For a religion that lauded itself on forgiveness, Christianity sure was violent. Just take their most well-known symbol: a crucifix.Andnotonlythat,butacrucifixwithJesus,God’sallegedsonbegottenbyamysticalencounterwithavirgin,nailed toit Hisheadhanginglow,hisbodythinandgaunt;theyneverstrayawayfromhowterribleJesussupposedlylookedbefore hisdeath.
Ofcourse,hedidn’tstaydead,butthat’sbesidethepoint
Whether or not he knew he’d stay dead didn’t matter. He sacrificed himself to save humanity. Sure, there might be somethingtoapplaudfor that,butgoingbacktothereligionitself: whysoviolent?Shouldn’treligionbeanescapefromthe alreadyviolentworldwealllivedin?
I was a daughter of a self-made mafia king, so I knew all about the violence this world contained. The true depths of mankind’sgreedandsickhunger
Violence.Italwayscamedowntoviolence,onewayoranother.Jesuswasproofofthat.Iwas,too.Iguesswhenhumanity was involved, askingfor non-violence was simplyaskingfor too much. We, as a species, were vicious and vile, angryand self-absorbed Hateful
“What’sonyourmind,child?”FatherCharlie’svoiceenteredmyhead,snappingmebackintoreality Hemust’vefinished witheveryoneelse,becausehewasintheprocessofsittingdownbesideme.Hegroanedashesatinthewoodenpew with me,gatheringuphisrobessohedidnotaccidentallytouchmewiththem
Ididnottearmyeyesoffthecrossinfront.Icouldn’t.IstaredhardatthestatueofacrucifiedJesusasIthoughtaboutthe violence and the hate;everythingreligionstood against, itseemed its followers contained indroves. How manywars were startedthroughouthistorybecauseofonereligionoranother?
FatherCharliewasquietforawhile.He’dtoldmeinthepastherememberedmymother,butweneverreallyspokeabout her Ididn’tknowifshesimplycametomassandwenttoconfessionalseveryweek,oriftheyspokebeyondthat
After all, ifshe would’ve left, maybe she could’ve takenme withher. Surelyshe could’ve gone somewhere, anywhere, whereitwould’vebeentoomuchofahassleformyfathertotrackusdownanddragusbacktohim
Maybe she’d still be alive. Maybe I could’ve had a normal life. Maybe a forty-something-year-old manwouldn’t have takenmyvirginityandmademedreadthethoughtofeverhavingahusbandofmyown.
Father Charliewasslow insaying,“FromwhatIrecall,shedidn’thavefamilyother thanyour father.She…didn’thave anywhereelsetogo.Shewantedagoodlifeforyou,andshebelievedyourfather’smoneywouldprovideit.”
Ashespoke,asIgazedintohiseyes,IsworeIsawthecornersgrowwatery.Theemotioninhisvoicealmostmademetear up andIhadnoideawhy ButIwasstartingtounderstandwhymymother cameheresooften Itwasn’tthereligionor the services.No.
“Everyone is worth saving, child, even you.” Father Charlie almost stood, but he hesitated, and even though I wasn’t lookingathim,Icouldfeel his wizenedeyes onme.“Especiallyyou.” Andthenhe gotupandwanderedoff,totake offhis robesandcleanupafterthemass
Damian or Atlas, I supposed wanted my help in taking my father down My father, who’d hired some Greenback SerpentstokillFatherCharlieandransackthechurch.Myfather,who’drapedmeandleftmefordead,thinkingtheSerpents weregoingtokillmethemomenttheylaidtheirhandsonme.
No, not myfather, because myreal father was dead. Miguel. Miguel fuckingSantos was not myfather. He never was. Everythinginmylifehadbeenalie,andI’dneverquestionedit.
Apriest who’d had anaffair witha younger, married woman. Somethinglike that went against everythinghe stood for, didn’tit?Andyet andyet,evenwiththatsin,hewasstillthebestmanI’devermet I wished I would’ve had more time with him. I wished I would’ve known. I wished… God, I wished everything was different,thatmymother wasstill aliveandthatFather Charliewas,too Iwishedwecould’vebeenafamily,areal family, insteadofthelieswelived.
Myhandscurledintofists,myfingernailsdiggingintomypalmssohardtheymight’vebrokentheskin.Icouldn’tfeelit.I couldn’tfeel anythingexceptanoverwhelminghatredfor one man,the verysame manwhowas the reasonmyparents were dead.
And thenthey’d getthe Palmers ontheir side, withwhatever other dirtMiguel had dugup onthe Hand. They’d stage a coup,atakeover,andMiguelwouldonlystopwhenhebootedAtticusJamesonfromtheHand,alongwithShay,sohecouldsit atthetop.
ToobadforthatassholeIwasn’tdead
Myfistsshook,andIdroppedthemtomysides.Therewasnoshampoohere,nosoapforme;itwasclearDamianwasn’t actuallylivinghere while intown.He’dtoldme he’dsenda few ofhis guys outfor food and everythingelse I’d need here whileweplanned.
Ishutthewater offandsteppedout,gettingwater all over thefloor sincetherewas notowel or rug.Imovedbeforethe vanity,andonceIstoodthere,Ireachedforthemirror,wipingoffthesteamfromthereflectivesurface
ThefacethatstaredbackatmewasthefaceI’dgrownaccustomedtoseeing:pretty,flawless,morelikemymotherthanmy father… because myfather wasn’t reallymyfather. I could see it now. Miguel’s eyes were pitch-black, the darkest brown imaginable.Mineweremoreofanambercolor,lighterandwarmer,moreakintoFatherCharlie’s.
I couldn’t evenbrushmyhair. I probablylooked like a drowned rat whenI walked out of that bathroom, but it was a necessarypauseontheconversationDamianandIwerehaving.IneededtowashoffthefeelingofMiguel’s hands onme alongwithotherpartsofhim
That might’ve made me blush before, but now? Now I simply held his stare and rattled off my sizes. Pants, shirts, underwear,andbras Damiannevertookhiseyesoffme,andhisgrinonlydeepenedonceIfinished
Alow chuckle escaped him, and he tapped the table betweenus. “Damianis fine. Youunderstand the whole Atlas thing needstobekeptontheDL,right?Noonecanknow,exceptyouandme.”
“Ezekiel,” Imurmured, rememberingwhat he’d shownme beneaththe church, and thenwhat he’d shownme before the altar.Hisbareback.Allthosescars.Thetruthofhismonster.EzekielandIweremorealikethatIcould’veeverknown. Iguesssleepingwithamanoftheclothwassomethingthatraninmyfamily.Likemother,likedaughter.
“FatherEzekiel Isthatreallyhisname?Soundsoff”
“It’shisname.”Ispokethatpartalittletooquickly,becausetheglimmerinDamian’seyesflickeredwithamusementafter that
“Don’ttellmeyou’vegotacrushontheman.Heisamanofthecloth,youknow.Although,apparentlypriestshavedicks, ifwhatyousaidistrue.Whoknew?Iguesseverymanhasurges.Plus,ourFatherEzekiel is akiller,so ”
“Hekilledthosemenforme,”Itoldhim.“DonotgoafterEzekiel.Ifyoumustgetyourpoundofflesh,youcangetitfrom me afterwetakedownMiguel.”IwouldnotletDamiansicanyoneonEzekiel,especiallywhenwhatIsaidwastrue:itwas allforme
“Don’t say that, baby girl. Love is universal. Good men, bad men, men of the cloth we’re all capable of that pesky feeling”Damianstaredatmefor abitbeforeadding,“Don’tworryyour prettylittlehead Iwon’thavethepriestkilledfor whathedid.Youhavemyword.”
Itshouldmakemefeel better,hearinghimsaythat,butitdidn’t Iwasastrangemixtureoffeelingsrightnow,anduntil I hadsomeextendedtimealone,IfearedI’dbeamess.
“So,” he abruptlychanged the subject, “let’s discuss Miguel Igotsome eyes onhim, buttheycan’tshadow himall the time.Doyouknowanythingwemightbeabletouseagainstdearoldex-daddy?”
“MiguelisteamingupwithRoccoMoretti,”Isaid,earningmyselfaglimmerofamusementfromDamian.Ididn’tknowif heknewthisornot,soIkeptgoing,“TheythinkNixonHawkeisn’tarealHawke,thathe’sAtticus’ssonfromanoldaffair I talkedtoShayaboutit,andshedidn’tseemsurprised,whichmeans ”
“It’s true,” Damianspoke witha nod. “And thatmeans two spots will openup onthe Hand once the Palmers find out. I assumeex-daddywantsthosespotsforhimselfandRocco Makessense WhatIdon’tgetiswhyyouhadtogetengagedtothat Lucaboy.”
Luca LucaMoretti TheoneheiroutofeveryotherheirIshouldfeelnothingtoward IguessDamianwasright:thatpesky love didn’t care who youwere or whyit shouldn’t exist. Whenit happened, it happened, and there’s nothingyoucould do aboutit.
“My ” It took everything in me to stop myself from saying my father when I was talking about Miguel. Old habits. “MiguelwantedmetobeinmiserysinceIwasn’thisrealdaughter.”
“And why would engaging you to Luca Moretti make you miserable? Besides being stuck with a husband you didn’t want?”
This particular secret I’d told others before, recently too The men who’d taken a piece of my heart in spite of how fracturedandblackitwas.Isupposedtherewasnothingholdingmebackfromthistruthnow.
Thatmustn’thavebeenwhatDamianwasexpecting,becauseamuscleonhisjawtwitched,andittookhimfartoolongto say,“Hedidwhatnow?”Hisvoicecameoutdifferent,lowerthannormal,rougher,likeaglimpseofthetruegangleaderhe was
“Fucking bastard.” It was Damian’s turn to lean back in his chair. “So that’s why you like wearing those gloves. That fuckingasshole How the fuckcould he do thatto his own ” He seemed to realize whathe was saying, because his chest hummedoutagrowlofasound.“Heknewthenyouweren’thisdaughter.”
“Yeah,”Iwhispered.“ThenhesuggestedIgotothesamechurchmymotherfrequentedbeforeshedied.Ithoughthewas tryingtohelpme,butreally,hejustwantedmyrealfathertoseethestateIwasin Hewantedtotortureusboth andhedid I almostthrewmyselfoffabridge.FatherCharlie…myrealdad,istheonlyreasonI’mstillheretoday.”
This itwasalmosttoointimate Eventhoughwewerebothclothedandnothingwasgoingon,mytruthwaslaidbareto thisman,thismanwhowasastrangertomeinallrespects andyet,atthesametime,hewasn’tastranger.
HecametoCypresstotakeMiguel down,butmorethanthat,hefollowed me here Iintriguedhim Hecametotheparty withalltheheirstoseeme.HeboughtmeabeautifulgunthatwasnowforgottenintheMorettiresidence,evenetcheditwith myname,for me HeleapedatthechancetotakemeawayfromMiguel andhehadnoideathethingsMiguelwoulddotome beforehandingmeover.
Mylungssuddenlyfelttight,anditwasastruggletoevensayhisname,“Damian,I ”WhateverelseImight’vesaiddied inthebackofmythroat,soinsteadoftryingtofindtherightwords,Isimplyslippedoffthechair andsanktothefloor with him
Ijumpedbetweenthem,yelling,“Don’tshooteachother!”Please,God,thelastthingIneededwasforthesetwotoshoot andkilleachother IstoodbetweenDamianandtheintruder AKACadeCunningham Cade,who,Imightadd,lookeddownrightdevilishinallblack,withthickblackglovesonhishandsandasilencedpistol pointed directlyatus. AtDamian, really. His wide, strongchestrose and fell withfurious breaths, and his greeneyes were narrowedinourdirection.
I placed my hands on my hips, whipping my head between both men. Damian might not be as tall or as physically impressiveasCade,butthat’sbecausehewasn’tfromafamilyofassassins.Cadekilledpeoplefor aliving.Damiankilled, yes,butitwasadifferentbeastentirely Isettledonthegangleaderbehindme.“Damian,ItrustCade.”
Itooktowatchingherplaceafterourlittletalk.Itwasn’tstrictlyherplace,though;itwastheMorettifamily’splace,atleast while theywere here inthe city.Afancyhotel indowntownCypress.Andsince the unitwas sohighup,watchingitwasn’t easy LuckilyI’dfoundanemptyofficespaceacrossthestreetandrenteditoutmyself Notquitethesamefloorastheirunit, butcloseenough.
Someone wantedGiselle dead Someone hadshother,miraculouslymissedanythingimportant,andnow putouta hitfor her,requestingmyfamilytakethejobfromtheGuild.
I’dtalkedtoheroutofaprofessionalcourtesy ThegirlandIhadhistory,asmuchasIdidn’twanttoadmitit She she reallywastooyoungforme,butthesadnessinthoseambereyesmadeherseemolder.
Myfather was inthe roomwe’d changed into a study, and he’d looked up fromhis deskthe momentI’d walked in He lookeda lotlikeme.Addtwentyyears tome,andIimaginedI’dlookjustlike him.Thesame blondhair,the same emerald eyes,thesamehardcutjawanddiscerningglare
“Well?”Myfathercockedhisheadatmeasheleanedbackinhischairandcrossedhislegs,waiting “Let’shearit” “I’mturninginthe contract,onbehalfofeveryCunningham,” Itoldhimpoint-blank.“None ofus will be killingGiselle Santos”
“Women in our circle very rarely do, but they have a duty to their families.” He let out a harsh sigh, and then leaned forward Hishandswerenowflatonhisdesk “Iwon’tsayI’msurprised I’mnot However,Idothinkyouneedtostopand takesometimetoyourself,Cade.Refusingajob,ajobyou’vealreadyacceptedonbehalfofourfamily,issomethingyou’ve neverdonebefore”
“Shewon’tbepleasedwithyou,butyoualreadyknowthat.”Hegotupandwalkedaroundhisdesk,comingtowardme.He setahandonmyshoulder,squeezingitashesaid,“Look,ifthisiswhatyoufeelyoumustdo,thenI’mbehindyouonehundred percent.DoIwishyouwould’ve come toterms withyour…feelings for the girl before acceptingthe jobinthe firstplace? Yes,butIalsoknowsometimeswecan’thelpit.”
Heansweredonthesecondring,andfromthesoundofhisvoice,Itookithewasstillhalf-asleep,“Yo,bro What’sup? Must be something really important to wake me up at ” There’s a pause as he must’ve checked the time. “ ten in the morning”
“Itis Getyour ass outofbed and getto Cypress I’mgoingto send youtwo addresses One’s for anoffice space I’ve rentedout,andtheother…IneedyoutowatchtheotherwhileI’moutoftown.Ishouldgetbacklatethisafternoon ”
The meetingtooka while, mostlybecause the Lioness made me wait The womanwas never late, so she was doingthis on purpose.Isatthere,atGuildheadquarters,inthatroommadeofglass,for whatfeltlikeaneternitybeforeshestrolledin,a hardfrownonherface Amiddle-agedwoman,shetooknoshitfromanybody Irespectedher,andshe,inturn,respectedthose whoactuallycompletedthejobstheyaccepted.
It was as I was inthe elevator, headingdownto the lobby, that myphone rang. I picked it up and saw Archie’s name flashingacrossthescreen Somethinginsidetensedup,andIanswereditimmediately “Archie,what’sgoingon?” “Uh.”Icouldhardlyhearhim.Itsoundedlikehewasonhisbike.“Yeah.Aboutyourgirl?Someonetookher.Rightoutof thathotelsuite”
Myjawground.Nooneelsewastherewithher?Didn’tmakesense.“Andyoudidn’thaveyourscope,orwhat?” “Uh, no, Ido have myscope, but Ifigure since someone’s out to get her, Icantail themwherever theygo and find the source.Cuttheheadoffthebeastforgood.”Ah,sothat’swhyitsoundedlikehewasonhisbike becausehewas.Hemust’ve beenfollowingwhoevertookher.
The elevator was not somethingyoucould speed up, unfortunately The floors ticked byone after the other, and Igrew antsy.“I’llgetthereassoonasIcan.”
“Whoeveritis,hedidn’tshootheratthehotel,so ” Iwasaloneintheelevator,whichwastheonlyreasonIfeltcomfortablesayingoutloud,“He’stakinghertoasecondary location,whichmeanshewantssomethingfromher.”Whetherthatwasinformationortosimplytakehistimeintorturingher,I didn’tknow. Either way, Ineeded to flyonce Iwas inmycar, breakeverysingle speed limitthere was onmywaybackto Cypress.
Why, ohwhydid Giselle constantlyfind herselfintrouble? That girl’s life couldn’t have beeneasyfor once, could it? Everythingshe’dgonethrough,everythingshe’dbeenforcedtolivethrough…iftherewasonepersononthiswholefucking earthwhodeservedabreak,itwasher
And I’d do whatever Icould so she could getthatgoddamnbreak, evenifIhad to wreakbloodyhavoc oneverysingle personinCypress
Archie called withinthirtyminutes, tellingme the manwho’d kidnapped her broughther to a warehouse ofsorts, onthe outskirtsofthecity Itoldhimtokeepwatch,don’tgobargingin;wedidn’tknowhowmanymenwereinside Goinginalone, ascapableasmybrotherwas,mightbesuicide.
And then he called again, twenty minutes after that, to tell me a tall, older, Hispanic man had arrived at that same warehouseandgoneinside Ididn’tneedtoknowanymoredetails ThatmanwasMiguelSantos
“His name’s Damian. He’s also in the running for the Black Hand.” Fuck. Were he and Miguel private partners or something? Was Miguel tryingto be buddy-buddywitheveryone insecret? Butwhythe hell would he hand over Giselle to him…
WhywouldDamianwanther?
Scratchthat. She’s a young, prettygirl. It’s obvious whyanyone would wanther. Miguel had alreadysold her outonce. Whynotasecondtime?
“Shewasn’tbleeding,ifthat’s whatyoumean.Shehadabagover her head,soIcouldn’tseemuch,butIdidn’tseeany freshwoundsonher.”
Westayedonthephoneduringthelaststretchofthedrive Ihadmygunsittingonthepassengerseat,readytogo Iwasfive minutes awaywhenArchie said, “Looks like the goons are leaving. Don’t know why. Less bodies, at least. Now no one’s guardingthefrontdoor”
Small mercies, Isupposed, althoughthe jurywas outwhether itwould trulybe a small mercy. OnlyifGiselle was still alive Onlyifshewassafe OnceIhadherinmyarms,onlythencouldIrelax
Once Iarrived, Iended the call and parked mycar onthe street, justbefore the house. Igrabbed mygun, threw a quick glancearound,andthengottowork.
Ididn’twanttolower mygun,butGiselle lookedunharmed.Notonlythat,butIcouldn’tshake the wayshe’dlookedat him,howquietlyshe’dtoldDamianthatshetrustedme,like…likeshetrustedDamian,too. Whatthehellwasgoingonhere?
Irestedmygunatmyside,themetalcoldinmyhand.Isodesperatelywantedtoreachoutforsomethingwarm,tofeelher soft skin again, and the only reason I resisted was because of the other man in the room, who’d tucked his gun into the waistbandofhistornpantsandwasnowkneelingnearthebrokendoor
Ifrownedathim,andmyfrowningonlydeepenedwhenIwatchedhimstrollovertoGiselleandsay,“Whydon’tyouand your… gianthere take some time while Irunto the store to buya new fuckingdoor?” Thatlastpartwas spokento me, his blackeyesdaggersasheglaredatme.
“We’llbefinehere,”shetoldhim,reachingforhisarm,touchingDamianeversoslightly butIstillsaw it Justaquick touch,fleetingandpassing,butforsomeonewithherpast,everytouchmeantsomething.
“Giselleissafe,”Itoldhim.“Things…aren’twhattheyseem.Youcanpackitin,Archie.I’llhandleitfromhere.” “That’sit?Kindofanticlimactic,don’tyouthink?”Hesighed “Whatever You ” “Iowe youone,” Ifinished his sentence, alreadyknowingwhathe was goingto say. Ina familylike ours, favors were somethingyoutuckedawayforlater,forwhentheshitreallyhitthefan.Whateverhe’dneedhelpwithinthefuture,itwouldn’t matter.I’ddoanythingtopayhimbackforhelpingmewithGiselle.
Gisellewatchedhimgo,andthenthoseeyesofhersfixatedonmeoncemore.Secondstickedby,andIheardDamian’scar startoutside Soonenough,nothingbutsilence surroundedus The expressionshe wore was one Icouldn’tread,almostlike shewastryingtohidesomethingfromme.
Heryellowhairwaswet,andyetthedampstrandsstillframedherface.Shewasn’twearingwhite,foronce,andinspite of the circumstances she looked just as beautiful as ever Strongand bold, yet unsure and weakat the same time Aliving contradiction.
Hereyesclosed,andsheturnedherfaceawayasshemuttered,“There’ssomuchyoudon’tknow,Cade.Somuch.” “Thentellme Tellme,princess,becauseIjustreturnedthecontracttotheGuild Nooneinmyfamilywilllayahandon you but that doesn’t mean someone else can’t accept the contract themselves. You know this already, but you’re not safe anywhere.”
I followed her toward the living room, where a sectional sat, a couch that looked to be untouched This whole place, actually,lookedtobenewer.NowonderDamianwassoupsetaboutthegoddamneddoor.
“GreenbackSerpents,” she toldme.“They’re a gangwho’ve beena thorninmy…inMiguel’s side for years now.Petty theft,vandalism,tryingtoturnhismenagainsthim.Nothingtoohuge,butbadenoughMiguelhasbeentryingtofindtheirleader
forsometime.”
And thenGiselle letoutthe breathiestofsighs I’d ever heard, her shoulders slumping. She leaned her head backonthe couch,eyesontheceiling “Doyouwanttohearthewholestory?Youalreadyknowsomeofit” TherewasnothingIcouldsaybesides,“Yes.”
Giselle then thought that was that… until they came here and she began to suspect her father wanted her dead. That possibilitywas further cemented after she was nearlykilled and quicklymarried offto Luca Moretti because Miguel had a secretpregnantfiancé.
ShethoughtMiguelwastheonewhoputoutthecontractwiththeGuild Miguelobviouslywantedtopaintsomeoneasthe murderer;the Guild worked secretly, so the truthwould never come out. Miguel could paintwhatever storyhe wanted, and Gisellewouldbetoodeadtocorrecthim
It’s whyshe was here now.Miguel hadhandedher over tothe Serpents after havingone ofhis menkidnapher fromthe Morettisuite.HehadassumedtheSerpentswouldtortureherandthenkillherforwhatshedidinthatchurch,butheassumed wrong.DamianhadfoundoutMiguelhadboughtsomeoftheSerpents,andhewantedrevengeontheasshole.
RevengeonMiguelwassomethingIunderstoodalltoowell.
“Idon’tunderstand whyyour father would hire those Serpents to kill Father Charlie,” Isaid, bringingup somethingthat bothered me. I’d heard bits and pieces of the storybefore, but now that it was all together, it still felt like somethingwas missing Animportantpieceofthepuzzle
“She had anaffair Miguel had her killed whenhe found outshe was unfaithful, and he spentyears lookingfor the man she’dbeenwith.Hisegocouldn’tletitgo,”Gisellewhispered.“Thatman…wasFatherCharlie.” “Fuck,”Iwhispered,“I’msosorry”
“We haven’tgottenthatfar yet We didn’thave too muchtime to talkbefore youcame to save the day” Giselle’s hands relaxed,andsheliftedherheadoffthecouch,turningthoseambereyestome.“Thankyou,bytheway.I…Ididn’tknowyou caredenoughaboutmetodothis”
Somethinginmychestswelled.Myheart?Ofcoursemyfuckingheart.Thisgirlhadwormedherselfinsideme,refusedto leave,andnowIwasbasicallyaslavetoher.HelplessanddesperateinthewayIwantedher,nottomentioninthewayI’ddo anythingtokeephersafe Theworldhadhurtherfartoomuchasitwasalready Iwanted to reachfor her hand, butIstopped myself, and Isettled for leaninga little closer to her and whispering, “Of courseIcareforyou Youdon’thavetothankmeforanyofthis I ”WhatwasItryingtosay?“Yougotinmyheadthatfirst nightandneverleftit,princess.”
Her lips were slow to quirkinto a smile. “EventhoughI’mtoo youngfor you, dragonman?” Dragonmanwas whatshe supposedlycalledmebeforediscoveringmytrueidentity.Course,ifshe’dknownanythingabouttheCunninghamfamily,she could’veputittogetherherself.Eachmemberofmyfamilyhadtattoossimilartomine.
“So manyreasons whyyoushouldn’t be here right now I’mnot your responsibilityinanyway,” she spoke, her voice droppingtoabarewhisper.“Butyouarehere.Youdidcomeforme.”Thatsmileofhersgrewwhensheasked,“Iftherewere twentypeopleinthishouse,wouldyouhavekilledthemallforme?”
IhurriedafterGiselleonceitwasdone,notsurewhereshe’dgonetointhehouse.Itwasanewer,one-storyabode,even thoughitlooked like itcould be two full stories fromthe street. That’s the thingaboutall these newer houses: lots ofattic space
How could it not be? Giselle was safe, and she wanted me on that bed, in the light of the afternoon Avery different atmospherefromourtwoencountersatthePlayground,butoneI’dgladlytake.
Shesaidnotawordtomeasshestartedtoundress.Piecebypieceshetookoffallherclothing,droppingthemtothefloor haphazardly Ihad to liftmyhead offthe pillow to watchher, needingto see her, to experience the beautythatwas Giselle duringthedayandnotthestolenhoursofnight.
It was analmost painful realization Somehow, someway, it had happened Sometime duringour fleetingconversations, during our passion at the Playground, sometime during the roller coaster of finding out she was engaged and then secretly marriedtoLucaMoretti,I’dfallenforher
I had to clench my hands into fists to stop myself fromreaching for her, to stop myself from grabbing her thighs and squeezing,fromrollingherontoherbackandtakingcharge God,IwantednothingmorethantotellherwhatI’djustrealized, butnow…aftereverythingshe’dgonethroughtoday,itprobablywasn’tthebesttime.
Giselle was a goddess above me. Our position, with her on top, threw me back to our second time together at the Playground. Onlythis time things felt more real, we were eachlaid bare, no masks to give us a sliver to hide behind. No pretending.Thiswasrealandtherewasnodenyingit.
Time ceased to matter. Itcould’ve beenhours or itcould’ve beenminutes. Ididn’tcare. I’d staylocked inthis position withGiselleifgiventhechoice,lettheworldaroundusfadeawayuntilitwasjustthetwoofus.
Maybe sex wasn’t something I should want right now, after well, after Miguel did what he did But at the same time, I wantedtomakeamorerecentmemory,onewhereIwasinchargeofthewholething.Bewithsomeoneelsetowipeawaythe feelingofthosehandsandthatdick.
Cade was more than willing Of course he was He was my dragon man, my mysterious masked stranger He was everythingIcould want, everythinganystraightgirl would crave. He’d helped me overcome mypastonce, and now, albeit unwittingly,hewashelpingmeagain
MystomachhurtfromwhatMiguelhaddonetome,butIpushedthroughthepain I’dspentthreeyearsofmylifeinpain andmisery,goingfromdaytodaylike a damnedzombie.Icouldhandle the pain.Icouldignore it.I’dlivedwithitfor that long, and I’d live withit until Idied Some painnever trulywent away Sometimes it stayed withyou, clungto youlike a repressedmemory,alwaysthere,readytosting.
My skin was on fire My breathing had turned hard and erratic, but I couldn’t stop I had to keep going Cade was as attractiveaseverbeneathme,andthemandidhisbesttokeephisarmsoverhishead hewasprobablyhappytherewereno handcuffsinvolvedthistime.Itmeanthewouldn’tbestucktothebedifIranaway.
As if I could run away fromthis No Fromhere on out, there would be no more running away Only running toward Towardvengeance,retribution.Towardrevengeandallthepainandchaositwouldbring.
Iwasthankful forhim,truly Ifitwasn’tforhim,Ididn’tknow whereI’dberightnow Perhapsdead Perhapsashell of myself,likeIwasbefore.IowedsomuchofwhoIwastodaytothisman,itwasalmostunreal.
He Ineededhim IneededhimsomuchmorethanIeverrealizedbefore Ididn’tknowmuchabouthim,itwastrue,butI trustedhim.Itrustedthisman,thatIwassafewithhim,thathe’dneverhurtme.Thathe’ddowhateverhecouldtosaveme.It wasn’tsomethingIcouldsayaboutmanyothermeninthiscity.
Iinhaledthroughmynoseslowlybeforelettingoutashudderingbreaththroughmymouth.Mybackarched,andIcouldfeel myselfinchingclosertotheedge.Mylegsweregrowingsore;Ihadnoideahow longI’dbeengoingatit,butithadtobea while Mylegsfeltlikejelly
Damianleanedonthewallnearthedoor,thatsmirkonlygrowingashetookourpositionin.Thosedarkeyesofhisroamed over Cade spreadbeneathme,andonce theylandedonme,he couldn’tlookaway Analmostlustful expressioncrossedhis face as his gaze tookinmybared figure. Myass, myback, the side ofmytits he could see, and lastlymyflushed face and partedlips
Ifithad beenanyone else who’d walked inonus like this, Iwould’ve tried to cover myself, butfor some reason, all I coulddowasstareatDamianandfeelmyinnercoretightenaroundCade’scock
Cade started to situp under me, like he was goingto shield mybodyfromDamian’s greedystare, butIstopped himby settingahandonhischestandpushinghimbackdown.Thelookhegavemewasquestioning,buthesaidnotaword.
The heat on my face was there for a whole new reason now. Everyone in the Playground seemed to enjoy having an audience,andthatdreamIhad,whereallthemenwho’dfoundthemselvesinmythoughtshadmaterializedandeitherwatched orsharedme,pushedtotheforefrontofmymind.
Good Itmademefeel good That,combinedwiththewayCadefeltbeneathme,was enoughtomakemeforgetwhyI’d needed this inthe firstplace. Whatever happened, whatever led up to this, none ofitmattered anymore. The onlythingthat matteredrightnowwasthehighIcurrentlychased
I didn’t feel pain, and the hatred I had within me for Miguel was pushed down by the feeling of being so wanted, so desired,thatitwasallIcouldthinkabout
The old me would’ve thought having an audience, even an audience of one, was kind of gross… but now that it was happening,Icouldn’tdenythewayitwaskindofhot KnowingDamianhadeyesforme,knowinghewaswatchingmewith Cade,gettingturnedon,filledmewithasmugsenseofsatisfactionnothingelsecould.
Andthenitall became toomuch Toomuchfor little oldme Ithrew myheadbackandletouta breathycryas pleasure explodedwithinme,andIrodeCade’scockharder,prolongingtheelectricsensationsjoltingthroughme.Itwasanorgasmlike noother,andevenwhenitendedIstillfelttinglyallover.
The mention of Zander made my heart ache, and I finally slipped off Cade’s midsection. I gave my back to Cade as I whispered,“Idon’tthinkZanderlovesme”
EverythingZanderhadevertoldme…howcouldIbesureitwastrue?HowcouldIknow any ofitwastrue?Damiansaid hesawZander’sfaceunderthehood,thatZanderwastheonewho’dshotmethatnight.
Zander could’ve killed me thatnight. Easily.He was a good shot. There was no wayhe’d missed thatbadly. The stupid hopethathelovedme,thathe’dgoagainstMiguelSantosforme,wasnothingmorethanadaggertotheheart “I’msorry,Giselle.”
At first, I thought I didn’t hear himright, because what the heck was he talking about? We literally just had sex That involvedawholelotoftouchingincertainplaces.Although,nowthatIwasthinkingaboutit,Ididmakehimputhishandsover hisheadthewholetime
Firm Eager Warm Notanoverlypassionate kiss,buta kiss thattoldme he was here for me andhe meanteverysingle word he said. Comforting. It was exactlythe kind of kiss I needed after the day’s events, the perfect kind of kiss, one that immediatelygroundedme,pulledmebackintorealityandstoppedmefromspiraling
Idecideditthen.IwouldnotletMiguelwinthis.Iwouldnotlethimreopenthewoundsofmypast,woundsI’dtriedso hard to heal The lastthingI’d lethimdo was turnme into the depressed, zombie-fied versionofmyselfI’d beenthese last threeyears.
Miguel thoughthe could breakme? Hah The brokenGiselle was inthe past The Giselle oftodaywanted nothingmore thanvengeance.
Iwanted to take Miguel down, and eventhoughIhad Damianand his Serpents behind me, I’d need more. More eyes in Cypress Moreears Morepeoplewillingtodowhateverittooktoseethisthroughtocompletion Ineededmymen.
AftermakingsureIwaspresentable,IwenttohangnearDamianandCade Damianhadtobuyadrilltoo,bythelookofit, anditappearedthattheoldfrontdoor’sframewaseasilytakenoutandreplacedbythenewone.Itwasanewerhouse,after all.
Isatatthediningroomtable,watchingthemmakesurethedoor waslevel,andthenCadehadtoholdthedoor justright while Damianscrewedinthe firsthinge.“Nomore breakingdowndoors,Superman,” Damianquipped.“Idon’tknow what youthinkofme,butIain’tmadeofmoney”
AllCadedidwasrollhiseyes.
Bythe time theywere done installingthe door andcleaningupthe mess Cade hadmade bybreakingin,itwas darkout Damian’sSerpentsweren’tbackyetwithclothesandwhateverelsetheyweresupposedtogetme,sohecalledthemandtold themtobringsomefood,too.Pizza,becauseeveryplanningsessionneededsomepizza.
His fingers tapped the table, and he didn’tsayanythingrightaway. Thatgave Damianenoughtime to finishhis call and stroll over to us. He pulled outthe chair opposite me and slumped init. “Food should be here inanhour, alongwithsome
“Andyou’rehereonbehalfofAtlas…notbecauseyouwantontheBlackHand,butbecauseyouwantGiselle.” Damianclapped.“Lookwho’sputtingittogether.Well, some ofit,anyway.”Atthat,hetossedawinkmyway,as ifhim beingAtlaswasourlittlesecret.“Youwantyourotherboyfriendshere?Fine,we’llget‘emhere.Put‘emtothetest,too.Seeif theyrunandtellanyoneyou’rehereandunharmed”
“Miguel will assume the Serpents tortured and killed me. I’msure he’s writtenme offcompletelyalready,” Itold them. “We’llusethattoouradvantage”
“Whataboutthatold bodyguard ofyours?” Cade asked, and Damian’s darkeyebrows came together. Bothmenwatched me, as iftheybothwaited for ananswer. Theyeachhad to know how muchI’d grownto care for Zander, butonlyDamian knewthetruth.
I…Istillwasn’ttotallyconvinceditwasZander.It’slikehalfofmeknewhowlogicalitwas,andthathalfofmehadput all the pieces together: how he’d acted at the hospital, how he’d known I would sneak out of the house and go to the Playground,howhe’dtoldmeoncehewasn’tagoodguy.
And the other half? The other half just didn’t want to believe it The other half of me had falleninlove withhimand wantedtobelievethebestinhim.
Deal with him could’vemeantalotofthings Talktohim,seewhathehadtosay,decidewhetherIbelievedhimornot killhim.Itcouldmeansomuch,andthecrazypartwas,rightnowIdidn’tknowwhichIleanedtowardmost.
ChapterFour–Luca
Myheart fell out of mybodywhenI came backto the suite to find the door openand Giselle gone. She was just… gone. Completelygone.AndIdidn’tmeangone asifshe’drunawayormovedout. No,allofherstuffwasstillhere Hergoldencross,andeventhativorygun
ThatwasthefirsttimeIcaughtmyselfwondering,becauseitdidn’tmakesense Gisellehadonlyjustmovedin Shehadn’t beenwithme thatlong. Whoever had takenher must’ve done their recononthe hotel we were stayingatlongbefore she’d moved in, because no alarms had beenraised atall, and no one other thanthe securitycamera inthe hall onour floor had caughtanything
ThepossibilitythatitwasmyfatherandMiguelschemingbehindGiselle’sbackandminemademefeelonlyslightlybetter as the afternoon turned into dusk If they were behind this, then maybe, just maybe she was still alive somewhere Maybe Gisellewasstillbreathing.
Itwas beautiful. Beautiful and deadly. The grip was ivory, etched withflowers and vines. Her name was writtenonthe steel She’dtoldmethatDamianhadgottenherthisgun,andIneverreallyunderstoodwhy Ididn’tknowtheywereclose ButIsupposedtherewasalotaboutmywifeIdidn’tknow.IlikedtothinkIknewtheimportantbits,thepartsofherpast thatmadeherwhoshewastoday innothankstomyfuckingfather
Iwas slow ingettingto myfeet, still holdingonto her gunas Idecided I’d fuckingwalkeveryblockofthis city Every street.Everysidewalk.I’dscourtheentirefuckingcitytofindher.I’ddoanythingandeverythingIcould.I’d Rightthen,myphonerang
“Luca?ThisisCadeCunningham Are youalone?” The heir thatwas normallybroodingand quiet,offbyhimselfbecause he hatedbeinglumped inwithheirs that wereatleasttenyearshisjunior Hewas,Iwasprettysure,theoldestheirintherunning Hadwordalreadyspread?Ididn’tknowhowsomethinglikethatwaspossible,butitwasthefirstthoughtthatcametomy mindoncehesaidhisname.
“I’mgoingto list off anaddress. Memorize it. Don’t write it down. Come immediately.” As mysterious as ever, Cade offerednoadditionaldetails whichwould’vebeenusefulrightaboutnow,sinceIhadnoideawhatthehellhewasgoingon about.
Isnappedbacktoreality,“Yeah,I’mlistening Sayitonemoretime”Thistime,whenherepeatedtheaddress,Imouthedit back. While still onthe call, I hurried out of the bedroomand went to grab mycar keys, and at the same time, I input the addresstogetdirections “It’lltakemefortyminutestogetthere” “Good.Comenow,andremember ”
Hehungup.Cadehunguponme,rightafterImentionedGiselle’sname.I’dbelyingifIsaiditdidn’tgrindmygears I wasonedge,obviously,asworriedandanxiousasapersoncouldbewithoutgoinginsane buttherewasn’tanythingIcould dotochangeit.
CadeandIweren’tfriends Wewerebarelyacquaintances Wereallyonlysharedasinglething,andthatwasGiselle For himtocallmeandtellmetomeethimsomewhereoutsideofCypress,well…thetimingwasoddallaround.
Noneofitwasalright.Noneofitwasfine.Everythingwassomessedup,andIdidn’tknow how tofixthings.Ihadthe feelingnothingwouldeverbethesameagain.
Isped.IbrokeafewspeedingrulesandtrafficlawsonthewaytotrytobeatthetimetheGPSonmyphonesaidI’darrive. Theworldbecameoneofnight,duskgivingwaytoablacksky EventuallyImadeitoutofCypress,towhatevercitybuttedup against it. The directions took me to a development whose houses actually had yards something you didn’t really see in Cypress Manyof the plots were empty, witha few havingsemi-built houses onthem Anewer development, then, still in progress.
Mylegs tookme to the front door, and the two unfamiliar mensized me up as Iapproached Neither one appeared too impressedwithme,butthatwentbothways.“Uh,”Istarted,“I’mhereforCade?”
The two guys glanced at eachother, somethingunspokenpassingbetweenthem, and thenthe one onthe left flicked his thumbtowardthedoor.Iguesshiswayoftellingmetogoin.
Myarms fell fromher backonlysomyhands couldcupher face Words justwouldn’tcutithere Ibroughtmymouthto hers,kissingher,wordlesslytellingherjusthowworriedI’dbeenforher,howfranticI’dbeentheselastfewhours.
Seriously, it was like the world had shifted for me Like, seeing that security footage with the masked man carrying Giselle’sunconsciousbodyhadbeenalightbulbmomentforme.
Amuscle inCade’s jaw tensed “And because she told me to, butthatdoesn’tmeanyoucanwaltzinhere and make out withheranytimeyouwant.”
“She’s mywife,” Ihissed.Itdidn’tmatter tome thatshe was onlymywife because our fathers hadschemedbehindour backs.Semanticsdidn’tmattertothisparticularconversation.
Giselle sighed. “Dear God. You two are acting like boys. Can you both shut up about it already? Luca, if you want somethingtoeat,there’sstillpizzainthekitchen”
Ah,okay.Shewasasbluntasever,Isee.Noholdsbarred.Justastraightshooter,righttothepoint.ThatwasGiselle.Not sureifthat’s somethingIshouldbe grateful for or not.Iguess her beingtruthful was better thanher beinga liar or someone whohidthingsfromme
Hardnottobejealous,though.Impossible.
It took everything in me to not address what she’d said and simply say, “Giselle, what the hell is going on? What happened?”
Onceshewasfinishedtellingmethestoryoftheday’sevents,Ifoundmyselfasking,“WhywouldMiguel tell youall of this?Whywouldtellingyouthetruthaboutyourbiologicaldadmatterintheend?”
Iinhaledandexhaledslowly.“Ithinkyou’reright.”Theremight’vebeenatimewhenIwouldn’twanttoadmitsomething like that, but… I now knew myfather was a sicksonof a bitch. Who knew how manyyounggirls he’d hurt, the same as Giselle?“TheyhadameetingwithAtticusandtheBlackHandtonight”
“Ineed youto actlike you’re onyour father’s side Be myeyes and ears Ican’tshow myface inCypress yet, notuntil we’re ready to strike, so I’mrelying on you and the others. I need to know what dirt Rocco and Miguel have on Atticus, besidesthewholeNixonthing”
“Luca,Miguel’snottheonlyoneIwanttotakedown,”shewhispered.“Iknowhowharditistogoagainstyourfather,so ifyoudon’twantanythingto do withitwhenthe time comes, I’ll understand butyouneed to know: Iwill kill Rocco I’ll probablykillhimbeforeMiguel,andeventhoughIcareaboutyou,Ineedyoutoknow it’snothingpersonalagainstyou.Just thatassholeofafatherofyours.”
The wayshe saidit,solevel-headed,soevenly,made me realize she was one hundredpercentserious.Endgame tothis wasMiguelSantos’sdeath…andmyownfather’s.
WeeksagoImight’vefoughther,Imight’veranstraighttomyfatherandtoldhimofherplans oreventakencareofher myself becausefamilywaseverything,right?Whenyouwereraisedbyamanlikemyfather,youweretaughtthatfamilywas life
She sighed outa lungful ofair, full ofrelief. “Thankyou, Luca. I… Iwas worried youwouldn’tunderstand. Imightnot wantto be your wife, butI’d still hate to lose youover this. You’re… you’re a good man. Youmust’ve gottenitfromyour mother”
Shewasprobablyright Still,itwasastruggletopullmyselfawayfromher,togetupandheadtothebedroomdoor Even thoughGisellegotupwithme,itstillpainedmetoleave.Iwantedtostayherewithher,tosleepinthatbedwithherandhold herallnight,tellhereverythingwasgoingtobefine
ButIwasn’tthe onlyone she hadonher team.Notthe onlymanshe liked.Ididn’tknow how this wouldend notonly withMiguelandmyfather,butwithGiselleandhercircusofmen.Ididn’tknowifshe’dchooseorifshe’drefuseto.
If she refused, would I be able to handle sharingher long-termwithother guys I mayor maynot get alongwith? That questionswirledinmyheadasIwalkedwithGiselletothefrontdoorofthehouse.WepassedDamianandCadeinthedining room Thelatterwasscowling,whiletheformerappearedamusedatthelatter’sattitude
Would theybe okaywithsharinglong-term? Cade didn’tseemhappyaboutitatall, butthenagain, Giselle did saythat she’dhadsexwithCadewhileDamianwatched Istoppedbeforethedoor,turningtowardGiselle.Her headwasangledback,her lightbrowneyesseeminghappier than theyhadwhenI’dfirstarrived.“I’llprobablystealCade’sphone,”shesaid,causingthemaninquestiontomutteraconfused ‘What?’“Soifyoufindanythingout,justcallhisnumber,okay?”
“Okay,”Isaid,thoughIcould’vesaidsomuchmore. “Anddon’ttalktoanyoneaboutme ThatincludesZander I Iwanttobetheonetoreachout” Iunderstoodwhereshewascomingfrom,Ithink;it’saconversationshewouldratherhaveherself.“I’llbeintouch.Please staysafe,Giselle I Idon’tknowwhatI’ddoifsomethinghappenedtoyou Iwentcrazytoday,thinkingyouweregone I ” Itwas as ItalkedthatIrealized: Ineededher.I’dcometoneedher insuchashorttime.Theywerenotfeelings Icould ignoreor deny.Theywerestrongandblinding,tothepointwhereIcametotheconclusionIdidn’tcareifshenever madea decisionbetweenthemenatherside Ineededher,andthat’sallthatmattered Ifthatwasn’tlove,Ididn’tknowwhatitwas.
Shegavemeasoftsmile “I’mokay,Luca Youdon’thavetoworryaboutme” Butthat’sthething,wasn’tit?AsIturnedtoleave,duckingoutofthehouseafterthatandhurryingtomycar,Iknew that wasn’tquitetrue.Gisellemightwantittobetrue,butitwasn’t.Shemightbeokaynow,butthatdidn’tmeanIshouldn’tworry. Gisellewouldneverletthisgo.NotMiguelandnotmyfather.Shewouldn’tstopuntilshesawthemgettheirjustdesserts. Shewouldliterallystopatnothing,evenifitmeantherowndownfall.
Andthatwaswhysheneededus,whysheneeded all ofus.She’ddigherowngraveifshehadtoinordertotakedownmy fatherandMiguel.Itwasuptous tome,Cade,Damian,Zander,andeventhatpriestsheliked,whateverhisnamewas. Itwasuptoustosaveher
“Youlooklike the catwho swallowed thatbird Whatever the fuckthatsayingis,” Damianremarked, studyingme from acrossthetable.“Youandyourhubbyfinallycometotermswiththeattractionbetweenyoutwo?Finallysealthedeal?”
“Obviously,mine gotleftatthe hotel whenIwas kidnapped,” Isaid.“Ifyouwanttobe able togetaholdofme without drivingallthewayhere,I’mgoingtoneedoneofyourphones Ifyou’dratherItakeDamian’s ”
“One-two-three-four?Really,Superman?Youcouldn’tthinkofanythingbetterthanthat?”Damianlaughed.“Whatkindof phone is it? I’ll have to send the boys out tomorrow for a charger, along with anything else they didn’t grab tonight.” He reachedforthephoneandstudiedit
Cadegroanedagain.Hecheckedthetimeonhisphone.“Ishouldgetbacktothecity.I’llworkongettinganotherphonein the morningbefore touchingbase withyouto see where we’re at Ifyouneed anything call Isaac Cunningham That’s my father.”
IgotupwithCade “Thankyousomuch,Cade For everything” For coming here with the intent of saving me from my captors, for returning the assassination job even though it meant worse standing with your Guild. For literally everything.
That’s all ittookfor Cade to frownand pull awayfromme. “Fuckoff, Damian.” He thenstalked off, leavingthe house withoutanotherword.Themoment,thankstoDamian,wasruined althoughitdidn’tlooklikeCadewasreadytofinishthat sentenceanytimesoon,regardless
He shrugged. “He justseems like a very… macho guy. Alpha. Iwould’ve assumed your personalities wouldn’tmix, but maybe circumstances changedthings.” WhenIcontinuedgivinghima strange look,he chuckled.“Iain’tpokingfunatyou,I promise I’mjustconstantlyamazedthatyoumanagedtocatchsomanyfishinyournet” Fishmeaningguys.Damianwasn’tstupid.Heknewtherewasmore.HeknewCadeandLucaweren’ttheonlyones.He’d beenwatchingmeforawhile,eitherwithhisowneyesorhiscrew’s,whichmeanthehadtoknowaboutEzekielandZander Oh,Zander.WhatwasIgoingtodowithyou?
“Whatkind offishare you?” Iasked, tryingto getmymind offZander and whatDamianaccused himofdoing The old woundinmystomachhurt,thatnightflaringtolifeinmymind.
Damiansmirkedatme.“Why?Wanttocatchanotherfishinthatnet,babygirl?Maybeyoudon’tneedto.MaybeI’vebeen in your net all along” The look he gave me right then made me recall just how close we’d been before Cade had busted throughthatdoor.
We were alone in the house now, although we were waiting on one more man to arrive tonight No one else around, windowsshut,curtainsdrawn.ItwasonlybecausewewerealonethatIsaid,“WhatwouldAtlasdowithagirllikeme?”
Before either ofus could sayanother word, the frontdoor swungopenand Ezekiel walked in. The manwore his priest garb,thedarkoutfitsnugonhismuscular figure Hisblack-hairedheadwhippedinour direction,andthemomenthespotted me,heletoutasighofrelief.Thedoorswungshut,andhestrolledover tousatthetable,intheblinkofaneyethecalmest man.
Whichwas a lie, nothingmore thana maskEzekiel wore whensurrounded bypeople. I’d gottena glimpse of the true Ezekiel,andIknewI’dneedthatunholymonsteronmyside.
“Ah, the infamous BlackHand priest,” Damianspoke, his smirkturned toward Ezekiel, the intensityand tensionof our earlierconversationgone.Hegottohisfeet,rubbedhisjaw,andwalkedovertowherehestoodattheheadofthetable.
Only when he was gone did Ezekiel level that emotionless stare at me again only this time, the emotionless facade cracked,andbeneaththemaskIsaw genuineconcern.“TheBlackHandmetwithyourfatherandRoccoMorettitonight.You werestolenrightoutoftheMorettisuite”Hewasunhurriedintakingthechairbesidemine “WordtravelsfastinCypress,”Iremarked.
