50|Fifty

50 | Fifty

Emily Hutchinson

50 | Fifty

50 | Fifty

Emily Hutchinson

Preface The point in a woman’s life when she is most likely to be represented (or feel represented) is between the ages of 15 and 29. Outside of this, much of our visual media is dominated by images of men.

Women become increasingly invisible as they age – in and outside of the media. They must contend with the double-edged sword that is ageism and sexism. In the public eye, ageing women begin to be forgotten, but the opposite is true for men. For women, they must remain ‘beautiful’ and youthful in order to remain relevant. Remember the sacking of Arlene Phillips from Strictly Come Dancing and Miriam O’Reilly from Country File? The BBC felt they needed to “refresh” the shows, in other words, their female presenters were too old and needed replacing by younger counterparts. Why is it that we so frequently see older man-younger woman pairings in TV presenter roles? Apparently, a woman’s power is her youth. The patriarchal, ageist society we exist in forces women to fight for visual presence and acknowledgement – something that is often handed to men for free. Women encounter and are trapped in a catch-22 when they reach midlife: when the news media surrounding ageing is positive (increasing from its non-existent state), its circulation is problematic because it celebrates the

idea of being ‘ageless’. This ‘successful ageing’ narrative places unrealistic, demanding pressures on women as they grow older to deny or defy the natural ageing process.

There seems to be no better compliment than being told you look younger than your years, but this is a bad habit. A bad expectation. Ageing shouldn’t be defined and talked about in comparison to youth – therefore by what it lacks – but instead as an equally valuable and celebrated part of the life course. A period of growth. The pressure is significantly worse for women, due to a combination of factors: a patriarchal society, with sexist ideologies; a consumer industry that feeds off insecurities and societal pressure; and the menopause, conversation about which is ludicrously still taboo. There has been a positive shift in thinking and speaking, particularly over the last 10 years, but areas of the media are still playing catch up. A process of ‘un-learning’ – stereotypes, behaviour, attitudes, biases – needs to take place in many areas of our lives.

This project has been long in the making. A quote I saw on social media a couple of years ago really

struck me, and once I started thinking about it, I noticed it everywhere: “It’s not that women don’t age well, it’s that women aren’t allowed to age”.

It got me thinking about why this was, why we weren’t talking about it. The conversation about the representation of younger females and tackling diversity in the fashion industry, for example, is already underway, but it seemed nobody wanted to raise the issue when it came to mid-life. I began researching it and found a wealth of information and articles written on the topic and realised that the term “social invisibility” really was a thing. And yet somehow, the exact demographic of women that it applied to weren’t speaking out. Was it that they weren’t talking, or were they not being asked?

50 Fifty is a collection of portraits of women, all in their 50s, talking about their experience of ageing, the menopause, and all things from raising children, role models, life advice and battles with cancer.

Shot very simply against a white paper backdrop, each portrait was taken over a period of 8 weeks as the UK emerged from a third national lockdown, over a year since the COVID-19 pandemic began.

Restricted to meeting outdoors, this project was

quite literally a breath of fresh air for all those involved. After a very difficult year – a year that many women felt had “aged” them more than any other time before – I listened to women as they talked about the things they were looking forward to doing as the world returned to a state of normality. We all hope for good things in the future, for new opportunities and positive change. I hope that these women, and many more, will lead the way for others approaching mid-life, and will continue to inspire and support those around them, talking honestly and openly about their experiences. The conversation has been started, it is being had, but there is still a long way to go.

We must continue to fight for the exposure and visibility of mid-life women, normalise this time in their lives, and celebrate diversity.

- Emily Hutchinson

This book is dedicated to

Karen Wills 1965-2021 Without whom I would not have met many other incredible women.

Thank you Karen, for your time, kindness and generosity, and for letting me into your life if only for a short while.

Sally White, 56 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

What does it mean to me? Finding myself. Having less pressure - though the menopause is challenging. But overcoming the menopause and finding myself and what I want to do has been exciting, a new lease of life.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

No. No, because I always think that a new age brings a new, exciting part of your life. It doesn’t mean to say it’s going to be different, but change is a good thing.

We must embrace our age and embrace every moment, because not everybody has the chance.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I love walking. I love walking my Dalmatian, Bluebell.

Recently, I’ve loved exercising. I’ve always exercised, but I’ve found a new lease of passion for it. I love baking and creating – I think that is the thing I’m most passionate about, creating something new. Something that I can say that I’ve done, and it’s exciting! We need to embrace everything that we do and take it forward – never, ever look back.

What are your aspirations for the future?

Haha – to do more exciting things…I had a go at the cold-water swimming – loved it! I’m not jumping out of a

plane, you can forget that. But I want to try new things, and better myself. I did a skydive once. I jumped off a mountain on the back of somebody else and you run like mad strapped to a man and then he just, you know, shoots off the mountain and you know I can’t think of anything…oh my god it was horrendous! It was okay gliding along up in the sky though, that bit was amazing!

Would you say there is anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

My parents. They were both very inspirational people.

My father a photographer, a creative. My mother a hairdresser, but actually she did lots more. She got involved with a council, she did flower competitions, she was very creative as well. So, I come from a very creative background and, yes, that definitely shapes the way you are.

I’m a very passionate person. Not everybody is, and they say “well how did you become so passionate?”, and well I don’t know, that’s just the way I am. At 14 I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a chef. I didn’t care about anything else, I wanted to be a chef. And I achieved that. In life I think you can achieve anything that you want to, but you’ve got to have passion and you’ve got to just drive through it. And you can do it, anybody can do it.

Pam Stokell, 56 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Nothing that much, actually. I know I’m more experienced. I’m older, I feel more assertive, more confident in myself. I really wish that I was the person that I am now when I was younger, because I think I would have taken opportunities and done things that perhaps I was too hesitant to do then. It’s quite a shame really that you have to get older before you get that confidence!

The being 50 itself? Pff, doesn’t mean that much to me. I wasn’t worried as I approached 50. Probably part of it is that my husband is 5 years older than me, so by the time I get to whatever age I get to, he’s been there already!

So, it doesn’t feel like that big of a deal. I’ve always told myself right from when I was in my 20s that I was not going to be pressured by age. I could see how it affected my mother, the amount of make-up that she would put on in the mornings, the perms, the dyeing of her hair… and I thought ‘I’m not going to do any of that, I’m going to grow old gracefully’.

horses across Wiltshire and Berkshire. I’m aware that I’m slowing down. I’m aware that my brain isn’t working as sharply as it once was – it’s still a good brain, but it just needs to mull things over a bit. I forget things, which I find really frustrating. I’m slowing down in general, but then so is everyone that I compete against – and I’m still faster than most people! Actually, having the white hair and not using make up is a little bit of a secret weapon, because I turn up at races and you can see that people just immediately write me off because I look older. It’s such a tremendous feeling when I go shooting past them, leaving them wondering what happened. The assumption is: grey hair you’re old, you’re ineffective.

But that’s it, it’s an assumption. And it’s an assumption that people don’t make with men. You get male athletes in their 50s and 60s that are tremendous, and nobody thinks that they’re not. But I can see that they do with me.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

I’ve been aware of that stereotype, very much so. I have resisted it to the best of my ability. But it still bothers me that people my age – my friends – are trying to fit into something. Or someone will make a comment like “those clothes are too young for her”. Why? Why are they too young for her?

I suppose we see women on television and film trying to look younger, and younger people are disproportionately portrayed in TV and films, there are very few films and series where an older person is in the starring role. There are older people in the background, of course, but there are very few in main roles. In fact, I recently discovered a series that has been on the television for ages and ages – Silent Witness. Originally, the protagonist was a woman in her 40s. She was the head of a forensics department, and I thought, ‘brilliant, here’s a woman, yes she’s good looking, but she’s not particularly tall, she’s in her midlife, and she’s running the forensics science lab, and that’s fantastic’. Then they wrote her off, and in came a leggy blonde.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

Moving countries. All of my siblings and I found it very difficult. We moved from Peru when I was 13, and through a series of unfortunate events we ended up in Hull. I didn’t speak English at the time, and it was very difficult. We were bullied. We had a very difficult time adjusting to living in this country, even though we were white – if you’d have looked at me in the classroom, nobody would have picked me out as different, but I was.

It’s the “Other”. It’s such a difficult thing to explain, this sense of The Other and the need that so many people have to pick on The Other. So, again, that has just made me a much, much stronger person, more empathetic.

It was a horrible few years, but I’m a better person for them. Looking back would I change it? I think I would, just because it was such a difficult time, but I know I’m a completely different person to who I would be if I hadn’t gone through that. I wanted to die. For years on end, it was a very difficult time. The worst insult among us siblings that you could hurl at each other was “you’re talking like an English person!” because that feeling of not being accepted – it’s taken quite a long time to overcome. But I value who I am as a person now.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I am very keen on my sport – I’m a triathlete. Just before lockdown, I was trying to qualify for the World Championships. I was due to have done my first half Iron Man last summer, but it was cancelled because of COVID-19.

At the end of April this year, I’m doing the White Horse challenge, which is a 165km bike ride that takes in the 4

What do you love?

That can be answered on so many levels. In terms of what’s most important to me: my children. My three kids are what I love most of all. But, if it’s just me and what I want to do, I would say being in a triathlon. The competition, the feeling of competing and getting to the finish line. That’s an amazing feeling and I really love that.

Karen Evans, 55 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I look at it as a different phase in my life, a completely different phase. A lot more freedom. A lot more freedom, but then also a lot more confusion as well. You’re at that time in your life when you’ve got a lot to reflect on, and yes, you’ve got all this new-found freedom, but then it’s a little bit overwhelming because you think well yes, there’s a lot of things that I’d like to do now – I haven’t got the ties that I had before with my family, so I’ve got this feeling that I’m just agitated to do something, start something new. It’s just a case of trying to find exactly what you want to do.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

When I was 50, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. So, although I was dreading it, when I got the diagnosis, it almost took over. I think, for me, it was the fact that I had got to 50, then got over my cancer diagnosis, was in remission and it was just about embracing life and not really thinking so much about my age, that didn’t really matter. It definitely knocked that initial concern of ‘my god I’m 50’ completely on the head. My views completely changed.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I just love to get out with my friends now. A lot has happened to me so far in my 50s – separation in marriage included – a lot of different things have happened. So, for me it is a completely new life, with lots of changes to adjust to. My friends are very important to me, I like to get out with them and just have a good time and embrace what I can. And sometimes that means doing it on my own, and that’s okay as well. I’ve taken up cycling – love that – and walking, either with friends or on my own. Not huge things, but things that I’m enjoying and that give me pleasure.

What is it that you do for work?

I’ve had quite a few different careers. Where I’m working now, is for the NHS, in a Doctor’s surgery as a medical receptionist. I’ve chopped and changed since leaving school between admin receptionist roles to actually, well, I trained as a chef initially, so I’ve chopped between the two! I’m a little bit more settled on the admin and receptionist roles now.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I think yes, women are definitely in the background more so than men. But I think that’s changing – changing slowly, but it is definitely changing for the better. More women are standing up for what they believe in and they won’t be pushed into the background anymore. They have a got a voice, and they want to be heard. So, I think there is a long way to go, but hopefully by the time my daughters reach that age, things will be a lot better. We are getting there, but slowly.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

Yes. It was the cancer diagnosis and the failure in the marriage. Definitely. But then having said that, they are actually changing me to be a better person. Obviously, you wouldn’t choose to go down either of those paths, but when I look back, I think actually I like myself more now than I did then.

What do you love?

Gin. Chocolate and a G&T.

Helen Taylor, 56 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I think it means freedom. Kids are behind you, anyone I’m responsible for is behind me, other than parents, but they live closer to my sister so it’s alright! No, I’m only joking. But it’s that freedom to choose to do things, it’s a few years until I get my pension, and I’m just thinking I can almost do what I like. It’s totally different to how I’ve felt prior to this.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

I didn’t think I was going to as I’ve never thought about age, but I did have a real wobble at 50. I don’t know why.

Maybe you think you’re never going to get there? I don’t know, it was weird, because most of my friends hit 50 first, so it wasn’t unusual. I wasn’t expecting to feel that way. I have almost had no issue whatsoever with ageing, it’s been absolutely fine on the whole. If you don’t age, you’re dead…so I’d rather be getting old and looking my age! How do you complain about it?

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

No, no I wouldn’t. I’ve always acted how I like to do – which is usually quite childlike! So no, I’ve never felt as though I shouldn’t do a certain thing because of my age. I’m only just a little bit more cautious about things because I know you take so much longer to mend, so the fragility side of ageing, but not in terms of how I act. No social pressures there.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I would agree. Probably only because I’ve heard things like female news readers getting ditched much earlier than men, so from that inequality side of things – it’s okay for men to get old, and it’s not okay for women to get old. You’ve got your silver fox and everything for men, and that’s absolutely fine, but for women it’s not the same. In terms of the media, for women if you’re eye candy you’re going to get on.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

I think we tend to get portrayed as the frumpy, dissatis-

fied housewives in the media, we’re not usually the star of the show. I just love Dame Judi Dench, she has been allowed to age properly.

What are your hobbies and passions?

Current hobbies: lots of tennis, I’ve learnt to windsurf and paddleboard and sail. I love learning new things.

I was, before COVID-19, dancing, I love ceroc and that sort of contact you can have with people…being allowed to be an idiot on the dance floor! It’s people and doing things that are my two passions. I started off as a secondary school maths teacher. Then I spent 30 years in IT and technology. 18 months ago I decided to take a sabbatical from work. Now I’m doing some private maths tutoring and I’m also an emotional wellbeing therapist.

So, a big career change, and actually taking the jump to walk away from a very secure, well-paid job with a good pension scheme, sick pay and all those benefits, was a big thing. But it felt like a safe time to do it. I’d thought about travelling the world, so I took myself to Cambodia and Thailand, 2 weeks organised and 2 weeks on my own, and then I did Costa Rica. But I just thought, do you know what? I don’t actually want to do that. I missed being able to communicate with people in a common language.

You can make yourself understood, but it’s being able to laugh and joke around, the sarcasm. I did have an amazing time though, I learnt to be by myself, and as a mum to suddenly be alone – to go out and eat by myself was very strange at first. It was strange but very liberating as well.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

I’d probably have to say my mum. She is the sort who will never let anything get her down, a real laugh, she’ll talk to anyone. Learning to do that…you know even though lots of people won’t talk to you, if you start the conversation, people will be really grateful that you’ve spoken to them. And I’ve got this thing that if you can make one person smile in a day, you’ve done your job. And that is my mum all over.

Alison Base, 59 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I suppose there’s a bit of freedom in a way, in that people begin to, perhaps sadly, find there’s not the same pressures on you to be as young and attractive. I’ve had family and feel comfortable with friends, and my career is where it is and, in that sense, I have no real great ambitions for the future. So, you know, I’ve got a bit more chill time now. There’s not so many pressures on, that’s how I feel.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

Yeah. So definitely hair colour – I have actually decided that I am “au natural”, I am grey. But there aren’t many of us. In fact, only in lockdown have I noticed that some of my friends have actually started to go grey naturally, but normally I’d go through all my friends and I’d know that I was the only one that didn’t use hair-dye. There’s such a pressure, and the blokes don’t do they? Well, some do, but not most men. I really felt a pressure to dye my hair, but I haven’t, I’ve resisted it.

Is your experience of ageing a positive one in general?

Certain aspects definitely are – I’ve been very fortunate in life, we’ve had money to be able to achieve a lot of what I want to, but it’s not past-tense because I’m not on my death bed yet! The pressure is certainly lifted, although I guess the pressure now is “when are you going to retire?”, “what are you going to do when you retire?”, that sort of thing, and actually, I’m not in that place at the moment. But there is that pressure, surrounding this huge life change and what you are going to do about it.

But you know, with COVID-19 and everything, the whole mortality thing has become a bigger thing to consider anyway. What is quality of life?

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

Absolutely, but for me I’ve quite liked not being so visible. I don’t like having everyone’s eyes on me, so I’ve quite liked it.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

No. If you look at female newsreaders or female presenters, they’re always extremely attractive, extremely fit.

You get a few, but then they are more radio presenters… and I wonder why that is! There’s been more recently in Hollywood some successful films that do feature older women and it’s like a fight back – and its great – and there are so many brilliant older actresses that have managed to fight against that, like Judi Dench who is still very successful and very beautiful in a lot of peoples’ eyes.

I think that’s been a real step forward, but there aren’t very many of them are there? To not colour your hair, to not get a ‘pin and tuck’, you know, it’s radical. It’s a talking point, “Why have you decided not to?” as if that’s the normal progression and you’re rebelling against it. And you just think ‘what?! That’s normal? To go and have your face messed about with?’. I wish the opposite question was asked.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I like to be outside and walking. We recently bought a narrow boat on the canal and it’s just opened a whole new window of life – a community too, because it’s in a small little village and we got to know people. Travel. I love travel, and that’s something we’re looking forward to when we do have a bit more time. Career-wise, I’m doing work that I really enjoy and that I feel well-equipped to do.

Would you say there is anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

Probably my job and that I’ve continued to be very passionate about the work I do and the career I chose.

And that sparked the Master’s Degree that I did a couple of years ago which gave me real fulfilment, like ‘Yes, my brain still works!’…because I was a bit worried! My Dad sadly died a few years ago, he was an academic and it was really nice because he sort of set me off on that. So, I have a real enjoyment of learning – even when you’re in your 50s!

Roberta Smart, 52 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

At the end of the year just before I turned 50, I decided I wanted a word of the year. I chose joy. I have a history of depression and anxiety, and I’m sick and tired of just being a moody cow, so I wanted to choose a word that would help me find some good. Then the phrase “the radical pursuit of joy” fell in my head. And I just thought, if I lived in the radical pursuit of joy, what would that look like? So, I took up the phrase, I made it a mantra, I shared it everywhere and talked about it all the time.

I went to a workshop with my author friend, and we looked at a book called Where’s Your Fucking Unicorn?

What is my fucking unicorn? Well, it’s the dream you want that you believe you’ll never get, and then the process by which you figure out how to get it. I wrote down: I want my own one woman show. At that point I hadn’t been on stage since my early 20s. Shortly after that workshop I found a workshop in Stroud – how to write your own one woman show. That’s bizarre…I’ve just made that decision and there it is. So, I went along, met several people, found some comedy gigs in Cheltenham. I then started a beginner’s course for improv in the October, and by February I was on the main stage in the Playhouse, with 180 people in the audience. My brain was blown. So, 50 to me is about doing things!

People often say that menopause is puberty but backwards – yep. What did you do during puberty? You tried things, you had a go at things, you fell massively, you embarrassed yourself, you discovered things. That’s what my 50s feels like. Because of my radical pursuit of joy, even on a bad day you think ‘well what have I got to feel grateful for? What’s positive?’. Well, I’ve got a warm bed to snuggle up in. I’m safe, I’m fed and I’m warm. My joy can be found in just grabbing onto what you’ve got, even when you’re feeling really low.

Being 50 is about learning to accept yourself as well.

We’ve grown up with the whole flat tummy ethos of life – I never had one in my life! And now, at our age, quite a lot of us are more cuddly. And I would really love for people to feel more comfortable about that, rather than dressing to hide it. Why? It does my nut it, frankly. I’m meeting a lot of women that have lost their confidence completely, and that’s what I do in my work, help them try to get that back. There’s a real disparity. I think some women are still trying to be in the life they had before – you can’t be, you can’t be that mummy of little children anymore because they’ve grown up, you can’t be a newlywed anymore because you’ve been married 30 years.

Be the person on the other side of that, and that’s where you find your confidence. You’ve got to be willing to go through the change, literally, not just menopause, but this change of identity.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

I’ve been in an unusual position in that I haven’t been in the workplace – my ex-partner is disabled, so we were both at home. Our life has been 24/7 for 26 years. So, I didn’t really have to face all those stereotypes, I didn’t have to earn my place in a male workplace. I’m also a very tall person, so I’m not your average lady, I stand out and I’m very loud. I don’t think anyone would have found a pigeonhole that was my size! So not so much for me, I was protected from it because I lived in a bit of a bubble, really.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

It’s interesting, because when women are “spotted”, they’re criticised. We’re still primed to notice beauty, attractiveness, and fashion. I suppose because I’m a mum I notice other mothers. But it’s almost like you have to have a reason to be noticed in the world right now – have you got a Title? Have you earned your place?

Have you achieved something? But then when you see how women are getting treated on social media – when someone might make a statement that perhaps isn’t as favourable towards men, or might call out misogynistic or sexist behaviour, the onslaught of trolling is frightening. People get death threats and rape threats for daring to say that this person was misogynistic. I haven’t experienced it as such myself, and of course I’m a performer, so I’m not invisible, I get up on stage... But it was an odd experience to almost assume invisibility. I think you can decide not to be invisible. Which means sometimes dressing ridiculously, or laughing too loudly, or daring to argue in the street – whatever it is, you don’t have to shrink away or apologise. Stop saying sorry at the beginning of sentences! Women who are 50, stop saying sorry! I think we should up the anti for middle aged women being wild!

What are your hobbies and passions?

Before I stopped working to have kids, I had 30 jobs in 10 years! I wasn’t cut out for the day job, you can see, can’t you? That’s roughly 3 months a job. Retail, catering, caring. I wanted to be discovered, not as an actress, not as a famous person, but I just wanted someone to spot me and go “I get what you’ve got. I need that, come and work for me”. I get enthused with potential. Potential is sexy. Anything can happen. I got into philosophy and spiritualism stuff when I was about 18. I got my first set of tarot cards given to me when I was 26. I went hell for leather after that, and I fell headlong into the whole mind body spirit.

Francesca Walker, 54 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

It means freedom actually, it really does. I’ve gone through education, I’ve gone through raising children, and although they’re both at Uni still and therefore not entirely free flying, actually for me it means that I can please myself a bit more for the first time in 25 years. But I appreciate that I’ve only been in this situation for a year or so, I was divorced last year, and we’ve been in lockdown that whole time since, so what it’s actually going to look like in “real-life” as it were, as opposed to lockdown, who knows? Watch this space.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

Not really, no. I felt a bit more tense at 40, because you’re still in the midst of children at school age, you know, it’s a whole different ball game. You’re still putting your own needs at the bottom of the pile. So, 40 felt more challenging for me. Actually, turning 50 went completely unnoticed because of personal circumstances, it wasn’t really a thing. I might have an official 5 decades of life party when lockdown ends!

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeonholed as you approached the mid-life point?

Yeah – all the time. All the time because you’re just the “old one”. You’re the middle-aged lady, the one who never wears nice clothes anymore, the one who just goes round in an anorak. It’s things like having young adult daughters…I remember going to visit my eldest in her University town, we went out for dinner, had a drink, and we were walking home and for the first time in 30 plus years, I experienced a load of comments from blokes blocking the pavement. I mean this happens to my daughter all the time, she’s only in her early 20s, but it was really strange because I’d kind of forgotten that there are problems with being highly visible as well, as a woman.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

Absolutely agree. There are very few women that are high profile and over 50 – you can name them on one hand almost, because it’s so unusual. You look through the newspaper and without reading any of the text, if you just look at the photographs it’s man after man after man, doing interesting work or sports people or whatev-

er. You look at the pictures of women, they’re in adverts, scantily dressed, looking like airbrushed perfection. It’s all about how you look, nothing to do with who you are, what you do, what you can offer. It’s frustrating.

My friend actually got me this bangle and it says on it, “Nevertheless, she persisted”, which I love. I think this is a meme – I think I’m using that right – a meme from Senator Elizabeth Warren, when she was trying to press a point, she wanted answers for something and was incredibly determined to get these answers, and in the end, she was publicly rebuked in the House by the speaker, who said “Elizabeth Warren has been warned not to continue on this path, nevertheless, she persisted”.

You’re telling somebody off, a mature woman, an incredibly accomplished woman, who just wants answers, and treating her like she’s a naughty schoolgirl?

What are your hobbies and passions?

Reading is my thing. I will read and read and read, book after book after book. My first degree was in English Literature. That was just 3 years of reading about 10 books a week, it was great! Sadly, not so much now. And actually, I really love having a Kindle, because the absolute trash that you read is not visible…you’ve not got these terrible covers on your bookshelf. The absolute drivel that I read now, because everything else is too much, it’s hidden – great! Love my Kindle.

What are your aspirations for the future?

That’s really hard, because over the last couple of years I’ve gone through such massive personal changes. Having been with my ex-husband since we were 22, we had a couple of kids and have been together all that time, then got a divorce last year – it was difficult, it’s fair to say.

It’s all a bit nebulous really, at the moment. It’s almost like going back to your early 20s again, when you’re just starting to make your life. I’m having to remake it.

What do you love?

My girls. Without question. Actually, that’s one of the nice things about going back to what I said before about freedom, I’ve actually got freedom to be with the girls now in a way that is completely unchallenged by the difficult situation that we were in as a family for some time.

The freedom to just be with the girls and the excitement of seeing them grow into young women and do their own thing.

Lisa McGowan, 51 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

It’s just a number. I got really psyched up for my 50th Birthday because me and 3 life-long friends were going to go on a cruise, booked to go last April. We’d been saving to go for 7 years and then we didn’t get to go because COVID hit – but we’ve rebooked to go next year, so fingers crossed! So, yeah, being 50 doesn’t really mean too much to me, I was actually really looking forward to my 50th, it seemed like a good excuse to party!

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

I don’t think so. Although I am going to get my hair cut…I always thought that as I got older, I’d get my hair cut much shorter, I don’t know why. Older women, sometimes if their hair is too long, it seems to age you, as if you’re hanging onto your youth maybe?

What are your hobbies and passions?

I’m a mad sewer, I love sewing. I run a sewing school from a small building in the middle of my garden, and I teach beginners how to sew. So that’s what I do, that’s my hobby, I just love sewing. My house is always full of people, we’ve currently got Spanish students staying for the Easter holidays who are at boarding school here in the UK. I’ve actually got a couple of jobs: I work for a PR company 4 days a week; I do my sewing school; I work for a guardianship company as well, so looking after kids who are at boarding schools; I do my book-keeping. My CV is a riot! And then I love gardening too. But sewing is my passion.

What are your aspirations for the future?

I quite like the balance that I have at the moment. The

work I do for the PR company keeps me interested, stimulated, and it’s only part-time so I can get a balance.

Up until a few years ago I was a full-time sales rep, so I would be going up and down the country, covering so many miles, and just never having a life. I was away such a lot. But now, I’m part time in one job, part time in another job, I’ve got my hobby…it’s just much better for me doing lots of things for a short period of time.

But where will I be in 10 years’ time? Well, hopefully no mortgage! That would be nice! And still running sewing classes.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I think it’s probably true. I think a lot of people see women in their 50s and dismiss them – they just think we might not have much substance. But I think we do have a lot to give, and it’s a shame that we’re overlooked.

With my PR job, part of what I do is the admin for an association, and it is so male-orientated its unbelievable!

It’s all blokes, and very, very few women. Perhaps it’s just the areas that I work in where you don’t see many women? I’m lucky, because the job that I’ve got for the PR company is actually run by a woman. She’s 60, had 3 kids – she knows what life is about. Anytime you want to ask for time off or flexibility, she trusts you. It’s the best job I’ve ever had in that sense. And she says Thank You. She appreciates you. She’s a very clever woman.

What do you love?

Life!

Niamh Turpin, 51 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Initially, when I hit the 50 milestone I felt that I was definitely getting older. It means aches and pains and starting to do jogging and to get fit and healthy to counteract the ageing.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

Simply about how the menopause would hit. I am 52 soon and I was actually in the Hippodrome watching a Dawn French show when I first started to get hot flushes.

I was 47, and from that point onwards I went on green sage and some natural supplements from Holland and Barrett and I thought well unless I go mental – quite mad, laughing and crying in one sentence type of thing – I wouldn’t go on HRT unless I really needed it. That’s what I’ve stuck to since. You notice changes: your skin isn’t as elastic, lines start showing and stick, and I’ve always been really slender and now I’ve got an inch that I didn’t have before, even though I’m jogging.

of natural treatments done that can actually boost you, like natural fillers and things, but it’s about keeping strong as well. Gwyneth Paltrow is almost my age too, so I do think it’s not as bad now in that sense, in terms of the representation of that age group, compared to a few years back where the representation seemed to cut off about age 30.

What are your hobbies and passions?

Jogging, which I’ve only taken up recently in lockdown. I do a little bit of yoga and we walk or hike every day. We – my family – have a van and we take it out and camp in it. We cycle regularly as well. And then of course I enjoy doing my little bits and pieces as an SA on television and movie sets when that comes about. I also do a couple of days in a bodyshop and I like this interaction with people.

Basically, I like to keep a mix of everything going.

Is your experience of ageing a positive one?

Absolutely more positive than negative. It wasn’t any worse or better than when I was 40, or when I was 30. It almost seemed like a bigger deal when I was leaving my twenties and going into 30 when I celebrated that Birthday with a group of friends. When I hit 40, I was pregnant with my first child and was about to get married a few months later. By the time I was 50, I had done all the big life challenges, and it was about focussing more on myself. Age does hold you back physically, but you have to just try your best to negate that.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

We began very early – I must have been 6 or 7 – when we had plays to read and then what part you got depended on how well you did. I generally got the part I started practising because it often involved different accents and everything else which I was rather good at. That, plus becoming a successful athlete quite young – just at a local level, I was county champion and then went into the All Irelands – all taught me that I had the power and skill within me, separate from school-work that I wasn’t interested in, and that it was up to me to make what I did of the world. I liked that I could rely on myself.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

A bit more now. You’ve got people like Catherine Zeta-Jones, Liz Hurley, Nicole Kidman – I was down to the last 5 once to be her body double in something. Mini Driver I was her body double in a shower scene, years and years ago. These are all women of my height, my age, and they do look amazing. And I know they may have lots

What do you love?

My children. They’re little faces…they drove me mad in lockdown! But we’ve had the best year, the best year. It hasn’t been depression or isolation or anything like that for us, and you know I have been lucky with my husband too. But they just bring me joy – my little one she always goes “and how are you today mummy?”. Best thing in the world having children.

Yasmin Moxon, 59 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

In what context you know? In relation to work, in relation to physical being…age is more of a number. I think you think about age when you feel something – if you wake up in the morning and your bones are creaking, then that’s the time I would think about age. But I wouldn’t say ‘oh, my 50th birthday is coming up, I must think about age’…it was never like that.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeonholed as you approached the mid-life point?

Good question. Yes, is the short answer, and that’s not because somebody I know has said “now you’re 55 you shouldn’t wear that, you shouldn’t do that” – nobody has said that, but you do feel that in terms of images you see. I don’t like to generalise, but I’d say people in their 50s will have a certain way of not dressing, rather than a certain way of dressing. That’s defined probably by going into a shop and finding what’s on the rail for you. So yes, but I think that is largely due to external factors – it’s because of the environment, and the environment tends to colour your choices, or influence you, whether that is overtly or surreptitiously. But say, for example, I see a clothing design that I did like, it wouldn’t be because it was being modelled by people in my age bracket necessarily, that wouldn’t influence my choice, but I know that it does matter to a lot of people. I like to look at the design of the clothes rather than the person wearing it.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I would have to agree, only because what is in your face, what is being advertised, tends to cater to a younger market.

best person for the job. It’s just that traditionally, engineering would be a male profession, but it’s not quite so much like that anymore. But then again, the industry isn’t just made up of engineers, there are all kinds of professions. My specific responsibility at work is I buy fuel for the power stations, I look at the quality of manufacture of the fuel. It’s an industrial environment, and although the split is not 50:50 between male and female, you don’t tend to feel that you are disadvantaged because you are female and because you’re an older female. Yes of course we have problems with managers who haven’t grown or don’t understand diversity or inclusivity, but then that’s in any profession.

What are your hobbies and passions?

My husband and I share a passion for cooking. As a family we like to eat, but when I say eating well, I’m talking more about the food culture, it’s exploring different cuisines, and as a family we like to do that. In order to do that, we cook, it’s not about eating out, it’s the process of cooking and growing our own food. I do have a passion for promoting energy efficiency and I try to instil those values within the family – caring for the environment, and I know that’s a cliché but it’s all about what you can do on an individual level. So, I try to encourage everyone I know to recycle, even before it was fashionable to recycle. Working in the energy industry, you can really see the benefits and what will happen if people don’t take care of the environment. Every little helps, and then you multiply that…it doesn’t have to be an organised activity, you don’t even have to shout out about what you’re doing, you don’t have to put it on social media, but just what are you doing on an individual level?

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

In general, probably not. Again, because whatever I see on the shelves as you walk into a supermarket, a bookstore, a news agents, in terms of print media – no. Yes, you have the odd person, but otherwise no. In terms of shows, I don’t tend to watch reality TV, I watch a lot of films, but then films are so much more varied, and you can find a lot of characters that are representative.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

It’s difficult to pinpoint just one thing. It’s more about what you experience through your whole life, and then you use that to go forward. Like anybody else, I’ve made a lot of mistakes, a lot of bad decisions, but you have to take something from that for the next time – make sure there is no next time! So, for me, it’s just been about everything I’ve gone through, not one particular person, not one particular thing, not one particular achievement or one particular mistake. I like to think of it as a holistic picture.

What do you do for your work?

I work in the electricity industry. It’s part of the energy industry, and so it’s very male orientated. The company I work for runs power stations, so yes, the vast majority of the employees are male. But having said that, it is the type of industry that is more of a meritocracy, it’s the

What do you love?

Gosh, what do I love? That’s difficult, very difficult. There are degrees of love. I’d say I’d love to eat, and that’s not an exaggeration. I like – I love – I use the words interchangeably…I love to read, I love to travel. There are a lot of things I love.

Alison Clair, 58 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I’ve felt more relaxed in my 50s, I think you become more relaxed with who you are, for me I’m more at home with who I am. Children have grown up, and perhaps that plays a part. I feel more empowered. I definitely feel more empowered now than I did in my 40s, so it’s been for me in many ways quite a confidence-building time, surprisingly.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

You know I had a real problem with being 30, and it almost felt like the end of youth. 40 was a happy time, there were young children. You know I don’t think I had thoughts about being 50, negative or positive…and I think already my life had begun to change in a lot of different respects; from a work perspective, I travelled more, I felt I had the confidence to travel and explore things more. Things I might have been more worried to do when I was younger. So, a lot has happened in my 50s, but actually on the whole I’m enjoying them.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

Not corporately – I work for a corporate organisation and I think a lot of work has gone into avoiding women having that feeling. It doesn’t mean you don’t have it though. One of the things I’ve noticed, and I think maybe this has happened in my 50s, and this will sound weird, but the assessment sometimes from men. I’ve sat in some really interesting meetings through work, and I’ve noticed that men will take a glance at your wedding ring finger. It is only a slight glance, but it’s definitely been happening. And I’ve sat there and thought, ‘do I do this?’.

And if I do or don’t, why do they do it? What assessment are they making of me? Why are they making that brief check? What does it suggest when there’s an absence of a wedding ring, or it being there? What does it mean?

Does it mean I’m easy, desperate, lonely, sad? But you know, once I realised it was happening, I started to look for it. It’s something I’ve noticed particularly in my 50s.

I didn’t notice it when I was younger. It’s so interesting to me. It might be a subconscious thing, but it happens a lot. You know, if you have 10 men in a room it won’t be one, it will be at least 5, at least half..

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I would agree. I would strongly agree, and I think there’s

an anonymity that happens for a woman in her 50s.

Whether that’s how you hold a room, hold a conversation, or whether you feel seen. I’ve had conversations with women as well about that, and I think for women that have been beautiful or compelling that must be a very, very difficult bridge to cross, to slip into anonymity.

I don’t think I’ve personally felt that, but I don’t think that’s something I would have been focussed on at any point in my life. But I’ve thought about it a lot before.

And it just doesn’t happen for men, for many different reasons. They seem to take on a new persona, new guise, new attitude, new wisdom…whatever it is you want to say. Whereas with women, we become of little use any more, to men, to society, as sexual beings.

There is a repeating pattern, and it’s something in my head about sexuality. You know in the past or even now, we’d go to the cinema and watch a movie about gay women, and that would still be classed as entertainment.

But it wouldn’t be seen in the same way as easily if it were gay men – a bit more now – but we would not class that as the same form of entertainment. But does that in some way speak to the perception of women? It comes back to entertainment, about older women being not as easy on the eye. And yet Nigela Lawson, who oozes sex appeal, there’s something very compelling about her at 30, 40, 50 or 80. But she’s probably unique in that. I don’t want to go down this road, but I find it difficult not to go down the road of the male gaze.

What are your hobbies and passions?

Work I’ve had great passion for. I work in fraud. I’ve really enjoyed learning, and still enjoy learning. I love information. There’s a passion for learning and being good at the subject that I work in. I’m a very outdoor person, I like the outdoor life. I’ve done a lot of sailing in the last decade. In my 50s I’ve been across the Atlantic.

I’ve travelled alone, and actually was really impressed to see the number of women doing that. I’ve learnt in my 50s to play the saxophone. It was a snap decision, I saw a second-hand saxophone in a music shop window, and I thought ‘yup, that’s what I’m gonna do now!’. I joined a choir and I’ve found real passion in that, not because I’m a great singer, but because singing makes me really happy. I’ve become a Samaritan, and that was born I think out of realising the real need to be able to talk to another person in life sometimes. How hard would it be if you have no one to talk to? And I’m doing it because I was really lucky to have had that on some really bad occasions.

Ally Goff, 59 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

It’s not really any different to being in your 40s. It is just a number. I think what counts is how you feel inside, and obviously coming back to Uni has kept me youthful as I’m surrounded by young people which is lovely. My children are young adults, and they keep me young. I don’t dress like a 59-year-old, and I don’t behave like one either!

Really, it is just a number, something that’s on my birth certificate.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

I don’t know, I suppose it is a milestone. I did have a big party to celebrate it, actually I had a 49 and a half party!

Because my Birthday is close to Christmas people would make 101 excuses not to come so I had my party in June and lots of people came and it was fancy dress and just fun.

What are your hobbies and passions?

Art. Hence the fact I’m here at University doing a degree and potentially going to go on and do a Master’s. That has become a big passion. I like gardening, I like cooking, I like walking. I love foreign holidays and I really enjoy the sunshine and would very much like to be able to do that again but who knows…I love charity shops and boot sales! I love buying second-hand clothes and as you can see, I make my own fashion! I’m not a follower of fashion. I just love fun stuff, bright colours, and living life to the full.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

No, really apart from Helen Mirren and Judi Dench you don’t see women of a certain age portrayed. If you look at all the news readers and all the weather girls and

people who are in public profile every day, they’re 40 something – if we’re lucky. Usually, they’re in the 25 to 35 age group. You start to get grey hair, a few wrinkles and a bit of middle-aged spread and it seems that they don’t want you… because you’re not decorous, and you’re not eye candy for the public, and therefore you’re not deemed worthy. And it’s wrong. It’s totally wrong. Unfortunately, it’s the people at the top – the middle-aged white males – who control what is artistic and what is acceptable. I think if you did a public poll, it would be interesting to see what the public think, whether they would be happy to see older ladies presenting.

You know they say 60 is the new 40 because people are living so much longer, people are working well into their 70s, so why shouldn’t older women be represented? It’s the male gaze. It doesn’t want to see this, they want the pretty young beach babes, their blonde hair, perk bodies, tanned…but it’s very sexist and its very wrong.

What are your aspirations for the future?

I’m hoping to do a Master’s. I’ve got my daughter’s wedding to look forward to, and potentially within the next 10 years I might be a grandma which is quite exciting! But no pressure on my daughters! And then hopefully John will retire, and we’ll have a less stressed and easier life, which is the aim isn’t it? As you wind down to have it a little bit easier. I don’t want to stop working completely, I want to work part time, really just to keep my brain active and going and to give me a project and a focus.

Because I’m really not a stay-at-home person at all, I’ve realised that a lot throughout lockdown. If I hadn’t have had my dissertation to write and my art to make, I think I’d have gone stir crazy! But who knows where we’ll be in 10 years’ time?

Karen Wills, 56 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

It means being confident with who I am. It means not worrying about what I did in the past. It means just being a woman, really. You know, we all age. You can see from my hair that I have it coloured, but I’ve done that for years. I didn’t do it because I was 50, I did it because I like my hair coloured.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

No. It’s a number. It’s just a number. I didn’t really have any qualms about it being ‘50’ – I mean it was a milestone Birthday, of course, but it never worried me.

What are your hobbies and passions?

My career is over, because I’ve had an illness which means I can no longer work, and I’ve sort of got that now. I’m passionate about cooking. I was talking to my daughter the other day and I have 47 cookery books in my kitchen! Which is completely mad. There’s always been a big joke in my family of “oh you should go on Master Chef”, but I couldn’t cope with the stress…I really couldn’t do it. The other thing that I’m passionate about is nature. I’m a guide with a natural mindfulness Facebook group, and I guide walks across the Cotswolds with a mindfulness theme behind it. And that’s lovely. Obviously, we’ve not been able to do that for months now, but it is really good. Another thing I’ve not been able to do for a year which I love – I sing with a choir. We’re an auditioned choir and we have to audition every three or four years to stay in the choir. But it’s just amazing, and I’ve so missed that.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular

become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

In the media, I would say I’d agree. But in general life, I’d say I disagree. There isn’t so much of a stigma about women in the workforce as there was when I started working. I think women in the workforce are very capable and can contribute a lot to the company they work for and society. I think the media is a little bit…you’ve got to look pretty on the face of the TV. Females in the media are portrayed as being really attractive, with perfect hair and lovely clothes. I don’t think that is the same so much in actual business. In business you are regarded more for your knowledge and your experience and your empathy. If I think about my work clothes - I would always wear a really smart suit, have immaculate hair, immaculate make up, really high shoes that I could never walk in. And that was just the persona that you were expected to put across.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

Mid-life I would say no. When I was in my 20s and 30s, yes. I was sexualised in my 20s and 30s. I had to look a particular way, and I did experience a lot of sexual predatory when I was travelling on business. But in my later life, no not at all. Even in my 40s I was so confident because I’d experienced all these problems in my 20s, and you just gain a resilience really.

What do you love?

The bird song.

Julia Hawkes, 59 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I was actually really happy to be 50. I’d had a great year, we did lots of lovely things over the course of the year and being 50 for me just felt very freeing in a way.

Perhaps some of the challenges and difficulties of being younger, having to conform to society’s expectations, I felt as if I shifted some of that off me a little bit in my 50s.

I took a career change when I was 57, so it’s been quite a significant positive decade for me. Now, if you ask me about 60 – that feels different. Old ladies are 60. It’s got a very different feel to it. But this last decade has been a decade of opportunity, and I’ve been able to shrug off some of the things that I no longer wanted to do, change direction. It’s been an energising decade.

I think it also depends a lot on what is going on in your life at that time. If you are in a period of positive change, then I think you’ll view the upcoming decade in a positive way. But if things aren’t going so well, then I guess it probably colours how you feel about being 50 plus.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

I think that pressure on women to look a certain way never goes away. As you get older, grey haired, I think peoples’ perception of you changes in such a way that you then feel a pressure to do something different. I made a decision a long, long time ago now to go grey with good grace, not to feel I had to dye my hair anymore. But I would say that most of my friends of a similar age are still at hair-dying stage, really not comfortable with going grey, being grey. For me, because of the job I do, because I’m stood up at the front, I’ve got wedding couples in front of me, I’m centre stage, all eyes are on me. There are challenges for me around weight gain and therefore things I can wear and feel comfortable in. I haven’t felt I’ve had to fit a stereotype, because I don’t think there are stereotypes of 50-year-olds. I think there are stereotypes of younger women, and therefore 50-year-olds feel that they need to look like some of their younger fellows, perhaps. It’s a deficit model, it’s about what you’ve not got anymore rather than what you’ve got now.

But I think as well, the other side to that, maybe the pressure is worse in your 30s or even 40s, because you’re much closer to the younger, youthful image. Whereas in your 50s, who is it that is putting that pressure on you?

There are no media people out there portraying an image

of what a 50-year-old looks like, and they’re not that bothered about portraying that this 50-year-old doesn’t look like a 20-year-old anymore, they’re much more interested in the 30-year-old that doesn’t look 20. As you slip over that point, maybe 50 onwards, I think society becomes less interested in you. But the positive side to that, the pressure then is off a bit. There’s that lovely poem When I’m Older I Will Wear Purple, and it’s basically saying “sod it, I’m going to do what I like. Nobody cares, I don’t care, I’m going to do whatever I want now”. And that’s the plus side of not being quite so much in the focus as younger women.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I would definitely agree. You know when you get to a certain point as a man you become grey and distinguished, and handsome. There’s a genre of men – Piers Brosnan – who become very eligible, elderly statesmen. Brosnan, Connery, Clooney – they’re all portrayed as sexy, powerful. You don’t see that in contrast. I can’t think of a woman who is portrayed in that same way. Or then you start talking cougars and that negative persona. So yes, I do think it’s true, I do think that there is a degree of invisibility. But why do men get distinguished, and women get drab?

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

I think people who have believed in me. When I say that, certain people come to mind: my mother comes to mind; influential people that I’ve met along the way in my career; there was a headteacher who was a passionate advocate of me moving into teaching, and she supported me and kept in touch for years and years and years.

When I think back to my school days, there were certain teachers even then who believed in me, and when you’ve got people behind you like that it makes such a difference to who you are, and the confidence you feel about life. Being believed in at certain points in my life. When I left my husband of 13 years and moved in with my wife of now 20 years, my family were incredibly supportive.

What do you love?

My wife. My garden. My family.

Shelly Lewis, 50 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I think being in my 50s means less about me and more about my family. It’s about me being able to provide the love and stability for my family as they’re extending. So, even though I’ve had children, my children have started having children, and so it’s knowing what our future as a whole family unit is going to be like and concentrating on that.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

No. I did when I was 40. 40 I was devastated – I cried, I was like ‘how did this happen?’. But I got to 50 and was just, meh, it’s just another number.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

It depends what you mean by invisible; the workplace?

Family life? In general? I can’t comment on the workplace, because I’ve always been a stay-at-home mum, and then I started my own business, so I’ve only ever worked for myself, apart from when I was younger. But I do have friends that would agree. For me, with regards to TV, I think the older I get I change what I watch, I move myself to watch what appeals to me.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

To a degree, yes. There are still lots of 50-year-olds on the TV in lots of film roles, particularly in day-time television.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I just want to be able to see a future where I don’t have

to work so much. I see my job as a step towards retirement. For me it’s never been a ‘I must do this’ or ‘I must do that’, I’m lucky to be able to work for myself and do what I enjoy. And so, it’s really a means to an end, my work doesn’t take a big percentage of what, I feel, life is.

What is it you do for work?

I have an online shop on Etsy and Amazon and Ebay. I create designs for mugs, bags, things like that. I design them and make them. It’s nice to be able to work as and when I want to. I can literally switch the shop off if I don’t want to work, but it’s nice that it’s creative.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

No, and that’s it.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

Probably the women around me, the women in my life.

The younger ones, the older ones and the women the same age as me. Anyone who has been around me and as a woman, I guess I’ve learnt lessons from. And I can see what I want to be like. There are lots of women I look up to and aspire to, and think ‘you know if I could just be like that, that would be perfect for me’. So mainly women.

What do you love?

What do I love? I love my family. I love my life and I love my family, and if it were just us in the whole world, then I would be happy enough.

Paula Willis, 53 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Well…it means getting old, really. It means kids have left home, and in some ways, it means that it’s time to get your life back! You haven’t got people who are demanding all your time. I used to see it as the time between your kids being grown up and perhaps having grandchildren, so it should be a nice thing that you’ve got some time to yourself, but who knows what’s going to happen?

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

Only because it’s a milestone where you’re getting old, and it is just that. All your friends are turning 50 around the same time, so you’re all doing the same thing and so you go through it together. But it’s just...I could die.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I play the clarinet in an orchestra. I exercise as a hobby, but before I was about 45 I did hardly any exercise, so that’s come with getting older. I feel I need to exercise to feel healthy, I don’t want to walk up the stairs and be out of breath. I don’t like going to the gym, but it’s just being outside with people. I like going running with someone or going on bike rides with people. It’s a way of socialising anyway. Reading I like too, table tennis, and I did used to play badminton with the lads at work before COVID-19 hit. Something you do notice as you get older is the need to exercise more, and so all the running, table tennis, badminton, all of that is just a way of making sure I can do the other stuff too. But it’s good if you can try and enjoy it!

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

Not really. Probably because of my profession, where there aren’t many women, there’s definitely no dressing up and there’s not an image related to it. So that helps.

I think if you’re in a female profession, even if you’re a nurse or something, that’s very female dominated, I think it’s probably a lot worse. I don’t think I’ve been pigeon-holed, but I know that the thing that I’m aware of is that as soon as people have got grey hair, they go invisible. So, I dye my hair. And I’ve done it from the very first grey hair that arrived. I just don’t want to be grey.

So, although I don’t think of myself as being a really vain person, I know that I don’t want grey hair. And

one day I might be ready but I’m definitely not ready yet.

I’m a software development manager. I was a computer programmer, but now I manage people. But it means that quite a few of the people I work with vary in age, and so I do feel a bit like their mum, like I’m looking after them. But it isn’t a problem. There’s nothing negative about it. In some ways, probably since turning 40, I became more confident about my job – you know the whole telling people what to do. When people tried to get me to do managerial jobs when I was 30, I just didn’t want to do it because I felt as if I couldn’t be telling people what to do, but as I got older, I felt I could, and it’s a positive thing that they respect an older person, not just for the sake of being older, but because you know more and have more experience.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

Probably. I don’t think it is too bad. As long as you’re looking at people that are doing academic things, its expected that there will be quite a few in the media. I don’t feel desperately under-represented. I do notice if you watch something like a Scandinavian film or series that they have a lot more older women in their stuff, like the Police Chief will be an older woman, and that’s when I realise that we don’t have so much representation in British stuff.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

Everything really. Every step you take gets you to wherever you are in life I suppose. I haven’t got one absolutely defining moment. The example I would probably use I suppose, which has nothing to do with age: but when I was about 14 my Auntie and Uncle split up, and my Auntie was devastated, a completely ruined person because she was so dependent on this bloke. I remember at the time thinking ‘I never want to be dependent on a bloke’ and so that was probably a moment where I thought I need to make sure I go and do things for myself. I think going for a male dominated job might have been deliberate, you know, I knew that male dominated jobs were paid better than female dominated jobs.

What do you love?

Chocolate.

Rosemary Kent, 56 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Getting older, learning and growing. Learning life’s lessons.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

No but it came up really quickly, and you don’t realise. I still remember my 30th Birthday party like it was yesterday. And when people ask how old I am I want to say 30…and then I’m like ‘oh no I’m 56’. The time is going really quick. I’m finding the older you get the quicker time goes. In my head I’m 30, but my body just says no.

When I look in the mirror, I see my mum. When I look at my mum, I see my nan. So, I look at both my daughters and I know they’re going to look like me.

Has your experience of ageing been a positive one?

Yes, because I feel I’ve grown up more – what I know now I wish I knew when I was younger. I feel like I’m too old now to change my life, but age is just a number, isn’t it? I was fit and healthy until lockdown, and with no dancing I’ve just put the weight on, but the goal now is to lose the weight and go to college and get another something under my belt. I’m a qualified massage therapist and I’m actually a cleaner by trade. I’ve paid all this money for all these courses and I just think ‘why am I a cleaner when I love massage?’. Touch is such an important thing for people. And as we’ve been in lockdown, I’ve realised that we’re not getting that touch and the isolation is just not good at all.

Getting older does scare me, I must admit. I’m 56, so I’ve got 10 years left in my career to push forward and do

everything I want to achieve in my life, and for people to be proud of me. I’m dyslexic, and that’s why I’ve gone back to cleaning. I was involved in a car crash too, and after that my doctor told me I should try out yoga. I thought it was a load of bollocks, but I tried it and I loved it. I talk fast, my brain is always speeding up, and with yoga you learn to breathe. My teacher asked me one day if I’d like an Indian Head Massage, and I thought ‘what the hell is that?’ But after experiencing one I knew I wanted to be able to give what I’d received. So, I went to college, and I was about to give it up because I couldn’t say all the muscles, let alone spell them, but the teacher said I was one of the best students in the class. Once I got my diploma…I mean it was one of the biggest achievements for me.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

No. No I wouldn’t say I do. I do know that men as well are trying to remain more youthful than they were. But I just think, why can’t we grow old gracefully?

What do you love?

I love dancing. I love dancing – 1940s, Rock ‘n Roll, Lindy Hop, Jazz-Jive is my favourite. I started going to Salsa lessons and loved it. I’ve not been to a nightclub since I was 17, but I went, 9 o’clock at night, a beginner’s class in Salsa. And I couldn’t get my head around it, but it was amazing, and I now love Salsa. It was a great night out, I felt really youthful again.

Helen Laird, 54 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

It means I’m getting older, and I need to realise that. I don’t like it very much, but there are some benefits. So, whilst I’ve got more aches and pains now and I don’t have the same energy that I had in my 20s, I am more confident. I don’t put up with so much crap anymore, and I just feel more comfortable in my own skin. I suppose if I could some it up; mentally it’s okay, but physically it can be quite daunting. It’s the menopause and things like that, it’s not easy – or it certainly hasn’t been easy for me – it’s leaving me with physical side effects that I’m not enjoying. But mentally, I feel quite capable and like the hard work might be coming to an end. My life is open to new challenges, what do I want to do next? I still feel like I can achieve things, and I’m in a good place to do that. The negative side to that, is that perhaps society doesn’t appreciate that quite as much as it should. You can be written off as a person in your 50s.

I used to read a column in the Times, I don’t know if the lady still does it because I haven’t read the Times in a long while, but this lady used to refer to herself as a plankton. She was saying that’s what it feels like to be a woman in your 50s. I was younger when I was reading this, thinking ‘surely it can’t be like that’, but now that I’m there, I can get where she was coming from. You are often invisible. It’s quite sad really. We’ve got lots to offer, lots of experience. Fortunately, I’ve got lots of friends who are a similar age, and they’re a blessing. So, it is a bit of a mixed bag, but then I guess life is a mixed bag, it’s just how you choose to deal with it.

Finding a job, for example – a few years ago now, I saw recruiters to try and find a job, and I didn’t get anywhere with them. But through my own personal network, I got a job in 3 days and it was quite successful, I got promoted 3 times. So, some of these recruiters are getting it wrong! It’s such a shame that you’re not recognised for who you are, what you are, and what you might bring to the party. Anybody who’s brought up kids I think can do anything. And that’s even if you’ve got regular kids, you know, I’ve got challenging kids and therefore the skills you need to bring them up are very useful skills in general. Being flexible, not knowing what the day is going to throw at you and just having to handle it. Those skills are good things to have.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

I’ve never been a “standard woman”, I’ve always been different in that sense and I know that. When I was a teen, I was a Goth and I used to put sugar in my hair to make it stand up, all this rubbish, and wear black clothes

and my mum was embarrassed to be seen with me! I’ve never really felt the need to fit in. I still don’t. But I think there is pressure to. I think there is pressure in the media, for example, to be young. To be young and skinny. I don’t like that, I think it’s wrong. But it doesn’t particularly concern me on a day-to-day basis, other than the job situation and the plight of other people my age.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I’d be inclined to agree. But then I hesitate and think maybe I need to check my facts. You can see it, you know, the big scandal in recent years about unequal pay.

I mean that says it all recently – who’s valued most. And it’s completely wrong, if you’re doing the same job, you get the same pay, end of.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

We do have some wonderful actresses. Helen McCrory who’s just died, for example, amazing actress and such a tragedy. One of my personal favourites is Emma Thompson. She’s terribly capable, and what a beautiful woman!

We do have some, but whether we have enough I just don’t know. I think perhaps we’re better here in the UK than other countries, but I’m not an expert on World films. We probably could have more representation, but over the last couple of years I think that has changed a little bit in the right direction.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

I’ve had quite a few traumatic events in my life, and they have shaped me. My parents divorced when I was 16, which now is probably 10 a penny, but back then was a big thing. And in fact, there’s a paper written on my mum, because she was one of the first combined anorexia-bulimia cases, when I was a teenager. I was basically her carer, looking after her growing up, and that has been hugely influential on my life. I then had an abusive marriage, which was pretty bad. And I’ve now got two children with learning difficulties which isn’t easy either, so I’ve had quite a lot of trauma and difficult periods which I think have shaped me. They’ve made me quite capable and competent. Strong. But they’ve perhaps made me a little bit insular, because I’ve always had to depend on myself, so I find it very hard to rely on anyone else, which can sometimes be detrimental to me. But overall, I think it has shaped me in a positive way because I am a strong, capable woman, with lots to offer. I’m sure I’m not on my own, I’m sure there are many, many other ladies in a similar position to me.

Penelope Hasler, 53 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

It feels like it should mean a sort of liberation from the work of parenting, though that’s not necessarily going to happen for me. But that’s what I feel it should mean, that phase is over, and I can embark on something new, but I’m still trying to work out how that’s actually going to happen. At the same time, things that used to feel important…well, you know what’s important and what isn’t anymore, and you’ve got a little bit of wisdom there, so you don’t waste your time on things that are a waste of time – and that’s quite liberating actually.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

Not really – I mean what’s been significant for me, actually, is my oldest best friend died and we buried her the day after my 50th Birthday. So actually I keep thinking even if things are grim, it’s better than the alternative.

I’m lucky to be alive. It all feels like a bonus, really. My work’s done, I’ve had children and they’re as independent as maybe they ever will be, and this is extra. And that feels good. So, I do see it through that lens of I’m lucky to get this time.

What are your hobbies and passions?

For this last winter, I’ve been with a friend going swimming in the river every day, which is a real middle-aged woman cliché, but I feel really proud. The lowest temperature it got was 1.5 degrees in the water, and we still got in, maybe only did about 20 strokes and got out again, but that’s been something which has really helped with the whole winter, with lockdown. It’s been an endurance but also something to look forward to. And it was nice to not be in a swimming pool but actually in a river, which is beautiful and you’re part of nature. I’ve also been involved in a community action group which is responsible for environmental stuff. We’ve made a lot of progress with that as a team. It’s nice to be part of a team. We’ve been refurbishing laptops which have been given to kids who can’t access online school, and there’s a market garden where people go and learn to grow vegetables and flowers and things like that.

What are your aspirations for the future?

It’s hard to know where I’m going to be because a lot of it depends on how my son gets on. I have this sort of metaphor in my head: if I’m walking through a wood of life, and I look too far ahead I actually trip up on the roots just in front of me, whereas if I keep looking at the next few days then I can keep going and I don’t fall. So, I actually daren’t look too far ahead. And that’s where I’m at, there’s no master plan. It’s probably good to glance up every once in a while, and make sure you’re heading in

the right sort of direction, isn’t it? Or you get very stooped!

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

The cohort of friends that I’ve had for life has been really important, they’re a very green bunch, and they’ve shaped me. I’ve got a stable family, my parents are still alive in their 80’s and they’re very supportive. I’ve been working from a place of safety most of my life, and that’s made things very easy, it’s a real privilege. I’ve always been very feminist from an early age. I’ve never believed in marriage as an institution. Though I feel a civil partnership would be okay, I wouldn’t ever want to go into a marriage because of all the history around it of it being a property transaction and women somehow being the inferior part of that partnership. I knew from an early age that wasn’t for me. And also, I wouldn’t want to have children within a marriage because then someone might be able to take them away, and that, for me, would be very disempowering. Even though there’s social stigma against not being married, or there was much more 25 years ago when I was pregnant with my first child, it was never something I wanted to buy into to please other people.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

Not really. Though there are some characters in fiction I feel I can relate to, not really in their 5os, maybe people I might have related to in my 30s or 40s. You know, they’re either old ladies or younger women, but very few middle-aged women. The middle-aged women actually tend to be more on radio, I’m thinking. I can’t think of a film about a woman in her fifties that’s the main character. Whereas with radio I think there’s been a bit more headway made because it’s not visual.

Women do become more invisible with age and also, it’s not just about age, but about conventional standards of beauty as well. If you are not ‘beautiful’ you are not represented in the media, regardless of age.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

No because I’m not really part of mainstream society and never really have been. So, I’ve always been drawn to fields where women aren’t in traditional roles so much.

I’ve worked as an archaeologist in my early career and no-one’s hair looked good, people were out in the mud, and that was a relief and people were taken at face value. We weren’t in gendered roles.

Angela Findley, 60 What did being in your 50s mean to you?

Possibly the only thing that did occur to me, is that there wouldn’t be any more kids - you’ve gone past that age where you’re a young mother with young kids. You’re then going into the next level, and obviously that’s a bit sad. And yes, I guess I’d have liked to have still looked about 30! We all like to think we look young, but the ageing starts in your 50s I think.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

Not greatly, no. I was hurtling through life at that point, I just keep going and every day I just look at it as a new day – keep going forward and try and enjoy it as much as you can. You don’t enjoy every day, but you can try.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached mid-life?

No, I don’t think I did. I’ve long had bosses who are younger than me. I’m not a very driven person, I’m happy to do my work and do it well, but I’ve often had bosses that were considerably younger than me and needed TLC shall we say…and I’m okay with that. I’m okay with working for younger people, I don’t feel that’s a problem for me.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I do love gardening, and I love fitness and being out and about. I like socialising, which has been a bit of a nightmare recently…actually I’ve felt older in the last year than I did turning 50. It’s the fact that you can’t go to the theatre, or go out with people, or go out to the pub or anything like that – that, I think, is more “ageing” than

anything.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I’d disagree actually. I know a lot of people who are doing amazing things in their 50s – some are changing careers, having thrown off the children shall we say, they’ve got to that point in their lives where they can do what they want to do. I know people that have taken up all sorts of sports. I think there is a problem if you’ve got ill health.

Do you feel represented by the media as a woman in your 50s?

When it comes to “serious” media like the News and that sort of thing, there’s a fair number of women of a certain age that are still presenting it. I think there is an issue when it comes to films – it’s always the young, sexy woman. I think there have been 1 or 2 exceptions where they’ve let the older woman be the sexy one, but on the whole there’s a bit of a glass ceiling. We were watching 24 Hours in A&E last week, and on there, there was a lady who had already been married once, and then she married again but to a chap who was about 20 years younger – and she was having to justify herself. And that, to me, is so wrong because she can marry whoever she wants.

And if it was the other way around nobody would bat an eyelid!

What do you love?

My family. And chocolate…and wine! No, family first.

Cécile Roueche-Bell, 53 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I’m still getting used to the idea. I don’t like it. I don’t like it because as you say, you don’t exist. I feel like men’s attitude is simply you’re at the end of your life. Even some very optimistic people say it’s a “new start”. I haven’t reached that point yet. I’m a bit angry – I don’t like that society doesn’t help very much. If I were to look for a job, I don’t think anyone would employ me. Society needs to change, and I think it can only change if men are willing to change their habits and ways of thinking. I think you can see it in male politicians.

I think menopause should be talked about to young people. Men, young girls and young boys should talk about it. Their parents will go through it, and yet they have not got a clue what it is. Some fly through it, and for others it can be a real struggle. The pressure for women at work in their 50s, of losing their job, they’re not given a chance to cope. The prejudice is awful. I haven’t spoken to my French friends about it, so I’m not sure if it’s just a British thing to be really reserved and not talk about the menopause, or if it is just something we don’t talk about? You can’t complain, you have to just carry on. And that’s not fair. My mum never talked about it. She didn’t want to, and that was it. I’ve tried to talk about it, without giving the impression I’m complaining about it. It’s important to talk about it, and the symptoms: the tiredness, the forgetfulness – is it just the menopause or do you have cancer? You don’t know if you don’t talk about it.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

I think no. But when the menopause started, which was just before I was 50, it really put me down. I didn’t want to celebrate my 50s, but thankfully a friend of mine organised something and it was really nice. But I wasn’t in the state of mind to celebrate, I had started the menopause and I felt really forgetful and tired. It was like my brain had stopped working and I found it really difficult.

I don’t know if it was “50” or the menopause…I think it was less the number and more the experience. If I could pick the best years of your life, I’d say it’s your 30s.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I like to read. I like upholstery – I’ve done a few chairs and that’s something I really love to do and wish I discovered before in my life. As a student I would have loved to do that. Restoration of furniture. I find it really interesting, all the history behind it and giving something a new life.

I’m a private French tutor. I do it mainly on Zoom now!

But it’s fine and it’s working well. Really, my work has increased since COVID, because you can’t go anywhere, and people like it on Zoom because there’s nothing else to do! Most of my students are over 70, so it’s mostly people who would like to carry on French conversation.

It’s nice and interesting and I enjoy it very much. I’ve been doing it for 6 or 7 years now.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I would completely agree. I mean look at the actresses.

I remember reading an article about French actresses, and when they reach 30, they are invisible. And yet men still have roles up to their 50s and even beyond. But older women roles are suddenly played by younger women.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

I can’t think of any actresses in their 50s off the top of my head. Reporting the news as well – you have men in their 50s, but I can’t think of a woman with grey hair, for example. The only show I can think of is Bake Off! So, it’s fine to be an old lady cooking, but it’s not fine to be in your 50s and doing the news. Cooking, cakes…that’s lovely. But presenting the news? That’s not credible. And I think the frustrating thing is that men are so unaware.

But they get so defensive so quickly, and it’s nothing to do with their masculinity, they don’t need to feel threatened, you know? We need to educate girls and boys from a young age, and mothers should talk to their boys.

What are your aspirations for the future?

If all is well, I’d like to be able to travel between France and the UK, if it’s possible. Of course, with not being in Europe anymore that might mean a lot more difficulties, but before Brexit, the idea was to be to share my time between France and the UK, continuing my lessons through Zoom, but to be in one place or the other. But with what’s happening at the moment and the uncertainties, I’m not sure what’s going to happen. But that would be the ideal in 10 years’ time.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

Moving country definitely changed a lot. Leaving my country behind, my family behind and having to carry on – that has really shaped me.

Jenifer Kiely-Smith, 52 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Being in my 50s is fantastic because I feel more confident now than I have done for the majority of my life. And I think 50 is young now compared to what it used to be when maybe my parents were 50. And really, for me, my life took an upwards turn 6 years ago, so when I was 46 and life’s just got better and better as I’ve got older.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

Yes. But I’m in business and I don’t think it matters how old you are in business, because you’re treated so differently, and I’ve experienced that first-hand. But I think things are getting more positive for women. We have wonderful examples like Helen Mirren. I know she’s not in her 50s but she is just fantastic, and I look at her and just think ‘you’re such a wonderful example of an amazing woman’. So, I think it’s only getting better for people, and I hope that by the time my daughter, who’s 19, is in her 50s, the world is even better and way more accepting of women getting older – and not becoming invisible as they get to 50.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

Oh agree, 100%. We do, we get more and more invisible.

And I also think as a strong businesswoman, men are either intimidated by it or they don’t like it, or they feel threatened by it, or they can’t take you seriously. Whereas other women - we just build each other up. Thank god for other women. I love women – they’re amazing.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I’m a dog walker, I’ve been doing that for 6 years. Almost 2 years ago I had the opportunity to buy a piece of land

which I turned into a secure dog park by fencing it securely and adding lots of things – picnic benches, eco-friendly poo tanks, we’ve dug a pond as a watering hole for the dogs. It’s a doggy paradise. We’ve got wooded areas and when you get to the top of the park there’s beautiful views. I’ve put in tyre swings for the kids. That is absolutely my passion, I love it. I use it myself for my dog-walking business, but I also rent it out to members of the public. It’s blown me away how successful it’s been and how popular it’s been. And that makes me so happy that I am giving something that people are really loving.

I’ve recently got into DIY – I love it. I’m quite creative, so I’ve started knitting too, I’ve started painting. I just love being creative.

What are your aspirations for the future?

Wow. In 10 years, I would like to be: not working, I would like to be still running both of my businesses, and still enjoying the field which is just up the road. I would like to take all the hard work away that I’ve put in – I’ve worked since I was 13 years old – and I would really like to be able to actually enjoy the fruits of what I’ve done.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

I like to take a positive from every negative, and whenever something has knocked me back or whenever there has been an issue or a problem I like to think ‘right, what has this taught me?’, ‘what am I learning from this?’, because I honestly feel that everything that gets thrown in your way is a lesson. And I try to learn from that and just try and live my life as peacefully and happily as I can.

And not sweat the small stuff – or the big stuff even, if possible!

Catherine Ryan, 53 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I was actually less bothered about being in my 50s than I was when I was younger. I remember my 29th Birthday and just not wanting to be 30…but I’ve just embraced it, because the alternative is: you’re not here. So, to just embrace that. I had a massive party for my 50th Birthday, fancy dress. My life changed quite a lot in my 50s, I got divorced, so you know, I’ve had some ups and I’ve had some downs. But it is what it is. It doesn’t bother me.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

The only thing that sometimes makes me take a breath is just knowing that time is going by so quickly. It’s thinking ‘oh gosh, where have the last 10 years gone?’. In another 10 years I’m going to be 63. And that…it makes me want to grab it and not let it get away, time just goes so quickly. It’s quite scary knowing that you’re potentially well over half of your life. But again, it’s just about going with it. In my 40s I had a relatively happy and easy-going life, and then all of a sudden that changed. I guess it’s just knowing that you’ve got less and less time, and you do start to feel a little more invisible as you age. But I’m definitely not bothered by my age. I’m actually quite proud to say, ‘I’m 53 you know!’. When you’re younger you often want to be older, and once you get older you reach that point where you want to say you’re younger, but I’m proud of my age. What’s wrong with being 53?

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

From a media point of view, I really don’t know, I don’t follow media, I don’t follow celebrities or anything, it’s not really my thing. This thing about having to be perfect – why? During the first lockdown I let my hair grow and I couldn’t have it coloured, and I embraced my grey for, what, 10 months? It was really grey, and I was embracing it, but I got a really negative response. My partner didn’t like it, and that knocks your confidence a little bit. So, I did actually get it coloured again afterwards and I do feel better about it. But part of me is annoyed because I think ‘why should I conform to stereotypes?’ Why do people think that silver hair looks awful on women? My partner has grey hair, and it looks good on him so why not on me? But at the end of the day, it was my decision. A part

of me thought when I did have it coloured ‘I hope my partner doesn’t think I’ve done it for him, because I bloody well haven’t’. I did it for me. But when people say negative things, it does have an impact on you. And whilst you shouldn’t care what people think, I do.

What are your aspirations for the future?

Do you know what? I don’t know. I never would have guessed 5 years ago that we’d be in this situation now.

I try not to think about it, I just want to try and live for the moment, which isn’t always easy because I like to know what’s going to happen in the future, I like to know certain things, but maybe not too far in advance. I’d like to think in 10 years’ time I’m in a happy, loving relationship, living with somebody, having somebody there.

The most important thing is happiness and my health.

Definitely. The thing that worries me more than anything is health because that is out of your control sometimes. A close friend of mine, same age as me, got breast cancer, and you know that really floored me because she is the healthiest person I know. She’s active, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke. It just really makes you think, it was such a shock, I didn’t see it coming. I just hope and pray that I don’t develop any serious illness. I worry about dementia because it’s in my Dad’s side of the family for the females, but I try not to dwell on it. I just try to take care of myself as best I can.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

I suppose your family, your parents. Circumstance. I’ve had a very fortunate upbringing. My life has always been like that. The most turbulent my life has been, has been in my 50s – and not in a particularly good way. But I’m not blaming that on the fact I’m in my 50s, these things just happen. Getting a divorce after being together 27 years…starting again when you’re 49 is a big shock. It still is. But I’ve still got a very good relationship with my ex, we’re still close and it was all very amicable, but sometimes I just think ‘how the hell did I get here?’. So, I think with a lot of things it’s experience that has shaped me. As you get older, you come to realise that the things you worry about in your 20s are less important.

Rachel Hunter, 53 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I think I’m just relieved to be here. A lot of people don’t make it into their 50s.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

No, not at all. We’ve got friends that didn’t make it to 50; our boy’s godfather didn’t make it to 50, and before he died, he said he wouldn’t make it to that milestone, and it makes me really mad when people say they’re fed up with being 50.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I’ve been with my husband for nearly 30 years, and we’ve got a motorhome and we absolutely love it. Just sitting in a field somewhere, or going to a campsite, it’s just a sense of freedom. We’ve been to the south of France in it, and we just can’t wait to get back out and do that when things open up again.

So interestingly, approaching 50 I decided to start a totally different career. I’ve got a background in nursing, and I’ve done various other things from teaching aerobics to being a pharmaceutical rep, but I really wanted to start a new career at this time in my life. One of my boys has left home, one is at University and I really wanted to use that time, so I totally retrained and I’m now a professional counsellor. I chose a course that was accredited by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, which is one of the main ethical bodies for counselling.

I’ve done 3 and a half years of training and I’ve now set up my own online Zoom practice. It’s going well and I’m almost at capacity already. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind starting a new career and setting up a new practice, but it’s amazing seeing people healing and growing and developing personally.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

Not really because I’m refusing to age at the moment, and I’ll probably still be saying that when I’m 80. However, sometimes I’ll look at photographs, and you can see that you’ve aged, so there is that. But that’s not really helped by a lot of celebrities having plastic surgery. I do think that does put a certain pressure on, because your

peer group on television is looking younger, when you are looking older.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I think it depends on your personality. You hear me coming before you see me, and I think I’ll always be that till the day I die. So less so for me, because I am quite loud, but I do think if you’re a quieter person then yes, I do hear friends say that quite a lot.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

There are quite a few women that are a little bit older, more so than about 10 years ago. Especially in the morning programmes – Lorraine Kelly is a prime example. Although she did lose a lot of weight and changed her image quite drastically when she reached about 60, I think, and that quite probably was to do with the pressure that she was feeling. So, I think it is changing, but probably there aren’t enough women, in comparison to men anyway.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

There is so much. I think spiritually – I’m a Christian – so that has had a huge bearing on my life. Our eldest son almost died in 2015; he collapsed and was on a life support machine and we didn’t think he was going to survive. He did make a miraculous recovery and ended up getting a first in his University degree which is amazing. I definitely think I’ve changed a lot since then. I had a fairy-tale meeting with my husband – I gate crashed his 30th Birthday party and he spoke to me for 5 minutes. We have a photograph of this meeting and a video of this meeting, and we were living 100 miles apart and when he watched the video back, he just felt he had to find out who I was.

Our life hasn’t been a fairy-tale though, we have been through our own trials and tribulations – particularly with what happened to our son – but I think the fact we’re best friends and we love this motorhome life really helps.

I feel hugely, hugely lucky to have met him. Probably he is the biggest part of who I am and who I have become in my 50s.

Sue Prodger, 57 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I was dreading being 50. I always thought: 40s that’s young I can still do stuff, but 50 seemed to be old. But now I am in my 50s there’s no change, there’s no difference at all.

That would of course mean working less, or not working at all in order to be able to travel, because at the moment I’m confined to school holidays. And of course – to have grandchildren. To have my own little Prodgers class of my own.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

I think so because there’s plenty of women out there being interviewed, just thinking of actresses too, and news readers. And the magazines that I buy there’s always middle-aged and older women in them, so yes, I think so.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

My Mum and Dad definitely, and who and what they were. That’s definitely shaped me and taught me so much about what’s important in life. Also, my girls, they’ve shaped me immensely. I’m hugely proud of both of them and what they’ve done, and I’ve always encouraged them to follow their dreams and passions. I always wanted to go into teaching, but I can remember Dad sitting round the lunch table one Sunday saying, “well if you go to Uni Sue, we won’t be able to have any more holidays”, and that was it. I just didn’t pursue it any more after that. I could have done later in life, but by then I had already got into schools and was working as a TA, so I am fulfilled in that way. But it’s funny because my head teacher told me just yesterday “you should have been a teacher Sue, you really should”.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I absolutely love floristry, flowers. It goes back to when I was 13 years old, and I used to help out in my Aunty’s floristry shop and it’s something that I’ve just continued with. I’m never happier than when I’m around flowers.

In my career, it’s working with young children. I tend to have an affinity to children with special needs. My previous job I worked a lot with children with special needs and now every year group we have more and more children with needs. But yes, I love working with the young ones, they keep me on my toes – never a dull moment.

What are your aspirations for the future?

I think this lockdown has taught me a lot. It has taught me how precious time is, and time has been given as a gift almost to me, because I’ve only been working 2 or 3 days a week, and so that has freed up a lot of time for me to do stuff I want to do. But also made me think, here I am now 57 almost 58, there’s places I want to go to, travel to, and see. And I really want to do more of that.

Experiences through your life shape you too. I’ve had massive things that have happened in my life that have affected who I am now. I’ve had counselling, and without this counsellor, I probably wouldn’t be here to be honest with you. She was amazing. And I think as you pass through life you meet a few special people on that journey, and they stay with you. Even if you don’t see them, they stay with you forever.

Debbi Kelly, 50 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I think I can get away with stuff and say, ‘it’s okay I’m 50’.

I don’t feel like I need to fit in with anything, I don’t feel I should conform anymore. When I was younger, I thought 50 was ancient, because you do, you get this thing in your mind that when you’re 50 you’re going to be really old and wear old people’s clothes and stuff like that. But now I’m here I’m not conforming to any of that. I don’t feel old. I’ve got anxiety and PTSD, but I actually feel a lot more confident – probably after therapy – but I feel a lot more confident in my body. I don’t care if I’ve got fat here or saggy bits there. It is what it is. I don’t do dieting – I eat sensibly, but I don’t stop myself from eating anything, I don’t disallow anything. Too many people spend so many of their years trying to be the right shape, trying to conform to what the magazines say you should look like. I don’t really read magazines, but even on social media, you might see “Oh look at Liz Hurley, she’s just turned 50 and doesn’t she have an amazing body” – that’s even giving more pressure, I think. The media puts a lot of pressure on women to look a certain way, and it’s crap. I worked in the fashion industry for years, but I’m just happy in jeans and a t-shirt.

You just have to embrace age, there’s nothing you can do about it is there? And actually, I’d rather be the age I am now than be in my 20s. I’ve been through all the crap, the failed marriage, the shitty jobs. When I had surgery 4 years ago, I nearly died. Well, I would have died if I hadn’t have had surgery. So that’s why now I just embrace what I have in life.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I think so, yeah. Everyone embraces your teenage years and your 20s. But supposedly when you get to 50, everything should be settled – you should be settled in a marriage, with kids, in your own house. And in reality, it’s not like that at all. And the media tends to forget that – but you know what the media is like, they just want some bloody drama. I do think that they think as a woman of a certain age, you should just be. Does that make sense?

Be and not do. How very dare you want to live a life! I actually started training just before lockdown, training to be a peer mentor at an alcohol recovery centre. I was an accountant, I mean I can’t really work anymore because of illness and what have you, but I wouldn’t want to work in an office again ever. It’s soulless. I want to help people.

And I think a lot of people are actually retraining now as they’re getting older, it’s almost like we’re standing up and saying “no, I won’t be the quiet little housewife”.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

To be honest I don’t really read magazines or newspapers. I think a lot of it is just sensationalism. I don’t do Twitter because I don’t really get it, I’m on and off Facebook, and I don’t really watch a great deal of telly.

So, with regards to representation, I don’t really know because I don’t watch enough of it to have an opinion.

I just think that newspapers are crap, and they sell on peoples’ misfortunes. I try not to get too involved with it because I think it’s full of misery. How nice would it be to open a newspaper and read some good news?

What are your hobbies and passions?

Well, I don’t work, because I can’t work, but I’ll be training when I can. My passion is really to help people.

Just through the experiences I’ve had, I’ve had a lot of therapy, and so I want to be able to give something back.

I love nature too. Hobbies – stuff that doesn’t really cost anything. I’m on benefits, so I can’t really afford that much. Buying the odd plants and seeing them grow.

Since I’ve stopped drinking, I see beauty in stuff. People might think that’s a bit weird, but if I see a bee, a butterfly, the leaves on the trees…when I was drinking, I was so out of it I wouldn’t notice anything. I couldn’t even remember if I’d had dinner the night before. I’ve said to my partner, if we move to London, I don’t care where we live as long as we have a little garden. Even if it’s just a tiny courtyard.

I just like to help people. And I try to turn negativity into positivity. I try to use experiences I’ve had when I was younger and turn them round into a positive.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

Personal experiences. My mum died when I was younger, so I had to grow up pretty bloody quickly. I was abused by my father and my brother, and that has made me a stronger person. I had to grow up and deal with it. I’ve had a lot of therapy. But instead of feeling sorry for myself, it’s made me a lot stronger, and it’s made me want to be there for people that have been through it. I’ve been signed off from therapy today because I’m feeling so good! I’ve had 3 weeks now with no dark thoughts or anything like that, and it’s the best I’ve felt for years and years and years.

What do you love?

Peace.

Bev Tustin, 51 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Acting irresponsibly.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

Only if I could get into the dress for the party – and if any guests were going to turn up! Actually becoming 50 itself? No, none at all.

Is your experience of ageing a positive one?

Yeah, I feel I am more confident, and I look better now than I did in my 20s. I did not like turning 30, that was a big, big transition, from 29 to 30.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I’d probably be half and half, because I think some women would just be embracing it, putting themselves out there and think they’re going to make a stand, and others would shy away as their body changes and their face changes. When you wear makeup and it settles in the lines, I think that’s when women especially shy back a little bit rather than being true to themselves and embracing their beauty.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

No. No, I think there are so many beautiful women of 50, 60, 70 – and they’re just overlooked for the younger girls. And we’ve got a lot to offer, we’ve got a lot of life experience. We pander to the men’s vanity more so than being realistic.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

I work with a team of girls that age from 18 to 30, and they’re all very beautiful, Botoxed and all that sort of thing. I was feeling a little bit left out, so I thought I’d get my eyebrows and lips tattooed, and actually it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. But, if I wasn’t working in that environment, within the beauty industry, I don’t think I would have done it.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I’m a beauty therapist and masseuse, and I absolutely love what I do, so that’s where my happy place is. Socialising with my friends is a big thing for me, I like to go out, I like to be centre of attention if I’m going to be honest here! If I walk into a room, I like people to think “Oh, Bev’s arrived!”. So, there’s that. Socialising with friends and spending time with my family is important. And I love gin!

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

I think things that have happened within my childhood have made me a strong, very strong woman. My personal life as a child wasn’t happy, so moving forward I vowed that my kids would never feel the way I did, and I’m going to be a person that they can come to with anything and everything and feel safe. And that’s what I’ve done, I hope.

Sally Hutchinson, 55 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Middle age! But in a good way, in a good way! Better than being in my 40s. I don’t know, I just had a thing about turning 40 – it was upsetting. But turning 50 just didn’t bother me, I just had an acceptance of it, I can’t explain.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

No. No, I haven’t. I’m just who I am and that’s it. I never follow fashion. I literally never follow fashion – I wear what I want and if I like it that’s it.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I think they do, yes. You definitely see more men in their middle-age and older on the TV in main positions, than you do women.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

No, not really. No, you don’t see middle aged women in magazines in the same way, you don’t. Even with face creams – you usually have younger women advertising them, and you think, well why?

What are your hobbies and passions?

Work – I don’t have any. I don’t regret stopping work when I was in my late 30s. I haven’t worked since having Will when I was 37 or whatever. I don’t have any regrets for stopping that for family life. I enjoy, now, doing all my sporty stuff, well, gym stuff. I feel fitter physically than I‘ve ever felt in my life, ever. I like spending time doing creative things now that I couldn’t do before because of pursuing veterinary, because there was no time to do anything like that then. Some people would have found time to do both, and I know people that did, but I never managed to. I like knitting, sewing, nothing that I’m par-

ticularly any good at, but I just enjoy doing it for the relaxation and the fun of it. I like being out in the fresh air, walking the dogs, that’s about it really.

What are your aspirations for the future?

I hope to stay fit, because that makes me feel mentally much happier. And I kind of hope I’m doing similar to what I’m doing now. I’d be quite happy if I was in a similar situation, just dossing about really! I’ve got the life of Riley really, I fully appreciate that. I’m very lucky that I don’t have to work, very fortunate, so in 10 years I hope it’s much the same. I’d like to spend more time in Scotland, even if it’s not living up there fully, but just a few more times throughout the year.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

It would have to be having children, definitely. That has shaped me more than anything. Having children and just enjoying seeing what they’re all up to – that has been a real thing for me. It’s made me feel less like I want to do stuff, I’m just interested now in what they’re up to and interested in. Also, the fact that my mum suffered so much in recent years – seeing how inactive she became following an ankle injury at an age a few years younger than I am now, and how her health really plummeted. I feel if she had kept stronger in her physical body it would have helped and so that’s why I am hell-bent on staying as fit and healthy as I can, so that if I suffer a similar debility, I want to think I have a good start on the road to recovery – by being more mentally and physically engaged to begin with. Once you become inactive, it’s a vicious cycle.

What do you love?

That’s a difficult one, really... I do love wine! And I love being able to just relax and be in nice company. Even if it sounds corny, I love the family. And I’m so glad I’ve had a big family, being an only child. It’s such a lovely feeling having everybody together.

Lenore Churchman Davies, 57 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Well, bugger all I’m carrying on.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

Oh, I don’t know about worries and anxieties, but I mean I was definitely conscious of it. I think since I was soon to turn 40 I started doing this ridiculous thing: I already think of myself as 40 at 38 so whenever this nought Birthday comes it’s not a tragedy, or it’s not unlooked for, I’ve already been thinking of it. I think it always depends any case on where you are in your life, you know, I’m married still, and have my sons. So, you’re going along as, I don’t know, as one is genetically made to go. So yeah, I feel pretty good. Still making money, still in a job.

What are your hobbies and passions?

Well, I like vintage clothes, a lot. And I tend to alter things and I have things from a very long time ago because, of course, I was around a very long time ago! So, I’m quite interested in that, a bit of a vanity project no doubt.

Of course, it’s a shame, I can’t wear any of it now…no ball gowns or anything sadly. But passions in terms of work? Oh god, I don’t know, I go up and down with it.

I do mostly editorial work, I’m freelance so sometimes I’m hired by companies who make bids usually to some government or other and then I often reorganise things, rather than re-writing, so to speak.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

I don’t think so. I’m sure people do stereotype me. I seem to have become like my mother and my great grandmother who were great chatterers – they would always start talking to someone in the queue at the post office or whatever, and I find I do this thing as well. So maybe people do just see me as an old, small biddy or something. I don’t know, because I don’t feel like it particularly. I know so many people who are slightly younger or slightly older than me from ante natal times, and we knew one another when we were young, having babies and so on, but I don’t think so, no. I can remember when I was a young girl, yes, these chaps would drop poems in a fucking restaurant booth when you were out with your sisters or something, well these were the sorts of boys I seemed to attract anyhow. But I don’t know if I’ve ever been whistled at – maybe that’s just me? But definitely I

remember a lot of chaps about, but that was at a certain age. I don’t think people simply look past me, I still talk to all my friends’ partners and we have good conversations.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

I don’t have a telly, so I don’t notice these things anymore, but it seems to me that there are a lot of women around my age…I remember reading an Agatha Christie novel donkeys years ago though, and it’s one where there’s two ladies and one of them drowns the other to get her fortune. And no one notices because “all ladies of a certain age look the same”, or rather, they are overlooked in the same way. And I’m not sure if that was Agatha Christie’s view, but it was certainly something that she put in because she thought people would think was the case, which is pretty grim. But I don’t know, I guess it depends on how much you think blokes are just looking for beauty, which of course they are. Youth is smashing, I mean it’s wasted on the youth as they say! But I mean is it that? Is it just that you’re not young and beautiful?

But how do I feel about age? I mean, yes, I hate the wrinkles on my eyes, I knew I was going to have terrible eyes because all my family, my mother and my auntie have this Celtic skin and terrible lines around the eyes. And the sunspots. And the varicose veins. But yes, all these things are irritating but I knew about the veins when I was a girl because my mother had these terrible ones…so it’s a family thing. Everything is a family thing! One thing that does bother me – I fret a lot if I’m going out to a party or something and I do feel a pressure to try and cover up the redness around my nose or whatever, something I never used to. And also, I have white eyebrow hairs, and because my eyebrows are generally not white, I feel a desire to cover it up. But I’m sure that is just the water we swim in at the moment.

I worry a bit more now, and I think well what the hell? It’s very silly, very vain. But it’s not so much ‘do I look great?

Am I going to rock it with some chaps?’ it’s more, ‘do I look alright?’. Or more, ‘do I just look like a complete old hag?’. I can’t really tell anymore, I can’t really judge it. It’s very strange. But I think it’s worse if you try and be too artificial.

Kate Laybourne, 56 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I think initially it was quite a shock, and I think it’s built up too much in terms of what the expectation is – things will change. But in fact, it’s been fine. It’s meant more time for myself because I’m not looking after kids in the same way, but there were some thoughts around ‘am I still needed?’ and ‘what is my function?’ and I think that was quite a big thing. But it’s been okay, I’ve just gone with the flow.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I suppose within work I enjoy my role because I’ve changed within my 50s, so I have actually taken on a supervisory role which I didn’t think I would. So that’s a really, really positive thing I think that’s happened post-fifty. I’m passionate about my team, my team are in the main menopausal women and they are awesome.

And I’m very passionate about them and very supportive of them. I’m happy where I am now in my career, so I think I’m happy to stay at this sort of level. With personal life, I’m passionate about making sure that my girls are okay and making sure my family is okay. In different times I would be getting out there and doing lots of walking, visiting different places, taking the dog out etc.

What are your aspirations for the future?

That’s a difficult one. Good health would be one thing – maintaining health and not losing too much to the loss of oestrogen through menopause. And yeah, maintaining a good level of fitness and a good level of personal health.

I think planning towards a decent retirement, even though that’s right at the top of 10 years from now that’s still there as well. Do more travelling too, yeah.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

I think that in terms of dressing to go out and things like that, I’m definitely aware of the fact that perhaps I am wearing things that I wouldn’t have wanted to wear in my 20s or 30s. So, I think I’ve changed how I dress, but no, I don’t pigeonhole myself in terms of what I should or shouldn’t do. But I’m trying to think if anyone has pigeon-holed me in terms of what I can or can’t manage… but I don’t think so. I think maybe my girls’ generation, people may think a little bit perhaps but I think that may come down to the parental role rather than my age.

So as a parent ‘that’s what you should be doing’ if that makes sense?

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree

or disagree?

I don’t feel that within my role and where I stand workwise that there’s any real pigeon-holing at all. I think that women in their 50s face many changes and challenges that contribute to potential ‘invisibility’. I don’t feel invisible all the time, per se, but life tends to pop something in the way and women do tend to prioritise these things over themselves – I’m thinking needs of older children, ageing parents or grandkids. This is a generalisation, but I see this in the women I know well and definitely in myself. Having kids gives a clear expectation of role and responsibility, rightly or wrongly, and it’s maybe more of a natural expectation to continue with this. For me, facing not having the girls at home was an emotional challenge - empty nest and all that. It took a kick up the butt, from myself, to stop wallowing and enjoy the change. Being a single parent brings it’s own issues and adds to the feelings too.

It’s also a bit of a shock when you hit menopause, you don’t expect to feel quite so angry or sad and to have such physical changes that you have no control over, unless you grab HRT! I’m facing weird changes in my body that I don’t want, I want invincible not invisible!

Being around young women sometimes makes me feel invisible. Young women glow, my girls are stunning! I’m in awe of their beauty and intelligence and their youth.

How can I not feel different to them? But I don’t envy the younger generation and some of the pressures and expectations there. The positives of my age are that you are in a wonderful club of amazing women who bond with you in your sweaty, cranky phases and empathise with you as you forget someone’s name. Maybe that’s the plus side, you have no oestrogen and a load of physical and mental changes, but here’s a whole bunch of girls who will laugh alongside you and be there for you, so you don’t fall.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

I think previous relationships have definitely shaped who I am and how I am now, and ultimately the fact that I am single. And how I want to be – independent. I don’t want anybody telling me how to think, what to do, or anything else. If I want to sit there in my slobbies and do nothing, then that’s my choice. If I want to paint a wall a particular colour then I do it, and nobody tells me I can’t. And those sorts of things have absolutely made me braver in what I can do – I think I’m braver without anybody hanging on.

And I don’t have to pick up anybody’s socks as well which is good!

Sarah Doel, 55 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

It means you need to crack on and do lots of things, you know, achieve those goals, realise those dreams – just do it.

If I’m in a waiting room somewhere I’ll pick one up and have a flick through, but I’m well known for this; if someone mentions a celebrity, I’m often asking ‘who are they?’.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

No, I’m far too shallow, I just thought about all the extra presents I’d get! No, none at all.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

Yeah, I think people around me have done, certainly professionally. There was one person in particular, another emergency nurse practitioner, who had a really big positive impact on me. She became my role model, I just used to look at her at work, everything she knew, the way she was with patients, and just knew that’s what I wanted to be too. Also, when you hear bits and pieces on the news, like Bonita Norris who climbed Everest, you read these stories about people and you just think ‘yeah, you go girl!’, and if one person can do it anyone can do it, within reason of course.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I’m a nurse, I specialise in minor injury and accidents. I love that. I’m also a Reflexologist, I actually started a new business this week. Because of lockdown, my regular work dropped because they closed quite a few units, and so I ended up not working an awful lot. So, I actually trained as a life coach and an NLP Practitioner and I’m just in the process of qualifying at the moment. It’s been really empowering for me, but also to see the positive result on the people that I’ve coached – I love it when they have that light bulb moment, when they’ve been stuck in a stage, but with a bit of life coaching they have a new perspective and can take new steps forward. It’s lovely to see. I’m passionate about empowering people, helping them to achieve and move forward.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I think they often do, yeah, from what I see and hear.

It seems to be different with men, but I’ve heard a lot of women say, “I feel invisible now that I’ve got to a certain age, I just feel nobody sees me anymore, nobody listens”.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

That’s a slightly tricky one because I don’t really watch TV, hardly ever. I very rarely watch the news, I just get a few updates, so I’m really rubbish when it comes to things like that. I love films, and I’m not anti-TV, I just don’t really watch it. And I don’t tend to buy magazines.

What are your aspirations for the future?

I want to be active. I used to do gymnastics as a child, and I was quite good at it – so I want to do that again. I took it up again when I was 50, so I want to keep that up, the physical strength. Obviously, my work is part of who I am, so that’s important to me, and the feeling that I’m really empowering people. I did a big trip to New Zealand in 2018, we were gone for a month actually, we went round in a campervan. I’ve never done anything big like that before, and it was quite life changing because it really gave me time to think and prioritise things in my life – what I was doing, where I was at and where I wanted to be. I’ve got a thing about Kilimanjaro as well – I’ve not been able to do the fundraising yet because of COVID, but I’d really like to climb Kili and raise some money at the same time.

What do you love?

Food. Oh no! I think it would have been nice to respond with something a little bit deeper, wouldn’t it? But yeah, food.

Trish White, 51 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I was concerned as I was coming up to reaching 50. Then I turned that completely on its head and I thought ‘what do I want to do when I’m 50?’. So, I made a list of all the things I wanted to do – almost like a bucket list – one of my first things was to go to New York as I had always wanted to do that. So, I went and had an absolute blast.

I did an open-door helicopter trip over Manhattan and it was absolutely amazing, and I thought ‘Yes, now this is all about being 50’. Life begins at 50 as well. Mentally, it’s been positive. Physically, not so. I don’t like the ageing process at all! We don’t like wrinkles, we don’t like dark hairs on the chin that we have to pluck out! But, when you reach that age, when you reach 50, you have to just take it in your stride. It’s a natural process and you just have to deal with it.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

A lot of it was to do with the menopause, which in my case started about 8 years before I reached 50. So, it was quite early that I started having those symptoms, and I felt I was on a bit of a downward spiral and thought ‘when is this ever going to end?’. I then found HRT and it became my new best friend in lots of ways, both in my physical and mental wellbeing.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

The people I tend to come into contact with or work with have become more visible age 50, or as they get older.

In general, their children have grown up and they’ve got their life back and suddenly they can be more independent and outgoing. There’s less pressures on you then, you’ve got your own mindset, your own views and opinions. You’ve done 50 years of life and you’ve worked out what’s right and wrong and what you want to do.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

Tricky one, but I think so. If you look at BBC newsreaders a lot of them are older, wiser, comfortable in their own skin – or they’ve got personal makeup artists and personal trainers! But yeah, I think so. There definitely has been a positive shift in the last few years, and I think obviously being in my profession – as a police officer – there has to be that equality and inclusion and diversity. You go back 100 odd years and there were no female police officers.

And now it’s probably 60:40, 70:30 men:women, so it’s on the increase.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

No, because I won’t let myself. But that’s the sort of person that I am, I’ve never followed that pattern. I’ve been me all the way through, and that hasn’t changed as I’ve got older.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I’ve spent the last 16 years of my life working for the police, so I was a response police officer for 13 years and then moved onto a specialist team. And now I’ve gone on to train new recruits. So doing shift work has always taken up a lot of my life. Although now I’m Monday-Friday 9 till 5, give or take a few hours. My passion has always been my four-legged friends, my dogs. And because of my passion for dogs, I started dog agility 7 years ago, firstly to get a bit of a bond up with my dogs and it became a little bit of an addiction. We’ve gone through the grades, grade 1 to grade 7, and then the year before last we even tried out for England. We didn’t make it, but it’s been my life. We train 2 or 3 times a week, we’ve been all over the country, we’ve never quite made it internationally, but anyone will tell you that my passion is my dogs. I love people, I love my friends, and that sort of comes out in my past jobs too – holiday repping, training, running pubs, retail…so I’ve always been a people person. I’m quite competitive, but I always like to do my best at everything.

What are your aspirations for the future?

It depends if I meet the man of my dreams….not that that’s important! So, I’ve got 5 to 10 years left in my career. I’ve got no interest in promotion at this point, I’m more interested in giving. So hopefully I’ll stay in training and training new recruits up over the next few years. I’d like to take retirement when I can, and if not, I will have a teaching qualification so I could do part time work as and when. But I’d like to retire nicely in the countryside with more dogs. If I got bored, then I’d probably open up an Air B&B – dog friendly of course. It’s difficult to say, because life is for living – you don’t know what’s going to happen; as we found out this time last year, we don’t know what’s around the corner. One of my mottos is ‘live, laugh, love’.

Trudie Harrod, 50 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

So, I think it means that I’m in the prime of my life.

It does feel like that in many respects. You can feel a little invisible and people make assumptions about you – where you’re at, whether you’re married, kids… everything. I’ve got fibromyalgia, which is something I didn’t envisage happening to me in my 50s, and it’s a bit of an odd place for me to be in my 50s. But I’m making the most of it with the fibro, embracing 50.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

I guess so. I naturally just look older, feel older, putting weight on…reaching the menopause, that sort of thing.

As I say, people make assumptions about you, what you’ve achieved and what you’re going to do. It’s a bit like a ticking clock. And that’s a worry, in that respect. It’s just trying to come to terms with it I suppose.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

Yeah, and it’s not a comfortable place to be. Everybody that I work with is in their 30s, and sometimes I get the “mummy” label, and woah, I’m not ready for that yet!

But equally, you have a sense of humour, a sense of fun, and they treat me as one of them too – which is a positive. And I get approached for advice too, which is also a good thing.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular

become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

Very much so. If you look on Facebook there’s a demographic of people, a snapshot of people that are used to sell things etc, and I don’t feel that representation for us at all – it’s just about anti-ageing creams! It’s not until you think about it that it’s so evident that it’s there. We just take things for granted.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I’m a secretary for a construction company – wasn’t what I set out to be, but that’s where I am. I’m passionate about horses, I love my dog, I love time on my own and I love my friends and family.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

Life events – I’ve had some hard knocks and illness.

Horses are a massive thing for me, they’ve been a really positive thing for me.

What are your aspirations for the future?

Being fitter and healthier, enjoying my life. Maybe my own house, a little bit more secure.

What do you love?

My dog! Me time. It’s something I don’t always achieve, but something that is really important, and when I get it…it’s so beneficial.

Carolyn Birkhead, 57 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I’m kind of stunned to think of myself as actually being in my fifties. It seems impossible and I certainly don’t feel nearly 60. Just saying that seems so wrong!

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

Not worries as such. More a depressing disbelief. I simply cannot believe that I am hurtling towards 60. Doesn’t seem possible. My kids were still quite young then - Jess was only 10 when I turned 50 and I’ve always been an active, hopefully fun, mom.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeonholed as you approached the mid-life point?

I only really feel stereotyped when any medical complaint is suddenly seen as a menopausal symptom!

Has your experience of ageing been a positive one?

I think my attitude towards ageing has changed recently.

I am lucky to be healthy and able to still maintain a physical job as a gardener which I enjoy. I have been quite horrified at the rate of decline in my eyesight, skin and knees but looking at the state of the world at the moment, I’m pretty bloody fortunate! I have become more confident and happier in my own, slightly saggy, skin. I sang my first solo at the age of 52 and have become an absolute diva, dahling!

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I would agree that it is possible to feel overlooked and invisible, but I look around at my friends and see a bunch of vibrant, bright and interesting women, most of whom are about my age. I was telling my 17-year-old daughter that I do feel like I’m fading away sometimes but mainly because I no longer have flaming red hair and don’t wear

make-up. I may need to rediscover mascara!

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

I feel that lots of women my age are rather glamorously portrayed in the visual media. Jeans and walking boots don’t seem to cut it! However, if I were featured in such media, I’d make the effort, too. Hmm...is that just to avoid being invisible?

What are your hobbies and passions?

I love music, singing, guitar playing – not at the same time as I’m a classical guitarist – watching rugby, reading lots and lots, talking to people, sewing and British motorbikes. Also, I’m fairly passionate about cake! I enjoy thinking outside the box and finding solutions in tricky situations.

What are your aspirations for the future?

My main aspiration for the future is to stay healthy. We plan to travel in the next few years but it’s so far out of my comfort zone. I want to move to a detached house in Ventnor and grow veg! I am hoping to embrace a more open, adventurous life!

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

The people who mostly influenced me were my parents. My mom was a highly intelligent, compassionate, funny and creative woman. My dad was an archetypical scientist, very critical, not emotional or overtly caring or loving. I try to emulate my mom but spent most of my life feeling I wasn’t good enough. Perhaps strangely, I find my own children influence me a lot as they encourage and support me in trying different things.

What do you love?

I love family, friendship and fudge!

Lorraine O’Sullivan, 54 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

In some ways its quite liberating. When you’re young you’re aspiring, you’re constantly trying to achieve – qualifications, career, marriage aspirations. Then it’s about a home, bringing up children, having all the comforts that go with a home and family life. I’m incredibly lucky – I say lucky having worked for it, it’s not been gifted – that we’re in a position where we’ve got everything we need. We’re lucky to have a healthy son who is employed. We’re very grateful for what we have, and now it’s a case of being able to do what we please.

There are no real constraints, we could pack up and go footloose and fancy-free if we wanted to. We won’t, because we want our son to have a secure base until he’s more independent, but it is still very liberating. Although with it, came the menopause. And that was part of the reason for resigning. I’m not an anxious person, but the anxiety I experienced was awful. Sometimes I was lying in bed and literally had to talk myself to get up and go into work…some days I just didn’t want to get out of bed. So that was the nasty side effects of the menopause – my husband will probably say I get the mood swings, but you know, we don’t ask his opinion! And if we do, we don’t listen to it, put it that way! So, I haven’t had any of the really severe symptoms that some ladies do get and suffer with really badly, but the anxiety was enough to cripple a person. It took me by surprise.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

I’ve not really had any concerns about any of the ageing process, I just sort of think: get on with it, it’s going to happen anyway and there’s bugger all you can do about it. This is it, this is me, and if you don’t like it off you trot.

It’s as simple as that – I’ve got to live with it, you don’t.

I don’t want to complicate my life with procedures or anything like that.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I’ve been a social worker all my life, working with children and families – so child protection, that sort of thing.

And then latterly, fostering and adoption, to the point of becoming a manager. But then that takes you away from what you really enjoy doing, playing politics and pushing pieces of paper around is not my idea of fun. I retired 2 years ago, which is early, but I’d had enough of it after 30 years. Now, I still do what I call grass-roots social work, so I go out and do befriending work with the elderly, which pays absolute peanuts in comparison. But I’m not doing it for money, I’m doing it because I want to give something back, which I feel is the whole premise of social work in the first place – doing some good, doing something that helps people.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular

become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I think it depends on what sphere, for want of a better phrase. And also, what personalities are involved. I’m not going to hide my light under a bushel if I’ve got something to say, and that has supposedly been rather unfortunate at times being a military wife – I’m just a “wife of”. But hang on a minute, I’m not just a “wife of”, I’m Lorraine, I’m a social worker, a manager…it just doesn’t sit well at all in the military, you’re just supposed to be a little wife. Whereas in my workforce – primarily women – I’m up there as loud and as proud as anyone else, and no one can diminish that. But you do hear about it on the telly, and how for women their options and workflow starts to slow down. I think it’s a bit sad really.

They’ve got a lot of experience; it’s all very well and good having young and beautiful and whatever else, but those women might not have as much life experience. I think it’s silly, half the population are women, and more of the population now are ageing – so actually wouldn’t it be more reflective to have older personalities on the media?

We’re ground-breaking. This generation is the first generation who have probably worked most of their lives. If you go back a generation, most ladies were home-workers. We’re one of the first where most of us have been expected to work most of our lives, contribute equally within a household and a relationship. So therefore, we’re the first ones to be working and hitting menopause. This is why now, only now, some of the workplaces are having to look at policies to help women with the menopause – just as they do for age discrimination and suchlike.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

Yes – I think what has really shaped me is that my parents were ex-pats, they went abroad when I was quite young for work, basically. But where they went to, Dubai, there was no schooling for children over the age of 11, and I was coming up for that age. So, I had to live in Surrey with my grandparents, and I spent 3 years living there, but at that age started to fly independently out to the Middle East to see my parents. I became independent very, very early. I went out to the Middle East and started working in a school over there. One of the summers I came back, I met my husband, and then he went on to be in the military. I’ve always been independent. I was unphased then when we had to move around as a family.

What do you love?

That’s quite hard really. Intrinsically, I love my family.

Love is such a strong word, I don’t know if I would openly apply it to much else.

Ann Malloy, 57 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Being in my 50s, for me, has been regeneration. I probably say every decade there has been a new version of me.

I started belly dancing when I was just turning 40, I got married a couple of ears ago in my 50s. My health and wellbeing is really good – something I’ve probably got better at as I’ve got older as well. So, I’m really enjoying being in my 50s.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

For me, approaching the 50 mark, there was a little bit of trepidation about ‘well what is this going to mean for me?’. And as soon as I thought ‘well, what’s happened in the last 10 years?’, and realised life changed for the better, why not continue? So, when I reached 50, I just thought ‘what mischief can I get up to now? What can I do with my life? What’s next?’. I started restaurant dancing in my 50s, started teaching belly dance, all sorts of different things. I have a great belief that things happen for a reason; they come up and you should just meet them where you are and do the best you can. But always try and learn from them – keep an open mind and try and look for the message in it. Last September I started doing a transformational coaching course and I passed that in February, so I’ve now taken a job being a reablement worker, which means helping the elderly rehabilitate when they come out of hospital.

What are your hobbies and passions?

One of my passions is wellbeing. I love food. I make almost like an art form out of creating locally produced, tasty, organic food. The best gift someone can give me: “I’ve got a bag of apples, do you want them?”. That is just the most amazing gift, and I’ll then create something with that that is wholesome and delicious. Some of my favourite foods are something I call peasant foods – a country’s dish. Something like hot pots, stews, a curry, something that people can share in a group and a community. We all have our own foods, no matter what nationality or culture – even the north and south of England have their own foods. But when you bring people together over food, suddenly we all have a common

language. Dance, music, and food are the passions of life.

Another passion of mine is the desert. I love being in the desert. I’ve fasted in the desert, completely on my own for 3 days with just water. It was just the most amazing experience. Someone I met out there asked a guide if we should meditate, and he responded with “the mountains have been meditating for millions of years, you don’t need to”. I just thought that was amazing.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

My personal opinion is: be the change you want to see.

So, if you don’t want to be invisible, be visible. I am not invisible. I can be invisible, if I’m having an off day, or I’m feeling a bit low, I shut down and then I become invisible.

And that might be a protection thing anyway, and then everyone else is responding to that. But if I want to be seen, I just get so many people who say hello. So, I don’t feel invisible at all unless I choose to be.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

More so now. I think it is changing. I feel more represented. I think one area where I really struggle to see change is fashion. You get the younger models in magazines, television adverts, or they suddenly go the other way, and you get these very glamorous 60/70 year olds. So, there’s this middle gap: do I dress like a teenager? Or do I dress like a 70-year-old that’s really glamorous? And because I’m neither, I don’t know if we’re really represented in our own style yet. I struggle to find which camp I fit in.

There’s a gap, a middle bit that isn’t represented. So, my role models are actually from an older generation. That’s the main area that affects me personally.

What do you love?

What do I love? I love being in my 50s! I love reinventing myself, at any opportunity. It’s not about conforming to the norm, it’s about reinventing myself to my own mould and what I want to be. And I love being able to do that.

Márta West, 57 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I feel very well in my 50s. If I’m thinking of my parents, they had a very hard time. And in this time, I feel just happy, really.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

No. I’m happy with my age. It’s a part of life for everybody.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I love to cycle, and I love to go to the gym to keep fit. I love music. I would like to travel.

What do you do for work?

That’s a good question because I’ve not been working

now for 20 years! I’ve been looking after my son.

Would you say there is anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

I’m a kind person, a loyal person. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my life.

I’m not English, I’m Hungarian. My English isn’t that good. I was 35 – so a long time ago – when I moved here.

I found my prince on his white horse in Hungary, my husband! He came to teach English in Hungary and that’s how we met, on the train.

Tracey Hopwood, 52 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Well – I feel old! Of course, you’re going through different changes in life and experiencing menopause.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I love spending time with my family and grandchildren, I love baking, I love working with children. I’ve got a new job recently working in a nursery school again. So, it’s all family orientated really.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

No, not really no. There are a lot more famous people my age and above, so I feel we’re all good and we are

getting noticed more so now than before.

What are your aspirations for the future?

Retired – hopefully! I’m hoping that my health is still good and being able to spend time with family. And hopefully win the lottery!

What do you love?

Life. I love life, I love experiencing different meals, going to different places. I love travelling and again, I love spending time with my family and my grandchildren – I’ve got 13 now, and another on the way!

Catherine Harris, 55 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Well, I suppose it’s meant a change from having small children, to them leaving school, and my life does revolve around my family. My parents are getting to the point where they need a little bit more help – they do still live independently, but my Dad’s been shielding and so I’ve been doing more. And then there’s helping out with my brother too. He is looked after by a charity, but he does need 24/7 care, but it’s just being there in the background. There’s the personal side, so family, and then there’s the work side. So, at work it’s a very different dynamic, and it is satisfying to feel that your experience is starting to pay off.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

Yes, I think so. It’s kind of subconscious, in the background, that feeling that ‘oh I’m going to need glasses’, just these little things. It’s not something I thought about a lot, or talked about a lot, but definitely something that was more subconscious.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

I think so. I changed jobs the year I was 50, and there were a number of factors that prompted me, but there was an occasion where I was talking to someone in the office, and they made a comment and I can’t remember the exact words, but it was something like “well, you’re obviously going to stay here until you retire”. There was no other thought that I might actually be capable of going and doing an interview and doing something else. I think a lot of the time it’s not spoken about, and its more you’re just expected to fit in, but nothing is said out-right.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I think it’s hopefully become a bit more of a nuanced picture now. I’m very lucky – I work at Oxford Brookes University, I’m an admin, and I work in the school of education. There’s lots of teacher training going on and lots of the academic staff are women – and older women at that. So, I do see a lot of women who are very able to stand up in front of a room and say what they think.

I’m very conscious of the odd comment that comes out every now and again, and it makes you realise people see me in a certain way when they see I’m a middle-aged woman. So, it’s not disappeared completely.

Some people do point to the positive things that have

happened as if “right, well that’s it, it’s all over now, we’re there”. But it’s keeping that momentum going which is the hard thing. When I was a child, and people would perhaps talk about the NHS, it was talked about in a way of, “right we’re there and we can just sit back and relax”, it’s a case of keeping that awareness going - anything that we gain we have to defend because otherwise it will disappear if we don’t.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I’ve always liked music. In the past I have sung in a few choirs and now I still enjoy listening to music. I enjoy just getting out, whether it’s in the garden, walking, I do regard myself as an outdoors person really. I do have quite an interest in current affairs, not that I tend to watch all the politics programmes, but it stems from having grown up with two severely disabled brothers – one of whom died in 2014. Obviously, there’s always been that interest in disability rights and how people are seen. It’s a very interesting area really, so when I’m reading, I like to read up on that sort of thing. Hobbies-wise, I do, especially more recently, like to do things that are a bit more creative. I’ve been making birthday cards instead of going out and buying them.

What are your aspirations for the future?

That is difficult. I consider myself very fortunate with the job I have at the moment. We’re a nice little team and having those team meetings once a week during lockdown certainly helped with the routine. I suppose it’s a constantly shifting picture. I’m thinking maybe I should do more training work-wise and see if I can do a bit more there, but other times its really nice to think that I could retire in maybe 10 years from now. I know my generation are not guaranteed our pension at the age some previous generations were. When I look at the older generation in my family, there’s a lot of “Oh yes, we’re going to go on 3 holidays a year”, and I just think I’m not sure that’s what I want to do when I retire. I’d quite like to get more involved in community things, and hopefully bring some of my experience to help young carers. It’s a very open picture. Like a lot of people, the pandemic has shifted my focuses a little bit.

What do you love?

My family. I’m very lucky, I have a very supportive husband that has pushed me to do things when I’ve thought I’m not sure I can do it. My life certainly revolves around my family.

Karen Young, 55 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Being 55 means that I have done my journey with the children in as much as they’re all grown up and settled as best they can be. But equally, it’s about changing the pace of my life and doing things perhaps that I’d like to do, rather than just concentrating on the kids. Putting me first a little bit now.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

Just the ageing process – as you become older, you’re battling your weight a lot more because of menopause. I think you’ll find most women struggle once they hit that age. And of course, you’re not seen quite so much out there. Even being in a bar, if you’re with a group of girls, the males that come into the bar, they’re never going to look at you because they’ll look at every other young thing. It almost is like you’re invisible. You don’t exist in any context really. And that’s alarming. Once, I was a vivacious, outgoing party girl, who was very much the centre of things. Now with my group of friends, we’re still partying when we can, and we’re still being vivacious, but we’re completely ignored by other people now – we’re just the silly old ladies in the corner.

It was worse in previous years of course because the social structure was very different. Remember, women were invisible, because men went out to work and women stayed at home and they did what their fella told them. They didn’t have opinions, they weren’t allowed to have opinions. So, things have moved on, in some ways.

But there’s still a long way to go. You don’t see many aged women in the media, on the TV, in the cinema. You never see it, apart from the odd occasion. It’s like when I’ve read books in the past, and I know that the woman is 50-something, and then in a film adaptation she’s played by a 30-something actress. It’s ridiculous, and we need to catch up. Who runs the media? You tend to find that most people in the echelons of the media tend to be men. And they don’t want to look at 50-year-old, 60-yearold women. It’s disappointing. And we as women should support one another, we should be embracing our beauty on the outside – our turkey neck, our wrinkles.

We should embrace it and we should tell each other “it’s okay”. Somebody said to me once, those laughter lines, those lines of pain, all those life experiences that you’ve had are engrained on your face and your body. They should be a medal. A gold medal that you’re there. We’re still here and we should be validated.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

People can be very condescending when you reach a

certain age, like you are just that silly old woman. And I’m really not. I am articulate, I am intelligent, I do have an opinion and by god I’ll make sure that they know it.

Men have it so easy compared to women, on so many levels. A man can age very well, they don’t have clichés. It seems to be more accepted that they are still valid in the workplace, still valid when they’re out and about. It’s not unusual to see an older man with a younger woman. It’s like men who sleep around – well he’s Jack the Lad, but a woman who sleeps around is a slut. The role reversal never seems to be the same, it’s wrong.

What are your aspirations for the future?

You know, I never got a degree, and so in the future, if I can, I’m going to get a history degree, because I am passionate about history. Tudor history in particular. It’s not so much about the degree itself, but about being around like-minded people. People who I can have conversations with that won’t find me boring! My husband doesn’t like history, so he finds it boring when I want to talk about Anne Boleyn or Henry VIIIth, or Thomas Cromwell. I adore it, I read endless numbers of history books. So, I would love to be able to do that and have that interaction with people that love it as much as I do.

Elizabeth 1st, wasn’t she a legend? She was a powerful, powerful woman who knew her own mind. If I could invite one person to a dinner party, it would be her – and Stephen Fry! But everyone says Stephen Fry! No, my favourite guest would be Elizabeth 1st. I’d love to ask her how she feels about her mother, how she feels about the fact that her father murdered her mother. And why she never sorted out a proper burial for her. She never got her a proper coffin or burial, she’s just under a slab, buried next to Catherine Howard and Jane Rochford in the church at the Tower of London. But yes, Elizabeth – a powerful women who knew her own mind.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

That is a hard question. I just feel the people around me have shaped me. From my parents and watching how they interacted with one another and learning how to be with other people. People shape you. Yes, I’ve had some tragedy in my life and that has shaped me a little bit. I lost my brother and that has made me re-evaluate things.

Let’s not hide it, I’ve got breast cancer. That’s shaping me even now. Life events shape you. People shape you.

I’ve been very fortunate because I’ve had lots of strong people around me. I’ve had lots of strong women – my mum is strong, my nanny was very strong, and that has shaped me to be the very strong character that I am now.

Cheryl Smith, 56 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I’m not very good at the ageing process I have to say. I do a lot of natural things to keep me looking as good as I can – I’m absolutely fitness obsessed. When the gyms were open, I spent a lot of time there, but recently it’s been a lot of home hit sessions in the kitchen! Working from home the last year has been really difficult as it’s been all video calls. I just sit there and think ‘I have aged so much in the last year’. I can see the dark lines, I can see the wrinkles, nobody is getting their hair done very often…yeah, it’s pretty horrific! Fitness is good for your mental health, but as long as I still feel I look alright, it’s not so bad.

I think when I hit 50, I really didn’t want anybody to know. A lot of people have a big party, but I just didn’t want anybody to put it on Facebook, I really didn’t want to be 50. But actually, I think I have probably become a little bit more comfortable with it now, I do tell more people my age and so I am becoming a bit more confident with it. It’s just that everybody always thinks that somebody in their 50s is really old, but the generations have changed now, 50 isn’t old at all. I don’t think being 60 is old either, I mean I’m only 3 and a half years off being that, and I don’t want to be classed as old when I’m 60. I have more energy than some of these kids! I’ve got two children, 25 and 22, and I can honestly say that I am fitter and have got more energy than they have – and I tell them that quite often!

What are your hobbies and passions?

I work for Lloyds bank, and I’ve been there coming up for 30 years. I’ve always done the same role – a personal assistant role – but it’s changed, and I’ve worked for many different people, and so it’s felt like I’ve had lots and lots of different jobs over those 30 years. And the level that I work at is almost as high as you can possibly get in that field. At work we talk a lot about development, and what a career path is, and I don’t really have any aspirations in that respect at my age now – and I don’t think I have all the way through. I’m more about enjoying the job that I do rather than just going and getting something that’s better paid. I’d rather be happy in the job that I’m doing and feel like I’m doing it well. I’m competitive at work in terms of myself, and always being the best that I can be.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

Totally agree with it. And actually, I first heard that phrase being said by a friend, and as we’ve grown older – we’ve been friends for a very long time – she always said she hated that she’d become invisible. I don’t really feel

that way about myself just yet, but I can see how younger models are perceived as more interesting than us in our 50s, for example. I definitely agree that once you reach a certain age, you get past your “sell by date” as far as the media is concerned.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

I’ve never really thought about whether or not I’m represented, but I would probably say not. I mean I look at the news for instance, and you have many elderly male news presenters…I guess on Good Morning Britain you have Susana Reid, she is 50, but she’s a “good looking 50”, and I guess that might be how those sorts of women stay in their careers, because they look younger than they actually are. If you were 60, overweight, didn’t necessarily dress up to date…you wouldn’t stand a chance. But give a man and a suit and he’s fine.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

I come from quite a big family, I’m one of 5 children, and I’ve been married for 34 years, so a lot of my life I feel I’ve been living with my husband and my own family, for more of my life than I was living at home with my own siblings. Kids always ground you and always shape you. It’s the best thing you will ever do, and it’s the hardest thing you will ever do. And it never stops. Being a mum has really shaped me. Being one of five children and really fighting for your place amongst your parents has shaped me. We never went abroad growing up, we would go camping and that sort of thing. But the life with my husband, and what we’ve built for our kids, is a lot more privileged than I had growing up.

My husband has been through a lot – he had cancer, he’s had a bone marrow transplant which saved his life ultimately, he’s just had open heart surgery 6 months ago… he’s had a lot going on. But all of that makes you really strong, and it does shape you. You can’t crumble, you’ve just got to carry on. The hardest thing I think was telling the kids about it, it was 12 years ago he was diagnosed with cancer, and that affected my daughter so badly, who was only 11/12 years old. Even now if she hears him coughing, she expects the worse.

What do you love?

My family. Totally. Even the two dogs that we’ve got, everything. My husband and I have been on our own for most of lockdown, but it has been so nice actually, just reconnecting with him.

Lulu Bell, 54 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

It means that my children have grown up, my two younger ones are now coming towards the end of University, so I’m able to choose and do things that I want to do for myself. Now, it’s starting to be a little more about me.

We’ve always had lots of children in our lives, we were foster carers, we’ve looked after over 100 children in our home as a host family – so this is me time. Which I’m really enjoying. Although I’m still very involved with my children and grandchildren, it means I can have a little more time to myself.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

Probably the main concern I had was hitting the menopause and how that would affect me health wise. I did gain quite a lot of weight initially, I’ve always tried to keep control of that and to begin with when I knew I was gaining weight I just thought I’d roll with it. Last year I got my head around the situation and managed to lose quite a lot – 4 stone. I realised during lockdown that I was fitting into the BAME, overweight, over 50 category, and I thought it was up to me to do something about it.

That was my trigger, and I managed to do it. So, for me, it’s not been a traumatic experience going into my 50s, it’s an age, isn’t it? It’s about how you feel, and I’m fit and healthy and that was the main thing for me, to remain that way.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I would be inclined to agree. Certainly, in the media, you know, if you work in television or whatever, they’re looking for certain looks, certain ways to behave, and I just think that if you’re a middle-aged, overweight woman, you don’t get a lot of work in the media. And unfortunately, as we age certain things do happen to us; we might have more wrinkles, our hair might go grey, we might put on a few pounds, but I think the media should embrace us women, rather than beating us with that wooden spoon. For me, I’m very lucky in that this is my hair – it isn’t dyed or anything, I’m lucky that I’m not grey yet. I’m sure that will happen, and when it does, I’m not going to dye it, I’ve always said I’m going to grow old disgracefully! I would never – and I’m not condoning anybody – but I would never have Botox or anything like that. I’m quite a natural person. The only thing I think, you need to be fit and healthy. But you can still be fit and healthy whilst carrying weight, this is the thing. I can think of a few black women at the moment who are not the usual stereotype, and people love them, but I think that there should be more of us. And I don’t just mean black women, but women of a certain age – give them a chance. Just because they’re over 50 it doesn’t mean

that they’re not going to be good at what they do. For women in the media, it’s all about how you look, it’s about whether they fit into what the media wants. I think we’ve still got a very long way to go, it’s small steps we’re making at the moment. I’d certainly say with black women at the moment, we’ve got such a long way to go with the media. They think every now and then having 4 black women on a show is good, that we’ve reached the point. But it isn’t about that – it’s about giving them the same opportunities that men have, that white people have, it’s about all those things. It’s about just being treated as a person, not as an age, a sex, a size, a colour.

Then you’ve got the menopause. You can’t ring into work and be off sick, because you’re not necessarily sick, but you’re just not feeling how you want to be feeling. And there’s nowhere for you to go with that. You might feel like absolute rubbish, whether it’s the hot sweats, whether you’ve had no sleep, you know, and I do suffer a bit with sleep deprivation and insomnia, and that is a killer sometimes. When you’re tired, you’re tired. And you’ve got that memory loss sometimes, so when you start adding those things together, you’ve still got to go into work and perform. They just don’t accept that you’re going through the menopause. So many of us are affected by it, in such different ways. I’ve got a very dear friend of mine who suffered very badly, especially with her mental health, and I just watched this incredible, career driven businesswoman quite literally crumble before me. There just isn’t the support in place to help women who suffer really badly with whatever symptoms they experience.

My friend had to give up her job in order to get back to the place that she needed to be.

The thing is with women, we don’t want to be judged all the time. We don’t want to be judged. We just want to be accepted.

What are your hobbies and passions?

Probably what I love most is spending time with the family. I’m very family orientated. My father was Jamaican, and my mother is English, so it’s been quite nice for us to have influence from 2 different cultures. Also, when fostering, we looked after children from all over the world from all different backgrounds. And that was really great for my kids growing up, you know, we’d have someone from Uzbekistan, someone from Iran, someone from Russia, China…we’d all be sat around the dining table and my children were able to feed into those other cultures. For us, it was fab because you’d get some children that would turn up from very affluent families, and others that would turn up in just the clothes they were standing in, and you’d really be starting that nurturing process.

Magdalena Ozbayraktar, 54 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

It’s a little bit of mixed feelings, you know, there are mixed feelings involved. I feel that I am more knowledgeable, about life especially, but I also feel that my brain is not working as it used to. There are positives and negatives of it.

I’ve forgotten the title, but it was a French movie about a woman who was going through menopause. But that was one, and it did make me think ‘oh, there is one!’.

It’s like with mental health for example: at the moment we’re talking more about it, but I don’t notice the same thing about women and ageing.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

Yes, I think so, because it’s like a sort of, you know, an age where you definitively stop being young, and you become all of a sudden on the “other side”. Definitely, I was a bit anxious, but at the end of the day you are still the same person.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I always had a passion for medicine – I am a nurse. It was always a big part of my life, but recently I am a little bit disillusioned about my job, so at the moment I’m not working. I might go back to it, but at the moment I’m not. Recently, especially during lockdown, I’ve been trying to live more in the moment, you know, read books that before I didn’t have time for, watch more programmes, going for walks in our beautiful countryside.

Just living in the moment. Doing yoga and Pilates, this sort of thing.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

No, not really because I’m not a person who will fall for it. But, of course, you are less able to do certain things, for example walking instead of running.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

Yes, I would be inclined to agree. Even recently, I was talking to my friends about it and, you know, women in their 50s, every one of them go through menopause for example, and it’s sort of completely ignored. Well, it’s very ignored. Even employers, for example, they don’t pay attention to all the physical symptoms women experience. And they don’t give any allowances. It doesn’t mean they are less able, it’s just that they are going through a few years in their life when, on top of everything else they have to deal with, they also have menopausal symptoms. But employers don’t acknowledge it, and very, very often, women in their 50s resign from work. But I feel if they made special allowances it wouldn’t have to be the case. If men had to go through menopause…well! Maybe it is talked about a little bit more now, but it is seldom you see anything in the press about it. It’s frustrating that employers expect you to perform like 20-year-olds – we’ve got lots of job experience, but at the same time we do need a little bit of help. There is no support at all like this. When I talked to my friends, every single one of those ladies experienced symptoms, you know. There is not one who didn’t.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

No, I don’t think so. I watched a movie recently actually,

What are your aspirations for the future?

I’ve been thinking a lot about it recently. I gave myself a deadline at the beginning of this year – would I go back to professional life or not, now that I’ve postponed it for a year. So, I will think about it again at the beginning of next year. I would have to find a profession that doesn’t put me under such terrible stress, which I was working under before. Otherwise, I wouldn’t mind spending a few months here in England, a few months in Poland, a few months in Turkey, a few months in South Africa because that’s where we have family. So that would be an alternative.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

Yeah, I think definitely living in different countries. I was born in Poland, was 24 when I left Poland for South Africa. Then lived 23 years in South Africa and now I’m in the UK. So basically, all those years spent in different countries made me the person I am today – quite a resilient one in some cases.

What do you love?

That’s the most difficult question! What do I love? Look, at the moment, it’s a difficult one because, you know, my priorities are changing a bit. At the moment, I love being with people mainly. With people that I love.

Phillipa Rankin, 55 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I always remember as a child, your parents in their 50s were ancient, and then all of a sudden you find yourself there – and you feel as far away from ancient as possible.

You still have your humour, your health, your physicality.

So, its interesting reaching that point, and thinking is this midlife? Where are we with that? It’s an interesting experience.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

I loved my 40s. Absolutely loved my 40s, I think they were some of my best years to date. And so, I just hoped that the 50s would replicate that.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

I haven’t. I think if we come back to it being about a mindset, and how you approach your 50s, how you decide to pigeonhole yourself or otherwise, you can be a very “young” 55-year-old. I know some octogenarians that are so free spirited and light of mind, and I think it helps with ageing if you retain that lightness of spirit and not deciding that its all over and that opportunities have closed down. Your perception of the decade ahead, that influences how you feel. And god willing, with great health there’s no reason why women in their 50s shouldn’t carry on having the most incredible decade.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

From a media perspective I do agree. I think there’s some actresses that you would immediately go to as the A-class list of actresses because they’ve had the longevity in that medium. But there are not very many, not very many. And I think it’s a shame, because it’s a misrepresentation really of our generation. Especially in film too, you do find that female actors have travelled through the decades of perhaps playing the daughter, and then the wife, and then suddenly they’re given roles of the mother of the lead. Then Judi Dench, Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren and such, they’re then faced with being the grandmother, perhaps earlier than their time.

What are your hobbies and passions?

My passion I suppose from the age of 23 until the last breath I have, would be my children. I have 3 kids, and a large part of their childhood I was a single mother.

Through necessity, we became a unit, and as a result we became very close. They were very much my focus. But when I started my family, it was against the backdrop of

fashion – I was a model agent and had been since the age of 21. It was just quite interesting to see how that married up really. By the time I had children, it did require time zones to be talked to at silly o’clock at night, so I decided to take a little bit of a backseat to focus on my children. And then returned. So, I’ve had an interesting career in fashion as a model agent through the 90s and until the early 2000s. It’s been interesting to see how the female representation in a working environment actually shifts, you know, you started as the 21-yearold and you’re then working with contemporaries that are the age of your children. And you’re suddenly the older person on the team – which is no bad thing. I then trained as a nutritional therapist, because my other great hobby is the microbiome and everything to do with the gut-brain connection. I’ve turned my hobby into a career now, which I love. And it’s got nothing to do with fashion either! It was very much right place right time. I went through an interview process in my early 50s – who would have guessed, hey?

What are your aspirations for the future?

I think certainly expanding my newly found current career. I always think of age in decades, as a window.

So, what’s happening in this window? What’s going to happen in the window before 70? I’m very laid back, just bring it on, whatever is going to happen.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

I would say the role of being a single mother certainly shaped me. Without a doubt there’s a tenacity and an inner strength that one has to find. You never know you’ve got this until you’re faced with it. And there are times when you think ‘I so don’t have it!’…but it’s hugely shaped me. The abilities that one realises we have as females, the incredible ability to be so many faces and masks to so many different areas and people in your life.

I strongly believe that as females we are hugely capable. Hugely capable. It is only certain circumstances or events in life that really brings that out in you, because sometimes there isn’t another choice to be anything but capable.

What do you love?

My children. Olly, Woody and Ella, in that order. Woody is short for Edward. And because I’m an oddball, they’re all named after trees. So, I’ve got an Oak, Oliver Antony Kemp; I’ve got an Elm, Edward Louis Morgan; and Ella is Florence, so Florence Isabella Rose, my Fir tree. I gave birth to an Arboretum!

Cathy Wainwright, 55 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

It feels like a stage in my life where it does feel like age is starting to creep up on you a bit more than it has in other decades. But it’s also quite a liberating age – dare I say it, my kids have grown up, and left home and my career has got to a stage where I’m not a wage slave anymore.

I’m lucky, I’ve been doing a lot of running and yoga so it still feels like I can do a lot of the things I did when I was younger, but every now and then it feels like I’ve slowed down a little bit physically.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

I remember being much more scared about being 40 than I was 50, I’m not sure why. I think 40 is an age where you really realise you are actually mortal, and that ageing is a thing. But my 50th Birthday I was kind of okay about it. But I did have the anxiety that lots of people have surrounding a big Birthday – and of course the menopause and the knowledge that your body is changing quite a bit at that age is scary sometimes.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I think it depends on the context. I think it’s quite easy if you’re on a train or a bus somewhere, and there’s lots of young people around then yes, in that context you can be invisible. But I think if you have a role and you’re doing something maybe in business then I think people still notice. But I do think there is an element of invisibility. The work that I’ve done is very male dominated, so in that sense people notice you much more just because “oh my god, she’s not a man!”. People would always remember me when often I didn’t remember them, just because of my difference.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

I don’t spend that much time looking at the visual media

– but I think maybe more than we used to be. Now we do get newsreaders who are slightly older than 25 or 30, but certainly not as much as other age groups. Judi Dench, for example, she’s a national treasure – but she just so happens to be, luckily, very beautiful, incredibly talented, that end of the spectrum.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I do a lot of running; 10km, half marathons. I like being outside a lot and doing outdoors-y things. I like walking too – I went up Kilimanjaro 2 or 3 years ago. If it wasn’t for COVID-19 I’d have been going to the Himalayas last November, so I was really sad for that not to happen. I love adventurous things. And then yoga. I go to a yoga retreat in India – I’ve been there a couple of times, and I spend a month there each time. I’d be there again this year... I also love gardening.

I worked full-time for 33 years for the same company in the energy business doing a fairly high-powered job in investment management. I took a sabbatical which is why I managed to go to India but I’m about to start a new job, working in business development in Hydrogen – so energy transition stuff. I want to do that 3 days a week and keep a bit more balance in my life and do more of the yoga and running and my own things. When you say, “what does your 50s mean”, when I look back at what I’ve managed to do in my 50s, well I’ve been so lucky and had so many opportunities. I’ve travelled to San Francisco and Australia with work.

What do you love?

Running. Well – running and yoga…I think it depends on the day. Maybe it’s yoga today. Doing yoga in a beautiful place with good teachers and lovely people around me…

Lindsay Rowlands, 51 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I’ve only just got into my 50s so I’m still finding out what it means. I think menopause is awful, it’s really difficult and under-spoken about. I treat a lot of people going through difficult times, and they really struggle a lot with a lot of different aspects of menopause. It is an issue that we can better address. It’s not just the talking about it, it’s the amount of specific help for women that is not there. We have a very general “one sticker fits all” help, and I think it needs to be a little bit more specific, because everyone has different experiences. At the same time, being 50 you don’t care so much. You just don’t care, you’re very settled with yourself, you’re happy in the environment you’re in. You’re not worried about what people say and think nearly as much as when you were younger. So, it’s a very comfortable place to be at the same time.

well there’s a strong woman. I think in my head I haven’t quite got to my 50s yet and so I still relate to younger people because I feel younger. And also, I don’t look at a lot of media!

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

I didn’t like the number. I hated the thought that I was that number. You know you go through your 20s, 30s, 40s, and always in my mind 50 was ‘you’re over the hill’.

I think it was definitely the stigma of the number, rather than how I was feeling that affected me more.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

I don’t think it’s one thing – there’s many things! The opportunities I’ve had enabled me to do a lot of things; from skydiving to scuba diving, to water skiing and snow skiing, to travelling around the world – twice! To be working from Harley Street to inner city….doing a lot of different things around the world. Having my own band, writing songs and recording. There have been a lot of opportunities that I’ve grabbed hold of and enjoyed.

But also, my parents. They brought me up in a certain way, so that when these opportunities came, I was of the mindset to grab them, you know what I mean? I’m very, very grateful to my parents for giving me that base.

My family, now, shape me. They make me less selfish, made me deeper in my heart to love and accommodate more people. Marrying the right person, the guy that was right for me, has made the last 20 years of my life so much more wonderful. Having somebody that tells me they love me every day, how beautiful I am every day, he makes life so much easier. There are so many wonderful things that have shaped where I am. So, that now I’m 50: I want to do my Master’s Degree, there’s so much more that I want to do and achieve. Life has still got a lot to offer, even as I age and change. It’s just another decade. The world is huge, you know? There’s so much variety out there, amazing things to see. I’m only going to scratch the tiniest bit of the surface, even if I do heaps more. Who knows? We’ll see where it goes.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

I can’t think of how I have, because the job I’m in hasn’t changed, it’s still continuing. There hasn’t been anything that I’ve had to come up against where I’ve had to change because of it. So, I can’t think of anything at the moment. Maybe in 5 years’ time I’ll have an answer for you!

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I look at people like Judi Dench, and well, the Queen – there’s a lot of people that have gone on to do incredible things when they are older. But I think the percentage is definitely less. There are some amazing people who are still currently in the media, but the percentage isn’t as much as the youngsters.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

I think I probably feel represented because I don’t necessarily spend a lot of time looking at myself and thinking directly ‘have I got somebody who looks like me?’, you know what I mean? I might just see someone and think

What are your hobbies and passions?

Number one has got to be my family, I absolutely adore them, I’m so proud of my kids. I also have an amazing husband. I love my job. At the moment, I’m a physiotherapist in private practice, but I was a commercial pilot for a little while, doing some bush flying in Africa.

I love every day, every half an hour making somebody feel better. It’s just a great way to spend your time, it’s very rewarding. And it’s a job where you’re constantly learning – every year there’s something to learn, whether that’s about people or the body. You feel like a detective, it’s interesting!

What do you love?

Family. And then my job. I have a faith and that really helps me as well. You live with hope when you have that.

Toni Sneyd, 54 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

It was more to do with, well, not with the age, but ‘where’s the time gone?’. So, being 50 isn’t a problem.

But I just can’t believe I’m 50, if you know what I mean?

It’s those 50 years…you wake up and you’re 21 and then you wake up again and you’re 50 and you think ‘what happened?’. So, I’m not bothered being 54, but I just can’t believe that it’s come round that quickly.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

No, none at all. I’m not that kind of person. I’m too, as the saying goes, “too old to be bothered”. I think I’ve always been too old to be bothered! It is just a number.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I haven’t worked since Jacob was born, so 14 years ago, because I was quite old when we had kids. We were told we couldn’t have kids – and then we had two children.

I am privileged enough to not have to work because of my husband. I am a trained mental health nurse which I enjoy, I like the people side of things. My hobbies are food, gardening, cinema, the theatre. I like going out.

Family stuff.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

No because I still think I’m 21. I know it sounds really stupid, and I don’t tell many people this, but when you’re driving around or walking around and you see a really handsome young man and then you think ‘oh, I wonder if they like me’ and then you think ‘you’re 54!! They’re not going to like you!’. But I forget I’m 54, I forget I’m whichever age I am, so it doesn’t bother me.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular

become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I personally think it’s more to do with your own understanding, how you feel, your own emotions and stuff. I think we’re all invisible most of the time, but we don’t feel it when we’re younger. As you get older, yeah you think you’re becoming invisible, but actually you’re not.

Work-wise I think you are perhaps, I mean I’ve been trying to get a job for the past 6 months, and because I have had children late and I haven’t worked for the past 13 years, nobody wants me. And that’s because I’m a woman and I’m 54. You know, men don’t bring up the kids – although my husband, if I’d have earnt more than him, would have gladly worked from home. So, I think women feel as if they’re invisible but, it’s more to do with how you perceive things, and it doesn’t bother me now.

If I am invisible, I don’t notice it because that’s just not my personality.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

My mum. As a child growing up when you’d want something and you’d say “yeah but they’ve got it, I haven’t got it” or whatever it was, my mother always said “I don’t care about other people, I care about you. What you do.

Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, compare yourself to yourself”. So, I think that has always stuck, and is something I teach my kids. It’s probably another reason why I don’t feel invisible, because I am who I am because of me, not because of other people. I’m not the Belle of the ball, I’m not the joker of the crowd, or the centre of attention, but I like being around people, very much so.

What do you love?

Family. The most important thing in life. But you don’t smother them.

Dawn Clarke, 51 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

It was probably the worst milestone age that I had. I enjoyed my 20s, my 30s were fine, 40s no problem, but I dreaded my 50th Birthday. I don’t know, it just means so much – it means you’re getting old, getting closer to your parents’ age. Although my mum is now 80, I always thought of her as being old in her 50s when I was at home.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeonholed as you approached the mid-life point?

It’s difficult to explain. I have tattoos and piercings. I have a conventional life, but my hobbies and passions are a little more alternative – a young culture and scene. I suppose I’ve thought about whether I should really have all these piercings, and then you have all the grey hair coming through. I don’t know, I think we need to stop being so judgemental of ourselves. I had my nose pierced for the second time recently, and I did think maybe I shouldn’t do that because I am 50 now. You get the whole “mutton dressed as lamb”, all of that, and actually I always say I don’t care about what people think about me, but I know I care more than I realise.

Men grow old gracefully, they have sympathetic stereotypes like silver fox, always talking about how mature they look. But with a woman it’s just: old. Trying to look younger than she is. The stereotypes for women are very negative. When a woman does embrace her age and appearance – like Sharon Osborne when she stopped dying her hair – there were pages and pages written about it in the press. She looked amazing and looks amazing.

She’s dyed her hair back now, and I’d like to think it was a decision made just because she likes herself better with red hair, but I’ve got a feeling it has something to do with society. And I think that’s sad.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I’d definitely agree. The kind of women that you see on Love Island, all the reality shows, the shows that TV makes incessantly, they’re all lip fillers, fake tans, hair extensions…it just goes on and on and on. That seems to be what every man wants his woman to look like. The media portrays women wanting to look like that. You don’t have a Love Island for 50-year-olds. It’s very biased towards youth with women, and it’s not the same for men. I know David Bekham probably isn’t a good example because he is absolutely stunning, but as a man you can be an underwear model or any kind of public model, looked at and revered, regardless of your age.

It’s the same in the workplace. I know it’s not the done thing anymore to put your date of birth on your CV because of ageism, but the minute you walk into that

interview or when people take a look at your CV, they can tell what sort of general age you are. A lot of people get discounted, just because “oh my team is younger, it’s just really happening right now”….as if a 50-year-old couldn’t be “happening”? You miss out on a whole load of life skills and experience that you just won’t get by excluding a huge chunk of society.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

No, not really. If you’d have asked me this when I was a woman in my 40s, then I’d have probably said yes, I do, because there are a lot of women actresses and news readers who are clearly in their late 30s early 40s.

But not really in the 50s. They seem to move into more niche markets once they hit 50, like topical magazine programmes. I think something that women my age might say they were represented in is a programme like Loose Women. But that kind of thing doesn’t interest me at all, that doesn’t represent me personally in any way.

It probably represents some women, but not me. And all these programmes are on during the day – so unless you have been a mother who has stayed at home for the duration of your child’s childhood, you’re not going to be at home to see those shows during the day anyway.

It really is targeting an audience that are pigeonholed into such a small box that not many people even fit into it anymore. I’m free to watch TV in the evenings and at the weekend, and then there’s really nothing representing my age group.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I’m very passionate about my job and being successful within that is very important to me. Family life has always been important too, but it comes when everything else is stopped – when work stops, when chores have stopped, when everything is done. I’m passionate about my health following quite a bad health scare, and that’s been really hard not being able to go to the gym so much this last year. But yes, I’m very passionate about health, fitness, eating well...I certainly wish I paid more attention to it earlier – there are certain things that my body can’t do, and I think if I’d have done it 10, 20 years ago I probably would be able to push myself a little bit further. But I’m doing as much as I can to stay fit.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

Although I’m quite stubborn and I don’t really take advice from other people, I think my parents allowing me to just make my own mistakes has really helped influence who I am. I’m really not afraid to fail, I know that failure is just a part of learning. Just being able to make my own mistakes and face things without fear. That has shaped who I am, the ability to just be myself.

Sali Wijesinghe, 51 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

I suppose it was a bit of a surprise to suddenly get to that age. But it just means being a bit more contented – you trust your own beliefs and own intuition more. I feel a bit less bothered about what other people think. I do still care, but I’m a bit more chilled out.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

No, I was quite proud of it. It’s quite a good age to reach.

Not everyone gets there, and I was grateful.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I absolutely love my work to bits. I run a directory, so word of mouth but it’s more personal than just looking something up on Google. It’s done with love and we produce a magazine. We run groups and help promote local businesses really. I love friends, music – mostly reggae, R&B, hip hop, 90s stuff. I love reading and writing. Walking with the dogs, cooking too. Dancing as well!

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

I suppose some people might think you’re past it. But I think I personally act young, and I don’t dress “older”. I also have lots of friends who are 10 years younger than myself and so sometimes I do feel a little bit old – I’m going through menopause and they’re not, and my son is older. But in general, I still love clothes and being silly and laughing. My son is into Grime and I love half the tunes he plays! I’m just as happy to listen to his playlist as mine, and then I teach him some old stuff too. I love the banter we have.

If I were to tell you that ageing women in particular become increasingly invisible with age, would you agree or disagree?

I think I’d disagree, but that could just be because of

what I’m interested in. I’m mostly interested in older women – I find them inspiring and wise. So, I probably don’t listen or pay attention to much else, but I do pay attention to bits coming from women my age or much older. People like Helen Mirren, Oprah Winfrey, I listen to what I’m interested in. If the media thinks that a woman has to be in her 20s to be noticed, I just think they’re missing out because they have so much to learn.

I wouldn’t want to be in my 20s again, it’s a hard time to go through.

Is there anything in particular that has shaped who you are today?

I think there is so much that shapes each person.

Everything you go through and everyone that you meet and connect with and have feelings with – that’s what makes you who you are. It’s such a huge topic. There are certain books I’ve read that have changed my life, certain relationships I’ve had, or experiences I’ve had, or decisions I’ve made that have shaped who I am. I’ve always been interested in philosophy and psychology, but as I’ve got older, the more I’ve been able to take on board of that and figure out who I want to be, I realise you just accidentally become someone. I read a book about gratitude and learnt more about kindness. I like to see it as a mosaic, where each little piece becomes part of you. And all the people who you’ve loved that have passed away, they’ve all made you who you are. I used to say it was a jigsaw, but a mosaic is a bit more random, whereas a jigsaw is stamped out and all the pieces have to fit together in an exact way – or they really don’t. Whereas mosaics you can fiddle around with them and they’re not perfect, and also more creative.

What do you love?

People.

Natascha Azevedo, 54 What does being in your 50s mean to you?

Lately, I started to think that I am in my middle age, and not that I am old but in the way that half of my life has gone. So now I have to think a bit more in the future.

Did you have any worries or anxieties about turning 50?

There are some worries, like professional worries because I need to work, so how long do I still have to work, you know? I work with IT, so technology is something that is always changing, and how to keep up to date with that. This is more from the financial side and the professional side. At the same point, my son is 17 and some may think “well he’s 18 soon, you’ve not got to worry any more”…that’s completely a lie. I still have to make choices, taking account for him. I am not free. He is still a priority. To give him a good life, to be able to provide to him all of this, makes a difference in my life as well.

On the other side, yes, you are in your middle age, but it doesn’t mean that I am done. For example, last year I decided to do something: I learnt a new sport. I bought myself a paddle board and I go to rivers and lakes with my buddy, my dog, and we paddle in the water. So yes, you are more mature, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t still learn stuff. For me, it was the first time in a long time an achievement. I did something for me, by myself. It didn’t involve anyone.

I had breast cancer just before turning 50. Of course, this changes your life forever. And after all the treatments, the surgeries, reconstructions, and blah blah blah…I believe it was end of last year that I got discharged. But this changed my life a lot. I am very grateful for some friends that were there for me. But being a single mum, battling cancer by myself, in a foreign country, all of this, it was hard. But it only makes me believe that I am a very strong woman. Some days I call myself a Frankenstein, some days I call myself a patchwork because I have more scars than you can imagine. But it’s over now.

Have you ever felt as though you’ve had to fit a certain stereotype, or that you’ve been pigeon-holed as you approached the mid-life point?

Not as a middle life woman. I always, in my profession, had to look and act a certain way. If you see my scarf, it says “rock and roll”. Or if you see my shoes, I always have red shoes. Well, I have to dress a certain way all the time, but its nice to choose to add a few bits so I can show I’m not exactly what they mention. I work mainly as a consultant, and so you have to really look like what they’d think you should. As a middle age woman, I haven’t changed a lot what I wear and what I do not, you know, except for some limitations because of my surgeries, of course.

We age and we have to learn how to age. I’m not the same person that I was when I was 22, of course not. My whole body has gone through a lot of different things.

Most of the time I’m confident with what I’m doing workwise, so I don’t care too much what people think, like whether I look old or not, because I know that I have the knowledge. But I do agree that there is a pressure, and you have to keep looking young. When I see people having these surgeries with their lips and their cheeks…I mean I like to treat my skin well and things like that, but I would never submit myself to anything drastic just to improve my appearance. Because I don’t want to look like a 25-year-old. I think if I had a boyfriend, for example, he would know that I am going to be 55. If he wants to be with a woman that is 55, he cannot expect her to be looking like a 25-year-old. You know, I’m never going to have the same breasts again, of course I’m going to have wrinkles and things like this, but it’s part of age. That’s why I think I’m not so worried about it, it’s being mature and realising that if someone wants to be with me it’s because of me, not because of my physical appearance or my age.

What are your hobbies and passions?

I love reading. I have to admit though, that I have more books than I have time to read. I love movies. Since I was very, very young, about 14 or 15, I loved movies. European movie makers, people like Godard, Antonioni, people that are quite old now – we had access to those movies.

But here in Cheltenham, the cinema only really shows the big American blockbusters. I do mindfulness walks – people think that a mindful walk is a walk without talking… but we talk all the time! So yeah, those are my hobbies.

Swimming too. I put myself to a challenge this year, I’m going to swim pier to pier in Bournemouth, I don’t even know where this is!

One thing that I miss most is being with friends: going to a restaurant, having a drink, having a nice meal, talking.

This social interaction is big in life.

Do you feel represented in the media as a woman in your 50s?

I think they have started to do that a bit, even in books.

They are looking now to put older women in roles. If you look at like, Kate Winslet, lots of great actresses are ageing as well. I think that you see more women producers or women writers, so that they can show their work. Big Little Lies – all the women are over 40. These women get together and produce something, something that they can act for themselves. I think there is this change that women are realising, if men aren’t going to do it for us, then we’ll go and do it. Shonda Rhimes is a good example, she is a producer now, she’s black, she’s a woman, she’s in her 50s. As writers or as actresses or as producers, women want to be heard, so they are making things that aren’t only for the youngsters anymore, and they are doing a great job.

“And what about ageing? Do men force the fear of ageing upon us or are we ourselves terrified because we only know one kind of power - the power of youthful beauty?

Isn’t it possible that if we became comfortable with other forms of female power, men might too?” - Erica Jong