Lich's Love: A Dark Fantasy Romance Celeste King Visit to download the full and correct content document: https://ebookmass.com/product/lichs-love-a-dark-fantasy-romance-celeste-king/
More products digital (pdf, epub, mobi) instant download maybe you interests ...
Dark Fae's Toy: A Dark Fantasy Romance Anne Hale & Celeste King
https://ebookmass.com/product/dark-faes-toy-a-dark-fantasyromance-anne-hale-celeste-king/
Creature Comforts: A Dark Fantasy Romance (Demigod Monsters of Protheka Book 1) Celeste King
https://ebookmass.com/product/creature-comforts-a-dark-fantasyromance-demigod-monsters-of-protheka-book-1-celeste-king/
The Demon Prince's Fake Bride: A Fantasy Romance
Celeste King
https://ebookmass.com/product/the-demon-princes-fake-bride-afantasy-romance-celeste-king/
Thawing The Ice King: A Dark Fantasy Romance Anne Hale
https://ebookmass.com/product/thawing-the-ice-king-a-darkfantasy-romance-anne-hale/
Nanny For The Dark Elf King Celeste King https://ebookmass.com/product/nanny-for-the-dark-elf-kingceleste-king/
Orc Brute: A Monster Romance Celeste King https://ebookmass.com/product/orc-brute-a-monster-romanceceleste-king/
A Blade of Fire and Sin: Dark Elves of Protheka Books 1 to 5 Dark Fantasy Box Set Celeste King
https://ebookmass.com/product/a-blade-of-fire-and-sin-dark-elvesof-protheka-books-1-to-5-dark-fantasy-box-set-celeste-king/
The Dark Elf's Secret Baby Celeste King https://ebookmass.com/product/the-dark-elfs-secret-baby-celesteking/
Twins for the Dark Elf Celeste King https://ebookmass.com/product/twins-for-the-dark-elf-celesteking/
LICH’SLOVE CELESTEKING PROTHEKAPUBLISHING Copyright©2024byCelesteKing
Allrightsreserved
Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedinanyformorbyanyelectronicormechanicalmeans,includinginformationstorageandretrievalsystems,withoutwritten permissionfromtheauthor,exceptfortheuseofbriefquotationsinabookreview
Signupformynewsletter
JoinmyFacebookgrouphere!
VANESSA One year earlier.
Thewords,wordsthatIcanneversayoutloud,ripthroughmyheadviolently
This is going to be impossible.
Ihavetostopmyselffromshudderinginfrontofmymother,whoislookingatmewithherusualcriticaleye. Mymothersitsinthemiddleofthesmalllivingroomofourtinyhousewithherhandsfoldedinherlap This is going to be impossible. Iwanttosaythewordsoutloud Iamdyingtosaythewordsoutloud Mymotherspeaksthenasifshereadmymind.Maybeshedid.Ormaybesheseesthepuredesperationonmyface. “Youfailed?”shespits “Youfailedagain?” Ilowermyhead.Mytwoyoungersiblings,whoareintheotherroom,goquiet. Myface grows warm, and Iwrap myarms around mychest. Iamthinenoughthatmyarms could practicallywrap right aroundmybodyifIwasalittlemoreflexible
“Well.”Mymothershiftsinherchair.Shelookssmallerandgrubbierthanusual.“There’snothingtosayaboutit,except thatyouwill havetogobacktothetrainingcentertomorrow andtryagain IamsurethatPashcharwill letyouin,nomatter howpatheticyouhavebeensofar.”
“Yes,Mother”Ikeepmyheadbent,myvoicelowandrespectful ***
Iamhungry.Iamalwayshungry.
AndIamcold,eventhoughNewSolasiswarm,asitalwaysis
IamwalkingfromthehumanvillageinthewestofNewSolas,tothenorthofthecitywherethexaphaniantrainingcenter isbased Iapproachthebaseofthehillthatleadsoutofmyvillage,andIsighasIstareupthelengthofthehill.
“IpraythatImakeit,”Imuttertomyself.TheprayerfeelsemptybutitisonethatIsayeveryday,anyway,nomatterhow emptyoruselessitfeels.
I pray that I make it.
Iamnotonlyprayingtogetupthehill Iamprayingthattodayistheday IamprayingthattodayIgetthroughthexaphaniantrials.Iamprayingthattoday,Igetmywings.
BecauseIamnotquitesurewhatIwilldoifIdon’t
I have beentryingto gainmywings since I was eighteen. It has beena brutal trial tryingto gainmywings, whichhas causedsomanybrokenbones,scars,andburns.
Tryingtogainmywingshasbrokenmeoverandoveragain.
Butmaybetodayistheday.
I pray that I make it
Thewalkupthehillistreacherous.Ihaven’teatensinceyesterdayevening.Thismorning,therewasonlyenoughbreadfor mymotherandmyyoungersister
MybrotherandIallowedthemtoeat.MyfatherwaspassedoutdrunksoI’mnotsureheevennoticedthathehasn’teaten indays.
Mybrotherwillbefine Heworksonthedocks,andthey’lltakepityonhimthere,sohewillprobablyhaveasemi-decent lunch.
ButIwon’t
It’s your own fault. If you had just worked harder, if you had just earned your wings, you would be living a good life right now
AsahumaninNewSolas,tryingtoearnxaphanianwings,tryingtobecomeoneofthosebeings,isoneofthemostsought afterachievementsever.
Gainingyourwingsmeansyoubecomeoneofthexaphans Itmeansunlimitedwealthandrecognition Itmeansyougetpower.
Itmeansyouneverhavetoworryaboutanythingeveragain Itmeansyourfamilyistakencareof Andvery,veryfewhumanshaveeveractuallyaccomplishedthis.
Mosthumanswhotrytogaintheirwingsareirreparablydamagedanddisabledintheprocess,andquitealargepercentage ofhumansdietryingtogaintheirwings Ittakesmehalfthedaytogettothexaphaniantrainingcenter. Iamdizzyandcold,andmythroatispainfullydrywhenIgetthere IamshiveringandbilerisesinmythroatasIapproach thedoors.
I can’t keep doing this Mythoughts are almostfrantic as Islow down Mybreathhitches inmythroatandmystomach, emptyasitis,turnsseveraltimes.
I can’t keep doing this. *** Iarrivehomeclosetomidnight MyfatherisnowheretobeseenwhenIwalkin,andbothmysiblingsareasleep. Butmymotherisawake
Maybe she’ll let me stop today. Maybe today she’ll let me give up. I can probably get a job at the docks, or as a servant That will help us out financially ButIdreadaskingmymotherthis.Idreadaskinghertogivemepermissiontostop. Idreadaskingherforhelp.
ShehaswantedmetogainmywingstogetusoutofpovertysinceIwasachild Thisistheonethingshewantsmetodoforher.AndifIgiveup,I’lldisappointherbeyondmeasure. Buttodaywasanotherdisastrousday TodayIbarelyhadthestrengthtoliftmybodyofftheground Today,thexaphansinchargeofthetraining,includingPashchar,justlaughedcruellyatme. Why won’t she let me work, instead of forcing me to do this futile exercise? This thing that will never result in anything?
Iknowthatatsomepointinheryouth,beforemymothermetmyfather,shealsotriedtogainherwings. Shealsofailedseveraltimes
Shemetmyfatherthen,whoatthetimewasayoung,successfuldockworker. Shethoughtthatmyfatherwouldbringuswealththroughhisconnectionswiththexaphansandthegorgons ButhumansnevergetanywhereonAerasak.EspeciallynotonNewSolas.
Myfatherbecameadrunkveryearlyintheirmarriage,andhisdrinkingbecameworseaftermymothergavebirthtome. Andthenmymotherhadheraccidentafterthebirthofmyyoungestsibling Andherlife,assheputit,wasover.
“Howdiditgo?”Mymother’svoiceissharpandunforgivingwhenshespeakstome Thereisnotahintofkindnessinit Shealreadyknowswhatmyanswerwillbe.Iwouldn’thavecomehomeifithadbeenagoodday.
“Mother”
SheremainscompletelyunmovedasIflingmyselftotheground,kneelingnexttoherchairandsobbing.Mychestrattlesas Icrysilently.
“Please Icannotkeepdoingthis Icannotgoon Please Itisgoingtokillme”
Sheinhalesheavily.WhenIlookupather,herfaceisblank.
“Vanessa,doyoureallythinkthatgivingupisanoption?Doyoureallythinkyouhaveachoice?Lookatus Lookathow we’reliving.Gainingyourwingsistheonlywayforustogetoutofthis.”
“Icangetajob”Isniffandtrytowipemytearsaway “Icanwork Thatwillbringthemoneyin” Mymother’sfacetwistsangrily.
“Youwantmetocontinuelivinginthishovel?Youwantmetocontinuelivingamongthesedegenerates?”Shegesturesat thefrontdoor,pointingtowardsourneighbors “Ideservealifeofwealthandprestige!” Sheraiseshervoice,andIshiverattheangerinit.
“MylifeendedwhenIgavebirthtoyou!Youowemethis!Sodon’tyoudaregiveup!Orjustdon’tcomehome!”
“Okay,”IsayascalmlyasIcanafterIhavestoppedcrying.“Okay.I’lltryagaintomorrow.”
Mymotherbreaksintoapleasedsmileandpatsmyfacesoftlywithherwizenedhand.Itrytoleanintoherhand,butshe pullsawaytooquickly,andInearlyfallover.
“Makemeacupoftea.”Sheshiftsinachair,andIdonotmissthewayshegrimacesinpain.
Inodobedientlyandstandup,eventhoughmyrightlegisachingfromtoday’sexercises.
AsIgoaboutandmakethetea,usinganoldteabagthatIstoredawayformymotherafewweeksago,Isearchmymindfor waystogetthroughthetrials
You heard her. You don’t have a choice. You’ll just have to get through it. AfterIhandmymotherhercupoftea,IheaduptotheatticwhereIsleepeverynight BeforeIcollapseintomybed,Iexaminemynewwounds.Ihaveagashonmyarmthatstoppedbleedingseveralhoursago. Nowitissimplycoveredindriedblood,andanuglyblue-greenbruisehasspreadaroundtheedgesofthegash Ialsohaveseveralcutsandscrapesonmyface.
IsighasIgetintobed.Iwillbatheinthemorning.Fornow,though,Ihavetofigureoutawaytogetthroughthetrials. Fornow,Ihavetofigureoutawaytogainmywingsandbecomeaxaphan Withoutdyingfirst.
CALIAS Present Day.
“Ifuckinghatethesejourneys”IgrowlthewordsaswavescrashintotheboatIamon
ThegorgonwhoismanningthevesselletsoutagrufflaughbutquietsdownwhenIletoutanotherlowgrowl.
IleftIkoththis morningagainstmybetter judgmentfor myusual trip to New Solas. Alotofmybusiness is based inthe xaphaniancity,andafternearlyfifteenyearsofrunningmyfamilybusiness,Iamusedtothejourney
That doesn’t mean you have to like it.
WhatmakesthisjourneyworseisthatIhadbusinesswithIkoth’skinglastnight KingVag’thimonhasbecomeparticularly tetchysincethexaphansdeclaredtheirintentiontoexpandtheirmilitarybaseonNewSolas.
This damn ceasefire isn’t working Why don’t we just go back to war and end things?
MythoughtsareastetchyasKingVag’thimon’stonewaslastnightasIthinkaboutourrelationswiththexaphans.
TheboatdocksatGlebe’sportasthesunissetting,andIgroanloudlyasIliftmyheavybodyfromthesmall,crampedseat andwalktothewaitingcarriage
I hate the xaphans, like all demons do. I hate doing business with them, even though New Solas is one of the most prosperouscitiesinAerasak AndIhatebeingsentonwhatcouldbecalledanespionagemission,toscopeoutwhattheyare doingwiththeirmilitaryendeavors.
Whentheceasefirewasfirstsigned,mostofAerasaksighedwithrelief Thewarhadbeenlong,brutal,andbloody And frankly,theonlyoneswhohadn’tbeenmateriallyorfinanciallyaffectedbyitwerethexaphans.
TheceasefirehelpedtherestofAerasakrecover,andthingshavebeenbetter. Buteveryoneknows thatthexaphans donotmeantoremainpeaceful for long Andthatfactis evenmoreclear now that they’vedecidedtoexpandtheirmilitarybase.
Mydriverpullsawayfromtheportsimmediately,andweheadthroughGlebe’smaincitytotheoutskirts
This is another reason why I hate traveling to New Solas. It is so godsdamned long. TogettoNew Solas bytomorrow,we’ll have to travel over a mountainpass calledThe Ridge, whichconnects the two continents.
“Atleastthisthingisbiggerthanmyseatontheboat,”IsayasIshiftinmyseatinthecarriage. ThedriversaysnothingasweheadupthegravelroadthatleadstoTheRidge Ifallasleep,whichisnotsomethingIallowmyselftodooften,butIamexhausted. WhenIopenmyeyes,thesunisrisingandthecarriageistrundlingintoNewSolas IcanfeelthephysicalchangeontheroadaswecrossfromGlebeintoNewSolas.Theroadbecomessmoothandeven,and thesoundofwheelsgrindingovergravelfallsaway.
Isquintasgoldenlightburstsintomyframeofvision.
I always forget how much the xaphans like their gold, Ithinkto myselfand snortas we roll downa hill and througha beautifulsuburbanneighborhood IcannothelpbutthinkofmyhometowninIkoth,Nyxia.
NyxiaisatinytownatthebaseofoneofIkoth’svolcanoes Itisalush,beautifulvillagethatthrumswithlife WhatIlove aboutNyxia is thatitisn’ta bigcitylike Sarzirochor New Solas. Itis a small, quaintvillage thatthrives economicallyandhasnoneedtolineitsstreetswithgoldtomakeapointthewayNewSolasdoes. This trip will be over soon Just get through it as peacefully as you can and then go back home Mydriver drops me offatone ofNew Solas’s premiumhotels. Idrop mybags offand head straightto the ports. Ifeel refreshedaftersleepinginthecarriage,andIjustwanttogetthisoveranddonewithassoonaspossible “Calias,youbigbastard!”Thevoice,gruffandloud,callsouttometheminuteIstepontotheports.
Iturnwearilyasmyfriendandbusinesspartner,Dhymhi,walksuptome. “Ishouldhaveknownyouwouldbehere,”IsayasIshakehishand.
IamnotunawareofthewaynearlyeveryoneislookingatmeasDhymhiandIspeak Iamtallerandlargerthaneveryone onthisport.IameventallerandlargerthanDhymhi,whoisagorgonandisoversixfeettall.
You shouldn’t have worn the cape, Ithinkexasperatedly Ihavealwaysbeenanimposingfigure,butasIhavegrownolderandallowedmyhairandbeardtogrowout,Ihavebeen likenedtoamonster
DhymhiandItalkaswewalkfromtheportstothemarkets.Inodatseveralofthetraderswhohavestandsatthemarket. Allofthemworkforme.
Theystraightenupandstopchatting,smoking,ordrinking,andfocusonthebusinessinfrontofthem Theyknowthatthere willbeconsequences,horribleconsequences,iftheydonotmeettheirdailytargets.
ImighttrytoavoidNewSolasasmuchaspossible,butthecitybringsingoodbusiness,whichIcannotignore “Didyougetthenewshipmentin?”Dhymhiasksmeaswewalktothepartofthemarketwheretheslavesaresold. “Yes,”ImurmurasIkeepmyeyeononeofmyslavetraders “TheycamefromVesnios,correct?”
“Yes.Somexaphanswantedtobuyit,butconsideringitwasashipmentofdriedpilnaflowers,Ididn’twanttosell itto them.”
“Ofcoursenot”IturnmyattentionbacktoDhymhi “Wedon’tneedthexaphansincontrolofthedrugtrade”Myvoiceis sharp,andDhymhistiffens.
Isoftenmyvoiceaswecontinuetowalk Everyonearoundusgivesusawideberth
“Well, the Unseelie bought it. They won’t sell it,” Dhymhi says after the slight awkwardness between us has passed. “Knowingthem,they’llprobablysnortitthemselves.” Iletoutadrylaugh.“Thatwouldbelikethem.”
Wecometoastopinfrontofanotherslavetrader’stable,onewhodoesnotworkforme.
AndthatiswhenIseeher
Sheisinalargecage,huddleduptoanotherwoman,apregnantwoman.Sheishuman,withthelargest,darkest,mostvivid blueeyesIhaveeverseen
Theworldcomestoahalt.Myworldcomestoahalt.
Becausesuddenly,allthatexistsisher.
She’s filthy, isthefirstcoherentthoughtinmyheadwhenIfinallystarttothinkagain. Becausesheis.Thehumangirlwhohassoquickly,sointensely,caughtmyattention,iscoveredunderneathlayersofgrime. Herbody,painfullythinandbony,iscoveredinbruises
Herhair,whichIamsureisbeautiful,ismattedandalmostgray.
“Iwanther”It’sthefirstthingIsay,interruptingDhymhiwhoisstillspeakingaboutthedriedpilnashipment “What?”heasksme,hisvoiceconfused.
“Her.”Ipointatthehumangirl,whoisn’tlookingatme.“Iwanttobuyher.”
Dhymhilooksathercarefullyandthenturnsdoubtfuleyestome “Youwantahumangirl?Wholookslikethat?”
“She’sstunning”Ibreathethewords Icannottakemyeyesoffher Herbeautyaside,thereisanaurasurroundingher An auraoffrailty.Anaurabeggingmetotakecareofher.“AndIwanther.”
“Well,Isupposethere’snoaccountingfortaste,”Dhymhisaysslowly,thoughtfully Dhymhi,whowouldfuckanythingthatmoves,cockshisheadtotheside.Asifheisconsideringher.
AstreakofuncontrollableangerflaresthroughmeatthethoughtofDhymhiwithher.Withmygirl. Myhumangirl
“Don’teventhinkaboutit,”Isnap,andthevenominmyvoicecarriesallthewaytothetablenexttous,sendingthepatrons ofthetablefleeing
“She’sallyours.”Dhymhiraiseshishandsinsurrender.“Butareyousureyouwantsomeonelikethat?Shelookslikeshe requiresalotofwork Lookather She’slimping”
Webothwatchasthehumangirlmovesaroundthecage.Herrightlegdragsbehindher,andshewinceswithpainwhenshe sitsdowninacornerofthecage.
“Sheneedsme,”Imurmur
“She won’tbe anygood.” Dhymhi knows itis futile totryandtalkme outofit.Outofher.Buthe tries anyway.“You’ll spendmoremoneyfixingherupthanyou’llevergetbackfromher Ifyouwantaplaythingthatbadly,thengetoneofthosenice onesoverthere.”
Dhymhijerkshisheadeagerlytowardsapretty,plumpwomanwhoisstaringsuggestivelyatus.
“Youhavemoney.Youcanspenditonherifyouwantto,”IbarkatDhymhi.“ButIwanther.Sheismine.”
CALIAS heismine.”
Myvoice,whenIspeak,islowandrumbling Buttome,itfeelslikeeverypersoninthemarketcanhearme I turn to look at Dhymhi, and my rage and dangerous obsession must show on my face, because he takes an involuntarystepbackandhiseyeswiden.
AllIcanseeisher EvenwhenI’mturnedawayfromher,allIcanseeareherblueeyes Itakeadeepbreath,andDhymhigivesacautioussmilebeforeheopenshismouthtospeak.
IrealizewhenhedoesspeakthatIhaveneverheardthegorgonsoundafraidbefore “Calias.”Hisvoiceisascautiousasthesmileonhisface.“I’msureyou’llhaveher,butyouneedtocalmdown.You’re lookingalittlecrazyhere”
Inoticethenthatthepeoplearoundusaregivingusspace.WhenIlookdown,Iseethatmyhandsarecurledintofists,and thedeeprumblingthatIamhearingiscomingfromme.
“Ineedher”
Thewordscomeoutofmealmostreluctantly.
Butitisthetruth SheismineandIneedher
Ihaven’tneededanyoneforalongtime,althoughmyhousekeeper,Nesria,woulddisagree.
IlearnedwhenIwasveryyoungthatrelianceisacurseanddependenceisadeathsentence
Ilearnedit,watchingmymotherbecomeanalcohol-fueledsap,allbecauseshereliedonmyfathertobetheperfectpartner sheneeded.
I learned it, after realizing that my mother couldn’t give my father what he needed, and I learned it even more, after watchingmyfatherchaseanywomanwillingtofuckhimjusttogetoutofthehouse.
Ihaven’tneededanyoneforalongtime Untilnow.
“Okay,let’sfindoutwhosheisandhowmuchshecosts.”Dhymhispeaksasreassuringlyashecanandplacesalighthand onmyshoulderbeforehesteersmetothetableclosetothecagethatholdsthehumanwomen.
“Good day!” Axaphanlooks up and greets us cheerily, althoughthere is a darktwinkle inhis eyes thatIdon’tbelieve bodes well “Would youlike to see mywares? We’ve gota lotofprettyyoungthings available, perfectfor doingworkthat yourservantsrefusetodo!MynameisChamuel,bytheway!”
“Howmuchisshe?”Idonotbotherwithintroductions AllIdoispointatthehumanwoman–myhumanwoman ChamuellooksslightlysurprisedatthewomanIhaveselected.
“Her name is Vanessa,butare yousure she is whoyouwant? Iamsure thatanesteemeddemonsuchas yourselfwould wantsomeonemore…able-bodied.”
IletoutalowgrowlatthesarcasminChamuel’svoiceonthewords‘esteemeddemon,’andhiseyesgowidewithfright.
“Calias” Dhymhi places a placatinghand onmylower arm, and Iseemto snap backinto mybody “Your tentacles are out,”Dhymhimurmurs,andIblinkasangrydarknessfadesfrommyvision.
Iveryrarelyletmytentaclesout Iamfearsomeenoughonmyown
But the tentacles, made of shadow and smoke, have extended frommyback. I canfeel them, eventhoughtheyhave no substance,rollingandtwisting.
They are ready Ready to kill
Thethoughtisunbiddenandunwanted,andIforcemybodytoswallowthembeforeChamuelshitshimselffromfear. Dhymhionlyremoveshishandfrommyarmwhenthetentaclesaregone Inthemeantime,Chamuelhasregainedhiscomposure.
“She’llbesoldatanauctioninthreedays'time,”Chamuelinformsme,hisvoicestillcarryingatingeoffear.“Thestarting pricewillbethreehundrednodals.Butshewon’tbegoodformuch.She’sgotabumleg.”
Theurgetoshakethexaphan,topullhisheadfromhisbody,issostrong Imustexudemyrage,becauseDhymhiplacesa firmarmaroundmybroadshouldersandpracticallydragsmeawayfromthetable.
“Youneedtocooldown You’llbuyher You’llgether Butyouneedtocooldown” Dhymhiwalksmebacktothehotel,whichisclosetotheports,andleadsmedirectlytothehotel’sbar.
Heordersadrinkandshovesitatme Iswallowitquickly,andanotherfulldrinkisplacedinmyhandsimmediately “Justkeepdrinkinguntilyourelax,”Dhymhisays,hisvoicesoothingandquiet. Butitdoesn’tmatter.Itdoesn’tmatterwhathedoes.
AllIcanthinkofistheblue-eyedwoman
AndhowI’mgoingtomakehermine.
Wesitinthehoteldrinkinguntilthesunsets Whenthesundoesset,afewslavetraderswalkintothebar
Chamuelisn’tamongthem,butIhearoneofthem,anotherxaphan,talkabouthim. Icannothelpbutlisteninontheconversation
You might learn something about her. About your girl.
“Chamuelhasawholebunchofrejectsfromthetrials.”Thexaphanlaughs.“Idon’tknow whytheseidiotichumanskeep trying Noneofthemarestrongenoughtogettheirwings”
“Theymakegoodentertainment,though.Andthey’resodetermined.Especiallythatonewiththeleg.Shereallydidn’twant togiveup”
“Ah,well,she’llbesomeoneelse’sproblemnow.ButIdon’tthinkanyonewillbuyher.Whowantsaservantwhocannot walkproperly?”
DhymhilungesoffhischairasIstandandthrowmychairback.
Hegrabsmeandpullsmeawayfromthebarandoutoftheroom.
“Okay That’senough,”Dhymhisaysalmostfuriously “Youneedtogotosleep” Hedragsmeupthestairstomyroom,andIfollowhimblindly.Iknowheisright. IcannotsimplygoaroundkillinganyofthexaphanonNewSolas Notwiththepeacetreatyinplace Andespeciallynot nowthatKingVag’thimonisworriedaboutthestateofthepeacetreaty.
“Cooldown,”Dhymhitellsmeinafirmvoiceandshutsthehoteldoorbehindme.
I WAKEuplatethedayaftermyarrivalinNewSolas
Mythoughts whenIwake up go to myhumanwomanimmediately. Butthe auctionis onlytomorrow, and there is actual businessIneedtoattendtountilImakehermine.
AfterIfinishmymorningablutions,IheaddownstairstowhereDhymhiwaitsforme “Areyoufeelingbetter?”Dhymhi’svoiceiscautiousagain. Ishruganddownthecupofkaffothathehandsme
“Ijustwantthe auctionto happenalready,” Igrumble as we walkoutofthe hotel and to the market, where we need to speaktosomeofourtraders.
Ilookaroundforherwhenwereachthemarket,andIgouptoeverycage,butthereisnosightofher. Where the fuck is she? Ithinkfrustratedlytomyself.
IclenchmyjawandallowDhymhitodomostofthetalking Iamquitesurethatmostofthepeoplewhoworkforandwith usbelievethatDhymhiistheactualownerofthebusiness.TheyprobablyjustthinkthatIamthemuscle. Igiveabarkinglaughatthisthought Ispentallmytime,aftermyfatherpassedawaymorethanadecadeago,workingonthebusiness. Hebuiltit,butIgrewitintosomethingenormous,somethingalmostmagnificent. AndtheonlywayIdidthatwasbybeingcompletelyandutterlyruthless.Icouldn’tdoitanyotherway. Imadethedealsthatnoonewantedtomake.Ipartneredwiththepeoplenoonewantedtopartnerwith. AndIensuredthatmyreputationremainedintactbybreakingwhateverbonesneededbreaking Now,IamoneofthewealthiestdemonsinallofIkoth.MywealthrivalseventhatoftheKing’s. AndIknowthatIhaveevengainedthebegrudgingrespectofthexaphan Theystillhateme,buttheyknowthatmymoneyis worthsomething.
Afterwefinishatthemarket,Dhymhi takesmetoabarclosetothebeach.Thebar,likeall barsonNew Solas,isfilled withcreaturesfromalloverAerasak ThereareevenafewUnseeliefaelingeringoutside,sippingcocktails Wefindatable,andDhymhigoesofftoorderforus.WhenIlookupfrommyhands,Iseethatamatrondemonhasslidinto Dhymhi’sseat
Shehasasmileonherfaceandrestshercheekagainstthepalmofherhand,outstretchinghertentaclesthatradiatefromher back.
“Well,itisn’teverydaythatwegetabeautifuldemonlikeyouinhere”Shepurrsthewordsandrevealssharp,whitefangs thatcurveoverherlowerlip.
“I’mnotinterested,”Isaysharply,harshly Thematrondemonsitsbackquickly,asthoughshehasbeenslapped. Hereyeswidenangrilybeforeshegetsupquicklyfromherchairandstompsoff Oneofhertentaclesknocksoverthechair shesatin.
Dhymhireturnswithourdrinkssecondsaftersheleaves.
“Whatdidyoudonow?”heasksme,hisvoicetired ButIdonotanswerhim.AllIcanthinkofisher. Isayhernamethenforthefirsttime AsifIamtellingmyselfasecret,orwillingsomethingtomemory “Vanessa.”
VANESSA Thechainsaregettingheavierbytheminute.Idon’tknowhowlongwe’vebeenstandingouthereasweletthelocalsogle atus Chamuel, the xaphanincharge ofus, said he wanted to parade us around to gainattentionfromvery‘favorable’ buyers.
“Lookatthatlittleskinnyoneoverthere.Shehasniceeyes,don’tyouthink?”Ihearamatrontauntatme.Itrynottoglance, butshecouldbemyfuturemistress “Ha!Eyesbigenoughtopick!Butherbodylookseasytobreak Whatashame”
Shesauntersoffwithhervolvathcompanion.Heroneandonlyintentionwastofrightenme.Idon'tmindthedisinterest.I heardmatronsarethemostviciousdemonsallaround
Ilookdownatmywornoutclothesanddirtiedskin.Theveinsonmyarmsandlegsarestarkinmypaleskin.There’sonly somuchIcandotohidehowsicklyIactuallyam Myjointsarethemostvisiblepartofmymeaslybody Thematron’sright I’llbreakeasily.
“You!Liftupyourfacesotheycanseeyou!”Chamuelbarksatmefromtheothersideoftheline.
Withoutasecondthought,Istandupstraighter thanalog Herollshiseyesatmeandcontinueslookingover attheother ‘products.’Itakeamomenttoreallytakeinmysurroundings,lettingmyselfacceptmynewreality.
Xaphans exchange clothes thatlooklike the gods themselves weaved them There’s anabundance offood, and Ihaven’t seenevenafractionofit.Asexpectedfromaxaphanbase,everything’sbrightanddippedwithgold.ButIcanneverdreamof experiencingsuchluxuries
Anothermatronwalksbywithherherdofmates.Followingthelittlegroupareanotherthreehumanslavescarryingtheir expenses.
Theyglanceatme,eyesfullofsympathyandpity Theynodtheirheadsatmeasifwishingmegoodluck ThenIwatchas theyrunoffbehindtheirmasters,terrifiedofbeingabandoned.
That’s exactly what my future looks like There’s no other way around it
Despitethebloodrushingtomyhead,mybreathhitching,andmypalmsgettingclammy,Itrytokeeptomyself.Ihaveto thinkaboutmyfamilyinsteadofallthebadthingsI’llhavetoendure.Thisisallforthem.
“You’rekeepinguptheline.Moveit,please,”thegirlbehindmemutters.
“Oh,I’msorry.Iwasjustlostinthought.”
“Idon’tcare”
IbitemylowerlipandsheepishlynodwhileImoveuptheline.
“Doyouthinkwe'llstandouthereforlong?”Iaskherhesitantly
Shefrowns.“Idon’tknow.Nottobemean,butIreallydon’twanttotalktoanyonerightnow.Pleaseleavemealone.” “Oh…Yes,I’msorry.”
Iturnandfacefront,feelingworseaboutmyselfthanbefore.Iguessshe’shavingahardertimethanme.Ijustwanttoknow thatI’mnotcompletelyaloneinthis.Ican’tstopthinkingaboutwhat’llhappentomyfamily.
Thiswillcoverthemforawhile,butwhataboutwhenit’sallgone?Whatwillmysiblingseat?Willmyparentsbeableto survivewithoutmethere?Howwilltheylookafterthemselvesastheygetolder?
“WillIeverseethemagain?”Imuttertomyself
Ihearthegirlbehindmesighwithagroanattheend.Ipeekathertoseeifsheheardme.Sherollshereyesbeforehaving herambergazefalldirectlytome.
“You’renotgoingtocryaboutitareyou?”shesaysincredulously “I,uh,what?”
Shenarrowshereyes “Cry Areyougoingtocry?” “Well…Idon'tknow?”
“Lookaroundyou.There’sliterallynothingleftforustodo.Justsuckitupandkeepyourdamnpitypartytoyourself.” “Iwastalkingtomy–”
“Yeah,Iknow Doitquietly Idon’twanttogetintroublebecauseofyou” “Okay…”
IclearmythroatandtrytokeeptomyselfasmuchasIcan Itrytorationalizeherangerasashieldforsomethingdeeper Hereyesarebloodshotwithtearstainsonherdirtyface.Despitenotreallylookingdirectlyather,Inoticedsomebruiseson herarmsandthroat
They’redifferentfrommybruises.Minedon’tlooklikehandprints.
“Alright, we’re goingto be movingrightnow!Ifyoumake the line fall behind, I’mgoingto whip youfive times!Don’t makemerepeatmyself!”Chamuelannouncesashewalksdownthewholeline
Westartdraggingourfeetwherewe’reguided.Itrynottostumbleintothegirlinfront,noticingshe’sbeenhunchedover for a while now I don’t know if she’s tryingto quell the nausea or is alreadyvomiting I’msurprised I haven’t wretched already.
Ifeeltheknotinmythroatandstomach I’mabouttobesold It'salreadyhappeningandsosoon Iheldouthopeforsolong thatI’dearnmywings,buthereIam.JustsoI’mnotawastetothexaphanswhospentalltheirtimetryingtogetmethroughthe trials.
I’m a disappointment all around, after all I’mcaughtupinmythoughtsagainasIbumpintothegirlinfront.
“I-I’msosorry!”Iplead,waitingforanastyresponseliketheothergirl
Sheturnsaround,andIcanseewhyshe’shunchedover–she’s heavily pregnant.Lookingather face,shecan’tbemuch olderthanme.Shecarriesherlargebumpwithonehandwhilecoveringhermouthwiththeother.
She wasn’ttryingto preventherselffromvomiting, butshe’s cryinginsilence. Her face is red and splotchy. Snotdrips fromhernostrils,andIseethesamehandprintbruiseonherthroatastheothergirl’s.
“Areyouokay?”Iwhispertoher
Sheshiftsbetweennoddingandshakingherhead.
“Howfaralongareyou?”Iask,lookingdownatherstomach
“I’mnearing the end of my pregnancy. They just took me frommy home because my husband had debts with a lot of xaphans,”sheexplains.
Myeyeswiden.“I-Isee.”
Thegirlbehindshovesme.“Hurrythefuckup!”
ThepregnantwomanandIrushaheadwiththeline Itrytogiveherasupportinghand,butwhatcanIsaytoher?
“Whatiftheyforcemetolosemybaby?”Shegaspsbeforeshestartstohyperventilate.Ipathershoulderswhilelooking foreveryexcuseinthebook
“No!No,theywon’tdothat.They’llseeitasawaytogetanotherservantforfree.” Iswallowhard,thinkingaboutwhatIjustsaid.
“Youthinkthat?”
Ibitemytonguefirst.“I’msurethat’swhatthey’llthink.Noonecanresistagoodbargain.”
Shestartscalmingdown,evenalittle Bysheerluck,Chamueldoesn’thearustalking However,hesendsaglaremyway, andItrytolowermyhead.Ikeeppattingthepregnantwoman’sbackasshecontrolsherbreathing.Ireallyhopeshedoesn’tgo intolaboruntilaftershe’ssettledinanewhome
If that’s what I can call it.
“What’syourname?”Iask,rubbingcirclesonherback.
“N-Nina Andyours?”
Ismilesadlyather.“Nicetomeetyou,Nina.I’mVanessa.Pleasedon’tstressyourselfsomuch.Yourbabyneedsyoutobe strong”
Shenodswhilepressingherlipstogether.“I’lltry.”
Ilookoveratherfeatures She’sabeautifulwoman Shehasslantedbrowneyeswithfrecklesdustedoverhernose Her lips are thickandcomplimenther highcheekbones.Nottomentionher blackhair looks the leastunkemptoutofall ofus.It makesmewonderwhatherhusbandmightbefeelingaboutherabsencerightnow.
Nina stops sobbing into her hand I hold her hand until we arrive at the place where we’ll stay before the auction Everythingiscalmuntilxaphansstarttoseparateus.
“Wait,no!Vanessa!”Ninashrieks
ItrytoholdontoherforaslongasIcan.
“Please!Please,she'spregnant!”
Theyripher awayfromme,draggingher toadifferentsection.Shescreams andwails,tryingtoreachfor me.Thetears wellup,andIlookaround.Everyone’sslowlydisappearingintodarkrooms.
WhenIturntheotherway,I’mmetwithalargeanddarkfigure.Chamuel. Iquicklylookdown.“M-Master,I…I–”
Hegrabsmebythejaw,pullingmeuptowardhim HegrabsmesoroughlythatIbitemytongueanddrawoutblood “I’msickofhearingyourdamnvoice,”hesaysasheshovesmeaway.
“I-I’msorry–”
Hestepsonmyfoot,andIyelp.Thenhecrouchesdownandgrabsafistfulofmyhair,forcingmetolookdirectlyathim. Hisgoldeneyesaremanicashereststhemonmylips,thenbackupatmytearygaze HetugsmyhairandIcryout.
“Shut up,” he snarls. “Listento me, youpathetic human. Ifyoudon’t get sold quickly, Ialreadyknow how I’ll take my payment”
CALIAS herethefuckisshe?”ImumbleasIshovetherestoftheseannoyancesoutofmyway.
Ididn’texpecttheauctiontobethispackedsinceit’sbarelyopen Iwasn'tthefirstofthebuyershere,butIhadno problembeingthefirsttoenter.TheyallknowthatIamalwaysthefirstineverything.
Icouldn’tstopthinkingaboutthisfortwodays.SinceIfirstlaideyesonher,thebreathtakingbeautysoiledindirtandrags. Itwasaninstantconnectionthatoverwhelmedmyinstincts AlltheytoldmewasthatIneedtohaveher
Thus,hereIamdespitemylackofsleep,eagerlywaitingfortheauctiontostart.IthoughtofbringingDhymhialongwith me,butIdon’tneedanysortofdistractions Itoldhimtowaitelsewhere IhavetomakesureIwill haveher
Isitatthefarrightboxoftheauctionhouse.Itoverlooksthewholehouse,includingthestagedrapedwithblackcurtains. Myeyesfolloweachtorchlightthat’sabouttogiveout Oncetheyalldo,theauctionshallbegin
Theattendeesarealreadyboisterousanddon’tcaretokeeptheir mouthsshut.Xaphans,gorgons,satyrs,fae,anddemons alikearealreadymakingplansfortheirnewpurchase.Obviouslythematronsaregoingtousethemfortheirrepulsivelustful tendencies
“I thinkI want a female this time. Theyare muchmore submissive thanyoulot,” one shamelesslysays out loud to her volvathcompanions
Theysimplynodandgoalongwithherwords,knowingthattheyneedtopleasehereverywhim.
How pathetic
“Do Ireallyhave a need for a human, though? I’mjusthere because theytold me they’re good for breeding,” a xaphan commentstotheircompanion,whojustshrugs.
“Whotoldyouthat?”
“Alisto. Said that he bought a humanfemale to give himheirs that his wife couldn’t give him. He has about sixnow, I think”
Everyfiberofmybeingwritheswithanger,onlyforthereasonthat my prizeisamongthechoices.I’llturnthisplaceinto completeandutterchaosbeforeIletanyoneelsetrytobuyherfromme.
“I’llkilleveryoneinhereifIhaveto,”Icurseundermybreath.
Finally,thetorchontheothersideofthehousegivesout.Everyonefinallyquietsdownandthestagelightsup.Axaphan comesoutfromthecurtains,hidinghisfaceforsomereason Hewalkswithgrandeuracrossthestage,showingoffhisgaudy robesadornedwithtoomanyaccessories.
Hegesturesfortheothertradertodrawthecurtains
She is not there, IgrowlasIgripmyarmrest.
It’s a pregnant female that looks like she’s about to give birth. She struggles to breathe while she holds her swollen stomach.Itlooksliketheybeatherbeforeshowinghertothepublic,whichwillhinderherpurchase.
Shecriesandtremblesallover.Ican'thelpbutrollmyeyes.
Just get it over with and move along to my girl
“Althoughthisonemayalreadyhaveherwomboccupied,”thetraderbegins.“Thinkofitasatwoforonepurchase!Once herchildgrowstoanappropriateage,ofcourse Butyoucanalsobeassuredshe’llbeabletogivebirthtomanymorechildren youmaywant.”
Murmurseruptacrosstheauctionhouse.Someareshakingtheirheadsinnegation,butothersarethoroughlyconsideringit. Afewofthemstartshoutingoffers,andthewomanonstagepalesasthenumbersgethigherandhigher
“Onenodal!”axaphanshouts.
“Fivenodals!”anotheronecounters
Theamountofmoneyofferedforapregnantwomancomesasasurprise.Xaphansaretooarrogantfortheirowngoodto
notwantausedproduct.Demonsandgargoyleswouldn’tcareunlessthegoodsdon’tservetheirneeds.
“Sold!Tothefellowxaphanforfivenodals!”
Thexaphaninquestioncheersandjustscoopsupthewomanfromthestage,despitehercriesandpleas Hewastesnotime inthrowinghismoneytothesellerbeforetakingoffoutoftheauctionhouse.
The next one better be mine already Thecurtainsclosetobringthenextproductout.ItapmyfootinanticipationandIholdmybreathasthecurtainsdrawopen onceagain MyagonizingwaitforthesetwodaysisfinallyworthwhileasIfeastuponmyprize TheyhavehertiedbythewristsandadornedinthesameawfulragsIsawherin.Thepoorcreaturetremblesatthesightof allthebeastspresent.Herlargeeyeslookaround,notdaringtocry.
However,tomygreatestdismay,Inoticetheweltsalloverherdelicateskin Handprintsarescatteredoverherfrailbody She didn’t have those before.Igrowl.
Mypetglances atthe trader, who’s staringather for a little too long She quicklylowers her gaze and holds her hands tightly.Thetradersmirksbeforestartingtheoffers.
“Althoughthisfemalelooksweakand,quitefrankly,pathetic,Icanassureyouthatshe’dbeofgreatuse Hipswideenough tobreed,appearanceworthlookingat,andhardworkingaswell.Shetriedtogainherwingsthrougharduoustraining,soyou knowshecanbeputtowork!”Hisexplanationmakesmeirate,butIbitemytongueandyelloutmyoffer.
“Fivenodals,”Isayinaboomingvoice “Tennodals!”Iheardownbelowfromavolvath.
Theseller’seyeswidenashechuckles “Tennodalsalready?Thiswillbequiteinteresting!” Ifrown.“Twentynodals!”
Ishoutovereveryoneelse’svoices,makingsuretheirstupidoffersaren’theardatall.Theotherdemonstryingtobuyher ignoremyglareandcontinuetotrytodefyme.
“Fiftynodals!”
Theaudiencestirsattheamountofmoneyheoffers Whothefuckisthisdemon?IwassureI’dbetheonlyonetobeable toaffordsuchhighbids.
Amatronistheonetoquestionthedemon’slivelihood
“Youarequiteenergeticforthathumanfemale,”thematronretorts,exudingjealousy.
The demon smirks. “Humans with her appearance are rare in the sex trade. She’ll bring me riches with just a few customers.”
ThebeastsaroundchucklewhileI’mneartheedgeofmadness.
“Ican’twaittotryheroutmyself,”hesaysashelickshislips
Hiseyesareindeliriumasheeatsupmywoman’sappearance.Shegasps,andIseeclearasdaythemomenthertearsstart tofall
“Savethosedelicioustears!IwanttoenjoyeverypartofyouonceIfattenyouup.Can’twaittoseehowprettyyoulook!” hetauntsher.
She tries to suppress a sob, butit’s heard loud and clear Itonlyexcites the demons further Hearinghimlaughfromhis lewdremarksnumbsallofmysenses.IcanonlyfeelaragingfireburstinsideasI’mblindedbyfury.
Ijumpdownfromtheboxseat,landingrightinfrontofhim Hefinallyturnsaroundtolookatme Hiscockinessquickly fadesonceherecognizeswhoIam.Withoutlettinghimsayanotherword,Iriphisbodyapart.
Screams, gasps, and cries resound throughout I don't even have to bellow at anyone to get the fuck out of my way Everyoneknowsthisiswhat’llhappentothem.
Ishootmyglareattheseller.“Ahundrednodals,”Isayasmyfinaloffer.
Heglancesbetweenmeandthedeadvolvath Giventhathe’saxaphan,hedoesn’tcarethatmuchandcontinuesthebid He waitsforanotherbeasttooffer,butnoonedarestospeakup.
“Ahundredno–”
Ithrowthenoteathim,detailingwheretocollectmymoney.AllIwantistogetthefuckoutofherealready.Idon’tsparea secondglanceatthetraderandfocusmygazeonmyprize
Itoweroverher,hearingthesmall gaspfromherlips.I’mmesmerizedwithher,neverhavingseenanythingsobeautiful. Underallthefilthhidesagiftfromthegods,allmadefor me.
Thebruisesaremorevisiblethisclose Ihavetoassumetheslavetraderhadsomethingtodowithit I’llmakehimpayfor itlater.Rightnow,allthatmattersisthewomaninfrontofme.
She doesn’t blinkbut keeps her stare directlyinto mine I canget swallowed up into her eyes just as if theywere the unforgivingocean.Unlikethedarknessthatlurksbeneaththosewaters,herscarrytheendlesshorizonthatsymbolizesahopeful journey.
“Uh,YourExcellency,areyouchangingyourmindabout–”
“Shutyourfilthymouth,”Isnarlattheseller.
Myprizedpossessionflinchesatmyloudvoice,makingmethinktwiceaboutreprimandingthewholedamnroom. “I’mleaving,”Isay.
Ipickherup,carefulnottohurther,andstormoutoftheplace Asmuchasshetremblesundermyhold,sheclutchesher smallhandsonmyforearms.Aninexplicablefeelingbrewswithinme,butIpayitnomind.
“Doyouknowwhatyou’redoing?”Dhymhiasks,materializingoutofnowhere “IthoughtItoldyoutowaitoutside,fool.”
“Yes, and you already killed a demon in less than an hour in there,” he reprimands Then he looks down at my arms “Again,areyousureyouknowwhatyou’re–”
“She’smine.Shealwayshasbeen.”
VANESSA ’mbeingledawaybythishulkingvolvathdemon,whosenameIcaughtasCalias.Who’dhavethoughtsuchabrutalcreature asmindlessashimwouldhavesomethingsotrivialasaname?
HadInotknown,I’dhavethoughtothersmayhavesimplyreferredtohimasabeast,amonsterwhohasnoregardfor whohe kills.Fromthe looks oneveryone’s faces,he means business,business ofwhichIhave nointentionofgettinginthe wayof
Mybodyisriddledwithasickeningpain,thoughsomehowI’mstillwalkingonmyowntwofeet.Maybeit’soutoffearof what’llhappentomeifIdonotobeyCalias’everywhim
Heturnstometooquicklyformyliking.Itenseup,myfingernailsdiggingintothepalmsofmyhandsasIclenchmyfists. Theairisseizedfrommylungs,notasinglebreathdaringtoescapemymouthasIpeerupintothedarkandtreacherouseyes ofmynewmaster.
“DidChamuelhurtyou?”heasks.
His questioncatches me off guard The confusioncouples withfear, causingmylips to openand close repeatedlyas I searchforananswer.Hegesturestomylegs,andIfigurehemustbereferringtomylimp.
“No,”Iblurt,myvoicebreakingasIspeak “It It’sjustalimp”
Henodsslowly,thenturnsandgesturesformetocontinuefollowinghim.Idon’tknowwhattothinkofwhatjusthappened. Is he concerned? Or maybe he’s just figuring out my weaknesses Iglancebackatthedemonbehindmewhowantedmeinhissextrade.Hiscorpseisnowariddledmessofbloodandguts asfolksgatheraroundhiminawe.
Isureashelldonotwanttoenduplikehim AsIwonderifmynewownerhasbetterintentionsthantheotherone,Iremind myselfthathe’sademon.Ishouldn’texpectanythinggoodtocomemyway.
Inoticethelooksofsympathywrittenacrosseveryone’sfacesastheyturnmyway,wonderingiftheyfeelsorrow formy fate.
ButIpayfornotlookingwhereI’mgoing.IbumphardintoCalias,notseeingthathehasstoppedagain.Ifalltotheground butheremainsinplace,mysmallframenomoretohimthanamereinsect.
“Sorry!”Iquiver.
He reaches toward me Iburymyhead inmyhands, grippingitas ifit’s mylastfew seconds ofhavingit Surprisingly though,Caliassimplyliftsmetomyfeet,removinghishandsthereafter.
Ilookupathim,hisraisedeyebrow displayingcuriosityandwonderashescansme Icannottellifhebearspityformy sakebutIwouldn’tdarebetonit.
All ittookfor thismantosnapwassomeoneelsevoicingtheir intentionswithme,andthatwasbeforeIevenfell under Calias’officialownership.
Worse yet, the slaver was a demon. I’ma humanand a frail one at that. I keep myeyes facingdownas I tread behind Calias,tryingtocontrolmyerraticbreathing
He leads me to a carriage notfar fromthe auctionhouse. Openingthe door, he turns around to me, extendinghis hand. I cannotmusterthestrengthtolookintohiseyes
“Comeon,it’swarmerinthecarriage.”
Iblindlyraisemyhandandtakehis.Tomysurprise,they’rewarmandcomfortinginthestrangestofways.OnlythendoI seemtoregisterhismanners
For a cold-blooded murderer, he’s quite polite.
Istepintothecarriage’sinterior,takingaseatinthecorneronfineleathercushioning Iamriddledwithsomuchpainand stressthattheseatsthemselvesareenoughtoinduceavaguesenseofrelaxationinmybody.
Outside,IhearCalias’gruff,deepvoicecallouttothedriver.
“Makewayfortheport,we’reheadingbacktoIkothfirst.”
He then climbs in, his massive frame causing the carriage to shake as he climbs towards his seat across from me I immediatelyshuffletotheothersidesothatIsitdiagonallyfromhim.
Ilookoutthewindow Theskiesareasdesolateasever Ican’ttellifthey’retryingtomockmeformyultimatefate,orif they’rejustasimplereminderofwhatmypitifulexistenceislike,thatI’vealwaysbeendestinedforahopelesswayofliving.
“HaveyoueverbeentoIkoth?”Caliasasks Idonotanswer.
“We’llbestoppingthereforsomerest,ourfinaldestinationliesinNyxia.It’salongjourney.” EverywhereI’vegonewithinthepastyear hasseemedlikemyfinal destination,yetsomehow lifedeemeditfair tokeep mealivethroughitall.Onlythegodsknowwhatliesinwaitformenext.
Eveninthe warmthof the carriage, mybodycontinues shakingfromfear Calias offers me a blanket, but I can’t bring myselftothankhim.
I’msurprisedI’mstillaliveatthispoint Witheachpassingminute,IprayIdonotdosomethingwrong
The carriage moves ata steadypace alongthe roads as we exitthe cityofNew Solas. Thankfully, Calias does notsay much.Inodorshakemyheadtohisoccasionalquestions,thoughI’mnotevensureofwhathe’sasking.
MymindisplaguedwiththewordsofmymotherandthexaphansIhadgrownuparound “Thedemonsarebrutes,”mymotherwouldalwayssay.
“They’llstopatnothingtogetwhattheywant,evenifitmeanstakingalife,”thexaphanssaid They certainly were not wrong.
Faintnessgraduallycomesoverme.IdarenotlookatCalias.Iamfrozeninfear,feelinglikeapieceofmeattossedintoa smallcagewithaviciouspredator.
Doeshenotknowthefearademonlikehimbringstoawomanlikeme?ThelastthingIrememberbeforepassingoutisthe sightofaportinthedistance
WhenIwakeup,Iammetwiththeshoutingandyellingofdrunkardscominginthroughanopenwindow.IsitupinabedI donotrecognize,blinkinguntiltherestoftheroombecomescleartome
IscreamwhenIseeCaliassittingattheendofthebed.Hisfacecringes.Iimmediatelythrowmyhandsovermymouth. How long was he sitting there? Did he do anything to me while I was unconscious? Where the hell am I?
Hisfacereturnstonormal,yetstillIdonotmove,fearingittobesomekindoftrick.
“Ididnotmeantostartleyou.YouwerestillasleepbythetimeIwokeupinmyownroomnexttothisone.Idecidednotto wakeyou,youseemedlikeyouneededtherest”
Ashetalks,Ianticipatehimlashingoutandattackingme.Afterall,ifweareinIkoththenwearedeepindemonterritory. Noonewouldcarewhathedidtomehere Tomysurprisethough,hestandsandmakeswayforthedoors
“Joinmeoutsideonceyouareready.Wewillhavesomethingtoeat,thenwe’llhittheroadandheadforNyxia.”
Asheleaves,Irubmyhandovermyhead.Therepersistsadull painasifmyheadwasaspongethathadsoakeduptoo muchinformationlikewater
Ifindithardtobelievethismanwhohadn’tlaidamalicioushandonmeyetwasthesamepersonwhotooktheslaver’s lifelastnight
Despitethehungercoursingthroughmybody,Icanstomachnomorethanabiteortwoofbreakfast.Myeyesdartbetween theknivesonthetablethathecouldusetoslitmythroatandtheglasseshecansmashtoslashmygutsacrossthefloor
ItrytoeatsomemorebutIfeelmythroatclosingup.MystomachtwistsinagonytothepointwhereIthinkI’llthrowupifI evenbreathethewrongway.
Calias somehow remains patientthroughitall as he guides me backto the carriage, the same one fromthe nightbefore Again,heopensthedoorformeandIsitasfarfromhimasIcan.
I’veneverspentsomuchtimewithonepersonyetsimultaneouslyavoidedthemineveryconceivableway
“Icannotwaitforyoutoseethemansion,”hemarvels,beaminglikeaproudfatherashestrokeshischin.“Ithinkyou’ll findtheaccommodationmorethanfitting”
Mymindpondersoverwhathehasinstoreformeaswebeginthefinallegofthejourney.
Woulditbesometypeofpithe’llthrowmein?Orperhapsacellwhereheputsfoodjustbarelyoutofreachthroughthe bars?
ButanythingandeverythingIthinkofisimmediatelyforgottenwhenhismansioncomesintoview.
ItboaststwostorieswithawideframethatIassumefitatleastfourroomsoneachfloor Oneachcorneroftheroofisa carvingofablackpitterbird,theirbeaksprotrudingoutlikethetipofasword.
It’s a mixofgrayand black, the colors oftenmeetingincontrastingfashiononthe windows, roof, and the heavydouble doorswithitsmagnificentframe.
Atthatmoment,Ididnotknowwhattothinkanymore,butonethingisforsure.Mylifeisabouttogounderonehellofa
CALIAS ThehumanVanessamadethemistakeofnoteatingmuchthismorningatourbreakfast.Iwonderwhythatwas,especially consideringhercurrentphysicalcondition
NeverbeforehaveIseenahumansofrailandweak.Icouldsendhertothenextcontinentbysimplyblowingatherif Iwantedto.
Perhaps she’s still afraid, Ithinktomyselfasthecarriagetreadsdowntheroadtomymansion I may just have to carry her inside, she can barely walk as is.
Duringthefinalfewminutesofourjourney,Itracebackoverthecourseofthepreviousnight Vanessapassedoutwhilewe werestillinNewSolas.
Ihadtocarryherintoourhotelforthenight Idecideditbesttogiveheraroomofherown,andforawhile,Iwatchedher sleep.
Eveninher currentstate,Icanseethebeautyinher.ThereissomethingaboutVanessathatintriguesme,thoughIamnot quiteyetsurewhatitis Whateverthecase,I’mcertaintheanswerswillcometomesoon
Themansioncomesintoview,thesightofwhichspreadsasmileonmyface.Itfeelsgreattobehome,andwelloverdueis thejoythatcomesoverme
I admire mypropertyas the carriage comes to a stop. I step out and breathe inthe cleanair, absent of anypoisonthat plaguesthecity Morethananything,I’mpleasedtobebackwithsomeonetocallmyown
I wonder what she thinks of it.
YetIdonothavetothinkforlong.Iturnaroundtoseehermouthgapinginshockasshecastsastudiouseyeovermyhome. Icannothelp butlaughather Idon’tknow whatelse she expected, havingalreadymentioned the mansionto her onour journey.Perhapsshemayhavethoughtthatwewereonourwaytosometypeofprisonforher.
Inanycase,itseemsasthoughshelikesit It’scertainlyafarcryfromanythingshemusthaveexperiencedbefore,knowing howthehumansaretreatedbytheself-proclaimedsaviorsknownasxaphans.
Ireachoutahand,andsheimmediatelyjumpsbackintothecornerofthecarriageinterior.
Foramoment,Ihesitateandstepback.Icanseehersneakingglimpsesofmefromthecornerofhereye,guessingthatshe mustbeafraidtolookatmehead-on.Icannotblameherforthat,manyfindmeoverlyimposing,butithasitsperks.
Shestepsout,butherkneesquiverandbucklebeneathherthesecondshetouchestheground Icatchherjustintimeandlet herintomyarms.
Herskinissoftinsomepartsandroughinothers,nodoubtaproductofherformerenvironments IpromisemyselfthatI’ll overseeachangeinherphysicalappearance,seeingtoitthatshewillbeahealthierwomansoonerratherthanlater.
Yet,despitetheglimpsesofbeautyshe’sallowingmetoexperience,herbodyisrigid,likeacoldpieceofmeat.It’sasif I’mholdingnothingbutbones,thoughshemayaswellbethatwhenIlookatherframe.
“You should have eaten more at our morning meal.” I chuckle light-heartedly. “But worry not, your hunger will be remedied Fornow,you’llhaveabathandgetcleanedup”
Shecurlsup,allIseeofVanessaisthetopofherhead.Thedriverwhipshisreinsbehindme,spurringthecarriageaway frommyhome
ImayhavearrivedatmybelovedabodebutIstillhavealotofworktodo.IcarryVanessatothewashrooms,plantingher inanemptytub.
There,Iremoveherclothesbutshethrowsherarmsoverherbodyassoonastheragsslipoffherskeletalframe “Itmightbeabithottostartwith,butI’llgetthetemperaturecomfortableforyou.”
Iemptyabottleofherbal oilsintothetubaswell asasmall amountofsoap Ithenturnonthefaucets,causingarushof crystal-clearwatertopour.
Vanessawinceswhenthewatertouchesher.Imixtheoils,soap,andwatertogetherforafewmomentsbeforelookingupat hercoveredface.
“Isthatokay?”Iask
Shenodswithherheadburiedinthefoldsofherarms.TherisingwatercomestothetopsofhershouldersbeforeIturnit off
Takingholdofasponge,Idouseitinthewaterandbringittoherbareback.Sheflinches,soItakeitslowinthecleaning ofherbody Thewaterdoesn’ttakelongtoturnbrownfromthedirt
Vanessaismerelyafractionofthesizeofthetubthatwasdesignedtobatheademonlikeme.
Seeinghow closedoffsheis,Ieventuallyofferherthespongetocleanthepartsshemaynotyetbecomfortableshowing me
Asshescrubsherself,Itakehermattedhairinmyhands,rubbingitgentlywiththesoap.Slowlybutsurely,theknotscome undone
Her hair unravels,fallingdownintothewater whereIthengiveitarinsethrough.Her hair entwines aroundmyfingers, andforthefirsttime,Igettoappreciatejusthowbeautifulitis
Irinse her offand grab the smallestrobe Icanfind,throwingitaround her shoulders. Igive her space as she tightens it aroundherself,admiringherasshefluffsoutherhair.
Theblondestrandsfalldowninnaturalcurlsoverthesidesofhergauntface Thenithappens,shelooksatmedirectly,her deepblueeyescausingmymouthtoparteversoslightly.
IcannothelpbutfeelIhavediscoveredajewelinthedirtwithher Withenoughcleaningandfeeding,Iwonderwhatshe canbecome.
“Followme,”Isaywithasmile.
Shenods,optingtostayquiet.Stillthough,hermereacknowledgmentofmeisenoughfornow.
Itakehertothedressingrooms.Overtheyears,Iaddedmanygarmentsofwomen’sclothingtomycollectioninthehopes ofonedaygiftingthemtosomeoneIdeemedworthy
Afterallthistime,thedayhadcome.Firstlythough,Ibrushherhair.Iknowtotakeiteasywithher,givenherfear.IfIhurt her,evenaccidentally,it’daccomplishnothingbutpushherawayfromme
Together todowhatIwanther todo,Ineedtoshow Vanessathatsheis inasafeenvironmentwithanaccommodating host.
Ihearonlyherbreathingandthebeatingofherheartasitpoundsinherchest.It’sasifsheisasmallpieceofpreythatI rescuedfromapredator.
Ineedtoremembersheisalonehere,thrustintoanunfamiliarsettingafterlikelyknowingonlypainandmisery Ihopethat bymyintervention,shesoonputsheroldlifebehindher.
Ipresenttohermyfirstgift,afinesetofclothingmadefromthesmoothestsilkinallofAerasak It’slightpinkincolorand ismadetofitthebodycomfortably.
Shetakesituncertainlyandslipsintothesmall-sizedfitwithoutissue.Italmostbreaksmyhearttoseeitisslightlytoobig forher
“Worrynot,”Isaytoher.“You’llgrowintoit.Comeonthen,let’shavesomethingtoeat.”
Bytheendofmealtime,Ihavegrownusedtoherconstantflinching,noticingthatithappensifImovetooquickly Islow myselfdownonpurposeasIshowhertoherprivatequarters.
Igesture for Vanessa to enter, followingher into the magnificentguestroomfitwitha large closetand a double bed A windowoverlooksthesettlementofNyxia.
Asetofcurtainssitstiedupontheoverheadframesofherbed.Thereareleatherseatsbothattheendofthebedandatthe othersideoftheroom,whereshehasadeskwithquillsandparchmentpaper
Igrababookfromanearbybookshelfandofferittoher.
“I’mnotsurewhatkindofstoriesyoulike,butperhapsyouknowthisone It’swellknownalloverAerasak,”Isay “I…I’mnotsurewhattosay.”
“Athankyouwouldsuffice,”Iquip
“Thankyoubut…Calias,Icannotread,norcanIwrite.”
“Really?”Iaskinsurprise.
She turns awayandsays nomore,perhaps expectingme toridicule her for her lackofcomprehensionskills It’s time to bestowuponheranothersurprise.
“Takeaseatanywhereyou’dlike I’llreadyouachapter”
SheignoresmeforthemostpartwhileIread,onlylookingatmeasthechaptercomestoanend.Iclosethebookwitha loudthud,causinghertojump.
“Myohmy,youareoneskittishgirl.”
V
ANESSA APPEARS tohavegraduallyloosenedupovertheweekandahalfthatshe’sbeenhere.Sheisstillfarfromopen,butno longerdoesshecurlupincornersorturnawayfrommewhenIspeaktoher
It’sastart.I’vemadeapointofreadingtohereverynightbeforebed,figuringthatjustbecauseshecannotread,itdoesn’t meansheshouldn’tgettoexperiencethejoyofagoodbook
Onenight,Iventureintoherquarters,seeingthebooklyingbesidehernearthewindowasshelooksoutofit.
IwalkpastthevarioussetsofclothesandjewelryIhavegiftedtoherduringherstay Ireachforthenovel,startlingherat thesametimeassheyelps.
“Sorry,”sheblurts.“I…Ididn’tseeyou.”
Ismileather andtakemyseat As Iread,Ispother lookingover atme fromthecorner ofmyeye Her headis tiltedin adorablecuriosity.
Idonotmakeabigdealoutofit,speakingthewordsofthenovelaloudwithanexpressivevoice Ofthetwoofus,itseemslikeIhavebeentheonetosurpriseher,buttonight,wefindourselvesontheoppositesideofthe spectrum
Ilookup to see notonlydirecteye contactbut, for the firsttime, a smile onher face. It’s the perfectcomplementto her face,bringingoutthoseamazingeyesofhersthatIcouldlookintoforhours.
“Vanessa ”Iwhisper I’msoentrenchedinawethatIcan’tfindanymorewords
“Calias…Ijustwanttosaythankyouforyourhospitality,”shesays.Shespeaksquietly,butthelookonherfaceisenough totellmeshe’sgenuine “Idon’twanttoblowitoutofproportion,butI’m I’mhappythatI’mbeinglookedafterhere That’s allIhavetosay.”
IswearIhearhergiggle.
“Thankyou,”shesaysagain. “You’remorethanwelcome.”
VANESSA Isitinfrontofmyvanity,brushingmyhair.BynomeansamIaconfidentperson,butIneverknewIworehairthisbeautiful allalong
“It’samazing,”Iwhisper,threadingmyfingersthroughthestrands.
Icannotfathomthefactithadcomelooseatthehandsofakiller.Ithinkaboutthatamongsteverythingelsethat’sunfolded sinceIarrivedatCalias’mansion
Fromhavinga roomto call myownto eatingproper meals, and evena demonreadingto me… It’s beensurprise after surprise,andnothingbutpleasantness
It’strulythelastplaceIexpectedafter beingboughtatanauction.Upthereonthatstage,Ifeltlikeatoyfor all tosee.I thoughtthatsomeonewouldbuymeandusemeuntilIwasnolongerfun ButIcouldn’thavebeenmorewrong
Irubmyhandsthroughmysofthairbeforeretreatingtothewindow.I’dseennothingbutbigcitiesmywholelife,soliving insuchquietterritoryisstillsomethingI’mgettingusedto.
It’sonlyashamethatIcannotgoandexplore,forCaliashasforbiddenmefromleavingthebuilding “Icanhardlycomplainthough,”Isaytomyself.
Iturnaroundtomarvelatmyquarters ThisroomaloneisenoughtoremindmethatIshouldnotfeelbadaboutnotbeing abletoventureoutside.
Betteryet,Iamatlibertytoexplorethemansion,somethingI’vealreadydonemanytimes Icannothelpbutchuckleindisbelief.ThisplaceiseverythingI’veeverwantedinahome.
Here,Ihavefood,abath,properclothing,andabedallformyself.Partofmestillfeelslikethisisalladream,thatatany moment,I’llwakeupandbebackinthehorridarmsofChamuel
Witheverypassingdaythough, Iamslowlyacceptingthatthis is mynew reality. Ithinkonce againofthe auctionstand beforemymindstraysevenfurtherbackinhistory,backtothetimeIhadtolookaftermyfamily “WhendidIseethemlast?”Iaskasifoneofthemisheretoanswerme.“Icannotremember…”
Rememberingtheconditionswehadgrownupin,awaveofguiltwashesovermebecauseofmysurroundings.Thisroom aloneholdsmoreluxuriesthananyofthemwilllikelyeverknow.
IfIcouldprovideforthemwithoutslavingmyselfaway,Iwould,yetthemoreIthinkofthem,themoreobviousitbecomes thatIdonotmissthem
Theymayhavebeenblood,andperhapsIwasobligatedtodomypartandlookafterthemforacertainperiodofmylife… ButIsawnothinginreturn,notevenawordofthanksfrommymother “Ionlyhopemysiblingscanlookafterthemselves.”
Iglanceattheclock.AllthoughtsofmyfamilydissipatewhenIseethetimehascometomeetNesriafortea.
Caliashadintroducedmetothehousemaidduringmyfirstweekhere,ademonlikehim.Immediately,Ifeltaconnectionto her,perhapsitwashermaternalinstincts.
IfCaliashadlearnedhismannersfromanyone,itwascertainlythatwoman Shemadeforgoodcompanywheneverhewas outonhisvariouserrands.
Inotice the lackofpaininmylegas Iwalk Istill have a limp, but no longer do Iwince inagonyas Imake myway betweenplaces.
Iarriveinthediningroom,eagertomeetmyfriend.
“Nesria!”Icallout “Nesria,areyouhere?”
Thedoortothekitchenswingsopen,outwardssteppingthehousemaid.Shedonsasimplegowndesignedforcomfortand maneuverability,whichIimaginecomesinhandyforawomanwithsomanychores
Partofmefeelsbadforthepooroldlady,butherperformanceistheoppositeofwhatIexpectfromsomeoneherage.She
moveswithaskiptoherstepandcarriesoutherdutiesexcellentlyfromwhatI’veseen.
“Vanessa!”sheexclaimswithasoftsmile.“Comewithme,I’mjustbakingusafewtreats.”Hersoft,wrinkled,palewhite handstakemine,andsheleadsmetothekitchen
It’saspristineandcleanasIexpectittobe,giventhatNesriatendstoiteveryday.Itakeaseatasshereturnsherattention tokneadingapileofdough
“Whatareyoumaking?”Iask.
“GoddessHearts,”shesays “It’sapastryIsawonedayatalittlebakeryinSarziroch Ibelieveitwasahumanbakerwho sold themoriginally, butshe disappeared one dayand theyhaven’tbeenas good since, so Idecided to trymyownhand at them.”
“Ahumanbaker?Humanscangetregularjobshere?”
“Indeedtheycan,” she replies gentlywitha hintofamusement.Her smile suddenlydrops.“Ah,forgive me,Ishouldnot laughatthat Youwouldn’thaveknownbetterbecauseof ” Iknowshe’sreferringtomytimeunderthetreatmentofChamuel.
“Don’tworry,”Itellher,wavingadismissivehand “Iknowyoumeannoharm Letmelendahand” Shecrossesherbrowsandshakesherhead.
“Comeonnow,”shesays.“Youknowthehouserules,Vanessa.Youarenotallowedtodoanyhouseworkwhatsoever.” “Noteventhis?”
Ipickupabagofflourandstowitawayinacupboard.Shegentlyslapsmyhandandushersmeaway.
“Don’tbesilly!”shescolds Icantellsheisrestrainingasmile
“I’monlyjoking.”Ilaugh.“ButIsupposeIcan’tcomplainaboutnotbeingallowedtowork.Ijustseeyouworkingsohard forthishome,andwanttohelpoutwhereIcan.”
“Your companyis helpenough,” she says.“Maybe one day, we canbake this together, butIdon’tmake the rules around here.”
NesrialetsmewatchasshepreparestheGoddessHearts Shethenbrewssometeabeforewereturntothediningroom, takingaseatacrossfromoneanother.
“Soyou’vebeenhereforabouttwoweeks,isthatrightmydear?”sheasks “Yes,justabout.”
“Andhowareyousettlingin?”
“Betterthanexpected.It’sbeenquitethesurprisecominghere.”
“Iimagineit’sfardifferentfromwhatyoumayhavethoughtwhenyouwereontheauctionstand.That’swhereyouwere… purchasedbyCalias,right?”
“Indeed,thoughtobehonest,it’shardtothinkofitasbeingpurchased.” “Oh?”shequips,leaningforwardonherelbows “Iknowitsoundsalittlesilly,butIcan’thelpbutfeelIwassaved.Caliashasbeengoodtomesincehebroughtmehere.” Nesrianodsinunderstandingbeforetakingasipofrirzedtea.
“Hehasbeenmorerelaxedafteryourarrival,”sheremarks “Whichisagoodthing,ofcourse Yousee,he’sbeenwrapped upinanot-so-greatwayforafewyearsnow,somaybethiscouldbethestartofaturnaroundforhim.” “Afewyears?You’veknownhimforalongtime” Nesriasmiles.
“I’vebeenlookingafterCaliassincehewasalittleboy” “Wow,”Iwhisper.“Well,youtaughthimhismannersperfectly,Isaythatfromanoutsider’sperspective.” “WhythankyouVanessa butyouare no outsider. To me, youare another residentofthis fine mansion, and youwill be treatedassuch”
Ismileanddrinkmytea,enjoyingthemanyGoddessHeartsforashortwhile. “Shallwegotothelibrary?”Nesriaasks “I’dlovethat.”
“Bytheway,Inoticedyourlimpisdoingbettercomparedtowhenyoufirstcame” “It’sbecauseofallthefoodandbathsyouguysaregivingme,”Ireplyjoyfully. Linkingarms,wemakeourwaytothelibrary.Caliasgrantsmeaccesshere,andforthat,Ican’tbegratefulenough. Startinglastweek,hehadbegunteachingmehowtoread IcomeherewheneverIgetthechance,whetherit’swithNesria, Calias,orwithoutthem.
EventhoughIcanbarelyread,seeingthelettersmakesmesoexcited,knowingonedayI’llbeabletoreaditall Istepintothelibrary,wherebookshelvesuponbookshelveslinethevastspace,eachrowfilledtothebrimwithbooksof allgenres.
“Youmentionedtomebeforethatyoucan’tread,haveyoueverthoughtaboutlearning?”Nesriaasks. “Caliashasbeenteachingme,”Itellhereagerly.
“Really?”Shechuckles. “Letmeshowyou.”
Igrabthenearestbookfromtheclosestshelf,flickingtoarandompage “The…Thehiss…Okay,Idon’tknowthatword,butit’saboutNyxia.” Nesriapeersovermyshoulder “Ah,abookonthehistoryofNyxia.”
“IthoughtI’ddobetter,”Isayshyly “Fretnot,mydear.YoustillknewmorethanyoudidlastweekI’msure.Progressisprogress,youcanonlyevergetbetter atreading.Tellme,doyouhaveafavoritetypeofbook?”
“Ican’tgetenoughofthedemonfairytales,they’resimplysofascinating” “Ah,” she says, nodding. “Iused to read those to Calias all the time whenhe was a child. Cannever go wrongwitha classicfairytale Tellme,Vanessa,arethereanyhumanfairytalesthatwecanperhapsgetforyou?” “I…Idonotknowofany,I’mafraid.Iwasneverreadtoasachild.”
“Isee,”shewhispers “Well,onceyouimproveyourreadingskills,wecangetsomeforyou Betterlatethannever” “ThankyouNesria,thatmeansalottome.”
“Don’tmentionit.Nowthen,let’stakealookatsomemorefairytales,hmm?”
CALIAS NomatterwhereIam,IfindmyselfthinkingaboutVanessa.She’slikeadrugtome,onethatIcannotridfrommysystem. AsmuchasIwanttospendallmydaysbyherside,Ican’t KingVag’thimonneedsme,andI’dbeafooltogoagainsttheordersofaking.
It’snearlybeenamonthsinceIboughtandbroughtherheretoNyxia.We’vebecomecloseduringthattime,butwhenduty calls,Iunfortunatelyhavetoanswer
Twice,theKingsentmebacktoNewSolas.Twice,hehasforceddistancebetweenVanessaandI.
ThelasttimeIsawKingVag’thimon,furyexudedfromhimlikeheatfromaflame Hepacedthefloor,unabletokeepstill asherecountedthelatestxaphaniandevelopmentsinNewSolas.
“They’reexpandingthemilitarybase,Calias Wemustact Weneedtolearnmore”
“Sowhatdoyouexpectmetodonow?”Irememberaskingthisinthehopeshe’dsendsomeoneelsetoNewSolas.Ididn’t wanttoleaveVanessa.“Iwasjustthere.”
“Well, go again!” he boomed, a reactionthatmade me still “Use your intimidationto getmore informationoutofthem! Anddon’tcomebackuntilyoucangetmesomemoredetails!”
As muchas Iwantedtorefuse,Iclenchedmyjaw,bowedmyhead,andarrangedfor mytriptoNew Solas Whenever I depart,I’mcomfortedbythefactthatVanessaremainsingoodhands,butit’sclearthatmypresenceisthebestforher.
Itakecareofher Imakesurethatshe’sfeelingokayateveryhouroftheday Herneedsaretendedto EachtimeIgetto grazeherskinandreadtoher,itfeelslikemywholeexistenceisjustified.Shegivesmepurpose.
Ofcourse,Ican’tblametheKingforsendingmeofftoNewSolas.I’mthebesthehas.I’mnotpartofthemilitary;atmost, Ihaveimportantconnectionstotheroyalfamily Reputation,however,meansalotandmanyknowmetobetheonethatwon’t hesitatetoripsomeone’sheadoffiftheywrongmeinanyway.
Myinfamyisbothablessingandacurse Everyoneknowsmeandfearsme,butnowitmeansthatIhavetobeseparated fromVanessafromtimetotime.
Icanhardlywaittoreturnhometoher.We’reclosetoNyxia,thevolcanoappearsonthehorizonjustastheeveningskies taketheirappearanceabove.Irefusetoshow it,butinternally,excitementthrumsthroughmycore.I’llseeVanessasoon.I’ll readtohersoon.
Does she miss me like I miss her? My very being craves her whenever we ’ re apart However,thecynicinmeisquicktocackleandmockmyidyllicmusings.Justlikethat,thesmilefallsfrommyfaceand myfistsslowlyclenchtightly
Why would she care about you? You bought her. She’s your property. She probably thinks you ’ re a monster, and truth be told, you are
Thatstings.I’mobsessedwithher.Ican’tevenclosemyeyeswithoutseeingherbeautifulimage,onewhereshe’stuckinga strandofhairbehindherearandstaringatmewithherwideblueeyes.
Imissherdeeply
AsatisfiedrumbleescapesmeonceIarriveinNyxia,recognizingthefamiliarhousesandbuildingsofmyhometown.The oneswhonoticemyarrivaldiptheirheadsinasignofrespect,butIhardlypayanyattentiontothem Imustreturnhome.Idon’thavetimetoentertainthehollowcomplimentsfromthebeingswhoareattemptingtogetintomy goodgraces.
“Ah,”Nesriabreathesout,almostrelaxingatthesightofmeonceIpassthroughthethresholdofmyhome “Calias How wasthetrip?”
“Predictable,”Ireplywithaboredshrug “Ididwhatwasneededofme IdidwhattheKingwanted”
“Willhebesendingyouoffagainanytimesoon?”
“Whydoyouask?”Ilaughquietly,releasingthetensioninmybody.“Didyoumissme,Nesria?”
“Idid,yes,butitseemslikeyoudon’twanttobeawayfromhomeanymore.Youspendfartoomuchtimehere,youknow.I thinkit’sgoodtogetsomeoutsideaireverynowandthen” “Soit’stheopposite,then.You’dratherformetogoaway.”
“Iwantyoutobegratefulfortheopportunitiesyouhave,”sherepliesbluntly Then,sheextendsahandinthedirectionof Vanessa’sroom.“Gotoher.She’sbeenwaiting.”
Narrowingmyeyes,IwatchasNesriadepartsintothekitchen Iapproachthenearestbookshelf,takingmypickofafew booksthatIthinkVanessawillenjoy.Then,Imakemywaytoherbedroom.Iknocktwicebeforeentering.
Indeed,shesitsonthefootofthebedandsmilesoncesherealizesit’sme.Ireciprocatethetendergesture.
“Calias,”shesaysinasmallvoice,onethatmakesallthetensioninmybodyebbawayimmediately “You’reback”
“OfcourseIam.I’llalwayscomebacktoyou.”Gesturingtowardsthebooksinmyhand,Imakemywayoverandsitnext toheronthebed Ifeelitdipconsiderablybecauseofmyweight “We’llbepracticingsomereading”
Asmallsmilegracesherfaceandshesettlesinnexttome.Iopeneachbookandguideherthroughthepages.She’sshown greatprogresscomparedtowhenshefirstgothere Amonthago,shewould’veneverbeenabletoreadherownname Now,she’sgettingthroughthesentences,slowlybutsurely.Prideswellsinmychest,knowingthatI’mthereasonforher progress.I’mthereasonwhyshe’sbecomingabetterversionofherself.
Prideisn’ttheonlyfeelingthatconsumesmewheneverI’maroundVanessa There’sastrongurgetoprotecther,tomake surenoonecaneverhurtheragain.
Iwouldkill for her andI’ve proventhatalready,butthere’s anever presentanxietythatlooms over me whenever Ifind myselfstaringatherfortoolong.
RegardlessofhowIfeelforher,thatdoesn’tchangethefactthatIboughther.Whatifthat’senoughtosoilherperceptionof meforever?Whatifwecannevergetpastthat?
“Calias?”
Blinkingoutofmydaze,IrealizethatVanessaispointingtoaparticularwordonthepage “Idon’tknowthatone.”
Shetapsherfingeronthewordinquestion “Enamor,”Isay.
“Enamor.” Vanessa does her best to enunciate the word. Then, she quietly repeats it to herself until she has it down. “Enamor.Whatdoesitmean?”
“Tofallinlovewithsomething,”Ireply.Then,Iclearmythroat.“Orwithsomeone.” Shegrins,grippingthebooktightlywithherfingers “That’saprettyword” Ironically, that’s exactly how I feel whenever I’m around her. Enamored. Infatuated. Obsessed.
“Keepreading,”Icommandgently,leaningawayfromher Themerescentthatsheexudesisenoughtodrivemecrazywith lust.“You’redoingafinejob.”
“Justfine?Howaboutexcellent?”
“Keepworkingatitandyou’llgetthere I’mnotseeingmuchexcellencerightnow”
AhintofafrownstartsformingonVanessa’sface,butthensheducksherheadandresumesherfocusonthepage.Itlooks likeIinstilledherwithanewdeterminationtogetthisright,whichpleasesme I’msureit’sbetterthisway.Beingsternwithherandkeepingmydistancewill beagoodthingforthebothofus.Ican’t keeplettingmyemotionsconsumeme Iactmonstrouswhenmypassionstakeholdofmybody,willingtohurtanyonethatgets inthewayofwhatIwant.
IcanstillrememberthelookofhorroronDhymhi’sfacewhenIexpressedmydesiretobuyVanessabackatthemarkets. HowhehadtopullmeawayandstickmeinabartocooldownbecauseIcouldn’tcontrolmyself
Mydesire for Vanessa threatens to consume me ina similar way, butI’mnotsure she feels the same. She’s a human, of course I’msuretheirkindhavebettercontroloftheirsensesthanmost
Thatbrings me to aninevitable conclusion. Vanessa doesn’tlove me. I’ll onlybe her master, butnother lover. Nother purposeorherreasonforgettingupinthemorning
“Youhaven’tbeenpayingmuchattentiontoday,”sheremarks,keepingherthumbbetweenthepagesassheshutsthebook. “AreyousureIshouldkeepreading?”
“Yes,youshould Whyareyouaskingsuchasillyquestion?”
“Whenever I ask for corrections on my reading, you don’t seemto hear me,” she says, which makes me curse myself internally “It’slikeyourmindislostsomewhereelse”
“It’sfine.”Iholdupahand.“I’moverthat.Continue.”
Shesendsmealook,andImotionforhertokeepgoing.I’mcurtwithmyresponsesandbrusquewithwhatIthinkofher readingskills.Basedonherresponses,I’mnottoosureshe’shappywithhowI’mactingwithher.
It’s for the best, Calias. Some distance from her will do you well. Maybe that’s what Nesria was referring to.
VANESSA One.
One week
IttakesmesometimetogetusedtothegentlerhythmofNyxia. Ispendmostofmyfirstweekcurledupinamassivebed,asleeporsimplylayingwithmyeyesclosed. Partofmeneverwantstogetoutofbed Partofmefeelsstuckinbed,becauseallIcanfeelistheutterdisbeliefthatthisis thelifeIhavenow.
Todayisnodifferent Iwakeupinthelateafternoontothesoundofagentleknockonthebedroomdoor AndIknowexactlywhatisabouttohappen.
Isitupinbed,andforthefirsttimethisweek,Iactuallyfeelalmostcheerful “Comein,”Icall,andmyvoiceechoesoffthewallsofthelargeroom. Thedoorswingsopen,andNesriawalksinholdingatray.
“Itistimeforyourbath,mydear,”shetellsmeinherfriendlybutfirmvoice Inodeagerly,andshesmiles,asshecomesaroundthebedtohelpmeoutofit.Thebedishigh,aswellasbeinglarge,and mylegisstillpainful
“Ow!”Igaspaspainstreaksfrommyhipdowntomyfoot.NesriawinceswhenmyhipmakesaclickingsoundasItwist mywayoffthebed
“Areyouokay?”sheasksme,andherforeheadiscreasedwithworry. Iletoutsmallgaspsasmyheartratereturnstonormalafterthespikeofpain. “I’mfinenow,”Isayafterafewminutes Nesriahelpsmetothebathroomthatisoffthesideofthebedroom,whereawarm,fullbathiswaitingforme. Icannevergetoverdemonicmagic,andhoweasyitmakeseverything AndIcannotbelievethatthisismylifenow.
TWO.
Two weeks
IcannotsuppressthegaspthatescapesmewhenIlookatmyselfinthemirror.
Themirror tall,thin,andornate hangsintheentrywayofthebedroomIsleepineverynight. IknowthatIlookbad Ihavelookedbadforyearsnow Icannotcontrolmyhair,soIusuallyjusttieitbackandhopefor thebest.Myhairisalsodifficulttowash,butmymotherwouldneverletmecutit. IalsoknowthatIamtoothin Iamcoveredinoldscarsandtheshadowsofbruisesremainonmypaleskin It’s just best to stay away from mirrors. You might not like the truth of what you see. Buttoday,Icannotavoidit
Today,Nesriahelpedmebatheagain.Shewashedmyhairseveraltimes,beforepouringoilsovermyhead,andrubbingmy bodydownwithlotions.
Andnow,afterIamdriedanddressedinoneofthemostexquisitedressesIhaveeverlaidmyeyeson,Nesriahasforced meinfrontofthemirror.
“Ilook ”Myvoicetrailsoffasmyheartthumpsunsteadilyinmychest “Youlookbeautiful,”Nesriatellsmeandsqueezesmyarm.
