To Those We Love Emily Hutchinson
To Those We Love
To Those We Love Emily Hutchinson
Foreword
Pittville Park is situated to the north side of Cheltenham, mid-way between the town centre and the racecourse, its 33 hectares divided into an East and West side by Evesham Road. Home to the stunning Pump Room (built for Joseph Pitt in 1825-30 by the architect John Forbes), and beloved swans George and Zelda, Pittville Park and Gardens are enjoyed by many.
Having lived in Cheltenham for just over two years, Pittville Park is a space I have personally loved and in which I have found great comfort. I have walked around the lake countless times and spent many a peaceful moment sitting on a bench overlooking the beautiful scenery. It was during one of these moments that I noticed I was sat on a bench with a plaque. Who were Mike and Joyce Hughes? I allowed myself to imagine who they might have been. Walking home that day, I realised every bench on the west side of the park had a plaque. Every bench was dedicated to someone. I was instantly intrigued and began taking note of all of the names. As the human mind is so inclined to do, I began making my own stories for these individuals; formed narratives for people whom I had never met. I found myself feeling a connection to the benches and those commemorated by them, trying to sit on a new one each visit. It is not only the west side of the park that has these memorial benches, but the east side too - and more than 100 individuals are commemorated in total.
To Those We Love is an extension of this. It is an exploration of these individuals, their connections to the park, and of the lives they lived. I reached out to people through a group on Facebook, Cheltenham Noticeboard, which has over 21,000 members. The intention was to try to make contact with any friends or relatives of those that the benches are in memory of, to meet with them in the park, and to listen to their story. Against the backdrop of a global pandemic, and thus a time when we are realising – now more than ever – that life is precious, connecting people over common ground became one of the main driving factors to keep the project going. It was a collaborative process, between myself and all those whom I met along the way. The work may have been approached from a journalistic perspective, but ultimately it combines portraiture, place and memory. It has given people the opportunity to share stories about their loved ones to friends and strangers alike. This book is a testament to just some of the stories held by the benches in this park, allowing their voices to be heard, their stories to be read, and their loved ones remembered.
- Emily Hutchinson
John Pickles
John Pickles is a dedicated member of Friends of Pittville, volunteering his time every first and third Thursday of each month to the beautiful park. A significant part of his work involves looking after and maintaining the memorial benches, a job he has been doing for the past six years between April and July. A kind, charitable and genuine man, John wishes to make sure that each bench – whether new or old – is kept respectable in memory of those that we love and cherish.
Ronald and Joan Orr
Ronald and Joan (Pa and Granny) Orr lived together in one of the apartments overlooking Pittville Park and the Pump Room, a stunning view from the fifth floor all year round. Ronald passed away in January 2000, but Joan continued to live in the apartment, looking down onto a bench erected in the park dedicated to her husband. She continued to do so for 18 years before the Alzheimer’s she had been suffering with required a move into Bay Tree Court Care Centre in Prestbury. Joan passed away on 5th June 2020, just after the first official UK lockdown had ended in the summer. She would have been 90 in October. With four children, six grandchildren (Kate pictured), and three great grandchildren, Kate’s daughter Lila will always remember Joan as GG. The plaque on Ronald’s bench has now been amended to include Joan’s name, reunited once more.
Barbara Denman
Barbara and husband, Ralph, moved to Cheltenham from Leeds in the 1970s due to Ralph’s work with the MEB. They made a new, very content life down here, living in Charlton Kings for many years. In recent years, they moved to a flat just beyond Pittville Park, overlooking the west side of the lake. The park became their garden. Ralph and sons, Gary and Phil (pictured), lost Barbara 3 years ago. Unfortunately, Ralph developed dementia not long after, and now lives in a care home. Until recently, he would still come to the park with family to visit his wife’s bench. During the winter lockdown, he was able to meet new great-grandson, Harry Ralph, named after both of his Great Grandfathers (Ralph Denman and Doug Harry Biggs). Barbara dedicated her life to her family, and her bench in the park is a comforting place for all her family to come to and remember her.
Jean and Doug Biggs
Doug was born and raised in Cheltenham. Jean came to Cheltenham from Bath at 18 to pursue nursing. The two met at a dance at the town hall and Doug later proposed whilst on a break from duty in Trinidad. They got married, had four children – Allie, Wendy, Adam and Luke – and lived a very happy life together. Every Sunday the family went to Pittville Park, a tradition that continued for many years. Jean was a dedicated nurse at Cheltenham General into her sixties, but towards the end of her life she developed dementia. She passed away in 2010, leaving Doug heartbroken for 5 years. The plaque on their bench reads “reunited, walking hand in hand”; the thing that Doug missed the most in those final years without his wife. Together, they now look over the beautiful park and lake of which they spent many a happy Sunday.
Sean Regan
Sean “Reggie” Regan, beloved husband and father of three. An avid football and tennis player, and a keen runner, Sean’s family were devastated when he collapsed from a heart attack in August 2015. He was only 50. Born in Ireland, Sean grew up in Bolton but moved to Cheltenham for his studies at St Mary’s College. It was in Cheltenham that he met Dawn, and they married in 2000. They had three wonderful children together: Tilly, Niamh, and Kitty. The family moved back to Ireland in 2003, but Cheltenham always held a significant place in their hearts. They were due to move back when Sean passed away. Having returned, the family now have a memorial bench in Pittville Park for Sean, and also managed to raise the money to install a defibrillator in his honour. This is located on the east side, close to Evesham road. A charity football match is now held each year in his memory – the first of which helped to raise the money for the defibrillator. Sean’s family feel he is very much still with them, watching over them all proudly. A lover of 80’s music, the plaque on Sean’s bench reads “Don’t You Forget About Me”, which he certainly won’t be.
Charlie Hiscox
A kind, friendly, outgoing, and fun-loving person, Charlie Hiscox is forever remembered in the hearts of many, most dearly by daughter, Amy, and closest friends Lisa and Pete. The two were inseparable, Charlie having had her daughter at a young age, they had a very special bond. Charlie was taken years too soon in December of 2016, and Amy was suddenly left not only without a mum, but without a best friend. They shared a car and once Amy moved out, Charlie followed her, living only two streets away. Charlie always looked for the fun in life, and it was known you’d hear her laugh well before you saw her. She was a very selfless person, generously giving her time and infectious energy to anyone and everyone. Known to be mischievous, Charlie was also hot on manners, and her politeness and fun spirit gained her a lot of friends – it was rare to go anywhere without someone knowing her. But family always came first. Pittville park will always hold fond memories for Amy, as she and her mum would often bring a picnic in the summer and simply enjoy each other’s company. Charlie is dearly missed, but she is remembered with a smile – something she was never without.
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Refer to the end of the book for the names of every individual commemorated by these benches, listed in the order they appear here.
Samuel Lewis
Sam had not long celebrated his 21st Birthday. A young soul with a promising, happy life ahead of him, Mum Shelly wanted his memorial to be in the beautiful open park, a place he loved to come to growing up. He is visited often by family and friends – of which he had many – some of whom also remember him through tattoos of Jaffa Cakes. It was well known Sam could polish off a packet a day, a memory held dearly to those who knew him well. Recently graduated from Gloucester University, having completed a course in gaming, he was just discovering what life had to offer him. A kind, unjudgmental man, Sam showed love and compassion to everyone he met, stranger or friend. To infinity and beyond, Sam. Brother, Son.
Betty and Victor Wilden
Gloucester man Victor and Cheltonian Betty married in January 1951. Vic was a passionate, talented photographer by trade and by nature. Even when left without work he dedicated his time to his craft, building up a portfolio that showcased everything from portraits to events, to commissioned photographs of industrial machinery. Betty, on the other hand, was the last in a long line of stonemasons, but her true passion lay in flowers. She was an integral part of the Cheltenham Horticultural Society for many years, eventually becoming President. Betty and Vic were approaching their 50th Wedding Anniversary but, due to Vic’s rapidly declining health, they celebrated early, in true Wilden style, living in the moment. A Limousine escorted the pair to Cheltenham Park Hotel where Betty was presented with a special bouquet of flowers – the exact same arrangement she had had received on her wedding day. The framed photo of them was taken on this special occasion. Vic sadly passed away in the September. The bench in their memory is located as close to the Pump Room as one could get. A very poignant place as many of Betty’s horticultural society functions and flower shows were held there. The building is therefore remarkably significant to those loved ones that hold fond memories of Betty and Vic.
David John Gorton
David’s daughter, Susie, would describe her father as a colourful man who lived a colourful life. A painter and decorator, it was in fact working for Rolls Royce that brought David to Cheltenham from London. Pittville Park became a very treasured place for him and his family. A talented artist with passions for drawing and photography, David would often come to the park finding inspiration in its beauty and solace in its nature. The park held such a significant place for the family that Susie chose to get married in the Pump Room. David is pictured walking Susie down the aisle (following page). He passed away in 2002 and Susie was gifted the bench in memory of her father. Although he spent his final years living in Montpellier, David’s bench is located on the east side of Pittville Park, near the Pump Room, a special place to his closest family who miss him dearly.
Nicky Norwood
In February 2019, Nicky Norwood passed away suddenly and unexpectedly, having suffered a brain aneurism, leaving all those around her feeling lost. She was just 59 years old. Nicky met Leigh when they were sixteen, a love that lasted forty-two and a half years. Engaged at eighteen, they grew together, matured together, built a home and a family together. They raised three wonderful children, Kayleigh, Rosie, and Laurence. Nicky was Leigh’s rock, soul partner, lover, and best friend. She was not just loved by her family, but by everyone who had the privilege of knowing her. Nicky loved to work with children, having trained as a Nursery Nurse and, later, working as a Forest School Leader – a job that filled her with joy. Her bench at Pittville is located in the children’s play area, reflective of her love for her work. Just three days before Nicky passed away, Kayleigh gave birth to Frankie, and Nicky and Leigh became grandparents for the first time – a role Nicky had been desperate to experience. She treasured the cuddles she got to have with her new grandson. Anyone that knew Nicky knew she was a wonderfully caring, compassionate, creative, charitable, beautiful woman. Taken all too soon. Nicky is sorely missed.
Percy and Verdun Mary Candler
Great Grandfather to Georgie (pictured on previous page), Percy was renowned for his keen passion and talent for music. Playing the clarinet and piano himself, and teaching both, he was also a part of the RAF Central Band. As the plaque on this bench reads, music was quite literally Percy’s life. He was lucky enough to share this passion with devoted wife, Mary. The bench in their loving memory is thus located just beside the bandstand, a rather fitting place, where they can receive as much joy from music as they gave.
Phyllis and Ralph Bennett
Phyllis and Ralph Bennett first moved to Cheltenham from North Wales in 1959 with their young family. Pittville Park was a firm favourite place to visit for the family, and although they moved away in the 1980s for a period, they all gradually returned. Ralph and Phyllis moved back in 2010 from Devon in order to be closer to their daughters. In her last few years, Phyllis expressed a wish for a memorial bench in the park – a wish that was granted in her honour when she passed away in 2016. Phyllis’ bench was located in an area of the park that Ralph was still able to visit with ‘his girls’. He died two years later, and the plaque on the bench was then altered to honour them both, reflecting their love for each other and their family home in Wales.
What is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare?No time to stand beneath the boughs And stare as long as sheep or cows: No time to see, when woods we pass, Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass: No time to see, in broad daylight, Streams full of stars, like skies at night: No time to turn at Beauty’s glance, And watch her feet, how they can dance: No time to wait till her mouth can Enrich that smile her eyes began? A poor life this if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare. Leisure, W.H.Davies, 1911
Those commemorated by the benches
1. Ron Pattinson
22. Charlie Hiscox
4. Gordon Calvert
25. Rose Averiss and Marlene Hutchinson
2. Juliet Shonali King
3. Mohammad Ali Kaveh 5. John Norman Chubb
6. Dr. Matthew Holness 7. Graham Fletcher 8. Stan Hurst 9. Clive Coe
10. Mike and Joyce Hughes 11. Samuel Lewis
12. Michael and Wendy Williams 13. Barbara Denman 14. Martin Seymour
15. Jean and Doug Biggs 16. Cath Daly
17. Maureen Griffin 18. Peggy Baxter
19. Ralph and Phyllis Bennett 20. Peter and Betty Flear 21. Sean Regan
23. Ivor and Beryl Bowl 24. Valerie Hopkins
26. Shane Lewis McGill 27. Albert Hands
28. Ann Marie Clarke nĂŠe Brady 29. Owen and Betty Holroyd 30. Eric and Kath Price
31. Stan and Lily White 32. Frances White
33. Dennis Roderick Tudor 34. Joan Susan Barker
35. Ronald and Joan Orr
36. Peggy and John Morris 37. Emily Govan
38. Dennis Crisp
39. Ray and Marjorie Faiers 40. Jonquil Harris
41. Captain John, Ida Mary, Lynda Patricia, and Robin John Adcroft.
42. Benjamin and Nora Angela Farmer
62. Des Brimfield
45. Vera Henderson
65. Elizabeth Atkinson
43. Edna Mary Bell Perrigo
44. Leslie and Freda Dimond
46. Nella Sykes and Jean Prust 47. Ken Nelmes
48. Richard G. Badham
49. Dora Lilian Coombs and Ida Ethel Grive 50. Jon Evans 51. Jill Ashby
52. Albert Arthur Stevens 53. Eric and Barbara 54. Valerie E. Jones
55. Joshua Paul Martin Stephens and Poppy Evelyn Jane Curtis
56. Peter and Margaret Normon 57. Daisy Eileen Martin
58. Betty and Vic Wilden 59. David John Gorton
60. Mary and Charles Flavell
61. Noreen and John Howard
63. Jeanette Helen (Kench) 64. Barbara Anne Dyas
66. Den and Peg Paxford 67. Merab L. James 68. Eileen Graves
69. Vida and Archie Chandler 70. Martyn Daws
71. Bill Skidmore
72. Nicky Norwood
73. Percy and Verdun Mary Candler 74. Geoffrey Winterburn
75. Philip William Godden 76. Joan Mary Marshal
77. Bill, Sharon and Jessie Wells 78. Brenda K.E. White 79. Chris Hearsey
Thank You
Thank you to every single person who met with me over the months it took to complete this project. Thank you for all the conversations, the commitment, and the trust.
In order of book sequence: My sincerest thanks to John Pickles and his wife Susan for taking the time to meet me on a few occasions and for giving me the confidence to push forward. And thank you for everything you do for Pittville Park. Thanks to Kate and Lila, and to Jayne for the gorgeous photo; to Laura, little Harry Ralph, Phil, and Wendy; to Wendy and Allie. I am hugely grateful to Wendy for seeing the potential in the project and for getting more of your family involved. Thanks to Dawn, Tilly, and Niamh for the wonderfully long conversation we had. Thank you Amy, Lisa, and Pete; Shelly; Sally; Susie. Thank you to Leigh, Rosie, Kayleigh, Frankie, and Florence; to Georgie; to Lynne, Chris, and Beth.
To Jacky Taylor, for giving up your morning to meet me in the park and for the lovely conversation that resulted. And thank you, Jacky, for providing a poem that is very dear to you to conclude this book. In this current climate, when we are being forced to slow down and appreciate who and what is around us, it is very fitting.
Thank you to everyone involved. The courage you all showed to be able to share your stories was truly admirable. I feel honoured to have met you all.