3rd Edition, Issue 2
The Selladore
 
Dicere sicut furcifur.
Cover: Illuminate, Zaina Khan !2
01/12/2018
SELLADORE "I was astonished when someone first showed that by writing cellar door as Selladore one produces an enchanting proper name.” - C.S. Lewis “Your language too has soft and beautiful words, but they are not always appreciated. What could be more musical than your word cellar-door?” - W.D. Howells “The modern small home or apartment has ... deprived today's child of ... the pleasant summer afternoon activity of sliding down cellar doors. Just what happened to the slanted cellar door in this efficient age isn't clear; although cellars have remained, nothing has disappeared more quietly from modern life than these cellar doors.” - William Chapman White “This famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, that ‘cellar door’ is the most beautiful.” - Karen Pomeroy
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CONTENTS Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 . Tracklist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
LOL @ the universe and its relentless tortures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anonymous
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Responses to the question “are you okay?”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Anonymous Untitled . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12, 13 Manousha Dhiwanghar 3:00 AM. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Stephanie Townsend
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Interlude. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17, 18 Anonymous Wow. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Abigail Butler
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What are you scared of? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26, 27 Zaina Khan IF SPOKEN ALOUD, THESE ARE TRUE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Mr. Levesque
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INTRODUCTION Within these pages are entire worlds, constellations of meaning and purpose brought to bear upon us by the girls of Elmwood. There is a startling array of techniques and styles fraught with humour, passion and intent. Though each piece says something different they are similar in that they all say something, meaningful and forcefully. We started this journal for this express purpose, to give the girls of this school an opportunity to regain control over language, to exert agency where there might exist passivity. These authors have tamed language to meet their emotional ends and, in so doing, give you the reader an understanding that such things are possible, no matter your age or intent. We ask simply that you read these words with an open mind, an open heart and with the understanding that, should you choose to express yourself as well, we will be waiting for you with the next issue. Sincerely, Your Editors
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TRACKLIST 2017 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
German Error Message
Dogfight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Current Joys
Holocene . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bon Iver . That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Smiths . Shiver. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lucy Rose . I Love You So. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Walters . Death with Dignity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sufjan Stevens
Waste?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Michl . Everything Is Scary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
German Error Message
137. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Brand New . Catch Me If You Can (Bonus Track). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . EDEN
Starry Eyes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Cigarettes After Sex
Can’tcha Say (You Believe In Me)/Still In Love . . . . . . . . . Boston . Available to listen at https://open.spotify.com/user/theselladore !6
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Helios, Anonymous
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LOL @ the universe and its relentless tortures Anonymous 2018 better not be a cesspool like every other year since 2012 because i’m done with the universe’s tricks
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Strava, Charlotte Bascombe
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Responses to the question “are you okay?” Anonymous So I know we all have bad days and sometimes, when people ask if we’re okay, the answer we give isn’t always the truth. So, here are some easy responses for when someone asks if you’re okay. I’m somewhere between drab and fab Not according to my horoscope (especially effective if mercury is in retrograde) My lawyer says I don’t have to answer that question I could complain, but I’m not going to Yes, I am, are you dad? Spiritually? Physically? Socioeconomically? Well? Are you calling me fat? (This will automatically end any conversation) You’ll have to ask my doctor Well, I haven’t had my morning coffee yet and no one has gotten hurt so I would say yes at this point. Upright and still breathing, you? If I was any better, Vitamins would be taking me *look left then right* why what have you heard? Pass. I’m trying really hard to avoid ambiguous questions at the moment Well, the old war-wound is playing up, but otherwise… If I was any finer, I’d be china
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A Tribute to Van Gogh, Anonymous
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Untitled Manousha Dhiwanghar I was running From the unspeakable truth They found me once more I was never one to explore passing by our youth One more day, he implored I was running From the unspeakable truth Placed upon my lips The gusts rolling ‘gainst the waves The sails all set Laced with my fingertips I am finally brave I was running From the unspeakable truth To love and not punish Almost unyielding to master Yet despite daisy’s blooming It looked like a disaster I was running From the unspeakable truth For I’m good at love, not good at hate I shrank deep down far He knew how we all are I knew much much more Alas revealed The everlasting shield I stopped running Thus ending the flow The flow of my touch Engorging - my flickering glow !12
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Stumbling upon my lines I murmured and I cried.Â
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ARTIST OF THE MONTH
Untitled, Lily-Anne Villemaire
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3:00 AM Stephanie Townsend contrary to common belief, this hour is not for the young and in love not for those of the hustle and bustle not for the night life. it is for the lonely for those who ponder for those of us whose brains are filled with the brightest of colours. it is for those who worry about that which they cannot control who fear of losing what is the most precious to them who dwell on the little things they cannot change – after all, is the past not the past? it is when subconscious thoughts rule our minds the things we try to never think about but in reality, they’re always in the back of our minds. and so, as you’re falling asleep i am just awakening.
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Untitled, Hannah Gerring
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Interlude Anonymous We fall We fall into vices Into our humanly desires Into the abyss praying For salvation to elusive Figures we deem Omnipotent. Angelic. Gods. We fall Because Falling is easy For some, eerily comforting Alike the monotone pitch of a flatline heart Others find satisfaction in its perpetual nature A reassuring constant in this Consistently inconsistent world Many crave the rumoured Heavens on the other side Blessed with ethereal beauty But in this mad world We need to Pause The F A L L To drown in your own thoughts To let yourself be engulfed by stress Suffocated by an ocean of remorse Devoured by your ego !17
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Pause To reflect Upon the lost Concept of Oneself You are the author. This is the interlude. The intermission before the next act You decide its duration, its frequency Time is ticking into the next act Everyone’s watching But remember It doesn’t have to Because not all Good things Have to End
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Come In…We’re Open, Anonymous
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abc, Alexa Bothwell
xyz, Alexa Bothwell
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EDITORIALS From under oppressive currents we rise.
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Lumos, Anonymous
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Wow Abigail Butler Something I think about often is the concept of three dimensional space. Not from a physics standpoint, nor a mathematical or perhaps even philosophical one. But rather from one of awe. I think that it’s weird. The notion of movement and space is weird. I tried to find a more interesting word but that’s the one I’ve been using whenever I’ve attempted at explaining this to another person. It’s weird that you can be in one place, at one time, and then in the next moment, minute, hour, you could have displaced to a completely new location. In actuality I know that this is not weird – it’s very real. Moving is a thing that people do, it’s a simple and natural concept. You exist in once space and thus have the capacity to do so in another. But still…wow. This first occurred to me during a rowing practice late this fall. It was extremely dark out, the sky near black – such is October at five in the morning – I was in a boat on the Quebec side, facing downtown, waiting for practice to start when I took a moment to look, really look at the city. I had been in that same spot on the river virtually every day for roughly six months and had scarcely given my surroundings a second thought. In hindsight, it was likely because the sun was mostly up by the time practice started earlier in the year and I could see everything clearly – nothing looks nearly as interesting when you can see it in its entirety. But instead of fully visible buildings, I saw individual lights; static and dynamic, flickering and constant, blues, reds, greens, and even purples from the National Gallery. From this boat on the river, I had a spectacular, unobstructed view of the city skyline. Some days, it would be impeccably reflected in the water, on others, when the wind was strong, the reflections would be active and intangible. It was staggering/truly beautiful. But what caught my eye, day after day after day, was the flag atop the Peace Tower. It is illuminated in the darkness by yellow lights and almost looks like a candle. You can see, very clearly even from afar, that the flagpole stems from a square platform, which of course turns into the square but texturally appealing tower, surrounded by similarly attractive buildings. Now, at that moment, I was freezing, and tired, and generally wishing that I could just look at the lights in lieu of moving a boat backwards into sheer darkness with eight other people and then later having to go about my regular day and take whatever test or write whatever essay: that I could perhaps exist somewhere else. I looked to that square platform and it struck me that it was/is physically possible to stand at the top of the Peace Tower. Or to hang from the rails of the Alexandra bridge, to walk along the edges of the Chateau Laurier. And if this was true, then it is possible to exist anywhere in the world: it is physically possible to move your body anywhere you want to go. Some destinations may not be practical, or even wise to pursue, but they are possible.
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This may be considered on a grand scale, with the world being your platform or perhaps even within restricted dimensions. If you enter an empty classroom, you may choose to situate yourself in any one place within that room and exist in that spot, while knowing that if you choose, you may move to another spot and exist in the same way, be the same version of yourself, but in another place. It’s so simple, so inherent – of course you can displace anywhere you want. It’s not a truly a perplexing concept, I know this. But I find it comforting: if you’re ever somewhere you don’t wish to physically be, there are infinitely more places where you may choose to exist.
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Can I Tell You Something Pathetic? (The Harvard Wife), Abigail Butler
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What are you scared of? Zaina Khan Fear is inevitable. Individually, it may be attributed to various entities. For some, it might be spiders or clowns while for others it could be loss, bankruptcy or starvation. I think, as humans, our fears are rooted to something intangible that ignites a burning sensation within. It can be difficult to deal with your fears in our ever-changing world, especially when unfamiliar variables often arise out of nowhere. Yet, even in our hectic lives, I think the best way to deal with our fears is to talk about them. While there is no motivator quite like fear – pushing us to our limits, it still holds us back, taunting us before every decision we make. I think that fear is a cruel joke played on ourselves by the human psyche – the very thing that allows for our imagination and free-thinking is also responsible for our darkest thoughts and terrors. I often think about myself as an investment. My parents spend their entire lives investing in me – my wellbeing, my education; my teachers invest their time educating me to become a holistic, independent, innovative individual; and my friends invest their thoughts and emotions, in hopes that I return compassion and unwavering support in times of need. Everything has a cost, living in our world has its expenses and it is these transactions that I fear most. In most academic realms, the ultimate goal is to succeed and we are fortunate enough to attend an excellent institution. Our parents have worked hard to send us here and pursue a rich education; they’ve invested themselves. However, their investments come with expectations. It is like walking into a store and purchasing a sweater–you expect it to keep you warm, making it worth your while. Similarly, most of us have expectations for ourselves. As my parents have invested in my education, it is inevitable that they also have their expectations regarding my academic endeavours. Often when a test result is undesirable, we are upset – not because it accurately reflects our intellectual capabilities, but because we have failed to not only meet our expectations, but our investors’, we have become disappointments, catering to the idea of that we are simply not good enough. In fact, most of our fears aren’t related to our survival, rather they are fears of disappointing others, or feeling inferior to the individuals who encompass us. I think we all have a fear of disappointing those who expect things from us. Predominantly, people set expectations because they see potential. To put into perspective, for those who have any knowledge of economics, consider it as a production possibilities curve. Being situated along the curve is ideal, and where our “investors” expect us to be. However, the reality is, we’re not existing with maximum efficiency, we cannot live our lives at maximum efficiency and keep our sanity at the same time. The truth is that we are inside the curve and this lack of efficiency can be translated into unfulfilled potential.
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The apprehension of being a failure and disappointing those who see promise in us is amongst our greatest fears as humans. We demand to feel that something is responsible for our sadness, imperfections and unfulfilled potential, attributing them to fear. Our fears are a reflection of who we are, the good and the bad. Rather than living is hesitation, I encourage you to talk about your fears. My fear is being a terrible investment, not being worth it. So there you have it, sixteen years of rumination–a portion of my soul–in your hands. What are you scared of?
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Perception, Zaina Khan
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IF SPOKEN ALOUD, THESE ARE TRUE Mr. Levesque THERE ARE 49 UNITED STATES. JOHN LENNON WAS A BEACH BOY. THE DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO IS THE ONLY TRUE DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC. ESTROGEN WAS INVENTED BY MEN TO MAKE WOMEN EMOTIONAL AND CONTROL THEM. CHARLES BABBAGE INVENTED THE CAMERA. MERCURY IS THE ONLY ELEMENT THAT IS LIQUID AT ROOM TEMPERATURE. DENIS JOHNSON IS ALIVE. JAMES BALDWIN IS WHITE. DIRTY PICTURES ARE CAUSED BY PLANTS. WWF WRESTLING WAS REAL. THE CZECH REPUBLIC BECAME A COUNTRY IN 1946. CLOUDS ARE MADE OF CRYSTALLINE NEON. RICHARD FEYNMAN IS THE AUTHOR OF THE POETICS OF SPACE. ROBERT PATTINSON PLAYED JACOB IN THE TWILIGHT FILM SERIES. THE HUMAN HEART HAS TWELVE CHAMBERS. MARMALADE IS ANOTHER NAME FOR GRAPE JELLY. LIGHT REQUIRES A MEDIUM THROUGH WHICH TO TRAVEL. COLIN POWELL WAS BORN IN BALTIMORE, MARYLAND. THREE’S COMPANY WAS BASED ON A CHILDREN’S LINE OF CHEWABLE VITAMINS. NOBODY FINDS FEET INTERESTING. NEVILLE CHAMBERLAIN WAS DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ALLIED VICTORY IN WWII. TYLER, THE CREATOR WROTE AND DIRECTED THE FILM SINGLES. THIS POSTER’S BACKGROUND IS NOT A COLOUR. HATCHET IS ANOTHER WORD FOR BASKETBALL. IDAHO SHARES A BORDER WITH FLORIDA. JOHN F KENNEDY WAS SECRETARY OF STATE OF THE UNITED STATES AT THE TIME OF HIS DEATH. THERE IS NO MARKET FOR HUMAN ORGANS. NARKOMTIAZHPROM WAS DESIGNED BY FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT AND BUILT IN MOSCOW. LE CORBUSIER BELIEVED IN THE IMPORTANCE OF PEDESTRIAN FOOT TRAFFIC. ALVAR AALTO WAS A NORWEIGIAN SEISMOLOGIST. FALLINGWATER IS LOCATED IN PEORIA, IL. JACKIE CHAN STARS IN THE DYSTOPIAN UNDERWATER EROTIC THRILLER, HARD-BOILED. BRIAN ENO AND DAVID BRYNE ARE THE SAME PERSON.
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WRITERS Manousha Dhiwanghar Stephanie Townsend Abigail Bulter Zaina Khan Mr. Levesque
ARTISTS Charlotte Bascombe Lily-Anne Villemaire Hannah Gerring Alexa Bothwell Abigail Butler Zaina Khan
EDITORS Mr. Levesque Abigail Butler Linnea Dalvi Zaina Khan
DESIGNER Zaina Khan
IMMORTAL FOUNDERS Safa Siddiqui Megan Sweeney
PAST EDITORS Sophia Swettenham Madeleine Klebanoff O’Brien
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