Rubric
Sally Wilcrest Women's Public Mental Hospital ID number: 8372648
April 10, 2017 Mom and Dad 4321 First Street Anytown, State ZIP Dear mom and dad,
It has now been eight years since I was admitted to the British Columbia mental health hospital. I am astonished day after day by the treatment I endure here. I’m terrified everyday and get so lonely. I’m often confined to my room or ward, denied of ground privileges, and occasionally under physical restraints. It gets so lonely, I have no friends here and I’ve lost all my friends from high school, its like they want you to be alone in this. I mean, I haven’t even seen you guys, my own parents, in years. Not that I blame you guys, I know hospital is so far from home, it really does make visitation nearly impossible. Sadly, I am not the only one who hasn’t seen their parents in years; some are even disowned. It’s almost as if any attempt made to “maintain a lifeline” is purposefully repressed which makes recovery that much harder. As if extensive isolation wasn’t enough, treatment intervention is not a rare thing around here. Drugs are administered left and right, and electroshock therapy is slightly less common, but more prevalent than you could even imagine. I can’t explain to you what its like to be on all these medications they give us, I feel like a zombie. Every ounce of my being is stripped from me. They control every aspect of my life without any concern of how I feel or what I am going through. I don’t even feel human anymore. There’s this unending feeling of being watched. Everything I do, think, say, and express are so closely monitored and I have very little freedom. Many of us are sprinkled in general population, as opposed to a specialized facility; this subjects us to intense control. I don’t know how they think we will ever get better when our individuality is suppressed, we are mistreated, and isolated. You can’t help but feel trapped while you’re in here. Not only are you surrounded by a ton of people who are not like you, but you are so confined its often just you; friendships aren’t easy to come by in here. That combined with being located so far from my friends and family, has made me feel forgotten and I am loosing hope, fast.
Mom, dad I truly am scared of this place. I am doing all I can to convince them I’m better so I can go home, but I've truly lost hope. And thats the scariest part. I look around me and know I will be surrounded by this for the rest of my life. I’m trapped here.
Sincerely,
your daughter.
Shelby Morrow Tiffany Isaacs April 17, 2017 ENC 2135-38
Genre 1: Letter
For my first genre, I remediated my research into a letter. By taking the details found in my research I was able to write an emotional, first-hand account of the events that transpire in the women’s public mental hospital in British Columbia. The intended audience was the patient’s parents. “She” was writing to “her” parents as a terrified girl, enlightening them of the ways in which “she” and the other women were mistreated. “She” went into great detail of not only what was occurring, but how it made her feel. The whole time I was writing the letter in “her” point of view I was thinking of the ways in which I could use the rhetorical appeal, pathos to my advantage and tug on those heart strings of the audience. While I was writing, I wanted the patient to exhibit a sense of vulnerability, fear, and dependence; I was able to accomplish this through specific word choice and tone. The tone throughout the paper is quite somber; it effectively reflected the darkness the hospital embodies. Through the “girls” letter it became evident how toxic the hospital was and how mistreatment can change someone, as by the end of the letter she was expressing her hopelessness. “She” lost hope of not only recovery, but of freedom- never getting out of there because their lifelines are shot and they are forgotten. I emphasized that quite a few times because I thought that was especially heartbreaking.
Diction and syntax were other key contributors to the construction of this letter. It was important to consider how the “girl” would talk to her parents. After thinking long and hard, I came to the conclusion she would be very casual; therefore, I used very mundane speech in the letter, intentionally. Although, it makes the letter seem less put together, I think it is quite realistic and more likely to be how a letter like that would go. For the presentation, I have prepared a voice recording of the letter. I did this because I am not good at acting nor reading with emotion and I didn’t want my lack of talent to take away from the effectiveness of the letter, so I recorded a friend reading the letter. She intentionally read slow and as if she was the “girl” in the letter reading it. I decided to do this because I thought it would effectively get my point across, instead of reading my letter in a monotone voice during the presentation, it is as if the “girl” from the letter is reading it. By adding an additional sense for the audience, it further emphasizes the emotions in the letter. Not only can the audience read how scared, lonely, sad, and hopeless she is, but they can hear it. I think this makes the genre even more effective because during the presentation they will be able to follow the letter while its being read, as if the “girl” from the letter is reading it to them.