarestheshitout ofme ThefeelingsAuraevokesinsidemehavemeall typesoffuckedup Whenshewalksintheroom,myeyesfollow her likelasersfindingatarget.
We stand there lookinginto eachother’s eyes until she breaks the spell “It wasn’t mychoice to be here I’msorryfor bargingintoyourlife.Icantellyoudon’tlikethefactthatI’mhere,butneitherdoI.”
Her words are like a blastofcoldair whenyou’re tryingtokeepwarm.Standingback,Igive her space.She wipes her faceandtakesadeepbreath,tryingtocomposeherself
“I’llstayoutofyourwayasmuchaspossible.Youwon’tevenknowI’mhere.I-Iappreciateyourapology.”
NotthewordsIexpectedtohear Hearingthemshouldmakemefeelbetter,butIfeelnoneofthosethings Buttellingher it’sokaywillmakeherthinkIwantheraroundandthatIhavechangedmymindaboutherstayinghere.Ifshewasnotattending myschoolorhavinghersocloseandcleaningmyroom,maybeIwouldn’tcare
Inthemorning,IseekmymotheroutbeforeIleaveforschool.Ifindherseated,readingthelatestmagazine,catchingupon gossip.Shehearsmeapproachandlowersthemagazine.Hereyesfindmine,andshesmiles.
“Goodmorning,Kalum Howwasthefirstdayofschool?IhopeyouhelpedAurafeelwelcomeandshowedheraround” Ileanontheedgeofthesofa.“Goodmorning,Mom.Actually,thatiswhatIwantedtotalktoyouabout.”
Her eyes blink fast, a telltale sign she is nervous “Is everything okay with Aura? You have to make sure she is okay, Kalum.IknowI’vesprungthisonyou,but ”
I’mannoyedwithherfornottellingmeherplanstobringagirlmyagetoliveinmyhouse,enrollherinmyschool,andlet herinvademylife.Iinterrupther.
“Wheredidshecomefrom?Andwhyissheattendingmyschool?”
Mymothersitsupstraight “Watchhow youtalktome,youngman Youmaybeturningeighteenintwoweeks,butyou’ll respectmeandnotquestionmydecisionsinmyownhome.”
“Youknow Idon’tintervenewithyour projectsor whatever youplan,butIdohaveaproblemwhenitinvolvesmylife Thisismysenioryear;youandDadwantmetotakeupcollegeandeventuallytakeoverthebusiness,andI’mfinewiththat.I havenevertoldyouno,butacceptingastrangegirlinourhomeandinvadingmyspaceistakingthingstoofar Idon’twanther cleaningmyroomorattendingmyschool.Outofallthepeopleyoucouldhavehired,whyher?”
Mymotherraisesherhandsanddropstheminherlap.“Becauseshehasnowhereelsetogo,Kalum.”
“Whatis this? Acharitycase? Iknow youlike tohelpinthe community,butthatis her parents’jobtoworryabout Not yours.”
“They’redead,”shesaysquietly
Mythoughts instantlygo to the girl Ihave treated like shitsince Ifirstlaid eyes onher and thenthe waythe guys have treated her. The waySarahthreatened her. Ifprovoked, Sarahand her little crew offriends could cause a lotoftrouble for Aura.
Thenthe memoryofAura’s words come back. She said ifshe had a choice, she wouldn’tbe here. Itmeans there aren’t manyoptionsornoneatall
“I’msorrytohavethrownthisonyouatthelastminute,butAurahasnootherfamily.Herparentswereallshehad.Camila has knownAurasinceshewas achildandknew her parents verywell Shewill beeighteeninthreemonths After thebank soldoffherhomeandtheircar,leavingherwithnothing,thejudgegrantedmetemporarycustodyforninetydaysuntilsheisan adult.Shecanworkonlyfourhoursadayuntilshegraduatesinthreemonths.Thenaftershewouldbeofferedthepositionon ourhouseholdstaff.Thatwastheagreement.Shehasnowheretogo,andIcouldn’tsayno.Youknowhowthatwouldmakeus look.”
Inod,feelinglikeapieceofshit HereIamwithbothmyparents,livingthebestlife,withalltheluxuriesapersoncould want,whenother peoplemournthelossofnotonlyoneparentbuttwo.Iknow mymother isn’tall thatbadandmeanswell. SheishiringAuratoclean Whatismoreirritatingisthatsheismoreworriedabouthowpeopleseeusasafamilyforturning downapoorgirlinneed.Inmymother’smind,wordwouldgetaround,andshewouldberidiculedforbeingasnob.It’snot Aurashereallycaresabout.It’sherimage.
Takingadeepbreath,Iask,“Howdidtheydie?”
Mymother’seyessoften.“Acaraccident.Theydiedinstantly.Aurawaswaitingforthemtocomehomeaftermakingthem dinner AccordingtoCamila,shewouldalwaysmakethemdinnerwhentheyworkedlate”
Inod, feelinglike a bigger dickthanlastnightwhenIbasicallytold her thather boyfriend didn’tcare abouther and is fuckingsomeotherchickbecauseshewasforgettable Shewasn’tcryingbecauseofwhatIsaid Shewascryingbecauseshe missesherparentsandhatesithere.WhichmeansshemusthatemeforhowItreatedher,andIcan’tblameher.Iwouldhate metoo.
“Iunderstand”
ShestandstowalkmeoutthefrontdoorsoIcanheadouttoschool.Shelooksaroundoutsideandfrowns.
“Where’sAura?”mymotherasks
Shit.IforgotthatItoldhertowalktoschoolbecauseIdon’tgiveridestothehiredhelp.Cason’swordsaboutherwalking hauntme Lookingguilty, Igaze atmymother over the roofofmyblackLamborghini, seeingher murderous expression She knowssomethingisupwhenIdon’tanswer.
“KalumSt.Claire,tellmewhereAuraisrightnow,”shedemands. EvenifI’msixfootthreeandbuiltlikeahouse,mymothercanstillmakemefeellikeamousewithherhardtone Wincing,Itellher.“I-IkindoftoldherthatIdon’tgiveridestothehiredhelpandthatshecouldwalktoschool.” “Areyoufuckingcrazy?”
Mymothernevercurses.Butwhatgetsmeisthatsheisn’tmadaboutherwalkingtoschool. Myeyesnarrow.“Itwasonlytoschool.ItoldHenrytopickherupafterschoolafterIrealizedhowmessedupitsounded.” Crossingherarmsoverherchest,Iknow she’supset.“Ifsomethinghappenstothatgirl becauseofyou,youwill beheld responsible.Youwillgoandexplaintoajudgewhyyouwerecarelessandlethergethurt.Itwillfallonyou;nowgetinthat
thingyoucallacarandgofindher.Andmakesureshemakesitsafetoandfromschool.”
“Yes,ma’am.”
She notices I’mannoyed She thinks it’s because she is reprimandingme because of myactions I’mnot annoyed that I messedup.I’mmorepissedoffthatsheisworriedaboutwhatwillhappentoherbecauseofthejudgeandnottoAura.
Drivingdowntheroadtoschool,Idon’tseeAuraanywhere Checkingthetimeonmycar,Iseethatschooldoesn’tstart foranotherhour. Fuck.Mystomachsinks,thinkingtheworst.Slammingmyhandonmysteeringwheel,Idrivethrough thegatesandparkinmydesignatedspotintheschoolparkinglot,noticingthecarsparkedinthesamerow.Theguysare alreadyhere
Gettingout,Iquicklymakeitinsidetowherethelockersare,scanningthehallway,butIdon’tseeanysignofAura.She mustbeherealready Ineedtofindher,evenifIhavetohunteveryinchofthisschooluntilIdo Quicklygettingmyshitfrom mylockerontheoppositesideofthehall,Briansauntersupnexttome.
“Hey,brother?”
“What’sup?”
“Nothing,justleavingCasoninthelibrary.”
Mybrowsfurrow Casoninthelibrary?“Whatthefuckishedoingthere?”
Casonneversetsfootinthelibrary.Thelibraryisforpeoplewithnosociallifeormoney.Wehaveourownlibraryatour ownhomesandthelatestcomputers Thereisnoreasontosetfootinsidetheschoollibrary Thenitdawnsonme,butIaskanyway,“Whatishedoinginthere?”
Ineedconfirmation OnlyonepersonwhoattendsSpencerAcademyiswithoutthesameprivilege
“Morelikewhoishetalkingtoor,rather,whoishetryingtogettoagreetogooutwithhim.Theguyhasitbadforthenew chick.”
Idon’twaitforBriantokeepgoing Myassmoveslikeit’sonfire ThereisnowayIwillallowAuratogooutonadate withCason.Heisn’trightforher.
It’snotthatCasonisabadguy Hehasagreatheartandapromisingfutureasthequarterbackfor Spencer Academy He alreadyhascollegeslinedup,soheonlyhastochoose.Hisparentshavemoneyandplentyofrealestate.
ThisisthefirsttimeI’veseenCasonsmittenwithagirl.It’susuallytheotherwayaround.Girlsknow heisthetypeyou takehometoyourparents.
“Whereareyougoing?”Briancallsout,butIignorehim.
Auraismourningthelossofherparents Allittakesistherighttouchandtherightwordsfromaguyforhertogivein Pushingthe double doors,Ienter the librarywithmore force thannecessary.The librarianlooks up,andher eyes widen whenshenoticesit’sme Yeah,Idon’tcometothelibraryoften Noneoftheguysonthefootballteamdo,andifwedo,it’sto fuckachickintheback.
Thatthoughthasmyheadspinning.Ifhesomuchasputsafingeronher,I’mgoingto…what?Ishouldn’tgiveafuck.Her assisinschool,safeandsoundformymother’speaceofmind.That’sallthatshouldmatter.
Myeyesquicklyscanthetablesuntil Ifindher headlookingdownatabookandCasonspeakingsoftly.Itlookslikeshe isn’tpayingattention,butIknowsheislisteningtowhatevergameheistryingtopullonhertryingtoconvincehertoagreeto whateverheisplanning.Aura’sshouldersaretense.Shedoesn’ttrustCason,andifIwereher,Iwouldn’ttrustanyoneeither. Includingme
“Aura,”Icallout.
Herheadliftswhenshehearsmecallhername.Ican’tlieandnotsaythathernameonmylipsdoesthings.Hernameis beautiful,likethegirl Thegirlisinnocencewrappedinabodymadetoseducemen Herlight-brownhairwithasofttouchof redandthelighttanofher skin.Today,shewearsmakeupinsoft,neutral tones,butit’snotoverdonelikeSarahor theother girls Auradoesn’tevenneedmakeup
Herlegsarecrossedoneovertheother.Iapproachthem,sittingonthewoodtable,andseethatherskirtridesup,showing smoothskinonher sexythigh Mycocktwitches inmypants,andImentallysnapoutofit,tryingnottoembarrass myselfin
frontofher. Casonlooks atme witha slightscowl onhis face, and Igive hima hard stare thatsays what the fuck are you doing?
“Yes,Kalum,”sheanswersinasoftvoice
Jesus, the way she says my name is not making this feeling in my cock any better. Even her voice is intoxicating. The softnesswithwhichmynamerollsoffherlipsmakesmyheartbeatfaster “Wherewereyou?Iwaslookingforyou.”
ShechewsherbottomlipnervouslyandthenlooksatCason Watchingherchewherliphasmewantingtokissthedamage sheisinflictingonthesoftfleshofherlowerlip.Itmakesmewanttogroan.
Ineedtogetlaid.Thinkingaboutthispoorgirllikethatistentypesoffuckedup. HereyesdartbetweenmeandCasonandfinallylandonme
“I-Igothereearlyandleftbeforeyouwerereadytoleave.I-Iwastryingtostayoutofyourwaylikeyouwanted.”
Casoncloseshiseyesandshakeshisheaddisappointedly Sherubsherarms,andyoucantellsheiscold Idon’tfeelhow colditisinsidethelibrarybecauseinsteadofourschoolblazers,thefootballteamwearstheirlettermanjacketsliketheone CasonandIaresporting
“Howdidyougethere,andmoreimportantly,whereisyoursweater?”
“IgotherelikeIdidthefirstday,andIdon’thaveaschoolsweater.”
“Icantakeyoutoschool Youdon’thavetowalk,Aura,”Casonsays Myfistsclenchtomysides.
“Shedoesn’tneedaridefromsomeassholetryingtogetunderherskirt”
“Nah,it’sbetterforsomecreeptosnatchherfromthesideoftheroadbecausethedickheadthatissupposedtogivehera ridehasastickuphisassanddoesn’twanttobeseenwithherinhiscar.Andfortherecord,Kalum.Youknowmebetterthan that.Idon’tneedtogiveagirlacarridetogetunderherskirt.That’sJimmy’sMO.”
He gets up,clearlypissedatme.He looks atAura andbegins totake offhis jacket.Mylipsnarls.“Give her that,andI swear,Cason,you’repushingit,”Iwarn
AurabeginstolooknervouslybetweenmeandCason.Shepushesherseatbacktostand.
“Please,stopit”
WebothlookatherwithmyfistclenchedandCasonfixinghisjacketoverhisshoulders.
“Youguysarefriends,andyoudon’tneedtogetmadateachother.”ShelooksatCason.“Ican’tgooutwithyoubecauseI haveaboyfriend.Iappreciateyoubeingkindtomeandtryingtohelpmeout,butevenifIdidn’thaveMarcus,itwouldn’tbe right.Iworkforhisparents,andtheonlyreasonIattendhereisbecauseofthatfact.Itfeelsawkward,anditprobablymakes Kalumfeel uncomfortablethatyou’retakingoneofhishousekeepersoutonadate You’reagood-lookingguyandyouseem verynice,butlikeyousaid,youcanhaveanygirl.Don’twasteyourtimewithsomeonelikeme.”
Casonfrowns,andhiseyessoften I’mshockedbyherreasonsfornotacceptinganyofhisadvances Sheturnedhimdown gently, but the fact that she mentioned her stupid boyfriend annoys me. Thenher last words that she’s myhousekeeper and couldn’tgooutwithanyoneheremakesmefeelhappy,butthefactthatshesaidheisgood-lookingwhenshetoldmeshefound meunattractiveisahugeblowtomyego
Casonsmiles.“YouthinkI’mgood-looking?”
Thatisallheheardwhensheturnedhimdown Whatadork
Shegiveshimasmile,andholyfuck,hersmileismesmerizing.Casonswallowsbecauseshehasthesameeffectonhimas she has onme She has a sweetness, and the wayshe softens her tone whentryingto reasonwithsomeone has the opposite effect.Allyouhearisthesweetnessofhervoice,andyouforgetthatsheistryingtoletyoudowngently.
“Don’tgetallexcited,butyeah,Ido.”
Mychestsqueezes indefeat Whatthe hell? Casonis agood-lookingguy,butnottosoundlike a conceiteddouche,Iam waybetterlookingthanhim.I’mtaller,havemoremuscleandIhaveabetter-lookingfaceandlet’snotforget,Icantreather betterthanhecan
Casonturns.“Fireher,”hesaysjokingly. Givingthembothasneer,Isay,“Ifitwereuptome,Iwould Unfortunately,mymotheristheonewhoagreedtobringher onboard.Sohereweare.”
Sheflinches.Iknowit’sbecausethatwouldmeanshewouldhavenowhereelsetogo,butnowIdon’tcare.Mypridehas takena secretblow, and Iwon’tlether know thatme knowingshe would have said yes, ifcircumstances would have been different,ismessingwithme.Itshouldn’tbutdoes,andtheassholeinmewantstoseeifshefindsmeasunattractiveasshe claims Sheiseithergoodathidingherfeelingsoraverygoodliar
Lookingat myphone, there is still time to get breakfast. It will take onlyfifteenminutes to pickup a sweater fromthe uniformshopthatopensearlyforstudentswhoneedalterationsordrycleaningandgetaquickcoffee.
“Aura,getyourstuff.Let’sgo.”
Herheadtiltsasshepicksupherstuff.“Where?”
“Whereareyoutakingher?”Casonasksconfused.
“Noneofyourfuckingbusiness,Cason.Sheismyresponsibility,notyours,”Isnapandhebacksoff.
“Iamnot ”
Mynostrilsflare.“Aura.Let’sgo,”Isayinahardtone,I’mtryingnottobeadicktoher,butI’mtickedoff.
She says her goodbyes tomybestfriend The one Iwanttopunchinhis smugface rightnow She follows me outofthe library,andsomestudentswhogethereearlylookoveratmewithAuratrailingbehindme,givinguscuriousstares.Everyone knowsthatsheworksinmyhouseasahousekeeperafterschoolforfourhoursbyyourstruly
Itprobablymakesmeanasstooutherlikethat,butIwaspissedatmyparentsandatherforintrudinginmylife.Theworst partisIwanther.IwanthertowantmelikeIwanther.
Shefollowsmetomymatte-blackLamborghiniAventador,andshelooksconfused,notknowingwhattodo “Getin,”Idemand.
Shestandsthere,bitingthelowerlipIfindsosexy Iwalkovertoopenthedoorasitlifts,Irealize,shit,IforgotthatItold herIdidn’twantherridinginmycar.
OnceIhaveherbuckledin,myeyestrailoverhersmooththighsasherskirtridesupinthelowsportscar AsI’mleaning insidethecar,myheadtilts,andI’mlost.IfIdon’tcoverAura,Iwillnotmakeitwithheraloneinmycar.Provingmytheory thatshedoesfindmeattractivewillbeharderthanIthought.
Walkingaroundtothedriver’sside,Islidemylettermanjacketoffbeforeslidinginsidethecar WhenIstartthemassive engine,Idrapemyjacketoverherthighs.
Hereyesfindmine,andshelooksrelieved “Thankyou,”shesayssoftly “Ofcourse.”
Wearriveattheshoppingcenterwheretheuniformstoreandbreakfastcaféarelocated,andIhopoutofthecar,opening thedoorforher.
Onceinsidethestore,Iwalkuptowheretheschoolsweatersarelocatedforgirls.Ipickoneandhandittoherforherto tryon Shewalksoverandgetsthigh-highsocksandentersthedressingroom Fuckme,notthethigh-highsocks
After five minutes, the ladyat the counter eyes me warily. She knows who I am, and the fact that I’mhere witha girl probablyhasheraskingsilentquestionsbecauseIamnotexclusivewithanygirl,includingSarah
We justhookup for a quicklaywithno attachments or emotions. Atleastnotfor me. Iwould make itofficial withher becausewehangoutwithourfriends.TheonlyissuewithSarahisherjealousrants,butIusuallyturnablindeyeandignore them.Ihaveneverfallenforagirl.Sarahisjustconvenient,andeveryguywantsher.Sheisprettywithanicefigure,butsheis asnobwithatrustfund.Herattitudeisn’tanybetter.
Icanappreciateagorgeousgirl,butIwouldn’tlosemyheadoverone That’swhythisthingIhavewithAuraneedstobe checked.Maybescaringherwoulddothetrick.Shesaysshehasaboyfriend.Shemayhavehadone,butthereisnowaythey areserious Notnowwithwhathappenedtoherparentscausinghertomoveawayandintomyhouse
Enteringthedressingroom,Iquicklyclickthelatchshutonceinside.ThesightofAurabendingdowninherschool skirt withherthigh-highsocksonhasmefrozeninplace.Icanseethecreaseofherasswhenitmeetsthebackofherthighandfuck me,sheiswearingthosesexyboyshorts
Mycockgetshardlikearodofsteelinmyuniformtrousers,provingwhatIassumedallalongsincelayingmyeyesonher thefirsttime Aurahasadeliciousass,morethanmybighandscangrasp Sheinstantlystraightensandturnstowardmewith herhandoverherchestwhenshenoticesmeinsidethefittingroom,silentlywatchingher.
Shecrossesherarmsoverherchestdefensively “Whatareyoudoinghere?”
Iwalkuptoheruntilherbackisupagainstthewall.Herheadtilts,andherfloweryscenthitsme,andIgetlostinher.My handcaressesherfaceslowly.Herbreathscomeoutinsoftpants,andIcantellshe’snervous. “Ilied”
Herbrowspinchinconfusion.“Aboutwhat?”
Mychestrisesandfallsfasterwitheachbreath Thisgirlaffectsmelikenoother,andIcan’texplainit AllIcandoisact onwhatI’mfeeling,andwhatI’mfeelingiscrazy.
IwanttobeballsdeepinsideherwhileImakehercome,watchingherscreammynameasImakehermine Iwantherto acknowledgeshefindsmeattractiveandthatthisattractionisnotone-sided.ItistheonlythingIwantfromherrightnow.
Mylipshoveroverhers,andI’mrelievedshedoesn’tpullawayorprotest.“Ithinkyou’rebreathtakinglygorgeous.” Sheraisesabrow “Butyousaidyoufoundmeuglyandunattractive”
Myheaddipsnearherear,andIwhisper,“DoesitfeellikeIfindyouunattractive?”MylipsareinchesfromtheskinIam dyingtokiss Iwanttoknowwhatshefeelslikeonmylips “Youfeelit,too Don’tyou,Aura?”
Shepullsbacktotakeabreath.“Yes,Kalum.Ifeelit,”sheadmits.
Shefeelsthepull,liketwomagnetsthatwanttosnaptowardeachotherwhentheyarenear.Myeyesclose,andthebacks oftwofingersslidedowntohernecksoIcanfeelherpulsebeat,anditisbeatingrapidly.Auradoessomethingtome.Sheis permanentlyinsidemyhead.
“You’resobeautiful.Ithurts,”Itellher.Herheadslowlylifts,andherbrowngazefindsmine.Hersoft,velvetylipspart.I want to kiss her, but I know I can’t. Aura is fragile right now, and I would be no better than any other guy trying to take advantageofhervulnerability “Doesthismeanyoufindmeattractive?”
Herpinktonguepeeksoutfromherpartedlips,andablushappearsonhercheeks.Igiveheragrin,raisingmybrowand waitingforheranswer
“Yes,”shefinallysays.
“Ineedyoutodosomethingforme,”Isaysoftly,ourbodiesinchesapartwithmyfingersstillrestingonherneck Sheisso muchshorterthanme.Shecan’tbeanymorethanalittleoverfivefeettall.
“Okay.”
“Don’tevertakeanotherman’sjacket Ifyouneedone,Iwillmakesureyouhaveone” Shenods.
“Fromnowon,I’lltakeyoutoschool Youdon’twalkalone Isthatunderstood,Aura?” Shenodsagain.
“Words,sweetheart Ineedwords”
“Yes,Kalum.”
“Weareattractedtoeachother,butitdoesn’tmeananything.”
Thelightinhereyesdims,andshemovessoIhavenochoicebuttodropmyhandfromherneck IknowwhatIsaidisnot whatsheexpectedtohear,butIwasprovingapoint,andImadeit.Missionaccomplished.
Nothing can happen between us We are too different, and we come fromseparate worlds It wouldn’t be fair to her Somethingpassesoverherfeatures,andithasmeworriedbecauseshefreezesandherchinlifts.Herlipsformathinline,and hereyesflashinanger.
“Fine,butdon’ttouchmelikethateveragain.Areweclear?Imaybeattractedtoyouphysically,butemotionally,I’mnot. Thefactthataguywantstokeephisattractiontoagirlasecretcanonlymeanonething.”
“Yeah,andwhatisthat?”Iquip,annoyed
“Youareashamedofit.Youdon’twantanyonetoknowbecauseyoucaretoomuchaboutwhatpeoplethink.Igetwhyyou cameinhere Youjustwantedtoproveyourpoint Youwon Happynow?”
I’mnothappy.I’vemadethingsworsebyhurtingher.She’sright,butIwasn’tpreparedtofeelthisattractiontoher,andI don’tevenknowher.
She’sourhousekeeper.ThisisnotsomegirlIcanbangandtossaside.Shesleepsintheroomnexttomine.Iwouldhaveto lookatherafterI’mdonewithher.
“Youknowwhat?”Istepbackwithmyhandonthelatchtothedressingroomdoor “You’reright I’msorry Iactedlikea jerk, and I tookadvantage of you. It was a mistake, and it shouldn’t have happened. Youworkinmyhouse, and once you graduate,youwillbesomeonemyparentshiretoclean”
Shestiffens,andthelookofhurtacrossherfacealmosthasmetakingthewordsback. Almost.
Shesmoothsoutheruniform,andIhavetoadmireherpride Icansenseshewantstotellmetogoscrewmyself,butitwill nothelphercauseorhersituation.
WhenIturnaroundtoleave,slidingthelatch,herwordsstopme
“Don’t worry, Kalum St. Claire. I’ve learned from my mistakes in allowing you this close to me. We can forget this conversationeverhappened,butdon’tyouevertellmewhosejacketIcanwearbecauseitcertainlywillnotbeyours” Ineverexpectedherwordstohitmelikeaspearinmyback,andIinstantlyregretwhatIsaid.
Shecontinues.“Imaybethehiredmaid,butyoudon’townme,andIsureashelldon’tbelongtoyou.Ifyoucomeatme again, I will kick you so far in your balls that you will have to artificially inseminate the day you want to have kids Understood?”
Inod,knowingIhaveruinedwhateverchanceIhadwithher Ifuckedup,butit’sbetterthisway Ishouldfeelelated,but allIfeelisempty.AlossIcan’texplain.WordsIknowIcan’ttakebackbecausethedamageisdone.
Couldmylifegetanyworse?Afterhavingthemostgorgeousguyadmithefindsmebeautiful,hestepsbackandsaysthat I’mthehiredhelpandhewasjusttryingtoproveapointtoseeifIfeelthesameway. Itstung.
IgetthatwearefromdifferentsocialclassesandthatIdon’tfitin,buthavingsomeonesayittoyourfacehurts
What an asshole.
Theattractionisthere,thatmuchisobvious,buthe’snotforme GuyslikeKalumSt Clairearenevertobetrustedwith yourheart,andtheworstpartis,Iknowdeepdownhewouldtakemineandnevergiveitback.
The cafeteria buzzes withstudents talkingaboutwhattheywill do over the weekend It’s Friday, and everyday, Kalum waitsformetogetinhiscar.Ihaveevenfiguredouthowthedoorworks.
Sarahandhertwofriendsgivemedeathglareseachmorning,andwhenIwaitforhimafterpractice,shealwaysmakesa showtotouchhimormakeoutwithhiminfrontofme Ifheonlyknewhowmuchitturnsmeoffevenmoreforallowingherto doit.
ThesamegirlImetonmyfirstdaysitsatmytableandsmiles “Hi,I’mExie Remembermefromthehallwayonthefirst dayofschool?”
Placingmyhandover mymouthwhileIswallow apieceofhomemadepastasaladCamilaleftfor meintherefrigerator lastnight,Ianswerher.“HowcouldIforget?”
Sheseemsnice,butyoucantellshelovesschoolgossip.Iguessinaplacelikethiswheremoneyisnoobject,it’stheonly thinglefttofeelrelevant “AuraRayne.”
“ExieTurner”Sheleanscloseandlowershervoice “Sohowdidyoudoit?” “I’msorry.Dowhat?”Iask,confused. Whatever itis,other peoplemustnotice.I’mworried,butthenIfeel asenseofreliefwhenshesmiles,her eyes lighting withexcitement.
“GetthefinestguyinSpencerAcademytodroolalloveryoueverytimeyouareinthesameroom.”
Isnicker “I’msorry What?”
“Kalum,silly.”Shewavesherhand.“Iknowyouarelivinginhishouse.Whichmustbecrazy,bytheway.”Hereyesglitter asshetalksanimatedly “Heisalwaysstaringatyou Hehasneverlookedatagirllikethat Ever Period”
“You’re makingthings up. Trust me, he doesn’t like me. He is just watchingme because he wants to make sure Idon’t embarrasshimordosomethinghisparentswon’tapproveof.”
Sheshakesherhead.“Heisnottheonlyonewatchingyou.Casonhasathingforyoutoo,andJimmy…”Sheturnsherhead tolookathim.Hegivesherawink,andshesticksherfingerup,givinghimthebird.
Iinstantlylikeher Sheisfunnyinasarcasticwaybutalwaysseemshappy Itseemslikenothingcanbotherthisgirl She turns, and her gaze lands back on mine. “Stay away from Jimmy. He fucks anything that walks, basically. He’s harmless,butinhismind,ifhethinkshehasachance,hewilltry” “Soundslikeyouknowfromexperience.”
Shesighs.“Yup.Turnedhimdownflat.Notinterested.HecameontomebecauseheknewIhadathingforBrian.” Now,I’mcurious “Who’sBrian?”
“Theonewithdirty-blondhair sittingnexttoWendy.They’reathing,ifthat’swhatyouwanttocall it.Rumor hasitthat SarahissecretlyscrewingJimmyeventhoughshe’spracticallyKalum’sgirl InSarah’smind,theyaretogetherbecauseKalum isalwayswithher,andhenever deniesanythingshesaysabouttheir relationship.Hebrushesitoffbecauseshespreadsher legs or is onher knees whenever hewants DianaandCasonusedtobetogether freshmanyear,butCasonendeditwithher
becauseshewantedmore,andhewasn’tintoherlikethat.Ifyouevergetinvitedtoaparty,youwillseethembanginginoneof theemptyroomsafterhisthirddrink,butyoudidn’thearthatfromme.”
“How interesting ButI’mnotinterested”Itell herthat,butapangofjealousycreepsinsidemeatthementionofKalum andSarah.
IhavetheimageofKalumnakedimprintedinmymindandimagininghertouchinghimandpleasuringhimstirssomething insidemethatmakesmewanttogoovertotheirtable,pullherhair,andtellherheismine.ThenIrememberhowmuchofan assholeheis
“Sowhatisyourstory?”sheasks.
IhesitatebutrememberthatKalummostlikelyknowsallthedetailsandwillopenhismoutheventuallytellingpeoplemy business
Iswallow,andthestingcreeps,butIletoutaslowbreath.“Myparentspassedawaylastmonthinacaraccident.Ihaveno other family Aneighbor knew the St Claires neededtohire someone to help their head housekeeper Rather thanbe sentto fostercarewhenIwillbeturningeighteeninaboutthreemonths,Kalum’sparentsofferedmethespotwithroomandboard,a two-hundred-dollarallowance,andafullyearofpaidtuitiontoattendhere”
Hereyessoften.“Thatsucks.Imean,I’mgladyou’rehere,butnotunderthosecircumstances.Whatschooldidyouattend before?”
“SpencerPublicHigh”
“Ooh.That’sourrivalschoolwhenitcomestofootball.Thisyear,theguysaredeterminedtodominateagain.”Hereyes lightup,andsheasks,“Doyouhaveaboyfriend?”
Isighbecause Marcus still hasn’t called me. Gina either. Iguess Kalumwas right. Theybothforgot about me or that I existed.
“Hadaboyfriend.Hesayswearestilltogether,butIdoubtit.”
“Whoisthisso-calledboyfriend?”Sheputsherfingersinsilentquotationmarks.
“Marcus StartingquarterbackforSpencerPublicHigh” Hereyesalmostbugout.“You’reshittingme?”Ishakemyhead.“Thisisgoingtobefun.” “Whyisthat?”
Shesnickers.“Let’sjustsayKalumandyourexhavehistoryonthefield.Kalumsackshimeverygame,andtheyalwaysget ineachother’sfaces.Youneedtobeatthatgame.It’snextweekend.Itwillgiveyouachancetoseehim.Icanpickyouup, andwecouldgotogether?Itwouldbesomuchfun.”
There’sthatwordagain fun. Weexchangephonenumbers,andExiegetsmeuptospeedwiththerestoftheschoolgossip Shetellsmenottofeelbad aboutmysituationlivingwiththeSt.Clairefamilyandtolookatthebrightside Isleepnextdoortooneofthehottestguysin allofSpencerAcademy
Sheisn’twrong.Theexpanseofhishard-muscledchestandbicepsmakesmymouthwater.Mypantiesalmostmeltedright offwhenhetoldmehefoundmebeautifuluntilhisnextwordscrushedthefeelinglikeabeautifulflowerthatsprouted,anda bootstompedonit ItquestionedmyrelationshipwithMarcusandmadeitseemlikeanattractionstraightoutoffourthgrade
Kalumpullsinsidethegarage Heplacesthecarinpark,andhegrabsmywristbeforeIcangetout Goosebumpsbreak outall over myskin,andhis fingers wraparoundmyarm.Myheartbegins torace.EverytimeKalumtouches me,my bodyrespondslikeithasbeenawakenedfromadeepsleep.Ithoughtitwouldhavegoneawaybynow,butbasedonmy body’sreaction,it’sonlygottenworse
“Areyougoingtocleanmyroom?Inoticedithasbeencleanedsincethefirsttimeyouwerethere,butIhaven’tseenyou.”
Removingmywristfromhisgrasp,Imovethestrandofhairthathasfallenandsigh “Ithoughtyourmothertoldyou” He pinches his brows, and I notice a crease forms when he does, but he still is good-looking. How can a guy make frowninglookgood?ThereisnothingwrongwithKalum’sfaceorbody Butwherethereisbeauty,thereisadangerousdose ofalphahole.
“Toldmewhat?”heasks.
“SinceyouwantedspaceandwereannoyedthatIhadtocleanyourroom,IswitchedwithCamila Insteadofhergoingto getthe groceries withHenry,Iwill be going,andCamila will cleanyour roomwhile you’re atschool. She will leave your laundryformetotakecareofwhenIgetbackfromgroceryshopping,andIwillleaveitcleanandfoldedinyourroom Iwill alsotakeupherotherdutiesaroundthehouse.”
Hismouthformsagrimline,andhisvoicehasastrangeedge “Noproblem Soundslikeyouhaditallthoughtout”
Withoutallowingmetorespond,hejumpsoutofthecar,andIfollow,closingthepassengerdoorgently.Iturnslightlyand noticeHenryalreadywaitingforme.
Whatever Kalumcomplainsaboutmebeingaround,andthenwhenIgivehimwhathewants,he’sstillupset KalumnoticesI’mnotfollowinghimwhenIwavetogetHenry’sattention.Henrygivesmearespectablenod,andit’shis wayofgreetingme
CamilaintroducedmetoHenrywhenKalum’smother gavemethegrandtour ofthehouseonmyseconddayhere.Heis quiet,dependable,anddoesn’tsayaword.
Kalumstandsinfrontofthedoorwayleadinginsidethehouse,andIcanfeelhisheatedstareonmyback.Iconvincedhis mothertoswitchmytaskswithCamilabecauseKalumfeltuncomfortablewithmeinhispersonalspace.Shewasreluctantand expressedthatshewouldtalktoKalum,butIassuredheritwasn’tnecessary Itisawaytoescapeonmyownandgotothe grocerystore.SomethingIlovedtodowithmymomsoIcouldmakethemdinnerbeforetheymadeithomeafteraharddayat work
WhenIwasinmiddleschool,IwantedtohelpmyparentsasmuchasIcould,somakingthemdinnerwasonewayIcould givemymotherabreak,andmyfatherwouldbehappythathecouldspendtherestoftheeveningwithmymotherasacouple. “I’llberightout,Henry,”Icallout.
Hegivesmehisusualnodagainandslidesintothedriver’ssideofthesleekblackcartowait.Iswear,atfirst,Ithought themanwasdeafandcouldn’thear Hehardlysaystwowords Kalumleansagainsttheopendoorwaywithhisshoulderagainstthemolding. “WhereisHenrytakingyou?”
Igivehimalook.“Thegrocerystore,”Ianswer,walkingtowardtheopendoorway.Hestraightens likeatall statueand tiltshisheaddown,watchingmewalkintothehouse.HismanlyscentmixedwithhiscologneislikeabreezeasIwhiskby him
I’mmakingmywayuptheimpressivestaircasewithmyhandontheblackironrailing,takingonestepandthenthenext. Kalumfollowsme,takinghistimeupthestepstrailingme
I’mexcitedtogetoutofthehouseandbegintoquickenmypace.Imakeittothetopandenterthehallwayleadingtomy bedroomtodropmybackpackandretrievemylittlewalletincaseIneedtobuymyselfsomething Ihavemoneysavedfrom
mybraceletsales,andMrs.St.Clairehasgivenmethetwohundredaspromisedeveryweek.I’msavingeverycenttogetout ofhereunlessthereissomethingIhavenochoicebuttobuy,likefeminineproducts.
Iquicklymakemywaydownthestairs,tryingtoshakethegriefIwillalwaysfeelinsidemyheart Islowmypacebecause Kalumwalksbrisklydownthestairs.
Hepausesandtakesthenexttwostepsdowntobeatmylevel Ilowermygazehidingmyexcitementtogetoutofthehouse andgosomewherewherenooneisjudgingme,andIcanbemyself.
Marcus once told me he cared about me deeply We were together for three years and always spent time together He respected me, and Iwas attracted to him. Buthe never gave me butterflies inmystomachand never looked atme the way Kalumdoes.It’sliketimestopsandeverythingfadesaway.
WhenKalumwatchesme,hethinksIdon’tseehimfromthecornerofmyeyeinclassorwhenhedrivesmetoschool,butI feelit.It’slikeheistryingtopeelmebackalayeratatimetoseewhatIlooklikeunderneath,tryingtofiguremeout.Itislike timestopsandeverythingfadesaway
Heturnshisheadslightlybeforehetakesthenextstepupthestairs.
“Becareful,”hemutters
GrippingmysmallwalletanxiouslywithmybankcardandthecardCamilagavemetopurchasethegroceriesfortheSt. Clairehousehold,Ianswersoftly,“Iwill.”
After leavingthe house, Henrymakes the ten-minute drive to a shoppingstrip withanupscale grocerystore, a consignment store,andboutiqueshops Myeyesscantherestoftheareaandnoticethatadjacenttotheparkinglotisashopthatfixesstreet race cars and offers modifications to other types ofvehicles. Whatcaptures myattentionis a beautiful blackJeep Wrangler withaforsalesign
Myeyeslightup,andIglanceatHenryfromthebackseat.“Henry,woulditbetoomuchtroubleifIwentovertherebefore headinginsidethegrocerystore?”Ipointbehindmetowardtheautomotiveshop
He looks over atwhere I’mpointingand checks the time. We headed outearlyenough. Itwould give me enoughtime to inquireabouttheJeep.
Hegivesmeanod,andIgrin,wonderinghowmuchtheywouldwantforthebeautiful,shinyJeep MymotherlovedJeeps Shetoldmeshehadtosellhersbackincollegebecauseshewaspregnantwithmeandneededthemoney.Shewouldshowme picturesofhowfunitwaswhenyouunzippedthesoftcoverandcouldfeelthebreezeinyourhairwhiledriving
Tearsburnthebacksofmyeyeswhenthinkingaboutmymomandallheramazingstories.Shewasbeautifulandkindand alwayshadawaywithwords
MyfatheralwayssaidIremindedhimofherwhentheyfirstmet.HesaidIlooked likeherandwasn’tsurprisedthatMarcusimmediatelyaskedmeoutonadatefreshmanyear.
Whenmyparents died,sodideverythingelse Itsnuffedthe lightinmylife Everyone andeverythingIknew diedwith them, only leaving precious memories. As for Marcus, it’s disappointing when you realize you weren’t as important to someoneasyouthoughtyouwere Hisavoidanceandhissilenceareproofofthat Igetoutofthecar,notgivingHenryenoughtimetoopenmydoorinmyhaste,andheadovertotheshop.Lookingatthe closedgaragedoor,Inoticeasignthatreads, We’re open AC inside
Turningtheknobtotheofficedoor,Ienterandnoticeasmallofficeandfivestreetracingcarssuspendedondifferentlifts. TheplacelookslikeamodernversionofaracecarshopyouseeonTV.
The garage floor gleams like a mirror, and everythinglooks organized Red toolboxes and shelves alignthe walls, and I noticethisisnotjustyourtypicalmechanicshop.Thisisastreetperformancegroupthatspecializesinbuildingcarstorace.
Walkingfartherintothegaragethatsmellslikefaintgasandoil,Icallout,“Hello?” “Givemeaminute.”Ihearaman’svoice,butwhenIlookaround,Idon’tseeanyone.Thereisasuddennoiseofsomething hitting metal. When I look under one of the sports cars on my left, I see a man dressed in mechanic overalls lying on an automotivemechanicbedunderthecar.
“Oh,okay.IwasjustinquiringabouttheJeepyouhaveforsaleoutfront,”Isayinasoftvoice.
Hegrunts,andsomethingslipsandfallswithathud “Isaid,givemeaminute,”hesays,raisinghisvoiceinanaggressive tonethatmakesmeflinch.Hisdeep,manlyvoicedoesn’tsoundlikeheisold.
Checkingthetimeonmyphone,IrealizeI’mtakingtoolongandneedtoheadbackbeforeI’mlate Leavingmenochoice buttoleaveandcomebackanotherday.
Takingadeepsigh,Iturntoleave.“I’msorrytohavecaughtyouatabadtime.Haveaniceday,”IsayasIwalkaway. Whatis wrongwithpeople inthis partofSpencer? Theyare so rude and entitled Theythinktheycantreatpeople like crap.
Thesoundofwheels slidingover concreteechointhe garage,butIignore itbecauseIneedtogetback ThelastthingI
needisforMrs.St.ClairetoregretherdecisioninallowingmetoswitchtaskswithCamila.KalumhasbeenmoodysinceI showedupandcrashedhissenioryear.AvoidinghimisthebestthingIcanofferandthebesttherapyforhishate.Havingher regretherdecisionisnotanoptionforme
Myhandreachesthehandleofthedoortoexitthegarage,andthesoundoffootstepsreachesme.Thedoorswingsopen, andI’mabouttostepoutsidewhentheman’svoicehasmestoppingalmostinmidstride
“Iapologizefor beingrudebackthere,”hesays.This time,his voiceis adeeprumble.“Yousaidyouwantedtoinquire abouttheJeep?”
WhenIturnaroundslowly,myeyesmeetadarkbrowngaze.Hiseyescaressmyfaceforasecondlongerthannecessary andthenheclearshisthroatandlooksdownathishandssmudgedwithoilandgrease.
Helooks aroundandfinds araglyingacross ametal traywithwheels andretrieves itquickly Heis surprisinglyyoung His darkhair is straight, and he has nicelyshaped eyes withdarklashes. He reminds me ofa youngJoshHartnettwhenhe playedinthemovie Here on Earth,excepthisarmsaremoremuscularanddefined Heiswearingatanktopunderhiswork overalls,and his forearms are well cordedwithmuscle froma manwhoworks dayinand dayoutas Iwatchhimwipe his hands,attemptingtocleanthem
Thedoorisstillopen,andmybodyturnsbackinthedirectiontoleavebecauseIhavewastedtoomuchtimeandanswer himasIcontinuetowalkoutthedoor.
“Yes,I’msorrytohavebotheredyou,butIdon’thavemuchtimeandhavetogetgoing”
Myeyes squintagainstthe sunsettinginthe skyfrombeinginside the garage, and Igive myselfa minute for myeyes to adjustbeforemakingmywaydowntheparkinglot
“Shit.”Ihearhimswearsoftlyashequicklycatchesupwithme.Hewalksaheadofmeandturnstofaceme,causingmeto stop.“AreyoureallyinterestedintheJeep?”
“Yes,Iwas,butIhavetogetgoing,orI’mgoingtobelate.”
“Ifyoudon’tmindmeasking,lateforwhat?”
MychintiltsupbecausethelastthingIneedismorejudgmentaboutmysituation Idon’tknow why,butItell him “For work.I’mlateforwork.”
“Wheredoyouwork?”
“Doesitmatter?”
He crosses his arms over his chestand Inotice he has tattoos ofdifferentcars and gears withletters writtenacross his forearmsthatread, If it’s fast, I built it. Hisgazelooksovermyuniform,andhequirksabrow.“IhavenevermetanyonewhoattendsSpencerAcademytohavea job”
Thatmakessense.Idon’tthinkanyonewhohaseverattendedSpencerAcademyknowsthemeaningofajob. “Nowyoudo”
Hedoesn’tneedtoknowwhyIhaveajobbecauseitisnoneofhisbusiness,butthatdoesn’tstopmefromasking,“How wouldyouknow?”
Hesmirks “BecauseIgraduatedlastyear,andI’mtheonlyonewhohaseverworkedthatattendedthere Idon’tremember seeingyouthere.”
“Alotofkidsattendthere,”Ichallenge Heangleshishead.“Iwouldhaverememberedyou.”
Isheflirtingwithme?Ican’ttell Hisexpressionishardtoread,andyoucouldtellhedoesn’ttalkmuch I avert mygaze. “I transferred to Spencer Academyto complete mysenior year.” Myeyes find his again. “Do youask everyonethismanyquestionswhentheyaskabouttheJeep?”
Heuncrosseshisarmsandslideshishandsinsidethepocketsofhisoveralls “I’msorry Iwascurious NooneatSpencer AcademywouldwanttobuyaJeep.”
Hehasapoint ThecarsIseethekidsdrivearehigh-endcarsyouseeatexclusivedealerships IlookpasthimandrealizeI’mlate.“Look,Ireallyhavetogetgoing.” “Youwanttostopbyafterwork?”heasks
“Ican’t.Idon’thaveawaytogethere.KindawhyI’minquiringabouttheJeep.” “IcouldbringtheJeeptoyousoyoucouldlookatit.”
IturnmyheadandlookattheJeep,admiringtheruggedtiresandshinyblackpaint Ilookup,andheiswaitingformeto decide.“That’snotpossible,andIdon’tevenknowyou.”
Hestretcheshishandout “I’mLaneTurner,andIownTurnerRacing” Myhandtwitchestoshakehishand,butInoticehishandsarestilldirtywithoil.Itwouldtakemealongtimetogetthatoff myskin.Ican’ttouchgrocerieswithdirtyhands.
“MynameisAuraRayne.Idon’tmeantoberude.Iwouldshakeyourhand,butit’sdirty.”
He lowers his hand. “Right. Sorry,” he says, looking at his dirty hands and sliding theminside his pockets. He looks
