Etiquette Tips from Polished Peyton

ET I Q U - from E T T E T I PS POLISHED PEYTON

by Jennifer Daniel

Having taught etiquette classes for twenty years, I can tell you that has its ups and downs. The downside is that no one wants to sit next to you at dinner, and if they do, they assume you know the answer to every etiquette question known to mankind. The upside is the people I’ve had the opportunity to meet either through The Protocol School or just by teaching and participating in events. A few weeks ago, I had the chance to hear Ambassador Capricia Marshall, Former United States Chief of Protocol, speak on “Why Etiquette Matters.” The bottom line: it does matter. It will always matter. Rules of etiquette will evolve with the times but they will always matter. So, in that spirit, this month I’m focusing on “Basic Things our Children Need to Know.”

USE “MAGIC” WORDS. Many teachers refer to “please,” “thank you” and “you’re welcome” as “magic” words. While not magic, they help society run smoothly. Teaching children to make eye contact and use these words will help them make a positive impression.

Back to the Basics

Offer Your Seat to Others. Children and teenagers should always offer their seat to older people. Teach your child how to politely do this and teach them how to stand to the side without drawing attention to themselves.

PRACTICE PATIENCE. Wait until everyone is seated, everyone is served, everyone is listening, or everyone has had a turn. This teaches patience, which is an important life skill. We do a lot of waiting in life! It also provides a good time to work on conversation skills.

PUT DOWN THE CELL PHONE. When you’re out in public, take away your child’s cell phone (and put yours down too)! This forces them to look around, to observe people, and provides excellent opportunities for conversation.

THE INSIDE VOICE. Mothers often say, “Please use your inside voice.” Children need to understand the difference. This is often harder for boys. Practice voice modulation. Give examples.

THINK OF OTHERS. Encourage children to open doors for others, help others with tasks, and to allow others to go first. Teach them to congratulate and cheer on others.

RESPOND TO INVITATIONS. As parents we often RSVP for our children, sometimes without even asking if they want to attend. Everyone is busy and invitations arrive via text and email. They all deserve a response. Discuss any invitations with your child and use the opportunity to teach them how to respond politely, even if declining because you won’t be available. Have them call the invitee to thank them and accept or explain why they cannot and maybe offer an alternative plan.

Discuss and practice these points at home. Enjoy this beautiful month and just keep doing your best.

Jennifer Daniel is a graduate of The Protocol School of Washington and she may be reached at Jennifer@polishedpeyton.com or visit her website at polishedpeyton.com.

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