CHELLE WOLFE
Lifegavehershadowsandshe’llmakesureherpastlooksdamngoodinthem. Rylee’scameralenscatchesmorethanjustdeadbodies,it’scaughttheeyeofamaskedartist. Sheescapedheroldlifethankstoaboythatstillhauntsherdreams Theonethatgotleftbehind Somehoweveryonewhocrossesherpathendsupdead,andshedoubtsitsjustkarmaatplay.Intheshadowsthere’salways someone.Andshecan’tstopbelievingit’shim.Theonewhosavedherfromalifeofheartache. As she looks head-oninto the shadows ofher ownhistory, she wonders ifjustmaybe, the boywho once saved her has foundheragain.
Copyright©2024ChelleWolfe
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For all of us who fell down the booktok hole of dark romance and crave masked, possessive, slightly crazy, and morally gray men
Gore/Violence Referencestoabuse Drugs/Alcohol GangViolence Weapons Foullanguage Stalking
AndifImissedanyreachoutandletmeknow.
trigger warnings
Thankstomyhusbandforthesupporttogetthisbookdone Alsoheneverasksquestions AlsotomyEmotionalSupporttextgroupthatbelievesinkarmaforallthenarcissiststhatplagueus. ThankyouArtsCanDareDesigns-MariaChristinePagtalunanforthecover<3andChrisandra’sCorrectionsforediting! Andthankyoureaders!Thankyouforgivingmeachanceandescapingintomyworldofdarknesswherethebadguysneed lovetoo.
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SomemusictogetintothemoodforCasandRylee Sins-RedLeather Nameless-SteveHowie GhostTown-Layto&NEONI Monster-ChandlerLeighton Alkaline-SleepToken FigureYouOut-Viola
Welcometotheworldthat’sownedbytheSpectors,thegangthatrunsthecity.Withthebadcomesfoundfamilyandbondsthat can’tbebroken.
Cas,Xander,andZeidenhaverisentopower CasthegrandsontoWinnieandTavenandhistwofriendsthathavebecome likebrothers.TogethertheytransformedtheSpectorsintowhattheyaretoday.
Aforcethatnoonecanscrewwith Haven’treadtheprequel,PromisedtoMe?Signupformynewsletteratwww.chellewolf.comtogetitforfree.
EIGHTYEARSEarlier
Cas
I’dburntheworldforher,andshejustmovedin.Orrather,shewasjustdraggedherebytheprickwhothinkshesomehow runstheSpectorsandnowhisdaughter.Idon’tseetheresemblance,andI’dbeaskingforapaternitytestifIwereher,except she’sterrifiedandrightlyso.Noonegetsdroppedoffingangterritoryandgetsoutunscathed.Youeitherswearallegianceor die Thereisnoinbetween
“Whatdoyoumakeofher?”Xasked.
IglancedatmyfriendstandingnexttoZeid Wewerethethreeamigos,ifthatwasathingintheSpectors Wewerewaiting forourtime,almostreadytochallengeeverythingthatthisfuckinggangwasbuilton,butwestillhadtofinishourplans.Years ofrevengehadfueledouranger,andnowshe’shereandIdidn’thaveaplanforher.
“Idon’tknow.”
Iwatchedhersitontheporchoftherun-downshitholethatstillbarelyqualifiedasahouse.Ithadbeenallofadaysince she’darrivedandnoneofusknewwhattothinkofher Mom,adeadstripper,anddad?Well,hewasusedupliketherestof them.Itwastimeforthenextgenerationtotakeoverandwewerejustwaitingoutourtime. Buther?
Zeidcrossedthestreetthatwasmorepotholethanasphaltandstoppedatthebottomstair. “Hey,whoyou?”
Shelookedupandstared Herbagwasstillsittingthere;fuckhadshebeenouthereallnight? “Girl,Iaskedwhoyouwere.”
Zeidwasthepatientone,ifthatwasathinginthislifestyle
Evenfromhere Icould see the red rimmingher eyes like she hadn’tstopped crying. Thenagain, her momhad justbeen murdered Weallknewthestory Theshitheadwasoutforhisexeversinceshelefthim Onlynooneknewwhyshemattered Noonehadsaidshitaboutadaughter.
“Rylee.”
Thatwasallshesaid Zeid’shandswerestuffedinhispockets,probablyholdingaswitchblade,readytofightwithanyone “Rylee?Youcomehangwithus.” Whatthefuckwashedoing?
Ryleedidn’tseemtobegettingup,butthenweallheardthesoundofherfather’svoicescreaminghername.Headdeda fewfunexpletiveslikewhoreandbitch That’swhenIfuckinglostmyever-lovingmindandranacrossthestreetandtookall threebroken-assstepsinoneleapasthedoorcrashedopened.IputmyselffrontandcenterbetweenRyleeandtheassholewho donatedsperm.
“Getoutofmyway Thisbitchhastopay”
Iwasready,andIwouldwinifthisassholeswung.Iwasyoung,sober,andmoreunstablethanafuckingone-leggedtable.
“Yeah,fromwhatIcansee,she’salreadypaidifshe’sstuckherewithyou” Hestumbled.
“Caspian,getthefuckoffmyporch.Youandyourlittlefriendshavecausedenoughtrouble.Ineedmoneyandshe’llhave todo.”
Acarbarreleddownthestreet,oneI’drecognizeanywhere.
“What the fuckyouneed that douche for?” I was referringto our fearless leader, the one that I’d planned to get rid of soonerratherthanlater.
“Pussy,that’swhat,andthisgirlhere?She’sgoingforapremium Look”
Hetossedmehisphone,andmyvisionwentredasIreadmessageaftermessage.
“Youofferedupyourdaughtertopayoffyourfuckingdebts?”
InearlycrushedthephoneinmyhandasIscrolledpastnumbersIrecognizedandsomeIdidn’t.Severalbeingpoliticians, andmostofthemhadameanstreak.
IlookedatZeidwhograbbedherbag
“Yeah,you’llhavetowhoreheroutlater.She’sgoingtostayatourplaceforafewdays.”
Herfather’sfacedarkened,andthenheflashedmearotted,toothygrin “Yeahsure.Thegoingrate’sahundredbucksanhour.”
Iflippedhimthebirdandtossedhisphonebackwhilereachingintomypocket “Thegoingrateiswhateverthefuckanyonewillpay.Here’sthreehundredtofuckoffandbuyyoutwoworthlessassholes anotherhit.”
IgrabbedRylee’sarmandyankedherwithme WhatthefuckwasIdoing?XandZeiddidn’tsayshitasshefollowedme, shakingbutsilent.Mygrandmahadraisedthethreeofus,orrather,shehadkeptusinline.Wedidn’thavemoneytoburn,not yet,butIsureasfuckwasn’tlettinganyoneruinsomeonelikeRylee
Her mother had gotten out, and maybe it was for the right reason. Maybe it wasn’t, but Rylee had had a chance, and somethingaboutthat,somethingabouther,mademewanttosaveher
“LOOK THIS WAY, MR. ” IbrokeofftolookatthepaperworkI’dbeengiven “Mr Willson”Helookedrealfamiliar
Iclicked the shutter button, and Mr. Willsonwould forever be frozeninabjecthorror. Strange, really. To be frozenina photoforeverinyourworstpositionever.
“It’slikeyoudidn’teventry.Isthisyourbestside?”
Istoodfrommycrouchandwalkedaroundthebody,carefulnottodisturbanyoftheevidence.Therewasn’tmucharound thisplacethatwouldcountforproof I’dbeenphotographingcrimescenesforafewmonthsnow Myshinynewcollegedegree hadn’texactlygottenmewhereIthoughtIwouldgo.Whichwasfine.StrangehowI’dbeengivenanoutofthiscityandhereI was,backwheretheechoesofmydemonsranrampant Isnappedanotherseriesofphotosandlookedatthedigitalscreen.
“Nope,thatwasdefiantlyyour bestside.”Isnappedanother image,thistimecapturingthebrainsleakingfromtheman’s shatteredskull.
“Youreallylookfamiliar.Ijustcan’tplacewhy.”Irapidfiredandcapturedeveryangleofthepale,sad,andlonelyman. “Oh,mygod Itcan’tbe”
Ipulled the camera awayfrommyface and crouched closer, leaninginso close Icould make outthe little crow’s feet aroundhiseyes
“Rylee,unlessyou’reintonecrophilia,getyourassoverhereandcatalogthisshit.”
Itookonemoreglanceatthedeadguyandsmirked.“Guessthat’skarmaforyou.”
Iwaltzedover tothedetectiveonthescene Helikedtogivemeawholelotofdirection,andIguesshehadtherightto whenhewastheoneinchargeofthecrimescene.
IsalutedasIstoppedinfrontofEricFuller,thedetectivethatIseemedtoseemorethandeadbodies
“Forfuck’ssake.He’sdead.Hedoesn’tneedtohaveafuckingconversationwithanyone.Unlessyoucangetmethename ofhiskillerandmotive”
Ishruggedandstartedtotakephotosofthescene,carefultogeteverytagandeverylittledetail.Iheldthecameracloseto myface,adjustingthefocus,andsmirked.
“Motive?I’mguessingit’sthewayhepropositionswomentogettheircarsfixed”
Thedetectiveclearedhisthroat,andIturnedaside-eyeattheguy.He’dstoppedwhateveritwashedidandglancedatthe guyandbackatme
“Howdoyouknowthat?Didyoutakehimout?”
Thatmademelaugh,andIhadtostopphotographingaltogether I’dneedtogetaphotoofwhatIthinkmighthavebeenhis brainswipedonthedoorjamb.I’dhavetolookatthatcloserinasecond.
“No,notme.Geez,whatkindofwomandoIlooklike?”
Helaughed
“Onethattalkstodeadguys,apparently.”
Iflashedhimagrin I’dseenthisdetectiveonseveralcrimescenes Ithadcrossedmymindthathewashandsome,carried himselfwell,andthat’swhereIstoppedthinkingabouthimatall.Justlikeeveryotherguy.Theywereaboutasusefulasgood oldWillsononthefloor.
“Well, talkingto the dead means thattheycan’tjudge you. Now canthey? Butgoingbackto the obvious withthis guy. I recognizehim.IbroughtmycartothatshoponMainSt.andValleyBrook.It’scloseenoughtomyapartmentthatIcouldwalk. Hetriedtogetmetosuckhisdickforatwentypercentdiscount”
Thedetective’seyesdarkened.IwasstartingtorecognizeDetectiveFuller’sfacialexpressions.Hehadhisowndemons, thatwasforcertain,andIsupposedyoudidn’tgetanywhereinlawenforcementunscathed “You’rekidding,right?”heasked. Ishookmyhead.
“No,Detective Fuller,Iamnotkiddingyou.He wasn’tgoingtogive me mycar backeither,butthen,like magic,itwas returnedtomyapartmentwithsomekidhandingmethekeys.Itwasreallyodd,butIassumeditwashimtryingtocover his pervertedass Andnow?Well,karmahascoveredmyass”
Overmyshoulder,hislifelessbodystilllaythere,becausetheonethingIcoulddependonwhatthatthedeadstayeddead. TheonethingIlikedaboutthisjob
“ThatSOB.”
IturnedbacktoFuller “It’snotnicetospeakbadlyaboutthedead ButIstillagreethatmaybethiswashiskarma” Thedetectivechuckled.
“Ifkarmacamewithanastybite,sure,”hesaid. Ishrugged
“Don’tyouthinkinyourlineofworkyouwouldpreferkarmatobiteback?Sureyouwouldn’thavealotofanswers,but you’dhavefewerassholesintheworld”
Itriedtonotdwellonwhatifs,butIsortoflikedthisidea.Ilikedtheideathatnoonewouldhavetolivethroughpain.I likedtheideathatbadguysgotwhatwascomingtothem
I’dcomebacktothis citynotbecausemyauntapproved,butbecauseitwas myfirstcorememoryofsomethingactually workingout.IassociatedthiscitywithCaspianWeber.Theonepersonwhohadmadethebadguyinmylifepay.
“Whatareyousmilingfor,Klein?” Ishookmyhead.
“Noreason Justrememberingagoodmemoryfrommyteens” Heletoutawhistle.
“Iguessthere’sareasonIaskforyoutocometomycrimescenes.Nothingseemstogettoyou.Howthefuckdoyousee bloodandbrainsandsmileatmemoriesofbeingakid?” Ishrugged.
“Becausenoteverythingyouseehereistheworstthingthat’severhappened” Hishandwasonmyelbowasheforcedmetolookathim.
“Whatdoesthatmean?”
Ididn’tlikethewayhewasstudyingme.
“Itmeansthatsometimesthemonstersgetwhattheydeserve,andsometimesit’snotpretty,butitcanstillbemorebeautiful thanthebruisestheyleave.”
Ipulledmyarmawayfromhim.I’dknownpeaceall offiveminutesinmylifeanditwasnotatthetouchofanymanor evenmyaunt I’d had peace for the moments thatI’d beenable to live nextto Cas He had beenmynightmare and mydark angel.Theproblemwasthat,whenI’dbeentakenaway,I’dneverbeenabletothankhim,andithadhauntedme.
I’msurethatmyteenagecrushwasnothingmorethanthatandI’dbuilthimupinmymind,butIhadalwayswantedtotell himthankyouforfreeingmeofmychains.
Iabsentlystartedtocatalogueeverythingaroundme,goingbacktothepaperfoldedupinmypocket.Istillhadn’thadthe gutstoopenitup Ithoughtcomingbackherewouldbringmepeace,butinstead,everynightbroughtmenightmares Icouldstill feel DetectiveFuller’seyesonme,anditmademyskinitch.Iknew thisfeelingall toowell though.I’dfelt watchedthe momentIwentto college onthe outskirts ofthe city Ishould have beenfreaked outand reported it,butafter a while,whateverthisfeelingofbeingwatchedwas,IalmostthoughtitmadeitseemlikeIwasn’taloneanymore.Ieventalked totheshadow thatIknew wasthere,evenifIcouldnevercatchit Thisthough?DetectiveFullerwatchingme?Itwasn’tthe same.
“What,Fuller?IappreciateyourequestingmebecausegodknowsIneedthemoney,butifyou’regoingtojudgemywork, thiswon’twork”
Heclearedhisthroatagain,andIsighedbeforelookingovermyshoulder. “What?Justsayit”
Hisdemeanorwasdifferentnow.Notatallthewayhe’dbeenmomentsago,allbusinessandstickuphisasslike. “Maybesometimewegogetcoffee”
I’dneverwalkedintoacrimesceneandbeensurprised,butthis? “I…Idon’treallydocoffee.”
Hishandswereinhisjeanpockets
“Alright.Well,letmeknowwhenyoufigureoutwhatyoudo.I’llseeyouaround,Klein.”
Inoddedandwatchedashewalkedaway “Sure,detective.Seeyouatthenextdeadbody.” Hepausedatthat.
“Eric.CallmeEric.”
Inodded,butIwascertainthehardlineofmylipstoldhimexactlyhowmuchIhadnoideawhyIwouldcallhimEric.
“Sure.Whateveryousay,Eric.” He nodded and keptwalking, and Ididn’tbother givinghimanother thought. Ididn’thave time for that. Iwould do my work,takemykeep-me-normalpill,andwatchmyTamagotchipetgrowup AllwhiledreamingaboutaboythatIhadn’tseen intwelveyearsandhadbeenapartofmylifeforallofafewmonths.Still.Iwantedtothankhim.Withouthim,Iwouldn’tbe heretoday Iwouldn’tbeanywhere I’dprobablybeamemoryinafolderjustlikeMr Williamswasabouttobe The little peepinmypocketremindedme Iprobablyneededtofeedmyonlyfriendor something.AtleastI’dmade one rightchoiceinmylifewiththislittleelectroniccreature ShewasaconstantreminderofwhyIdidn’thavearealpetorevena realpersoninmylife.
Iwasamess.Twelveyearsoftherapycouldn’teraseyearsoftrauma.Ishiftedandthesmallpokeofmetalhangingaround achainbetweenmybreastsremindedmeoftheonethingthathaderasedthepain Cas.
SPARKS CASCADED likearainbowfromhellasIgrounddownasharpedgeofmylatestwork Mybloodyclotheswere burningoutback,theknifecleanedandgrounddownandnowpartofthisweek’ssculpture,orwhatIlikedtocallarttherapy.
“Theboysarealreadygoingthroughthebooksattheautoshop.Shouldbringinsomequickcoinandit’safuckingbrilliant coverforustomoveintothatarea,”saidXander,orXasIlikedtocalloneofmybestfriendsandmyright-handguy.Inthis world,thereweren’tmanyyoucouldtrust,andmycirclewassmallerandtighterthanavirgininchurchonaSunday.
InoddedandpulledawaythegrinderasIadmiredmywork AmazinghowsomethingI’djustnaturallybeengoodatwas becomingmoreandmorehelpful withmycontrol oftheSpectors.Iwipedawaysweatthathadcollectedover mybrow asI addressedmybestfriend
“TheSpectorsneededabiggerpresence.ThissendsasolidmessagetotheRavensandtheVipersaboutwhoisthegreatest threat.”
I’d takenover years ago, and I’d beenfightinganuphill battle ever since. We needed moneyto bribe cops. We needed moneytoexpandoperations.Weneededmoneytobuyouttheblocks onour side ofthe city.Itall came downtowe needed money Moneycontrolledeverything
I’dearnedmyplaceattheheadoftheSpectors bybidingmytimeandamassingmyfortuneslowlyandmeticulously.I’d donewhatIneededtofillmypocketsandthosethatwouldmatterwithinthegang NooneneededtoknowthatI’ddonewhatI neededtoinordertoprovetomyselfthatIwasn’tsomelittleshitfromthewrongsideofthefuckingcity.Nooneneededto knowI’ddoneitforher.Iquicklywipedthatfrommymind,lookingoveratX.
Iwatchedhimforamomentlongerandthengotthewelderoutandflippeddownmyhelmet
He nodded as the garage door clattered and squeaked as someone came into whatIliked to call the shop. Ineeded the outletofmyart,butithadbecomealotmorethanjustart Itwas asolidwaytodisposeofoldweapons andturntheminto somethingnoonesuspectedasanythingotherthanmodernartwork.Therichfucksofthiscitypreferredtobeblind.Theycould buyabitofthecity’scrimesjusttofeelliketheylivedontheedge Myartwasthebloodsplatterofacitytornbygangs
“Hey, Cas,” said Zeiden. Zeid was the second and onlyother personwho Itrusted. He strolled throughthe shop like he ownedit,andtechnicallyhe’dbeenpartofmysuccess,sohedid.
“Headsup,”hesaid Iturnedandcaughtahandgun “Gotroomforonemoreonthatthing?” Ilookedoverthepieceandshrugged “Sure.Allthesewillgetmovedthisweekend.Yougottheshowallsetup?”
Hepracticallytookuptheentirecouchashespreadout “Fuck,moveover,”saidX. Zeiddidmove,butjustenoughthatXanderwouldn’tkillhim.
“X,yourassisgettingfat Maybeyouneedtogoworkoutsomemore,”ZeidsaidrightashecaughtX’sfisttohisbicep Ishookmyheadandwentaboutpullingthepartsoftheguninordertosprinklethemthroughoutthepiece.Icouldhidethis shitanywhere,andIdid
“Who’sthechick?”
Ididn’tanswerasthezap-zap-zapoftheweldergavemeadistraction.Ididn’thavetoanswertothem.Shewasmysecret. Exceptthismetalstatuewastryingtobetrayme.
Somehow, evenwiththe harshedges, joints ofone scrap ofmetal connected to another, and all the differentcolors and textures,itstillresembledawoman “What’sonyourmind,Cas?”Xsaidwithalaugh.
Ididn’tbotheransweringhimasIgotupfromthestoolwhereI’dspentfartoomuchtimetoday AsIrolledmyshoulders back,mymusclesprotested.
“Standup,Ineedapunchingbag,bitch.”
Theybothlaughed.
“Thisoneneedstogetmoved;calltheguysandmakethathappen.I’mheadingtothegym.”
Ididn’t need to bother lookingback Theywould get this figured out Iwould head to the gymright after Ichecked on Rylee.Shewasbackinthecity,andIdidn’tliketheshitshesomehowfoundherselfin.
I’ddealtwiththescumthatthoughthecouldtouchher Shewassaferforthatexactsecond Iswungmyjacket over myshoulder and grabbed mykeys offthe workbenchwhere I’d tossed them. Iwas onmybike beforeXandZeidcouldcomeoffertofollowmetothegym TheywouldshowupbecauseeveryoneintheSpectorsendedup thereatsomepoint.Ifyouweren’tquickonyourfeet,youendedupdead.
Inthemeantime,Ineededtostopoffandcheckonmyonlylittleproject.She’dbeenofflimitsyearsagoandIdoubtshe evenknewwhy Shewastooyoung,thatwasforfuckingsure,butithadn’tstoppedmefromprotectingher Shewasoneofthe goodones.Shedeservedtogetoutofthishellhole,andyetshewasback.EverythingI’ddonetogetheroutofhere,andshe wasback
Iclickedabuttononmyphoneandthetrackershedidn’tknowaboutpoppedup.Icouldfindherwherevershewas. Bingo
TheengineofmybikedrownedoutthesoundsofthecityasIspedaway,downthealleywhereitechoedoutontothestreet awayfromSpectorterritory.Myfuckinghome.
I’dkeptherawayfromallthis I’dkeptmyeyesonherforyears Andyethereshewas,andIwastooweaktostayaway I’ddonemybest,butIwas onlyhuman,regardless ofwhatIwantedanyonetothink.Ihadthe scars toproveit.Ihadmore scarsthananyonewouldsee Demons Butshewasn’toneofthem Shewasanangel,andI’dseenitthemomentherpieceof shitdadbroughthertolivewithhim.
Myangerburnedjustashotasitdidallthoseyearsago.Ryleehadn’tdeservedherfate.Hermothermadeashitchoiceand waskilledforit.I’dgivethatwomanalotofcreditforkeepingRyleesafeforaslongasshecould.Butnoonehidesfromthe gang.Notreally.
Deathwastheonlywayout That,ortakingoverandmakingitwhatyouwanted Ichosethelatter
Fortheinnocentgirlnextdoor?Ichosetotrytogetheroutbysomeoneelse’sdeath.
Iwasgettingtooclose Theinvitationhadjustbeendelivered,ashadthedressIwantedhertowear Icouldn’ttouchher Noonewasallowedtotouchher.
Fuck.WhatwasIthinking?I’dseenthepicturesovertheyears.I’dwatchedhergrowupfromadistance.Butherhere?She wasevenmoreinperson,anditfuckingpissedmeoff.
Iparkedmybikeablockawayandcheckedmyphoneagain.Sheshouldbepullinguptoherwalk-upapartmentanyminute. Itwouldn’thavematteredifImissedher Thebuildinghadmycamerasandmysecurity Ithadn’tbeenchancethatshe’d gottensuchagooddealonaplacethatwasfarnicerthanshecouldafford.Shedidn’tknowitwasattheveryedgeofSpector territoryandfar,farawayfromtheothers Therewasn’tmucharoundherethatwouldbeneutral Thepolicewereallowedto operate until theyweren’t. Her job offer? Well, Iwasn’ther fairygodfather. Rather, Iwas the devil witha need to control things.
Her car pulled up and parked directlyinfrontofthe building Ofcourse she would No one here would go against my directinstructionsthatthisspotwasforthiscar.Eventhesmallcoffeeshopunderherapartmentknew tomakesurethatspot stayedempty OfcourseithelpedmygranrantheDove Alittleperkofbeinginchargeifyouaskedmygran,whowastheonly personIwouldallowtobethisclosetoRylee.
Icouldhavehiddeninplainsightaroundhere,butIchosetostickintheshadows Shedidn’tneedtoknow Notyet Istill hadn’tfiguredherout.Whyhadshecomebackhere?
Fuck.WhyhadIinvestedmytimeinmakingsureshewassafealltheseyears?
AnswersIdidn’twanttoknowstilltriedtowiggletheirfuckingannoyingpresenceintomymind
Istoppedthespiralofmyownthoughtsasshegotoutofhercar.Fuck,shewassomuchmorebeautiful.Theyearshadbeen kind to that sweet little girl, and now she wasn’t so sweet anymore Her curves had become the front and center of my fantasies,andIneededfuckingtherapy.
This is whatanyone would have called obsession, exceptno one would dare tell me that No one would tell me Iwas anythingexceptforscary.
Iletoutabreathasshepickedupthepackage,pullingthecardout.Rightnow,shewasreadingthedetailsofmyartshow. Shewouldseethezero’sattachedtoafreelancegigtonight
Ilikedtheconfusioninhereyes.IfuckinggotoffonthewaysheturnedtolookaroundlikesheknewIwasthere.Iwasn’t alwaystheonewatchingher,butitwasalwaysbecauseofme,andIlikedthatshewasmorethanawareofmypresence I loved that I was around to protect her. The latest asshole was taught a very expensive lesson for messing with my beautiful little blossom. She didn’tknow, butwhenshe’d moved into myhood, she beenthe single bloomofhope, like my springinaconstantwinter,andIcouldn’tletanyonecrushherbloom.Notevenme.
Shedidn’tseemeandturnedbacktothepackage.Iknewhowthenextfewmomentswouldplayout.Shewouldgoinside
herapartment.Upthestairsandstraighttothekitchentable.Shealwaysdid,andIwouldwait. IwouldalwayswaituntilIcouldn’twaitanymore.
Ishifted,crossingmyarmsovermychestasIleanedintothebrickofmyhiddenholeinthewall Ismiledtomyselfwhenshecameintomyview.Thedrapeswereopenassheplacedtheboxonthetable.Sheseemedto beoverthinking,likethedamngiftwouldbite Itwouldn’t,butthegivermight Ismirked Ifsheonlyknew She’dcomebackto me.I’dsetherfree.I’dlethergo.Butnow?Shewasbackinthesnakepit,anditwasherchoicethistime.
Therestweremine
I GENTLY PLACED theboxonmytableandpushedittothecenter Somethingfeltverydifferentaboutthis Overtheyears, strangethingshadshownupatmyaunt’shouse.Mostlymoney,andI’dassumeditwasalwaysmyfather’scontactstakingcare ofthe daughter he’d leftanorphan. Ididn’tsee whyanyofthemcared. Theyhadn’tcared whenI’d satonthe porchwitha shiner.Theyhadn’tcaredwhenhe’dmurderedmymother.
Noonehadevertoldmewhohadkilledher,actually.ThemanIwassupposedtocallfathersaiditwasasuicide,butmy momwouldn’thaveleftme Shelovedme,orshelovedmethebestshecould Andthenshe’ddiedsomehow,andmyfather wastheretopickupthepieces.Theissue?Iwasn’tthepiecehewantedtopickup.
OnethinginmylifeIwasusedtowasthatpeoplewouldrandomlydisappearanytimeI’dgottenclosetothem Itstarted withmom.Myfatherthough?Hewasnoaccident.
Somethingalwaysfeltwrongabouthim.ThedayIwasdumpedonhisporchmighthavebeenthefirstclue.Hehadn’teven waitedformeatmymom’sfuneral.He’dwaitedforchildservicesladytobringmeby.Somethingtoldmehewaspissedthere hadbeennomoneyleftbehind.
Notthathewouldhaveusedittofixupthedumphe’dcalledahouseorfeedmeforthatmatter I’dcomealongwaysince then.Iwasnolongerbroken,much.
So,didIopenthebox?Therewasonlyeveronepersonthathadprotectedmeandthis?Well,forsomereason,Iknow it wasfromhim.Ithadtobe.Whoelsewouldhaveleftmeagift?Therehadneverbeenanygiftslikethisthough.
Onthetopwasaninvitationtothehottestartgalleryinthearea.Thatwasstrangeenough.Thedesignthough.Itwasstrange andfamiliaratthesametime Barbedwire
Ireachedformyshirt,claspingthethingagainstmychest,pullingattheringthathungthere.Itwasmadeofbarbedwire. Thesharpedgesweremostlytwistedandbrokenoffbynow Thepainthe’dpainteditwith,chippedaway Ithadneverbeen highquality.Someoneelse’strash,somespraypaintdiscardedalongthepilesofshitthatdecoratedtheyardsinplaceoflawn ornaments Buthe’dmadesomethingbeautifulfromthebrokenthings
Ifinallydroppedtheinvitation.Icouldn’tignorethehandwrittenbitofpaperthathaddemandedmyphotographyskillsin exchangeforathousanddollars.Whatkindofplacecouldaffordthat?
Thecardandpapersatonthetable,tauntingmewhileIpulledatthetailoftheribbonholdingtheboxclosed Itscreamed expensive.
TheblacksilkybowfellasideasIyankedthethingaway Forcingmyselftobreathe,Ipulledoffthelid
Whywas Iso nervous? Whyhad a little artsyinvitationwithsome barbed wire unnerved me? Ididn’tknow, butIhad hope
Holdingthelidbetweenmyhands,IleanedoverandputitdownasIreachedforwhatIknewwasadress.
Black,orrather,iridescentblack,toanindigoblue.IstoppedpullingitoutasIsawthemaskthathadsliddown.Ihadn’t seenituntilnow
Ipulledoutthematchingmaskandplaceditasideandpulledoutthedress.ItwasbeautifulandfarnicerthananythingI’d everworn WhywouldIneedsucharidiculousthing?
Holdingthebodiceagainstmytorso,Igiggled.
WhowasItotellabunchofpompousrichpeoplethatIwouldn’tweartheirart-approveddress?
Somethingcaughtmyeyeoutmywindow,andIfroze.Iputthedressdownandleanedoverthetable,butthestrangeglint didn’trepeatandtheredidn’tseemtobeanythingwhereIswearI’dseenitcomefrom.
“Great I’mlosingit”
IgrabbedmycelloutofmybackpocketanddialedoneofthefewfriendsI’dmade.I’dneverhadrealfriends,butIwas trying Thephonerangatthetapofthecallbutton
“How’smyfavoritecreepy-assphotographer?Tellmeyougotthisguy’sbrainsplatteredeverywhere.” Isnorted.
“Uh,yeah.You’reliketheonlycreepyfanIhave.” Iheardherchuckleassomethingclatteredinthebackground.
“WhatcanIsay?You’remyoutlettotherealworld Ionlygetthemoncethecrimescenehasbeencleaned” Whenshesaid“them”,shemeantthebodies.Iglancedbackatthespotacrossthestreet.Stillnothing.
“Youdohaveareallife,Cali Youjustchoosetohangoutinthemorgueeverychanceyoucan” Therewassilenceonthephoneforaheartbeat.
“Yeah Iknow Lessscary It’swhyyou’re,like,myonlyfriend,becauseyouwillcomehereandhangoutwithme” Ilookedatthedress.
“Speakingofhangingout,or,well,lackthereof.Igotastrangeinvitationtophotographtheshowatthatartgallery,Enigma. Youknowtheonethat ”
Ipulledthephoneawayfromhersqueals.
“Youdidnot,”sheyelledatahighpitch “Idid.Asthephotographer.”
Shewasquietthen
“Theyneverallowphotography.That’scrazy.Holdon.” Iheardherclickingawayatakeyboard.
“There’sabigshowfromthatmaskedartist,ArcaneAlchemist Nooneactuallyknowswhoheis,buttherearerumorshe’s tiedtooneofthegangsaroundthecity.”
Ilookedatthedressandthemask “Masked,huh?”
Shescoffed.
“Doyoupayattentiontoanything?” Ishrugged,eventhoughshecouldn’tseeme.
“I’mnotreallyintoart Sonotreally Buttheinvitationcamewithamaskandadress” Iswearherlaughterwasalittlemanic.
“Don’t question, just go These things are invitationonly This site is all gossip, but I guarantee it’s not wrong Social mediasaysthatit’sinvitationonly.Onlytherich,thatis.It’sniceforthemtosupplyyouwithadresssoyouatleastdon’tneed toworryaboutthat.Didtheygiveyouaplusonebychance?I’dleavetheoldstiffsjusttoseethatplace.” Iwrinkledmynose.
“Girl,weneedtogetyousomeonewithapulsethatwouldactuallymissyou.” Icouldhearhersigh
“Don’tjudgewhatyoudon’tknow.I’llbeworkinglateonthisnewbody,sostopbyonyourwayhome?” Iglancedattheclockontheoven
“Shit,yeah,okay.IonlyhaveanhourtogetmyasslookinglikeIbelong.Idon’tknowwhyme.Itfeelsweird.”
“Sometimeslifegivesyoushadows,Rylee,andall youcandoisusethemtoyouradvantage.Goandhideinplainsight andgetaglimpseoftheothersidefromtheshadows”
Shehungupwithoutanotherword,andIdidn’tknowifI’dsaidsomethingwrongorifshewasjustbeingheroddself.She wasrightthough SheandIhadabondinwhatshecalledourshadows,ourpasts Theyfollowedyoueverywhere,andsometimes,justonceinawhile,theygiveuscomfort.
Enigma.That’sallthesignsaid,andyettheopulenceofthesilvercursivesaidmore.Thisplacescreamedmoney.ItscreamedI didn’tfithere
Iwastoobusylookingattheblacked-outwindowswithgoldandsilverlettering,wonderingwhatreallywentoninsidea placelikethis Inearlypeedmyselfwhensomeonerappedonmydoor
Throughshakyfingers,Istillmanagedtorollthewindowdown.
“MissKlein,rightthisway.”
Iwantedtoaskhowheknewmyname,butthetattoosthatpeekedoutoverhiscollarhadmeshuttingmymouthandgoing withit.
“I’llparkyourcarforyou”
Iwasn’tmoving.
“CanIparkmyowncar?Idon’thaveanymoneytotipyou.”
HewascertainlypartoftheSpectors.ThetelltalehourglassIsawwithhiseverymovementunderthatwhitecollar,andno doubt,belowit,therewouldbethesignaturebarbedwireandasmokySpector’sfaceinside.
“Noneedtotipme,boss’sorders.Yougetouthere,andIparkthecar.” Boss’sorders?
“Who’syourboss?Thatjustseemsreally,Idunno,controlling” Theguyheldouthishand.
“Look,Idon’tneedtobecastratedoveracar It’savaletonlyevent Soplease,MissKlein,takemyhandandheadthrough themaindoors.Yourcarwillbewelltakencareof.”
Valet?Cali’swordscamebacktome Right Inviteonly Superrich Irolledmyeyesandgotout
“Ohwait,”IsaidasIreachedbackinformybag.“Ican’tleavemycamera,nowcanI?”
Henodded,butIwasalreadytryingtofocusonnottrippingintheshoes.Mydownstairsneighbor,theoldladywhoranthe Dovecoffeeshopnextdoor,hadbroughtupapackagethathadaccidentallybeendeliveredtoher Ithadledtoalotoftsksand offeringto getme ready. And now, Iwas grateful for her help withmyhair. For beingso old, she seemed to have steadier handsthanIeverdidandhadtendrilsframingmyface Herworkmadeittowherewalkingintothisplace,Ididn’tlookoutof place,regardlessofthetremblingthataccompaniedeverystep.
Tonightwasapileoffirsts Anditwasn’tjustthisplace Myaunthadneverbeenawarmwoman,alwaysmadthatshehad toraiseateenager.I’dgrownusedtorelyingonmyself.Ithadtobeasigntohaveatotalstrangershowmekindness.Ineeded thistoworkout.Ineededthemoney.Theragingstormofnervesinmystomachforgotallaboutthekindnessthough,asIclickclacked my ass up to the massive doors Before I could reach out though, the door opened, giving me a view of the dark vestibule.
“MissKlein,rightthisway”
Iturned to the voice and saw the guywho had opened the door. He was tattooed and menacinglooking, butina suit. I wonderediftheSpectorshiredoutthemselvesforserviceslikesecuritybecausethisguy,forsure,wasthematchinghalftothe guyoutfront.
“Uh,okay.Thanks?”
Heledmethroughanothersetofdoors,outofthedark,andopenedintoaproperlylitgallery Or,well,properlylitifyou weretheartwork.Thelightswereotherwiseoddcolorsandplacedatoddangles.EccentricwastheonlywordIcouldcome upwith Iwatchedaserverwithatrayofchampagne I’ddefiantlysteppedintoanalternateuniverse “So,doIjusttakepicturesoftheart?Anyspecificrequirements?Arethesebeingsubmittedtoanything?”
Theguythathadaccompaniedmestoppedataparticularlyhauntingpieceofwork.
“Thebosssaidtogiveyoufreerein.HewillrequireyoutosignthisNDA,butotherwise,youarefreetophotographtheart andtheeventitself.Ourclientelerequiresanonymity,hencethemasks.”
ItwasthenthatIlookedaroundandrealizedeveryone,andImeaneveryone,hadonamask Everyonebutme “Oh,Iforgot.Holdon.”
Ireached into mycamera bag I’d atleasttried to be somewhatorganized Icouldn’tdrive withthe thingon, butIalso hadn’texpectedtohavemycar parkedforme.Happycoincidence,Iguess,thatI’dtuckedthedelicatelacythinginthefront pocket.
IgentlytriedtoflattenitandstraightenitalloutbeforeIbroughtittomyeyes “Hey,canyou ”
IbrokeoffwhenIrealizedtheguywasgone Ofcoursehewas Right
Ilookedaroundandrealizedthisplacehadlotsofnooksandcrannies,andIwasn’tsure,butitwasprobablyforthewhims oftheartists
IshuffledtothesideandputthebagdownatmyfeetasItriedtotiethemaskwithoutruiningmycurls. Ijumpedasawarmhandlayovermine,stoppingme.
“Allowme”
Ishiveredatthesoundofhisvoice.
“Sure Thanks”
Idroppedmyhands andletthemantieonthemask.Thedress seemedrather thin.His bodysoclose,his heatseepedin throughthefabric IswallowedattheideaofastrangersoclosethatIcouldpracticallyfeelhimagainstme Hewasn’tthough Hewasjustcloserthananymanhadgottentomewithoutupanddisappearingthenextday. “Beautiful.”
Icouldn’trememberhowtobreatheashiswarmhandsliddownmyneck,overmyshoulder,downtowardsthefabric “Wait,no,stopthat.”
Iturnedtoslaphim,buthecaughtmywrist Wewerealreadyinadarkerspaceofthegallery,andnoonecouldseethatI washere,letaloneindistress.Hishandsqueezedmywristjustthissideofhard,andtheideaofwhatthatstrengthcoulddo hadmymouthgoingdry.Itookinthemaskthathewore.White,withacutoutjustforhismouth.Blackandredstreaksranover itinpatternswithnopurpose.HewasdifferentfromtheothersI’donlyglancedat.Heseemededgy,dark.AndthenImethis eyes.
Thoseeyesweresofamiliar.
BeforeIcouldaskmorequestionsorsayanythingatall,heusedthatstrengthandpulledmecloser,twistingmetohiswill. Myasswasflushagainsthimthistime,mybackpressedagainstahardbody,myarmpinningmetohimasheheldmetight It wasn’tpainful,butIwasathisdisposal.Ishouldbepanickingrightnow.Ishouldbereally,reallyworriedthatthiswasgoing tosuck,andIwouldn’tgetpaid,andI’dbegoinghomewithafewmorememoriesthanI’dexpected “I,uh.I’mnottheentertainment.”
Hislowchucklevibratedagainstmyback
“No.Youarenot.Myartis.”
Hisart?
“You’retheartist?I’msosorry DidIdosomethingwrong?Iforgotthemask,butit’sonnow Icanjust ” His hand was over mymouth, and lord help me, I didn’t bite him. Whydidn’t I bite him? Was it bad to admit that he smelledlikeheavenifheavensmelledofgreaseandmetalandmalemusk?Fuck I’dbeengoingdownaverydarkroadofsex starvation,butthiswasanewlow.
Thehandnowovermymouthletmehavemywristback,exceptthathisotherhandslidoverthesmooth,paper-thinfabric ofthedressIhadn’tpickedout.
“Thisfitsyouperfectly.”
Itriedtosaysomething,butitcameoutmuffled
“Youdon’tneedtothankme.Youcomingisthanksenough.ItoldyouI’dalwaysprotectyou.”
Mybreathingslowedatthosewords Myheartstuttered
Hishandslippedlowerovermybelly,acrossmyhip,andstoppedrightatthetopoftheslitofthedress.Thedressshowed alotmoreskinthanI’deverthoughtofshowing.Evenmypromdresshadcoveredupmore,andI’dbeenyoungeranddumber backthen.Ofcourse,I’dneveractuallyworniteither.Mydatehadnevershownup.
His fingers playedatthe seam,andIsuckedina breathunder thatcontrollinghandofhis as his fingers dancedover the creaseofmythighandhip,movingeverclosertoacertainareaIwasn’tsureIdidn’twanttouchedbyamysteriousstranger
“Tellmewhyyou’rehere,”hesaid.Hisvoicewaslowandquiet.He’dsaidhe’dprotectmeandonlyonepersonhadever saidthat “I’mremovingmyhand Don’tscream,andIwon’thurtyou Butanswermyquestion”
Hishanddroppedtomythroat,andfuckifmybodydidn’tseemtocomealivewithapulseofneedallonitsown.Theman hadn’tdon’tanythingyet.Hisfingersstillplayedatjustthissideofthewrongsideofinnocenceundermydressandhisother handcreatedareallysickkindofnecklacethat,apparently,Iwasinto.
“Igotaninvitation ”
“Shhh Nothere NotEnigma Whyareyoubackinmycity?”
Hiscity?Thatcouldn’tbetheboyI’dthoughthewas.Thiscouldn’tbemyCas.Hedidn’townthecity.Sowhowasthis, andwhywasIjustlettinghimtouchme?
“It’safreecity.”
Whynotpoke the artist? Iwas gettinga thousanddollars tobe here.Ifhe wantedtoplaytwentyquestions inthe corner, fine
Hislipsnearlytouchedtheedgeofmyear,andIshiveredattheheatofeveryword.
“Itoldyoutorun Itoldyoutohide Itoldyoutoneverlookback,andyethereyouare,sweetlittlemouse Mysweetlittle blossom.”
Thistime,myheartstopped “Cas?”
Hedidn’tanswer.Notreally.Histonguetracedovertheshellofmyear.Hisfingersbelowmydressdancedevercloserto mypussy Myentire brainwas shortcircuitingas his flingers played withthe edge ofmypanties, pushingpastthe pathetic barrier.
“Please,tellmeit’syou”
Onehandstayedatmythroat,butthefingersofhisotherfoundmyslit.
“Whatifitwasn’tCas?”
Fuck.Whatifitwasn’t?
I tried to pull away from his taunting fingers, but the movement just pushed my ass closer into him, where I met an impressivehardlength Mypussywasinstantlywet
IchuckledattheideathatIcouldaskifthatwasaguninhispocket,butIknewbetter.Iknewsomuchbetterthantoaska Spectoranything Oraskaboutsomethingthisimpressive Ididn’tneedtoruinthismoment
“Whatwouldyoudo,Rylee?Wouldyoustillletamantouchyoulikethis?”
Heslidhisfingerthroughmyfolders,grazingmyclitonhiswaydowntomyentrancebeforehetrailedbackup. Myvoicetrembled,butIwasn’tafraid.
“Idon’tknow.”
Hechuckledlowandalmostthreatening,likeheknewasecretthatwouldbreakme.
“Youdon’tknow?”
Heplayedatmyclitthistimeashishandtightenedjustthissideofuncomfortablearoundmyneck,andfuckwasIherefor thisshow.
“I ” IwascutoffbymymoanasItriedtobiteitback.
“Shh,wouldn’twantanyonetohearyou YoudoasIask,andIwillopenupdoorsforyou Iwillshow youmoremoney thanyoucandreamof.”
Ididn’tthinkIactuallycaredaboutanyofthat,butfuckifhisfingersweren’tmagic,andIwasstartingtowanttobuyinto theirdarkpromise
Iheldoutmyhands,grippingatthewallashisfingerputalittlemorepressureagainstmysensitivenub.Hisfingersslid downmyslit, over myentrance again, before comingbackup to playagainand again Heatpooled low inmybellyas the invisiblecoilofdesireandneedtightenedalittlemorewitheveryflick,graze,andcaressofhisfingers.
“God,please Tellme-tellmeIfoundyou”Iwasbegging,panting,pleadingforittobehim
“IbelieveIfoundyou,littleblossom.Whereyoushouldn’tbe.”
Hisfingerspressedhardagainstmyclitinonestrongstroke,andIshattered.HishandcoveredmymouthasItriedtostifle myowncryofrelease
Whattheever-lovingfuckhadjusthappened?
Mybreathingtriedtoreturntonormal,buttheorgasmwasn’ttheonlythingmakingitskipandpatteraway I’dfinallyfoundhim.
I HADN’T PLANNED tofingerfuckRyleeinthemiddleofmyshow,butthesecondIsawher Well,hell Ilostalllogical thought.
“So,Rylee.Letmeaskyouagain.WhatifIwasn’tCas?WouldIhavetokillanothermanfortouchingyou?”
Herbodyshudderedagainstme.Shewasstillcomingfrommylittlegame.Fuck,thathadn’tbeentheplanatall.Iwouldget whatwasminesoonenough,buthere?Sowewerehiddenawayenough,butifevenonesinglepersonhadheardherkeening cries,Iwouldhavetokillthem,andthatwasreallybadforbusiness
“Iknowit’syou.Ijust…”shewasstilltryingtobreathe.“Ijustwantedtohearyousayit.”
I slipped myfingers frombetweenher thighs, pressingmycockagainst her ass for good measure I turned her around, lettingherseeme.Oratleastwhateveryoneelsegottoseewiththemaskon.Sheknewthough.Isawthatlook.She’dknown mewithoutseeinganythingelsebutmyeyes.AtleastIknewtheinfatuationhadn’tbeeninmyheadalltheseyears.Iprotected herandsavedherforme.Alltheseyears,Ijustneededtoknowwhenshewasready.
IcouldwaitifIhadto,butrightnow?Withthissheerdressbarelyseparatingus,herfuckingcleavageonfuckingdisplay?I leanedinandclaimedher beautiful mouth Ijustneededataste Butas shekissedmeback,mytonguestolemoreandmore, pressingagainsthermouth,lettingmein.Hertonguedancedwithmine.
Someoneclearedtheirthroat
“Hey,uh,boss,weneedtostartthesale.”
Fuckinghell.Ipulledaway,pullingherbottomlipgentlybetweenmyteethasIdidso.
“Iwillberightthere”
IknewX’svoiceandwasthankfulitwashim.Hedidn’texactlyknowwhatwasgoingon,buthewouldn’tbreathethisto anyone EveryoneknewthatIhadaphotographercomingandthatshewastobeguarded,protected,andallowedallaccessfor asecretproject.Noonequestionedmymotives.Hewouldthough.Justlater.
IstillneededoneanswerbeforeIleft “Tellme,blossom.Whydidyoucomeback?” Shesuckedinabreath.
“Tofindyou,”shesaid Fuckme.
Ipulledaway
“Fixyourselfup.And,”Ipausedtograbmysuitjacketoff,“andputthisoverthat.Ihatethatfuckingdress.” Shesmootheddownthebodiceofthedressandlookedatitandthenatme “Ilikedit,”shesaid.
“Rylee,takethefuckingcoatorIwillbanyoufromherewhileburningthatgoddamdress.Icouldkillmygrandmother.” SheeyedmebuttookthecoatasifshewasprettysureIwasn’tkidding Iwasn’t
“I.Okay.Well.Isthatwhopickeditout?Yourgrandmotherhasgreattaste,butfine.CanIgotakephotosnow?Of…”She pausedandpeekedaroundthecorner
“Isallthisartyours?”
Ishrugged.Iwatchedhertrytoseeitall.Therewasalot.Therealwayswas.WeneededtogetridofenoughmetalthatI neverhadashortageofsupplies,andwhenIneverslept?Ithelpedmeclearmymind.
“It’sbeautiful,”shesaid.
Ryleeturnedbacktome,andIwascompletelymesmerizedbyherasshereachedintoherdress,thetoppullingdownabit asshereachedforsomethingandpulleditout.
“Ikeptthis,”shesaid AttheendofalongchainwasthehideouslittleringI’dgivenherfromsomeold,discardedshitIfoundaroundtheevercrumblingyards.IthadbeentheonlythingIcouldgivehertoprotectheratnight.Backthen,thebarbswereoutandsharp.
“Alotofgooditdid,eh,blossom.”
Shelookedatitagainandtuckeditbackaway.Itlookedlikeshe’dhadthebarbssandeddownabit,hardtosay,butwho knewwhyshekeptthatawfulthing
“Well,Ihavetogo.Signthepapersandyouarefreetophotographwhateveryouwant.Iwillhavemyguyscomegetthe imagestwodaysfromnow”
Shenoddedandwatchedmewalkaway.
“And,Rylee?Youcrossme,andyouwillpayfarmorethanyourfathereverdid” Hereyeswerewide.Good.Couldn’tmakethistooeasy.
Iwalkedoutandstrolledtowardsthecenterofthegallery.Theauctionwasabouttostartnowthateveryonewashere.The city’seliteandthesickest Someaskedforpiecestobecommissionedasamemoryofanenemytheyhadcontractedustotake careofandtheyweresickenoughtowantamemento.Onethatthecopswouldn’tbeabletotrace.Onethecopswouldn’tdare trytotrace Otherpieceswerejustthat Somanyofthemexudedsexuality,andthatgotthewivesoftheseprickslooseningup husband’swallets.
Ididn’tcare Eachtimeoneofthemsoldwasmoneyinmybank,andmoneymeantpower Itmeantsafety Istoppedinfrontofthecrowd.
“Thankyoufor joiningme at Enigma. Youknow the rules. Bid onanypiece. The highest bid usuallywins,” Isaid and grabbed a glass ofwhatever these richdouchecanoes drank “Never remove your mask Use your ID number and enjoythe show.WelcometoArcaneAlchemistandthedemonsfromwithin.”
I was good at the theatrics I’d pretended nearlymyentire life The crowd gave me their little golf claps, and thenthe dancers and acrobats tookto their spots. Theywould trulygeta show withmyartwork. Iwould stand here stoic, and they wouldwalkaway,thinkingthatthismadethemaccessorytosomethingdark.Whateverletthemsleepatnight,Isupposed.
Iturned around to see ifmylittle blossomhad come outto playyet. I’d unnerved her. I’d confused her. Ihad her right whereIwantedher.
Ismiled as her innocence shone like a beaconinhere There she was, staringata nearlynaked acrobathangingfroma largeringfastenedfromtheceiling.Iwatchedamomentlongerasshelettheshockfallaway,andthenIsaw hercomealive withthatcamera Shewasanartistinherownright Butheraunthadsquashedthatdream Iwouldbringitbacktolife
Iwas good at bringingdemons outto play, and she was gettinga front-row seatto the shitshow she’d walked into and awoken.
WHATTHE ACTUAL FUCK?
Ibolteduprightinmyownbedinmyownclothesatthesoundofmyownphone IttookafewsecondstofigureoutwhereI was.TheissueIhadwasthatIdidn’trememberleavingtheparty.Hell,Ididn’tevenremembermuchofthesecondhalfofthe party.OneofthemaskedguysthatIwascertainwasaSpectorsgangmemberhadgivenmeadrinkand… “Sonofabitch”
Thephonewas ringingagain.Fuck.Fuck.Fuckthosefuckingfuckers.Myheaddidn’tappreciatethetrillingsound,andI finallyansweredit “What?”
“Isthatanywaytotreatyourfavoritedetective?”
Iblinked.Shit.
“Oh,sorry.Iforgottolookatwhowascalling.Itwasalatenight.”
Hewasquietforasecond “Ithoughtyoudidn’tgoout?”
There was a lotofthoughthappeninginmyhead,butmostofitwas tryingtofill insome gaps.Alotofitwas tryingto actuallyfigureoutifwhatIthoughtreallyhappenedhadactuallyhappened “Oh,I.No.Idon’t.Igotafreelancegigtophotographanartshow.Iknowit’shardtobelieve,butartwasmypassion,not deadpeople.”
Hewhistledoverthephone.
“Alrightthen.Youseemalittle…”hesaid,soIfinishedforhim.
“Spicy?Hungover?Grumpyasadamncat?”
Helaughed.Idon’tthinkI’deverheardDetectiveFullerlaugh.
“Ikindoflikeyoulikethis BringheraroundwhenyouvisittheaddressI’mtextingyou Oh,andbringwhateveryouneed tonotsmellthisplace.”
Hehungup,andIgroanedasIfloppeddownonmybed.Myphonelandedsomewhereonthefloor,andIjustdidn’tcare.If Ijustclosedmyeyesforanotherminute.ExceptIwantedtonotsleep,andIwantedtoplaydetectiveofmyowndamnlife.The worldtriedtoswimawayfromme,butIsloweddownmymusingsandcaughtsightofawaternexttomybed.Itwasn’talla dream Iwassureofthat
Ithadallhappened.
Thelittleblueandredpills?Painmeds Someonehadbroughtmehome Undressedme,leftmewaterandmedslikethey knewIwasgoingtofeellikeroadkilltoday.
“Whyinvitemejusttodrugme,youasshole?”Notthathecouldhearmeanyway. IletthepillsslipdownmythroatandthenIgentlylaidmyselfdown Floppingwasn’tdoingmyheadanyfavors Whathadhappenedlastnight?
I needed my camera I paused for a second though and let my hand slide over my body, tracing a trail that my nerves definitelyremembered.Whatthehell?
Thathadbeenthefirstorgasmanyonehadevergivenme,andithadbeenwhileIwasstandinginacornerofafuckingart gallery.
Mypussytightened like she remembered, andshe was thankful.Ihad verylittle experience andfound a vibrator to be a better boyfriend thananyone I’d ever eventried to round anyofthe bases with Almosteverysingle guyI’d flirted withor dateddisappeared.Allofthem.
Ihadn’tdatedinhighschool,or whathadbeenleftofitwhenI’dgottentomyaunt’s I’dbeentoobrokenor maybe too hunguponamanthatdidn’tevenknowIwasalive.NotlikeIwantedhimto.College?I’dtried,andtheyallleftme. Thatwasmylongtrailofabrokenheart
Andyetlastnighthe’dknownjusthowtoplayme.Howhadhefingeredmeintoanorgasmstillrockingmynetherregions
evennow?
IthadtobeCaspian,buteventhatwasfuzzy.Hadhetoldmewhohewas?Shit.Hadhesaidyes,it’sme,your long-lost crushfromthewrongsideoftown?
Shit.Shit.Shit.Evenifitwashim,Ididn’thaveawayofgettingaholdofhim.
AmomentofpanicfilledmeasIfeltforwhatshouldhavehungaroundmyneck Thechainwasgone,andmyheartwasin mythroat.
No AcidchurnedasIfranticallylookedaroundmybed Wherewasit?MyeyesburnedasItossedmypillowsonthebed andthere,underathrowpillow,wasthechainwiththesillylittlering.
Casneverknewwhathappenedthatnight.Notreally.He’dseenthebloodallovermyhandsandfreakedthefuckout.He wasrighttoo I’dbeennumb Thering,aballoftetanusasitwas,wasmysafetynet,andithadstoppedmyfather’sfriendfrom rapingme.Ithadstoppedmyfather fromcatchingme as Isprintedfor the kitchenandgrabbedwhatever dirty-ass knife laid aroundontherottingfoodanddriedbloodandgodknewwhatelse
Maybesexwasn’tthatimportanttome.I’dwantedtoprovetomyselfincollegethatIwasovereverythingbygettingridof mydamnvirginityto prove a point Iwanted to be over the trauma Over the factmydad saw me as a piece ofass to earn income.IwouldneverforgetwhatitfeltliketoslicethesoftfleshofacockwhenIwrappedmyfingersaroundhislessthan impressivemember.
Oneweek I’dsurvivedoneweekinthathouseandwalkedawaywithscarsthatI’dneverimagined Thephonewokeme fromtheshadowsofmypast,andIgotoffthenowdestroyedbedandgrabbedatitagain.
Blocked Ianswereditanyway
“Goodmorning,blossom.Readytoplaycatandmouse?”
IgrippedmyphonetoohardandstoppedwhenIsworeIheardacrack.
“Ifyoudrugthemouse,youprick,thereisnogame.”
Hechuckled.
“Thatwasanunfortunateaccident Thewaterwasmeanttobegiventoyouathome Iknowhowyoutossandturnatnight, andIwantedyoutosleepwell.”
Icouldn’ttellifhewasjokingornot Hesoundedhonest Andhewasn’twrong Well,damn Thatwasalmostsweet
“CaspianWeber,Ican’tdecideifyou’rebeingallsweetlikeIsomehowbuiltyouupinmyheadorifyou’rejustanother psychofuckboythatrapesgirlswhenthey’redrugged.”
Thistime,hewasn’tlaughing.
“Noonetouchedyou.Iwastheonlyoneinthatapartmentlastnightandbelieveme,Rylee.YouwouldknowifI’dfucked you”
Thewayhesaidthathadashiverchasingalongmyspine.Whycouldheturnthisintosomethingalmostchivalrousandhot? Whatthehellwaswrongwithme?
“Well,soyousay.”
Histonewasplayfulagain.
“I’dbehappytoshowyouanytimeyou’reready,blossom Youjustsaytheword” Saytheword?
“Whatword?Yes?Youneverevenconfirmedyou’rereallyCas WhatIfIjustletsomesexy,strange,slightlyoffhisrocker mandiddlemybean?Sure,please,strangeman,comefuckmesoIcangetyououtofmysystemandIcangofindtheoneboyI cametofindwhenImovedbackhere”
Thesilencewaschargedandfucked-upmesomehowthoughtheavybreathingwasaturnon.
“Rylee,Iamnotaboy,thatiscertain.Ihaven’tbeenthatboyyoudreamofsincethedayIburneddownthathousewithtwo screamingassholestiedupinsideofit And,ifyoureallydiddoubtthatIwasn’twhoyouthoughtIwasandyoustill letme touchyou?Fuck.”
TherewastoomuchgrumbleonthewayhesaidfuckformetonotrealizeImighthavecrossedasmalllineofhis “Just,Rylee,youbetterbejoking,orIwillcomeoverthererightnowandkidnapyoubeforeyoucanmakeanyothershit choicesforyourself”
Thatmademesmile.
“SoyouadmitthatlettingsomestrangemantouchmewhenIwassupposedtobeworkingandthentrustinghimtoserveme undruggedwaterwasashitchoice?Great Thenasmyfirstofficialsmartchoice?Pleasestophiringme”
And Ihungup. Iwas feelingbetter all ready. I’d found Caspian, enjoyed his little orgasmguiltfree, and, well, Ihad to checkmybankaccountfirst Iopeneduptheapp,andsureenough,thereitwas Anextrathousanddollarsinmyname There wasonlyonesmallcrackinmyplan.
I’dneveractuallythoughtaboutwhatwouldhappenafterIfoundCas.
Whatwouldhappenifhedidn’twantme?Thatwaseasyenoughtobelieve.I’dalwaysimaginedsayingthanksandwalking backtolickmylittle-girl's-crushwounds.
Buttheideathathenotonlymightwantme,butthathewasbatshitcrazy? IhadnoideawhatI’djustwalkedintoandwhyIlikeditsomuch.
I DRANKthelastdropofcoffeeasIcontemplatedhowtopunishmylittleblossom
“Gran,I’llbeoutside.Ifyouhearascream,justignoreit.”
Shewassittingdownintheback,bossingaroundthehelp.I’dforcedhertohiresomeonetohelpher,andsheseemedtobe inherelement.Granwouldneverbeold.Shewasstillspunkyandfulloffire,butsomeonehadtolookoutforher.
“Caspian,youbenicetothatgirl.She’shadaroughlife.” Isighed
“Roughlife thatI’ve helped make better. And fuck, Gran, do notgetme started onthe dress youhad sentto her. Isaid tastefulgownforablack-tieaffair WhatdoyouthinkIdo?Runafuckingfightringandshewasgoingtobearinggirl?”
GrangotupandmovedalittlefasterthanI’dexpectforalittleoldwoman,andshebroughttherollingpinwithher.
“Don’tyousassme,Caspian.IwantgrandbabiesbeforeIdie.IfIhavetodollupthatgirlandlethergirlybitsflytoget youtoseewhatisrightinfrontofyou?Well,Idarnwellwill.Youdidn’tgettothetopofthefoodchainjusttoletyourblood diewithyou.Getmeagrandbabybeforeyougetyourselfshot.”
IlookedaroundandsawalloftwoSpectorssittingtherewithbrightredfacesastheytriedtoholdinthelaughter ZeidandXwerenext.
“Gotalktothem,Gran Ineedtogocatchthebaby-makingfactory,apparently” Shehuffed.
“Don’tyoudarecallherthat,Caspian,andasforyoutwo ”
Ididn’twaitaroundtohearhergoafterthem IhadtointerceptRylee I’dcalledherbackthreetimes,andwitheachring, myangerflared.
Istepped outside ofthe coffee shop and stood frontand center ather door I’d waitall fuckingdayifIhad to Iknew I wouldn’thaveto,thankstothetext.IknewshewouldgotoworkandwouldberunninglateifIhadanythingtosayaboutit. Fuckme
Howdareshetauntme?
Nooneeverchallengedme.Upuntilafewmonthsago,IwascertainshewouldbeaneasytargetifIwantedtomakeher one I’dstudiedher Followedher Allinthenameofsafetyorsomethinglikethat Butthis?
Icouldhearthecreakofthestepsasshecamedown,andIbracedmyselfagainstthedoorframe,myfingersbitingintothe wood Thedoorswungopen,andshejustglared
“WhyamInotsurprisedyousomehowwerealreadyhere?”
Whatthehell Ihadtheelementofsurprise Shedidn’tknowI’dbeenwatchinghereverymoveforthelastfewyears Why wouldn’tshebesurprised?
“Youhunguponme.”
Thecornerofherliptwitched Wasshelaughingatme?
“Please.Youdeservedit.Youdruggedme.”
Thiswasbullshit
“Onaccident.Youneededthefuckingsleep,Rylee.”
She ducked and tried to getunder myarm. AtleastIwas faster and could winthat. Igripped her around the waistand carriedherbackintothehall.Theslammingofthedoorshooktheglass.Ipressedherupagainstthewallandgloweredwith everythingIfuckinghad.
Thesecondsheopenedthosepinklips,Iwasagoner WhateverpunishmentIwantedtodishoutwouldwait Islammedmy lipsagainsthersandcutoffwhatevershewasabouttofuckingsay.Hersmartmouthwasgoingtocosther,butrightnow?Itfelt likeI’dwantedhersincethemomentI’dseenher I’dtriedtobethehero,butIwasn’tanyone’shero
Iwasthevillainofeverystory,includinghers.Shejustdidn’tknowityet.
Her body was perfect under me, her legs wrapping around my waist even though she had protested moments ago. My
