Wedding Emotions

There are so many things to consider when planning a wedding - it’s downright overwhelming! You’re not alone if you’re feeling weighed down, frustrated or just downright dreading your wedding. This feeling is very common among brides and can ruin your wedding if you let it - but where does it come from? What is this that I’m feeling and why?

Recognizing your feelings, consciously investigating their causes and addressing them is an important self-care tactic. Doing this really allows you to identify issues that may exist below the surface and could be affecting more than you realize. Large events or family gatherings - Weddings included - act as a magnet and magnifying glass for these issues. Things you thought were resolved or didn’t bother you at the time can fester and lie right below the surface just waiting to erupt. Lots of brides recommend doing a spa day to relax and prepare mentally for your big day, but it’s also important to take emotional stock of your life and what’s happening - because a lot of things are changing for you at this time in your life.

Family pressures are some of the most common issues brides face, and it goes hand in hand with trying to please everyone. When you’re planning your wedding, you spend so much time getting advice from others and families are usually involved in varying levels. It takes a lot of courage and self-confidence to take charge of how you envision your wedding happening, but remember: your wedding is for you and your love. Agreeing to something you don’t want for the sole reason of pleasing mom, dad, aunt, friend - WHOEVER - is not a good enough reason. This is YOUR day, an expression of you and your partner’s love for each other. Everyone besides the two of you are guests at your wedding. Not the other way around.

Many wedding traditions, ceremonies or even trends can shape your wedding day and a lot of brides use these as foundations on which they build and plan their wedding. Just make sure to listen to your gut (you know, that little voice inside your head) and don’t let societal roles define your wedding. If there’s something you don’t like about a portion of the ceremony - don’t do it! If there’s something that means a lot to you and your partner that would just make the day even more special - do it! Your wedding is as unique as you are - let your love shine throughout the day!! Weddings don’t have to be a somber and tradition-heavy occasion (unless you want it to be, then by all means you do you!).

On the day of your wedding, you’re going to be experiencing a lot of emotions. Like, all of the emotions. The sheer emotional stress of the day and how you handle it can definitely make or break you. That’s why we’re talking about dealing with some of these emotions beforehand so you’re ready for them to pop up unexpectedly on your wedding day. Do you have childhood trauma (and let’s be real - we all do) that you haven’t really dealt with? PRIOR to

the wedding is a good time to take care of that. Everyone has trauma of some shape or size, and you need to be very aware of the triggers that bring it up for you. Let’s see if you can fill in the blanks here. Rocky past history with your ______________? _______________ hasn’t been around much of your life but suddenly is all up in your business? Your ________________ thinks everything you’ve done so far with the wedding is all wrong?

Be honest, these are the things that keep you up at night - or that you wake up in the middle of the night suddenly worried about. How can you take control? By addressing these issues intentionally and in a healthy way. Don’t let them keep you up at night. Set aside a time for you to write out all of these fears, doubts, relationship issues and really take a look at them. It’s okay to allow yourself to feel them. Maybe write out one thing you’d like to say to fix it. This is the most important part, though, so stay with me! Once you have all of those things written out in front of you, crumple it up. Uncrumple it. Crumple it again. Throw it. Burn it. Do whatever you need to do to release those feelings in a cathartic way.

Giving yourself the permission to experience these tough emotions, address them, and then let them go will allow you to be fully present on your wedding day. You’ll have already dealt with the little nagging issues that have bugged you for months and when something happens on your wedding day it won’t be the last straw! You will feel more peace and have the ability to truly enjoy your day. Self-care is something all brides absolutely must do! Especially in a world as chaotic as this one. Don’t let your self-care routine stop with physical things. Your future self will thank you!

Abby Heidenreich Day One dayoneweddings.net abby@dayoneweddings.net