From: Ortixia Dilts <ortixia@terralingua.org> Date: October 23, 2013 10:09:28 AM PDT To: K Max <kmax@kmaxmultimedia.com>
I need to get some things out into the open that have been plaguing me for quite some time. I have been challenged to be honest. And when I look at myself this year I find I have become a horribly dishonest person. But I want you to know that though I may be not always be honest, I am always sincere. Sometimes we are dishonest out of love; because we do not want to hurt someone. In my case it is because I am both very in love with and actively seeing two men for this entire year. And if you want to know the reason why I try to break up with you every weekend this is why. I am writing an identical letter to both of you. The same cycle keeps repeating itself over and over again, and I cannot stop it. No matter how many times I try to escape I keep coming back to you. I have tried an open relationship, I have cheated, I have tried just friends, I have tried distance, lastly I hoped to get away with just ‘playing the field’ and the only thing left is honesty. I am also very very bad at saying no. I love making love, and as soon as I give in we are together again. It’s true that I really really do want a partner in my life, and I am painfully aware that neither one of you wish to fill this role, and if you were and are not telling me, I am not sure if you could. To compare you is to compare the ocean and the earth, as if you were each another separate part of me. Making jam with my deep love, and dancing poetry under the full moon. Both parts are so essential to me. It feels that I am two different people with two different lives. I have only physically lied once, when you both wanted to see me at the same time, otherwise I have ‘lied through my teeth’ by omission. I always spoke what was truly in my heart, but never
