Second How a Spy story. Fruit Expert Became a Candied

Lilia Sova had a successful business but she lost it in the war. Likewise, she lost her house and everything she had been creating for years. After the bitter experience at the frontline, the decision to start all over again was a very difficult one. This is a story of how the coaching program under the All4One Project helped her.

With the war, Lilia Sova became a spy behind enemy lines

“I was happy before the war. And at that time I already knew it for sure –it wasn’t something I realized only when I lost everything. I remember going out on the terrace of my house in Donetsk and thinking, ‘Oh Lord, what a happy person I am! I got everything I wanted in life,’ Lilia Sova recalls. She had an impeccable reputation, a successful property valuation business, and a wide range of acquaintances. In her life there was everything that she needed –her family, her own house, a work that she loved, and wealth. But the war changed everything. Lilia did not leave Donetsk immediately. Many people whom she knew personally became the military leadership of the self-proclaimed republic. And instead of appraising property, Lilia took up a different line of work: she became a spy behind enemy lines. “They couldn’t determine for a long time who was informing on them. I recall how once, at the table, their head told me: ‘A certain Lily Sova has been around here; when I find her, I’ll cut her into stripes with my knife!’ And he was talking about me! I was sitting there by his side,” Lilia tells her story. The tension was growing because the spy could be exposed any moment. She says she became terribly paranoid then, for she could expect danger from anywhere.

When they finally exposed her and were about to catch her, Lily miraculously managed to escape. For three years, she was in service with our military at the frontline. With them, she felt much safer than in Donetsk. However, the fear of someone coming to get her did not disappear. Even after returning to peaceful life that feeling did not leave her for a long time: “For about a year my state of mind was such that I feared I would be caught any minute and taken to occupied territory. I was scared not so much of death, but of being tormented to death. It was those tortures that I was really afraid of,” the veteran recalls. She says that after everything she has been through she became very cautious of people: “If the occupants could not track me down for such a long time, this does not mean that someone drinking coffee next to me is not spying on me.” From her “horrible paranoia” in Donetsk she switched to a “milder” condition at the frontline; and after returning to civilian life, “to a more or less normal one.” “But this will probably stay with me for the rest of my life,” the veteran acknowledges.

Home

Until recently, all of Lilia’s thoughts were about being at the frontline and she could not focus on anything else: “I stayed at war for four years without leaving for a second. This radically changes you and your worldview. It was very hard to switch myself from the war, from survival to peaceful life and to start doing something here. Therefore, I attend different courses so as to direct my brain into a civilian channel.”

One of such courses is the East Europe Foundation’s Project “All4One.” It features coaching support for ATO veterans which is conducive to their rehabilitation. Viktoria Solodukhina, Lilia’s coachess, says that she was pleasantly impressed by the changes in the veteran’s life: “The war did not let Lilia go. When we first met and discussed her values, she put her comrades-in-arms in second place. A few more values were also related to the military subject. But at the end of our collaborative effort the situation changed drastically.” In the opinion of the coachess, one of the merits of their collaboration was that Lilia began to believe in “the impossible.” She had lost her home in Donetsk and was dreaming of having a place of her own again. That was the number one item in her list of values.

“I love the land very much. I don’t need hectares –four or five ares would be enough. Just to walk there, to talk to my plants –that would make me furiously happy, I would catch my nirvana. Therefore, when I lost everything in the war, it was worse than any crisis. I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t do anything at all,” the veteran says.

The coaching sessions helped to discuss in detail everything Lilia was concerned about, to review all possible and impossible options and to start believing again that she could have a space of her own. Now she is slowly recreating what she lost in the war.

Lilia could not make up her mind to restart business either. Once she brought to the session something she had been making with her own hands. Viktoria reacted enthusiastically: “Wow, this is something to enter the market with!” After hearing this, Lilia just shrugged her shoulders: “It’s just a hobby!” The coachess convinced her that this talent should be shared in the network. And it was not long before the veteran herself saw that what she thought was “just a hobby” could be valuable for others. Lilia made candied fruit at home, became engrossed in the process and prepared too much. What remained had to be distributed somehow. Then she published some photos of her sweets online. And she could not believe her eyes: requests started pouring in from everywhere. It was all bought in an hour or so. After a while, people began asking her whether she had some more, because Lilia’s candied fruit products were found to be very tasty. “I had never sold anything made with my own hands. And I was sure that I was not good at selling things. I was always giving everything away as presents and made no money on anything. Viktoria cleared up the mess in my head and I realized that this could become a basis for a business,” Lilia laughs. The last time the coachess met the veteran, she asked her trainee to once again write down the most important things in her life. Then she presented the sheet from their first meeting. “Lilia, look, your values have changed. Not a word about the war remaining. Now the focus is on the future.”

Viktoria showed both sheets to the woman, so that she could see for herself that it was true. Lilia was impressed: “The first time we did this, I was still entirely preoccupied with the war. Now the war is off the list of priorities. Had we not performed the repeat analysis, I would not have even taken note of that change.”

The coachess emphasizes that Lilia is a rather unordinary person: “She is a powerful spy with an excellent memory who grasps everything in a single flash. I have clients whom I see every week, because they need crutches to motivate and support them. Lilia doesn’t need any crutches. The few sessions that we had –they provided her with an impetus and then she went ahead on her own.” At present, the veteran is setting up home production of candied fruit and getting ready for the hot summer season. She says she will be making her tasty treats all day long.