3.5.13 by The Emory Wheel

INDEX

Emory Events Calendar, Page 2

Police Record, Page 2

Student Life, Page 9

Crossword Puzzle, Page 8

Staff Editorial, Page 6

On Fire, Page 11

THE EMORY WHEEL Since 1919

The Independent Student Newspaper of Emory University www.emorywheel.com

Friday, April 5, 2013 SPEAKER

Every Tuesday and Friday STUDENT GOVERNMENT

EVENT

Run-Off Results for SGA, CC Announced

Paul Simon Scheduled To Visit in September

By Dustin Slade Asst. News Editor College junior Ye Ji Kim, College junior Jerry Lau and College sophomore Adam Chan were elected to the positions of Student Government Association (SGA) vice president, College Council (CC) president and CC vice president, respectively, in the run-off elections that were held Tuesday. In the student government general elections last Thursday, no candidate in these three categories received a majority of the student vote. A run-off was scheduled after the candidate or candidates with the lowest number of votes were dropped from the ballot. Kim, who has served as CC divisional treasurer in the past year, defeated Goizueta Business School sophomore, Governance Committee Chairperson and SGA sophomore representative Ted Guio for the position of SGA vice president by a final vote of 1,033 to 705. In the CC presidential election, Lau, the current CC chief of staff, defeated College junior and junior legislator Bisi Adeyemo by a count of 686 to 522 votes. Chan, a sophomore legislator, won the election for the position of CC vice president over College freshman and CC freshman legislator Reuben Lack by a tally of 655 to 479. Because “no confidence ” was an option on the ballot in the CC vice presidential election, neither of the two candidates received a majority of the vote. In the general election for SGA vice president, Guio had received 1,060 votes, Kim 937. Neither candidate earned a majority of the vote, though, because College sophomore and SGA Student Life Chair Calvin Li also ran for the position. Kim told the Wheel she was uneasy going into the run-off election knowing that she had received fewer

By Jordan Friedman Executive Editor The 2013 Richard Ellmann Lectures in Modern Literature featuring singer and songwriter Paul Simon will take place Sept. 22-24, the University announced yesterday. The event was originally scheduled for this February but was cancelled when Simon contracted the flu. This year ’s lectures will include two lectures from Simon, a musical performance and a conversation Paul Simon, former with U.S. Poet Laureate Billy member of Collins. the folk music Those who had originally pur- duo Simon chased tickets for & Garfunkel, the February event had planned will have to reto visit Emory register to get tickets for the lectures in February. in September. The series was highly anticipated for the Emory community, as tickets sold out in a record time after going on sale Dec. 3. “Paul Simon and his office have been very gracious and helpful about everything, and personally, I ’m just happy he ’s going to be able to come and do [the Ellmann Lectures], ” said Joseph Skibell, a professor of English and Creative Writing and director of lectures at Emory. Former Emory English professor

See TICKET, Page 4

James Crissman/Co-Editor

Comedian Hannibal Buress sings “Gibberish Rap” in Glenn Memorial Auditorium yesterday. Buress is a stand-up comedian and television screen writer who was formerly a co-host of “SNL” and “30 Rock.”

Buress Brings Laughs to Dooley’s Week By Dustin Slade Asst. News Editor Comedy Central ’s 2012 Best Club Comic Hannibal Buress rocked a packed Glenn Memorial Auditorium with his stand-up comedy act last night as part of this year ’s Dooley ’s Week lineup. Buress poked fun at a range of subjects from fraternity hazing to Jesus to the cost of an Emory education to technology. Prior to Buress ’ act, local Atlanta comedian Chris Jones warmed up the crowd with a few jokes. “Is this Emory University or Emory College? It ’s Emory University? That ’s fine. I don ’t know the difference, ” Jones said. “I never went to college. ” Following Jones ’ act, Buress began the show by hyping up the crowd and running around Glenn Memorial Auditorium, standing on the church benches, high-fiving students and

DINING

pushing his face into photographers ’ cameras. “This show is exhausting, ” Buress said. “I ’m not built for this s--t. ” Buress, who has made appearances on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, ” “Late Night with Conan O ’Brien ” and “Jimmy Kimmel Live!, ” among others, is a former staff writer for both “Saturday Night Live ” and “30 Rock. ” He is currently the co-host of Comedy Central ’s “Eric Andre Show ” and appears as a regular expert of FX ’s “Totally Based with W. Kamau Bell. ” Buress began his act by complaining about the venue. “I know that y ’all have regular buildings, ” Buress complained. “Why you put this s--t in a church? ” Buress made jokes about fraternity hazing and historically AfricanAmerican university band hazing. “Wanna ’ play Rick Ross at halftime?, ” Buress joked. “Then I gotta

beat the s--t out of you. ” Buress also commented on dependence on technology. “There have been times I ’ve been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, ‘Time to go home, ’ ” Buress joked. Many students said they enjoyed the act and thought Hannibal was entertaining. “I thought he really worked the crowd and was funny, ” College freshman Mark Leone said. “A lot of people were laughing. ” Students on the Student Programming Council were glad about Buress ’ performance and explained that they believe his act was hilarious. “It went so much better than I expected, ” Student Programming Council (SPC) Speakers Chair and College senior Corey Teich said. “I was a little nervous because he ’s an

See BURESS, Page 4

AWARDS

By Nicholas Sommariva News Editor

Food Advisory Committee Emory (FACE) held a meeting to review this year ’s accomplishments last night in the Cox Ballroom. FACE is a student organization that holds monthly open meetings to receive student feedback and relay information from Emory Dining. After attendees served themselves salad, chicken and macaroni and cheese from Emory Dining, FACE board members listed the achievements from their respective dining locations. College freshman Bryce Robertson, a Dobbs Market at the Dobbs University Center (DUC) representative, informed the nearly full ballroom about changes the committee implemented at the DUC during the past year. Some of these changes included making sure chicken is always available to students, offering cheese pizza and improving the cleanliness of dishes. The DUC also has a new head

See OFFICIALS, Page 4

College senior Eduardo Garcia has received the Lucius Lamar McMullan Award for his service to the Emory and Atlanta community, the University announced on Tuesday. The McMullan award recognizes a graduating senior who “show[s] extraordinary promise of becoming our future leaders and rare potential for service to their community, the nation and the world, ” according to an April 2 Office of Undergraduate Education press release. The winner of the award receives a $25,000 prize to use as he or she wishes. Garcia will officially receive the award at the College diploma ceremony at graduation this May. “I remember that when I was sitting in Dean Forman ’s office, I was very nervous because I had no clue why they wanted to meet with me, ” Garcia wrote in an email to the Wheel. “Once they mentioned that I won the McMullan award, I was mildly confused; it wasn ’t until they told me what the McMullan award was that I was overcome with joy. ” Garcia is a Chemistry major also minoring in Global Health, Culture and Society. Additionally, he is involved in Residence Life and Housing as a Sophomore Advisor and a Resident Advisor. At Emory, Garcia has been heavily involved in community service

NEWS DOOLEY ’S WEEK

GOES GREEN WITH FIRST ‘ZERO WASTE ’ EVENTS

...

PAGE 3

Ye Ji Kim, College junior and CC divisional treasurer, will be SGA vice president. Jerry Lau, College junior and CC chief of staff, was elected CC president. Adam Chan, College sophomore and CC sophomore legislator, will be next year’s CC vice president. Results were announced on Tuesday. votes than Guio did in the general election. “I knew I needed to really reach out to the student body, ” Kim wrote in an email to the Wheel. “Although I felt troubled about the fact that I was behind some votes from the opponent, I was confident in my campaign team and all of those who had supported me throughout. ” Lau also expressed his excitement following the announcement of his victory. He also said he would not have been able to win the election without the support and help from his campaign staff. The race in the general election was so close that Lau decided to continue to campaign door-to-door with his campaign staff, he said.

See ELECTION, Page 4

ROMAN RUCKUS

FACE Garcia Receives McMullan Reflects Award for Service to Emory On Year’s Changes By Karishma Mehrotra Asst. News Editor

Volume 94, Issue 42

Eduardo Garcia, College senior, won the McMullan Award for his service and leadership at Emory. by “devoting much of his work to immigrant and refugee communities in Atlanta. ” “I believe that I have committed myself to my passions and allowed for this to be the driving force of all my actions, ” he wrote. “When I find something that inspires me, I do not let the momentum die out; I always try to find a way in which I can get involved in my community and help out those individuals that are in desperate need of it. ” Garcia has volunteered more than 500 hours of community service for the AmeriCorps Jumpstart Program. The program helps prepare children from low-income communities to succeed in school. He was recognized twice at Emory as Team Leader of the Year. According to Associate Director of the Honor Council Jason Ciejka, who served on the selection committee, 14 students were nominated for the award this year. The press release states that Garcia

See MCMULLAN, Page 5

OP-EDS THE BARKLEY FORUM DEBATES AFFIRMATIVE PAGE 7 ACTION ...

Erin Baker/Staff

ollege junior Chris Alfonso (center) joined in Roman-themed Wonderful Wednesday fun during Dooley’s Week on Asbury Circle. In addition to an arena for gladiators, the event hosted a dance battle between The Spoke’s fake Dooley, Fooley, with two stormtroopers and the real Lord Dooley.

STUDENT GOVERNMENT

SGA to Use More Activities Fee Money By Rupsha Basu Staff Writer The incoming Student Government Association (SGA) will receive two percent of the Student Activities Fee (SAF) starting next semester, a one percent increase from this year, following a decision made by the outgoing legislature. The SAF consists of the $86 that students pay each semester as part of their Emory tuition. SGA and other

STUDENT LIFE

POSTERFUSE COLLABORATES WITH BROTIPS ... PAGE 9

divisional councils — or those that support and oversee organizations in different Emory schools, such as College Council (CC) — use the fee to fund student activities and initiatives, specifically those that SGA-chartered organizations run. SGA determines how the SAF is split among the divisional councils. In light of concerns at the most recent SGA legislative session regarding limited funds left for the remainder of the school year, SGA executive

members informed the legislature of the one-percent increase. Indeed, this year ’s SGA has been reluctant to fund certain events because of the low balance remaining in its account. During the most recent meeting, coordinators of the annual TEDxEmory event at first asked SGA for $15,000. SGA, however, only has about

See LEGISLATURE, Page 5

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THE EMORY WHEEL

NEWS

Friday, April 5, 2013

NEWS ROUNDUP National, Local and Higher Education News • On Thursday, April 4, Democratic Connecticut Gov. Dannel Malloy signed into law what some advocates call the nation ’s most sweeping gun legislation. The law bans some of the weapons and highcapacity magazines used in the December Newtown, Conn. shooting. It also requires background checks for all gun purchases. In addition to Connecticut, New York and Colorado have passed gun-control legislation since the Newtown massacre. While proponents of gun control call the legislation “historic, ” critics point out that such regulations would have done nothing to stop shooters like Adam Lanza, who killed 20 students and six teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School with his mother ’s registered weapon on Dec. 14, 2012. • Employees at fast food restaurants like McDonald ’s, Domino ’s, Wendy ’s and Pizza Hut demanded higher wages at a demonstration in New York City on Thursday, April

4. The protesters, who on average receive $8.25 per hour, want fast food establishments to pay them an hourly wage of $15. New York ’s state legislature voted last month to raise the minimum wage from $7.25 to $9 by 2016. • On Wednesday night, a black Jeep Liberty carrying three people fell 50 feet off the side of the Martin Luther King, Jr. Drive bridge in downtown Atlanta after crashing through a guardrail. The SUV was traveling eastbound when the driver, cited for being unlicensed, experienced a medical emergency and turned left before falling from the overpass between Centennial Park and Olympic Park Drive. All three people in the vehicle were taken to Grady Memorial Hospital in critical condition with minor injuries.

— Compiled by Staff Writer Lydia O ’Neal

Corrections • In the last issue of the Wheel, a staff editorial incorrectly referred to the Student Programming Council (SPC) as the Student Programming Committee. • In the last issue of the Wheel, a front-page headline read “Taste of Emory Kicks of Dooley ’s Week. ” This should have read “Taste of Emory Kicks Off Dooley ’s Week. ” The Wheel reports and corrects all errors published in the newspaper and at emorywheel.com. Please contact Editor-in-Chief Arianna Skibell at arianna.skibell@emory.edu.

Dobbs University Center, Room 540 605 Asbury Circle, Atlanta, GA 30322 Business (404) 727-6178 Editor in Chief Arianna Skibell (404) 727-0279 Founded in 1919, The Emory Wheel is the financially and editorially independent, student-run newspaper of Emory University in Atlanta. The Wheel is a member publication of Media Council, Emory ’s organization of student publications. The Wheel reserves the rights to all content as it appears in these pages, and permission to reproduce material must be granted by the editor in chief. The Wheel is published twice weekly on Tuesdays and Fridays during the academic year, except during University holidays and scheduled publication intermissions. A single copy of the Wheel is free of charge. To purchase additional copies, please call (404) 727-6178. The statements and opinions expressed in the Wheel are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the Wheel Editorial Board or of Emory University, its faculty, staff or administration. The Wheel is also available online at www.emorywheel.com.

POLICE RECORD • On March 30 at 10:30 a.m., officers received a call from an individual who said his bike had been stolen from the front of Turman Residence Hall. According to the victim, the bike was purple with a white seat and was locked to a bike rack with a cable lock. The bike is valued at $234. • On March 30 at 11:18 p.m., Emory police responded to a noise complaint from a student located at the Pi Kappa Alpha house regarding loud noises coming from the Alpha Tau Omega house located at 12 Eagle Row. When confronted by officers, a

fraternity member agreed to turn the noise down. • On March 31, officers received a call from a student located at Clairmont Tower that claimed that sometime between March 17 and March 30, her room was entered and her Apple MacBook Pro was stolen. According to the individual, she leaves her door unlocked at different times. The laptop is valued at $1500.

This Week In Emory History

The cable and lock that were used to hold the bike to the railing were found in a nearby trashcan.

— Compiled by Asst. News Editor Dustin Slade

• On March 30 at 1:30 p.m., Emory police received a call from a staff member who said his bike was stolen from Woodruff Circle earlier in the day.

April 5, 1995 More than 50 students marched in silent protest of a Confederate flag flying in front of the Kappa Alpha Order house on Fraternity Row on Wednesday, April 5, 1995. Demanding the flag be taken down and that the cannon on the KA lawn be removed, the protesters walked from Cox Hall to the sidewalk in front of the fraternity house. Reporters from Channels 5 and 46 filmed them as they passed concert-

EVENTS AT EMORY FRIDAY Event: Animal Ethics Conference: Beastly Morality Time: 9 a.m. — 3 p.m. Location: Center for Ethics Event: Work and Vulnerability Conference Time: 9 a.m. — 5 p.m. Location: Emory University School of Law room 575 Event: Incarnation Doctrine and Art Theory Time: 10 a.m. — 5 p.m. Location: Carlos Museum Reception Hall

SATURDAY Event: Dissertation Writing Boot Camp Time: 9 a.m. — 5 p.m. Location: Woodruff Library Research Commons Event: Work and Vulnerability Conference Time: 9 a.m. — 5 p.m. Location: Emory University School of Law Room 575 Event: Athletics — Men ’s Tennis Time: 1 — 3 p.m. Location: Woodruff P.E. Center

Event: Screening of “Maximum Tolerated Dose ” and Discussion with the Director Time: 4 — 6:30 p.m. Location: White Hall Room 205

Event: Ally Costello, piano; Carey Xiaoqing Shi, piano Time: 2 p.m. Location: Emerson Concert Hall, Schwartz Center for Performing Arts

Event: “The Cherry Orchard ” Time: 7 p.m. Location: Mary Gray Munroe Theater, Dobbs University Center

Event: Sukyi Nyima: A Tibetan Folk Opera Time: 4 — 6:15 p.m. Location: Cannon Chapel

Event: Barenaked Voices — 10th Annual Emory Student A Cappella Celebration Time: 7 p.m. Location: Emerson Concert Hall, Schwartz Center for Performing Arts

Event: Richard Upton, violin Time: 5 p.m. Location: Emerson Concert Hall, Schwartz Center for Performing Arts Event: “The Cherry Orchard ” Time: 7 p.m. Location: Mary Gray Munroe

Theater, Dobbs University Center

SUNDAY Event: University Worship with The Rev. Dr. Jim Lawson Time: 11 a.m. — 12 p.m. Location: Cannon Chapel Event: Dallas Albritton, violin; Alexander Zhang, oboe Time: 12 p.m. Location: Performing Arts Studio, Schwartz Center for Performing Arts Event: Dissertation Writing Boot Camp Time: 12 — 8 p.m. Location: Woodruff Library Research Commons Event: “The Cherry Orchard ” Time: 2 p.m. Location: Mary Gray Munroe Theater, Dobbs University Center Event: Heidi Gruhler, violin; Benito Thompson, violin Time: 2 p.m. Location: Emerson Concert Hall, Schwartz Center for Performing Arts Event: Anthony Bancroft, trumpet; Cameron Edwards, trumpet Time: 3:30 p.m. Location: Performing Arts Studio, Schwartz Center for

Performing Arts Event: Robert Lynch, organ Time: 8 p.m. Location: Glenn Auditorium

MONDAY Event: Creativity & Arts Magical Monday Time: 11:30 a.m. — 2:30 p.m. Location: Asbury Circle Event: Discussion on the NIH Biomedical Research Workforce Report Time: 12 — 1:30 p.m. Location: Woodruff Library Jones Room Event: “Novel signalling networks that prevent the development of autoimmune and inflammatory diseases ” Time: 4 — 5 p.m. Location: Woodruff Health Sciences Center and Administration Building (WHSCAB), Ground Floor Auditorium

THE EMORY WHEEL

NEWS

Friday, April 5, 2013

Spotted: Dooley

Students submitted their best Instagram photos of Dooley to the Wheel this week using #DooleysWeek. Top Row, Left to Right: Stephen Fowler, Nicholas Sommariva, Whitney Pannington; Middle: Lauren Brager, Emily Lapham, Ellen Shapiro (large): Bottom: Francesco De Palo, Jamie Landa

NEWS

Friday, April 5, 2013

SUSTAINABILITY

SPC Plans ‘Zero Waste’ At Dooley’s Week Events By Shivangi Singh Staff Writer

this year ’s SPC Homecoming cochair and a member of several other SPC committees, said she was excitThe Student Programming Council ed to partake in this initiative. SPC (SPC) partnered up with Emory ’s wanted to also make Homecoming Office of Sustainability Initiatives Ball “zero waste, ” but SPC thought of for the first time ever this year to the idea too close to the event. make the first three “I think [zero events of Dooley ’s waste] is such a Week “zero waste ” great idea we can “I think that by ensuring that easily implement, ” all items were sometimes people get a Iyer said. “Dooley ’s either recyclable or little overwhelmed, and Week co-chairs compostable. they think that recycling this year are essenThis year, at tially following up or composting can be a on conversations least 90 percent of the waste col- little daunting especially that we started last lected from Taste semester. ” when there are a lot of Emory, Dooling Cumbie-Drake people ... ” Pianos and Trivia said she hopes to Night were diverged incorporate this — Emily Cumbie-Drake, “zero-waste ” confrom the landfill. sustainability coordinator cept into other Selecting these three events speUniversity events. cifically rather No future plans, than ensuring “zero though, she said, waste ” at every Dooley ’s Week event are set in stone, but she intends to resulted from the fact that SPC want- continue the partnership with SPC ed to keep the initiative simple given and use this relationship to reach out that this was a fairly new idea, said to other student groups, depending Emily Cumbie-Drake, sustainability on the response she receives from coordinator. students. This effort is part of the Emory “I am curious, ” Cumbie-Drake Office of Sustainability ’s original said. “I am really excited to see what goal of diverting at least 65 percent will happen. I think that sometimes of waste at Emory from the landfills people get a little overwhelmed, and by 2015. they think that recyCumbie-Drake cling or compostsaid that currenting can be a little “I think [zero waste] is daunting especially ly, Emory is at 35 percent of landfill such a great idea we can when there are a lot divergence. She of people — kind easily implement.” sought SPC ’s partof like Cox Hall nership last year to in the middle of — Meena Iyer, lunch time. People collaborate in an College junior and SPC’s are overwhelmed, effort to decrease landfill waste at Homecoming co-chair [and they end up] Emory events. just putting it in the “It ’s great that trash can. ” they have gotten on All three events board with trying to make their event had displays and volunteers near the more sustainable, ” Cumbie-Drake composting and recycling bins to said. “They are totally willing to make the process less intimidating, work with us. Hopefully, this will be Cumbie-Drake said. a good way to show other organizaThe lack of trash cans at all the tions that have big events that it ’s events, she added, further encouraged not that difficult necessarily to make sustainability. — Contact Shivangi Singh at your events more sustainable. ” ssing62@emory.edu Meena Iyer, College junior and

Ticket Sales To Include Emory Lottery

chef who formerly worked at the Ritz Carlton and the Four Seasons luxury hotels. Kenny Hemmer, the director of financial operations of the food administration, said the change in hours at the DUC — including the elimination of Late Night so the DUC could remain open later — was probably the biggest accomplishment this year. Most schools do not make changes like that one, he said. Cox Hall underwent more than $1 million in kitchen renovations this year including new kitchen flooring, equipment, a bakery, offices, a storage room and employee rooms, according to Sheena Desai, a College freshman and Cox Hall representative. She also said Cox Hall added a second sandwich line and a baked chips and half-sandwich, half-soup option. Some of the other changes included more to-go options, registers, snack options and fresh vegetables as well as new beverage machines and cups, according to Desai. She also said that gluten-free options would be added next year. As for the Rollins Café at the Rollins School of Public Health, College junior and representative Kaleb Swanson said the team revamped the menu, created separate lines and added to-go options and weekly specials featuring various countries. “We just want to stress that all these changes have been because of

what you guys are telling us, ” FACE co-chair and College sophomore Karoline Porcello told the audience. After the committee chairs opened the floor to questions, a student asked about Chick-fil-A ’s removal. Senior Director of the Food Administration Dave Furhman said that they were still “dealing with existing contracts ” and “figuring out cancellation policies. ” He also said they will be announcing the final decisions about Cox Hall near Commencement.

“Every time you make a constructive comment on their website, it is funneled to us.” — Kenny Hemmer, director of financial operations for the food administration

“Cox Hall will be different in the fall, ” Furhman said to the audience. “That is all we can say definitely. ” Hemmer ended the meeting with praises for the work the FACE has done. “Every time you make a constructive comment on their website, it is funneled to us, ” Hemmer said to the audience. “They have done a phenomenal job. ” Furhman later told the Wheel that FACE came together as a commit-

DOOLING PIANOS

Continued from Page 1 Ron Schuchard established the event in 1988 in honor of Ellman, who served as the University ’s first Robert W. Woodruff professor in the 1980s. Public complimentary tickets will be available beginning Monday, Sept. 9 at the Schwartz Center for Performing Arts or by phone. Tickets sales will not take place online. Members of the Emory community — students, faculty and staff — can also enter their names in a lottery for complimentary tickets starting on Monday, Aug. 26 through Saturday, Aug. 31, according to an April 4 University press release. “People who are eligible for the lottery will find out before tickets are given away whether they have been chosen in the lottery, ” Skibell specified. “It ’s a way ... to make sure those tickets are going to the Emory community. It gives Emory people a headstart. ” Skibell added that people who signed up for the February event have to re-register because “we just weren ’t sure if everything would come together in the same way. ” For example, he said, there was no guarantee that Collins would be able to attend and whether the same venues would be available. Three of the events will take place in Glenn Memorial Auditorium in September, rather than two, and one will take place in Schwartz. “It was an executive decision to just start from scratch, ” Skibell said. “Because of Simon ’s and Collin ’s schedules, we weren ’t certain what the new venue would look like or even when it would be ... We weren ’t really prepared for the crush of the giveaway for the Simon tickets. ” Specifically, the event will include a lecture titled “Sailing on an Endless Sea: My Life as a Songwriter ” on Sunday, Sept. 22; the conversation with both Simon and Collins on Sept. 23; a lecture titled “View from Cloud: The Solitary Artist in a Collaborative Culture, ” also on Sept. 23; and Simon ’s performance on Sept. 24. More information about tickets will be available at www.emory.edu/ ellman at a later date. — Contact Jordan Friedman at jordan.m.friedman@emory.edu

Officials Praise Students’ Involvement in FACE Changes Continued from Page 1

THE EMORY WHEEL

tee and did “extraordinarily ” well at bringing feedback to life to make campus life better. “I think the committee ... embodies what campus life here is all about, ” Furhman said. “It ’s about involvement. It ’s about feedback. It ’s about being part of the community. ” Furhman said the greatest changes this year were those regarding the recently announced Student Activity and Academic Center breakfast option as well as the meal exchange at the Common Grounds at Cannon Chapel. This year ’s food changes had much more student involvement than previous years, Hemmer said. “I refer to food in Campus Dining as the common denominator, ” Furhman said. “What better way to bring people together than food? ” Porcello and Michael Sacks, College sophomore and FACE cochair, will continue to serve as committee chairs for the next school year. Sacks said this year was a learning experience. “It was the first time I really started something from the bottom up, ” Sacks said. “When [Porcello] and I came up, there really wasn ’t much. ” He said the largest obstacle this year was learning the committee ’s limitations. FACE spent much of this year learning what the committee could and could not do. Next year, Sacks said the committee will start working on sustainability initiatives across campus. — Contact Karishma Mehrotra at kmehrot@emory.edu

James Crissman/Co-Editor

wo grand pianists go head to head during “Dooling Pianos” Tuesday night at Cox Ballroom. The event, sponsored by the Student Programming Council, featured music from rock-and-roll to R&B, played by two professional piano players.

Election Winners React to Victory with Excitement Continued from Page 1

“I was not very confident at all, ” he said. “My opponent is a really “My campaign team helped me strong debater, and he has been camadjust to be able to reach out to paigning really hard, so it was really more people, ” Lau difficult going into said. “One of the the run-off, and I things I did differ- “I was not very confident really had to step up ently was I decided game. ” at all. My opponent is myAs to go door-to-door for the SGA a really strong debater, presidential elecand speak directly with students more, tion, which also did and he has been and I think that realcampaigning really hard, not result in a winly helped. Students ner following the so it was really difficult general election, realized I was really looking to help going into the run-off, the SGA Elections them. ” and I really had to step Board declared Chan said he was College junior up my game.” ecstatic when he and current SGA first heard the news Representative-at— Adam Chan, Large Raj Patel from his friends that he had won. College sophomore, the winner over “I was actually CC sophomore legislator, Goizueta Business near the [Dobbs CC vice president School junior and University Center] SGA Chief of Staff when it happened, ” Matthew Willis Chan said. “I ran down the hall, and after a two-and-a-half hour meeting I screamed. ” on Monday, the Wheel reported on He noted that his run-off election Tuesday. — Contact Dustin Slade at was difficult given the abilities of his dpslade@emory.edu opponent.

Buress Brings New Material To Emory Continued from Page 1 amazing comedian, but he ’s not in movies or on TV or anything, but it was packed. ” Some students who were previous fans of Buress ’ thought his act last night was fresh and an improvement from his previous acts. “I ’ve listened to a lot of his stuff before, and a lot of the stuff he has said tonight was new stuff that I ’ve never really heard before, ” College freshman Michael Belles said. “I thought some stuff was better than a lot of his old [material]. ” Teich agreed with Belles that Buress ’ new material really brought a new side of the comedian into the fold. “I thought he killed it, ” Teich said. “I ’ve watched a lot of his standup, and all the jokes he has had were brand new. He was definitely a little edgy, but I like that in a comedian. He was happy to be there, and we could tell. ”

— Contact Dustin Slade at dpslade@emory.edu

NEWS

THE EMORY WHEEL

Friday, April 5, 2013

Legislature Unable to Fund Some Events Due to Depleted Budget Continued from Page 1 $9,700 remaining in its budget for the remainder of the year. “We ’ll take whatever [SGA] can give us, ” College sophomore and TEDxEmory Treasurer Ariella Iancu said. In former SGA President Adam McCall ’s ( ‘12C) administration had reduced SGA ’s portion to one percent. SGA reduced the SAF because money was not being fully spent, according to Assistant Dean for Campus Life and Director of the Office of Leadership and Services (OSLS) Matthew Garrett. But later that same year, it became clear that the 2011-2012 SGA was using up the money too quickly, he said. A repeal of this bill, however, requires a year for it to take into effect, which meant that the 20122013 SGA could only use one percent of the SAF. “Hopefully, the two-percent level will be the right balance between adequate funds to fully operate SGA each year, balanced with giving as much money back to the divisions to spend on programming, ” Garrett said. According to SGA President and College senior Ashish Gandhi, McCall ’s administration decided that SGA should allocate more money to the divisional councils. The amount of money SGA spends

varies each year based on which campus organizations request funds and the amount of money SGA decides to allocate to these organizations. In regard to the TEDxEmory bill at Monday ’s evening, because the bill originally asked for more money than SGA has, legislators were faced

“Hopefully, the twopercent level will be the right balance between adequate funds to fully operate SGA each year, balanced with giving as much money back to the divisions to spend ...” — Matt Garrett, assistant dean of campus life and director of the Office of Leadership and Services with the task of suggesting their own amounts to fund TEDxEmory. Some members said they were unsure of how much money would both satisfy the event ’s coordinators and leave enough remaining in SGA ’s budget for the remainder of the academic year. SGA Speaker of the Legislature and College senior Milan Udawatta

suggested an amount of $5,000. The amount, however, failed to garner a majority of the vote. Eventually, the bill was amended to read $4,000, which is $11,000 less than TEDxEmory ’s ideal amount. SGA members like SGA Governance Committee Chair and Goizueta Business School sophomore Ted Guio were reluctant to spend nearly half of SGA ’s remaining money when other divisional councils could still potentially fund TEDxEmory. TEDxEmory will take place on April 20, so SGA voted to table the bill for next Monday ’s meeting. The amount SGA will fund for TEDxEmory has yet to be determined. Similar incidents occurred earlier in the year. When SGA discussed funding Emory Chinese Student Association ’s (ECSA) annual Lunar Banquet in Janurary, SGA ’s Finance Committee expressed concerns that it would be giving ECSA more money than they gave Indian Cultural Exchange (ICE) for Diwali. The committee compared the two events because they are the largest cultural events that Emory organizations host. Eventually, Gandhi overrode those concerns, and SGA provided the full amount for which ECSA asked. — Contact Rupsha Basu at

rupsha.basu@emory.edu

FUN FIGHTS

Erin Baker/Staff

ollege sophomore Shemlah Naphish (left) and College freshman Huyen Nguyen engage in battle on Wonderful Wednesday as part of this year’s Dooley’s Week. In addition to gladiator-style fun, students could meet with and learn about various clubs around campus.

McMullan Selection Committee Includes Faculty, Admins Continued from Page 1 was nominated for the prestigious McMullan award because of his “extraordinary charisma, generosity and kindness. ” Ciejka wrote in an email to the Wheel that the committee consisted of 12 members including administrators, faculty from the sciences, social sciences, humanities and the arts and

representatives from Campus Life. “The committee considered not only the academic achievements of the nominees but also their leadership and their service to Emory and the wider community, ” he said. Garcia said he is not quite sure what he wants to spend the money on quite yet. “One of the things that I am passionate about is eliminating the bar-

riers that prevent people from accessing care, ” he wrote. “Therefore, I am trying to think of the best way to use the money to help improve access to care in my community. ” Garcia will be attending the Paul L. Foster School of Medicine at Texas Tech University of the school next year. — Contact Nicholas Sommariva at nsommar@emory.edu

EDITORIALS THE EMORY WHEEL

CONTRIBUTE

Friday, April 5, 2013 Editorials Editor: Priyanka Krishnamurthy (pkrish4@emory.edu)

Our Opinion

Disappointed with SGA Election Decision

Email: pkrish4@emory.edu

Zachary Elkwood

Zachary Elkwood is a member of the Class of 2015. His cartoons appear in every other Friday issue of the Wheel.

Candidate Challenge Procedures Need Revision

Student Government Association (SGA) presidential candidate, current SGA Chief of Staff and Goizueta Business School junior Matthew Willis raised claims of cheating against his opponent in the election, College junior and SGA Representative-at-Large Raj Patel. Willis ’ claims included allegations of campaigning via social media, email exchanges and personal conversations with students on the day of the election, which according to the SGA elections bylaws, violates the rules. After the SGA Elections Board held a meeting to hear both sides and concluded that Patel did, in fact, violate some campaign rules, he was still awarded the position of SGA president. The Elections Board found that Patel ’s actions, which included a short-lived post on a Facebook group and an email to the Clairmont Campus on behalf of the Hall Council, were not influential enough to have swayed the outcome of the election, and Patel was assigned 20 hours of community service as punishment for his actions. We at the Wheel are troubled by the Elections Board ’s decision to award the election to Patel in spite of his violations and believe that the situation raises several issues regarding campaign procedures. We are disappointed that Patel cheated in the first place. Regardless of the Election Board ’s ultimate conclusion, Patel ’s actions were a violation of the campaign procedure rules and exhibit a concerning lack of integrity. The rule prohibiting campaigning on election day is intended to ensure a fair election for all candidates and incentivizes candidates to campaign in advance of election day. While it was determined that Patel ’s actions did not affect the outcome of the election, the fact remains that he broke the rules. In general, cheating should be impermissible, regardless of the extent to which it was successful. Furthermore, we feel that the Elections Board ’s punishment of 20 community service hours assigned to Patel is insufficient to deter similar cheating in the future. Such a punishment is a minor inconvenience and appears to be more cursory than disciplinary in nature. We believe the Elections Board should take a “no tolerance ” stance on cheating of this sort in the future. We also feel this incident exposes a serious flaw in the rules and procedures of student government elections. It is clear that there is an essential misunderstanding in what constitutes “campaigning, ” especially when it comes to campaigning via social networking sites like Facebook. Section Three of the elections bylaws states, “On the date of the election, no candidate, campaign staffer, nor any other individual excluding the Elections Board will be allowed to encourage individuals to vote... ” We feel that this rule is inadequate because it does not explicitly state the mediums through which candidates might engage in campaigning on election day. While some methods of campaigning are more obvious — flyers, speeches, etc. — others, such as posting on Facebook, are not as obvious. Ultimately, we believe that the Elections Board should have disqualified Patel for his violations. However, it is clear that the issue at hand comes from within the elections bylaws, not the procedure by which the Elections Board reached its conclusion. While the bylaws list possibilities for punishment, the rules do not provide for specific punishments to particular crimes that would deter cheating in the future. We recommend that the Elections Board revise the election bylaws to fix these discrepancies and prevent issues such as this one in the future. Twenty hours of community service does not make up for cheating in any way. Moving forward, we hope that the Elections Board and all future candidates will learn a lesson from this incident. Furthermore, in the name of efficiency, efficacy and cooperation, we ask that the members of the SGA move past this incident and forgive Patel for his violations. It is more important that campus issues be solved than a grudge held, and we wish the new SGA the best of luck for the coming year. The above staff editorial represents the majority opinion of the Wheel ’s editorial board.

PRIYANKA KRISHNAMURTHY

On Living: We ’re All Sad Here

Editorial Roundup

College editorials from across the country The Michigan Daily University of Michigan Ann Arbor Wednesday April Third, 2013 In its staff editorial, titled “Coding for Success ” the Daily staff discusses the need for the college to expand its computer science department so those in various majors can learn a necessary skill they can apply once they graduate from the university. The New York Times published an article recognizing the pervasion of computer science into college curriculum. Arguments reference the need for “elements of computational thinking ” in all careers and majors. Wheaton College in Massachusetts offers a course called “Computing for Poets. ” The subtext reads: “a love of the written (and digital) word. ” Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh offers “Principles of Computation ” for those not in the major itself. This reflects an effort to develop skills in technological literacy, an ever more important skill. The University should take a more integrative perspective in its approach in offering the hard sciences — one that could also appeal to those students outside these majors. It ’s the responsibility of the University to offer relevant courses, but they also need to be accessible and welcoming. All too often LSA students are turned off by the thought of taking science classes because of concerns

that they might not have the necessary background in these subjects. Headlines over the past three years have noted the lack of grade inflation — and possibly increased deflation — in science, technology, engineering and math majors. There ’s an observed 40- to 60-percent major-dropout rates from engineering, meaning that about half of those intending on an engineering major ended up switching out. These figures could be compensated by a program that partners LSA with the Electrical Engineering and Computer Science Department in the College of Engineering. The program would develop a curriculum that engages, encourages and intrigues those outside of engineering fields. Chemistry 215 double honors is an example of this. The final project involves coding a website to represent an organic molecular mechanism. Across campus, students would benefit by learning technological methods, literacy and thinking, if integrated into curricula. Technological skills are a needed bonus in the job market. Computer-related occupations, in general, pay an average of $73,710 according to the Bureau of Labor Stastics. Entry level salaries for computer science positions have grown the fastest and according to U.S. News, four of the “top 10 Best Jobs ” relate directly to computer science.

THE EMORY WHEEL Arianna Skibell EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Jordan Friedman Executive Editor Lane Billings Managing Editor News Editor Nicholas Sommariva Editorials Editor Priyanka Krishnamurthy Sports Editor Nathaniel Ludewig Student Life Co-Editors Jenna Kingsley Elizabeth Howell Arts & Entertainment Editor Annelise Alexander Photo Editor Emily Lin Asst. News Editor Karishma Mehrotra Dustin Slade Asst. A&E Editor Emelia Fredlick

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The Emory Wheel welcomes letters and op-ed submissions from the Emory community. Letters should be limited to 300 words and op-eds should be limited to 700. Those selected may be shortened to fit allotted space or edited for grammar, punctuation and libelous content. Submissions reflect the opinions of individual writers and not of the Wheel Editorial Board or Emory University. Send e-mail to askibel@emory.edu or postal mail to The Emory Wheel, Drawer W, Emory University, Atlanta, Ga. 30322.

Priyanka Pai | Contributor

Existentialism and Life in the Mean There ’s something contemplative about bus rides and staring out the window, trying to catch a glimpse of all that passes you by. It ’s kind of like life in the abstract; sometimes you feel like you ’re just a bystander, watching everything go by quicker than you wanted or expected. You just want to beg and plead for life to take a break, to stop rapidly changing. During my contemplation on the bus, I too wanted to cry out to the bus driver, I wanted to ask him to slow down so I can get a better look at the blooming spring flowers. Unfortunately, I knew this was an irrational and selfish request and through my selfdeliberation, my mind ended up on Jonathan Warkentine ’s piece titled “Death and the Meaning of Life. ” As you can infer from the headline, the article ponders large, philosophical questions that are subjectively interpreted, and as I continued to think about the article, I tried to answer all of the existential questions put forward, wondering what the point of life really was. After reading Nicomachean Ethics for the second time in my Ancient Greek and Medieval philosophy class, I realized Aristotle was really on to something. The purpose to life is reaching what he calls eudaimonia or happiness. Happiness is an essential feeling that can only be found through living in between what is excess and what is deficient. For example, we can look at two vices: being foolhardy and being cowardly. In life it

is important to fear your future but only to the extent that that fear motivates you — being overly confident has the potential to depress you if you don ’t reach all of the goals you set for yourself. Therefore, it is necessary to find the median, the balance between confidence and fear, or two vices in general. The Yin and the Yang. The unity. The melting of an ice cube on a concrete pavement, morphing into it. We must stop exaggerating the little things in life that for some reason influence our perspectives. It ’s as if we ’re all emotional masochists, enjoying the unnecessary, mental pain we put ourselves through. Your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you? There are more fish in the sea. You made a 50 percent on your economics exam? Recognize you ’re not pushing yourself to your limit and try harder. Your parents want you to be a doctor? Do what makes you, not someone else, feel fulfilled. Live through your own eyes and crush the glasses that people ask you to wear. Suffering is inevitable and it hurts, I get it. But it ’s about time we recognize that life isn ’t fair and that shouldn ’t stop us from being happy. There is always more we can do to ease the inevitable hardships that come with life. We find meaning through obliterating the things that hold us back and embracing the beauty of what we love. My existentialism has helped me get through a lot of difficult times. Sometimes, you start to feel so bad about

everything that has been happening around you. That your life has hit a slump and you ’re unable to crawl out of it. You feel disheartened and helpless. Like you can ’t breathe. You feel like you could have prevented all of the atrocious things that are happening in your life and you feel like you ’re alone. All alone. I know I feel like this more than I should but as time has progressed, I ’ve realized I ’m wrong. Very wrong. I ’ve realized that as a human being I have the capability to change my situation. There are always highs that will compensate for the lows; it ’s just a question of how I posit my attitude. Why should I waste precious moments that will last for eternity? Why should I sit and be unhappy about things that will eventually pass? Why can ’t I just live? So, after all of this, what is the point of life? It ’s pushing yourself. It ’s staying up late correcting a poem you wrote for that one creative writing class that has your heart and soul. It ’s editing an article for the fifth time because you know it could be better. It ’s testing your limits and showing everyone who ever doubted you that you never listened. It ’s about happiness and finding the things that easily get you there. And it ’s about recognizing that life is terrible sometimes, but all you can do is embrace the darkness and find a light.

Editorials Editor Priyanka Krishnamurthy is a College sophomore from Coppell, Texas.

A S T U D E N T ’ S R E S P O N S E T O T I M W I S E ’ S “ S TAT E O F R A C E ”

Changing Discourse: Replacing “People of Color” With “White”

After witnessing the appalling tragedy of Tim Wise ’s lecture consisting of a crowded audience of mostly people of color, I have reached the conclusion that the intent of “State of Race ” reserves contempt, if not hatred, for the White race. As provocative as this claim may seem, consider how Mr. Wise ’s anti-White rhetoric drew applause and cheers from the audience. The intent of Social Justice Week is to “offer opportunities for engagement, dialogue around issues of diversity and race. ”

Although the events and programs sponsored seem to suggest a feeling of inclusivity and tolerance for everybody, their main event lectured on issues of “White privilege. ” Had the word “White ” been substituted with “people of color, ” there would have been hysteria, protests and uproar. Even when we account for only 20 percent of the campus population, White males are the enemy of diversity and the pariahs of multiculturalism. Walking away from a University-sponsored

event, feeling ashamed of my identity and my heritage is the ultimate humiliation. This may sound like the writings and feelings of one person, but there are others on this campus community who feel exactly the same way. It bothers me a little to say this, but Emory will receive not a single dollar or display of support as I soon as I become an alumni of this institution.

Justin Musella is a College senior from Franklin Lakes, N.J.

THE EMORY WHEEL

Friday, April 5, 2013

OP  ED

DAVID GIFFIN

JASON SCHULMAN

A Critical Analysis of Privilege in Society

Earlier this week, I made the (arguably poor) decision that commenting on a Facebook political post was a good idea. A friend posted a snippet of Ben Carson ’s recent interview on “The Mark Levin Show ” on the radio, in which Carson called white liberals “the most racist people there are ” for stereotyping the political beliefs of blacks and other minorities as exclusively liberal and ostracizing those who don ’t conform. One commenter had cited his own experience with a black friend who had been viciously attacked for her libertarian political beliefs, and another had sarcastically rebuked him. I asked the sarcastic commenter to unpack her statement a little further, and she replied with a short list of liberal social positions that conservatives apparently oppress on a regular basis, but that she claimed she would never convince us of on Facebook. She signed off by curtly telling me: “Check your privilege. ” Wait, what? Excuse me? I am well aware of the arguments made in academic and social discourse regarding “white privilege, ” the notion that white individuals in society benefit from certain social or economic norms in a way that people of minority groups do not. I am actively studying liberation theology and feminist theology right now, and I am very much aware of these

critiques of society. Society is predominately white and male in origin and it structures itself such that minorities and women are at a disadvantage. The concepts of white or male privilege, however, are still something I find highly suspicious. Such claims forward the same sort of racist or gendered undercurrents that are found in actual anti-minority and anti-women statements but under the guise of academic objectivity. To be fair, there is in fact an entire sociological narrative at play here that revolves around the tension between white Europeans and non-whites in the development of social structures, government institutions and the like. I agree that society does still suffer from certain forms and expressions of racism and sexism that need to be addressed. Ultimately, at the end of the day, all I want to do as a human being and a Christian is to be able to look other human beings in the eye, shake their hands, love them as people and work with them to make the world a better place. But because I am a white male from the dominant religious group in an economically well-off nation, none of that matters because my mere existence oppresses others. I can ’t fathom how this became an accept-

able chain of thought. Think about it for just a minute: it ’s wrong for me to make pejorative claims about the social status of black people based on their race (which they had no control over being born into) or of women based on their gender (which they also had no control over being born into), but it IS somehow appropriate to make pejorative claims about the social position of white people based on their race (which they also had no control over)? Unless, of course, that person confesses the sin of their own existence and agrees to the political ideology of the oppressed party in question. And therein lies the rub with this whole scheme. The poster who told me to “check my privilege ” wasn ’t commenting on my race or my gender directly but did explicitly mention my political ideology, conservatism, in her statement. Politics, I think, is the real crux of the “privilege ” issue. Consider abortion as an example. It can ’t be that I have moral concerns about the status of an unborn fetus as a unique being such that I believe fetuses may deserve some legal protection. I just want women to remain barefoot, pregnant and in kitchens across the land. If I truly cared about women ’s rights, I would become a hardcore social liberal and abort

all the babies. The problem with the “privilege ” argument is that it doesn ’t constructively forward any sort of political or social discussion. All it serves to do is assign someone ’s person or beliefs an “oppressive ” status that somehow undermines their validity — even if their opinions are logically accessible, wellreasoned and potentially beneficial to society. The “privilege ” argument is an ad hominem attack on the other individual ’s character, one of the worst kinds of logical fallacies. It ’s like calling someone a racist and thinking that means you ’ve won a debate. If we really want to further constructive conversations about major social and political issues, we can ’t spend our time assigning deconstructive labels to one another based on our ideologies. We ’re going to differ in perspective and disagree; it ’s part of the human condition. Instead, we must constructively engage with one another and seek to proceed through our discussions reasonably. Without rational, level dialogue, we will never actually succeed in making society a more just place.

David Giffin is a second-year Masters in Theological Studies student at the Candler School of Theology from Charleston, Ill.

The Wheel Debates COURTESY OF THE BARKLEY FORUM

In Favor

Opposed

This month’s debate on affirmative action based on class was written by Barkley Forum members Lisa Li (’14C) and Wilma Qiu (’14B).

Katrina Worsham | Staff

One such case of this attempt toward re-interpretation is a lawsuit currently being handled by the Supreme Court: Fisher v. University of Texas. Traditional views on race are being critically re-examined through the lens of college admissions and affirmative action. A ruling in favor of Fisher would include a reversal of current affirmativeaction policies that use race as a factor in college admissions. With the most conservative Supreme Court bench in years, this is a high possibility. This would have profound implications for universities across the nation, including Emory. A court ruling in favor of Abigail Fisher provides us with an opportunity to challenge our focus on race as the primary mechanism for achieving diversity. I argue that examining this issue mainly through socioeconomic class is much more relevant for three reasons: class is where inequalities lie, a classbased affirmative action system works and a race-based affirmative action system is ineffective at accomplishing diversity. The original goal of affirmative action was to pursue diversity and equalize potential students based on opportunity. Currently, class accounts for much of the inequality that occurs within primary and secondary education. For example, it is hard to imagine that a student from an inner-city school who lives in the projects has the same access to resources as a more affluent student. When it comes to college admissions, this disparity is especially apparent. Previously, race-based affirmative action was implemented to address inequalities — however, it ’s become outdated. Research by William Bowen and Derek Bok, former presidents of Princeton University and Harvard University, respectively, found that 86 percent of targeted minorities in highly-selective schools are from the middle or upper class. Not only does the current system inadequately address inequality, but it also does not create the diversity crucial for a representative student body. In order to address this disparity, it is instrumental that an updated system is implemented. Some schools have already utilized a more class-oriented process of affirmative action. Multiple large public schools have taken such measures — this includes dropping legacy preferences, increasing financial aid budgets, fostering stronger relationships

with low-income schools and automatically admitting the top 10 percent of all high schools. Ironically, studies by the University of Colorado at Boulder show that public schools preserved or even exceeded racial diversity when race wasn ’t the focus. A relevant argument to address against a class-based affirmative action is the “do both ” idea: incorporating both race and class. This is very similar to the status quo. While adding them together might seem like double the benefit, this is not the case. The Century Foundation found that when adding both factors together, race significantly dwarfs the focus on class. This is because it is more cost-effective for the university to utilize race over class. Stephen Carter of The New York Times calls it “racial justice on the cheap. ” Finally, some might argue about the ineffectiveness of affirmative action as a whole, class- or race-based. These arguments are mostly based in the quest for a student body determined by their merit. While in an ideal world this could work, it ignores the huge range of experiences children have growing up and the inadequacy of standard measures of merit. A student with considerably less resources but average test scores is still a valuable addition as a voice on campus. Richard Kahlenburg, a senior fellow at the Century Foundation, also said, “Class is not meant to challenge merit but be a better approximation of it. ” As Emory students, we strive to achieve the best possible policy that benefits the student body. Nowhere is this more apparent than our quest to achieve diversity — with recent Emory events concerning race, it is clear the campus benefits from a broad variety of perspectives. Benefits could also be realized in attracting more minority professors, creating a diverse network of alumni and overall incorporating different viewpoints that could be essential in improving Emory. In the last Supreme Court ruling in 2003, affirmative action was upheld for the pure reason of reaching that goal. However, a race-based affirmative action is obsolete; it requires innovation that brings it forward to the current obstacles that face potential college students. Even though the system will never be perfect, it can be changed in a way that ultimately allows us to reach our goal of building a better university.

Race-based affirmative action is outdated; it is time to focus efforts on class disparities.

As John Latting, Emory College ’s dean of admission, writes in his letter to prospective students, “Emory seeks an outstanding first-year class ... objective information ... [is] important. But so are the personal attributes of the students who come here ... ” Like other highly selective institutions, Emory not only wants the best possible students, but also the best possible class. This requires careful consideration of applicants as whole individuals with diverse perspectives and backgrounds. Race is an important part of everyone ’s identity. The decision in Fisher v. University of Texas requires institutions of higher education like Emory to disregard individualized considerations of race in admission. This poor decision jeopardizes the dynamism of Emory ’s intellectual and social community and the quality of its education. Affirmative action remains necessary because of persistent racial inequalities and discrimination. From elementary school on, education quality for the majority of students of color remains starkly unequal and separate. Moreover, studies like those through UCLA ’s Civil Rights Project have identified a trend of racial resegregation in schools. Segregated schools with majority black or Latino students are linked to problems like high dropout rates and have fewer resources. As education is a key avenue to improving opportunities and intergenerational socioeconomic mobility, such inequality exerts a vicious impact during and beyond an individual ’s lifetime. This impact manifests itself in documented bias against these students in college admission criteria like standardized test scores, as underresourced schools do not prepare students well for standardized tests. Higher education presents a unique opportunity to help remedy these inequalities. Affirmative action benefits the disadvantaged groups it targets. Stacy Dale and Alan Krueger, researcher and chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers, respectively, find that attending selective institutions increases earnings for minorities and students whose parents have relatively little education. These students tend to perform better if they enroll in more selective institutions. Meanwhile, leading empirical scholars condemned studies supporting the argument that affirmative action beneficiaries are “mismatched ” for and underperform at these schools as insufficient to “constitute credible evidence that affirmative action practices are harmful to minorities. ” On-campus resources and outreach can provide extra support for minority and first-generation college students

to help in isolated cases of mismatch. Research consistently finds that students of all racial backgrounds become better critical thinkers, more creative problem solvers and less prejudiced individuals in diverse educational settings. Businesses seek graduates from these settings because they are better workers, create more positive workplaces and are a competitive necessity in an increasingly diverse country and globalized world economy. Recognizing diversity ’s integral role in their success, 58 major corporations, including Microsoft and American Express, wrote in an amicus curiae brief to the Supreme Court that “The only means of obtaining a properly qualified group of employees is through diversity in institutions of higher education, which are allowed to recruit and instruct the best qualified minority candidates. ” In general, selective universities are a training ground for future leaders and are pathways to professional and graduate schools. The Association of American Medical Colleges and Association of American Law Schools agree that eliminating affirmative action reduces the diversity of their applicant pools, threatening the diversity of their own student bodies. Some critics propose economic affirmative action as a race-neutral alternative. Including economic background is commendable and could improve accuracy of targeting of truly disadvantaged applicants. However, existing cases of switches to race-neutral alternatives prove that race remains a necessary factor. After the University of California ended affirmative action, it experienced massive declines in enrollment of black and Latino students, especially at Berkeley and UCLA, the most prestigious campuses, despite attempts to create alternative routes to minority recruitment. At Berkeley, black enrollment fell from between six and seven percent to only two percent in 2010. A study by Thomas Espenshade, professor of sociology at Princeton, and his colleague Alexandria Radford found that no substitute policy will generate as much racial and ethnic diversity as affirmative action. Dismissal of affirmative action rests on the false assumption that America is truly post-racial. Creating such a society requires sustained efforts to resolve economic and educational inequalities. Affirmative action in higher education provides opportunities for disadvantaged minorities and improves educational quality for all. It helps preserve Emory ’s diversity, which fuels the university ’s intellectual and social energy. It is no silver bullet, but it remains an absolute necessity.

The Leo Frank Case: A Century Later One hundred years ago this April began a series of events culminating in one of the most notorious anti-Semitic incidents in American history. It would end two years later when a Jew was lynched in Atlanta. In a class I taught in the history department two years ago, I asked students if they were familiar with Leo Frank. Not a single hand went up. An appalling sign of ignorance of our own city ’s past? Or was the Leo Frank incident such an aberration from the welcome that Jews have found in the American mainstream that it hardly registers today? Perhaps both. In April 1913, an Atlanta pencil factory superintendent named Leo Frank was arrested for the murder of 13-year-old Mary Phagan, who worked in the factory. After a trial that in retrospect (and even to many sympathetic observers at the time) reeked of intimidation and injustice, Frank was sentenced to death; Georgia Governor John M. Slaton commuted Frank ’s sentence in 1915 to life in prison. Members of Phagan ’s community in Marietta could not abide such a decision; they broke Frank out of jail and lynched him on Aug. 17, 1915 (for those with steel stomachs, the image of a hanging Frank is widely available). The Leo Frank case — the terminology here is a bit fuzzy: episode? affair? “case ”? — left us two legacies in the South and in the nation more broadly. The first was the creation of the Anti-Defamation League, which started as a Jewish defense organization but evolved in the post-WWII years to combat other forms of discrimination. The other was the revival of the Ku Klux Klan. And yet, as I found in my class, Leo Frank ’s story has not fared well in our collective consciousness. On the centenary of this heinous incident, perhaps the time is right for us — as Americans and Atlantans — to use this occasion to raise questions about our country, our region, our city and our community. Leo Frank was just one example of what we might consider “southern justice, ” a system of punishment we today easily identify as extra-legal, but those who lived through it had to receive the imprimatur of the state. One needs only to flip through a history textbook, or the pages of today ’s newspapers, to find legion examples of victims of the system of southern justice. Emory ’s past is, like many universities, complicated.

“Let us use the Leo Frank case to inspire us to reflect, to question and to do better.” The University has taken important steps to confront its troubled history, and its efforts to come to terms with its slave-holding and anti-Semitic past have deservedly garnered national attention. Also to Emory ’s credit, the Transforming Community Project ’s Community Dialogue program has featured the Frank story, as well as other less sanguine aspects of the University ’s origins and history, as part of its curriculum. But there is still work to be done. The Tam Institute for Jewish Studies, with a grant from the American Academy for Jewish Research, is planning a series of events to begin discussion about this important topic. On Monday, April 15, University of Michigan historian Karla Goldman will present the Rabbi Jacob M. Rothschild Memorial Seminar on the topic of “Jewish Women ’s Organizations and the Challenge of Race Relations in Atlanta and Beyond. ” Also, Emory and the Breman Jewish Heritage Museum have partnered to host a lecture by New York University historian Hasia Diner on April 30. My students were torn, as I have long been, about the coda to Leo Frank ’s story: in 1986, the Georgia State Board of Pardons and Paroles pardoned Frank for the crime against Mary Phagan, a symbolic but still important gesture. As we (re)consider our past, confront the issues of the present and contemplate the challenges of the future, let us use this month to reflect on the legacy of injustice, racism and violence in our city and our country. Although the Frank case may seem like a remote relic from another time and place, it is more recent and close-to-home than we care to imagine. And let us use the Leo Frank case to inspire us to reflect, to question and to do better. If not now, when?

Jason Schulman is a graduate student in the History Department.

Friday, April 5, 2013

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Yellowfin, on some menus Tangles with, in the country Classic Chrysler Lead characters in “Mork & Mindy ”? Impart Coaching concern Tillis or Tormé Place to moor Full of adrenaline, informally West Point newcomers Aids in marketing? O. Henry is known for one Baccarat cousin Estrangement Zip 1971 film with the tagline “You don ’t assign him to murder cases. You just turn him loose. ” Like shellfish Regime change catalyst Hard worker Site near an outdoor recording session in “Help! ”

DOWN Pot item

T H E S H A H

B E H A V E S

I N U T E R O

D E L U I S E

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R D A I N D E N A N T U E A V E P E N G O L E C T R D A E B A L D E S

B A R B R A N A V I K O S

O C C I A R O N R O A D T I A H I G C E N R A G A Y L A N L S T I M C A V E N A N E R S T P A E A Y R

S C R T A H W O L S E A Y R O N U R R E B O I N

Instructions: •Each row, column and “area” (3-by-3 square) should contain the numbers 1 to 9. Rules: •Each number can appear only once in each row. •Each number can appear only once in each column. •Each number can appear only once in each area. ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE

S T E V E N S

S T Y E

20 22

28 32

33 36

34 37

38 42

46 50

PUZZLE BY DOUG PETERSON AND BRAD WILBER

2 3 4 5 6 7

S A Y S Y E S

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ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE T K T S

No. 0301

11 12 13 14 21

Prefix with -stat Pool protector Six-time Lombardi Trophy winners Rx chain Spanish wine Leaning Like the snowy owl Very much Shanghai-to-Tokyo dir. Block during a blizzard Genre that glorifies gunplay Mostly Checked Emergency oil rig visitor

23 24 25 26 27 29 32 36

38 41 45

Out of one ’s league? “Whitman Cantata ” composer Part of an iconic Eden outfit Durable kitchen items Low-priced item, maybe Cartoonist Keane Ululates TV show that has spawned many movies, briefly Cold war concern Yvonne of “The Munsters ” Striped identifier

Zach ___, “Garden State ” actor/ director

Early automaker Frederick Henry ___

Direction from on high

Weights, colloquially

“Hullabaloo ” dance

Bang out

Fielding feats, for short

When repeated, a sneaky laugh

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit nytimes.com/mobilexword for more information. Online subscriptions: Today ’s puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/ crosswords ($39.95 a year). Share tips: nytimes.com/wordplay. Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

SUDOKU

THE EMORY WHEEL

Student Life Friday, April 5, 2013 Student Life Editors: Elizabeth Howell (ehowel5@emory.edu) and Jenna Kingsley (jdkings@emory.edu)

STUDENT BUSINESSES

PosterFuse, Brotips Launch Collaboration

They obviously shouldn ’t. The

YOUR FINGERTIPS!

PREPARE FOR

THE PAINFUL TRUTH AS PRESENTED

STUDENT LIFE ’S FREAKISHLY HOROSCOPES!

Aries Happy birthday, Aries, whether it ’s belated, coming up soon or today! Your lucky numbers contain a combination of the digits zero through nine and your lucky color shows up on the visible electromagnetic spectrum. Have a good birthday!

Taurus Man/woman/non-binary gender affiliation-up already and ask your crush out. The worst they can say is no, and the worst that can happen is a meteor striking our campus and wiping out life as we know it. And you won ’t get to talk to your crush to boot.

Gemini Gemini, you deserve someone in your life who appreciates you, warts and all. But you should definitely let your “someone ” know if you suffer from, ahem, those special kind of warts.

Cancer Courtesy of Stephanie Chan

PosterFuse, a website that allows users to create a collage from their photos on social media, now offers customers the option to include Brotips in their posters. Both companies were founded by Emory students. Brotips on PosterFuse collages in addition to digital media pictures. Both PosterFuse and Brotips are very excited about the collaboration, Barfield said. Additionally, Chan, Simon and Rayburn said they are looking forward to increasing PosterFuse ’s presence through access to Brotips ’ large fanbase. The strength of the brand name is enormous, Simon said, add-

ing that when Brotips posts on Twitter and Facebook about PosterFuse, there are huge spikes in the number of visitors to the PosterFuse website. Barfield said he is glad at the chance to help another startup, hoping he can guide them around the financial mistakes he made when he first started his company. While customers have frequently requested printed Brotips post-

ers, Barfield said he previously chose to prioritize other business opportunities. The collaboration will not only allow Barfield to meet the demands of his followers, but also connect Brotip ’s online media to offline goods, Rayburn added. The companies believe the collaboration has greater significance for the Emory community. While Emory

Spoke vs.Wheel: Dooley’s Week Duel

Why should students read the Spoke?

SECRETS OF YOUR DESTINY ARE AT

INSIGHTFUL

Q&A

In honor of Dooley ’s Week, the Wheel decided to sit down with our greatest rival (or so they like to think), The Emory Spoke, for a brief interview. We were able to put our differences aside long enough to allow the Spoke, Emory ’s satirical news source, to answer a few of our questions about some of the University ’s most pressing issues.

THE STARS HAVE SPOKEN, AND THE

By Tanvi Lal Staff Writer Dooley ’s Week, Songfest, Homecoming, Graduation — from freshman to senior year, Emory students are constantly making memories and wondering how to possibly remember every single moment. Faced with a similar question after their 2012 summer vacations abroad, College juniors Stephanie Chan and Michael Simon and Business School sophomore Denver Rayburn developed a creative and effective way to easily make a memory: PosterFuse. This Emory-based startup is a website which allows customers to arrange their Instagram, Facebook or any other digital media pictures into a collage. The customer can then use this as a Facebook cover photo or order a printed version from PosterFuse. Emory students also share a love for wasting time on amusing social media websites. Consequently, when College junior Dominique “Sketch ” Barfield began posting witty responses to the peculiar actions of his peers onto the internet, they quickly gained popularity. Brotips, which Barfield created in March 2011, has since attracted over 500,000 Facebook likes, over 300,000 Tumblr fans, and over 700,000 Twitter followers. Started on the multimedia blogging website Tumblr, Brotips offers daily pieces of advice condensed into a short, quirky quip, such as #305: “If you can ’t win an argument, correct their grammar instead, ” or #413: “Never make eye contact while eating a banana. ” These two Emory startups recently launched a collaboration allowing customers to use pictures of

HOROSCOPES

Spoke is a terminally silly organization filled with no-good rascals that inject unwanted humor into the Emory community. Its seditious fake editorials are downright dastardly. Its articles are insane and distorted, indicating that their writers spend way too much time on 4Chan. Its website is nothing but a den for good-for-nothings who fritter away countless minutes of their time that could better be spent serving the Emory community. Not to mention that their costumes are beyond tacky — easily far worse than

the Wheel ’s. As a cesspit filled with the blackest senses of humor on the seven seas, we are asking you not to read our content. Even limited exposure to our articles can cause readers to become dangerously radical, like those Emory Cuts guys. Why should students read the Wheel? For the same reason that they should read stop signs. It won ’t make them any smarter, but we wouldn ’t

want them to be uninformed.

Spoke is to ... as Wheel is to ... ? Mike Tyson, ear. Do you think that the Wheel edits submissions unfairly? Absolutely. If we were to express a controversial opinion during this interview, such as “** *************************** **************** blaspheming

students may feel that there isn ’t a vibrant entrepreneurial spirit on campus, Chan said that there is a tightknit and growing startup community. “There is a small community doing it, ” Simon explained. “We are really passionate and willing to help each other with the next step because we all want to see Emory

See POSTERFUSE, Page 10

ADVICE

Dear Doolina: Asking for Answers

It ’s tempting to blow your paycheck when you receive it, but it would behoove you to try to budget and not say “yes ” every time your friends want to order Chinese. Just think of the future and how someday you will be able to afford to use fancy words like “behoove. ”

Leo Be patient, Leo. Good things come to those who wait. But by that same token, Disney princesses who wait for their princes to find them tend to get men who kiss girls they presume are dead. You have to put forward some sort of effort.

Virgo You are neither an optimist, a pessimist or a realist. You are an opportunist, one who drinks the water in the glass while the other three are arguing about it. Keep on being you, Virgo.

Libra One of your scales is being weighed down, Libra. Assess the relationships you maintain, and get rid of a few toxic ones. Dementors should only belong in the “Harry Potter ” universe.

Scorpio Pay attention to Libra ’s horoscope, Scorpio, because habits can be Dementors, too. Just stop and think, “What do I really want out of life right now? ” and go do that instead of checking Facebook for the bazillionth time. And even if you really just want a frozen yogurt out of life right now, go and get it.

See CVS, Page 10

TRAVEL

Sagittarius

Dear Doolina, I think I have more work than is actually possible to do. How do I deal with this? — Swamped

Courtesy of Sergio Dhillon

Chania: A Portside Paradise By Sergio Dhillon Contributing Writer Chania, a city in western Crete, is nestled between mountains and the sparkling blue Cretan sea. It is known as the island ’s most beautiful city. I went to Chania this past January with my family after spending six days in Athens. It was a quick, 40-minute flight from Athens, and the weather was incredible. Although winter is considered to be “chilly ” in Crete, it was in the 60s the whole time. The upside about coming to Chania in the winter was that the city was much quieter and easier to explore when we didn ’t have to fight crowds of sweaty

and sunburnt tourists. The road from the airport to Chania was like any modern highway, but as soon as we entered the old city, I felt like we were going back in time. Many of the streets were simply inaccessible to cars, and the hotel staff had to come meet us in a parking lot with a cart for our luggage. After freshening up, we went to the Venetian port where we were greeted by the stunning blue Mediterranean Sea. Lined with cafés and restaurants, the Venetian port was an ideal place for us to stop for coffee and a sandwich before exploring the wonders of Chania. Chania was a very walkable city, and all of the alleys and buildings told a story. Taking a

tour of the city for one day with a private guide was relatively cheap and very helpful in understanding the fascinating history of this city. While walking through the old port of Chania, we saw architecture and elements that were left by Turkish, Venetian, Arab and Egyptian invaders, all of whom left their mark on this picturesque Mediterranean city. During our third day in Chania, we decided to rent a car and explore the small towns along the Cretan sea. We drove through mountains, coastal towns and villages, and it was nice to get a taste of life outside of the city and see how the local Cretans live. I remember stop-

See MEDITERRANEAN, Page 10

Dear Swamped, Assuming what you say is true and that you took on too much this semester and literally don ’t have enough time or energy to do everything you need to do, then here ’s what you should do: For the rest of the semester, figure out what work is necessary for your classes and what work isn ’t necessary (I promise you, some of it isn ’t necessary). Do what is necessary and anything else you reasonably have time to do. It ’s okay if you don ’t do all your homework, as long as you go about it strategically. Moving forward, the important thing is to learn from this semester. So, when choosing your classes for the fall, lessen your workload a bit. You will thank yourself next semester. Delightfully, Doolina

You don ’t need to be the centaur of attention all the time, Sagittarius. (Centaur? Get it? No?) You ’re special and talented, but other people are, too. When your friend wins a baking competition, let him have his cake and eat it too. Unless that ’s against the baking competition ’s rules.

Capricorn All right, goat-fish Capricorn, this school year is rapidly coming to a close and that means change. Some things you won ’t be able to control, but others you can. Change your mind. Change your outlook. Change your clothes. Not in public, though.

Aquarius You are a water-bearer, Aquarius, so why are you so rigid and stressed right now? Be flowing and fluid, calm and centered, like a beginner ’s yoga video on Hulu. But not advanced yoga, because it ’s hard to be calm while you ’re trying to put your foot behind your head and stand on one hand.

Pisces Find the water your fishy self belongs in. “Fishy ” here is meant metaphorically since Pisces is represented by the fish. If you are actually fishy, a shower may be in order for you. Horoscopes by Grace Cummings

See DOOLINA, Page 10

THE EMORY WHEEL

STUDENT LIFE

Friday, April 5, 2013

Mad Lib:

Spring Has Sprung By Celia Greenlaw

It is finally that_____________ (adjective) time of the year when the _____________ (noun) is shining, the birds are _____________ (verb ending in “ing ”) and everyone can start using the excuse “Sun ’s out, _____________ (plural body part) out ” for their questionable outfit choices. Spring is a time to appreciate the more _____________(adjective) things in life, like a flower that has just _____________ (past tense verb) or a baby_____________ (animal) that is learning its way around the world. One of my favorite things to do in the spring is to _____________ (verb) a picnic. First, I pack a basket filled with _____________ (food), pickles and lots of fruity _____________ (liquid). Next, I bring my blanket that is covered in a _____________ (noun) pattern and some _____________ (adjective) lotion to protect against the sun. Finally, I invite my closest _____________ (plural noun) so that I am in good company for the day.

Once we choose a good place to lay our picnic gear, we start_____________ (verb ending in “ing ”) the many things the outdoors has to offer. I love to stare up at the clouds and search for as many _____________ (plural noun) as I can find. Then, I challenge my friends to _____________ (verb) what I see. It is also enjoyable to pick flowers for that special _____________ (noun) or to play in a swing-set as if you were still _____________ (number) years old. No matter what you do to celebrate the onset of Spring, I hope that it brings you happiness and _____________ (plural noun) and that you take the time to notice how Emory ’s campus becomes

more _____________ (adjective) with each passing day.

Doolina Deals with Troublesome Tags Continued from Page 9

I ’m not weird? — Odd One Out

Dear Doolina, What do you do when your friends tag really embarrassing pictures of you on Facebook? — Tagged in all the Wrong Places Dear Tagged, There are embarrassing pictures that are funny, and there are embarrassing pictures that cross the line. If the picture is embarrassing in a funny, non-malicious way, then leave it alone, and soon enough only your Facebook stalker will know it exists. If it ’s so embarrassing that it ’s not funny, then untag yourself and/or report the picture, depending on how bad it is. Delightfully, Doolina Dear Doolina, How do I convince my friends that

Dear Odd One Out, Your friends are supposed to be the ones who accept you for your weirdness, not reject you for it. My friends like me even though I ’m a skeleton wearing a dress! My point is, if you ’re actively trying to convince your friends that you ’re not weird, either get new friends or stop trying to prove that you ’re not weird. Let them love you for your weirdness, not in spite of it! Delightfully, Doolina Dear Doolina, I read on Emory Secrets that guys at Emory can be cute but never have nice butts. So, while sitting at Jazzman ’s, I decided to strategically spy on the boys in line to see if they had good butts. Unfortunately, the

Have questions for Doolina? Submit them at http://bit.ly/XPt3Y5.

PosterFuse, Brotips Founders Encourage Emory Entrepreneurs Continued from Page 9 be the launching pad for the next big company. ” Everyone benefits, Simon continued, because members of the startup community are willing and ready to help each other out. In the future, the founders of both Brotips and PosterFuse are considering further collaboration with other organizations. Specifically, PosterFuse wants to reach out to music festivals and other events in order to attract customers who post

about such events on Facebook or Instagram. Barfield said he hopes his story will show other students that they are capable of starting their own successful businesses. As a word of advice for students, Chan said that starting a successful business requires taking chances. “Take the risk, ” Chan said. “If we never put our foot forward and tried it out, we probably wouldn ’t have been here. ” — Contact Tanvi Lal at tlal@emory.edu

By Chloe Olewitz

author of the secret was correct — none of the boys had cute butts. This is an important issue to me, what do I do? — No Ifs, Ands or Butts Dear No Ifs, Ands or Butts, I have two questions for you: 1) Why are you voluntarily spending time at Jazzman ’s? That ’s like going to eat at the DUC when you don ’t have a meal plan that forces you to do so. 2) Have you considered joining “I like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie ” Anonymous? I ’ve heard Sir Mix-aLot found it extremely helpful. I think your answers to these questions will show you what you have to do. Delightfully, Doolina

James Crissman/Co-Editor (Top); Courtesy of Dominique Barfield (Bottom)

Through partnering with Brotips, the founders of PosterFuse (Above) hope to reach out to the website’s large fan base.

I ’ve been hiding in the corners of the bookstore while the weather changes a few degrees in either direction from day to day, as indecisive as I am about my “future. ” When people ask, I assume I haven ’t quite figured it out, and I can ’t be the only one, so I admit that playing it by ear is kind of nice when I can get over the fear of uncertainty. Up in the air, I read someone ’s confession of a fear of half inflated balloons, hanging mid-air, hovering, not sure whether to rise or fall, whether rising or falling is more possible, plausible, accomplishable. There ’s a lot for us to accomplish these last 40 something days until summer, until graduation, to what ’s next for any of us — internships, jobs or home to regroup, travel, something breaking free of the grind. For some of us the grind isn ’t so bad. The grind is familiar and a little or a lot more comfortable than the forging of a clichéd path less traveled, leaving trails,

terrifying and exciting all at once. I love roller coasters. I am the one with my hands in the air, yelling “yee haw, ” climbing the steep rise to an adventure apex, potential energy building. I ’m not science-minded. I didn ’t take physics; I don ’t know. But there is nonetheless a moment of disappearing courage when a jerk to the left or to the right is something unexpected and stomach-dropping. We can do it, I think. We cheer each other on, and so does the sun of Spring. It is a source of perseverance, even when Emory Unplugged is dysfunctional and the mid-class fire drills or Dooley interruptions free us. They at the very least distract us, I suppose, and dancing during Dooley ’s Week frees us from the grind at last and, for a short time, tides us over until the freedom of what ’s next. What ’s coming. Potential energy, or something like that. I didn ’t take physics, I don ’t know.

CVS Bathroom Is an Ideal Location to Consume Your Recently-Purchased Raw Noodles Continued from Page 9 ************************* vibrating ring *********************** ******************************* * plot of every Adam Sandler movie ******************************* ******** will inherit the earth, ” you guys would probably censor the **** out of us. Who does the Spoke endorse for the SGA Presidential Election?

On principle, we endorse Martin Krafft (Emory Class of 2012) for every position that he could possibly fill. However, if he ’s not on the ballot, then we will support candidates who do not list “abolish the Spoke ” as a major pillar of their campaign. In the case that we must decide between candidates at this point, we at the Spoke will default to the most Jewish-sounding name.

The Spoke has always been a proud supporter of every sport at Emory for two simple reasons. The athletes that Emory recruits could easily overpower our staff in fisticuffs if we offended them, and any jokes that we could make at their expense have already been made by the rest of Emory. We mean, come on, even the bookstore sells sarcastic shirts about our sports. That being said, we love a good curling.

Favorite Emory sports team?

Best place to dine on campus?

events will you not be attending?

While not necessarily on-campus, the bathroom of the nearby CVS is a great new “hot spot ” for discretely eating the raw ramen you just purchased. The toilet seat is accommodating, the graffiti insightful and the acoustic insulation perfect for soft weeping. Best part? Free tissues.

We will be at every Dooley ’s Week event except the notorious Mr. Lamar ’s concert, whose casual use of “bish ” we find to be incredibly mishogynyshtish.

What Dooley ’s Week events will you be attending? What Dooley ’s week

Yes. Our 2,000-employee idea fac-

tory in Stockholm is entirely staffed by professional models. As for our Emory office, we did the best we could. Coke or Pepsi? [Redacted]

Is it true that the Spoke staff is comprised almost entirely of professional models?

Dooley or Swoop? Choice C: Our alcoholic, noncopyright-infringing eagle mascot, Plummet.

Emory Unleashed A New Student Life Contest Series to Test your Creative Mettle

In Student Life ’s first semester, we tried more than a few contest ideas. We put on a poetry contest, a photography contest and a variety of other opportunities for Emory students to show off their creativity.

But we weren’t satisfied.

The competition wasn ’t cutthroat enough. The stakes? Not high enough.

Today, that all changes. The rules of this challenge are simple. Produce a creative work — a poem, a drawing, a painting, a short story, a photo, a diorama, a soap carving, whatever you choose — that has something to do with the theme provided. Submit it to jdkings@emory.edu and ehowel5@emory. edu by April 17 and you ’ll have a shot at winning the Grand Prize.

What’s the prize?

Our favorite entries will be published in the Student Life section in Aprilw. But that ’s not all! For the first time, this contest will include a monetary prize, in the form of a $15 Chipotle gift card for the Grand Prize Winner! Try not to fall off your seats in excitement.

Theme: The Meaning of Life

Graphic by Mimi Hacking

Didn ’t promise it ’d be an easy theme, did I? Good luck, and have fun!

Courtesy of Sergio Dhillon

With warm weather and clear Mediterranean water, Chania’s coast is a picturesque place to scuba dive.

Mediterranean Cultures Mingle in Coastal City Continued from Page 9 ping at a small village next to a lake where we had lunch and were able to watch villagers perform a local dance. The water surrounding Chania stays relatively warm and extremely clear all year around. I was able to go scuba diving one morning before going sight seeing. Although there wasn ’t much marine life, the water was crystal clear and the visibility was amazing.

Chania is a true Mediterranean city. It reflects a mixture between European and Middle Eastern cultures that makes this region of the world special. It ’s a city of natural and architectural beauty, a rare combination to see today. Chania was a great place to begin my exploration of Crete, an island full of ancient history, mythology and breathtaking landscapes. — Contact Sergio Dhillon at hdhillo@emory.edu

E WOMEN’S MEN’S TENNIS SOFTBALL TENNIS

BASEBALL

THE EMORY WHEEL

SPORTS

agle xchange FRI 5

SAT 6

SUN 7

vs. Hendrix 3 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. Conway, Ark.

vs. Hendrix College 1 p.m. Conway, Ark.

MON 8

Friday, April 5, 2013

On Fire Chinatown > L.A.

TUES 9 vs. Berry College 6 p.m. Mt Berry, Ga. vs. Piedmont 4 p.m. and 6 p.m. Demorest, Ga.

vs. Mary Washington 1 p.m. WoodPEC

vs. Sewanee University 3 p.m. Sewanee, Tenn.

vs. Middlebury vs. Williams vs. Bowdoin College 9:30 a.m. 1 p.m. 2 p.m. Williamstown, Williamstown, Middlebury, Mass. Mass. Vt.

Matt Velasquez/Flickr

Former Texas A&M offensive tackle Luke Joeckel is projected to be taken off the board early in the first round in this month’s NFL Draft.

Patel: Joeckel To Go First in Draft to Chiefs Continued from The Back Page performed the best in tryouts, or interviewed the best, and that will help us determine who will be taken at the top. But since my last mock, there have been a few changes that need to be made. So without taking up any more of your time, here is my updated top 5 mock draft. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS: Luke Joeckel, LT Texas A&M University

Courtesy of Emory Athletics

Sophomore golfer Alex Wunderlich putts the ball during the Emory Spring Invitational.

Golf Struggles at Spring Tournament Held at Emory Continued from The Back Page to continuing the Emory Invitational there next year. We now have plenty of motivation for the Naval Academy event in two weeks. ” The Eagles return to action on April 20-21 at the Navy Spring Invitational, held at the U.S. Naval Academy Golf Club in Annapolis, Md. This will be their final tournament before the National Collegiate

Athletic Association (NCAA) Division III Championships. “The team played consistently, but we weren ’t firing on all cylinders, ” Wunderlich said. “I think our games are all in a good place though, and I ’m confident that we can play with any team. It ’s going to be a solid Division I field, so I ’m excited to go to Annapolis and see how the team stacks up. ” — Contact Seanette Ting at seanette.ting@emory.edu

In my last mock, I had the Chiefs taking Joeckel, and after a few weeks, I still stick with that prediction. The Chiefs have spent the entire offseason uprooting their team, the big move being trading for quarterback Alex Smith. In order for Smith and the Chiefs to succeed, the offensive line will need to be a strength. Franchise tagging LT Brandon Albert, while releasing Eric Winston, leaves a gaping hole at right tackle. Which is why Joeckel fits perfectly. He could spend a year at right tackle and then make the switch over to left long term. Although he wasn ’t the best performer at the combine, the coaches will point to his durability and consistency in college, as they should. He projects to be a franchise left tackle, and I believe he will protect Alex Smith and help turn Kansas City into a contender. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS: Dion Jordan, DE/OLB Oregon University The Jacksonville Jaguars need a game-changer on the defensive end. They are currently a bottom-feeder in the NFL and have been stagnant over the past few years. The good thing is that they are seeing emerging star power in Justin Blackmon.

However, as bad as their offense has been, they need someone to pick up one of the worst defenses in the league. In addition, their pass rush is miserable. Adding Dion Jordan, an athletic freak and someone who can consistently disrupt the quarterback, would do wonders for the Jaguars defense. If he develops as projected, he could turn into a franchise passrusher. The Jaguars cannot afford to blow this pick as they have blown their top selections in recent drafts, so they should and absolutely will draft Dion Jordan. OAKLAND RAIDERS: Sharrif Floyd, DT University of Florida The Raiders are equally, if not more of, a mess than the Jaguars, but they have made some strides to overhaul their lineup. Their front office has attempted to cut away the fat and draft winners. Floyd is an absolute winner. He has experienced success at Florida, and he will replace Tommy Kelly at the defensive tackle position. Like the Jaguars, the Raiders have had a difficult time drafting talent with their high picks, as illustrated by their recent roster cut of Darrius Heyward-Bey. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: Geno Smith, QB West Virginia University I had Smith mocked to the Eagles last time, and I am sticking with that claim here as well. The Eagles have a very solid team on paper. Their shrewd signings this offseason have put them in contention to compete for the NFC East crown. All they need is a competent quarterback. Michael Vick is clearly not the answer, and neither is anyone else they have on the roster. They need to

draft a quarterback who can enter and win games with their given talent, similar to Ben Roethlisberger with the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2004. Geno Smith is the perfect quarterback to run Chip Kelly ’s system. An offense spearheaded by him, Bryce Brown, LeSean McCoy, Desean Jackson, and Jeremy Maclin would easily compete at the top of the league for most explosive. The Eagles have other holes, but if they do not draft a quarterback, no matter how solid the rest of their roster is, they will not be successful. Geno is the pick and will turn the Eagles around. DETROIT LIONS: Ezekiel Ansah, DE Brigham Young University (Utah) Despite drafting game-changers in Ndamukong Suh and Nick Fairley, one of the biggest weaknesses of the Detroit Lions is their pass rush. They could either draft a cornerback like Dee Milliner to hide this deficiency, or they could address it by potentially drafting the next Jason PierrePaul. Ansah is a physical freak and can turn into a superstar. Imagine an offensive line having to prepare for the three of them. Their defense would become phenomenal, and they might end up performing like the top-5 team they look like on paper. Of course, these picks are tentative and can certainly change as the draft approaches. However, at this point, I believe that these teams will certainly draft these players, barring any trade or poor judgment from their front office. I hope everyone enjoys time with any friends that might be visiting, the Final Four and the concerts on McDonough. Have a safe weekend. — Contact Jayson Patel at jayson.patel@emory.edu

Chavkin: Previewing the Final Four Match-Ups Continued from The Back Page

Scott Mecum/Flickr

Texas Rangers starting pitcher Yu Darvish came one out away from a perfect game on Wednesday, dashing the Houston Astros’ bid for a perfect season.

Ostdiek: In Support of Houston’s Ashby Continued from The Back Page to have some good swear words to use in this situation, but my guess is that Japanese has some pretty darn good inappropriate language to use in situations such as these (at the least, stronger words than darn). In a courageous and gallant gesture, however, Ashby cut off the controversy at the head by apologizing fervently and ardently, renouncing any intent of wrong-doing, and promising to make amends to the Darvish family in any way necessary, up to and including sending their children to college. His exact words were “I ’d like to

apologize if my comments last night were misinterpreted or construed as insensitive. ” Now that is what I call an apology. Ashby leaves absolutely no room for anyone to possibly think that he actually regrets anything he said. That is a quality I admire in a man — a willingness to stand by what you have said, no matter how rash and poorly thought out it was. But Ashby does more than that. He apologized if his comments “were misinterpreted. ” Not only is he willing to stand by the things that he said, he is willing to apologize for others who failed to properly interpret his comments. He

is apologizing to all of us for having our time wasted by rabble-rousers who cannot take a good joke. Clearly these guys are the ones who are messing everything up, and they are the ones who should be taking the heat. But Ashby, with all the grace and nobility of his spirit, has the compassion and empathy to apologize for them! In addition, of course, to the courage and moral fortitude he possesses which enable him to refuse to apologize for himself. It is a great time to be an Astro. — Contact Bennett Ostdiek at bostdie@emory.edu

their game, the Louisville offense will be sporadic and have a tough time scoring. Siva also cannot afford to get into early foul trouble as he did in their Elite Eight game against Duke. Louisville must make sure their full court press is at its best over the weekend. The last thing the Cardinals need is to be giving up easy layups off of poor execution. The Shockers should just be happy to be in the Final Four. As a No. 9-seed, they have gotten much farther than many, and probably themselves, thought they would go. But if Wichita State (Kan.) plans to win Saturday against the Cardinals, a few things must happen. First off, the Shockers need to be hitting their threes consistently. The three ball is always the equalizer that allows mid-major teams to compete with some of the best teams in the country. Malcolm Armstead needs to be able to handle the press and make plays to counteract the pressure Louisville will provide. Carl Hall and Cleanthony Early also have to have big games, scoring and giving the Shockers second chance opportunities on the boards. If all these things happen, the Shockers might have a chance to pull off the upset. If Syracuse (N.Y.) is going to make it to the finals on Monday, they need to rely on what has gotten them to this point so far in the tournament: zone defense and efficient offense. The 2-3 zone has looked as good as it has all year in the first two games of the tournament. The defense is forcing turnovers and limiting field goal percentages because they have been able to

expand their zone and guard opposing players farther away than they had been all year. The success of the offense has really been based on the play of Michael Carter Williams all year. When he plays well, the Orange can put up a lot of points, but when he struggles, the rest of the team struggles. During this tournament Williams has been aggressive, taking the ball to the basket and setting up his teammates for easy baskets. If Carter and Williams can put together a good game offensively, and the defense is just as good as it has been all tournament, Syracuse will have a great chance to move on to the finals on Monday night. This is a great matchup for Michigan. The Wolverines are a good three point shooting team, which should help them score off the 2-3 zone. Nik Stauskas was on fire last Sunday when Florida decided to play zone against Michigan. Trey Burke will not be able to drive to the basket but still should be able to get some good looks. The key will be a good performance from Tim Hardaway, Jr., who had a terrible game against the Gators. The zone will prevent center Mitch Mcgary from having a good game, just as it impeded Cody Zeller when Syracuse played Indiana. Hardaway needs to pick up the load and knock down some shots in order for Michigan to win. This team needs to show up defensively Saturday night. Throughout the season, the Wolverines have been known to take some games off defensively, and Saturday night cannot be one of those games. — Contact Brian Chavkin at bchavs@emory.edu

Your On Fire correspondent does not have many friends. This is not a cry for sympathy or a plea for help but simply a statement of fact. And the friends that he (or she) has managed to make and keep over the years are not necessarily the coolest people in the world. But your popular On Fire correspondent has one friend who is cooler than Kanye West, ice cream and foreign films combined — Karsten Lutz. Lutz is known for many things. In high school, everyone called him Bambi — not because his mother had died, but because he had skinny little legs and ran like a deer. The rest of Bambi ’s body eventually caught up with those legs, however, and he went on to become the second-string tight end on the football team, even scoring a touchdown his senior year (in a game against the worst team in the district). No one can say for sure if it is the touchdown that did it, but something changed in Karsten. Always really tall, he suddenly became extremely tan as well and began to describe his appearance to people as “like a Norse god. ” And we cannot say for sure if it was because his tan, his height, his grades or his one touchdown, but for whatever reason the Stanford crew team asked him to row for them. Not only did Karsten excel on the playing field, however, he also played the field and possessed an uncanny ability to get out of a bad situation just in the nick of time. The first girl he dated is now 19, pregnant and engaged to a European guy (though the exact order in which all these events occurred is shrouded in mystery). He dodged that bullet. The next fling was the valedictorian, president of the National Honor Society and captain of the lacrosse team. However, she had red hair and lots of opinions, and that relationship was doomed to fail almost before it began. Not only was Karsten a star athlete and certified stud, but he was also a paragon of moral virtue. He served his local community as a lifeguard and was honored at the end of the summer of 2011 as the West University Lifeguard of the Year and given a tank-top with a picture of his face on the back. “I always got better grades than him in calculus, ” Katie Opila, a high school classmate of Karsten ’s, said. Karsten is a brother in the Kappa Sigma fraternity at Stanford, in addition to his duties on the crew team and his studies in mechanical engineering. We at On Fire recently caught up to him and discussed with him a struggle that many Emory students face: namely, the difficulty of balancing life as a frat star, future Olympian and diligent student. Emory Wheel: What is the most difficult thing about leading the triple life of a frat star, future Olympic athlete and engineering student? Karsten Lutz: Time management is by far the most difficult. Gotta crush p-sets, practice, sleep and Natty light within a 24-hour day. EW: Of those three aspects of your life, which one gets you the most girls, and why? KL: Three-part answer. For just one night: athletics; for college: the frat life; that long-term investment six-foot-tall blonde dime piece that has seen “The Matrix ” and wants to take the kids to soccer practice in a Porsche, not a mini-van: the engineering degree. EW: What are the odds that you could make the Olympics if you completely dedicated yourself to the task? KL: Stanford has a pretty good Olympic pipeline for rowing, so while small, it ’s not unthinkable. EW: What are the odds that you make the Olympics if you continue along your present trajectory? KL: Zero, literally no chance. EW: What is the hardest thing about being a frat star/future Olympian? KL: Sleep deprivation and my quads. EW: What advice do you have for all the kids out there who want to walk the fine line between athlete and frat star? KL: Do not major in engineering. I would recommend enrolling in Alabama or Florida. EW: What is your opinion of trickle-down economics? Can you give an example of this in your frat/ athletic life? KL: Perfect Frat Life example. Frats buy the kegs for all campus parties, and then the beer trickles down to even the lowliest freshmen. Everybody benefits. Editor ’s note: We at On Fire do not condone drinking by freshmen.

SPORTS THE EMORY WHEEL

Friday, April ,  Sports Editor: Nathaniel Ludewig (nludewi@emory.edu)

GOLF

NFL DRAFT

Beej Knows Best: NFL Draft Jayson Patel

respectively. Leading the team on the blue side, freshman Jonathan Gerrard took 19th place with a score of 150 (76-74). Freshmen Max Goodley 152 (75-77) and Jack Williams 152 (79-73) both tied for 32nd place. Freshmen Vince Sirianni and Andrew Namkoong followed with scores of 159 (80-79) and 160 (78-82), respectively. “Overall the event was a great success, ” Sjoberg said. “The Druid Hills Golf Club, their members and staff were great hosts and we look forward

Hello Emory (and all of Michigan and Syracuse), and welcome to yet another Beej Knows Best. Since this is the weekend of the final four, pretty much the rest of Long Island that did not go to Emory will be visiting this weekend, so here ’s a shout-out to everyone staying over. I hope you have a great time. Speaking of the weekend, it was about time that we finally got some actual Atlanta weather. Enjoy the 70s-plus temperatures. But enough small talk. Football season is obviously a bit slow around this time, because teams have pretty much filled out their rosters and are now focusing on pro days and setting up their big board for the upcoming draft. The NFL draft is, in my opinion, the greatest draft in all of sports, because every single-draft pick is expected to have an impact at the next level. In the NFL, high draft picks are valued more than some superstars, and a good draft can potentially shoot a team from the cellar into the playoffs (see: Indianapolis Colts 201213). Since 1998, a game-changing or potentially team-decimating quarterback has been chosen with the top overall pick in every draft but three. However, this year ’s draft does not present a clear-cut quarterback — or any player, for that matter — who will be the first overall pick. Over the next three weeks, more information will surface about which prospect

See GOLF, Page 11

See PATEL, Page 11

Courtesy of Emory Athletics

Senior David Collura tracks the ball after a swing. Collura wrapped up his final home tournament as an Eagle with a two-day score of 154 (79-75). The Eagles finished in ninth out of 15 teams. Emory also sent a “B” team which finished 10th.

Eagles Not Up to Par at Spring Invitational By Seanette Ting Contributing Writer

The No. 7-ranked Eagles placed ninth of 15 teams while hosting the Emory Spring Invitational this past week. Emory ’s “B ” team, also known as the “blue ” team, finished in 10th place. The two-day event was played April 1-2 at the 6,860-yard, par-72 Druid Hills Golf Club. At the Invitational, Oglethorpe University took first place with a score of 571 (287-284), Methodist University (N.C.) placed second with 578 (285293) and Huntingdon College (Ala.)

finished third at 589 (299-290). The Eagles finished out their home tournament with a score of 609 (304305). The blue team was two strokes behind with a 611 mark (308-303). “It was a really tough event for the Eagles, ” Head Coach John Sjoberg said. “We did not play very well either day as a team, but the one bright spot was Wunderlich ’s round on Monday. ” Spearheading the team, sophomore Alex Wunderlich carded a 148 (71-77) in the 36-hole event. Wunderlich ’s one-under score on Monday was the most notable Eagle

performance, leading to a 16th place finish in a field of 78 players. “The greens were aerated a few weeks ago, and the weather prevented them from healing fully, so there was a bit of luck involved in putts, ” Wunderlich said. “I fought off a couple bad holes to stay in it and finish under par. ” Junior Johnathan Chen followed with an eight-over mark of 152 (7775), good for 32nd place. “We wish we played better, but there are always positives to be taken from a poor performance, ” Chen said. “We need to not take anything for

FINAL FOUR

COLUMN

Sports Genie: Spring Blues

Baseball The baseball team fell to Birmingham-Southern College (Ala.) yesterday afternoon 12-1. The loss dropped the Eagles record to 13-12 on the season. The Eagles managed just two hits in the game. Their only run came in the first inning, when junior shortstop Jared Kahn walked, stole second and scored on a throwing error. Sophomore pitcher Michael Byman took the loss for the Eagles, and his record fell to 0-1 on the season. The baseball team will attempt to bounce back this weekend with a three-game series against Hendrix College (Ark.). The Eagles are currently 13-12 on the season and 5-3 on the road. This is only the fourth time the two teams have met. The Eagles won the first three, sweeping another weekend series in 2011.

Track and Field The men ’s and women ’s track and field teams will continue their outdoor season this weekend. They are sending their top runners to the Duke Invitational, hosted by Duke University (N.C.) and the rest of the teams will compete in the Terrier Relays at Wofford College (S.C.).

By Bennett Ostdiek Asst. Sports Editor

Ucumari/Flickr

The NCAA Final Four will be played at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta this weekend.

March Madness Heads to ATL

Featured Athlete: Megan Light In last weekend ’s Salute to the Troops Tournament, hosted by Rhodes College (Tenn.), Light hit for a .625 average in helping the Eagles win three games and extend their winning streak to 18 games. Light recorded five hits in eight at-bats, including four home runs. The home runs moved her into first place on Emory ’s all-time list, with 27 in her career.

granted and reset to focusing on the Navy Invitational coming up in a couple weeks. ” Senior David Collura wrapped up his last home tournament as an Eagle with a two-day score of 154 (79-75). “David ’s been a great asset to the team on and off the course, ” Chen said. “His seniority and knowledge over the years really has helped guide the team in a better direction, and I look forward to playing with him in these last two events. ” Juniors Alec Berens and Will Roth rounded out the team ’s scores with 155 (77-78) and 160 (81-79),

Brian Chavkin As the Final Four approaches, many people are ecstatic that it will be played right here in Atlanta at the Georgia Dome. Many fans who filled out brackets are pleasantly surprised with the teams that have made it to this point in the season. But if you look closely, all four of the teams got hot at the right time. These teams will need to con-

tinue to lean on what got them here in order to move on to the championship Monday night. Louisville is the clear favorite to take home the championship Monday night. They were the best team coming in to the tournament and still are the best team out of the four left. The Cardinals will need to rely on their guard play over the next two games, just like they have all season. Russ Smith is the primary scorer for this Louisville squad while Peyton Siva is the player that makes everything run smoothly on both the offensive and defensive side of the ball. If either of these guys are off

See CHAVKIN, Page 11

My Houston Astros have reached a new low. They started the season off 1-0 (see last Thursday ’s Sports Genie for a more in-depth discussion of this exciting event) but have since fallen to 1-2, and all leading experts (and by that, I mostly mean myself) in the field of baseball predictions expect the Astros to never again bring their record above .500. To add insult to injury, the Astros cannot even lose properly. They lost their perfect season to a near-perfect game Tuesday night. Through eight and two-thirds innings, Yu Darvish had pitched fairly decently against the Astros. I did not witness this in person, but I feel I can assume this based on the fact that he sent back to the dugout the first 26 men who entered the batter ’s box. He struck out 14 of said batters, an astronomical number, and only allowed two men at all to make solid contact. But to throw a perfect game, one must retire 27 batters in a row. On Tuesday night, the 27th batter for the Astros was shortstop Marwin Gonzalez. Based on the fact that Mr. Gonzalez is a shortstop who bats in the nine-hole for the very worst team in baseball, my readers can safely assume that he ’s not a particularly terrifying presence in the batter ’s box, especially when you have retired the first 26 men you have faced. Especially when, in the two previous times you have faced him in the game, you have induced him to strike out and ground out. Also, his name is almost Marvin, but not quite, which is kind of weird. Before Gonzalez came to the plate, Darvish had handled the first two batters of the inning with a grand total of three pitches. It was the fourth pitch of the inning that did him in.

Darvish delivered a fastball, and Gonzalez connected, sending a low liner back to the mound. Darvish sent his glove down in an attempt to stop the ball, but it was going just fast enough and bounced at just the right time to go through his legs and up the middle for a single. And with that, the Houston Astros ruined what could have been the 25th perfect game in major league history. We seriously cannot do anything right. On June 13 of last year, the Astros successfully allowed a perfect game to be thrown against them. Matt Cain of the Giants did the honors. Gonzalez ’s single prevented the Astros from earning the distinction of being on the losing end on two perfect games within 10 months of each other. Which would have been cool or at least a decent conversation starter. But at least the Astros acted with characteristic grace and class after breaking up the perfect game. Alan Ashby, the radio announcer for the Astros, remarked of Darvish after he gave up the single to Gonzalez, “That ’ll force a guy to learn some of the language here in America. ” I have done some research into the nature of Darvish ’s English abilities. It turns out that it is not his first

language. He knows enough to be fluent in conversation however, but he prefers to do interviews in Japanese with a translator. I will acknowledge that Ashby probably had not conducted the same research that I had

before making his joke. That is fair — very few media outlets hold t h e m selves to the same st a nd a r d s of journalistic rigor that we do here at The Emory

Wheel. But I still cannot entirely figure out the point that Ashby was trying to make. It seems to me that one can kick trash-cans and throw breakable objects at walls whether or not you know English. Maybe he was implying that Darvish would want See OSTDIEK, Page 11