Column • Writings Shared Dad, God, And Me: Remembering a Mennonite pastor and His Wayward Son, Ralph Friesen, Victoria, BC (Friesen Press). 275 pp. $22.50. (paperback) ISBN 9781525560880. Reviewed by Thiessen siblings: Paul, Danny, Afrieda, and Loreena, all with EMC connections and all following Christ in his Church.
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he very innocent looking photograph of Ralph and his father on the cover of this book introduces the beginning of a complex father-son relationship expressed in the subtitle: Remembering a Mennonite Pastor and His Wayward Son. This is a story that gives glimpses into the history of Steinbach, as well as the theology and past religious practices of the EMC. More personally, this is an account of a pastor and his son. The author tells of his growing up years with a father who is very busy—too busy to take time with his son. The pastor-father is businessman, a preacher, and an influential leader, and yet the son rejects his message. When Ralph is a teenager, his father suffers from a stroke and everything changes for the family. The once very busy father is now an invalid and needs a lot of help. Ralph’s reflections on caring for his father show a different kind of father-son relationship. Now his father is always present. But it is not the same father. At the same time as Peter D. Friesen was much appreciated by the church, Ralph feels distant from his father: “I would say that those of us who were never baptized wished for his blessing, but were not able to receive it in this way because of everything else we would be obliged to accept” (183). Of his teenage experience at Red Rock Bible Camp, Ralph says, “I turned my heart into stony ground,” rejecting the pressure to follow Christ. Although as a child he had once identified with Christianity, as an adult he could no longer say, “I have decided to follow Jesus,” but was unsure of what or whom to follow. Having grown up in Steinbach and understanding many of the issues that Ralph writes about, my brother Danny, my sisters Alfrieda and Loreena, and I decided to read this book and discuss it. We found ourselves a part of this story as we read details about our father, Isaac J. Thiessen, the shoemaker.
As we sat together reflecting on Ralph’s story, Loreena said, “I’m Ralph!” As a teenager, there was a time when she thought that if everything was considered sinful anyway, then you can do whatever you feel like doing. Reflecting on the teaching that everything was either good or evil, Danny said that it had taken him years to get a more balanced view. He felt that strongly opinionated parents can sometimes cause children to block out much of what they hear. Alfrieda emphasized her appreciation for Ralph’s transparency. Even if you didn’t grow up in Steinbach, as we did, this book is helpful for understanding the early thinking in our churches. If you are looking for a story with a happy ending where the wayward son repents of his sin, accepts his father’s faith, and becomes a follower of Jesus, you will be disappointed. But if you are willing to listen to the thoughts and experiences of a person who tells his life’s story with honest vulnerability, by reading this book you will gain some insights that may help you to understand similar people around you. This book may even help you to understand yourself.
Even if you didn’t grow up in Steinbach, as we did, this book is helpful for understanding the early thinking in our churches.
www.emcmessenger.ca • The Messenger 31
