Elaine was twelve, like me, and had beenmybestfriend since kindergarten. She neatlyputher bagonthe benchbythe wall,thenpickedmineupandplaceditnexttohers NowondermymomlovedElainehangingoutwithmeafterschool She probablyhopedhergoodmannerswouldeventuallyruboffonme.
Tenyears older thanme, Ciana had always beenthe girl Iadmired to the pointofworship. She was the daughter ofmy mom’soldersisterwhopassedawayafewyearsago.Ciana’sfatherhadraisedherthroughhighschoolonhisown.Thetwoof themwouldcometoourhouseforeverybirthdayandholiday
Whenheleftoursmalltowntogotocollegeaftergraduation,Cianawentwithhim She’dsaidshe’dgotocollegetoo I rememberhowhappyshe’dbeenlookingforwardtoanewadventureinthebigcity.
As it’d turned out, there had beenno weddingat all whenshe married Dylan, just a ceremony, withtwo strangers for witnesses Noonefromourtownhadbeeninvited,notevenus,herclosestfamily “Howisshe?”DadaskedMomquietly. Ipausedonthebottomstair,waitingforheranswer “Alittlebetter,Ithink.Wewentshoppingforclothesforherthismorningandgotherhairdone.Wetalkedalittle.Butshe stillrefusestospeakabouthim ”Sheshookherhead “IswearIshould’vestrangledthatpieceofshitbackinthecity” Lucygaspedatmymom’sswearing.ButIknewCiana’shusbanddeservedallthatandmore.
IrememberedMomgrowingmoreandmoreworriedasCiana’sphonecallsgrewshorterandfartherbetween.Then,they had stopped completely We hadn’theard a word fromCiana for anentire month One day, Momand Dad had packed their suitcasesanddriventothecity,leavingmewithMelanie,myoldersister.
I’dheardtherehadbeenafightwhenthey’dconfrontedDylan I’dlearnedthepolicegotinvolved I’dheardDylanwasno longer allowed anywhere near Ciana, whichwas a good thing. He must’ve done somethingbad to her. Because mysmiling, bubblycousinhadbeenasad,timidshadowofherformerselfeversinceMomandDadbroughthertoourhousetwodaysago. “Isshestilltalkingabouttheblacksmoke?”Dadaskedquietly.
Melaniejerkedherheadimpatiently,flickingbackhershoulder-lengthhair,blondelikemine “Well,Dadwantstogotobed.Heneedshisteethbrushedandstuff.”Shegavemeapointedlook. It’d been years since Mompassed fromthe same disease that had taken her older sister, the type of cancer that killed womenfastandyoung.Adecade older thanmymom,Dadhadalways saidhe’dgofirst,butfate hadruledotherwise.He’d neverrecoveredfromheruntimelyloss,andwithage,hismentalhealthhaddeterioratedtothepointthathecouldn’tstayinthe houseonhisownanymore.
Itmade sense. Melanie had a growingcareer infinance. Ihad odd dance gigs here and there, still workingongettinga contractwithaproductioncompany Betweenthetwoofus,I’dseemedtobeamorelogicalchoicetoputmydreamsonhold andmovebackhometotakecareofDad.
Iwastheonlyonewho’dseentheblacksmokeinherbedroomthatday DadhadbeentoofocusedonsearchingforCiana to notice the bizarre smoke curl around his feetbefore it’d beensucked backinto the walls and the carpet. ButIwas only twelvebackthen Adultshadquicklydismissedmystoryaboutsmokethatcamewithoutafireanddisappearedwithoutatrace Thesmokehadn’tbeenentirelyodorless,however.Iremembereditsmelledlikeheat,likesandwarmedupbythesun,that was the bestwayIcould describe it Butthathad proventoo vague for the authorities to take mywords seriouslyor to do anythingwiththatinformation.
Eventually,Ciana’sdisappearancehadbeentossedintothepileofunsolvedcases,andtheworldhadmovedon. Nothingelsehadhappenedsincethen Theblacksmokehadn’tcomeback,andnooneelsehaddisappearedfromourtown Eversincethatday,however,I’dbeenavoidingthebasementbedroom.Iwouldonlycomedownheretodothelaundry.When Elaine visited, we stayed downstairs to watchTV, so as notto disturb Melanie, who’d beenworkingona presentationfor
Another shadow separated fromthe darkness inside the room It dissipated into a fine, blackmist that blew across the basement,thensolidifiedintoahumanoidshapeinfrontofMelanie,cuttingoffherescape.
The shadowyshape infront ofMelanie twisted at the torso Along, curved sword emerged out ofnowhere The blade glimmeredwithredsparks,liketwinklingChristmaslightsasitdescendedonmyfather.Withastrangled,gurglingsound,he crasheddownthestairs.
Dad’s neckbentatanodd angle whenhe hitthe ground. Adark-red puddle immediatelyformed under him. The pungent copperystenchofbloodblendedwiththescentofthedesert.
“Daddy!”Icried
Horror and anguishgripped mychestso tightlyIcouldn’tdraw a breath. Myfingers shook, lettinggo ofElaine, and the shadowstookher
Then, the darkness flooded my vision once again, and the heat rushed in The sensation of weightlessness was gone Gravitytossedmedowntotheground.Hotsandscrapedmyhandsandburnedmykneesthroughmypajamapants.
The darkness thinned but didn’t dissipate completely. The night skywas above me. The bloated moonlooked perfectly round,surroundedbytwinklingcrystalsofstarsamongthefeatheryclouds Iwasoutside.AndIwasn’talone.
As myeyes got used to the night, the darkfigures surroundingme came into focus Elaine was kneelingto myleft She patted the ground around her, likely searching for her glasses since they weren’t on her face. I spotted their metal frame twinklinginthesandinfrontofmeandpickedthemup
“Hereyougo,Elaine.”
“Thanks.”Sheputthemon,gettingup.
Melanie spatthe sandoutofher mouth,climbingtoher feettoo.“Whatthe fuckis this shit? Whathappened? Where are we?”
Was anything right withanythingatthis point? ButIbroughtmyhands uptomyface,quicklyrunningmyfingers over it. Otherthanthefinelayerofsandcoveringeveryinchofmyskin,myfaceseemednormal.
“Whataboutmyeyes?”Iblinked
Thewomanwincedandglancedaway.“Theydon’tmatch.”
“No Theydon’t Neverdid”
Ihadheterochromia oneofmyeyeswasblue,theotherbrown.Mostpeoplecommentedonthatwhentheyfirstmetme, thoughno one ever looked as disturbedor repulsedas this womandid. Ihad noidea how she evenspotted myeye color at nightorwhyitmattered.
She gestured wildlywithbotharms, and Inoticed several more figures surroundingus Some ofthemwere taller, with moremasculineproportions,thoughallofthemworethesamedarkgarmentsandsoft,highboots,likethewoman.
“Keepstill,”Serusgrunted,adjustingmeunderhisarm “OrGeneralOskurawillordermetotieyourlegstoo” He whistled, and the camel bentits frontlegs, kneelingto lower the caged seatthatwas mounted onits back. The beast appearedtoodarkandhugetobereal,yetitmoveditsjaw,givingusacuriouslookasSerusshovedElaineagainstitsside “Climb,”heordered.
She hadn’t shut up ever since they’d shoved us into this cage Shedding whatever class she’d so carefully cultivatedwhilebuildinghercareerinthecity,shesworeandcursedlikeadrunksailor,callingourcaptorsallpossiblekinds ofnames Icouldn’tblameher I’ddothesameifmymindwasn’tweigheddownbygrief
The image of Dad falling down the stairs played in my head on repeat. Despite his fragile mental health, Dad was a survivor Hemustbealive Irefusedtothinkotherwise
Deep inside, Iknew Dad was dead the momentithappened. The wayhis head bentwhenhe hitthe ground, the waythe openwoundgapedacrosshisthroat,thewayhiseyesremainedopen…Mypoordad. Icriedopenly.Andfromsorrow,angerrose.
Isniffed,blinkingtearsaway.Wemust’vetravelledforsometimenow.Myarmsweregoingnumbfrombeingtiedforso long Mymouthfeltdry,andMelaniesoundedlikeshewaslosinghervoicefromallheryelling Theairhadcooledsomewhat, sendingchillsdownmyarmsandseepingthroughmyshort-sleevet-shirt.
Pressing my face between the cage bars, I did what Elaine told me to do I looked closely, studying our surroundings carefully.AndthemoreIlooked,thebiggerthedreadgrewinsideme.
Except that the dunes here shimmered inthe moonlight as ifstudded withdiamonds. Abreeze shifted the sand withthe melodious sound oftricklingwater The camels stepped softlyonthe desertfloor, movingalongthe dunes like a flotilla of shipsintheocean.I’dneverseenalivecamelbefore,butIdoubtedtheywerenormallyquiteasbigorhadsuchsoftflowing furliketheonewhocarriedourcage
While Melanie screamed her head off and I was lost to all the stages of grief, Elaine paid attention. She listened and watched. And she was right. This wasn’t our world. The creatures who tookus weren’t humans. I’d never seena shadow wieldingaswordbefore
The realization slammed into me like a wrecking ball From the moment we got here, we’d been speaking the same language as our captors. OnlywhenIlistened to itclosely, itdidn’tsound like anylanguage I’d ever learned or evenheard before.
Lookingback,Inoticedwithsurprisethatthecaravanwas nolonger small.Somewherealongtheway,morecamels had joinedus.Now,thelinestretchedasfarasIcouldseebehindus.Someoftheanimalscarriedidenticalcagestoours,andall
Elaine keptclose tome,her sweater ticklingthe skinonmyboundarms.“Where the heckare we? Andhow didwe get here?”
“I’mmore concerned withhow to getthe fuckoutofhere,” Melanie croaked, standingnextto us. Her voice was almost completelygonenow,butdefiancewasclearinherexpression “Weneedtofindawayback,andthesoonerthebetter Ihave averyimportantpresentationnextweek.”
Thatworld our real world alreadyfeltsodistant,asifalifetimehadpassed.Eventhehorrorofwhathappenedtomy fatherfeltoddlymuffledsomehow,likeit’dhappenedinanightmarethathadalreadypassed
Atallgateofcarvedwoodopenedinthesideofthehillonthegroundlevel,andafewridersexited.Theoneinthefront rode a snow-white camel, whichinstantlyset himapart fromthe rest Like the others, he also wore a skirt-like garment, a chainmailoverhischest,andboots.Buthisclotheswereslightlydifferent.
Teneris looked bigger inside thanitdid fromthe outside. Inside the hill, there were cobblestone streets, multiple-story buildings,andalargeopenplazawheretheybroughtallofuswhohadarrivedwiththecaravan
Insteadofstreetlights,tall,glowingcolumnsilluminatedtheplacewithsoft,yellowlight.Intricatemosaicscovered thefloorofthecitysquarethatwasn’tactuallyshapedlikeasquarebutlikeahexagon,witheachcornerleadingintoanarrow sidestreet.Theyellowclaywallsofthebuildingsedgedtheplaza.Ontheirroofs,thetallgrassswayed,makingthecitylook like a gianthill fromthe outside An anthill, Ithought, lookingup at all the openings and balconies ofthe two-storywalls surroundingthecityplaza.
A big problem was that this world also felt real. Unlike in a dream or a hallucination, the events here occurred continuously and in a logical order, with no time or space jumps. All my senses absorbed my surroundings in a regular, realisticway,evenifthesurroundingsseemedasfantasticasifconjuredbyafeverishimagination
Meanwhile,wewereherdedintothemiddleofthehexagonal plaza,alongwiththeothers.Theshadow peopleplacedus shouldertoshoulder,formingaline.Allhumansinlineappearedtobeadults,someyoungerthanus,someolder.Therewere menandwomenofallraceshere Someworepajamasorsleepwear,likeElaineandI Othersweredressedinstreetclothes thatseemed to come fromall over the globe. One womanwore a sari. Astoutmanhad a wool coatand a fur haton. Two youngergirlshadthongflip-flopsontheirfeet
Atall man sauntered onto the plaza, and I recognized the rider of the white camel He’d left his camel elsewhere but retainedhisroyalattitudeandtheregalposture.
Heheldmygazesteadilyfor another moment.Hiseyesmovedbetweenmine,backandforth.Heflinchedasifrepulsed. Suddenly,hereleasedmywristsandsteppedback,avoidingeyecontactnow
“Myprince,”thegeneral loweredher voice,buttheystoodcloseenoughfor metohear her.“Thiswasapublicinsultto you Sheneedstobepunished”
“That is awful.” Oskura grimaced in disgust. “My apologies, Your Highness. The men clearly didn’t pay attention, otherwisetheywould’venever broughther here”Shepausedfor amoment,as ifthinkingofasolution “Icangougeoneof themout.Whichonewouldyoulikegone?Theblueorthebrownone?”
“Please leave her eyes alone. There’ll be no gouging. Canyoujustexplainto me whytheyare the waytheyare? Is she sick?Humansaregenerallyweak.I’veheardtheygetsickeasily.”
Irolled backmyshoulders weighed downbythe heavyjewelrypiece over mychest. Oskura was right, ofcourse. The humanraised a hand to me infrontofmyentire court Whoever hadn’tseenit, surelyheard the ringofthe slap as her hand connected withmycheek. The spot still burned, as did myego. No one had dared insult me like that before, not evenmy mother.
Iadjustedmybraidsovermyshoulders Eachthinbraidhadsixroundgoldenclipspositionedatevenintervalsalongits length. Six braids. Three on each side of my head, with the rest of my hair upbraided. A perfectly even, symmetrical arrangement Unlikethathuman’sface Curiositynudgedatmetofindoutthereasonbehindhermisfortune.
Oskurafrowned,thensquinted,wrinklinghernose She’dbeenthegeneralofmyarmyforeightyearsnow,eversinceI’d left Kalmena. But Oskura had been my loyal friend and my right hand for many decades. By now, I’d learned all her expressions,includingthefaceshemadewhenshewasstalling,knowingIwouldn’tlikeheranswer.
Asoldier inmyarmy, a member ofmypersonal guard, livinginmycitywiththe full access to mypalace should notbe easilystartled,especiallybyanold,weakhuman.Iexpectedfarbetterself-controlfrommypeople.
Elaine sucked in a breath in horror, her eyes growing wide. A woman behind us giggled, obviously overhearing us. Melaniehadn’ttriedtobequiet,speakingasloudaswhatwasleftofhervoicewouldallowher
I’dseenthissmokebefore,inthesameplacewherethey’dtakenusfrom,inmyparents’basement.Yearsago,Cianawas taken AndnowIwonderedifwhathappenedtoushadhappenedtohertoo Butifso,wasshestillhere?
Maybe theycould talkto me, answer myquestions, and explainwhatwas goingto happen Whatever was to come, I’d rathertheytellmenowthanleavemesittingherealone,dreadingtheworst.
Thedoorremainedlocked,however.Noonecamein.Noonereplied.Iheardnomovementbehindthedooreither.Itwas like the food tray had materialized on its own But the shadow people moved so soundlessly, I just couldn’t hear their footsteps.
Grabbingthe trayfromthe bed where I’d leftit, Iexamined the food. The plate held a generous pile ofwarm, tasteless mush Whoevermadeithadn’tbotheredputtinganysaltinit,nottomentionanyaddedflavor Thecorkedskinbagheldsome cool,cleanwater.Refreshing,buthardlysatisfying.
Whydidshecallme‘sweetone’whenI’dbehavedinawayquitetheoppositeofsweet?Itmadeitsoundominous,likeshe wasreferringtothetasteofmyflesh Acoldshiverofapprehensionrandownmyspine God, please don’t let them eat me.
Myknees grew weakas we approachedtall goldengates inanarcheddoorway Behindthe gates laya hall witha high, vaultedceiling.
Thegeneralmarchedacrossthehall,explainingtomeoverhershoulder.“JoyGuardianswillbuildtheconnectionbetween your leilathas andourtendrils”
Agroup ofsixpeople waited for us inthe room Three menand three womengathered bythe window withthe view of blacksandandstarryskies.Itwasnightagain.Thegeneraldidn’tliewhenshesaidI’dsleptthroughtheentireday.
Theysure liked hexagons inthis place. Thenitdawned onme. Teneris wasn’tananthill buta beehive. And ifIwas the “sweetone,”thenImustbeabouttogetstung.
Dread tightened around mychest like a steel band Withmyeyes dartingaround the room, Ifranticallysearched for an escape.Maybe Icouldbreakthroughthe glass inthe window? OnlyI’dhave tomake itpastthe sixpeople onmywaytoit first
The JoyGuardians returned her greeting, castingcurious glances myway. All sixwore skirts thatlooked like theywere made frommelted gold. The fabric streamed down, huggingtheir hips and legs and leavingtheir arms and torsos bare. The metal meshover their chests was made of goldenhexagons, also connected ina honeycomb pattern It was decorated with blackandyellowstonessetinauniquepatternforeach.TheirhairwasshorterthanofanyoneelseI’dmetheresofar.Itwas pulledupandtwistedintointricateknotsontopoftheirheads
“Nonsense,” she said, usingher tendrils to turnme around “Happiness is the heart’s deepestdesire Everyone longs to experiencejoy.You’reoneoftheluckyoneswhocan.Whydenyittoyourself?”
The rest of the Joy Guardians released their tendrils. They slapped them like ropes around my arms, legs, and torso, immobilizingme.Myheartracedsofastitechoedinmyskull.
Ibreathed rapidly, staringat the highvaulted ceilingwhere the painted woodenbeams met ina hexagoninthe middle Smallwhite,orange,andgreentilesmadeapatterninsidethehexagon.Countingthegreentilesinmyhead,Iprayedallofthis wouldbeoversoon
So far, nothinghurt, butthe loss ofcontrol was unnerving. Icouldn’tmove a muscle, tied withthe solid, blackropes of theirtendrils.
Their eyelids hooded their eyes. Their features relaxed as if in meditation. The glow shimmered in the candlelight. It loopedtothestarsoftheharness Themetalwarmed,thenheated,searingmyskin “Itburns!”Iscreamed,jerkingintheholdoftheirtendrils.
Inadditiontothephysicalpain,somethingdarkerandfarmoresinistergrippedmefromtheinside.Thepainofloss.The agonyof grief Sadness so darkit was mind-blinding The emotional torment was deep and all-consuming Tears streamed downmyface,buttheybroughtnorelief.Fortherewasnorelieffromthisdevastatinganguish.
The emotional painproved far stronger thanwhatwas happeningto mybody. Ino longer cared aboutthe burnfromthe harness Myheartandmyverysoulwerewrenchedoutofmychest Withthatcameterror Itshookmewithincomprehensible horror.
