Eleven PDX Magazine - August 2019 by Eleven PDX

ISSUE 98 | AUG 2019

ELEVEN PDX MAGAZINE ELEVEN PDX MAGAZINE- -VOLUME VOLUME9,8,ISSUE ISSUE35

COMPLIMENTARY COMPLIMENTARY

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ELEVEN PDX MAGAZINE VOLUME 9 ◊ ISSUE No. 3

August 2019 THE USUAL 4 Letter from the Editor 4 Staff Credits

FEATURES Local Feature 12 KayelaJ

COLUMNS

Cover Feature 18

5 Aural Fix

Japanese Breakfast

Molly Burch Drab Majesty Gauche Jay Som

NEW MUSIC 8 Short List 8 Album Reviews Arthur Moon Black Belt Eagle Scout Ty Segall Shura

COMMUNITY Literary Arts 26

Liz Scott

Visual Arts 28

Emily Small

LIVE MUSIC 10 Musicalendar An encompassing overview of concerts in PDX for the upcoming month. But that’s

not all–the Musicalendar is complete with

a venue map to help get you around town.

MORE ONLINE AT ELEVENPDX.COM SOCIALS @ELEVENPDX

HELLO PORTLAND! Okay, I’m going to start out hot right off the bat with something that many people may not know about me: I absolutely do identify as queer. It’s not something I talk about often outside of art practice or an insular queer community—to be honest, it can be scary to talk about. While I recognize that I have the priveledge to walk around the world passing as a staight cis-woman, I in fact identify as a pansexual non-binary human floating through day to day, attempting to navigate the world as my best self. I bring this up here and now because this month’s ELEVEN issue is honestly very important to me. Many of the artists featured in this August issue are openly queer [Arthur Moon, Shura, and KayelaJ], writing songs about their experiences as queer individuals, including raw, vulnerable and emotional renditions of romance, anger and sadness. It’s actually stunning and remarkable to know that the world is shifting to a point where more LGBTQ+ experiences have a foot to stand on in a more mainstream context, especially as something more than a stereotype. It’s incredibly empowering and inspiring to listen to artists singing their truth.

ONLINE Michael Reiersgaard Kim Lawson

MANAGING EDITOR Eirinn Gragson (eirinn@elevenpdx.com)

FIND US ONLINE www.elevenpdx.com social channels: @elevenpdx

COPY EDITOR Chance Solem-Pfeifer SECTION EDITORS LITERARY ARTS: Scott McHale VISUAL ARTS: Dickie Lime CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Kayleigh O'Malley, Matthew Sweeney, Matthew Weatherman, Liz Garcia, Nathan Royster, Eric Swanson, Anthony King, Charles Trowbridge, Henry Whittier-Ferguson, Rose Swartz PHOTOGRAPHERS Mathieu Lewis-Rolland, Katie Summer, Todd Walberg, Michael Reiersgaard COVER DESIGN Katie Silver

Yours Truly,

COVER PHOTO Jackie Lee Young

Vintage Ads from ELEVEN PDX #33

- Eirinn Gragson, Managing Editor

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EXECUTIVE STAFF EDITOR IN CHIEF Ryan Dornfeld (ryan@elevenpdx.com)

GENERAL INQUIRIES getinvolved@elevenpdx.com ADVERTISING ryan@elevenpdx.com ELEVEN WEST MEDIA GROUP, LLC SPECIAL THANKS To all of our friends and family that make this project possible, and to those that champion tolerance, equality, generosity and kindness in the world. We love you best.

columns aural fix

AURAL FIX

up and coming music from the national scene

1 MOLLY BURCH AUG 27 | MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS Molly Burch is our modern day Patsy Cline with her slow rocking rhythms and punchy choruses. Her lyrics are written with sorrow, evident they’ve been steeped in pain. Yet the melodies are soft and delicate, the two swirled up into a dreamy haze. When you listen to her songs, specifically on her album Please Be Mine, you find yourself nodding in agreement with her affirmations of lost love while pleasantly cradled by the sweet happiness the instruments release. Born in LA, educated in Asheville, NC, and currently living in Austin, Molly Burch first arrived on the scene in 2017 with her first album Please Be Mine. With inspirations like Nina Simone and Billie Holiday, her voice has an almost theatrical tint to it, as she dramatizes her notes and pairs them with a sullen tone. Through the anchoring of her heavy lyrics and the alleviation brought on by the onset of her ethereal music, you’re sure to forget their tender heartache and enter into a consciousness of relief. In comparing her first record to its follow-up, First Flower, we’ve seen some healing from Burch. Please Be Mine reflected the

2 DRAB MAJESTY AUGUST 28 | WONDER BALLROOM LA-based duo Drab Majesty began as the solo project of Andrew Clinco, aka Deb Demure, before keyboardist Mona D (Alex Nicolaou) jumped on board around 2016. Compare the project’s 2015 full-length debut Careless with 2017’s The Demonstration and you get the sense that the addition of a second creative voice helped the project along a bit. Careless was anchored by a dynamite single, “The Foyer,” but ultimately marred by filler. The Demonstration was pound for pound an improvement sonically

denial of subconsciously facing a relationship’s end. How easily we can obsess over altering the bits of a relationship to what we want, yet those mends never hold up permanently. Then, First Flower weaves into Burch’s blues with warmer colors of hope. After all, the first flower of spring is typically a joyful occasion. Yet the nubile blossom must proceed with caution, much like someone fresh out of a relationship. They may appear radiant with a sense of renewal at first, but fresh exposure to the new conditions and environment can also equal new predators and threats. There comes a season when one must rebloom, regardless of the endeavor. Burch’s First Flower is the soundtrack to do just that. » – Kayleigh O'Malley and showcased a progression in Demure’s lyrical chops, which dipped more into apocalyptic imagery. The darkwave/post-punkinspired project has certainly grown over time, along with its cult following, tour schedules and bookings at festivals such as SXSW and Desert Daze. At the core, Drab Majesty’s blueprint is basically pure candy for devotees of The Cure, The Sisters of Mercy, and the rest— dreamy gothic melodrama on a cosmic scale, thanks to chorus pedal-laden guitar riffs and an electro pulse. The newest album, Modern Mirror, encapsulates the charm and excitement their music radiates but also shows a more contemplative side to the project lyrically. Modern Mirror calls to mind a hundred ‘80s darkwave and post-punk bands through its vintage sonic atmosphere and Demure’s detached baritone. But the romantic frustrations and yearning for meaning in the songs totally belong to this time. Mostly gone is the Bauhaus-esque occult imagery of The Demonstration, and in its place is an epic story of heartbreak and alienation. The emotional undercurrent of these up-tempo songs can sneak up on you. A great example is “Oxytocin” (featuring Mona D on lead vocals), which seems at first to be a straightforward bubblegum love song, until you realize it’s a confession of feeling numb and desperate to connect. The chorus of “Ellipsis” laments how “two modern minds won’t say what they want to,” summing up the album’s overarching theme of words lost in translation or fear. As Drab Majesty continue to elevate their game, they carve out territory close to the heart. » – Matthew Sweeney

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columns aural fix Photo by Jen Dessinger

8/1 THE HAGUE ELLY SWOPE • SPILLER DREAMING GHOSTS 8/2 CEDARS & CROWS SHELTER RED LOUDER OCEANS 8/3 THE GARCIA BIRTHDAY BAND 8/4 XYLØ JANE HOLIDAY ZOLITA 8/5 ALISON SUDOL NOSILA 8/6 UPSTATE THE LOWEST PAIR 8/7 NIGHT HERON MARTHA STAX • ORKIS 8/8 TREEPEOPLE 8/9 PORTLAND CELLO PROJECT’S EXTREME DANCE PARTY 8/10 THE ACCIDENTALS MEGAN SLANKARD 8/11 MERO VOLCANIC PINNACLES AMENTA ABIOTO 8/13 KATASTRO PERFECT BY TOMORROW MICAH THE RAPPER 8/14 GIANTS IN THE TREES 8/15 EZZA ROSE RULER BODIES ON THE BEACH 8/16 CASCADE CRESCENDO

8/17 THE PALMS BAY LEDGES 8/18 DATING POOL: THE GAME SHOW AN INCLUSIVE LIVE DATING GAME SHOW! 8/21 & 8/22 THE BLASTERS BIG SANDY AND HIS FLY-RITE BOYS JESSE DAYTON 8/23 ROBBIE FULKS ANNA TIVEL 8/24 LEADING PSYCHICS THE UPSIDEDOWN SECRET SPIES 8/25 IAN SWEET THE COURTNEYS BED BITS 8/26 GENERATIONALS PURE BATHING CULTURE

8/27 THE YAWPERS THE MACKS

8/30 TENTS DOUBLEPLUSGOOD SEA CAVES 8/31 ORQUESTRA PACIFICO TROPICAL SISTER MANTOS BLOSSOM DJ BETO (SOUNDWAY RECORDS) COOL KIDS PATIO SHOW FREE COMEDY + MUSIC 6 PM EVERY THURSDAY

PICKIN’ ON SUNDAYS FREE MUSIC ON THE PATIO 3 PM EVERY SUNDAY

(503) 231-WOOD ALL SHOWS 21+ 830 E. BURNSIDE SERVING BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER & LATE NIGHT HAPPY HOUR 3-6 EVERYDAY & 10PM-12AM SUN-THURS TICKETS AND MORE INFO AT DOUGFIRLOUNGE.COM

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3 GAUCHE AUGUST 11 | MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS A wildly infectious power-punk group, Gauche is at the epicenter of Washington DC’s dynamic and supportive musical scene. Singer and drummer Daniele Yandel (Priests) runs the label Sister Polygon. As for what kinds of bands she’s looking to support, she told the Washington City Paper, "We’re interested in finding people who are underrepresented or weren’t signed, making something weird enough where there might not be a normal outlet for it.” She and bandmate Mary Jane Regalado (Downtown Boys) first played together in Neonates. After that band dissolved, they kept playing music. Keyboardist Pearie Sol and guitarist Jason P Barnett joined them. Regarding the new bandmates, Regalado told Bandcamp, “It’s a real joy to play with the other people in Gauche because the stuff they play is so fucking sick, and I always want to play along to it.” Barnett recorded their debut EP Getting Away With Gauche, which Yandel released on her label. A little more Tom Tom Club than Talking Heads, a lot more Sonic Youth than The B-52s, their songs are short and catchy. This collective is crafting hypnotic hits that often carry deeper social commentary, delving into the modern woes created by our dependance on capitalism to make ends meet. On “Pay Day” they sing, “I know I can’t survive on this." Terror and anxiety ensue on “Running”—“I’m running out of options and I’m tired of being empty handed/ what is the point of my life now I’m here in this world." For their latest album, A People’s History of Gauche (Merge), saxophonist Adrienne CN Berry (Ted Leo and the Pharmacists) joins the band. He sings lead on “Dirty Jacket,” a bass-driven, horn-heavy romp reminiscent of PNW band Old Time Relijun. Berry says the song “attempts to maze through the foundational consequences of deep trauma and give words to the emotional and corporeal intelligences that—for better and for worse—find ways for us to survive, thrive, and interact with each passing moment.” If you miss your chance to see them at Mississippi Studios, get to know them better watching their often hilarious lo-fi music videos, featuring incredible costumes and wacky green-screen shots. » – Matthew Weatherman

columns aural fix Photo by Lindsey Byrnes

4 JAY SOM SEPTEMBER 19 | DOUG FIR LOUNGE You can safely say that Melina Duterte, who performs by the name Jay Som, has mastered the craft of indie pop-rock. After much buzz over her debut EP, Turn Into, prominent indie record label Polyvinyl signed Duterte and re-released it. Then, it was her first full-length album, Everybody Works, and a 2016 tour supporting Mitski and Japanese Breakfast, that propelled Duterte into dream-pop stardom. Although she has since relocated from the Bay Area to L.A., gained a significant following and climbed the ranks of festival lineups, she still recorded, produced, engineered and mixed her upcoming album, Anak Ko, herself at home. Furthermore, her airy and whimsical lo-fi sound, which fans find comfortably familiar and sonically pleasing, has not gone away. It just sounds a little bit more grown-up, something Duterte has been doing well, naturally, for a recording artist in her twenties. From the get go, Duterte has boasted refreshing confidence, and now that confidence is met with a newfound maturity. For being a young musician, only 25, the multi-instrumentalist is just as witty, quirky and creative with her music as she is poised. The title of her forthcoming Anak Ko bears significant meaning. It is Tagalog for “my child.” The daughter of Filipono immigrants, Duterte was inspired by an endearing text message her mother routinely sends, “Hi anak ko, I love you anak ko.” This universal sentiment and homage to her roots embodies the upcoming album. » – Liz Garcia

QUICK TRACKS

“Tenderness”

“Superbike”

A glittery yet nostalgic with a touch of funk to glamorize the indie-pop framework. The lyrics address the perils of social media.

You can tell “Superbike” is more reﬁned in its lush atmosphere. The fuzziness of a previous Jay Som is replaced by British Invasion guitars.

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new music album reviews

ALBUM REVIEWS THIS MONTH’S BEST

R REISSUE

L LOCAL RELEASE

Short List

Electric Youth Memory Emotion Raphael Saadiq Jimmy Lee King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard Infest The Rats’ Nest Oh Sees Face Stabber Ride Repetition Jidenna 85 To Africa Sheer Mag A Distant Call Ezra Furman Twelve Nudes Rae Spoon Mental Health Slipknot We Are Not Your Kind Common Let Love Sleater-Kinney The Center Won’t Hold Whitney Forever Turned Around

Buy it

Stream it

Disagree? Scold us: @ELEVENPDX

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Toss it

Arthur Moon Arthur Moon Velvet Elk Records When Lora-Faye Åshuvud, front player in the Brooklyn-based avant-pop band Arthur Moon, wrote the lead single “Homonormo,” she was questioning what equality means for queer people: “If we ‘settle down’ do my partner and I become a part of some respectability politics nightmare, where gay people are only OK if they mimic the structures of straight society?”

Black Belt Eagle Scout At the Party With My Brown Friends L Saddle Creek Records

At the Party With My Brown Friends is the second LP by Katherine Paul’s recording project, Black Belt Eagle Scout. Coming a year after her acclaimed 2018 debut, Mother of My Children, this new batch of songs has a sense of inevitability about it. Each one is a faithful preservation of a memory/ lived experience from the past year:

One may view the eponymous Arthur Moon through that lens of blurring expectations, imperfect-yet-convenient labels, or some kind of Kinsey scale for stereophonic sexuality. Sure, the album is comprised of pop music—in that it is a vocal-focused production with hooks— but Åshuvud is apt to turn it into a dadaist mutation, reveling in askew hooks and hazy ambiance. “I Feel Better” leans on a bass drum like guide rails through a joyous epiphany, while every second of “Infield” is stuttering and unexpected. Then, “Habitat” comes in, absolutely fraying distortion with volume fades. The vocals on “Homonormo” are vocoded (like much of the album), and the plucking banjo in the bridge is captivatingly out of tune. Meanwhile, the drums are slightly laggy, and the last lyrics are just as fantastically queer as everything that proceeded: “I think I want to settle down/ but weirder.” It’s pop music—in that it is a vocalfocused production with hooks—but Åshuvud is apt to turn it into a dadaist mutation. » – Nathan Royster

meditating while home alone, staring at the ocean with a friend or the feeling of seeing a loved one in a new light. Described in the press as dealing with “love, desire and friendship,” At the Party With My Brown Friends stands out in a number of ways as it invites the listener to experience a lush and dreamy time capsule. On tracks like “Half Colored Hair,” “Real Lovin,” and “Going To The Beach With Hayley,” Paul’s memories are recreated with such crystal, “Harry Potter”-like pensive clarity that one cannot help but find oneself right there with Paul, at the coast with Hayley. All the more impressive is the way lyrics appear throughout the album. Never saying more than what needs to be said, Paul works in fantastic arrangements, guitar solos, and wellplaced “oohs” and “ahhs,” managing to say everything that could never be satisfactorily put into words. » – Eric Swanson

new music album reviews

Ty Segall First Taste Drag City First Taste, Ty Segall’s latest album following last year’s mammoth Freedom’s Goblin, is a departure for the prolific fuzz maestro. Serving up more hyper-kinetic punk party vibes than the previous album’s hash pipe-fueled classic rock explorations, First Taste features 12 bombastic, neon-splattered fever dreams that trade on the garage rock elder statesman’s signature urgency while

Shura forevher Secretly Canadian

When Shura popped back up again on “BKLYNLDN” after nearly three years, it was a clear reminder that one of the more original voices in electropop still had something to say. We last heard from her on 2016’s Nothing’s Real, where her shimmering brand of heartbreak and soul-

navigating more contemplative narrative avenues. Segall busts the tension of the album’s consumerism-skewering opening track “Taste,” wide open with a volley of drum fills followed by a blisteringly propulsive salvo filled with every instrument he could conceivably lay his hands on. “Our salivating makes it all taste worse,” Segall buzzes over the song’s pulsating din of guitars, dual channel drums, bongos, synthesizers, harmonizers, saxophones, the kitchen sink, etc.—colliding and careening like a whirling dervish dancing inside a hurricane. The twitchy skronk of “Whatever” soon follows, with Segall’s vocals shifting to a more howling, high-register plain,

out. There is a constant sense of disquiet permeating First Taste, as if relaxation is a luxury its tight 42 minutes can’t abide. Lurking under First Taste’s arcade glow are varying degrees of unease and self-realization. “Fear is waking up endlessly in a bad dream,” Segall sings on the mandolin-powered track “The Arms,” only to observe later on album closer “Lone Cowboy,” that “we can live on our own/we can breathe all alone/but growing our legs and standing in place takes a long, long time” Just when you think you have this album all figured out, Segall floors you with “Ice Planet,” a stellar acappella ditty that’s the closest indie-rock will ever get to Boyz II Men territory. “Let your love rain down upon me,” he pleads in a

while the song’s miasmic jitter is sourced by Segall’s Freedom Band cohorts, comprised of Charles Moothart, Emmett Kelly, Ben Boye, Shannon Lay and Mikal Cronin. Studio tinkering abounds on the album’s first half: winds whistle, heartbeats murmur, chains clang and instrumental song sketches faze in and

layered, honey-glazed croon. While First Taste isn’t the first we’ve heard of Segall in his decade-long career, the weird color coding herein marks a bold departure for the already adventurous musician. Like diving into a vat of Kool-Aid, live wire in hand, First Taste is the jolt we need right now. » – Anthony King

searching vibed its way to the top lists of critics and listeners alike. forevher, due out in August, picks up where that slightly melancholic, but always catchy, sound left off. Where Nothing’s Real seemed to wrap around itself in moments, searching for meaning within its notes, forevher takes an outward-facing stance. Full of pomp and punch, forevher finds itself bouncing on bigger beats than we’ve seen from Shura. It looks for funk, and she drives the tracks forward with pronounced control over the vocal lines, alternating between staccato hits and languid lay-outs. On “Side Effects,” the first full track on the album, she sings, “I got out/I got free/you don’t got no hold on me/I don’t feel those side effects when you’re gone …” It’s a proclamation that informs the album’s thread: a sort of freedom that comes, as freedom typically does, with strings attached.

“Tommy” leads with a spoken-word section: an old man lamenting a love lost to time. The music is framed by soft piano vamps that wouldn’t sound out of place on an R&B track straight out of 1996. It’s got a sense of longing with just enough soul to fill out the ballad. “Flyin’” finds her ruminating on the Jesus origin story, trying to place its improbability alongside the feelings of love. She finds a synthesis of sentiments here, alternating between soft piano and a bass-driven oomph to call out the typically opposed feelings of new love: fear and euphoria. forevher is a concept album at its core. It’s the journey from break-up to newfound love with all the tangles in between. The instrumentals feel like a step up for Shura, and it’s clear that the variety and deftness put her in a place where she feels, for now at least, free. » – Charles Trowbridge

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live music

AUGUST CRYSTAL BALLROOM

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1332 W BURNSIDE

The Psychedelic Furs | James | Dear Boy Yellow Claw | Hekler Dean Lewis An Orchestral Rendition of Dr. Dre: 2001

Japanese Breakfast | Bedouine | And And And Xavier Rudd

THEATER 2 ROSELAND 8 NW 6TH

10 Flying Lotus in 3D 11 George Clinton & PFunk | Dumpstaphunk | Fishbone 16 King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard

20�21 Daniel Caesar - Case Study 01:Tour

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Demons & Wizards - First and Only US Tour Gov’t Mule | Nikki Lane Stephen Marley | DJ Shacia Payna Floydian Slips

FIR 3 DOUG 830 E BURNSIDE

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MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS 3939 N MISSISSIPPI

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live music

AUGUST MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS 3939 N MISSISSIPPI

WONDER BALLROOM 128 NE RUSSELL

The Drums Weyes Blood Tuxedo Drab Majesty The Midnight

HOLOCENE

1001 SE MORRISON

RONTOMS

426 SW WASHINGTON

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Hustle and Drone | Seance Crasher And And And | Marshall Poole Tribe Mars | Strange Hotels Help | Wild Powwers

KELLY'S OLYMPIAN

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600 E BURNSIDE

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Christa Buckland & the Broken Hearted | D.H. Scott | Tobias

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features AUGUST POLARIS HALL

635 N KILLINGSWORTH CT 7 Pixx | Rosie Tucker 24 Ryley Walker | Wild Pink 30 The Intelligence | The Lavender Flu

REVOLUTION HALL 10 1300 SE STARK 2 Toots and The Maytals 7 Asleep At The Wheel

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Marc Maron - Hey, There’s More Tour Everything Is Terrible! Boz Scaggs: Out of The Blues Tour 2019 Bad Books | Bother Bird Homeshake | KeithCharles Godspeed You! Black Emperor Grails | Nathan Bowles Ron Funches: Merriment Marauder Tour

CLUB 11 TOFFEE 1006 SE HAWTHORNE ALBERTA STREET PUB 12 115 NW 5TH The Alliance Comedy Showcase (Sundays 9pm) Karaoke with The King (Mondays)

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The Chuck Israels Nextet (Wednesdays)

Sunday Lunchtime Swing with the Hot Lovin' Jazz Babies Anna Fritz The Cascadians | The Georgetown Orbits | Buddy Jays Jamaican Jazz

LOCAL FEATURE

THE SECRET SOCIETY 13 116 NE RUSSELL Honky Tonk (Tuesdays) Zydeco (Wednesdays) Swing (Thursdays) 3 The Hot Club Time Machine 4 The Secret Sessions 5 The Moth StorySLAM

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Stumptown Swing | Pink Lady & John Bennett Jazz Band Matthew Lindley Band | Stars of Cascadia | Tobias Berblinger

Tezeta Band | Mink Shoals Smut City Jellyroll Society James Mason and The Gypsy Hicks High Step Society | DJ Nara | The Hot Club Time Machine

WHITE EAGLE 14 836 N RUSSELL 2 3 4 6 7 8 9 10 11 13

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by Eirinn Gragson

KayelaJ

ayelaJ wants to make it big, and there’s no doubt that she’s got what it takes to get there. Born and raised in Portland, Makayela Johnson (or KayelaJ, as you’ll hear her on the mic), is upfront—not only about her Portland roots and love for community but also in speaking loud and proud about herself, her past, and her experiences in coming into her identity as a talented queer woman of color. Refreshingly vulnerable, Johnson’s debut album, D.Y.K.E.: Don’t Yield, Keep Enduring screams honesty, unfolding as a biographical concept album presented in three parts: depression, rage, and love (both self-love, and love for those around her). Working with mostly local producers, from childhood friend Fountaine to European producer Dred Eric, Johnson was able to see her vision through while entrenched in the Portland hip-hop scene that is alive with talent. KayelaJ is a multifaceted artist who also crafts in the form of script writing—she wrote a short film for her mixtape Homage with the help of Devin Boss at Kill Class Productions.

features ELEVEN connected with

KayelaJ about her newest album, her upbringing, how she ended up where she is now, and the sure to be shining future ahead of her:

college and really started to get all A’s and stuff. As I got older, I didn’t really believe I could do music. Even though I was talented, I just started to think about real life.

[Trigger Warning: this article contains reference to sexual assault.]

11: Yeah, there’s social pressures, especially in music and art.

ELEVEN: So, you’re from

Portland.

KayelaJ: Northeast Portland born and raised! 11: And I hear you’ve been rapping since you were six years old? KJ: Second grade. How old is second grade? Six or seven. All I can remember is second grade because I’m an SEI kid—Self Enhancement Incorporated—they’re a program for underprivileged youth. Before NE Portland was extremely gentrified there were a lot of black kids, and they [SEI] had all these different programs. You know, they had dance classes, free studio, gym, you had people who’d do sports. It’s public school, it’s a summer school and it’s an afterschool program. 11: And they have art classes? KJ: Yeah. During one of their summer programs, I’m getting ready to go into second grade or whatever, we have our assemblies and we have our different teams, our different colored shirts, sitting criss-cross applesauce in a line on the floor. They were calling people up there because you get points for the summer, and however many points you get, you get real money, and it helps you buy your school clothes and stuff like that. So I had wrote this rap ‘cause I got inspired to rap by watching Lauryn Hill’s music video, “That Thing.” To be honest, it was pretty corny, but to them it was tight. 11: Did you continue between then and now? KJ: I stopped when I was in middle school. I just know that I started to really think about

KJ: I definitely felt that, but I kept writing. That’s where it comes from now—I kept writing, in my notes, just raps. I think that in the back of my head, I did still want that, but I just wanted to focus on going to college, wanting to be a counselor. I didn't’ perform or anything, but also Portland wasn’t how it is now. [Now] there’s an abundance of hip hop shows, there’s hella opportunities to get booked, hella venues that want us to be there, there’s a bunch of journalists in the scene writing about people. So I didn’t really perform, but towards the end of 2017, I was getting ready to go into my senior year at Lewis and Clark, [and] I started to go through like an enlightenment with myself and with my identity. I came out as gay. I instantly had more confidence, not even just coming out as gay, I think I was more on some shit like, “I just want to be happy and do what I want to do.” Sometimes I do what I think that I’m supposed to do and not what I want to do. That’s what I was doing and it was low key making me miserable. I started doing music and the rest is history. I didn’t have any resources, but I had some homies who went to SEI with me and who had been doing music in the scene the whole time. Fountaine was one of them. I was there when he first started learning to make beats and rap. He sent one of his first raps to me. 11: Do you two collaborate a lot? Doesn’t he produce? KJ: He produced one of the interludes on my album—he produced “Rage.” My next projects will be a lot more collaborative, but this first project I just had a lot of shit that I had to say for myself and just get off my chest. I wanted to make an album off my own clout.

AUGUST WHITE EAGLE 836 N RUSSELL

TURN! TURN! TURN! 8 NE KILLINGSWORTH

Name That T-t-tune (Tuesdays)

HAWTHORNE THEATRE

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1507 SE 39TH

VALENTINES

232 SW ANKENY

Karaoke with Atlas (Mondays) I Love Cats and Drinking! First Purrsday Massacooramaan | Princess Dimebag Halcyon Arbor Daze | Pareidolia | Kris Abyss Dollar Coat Hell | Nancy My Goons Celebration of House

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features AUGUST ALADDIN THEATER

18 3017 SE MILWAUKIE 5 7 9 10 17 18 23 27 31

Napoleon Dynamite: A Conversation with Jon Heder

The FIXX Crash Test Dummies

HOLLYWOOD THEATRE A not-for-profit organization whose mission is to entertain, inspire, educate and connect the community through the art of film while preserving an historic Portland landmark.

4122 NE Sandy Blvd, 97212 503.493.1128 hollywoodtheatre.org

THE GOODFOOT 19 2845 SE STARK 1 3 7 8 10 14 15 17 22 28

Boys II Gentlemen (Tuesdays) Soul Stew w/ DJ Aquaman & Friends (Fridays) Diggin Dirt Get On Up - Stevie Wonder Remixed Foolish Hearts Acousti Brown Stallion Tropitaal ft Von Kiss | Anjali & The Kid 1 Young Mica | /Mal London | Adebisi Citizens Of The Universe | Brizzleman Trio Subtonic | Dan Balmer | Etta's World Grupo Masato High Pulp

STAR THEATER 20 13 NW 6TH 3 9 11 17 18 19 22 23 24 25 28

THE LIQUOR STORE 21 3341 SE BELMONT 2 10 16 20 23

DANTE'S 22 350 W BURNSIDE 2 3 4 7 8 9 11 16 18

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11: That’s a good jumping off point. There’s a lot to this album! And you do have a lot of different producers here that you’ve been working with. KJ: Most of them are my friends. I’m not quite comfortable yet working with producers that I don’t know. I remember when I first got into the music scene and I had to damn near beg people for beats. But once I dropped “Kayela to the MF J,” that was it. ‘Cause they was like, “She could really rap!” 11: It’s really interesting how you reference Instagram [like in “IG Girls”], and how that fuels people being able to see you. How do you see Internet culture as changing the way musicians are operating? KJ: I think the Internet has changed everything. It is everything! Because we don’t have to depend on gatekeepers—we don’t have to depend on the OG hip-hop heads who only fuck with hip-hop that’s male chauvinists. ‘Cause these are the people who are mostly at the radio stations, and they’re saying what’s hot and they’re saying what’s not. And the same thing with journalists, they have their certain artists that they’re gonna fuck with, and that their not gonna fuck with, and as a result of that, it makes artists want to shape themselves to what’s trending. It’s like, we don’t have to ride those trains anymore. There’s artists that a whole bunch of people don’t know about, but they’re touring and making money because they have their fan base on their social media page. And whatever they need to say, whatever they need to do—with a click of a button, they can reach these people. The internet is putting money in a lot of people’s pockets, in a lot of underprivileged people’s pockets. 11: And I’ve noticed a lot more queer artists kind of coming to the forefront and being more openly queer and just being like, “Hey, this is the norm.”

KJ: Because the more people do it, the more everybody else feels like it’s all good. Like, “This person just posted that… and their good! Life didn’t end!” You look at their comments and you see all the love and support that they’re getting and you think, “That person’s doing it… I could do it too!” Us humans are so self absorbed, we think we’re the only ones going through that specific thing, but then you put it out there and everybody be like, “Oh shit, me too! I’m depressed too! I’m gay too!” 11: Which is why it’s so important! I think it’s really refreshing that you have these really vulnerable songs that are out there and that people are starting to have these conversations with other people, because that’s how people heal and move forward. KJ: Exactly. You can’t just bury something and expect to heal, and I think that was my whole thing. I like to be like, “I’m good, I’m okay, I’m so happy,” and that was something I was going to take to my grave, the molestation and stuff like that. I figured out a way to say it that was not too much for me, and not too much for everybody else. 11: Do you feel OK about [being so vulnerable and] having it out in the open now? KJ: I feel like my healing really begins now. I thought that I was healing, I thought that I had forgiven this person, but I realize now that I was just pretending. I think my real healing begins now, I feel like now I’ve truly accepted it. You know how we do: you try to make it seem like that was what you wanted, or that was okay. In some ways you make it seem like that was okay so you can feel better about it, because no one wants to feel like their autonomy was taken away. 11: It’s one of those things that a lot of people also have behind them, that people hide for their whole lives. I think that it’s really brave to have something like that

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features so candidly in your song, and it might really help other people too. There might be, hopefully moving forward, this culture of being able to talk more about it and therefore maybe that kind of stuff will start to die out. KJ: I think it’s also like, you have to set the tone for people to want to be receptive to talk about those kind of heavy topics. Like, if you bring somebody in a dark room, they’re automatically going to tense up. But if you bring somebody in this space that’s bright and good vibes and you just kind of ease them into those topics, they’re going to be more receptive. I tried to do that with “Depression Is Trash.” 11: Last question: do you have a dream collaboration? Not just local, anywhere in the world. Is there someone you’d love to work with? KJ: I have three or four dreams. Nicki Minaj, Kendrick Lamar, Janelle Monae. Ah what the hell, Beyoncé and Rihanna! I love Chance the Rapper too though. I want to be super huge! I want to do music, I want to do acting, I want to write a few scripts. I’m really good. I used to write little books when I was younger and I used to love to read books. I got my podcast, “Press n’ Play With KayelaJ,” [and] I want to have a talk show one day, or at least host something. I just love talking and I’m a good talker. I wanna be global, I want to be as big as I can! »

KayelaJ plays live at Mississippi Studios 8/15/19

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KayelaJ D.Y.K.E. Self-released KayelaJ has arrived. D.Y.K.E. (Don’t Yield, Keep Enduring), the Portland rapper’s highly anticipated debut album, is a journey from the darkness of adolescent depression and sexual confusion into the spotlight of a self-assured womanhood, and now that she’s here, she’s got a lot to say. As one of the handful proudly and vocally gay rappers anywhere, she occupies a uniquely important space, acting as a counterpoint to the rest of a genre, which is so often mired in misogyny and homophobia, despite its having the greatest potential of any musical form to enact social change. It’s a huge weight to bear, but she does it gracefully, with a sense of humor that refuses to pull any punches: “So woman I make men start squirmin’ in they seats/not knowing whether to be mad or beat their meat/I just wanna really make a difference,” she spits on “I’m Doing This.” It’s a hilarious line, but one that also deftly peels back the weird and complex layers of power, sexuality, and objectification that typically surround a female performer being watched by a male audience. D.Y.K.E. (Don’t Yield, Keep Enduring) features a stable of producers, including Uncle Pizza, i’m broke, Blangblanglang, DRED ERIC, Sir Nai, Fountaine, and Jason Undefined, but the album feels sonically cohesive, stretching out within the loose boundaries between spacey lo-fi and trap.KayelaJ’s uniquely catchy voice tie everything together. It could be said that she isn’t always an incredibly technical rhymer, but honestly that’s a good thing here. Most of the hardest hitting lines get their strength from their simplicity, their use of repetition, and the raw emotion underneath: “And to my sister, don’t you remember when I had cuts?/Long before I made cuts I had cuts,” she raps on “Depression Was Trash,” one of the songs that delves into a painful personal history of depression, but does so with a levity and dark humour that makes it all the more powerfully relatable. At 18 tracks, the album is a substantial journey, but one that’s well worth it, delivering us right where we should be, comfortably within ourselves. » - Henry Whittier-Ferguson

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by Charles Trowbridge PHOTOS BY KATIE SUMMER

FEATURES

We tend to think of prolific creatives as operating in a sort of manic typhoon. Insular, driven and pushing themselve s be yond boundar ie s, the y carry a mythical aura, spoken of in hushed tones with raised eyebrows. In truth, it’s usually exactly that. Occasionally, it is an exercise in control. A cathartic pummeling of life situations and imposed expectations. For Michelle Zauner, also known as the driving mind behind Japanese Breakfast, it’s a mixture of both, framed by a desire to exert creative influence and introspection on the world around her. In her earlier years, Zauner crisscrossed the United States touring with various bands, from the Northeast to the Northwest, grinding out dates on the road and honing a sound that would come to encompass both a geographic and sonic expanse. She created a frothing wake of breathless reviews with 2016’s Psychopomp, and somehow managed to top that with 2017’s Soft Sounds from Another Planet. During her rise, she managed to find time to write several essays, two of which appeared in Glamour Magazine and the New Yorker, leading

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to a television show, a book deal, and a hosting gig on the VICE Munchies series Close to Home. It’s a heat check of fairly unmatched proportions, especially for an indie artist whose visions of greatness were frequently tempered by living in the music industry’s version of a ‘flyover state.’ Growing up in Eugene, while not bereft of creative punch, left something to be desired for an aspiring musician as she watched bands skip straight from Portland to San Francisco. Zauner remembers those moments. Today, as she prepares to bring the act back to the homefront and headline the Crystal Ballroom, ELEVEN had a chance to catch up with one of the hardest working people in showbiz and chat about her creative drive, the challenges of switching from writing songs to writing books, and expectations for her upcoming music project.

ELEVEN: We have a ton of questions for you because you're kind of a Renaissance woman! You're working on a memoir, you scored a video game, you've hosted a food and travel series. And then, on top of that, you've produced music videos for yourself and Better Oblivion Community Center.

Where does that creative drive come from? How do you have your fingers in so many pies and keep everything afloat? Michelle Zauner: I don't know where it comes from. I think that I am just a sensitive person and have this real innate desire to make things and try to connect with people and have people understand me. I think that it sounds like I am involved with many different things, but I think at their core, all of those mediums revolve around telling some type of story. I think that that's what's really entrancing to me, is trying to tell a story in different ways. As the band grew, and it started as a way to just express... It was the first project that I really felt like I was my own in every way. So, Japanese Breakfast was me, not only musically, but also how I represented it visually. All of the things that surround this project are things that I felt like I could creatively direct. From that, I just started getting these other opportunities and wanting to do a good job at them. Just getting approached and that igniting my journey in creating through these other mediums. They all just snowballed into each other, I think. The Japanese Breakfast album resulted in me directing a number of music videos for the project. People liked what I made and asked me to direct their videos. There were bands like Better Oblivion Community Center with Conor Oberst – he's always been a hero of mine – and Phoebe Bridgers, whose music I really enjoy. How could I say no to that? It was just finding different ways to express myself. I just think that I try to stay busy, because I think that I'm running away from something, mentally. 11: Realistically speaking, do you say no to projects? It seems like if you get approached to do something cool, you just jump on it. Is that the case if it aligns with your creative ethos? Do you just want to go for it? MZ: I think for the first three years, I really tried to say yes to most things that were remotely interesting to me. And now, this year, in order to preserve quality control, I have to say no to a lot more stuff that seems really cool and is a little bit harder to walk away from. It's just prioritizing more so this year, more than any other year, I think. It's a really great position to be in. 11: Good problem to have! It seems like most of your projects line up closely with music and art, so I'm wondering, how did the VICE Munchies show come up? Did you pitch it or did someone pitch you on it? And then moving forward with it, what was it like? Were the challenges different than maybe producing an album or creating a music video or things like that? MZ: I was approached to do the Munchies show by Clifford Endo, who's the head of video at Munchies. He's half Japanese, and he'd read my essay, “Crying in H Mart,” in the New Yorker. I wrote the beginnings of that essay in 2016, around the same time that I wrote my first record, Psychopomp. My mom had just passed away and I was connecting to grief in a number of

different ways to just process what was happening. I wrote a piece called “Love, Loss, and Kimchi” around the same time that I was working on Psychopomp, and won Glamor Magazine's Essay of the Year in 2016. I worked on that concept some more about food and grief and Korean heritage and turned that into another essay that was published in New Yorker, which Clifford Endo read. He had this concept for this show that was like, what is fusion cuisine? And, from what I interpreted, how fusion food has gotten a bad rap, and that there are these sort of, “authentic” versions of fusion. It's about migration cuisine, and how a group of Japanese immigrants can create this kind of food in Peru when they immigrated there as workers, and how they adapted to Peruvian ingredients in the Japanese style to create this type of Nikkei cuisine or Turkish Chinese cuisine. We wanted to meet with people in New York that had this kind of experience, because I think that he really related to me growing up in America and how my mom would make two different meals. So, a lot of times, fusion was just eating part of my dad's dinner and my mom's dinner. I think a lot of immigrant kids have that kind of experience. He thought that I would be a really good person to be in that role, and it was definitely very scary and challenging. Any web content series is a really fast turnaround, and it's a really sensitive subject, you know? I felt this real pressure to learn a lot about a type of history that's actually not very commonly taught, or there's not a whole lot of resources. So, it was very scary and sensitive trying to cram in all of this history about different migration patterns of migrant workers and how that impacted families in a very short period of time. It was also the first creative project where I wasn't a creative director – I was just the host. I had some input, but it wasn't really like I could guide the project the way that I wanted to. But it was a really interesting experience. I'm glad that I was a part of it. 11: Did you find that lack of creative control a little bit liberating, in that you didn't have to necessarily carry the full weight of the production, but you still had a prominent voice in it? Or are you someone that really likes to have that end-toend fingerprint? MZ: I think I just didn't have the capacity to take that... It was really hard for me. It's really, really hard for me to not have complete creative control. So yeah, I think that... Yeah, I don't know. It was really hard for me. It was harder for me than it was liberating, I would say. 11: There’s a connective line here: the domino effect from the essays that you were writing, into being approached to do this show, and then now a full-fledged memoir that you're working on. Earlier, you mentioned you like to tell stories and it's important to you to have that narrative. It sounds like there's some strong narrative threads here across these projects. As you dive into working on this memoir, how are you incorporating some of these other elements of your creative

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FEATURES

persona into it? And do you find that starting to inform the music that you're making as well? MZ: I feel like with this book, because it's a memoir, there is very little persona. I think that it's just a ruthlessly difficult retelling of what happened. I think that the main thread between a lot of these projects, particularly the Japanese Breakfast albums and the non-fiction and this part that happened with Munchies, is just my mom passing away in 2014, and how it just informed my work for the last almost five years. It was a really big thing, and I think that for the next Japanese Breakfast album, it's the first time that I'm wanting to turn away from that and write about other parts of life. But I think that for me, in order to do that, I felt like there was so much more of the story to be told. And what better way to tell it than a 90,000 word book? I think that, if anything, I'm in this place now where I'm taking a break from writing the book, because I turned in my rough draft and the editor has it and it's a really long back and forth now. It's not anywhere near being released, but now starts the clean-up process with the editor. And so I am in this new chapter where the editor has it, she's going to have it for probably a couple of months, and I'm going to go off and not think about it and work on new projects. But, after spending a lot of time with the book, it really had me appreciate the album writing process, and bound back into these comforting arms of writing music again. And for a while, because it was just album, touring, album, touring, I wasn't really very excited to make a third record, and I really didn't want to push myself to make something that I wasn't really excited or ready for, because I think that people can hear that. I think that just trying on a new project and focusing on that really made me excited and want to return to making a record again. It was a project I really wanted to do and push myself to take on, but it also helped me take the space that I needed from music. So, it wasn't just like, I don't want to make a record just so I can start the touring process over again and make money. I want to make a substantial piece of work that resonates with me and, by extension, resonates with other people. It really gave me an appreciation for doing something I think I took for granted for a little bit, because I've been making records since I was 16 years old, for almost 15 years now. I think I needed some time away from it to really appreciate it. I think you need to do that sometimes.

excited about the new project? MZ: I think that I'm excited to collaborate with some new people. Soft Sounds from Another Planet was such an insular record, and I wanted it that way, but it was just me and Craig Hendrix working together and playing all the instruments, and it was a really short and concentrated period of time. This time, I want to just take more time and maybe bring on some new people and some new creative collaborations and see what we can do together to just make it more expansive and bigger and hopefully better than the last one. I guess it's just nice getting back into the saddle of something that's very familiar to you. With writing a book, I've never written a book before, it was my first time. It feels very out of your element and thrown into the deep end, and you don't know if what you're doing is wrong. And I also don't have as big of a community of people to be like, is this normal? How did you deal with this? With music, it's like, I've done it for so long that I know. There's more immediate gratification, is something that I've noticed. It's like, when a song starts coming together, there’s something physically that feels very good about it and you feel like you're on the right path and it's very intuitive. I think that writing a book feels way more like... It's just a lot. It's just like banging against the wall over and over again, honestly. I feel like I can trust myself a little bit more with writing an album, and I think that I earned that over the years. With writing a book, it's so new for me, so I feel like I'm having a mental breakdown every other day, because I don't know if it's going well. The highs and lows are much bigger with writing a book. I think with music, I feel like I have a little bit more trust in myself that I'm making something good, and if I feel like it's good and interesting, I have a little bit more validation in my back pocket that it might be.

I want to make a “ substantial piece of

work that resonates with me and, by extension, resonates with other people.

11: You said the “familiar arms of recording an album” and making songs. What's your favorite part about that process and why do you enjoy that process so much? And then secondarily, what specifically right now that you're working on, maybe from a musical perspective, has got you the most

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”

11: With that confidence aspect in mind, is there anything, I don't want to say out of the box, but just out there that you're excited or that you're wanting to try or that you've been thinking about? Honestly, it seems like you’ve just got that swagger now and you're ready to attack it, and it's like you feel like you can't miss. I'm wondering if that's given you some confidence to really push into maybe a fairly different direction than you would have in the past? MZ: I've noticed that about myself, every time I go into the record with something in mind, I am really stifled by it. So, I'm just trying to do what I know. I think that just the skillset that I've built up over the years has changed, and that, in turn, will change the music. And I think that bringing in some new creative collaborators and possibly working with a couple new producers to help pull me out of my comfort zone will also help. I

mean, I want to do a combination of what I know and what I don't know, so it's just a matter of pulling those things together. But I'm not exactly sure how it will turn out. I think that one thing that happened over the course of the last two Japanese Breakfast albums and also working on the Sable soundtrack, I've become a lot more competent of a producer. I think applying those kinds of lessons that I've learned will really help take it to an exciting new place. 11: Along those lines, you're going to be headlining Crystal Ballroom coming up! Along your musical journey, less at this point maybe from a musical perspective and more from a geographical perspective, you left Oregon for a little while, played in a couple other bands, and now you're back. I'm guessing, growing up in Eugene, you probably spent a good amount of time going to shows in Portland. How does that play into your creative identity? MZ: It's interesting. I actually have a chapter in my book that's all about going to the Crystal Ballroom for the first time. It must've been 2005 or 2006, maybe. In Eugene, a lot of times (and now I understand why as a touring musician) a lot of times touring acts will go straight from Portland to San Francisco and skip Eugene entirely. Understandably so. A lot of times, I would just be so devastated when these indie bands would come through the West Coast and not play my town. I grew up with stricter parents, and so I was only able to go to shows in Portland if I had an adult chaperone and it was a weekend. The first time that all of those stars aligned was when I saw Built To Spill live at the Crystal Ballroom, and this little band called Denali opened for them. I went with my best friend, and I was just blown away. Denali had this frontwoman who played the guitar, and it was the first time that I saw that. I was 15 years old, I think, and it was such an essential moment for me as a musician, to be like, I just have to do that. She can do it, that means that I can do it, too. Shortly after

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FEATURES

that, I started learning how to play the guitar and writing songs. So, the Crystal Ballroom was such an important place for me, I think that I really owe it to that establishment for a lot of the reasons why I am a musician. To be able to headline there is really, really special for me. I hope that a lot of people attend, because it'll be embarrassing. It feels really special and unreal to me. It was a very big bucket list moment, getting in to play there. We opened for Parquet Courts there a couple years ago with Jay Som, and I said on that stage maybe a year and a half ago that we'd be back to headline someday. It feels really good to have said I made good on that promise. 11: In terms of bucket list moments, have you found that you've had more opportunity to check those off in the last few years? What are some other highlights? MZ: I always say that my career at this point has surpassed even my wildest expectations and fantasies. I honestly never thought I would play the Crystal Ballroom. And even just playing the WOW Hall in Eugene was a really big deal. Or even getting to play Portland as a touring band or do a five week tour was a huge deal for me. I've been playing music for 10 years, and touring in DIY bands and sleeping on floors, and it never happened for me. And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, it started to. It was a really long time coming for me, and I'm almost glad that I was a late

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bloomer in terms of my musical career, because I feel like I can really appreciate all of the little things. Even just getting to stay in a hotel and spend the night is so amazing. It took a long time to build to that, and so I feel very moved by it all. Getting to tour in Asia and Europe was really amazing. Getting to travel the world, and especially play in Seoul, Korea, where I was born and I have some family, it was really special. We played Central Park a couple of weeks ago, which was unreal. We opened for Tegan and Sara, my high school heroes, Slowdive, and got to share bills with really amazing people. We got to play Red Rocks in Colorado. So yeah, it's been an unreal time, honestly. It's all been pretty great. And And And is opening, and they're a local Portland band and good friends of mine. And actually, we recorded the first version of “Everybody Wants to Love You” together in a trailer outside of Oregon. The first album was recorded in Eugene, largely. I'm excited, because Nate from And And And was actually the first vocal on that “Everybody Wants to Love You” chorus, so I'm sure that he'll probably sing with us that night. He's one of my favorite songwriters, and And And And is one of my favorite Portland bands, so I'm really excited to get to play with them again. »

Japanese Breakfast plays live at Crystal Ballroom 8/23/19

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LITERARY ARTS Liz Scott by Rose Swartz

memoir could be easy to write. Or a memoir should be easy to write. But what if the memoir was about your family history, your father abandoned your family when you were very young, and your mother was a narcissist who confabulated fact and fiction at every turn? What if any evidence of ancestors or living relatives had been hidden from you for nearly your entire life? Writing a memoir then would not be so easy at all. Yet Portland writer and psychologist Liz Scott has managed to pull together an engaging, haunting, and sometimes hilarious account of her family history. In the process, she compiles photographs, letters, lists, conversations, anecdotes, and memories to tell all she can about her family’s disjointed past. Her memoir, This Never Happened, came out earlier this year on University of Hell Press. I had the chance to speak with Scott a few weeks ago about her process. ELEVEN: I read your book last week while I was camping alone in the forest. I have to admit, there were parts of the not-knowing that really scared me. Writing something like this seems like such a daunting task. I wonder how long you’d been thinking of writing this book, and secondarily, how long did it take to actually write? Liz Scott: Well, I’m 72, so I’d say about 70 years. I’d been thinking about it for a long time. I blocked the [urge to write] though because my mother’s greatest desire was to be a famous writer and I wanted nothing more than to be nothing like her. It wasn’t until after she died in 2005 that I started really thinking about it. It was hard because everything was so scattered. There wasn’t really an obvious narrative arc to follow. It took a couple years to come up with a way to approach the whole thing. The writing of it took three years. 11: You’ve written short stories and essays as well. Do you find it easier to write fiction or non-fiction? LS: I’m not very good at story, so writing essays and the memoir are easier for me. The fiction form that comes most easily to me is flash fiction because whatever arc there is is a tiny little arc. I’m a psychologist, so I’m always interested in what’s underneath the story, what emotional truth there is… Writing my own story was easier in a way because I knew the material, but it was obviously not easy because it’s difficult material and I had to really ask myself if I was ready to be this… bald out in the world. 11: Because there were so many unanswered questions about your parents and your family, did you feel compelled to include everything you could find?

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Photo by Julie Keefe LS: Yes. I wish I could have found more. Everything that’s in the book is what I’ve found. I found out after my mother’s death that she was the youngest of 8 or 9 kids. I’ve tried to do Facebook searches to find these people with no luck. Since she was the youngest, her siblings I’m sure are dead, but I probably have tons of cousins out there. And my father’s been dead a long time, and he was estranged from his family too. One of the challenges was trying to make peace with the amount of unanswered questions. I went into it really hoping I could quench some of that need but in the long run I had to make peace with the fact that I will never really understand. 11: About your decision to arrange the book nonchronologically: was that related to the fact that you don’t have all the facts? As a reader, it helped me believe you more… not that I find the book totally unbelievable but I come from a family of over-sharers, so it’s like the polar opposite. The shuffling of time helped me get into the story more… LS: I don’t think there’s a particular narrative arc to this book, but I think there is an emotional arc. So I’ve got 75, I guess you call them chapters, though some of them only have one word, and what I did was I put them on index cards and lay them all out on my living room floor, kept moving them around, trying to find an order. I would just write whatever came to me and finish that piece. I knew when I wrote the Passover piece that’s where I wanted it to end, so I almost went backwards. I think of the [chapters] as flashbacks because the story does start before I was born. The flashbacks are not chronological either. I think there’s a chronological-emotional arc that overrides the story arc.

community literary arts

11: There was an essay that came out last spring (on Lithub.com, by T Kira Madden) called “Against Catharsis: Writing Is Not Therapy.” After reading your book and learning that you are a psychologist, and reading your recent essay in The Millions, I wanted to ask your thoughts on this. Memoir and creative nonfiction writing is often associated with catharsis or therapy… could you weigh in on this?

have a decent relationship, so after her death it was weird because it was almost instantaneous, that the polarizing stick we were carrying, me at one end and her at the other, disappeared. Wwe were each able to talk from both sides of our experience of our mother. That really is a place in the story where we came to a real emotional shift. 11: Which came first for you, writing or psychology?

LS: I will often suggest to clients that they journal because it is very cathartic and can be enlightening, but my old writing teacher advised us that. In order for most writing to be accessible, we need to have narrative distance. It needs to be digested enough; otherwise, the writing does sound like diary entries. I had years of my own therapy and talked about this with many people. I’ve gone over it and over it and over it, so I feel I had a fair amount of narrative distance. I didn’t set out for this writing process to be therapeutic or cathartic. At the same time, I was surprised when I came to the end, I did get a therapeutic benefit from writing it. Some things in me shifted. I’m not very attracted to writing where somebody’s just saying “look how horrible my life is” and just vomiting on the page, that’s not very appealing to me. I don’t think they have the narrative distance from it. If you dig in to material like this—your family history/ family story, it’s probably inevitable that some things are gonna shift though and at some level some things will be therapeutic. 11: The part where you and your sister are hiding the ashes in the Chinese restaurant, I just love that and that part seems to be, to me, the height of the emotional arc that you were describing… LS: My mother had triangulated so much with my sister and me our whole lives that it was really impossible for us to

LS: I’ve been a psychologist for over 40 years, so that came first. I’ve always had a worry that I’m not a very creative person. I don’t do anything like paint or draw or anything like that, so when I started writing, around 1990, it was a wonderful relief to feel like I did have a legitimate creative outlet, but that was really was the first time I had that in my life. 11: I guess that makes sense after reading about your mother’s various endeavors, and hearing you say you wanted to be nothing like her… LS: She had the corner on all that creative stuff. She was wildly creative, which is what was so tragic about her. She had a lot of talent, trying a zillion different things, but she had a corner on that market and I wasn’t going to go there… 11: Your book came out pretty recently, so you’re probably still doing that stuff, but where are you at with your writing these days? LS: I’m still on a little bit of a treadmill about it. I’ve got a couple of blog posts coming up and I just had another essay published in a blog yesterday… about narcissism. I have another reading Aug. 10 [at Belmont Books, 7 p.m.]. My mind is still very engaged in this book. I’ve got an idea percolating way way back in my brain; we’ll see when it moves up on forward. »

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VISUAL ARTS Emily Small by Richard Lime 28 | ELEVEN PDX

community visual arts

ELEVEN: When did you realize you wanted to be a professional illustrator? Emily Small: I’ve been drawing since I could hold a crayon in my hand, and my mom would even let me cover our apartment walls with my doodles growing up! I think that this sense of artistic freedom, having no bounds, that my mom instilled in me has shaped my artistic career as an adult. I don’t think that I had this “hallelujah moment” that lots of other artists have had, because I think being an artist has always been who I am. It’s a no-brainer for me! 11: You’re from New England - Why move to Portland? ES: I’m from the teeny tiny coast of New Hampshire, which is so rich in nature and inspiration, but while I was growing into my own skin I realized I couldn’t achieve the creative opportunities that I was seeking in my small town. I studied animation and experimental film at Emerson College in Boston to help expand my knowledge around using different creative mediums and familiarize myself with collaboration in a professional creative world. I bloomed! After graduating I knew I couldn’t go back to NH and felt I needed to move to a slower city, so I just picked a place on the map and moved! Well, really I was choosing between Austin (too sweaty), Brooklyn (too pricy), and Portland (too weird?), and ended up choosing the west coast because I had hopes of working for a pretty well known animation studio in town. Things didn’t work out the way I planned, but I wouldn’t have changed anything! 11: What do you like most about working and living in Portland? ES: Gosh, so many things! The support from the creative

community is pretty unprecedented. Coming from art school, where everything is a competition, it’s refreshing to work in a city where artists empower and uplift each other! You’ve heard of “community over competition” and that’s exactly what’s going on here. Photo by Hannah Johnson

11: Besides local plants and cats, from where do you draw inspiration for your designs? ES: My mischievous black cat, Cleo, is definitely the inspiration for any of my cat artwork! A lot of my inspiration comes from my film school roots, other talented artists I find in local galleries and on instagram, printing methods (like block, silk screen, and risograph), and my friend’s personal fashion sense. 11: What does art mean to you in eleven words or less? ES: Art is expressing emotion and relating to the world. 11: Explain your love of bolo ties.

ES: My most recent project was hand built ceramic bolo ties! This project actually began as a de-stressor. I think it’s important for artists to step outside of their comfy mediums (like ink and paper for me) and work with unfamiliar mediums to learn new skills and take a break from the norm. So I decided to play with some clay - working with my hands this way was so therapeutic! I made some cute little clay disks with the intention of glazing the tops. I was wearing my great grandfather, Alfred’s (Big Al), sea bass bolo at the time and decided it would be fun to recreate my own playful version! 11: Any big projects in the works? ES: There are a few things coming down the pipeline for

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the fall! First, for the past year I’ve been working with a rad brewery in New Hampshire, Tilton Brothers Brewing, to create a line of beer can designs and I’m stoked to collect them all! I also designed the mural for their taproom and am just waiting for the moment to take a selfie in front of it. Secondly, I will be rebranding my business to better reflect the new designs I’m working on, but that announcement will come later on! 11: What artist living or dead would you most want to do a collaborative project with? ES: Making puppets with Jim Henson has always been a dream! 11: If you were contracted to create an installation with a budget of $111,111, what would that look project like?

ES: I wouldn’t consider this as much of an installation, but I’d love to open a spacious collaborative place for artists to learn new skills, share their work, teach fellow artists, hold inspiring workspaces, and provide a strong sense of community. It’s important for my work to not just be physical things, but to also empower other artists by showing them that they can make money by making art! 11: What is one thing you want fans of your artwork to know? ES: Most of the illustration and design work I do is clientbased and custom! I thrive when working collaboratively and am always down to expand my work with new materials. 11: Where can we find some of your most recent work? ES: I post all my works for sale on www.beetleinkco.com ! But you can also find my products at a few stores around town like Tender Loving Empire and Crafty Wonderland. You can spot my most recent custom design work at some of my client’s locations: Tilton Brothers Brewing (NH) and Seagrape Bath + Body (Portland). »

See more online:

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beetleinkco.com and @beetleinkco

O E L SY Mi R ND

FesT

SEPTEMB ER 13,14 2019

RONTOMS , BUN

K, & VMAC

THE LIQUOR STORE BAR - RESTAURANT - MUSIC VENUE

loseyrmind .com

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