NOTE Hi again, this is Kenta-Thomas and Eli, the founding editors of Invitation/ Annual. Thanks for picking up issue two, our transition issue. With every issue, we like to choose topics that are close to our hearts and relevant to our lives. Eli, Evan, and I are currently going through a big transition, and this magazine can’t be more timely. In life we experience many transitions, some small and some large, and through these experiences we learn and grow as creatives. We hope you find yourself in this issue. Sincerely, K & E
The Team Editorial Staff : Kenta T. Naoi - Founding Editor Elijah McKinnon - Co-Founder, Managing Editor Evan Keith - Director Business Development Issue Two: On Transition Copy Editors : Denayja Reese Jake Guidry Features : Tina Roth Eisenberg The Great Discontent Lauren YS CODAME DJ Worthy Jake Kuczeruk Fenix Walker Big Umbrella Studios Contributors : Janani Balasubramanian Jordan Hernandez Denayja Reese Jake Guidry Jacqueline Chen Marko Chavez Montinique Island Lindsay Van Cantfort Patrick Ortiz Contributing Designer Partners : Adair Graphic Communications Voyager Shop Dish Boutique Studiomates Tattly Printing : Adair Graphic Communications Advertising | Distribution howdy@invitationannual.com
Invitation/Annual is published quarterly by MUDENTE LLC. All rights reserved. All material in this magazine may not be reproduced, transmitted or distributed in any form without the written permission of Invitation/Annual. The articles published reflect the opinions of the respective authors and do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers and editorial team.
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CONTENTS A Sunday with: Fenix Walker Facilitated Conversation Feature Perspectives CODAME Lauren YS The Great Discontent Tina Roth Eisenberg Stories Jake Guidry Jordan Hernandez Work Patrick Ortiz Jaqueline Chen Poetry Janani Balasubramanian Denayja Reese Editorial Invitation/Annual X Voyager X Dish Boutique Essentials, Through the Senses w. Worthy & Jake How To: Pare Down After A Long Day
the Field Trade is all about meeting brands, designers, and pioneers that have stories to be told.
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SO, what’s your story?
www.thefieldtrade.com ig: @thefieldtrade
work
Patrick Ortiz, is a Portland based photographer, by way of Reno. Since moving to Portland, he’s encountered many moments of transition. For this photo series he asked residents of Portland, “Why did you move to Portland.” These are their stories. Enjoy.
ig: @its_pato www.itspato.com
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patrick ortiz
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featured perspective
C O D A M E art + tech
"How did CODAME get started?� we asked Jordan as he sat across from us, legs crossed and one arm leaned on the couch. He half-jokingly replied that it’s all a blur, but that in 2010 or late 2009, he and Bruno attended an FITC conference where their friends were participating as speakers. During that time, the Adobe Flash development scene was prevalent, and most of the creative coders circled this network. This network also happened to be made up of producers, DJs and other creative types, which led Bruno and Jordan to organize a proper place for these individuals to showcase their side talents. This led to the pair throwing their inaugural CODAME party, which would later become the ART+TECH Festival events that CODAME has become known for. Jordan joked that it was the real deal; a rooftop with art all over the walls, music blasting, and cops knocking on the door. This idea to highlight the projects of digital artists would later evolve to become the governing value of CODAME: to showcase and support artists within the digital art community who create inspiring experiential work.
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www.codame.com tw: @codame
visit invitationannual.com for exclusive access to select music from Jordan and Donald
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CODAME, founded by Bruno Fonzi and Jordan Gray in 2010, has grown to become a well-recognized online platform and festival that shares the works of digital artists who explore the limits of imagination through audio and visual mediums. In recent years, they’ve grown from a team of two to an organization, with core team members like Donald Hanson, the mastermind behind GridWalk Labs, an electronic music netlabel and media lab. Donald helps organize, facilitate, and even participates in these events. As we sat down with Jordan and Donald, the two began to share their thoughts on the idea of transitions that are commonplace in the digital art medium. “It’s becoming less and less about the technology and more about the actual tools. The digital arts umbrella is really large,” Jordan says. To Jordan, digital art isn’t an isolated topic, and his interests focus more on the overlap of digital and analog art. He mentions that, especially with CODAME, they’ve recognized that digital art often isn’t two dimensional or stuck behind a screen. In recent years, they’ve featured the merging of art and tech in fashion, robotics and 3D printing, all of which start from a digital intention, but end in a tangible experience. Donald says that “digital doesn’t have to always mean digitized, it could just mean that a digital tool was used to create the particular piece, and that a boundary was pushed - that’s the beauty of it.” Jordan echoes the sentiment: “A tool is what technology becomes when you know what it already does; at one point a hammer was just an experiment.” When we further delved into the transitions of digital mediums, and how the art scene continues to change due to technological advancements, the two discussed with us how the art scene by nature is always changing, how it’s always in transition, and how technology has created new opportunities. Technologies become tools, and these tools often become explored, whether to create new experiences, or to create other tools. Jordan tells us that, as digital literacy becomes more commonplace, it’s less and less about the technology and more about the way we manage to use the resources we have. “It’s about how you carve out that niche for yourself, always creating something different,” Donald adds.
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People often discuss how the tools and techniques during the Renaissance revolutionized the way art was received during that time; even now we do this, but at a much more rapid pace. The transition of art from thousands of years ago to the present seems drastic, but perhaps not as much as we think. Perhaps the biggest transition within art isn’t our ability to create art with code or use hardware to garner new kinds of experiences, but it’s how the general public is able to receive it. “Everyone is becoming an editor and a curator without knowing it,” Jordan explains. To him, it’s more about the consumption of art that is transitioning than the way it’s being created. The way art is being created is constantly being pushed, but artists have always done this. Our tools may have changed, but to Jordan, “the biggest transition is the way everyone accesses and appreciates art. It’s less about owning a physical object and more about having access to experience [it].”
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BAKED BRIE PILLOWS W. FIGHONEY GLAZE & TOASTED ALMONDS recipe by jacqueline chen wwww.jacquelinechen.com
Ingredients
1 sheet puff pastry dough, completely thawed 5oz high-quality French brie 1 large egg 1/4 cup sliced almonds 3 tbsp fig preserves 1 tbsp clover honey 1 1/2 tbsp orange juice, freshly squeezed 4 tbsp water Kosher salt
visit invitationannual.com for an exclusive Seasonal Dish and Beverage Recipe
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Recipe
1. Preheat your oven to 375°F/190°C. 2. Lay the puff pastry sheet flat on a floured surface. Cut into as many rectangles (approximately 5-in by 3.5-in) as you can. 3. Slice the brie into thin pieces (about a quarter of an inch thick and half an inch wide - but don’t have to be precise with this!). Stack about 3 pieces of brie at one end of each dough-rectangle. *Note: Don’t feel pressured to use all the brie if you have any leftover! 4. Roll each of the doughrectangles, starting at the end with the brie first, tucking the brie in as you roll. Pinch in the sides to seal the roll completely. They should resemble mini sleeping bags, or tiny body pillows! However you want to look at it. *Note: Don’t roll these too tightly, as it will expand while it bakes. 5. Place the rolls onto a baking tray, either lined with parchment paper or a non-stick silicone baking mat. Make sure there’s at least 2-in in between each, or you might end up with one giant brie-puff-pastry cake (they’re better bite-sized, trust me). 6. In a small bowl, whisk the egg until it reaches an even
consistency. With a pastry brush, brush a light coat of the egg wash on the tops and sides of each roll. 7. When the oven is ready, pop these bad boys in (on the middle rack of your oven). Bake for 2025 minutes, or until puffy and golden brown all over. 8. While the brie is baking, throw your sliced almonds onto a tray in an even layer with a pinch of salt and toss gently. Also pop these in the oven, but only for about 3-5 minutes, until toasted. Then you’ll want to pull them out and set aside for later. Don’t forget about these - they burn quickly! 9. Meanwhile, make the fig and honey glaze. Add the water, fig preserves, honey, orange juice, and a light pinch of salt to a saucepan. Heat over medium-low heat for about 7-10 minutes, whisking gently and constantly. Do this until you start seeing a golden, caramel-colored layer of small bubbles form at the bottom of your saucepan, and then remove from heat. The glaze will thicken as it cools. 10. *Optional: Strain the glaze through a sieve into a small bowl, if you don’t want the chunks of fig and seeds in there. 11. When the brie puffs are ready, pull them out from the oven and plate. Drizzle with the fig and honey glaze and sprinkle toasted almonds on top. Enjoy while it’s still warm!
story
“IN LIMBO” words: jake guidry - tw: @jakeguidry
In 1909, Arnold Van Gennep introduced the term “liminality” to the field of anthropology in his work, The Rites of Passage. In it he described liminality as a period that occurs during a rite of passage, such as marriage or childbirth. Liminality, Van Gennep said, occurred between separation from and reassimilation into society. In other words, it’s the “in limbo” stage of a transition. The concept has since been expounded upon and applied to other worlds outside of anthropology, including politics and religion. I was first made aware of the concept of liminality in a low-level English class in college. I wrote a paper on it and let the concept fade away from memory. But it didn’t completely dissolve. In fact, I’ve been thinking more than ever about how liminality applies to my own life, nearly 10 years after I first heard the word. I am perhaps in the most common transition of all: I left my job. And yes, I do mean job, the one so derisively referred to in the clichéd job vs. career dichotomy. It’s not important what the job was, other than it left me emotionally drained and defeated. So I said fuck it and I left, without much to fall back on besides a couple freelance writing opportunities and a few DJ gigs. It was foolish, shortsighted and selfish. Obviously, the transition has been difficult; the hundredth cover letter is no less dreadful than the first, and watching my bank account dwindle in the process makes the urgency of finding something suffocating. It’s a shitty situation to be in, but one I’ve constructed for myself. Of course, life will get better. But when it does, I’ve considered how I might look back and view everything through a problematic lens – the lens of success. It’s how transitions are viewed in hindsight. It’s a Point-A-to-Point-B chronology: I moved there and I found a job. I met a girl and I got married. I pursued a dream and I fulfilled it. We might acknowledge our past struggles with platitudes and inspirational memes on Facebook, but do we seriously intellectually
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engage with the process of transformation? Can we even do that, after the transformation has occurred? I suspect not, which underscores the inherent struggle of liminality.With this in mind, I’ve embraced my liminality. I’ve focused on it, hoping to draw some sort of lesson tucked beneath the surface. More importantly, I’ve wanted to learn something about myself. It’s been as emotionally draining and defeating as the job that put me here in the first place, a constant battle with my insecurities and inadequacies. It’s lonely, perhaps most when others surround me, stacking myself up and considering what it might mean that my life is not where I want it. This liminality has been parts mediation and self-medication, saddling up on barstools with a clouded mind and nowhere else to be. But while this process has taken its emotional toll, from it has arisen some of my most inspired creative work. I’m writing more than ever, and starting and fostering projects with my peers. I’m reading again and listening to music with fresh ears. Acknowledging and focusing on this moment has conjured new perspectives and re-invigorated a hunger for life. It’s an emerging light through the obscurity of liminality. And so I appreciate the struggle. I let it absorb and transform me. I ponder it, knowing that once it’s gone, it will merely become a footnote in my life’s narrative,some anecdotal conversation piece to pass time at a party. My future self will bearthe fruits of this process, but my current self is sowing the seeds. So I tend to them.
lauren ys
www.laurenys.com ig: @loyo_
featured perspective
illustrator/ artist/writer
Lauren Young Smith is ‘cool’. originally from a small town in Colorado, she made the migration from the seasonal climate to the warm neighborhoods of California in 2009 to attend Stanford university to study art and literature. She now writes for Juxtapoz and paints when she isn’t running around between art galleries, volunteering her time at MOMA, and showing in spaces like the Upper Playground.
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On a bright Tuesday morning, I walked up the stairs to what looked like a hostel. The weather was beautiful, and the sun shown through the gates of the door. I noticed that there was no door bell, just an old fashioned ‘knocker’. Upon knocking on the wooden door a few times, a groggy house guest appears from one of the front rooms, she unlocks the door, and looks at me with confusion. I was saved from an explanation to why I woke her up at such an hour when Lauren appeared from the staircase. The house, that resembled more of a hotel than anything someone calls ‘home’, extended deep into the back, with so many rooms that I lost count, a shared kitchen, a downstairs basement that serves as an art studio, a chapel, and a rooftop with a beautiful view of the city. The house by Alamo Square in the Western Addition neighborhood of San Francisco was once used as a convent, and now serves as a communal art home for over twenty artists, including Lauren. Lauren showed me around the space, took me through hallways, up and down narrow staircases, and finally back to her room. Her room was scattered with art supplies, clothing that looked more like costumes, and Hayao Miyazaki posters, a very intimate resemblance to her personality, quirky. She mentioned that she loves taking ownership of her space, and that she doesn’t have a hard time spreading her roots, this was apparent. As she sat on the bed, clutching a stuffed animal, we continued our conversation on the idea of transitions, and what it meant to her. The past few months has been a series of big transitions, having graduated from university, moved up to San Francisco, and now working as a professional artist, she had a few things to say about transitions. When asked what transitions meant to her, she told me that transitions were about having an idea of where you want to go, where you’ve come from, and working towards closing the gaps. To her transitions was about understanding intentional motivations, meaning, be cognizant of everything that has led up to the version of you in the present, and move towards an idea of who you want to become, while staying true to the values that have guided you thus far. To Lauren, this transition can often seem like the hardest thing. As we both sat in her room, we shared a moment relating with one another on how difficult transitions can be, how they happen without our consensus, and how important it is to allow them to occur in the way it’s intended to be experienced, and not always in the way we want them to be.
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Transitions mean change, and change can be uncomfortable, but as Lauren and I both agreed on that Tuesday morning, life is about fucking up, it’s about making those mistakes and reflecting on our choices to transition into a better version of ourselves. This principle is one she hopes to practice as she grows in both her personal and professional life. When we began discussing transitions in her work, she mentioned that she wants to move away from being labeled as an illustrator, and being mindful of not allowing her Juxtapoz background to influence her style too much. She wants to create art that she has to travel for, installation work, art that has to be experienced on a personal level, in real life, away from the easily consumable cyber art. She believes that art is inherently about transitions, it’s about evolution and manifesting a persons journey through creative outcomes. Lauren self professes that she makes art that is reflective of potential, and she wants her audience to look at her work and see how it continually changing.
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models: terra juana saturn jones kamil lambert elijah mckinnon carlo prado nicole bonifacio stylist: lindsay van cantfort photographer: marko chavez art director: elijah mckinnon production director: kenta thomas naoi hair and make up: montinique island clothing provided by the voyager shop jewelry and accessories provided by dish boutique
t h e color, movement, gender
t r a n 1tran·si·tion noun \tran(t)-ˈsi-shən, tran-ˈzia : passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another b : a movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another - Merriam Webster
visit invitationannual.com to view the #bts editorial photographed by karent tomczak
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featured perspective
tina and ryan essmaker of the great discontent www.thegreatdiscontent.com tw: @greatdiscontent
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“interviews about beginnings, creativity and risk online (and now in print)�
Tina and Ryan Essmaker, co-founders of the online magazine The Great Discontent, are on fire. Since the launch of its first digital issue in August 2011, TGD has grown beyond Tina and Ryan's wildest dreams. Priding themselves on remaining true to their initial goals - sharing interviews on beginnings, creativity and risk - the pair have established a global following that extends to over 170 countries and a wide variety of creative disciplines. On one of the first days of spring, the masterminds behind TGD gathered with us to discuss their transition from Michigan to New York, the transformation of their day-to-day lives, and the future of The Great Discontent.
Nestled in a busy coffee shop in the Lower East Side of New York City, Tina and Ryan Essmaker sip on lattes while coily looking at each other. Both emit the perfect amount of approachability; a casual, yet refined demeanor. And why shouldn’t they? In addition to quitting their day jobs a few weeks prior, the two recently raised over $100,000 for their two-year-old passion project, The Great Discontent. Tina and Ryan, both from Michigan, relocated to New York City just about two years ago. This move that seems like a distant memory for the two had been a long time coming. They had always planned on living in a place where there was plenty of room to spread their wings, so to speak. Growing up in Southeast Michigan, they had always dreamt of relocating to a larger metropolitan area. Ryan explains that there were many cities of interest: “We were looking at LA, Seattle, Portland and Austin. New York was on the list, but it was pretty far down.” But after falling in love with the city during a visit in February 2012, Ryan accepted a position at Crush Creative Agency, and both he and Tina packed up their lives (including their kitty) and moved to the Big Apple. Originating as a creative project that Tina and Ryan could work on and share, TGD developed an audience once the two rooted themselves in New York. By February 2014, TGD had gained enough traction that Tina and Ryan left their day jobs at Crush & Lovely, an independent creative studio, “to focus on The Great Discontent full-time.” It was a huge risk that prompted them to launch a Kickstarter campaign for the first printed issue of TGD, a journey they say has “been a whirlwind ever since.” Before TGD was ever published, Tina and Ryan talked about creating a print magazine, but decided to move forward with a digital publication because of the low overhead and the opportunity to build a larger community - both really important and attractive qualities in the Digital Age. And although they don’t consider themselves to be authorities on print publishing, they are constantly considering how many individuals work online and spend some part of our lives in front of a screen. “I think that, despite all of our amazing devices, people still value print and having something they can hold in their hand,” says Tina. “As far as the catalyst, I’m not sure.”
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Transitioning from digital to print was a difficult process with a huge learning curve, but Tina and Ryan were able to raise over $105,000 and a vast community of supporters through their Kickstarter campaign. “We’ve always loved print just as much as digital, especially Ryan, who has a huge magazine collection,” Tina says. Enthralled by the immediacy of digital publishing, TGD will continue to publish online issues alongside the print magazine, which is slated to be released twice a year. Once we escape the noisy hustle and bustle of the cafe, we somehow find ourselves strolling through the East Village, snapping a few photos and discussing Tina and Ryan’s transition from their day jobs to pursuing TGD full-time. Both describe a brief “moment of insanity,” but as Tina elaborates, it was a very organic transition for the both of them. “We started talking about what it [the print magazine] would look like and that got us really excited, so we thought that it would be cool to launch a Kickstarter the same day we announced that we were leaving our jobs,” Tina says. Ryan removes his sunglasses and says, admirably, “We jumped into it very quickly.”
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Facilitated Conversation with, Big Umbrella Studios www.bigumbrellastudios.com
When we decided that the theme of this issue was going to be on transitions, I couldn’t think of a better space and group of people to facilitate a conversation with than Rick Kitagawa, Mike Mulvey, and Harrison Love of Big Umbrella Studios, a shared studio for designers and artists. Big Umbrella Studios, or BUS, has been through a lot of transitions in its time, and the guys who now call it their own know a thing or two about transitions as well. The three have been working in the creative industry and have been involved in the art world for some time now. All three have taught at various schools, design and art, and have moved around quite a bit in their life time. When the three begin discussing their ideas of transitions they quickly go from an introspective sharing of their time traveling and changing jobs to transitions that they see within the job market, especially being a designer and artist. The following are quick experts from the conversation, but the full conversation is available online.
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RICK: For me transition means, especially now, living in San Francisco when we are working in this current job market, especially in the arts, I think that transition is something that is super important. Both of you [Harrison and Mike] have jumped around a lot and you’re going back to your roots. It’s important to try and be flexible. I have a really easy time moving from place to place and I find myself settling down fairly easily. Being able to be flexible is very important, because the world is changing so fast with the advancements in technology and the way that the job market is changing. We’re not a country that you can commit to a single job, there’s no loyalty to employees and employers. It’s uncommon for a person to get one job and work their for 20 years. Most likely, you’re probably going to work at over 10 to 15 places over the course of your life.
MIKE: When I hear transitions, I think of changes. I also think about how a lot of people aren’t okay with them...for instance, in 2005 I moved from New York to Miami. I stayed there for a year and moved back to New York till 2012. And I am coming up on my second year in California. You realize that some people aren’t into transitions, some people aren’t into change. For me, the other transition is a movement. Big Umbrella Studios has been a huge movement for myself. Working in web design for fourteen years after studying Fine Art and Print Design and then kind of returning back to that. It’s a lot of transition through personal change. It takes a certain mindset, you’re either comfortable with transitions or you aren’t.
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HARRISON: Speaking on the topic of Big Umbrella Studios, this has been a very professional change for me which is kind of interesting. I’ve only been handling the gallery for about two to three months. Before then I was just working out of the studio trying to produce work. But I’ve realized that it’s really helped me access this market in ways that I didn’t believe I could or predict, like tonight I’m doing a party that’s at this guys who rented out Studio 550, and I’m doing live painting for a Facebook, Google, Twitter party. It’s been an interesting transition.
For the entire conversation - head to our website and catch the three discussing transitions in industry and personal life. www.invitationannual.com
When I hear transitions, I think of changes. I also think about how a lot of people aren’t okay with them ... . - Mike M.
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Tina Roth Eisenberg www.swiss-miss.com tw & ig: @swissmiss
You may know Tina Roth Eisenberg as Swissmiss, or perhaps as the founder of CreativeMornings, Tattly, TeuxDeux, or Studiomates. Or you may just know Tina as Tina, the unofficial ambassador of Brooklyn. However you may know her, whether professionally or as your neighbor, you’ll agree that she is one of the most supportive and open-hearted individuals on this side of the design community. Having started many companies out of sheer passion and a will to explore her creative curiosities, she is a true side-projectpreneur, and someone who knows all too well what transitions mean. We visited Tina at her co-working studio, Studiomates, in Dumbo, Brooklyn.
SWI S S MISS
FOUNDER OF TATTLY, CREATIVE MORNING SESSIONS, TEUX DEUX (APP), STUDIO MATES, AND SWISS MISS
featured perspective
As we got off of the F train, we walked towards the water. The air was cold to its touch, but the sun that shined above us was a sure reminder that spring was on its way. We’re in Dumbo, an emerging neighborhood filled with people from the creative community; designers, entrepreneurs and film crews alike walk along the pebblestone pathways. As we arrived at the building, we took the elevator up and navigated our way through the hallways towards Studiomates, passing Tattly’s office. Kary, a resident of Studiomates, led the way. We then finally sat down with Tina, and to our surprise were greeted with an overwhelming level of kindness and support. Tina has a way of making you feel comfortable, the type of personality that makes you feel like you’ve known her for a long time. Tina, who is originally from Switzerland, grew up in a small canton (a member state of Switzerland) where the practice of holistic health was widely accepted during her childhood. She jokes that even her father participated. Her early influences may have had a role in her wanting to trust in the universe, and to believe in moments. When we asked her about the idea of transitions, Tina says, “Life is one big, giant transition. I feel like life is all about learning and getting to the point when you realize that you are transitioning into something else because you’re maturing and you’re changing.” She takes a moment to gather her thoughts and explains how she feels transitions are neverending and, more importantly, how they serve as continuous efforts to strive for a better version of ourselves. While discussing how transitions can be difficult and uncomfortable at times - many times, in fact Tina explains how important it is to embrace change and the conflict of growth. “I’m a huge believer in change being good,” Tina says. She explains that she is a very trusting person who listens closely to her gut, and that it’s through this self awareness that she has been able to start so many companies, “with the right people at the right time.” When we began discussing how Tina managed her past transitions between companies, roles and projects, she told us one word: “Trust.” To Tina, trust is a very important factor in her day-to-day. She trusts in her employees, in their ability to do amazing things; and she trusts in herself and the universe, to be self reflective and to always make it a point to know that she can do better. “You have to trust that something 64
good will always come out of passion and hard work,” Tina explains. One thing that stands out to us the most is her belief that, when something is meant to work, it works. She’s adamant about things happening naturally and being mindful of these organic moments. She jokes that many people ask her how she does it, and her short answer is, “You just do it.” Like us, Tina is about understanding that you don’t know everything, and realizing that you have the ability to learn. She paraphrases a Bill Cosby quote that has inspired her for many years: “You need to want it more than you are afraid of it.” In her life, Tina has gone through many transitions, including moving to New York City, falling in love, watching the Twin Towers crumble, and losing her job and visa and being faced with the question of moving back to Europe. She dealt with all of these transitions by accepting them, and in trusting that things will always work out if you constantly work towards bettering yourself. She adds that, many times in life, you’ll know when the time to recognize a transition is and when to make a decision to proceed in this changing of paths. For her, having her children was one of these. Having watched her belly grow, she wanted to make sure that she’d be able to tell her kids that their mom was doing everything she always wanted. It was in this moment that Tina trusted herself to start her own studio, a decision that has led to the Swissmiss, TeuxDeux, Studiomates, CreativeMornings and Tattly empire that she has built to this point. So, whether you know Tina through a local coffee shop or through her various projects, you can be sure to know her as someone who embraces transitions. Because in the words of Billy Cosby: “In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”
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Sundays with, Fenix Walker Fenix Walker today is a man, a father and a special papa. However, that was not always the case. It was during a visit to Portland, Oregon that Fenix, also known as Andy outside of his magical spirit community and the inter-webs of social media, opened up his lovely home to explore the theme transition. One of the few commonalities of human life is that we are all born. Born as a woman, Andy was assigned his gender but began exploring his identity at a really young age. Thoughts and questions that didn’t quite have definitive answers flooded his brain. Even as a child, he concluded that the world was not as polarizing as it seems. Things are rarely just black or white, forward or backward, happy or sad. Andy saw that there was a transformation that happened between each end of the spectrum.
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Catching up with Fenix on a bright Sunday afternoon in his massive backyard that host a hole in the fence that connects to his neighbors backyard, a development that was added for his son and the children that live next door. Fenix’s life looks a lot different than it did some odd 10 years ago; from marriage to giving birth to his son all the way to transitioning from female-to-male all served as magical moments in his lives. As he elaborates on his concept of transition Fenix cross offers his personal thoughts and ideas of how his child, who is being raised in a non-traditional family, will view the world.
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“I see transition as a life philosophy - there is a continuity that happens in life,.� says Fenix. how shattering the social constructs that held him back from being the person he wanted to be allowed him to think more fluidly; it gave him the ability to reframe the question for himself and his family. Bringing up his son in this non-traditional lifestyle encourages Fenix to continue to open doors so that people in the world will begin to realize that we all have a choice in who we want to be, who we want to love and what type of work we want to produce.
As he gazes towards a bird he softly mentions, “the only thing that we can count on is change, that’s the most important philosophy to adopt. We are all constantly in a state of transition, for me, transition is a way to live and look at the world. Even a way to find some peace and forgiveness with one’s self. It’s a lens.”
“At the end of the day, we’re not stuck at all,” says Fenix.
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MY SWEETEST TROUVAILLE words : jordan hernandez - tw: @jordanmhernan
I have spent many years of my life in transition. Evolving from places of solitude to chaos. I have drawn maps and written floor plans for what I thought would guide me toward a substantial series of good moments to preserve. What I have discovered, however is that through the clutter, there is always a certain sense of direction. But what is a transition? A fluid movement, perhaps that positions you from one point to another. Transitions in films are often subtle, cued by a dimming screen or a break in scenes. In music, it can go from a decrescendo do a series of staccato notes. But what about the transitions in our own lives? We don’t have the luxury of skimming through subtitles or removing measures that don’t fit the sound that pleases our ears. People often talk about the big transitions they undergo. Graduation, marriage, moving, becoming a parent, etc. While all of these events are crucial to the kinds of humans we become, what about the ones they don’t make a Hallmark card for? The neglected space in which many of us flourish, without room on our calendars to plan for it in advance. To me, the best kind of shifting is the kind that fits without us having to maneuver the corner pieces too much. We decide to do things based on logic and feelings. The signals between our brain and mouths work in perfect symmetry until our feet begin forward motion. The motion that transports us into the known and sometimes unknown abyss. One of the strangest transitions I have experienced is going from early years to being in your twenties. Things begin to unravel a bit in your twenties. Not always in a bad way, but in a fashion you couldn’t prepare for, no matter what people may have told you. Things are undefined, and the version of yourself that you’ve always known suddenly becomes a hazy silhouette you can barely make out in the distance. When an individual decides to uproot their life geographically speaking, the corner of the world they once knew becomes but a speck on a map that’s been folded in a glove compartment. Your learn what your life appears amongst cardboard and you find yourself discarding pieces of things you’ve held onto for many years. After that, a road trip turns into moving without coming back. I can say with confidence that where I am currently living is never where I expected to end up. I never thought I would live thousands of miles away from my family in a tiny apartment I barely see in the daylight. But it is also with gusto that I ended up here. All the plans, rules and expectations I was taught at a young age
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no longer made any sense once I knew all of the possibilities that were out there, within reach of my hands. Possibilities of meeting a mate. Of finding a job that pays more than just by the hour. Of going broke and recovering from it. And the possibility of meeting people who actually don’t know a single thing about your parents or the high school you went to. I have never been married, nor have I had children yet. While I am unfamiliar with the conventions of these events, I do know that they are brilliant and substantially different for every soul out there. My transition became more than just child to adult. I went head first, no kicking or shouting. And I did it in one swift movement, before I left time to waver. It wasn’t the number twenty, or now even twenty-three that signified a transition. It was the moment I knew I didn’t want to return and allow myself to linger that I knew I was already gone. Returning meant being thrown into the same spin cycle, swirling around with all the dirty contents of things I have already washed clean. Going forward meant being able to nourish the longing for newness that had been growing in between and around my ribcage and sprouting into my heart. It is the unconventional, unexplainable metamorphoses’ that leave me short of breath. The rule breakers, the ones paddling upstream against the current and the madness that dwells in each of us that I resonate with. There may never be anyone to congratulate you on transitioning from a nomad to a local. Or from a listener to a doer. But that’s when you must be willing to go from inside the lines of your own journey to off the page. Dog-ear your best pages as a reference for later, while never forgetting their content. The transitions that are easy may not always be right, even if society dictates otherwise. Every transition asks for different sacrifices. I have found the more difficult ones to feel the most organic in the end. Once I read a poem by Mary Oliver in which she wrote, “When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder if I have made my life something particular, and real. I don’t want to find myself sighing, and frightened, or full of argument. I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.” Perhaps the biggest transition I could have never predicted was the one in which I became a traveler, not a tourist in my own life. There were no balloons for this occasion. No fancy ties or dresses. I was not greeted by smiling faces or firm handshakes. I was walking down the street on an ordinary Wednesday, trying not to forget to buy stamps. There was no one at my doorstep with a coin to flip for heads or tails. I was sinking and swimming at the same time. And I just don’t think they make a greeting card for that.
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FRESH SALMON POKE ON WONTON CRISPS by jacqueline chen www.jacuelinechen.com
Ingredients
0.5lb sashimi-grade salmon 12 wonton wrappers 1 tbsp low-sodium soy sauce Juice of 1/2 lime 1 tsp sesame oil 2 tsp seto fumi furikake (rice seasoning) 1 1/2 tsp red pepper flakes 1/2 shallot, finely diced 2 tbsp cilantro, finely chopped 1 tbsp green onion, finely chopped (white and light green portions only) 1/2 ripe avocado Sea salt Vegetable oil
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Recipe
1. First, we’ll make the marinade. In a small bowl, gently whisk together the soy sauce, lime juice, sesame oil, seto fumi furikake, red pepper flakes, shallot, cilantro, green onion, and a tiny pinch of sea salt. Set aside. 2. Take out the salmon and gently pat dry with a paper towel. Cut into 1/3-in cubes. Also cut the avocado into 1/3-in cubes. 3. In a separate bowl, gently fold in the marinade with the salmon and avocado cubes. Cover with saran wrap and store in the fridge to let the all the wonderful flavors marry while you make the wonton crisps. 4. In a flat and heavy-bottomed saucepan, pour in the vegetable oil - enough to cover the entire base of the pan, about 1/2-in deep. Heat the oil over mediumhigh heat until the oil is hot, but before it gets smoky. *Hint: To test if the oil is hot enough, you can 1) insert a wooden spoon and see if bubbles form around it, 2) throw in a tester wonton wrapper and see if it immediately “sizzles”.
5. When the oil is hot enough, lay one or two wonton wrappers in flat (or however many your pan can comfortably fit without them touching). Fry each side for only 5-7 seconds, until *just* evenly golden brown. Pull from the oil and place on a cooling rack lined with a paper towel to absorb excess oil. *Tip: I find that small tongs or chopsticks are the best for working with the wrappers. 6. Let the wonton wrappers cool and dry (about 5 minutes). 7. Take the poke out of the fridge and spoon generously on top of each wonton crisp. Top each with a pinch more of the
essentials through the senses Transition has always been something that I’ve considered but never really invested a lot of time in until my life underwent a huge one. Graduating from university a few months ago provided me with a new sense of freedom and inspiration. Faced with numerous pathways, confronted by fears of failure and greeted by the success of my past I looked my transition dead in the eyes. There we were, toe to toe, preparing to dance as if our lives depended on this moment when I realized that there was no point -a -to -point -b in a transition. Transitions are processes that guide you towards discovering different circumstances. I recently invited Jake Kuczeruk and Sean Williams a.k.a. Worthy to John Allen’s Razor Club for a day of male grooming as well as a little male bonding time. Both in the process of two major life transitions, Jake and Worthy had a lot to share.
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Sean “Worthy” Williams DJ & Music Producer How do you personally define transition? There are big transitions and smaller gradual transitions. Lately I’ve had a ton of big transitions in my life. They are all good challenges though. What has been the most positive transition that you’ve experience since becoming a father? Taking a moment to stop and just enjoy my daughter. The love that I feel for my daughter and family is so much stronger than I imagined it could ever be. I was scared of this transition but it’s made me a better, more thoughtful person in many ways. How has becoming a father influenced your DJ career? Well, it’s made me hustle way more for one thing. It’s made me more focused on the future and pursuing bigger career goals.
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Jake Kuczeruk Co-Founder/ CMO of Tie Society How do you personally deal with a transition in your life? I deal with transition the same way we all do- by pulling guidance from the collection of knowledge, experiences, and beliefs that I’ve amassed over the course of my own personal development . Beyond that, I have a Magic 8-ball that I shake. It takes care of the tough decisions for me. Expanding a business requires a lot of transitioning, how do you process tough decisions? I think at the core of any strong business is a leadership that communicates frequently and isn’t afraid to share how they really feel about an issue. How has becoming an entrepreneur affected your personal life? The real value in being an entrepreneur comes in the form of experiences. Without it, there are so many amazing people that I never would have encountered, beautiful places that I never would have seen, and ideas of mine that would have never taken shape. Entrepreneurship provides you with inspiration to do more. It’s helped me to grow into someone who values the adventure in life.
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The Only Time Traveler words: Janani Balasubramanian
When I am two and a half, my father decides to set all the clocks in our sandy apartment at various levels of early and late: 17 minutes fast, 2 and a half slow, 3 days ahead. He tells me this will sharpen my math and sharpen my toes because I will always be on them. When I am two and a half I always hide my notebooks and am deliberate about erasing the chalkboard, because addition feels too much like dark magic; I don’t want them to find me out. My father, the clocks, they do not teach me math but remind me how time is like a piano staircase that wraps around my tiny body, coaxing my chalk-stub fingers to play it out the calculus as melody. I do learn never to take clocks at their word. Time’s stairs are oiled. Somewhere in the mountains men who spin cigarettes spin atoms too and tell us what time we should exist in, and we believe them, because we’ve got
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nothing else going for us. Now that I know better, I am 21, and it feels like I have been here many times before, and I am billions of years older and I also haven’t been born yet. This is probably why I like catching the late trains best, the ones that lead me back to my city when it is desolate, when my city is the end of the universe which I have seen many times. Clutching my bag that is like what the Andromeda Cluster would be if it pinioned itself to my back. And maybe I should feel guilty about being the only time traveler, about leaving my limbs in a mess scattered all over the Triassic, about shedding people like snakeskins. But I am realizing there is no one to orient my guilt, that my friends, even the ones who delight in small things and make beautiful polygons when they cry, it is time to uninvent them too and start over.
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From the Bathroom Floor words: Denayja Reese
I never thought I'd get up off the bathroom floor Just five years ago Yet here I stand before you I was looking for love and finding empty affection Suicidal thoughts and sullen eyes Probably dangerous being all by myself It always takes time to ask for help I used to wish I could wake up and put on someone else's shoes Walk for miles, smiling their smiles But I wear my past wounds As armor preparing for the battle Triumph over adversity is my life's greatest theme Here I stand before you Old enough to know that You cannot predict the ending from how it all starts And wise enough to survive when things fall apart
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What does transition mean to you?
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