Hannah&T.J.
Epulum Appetizers: GGMC Morgantown Companion Series
MirrahMcGee
Copyright©2022MirrahMcGee
PublishedbyMirrahMcGee
authormirrahmcgee@gmail.com
Copyright©2022MirrahMcGee
Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproducedordistributedwithouttheprior writtenconsentoftheauthorexceptfortheuseofquotationsinabookreview.
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Contents
TitlePage
Copyright
ThomasJohn“T.J.”Statler1.
HannahSchmucker2.
T.J.3.
Hannah4. 5.
T.J.6.
Hannah7.
T.J.8.
Hannah9.
T.J.10.
Hannah11.
FollowMe:
ThomasJohn“T.J.”Statler1.
She’s…like an angel. I can’t take my eyes off her as she flits between tables,sharinghersmilewithstrangerswhodon’tdeserveit.Withfilthymen who stare at her small ripe tits and perky virginal ass…and I’m no better. I knowthat.Butnoonewilltreasureher,protecther,loveherasmuchasIdo.
“You’re doing that creepy stalker thing again.” My partner, Officer Myles Waggoner, my best friend, and the man I’m going to stab with my fork.
“I’m not a creepy stalker.” I spit at him through gritted teeth, my eyes glancing at him briefly before I go back to tracking…er…adoringly monitoringtheobjectofmyuncreepyaffection.
“You are watching her every move, snarling, and mumbling to yourself about no one will love her better…might as well get your measurements for yourskinsuitreadyandcallyourselfEdGein.”
Ipointmyforkathimandnarrowmyeyes,“You…”
He laughs when I can’t think of anything else to say, “…are right. I’m right.”
“Ihateyou.”
“Youdon’t,butlet’snotworryaboutthatnow.Howlongexactlyareyou goingtowaitbeforeyouaskherout?It’sbeenlike6months.”
“5months,23days,and2hours.”
“Youshouldhaveathemesong;Ifeellikenobodyutilizestheeffectofa good theme song anymore. Strike fear into the hearts of young ex-Amish women who work at diners while also having a catchy chorus and a sick beat.”
“I’mrequestingapartnertransfer.”
“That’scute.”
“How’s Stan?” I ask, knowing damn well he broke up with that asshole lastweek.
“Deflect much?” Myles rolls his eyes and pretends to toss his short hair over his shoulder. “He called last night. Wanted to know if I was still sure about breaking up. Like after days away from his absurdly long toenails and weird aversion to deodorant I’d suddenly change my mind and want him click-clackingbarefootinmyapartmentsmellingofoldonions.”
“I’m so happy I’m not gay.” He barks out a laugh and throws a home fry atme,butIcatchitinmymouthandsmirkasIchew.
“Yeah, because dating women is so much easier. Although, at this point, I’dsayyouareprobablyaborn-againvirgin.”
“She’s…”
Myles’ voice softens, all teasing gone, “I know. She is something special.” I nod, my eyes drifting to her once again. “That’s why you should ask her on a date. A double with Kallie and Mason, so she feels more comfortable.”
“Huh.” I think over his suggestion, it certainly has merit. A group setting, one that includes her boss/friend/adoptive mother is a good idea. And I like Kallie and Mason. Over the months Myles and I been coming in here,we’veformedafriendshipofourownwiththecouple.
“And here’s Mason now, you should ask him what he thinks.” Myles rushesoutbeforeMasonarrivesatourtable.Mypartnerlooksupinnocently, battinghiseyelashes,“Father.”
Mason huffs, his usual response, “Seriously, is anyone gonna tell me why you keep calling me that?” He leans in closer and lowers his voice, “AndwhyyoukeepaskinghowIpiss?”
Myles shrugs, his lips twitching as he fights a smile, “Standard police questions.”
“Youtwoareridiculous.”
“Hey, I’m not part of this.” I hold up my hands and lean back as far as I caninmychair.
“Anyway, how’s it going?” Mason crosses his arms and stands up to his fullheight.He’sacoupleinchestallerthanmy5’9”.
“It’s quite fortuitous that you should arrive and ask such a question.” Myles begins ominously, “Our dear boy, T.J., wanted to ask you something very important.” I pick my fork back up and twirl it between my fingers, my starethreateningretribution.Mylesisn’tfazed,heneveris.
“Really?” Mason pulls out one of the two empty chairs at our table and sits down. “What can I do for you?” This is why I like him and Kallie. Always willing to help someone out. Hell, Kallie offered Hannah a room at her house and a job the first time they met. A fact which I’m thankful for, sinceitbroughtHannahintomylife.
“Myles suggested that perhaps Hannah would feel more comfortable spending time with me on a double date with you and Kallie. We could get
to know one another without any pressure, and Hannah would feel like she hadsupportorbackuporwhatever.”
“Hmm.” Mason strokes his blonde beard, sitting back in thought. “That justmightwork.”Myshouldersrelaxuntilhesays, “If.”
“If,what?”
“If you pass a simple test to prove your worthiness of our sweet girl, Hannah.”
“Hitme.”Ileanmyarmsonthetable,eagertoshowhimI’mherman.
“If you had to choose a sidekick, who would you choose: JarJar Binks, Nute Gunray, or Vice Admiral Holdo?” Myles and I both laugh, nearly fall off our chairs at the list of options Mason has given me. Some of the worst charactersinthe Star Wars franchise.Amateur.
“Option D, none of the above, I’d rather go it alone than work with any ofthem.”
Mason nods his head approvingly, “Last time you had sex with another person?”
“Uh…” I look over his shoulder as I try to remember, “7 maybe 8 monthsago.”
“You’rewhat,22,23?”
“I’m23.”
“Andyou’retellingmeyouhaven’twetyourdickin8months?”
“Thatiscorrect.Myles?”Ilooktomyfriendfortheassist.
“As much as it pains me as a healthy male in the prime of his life, my celibate friend is telling the truth. It had been a couple months before we came into the diner the first time. He saw Hannah that day, and well, he’s been pining after her ever since. I want to say its pathetic, but its actually kindofsweet.”
“Aw,thanks,Myles.”
“Andlame.It’salsolame.”
“Nice recovery.” Mason rolls his eyes at Myles, turning his focus back onme.“Lastquestion,what,ifany,expectationsdoyouhaveregardingyour timewithHannah?”
“Well, father,” Myles snickers while Mason sneers, “I’d like to get to know her better, and give her the chance to get to know me. I have no expectations, no timeline I want to adhere to. I just want the chance to be in herlifeifshe’llletme.”
“Andyouknowherbackground?”
“Not completely, I know from conversations overheard that she was raised in the Amish community, a few hours from here, and made the difficultchoicetoleave.”
“Mason!”ThethreeofussnaptoattentionatthesoundofKallie’sraised voice. I have the strong urge to take out the trash or cook or clean a table. Something useful that Kallie would approve of. I fight that urge, because I am an adult and a police officer, but it’s a close thing. And judging by the wayMylestwitchesinhisseat,hefeelsthesame.
“Are you the cook or are you a little old lady who likes to sit with her girlfriendsandgossip?”
“Can’tIbeboth?”
“Ugh. Why do I put up with you?” Kallie murmurs more to herself, but Masontakeshislifeinhisownhandsandchoosestoreply.
“Becauseyouloveme?”
“Sure, we’ll go with that.” She places her hand on Mason’s shoulder and meetsmyeyes.“Bytheway,voicestendtocarryinthisplace.HannahandI discussed it, and we’ve agreed to a double date, this Sunday after the diner closes.”
While Myles loses his mind, I sit stunned for several seconds. They heard? They talked about it? She agreed? “Wait, did she really agree or did youstrongarmherintoit?”
“Doesitmatter?”Kallielevelsmewitharaisedeyebrowandasmirk.
“Iwon’tdateheragainstherwill.”
“Oh,there’swill,T.J.,Ipromise,andIjustfoundyoutheway.”
HannahSchmucker2.
Twodays.TwomoredaysandthenIgoonmyfirstdate.Withaboy.No, a man. An extremely handsome, kind, funny man. With short dark hair, soulful eyes green like the grass in summer, and the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard. It calls to me just as the music on the car radio did all those monthsago.
And that is downright terrifying. My stomach feels like bird wings flappingandmyhearthammersinmychest,andmypalmssweat.
I’ve come a long way over the last several months I’ve been working here at Epulum and living with Kallie, the diner manager. She’s my best friend, big sister, and a mom all rolled in one, and I love her. Mason too. Theybothhavehelpedmeadjusttosecularlife,broadenedmyhorizons,and taughtmesomuch.
Myles, Thomas John’s partner on the police force, is a homosexual. He’s a funny man, respectful, and is obviously a loyal friend to Thomas John. However, I was raised that homosexuality was a sin. Mason, Kallie, and the girls at the diner had many talks with me on the subject and I sat through hoursofmovies,tvshows,andonlinevideos.
But it was a quote from Kallie’s favorite romance author, Cee Bowerman, that I think helped the most. “You better worry about your own sins because God’s not going to ask you about mine.” If homosexuality is a sin, his sin does not affect my life in any way. Regardless of his sexual preferences, he is not hurting anyone, and has proven himself to be a good man. And if I’ve learned anything during my time in Morgantown, it’s the actionsofothersthatareatruetestamenttowhotheyareattheircore.
And if at night, when I’m lying in bed before I fall asleep, saying my prayers, and one happens to be that I’m glad his sexual preferences do not includeThomasJohn…thennooneknowsitbutmeandtheLord.
I still can’t fathom that in two days I’ll be going on a double date with ThomasJohn.WhenMasonwasinterrogatinghimtheotherdayinthediner, Kallie and I couldn’t help but listen. It made my heart sing that Mason took his role as the only male figure in my life so seriously that he would vet potential suitors. However, it was Thomas John’s heartfelt response that he
just wanted a chance to be in my life that had my body thrumming like a symphony.
I glance up at the doors to the diner when the bells ring. A large bouquet of flowers obscures who is carrying them, but when they lower them to the side, I see an older gentleman with a flower company logo on his buttondownshirt.
“Hello, welcome to Epulum, how may I help you?” I step out from behindthecounterandapproachthehostessstandtogreethim.
“I’m looking for Hannah Schmucker.” My eyes widen in shock, flitting betweenthemanandthegorgeousbouquet.
“I-I’mHannah.”Istammer,wipingmysweatyhandsonmyapron.
“These are for you, dear.” He hands over the glass vase and then quickly takes it back. “How about you tell me where to put them, they look like they’ll knock you over.” I laugh as I lead him back to the counter and indicateanemptyspotneartheend.
“Thankyou,sir.Theyareexquisite.”
“You’re welcome, I don’t grow them, I just deliver them. But I’ll pass alongyourpraises.”
“Please do.” With a wave, he leaves the diner and I’m left staring at the onlyflowersI’veeverbeengiven.
“Are you gonna read the card?” Remy asks from my side. Amongst the lilies and white roses and baby’s breath, I hadn’t even noticed the white envelope until she pointed it out. Removing it from the bouquet, I open it andpullthecardout.
“Beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman. Looking forward to Sunday T.J.”
“How romantic!” Remy gushes, her hands perched under her chin as she sways back and forth. I giggle at her reaction, only to hide my own excitement.
“Kallie is taking me on Saturday to get a manicure, a pedicure, my eyebrows waxed, and something called a Brazilian. Do you think he’ll like that?”Shechokesonastartledlaugh,butIdon’tunderstandwhat’ssofunny.
“Shedidn’texplainwhataBrazilianis?”
“No, I thought it was a spicy massage or face cream?” Why does that makeherlaughharder?
“It could end with a spicy face cream.” I think that’s what she says, but I can’tbesurethewayhervoicerises,plusitdoesn’tmakeanysense.Sensing
my discomfort, Remy sobers quickly, “Sorry, Hannah. I don’t think it means what you think it means, but I’m gonna let Kallie explain it to you.” She hugs me, trailing her fingers over the white flowers as she backs away, “I’m sohappyforyou,OfficerStatlerisaniceman.”
“He is, isn’t he?” I turn back to the flowers, a new flock of birds taking flight in my tummy. I haven’t seen him for a couple of days, and I didn’t realizeuntiljustnowhowmuchI’vemissedhim.
Sundaycan’tcomesoonenough.
T.J.3.
I hate that feeling when time slows down. I know it’s a measured unit and cannot be changed, but when you want something, when you’re excited, it always seems to take forever. And when you finally get it, when all you want to do is take your time and relish in whatever it is you’ve been waiting for…timespeedsup.
All week I’ve been waiting for today. My date with Hannah. It’s been a stressfulweek.Oneofourfellowofficers,LawrenceFontaine,wentmissing. And while Waggoner, I, and several others on the force were concerned and askingwhatwecoulddotohelp,manyotherswerereluctanttoliftafucking finger. Fontaine’s new partner, Winston and Chief Ferrenton were particularly squirrely. Captain Thomas is a decent guy, he at least appeared tobemakinganefforttofindourmissingbrotherinblue.
Rumors have been running rampant that the Golem Guerillas MC is responsibleforhisdisappearance,butIdon’tbuyitforasecond.
Dressed in jeans, a heather gray t-shirt that reads: “Surely, not everyone was kung-fu fighting”, and tennis shoes, I grab my wallet, phone, keys, and lock up behind me as I make my way to my car. It’s a beautiful summer day in Morgantown, West Virginia and I’m about to pick up my girl for our muchanticipatedfirstdate.Lifeisgood.
Myphoneringsafewminutesintomycarride,it’sMyles.“Yo.”
“Theyfoundhim.”
I sit up in my seat, my eyes focused on the road, but my attention on Myles.“Wedid?”
“No, GGMC found him and took him to Pittsburgh for medical treatment.”Isnort,thinkingaboutallthehushedwhispersoftheirguilt.
“So, they kidnapped him, then pretended to find him and took him for help?”
“Yeah, right.” Myles guffaws and it makes my smile widen. “He’s in roughshape,likecomatose,maynotmakeit.Buthe’salive.”
“AndChiefisprobablyshittinghimself.”
“That would be my guess. I talked to Campbell briefly, texted her to see if there was anything you and I could do to help in the search efforts. Said
they found him and took him to Pittsburgh because no one here can be trusted.Idon’tblamethematall.”
“5 days.” I shake my head, unable to fathom the kind of pain that man has suffered in that amount of time. And I bet it was a slow ticking of the clockforhim.
“Yeah.” His voice is gruff, no doubt thinking the same as me. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you the good news. I know you’ve got your 7th grade doubledatehappeninginafew.”
“Fuckyou.Whatwereyoudoinginthe7th grade?”
“Jerking off. Same as I do now. Nothing’s changed. Just the size of my dick.”
“Goodbye.”
“Remembertoholdthedoorandpulloutherchairandpopabreathmint before you kiss her on the cheek.” We disconnect on a laugh. I only laugh harderwhenIrealizethatisexactlywhatmyplanisfortonight.
Regardless of how she left the Amish community, regardless of how muchshe’sembracedthesecularworldaroundher,Ihavenodoubtthereare still some ideals that she holds close to her heart. She and I won’t be engaging in a physical relationship until we’ve married. And while I’m fuckingreadytowalkdowntheaislerightnow,Iknowsheneedstime.
Fuckingtime.
I pull into Kallie and Hannah’s driveway and walk to the front door. I ring the doorbell and wait. When the door opens, I reach for my side arm, belatedly remembering I’m not on duty. The barrel of a gun points at me through the screen door. When the trigger is depressed, I’m squirted in the facewithwaterwhileMasonlaughshisassoff.
“I’m a police officer, you remember that, right?” He waves his hands in understanding, not able to form coherent words yet. “If I’d been armed, I wouldhaveshotyou.”
“Totally worth the look on your face.” I shake my head, open the screen door and push him out of the way. “They’re just about ready.” I nod. “We missedyouthisweekatthediner.”
“Really?”Heshrugs.
“You’vegrownonme,youandyourpartner,likeafootfungus.”
“It’s no wonder Kallie snatched you right up.” I sigh, running my hand over my short hair. “One of our officers was abducted earlier this week. I
just got word from Waggoner that they found him. Well, GGMC did, and tookhimtoPittsburghfortreatment.It’snotlookinggood.”
“Ohshit,uh…”hesnapshisfingers,“Fontaine,right?”
“Yeah.”
“Kallie said something about that when Jupiter and Mars checked in to let her know they would be busy and to only reach out for emergencies. She’ll be happy to hear he was found.” Turning away, he walks into the kitchenandgrabshisphone.“I’llputinaremindertocookupsomecomfort foodandsendittotheclubhouse.”
“That’sniceofyouman.”
“ShouldIsendsometothestation?”
“Fuck no. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them were involved with hisdisappearance.”
“Oh.”
“Come stand by the steps and marvel at our glory.” Kallie calls out, and the heavy topic of Fontaine is forgotten as Mason and I walk to the stairs to do just that. Kallie looks pretty as usual, but my eyes are glued to Hannah. Herblondehairislooseandcurledattheends,hangingdowntothesmallof her back. Her whiskey eyes pop and I’m guessing they did something to make that happen, and whatever it is I like it. She’s wearing a thick strapped sleeveless light blue sundress that hangs to her knees, modestly cupping her small breasts, and accentuating her slight frame. Her nails are painted a similarbluetoherdress,hertoesmatchpeekingoutofwhitesandals.
I meet her at the bottom of the steps and hold my hand out for hers. Looking her in the eyes, I tell her, “You look absolutely beautiful, Hannah.” Hercheeksblushandshedipsherchinatmywords.
“Thank you, Thomas John.” I like how she says my full name, no one elsedoes.Notevenmyparents.
“Kallie,youlooklovelyaswell.”IofferwhenIfeelhereyesonme.She waves off my compliment. “You both will need to bring a pair of socks with you.”
“What?Theywon’tgowithouroutfits.”Kalliecomplains.
“Sorry,demsdarules.”Itease,leadingHannahtothefrontdoor.
“Wherearewegoing?”Kallieasks.
“Whereyouarenevertoooldtohavefun.”
“T.J.,” Mason begins with a smirk, “I don’t think a sex club is the best firstdateforHannah.”KalliesmackshimsoIdon’thaveto,andIgivehera
chin lift of appreciation. Hannah giggles, allowing me to open the passenger sidedoorofmycarandhelpingherin.
“We’re too old to sit in the back.” Mason bitches when I walk to the driver’sside.
“Come on, gramps, we can neck in the back like teenagers while we’re chauffeuredaroundlikethewealthy.”
“Ooh.” They hurry into the backseat, I start the car, and reverse out of the driveway. We discuss their week at the diner, Hannah thanks me for the flowers, and Kallie thanks me for activating her allergies. Hannah surprises all of us by turning around in the car and telling Kallie to take an antihistamineandzipit,theflowersstay.
Iwon’tlietoyou,mycockjerksatherfeistiness.
Whenwepulluptothearcade,KallieandMasoncheer,whileHannahis adorably confused. “They have video games, bowling, good food that’s bad foryou,andajukebox.”
“I don’t know what any of that means, not exactly, but I’m excited anyway.”HannahexclaimswhenIhelpheroutofthecar.
I take a hold of her hand, looking down at her, “Is it ok if I hold your hand?”
“Yes.”Heranswerissoftandshyandsweetashell.Withanextrapepin mystep,Iescortherintothebuildingforanightofgoodold-fashionedfun.
Hannah4.
“And people find it fun to wear shoes others have worn before?” I ask, perplexed by the notion that I have to put on these ugly shoes that someone else, probably many someone else’s has perspired in, completely unaware of theirownpersonalhygiene.
“They’re sprayed with a disinfectant after each use.” Mason reassures me.I’mnotsurehowreassuredIactuallyam,though.
“Do they do that with the bowling balls? I have to stick my finger inside theballwithoutanyknowledgeofwhatisinsideit.”
“There’s nothing inside it, it’s empty, like a bowling ball.” Kallie tells me, her voice slow and measured like she is speaking to a child. An unintelligent child. After listening to the three of them enthusiastically explain the game of bowling, I’m not sure I’m the one who can be consideredunintelligent.
“Is there a purpose? To this game, besides knocking down the pin things?”
“Toseewhocanknockdownthemostaftertenturns.”
I look at Thomas John and smile, unable to help myself. It’s sweet he wants to teach me, just like he did with skee-ball, whack-a-mole, pinball, Pac-Man,andDonkeyKong.“Doesthisgameparlayintoausefulskill?”
HelookstoKallieandMason,“Isbraggingrightsausefulskill?”
“Depends what you’re bragging about.” Mason thinks about it, stroking his beard before raising his finger in the air. “Saying your good at checkers doesn’t mean much, saying your good at hitting specific targets with a scientificallycalibratedsphericalprojectileismoreimpressive.”
I shake my head, a laughter bubbling up at Mason’s quirkiness. He is unlike any male I have ever encountered. I enjoy my time with him immensely. And in a completely different way than I enjoy my time with Thomas John. Mason doesn’t give me the warm tingles in my lower belly or causes my heart to skip a beat when he holds my hand or send my mind racinginallmannerofinappropriatedirectionswhenhesmilesatme.
“How much of your resume is accurate and not just a long-winded fabrication of your imagination?” Kallie wonders, staring at Mason with concernedhumor.
He shrugs, picking up his ball and spinning it in his hands. “You’ve neverseenmyresume,butI’dsayabout73%.”
“That is a strangely specific number.” Thomas John muses, guiding me to our seats while Mason stretches. Is there running involved? I thought we justtossedtheheavyballdownthealleyatthosewhitethings.Idonotenjoy running.
“I’m a strangely specific guy.” Mason finally holds the ball in front of him, pulls his arm back, strides forward, then hurtles it down the polished hardwood floor. “6 pins.” He shakes his head morosely, stretches again and turns his back on the ball. I blink in shock when exactly 6 pins are knocked down.
“Howdidyou…?”Iask.
Mason smiles at me, standing at the ball return, “I really like bowling, butI’mnotverygoodatit.I’mactuallybetteratcheckers.”Ithrowmyhead back on a laugh, Kallie and Thomas John joining me. Mason’s ball rolls downtherack,sohepicksitupandgoesthroughthesameprocessagain.“2 pins.”
“Can you do this with lottery tickets?” Kallie wraps her arms around his middle, resting her head on his chest as he watches his ball knock down the twopinsontheleftside.
“Nope.So,don’tbegettinganyideasofmebeingyoursugardaddy.You are older than me, I should be the sugar baby. You can start by spoiling me withabeer.”Hepatsherbuttocksandplopsdownintheseatacrossfromus.
“Are you having a good time, Hannah?” Thomas John leans down to whisper in my ear. I nod, my eyes trained on my ugly ill-fitting shoes, my cheeks heating from his closeness. “Me too. May I…may I hold your hand again?” Iplacemyhandpalmuponmythighandbarelyholdbackasighof contentmentwhenhewrapshislongfingersaroundme.Hishandisperfect.
Justlikeourfirstdate.
Over the course of our ten frames, I discover that Thomas John is quite thebowler,Kallie isscarily competitive, Masonis,infact,probablybetter at checkers,hecan’tbemuchworse,atanyrate.Andme,I’mnotanatural,but I hold my own. I still don’t understand the game, but it is fun. I guess that’s the point, not everything has to have a purpose, a usefulness. Some things justexistbecausewhynot?
Overall, the arcade is someplace I would like to come back to with ThomasJohn…andonlyhim.Notyet.Inthefuture.
On our drive back to Kallie’s house, I blush redder than a cherry tomato at the sounds Mason and Kallie produce in the backseat of Thomas John’s car. He just smiles goofily, holding my hand on the console, his thumb tracingmyknuckles.Everysweepofhisroughdigithassomethingpowerful shootingupmyarmanddownmyspine,likelightning.
They thank Thomas John for driving and a great evening out when we pullintothedriveway.“HannahpicksnextSunday.”Masonthrowsoutthere astheyopentheirdoorsandgetout.
The silence of the vehicle after their departure has those belly birds flapping. I’m afraid to look at him, scared he would be able to see the sinful thoughts that clog my mind, and yet I know I can’t leave his side until I’ve seenhiseyesonelasttimetonight.
“Would you like to go out again next Sunday?” He asks, his voice just above a hoarse whisper. I nod, squeezing his hand. He lets out a long exhale with a chuckle. “Good. That’s good. Me too. I think Mason is right, you should choose what we do. I’ve introduced you to something in my world, howaboutyoueducateusonsomethingfromyours?”
“Oh.” I gasp out, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. What would wedo?Idon’timaginetheywanttowashlaundrybyhandorchurnbutteror milkacow.
“Ifyouwantto…”
“No, I do. I just need to think on it and come up with something.” I finallyliftmychinandbringmygazeuptomeethis.Thereheis.Slowly,he raiseshislefthandandcupsmycheek.Iclosemyeyesinvoluntarily,leaning intohistouch.
“Hannah.” My name from his mouth…so much closer than he was just a moment before. “May I kiss you?” I nod again, it appears to be the only thing I’m capable of around him. I’ve never been kissed before. Everything with him is brand new and so exciting. I feel him lean in and my lips part in anticipation. Normally clean shaven, the slight prickle of his 5 o’clock shadow takes me by surprise, especially when I feel his soft lips on my cheek instead of my mouth. He pulls back after only a few seconds, harsh breathing in my ear. “If I kiss your sweet lips, Hannah, I won’t be able to stop.Tonight…thisisthebestdateI’veeverbeenon,andIhopeitisthefirst ofmany.”
“Thomas John.” His name is a grateful exhale as I pull back and regain control of myself. There are many things about my Amish upbringing that I
haveturnedmybackon,butthesanctityofmybodyisnotoneofthem.Iam thankful beyond words that he understands that and recognizes my boundaries…betterthanIdo.
“I would like to call you and text you. May I do that?” I open my eyes and smile as I pull out my phone and hand it over. He frowns, raising his eyes in censure even as he opens my contacts and enters his information. “HaveKallieorMasonshowyouhowtolockyourphonewithapasscodeor fingerprint.”
“Iwill.”Idropmyeyes,butnotinembarrassment.Astrangeheatsurges through my lower belly and between my thighs at his protectiveness. He opens his car door and exits, coming around to mine. With my hand in his, hehelpsmefrommyseatandescortsmetothefrontdoor.
“Thank you, Hannah, for giving me a chance. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Up on my toes, I kiss his cheek chastely, stepping back, and rushing through thefrontdoorbeforehehastimetoreact.
“Hussy.”IspinaroundonceI’veclosedandlockedthefrontdoortofind Masonstandinginthekitchendoorway.
“What?” I can’t believe he would say that. “It was a peck on the cheek! I’ve given you the same!” His head tips back and a loud booming laugh fills thehouse.
“Yes, but you don’t want in my pants.” My jaw nearly hits the ground, I can’tbelievehewould…justlike…
“Haveyouno—”
“Probably not.” He cuts me off with a wave. Moving to stand in front of me, he rests his hands on my shoulders and kisses my forehead. “You like him?” I nod, unable to hide how I feel about him, even if I wanted to. “Then everything your feeling is natural and good. You are not committing a sin, you are not damning yourself to an eternity in hell, you are a young woman inthebeginningoflike…orpossiblylove.”
“I believe love is a distinct possibility.” I confirm. “But…I’m not ready…I still want to wait until marriage. Is that stupid?” He hugs me to him, giving me the comfort, I no longer have from my father or brother, and Iclingtoit,tohim,likealifeline.
“What did I tell you? Nothing you want, nothing you feel is wrong. If T.J.istherightmanforyou,thenitwon’tfeellikewaiting.”
“IsthathowyoufeltaboutKallie?”Itease.
“Hell no.” He pushes me away and walks toward the stairs. “I’m an impatient man and that woman is too hard to resist. She’s lucky I didn’t mountherinthekitchenofthediner.”
“Idon’tbelieveyou,Mason.”
He shrugs, halfway up the stairs, his eyes trained to where her bedroom door is. “It didn’t feel like waiting, Hannah, it felt like the journey I was alwaysmeanttotake.Andwhowantstorushsuchanadventure?”
5.
Monday
T.J.: Good morning, sweetheart.
Hannah: Good morning, Thomas John. How are you this morning?
T.J.: Tired.
Hannah: Oh, were you not able to sleep last night?
T.J.: Not really, I was chasing you in my dreams.
Hannah: I showed your message to Kallie, and she said to tell you, “Lame.”, but I like it. I dreamed about you last night too.
T.J.: Tell Kallie she is voluntarily dating Mason, so…
T.J.: What were your dreams about? Was I doing manly things?
Hannah: You wore a pink spaghetti strap dress and helped me fight against an invading army of bowling pins, while my father whittled on the front porch.
T.J.: Not where I thought you were going when you mentioned dreaming of me, but I’ll take it. Tell me I was at least wearing the dress in a manly fashion while I saved you from the violent hoard of pins?
Hannah: I am not comfortable with lying.
Tuesday
Hannah: How was your shift?
T.J.: Uneventful.
Hannah: That’s good. I enjoyed having lunch with you and Myles today. Thank you for surprising me.
T.J.: My pleasure. I especially liked how you hid behind me when you and Myles started fighting with food.
Hannah: I’m resourceful.
T.J.: That you are. Tell me, how did you get to Morgantown? You’re from Mason county, right? That’s like over three hours away.
Hannah: My parents gave me a small amount of money when I left. Mother told me how to get to the women’s shelter. I spent a few weeks there,
helping out and learning how to speak in secular society The director drove me to Morgantown and dropped me off at a shelter here. I stayed there for a couple of days before one of the volunteers told me about the diner. I met Kallie there and moved into her house an hour later.
T.J.: You’re incredibly lucky. I’ve been reading about people who left the Amish community. Many do not fare as well as you.
Hannah: My parents are devout; however, they do love my siblings and I very much. They are disappointed that I chose to leave but respect my personal path. Not openly, of course, otherwise they would be exiled. For most, it can be a violent and disturbing separation. I am thankful to the Lord every day for his grace and leniency as I find my way.
Hannah: Did you feel a calling to join the police force?
T.J.: I think in a way I did. My family is big on service. Military. Fire department. Police. I wanted to help people, make a difference, even when I knew our city officials work tirelessly to do the opposite. Myles and I considered quitting this last year, however, the GolemGuerillasMC changed our minds. We don’t know any of them, but they gave us hope.
Hannah: Hope is a very powerful tool to have.
T.J.: It is. When I met you, when I saw you the first time…I heard it again. The calling. I felt it. I knew you were meant to be in my life. I wanted everything but hoped for just a chance.
Hannah: Thomas John, that is so sweet, you’ve made me cry.
T.J.: Shoot. Dry your eyes, sweetheart, if Kallie or Mason see you crying, they’ll rip me to pieces.
Hannah: No, they won’t. They’ll see they are happy tears. I felt it too. It was all so overwhelming. I apologize for making you wait so long.
T.J.: Never apologize for doing what is right for you. If you hadn’t already noticed, I’m not going anywhere. I would have waited a lifetime for that chance, Hannah, and I’ll wait a lifetime for another.
Hannah: How about 5 days instead?
T.J.: I think I can handle that…so long as I get to have lunch with you every day.
Hannah: I’m not going anywhere either.
Wednesday
T.J.: I’m sorry, I couldn’t see you today Myles and I had a call and we ended up missing our lunch break. We’ll make it up to you tomorrow, we’ll have two lunches.
Hannah: Haha! Thank you for texting me, I worried something might have happened to you. I’m glad you are all right.
T.J.: I’m great because I’m talking to you.
Hannah: I miss your squishy face and fish lips and the way your back hunches and how
T.J.: Hello, Father Mason. Give my girl back her phone.
Hannah: Sorry, he stole it from me and wouldn’t give it back. Kallie had to tackle him.
Hannah: Why do you and Myles call him Father?
T.J.: You’ll have to ask Kallie.
Hannah: That’s no fair, she won’t tell me either
Thursday
Hannah: Hi.
T.J.: Is there a reason you are texting me when I’m sitting right next to you?
Hannah: I just wanted to say that I really like spending time with you.
T.J.: And you didn’t want Myles to make fun of you or me.
Hannah: And I didn’t want Myles to make fun of us.
“For Pete’s sake, I can see you two texting each other and the ridiculous grins that have taken over your faces. You’re so cute…it sickens me, right downtomyglittery-gaysoul.
Friday
T.J.: I wish today was Sunday.
Hannah: Oh?
T.J.: I want to go out on our date, I want to see what you have planned. I want to hold your hand.
Hannah: Do you mind going slow? I know you are experienced…
T.J.: I have had three girlfriends in my short life. Its not like I’m a serial Playboy. And I don’t think its going slow. I think we are traveling at the exact speed we are supposed to. This isn’t a race, Hannah. I HOPE we are
building something together that will last a lifetime. There is no set schedule for when we progress to the next level. And I’m in no hurry to rush the process.
Hannah: I don’t want to disappoint you.
T.J.: The only way you could ever disappoint me is if you pushed yourself before you were ready. And even then, I’d probably be more disappointed in myself for pushing you without realizing it.
Hannah: You have pushed me, but in a good way. Just like Kallie and Mason do. Just like the girls at the diner. You all push me to dig deeper, try harder, work smarter to figure out who I am and what I want from life.
T.J.: You are an incredible woman, Hannah. I’m fortunate to witness your self-discovery
Hannah: You say such wonderful things, Thomas John.
T.J.: I mean every word.
Saturday
T.J.: Can you at least give me a hint?
Hannah: No.
Hannah: I’m sorry, I can give you a hint. But I won’t.
T.J.: Thank you for the explanation.
Hannah: You’re welcome.
T.J.: I was being sarcastic.
Hannah: I know.
Hannah: If it makes you feel better, Kallie and Mason are suffering in the dark as well, since I won’t share my plans with them either.
T.J.: At least they have company in the dark. To comfort them through the lonely nights.
Hannah: Call Myles.
T.J.: For such a sweet, pious young woman, you certainly have a cruel streak.
Hannah: I know, I just discovered it recently. Isn’t it awesome?
T.J.: It is, sweetheart, it is. Just maybe, don’t use it against me.
Hannah: I make no promises.
T.J.6.
“You look…capable.” I wince once the word leaves my mouth; no woman wants to be told they look capable. But give me a break, Hannah is dressedinjeans,sturdyboots,andaflannel.Inthesummer.
“ArewegoingtoCanada?Please,letitbeCanada.”Thethreeofusstare atMasonashesqueezeshiseyesshuttightandcrosseshisfingers.
“Do you ever feel like maybe, just maybe, you’re raising a child anyway?” Hannah whispers loudly to Kallie, who shrugs and pushes Mason towardmycar.
“AmIdressed—”
“You also look capable.” Hannah teases. I’ve got jeans, boots, and a tshirt that has a picture of a dinosaur and says, “Philosoraptor”. “I like your shirt.”
“Thanks.So,wherearewegoing?”
“Toaplace.”Igroanathervagueanswer,roundingthecarandgettingin the driver’s seat after closing her door. She hands me a piece of paper with handwrittendirectionsonit.“Followthese.”
“Wearen’tgoingtoCanada,arewe?”
“Sorry,Mason.Wearenot.”
“Well,perhapsanothertime.”
“Have you always wanted to go to Canada?” I ask Mason, meeting his eyesintherearviewmirror.
“I’vebeentoCanadalike12times.”
“What?” Kallie rounds on him, “Then why do you want to go now so bad?”
He wraps his arm around her and kisses the top of her head. “Because I likegoingtotheDuty-Freeshop.”
I look at Kallie with a quirked eyebrow and she sticks her tongue out at me. “Don’t even. I know, I chose him. In my defense, I didn’t have all the informationwhenImadethatdecision.”
“What more did you need to know? I can cook, really well, I’m funny, haveadelightfulpersonality,amsmokinghot,andfantasticinbed.”
I tune their bickering out, and peer at Hannah out of the corner of my eye. Her face is flaming as usual when something taboo is mentioned,
however,she’ssmilingandglancingatmeeveryfewseconds.
“I cannot cook really well, but we wouldn’t die of starvation. I’d like to think I have a good sense of humor, but Myles is probably not the best person to gauge it by. I’m one of the most boring 23-year-olds you’ll ever meet. And while I am moderately attractive, I cannot speak to my skills in the bedroom…because that would be uncouth and more importantly, I don’t wanttolietobuildmyselfup.”
She wraps her soft hand around mine, and leans her head on my shoulder, pointing out our next turn. “I happen to find you to be interesting, humorous, sweet, thoughtful, driven, and extremely handsome.” She whispers for my ears only. “And as for the other…” I can hear the strain in her voice, as she forces herself to speak, “what you were like in the past is irrelevant. If, when, you and I reach that stage in our relationship, it will be onlyyouandIinourbed.Wewilllearntogetherwhatgivesuspleasure.”
“Holy shit! That was fucking hot. Why don’t you ever talk to me like that?”
Kalliesighs,it’salong-sufferingsoundthatIfeelinmybones.“Because younevershutuplongenoughforotherstospeak.”
“I just did, and you chose to put me down rather than build me up.” Hannah giggles, looking at him over her shoulder, as he pouts in the back seat.
“No. Really?” I ask a few minutes later when I pull into the industrial buildingthathousesthelumberjackactivities.
“You were listening.” Mason squeezes Hannah’s shoulders and then throws himself out of the vehicle in excitement, Kallie following behind him.
She peers up at me with a shy smile, “I overheard Jupiter and Drusilla telling Mason about their first date. He took her to throw axes in Pittsburgh, and it got me thinking. So, I found out we had one here. There’s axe throwing,archery,knives…Doyoulikeit?”
“Absolutely.” I tell her, unable to resist kissing her forehead. I rest mine againsthersandlookintohereyes.“Doyoulikeit?”
“I’ve worked with axes and knives all my life. Usually not for recreational purposes, but when work needs done and you’re a man or two short.” She shrugs, then lifts her hands up to rest on my shoulders, her fingersplayingintheshorthaironthebackofmyhead.
“You’re incredible.” I tell her. I don’t think she believes me, not yet, but shewill.
After paying and running through safety procedures, we’re taken over to the axe throwing area. I volunteer to go last. Mason is first and bouncing on the balls of his feet the whole time, and he isn’t bad. Kallie puts so much force behind her throw that the thud of it hitting the target seems to echo through the building. Her smile when she turns around is blinding, it would appearwe’vefoundanewhobbyforthedinermanager.
Hannahstepsupnext,theaxetoobigforhersmallframe.Ialmostmove behind her to help her when she lifts it above her head and launches it down the lane. Bullseye. Hot damn. Her delivery was flawless, her body powerful andsensuousasshemoved.Shewaspoetryinmotion.
I scoop her up to celebrate, lifting her into the air and spinning around. Her head thrown back, her arms wrapped around my neck tightly, the feel of her lush body pressed against mine…and the fact that she can throw an axe withdeadlyaccuracy.I’mhardasarock.
I start to slide her down, and she surprises me by linking her ankles behind my back and pressing her lips to mine. Its soft and tender, just like her.AndifIwasn’tagonerbefore,Idefinitelyamnow.
Hannah7.
“That dress is gorgeous on you, Hannah.” Kallie tells me, her eyes meeting mine in the full-length mirror in her room. “I still think you should haveletmetakeyouagain,insteadofRem—”
“You paid a woman to rip off half of my…vagina.” I whisper the last word,stillnotcomfortablespeakingofmybodysoopenly.
“It’s a Brazilian wax.” We’ve had this argument more than once in the lasttwoandahalfmonths.
“I don’t know why the women of Brazil despise their vaginas and body hair so much, but that’s between them and God. I’m fine with hair, I say the morehairthebetter.”
Snorting, Kallie sweeps my long hair over my shoulder, “No, you don’t. And I wouldn’t go making any declarations before you’ve had the chance to hearwhatT.J.hastosay.”
“Do men…do men really like it…bald?” It doesn’t make any sense to me. Of course, it took me a little while to appreciate smooth legs and underarms.There’ssomethingdistinctlyfeminineaboutthelook.
Sheshrugs,“Somedo,somedon’t,somedon’tcareaslongasitgetswet andadmitsthementranceintothethemepark.”
“What?” I stare at her quizzically in the mirror, but as usual, when she sayssomethingIdon’tfullyunderstandshelaughsandmoveson.
“Thisdressneedssomething,andIknowexactlywhatit—”
“Didyoudoityet?Didyougiveittoher?AmItoolate?”Masoncomes rushing into the bedroom, sliding to a stop. “Oh. Hannah.” His eyes glitter withunshedtearsandnowmynoseisstinging.“Youlookbeautiful.”
“Thankyou,Mason.”
“Iwasjustabouttogiveittoher,andyouruinedthemoment.”
“I don’t ruin, I enhance.” He tells us, snatching the box out of Kallie’s handsandholdingitoutinfrontofme.
“Whatisit?”Iask,evenasIreachtograbit.
“Acar.”Kalliedeadpans.
“Have you perfected the Pym particle like in Ant-Man?” Kallie smiles andkissesmeonmycheek.
“I’m so proud of you, Hannah. Your sarcasm is so natural, effortless. It doesasurrogateadoptivemothermanagerroomieproud.”
I open the box and gasp when I see the silver charm necklace nestled inside. “A cross for your faith. A dagger for your courage and strength. A lemon tree for your continuous growth and the love and friendship of those around you. And an elephant to remove the obstacles of life so you may be prosperousandpeaceful.”
Tears slip unchecked from my eyes as I listen to Mason’s heartfelt explanation. Kallie wraps her arms around his middle and rests her head on his chest, her neck arched to stare at him in awe. Their love has been inspirational and a joy to watch bloom. I can only pray that Thomas John andIareasfortunateastheyareandblessedinourrelationship.
“Thank you.” I try to speak, no sound comes out as I mouth the words, but they understand anyway. The three of us hug, Mason kisses the top of my head, spitting exaggeratedly when he tastes the hairspray, then Kallie is usheringmeintothebathroomtofixwhatlittlemakeupIhaveon.
Thomas John is taking me on a date tonight. Our fourth by ourselves, however, this one is more formal, though I am unaware of where we are going. We’ve been teasing one another with secret locations and having way toomuchfunwithit.Kallie andMasoncame withusforawhile,wantingto make sure that Thomas John was a gentleman and that I was sure about my feelings for him. I appreciated their concern. Our solo dates have been… they’veinvolvedquiteabitofkissing.Andyouwon’thearmecomplaining. Ilovekissinghim.Ialwaysthoughtitwasgross,mixingsalivaandtouching tongues, but I gotta say, its amazing. A connection to him that I share with nooneelse.
Caughtupinthedesiresofmybody,I’vepushedatimeortwoformore, but he respectfully held back, knowing that my body may be ready, but my brain and heart are set on marriage. He doesn’t make fun of me for my antiquated ideals, he respects them and keeps me on the right path, even whenmyhandsgoexploring.
To be honest, though, I cannot imagine feeling this way about anyone else. None of the men I grew up around ever elicited this type of response and evoked such emotion. Music is the only thing to ever come close; ThomasJohnismymusic;heisthemelodythatplaysinmyheart.
“I’llgetit.”Masonhollerswhenthedoorbellrings.
