Etiquette Tips from Polished Peyton

ET I Q U - from E T T E T I PS POLISHED PEYTON

ROOTED IN KINDNESS

by Jennifer Daniel

“Kind hearts are the gardens, kind thoughts are the roots, kind words are the flowers, kind deeds are the fruits. Take care of your garden. And keep out the weeds. Fill it with sunshine, kind words and kind deeds.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Afew years ago I attended a conference in Washington, DC. Soaking everything in, I had pages and pages of notes. Though I had been teaching etiquette for a long time, I’d been teaching in my small part of the world. In today’s fast-paced society, we connect with more people than we ever thought possible and it’s very easy to communicate with even those living hundreds of miles. This makes teaching etiquette tricky at times. One country or culture may do something one way while another does it a different way. Both ways are considered correct.

One morning I asked an instructor what I should do if I found myself in a situation at an event where I had no idea what behavior was correct. Though I know a lot about etiquette, it’s impossible for me to know everything in every situation especially with hundreds of people and many different cultures. There’s no “phone a friend” option. The instructor’s response: “Be kind. Be very kind.” I was incredulous! I inquired, “Be kind? No, seriously. What would I do?” The instructor replied, “Be kind. It’s universal.” I went back to my seat totally unsatisfied with that answer, and I could not stop thinking about it.

Good manners are, in fact, little kindnesses that show compassion, respect, friendship and care. And in today’s world, I can’t think of many things we need more. So this month, I’m listing some of my favorite “good manners” that are merely, when you really think about it, small acts of kindness.

★ Holding the door for someone. ★ Looking people in the eye and smiling. ★ Not interrupting, unless it’s an emergency. ★ Saying “Please” and “Thank you." ★ Saying “Congratulations!” ★ Learning to say, “I’m sorry.” ★ Letting someone else go first. ★ Clearing the table. ★ Leaving things better than you found them. ★ Sending thank you notes. ★ Complimenting a friend. ★ Helping a stranger. ★ Passing the bread basket before you take a piece. ★ Leaving a good tip. ★ Refusing to gossip. ★ Greeting people by name. ★ Knocking before entering a room. ★ Introducing yourself. ★ Returning items after you borrow them. ★ Sharing. ★ Not trying to steal the spotlight. ★ Cleaning up after yourself.

Spreading a little kindness is something we can all do

and behavior we can model for our children and grandchildren. Modeling kindness is teaching good manners. See?! You’re a teacher and didn’t even know it!