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“Then one scholar found an ancient text. He said it confirmed the existence of queens, along with a dire prophesy. A day would come when the old kings and queens returned Each would battle the other The kings would prevail But the queens their destruction would come through the ancient curse. Because their true sin was arrogance. ” Astory, relayed by Laura Porter to Noa Bishop. The scholar’s ancient text has never been found.
Forfivedays,we’dbeencoveringtheterritoryaroundAzul,huntinginpatterns,eachonefartherawayfromthepointwhere NoaBishopdisappeared We’dracedthroughthewilderness,pastremnantsofdesertedoutposts theforgottenplaceswhere the buildings were dull and charcoaled. We tore throughold-growthforests, across valleys withbroad meadows thickwith grassandthorns.Intothehighmistymountains.
Ihad no control. Noa’s fate was now irrevocablyintertwined withmine whenIfuckingdid notwantitthatway. Didn’t wantourlivestoplayoutaccordingtosomedestructiveforceIcouldnotseeorfight Iwantedtobelievewehadchoices,sheandI,andthatwedidn’tdancetoatunesungbyfate.Iwantedher tobesafe,to havethelifeshedeserved.Achancetosmileagain.Fallinlove,haveafamilyandthechildrenshe’dtalkedabout. Forgetthisnightmarefatehaddecreed
And yet… after the rite, whenshe’d said her goodbyes… whenshe’d touched the wolfand said… promise me… all I’d wantedthenwastotellherthetruth EvenwhenIunderstoodeverythingthatIhopedforherwouldneverbe,ifshestayedwith me.
FromthemomentIfoundherinLeo’svetclinic,destroyingthatpig I’dknownIcouldn’tgiveherthepeaceshedeserved I heard her terrified thoughts. Her hearthad pounded withthe beliefthatshe’d turned feral, eventhoughshe had no wolfand becomingferalwasimpossible.
ShealsobelievedthatbecauseIwasAlpha,I’dberesponsibleforputtingferalwolvesdown puttingherdown Theidea had sickened me, thatshe’d believe… butshe refused to talkto me. Ihad no wayofexplaining. WhenIsearched her mind, she’dshutmeout,hidingherfearsbehindthechantsofliar, liar pants on fire
FallonsaidIshouldtreather like a youngwolf,gether backintotraining.Mace arguedfor more time.After the shockof battle,Noaneededtoadjust.Acceptwhatshe’dhadtodoinSentinelFallsduringtheGathering,thenthedestructionofAzul. Exceptthatthere’dbeennotimeforeithersolutionbecausethedeadcouldn’twait
All I could do was ask Noa to honor Halwyn at the rite, and she agreed, even though it broke her heart. She’d never understoodthegiftshe’dgivenHalwyn Butbyusingthetalentshehated,she’deasedhissilentwolf,lesseningthetormentfor thoselastfew weeks.She’dearnedthe righttogrieve withthe restofus.Earnedthe privilege ofstandingfor Halwyn,with FallonandAnsonSalas theAlphaofCarmag atherside
ButwhatNoa had understoodthatday andIhadn’t washowthepackwasreacting. She’daskedfornopity,noneforherbeforethedeadhadbeenhonored.
Iwasn’tsurprisedwhenIsawherstandingbeneaththetrees.She’dalwaysbeenabletofindme,evenwhenwewerekids. But she wasn’t here for another adventure Everything about her screamed impatience Her stiff posture, the way her arms crossedandtightened.
Frowningatthewolf,shesaid,“Stopindulginghim.”
Thewolfshookhisheadandbaredhisslobberingcanines.
“You have five minutes,” she said, her voice nearly growling, her hand sweeping tensely toward the trees where she’d stacked myclothes Thenshe glared at the wolf’s eyes probablysearchingfor me there “It’s beenfive days, Gray, and I don’tgiveagods-damnifyou’retheAlphaoryourwolfdoesn’tlikeit.Youhavetostop.”
Iwalked backto where she stood, tuckingmyshirt, straighteningthe jeans, mybodycool and decentbecause the wolf’s sweatyexertionhadbeenhisandnotmine.“Hewasn’tindulgingme.”
Odd, that she’d bring up that memory, as if she was thinking about what I’d been thinking our adventures. She’d been twelve MaceandIwerefifteen TooinexperiencedtobesneakingintoAlpenterritory,wantingtovisitthefabledwitcheswho lived ina cave. Whenthe alpha found out, he had us doingdouble-shifts for a month. We’d never patrolled so muchinour younglives
“Wewerestandingthere,staringateachother,tryingtodecidewhowentinfirst,anddoyourememberwhatyousaid?The worstpartwiththe witches was facingthe fear Ifwe did that, the restwould be easy And Iknow we’re notsupposed to revealwhatthewitchestoldus.”
“Bigsecrets.”Igrinned.“Whatdidtheytellyou?”
“Nothingyouneedtoknow.”Herchinjuttedup.“ButtheyprobablytoldMacehe’dbetheprettyboyofthepack,andyou… Ithinktheysaid you’d do greatthings one day. I’ve noticed, Gray. No one else has, butwhatyouhave, magic or power, or
Turningaway, Ismoothed the shirtIwore, buttoned, withlongsleeves, more formal withthe blackjeans. Blackwas my choice WhatIpreferred, withoutthe fightingleathers myseconds favored Clothes were merelya symbol ofauthority The packwouldchoosewhattheywantedtorespect.Ordoubtattheirperil.
“Maceisback”FallonglancedtowardthehillssurroundingAzul,barelyvisibleinthedistance,andIscrubbedahandover myeyes.I’daskedhimtovisitthesettlements,talktotheeldersandcheckonhissoldiers.SentinelFallsdidn’thaveastanding army. None of the packs did. What we had were wolves who reported to Mace and Falloneverymonthfor training. They understood potential threats. Acted as mentors. Butwhenfaced witha threat, boththe menand the womenwere skilled and lethal,respectedbyalliesandenemiesalike.
Fewpacksdaredattackus UntiltheGathering Fallonslid into her alpha role, scanningthe trees while she spoke. “Ihave squad leaders trainingthe recruits, eventhose whoaren’tsixteen Themenwithfightingexperiencestartedteachingbattlestrategies I’veincreasedthepatrols,andourbest spiesarereportingback.EveryoneiswaitingforyouinAzul.”
I’d issued anorder as Alpha ofSentinel Falls thatnone dared ignore. The packwould gather, alongwitheveryelder, as many as the meadow would accommodate. I would address them, then open the meeting to comments or complaints. Accusations.
ThepackhadmixedemotionsaboutprotectingNoaBishop A faille I’dgivenherapackmark ThenI’dmarkedherwrist withmyblackwolfrune.Claimedher.Pulledherintomyinnercircle,thefewItrusted. Iwasawareoftheviciousrumorscirculating,andthosewhostartedthem IfIlostsupport, a challenge would follow. Iwelcomed it. Partofme burned, hopinga wolfwould step up, confrontme. Facemyvowtofindthetraitorhidingsomewherewithinthepack.ForcehimintotheopenbeforeIrippedhimapart. Thattraitor had beenfeedinginformationto our enemies He had betrayed the Gathering The pack Gone after Laura and Leo.AfterNoa.
ONCEWEREACHEDAZUL,Fallonwentahead to find Mace. Ilooked for Levi and motioned himto myside. Atsixteen, withalankybuildandfloppybrownhair,LeviPorterlookedtooyoungtobeawarrior Butduringtheshadowwolfattackon SentinelFalls,heneverhesitated.HeliveduptohisPiedPiperfame,leadingdozensofchildrentosafety.Whenthefighting overranAzul, Levi’s wolfprotected Noa Killed the creatures stormingthroughthe town Iwanted the packto see himina placeofhonor,walkingbesideme.
Leviglancedup,grinned,thendippedhischintomeasaflushpinkenedhisface.Womenthrewflowersatourfeet asign ofrespect althoughIthought about the flowers tossed five days ago, duringthe funeral rite. Then, the womenhad thrown thosepetalstowardthedriftingboatsthatcarriedthedeadtowardeternallight
Shade was non-existent since the pine trees were too far away, and the single open-sided white canopy beside the dais offered shelter for the old wolves Leo tended. No one else. Noteventhe dais had a covering. Ipreferred the open, as most wolvesdid.
Fallonhad beenright. After Noa’s arrival, mysenses sharpened. Idid more thaneavesdrop throughthe packbond. Every alpharequiredstrengthtosurvive Thesamemagicthatchosethewolfandimprintedthetattooontheman’sskinalsoflowed throughthealpha’sveins,andthepowerIhadnowhadincreasedinrecentweeks.Thewolvessensedit,andwhatthrummed fromthemheldconcernasmuchaspride
Neithermattered,notinthepredatorymoodgrippingme.Foroveradecade,I’dbattledaprivatewaragainstthesecretsand predictions The first prophesycame fromthe Gemini Witches whenI’d beenfifteen Thena warningfromthe Kingof the Forest,whenherevealedmydestiny,beyondbecomingtheAlphaofSentinelFalls.
Anotherwarningcamefromtheoldalphawhenhe’dgrippedmyhandduringtheminutesbeforehedied.He’daskedmeto leaninsoIcouldhearhiswhispered,terrifiedwords Wordsthat,forcenturies,onealphaspoketothenextalpha Whispered,becausehehadn’twantedtobelievethem. Butterrified,becausehefearedI’dhavenochoice but tobelieve Istillhadn’tdecidedwhatmightbetrue,althoughthatwasanotherbattleIwasfighting.TheblindnessFallonaccusedmeof having
Fallon controlled her smile Mace smirked I glared at the table beside the gods-awful chair A ceremonial square of yellowedwhitesilkcoveredthesurface.Smallblackdotsdecoratedthematerial themarkingsofafaeryflag,accordingto packlore, datingbackcenturies We had no proofthe flagcame fromthe faeries, although, duringa fightbetweentwo rival elders,onecornerofthesilkhadbeentornawayanddisintegratedinapuffofsmokeandflame.ButwhatcausedMace’ssmirk wasn’ttheflag.Itwastherelicsittingonthefaeryflag acurved,yelloweddrinkinghorn.
WolftraditionrequiredthepacktoremainstandingwhiletheAlphadrankafullmeasureofwine,provinghismanhood But since the wine was always warmandsour fromthe horn, I’dchanged the ritual. Sentinel Falls had three alphas. Thatmeant bothmysecondstookpartinthewinedrinking
The cheeringbothwarmed and grated onmynerves. Ipushed the irritationaside. The packwould remainstandinguntil I gavepermissiontosit,andeventhoughthedaywasheating,withthesunbeatingdown IwantedthemstandingwhileIstared attheeldersfillingthefrontrow
Mosbach,hiswhitehairslickedback,haddressedinblack.Theothersworesimilarclothes.Good,Ithought.Perhapsthey realizedthegravityofthesituation Soontheywouldlearnmore,andhowatleastoneofthemhadfailed Istudied the overflow crowd. WhenIfound the childrenwiththeir parents, the youngones Levi had saved Inodded to them.
“We honor those who died, within this pack and without. The nymphs Nia and Ashina. The witch.” My gaze slid to the elders “HernamewasAutumnPaige,agirlofsixteen Itseemscrueltocondemnonesoyoung,whowasherselfusedbythe Alpentospelltheattackers.”
Mosbach’s eyes narrowed Ikeptmyattentiononthe group behind him, members fromhis mountainsettlementwho stood stone-facedandrigid.
“TherepairsonSentinelFallsareinprogress,”Isaid “Azulisrecovering I’veorderedstrongerwardsandincreasedthe patrols. Other precautions remain secret. The priority is rebuilding. For those of you in the settlements if you sustained losses,talktoyourelders They’llrelaytheinformationtothosewhocanhelp”
OwenGriffith Irespected him He was husband to Miranda Kirk, the womanNoa helped inSentinel Falls There was a brother,Albert hiswolfwassilent.Isawthemboth,MirandaandAlbert,sittingbehindOwen.Shegavemeacarefulsmile asshepattedAlbert’shand PerhapsNoahadmorealliesatthismeetingthanIthought. Owenheldmygaze,andInoddedtohim.
“Most of us were there, Owen.” The disgruntled comment came fromanother elder HanleyAlbion. Hanleywas whitehaired, boney, more ofa figurehead elder. Due to age, Hanley’s son, Pawley, carried out the official duties. But as Hanley prodded the ground with the cane Leo insisted he use, I wondered whether his interruption came fromirritability or an attempttohidesomething.
GrippingAlbert’shand,shewovearoundothersseatedinherrow,steppingpastbentkneesandshuffledchairs,apologizing until theybothstoodcenteredintheaisle.Albertstaredattheir claspedhands.HehadthesameintensityI’dwitnessedwith Oscar,whenthesilenceofhiswolfhadbeenatitsworst
“IwishtotestifyonbehalfofNoaBishop,”Mirandasaid.
I glanced at Owen Concern wreathed his face, deepened the creases near his mouth and eyes The other elders were respectful,withvaryinglevelsofinterest.
Miranda drew in a deep breath. “I was rude to her during the Night of the Beacons, Alpha. I should have been more welcoming,butIwasnot,andI’mashamedofmybehavior Despitemyrudeness,shetreatedmewithgraceandgenerosityat theGathering.WhenIaskedifshehadtimetomeetAlbert,sheofferedrightaway.SheeasedhimthewayshedidforOscar.” Mirandaturnedtothelisteningwolves,andsaidclearly,“NoaBishopsatwithAlbertformorethanhalfanhour Shewanted tovisithimagain.ButthenshesensedsomethingIcouldn’t,andbecameworried.ShesaidIshouldfindOwenrightaway.Ask himto take us home. We were caught inthe openwhenthe fightingstarted. Albert was too frightened to move. Owenwas tellingme throughthe packbond to getindoors. Everywhere Ilooked was blocked, and Ididn’tknow whatto do. ButNoa Bishopdid,andsheaskeda…avampiretotakeustoLeo’sclinic.Thenshehelpedusthroughthepassage.Wewouldn’thave gottenfarwithouther ButtherewasfightinginAzultoo,andshetoldustostayinthepassagewhereitwassafe,andtowarn anyotherswhocamethrough.ThelastIsaw ofherwaswhensherantojointhefight.Shewastryingtohelp.That’sall she wasdoing,andAlbertandImightnothavesurvivedwithouther”
Inoticed the pinkstripe was backinCatrina’s hair Her chinlifted, as she said, “Noa Bishop saved me too, Alpha You shouldhaveseenher.”
Theyoungerboyssnickered,andCatrinaspunwithaglare gods,shewasalreadysolikeNoa “Iwas hurtand bleeding,” Catrina continued. “She gotme to the clinic and talked to me until Iwasn’tscared anymore. It wasn’t her fault that piggot me. She was gettingbandages, and she left the door openso I wouldn’t be alone, and whenI screamed,shewasrightthere,throwingthatthingoffme Iknewshewasscared ” Catrinatookabreath.“Scaredofit,butmoreaboutwhatshedidinfrontofme…withthescalpel.Inevergotthechanceto tellherIwasgladshekilledthatpig Iwouldhavedoneit,too Andwhenallofusinherpossedidn’thavethepinkstripesin ourhair,Iknowshethoughtitmeantwehatedher.Butourmomstoldustowashthepinkoutbecauseoftheritebeingasomber occasion So,ifyoucouldtellherforme ”
Mythroattightened.“Iwill.”
Catrina dropped her gaze to her feet, thenlooked up fiercelyand said, “Noa Bishop did nothingwrong. Everywolfhere wouldhavedonethesamethingwiththatpig Orwithhelpingpeople Sheshowedushowtobestrong,evenifwedon’thave wolvesyet,orifwe’retoooldandthinkwecan’tfight.”
Hanleystomped onthe ground, and Ilooked athimlongenoughfor Pawleyto dip his chintoward me and puta hand on Hanley’s knee. Iwaited for some other signofchallenge or discontent. Catrina’s mother hissed anorder to her daughter to returntoherseat;shequietedtheinstantImadeeyecontactwithher “YourdaughterdisplayedgreatcourageduringtheattackonAzul,”Iwarnedevenly.“Speakingouttodaywasalsoanactof couragethatIrespect”
BothFallonand Mace nodded their agreement. Catrina’s mother offered her apologies, while Catrina tipped her chinand scurried back to her seat before her blush became embarrassing. Murmurs rumbled through the pack. Some of the loudest voicescamefromthefrontrow,andlookingtowardtheelders,IheldMosbach’sgazeforthelongest. Herosetohisfeet.“IwishtoofferapologiesformybehaviorduringtheNightoftheBeacons.ButifImayspeak?”
The apologywas for show, and bynotaddressingme as Alpha, Mosbachmade his disrespectobvious. The elder would alwaysstrugglewithhisloyalty.I’dkilledhisnephew inanalphachallenge,achallengeMosbachhadencouraged.Thefight hadbeensavage,andhisnephewhadtakenalongtimetodie NeitherMosbachnorIwouldforgetit
“I’mcertainlysympathetic,”hesaid.“However,Iwonderhowyouconfirmedthewitch’sabusewhentheAlpenhavedenied involvement.Weknow nothingoftheattackingwolves,sincethedestroyedpackmarksconcealedtheir affiliations.Theyare also dead, with no way to defend themselves, and I cannot see how you determined who was responsible other than yourself.”
“I’msureyou’drather notexplainhow theenemygotthroughyour defenses Or how theyattackedtheGatheringafter you assured us securitywas inplace. It couldn’t be because your wards were at fault, or your spies, failingto gather accurate information. Your seconds were surelycapable ofthe job, and your dalliances shouldn’thave distracted youto the pointof negligence ButperhapsI’mwrong”
“We’velistenedtotherumors.”Mosbach’ssmileheldthecleardisdainIrememberedfromtheNightoftheBeacons when he believedIcouldn’ttouchhimsince he’dissuednochallenge.All he didthatnightwas intimidate Noa,frightenher and she’dbeenright,callinghimnothingmorethantherude,pudgylittlesnakethathewas.
The elder turned and raised his voice “You’ve heard the rumors, too How the raiders were after Noa Bishop and Laura Porter.”
Grumblingvoicesroseandfell Mosbachspreadhishandsearnestly “Andifthat’strue,thenaren’twesittingintheruinsofAzulbecauseGraysonDevanteisreckless?Heofferedsanctuaryto whatbelongs to the Alpen, two girls, one who escaped fromtheminSeattle, and the other who ranfromthemyears ago. If Halwyn,ortheotherdeadwolvescouldspeaktoday,they’dagreethatI’mrightandGraysonDevant’sdecisionshavealways beendisastrouslywrong.”
Butthepackwaswatching,andIsaid,“Stealingawolf enslavingher isindefensibleandagainstourlaw” “ButnotAlpen’slaw,afactyouunderstoodwhenyouadoptedbothfemalesintothepack.Youmadeusatarget.Protecting wolves with no connection to Sentinel Falls. Laura Porter, a wolf froma pack that no longer exists. Noa Bishop, a faille withoutapackmarkuntilyougaveherone PerhapsweshoulddiscussyouractionsinsteadofblamingtheAlpen” Thewolvesweresilent.LevihadmovedclosertoLaura,hisexpressiontense.Laurawaspale,butshesatstiffly,herchin raised Thewomensittingaroundherclosedranks,protective,glaringatanywolfwhodaredtolooktheirway Withmyelbowbentontheornatelypaddedarmrest,IproppedmychinagainstmyknucklesandstudiedMosbach.“Afterour previousconversation,Iexpectedatleastthepretenseofcivilityfromyou”
“How canyouprove the Alpenused the witch?” he challenged, turningto the crowd for either vindication… or support. “Howcananyoneknowwhohireddeadwolves?”
“Imightsurpriseyou,”Imurmured
“But ” Inhis zeal, the elder missed the shiftingmood of the pack, and mywarning. “Evenif bothfacts were true, any rightful Alpha of Sentinel Falls would put the packahead of his ownbase desires Find Noa Bishop Hand her and Laura PorterovertotheAlpen,andbedonewithit.”
“WhichtheAlpenbroke Ishouldn’thavetopointouttoyouthemanyinfractions TheytriedtokillLeotwoyearsago They went after Noa Bishop in Seattle and trapped Levi. As for the Gathering, the Alpen thought they’d killed everyone with knowledgeoftheirinvolvement.ButMacefoundonewolfwhowasstillaliveandeagertoconfesswhenIquestionedhim.”
WhichI’ddonewithease,becauseawolfwithoutapackmarkhadnodefenseagainstanalphalikeme I’dusedtheability all alphas had to search a wolf’s thoughts, his memories, and I’d searched with malice and deliberation, taking my time. DigginguntilI’duncoveredeverybitofuseful,sordidinformation
“Forgive me,” the elder mocked. “But myresponsibilityis to protect mypeople, not your decisions. What concerns you more? The needs ofthe packor your personal interestintwo females givenunusual privileges, placed incoveted positions demandingtrust,withonebeing ”
“Mypardons”Mosbachtwitchedwithmalice “Imeantnoinsult Weallunderstand failles cannothelpwhattheyare Butas elders, we are within the law to question leadership. Challenge the decisions that brought wreckage and death.” His gaze skatedbacktome “YoupromisedAzul wouldremainimmune fromattack Butwe sitinthe middle ofa disaster causedby yourpromises.”
Heflickedanimperioushand,motioningtowardagroupofmenstandingattheedgeofthecrowd.Theymarchedforward, dragging two women between them Jo-Rae Bell and Karla Asper They’d belonged to Mosbach’s clan before moving to Sentinel Falls.Macehadlecturedthemonpacketiquetteafter theyinsultedNoaandbulliedOscar.Thesamemorningwhen we’dfoundthecarnageatLeo’shouse,andI’dforcedNoaintothehighmountains.
The pack’s attention sharpened on the fretted breeze Both women were disagreeable troublemakers Jo-Rae Bell stood inches taller thanher friend Karla Asper, the female who’d used the worstslurs to insultNoa. They’d dressed inmodest clothes,longpantsandblousesbuttoneduptotheirthroats Jo-Rae’sredhairwasdrawntightagainstherheadinaknotather crown.Karla’smousybrownhairhunginalimpbraidthatbrushedhershoulders. Neitherwomannoddednorsomuchasloweredtheirgazesasthemalesdraggedthemtowardthedais.Karlaopenlyglared. “You’dthinkthey’dbemorerespectful,”Macemurmured,“consideringtheirelderjustcalledthemtraitors.”
Andconsideringthepunishment death.
WhichexplainedtheanticipationoozinglikethickoilfromMosbach.ProtocolwastoinformtheAlphainprivate.Toallow him or her to determine guilt. But byannouncingthe informationhimself, the elder circumvented the chainofcommand, bypassingmeasifIwasirrelevant
He’d also defied me withoutthe riskofblood. His blood. Attackinghimnow would anger the pack, since insults, while unsavory,didnotrisetothelevelofanalphachallenge
I scanned through the pack bond, catching fleeting thoughts from unsuspecting wolves. It wasn’t my custom to listen in uninvited ButcourtesywouldnotgivemeanadvantageinthisgameMosbachplayed WhileIcouldtapintothepack’smood, know their level ofconcern, approval or revulsionbecause Ihad the alpha’s privilege the elder had to go onexpressions alone.
KeelanRosshadbeenmyalphatoo untilheorderedmebackfromthefrontlines.Askedmetositathisbedsideduringhis lasthour He’d whispered his secrets Then, infrontofwitnesses, he held myhand, spoke the ritual words thatproved the poweroftheAlphahadalreadypassedtome.Andwhenthefinalwordfaded,thewolftattooappearedonmyskin,makingthe decisionirrevocable
I looked at the various elders, restive in their seats. Most were unwilling to give Mosbach their approval. But some remainedundecided.
Suchadangerousgameheplayed “Keelan warned me of threats coming from within the pack.” Mosbach preached to the crowd, his voice rising with conviction “Overthemonths,I’vecaughtdetailsothershaveignored IsentthesefemalestoSentinelFallsbecausetheywere untrustworthy.”
His tone dripped with regret while he spread his arms wide. “I submitted my reports. I confided in the alphas who disregardedmyopinions.AndIoffermydeepestapologiestothepackfornotexpressingmyconcernswhenIshouldhave,but Irespectedthealphas.Believedtheywouldfollowthrough.”
Hegesturedtowardthewatchingwolves amovementsmoothenoughtofoolthosewhodidnotseehimasIdid “Theerror was mine. If I’d come to you, revealed what I discovered, the deathand destructionmight never have occurred. Instead, I reliedonourthreealphas,hopingatleastoneofthemwouldhavegivenmywarningtheconcernitdeserved” Interestingthathechosetoattackallthreeofus.
Iglanced firstatFallon, who was scanningthe audience, her expressionunreadable. Hard lines creased Mace’s face. He sentaquickquestionthroughthepackbond alreadyastepaheadofme andIansweredwithasharpaffirmative.
“Ihavetheirwrittenconfessions.Allyouofferishearsayfromadeadman.Jo-RaeBelladmitstotalkingtotheAlpenabout the faille youallowedintothepack.KarlaAsperhasconfessedtobeingpaidforinformationonAzul.Alpenisourenemy,but yourfailingsareatfault Youleftusvulnerabletoattack Keepinga faille foryourpleasurewasdisrespectful,butexcluding wolvesfromAzul,whileyourfavoritescameandwentastheypleased,causednothingbutresentment.”
Istretchedonelegout,leaningback,curiousanddarklyentertainedbytheelder’sstrategy Mosbachhadputalotofthought intohismutiny.BypittingthosewhoknewaboutAzulagainstthosewhodidn’t,hecoulddividepackloyaltywhileprotecting himself Hehadconfessions,andthewomen,whostoodinfrontofeveryone AllIhadwasthewordofadeadman
The differences would incite wolves who remembered the rivals I’d had to kill. It opened the door to those who would challengemenow,soMosbachwouldn’tbeatrisk.Allhehadtodowaspushothersintherightdirection.Provideareasonto act Preyonpackemotionsandwatchwhilesomeoneelseendedupdead
Howeasytoconfrontmeinfrontoftheentirepack,putmydecisionsontrial,notthoseoftheenemy.He’dpre-plannedthis scenario, pushinga reaction. Tryingto force me into provingmyauthority. Narrowingmyoptions downto violence. Killing twowomeninfrontofapackthatwasalreadyuneasy AmanufacturedrepeatoftheferalthatI’dkilledinSentinelFalls Thatday, mywolfhad beenforced into attackinginfrontofchildren and there were childrenhere today. Manyofthem fromMosbach’smountainsettlement
Withoutraisingahandormovingfrommyposition,Isentawaveofdarkenergytowardthewoman,forcingmywayintoher mind, digging in like a scraping claw. Ripping back, inch by inch. Her legs trembled. Her spine arched, the muscles contracting.Agrimacetwistedhermouth.
Theycouldn’t,eveniftheydared.Theirfearmirroredhers,althoughitwasn’toverwhatIwoulddototraitors.Theyfeared whatI was doing infrontofthem Adarkabilitynone realized Ihad, or would wield witha lackofcompassion Anactof retribution,aimedatMosbachasmuchasthetwowomen…andIwasjuststarting.
Withalazyaggression,IpushedthroughKarla’smemories,uncoveringhergleeoverexposingAzultotheAlpen,andhow theattackersusedthatinformationtofindNoaandLaura.WhenIsentthoseimagesthroughthepackbond,everywolfpresent understood what had happened, how they’d been betrayed. And as their alarmcrested, I shifted my attention to Mosbach, pleasedwhenhisfacepaled.Perhapshefullyappreciatedthedanger.UnderstoodhowI’dgottenprooffromadyingman. He had no defense againstmymental intrusion. Icould stop his heartwitha thought. Asingle breath. No alpha challenge needed Nojustificationgiven
Apity, how his heart gave out… but expected at his age...
He would forfeit his positionif he refused a legal detail Mosbachforgot, or he wouldn’t have beenso zealous inthis publicchallenge
Iwouldnotbedoinghisdirtyworkforhim.
Mosbach’s mouth contorted He looked feeble as his hand shook It took two tries to rip Karla’s blouse, exposing her shoulder.Withswift,jerkingslashes,hedefacedthecrescentmoonenoughtomakeitunrecognizable,andasbloodrandown Karla’sarm,asshestifledhersobs,Isaid,“Nowtheotherone.Jo-RaeBell.”
Mosbachhesitated Isentanothersetofimagesthroughthepackbond,condemningthewoman’sbitterness Maybetosome, whatIdidwasn’tenough.Toothers,sufferingwasdifficulttowatch,althoughawolf’slifehadabrutalsideanditwasbetter tolearnyoung Thetoddlers didn’tunderstandwhatwas happening Afew mothersturnedtheir children’s facesaway More fathers stood withhands onthe shoulders ofthe pups, those eight years and older. Iimagined the lectures takingplace that evening,aboutpackloyaltyandwhyalphasenforcedtherules.
But even if these females had lied, betrayed, stewed in their hatred. Even if the penalty was death, I would not allow Mosbachoffthehookhe’dcreated.
“Aretheymated?”Iwaiteduntil twomensteppedforward,thensaid,“Thesentenceisexileinsteadofdeath Thewomen leavenow.Youmaygowiththemifyouwish.SeekmedicalattentioninPriestRiverbecauseIdoubtLeoBishopwillprovide it Takewhatpossessionsyouhave Iwon’tbreakyourpackaffiliations,butdonotreturnunlessitisalone”
Agamble,allowingthemtoleavewhiletheirtiestoSentinelFallsremainedinplace.ButI’dsearchedtheirminds;bothmen hadbeenunawareofthetreachery,andIwouldn’tmanipulatethem,thewayI’dmanipulatedKarla Instead,I’drisktheirfree will, since the packunderstood myoffer. Beingexiled witha defaced packmarkmeant a miserable life. It meant constant dangerfromotherwolves,andalackofpackresources.Buttheywouldbealive,andtheirmateswouldofferthemsomesafety andfinancialsupport Acompromise,whensomewithinthepackwouldhaveconflictingloyalties
But the men surprised me. Producing their own knives, they sliced through the mate marks on each woman’s wrist. A lightning-swift,brutalending Then,withanodtome,toMaceandFallon,eachmanreturnedtotheaudience althoughthey didnotsitbehindMosbach.
Ifounditcuriousthattheelderdidnothavehisownsettlement’sfullsupport Butthebetrayalofthewomendidn’trisetothe same level as a traitor on the battlefield. Jo-Rae Bell acted with emotion, pain, while Karla reacted out of spite. She’d deserved to be drivento her knees. ButwhenI’d held her inthrall, sentthe images throughthe packbond, I’d alarmed the wolvesforadifferentreason
I’drevealedapowerevenanalphashouldn’thave,andwhileI’dwonthecurrentconfrontation,I’dhandedMosbach and anyelderslikehim theopeningtheyneeded
Recklessenoughtofacecertaindeathbecause,inthemoodgrippingme,someonewoulddie Tensionsimmered. Minutes passed while I waited and hoped no one would be goaded toward a senseless deaththrough emotionalone
But no one moved, and without another word, I stood and left the dais, endingthe meeting. I had nothingmore to sayto Mosbach,atleastnotinpublic.ButasIwalkeddowntheaisle,achildwriggledfreefromhismother.Dashingtowardme,he skiddedtoahalt,hisshoeslockingtoe-to-toewithmyboots.Iguessedhewasfive,perhapssixyearsold,dressedinhisfinest, althoughthegrassstainsmudgedonatantrouserkneetoldmehe’dbeenimpatient.
In his hand, he clutched a fistful of crooked stems with the wildflowers dipping down The muscles around my eyes tightened.Idroppedtooneknee,downtohislevel,meetinghimface-to-face.“What’syourname,youngwolf?”
“CharlieCurra,sir.”
“Well met, Charlie Curra” Itookthe flowers and watched as he scampered backto his worried mother ThenIstared at whatIgrippedinmyhand.TheywerelikeNoa’swildflowers,theonesshepickedforLeo,rippedfromtheground. Foralongheartbeat,thenasecondbeat,IwonderedifI’deveragainfeeltheflickerfromherwolfrune,tellingmeshewas safe.Hearhercallme bastard witheverystompingstepshetook,knowingIwaslistening.
Forthespaceofaheartbeat,Iwonderedattheoddityofsunlightinapassage.Thenthedoubtdrifted.Rainbow-coloredmist fromthe waterfall’s veil dampened the air. The waterfall spilled over rocks, gurglinginto a pool where pink-spotted frogs croakedfrombetweenthelilypads Whentiny,wispyspritesemergedfromthefoliage,Ilaughedattheirmanycolors,atthe waytheyswirledanddanced.Iwantedtojointhem,extendmyarms,waitforthetickleoftheirwingsastheyglidedacrossmy palms andashudderpassedthroughmeattherecognition
Iwas inmynightmare, the one I’d had months ago atGrayson’s watchtower house, whenI’d beenrecoveringfromworm poison. I’d dreamed the nightafter he caughtme outofbed. The momenthad beensurreal. I’d talked to his wolf, saw him separatefromtheman,andinthefurious aftermath,I’ddreamedofaplacelikethis,withthelilypads andsprites.Until the dreamchanged,turnedfrightening.
Afeathered, gold-and-orange bird perched inher hair evenmore peculiar whenthe strange creature tipped its head and blinked.
“Consort to the Dread Lord, ” the womanintoned again, althoughher mouthtwitched before she clapped her hands. “Oh, I’vealwayswantedtosaythat didIscareyou,dear?”
GoldbraceletsjangledonherwristswhileImoistenedmydrylips.Thecurly-wingedbirdchirped,thenflittedaway. The woman’s laughtrilled as she said, “YouthinkI’mmysister” Thenher shoulders shimmied into a shudder “Horrible woman Metis.SheslandersFeeallthetime,sayshe’sbattyasanoldcoot.Akingwithnothroneorsomedribblelikethat.” “Fee?”
“Fee well,ofcourse.Henevertoldyouhisname,didhe?”Sheblinkedthewaythebirdblinked.“FeeisFelix,theKingof theForest,whomyou lovetocalltheGreenMan,whichmakes me thinkofmoldycheese.” “Excuseme,”Imanaged,“butwhoareyou?”
“Innightmares,”Isaid “Yes… well, Imayhave misjudged. Ithoughta familiar image would be comforting. Iforgotaboutthe mud and all those creepy, biteythings Come Hurry” She curled her long-fingered hand the waythe nymph Nia had done atthe Gathering “Wedon’twanthimplunginginhereandspoilingallthefun.”
Perhaps Fee the Kingofthe Forest wasn’tthe onlyone a little batty, althoughAine’s manner was endearing, how she wrappedherselfinendlessinnerdialogsthatkeptourconversationjumpingfromsubjecttosubject Iwantedtosteerherback tothewomanwhomightfindus,sinceitwasn’tGrayson thedreadedDreadLordtothenymphs.Metiscalledhimthesame thing Saidhewasworse
As we walked, Aine’s gownfluttered like autumnleaves ina breeze, eventhoughthe balmytemperature reminded me of spring. Myheartraced eachtime Aine turned, leadingme througha twistymaze made ofleafyshrubs thattowered over my head.I’dneverfindmywayoutifIwantedtoleave,notwiththeturnsanddeadends.
“Metis thatoldseawitch,”Ainesaid.“Althoughsheloveswater,soIdoubtshe’llcomehere.No,she’llsendthoselittle fishes who swimbackand tell her everything Idetestanythingwetunless it’s rainor a sparklingstream Theytell me you werekindtothatblack-hairedrivernymph,Lorriel.Youshouldbecarefularoundthem.Mysisterhasspieseverywhere.And I’msureshe’llbeangryoncesheknowsyou’rehere”
“Ourlittlewrinkleintheworld.That’stherealskyoverhead.Theairisthesame.Maybetheplantsareataddifferent,the creatureswholivehere.You’llmeetEffainamoment.She’llbeyourcompanion.Helpyougetsettled.Wehavealibraryanda meditationgarden.Caerwengives awonderful massage.Youshouldaskher tocomeseeyou youlookalittlestiff.Iknew your mother she was stifftoo, so Idoubtshe would have told you The bookyoufound inthe cave was one Igave her I thoughtshecouldreadit,butshecouldn’t.Noneoftheother failles havebeenabletofigureitouteither.Notincenturies.”
Other failles? In centuries?
“No failles here now,other thanyou,” Aine continued.“You’re quite rare.We findone everyfew generations,andnotall wanttostay.”
She fell silent, as did I, while the tinklingwater inthe fountaincontinued withanunchangingrhythm Ripples spreading across the pool had a perfectsymmetry. WhenIlooked downatmyemptyhand, Icould have swornI’d passed throughthe magicwithmybow,butitwasnowheretobeseen ThenIchewedonmylip,presseddownonthesorespot Therewasno pain.
Asalasttest,Ipickedaflowerfromanearbybush.Thepetalsremainedsupplebetweenmyfingers,whichmeantAinehad deliberatelycrushedtheflowersshe’dplucked Perhapsasignofanger,oranothertraitofnymphs Oblivioustotheirstrength Cautiously, Iinhaled the fragrance, sweet like honeysuckle… but the minute Ithought ofroses, the scent changed. ThenI thoughtofpinetrees Thescentshiftedagain,andIwrinkledmynose “Thisislovely,”Isaid,asifI’dnoticednothingstrange.
“Well,whenyoufirstarrive,time is more like whatyou’re usedto.Butthe longer youstayinthe wrinkle,the faster time movesontheoutside,andifyouwaitlongenough,everyoneyouknowwillbedeadwhenyougoback.”
Iflinched
Her mouthformedaperfectpout.“ThereIgoagain.Forgiveme.Idon’tmeantohurt,butwhodoesn’twantthechanceto startover?Makebetterchoices?It’sworththinkingabout”
“A pity if the building was damaged.” Aine’s smile was quick and tight-lipped, as if she knew I knew the book was indestructibleandhadliedaboutit “Wecanalwayshopeforamiracle Ah heresheis Effa comeandmeetNoa” The Queenofthe Forestclapped her hands withenoughinnocentexcitementto make me doubtmycaution. Perhaps Iwas seeingnormalnymphexpressions,butthinkinginhumanterms,becausewhensheturned,herfaceglowedwiththewarmthofa settingsummersun.
“Istayfar awayfromthatone” The nymphsmoothed her clothes she wore a style I’d never seenbefore and could not describeotherthanitwasaballetdressfashionedoutofgreenleaves,andawhiteruffcollarthatmadeherheadlooklikeit wasthecenterofaflower.
“Whatyoushouldknow aboutAine,”Effacontinued,“isthewayshehandlesmagic.Like…ifyouthinkofmagicasfood, Aine is pickyaboutwhatshe eats, while Metis consumes everything, bones and all. Remember that, iftheyever askyouto dinner”
I thought of the warningMetis gave me, about beinginvited bya friend to a blood feast. Thenmythroat tightened when Grayson’steasinganswerflashedthroughmymind
“I’d never invite you to a secret blood feast, Noa. I’d order you to go. ”
Whatdidhethinkofhisweaponnow?IwasnousetohimwhereIwas,orthe way Iwas.Graysonunderstoodmebetterthan anyone HehadhealedmybruisedbodywhenIneededit,buthecouldn’thealthedark,feralthingI’dbecome,andeverytimeI wokescreamingandcoveredinsweat,IknewIwasbroken.He’dneverbeabletohealthatpartofme.
“Goingleftor right.” Effa bentto toucha small butterflythatflitted away. I’d never seena color like thatona butterfly’s wings darkpurpleandglitteringsilver
As iftoprovethepoint,sheledmealongagravel path.Our shoes crunchedinunison.Theair turnedfragrantwithforest scents earthy, piney refreshing after the heady floral garden I glanced to the side, and in the shade from tall trees, I recognizedthepurplemushroomwaterfallI’dadmiredduringthefirsthiketotheoldwatchtower.Monthsago,now.Aliving waterfall tumbling over a moss-covered slope, made up of hundreds of delicate mushrooms, all shades of white, pink,
lavender
Thedomedmushroomcapstouchedattheedges,andI’dthoughtofamoboffaerieshidingbeneaththeirumbrellas.All of themscurryinginthe same direction Never seeingwho was nextto them Until Graysonhiked alongthe path Then, they’d turned inunison, honoringthe Alpha ofSentinel Falls as he walked past before ripplingina pinkwave, movingbackinto place
Effa hopped, birdlike, as she entered the cave Her feet left indents in the sand, and after a heartbeat, then another, I followed,mutewhilesherattledonaboutthewhat-and-that shehadsuchapeculiarwaywithdescription,andIwonderedat hercheerytone,assillyastheclothesshewore.Wonderedatthemagic.
Atthebrief,sharpflareofhopeIhated.
I followed the rock passage, knowing it would turn and widen into a cavern with pale mushrooms covering the walls, ebbing,flowingwithasoftbluelightthatbrightenedasweentered
ThestonesaroundthefireringwereexactlythewayGraysonleftthem,withonestoneoutofplace;he’dkickeditwhenhe’d stood There theenameledpotheusedfortheteawaited,filledwithwaterandreadyforuse Andhere wherethesandstill boretheimprintofhisbody.Istared,rememberinghowhe’dloungedlikeawaiting,predatorycat,watchingme.
My hand drifted, my fingers pressing against the inked wolf on my wrist. But no warmth remained because, somehow, comingintothiswrinklehadbrokentheconnection ForareasonIcouldn’texplain,Iwantedtocry. Effawrappedherarmsfrombehind,herwarmthrevealinghowchilledI’dbecome. “Themagicsucks,”Ichokedout “Isittoomuch?”
After ventingmyfrustration, the magic wentto work. Ilistened to the tortured sound ofgrindingrocks, thenthe meadow nymphwalkedmethroughanotherdoor,outofthecaveandintoaperfectreplicaofmyhouseinAzul
Sunlightstreamedthroughthefloor-to-ceilingwindows;beyondwastheviewthatalwayscaughtmybreath,thehillsandthe azurelake.Wildlifephotographshungonthewalls,myphotographs,theonesLaurahadframed.Thetableinthediningroom was whereI’dsharedameal withHattieandOscar.Leohadbeenthere.Maceacross fromFallon.Grayson thatday,he’d givenmeagiftInever expected,confrontingmystepfather,defendingbothmymother andme.He’dthreatenedthemanwho abusedusandprovedhemeantitwhenhe’dsaid: blood in, blood out Iwaspackbybirthright.
I’d never come closer to havinga normal familythanthat night, and perhaps the magic recreated the memorybecause it wouldcomfortme.Eachchairwasinplace,asifexpectingguestsforanothermeal,eventhechairGraysonused;itwasstillat theheadofthetable.He’dloungedthere,leaningback,hisindulgentsmilenotquitehidingtheloneliness.
AfterEffaleft,Itriedtosettlein,findingittooeasytobelievenothinghadchangedandIwasstillathomeinAzul.WhenI entered the bedroom, the rumpled bed was the same as I’d left it that morning. Inthe bathroom, a mere thought had water gushingintotheelegantmarbletub Steamfoggedtheair Flowersfloatedinthewaterandthetowelswerefluffedandheated Iknew thateveryflowing, gorgeous dress hanginginthe closetwould fit. I’d lookbeautiful, or elegant. Whatever style I wantedandwheneverIwantedit Eventhecasualclothesmimickedoldfavorites
Butmymotherhadknownofthiswrinkle.Howthemagicwouldsoothetheacheofseparation.Andshe’dbeensmartenough tosee itas the lure itwas, the faille’s delusions, wrapped up inluxuryand fondness and longing, usingmemoryand notthe darktotrapme.
ImademyselfrememberthatwhenItriedtosleepinabedsofterthanacloud.WhenIlookedtowardthehalf-filledwater glass sitting on the nightstand, in the exact place where I’d left it Beside the glass were the wildflowers I’d picked for Halwyn’srite,thenleftbehindbecauseIcouldn’tthinkaboutHalwynoranyoftheotherswithoutcrying.
Theflowerslookedwiltedenoughtoremindmethatnoteverythinginthewrinklethrived Andasthehourspassed,thenthe days whatbecamehardwasdealingwithmagicthatmeteverydemand.I’dneverpreparedmyselfforfoodappearingonthe tablewheneverIwashungry MusicdriftedthroughhiddenspeakersthemomentIdislikedthesilence Itoldmyselftherewasabenefit.Themagicwouldcontroltheuncontrollable,givemewhatIwantedwithouttherisk.And perhapsthiswasabetterendingforme.Safer.
ButHattie and Oscar weren’tthere, and itmade me angryenoughto change the memory. Ithoughtaboutcold cereal, and standingatthecountereatingbecausetheonekitchenchairIhadinmySeattleapartmentrockedontheunevenfloor
Andthe almost inthatmemorywasshredding Alongwiththesamenessinthiswrinkle,wherethelakewaterlapped,andthe birdssangonrepeat.Wherethegrasslookeddewybutneverdampenedmyfeet.
Magic is an illusion, Noa Like the images through your camera lens And believing the illusion is as pointless as wishing at midnight, with no one to hear but the restless wind.
Iwas likeashabbysweater frayingattheedges,lostandsmall,tooafraidtowonder abouttheoutside,tothinkaboutthe livesgoingonwithoutme.Orworryabouthowlongbeforethewolvesforgotme. Beforetheyalldiedofoldage,and no one wouldeverremember.
Effa arrived while I was standing on the dock It was well past noon, but I still gripped the coffee that had gone cold Beneathmyclenchedfingers,thecroissantwasacollapsedmess.Ibrushedoffherconcerns,toldherIwasthinking,andlost trackoftime
I hated them. Instantly, they disappeared, and the suffocation in having every idea materialize edged a little closer to unbearable If Effa hadn’t been holding my arm, I would have kept walking, past the house, back through the flawless, manicuredgardens,searchingforawayout.
Instead, I allowed her to lead me inside like aninvalid, thento the chairs and the table where lemonade waited And I wonderedifthatwasn’tamagicalapologyforthewildflowers,becauseIhadn’tthoughtaboutlemonadesinceIwasten.
“Youget used to it after a while,” Effa said. “The waythings appear out of nothing. It’s a little fish-eyed until youstop noticing”
As the nymphfilledour glasses,Ilistenedtothe sloshingwaterfall ofcrushedice andlemonade,searchingfor a memory. ButwhenEffaslidaglasstowardme,allIaskedwas,“Doyouhaveameadowhere?”
“Icanunderstand that” Her red-blackcurls bobbed like funnylittle corkscrew stems “Butwhenever yourun, youleave nothingbehind.Allyoudoisblindyourselftowhat’sdragginginthedust.”
Mygazedriftedtowardtheframedphotographshangingonthewalls Mycamerasatonatable Abovewastheemptyrack for mybow everythingwas flawless, exactlyas I remembered. I could almost believe this was reality, and if I imagined myselfashappy,themagicwouldmakeitso.
Andwhatofthehairy,yellow-tuskedpigsI’dleftdyingintheopenmeadows?HadIsummonedthem?Orhadsomeoneelse sentthemtome?Beforetheriteheldforthedead,I’dbeendreamingofthemonsters Ihadn’tdreamed since cominghere butthatbriefthoughtwas enoughto summonthe nightmares, and Iwoke thatnight, sweat-drenchedandscreamingaspigsracedthroughthebedroomdoorway,thendisappearedlikepuffballsinthewind
After that, Icouldn’t sleep ina cloud-soft bed, and Idragged a blanket fromthe closet, walked throughthe silent house, downthe hall to the door thatled to Grayson’s cave. Mushrooms glowed like a nightlight, keepingthe monsters away, and whenIcurledonthesand,wrappedinmyblanketcocoon,Istaredatthefiregutteringinembersthatneverburnedtoash.
In the silence, the loneliness, I waited, hoping for the sound of his breathing. His voice. I heard nothing, other than the poppingsparksleapingfromthefire
Whenwater inthe green-enameled pot beganto boil, steamrose like curls of ribboninthe air, but without the scent of Grayson’sspicytea AndwhenImissed him,themagicsummonedhisreekingshirt Buttheshirtheldnoreek,nowarmth,and IrealizedthatwhileIwishedforthememories,onlythetastesandscentsexistinginthiswrinklewerereal. WhatIremembered,orimagined,wouldremaintasteless.Scentless.
The beautiful lure, Noa Forgetting what you left behind ButIcontinuedtosleepinthecave,andwhenImissedHattieandOscar.LeviorLaura.Leo.WhenthethrillontheNightof theBeaconsbecametoohardtorecall Iwouldwish Andthemagicwouldwipethemushroomsawayandprojectimageson the cave walls. Faces of those I loved. People hugging, laughing, sharing tea. The beacon lights, flickering fromhilltops, flamingwiththestars
Other times, I remembered what it was like to belong, before realizing belonging had been impossible. Because not belonging wasthewayI’dalwaysbeen.Likebeingnothuman,notwolf.Wanderingwithnoplacetocallhome.Thosewere thenightswhenIclosedmyeyesandwishedfornothing ButthereweredayswhenItalkedtothemagiclikeafriend.
“How are you today? Know any good jokes, magic? No?”
Caerwen,Effamurmured.She’donceguardedasacredgrottoinWales,destroyedlongago,duringabattlelosttothemists oftime She’d moved fromwrinkle to wrinkle over the centuries, and as Istretched outonthe bed, waitingfor Caerwento beginthemassageEffainsistedIneeded,Ithoughtthegrottonymphwasawarning ofwhatcouldhappenifIstayedheretoo long I’dbecome like Caerwen,little more thana shadow incertainlight,or the flutter ofa passingbirdinflight.Acaress that wasnothingmorethanbreath
“Your giftsareconsiderable,”shemurmured “Failles draw the life force fromeverything The rocks,trees,water Living beings.WhatIamdoingiswhatyoudowithsilentwolves.Somethinggoeswrongforthesilentwolf,andifhecannotrelease excessenergy,itbuildsuptoadangerouslevel Itisthesameforyou Energybuildsuntilitbecomesvolatile,andwhileyou canhelpeasethesilentwolf,youcannothelpyourself.Youneedsomeoneelsetodoitforyou.”
TensionwhippedbackintomybodyandIjolteduprightonthemassagetable,ignoringmynudity Thenymphhadbroughtthe table into Grayson’s cave, since Iseldomleft, and Isupposed Ilooked frackywithmyhair indisarrayand mycollarbones pressingwhitelyagainstthinningskin I’d lostmuscle tone No one remarked aboutitbecause the mushrooms keptthe light low.
Whenheatflowedintomyhands,Iwassyphoningenergy,whatI’ddoneforthesilentwolves.Butalso,I’ddoneittothepig inAzul the firstone thatdeflatedintomushbeneathmyclawingfingers.Andthe second,the one I’dleftunrecognizable in Leo’sclinic,whenI’dmeltedthescalpel
IfIcouldn’tlearntolimitwhatIabsorbed,andthenreleaseitsafely,Iwouldbecomelikemymother,slippingdeeperinto theheadaches,thedelusions,finallylosingmyselfinthedarkdepthsofmymind.TheonefearI’dalwayshadabovedying.The fear Grayson had used to gain my cooperation, months ago But my mother had been both right and wrong about avoiding wolves thedangerwasn’tinbeingexposedtotoomuchwolfenergy,butinnotknowinghowtoreleasethepressure. TearsstungmyeyeslongafterCaerwenleft,andIgazedattheembers,losingmyselfinthefire’ssoftglow Ithoughtofthe manytimesI’dresentedmymother’sweakness,whenIhadtobestrongforher.Howshe’dsaidIshouldnotaskquestionsshe wouldn’tanswer
SomuchofwhatI’dbelievedaboutmymotherhadbeenwrong.Iwasashamed,andwishednowthatshe’dhadthechanceto learnwhatIwaslearning.Shemightnothavesuffered,ifshe’dknown. Butthetruthremainedhiddeninthiswrinkle,andshehadn’twanted no,becauseofme,sherefusedtostayhere Ihadnodoubtnow thatmymotherhidAine’sbook,alongwiththetarnishednecklace,sothatI’dfinditoneday.Learnto readit andthethoughttrembledlikeadewdropattheedgeofaleaf had she found a way to read it? Wasthatwhyshe’dbeensodesperatewhenStewartburiedthebookinthebackyard?
No answers, Noa Not yet Timepassed.Caerwentaughtme more aboutthe energy.How tosense the ebbandflow anduse it,letthe pressure build, thenreleaseitwithoutdestroyingmyself.IblewupafootofsandthefirsttimeItried,coatingusingrit. Itriedagaininthebathandsoakedtheentireroom WhenIpeltedthecavewiththeremnantsofanexplodingrock,Idoubted ifI’deverfigureitout.
But Caerwenthought myskill was improving Thenshe would runher hands alongthe runes Graysoninked onmyskin, pullingthetensionfrommybody.WhenIasked,shesaidotherscouldeasethepressureforme.ButwhenIaskedwhothose otherswere,sheflutteredasifshewoulddisappear,andIdebatedwhetheritwasbecauseshewouldn’ttellme…orbecauseI wasn’treadytohearwhatshewouldsay.
“Somesaythedreadlordsweredrivenbyhate,”Caerwensaid “Otherssaiditwasambition,athirstforpower Afaille and adreadlordfueledeachother heusedtheenergyshesyphoned and failles werecovetedfor thisreason.Wolveswentto warovergirlswhohadthesilverstreaksintheirhair,bynatureandnotbythecurse” “Itwasrare,”Effasaid,“forthedreadlordstofindauthentic failles. ” “Whentheydid?”
Caerwensaid, “The dread lord and faille became mirrors ofeachother, lightagainstdark. Theygrew stronger and more destructive. The dread lords were known for devastation, but the faille learned to ruin just as easily. Together, they were balanced Heeasedthepressurebuildinginher Shecalmedhis demons Butwhentheywereatodds,thedreadlordwould mis-usethe faille,refusetosyphonherexcessenergyuntilshelostcontrolandbecamehisweapon.”
She drew a half-circle inthe sand.“Butonce his sigil was onher skin,he coulddemandher promise inreturn.Andifhe demandedprotection,orifsheofferedthesametohimandheaccepted ”
Caerwendrew the other halfofthe circle. “She, too, would have no choice. The circle would close. Fate would lockin place,andtheywereforeverbound Itwouldnotmatteriftheylovedorhatedeachother ThiswaswhattheKingoftheForest decreedas paymentfor sins ofthe kings andthe queens.Thatthe dreadlordwouldrepair whatthe kings destroyed,andthe failles wouldlearnwhatthequeensdidnot compassion.Andlove.”
“The nightyouasked for the GreenMan’s runes,” she said “Awheel beganto turn He had to inkthis sigil onyour skin, drawthefirsthalfofthecircle.Now,fatewaitsforyou.”
“Manyhavecomeandgone,lady,”shesaidkindly “Thepretenders Theoneswhowantedthegift Thosewhotriedtogive or receive this markand failed. He is a dread lord, because his sigil remains onyour skinand onlya king’s sincankeep it there. Youare a faille. Your abilities are emerging. Strengtheningbybeingaround him. The things you’ve beenable to do frightenyou,confuseyou butyoucannotforgetwhathappenedinacavelikethis,thenightwhenheinkedtherunesonyour skin.Andyoualreadyknowthetruth.”
Maybe we were pretenders after all, and I’d broken the sigil. Ended our bargain by coming into the wrinkle, the way Graysonofferedtocutthroughtherune suchasimpleending.
