Going Down on the Farm (Hell Bent for Leather 5) MM Rain Carrington
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Going Downonthe Farm RainCarrington Copyright©2024RainCarrington
CoverCopyright©2024RainCarrington
Allrightsreserved
Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,businesses,places,eventsandincidentsareeithertheproductsoftheauthor’simaginationorusedinafictitiousmanner.Any resemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,oractualeventsispurelycoincidental
Thepurchaseofthisebookallowsyoutoonlyonelegalcopyforyourownpersonalreadingonyourownpersonaldeviceorcomputer YoudoNOThaveresellor distributionrightswithoutthepermissionofthepublisherandcopyrightownerofthisbook Donotcopyinanyway
Warning:Thisbookcontainsscenesofsexualsituationsbetweentwoormoreconsentingmen TherearealsoscenesofBDSM Pleasetonotattemptanyoftheactivities inthisbookwithoutknowinghowtobesafe
Agreeingtoreadthisbook,pleaseunderstandthatit’sfiction Notallactswillbespokenaboutonpage,butit’sunderstoodthateachactissafe,saneandconsensual
EditedandformattedbyDoubleAAuthorServices
Triggerwarnings:Bondage,spanking,guns,injury,hospital,blood,pain
Kinks:Bondage,spankings,pain,denial,toys.
Foreword
1.ChapterOne
2.ChapterTwo
3.ChapterThree
4.ChapterFour
5.ChapterFive
6 ChapterSix
7.ChapterSeven
8 ChapterEight
9.ChapterNine
10 ChapterTen
11.ChapterEleven
12 ChapterTwelve
13.ChapterThirteen
14 ChapterFourteen
15.ChapterFifteen
16 ChapterSixteen
17.ChapterSeventeen
18 ChapterEighteen
19.ChapterNineteen
20 ChapterTwenty
21.ChapterTwenty-One
22 ChapterTwenty-Two
23.ChapterTwenty-Three
24.ChapterTwenty-Four
25.ChapterTwenty-Five
26.ChapterTwenty-Six
27.ChapterTwenty-Seven
28.Epilogue
29.AlsobyRainCarrington
30.AboutRainCarrington
Foreword ThisisnotsimplythelastbookinHellBentforLeather,butit’salsoaprequelforBigSkyCowpokes,mynextcowboykink seriesthatwillbegindroppingin2024.
So, it will be added to bothseries There won’t be a need to read this to read BigSkyCowpokes, but it’s here incase someoneneedstoseehowthesethreemengottogether.
Thanksforyoursupportandlove, Rain
ChapterOne SITTINGONTHESMALLporchofthecabin,I,JaceConroy,thoughtofthedayI’dhad.Threechickswerefoundinthesmall pensaved for roostinghens. Those were the first chicks of manythat would be the next generationof workers that would producetheeggsthecompany,BelishEggs,wouldsell
Iwashiredayearagotomanagethefarm.Myemployer,KenrickBelish,wasnewlymarried,hadalittleboythatwasfour yearsold,andanotherthatwasjustfinishinghisfirstyearofcollege
Withsomuchgoingonpersonally,Rickhiredmetotakethatburdenfromhim.He’dalsojustgivenuphismayoralposition. Forhim,hisfamilycamefirst Iadmiredthat,thoughIhadnofamily,nopartner,toputbeforemywork
I’d beeninvited oftento hangoutwiththe Belishmenand their friends. They’d takenme into their friend group withno question,andIfeltforthefirsttimeinyearsthatIbelonged.
TheonlythingIhatedaboutbeingwiththosemenwastheglaringreminderIwastheoddmanout,beingIhadnopartnerlike theyalldid.Thatwasroughformemostofthetime.SeeingtheabsolutelovebetweenthemenmadeitmoreobviousthatIhad noone
I’dhadplentyoffunattheclubthatthreeofthemenownedinthearea.CowpokeswasaBDSMclubthathadbeenbuiltina barnonthe propertyofDamonStreet,Burke Monteleone,andJoel Barnes.Theyopena couple ofweekends a month.Their propertywas a resort for the mencomingto play, invitingguests to walkthe woods and fields, ride horses and enjoythe country.Then,atnight,they’dwalkintotheclubandrealizetheirdirtiestfantasies.I’dhadplentyoffuntherewithseveralmen overtheyears,butnoonestuck
I’mnot a braggart. I’ve never thought I was so great. As far as beinga bigguy, I was at sixfeet tall and muscled from workingfarmsandranchesallmylife There,however,Ifeltdwarfedbythementhatweremynewfriends HudsonMcCleod, orHudtohisfriends,alonewassixinchestallerthanme.RyanCallahanwasclosetothat,too.Burkewasrightontheirheels, soIwasn’tthebiggestmanintheroomanylongerunlessIwasalone. Iwasalonealot.Well,exceptforthechickens.
NotthatI’mcomplaining.I’vehadmyshareofrelationships,andtheywereallprettydecent,thoughnonemeshedwithme wellenoughtomakemelongforapartner Ienjoyedmyprivacy,butImissedwakingupwithsomeone
Thatwasdowntheline.For themoment,Iwaslovingthenew place.ItwasexactlywhereIwantedtobe.Themountains aloneremindedmeofmyWyomingupbringing Beingsofreetoruninthewild,Iwasnearlyferal Thoseoldfeelingscameup again,thoughitwasnearlytwentyyearssinceI’dlefttheranchatseventeen.Strikingoutonmyown,Ifoundoutlifewasn’t whatithadbeenonthatranch.
Isawacardrivingontheolddirtroadthatwasbarelythat Itwasmoreoftwodusttrailsintheweeds,butthereitwent,and mydefensesraisedbeforeIremembered.ChandlerBelishwasbackfromcollegeandsalivatingtogethishousebuiltonthe piece ofland his father had givenhimfor his goingawaygift Agiftthatscreamed please come home whenyou’re finished withschooling.
Itwassweet,howRicklovedhisboys Kanan,too,hadbecomeafathertothemsinceheandRickhadfallenforoneanother Theywere all about their little familyand their new marriage. Chandler had alreadystated he was cominghome whenhe finishedgradschool,whichwasstillyearstocome.
Igotupandtookthebinocularsfromthetablejustinsidethedoorofthecabin IwantedtomakecertainitwasChandler,so whenmylensesfocusedandIsawanothermanthere,withlong,curlyhair,Ihurriedtogettomytruckandstartheadingthere. AfterIpulleduptoseethemanmoreclearly,helookedterriblyfamiliar Helookedovermywayandgaveawavebefore headingtomeasIexitedthebigbluetruckI’dhadforadecade.Hissmilewaswarm,andhishairblewbackinthebreeze. Beautiful,yeah,hewas Hehadapairofglassesthatkeptslidingdownhisnose,remindingmeofabookwormI’dknownin highschool. He had a tablet inhis hand and was wearingcasual business attire, button-downblue shirt and nice slacks. I
thoughtquicklyhe’dchosenthewrongclothingforsuchatripinthewoods.
“Heythere!”Hecalled,comingwithinfeetofme.“You’re…Jace,right?”
“Iam Youare?”
IhopedIdidn’tsoundtooaggressive,butifhehadnobusinessthere,I’dbemuchworsethanthat.
“RolandBrady,” he said,closingthe restofthe space betweenus toholdouthis handtome “Architectthatwill be here quiteabit,I’msure.”
ThearchitectthathaddesignedCowpokes “Oh,hell,sorry,Ijustwasn’tsureyouweren’tlostonprivateproperty” Heflippedhishair over hisshoulder beforelookingmeupanddownquickly.“I’veseenyouatCowpokes,”hesaid,then blushedwildlyoverhisnoseandcheeks.
That’swhereIknew himfrom Helookedquitedifferent,though ThelasttimeI’dnoticedhim,hishairwasstraighterand short.“Mustbeyourhair.”
“Istoppedfightingitandletitgrowoutsome Iwassurpriseditdarkenedtheminuteitstartedgrowing”
He’dbeenprettyblond,yeah,Iremembered.“Itlooksgood,”Isaid,thenasked,“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
“Oh, right, well, Burke called me whenhis friend, RickBelish, was lookingfor anarchitect Seems his sonis lookingto buildaplacehere.”
Chandler.Itmadesense.“Andyou’vegotthejob?”
Ashelaughed,hesaid,“Yes,aftertensketchesandtheirarguingoverthesizeoftheplace,I’mfinallyallowedtocomeand lookitovertoseeexactlywhatbotharetalkingabout.Ihavetoadmit,I’dhatealltheonesIdidtoo,seeingthisinpersonnow. Thepicturesreallydidn’tmakeadentinhowbeautifulitis”
“I’dimagine.Thisplaceis…heaven.Well,I’llleaveyoutolookaroundthen.”
He shookmyhand again, and while our hands were interlocked, he asked shyly, “Will I see youaround here while I’m working?”
“I’dimagine,asIworkandlivehere,”Isaid,smilingalittleshylymyself.Thatwasstrange,asIwasrarelyshy.
“And,maybeat Cowpokes?”
Thenextopenweekendwascoming,andIhadplannedtogo.“Yes,I’llbethere.” “Good I’llseeyouthere”
Ishookhishandagainandsmiled,alittlelessshyly.“Good,”Isaidsimply,feelingabitmoremyself.
Iwasadominant,bornandbredthatway,asIfigured.Ialwayswantedtobeincharge,makethecallsandmorethanthat, whenIhadaman,Ilivedtotakecareofthem.I’dseenRolandaroundandIknew hewassubmissive,andwithhisbeauty,I couldpicturehimboundtoapoleawaitingwhateverIhadinstoreforhim.
Infact,thatwasexactlywhatIdidonthewaybacktomycabin Ipicturedit,hissmallwristsboundinleathercuffs,arms abovehiscurlyhead,sweetcherrylipspartedashewaitedforthepainI’ddealtohim… Yeah,badtimingthatmyphonewentoffatthatprecisemoment,andafterseeingthecallerID,theerectionIwassportingleft mequickly.“Heyboss,”IsaidasIsatinfrontofmycabin.
“Jace,hey,canyoumaybecometothehouse?We’vehadsomeissues,andI’dlikeyoutobepartoftheconversation.” “Anythingwrong?”
There was a pause, but then he said, “Yes. A man who’s been trying to kill Eli and Noah is out of prison. And…he’s coming”
ChapterTwo IARRIVEDATRICK’Slogmansion,andyeah,Iknowhowthatsounds,butthat’swhatthehousewas.Ithadtwostoriesand animmenseatticwithwindowsallaroundtocatcheveryinchofthescenery.Itjustsohappenedtobemadetolooklikeagiant logcabin
Ilikedmytinyonejustfine.
Therewereahalfdozencarsandpickupsaroundthedrive,liketheywerehavingapartyinsteadofameeting Igottothe frontdoorandsawthroughthescreendoorKanancomingtomeetme.“Jace,hi,howareyou?”
“I’vebeenbetter,”IsaidasIenteredthehouse
Kanan shook my hand and lowered his voice to fill me in a little. “This man that has been plaguing Eli and Noah was releasedbecauseofovercrowding.Theythinkit’sbecausehe’sstillgotalotofmoney,andpaidofftherightpeople,but…” “Didheactuallytrytokillthem?”
“Hedid.Hewenttotheirranchwithagun,butJoelchasedhimoff,”Kanansaidproudlyofhisfriend.
Afterheledmethroughthefoyerandtotheleft,wewereintheirdiningroom Therewasatablethatwouldseattwelve,of whichIwasthetwelfthmanthere.
Aroundthe table were Eli James-Oliver andhis husband,Noah.Totheir rightwere BrettLincoln,his husband,Ryan,and theirboyfriends,thecouple,HudandTheoGrant.
RicksatnexttoanemptychairIassumedtobelongtoKanan,thenBurke,Damon,andJoelweredownfromthat.Inodded andgreetedthemall,thentookaseatattheheadofthetable
“Iwasjustwaitingforyou,”RicksaidashestoodonceKanantookhisseat.“Thankyouall forcoming.Jace,Iknow you haven’tbeeninvolvedinthis,butEliandNoahareworriedabouteveryonethatfrequentsCowpokesthatliveandworkinthe area.”
BeforeIcouldrespond,IlookedtoEli,whowasusuallyoneofthemostbeautifulmenI’deverseen.Hewasmodelpretty, builtwellandalwayssmiling,sohappyhewaswithNoah.Butthatday,hewaspale,drawn,andlookedyearsolderthanhis thirty-fiveyears.
Noahsawmestaring “He’sbeenthroughhellwiththemotherfucker Ifhecomesnearhere,youallcallmefirst I’mgonna killhim.”
“IfIdon’tgitta‘imfirst,”Joeldeclared “Ishould’ashot‘imdeadthatdayIsaw‘im” “YousavedmylifeandNoah’s,Joel,”Eliassured.
Iheldupmyhand.“I’veheardbitsandpiecesaboutthis,butwhat’sthecompletestorywiththisguy?” Noahstarted,“He’safuckingprick,”butElistoppedhimbyplacinghisfingersoverNoah’slips “Yougettooriledup,babe.”
“Igoteveryrighttobe!”
Burkesteppedintosay,“I’lltellit.”IthennoddedtoNoah.“You’vegottherightidea,brother.Anyofusthatseeshimfirst, we will notstop ourselves fromkillinghim” To me, he explained, “Harveyis Eli’s ex WhenEli lefthim, he wenta little crazy.IthinkhethoughthehadElitrapped.Hedidn’tallowElitoworkorhavehisownmoney.WhatElididwastakeawatch fromhim. Thatwas all the excuse he needed to getthe cops after Eli, butinstead ofitbeingconsidered a theft, the police figureditwasadomesticdispute”
“AfterthatbombedtogetEliintotrouble,hetriedtocomeandkillNoahandframeEliforit.Joelkickedthatideafastwhen Harveysawhewasn’ttheonlyonewithagunintheplace Thatlandedhimintroubleand,oncecaught,hewasconvictedof attempted murder. He was giventwentyyears. Eveninprison, he’s tried to hire people to kill Eli and Noah, butTheo had those lowconnections,let’sjustsay,andhefoundoutaboutit Again,westoppedit Now,he’sout,andthecellmatehehad beforehegotoutgotwordtoTheo’sfriends,who’dhadtheprisonwiredforthatkindoftalkfromHarvey.”
“Weweretryingtogetaheadofthenextplan,”TheosaidashenoddedalongwitheverythingBurkesaid.
“Sure, yeah, we wanted to know beforehand this time. Well, the night before his release, he spilled everything to his cellmate Sonow,weneedtobattendownthehatchesandgetprepared”
Ricksaidtome,“HethreatenedEliandNoah,ofcourse,buthe’salsothreatenedeveryonethatknowsthem.That’sallofus inthisroom,andofcourse,youknowus You’reapartofourlittlefamilyhere,Jace,andyouworkonourproperty Ifhecan’t hurtus,hecouldwanttohurtourbusinesses.KillHud’sandTheo’spigs,forexample,orEli’sandNoah’shorsesandcattle.” “Igetit,”Ihurriedtosay “I’llbeonwatch,oranythingyouallneed Youknowthat” Elisighed,likerelieffloodedhim.“Thankyou,Jace.”
Damonblustered,“IfhegetsnearCowpokes,he’sgoingtobereallysorry.”
“Maybeyoushouldcanceltheweekend,”Eliwhispered “Whatif ?”
Burke said to his bestfriend, “Honey, don’tyouworryaboutthat. Youand Noah, yougo, have a vacationfar fromhere. Maybeifhedoesn’tseeyoubothhere,he’llleave”
“Notachance,”Noahstarted.“Eliisgoing,butI’mnotleavin’myplacetothatcrazyfuck.”
Joelnodded,rosefromthetable,andstartedforthedoor “I’mdoin’mesomehuntin’”
Theoshoutedathim,“I’llreadythepigs!”
“Holdthefuckon,allofyou,”Burkehollered.“Everheardofpremeditatedmurder?Thatisexactlywhatyouallsoundlike rightnow!Wecannothunthimdown”
“Whatdoyousuggest?”Iaskedcautiously.
“Well,wekeepvigilant Wegetmoreofthetownspeopleinformed Cowpokesiscovered I’llhirespecialsecurityforthe weekend.We’remakingatonofmoneyfromtheplace,soprotectingitmustcomeontheheelsofprotectingEli.”
“I’mnotleavingyouall to fightmybattles,” Eli said, and whenNoahtried to argue, he foughtharder. “This is myfight, Noah.Ibroughthimintoeveryone’slifebecauseIwasacowardandlefthimwithouttellinghim.”
EveryonearguedwithEliexceptforJoel,whorantohim,droppingtohiskneesbyEli’schair.“Notadamnwordo’that!Ya ain’tnodangedcoward!”
I spoke then. “He’s right. You got out for your own physical and mental health, Eli. It sounds like he’s the coward. I’ll volunteerforsecurityduty,Burke,Damon Extendmymembershipabit,savemeafewbucks,butI’llbehappytowatchover theplace.I’vedonesecuritybefore.”
“Signmeuptoo,formerandfutureboss,”HudsaidtoBurke,thentomesaid,“IusedtoworkforBurke,gettingsentouton gigsfortherichandpowerful.”
“Thanks,bothofyou.”
“I’min,”Ryansaid,too
“Well,thethreeofusalonewilldetermostfromsomuchascomingclose,”Iteased.
“Whatwe’reworriedaboutthemostisHarveysendinginsomeonethatwedon’tknow We’vegoneoverthenewmembers for sixmonths,eventhoughhe didn’tknow thenhe’dbe released.Sofar,theyall checkoutwiththeir references,butwe’re keeping a special eye on those we don’t know well, regardless. As part of security, you’ll see everyone’s passes on the computer,theirfacesandeverything”
InoddedtohimasRyansaid,“We’llmakesurenoonewhoisn’tonyourlistgetsclose.Thethingis,everyone,well,Ihate tosayit,butIdoubthe’dhitwithallthesemenaround,securityornot It’sgoingtobewhenEliandNoaharealone” Rickhelduphishandsandannounced,“That’swhyIwouldhopeyouallcomehere,whoeverwantsto.”
Aseveryonemurmureddiscussions,Joelgrowled,“Notan’‘avethatliloneindanger!”
Kananexplained,“We’vealreadycontactedChandler’saunt,whoactslikeanaunttoColby,too.She’sgoingtotakeboththe boys,thoughChandlerisn’tthrilledaboutit.Whenhewantstocomehomeforbreak,hewantstobehere.”
“It’sbetterhe’ssafe,”Isaid “Fornow He’sgrown,andifhewantstobehere,thenI’dsuggestlettinghim Ifnot,hecould comewhenwedidn’tknowitandhe’dbeinmoredanger.”
Ricksmiledandtoldme,“Soundslikeyouknowhisstubbornstreak” “Iwasnineteenonce.”
“Aswereweall,”Damonagreed “Isaylethimstay,buttomakesurehe’salwayswithoneormoreofus” “I’llspeaktohim,butColbywillfeelbetterwithhimthereforatleastacoupleofdays,”Rickassured. Oncetheplanswereset,HudandTheowerehostingBrettandRyan,whoweretheirboyfriendsanyway,andBurke,Damon, Joel,Eli,Noah,andIwouldstayinthespareroomsofthemansion
Ihatedit,truly.Ienjoyedmyprivacyandthequietofmylittlecabininthewoods.Still,themennotonlyemployedme,but they’d taken me into their circle of friends They’d opened their doors and their lives to me, so I felt privileged I’d been includedintheirplans.
Afterpackingupenoughforafewdays,knowingIcouldheadhomeifneededfortherest,Iheadedtothefarmandchecked over the chickens and leftword withthe other farmhands to keep their eyes peeled for strange people creepingaround the place.
Donewiththat,Iwenttothemansion,pullinginwithmyoldtruckthatwasdingedandrustedinspots.Itdidn’tfitnexttothat house,butI’dmoveitonceRicktoldmewheretoparkit.
Chandlerwasholleringintothehousewiththedooropenandthenturnedtome,smiling “Oh!Jace,hey I’mheadingout,but mydadthinksIneedanescort.Wouldyoutalktohim?”
“I’mgoingnowhere near that,Chan Sorry,butyou’re onyour ownthere Never getbetweena lionandhis cub,that’s my motto.”
Helaughedandagreed,“Probablywouldn’tendwell Gotcha I’ll seeyouinacoupledays,”hesaidbeforeleaving,butI stoppedhimbygrabbinghisarmgently.
“CanIaskyou…aboutsomething?”
“Sure!Shoot”
“Youhavethatguyplanningyourhouse.Roland.”
“Yeah,”hesaidashisgrinwidened “Doessomeonehaveacrush?” IlaughedasIduckedmyhead.ThesecondtimeIfeltshyintalkingtoorabouthim.“Notexactly,buthe’s…interesting.” “He’sthat,andhe’salsohot He’salittleoldforme,butforyou,he’dbeperfect” Afterrightingmydroppedjaw,Igrumbled,“Thanksalot.” “Noproblem,”hesaidcheerily,notcatchingmysarcasm.“SeeyouwhenIgetback.” “Bye,Chan”
TheyweregatheredinthefamilyroomastheyallkissedandhuggedlittleColby.JoelwasgigglingexactlylikeColby,and together,theymadeasight “Ain’thejus’thecutestlilol’thing?” “Heis,”Damonagreed,pinchingJoel’scheek.“Almostascuteasyou.” “Oh,goonnow.”
EliwastheonlyonenotfussingoverColby,sittingonasofa,headdown,likehewasexhausted.Iwenttositbyhim.“Eli, it’sgoingtobeokay.We’renotgoingtoletthatassholehurtyou.”
“It’snotmeI’mworriedabout It’sallofyou Thisismyfault,andyouareallindangernow”
“Yourfaulttheguyhastwoscrewsloose?Yourfaultyoudidn’twanttostaywiththeprick?” “No,but ”
“Butnothing.Idon’twanttohearyoutalkinglikeyou’retoblame.He’saprickthatthoughtheownedyou.Hedidn’t,and thathurthisfragileego.Period.”
“Thanks,Jace.”
“Anditdidn’thelpatall,right?” Helaughedalittleandwhispered,“Itdid Ijust ” “Worryforthepeopleyoulove.That’swhytheyallloveyou.” “I’lltrynottoletmyworryshowasmuch Itmakesthemallworryovermemore Idon’twantthat,either” “Good.Now,whereisthefood?Imissedlunch.”
“Kanan,feedus,”Elihollered,thenlaughed.“Weneedtokeepupourstrength.”
ChapterThree AFTEREVERYONEGOTMOVEDintoRick’sandKanan’shome,wemetinthefamilyroomagaintosetupsecuritydetails. Burkeinformedusall,“Thesecuritydetailwillbeherebymorning,threemenandonewoman,allcominginontheirown, sooncetheyallarein,I’lltellthemwheretopatrol”
Ricksuggested, “The house is bigwithfive immediate entrances onthe ground floor. Have themcover the entrances they can,andwecantaketurnscoveringtheotherandpatrollingthegrounds” “Soundsgood,”Burkesaid.“Ifitgetstoomuchforus,Ihavefivemoreinthewings.Thisisgonnacost,butI’mwaivingmy fees andmostofthemaren’tchargingfull pricefor their service They’veall gottengreatjobs frommycompany,sothey’re heremoreasafavor.”
“I’dnever letthemdothis for little tonothing,Burke.They’ll maketheir full wage,andIwill payyouyour fee as well,” Rickinsisted,andhissternvoicemadeitclearhewouldnotarguethepoint Burketeased,“Wow.Kanan,nowonderyoufellforthisguy.He’sso…dommie.”
Kananwinkedathim “Right?Sexyfucker”
“Fucker,”Rickmused.“Wenevercussinthehouseunlessit’swhispereddirtytalkinourbedroom.Feels…strange.” Icouldtell,andsocouldtheothers,thatRickwasmissinghiskids.Isoothed,“They’llbeback,safeandhealthy.” “Iknow.They’rejust…thelifeofthishouse,alongwithKanan.”
Kananwenttohismanandkissedhim.“I’mstillhere.Ithinkwe’llbefine,Rick.”
Oncethemansionwasset,Ithoughtoftheothers “IknowHudandRyanaloneareintimidatingenough,buttheyhaveabig spread,too.Isanysecurityheadingthere?”
Burkelaughed “Oh,thatwasafightyoumissed Theoraisedafit Hesaidhedidn’twantRyanandHudoutprowlingthe groundsallnight,andhesureashellwasn’tgoingtodoit.Heinsistedonmoresecurity,sothreeareheadingtheretonight.I’m sendingarentalRVovertoo,tohousethem.TheoandHuddon’thavethespacelikeRickdoes.”
“Good.They’llbeexhaustedbecauseIknowHudandRyanwon’tsleep,thinkingtheirmencouldbeindanger.”
“Seriously,”Noahbrokein,“I’dbemoreworriedaboutanyoneelse.TheoandBrettmaynotbethegiantsthatHudandRyan are,butthey'refeistyasawildpigthatjustgotstungontheassbyabee”
“Nicevisual,babe,”Elipurredathim.Hesoberedandtoldtheroom,“I’msorryforallthis.”
“Notagain,Eli,”Burkegrowledathim “I’llstronglysuggesttoNoahthathecutsyouoffforamonth” “Burke!”
“Listentohim,”Noahwhispered,thenkissedEli’swide-openmouthclosed. Thefeelingintheroomwaslessapprehensivethanithadbeen Iknew thegroupwasstillworried,especiallyforEli,but together,theywerestronger.
That was the thingabout this group ofmen Intheir presence, one could get caught up inthat feelingoftogetherness and family.SomepeopleintheLGBTQIAcommunitynolongerhadthefamilytheywerebornto.Beingkickedoutofhomeswas anall-too-commonoccurrencefor them,somanyfoundfamilies oftheir own Thesemen,somestill hadtheir birthfamilies, othersdidnot,butthey’dbecomeafamily.Iwasbeingbroughtintoit,andthoughIwasalone,Ididn’tfeelthatwayanylonger. ThosetimesIfeltlikeanoddmanoutleftassoonastheirconcernformewasspoken.Beingbroughttothehouse,beingtold tobecarefulifIhadtoleave itstuckrightintothecenterofmyheart
IpatrolledtheyardwithBurkeafterwebrokeupthemeeting.Hepointedtoplacesthatwouldbeworrisomebecauseofthe lackofclearviews Therewereplentyofthose,beingtheareaaroundthehousewasheavilytreed
ThemountainsthatsurroundedthehousewerealsoanissuewhenI’dpreviouslysawthemountainsasthingsthatmademe feelmoresecure Peoplecouldsitonone,pointingariflewithascopeatthehouse,andiftheriflewasrightandtheshooter goodenough,theycouldshootsomeonerightthroughthemanywindowsinthehome.
“Fuck.Thatmadethingsalittletooreal.”
Burkenoddedhisagreement.“Ihavewalkedmyentireplaceacoupleoftimes,whichisnosmallfeat.Ihavewantedtocut downadozentrees,putupsecuritycameras,allkindsofcrazystuff Whenyouworkinthesecurityfield,youtendtogetalittle paranoid.”
“Icanseethat”
Burke laughed and mused, “Damontookme bythe hand and led me into the house, explainingto me thatwe were inthe country Noteveryoneisouttostealorhurtus Mostaroundhereespeciallyjustwanttobeleftalone,likeus Thenthingslike thishappen,andIwanttocutdowntreesandputupahundredcamerasagain.”
“Andyou’resurethisguyiscoming?Like…howreliableisthiscellmateofhis?”
“Granted,heaskedforcreditfortellingus,youknow,loweringhistimeinside
Thatmademesuspicious,buthowwouldhe evenknowthenamesandplacesifHarveyhadn’tspokenaboutus?”
“True Bettersafethansorry”
“IjusthopethatEli canfeel safehereagain,oncethisisall over.Thatkid…andIcall himakideventhoughhe’snotthat muchyoungerthanme,buthefeelslikeakid Iwanttoprotecthim Ican’texplainit Anyway,he’sbeenthroughenough He hadaroughtimeinthewar,toughaftertoo,mostlybecauseofthisfuck,Harvey.Hethoughthe’dfoundlove,foundsomeone thatwantedthesamethingsasElidid.Harveyjustwantedatrophyandafreehousekeeper.”
AsIgazedaroundatthemountainssurroundingtheplace,Ididn’tseethemasthreatening,butagain,Iwasn’tinsecurity I’d neverbeeninthemilitary,andIdidn’thavesomeonehuntingme.“Youcancountonmeforanythingyouneed,Burke.”
“Thanks,man”
TochangethesubjectandeasesomeofBurke’stension,IbroughtupRoland.“YouusedRolandBradytodesigntheclub, right?”
Burkechuckledandsaid,“Rolandisfuckingamazing.Yeah.Why?Yougonnabuildahouse?”
“Notyet.I’dloveto,butIhavealittlemoremoneytosaveandtofindsomelandofmyown.Rightnow,I’mhappywithmy littlecabinatthefarm”
“So…youlikehim,”hesaidwithacheesygrin.
Ifeltmyselfblushing,myfaceashotasthedesertinAugust,butItriedtoplayitoff,anyway “He’s interesting,buthe’s gonnabearoundalot,watchingoverChandler’shousebeingbuilt.”
“So…youlikehim.”
“Fucker.”
Burkeslappedmeontheback,thenwrappedthesamearmheslappedmewitharoundmyshoulders.“It’sokay,man,don’t worryaboutit Rolandis fuckingsweet Ifyouguysgettogether,though,there’ssomethingyoushouldknow” “Youfuckedhim.”
“Youknew?”
“Ifigured.Youownasexclub,andhegoes,what?Everytimeit’sopen?”
“No,Ithinkhe’smissedacoupleofweekends,”hesaid,thenlaughed.
Inside,thetensionwasn’tasheavy,andTheoandRyanwerethere,withouttheirownpartners TheogreetedBurkeandme withkissestoourcheeks.“Hey,fellas.Howisitoutthere?Mysteriousbadguysaroundeverycorner?”
“Smartass,”Burkeaccused “Youshouldbeusedtothis”
“Don’tremindme,”hesaidwithanexaggeratedrollofhiseyes.“Thosecrazymobboyswereaftermysweet,perkyass,but mysweetHudprotectedme,andhewillagain” Burkeasked,“Whereishe?”
“He’snotleavingthepropertyalone.Likewediscussed,we’reworriedforourhogs.” “Right Goodthinking WhatareyouandRyandoinghere?”
Ryanansweredhim,“Iwantedtocheckinwithyouonthesecurityissues.” Astheywalkedofftogether,Theotookmyhandandledmetothelivingroom “Comeandprotectuswhilethey’regone” Damonpuffedupfromwherehe’dbeensnugglingwithJoel.“AmIchoppedliver?” “You’retoughenough,Isuppose,”Theoteased “He’satough’un,”Joelcountered,thengrabbedDamon’scrotch.“’speciallyhere.” “Joel,nogropinginpublic,”Damonchidedwithasmile.“Later,we’lldoplentyofgroping.” “Hotdamn!”
Ihad to admit, Joel was aboutthe sweetestguy. He was fiercelyloyal and defensive ofnotonlyhis two partners, buthis friends as well Whenhe wasn’trushingto shootsomeone or feed themto Theo’s hogs, he was a teddybear Asmall, wiry teddybear.
“Remind me to tell Phoebe to speakto the maid aboutthe sheets,” Rickchuckled. “Thatnew maid…whatthe hell is her name?”
“Lila,”Kananremindedhim.“It’sasimplename,babe.”
“Idon’tknow.It’smyage,Iguess.” Noahgrumbled,“I’molder‘anyou,son.”
“Andyouneverforgetathing,”Elisaidtohim “Suckup,”Rickaccused.
“You’veneverseenhimwieldabullwhip You’dkissup,too”
Aftereveryonegotalaughfromthat,Joelasked,amazed,“Yalikeit?Don’tya?”
“Yes,Joel,Iloveit Still,itstingslikehell”
Theodrawled,“Trygettingthrowninahogpen.”
Everyoneknewthestory.WhenTheoandHudwerefirstlivingatTheo’sfarmhouse,hegotonHud’snervesenoughtopiss himoffand ended up inthe hogpen “And now, youlove the man,” Ryanreminded himas Burke and Ryanreturned to the group.
“Ido,butI’mstillplottingrevenge”
“Beingyourpartnerisrevengeenough,”heteasedandgotaplayfulsmackinthegut. “Yane’ertol’mewhatIwasdoin’,”JoelsaidtoBurke “WhereamIgonnabe?”
“Inhere,safe,”Burketoldhimwithnoroomforargument,butJoelgavehimone,anyway. “Hellsbells!Ain’tItheonesaved‘imtabeginwith?”
Damongrowled, “And because ofthat, and the facthe’s seenyou, you’re injustas muchdanger as Noahand Eli Don’t argue!You’reinhere,safe.”
“Andstayawayfromthewindows,”Burkeordered “Hellsbells,ain’tthatsomeshit?”
“Zipit,”Damonpurred.“I’lldofunthingstoyouifyoustaysafeforme.”
“Aw,shit.In‘atcase.”
Whiletheysnuggledandkissed,Ilongedforsomeone.Iwasn’tdesperateforarelationshiporanything,butonceinagreat while,itstung
TheoandRyanweremakingeyesatoneanother,NoahwasholdingEliclose.Theloveintheroomwassuffocatingme,soI wentoutsidetodoapatroltogetawayfromit
I felt like I could breathe again after heading around to the side of the house. The immediate landscaping was wellmanicured,butjustbeyondthat,theforesttookover,growingwildandfree.
There was little noise comparedtothe city,butonce yougetpastthe difference,things couldbe heardthatscreamedlife. Crittersofonekindoranothercouldbeheardscurryingaroundtheforest,birdsleavingbranchesandtakingoffinflight,mice orothersmallcreaturesrushingoverdriedleaves
Thewindalonewasasongthatonlythosewholovenaturewithalltheirbeingcouldswayto.Likeafluteandsoftbrushon adrum,thewindblewgentlythroughtheevergreenandconiferoustrees
Then,anunwelcomesoundcametomyears,causingmetohurrybacktothedriveway.
Sureenough,theSUVwasdrivingfastupthedrive,headingrighttothehouse.Withmyheartinmythroat,IranasfastasI couldtothebackdoorofthehouseandknockeduntilBurkeopenedit “Someone’scoming,fast”
Burkewentintomotion,takingagunfromthebackofhisjeansthatIhadn’tseenbeforethatmoment.Wishingformyown firearm,Iranafterhimtothefrontofthehouse,asheyelledinstructionsforeveryonetogetlowerthanthewindowsandstay putafterthat.
Ifollowedhimtothekitchen,wherehesanktohiskneesasheduginacabinet,thenwithdrewanothergunandhandeditto me.“Canyouhandlethat?”
“IgrewupwithaRuger.I’vegotit.”
Wewentoutthefrontandcrouchedbythefrontbushes,butthenBurkesawtheSUVHesighed,“Myguysareearly”
AsIrosetomyfeet,Iwasshot,butnotwithabullet.Amangotoutofthebackpassengersideofthevehicle,andonceIsaw him,Inearlycouldn’tholdmyselfupright
“Chaz,” Burke said,shakinghands withthe wide,muscledAfricanAmericanwhogotoutofthe frontofthe SUV.“Tango, howareya?”Heaskedthemanthathadjoltedmebadly
“I’mgood.Readytowork,”hesaidwithhissmoothbrowcreasing.“Whereyouwantme?”
Hewassmallish,dirtyblondhair,nearlythesamecolorasRoland.Suddenly,apictureenteredmymind,unwantedbutnot unappreciated,ofthetwoofthemlyinginmybed,nude,readytobetakenbyme
Iblinkedawayfromthatvisionandwasintroducedtothefournewcomers.“Jace,thisisChaz,”hesaid,pointingtothebig mantomyright “ThisisMarylyn,”hesaidofthewomancomingaroundthebackofthevehicle Shehadshortblackhairand woreblackjeansandacamouflageT-shirt.ShewasprettybutlookedlikenooneI’dwanttotanglewith,muscledasherbare armswereandthatlookinherdarkeyeslikeshe’dratherstabmethanbepleasant.
She gave me a nod and a firm, almostpainful handshake and thenBurke continued. “Finally, this is Felix.” The tall, thin redheadcameovertoshakemyhandandIsawhisice-blueeyesscrutinizingme.Histhickbeardcouldn’tcoverhismouth,it
wassuchathinline.“Who’sthis?”HeaskedBurke. “Notofficiallysecurity,buthe’shelpingusout,sobenice,Fe.”
Ishookhishandandsaid,“Notheretostepontoes” “Justdoingmyjob,”hegrumbled.
Tangocamebackovertome “He’sfedgunpowderwitheverymealtokeephimafuckhead” “Fuckoff,Tango,orI’llswatyoulikeafly,”hesaid,crackingupalittle.“Agnat.”
“I’msmall,butI’dstillkillyouthreetimesbeforeyoucouldgetapunchinonme” “Okay,fellas,andlady,I’llshowyouaroundandgetyouallstationed.Jace,willyoupleasegoinsideandletthemknowto relax?”
“Sure,”IsaidasIlockedeyeswithTango Hiseyesweregreen,abeautifulclovergreen,andtheywerepuresteel Hewas maybethesexiestthingI’dseensinceRoland.“Surething.”
ChapterFour AFTERLETTINGEVERYONEKNOWitwasthesecuritypersonnelthereearly,everyonerelaxed.It’sthenwhenIwondered aloud,“IgetTheoandHudstayingattheirplacefortheiranimals,butwhatabouttherestofyou?”
“Mymamaistakingallof‘em,”Joelinformedme “Truckedallo’‘emtoherplacedaysago” “Oh,good.Evenyourdogs?”
“Millieain’thappy‘boutit ShelovesMom,though”
“She’stakenalltheanimals?”Iasked,incredulous.“Thecattleandall?”
“Sure,”Noahanswered “Imove‘emtoandfromeachsummerandwinter Ain’tmuchofastretchtomovethemacouple milesovertoherspread.Freshgrassfromthepasturesshehadn’tgottoyet.” “Hmm. Well, everythingis covered? That’s…amazing. Idon’tthinkthis Harveyknows whathe’s messingwith, withthis group”
ElibeamedwhenIsaidthatandcametomeimmediatelytogivemeasweethug.“That…makesmefeelbetter.Weirdlyso, butitdoes”
Iwassurprisedatthat,butpleased.“Good.I’mhappytohelp.”
BurkecamebackintothehouseandkissedJoel,whowasbouncingnervouslyinthefoyer.“It’sokay,baby.Stopworrying.” “Can’the’pit.Don’twannalosemymen.”
“You’renotlosingus,Joel.We’refineandsoareallourfriends.”
Joelseemedappeased,butstillapprehensive “Iwannagowit’yawhenyerpatrollin’‘round” “No.Iappreciatethatyouknowgunsandyou’renotafraidforyourself,butthisismyareaofexpertise.Letmedomyjob.” “Hellsbells,Burke!YaknowIwannahe’p!”
Damonsuggested,“Maybe,whilestillinthehouse,Joelcanpatrolthegroundfloor.”
“Joel,”Isaid,sittinginoneofthecomfortablewhitelinenchairs,“YouandIcantakethatjobuntilIhavetoguardonedoor. Ifthat’sokay.”
“Iffinthat’sallIgittado,thensobeit.”
Damonwasproudofhissuggestion,andfinally,Joelstoppedpacingandsatbetweenhismen ThepangsIusuallygotfrom beingtheonlyonewithoutapartnerwerelessened,andIthoughtIknewwhy.
Suddenly,thereweretwomenthathadcaughtmyeye,andinsteadofloneliness,Ifeltchallenged No,atthetime,Ididn’t wantbothasmuchashopingtohavetwomentopursue,hopingonemightstick.Thoughthatvisioninmymindofthetwoof themonmybed…thatlingered.
Itdidn’thelp Iwas livingwithmenthathad a triad Isaw their love and devotionand wondered how itworked Inever dreamedthatcouldwork,threemeninarelationship,threesetsofissues;ofhopes,oflikesanddislikes.
JoelwassoinlovewithBurkeandDamon,hecouldn’tgoafewminuteswithoutsearchingthemoutwithhiseyes,andonce hefoundoneorboth,hisentiredemeanoreased.
The three of themwent off to do some work on the computer Both worked remotely with their own companies, Burke placingsecuritypersonnelwiththoseinneed,andforDamon,itwasclose,butnotexactlythesame.Forhim,securitywasa one-on-oneproposition.Hehadexpertiseinclearingnamesfromtheinternet.Ifsomeonehadthingsontheinternetthatshined abadlightonthem,or iftheywantedlessofanonlinefootprintforwhateverreason,theycametocompanieslikeDamon’s Theirnamesaresearchedoutontheweb,eventhedarkweb,anderased.Ididnotknowhowhedidthat,becauseastheysaid, theinternetisforever Still,hemadeaverygoodlivingdoingit
Italsoleftthemallthetimeneededtomanagenotonlytheirverypopularclubandresort,butalsothegrowingfarm.They currentlyhadoverfiftyanimals,farmorethanBurkewanted,andnothalfasmanyasDamondreamedofhaving Xen,thelittle quietmanwhopaintedthemuralinCowpokesofthethreeandtheiranimals,hadrunoutofroomtoincludethemall.
To thinkofall those animals beingmoved was amazing. I’d moved cattle, butnever numerous goats, chickens, and other critters.Also,Icouldn’timagineDamon’splacewithouthisbelovedcritters.
Icouldtellsomethingwasbotheringhim,anditwassuddenlyclearwhatitwas Heworriedoverhisanimalsliketheywere hiskids.
Speakingofwhich,IaskedEliandNoah,“Thisallputastoptoyoulookingtoadopt,hasn’tit?”
“Yeah,”Elisaidmiserably.“Wehadarrangementsalreadywithanagency,andtheyweregivingourfiletowomenlooking. Wehadtotellthemtoputusonhold”
Isatnexttohimandtookhishand,staringatNoah,andIsaid,“I’mreallysorry.Iknowhowhappyyouweretogetakid.” “We’llgetone,hellorhighwater,”Noahsaid,thentookEli’sotherhand.“Won’twe,honey?”
“Ihopeso,”Elisaid,thentriedtosmile,butitdidn’tquiteland “It’simportanttous,right?”
Noahhadn’tbeentheonethatwantedit,atfirst.Eliwantedakid,alongwithhishomeandhusband,tocompletehisperfect life AllitdidwhenIsawthesadnessandhopeinhisfacewastomakemethreetimesangrierthatfuckerHarveyhaddonethis tothem.
“We’llgethim Iswear,wewill,”Iwhisperedtothem
SpeakingofJoel’smother,Pam,sheshowedupthen,knockingonthedoorandholleringinassheopeneditbeforeitcould beanswered,“Sure’rescaredifyaleavey’all’sdoorwideopen!”
I jogged to the door, withNoahand Eli right onmyheels Eli kissed her cheekas Noahlaughed at her “Pam, we have securitynow!”
“Isaw ‘em,”shesaid,pushingherwaythroughus “Smartassedlilfuckertol’metowait Iain’twaitin’”Assoonasshe gotintothefamilyroom,shestartedholleringforJoel.“Where’smydamnedkid?” “I’ll go gethim,” Kanantold her, rushingout. Ithought, humorously, thathe looked scared ofthe little womaninwestern wear.
Asshedraggedherhatfromherhead,shelookedovertheplace.“Fancy,ain’tit?” “Yes,ma’am,”Rickconfessed “Mygrandfatherbuilttheplace,andmyfatherbuiltontoit” “La-di-da,”shewhispered.
Joelranintotheroomandwentrighttohismother “Ma?What’syadoin’‘ere?” “Can’taladycomecheckonheronlykid?”
Hesmiledandtookherhug,thenasked,“How’sMillie?”
“She’sa-missin’ya,butfineanddandy.He’pedmeroundupthosegoatsofyourn.”
“Shelovesherdin’thegoats,”hesaidproudly.“Everythin’elseokay?Patches,Puck,allthehorsesokay?” Sheploppeddownonthesofaandsighed,“Allwellan’good How’rey’all?”
Noahsatnearherandexplained,“Ican’tthankyouenough,Pam.Youhaveourworldonyourspread.” “Eh,ain’tnothin’ I’vehadmore‘anthembeforethis Givesmesomethin’tado Worriedovermyboy,though” “I’mokay,Ma.YaknowDamonan’Burkeain’tgonnaletmegithurtnone.”
“They’sgoodboysan’all,butIcan’tferthelifeo’mefigeroutwhyy’alldidn’tcomehometomeforallthis!Y’all’sstock isthere”
“Ma,wewantedto,surely,butBurkesetitupfer‘ere‘cause ” “Oh,Iknow Thatsecurityteam,that’sallI‘eardfromyerman Moreroom‘ere,easiertocover Hetol’me Still,nooneis betterthanyerownmatolookaftery’all.”
Joelgotsoftatthat “Thanks,Ma Loveya,truly” “Yeah,thatdon’tfeedthecrows,JoelEverett.”
IquicklydidtheinitialsandrealizedJoel’sinitialsspelledJ-E-B.Jeb.“I’mgonnahavetocallyouJebnow,Joel.” Pambarkedaloudlaugh “Heused-tainsistonit CallmeJeb,Mama,he’dsaytome”
AsJoelblushedbrightly,DamonandBurkecamebackintotheroomtoheareveryonelaughing.“That’swhatIliketohear,” BurkecommentedbeforeleaningovertokissPam’scheek “Mom,howareyou?” “I’mabitchin’andcomplainin’,whatelse?”
Damontookhisturntokisshercheek “You?You’reakitten”
“Kittensgotclaws,boy.”
“Don’tIknowit?”Damonlaughed.“Howaretheanimals?” “Lovethaty’allask‘boutthemandnotme!”
“Icantellyou’refine,ma’am.You’retougherthananyoneI’veeverknown.”
“Thebullshit’srunnin’deepinthis‘erehouse,”shesaid,butblusheddarkerthanJoel “How’rey’all?Really?” BurkesatononechairandDamonsatonthearmofitashesaid,“We’refine.Ihatethisinterruptingourlives,ofcourse.IfI catchhim…”
“Bring‘imtame!I’llshowhimhowacalf’llchawon‘istinydick.”
Everyonewasconfusedexceptforafew.EliandNoahlaughed,asdidJoelandI,buttheotherswerestaringliketheydidn’t
understand.Infact,Rickasked,“Aren’tcowsvegetarians?”
“Calves?Well,hell,mistermayorman,theysuckletheirmama’steets!Andwhatyougotonyouthatislikeateet?”
Rick’shandabsentlytouchedhischestoverhisrightpec,butthenhiseyesgrewwideasherealizedwhatPamwassaying “Youhavethecalf…suckthere?”
Kananand Burke bothcovered their dicks, while the rest of us cracked up laughing, and that laughter was good It was welcomed.“Thereyago,”Pamsaidashestartedtolaughwithus.
“That’s brutal,Mrs Barnes”
“Ain’t no missus, ain’t no bullshit maninmylife, ‘ceptin’some good ole boythat warms mybed. Call me Pam. Ain’t I sumthin?Onafirstnamebasiswit’themayor.”
“I’mnolongerthemayor,butitisanhonortobeonafirst-namebasiswithyou,Pam” PamwenttothesparebedroomthatDamon,Joel,andBurkewereusingwhileatRick’sandKanan’shometospeaktothem alone Iwentoutsidewhiletheyweregonetotakeaspotattheonedoornotcoveredbytheothersecuritypersonnel Whileheadingthere,IpassedbyTango,whowasleaningbackonthehouse,hiseyesmovingoverthetreeline.Thatlook justscreamedhewasreadytopounceonanythreat,butitalsogavemechills Iwalkedovertohim,hopingnottodisturbhiswork.“Prettyquiet,huh?”
“For now. Thatcould change ina heartbeat,” he said, the deadlystare gone and replaced withwarmth. “Are youtakinga turn?”
“Iam.Beingthemiddleoftheday,they’renottooworried,butI’mgonnahangoutoverthereabit.”
“Good MaybeI’llwalktheperimetersoonandstopandsayhello” IsmiledinaflirtingwaythatIhopeddidn’tcomeacrossascheesyorscary.“I’dlikethat.” “Good.Seeyouthen.”
ChapterFive AS TWILIGHT FELLTOnight, the woods grew eerie. Irealized Iwas lettingthe tensionofthe situationgetto me, as the foresthadneverbeenmenacingtomebefore,butstill,itmademehearthings.
Atwigcracking,thebrushofsomethingagainstthebranchofanevergreen,birdstakingflightfromasharpsound,all ofit hadmejumping.Ihatedit,butIwascaughtinthatactofonesuchjumpbytheoneImayhavewantedtobecaughtbytheleast. “Justforestsounds,”Tangosaidandsmiledpatiently “Ichecked Tonight,thenightvisionwillcomeout We’recovered” “Youbroughtnightvision?You’rethorough.”
“Notme Burkemadeusbringallourtoys” Ididn’tdoubtthata bit. Notonlywas his bestfriend indanger, butso were all his friends and his two partners. “Should havefigured.”
Wearingaleatherjacketanddarkshirt,ifhishairdidn’tshineinthedimlight,itwouldbehardtoseehim Ithoughtthatwas purposefulaswell.“Changingoftheguard.Burkesaidtograbyouupandtakeyouinside.” Ialmostpurredwhenhesaidhewassupposedtograbme “Really?Thengrabaway,”Ilaughed “Sorry Thatwasapitiful flirt.”
“Notpitifulatall.IfIwasn’tonduty,I’dgrabyou.” IthinkIdidpurrthen.
Wewalkedtothebackdoor,andheallowedmetoenterthehousefirst.Oncehejoinedmeinthekitchen,Burkecameintothe roomandshookbothofour hands “Gotbackupcomingnow Theyshouldbeheresoon I’mtakingpointtonightattheback, andRickandKanansetuptheirguesthouseforsecuritypersonnel.”
“Good,thanks,”Tangosaid “I’maboutbeat Icameoffajobthreehoursbeforeheadinghere”
“Iknow,andI’mgrateful,Tango.Getsomerestandtheninthemorningbeforeyouall takeyour positionsagain,Iwantto discusstheweekendfortheclub.”
“You’restillhavingit?”Tangoaskedinabreath.
“Yes.Itwasalittleshortnoticetocancelforsome.Somementakeoffworktobehere,arrangebabysittersorwhatever.We plantohaveplentyofsecurity”
“I’mone,”ItoldTango.“Wehaveasmallcrewvolunteeringtohelpyouguys.”
“I’mfinewithit,”hebraggedwithashrugofoneshoulder “Thanks,Tango.Theothersarereadytosplitassoonasreliefgetsin,butyoucanheadovernow.”
Afteraglanceinmydirection,andasmirk,hesaid,“Thanks.I’llgogetsomeshuteye.”
Afterhewasgone,Imentioned,“Ididn’teventhinkaboutreliefforthem”
“I have to think of these things. It’s my job. They’re doing fourteen and ten. The guys coming for nighttime are here temporarily,soIwantthisdonesoon,orwe’llhavetotaketheirshifts They’realsohereformoresecurityfortheweekend” Isawthefrownlinesweredeepeningbetweenhisbrows.“You’reworriedabouthavingitatall.”
“Iam Don’ttelltheothers,butwhatbetterwaytogetbackatallofus,allatonce?Wehadhimintheclubonce,tiedup,and Joelthreatenedtokillhimrightthen.Heknowswhereitis,whichiswhyweandouranimalsaren’tthere.I’mworriedabout DamonandJoel.”
“You damn,Burke Nowonder”
“I’vecalledinallmyfavors,calledinmenthatwereinbetweengigs,butbarely.Noneofmyguysarebetweengigsforlong. Mycompanyis trusted, so if theydon’t take their new posts soon, myreputationgets a good knock” He sighed “Sorry I neededthevent,Iguess.”
“Alwayshereforyou,man Whateveryouneed Rightnow,though,Ineedtogetovertothefarmandcheckonthings” “Yeah,right,right.Takesomeonewithyou,please,”Burkepleaded.
“RickandKananarecomingalong,thoughRickdidn’twantKanantogo,andviceversa.” “Igetit.Iwanttolockmyguysinabunker.Oh,but…didIseesomesparkbetweenyouandTango?”
Iduckedmyheadandadmitted,“Youdid” “AndRoland,too.Well,well,well,youmightnotbealoneformuchlonger.”
Istared,mouthgaping “Both?No,no,noway”
“Don’tknockit‘tilyoutryit,butbewarned,theyganguponyou.Alot.DamonandJoelwiththeirdamnanimals?Inever haveachance”
“Youlooktortured.”
“Ireallyam,”helaughed.“Gogetthechickenpluckedoreggedorwhateveryoufarmersdo,andI’llhitthehayforacouple ofhours Listen,ifanythinghappensatall,youwakeme”
“Noworries.”
RickandKananwerereadybyRicks’bigF-250,theoneheonlyusedforwork Iclimbedintothebackofthecrewcaband Ricksighednoisily.“This…sucks.”
“Honey,stopworryingovertheboys They’resafe” “You’renot.Noneofusare.”
Ispokeupfromthebackseat.“Burkeisstressedenoughforeveryone.Hefeelsit’shisjobtokeepusallsafe.Rick,Iknow thatdoesn’thelpyourworryalot,buthe’spullingoutallthestops”
KananturnedinhisseatasRickstarteddownthedrive.“Rickis…well,it’snotushe’sworriedfor.Theboys,sure,buthe’s gottenclosetoNoah Theyareofsimilarage,theybothcomefromthearea Theykneweachotheralittle,butnow?” “Thatfuckingprickhasmadetheirliveshell,”Rickgrowled.“IfIgetmyhandsonhim…”
“Howisheevenfinancingallthis?Ithoughtthey…tookallhismoney,”Kananaskedwithaglancebackatme. Istaredaheadatthetwo,RickwhisperingashhtoKanan.
“Joel alreadyletitslip, ifyou’re worried,” Itold Rick, so Kananwouldn’tbe inthe doghouse. “Theo is related to some mobster”
Rickchuckledalittle,butKananrushed,“Notexactlyamobster,but…” “Kan,it’sfine He’sfamilynow”
“Heis,”Kananadmittedandsmiledbackatme.“Well,it’sreallynotasbadasallthat.Iguessthey’re…notexactlythemost lawfulpeople,butreally,it’safamilybusiness.Mostlyalllegal!”
“Kananmeanstheyareanoldmafiafamily,butaretryinghardtobeonthestraightandnarrow.Idon’tknowifyouheardthe storyofhowTheoandHudcametobehere?”
“SomethingaboutsomeonebeingafterTheoandHudwashisbodyguard”
“Exactly,”Rickconfirmed.“Hiscousin,thoughthey’renotexactlyrelated.Idon’tknowhowthatallworks,butanyway,he senthimheretohide”
“AndHudandTheofellforoneanother,”Kanantoldme.“ThentheysentBrettandRyanherefor…Iguessitwassupposed tobeaplaceoftransitionfromoneplacetoanother.I’mnotexactlysurehowthatworked.”
“Meeither,”Rickconfessed “ButIdon’treallywanttoknow”
Kanancontinued,“Well ,Theo’s cousins havesincefoundthatHarveyhadmultipleaccounts for moneyandwas involved withcriminals Hewastotallyupanduponthesurface,andevenElididn’tknowaboutallhisbusinesspartners Harveykept alotunderwraps,eventohispartner.”
“Eliwasn’thispartner;hewashislive-inhouseboy Themanisscum,”Rickspat
“Rickhateshim,asweall do,”Kananexplained.“Theoisadamantaboutnotcallingthemfor helpwiththis.Hiscousins, thatis.Hefearsthey’llmakehimleavetheareacompletely,butTheohasalifeandbusinessherenow.Herefusestoleave.”
“Fightfirewithfire,Isay,”Itoldthem “Ifhe’sgotmobsterfriends,sodowe,inaroundaboutway”
“Theowouldkillus,butweallfeelthesame.IbelieveBurkecalledhisconnectiontothem,hisname…Ican’tremember…” “Javier,Ibelieve”
“Right! Javi, they call him. Anyway, I believe he called him, just to keep him informed. Theo can’t know, but it was importanttoBurke Ithinkifheneedsthem,theywillbehere”
“Theoisright.They’dlikelymakehimleave,butwe’realldealingwithourfarmsandranchesinwayswehate.Ithinkhe needstosuckitup,”Rickgrunted.
Icouldagreewiththat IhatednotbeingnearthefarmenoughthatIcan’thearthechickens,can’tcheckonthemanytimeI feltIneededtodoso.“Rick,I’mwithyouthere.”
“Evenhispartnerandboyfriendsagree,buthe’sastubbornthing” Kananalsoagreed,butadded,“He’sneverfeltempoweredorimportantlikehedoesnow.Ithinkhe’sterrifiedofleavinghis farmbecause he might slip back into that angry, lonely person he was. He was…very nasty when he first came, I’mtold. Everyoneadoreshimnow!”
“Igetit,Kanan.I’mhearingallyourstoriesafterthefact,butIfeelyouwereallalittlelostuntilyoucamehere.That’sgot
to be a fear for you all, being torn from the place and people that have made you a part of something this big and this important.”
Rickgruntedagain “Damn,Jace!Thatmademefeel abouttwoinchestall forbeingannoyedwithTheo All verytrue We wereallamessuntilwecametogether.”
“You?”
RickandKananbothlaughed.Kanandefendedhim,“No,hewasneveramess,perse.Hewaslonely,sure,buthadahome, abusiness,andwasthemayor!”
“Kanan,Iwas morethanlonely.IreallythoughtI’dnever findloveagain.Inever lookedatmyowngender,andthatwas whereI’dbeenmesseduptheworst.Kananchangedmeinallthebestways.”
Andcuethelovey-doveystuff,astheyflirtedandkissed “Newlyweds,”Igroaned.
“Youcould be next,” Kanansaid to me “So far, the rumor mill has youwiththat Roland, who is gorgeous, bythe way, especiallysincehelethishairgrowout.”
“Kanan,hell!You’renotsupposedtotellpeoplethey’rebeinggossipedabout”
“Please,Rick,”Isaid.“We’reinaclosefriendgroup.IwouldbeshockedtomysocksifIwasn’tbeingdiscussed.” Kananwinkedbackatme.“Thankyou.”
“WhatIhear,”Ricksaid,relievedIwasfinewiththegossip “Isthatyouhaveeyesforthatcutelittlesecurityguy,Tango, too.WhatthehellkindofnameisTango?”
“It’shislastname,isn’tit?”
Iaskedthesame.“Isit?”
Rickshrugged.“Probably.He’sex-military,anddon’ttheyuselastnamesmorethanfirst?”
“Firstranks,thenlastnames,Ibelieve,”Kananansweredhim.
Iwas laughing. “Anyway, the rumors are jumpingthe gun. I’ve spokento Tango once and the same withRoland. Isimply thoughttheywerebothniceguys”
“Withniceasses,”Kananadded,laughing.
“Thatneverhurts,”Iagreed “Thereisnoloveconnection,socoolthegroupdown,please” “Oh,Ithinkthegroupis happytohavesomethingelsetotalkabout,sodon’trushtokill thatfun,”Kananchidedme.“We needaloveconnectionrightnowoverthethreatofdeath.”
“Damon’smorepissedhedidn’tfindallofHarvey’sstashandcouldn’t ” “Rick!”
Rickglancedintherearviewmirroratme “Youknowenough?”
“TheytookHarvey’smoneyI’mguessingbyyourpoorlyveiledconversation.Buttheydidn’tgetitall.”
“Notbyalongshot,cometounderstand,”Rickfinished “EliispissedatknowingthatNoahkeptasliceforEli Hedoesn’t wantHarvey’smoney.”
“Thoughhe’sentitledtoit,”Kanansneered.“Allthattime,andEliwassometrophyandhousekeeper,cook,whatever.” “You’remytrophyhusband,”RicksaidtoKanan “That’saterriblethingtosay,butthankyouanyway,”Kanansaid,laughed.
We checked over the chickens and spoke to a couple ofthe hands to give themtheir duties for the nightand the nextday Everythingwas fine, but I could tell Rickwas worried, too. This was his livelihood, sure, but it was more. It was Rick’s heritage Hewasapartofalonglineoffarmers FromthewayIheardit,hisfamilyfoundedthetown
Whenwegotback,therewerethreenewcarsinthedrive,andRicktensedbadly.Kananwasshaking,butIhadthemparkat theendofthedriveandletmeout.“Youwaitforme.I’llgoseewhat’sgoingon.” “Becareful,”Rickorderedratherthanimploredme “Iwill.”
IwasheadedupthedrivewayandwassurprisedwhenTangometme “Iwasjustcomingtoseewhowasparked Isawthe shineoffthewindshield.”
“Who’shere?”
“Idon’tknow. Above mypaygrade, butthe cell service is outrightnow, and we’re tryingto figure outwhy. Everything’s gettingweird.”
“ShouldIhaveRickandKananleave?”
“No,we’resafehere,”Tangoassured.“Unlesstheyhatemafiosos.”
Iswallowed “Shit Okay,letmegobreakthenews”
ChapterSix “IAMNOTLEAVING,”camethescreamassoonasthethreeofuswalkedintothehouse. ItkindofsoundedlikeTheo,butIcouldn’tbesure.Kanan,however,was.“Theo,”hewhispered,thenrushedintothefamily room,whereRickandIfollowedtoseeatleasttwentypeoplegathered “Listen,Theo,we’renotatoddslikeweoncewere,”saidamanIdidn’tknow.“So,Idon’tappreciatebeingscreamedat.” “You’retryingtotakemefromthehomewhereyouputmeinthefirstplace,Danny” “Danny,”Kananwhisperedbesideme,thensaid,“Themafiacousin.”
Rickwenttobethepeacemaker “I’mjustgettinghereanddon’tknowwhat’sgoingon,butthisismyhome Iwon’thavethis kindoffighting.Sit,likeadults,andlet’sgetthingstalkedover.”
TheohuffedandwenttoHud,buryinghisfaceinthebigman’schest.HudpleadedwiththemancalledDanny,“Please,Mr. Montelli,don’tmakeusleave Wecan’ttakeourpigsanywhere,aseveryoneelsedidwiththeiranimals Joel’smotherkindly tookthem,butwecan’t.Shehasnopensforthem.”
“Youhavehelp,”DannypointedouttoHud “They’remine,”TheoscreamedasheturnedbacktoDanny.“Youforcedmetopayforeverything,andnowyouwanttotake mefrommyhome,mylife!”
“Foralittlewhile,”Dannypleaded.
Rickslappedhishandstogetherandpointedtothetable.“Go,sit,bothofyou.” “He’sright,”saidaLatinxmanthatwasextremelyhandsome,butcouldbarelycontainthegrinhehad “Weneedtositand talk.”
Theosat,buthecrossedhisarmsover hischestandglaredatthesurfaceofthetablewhileHudsatbesidehim Rickand Kanantookother chairs, and the two newcomers tookthe other seats. Everyone else sat onsofas or other chairs, tryingto pretendtheyweren’tlisteningin,andIjoinedthemintheventure.
AsIsatnearJoel,hekeptglancingatme,andhewaspaleasaghost.“Youokay,Joel?” Burkewasgettinguptojointhediscussionbuttoldme,“Hedoesn’ttaketonewpeoplewell.” “Iforgot”
Damonmoved over to hold himclose, and Burke wentto the table standingbetweenTheo’s chair and Danny’s. “This is craziness”
“You’velostcellularservice,”themanthatI’dlearnedwastheJavithatKananandRickhadtoldmeabout,said.“That’sa bigindicationthingsmightbegettingbad.”
“Butyoudon’tknowthat Itcouldbeatowerisout,andit’ssomethingsimple” Hud agreed with his partner. “I think he’s probably right, but I’m worried, too. Instead of taking us from the place completely,isn’ttheresomewhereclosewecango?”
Rickoffered,“We’retighthere,butIthinkwecouldmanagefourmore.”
“Of course we can,” Kanan piped in “We have security We are not on the top of the list of people Harvey knows, so everyoneelsecamehere.”
“WhataboutDennisandTravis?”
“Who?”morethanoneaskedTheo Hudchuckled.“HemeansTuckerandDale.”ToTheo,hesaid,“Youreallyneedtolearntheirnames,babe.” “Sorry,butI’malittleupset,Hudson!I’mmorethanalittleupset!” “Iknow,believeme.”
Whiletherewerehiddensmiles,mosteveryoneworriedforTheo Noahrosefromthecouchandannounced,“They’llcome here.We’llwatchover‘em.”
TheonoddedandsmiledatNoah,butDannywasadamant.“Itisn’tjustyoursafetythatconcernsus,Theo.Iftheygottoyou, thatwouldmakeuslookweakandtheentirefamilywouldbevulnerabletoattacks.”
“They,they,whoarethey?”
DannylookedtoJavi,whoexplained,“Thisgroupisn’tonethatwe’vedealtwithorthattheCarrilloshaveevendealtwith. They’re a new group, out of South America, and they got their start with a cartel They’ve moved up here to start an organization,andthey’regainingpower.ItseemsthatthisHarveydudewasoneofthepeoplegreasingthewheelsforthereal estatetheywereacquiring That’showhehadmoneynooneelseknewabout” “Whydidn’theusethemto…killus?”Eliasked.
“He didn’twantto use themfor his ownpersonal shit,” Javi answered. “Butafter we tookthe restofhis money, gothim throwninprison,henolongercared Hewenttothem,anditseemshe’sbargainedwiththem Idon’tknowwhathepromised, butwethinkitmightbeyou.”
Theopaledandasked,“Me?”
“Yeah!You’reapartofourfamily,andtheCarrillossteppedintohelpusout,sotwofamiliesareinvolvedhere.Theywant toovertaketheCarrillosandalltheirbusinessdealings,sothisisagooddealforthem Theygetyou,andwhilethey’reatit, takeoutHarvey’senemies,andthey’vegottenahugelegupinthisworld.”
Whenthingswereexplainedthatway,weallgrewquiet,includingTheo.
“We’recancelingtheweekend,”BurkesaidtoDamon,breakingthesilence “I’llputthewordout.”
“Wait,”Noahsaid “That’swhatthey’rewaitingfor Theywanttogetusalltogether,right?Ifthey’vedoneanysurveillance, theyknowabouttheclub.Theyknowweallgowhenit’sopen.Callthosecoming,thosethataren’therealready.Instead,fillit with…peopletheywon’tbeexpecting.”
Itdawnedonmewhathemeantandsoon,everyonecaughtontohismeaning.
BurkeslappedNoahontheback.“That’sperfect,”hesaid,thenrubbedhishandstogether.“Howmanyofyourmencanyou roundupforit?”
Javismiled.“Atleastforty.”
“Getthemherethiscomingweekend”
AfterBurkeandDamongottheinternetandphonesworking,atleastforthemoment,weallgotonthephoneandinternetto emailormessagethepeoplethatweresupposedtocometotheclubretreatfortheweekend.Javigotbusycallinginhistroops, andeveryonefeltbetterthatitmightbeoversoonerthantheyexpected.
Damontold me, “Make sure youtell themthe nextweekend, once things are settled, is completelyfree. It’ll be a hit, but we’vealreadybrokenevenontheplace”
“Brokeneven?That’sincredible.”
“It is It caught onquick People like gettingawayto anactual retreat There are kinkhotels and things, but this takes it beyondthat.”
“Maybeyoushouldthinkofexpanding,”Isaid,thensuddenly,Ifeltanideacomingthatsetmybodyshakingwithexcitement. “Imean,everthinkofaCowpokesfranchise?”
“Thatwouldkindoftakethenovelty,wouldn’tit?”
“Notreally Ifyouhadthemsetincertainplacesaroundthecountry,peoplecouldtakeanicedriveintothemountains,orto thedesertorwherever,andmoremencouldenjoythiskindofthing.”
Damonkissed mycheek, surprisingme “That’s fuckingbrilliant!” He turned and rushed to Burke, told himthe idea, but Burkewasoccupied.
“Damon,we’lltalkaboutit,sure,butcanwegetthisonetakencareoffirst?Cancelingmightwellputusoutofbusiness.” Iunderstoodthattobeaconcern,butitwasunwarranted Oncetheemailsandcallswerefinished,theygotreservationsfor theopen-endedweekendtocome,andmostdidn’twantthediscount.
Wordhadgottenout,andmostoftheregularswerepullingforDamon,Burke,andJoel
Itmadethetriofeelgood,soonceotherdetailswerebeingworkedoutabouttheclubfilledwithsecurityandmobguys,the tensionlowereduntileveryonewasyawning
Tango came into the roomto speakto Burke ina hushed conversation, and people wenttense again. Tango saw thatas he finishedwhispering,andsodidBurke.“Hehadtotellmethemailishere,andtheywentthroughit.”
SighsallaroundandNoah,pullingatired,thin,andpaleEliupwithhim,stoodandsaid,“We’regonnagobealoneabit I needtocalmmyboydown.”
“I’mfine,Noah”
“Hushupanddowhatyou’retold.”
Tangochuckledsilentlyatthat,andImovedclosertohim.“Isthatfunny?”
“Yeah.IcouldtellEliwantedtotellhimtofuckoffbutthoughtbetterofit.”
“Ifyousawthebrandonhisass,youwouldn’twonderwhy.”
AsIgloriedinTango’seyesgettinghuge,Ilaughed.“He…brandedthatprettyguy?” “Yeah.Isawitonenightattheclubandthengotfilledinallabouttheceremony.”
Iwalkedoutwithhim ThemoreIsaw him,themoreIwantedhim Itwas insaneinthemiddleofall thechaos butbeing aroundhimsoothedme.
“That’s extreme,butIlikeextreme,”hepurredthenglancedupatme “You?” “Yeah,uh,Ido,actually.”
“Goodtoknow,”hesaidandthenwalkedofftheminutewegotoutthedoor Iwatchedhimwalkingaway,whichwasexactlywhathe’dplanned,Iwasguessing.Nicelittleasshehad,andthatgotmy mindmovinginallthedirtiestdirections.Burkecameoutaftermeandcaughtmestaring. “GuessRolandishistory?”
Iopenedmymouthtosayyes,thatIwas interestedinTango,butRoland’s face came tomind,thatsmile,flirtyandshyat once “I don’tknow”
“Jace,man,I’mtellingyou,it’sdifficultwithtwomen.It’stotallyworthit,though.” “I’lllikelyneedadvice Infact,howdoIgoaboutdoingthat?”
“Ihadone,andwefoundthethird.Ihavenoideahowtostartoutwantingtwo.” Suchwasmyluck.“Youradviceisterriblylacking,Burke.” “Iknow,butit’llgetbetterifyoucanpullthisoff Speakingofwhich,I’mgoingtostartapoolfortheguysonif,andwhen, thismighthappen.”
Istaredslackjawedathim,thenlaughed “Mightaswell” “Yeah.Mightaswell.”
ChapterSeven THEMOODWASBETTERthenextmorning.Everyonerosewithlesstension,andremarkably,itwasmostlybecausethere weremafiabossesinthehouse.
NotonlydidHudandTheomoveintothemansion,butJaviandDannystayedtoo
Dannywasn’tlettingTheooutofhissight, JaviwashavingfunwithBurkeandhisguys,andElifeltlikethingswerefinallyeasing.Ispoketohimaswesippedcoffeeat thekitchenislandwhiletheotherssataroundthetable
“Idon’twanteveryone’slivesturnedendoverendbecauseofme.”
“Iamverysurethat’strue,butontheothersideofthat,you’ddoitforthem Also,it’swhatfamiliesdo” Icouldseeitwasn’tworking.“Jace,they…theycouldgethurt.”
“And they’re more worried about you getting hurt.” I sighed, “Listen, Eli, I came here and was hit in the face with this amazingfamilyyouguyshavemadeforyourselves Thisiswhatfamiliesdoforeachother” “Ionlyhad mygrandmother. I…” He stopped, thenglanced over to Burke. “No, Ilied. Fromthe minute Imethim, Burke becamemybrother”
“AndthenDamonbecameone,Joeldid,andalltheseothermen.You’reverylucky.” “You’reincludedinthat,youknow.”
Ifeltwarmfromthat.“Thanks,thoughI’mnotsurewhy.”
“Wedon’ttakemonthsandyearstoformopinionsandbringpeopleintoourgroup,Jace.Rickwassoexcitedwhenhefirst metyou, he insisted we getto know you Kanandid rightafter he metyou They’re excellentjudges ofcharacter We didn’t thinktwiceaboutitoncewemetyou,too.You’reoneofthegoodones.And,well,youliketheclub.It’sa…”
“Waytogaugeyourfriends?”
“Well,whatwouldwetalkaboutifnotkink?”
Ilaughedheartilyandnoddedtohim.“Ifeelthesameaboutallofyou.”
“Good,sowhenyougetwithTango,Roland,orboth,you’llhavetoletthemcometothedayswesubmissivesgettogether withoutourDomsaround,”hementioned,thensippedhiscoffee.
“Oh,sothesesubdays,aretheyoften?”
“Asoftenaswecan.AfriendofoursfromApishipaCreektoldusabouttheonestheyhave.They’vehadthemforyears,and it’slikeatradition Wetookitup,andit’sagreattimetorelax,laugh,talk” “TalkaboutyourDoms.”
“Yeah,sure.Whynot?”
Ilaughedatthemandmentioned,“IfIgetwithanyone,whichisalongshotandway,wayoff whywouldIwanthimtalking aboutme?”
Eliduckedhishead “Well,IknowtalkingtomyfriendshaskeptmefromfightingwithNoahafewtimesnow” “Really?”
“Yes,”hesaidashisheadshotbackupsohecouldlookatmeincredulously
“Haven’tyoueverhadaguythatdidthingsthat gotonyournerveswithcertainthingsthatweremaybesilly,butreal,toyou?” “Sure.Iguess.”
“Talkingaboutthem,bitchingalittle Itgetsitoffyourchestandthenexttimehedoesthatthingthatgetsonyournerves,you canlaughitoff.”
IglancedoveratNoah,whowasindeepconversationwithDamon,andwhispered,“Shouldn’tyouspeakdirectlytohim? Thosearethethingsthatbuilduntiltheycancausebiggerfights.”
“Notreally See,thingslikethewayhefussesoverhistools Igetit,Ilikethemneattoo,buthedoesn’ttrustme Hechecks thepegboardandchesteverytimeIneedtousethetools.They’realwaysfine,buthekeepschecking.It’sahabitforhim,andI
know he trusts me withthe bigthings,sothatisn’tsomethingIshouldtalktohimaboutbecause it’s reallynotmajor.Tomy friends,Icancomplainaboutit,andtheycomplainaboutsomethingtheirguysdo,andusually,somethingtheirguysdomakes megladNoahjustcheckshistools” Itwasarevelation.“Really?”
“Yeah So, Ilaughinstead ofgettingannoyed It’s great Ifitis bigger, believe me, Iwill talkto him Thatis somethingI sometimesforcemyselftodo.IneverspoketoHarveyaboutthingsbecauseIdidn’ttrusthimtolisten.He’dcallmedramatic orhysterical Noahlistens IfIwenttohimwithlittlethingsallthetime,he’dgetannoyedwithmeforcontinuingtobringup thingsanditwouldtakeawaytheimportanceofitwhenIspeaktohimaboutthebiggerthings.”
Itmadesense,butIwasstillskeptical.“Doyoutellyourtherapistthis?”
“He laughed and informed me thathis mendo the same thing He appreciates it, because he has two guys, and theycould cometohimconstantlywiththingstheywantedorwantedtochange.Thisway,theysavethebiggerstuffforhim.He’saDom andashrink,sohe’salittledifferentinthewaysheseesthings”
“True.Well,I’llkeepallthisinmindifandwhenIgetanotherboyfriend.”
“Friends Boyfriends ”
Ilaughed,andthatgotNoah’sattention.Hestrodeovertousandasked,“What’ssofunnyoverhere?” “Iwasjusttellinghimhowourdayswithourfriendshelpkeepourrelationshipsbetter.” “Oh,sure,”hesaid,andIlaughedmore “Youknow?”
“Sure He’sgothisfriendstodumponanditsavesmeapasselofconversationsthatIdon’twannahave” TheywentofftogetherandIwasleftshakingmyhead.
Mynewfriendswerepushinghardformetogetwithsomeone,andtheyseemedtohavetheirheartssetonthetwomenwho hadrecentlycaughtmyeye.Igotit,anditdidn’tupsetme.Theywereallcrazyinlove,sotheyassumedeveryonewantedthe same.
And Idid Sure,Idid Isawtheirlovestoriesplayingoutinfrontofme,andIfoundmyselfjealousoften IhopedIwasn’t rushingsomethingtobein“theclub”.
ThenIlaughedatmyselfforthat Iwasn’trushinganything Ihadspokentoeachmanverylittle WhenRickandIwenttothe farmthatmorning,Iaskedhimaboutit.ItrustedRicka lot,andhis opinions.“Rick,Iknow you’reaoneguykindaguy.IsitcreepyIkeepthinkingabouttwo?”
“Ifyou’daskedmeayearago,I’dhavesaidyes.NowthatIknowBurkeandhismen,Iseeitcanwork.”
“Theydon’tevenknoweachother.”
“Fixthat Afterallthis businessisfinallydone,haveBurkeinvitethemtothesameweekendatCowpokes”
“Tangocouldbegonetohisnextjob.Ithoughtofthat.Ifeltcrazyforeventhinkingthat.”
“Thenyoumayhavetoactsooner,atleastwithTango Theworldischanging,Jace Thingslikethrouplesaren’tseenasso strangenow.Sure,bysomeuptightpeople,butinourworld,it’snormalasanythingelse.WealreadyknowRolandenjoysthe lifestyle.Maybe,untilthen,starttalkingtoTangoabout…stickingaroundforabit?”
“That’s aconversation Hey,Imightlike you,sowhynotdelayyour nextjobandyour life,soIcanfigure itout? Ifnot,I haveanotherguy,sonobiggie.”
“Jace,”hesaidwithahuffoflaughter “Behonest,butmaybenot thathonest”
Likehe’dknown,Rolandmetusatthefarmwithanothermaninatruckwithsurveyorequipment.Hegotoutofthetruckand cameovertousaswewerespeakingtooneofthehandsatthefarm Aftershakingeachofourhands,hetoldRick,“Chandler orderedasurveybecauseIwasconfusedaboutwheretoplacethings.”
“Things?Like,thehouse?”
“Hewantsahouse,aguesthouse,andapool”
“Apool?Hehasapoolatthemainhouse!Heknowsitgetsabouttwomonthsofuse.What’shethinking?” Rolandshookhishead,butIcouldtellhewantedtolaugh “I’mafraidthatunlesshewantsitaboveground,ortodigupthe entire place, he can’thave a pool. There is a huge stand ofaspenover inthatarea thathas a rootsystemthatis…a bitofa mess Infact,hecan’thavethebasementhewants I’mgoingtohavetobreakittohim” “Oh,I’lldothat!He’snotgonnakillthatgroveofaspen!”
“Oh,no,hedoesn’twanttoeither.Helovesthetrees,andwantedtoavoidasmanyaspossiblewhenweplannedtheplace.” Ricksighedinrelief “Apool ” Hewalkedoff,gettingonthephonewithhissonandthatleftRolandandmealone. “Howarethingsgoing?Iseveryonesafe?” Inoddedtoassurehim.“They’rediscoveringafewthingsandmakingplans,soIthinkitshouldbeoversoon.” “Good.Ihatemissingmyweekends…atBurke’s.”
Igrinned,mostlybecauseIcouldn’thelpit.“Listen,Roland,withallthis,I…Iwantedto…” “Whenallthisisover,youwanttogoforcoffeeorsomething?LookslikeI’llbearoundawhile.”
Iwasalittleshockedhewassoforward,butIshouldn’thavebeen.I’dseenhimatCowpokes.Hewasn’tshy.“I’dlovethat, but…I…”
RickcamebackovertoletusknowChandlerwasfinewithnothavingapool
“Hesaidhecandoahottubinstead,sonow he’llcallyousoonwithplansforasparoom.”
“Thatismucheasier”
“Iwouldn’t…countonthat,”hesaid,thenlaughed.“Chandlerlikesthingscomplicated.”
“He’lloutgrowthat,”Rolandassured “Weallstartoutcomplicatedandthenrealizewe’dratherthingsbesimple” Rickglancedatmeandlaughed.“Yeah,complicatedissoteenyears,right?”
“Rick…ifyouweren’tmyboss…”
“I’mgonnagospeaktoFelixaboutthoseincubators”
“Youdothat.”Isaidtohim,thenletmyselflookatRoland.“Sorry,he’stryingtobefunny.”
“Ishesayingyou’recomplicated?”
“No,no,Iamassimpleastheycome,it’s…well,Roland,it’satalkforanothertime.I’dlovetohavecoffee.” “Okay,great”Hegavemehisnumberandthenremindedmehe’dbearoundalot,andifI’dlike,he’dtextmewhenhewas comingby.
“I’dlikethat.Maybewe’lldocoffeehere.Imakeameanpod.”
“That’sflirtingaboveandbeyond,”Rolandlaughed
ChapterEight SECURITYWASONTOPofthingsatthehouse,andDannyandJavi wenttostayatthehogfarmwithRyanandBrett,plus another set of securitytheybrought alongwiththem. They’d decided not to stayat Rick’s, and we mostlybelieved it was becauseDannywastiredofbeingpoutedatbyTheo
Theopacedthefloorslikeacagedtiger,andhistemperwasasdangerous.HehadHudthere,butknowinghiscousinwas wherehewantedtobe,itdidn’tsitwell
Hisfriendscomfortedhim,takinghimofftoabedroomforanimpromptusub’sday,andthatlefttherestofustocontemplate whattheyweresaying
“Heblamesmefornotfightinghardertostayhome,”Hudconfessed.“AndIdon’tgiveashit.Heneedsprotection,andit’s saferhere.”
“Can’t blame ‘im,” Noahdrawled “I hate beingawayfromhome Myanimals, myplace, myownbed Not that I don’t appreciateyourhospitality,Rick.”
“No,Igetit IfIdidn’thave the bighouse Harveyhadnever seen,I’dbe rightthere withyou I’ve worriedover Kanthe sameway.Hisexalreadytriedtogetbackwithhim.WhatifhesnapsandbecomeslikethisHarvey?”
“Itcouldhappen,”Burkesaid.“Toanyofus.Weallhaveexes.Harvey,well,Iblamemyselfmorethananythingelse.Ifwe hadn’ttakenhismoney,hemighthavegottenoutofjailandthoughtbetterthantocomeafterus.”
“ButitwasEli,likehehadn’tgonethroughenoughfromthatjerkalready,”Damonlamented.“Iknow hestartedoutbeing Burke’sbestfriend,buthe’sbecomesuperimportanttoallofus Joelworriesoverhimlikehewasababylamb” “Elievokesthat,”Ricksaid.“Youseehimandwanttoprotecthim.”
EveryonelookedtoNoah,whosniffedhardandswattedhiseyesastheyfilledwithtears “Thatboy,whenIfirstsawhim,I thought he was headed to gettinginto booze or somethingworse. If there’s sucha thing, anyway. I haven’t seenanyone so beatendownsinceIfoundacalfwhenIwasakidthatsomecoyotesgot‘holdof.Toremyheartoutofmychest.Idon’tbuy intothatloveatfirstsightthing,butitwasworryatfirstsight.Ifhe’dtoldmehe’djustrobbedabank,Iwouldatookhimin.” “ThatmakesusallwanttocatchHarveymore,ifI’mnotmistaken,”Isaidtotheroom.
“Aslongasitisn’tJoel,”Damonsaid “I’mworriedabouthimdoingsomethingtoHarveythatwillhaunthim He’stough, andhe’dkillthefuckerfast,buthisheartis…well,youallknowhim.He’ssweetandtenderunderallthatbullridingbluster.It couldhurthimtoodeeply”
“Itwould,”Noahconfirmed.“We’rekeepingthatboyprotected,justlikeEli.Neitherofthemneedsinvolvedinthat.”
“And you, Noah?” Burke asked seriously. “Iknow your feelings toward the man, know how muchyou’d love to getyour handsaroundhisneck,butyouhaveneverkilledaperson It’snotaseasyas,‘good, he’s gone ’ ”
“I’mnottenderlikeJoel.I’mamantakingcareofhishusband,andIpromiseyou,Burke,I’dsleepjustfineanddandythe samenight”
DamonlaughedandtoldBurke,“He’snotlying.”
“Damon,Iworryoveryouthesameway Nooffensetoanyoneinthisroom,andI’msureHudcanbackmeupinthisaswe wereinthefuckingmilitary.Wehadtokill,anditwasn’tsomethingIenjoyed.Ididn’tknow them,hadnothingagainstthem exceptthefactthattheyweretrainedtokillmelikeIwastrainedtokillthem.Ithurt.Eventhoughtheywouldhavekilledmeif Ihadn’tgottenthemfirst,ithurtmetomysoul Don’ttakethattoolightly,ever Aspeople,wealwayspictureitinourheads, howitwouldbetotakethisnemesisfromourlives,butinreality,whenithappens,ithurts.”
“He’sright,”Hudcroaked
Theroomquietedandthenitwasloudwithshoesoverthewoodfloors,andsniffing,littlesobsasallthesubscameintothe room,rushingtotheirrespectiveDoms
Iwatchedasmenwerehugged,kissed,andIwaslefttowatch.ElisaidtoNoah,“I’dnever,everwantyoutolivewithwhat
I’vehadtolivewith.Babe,Ikilledtoo,likeHudandBurke.IfIwastobeastruthful withyouasIshould,it’sthat.Thatis wheremyPTSDcomesfrom,morethanwhenIgotshot.”
“Eli,whydidn’tyouevertellmethat?”
“Because…Ifelt…”
“Igetit Shh,don’ttellmeathing That’syours,yourthingsyougottahavetoyourself Wedon’tshareeverything,babe” “Thanks.”
JoelwasbeingengulfedsothoroughlybetweenhistwomenthatIcouldbarelyseehim Theowasevencrying,beingheldby Hud.“I’msorry.I’vebeenanightmare.”
“Aw,baby,I’musedtoit.”
ThatjealousyI’dmentionedhitmethen Mychestwasonfirewithit Stupid,maybe,butIwantedamancryinginmyarms Aren’tItheworst?
No,whatwasworsewasthatIpicturedtwomeninmyarms,crying
After thetear-festwasover,weall madelunchtogether,sandwichesandchips,whichTheocomplainedwouldgorightto histiny,thinhips
Ileftthemwhiletheywereeating,toeatoutside,andrightaway,Iranintooneofthenew securityguys,amafioso,witha gunstrappedoverhisback.
That brought backthe conversationand the jealousy, so I walked around until I ended up ona nice piece of grass and I stretchedoutthereonmyside,staringoffatthemountainswhileInibbledonmyfood,noteventastingit.
Themountains,whereIthoughtI’dfindmyhappiness,buteverydayIsatalonestaringatthem,ithurtalittlemore Themore Ifeltsorryfor myself,themoreIhatedmyselffor it,butemotionswouldn’tbequelledbylogic.Theyweretheantithesisof logic.
“Hey,”cameavoicebehindme,andIsatupandspunsofastmyfoodwentflying.ItwasTango,andherushedtohelpme pickupmylunch.“I’msorry.Shouldknownottosneakuponpeoplearoundhere.”
“Yeah,probablynot,”Ilaughed Whenmyfoodwasinsomewhatbetterorder,mybreadaskewonthelunchmeatandmostof mychipsoutofthebagandscatteredonthegrass,IsmiledatTango,thenfeltguiltyforit. Ihatedguiltworsethanjealousy I’djustmadeadatewithRoland.WhatthehellwasIdoing?
“What’swrong?Yourfacejust…fell.”
“Sorry,alotonmymind.”
“Yeah,duh,that’sprobablynotastretchtorealize,butI’veneverbeenallthatsmartaboutthings.”
Thatmademeforgetthejealousyandguilt,asIturnedangry “Don’tsaythat Don’tputyourselfdownlikethat,ever” Hetookastepback,alittlefrighteneduntilhesmiled.“Wow,butch.” “Shutup,”Isaid,laughing “Sorry,butyou’renotstupid” “Icouldbe.Youdon’tknow.”
Ignoringthat,Iaskedhim,“Areyouoffduty?”
“I’msupposedtogograbacoupleofhours,butI’mnottiredyet Iwasgoingtowalkthetreeline” “Wantsomecompany?”
AssoonasIsaidit,theguiltwasback Henoddedandsaid,“Youpacking?” Forasecond,Ididn’tunderstandwhathemeant.Ithoughthemeantmydick,butitcametomeasmyfaceheated.“A…gun.” “Yeah”Heduckedhisheadashelethislaughtercomeoutonabreath “You’re,uh,blushinglikecrazy” “Getmeagunandshutup.”
“I’llberightback.”
Iwalkedtothetrashbinbehindthefenceanddepositedmyruinedfood,thenmetTangoatthecornerofthefront Hehanded meaSigSauer9-millimeter.“Loaded,I’mguessing,”IsaidasIcheckedformyself.
“Fullmag,readytocockandshoot”
Wewalkedalongthetreestothesideofthemansion,Tangotakingthesidenearestthetrees.Iknew thatwashisjob,butI hatedit
Watchinghis eyes,movingtosee all the wayintothe forestthathe could,his small butfinebodytense,was makingme a littlecrazy.Icouldtellbyhisentiredemeanorthathewasreadytopounceonthefirstsignoftrouble.
Iknewitwashisjob,evenso,toknowhe’dlikelyrunintoanyfraymademehot Hewasbraveandconfident,andyetIsaw itwhenhelookedintomyeyes.Hewasvulnerable.
“Thatweekendclubtheyhave yougo?”
“Whenit’sactuallyopen,sure.Why?”
“Wondering.It’sakinkclub,isn’tit?”
TheconversationwasmovinginadirectionIhadn’texpected.“Yes…” “Isee.”
Tangocuttingofftheconversationlikethatmadememorecurious.“Tango,what…doyouthinkofthat?” “Nothing.”
Igrabbedhisarmandstoppedhim “Tango” Hestartedtolaugh.“I’vebeenknowntogetmykinkonfromtimetotime,whenworkletsme.” “Oh?Interesting Tellmemore” “Notachance.”
HewalkedonandIhadtojogtocatchupwhenI’dpickedmyjawfromtheground “Excuseme?” Asmilewasthrownoverhisshoulder.“I’mworkingrightnow.Ifwetalkaboutthis,wemightfeeltheneedtoduckintothe treesanddothingsweshouldn’t.”
“Whyshouldn’twe?”
Thewaythatcameout,itmademefeellikesomedesperateass,andIreallywasn’t.Toomanystirringemotionsthatday,I suppose,mademefeelthatway “I’mworking,Jace,andyouare,too.”
“Right Thethreat,themafiaandHarveyandallthat Kindoftakesthefunoutofmeetinganewguy”
Welaughedtogether,anditfeltsoeasyandgood.Tangowasoneofthosepeoplethathadtwoverydistinctsidestohim.One wassweet,almostquiet,theotherwastoughandfearless.Itwasstrange,butIlikedbothverymuch.
“Whenthisjobisoverforyou,though you’llbegone”
“Icantakesometimeoff,Jace.IfIhadareasonto.”
Therewasanopendoor,andallIhadtodowasstepthroughit “Tango,I’dliketogooutwithyou Oncethisisoverand youhavesomefreetime.”
“Sounds good to me,” he said, thenglanced over at me quickly. “Ofcourse, that would be less thanideal ifwe weren’t compatible…withthings.”
Compatible.Likenotdatingtwoguysatonce?Yes,myguiltwastakingoveragain.“I’madominantandatop,sobreakitto me You’reboth,too”
Helaughedandwalkedafewstepsintothetrees,hishandontheguninhisholster. Iwantedtocalltohim,askingifhe’dseensomething,butthatwouldtakehisedgeifsomeonewastrulythere Hecameback quicklyenoughandsaid,“Squirrel.What?Doyouguysfeedthem?Steroids?”
Ilaughed,asthesquirrelslikedtotrytogetintothechickenfeedonthefarm.“You’dthink.They’repersistenttoo.”
“Thatthingwashuge.”
WewalkedonandIremindedhimoftheconversationwe’dbeenhaving.“So…arewecompatible?”
Insteadofansweringdirectly,hewascagey “Well,thatisaquestion,forsure Isuppose,ifwe’rejusttalkingroles,butthere ismoretoitthanthat.”
IlaughedasIwasreadytochokehim “Like?”
Again,insteadofanswering,hetoldmeastory.“WhenIfirstgotoutofthemarines,Ididn’tknowwhattodowithmyself.I dove headlongintopartying,andthatincludedsex.Iplayedall the roles youcouldthinkof,ineverykindofkinkyoucould thinkof”
“So,yourversatile?”
“No IfiguredoutwhatIwanted,though Ifoundoutwhatfitme Theproblemwasfindingsomeoneelsetofitme Itwasn’t aboutmyroleasmuchas…”
“Youlostme”
“Imeantto.Idon’twantallthecardsonthetablerightnow.Letmeeaseintoit,soIdon’tchaseyouoff.” Istoppedagainandasked,“Whatthehellareyouintothatyou’dchasemeoff?”
Heshookhisheadashekeptwalkinginfrontofme “Not now”
Intriguedandfrustrated,itfeltbetterthanguilt,jealousy,andanger,soIwentwithit. Icaughtup to himagainand said, suavely, or so Ithought, “I’mprettyflexible withthings, so don’tworrythatI’mgonna run.”
“Goodtoknow,”herepeated,andIagainwantedtochokehim
