Fire at one end final version

Fire at one end, the fool’s mouth at the other end

By Ramanathan Menon

“Following is the confession of my sad, severe, suffering, satanic and sickening saga of a sin called ‘Addicted Cigarette Smoking’ which millions and millions of people continue doing” What began as fun became a life-long addiction

procession of beautifully decorated temple chariots drawn through the streets by thousands of devotees.”

Our family consists of my dad, mom, my younger sister and me. My dad retired from Madras City Police service and we had to leave Chennai for our native place in Kerala State.

We lived in the out house of my mom’s elder sister and my dad was busy with the construction work of our own house in a nearby plot.

Meantime, I made few friends.

Let me begin the story. I very strongly remember the first day of my initiation into the habit of smoking. It was November. The nearby Kalpathy village was busy gearing up for its annual ‘Kalpathy Car (or Chariot) Festival.’

Little details about this famous festival in Palakkad. “Kalpathy Viswanatha Swamy temple was built in 1425 A.D and is considered to be the oldest Siva temple in South Kerala. There are number of temples in Palakkad, one attached to each of the 20 gramams (villages) in the town.

Situated on the banks of the Nila / Kalpathy river, Kalpathy is one of the well-known gramams (villages) of Palakkad. Kalpathy actually consists of: 1. Puthiya (New) Kalpathy 2.

Pazhaya (Old) Kalpathy.”

The chief and most richly endowed in Kalpathy is dedicated to Lord Shiva, A low quadrangular temple on the banks of Kalpathy River.

Legend has it that one Lakshmi Amma, a widow in Sekhari Puram came back from Kashi and gave the prince Itikombi Achan 1320 gold coins in 1424-25 AD and requested him to build the temple of Siva.

Hence, saying " Kasiyil Pathi Kalpathy. " i.e. half of Kasi is Kalpathy.”

“Another view regarding Kalpathy being linked to Kasi is that the main diety is Siva and the temple is on the banks of the Neela Nadhi just as Kasi is on the banks of the Ganges.

Ratholsavam (Chariot Festival) at Sri Viswanatha Swami Temple, Kalpathy Ratholsavam is a spectacular

My cousin brothers and friends numbering around a dozen were planning to go to Kalpathy after 9:00 P.M. to spend the whole night there, watching the carnival, 12:00 AM cinema, etc.

I was tempted by one of my cousin brothers to join the gang. Since my cousin was elder to me and on his recommendation my parents allowed me to go with him to Kalpathy and return home next morning.

We walked more than 5 kilometers and come across the Kalpathy River.

The night was really enchanting. The sky was thronged with millions of stars and the moon was playing a hide and seek game….surfacing and hiding amidst the clouds…it was very cold and we had no sweaters.

All we had with each of us was a cotton towel known as ‘Thorthu Mundu.’

We made the thorthu mundu into a turban to cover our ears and thus got some relief from the biting cold. We crossed the river which had only small streams of water here and there. In November, any time and any moment the river can be flooded with the flow of rushing water from the nearby high mountains and then it will become too dangerous to cross. So we were very cautious while crossing the river which is not very wide.

and enjoying the puff except me.

After seeing that only I am not smoking, my elder cousin brother offered me a cigarette and even lighted it for me, telling me that there is no harm if I smoke a cigarette for the sake of fun and to withstand the biting cold. Then I did. I smoked my first cigarette.

That time I remembered a quote ‘the most delightful thing in the world is the last puff of a cigarette.” So, I smoked until the cigarette’s butt burned my fingers!!

Chain smoking, heart breaking….

That night for me Kalpathy looked like a heaven with the colourful lightings and so many other things.

We were just moving slowly taking a look at each and every small stall at the fair. In one stall, the vendor was offering many lucky prizes. One can buy any number of covers from him but each cover will cost just 4 annas (i.e. today’s 25 paise). Inside the cover, there will be a small chit bearing a number. The lucky prizes will be carrying numbers on them.

We will get the prize with the number marked on the small chit inside the cover that we bought.

As there were many novelty items that I liked, I gave a 4 anna coin to the vendor and pulled an envelope.

That cover contained a chit with the number 10 and the number 10 was written on a cardboard box fully wrapped with a brown paper. I took the box and opened it with excitement to see a valuable gift.

Unfortunately, what I found was 10 red coloured cigarette packets with big letters ‘John Peel’ written on them.

As I never smoked a cigarette before that, because I hated cigarette smoking, I gave away those packets to my cousin who distributed the packets within the gang. In the chilled weather, everyone started smoking

Next day, I bought a cheap brand cigarette and smoked half of it. After lunch, I stole a cigarette from my dad’s pocket and smoked.

I continued my smoking…from one cigarette it went to 4 cigarettes in a day. All from the pocket money that my dad gave me. I used to eat bubble gum to hide the cigarette smell because I don’t want my parents know about my smoking.

After one year I got a job in Coimbatore. Once I started earning, I had increased the number of cigarettes and also changed the brand. As a result, I was not only spoiling my health but also wasting my income. Being young, I never thought of these two important aspects in life very seriously.

I made progress in my career. My income increased. Simultaneously the status of my smoking also progressed. Cigarette smoking became most important in my life.

Even I can forgo my breakfast, lunch or dinner but not a pack of cigarettes.

If I have exhausted the stock of cigarettes, I used to walk any distance to buy cigarettes and I never cared whether it is midnight, heavy rain, or any other catastrophie.

Cigarette became my life-saving gadget, my only companion when I am sad or when I am happy.

I needed a cigarette first thing in the morning while going to the toilet, I needed a cigarette immediately after the breakfast, lunch or dinner…I needed the cigarette when I was alone and nothing to do, I needed a cigarette to think deeply and make any serious decisions, I needed a cigarette to give me company while waiting for a bus, I needed a cigarette while traveling in train.

When the smoking is restricted in trains, I used to stand inside the toilet and smoke.. Thus, cigarette became a part of me and my life. I was fully addicted to the nicotine. Holding a cigarette between my lips gave me courage, self-confidence, happiness, peace of mind, satisfaction.

Because of my smoking habit, many of my friends kept a distance from me. My parents were angry and worried. They did all their best to advise me to stop this bad habit. But I had turned a deaf ear to all of them.

At times I had wondered and even laughed alone with the thought that if I had kept the cigarettes I had smoked so far in a row one after another, the row might have covered a distance of many kilometers!! With the money that I had burnt on the habit of cigarette smoking, I could have very easily bought a 1 BHK flat in Mumbai. But I never thought of a secured future life at that time…

In a group of smokers, there is always unity one could see. A person will light the cigarette, take a puff, pass it on to another guy, then another guy, until the cigarette

becomes too small and no tobacco is left in it….If there is only two smokers and they have one cigarette, they will make a hole in the middle of the cigarette and light the cigarette at the hole…so one can smoke from one end and the other person from the other end. With this method no tobacco is wasted….two people can smoke a cigarette without the spit of the other person on the tip of the cigarette….hygiene is strictly followed!!

Every year on the 31st of December I take a vow that I will not smoke again. However, the first thing on the New Year day I do was to buy a cigarette and smoke…and the vow is postponed to next year…likewise many years rolled but I smoked and smoked. I tried many methods to stop this bad habit…the more I tried new techniques, I had to spend more on them too, but smoking habit continued.

Once my employer sent me to a clinic for a medical check up. The doctor warned me that if I had to live for some more years I must stop smoking….but I never had given any importance or seriousness to his advise because by that time I was a slave of Nicotine.

My dad warned me to stop, my mom warned me to stop, my relatives and friends warned me to stop, my wife warned me to stop and finally my daughter warned me to stop….but I was deaf, I was adamant, and I was addicted…I used to tell my wife and daughter that after my death if they want to remember my day of death, they should keep a pack of Wills cigarette and a vax-vesta match at the place where I was cremated !!

“Man proposes but God disposes.”

This Proverb statement tells that whatever man proposes as his objective to achieve by exercising his will power, efforts and intellectual potentialities, there is a limit to his abilities and there is some

supernatural power – God - to determine the shape of things and its end. Sometimes or most of the times the end may be against man's proposal. That is what happened in my case!

Miracles can happen in our lives…and such a miracle happed in my life, too…..it was end of July 2013…my wife and I went on a ‘Nalambalam Pilgrimage’ to Angadipuram. The pilgrimage is such that we have to visit 4 temples (Rama, Lakshmana, Shatrugna and Bharatha)...

We came home in the evening…I had only one cigarette left with me….Before lighting it, I made a promise to my wife that this is the my last cigarette (I might have made thousands of promises to her before that!!)..I lighted the cigarette, took three or four puffs and thrown away the half smoked cigarette. That was my last cigarette…

After that every moment looked like a day to me….the urge for the nicotine fill was pressing me very hard…but I don’t know some kind of force in me gave me the strength to postpone the urge or forget about it….this way, days flew away, weeks came, months came and years came…but no burning cigarette came in between my lips!! But this was not the end….I began to suffer because of lack of nicotine supply into my system….There were sleepless nights, nightmares and hallucinations.

Once someone recommended me to consult an Ayurvedic doctor to get some medicine for getting sound sleep..I did but no relief.

Thereafter I felt I had ulcer, I went to a gastroenteritis specialist…his prescriptions contained some pills to put me to sleep. Then I had the ultrasound test and the Doctor told me that I have fatty liver which is not that dangerous. I had Abscess on my

back for many years…I don’t know, it may be the deposit of nicotine…anyway I got it operated and removed….this was the last one.Since then I never visited any hospital or doctor for any check ups or treatment…now-a-days I am having sufficient sleep, good appetite and lead somewhat a normal life. My temporary losses are that I had lost my courage, self-confidence and drive. Very often I felt loneliness.

In my opinion, I don’t think government regulations, higher taxes on cigarettes, and tougher stopsmoking laws are the right steps to go on a war against ‘smoking’. I think it should start from home, by showing our kids in our ACTIONS that this is not something that they should do and talking to them about why?

Children learn more from watching television programs, advertising, and parent than they do from hearing lectures. Take a minute and see what examples you are setting for your family with your actions. Is there anything you’d like to change?

Would you be okay with your children imitating what they see in your home? No, never.

It’s been around 4 years since I had my last cigarette. And, if I picked one up today, I would be a smoker again by the time I finished it. I am 69 now and I want to live for few more years without much health problems….I am finally happy that I could withdraw myself permanently from the bad habit of smoking….thanks to my loving family for tolerating my bad habit for so many years…their prayers were finally heard…and I feel reborn again !!

Ends…..

(Facebook: Moothedath Ramanathan Menon – Web: http://issuu.com/energyblitz & www.energyblitz.in )