Returning to ‘normal’

Combatting anxiety

When school resumed in September, Heads across the country hoped for a calmer term. We all knew, however, that returning to normality would bring challenges.

The pandemic has brought us close to our vulnerabilities, to loss and grief. It would be wrong to presume that children are immune to the difficult feelings which may arise out of change. Children in Year 2 have never experienced a ‘normal’, primary school year… Experts tell us that children’s emotional development has been delayed. The most fleeting Google search will point to a plethora of evidence. Much remains unknown about the effects of the pandemic on our children, but we can, and should, approach the return-toschool routine in the same way one might think about developmental trauma: over the last 18 months, children have been exposed to a myriad of distressing situations – a collection of smaller traumas, which, put together, affect children just as a single, large trauma does: the pandemic, losing close ones, worrying about missing school, exams, eco-anxiety… You name it – it is on the list.

We must prepare the children for change, by discussing it openly, honestly, with them and with their parents. Asking about their feelings won’t heighten their anxiety; it will give them psychological safety, enabling them to feel listened to and not judged. Teachers must be prepared: the language needs to be age-appropriate, and reassuring. Children’s feelings and needs will vary; our responses should reflect this. By welcoming questions, by containing anxiety, we can help children regain the ability to manage their ‘panic button’ and to become less reactive to changes. What is crucial in our pastoral toolkit today, will remain relevant tomorrow; children may experience trauma for the foreseeable future.

SANDRINE PAILLASSE is Head at St Christopher’s School, Hampstead and a psychotherapist. www.stchristophers.london

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