Tapescript episode 3 part 1

Episode 3 Part 1 1. ANNIE [sending email]: ‘Dear dream date.

2. My name is Annie! I’m 19 and I love animals, and, and – and I love chocolate: chocolate ice 3. cream, chocolate cake, boxes of chocolate, chocolate mousse …’

4. BRIDGET: What are you doing, Annie?

5. ANNIE: Nothing!

6. BRIDGET: What’s this?

7. ‘Dream date, make my dream come true … ‘ 8. ANNIE: Oh, how did that get there?

9. BRIDGET: How sweet!

10. Sound of fitness video playing in background 11. Hector! Hector.

12. HECTOR: Oh hi, Bridget.

13. BRIDGET: And up!!

14. Oh well, keep going, Hector.

15. ANNIE: Aah I see Hector found Cindy’s one hundred and one top exercises then.

16. BRIDGET: Yes! 17. ANNIE: Oh, good try Hector.

18. BRIDGET: Cindy is so old fashioned, I can teach Hector how to exercise!

19. Exercise with Cindy, no, exercise with Bridget, yes …

20. HECTOR: But … !

21. BRIDGET: It’s OK, I can do it! Music please, Annie. Follow me.

22. Arms up, touch your toes, stand straight and – one-two-three –four-five-six-seven-

eight!

23. More energy please! One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight 24. One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight. One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight …

25. OK, faster still! Left leg up! Left leg up!

26. HECTOR and ANNIE: Left leg up!

27. ANNIE: Oh, my leg hurts!

28. BRIDGET: Come on, keep it up! Come on, come on, faster …

29. ANNIE: Oh, hi Nick, we’re exercising.

30. NICK: I can see.

31. BRIDGET: Oh, phew, OK. Let’s get a drink!

32. ANNIE: Oh, I must check my emails.

33. BRIDGET: Would you like some water, Hector?

34. HECTOR: Oh no, no, after you.

35. BRIDGET: No, you first.

36. HECTOR: Oh, no, no, no, ladies first.

37. BRIDGET: No, no, you first.

38. HECTOR: No, you first.

39. HECTOR

and BRIDGET: No, …

40. NICK: OH, give it to me!

41. ANNIE: Oh, goody! Three messages. Oh dear.

42. NICK: What’s wrong?

43. BRIDGET: Annie’s been on the Internet – again!

44. HECTOR: The Internet?

45. BRIDGET: To find a boyfriend!

46. NICK: Oh, let’s see!

47. ANNIE: Oh no, don’t look.

48. NICK: Oh come on Annie!

49. ANNIE: Oh, all right then.

50. NICK: ‘Annie baby! Rocky the tennis star here!

51. I am the racquet – Will you be my ball?’ Ugh! 52. ANNIE: OK, number two.

53. NICK: Mmm. Erm – ‘Dear Annie!

54. I love animals too.’ Mmm. 55. ‘They are so beautiful in their glass boxes. Come and see them.

56. Tony Green (Taxidermist).’

57. ANNIE: A taxidermist! Oh, how horrible!

58. NICK: Oh Charlie, here boy! [Whistles] Dog barks 59. ANNIE: It’s OK, Charlie.

60. HECTOR: Annie, what is a taxidermist?

61. ANNIE: Erm, well it’s, it’s a, ah, oh never mind.

62. NICK: Third time lucky.

63. ANNIE: Hope so.

64. NICK: Hmm. ‘Annie, can you cook like my mother?

65. Do you like trains?

66. Can you meet me today?

67. Giles Smith aged twenty four.

68. P.S. Mummy says I must be home before 5 p.m.’

69. Oh dear!

70. ANNIE: Oh, I’ll never get a boyfriend!

71. Bridget always has a boyfriend.

72. NICK: Has she?

73.

74. HECTOR: Ah-yum-ah-ah …

75. NICK: Annie, look, it’s not what you write, it’s, it’s how you write it.

76. [Uh?]. I bet I could get a 77. girlfriend on the Internet, no problem.

78. ANNIE: Well yes Nick you could!

79. BRIDGET: I bet you could not!

80. NICK: I could!

81. BRIDGET: OK, what would you write?

82. NICK: I’m six foot tall.

83. BRIDGET: Five foot eleven.

84. NICK: I have blonde hair.

85. BRIDGET: Mousey brown.

86. NICK: I love animals.

87. BRIDGET: Ha! 88. NICK: And fast cars, and beautiful women.

89. ANNIE: I would write to you!

90. NICK: Would you?

91. ANNIE: Oh, come on Annie! Let’s go to the gym.

92. Oh Bridget no, not more exercise!

93. BRIDGET: See you later boys.

94. Oh and erm, Hector, would you do my washing for me?

95. HECTOR: Washing? OK. No problem.

96. ANNIE: Oh and Nick [uh] will you spray my plant for me please?

97. The spray is in the bathroom.

98. NICK: No problem.

99. HECTOR: Nick [ah-ah]. What is a taxidermist?

100.

NICK: Oh –well, well it’s, never mind.

101.

102.

103.

104.

BRIDGET: ‘Chrissy! [sending email] Today Hector found Cindy’s exercise video, but I decided to help him with his exercises instead!’ Two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight! More energy please!

‘He really enjoyed it!’

105.

ANNIE: My leg hurts!

106.

BRIDGET: Come on, keep up!

107.

108.

109.

ANNIE: ‘Nadia. [sending email] I looked for a boyfriend on the Internet today and had three strange replies.

One from a tennis player, too arrogant.’

110.

NICK: Ugh!

111.

ANNIE [sending email]: ‘One from a taxidermist, too horrible!’

112.

NICK: Oh Charlie! Here boy! [Whistles/dog barks]

113.

ANNIE [sending email]: ‘And one from a train spotter, too weird!’

114.

NICK: Oh dear!

115.

ANNIE: Oh, I’ll never get a boyfriend. But Bridget always has a boyfriend.

116.

117.

NICK [sending email]: Dan! It’s so easy to find a girlfriend on the Internet.’

I bet I could get a girlfriend on the Internet, no problem.