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CONTENTS PAGE- 4 Robert Smith share details of his faster version of the Emotional Freedom Techniques Hi everyone,
PAGE- 18 Adel Rawlings has a new book for children. This book teaches EFT and can help every single child on a daily basis - whether working on fear of the dark or grief following the death of a grandparent or any other aspect, this is perfect for childdren due to its ease of application.
We have another exciting edition of the EFT World News. This time we talk with Robert Smith and how he has taken the Emotional Freedom Techniques and blended it with NLP and the work of others to create his own adaptation of EFT that has become very successful and fast at creating real life change in people’s lives. Robert has been kind enough to share the complete method in these pages.
PAGE- 19 Deborah Donndelinger talks about how we are Moving into a New Parenting Paradigm with EFT
We also have many articles based on children’s issues and can see the details in the contents menu on the left. That’s all for now and remember keep tapping!
PAGE- 21 Finally Angie Muccillo author of Tapping For Kids explains how we can empower kids to tap on their own
Best Gary Williams Editor of the EFT World News
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Robert G. Smith Stress and EFT Expert Robert G. Smith is one of America's leading experts on stress, spirituality, and healing. He is a respected leader in the field of personal growth, a popular radio guest and sought after motivational speaker. He has reached thousands of people with his positive message about personal power, love and healing. He has trained under some of America's greatest transformational teachers such as Dr. Richard Bandler, co-developer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Gary Craig, developer of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Dr. Larry Nims, developer of Be Set Free Fast (BSFF). Robert is known for his sense of humour, his ability to simplify the complex, and his dynamic training style. Robert has created new and faster ways that have improved the art of EFT'S delivery. Gary So thanks Robert for spending time with us to day, you are a life coach and stress expert, is it all right to call you a stress expert? Robert Yes, I am an expert at relieving your stress or I can give you stress either way! Gary Yes, as you said on one of your UTube videos, you can relieve people’s stress and you do have many UTube videos. Robert I believe I have about one hundred and fifty. Gary And what was the purpose behind the videos you put up there? Robert Well, you know originally before I began I thought it would be a great way to help people so that they could just watch them and maybe tap along, or just take some of the concepts and use them in their everyday lives. Since I started it has just kind of grown. Gary Have you always been a therapist Robert?
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Robert Well, I’m not really a therapist. I have no therapy background or training whatsoever. You know my goal has always been to heal myself and those I love. I started out with Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) studying NLP and about our mind and how and why we have problems. Then it also led into EFT when I was studying NLP and one of the students studying alongside me pointed out Gary Craig’s website and I realized that there was something worth exploring. So I bought the course with Gary Craig and the next thing you know it just snowballed just by using it on myself and my family. Gary So what was your first experience of using EFT? Robert Actually I had a neighbour and she was a friend of the family and she had an intense fear of heights. Her name was Amanda and I called her up and said “hey Amanda do you want to come over and I will see if I can get rid of your fear of heights”, and she said “You are not going to make me climb a ladder are you”? I said “no Amanda you are not going to do anything you don’t want to do”. So she comes over and I get my eldest son to go get the ladder and she screams “no” and I reassured her and said don’t worry about it Amanda your not going to do anything you don’t want to do. Thirty minutes later she is at the top of the ladder and looking down whilst saying “I can’t believe that I’m up here” and when she came back down she said “I wasn’t even afraid coming back down”. Amanda also said that the real test would be if I were to ride the big wheel in Frontier City, which is a local amusement park which wasn’t open at the time. But several months later she came back and said “You will not believe this, I went to Dolly Parton World and I rode the big wheel with my boyfriend’s mother and it was wonderful”. So that was my very first tapping process. Gary What did you think when all of that occurred? Robert Well of course I thought it was pretty amazing. I thought, well man this stuff really works. At the time I was married and my wife and I were going through a lot of problems and emotional issues that came from our past and relationships with our families and stuff. That is one of the reasons that I was even interested because I wanted to help my wife, so I just started to use the process on anything. My youngest son Mathew has “big ears” apparently and his brother and his sister would pick on him. Also one day a cousin came over and she brought her husband and he was wrestling around and playing with Matt and he said something about Mathew’s ears. This hurt Mathew’s feelings so he went up to his room and would not open the door and just would not come out. Of course the guy is feeling really bad so he apologised and said “Hey I am sorry, come on out”, but Mathew just would not come out, so he slipped five bucks under the door but Mathew kept the five bucks but never came out. So one day I went over and sat by Matt and said “Hey man I want to help you with your ears”, and you could just see that look on his face, it was a hurt look. So I tapped on him just one round and I looked at him and said Matt you sure got big ears and he turned and looked at me and said with a big smile he said “Yes Daddy just like yours”. From age nine to his current age of eighteen years, from that moment on to this day his ears have no longer been a problem.
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Those are some of the beginnings but also I worked on my wife who had restless leg syndrome. As we started to talk her legs would start to move and the more we went into the emotional stuff around her childhood stuff and her past and the trauma that she has experienced, both of her legs just started to take off. This helped me to understand that the issue really is emotionally based, of course I didn’t understand basically why and how the tapping worked and the presupposition that Gary Craig has is that the cause of our problems is a disruption in our energy system. This gives a mindset that inside the body there is a problem, but I don’t really believe that. I believe that everything we do is built on programs and processes that we have recorded within us, so we are tapping and addressing a lot of emotional issues and we start to address and literally change the memories. I get a lot of questions that say what about Psychological Reversal? I say that it doesn’t exist, and the reason that it exists for some people is because they don’t understand the structure of problems. There is a structure to it and if you operate within that structure there is no Psychological Reversal because you have clearly cleaned it up. So with my wife we would go back to these memories and we would change the memories literally because most people do not understand that memories are synthetic, they are not real but they feel real because it triggers the body to feel it. So when we started changing all this stuff when she would sleep at night normally one leg would move and that can be part of dreaming but now she doesn’t have restless leg syndrome anymore. As a matter of fact she had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and she had to do certain things in certain ways and couldn’t throw things away, and I discovered that it is all driven by fear and emotions. So I just went in and started to clear all the stuff up and her life has totally changed and its pretty amazing and exciting work for sure. Gary You started out by learning from Gary Craig so how different is your method from what Gary Craig does? Robert Well if you were to compare the two, EFT is very powerful and is a very good system but if I was to say that the downfall of EFT is the structure because it is an auditory structure and you have to aim at whatever it is and give it a word “Even though I have this blank”. Well the difference about what I use is that often with EFT the therapist has to do the guessing work and you would say to your client “give it a word and address it”. The way I do it is that we let the client do all the work for us and we let the unconscious mind address and change the problems. This saves a lot of time, effort and guessing work. Also we step into the mind and say things like: “how do you know?” and that is one on the most powerful questions we ask, “How do you know you have a problem?”. Well how do you know and why are two different basic questions. How do you know could be “well I know because I feel this pressure in my chest”. How do you know could be “I have this picture in my mind”. How do you know could be “because I hear somebody saying a certain something in a certain tone”. So often I have clients who have feelings and sensations and they have no idea what they mean, but we don’t have to know, we don’t have to know why, we just have to know how we know “I feel it, I hear it, I sense it” and then we start to change that process.
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So if you were to say the difference between my method and Gary Craig’s it would be that I use less points, I don’t have to use a set-up and the set-up is easy and very simple but not like the EFT set-up where you say “even though I have this” instead we identify it, aim it and release it, I call it super, fast and quick. Now I use a lot of different things and I think in my manual I have eight or nine different processes. I have a shortened version of the EFT style and then I have the mental tapping which means you don’t do it physically but mentally, which is great if you are in a meeting and then surrogate tapping, physical tapping and then I have a technique called the “quick tap” and the “super quick tap”. Which is a process whereby you go in and let the unconscious mind do all the work, you can tap out a whole lot of stuff real fast without a whole lot of effort, because we let the client do all the work in their unconscious mind and we just set it all up for them. So the difference in my style to the EFT style is that it’s shorter, it’s more direct and has a healthier more logical belief system and it’s fun, everybody can do it, it’s super simple. Gary You talk about structure; can you go into more depth with that? Robert The structure of problems start with a good, healthy belief system. I taught this just last week in my class. The belief system that I operate from is that first of all there are no broken people. The thing is that when you come in with what you think is a problem, this problem is a well-created issue that you develop within you, and when you understand that in order to have a problem you have to do it correctly. That means if you want to feel depressed instead of thinking about your happy memories and all the wonderful things in your world, you cannot feel depressed, you feel good. So the belief system is that there are no broken people, and in order to produce a problem you’ve got to do it correctly. And of course then you would say if you are doing it correctly how are you doing it? And so when the individual goes inside they are saying “I’m seeing this, I’m seeing this, I’m feeling this” and I say “Do you have proof that you should have this problem?”. It’s very important, “How do you know and do you have proof?”. I teach that a belief is something that you feel strongly about, the emotions. Secondly do you have proof either consciously or unconsciously to support it? When anyone comes in with a problem I believe that it’s a belief. I believe that I have fibromyalgia – how do you know you have fibromyalgia? I feel pain. Do you have a history of it? - and we go back to memories of when it began and we start cleaning up the history which is part of the structure. And of course we give it a SUDS rating then and we start releasing the pain and the history of it, and by the time we come back to the present the pain is completely gone. Gary Do you spend a lot of time going back into the past? Robert The reason Gary that you know how to use Skype or the reason that you know how to drive a car is that the past built your future. If you have a foundation of problems in your past you go back to the foundation. Some people say that they don’t have a memory of their past and I will say we will just address what you know. The unconscious mind does know and it does all the work for us. But I do clean up the past. In order for you to use a phone, obviously in your past you had to learn the skill. When you arrive at work after driving your car you might think “Oh my God I don’t remember the drive!”
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At some time in the past as a young man or young woman you sat in a car for the first time and you didn’t know how to drive. But now when you get into your car you don’t think about that, you don’t think about your original experiences of driving, you just jump in, press on the gas and you just take off. It’s at an unconscious level, it does all the work for you now. Gary Are you saying then that we learn how to have a problem? Robert Oh yes, it’s a skill. You’ve got to be good to have a problem. As a matter of fact last night in my class there were two people with the same problem. They both had test anxiety. I said “five bucks you don’t have the same problem” and they said “yes we do, we both have test anxiety”. I asked one of them when did it start and one of them said “it started when I was in the third grade when I felt inadequate and I went home and felt abandoned” and the other guy was talking about his fear and it started with him feeling angry. So the problem is completely different - one if feeling angry and the other inadequate. Gary OK so you’ve got your emotional drivers, how do you bring EFT into that. Robert Well, again what we do is aim at the cause, and the number one cause of problems is stress and emotions. Stress and emotions is the leading cause of death, of suicide and health problems. 75% of all health problems are due to stress related complaints. And what is stress? That is the question. I teach in my course the two models of the world. One model of the world is that you come into this world as this little baby and everybody is trying to tell this little baby what to do, try to curb their behaviour, try to train them so they look outside at the world and it’s “them doing it to me”. Some people will never outgrow that state. Now they’re thinking well, they don’t like me, George Bush or whoever it is that irritates, you they are doing this to me. That’s one reality. But the other is that it’s what we do inside of ourselves that gives meaning to what we do and it’s an internal process. There are some of the things I mentioned earlier, you have pictures, movies in your mind and you have sounds, words, tonality and the strongest one that makes you do whatever is that you don’t want to do is feelings. Feelings are the number one cause of our problems, the inability to change our feelings. And another one is programs. Inside yourself in order to feel good, bad or anything you’ve got to do something correctly. Gary And you’re saying that you are creating that within yourself? Robert Absolutely, you can sit here while you’re talking to me and you can experience a problem by your thinking only. You may listen to me and I may say something and you may start to run with it inside yourself and you may feel this or that and all of a sudden you’re having a problem, and I won’t even know what’s going on. Internal process and what you think. Of course stress is built from perception and what you perceive to be true. That’s why in an office, there are five of you in the office, and the boss walks through and barks some orders. One of the people will throw her pen down and get mad and run over to the vending machine and buy a coke and two candy bars and grab her purse for her cigarettes and she’ll walk out and stomp outside and smoke and drink and eat, trying to escape the feelings she has within her. 8
And when she comes back someone will say “What’s the big problem, it’s no big deal, it’s his problem”. But this individual may have references just like the boss. It could be a symbol of mother, dad or big brother or whoever it is that has tormented her. At the unconscious level we automatically respond based on perception from recorded information. And once you start to realize that you start to realize “Hey, I’m in control of my life and I can feel miserable at any time I want or I can change myself”. This is why the tapping or EFT is so simple because you can use it anytime and it doesn’t cost anything, you can use it any time you feel stressed, bothered or worried and you can start transforming your life on a daily basis. Gary Are we talking about conditioning with people that they may have picked things up on their journey? Robert Well I believe that at birth we are a learning machine and we just absorb whatever is coming in. I have three grandchildren and my grandchildren at birth would not even know what a fist is and they can’t even find their fingers, and then accidently one day they find their fingers. The next thing you know as a grandparent you see them and they’re moving around on their stomach and then rocking back and forth on their hands and knees, and then they’re walking around. They’re always learning from their experiences. The amazing thing about us is that you can take any child in any environment and in that environment they’re going to develop skills to survive in that environment. And from those skills they start to develop an idea of the world, their world, and how they can survive in it based on their experience. Now Gary your world is a lot different from my world. They may be similar but they will be different because I have never experienced your family. You may have emotional drivers in your family that I don’t have or they may be the same. We always give our meaning to every situation and if our meaning isn’t very healthy because we had experiences which weren’t very healthy, we start to use these rose-coloured glasses to taint how we act and perform in the world. And what we want to do is discover how to change how we see things to a healthier style. Because, I don’t know about you Gary but my family had problems and I learned oh so well how to have their problems. Because it’s basic emotional conditioning – it’s how we survive. Gary Do you think it’s possible for somebody who has had a negative experience of life to realistically change to a higher level of thinking, a more positive way of life? Robert Absolutely! My life is major proof of that – my ex-wife’s life is major proof of that. You see if memories are not real - and I believe they are not real – they feel real because they create a physical reaction. If you are using memories to control you and keep you unhealthy and if you change the memory, the meaning of the memory, the emotions of the memory, all of a sudden you start to respond totally differently. Now I know for a fact that you can change that. Gary How do you work with people who feel their memories in a really big way? If you are sitting there with a client and they say “of course my memories are real” what would be your answer? 9
Robert You know it’s interesting – I had a client not so long ago and what I do with clients is have them write a list, an exhaustive list of everything, every bad memory they ever had, fears, phobias, emotional traumas, car wrecks, sexual, physical and emotional abuses, whatever it is. So this guy brought his list and he’s sitting on my couch, I call it the magic couch because changes happen on it. Anyway he’s sitting on my couch and he’s talking about these problems so we start to change them and each time we go back to the memories the bad feelings are there. We did about five or six of these memories and the bad memories aren’t bad any more, they don’t bother him. But he said “hold on a minute here, is it a good decision to change all these bad memories?” I said “Well it depends, if you want to feel bad it’s a bad decision, because when you change memories from feeling bad to neutral or peaceful, your mind cannot use those memories against you in the future”. The key to making changes is getting rid of the negativity, the emotional charge attached to the memories. Yes, you can change but change starts with letting go. Gary The process that you run is much faster than traditional EFT, what do you say to people who talk about subjects like ecology in that people may go back out into the world and just re create their problem if you haven’t dealt with the issues as to why they have or may need the problem for some reason? Robert The amazing thing about you or I Gary and other individuals is that we are very dynamic and have this great ability to produce problems, successes, fears. And one of the biggest things that I find with individuals with this belief is that within me I have a saboteur, some part of me inside is trying to sabotage my actions or behaviour and it is trying to keep me operating at a lower level of living. Gary you have probably seen this and I am sure others have too, as you are interacting with an individual they almost like change state, and it is like they went into a little five year old boy who is throwing a temper tantrum. What happens inside of us is that when we experience life we have what we call emotional states or basically hypnotic states, trances that we automatically go into and not being aware that we are doing it. If we have inside of us memories or experiences as a child of being, beaten, abandoned, inadequate or rejected you will have these memories inside of you or what I call emotional states or hypnotic trances. And basically what will happen is that someone will talk to you or look at you in a certain way or you will experience something that will trigger an emotional state up to the present moment, and you will jump into this state and you will act or form this emotional state. That is not a saboteur, it is a state recorded within you that is triggered by the mind that says “Hey I have references on how I should respond to this moment” and then we use what we have within us. So what we do as practitioners is to help people free themselves from the old emotional states that have been recorded within. You know one of the things that I always say to students in class is “memories buried alive never die” and buried alive means that when you go back to that experience and you start to re experience those feelings and emotions attached to that experience your unconscious mind will use those experiences for you or on your behalf, because somewhere inside you, you are saying that it is important for me to have this memory buried alive. So that therefore I am going to use this pattern. So I say that memories buried alive never die, but they do show up in another pair of shoes and that means in another place or time and usually and often in an uglier and bigger way. 10
So one of the things you have to do is go back to the past and clean the memories up and release then because what you have within you, you will attract or become and you will find people who act or perform in a way that you know how to perform and act with. Gary So are we talking about some kind of repeating pattern inside you? Robert Yes a pattern inside of you and again it goes back to the law of attraction that says “what you hold inside you attract that of the same kind”. In the film The Secret they don’t mention that if you have negative stuff within you are going to attract it because it is in you, so if you don’t like what you are currently getting in your relationship you will have to let go of what you don’t want in relationships, and what you don’t want are those memories that hurt. What we do is go in and release the negativity and create peace within us. Gary Does that make you attractive so that you then attract? Robert Every relationship, and for some this may be a hard pill to swallow, every relationship you have ever been into has been perfect for you, based on your internal belief system, so that means that you attract what you are. Say you had a bad relationship, as you go back to that relationship, even now in your mind and you see it, who is it that is producing this memory inside of you? It is you! So that means that every time you go inside your mind and you remember a good or bad experience, as you remember it, all characters in the memory are you. That means that if you are seeing Uncle Joe beat-up your brother, who is playing the memory? You are. Who is the movie director? You are. Who are the actors in the movie? You are, because this is an internal affirmation. As a matter of fact if you hold it in mind you get more of the same kind and you will see this everywhere you go. So one of the keys is to change what you have within you, and as you heal that part of you and release and let go, you are really forgiving yourself, and I call this ultimate forgiveness. When you release the energy, the emotions and the memories of what you are holding on to inside of you, you will start to focus on creating good things in your life and the world will naturally start to change for you. Gary Are we saying that it is all about working on your internal self? Robert Absolutely. You know I was raised up in Christian church and even though I have those experiences, there are some very powerful concepts that I like. One of the biggest ones, and it just so happens to be what Jesus said and is a universal truth, and there are two laws basically. In the first he said that “if you love the divine within you in every expression, thought, deed and everything within you is from that love and you honour that within you” and the second it says that “you will love your neighbour, your ex wife or husband, at the same rate and level that you love yourself”, So if you love yourself will you hold those negative memories inside you? And the question is, is it good for you? I suggest that if it is negative inside you let it go and release that charge.
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I have worked with thousands of people and it is interesting that the person who had the most emotional negative charge in their child life often would have it show up when they were dealing with a negative boss or a husband or ex-wife, it keeps repeating because inside of us we attract what we believe we are. Gary So that’s like a mirror then? Robert Well, basically you give meaning to the outer world and you attract what you think. In fact you’ll taint that experience to fit your understanding. So what we want to do is heal our understanding, release the negativity. All spiritual understanding, it doesn’t matter who it is, basically says that all healing starts inside you. It starts inside you and it starts with letting go of what you don’t want. Releasing that negative energy and making peace with the inner self. Now the inner self is the memories that you have within you, period. Gary So those people who are starting out in the world of the Emotional Freedom Techniques, how can they get to where you are now with the work that you are doing? Robert One of the best things for me is my clients to help me heal. I don’t have a lot of memories from my childhood. I do have some so when I am working with a client, watching TV, driving down the road or listening to the radio or something, and an emotional response is triggered inside me, that moment then I tap. My clients are one of my best gifts to help me heal. I remember a couple of years ago, I was alone in the house in the winter time and I was watching movies and all the “chick flicks” and there was one movie that I was watching and I felt a lot of negative emotion within me and that was one of the best healing tools I had had in a long time because I was tearing up and I was tapping, healing myself. So anyone who wants to be doing what I’m doing or even just heal their life, the best thing I can tell you is that when you feel the negativity, when you feel hurt, when you feel sad, when you feel angry, tap. Gary OK, so if you are just starting out with EFT, the EFT process that’s being promoted seems to be very mechanical, how are you with that? Robert Well, the EFT process is very effective and Gary if you and I decided that we wanted to become card players and uncle Joe is a card player and said to him “teach us how to play cards” we will learn how uncle Joe does it. We will only be as good at playing cards as uncle Joe but if we go to someone who makes millions or dollars playing cards and we sit at his table and learn from him and his belief system, which is the most important part - you learn his skills, his attitudes, the likelihood of winning. So I always suggest that you find someone who you like who is very, very effective. Find someone whose belief system and attitude you like and their process. Because I believe if it is with good understanding the better it usually is. So I always look for someone who’s an expert if the field, I went to Gary Craig, I went to Dr Larry Nims, author of Be Set Free Fast, I went to hypnosis because hypnosis is a very powerful process. I always went to the best and then I create my own understanding. I think that is where the power is – make it fit for you. Everybody’s different, everybody sees thing differently. So use what is effective for you. 12
Gary So the system that you run how different is it from EFT – I know I asked that question earlier – from a technical point of view? Robert Well, it’s different because it’s faster. It’s different because it’s easier. It’s different because it’s a different belief system. It has no belief system – we just say “ok, I understand that, let’s just deal with it, and “let’s get it sorted out”. That’s the difference, it’s superfast and effective and if you want to save a lot of time I believe that my process is better but don’t tell anybody! Gary So if someone has learnt the process and the EFT way of doing things and they used it on a regular basis and they came to you what would you teach them that would be different? Robert Well, what I would teach is definitely how we have problems and what we need to do is change the memories, change the meaning of the memories and change the meaning of what you give the problem and change the emotional process and also change the belief system that you operate from. Because first of all there is nothing wrong with you, you are not broken. You’re just successfully producing something that you don’t want. Let’s figure out what you’re doing and let’s change it. That’s the strongest thing – the belief system. And then the tapping process, my tapping – it’s faster, it’s easier, you can do it in the privacy of your own mind . It’s just easy and I’ve had a lot of people who’ve tried the EFT style and used it and dropped it and then came to me and said “I like this, it’s so simple and so easy, it makes sense”. Gary If I was a fly on the wall in your therapy room could you walk me through that, what would I see? Robert Usually my first session with a client is 2 hours and usually the first hour I listen to them, I write down notes. I listen to how they have their problems, the emotional drivers, and the last hour or sometimes more if they do a good list for me – I usually have them do a list. They will come in and I will address the emotional issue and I always try to make the emotional issue strong as they can handle it, and they can totally release it. And when I say totally release it, that means when you go back to that memory you can never feel bad again, even if you try, and that’s a big difference because if you can go back and release that memory so that they can never make themselves feel bad again, they’re free. And I guarantee that I do that all the time. As a matter of fact, many times a client comes in and I say “Do you have a problem that you would never want to share with me or anyone else?” and ask them if they will tell me what it is and I will release it and I do that oftentimes. When they come in I try to get the one that has tormented their lives and totally change it. So when they come in we make big life changes and when they walk out that door they have a smile on their face, a big load has been lifted off their chest and they are free! Gary EFT practitioners will sit and do a similar thing to that and investigate problems etc. But what is it that you are doing that’s different that gives you the higher success rate?
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Robert I really don’t know exactly what it is that they do but of course I’ve been to Gary Craig’s seminars and other EFT’ers are basically mirrors of Gary Craig. What he can do in an hour I can oftentimes do in less than 10 minutes. I don’t do the parts and pieces; I address the whole structure of the problem. I used to do Gary Craig style for years, thousands and thousands of times, but I began to understand that there is a foundation in the structure to our thinking and in the 30 minutes that it took me to get rid of Amanda’s fear, I can probably do it in less than 5, because now I understand how we have problems. Back then I didn’t understand why, so I did the tapping in the Gary Craig style. Usually therapists can’t get rid of fears, they just give you Prozac or something, so even though the EFT style is very effective I like it faster. I like to get it done and I can do a lot more work. Gary And we have problems because? Robert We have problems because we’re good at it. We have problems because we have internal references and it’s built on our perceptions. And our problems and perceptions are uniquely ours, built and designed by our own thinking and our own emotions. That’s why we have problems. There’s no disruption in the energy system. Somebody can come in and they have this problem and they say “I feel it in my heart”. Now some people say that it’s a disruption but in reality it’s a success. If you ask that same person “have you a happy memory and where do you feel it” and they say “Yes! I feel it right here in my heart”. Because you see the body is the expression of the mind, it’s not the cause, it’s the expression. It’s the mind using the body to make it feel real and if there was a glitch in the heart, it would just be in the heart and it would always be in the heart and when you think happy thoughts it changes the body’s reaction. So, that’s the key – in order to have a problem, you’ve got to have a “how to”, you’ve got to have a reference, you’ve got to have a belief system, you’ve got to have emotions, you’ve got to have sounds, pictures or senses, you’re doing something correctly to produce it. Which means you’re not broken – you’re just doing something that you’ve been trained to do from your experiences. Gary You were talking about Gary Craig’s method and how different your method is – would you say that your method is easier? Robert Without a doubt – it’s much easier. It’s simple, it’s fast, you can do it mentally, and you can do it physically. Gary And how long would it take to learn the method? Robert It would take 2 minutes to learn the actual tapping process- its simple. Gary And is there something complicated that you would need to learn more about? Robert Well, if a person wanted to become a practitioner and become as good as I am or even better, you would need to know about the belief system. I teach 3 different training classes, 14
1, 2 and 3 and when we get to the third training class, we’re making changes and we’re not even tapping. We’re just addressing the mind and we’re making big life changes without ever tapping once. Gary That’s very different then from the way EFT is taught. Robert Oh definitely, you can address any emotional level or any physical problem when you have the structure of problems and you understand how we do it, and when you have this there is basically nothing that when you have somebody come in to your office that you do not know how to change. Because you understand completely what they are doing and how it is occurring inside them. It is super powerful and you talk about fast life changes, and even on my website I have just recently uploaded and made available to the public a DVD set which is17 DVDs of nothing but Robert tapping - around about 25 hours of straight tapping, and you talk about seeing some amazing changes, we are talking about most of them in less than 10 minutes. Gary If someone wants to be trained in what you are doing where would they go? Robert I do training in Oklahoma every week on Tuesday evenings and I know that I need to and am getting a lot of requests to do some training seminars on the weekends, like a three or four day weekend course, and that is something that will occur in the future. I also have the online training and will be going to the UK in August. I will go anywhere if you help set up the seminar. My skill is doing what I do - I know what I am talking about, I create life changes and I am a one man team. Now if you are out of town you probably can’t attend training every week so the best thing to do is to either buy the DVDs or I will eventually do some weekend training seminars. Gary What other resources do you have? Robert You can go to my UTube, just type in Faster EFT in UTube or healing magic one word is my handle and that can be a great source. Also if you watch me on the video number 69 that is one of my tapping processes, that is the quick tap. This is one of my tapping processes. Could you talk us through how you would do the EFT Fast tap? Robert Ok I want you to think about an issue, something that bothers you, maybe a specific event and as you do I just want you to notice how you know, you may see, feel or hear something, just notice that you have it. Notice how strong it is in your body. Now give it a SUDS rating, 0 doesn’t bother me and 10 it is really strong. Notice how strong it is. Now make it a little stronger and make it a 10 if it isn’t so. Notice the body’s reaction. Now if you had a tree in front of you, imagine a tree right there in front of you and if I pull the roots right from underneath the tree, what 15
happens to the tree without roots? Yes that’s right, it probably dies or falls over. Now what I want you to do is fallow me and do exactly what I say. Tap between your eyes and say I release and let go of all sadness. Side of eye: I release and let go of all fears Under the eye: I release and let go of all emotional traumas, all angers all the guilt, helpless feelings, trapped feelings Collarbone,: where your necklace would hang: I release and let go of helplessness, abandonment and betrayals, I release and let them all go, it is safe to let them go, because I am really here doing this process and it’s time to let it go. Grab your wrist, and take a deep breath, blow it out and say “peace” and notice that peaceful feeling. Now go back to that memory whatever that was that was bothering you, is there anything left that still bothers you? You may notice that it has changed but if there is anything, notice it, feel whatever is left. Have you got it? Right now tap between you eyes and say, it’s safe to let it go. Beside your eye, just let it go Under the eye, let it go Collarbone let it all go Grab your wrist and take a deep breath, blow it out and say “peace”. Check it again, has it gone? If it has then I want you to see the memory and change it, maybe think of a happy memory or a good feeling, and as you feel that good feeling send it to that memory or send it to someone else or just enjoy it, take a deep breath, blow it out and say “peace”. Of course if it didn’t go all away just do the tapping process again and when you are done make it feel good and that is basically the process. That is one of several processes that I have and it is a deep process that creates a lot of changes at a deeper level, pretty effective. Gary You are not going back into the past or going into lots of detail around the memory? We are addressing the entire memory all at one time, we are not doing the parts and pieces we are just knocking it out all at once. Gary Gary Craig talks about being too global but are you being global? Robert What we are addressing is the deep unconscious, the part of us that creates the feelings and emotions. With the normal EFT style they are doing parts and pieces. We are doing the same but all at one time, because what we are doing is that we are telling the unconscious mind that we addressing this problem by pulling the roots right out from under the problem 16
and we are addressing every anger, every sadness and every emotional issue, fears, rejections, abandonments, all the emotions and we are pulling the roots from out from the whole entire problem. Instead of just tapping on I release and let go of the sadness and saying release and let go of the sadness and then saying what do you feel now? And then going onto working on this anger, this anger, this anger, we are just doing it all in one time. So I can change fifty memories or more in one session, but if I do it the other way it will take one session to do one memory and here is the test, go back to that memory that we just addressed and try in vain to make it bother you and you will notice that you can’t. Unless you go to a different memory and if you go to a different memory you do the process again on that memory. But this structurally, neurologically and internally releases emotions attached to it and it restructures it. You know what happened but it doesn’t appear to be real any more. Gary And you get results. Robert Oh I get results, absolutely and in a very fast way. Gary Robert where do we need to go for more information and to learn more? Robert There are several places, you can go to my websites or take a look at my UTube videos, over one hundred videos that you can watch, just type in faster EFT or my handle healingmagic one word, to find them and those are some of the best ways to get hold of me. Gary Before you go, what important message would you give to people who are just starting out with EFT? Robert Just be persistent as persistence is your most powerful skill, keep doing it and ask questions, learn and keep tapping on yourself, on your fears your worries or anything including your insecurities. Always give yourself the right to learn and don’t take it personally and have fun. To find out more please go to Robert Smith’s websites below: www.outsmartstress.com www.fastereft.com
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Enchanted Fairy Taps By Adel Rawlinson Master Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, Advanced EFT Practitioner, Author of 'Enchanted Fairy Taps a Childs Guide to EFT' and Founder of MindMasters) Adel Rawlinson is an experienced, professional full-time therapist who has been helping people to change their lives for the last 5 years. She is passionate about spreading the word about the power that lies within us all to make significant changes in mind and body. She appears regularly on BBC Radio discussing the subject as well as writing a regular feature page in 'the Magazine' Manchester and Cheshire and conducting workshops, aspiring to change peoples' perceptions and hopefully encourage them to try a different approach. With more and more people turning to methods alternative to the drug culture we as a nation have experienced for many years - MindMasters recognises the importance of providing quality services to those who seek them. The Book A metaphorical story for children teaching the invaluable self help tool EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Due to its amazing results, EFT is one of the fastest growing therapies and is being used by therapists, doctors, psychiatrists worldwide. Simply put, EFT is a form of psychological acupuncture which involves tapping on key meridian points on the head and torso to align the subtle energy system within the body. This book teaches a tool which can help every single child with the issues they face on a daily basis - whether that is fear of the dark or grief following the death of a grandparent. EFT is safe, non-invasive and perfect for children due to its ease of application. Common childhood issues for which EFT can prove helpful; Bed wetting Confidence Fear ie; of the dark Anger/upset School issues/learning difficulties Physical problems ie, asthma/grazed knee ADD-ADHD Upset following parents splitting Grief Basically, try it on anything... Adel Rawlinson Hypnotherapy & EFT Manchester Tel: 0845 458 9452 http://www.mindmasters.co.uk adel@mindmasters.co.uk
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Moving into a New Parenting Paradigm with EFT Deborah Donndelinger, M.S., EFTCert-I, EFT-ADV ___________________________________ The history of parenting is rather brutal, with children once considered non-entities that could be discarded, killed, or used at the parent's whim. Over time, our collective approach to parenting is evolving and developing, which is good news indeed. How we collectively parent is the leading force that shapes how we are as a country and as a world. How we parent as a society determines whether we perpetrate violence or encourage peace. According to Robin Grille, author of Parenting for A Peaceful World, we are in a shift from the socializing mode of parenting to the helping mode of parenting. The socializing mode of parenting tends to see children as good or bad and the goal is to make them productive members of society. The parent is concerned with raising a child that fits in. He follows the rules and sees himself judged by how well his children do. In the next evolution, called the helping mode, parents are concerned with what the child needs developmentally and choose meeting the child’s individual needs above the need to fit in socially. In the helping mode, there is a greater compassion and recognition of children as unique persons on their own path. As we consider how we personally fit into this parenting journey, we can look at our own history and our current parenting practices with more compassion. EFT fits into this introspection, offering us relief from patterns and reactions. Consider this a Personal Peace Procedure for Parenting. Personal Peace Procedure for Parents The myth of the perfect parent, warm and nurturing, is just that, a myth. Parents are products of their culture and humans have the potential to be the most brutal of the animal kingdom or the most loving. But being human is not a guarantee of parenting well. To move forward in our parenting journey, we first must accept ourselves as we are. 1) Consider all the times you have been less than pleased with your parenting choices and reactions. Make a list of at least five incidents where you shouted, hit, ignored, or shamed your child. Identify the emotions you were feeling as well as the response and emotions of your child. Tap on these incidents until your intensity gets to zero. Be prepared for some cognitive shifts! Parenting evolves. It is perfectly okay that what our parents did for us, or to us, doesn't work for us as parents. Each of us has a mental list, a list from childhood of the things we swore we would never do as parents. 19
Imagine our dismay, when we end up repeating the same exact patterns from our parents. We justify our parental behavior by telling ourselves that we are not so bad, we were treated that way and turned out okay. (Sound familiar?) Or in an attempt to not be like our parents, we end up on another extreme, just the opposite of our parents. When this happens, it’s a very good indication we are still reacting rather than creating how we want to be as a mother or father. 2) Make a list of at least five times you remember being shamed, punished, felt guilty as a child. How were you disciplined or punished? Were you hit, spanked, isolated, or shamed verbally? How were mealtimes? How were bedtimes? When were you made to feel wrong or less than? These memories are all excellent tapping material. 3) Parenting truly shapes the world. As we treat children with respect and love and model being a democracy, we bring democracy to the larger world. And if we model violence and control and fear, we'll bring the same. 4) Consider all the times you felt fear as a child or used fear to control your children. Consider all the times you experienced violence or used violence to control your child. Pick five incidents and commit to tapping on them until the intensity gets to zero. Be prepared for some amazing cognitive shifts. If you are reading this, you are already committed to supporting yourself and other parents. As we move towards the next evolution of parenting, we can release our pasts, our histories, and see that our parents did the best they could, even if it wasn’t enough. We can heal our wounds and choose how to parent ourselves and our children. There is a growing international community of dedicated focused parents who are using EFT to heal their childhood memories and to become fully the parent they want to be. Welcome to the leading-edge of peaceful parenting. Deborah Donndelinger, M.S., EFTCert-I, EFT-ADV Deborah is an EFT practitioner and parenting advocate. More information can be found at: EFTwithDeborah.com.
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Empowering Kids to tap On Their Own By Angie Muccillo Author of Tapping For Kids
While EFT is an ideal tool for parents and teachers to use directly with children, there may be times in a child’s life when teachers, parents or other adults are the actual source of stress for the child. Children who have been taught to tap on their own have the freedom to tap on whatever is bothering them at the time including an upset at home or at school, without having to rely directly on an adult to help them sort the issue out. EFT allows children to overcome daily upsets so that they don’t build into bigger problems. Sometimes due to fear, shame, guilt or anger children simply won’t discuss their issues with adults. Children get angry at their parents for all sorts of things, even if the relationship is a close and loving one. Sometimes this anger is overtly displayed in their behavior or other times you may not know they are angry with you but it may play out in a disruptive way. If as a parent, your child is angry at you for something you said or did or didn’t do and you are aware of it, it’s harder to get them to tap with you and they are less likely to listen to you because they are angry with you. The child who has learnt to tap on their own however, without the help or prompting of an adult will more likely tap on their anger towards their parent and resolve the issue rather than hang on to it, restoring peace and harmony. If the child can neutralize their anger towards you, their behavior towards you will likely change of it’s own accord, making everybody’s life easier! Tapping can strengthen the bond between children and their parents or students and their teachers by neutralizing the underlying negative feelings that contribute to the problem. For instance an 8 year old I recently taught EFT to, was intimidated by her teacher and fearful of him, due to outbursts he had in the classroom with regards to another student. Even though she wasn’t the one “in trouble” her fear of him affected how she felt in class and she was constantly worried that she would do something to upset him. Of course the teacher could not have known this and whilst he was doing the best he could to handle a disruptive student, his behavior was interpreted by her as intimidating and frightening. Her anxiety at being in his class was increasing and affecting her school work and she was becoming increasingly anxious about “making a mistake” and “getting into trouble.” The fear of her teacher was at a 9 when we started and went down to a zero after tapping several rounds on how he made her feel. She also tapped on the original incident where the boy was dragged out of class by the teacher. We also tapped on her fear of making a mistake and getting into trouble. She no longer felt the fear and was no longer worried about the incident. I suggested that she tap each day after school on any remaining or new fears, worries that she had about this teacher. She now has the ability to release these feelings on her own. The benefit of this? A more relaxed school experience, less pressure and stress, greater confidence and the possibility of seeing her teacher in a different light, improving not only her classroom experience but quite possibly the teacher/student relationship as well. 21
If allowed to spiral out of control, her fear may have continued to affect her school work. With EFT as an intervention this cycle was stopped in it’s tracks and without the fear, worry and stress, a more conducive learning experience was possible. As parents, teachers and guardians we simply cannot know everything that is bothering a child or how an event affects them emotionally. Passing this skill onto our children empowers them to use it whenever or for whatever issue is bothering them even when the source of the stress is someone they love. In my opinion EFT is a life skill that no child should be without! “Tapping For Kids” is my first book and is inspired by a strong desire to put EFT into the hands of young people as a tool to help them overcome their fears, worries and everyday traumas as well as build their selfesteem. This book is an essential resource for any parent, educator, counsellor or anyone interested in teaching children how to use EFT to manage their emotions and release everyday traumas.
About The Author Angie Muccillo is a Complimentary Health Practitioner from Melbourne, Australia, who is trained in Advanced EFT, Remedial Massage and Reiki Level II. Angie is enthusiastic and passionate about sharing and teaching others, including children, how to use Energy Therapies for emotional healing, personal development and to gain powerful relief from the physical and emotional stresses of everyday life. Angie’s professional qualifications include a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Social Sciences with majors in Sociology and Psychology. Her background includes 15 years experience in the human services field, where she gained extensive experience in developing and implementing specialized education and training programs, assisting people with disabilities to develop life skills and access the mainstream community. Angie has been practicing EFT on a personal level and training in its methods since 2002. Angie currently conducts workshops in EFT and offers individual consultations for pain management, stress management, anxiety, self esteem, quit smoking, trauma, fears and phobias, children, parenting and pregnancy issues. Contact details Angie Muccillo EFT Practitioner & Instructor Remedial Massage Therapist (Member AAMT) (BA Social Science- Psych/Soc) (Dip Illustrative Photography - Fine Art/Photojournalism) (Cert IV Remedial Massage) (EFT-ADV) Melbourne, Australia www.tappingforkids.com sublime@pacific.net.au +61 417391055 22
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