From the Publisher’s Notebook
of this certain apple for $4.49. It was already bagged in a bag that read four pounds. I picked the bag I wanted and decided to weigh it just to check.
pounds. If they short you a half pound that’s 54 cents. You are paying too much. I could go on and on but you get the idea. Check – keep them honest.
When I put it on the scale it weighed three-and-a-half
- Paul E. Burke Sr.
What the hell are they thinking? the condo and almost spit on the chicken plant. It’d with utter disbelief I hear that people are spending over a This smell wafts over most of the million dollars to move in the southside or as I have named it area of the chicken odor. – “The Yuppie Ghetto”. I guess the frenzy to be cool and move If you don’t know what I’m talk- to the southside overrules coming about, it’s the smell that mon sense. To the people who comes from the chicken plant in have moved into the smell zone the southside of Chattanooga. – hold your nose and have a happy life. Pee yew. In the last couple of weeks after eating in one of my favorite Check your receipt. I have local home cooking restaurants, found on many occasions mis-
I paid and went outside to takes on my receipt from drug return to my car. or grocery stores. You wonder if these mistakes are in error. The odor that washed over me almost made me nauseous. It Many, many times I have caught was awful. prices that were supposed to be on sale at their regular price I don’t think I have ever smelled when rung up at the register. anything worse. Gag, gag, gag. I have also caught them charging I couldn’t believe that right next for each item when it’s supposed door to the plant where the to be buy one – get one free. odor came from was a one and a quarter million dollar condo for My latest incident occurred at sale. That’s right - $1,250,000. my favorite supermarket. They You could stand on the road of had a sign that said four pounds ENIGMA
Across 1. Swift 6. Draws into mouth 11. Globe 14. Join 15. Customary 16. Command to a horse 17. Refined iron 18. Light wood 19. Shelter 20. Recluses 22. Yourself (Archaic) 24. Intersects 26. Snivelers 30. Gibes 34. Fish eggs 35. Shred 36. Arabian market 37. Female given name 39. Utah native American 40. Coyly 41. Undesirable plant 42. Foment 44. Period of human life 45. Pertaining to sound 46. Meshed 48. Courage 49. Rattling sound 54. Small house 59. Acknowledgement of debt 60. Meat 62. Personification of peace (Female myth.) 63. Large cask 64. Wide open 65. Marine growth 66. Eastern daylight-saving time 67. One who ties 68. Crams
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Down 1. Hurry 2. Poker stake 3. Pillar 4. Separate article 5. Fragile 6. Replace 7. North American nation 8. Sect 9. Wool and goat's hair fabric (TM) 10. Kill 11. Look at amorously 12. Spool 13. Flesh of a cow 21. Brass wind instrument 23. Hiding place 25. Solidifying 26. Ships' companies 27. Lover of Juliet 28. Republic in S Arabia 29. Puckered fabric 31. Pertaining to a sovereign 32. Protuberance 33. Tossed 38. Utterly stupid person 40. People afflicted with spasms 43. To (Archaic) 47. Release 49. Call to mind 50. Noisy 51. Wife of one's uncle 52. Former Russian ruler 53. Harvest 55. Believe (Archaic) 56. Air-related (prefix) 57. Midge 58. Long fish 61. Monkey
desire towards them. He, on the other hand, I don’t know the cir cumstances for his issues so I can’t diagnose. Sometimes it takes two broken souls to create one beauti ful one. If they are truly in love and not just settling be supportive and be the friend they will need as they move forward. Dear Rocco, How is it that Keith Richards remains alive and well and those who seem to live a healthier lifestyle are dropping dead around him? MJ
Dear Rocco, Why do you think here is so much gang violence and bitter protests reminiscent of the ‘60s? LK Dear LK, Stupidity. Also lack of intelligence and the disintegration of the fami ly and lack of morality. While around obviously since the begin ning of time its been within the last 100 years or so that sex has been observed as a game or reward instead of its original intent, that intent being procreation in order to keep our species alive. Instead to day we make fun of morality, we often get married for odd reasons – sometimes out of loneliness, a whim or to “get away” from our parents or just a “whim”. Hell, so me have woken up from a drunken stupor to find out they are married. As a society we are constantly bar raged by advertising glorifying sex, the human body and so on with the consequences. In the last 30 years after the sexual revolution we have seen a dramatic if not haunting rise in sexually transmitted diseases and diseases such as herpes and aids which did not become part of the culture until the 1980s. Unfortunately now it is considered a badge of honor to have contract ed an STD and people with AIDs are considered “Brave” and “heroic” despite most of the time they con tracted the disease from immoral behavior and those that did not contract the disease from immoral behavior it was the immoral behav ior from someone down the line that at some point ended up infect ed an innocent person. However society does not see it that way. A
Dear MJ, Keith has put so many toxic sub stances in his body that they’ve log-jammed in his system. They’ve built like a mini defense system so he is impervious to death. However the moment he actually put something healthy in his body he may loosen this log-jam and may drop dead. He is indeed a modern medical miracle – and a hell of a guitarist.
by-product of sex is children. Unwanted pregnancies are high among the poor because apparently they have nothing to do with their spare time. “I’m bored. Wanna screw?” They end up having kids they don’t want and ironi cally some are against abortion (as am I) yet aren’t against responsible sexual relations. The government gives them handouts to raise the kids, often one of the parents (usu- Dear Rocco, ally the father) is not around and My friend keeps messing with this the kid is put in front of a TV girl that doesn’t reciprocate his instead of the parent being responsible for rearing their child cor rectly - the basic breakdown of the family. Everyone wants to belong and the kids find like-minded friends often not disciplined or encouraged or force to in activities that alleviate their boredom, their lack of attention and in some cases lack of money because their family has little or doesn’t have enough according to standards set by what is broadcast on media. Often these activities involve violence, theft and other illegal activities. And of course it’s society’s fault. Dear Rocco, My friend is getting married to a girl of rumored ill-repute. On the other hand he has been in trouble a few times but is actually a good person despite a few missteps. Should I congratulate him or warn him? WC Dear WC, Seems like they may make perfect partners in crime. Usually a woman’s reputation if often blown out of proportion due to lies, jeal ousy and someone else’s spurned ENIGMA
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obvious love for her and uses his infatuation for financial gain and reassurance. Why? DA Dear DA, Low self-esteem on both parts. If he is not an only child his parents mayhave showed more attention to the other siblings and made excuses for them. They may also see your friend as the strong one who has his stuff together and doesn’t need the attention even though we all crave a little attention. She on the other hand may be a spoiled brat who has gotten away with stuff because of her looks and shallowness with your friend feeding these insecurities and therefore not getting his love reciprocated.
Rocco is a common sense, tell-itlike-it-is, no-nonsense kind of guy offering real advice on any subject put before him. Why pay thousands of dollars on a high-priced therapist when he’ll straighten you out for free. If you’d like advice from Rocco e-mail him at goaskrocco@yahoo.com or drop him a line at Ask Rocco c/o Enigma P.O. Box 825 Chattanooga, TN 37401.
ARIES (Mar. 21- April 20) Your intuition will be right on. Follow your feelings in matters pertaining to financial investments. Time to deal with institutional environments, government agencies, and matters of a private nature this month. You need to take a break with the ones you love. You can come up with solutions to the problems responsible for inefficiencies at work. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Friday. TAURUS (Apr. 21- May 21) Plan a day of enjoyment with them. You will be a bit of a spendthrift this month. Money problems will get
worse if your partner hasn't been CANCER playing by the rules. Involvement in (June 22-July 22) groups of interest will bring you in You should put your efforts into touch with important individuals. creative projects. Social events will be plentiful. You will be ready to Your luckiest events this month will jump on anyone who gets in the way occur on a Thursday. of your progress this month. Try to be precise in your communications. GEMINI (May 22-June 21) Your luckiest events this month will Think about starting your own small occur on a Tuesday. business, Travel could bring you the adventure and excitement you LEO require. You can make drastic (July 23-Aug 22) changes in your professional direc- Take a second look; another person's tion this month. You will be drawn to philosophy may be extremely differindividuals who can provide you with ent from yours. Don't let friends conboth intellectual conversation and vince you that you should contribute physical passion. to something you don't believe in. Efforts made to improve yourself will Your luckiest events this month will turn out to your satisfaction. Visitors occur on a Friday. may relieve the tension.
talent will prove to be lucrative if put to proper use. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Sunday. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 -Dec. 21) Try to do things with children that will enable you to bond closer to them. Avoid lending money or belongings to friends. Try to convince a good friend to take a holiday with you. Don't be taken advantage of by any fast talking salesperson trying to part you from your cash. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Tuesday.
CAPRICORN (Dec 22.- Jan. 20) Take care of chores that have been Your luckiest events this month will hanging over your head. Digestive occur on a Sunday. disorders will be a result of family squabbles. Take time to catch up on VIRGO gossip and make plans to do a little (Aug. 23 -Sept. 23) adventure travel. Be careful of disYou should put in some extra hours closing personal information. developing that creative idea you have. All your energy should be Your luckiest events this month will directed into moneymaking opportu- occur on a Sunday. nities. Plan some family outings. Be firm when dealing with matters per- AQUARIUS taining to your environment. (Jan. 21 -Feb. 19) Try not to judge too quickly. You Your luckiest events this month will need to sit back and enjoy. Go out occur on a Thursday. shopping this month. You can make career moves that will bring you a LIBRA much higher income. (Sept. 24 -Oct. 23) Set a limit, or you'll wind up on a Your luckiest events this month will tight budget. Take time to look at any occur on a Thursday. outdated papers or possible investments. Trips will be enjoyable, and PISCES communication with your lover will (Feb. 20-Mar. 20) clear up any misconceptions. Help Don't get involved in secret affairs or children with important projects. underhanded involvement's. Be firm when dealing with matters pertaining Your luckiest events this month will to your environment. You can expect occur on a Friday. to have problems with your mate if you've been spending too much time SCORPIO away from home. You will feel the (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) limitations if you have been overdoUnfortunately, your personal life ing it. may suffer from a lack spare time. Look into real estate. You should be Your luckiest events this month will promoting your ideas. Your creative occur on a Sunday.
ENIGMA
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This Is The End We’ll never see another presidential election like this one… and I say that confidently, despite the fact that we’re still in the primary phase. This the craziest election cycle in my lifetime and no sane person believes that the craziness has peaked. In just the last week, Republican presidential frontrunner Donald J. Trump’s campaign manager was charged with battery of a female reporter at a campaign event in North Carolina. One of the attorneys representing Corey Lewandowski in that case, Kendall Coffey, is a former U.S. attorney who resigned after he bit a stripper while running up a $900 tab at a night club in South Dade County. You really can’t make this stuff up. Meanwhile, Trump and Ted
Cruz have been taking nasty gates to win the nomination fall short of the magical 1,237 potshots at each other’s wives before the party’s July’s con- delegates required to seal the Republican spot on the general election ballot. A contested convention will favor Kasich. The GOP establishment hates the way Trump has hijacked their party and their primary process… and they just plain hate Cruz. Here’s the thing: At 10 previously contested Republican conventions, the front-runner became the nominee only three times. The billionaire political hobbyist has via Twitter and in television vention. His only (very slim) now said that he won’t support interviews… chance of winding up as the any Republican nominee other GOP nominee is for Trump to than himself. Trump has also …Ohio Governor John Kasich, the closest thing to a “voice of reason” among the three Republican candidates left in the race, has absolutely zero chance of getting enough dele-
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info@enigmaonline.com (423) 991-1657
Paul E. Burke Sr. Publisher D.A. Weinthal. Editor-In-Chief Chris Eason Photo Editor
Contributing Editors: Mark Haskins, Jim Sells, Mark Bedford. Chris McKay, David N. Marks, William Alexander, Dave Fernandez Founder: D.A. Weinthal Like us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter @EnigmaMag www.enigmaonline.com ENIGMA
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warned that there will be rioting if the GOP establishment tries to block his nomination (presuming his substantial lead lasts into the convention). And he’s probably right…
completely alienate the wealthy donors who are already pissed off at the Republican National Committee’s inability to control “their” primary…
…Regardless of who winds up as the Republican nominee, the party is fighting for its very survival. The Democrats haven’t won three consecutive presidential elections since Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Harry Truman held the White House for a combined 20 years. (The 22nd Amendment which limits a president to two terms or 10 years in office, came as a direct consequence of that era.) A third consecutive GOP loss in a presidential race, combined with the rise of the freshly declared “Republicans” who have joined the party as Trump bandwagoners, will
…As I’ve mentioned before, the flip side of that situation is happening in the Democratic party. Of the five surviving presidential candidates (not counting the passel of “third party” candidates you’ve never heard of who don’t have an ice cube’s chance in hell of getting elected), only one went into the primaries truly expecting to win and become president. Hillary Clinton. Here’s the challenge. Only one of those five is currently being investigated by the FBI for using a basement mail server to send and receive State Department emails. Hillary Clinton. Clinton could
ENIGMA
be called to testify by the stealing the party’s nomination. Thus far, it’s working… bureau any day now… …Despite that potentially enormous legal hurdle, the Democratic primary deck remains stacked in Clinton’s favor. The party’s “superdelegates,” primarily a nationwide collection of local elected officials and longtime Dem loyalists, aren’t required to vote in line with the results of their state’s primaries. Several “supers” in states where Bernie Sanders won the primary vote have already declared that their votes will go to Clinton. Does this sound a bit shady? You bet it does. But Sanders isn’t technically a Democrat. He’s an independent who chose to run in the Democratic primary. The superdelegate system was devised to prevent a “grass roots” candidate from
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…Even if Bernie falls short of winning the Democratic nomination, he has inspired and energized a voting bloc that won’t just go away after the presidential election. Leaders will emerge from his followers and we might see the emergence of a legit third party from those who don’t feel at home in the current version of the Democratic party. Similarly, the legions of Trump supporters won’t fall in line with the Republicans if the party blocks their guy. I can see them splitting off into their own party as well. We could very well be witnessing the end of the two-party system as we know it. Good riddance…
- Mark Bedford
Microsoft’s newly launched A.I.powered bot called Tay, which was responding to tweets and chats on GroupMe and Kik, has already been shut down due to concerns with its inability to recognize when it was making offensive or racist statements. The bot wasn’t coded to be racist, but it ‘learns’ from those it interacts with. And naturally, given that this is the Internet, one of the first things online users taught Tay was how to be racist. Tay is able to perform a number of tasks, like telling users jokes, or offering comments, but she is also designed to personalize her interactions
with users. As Twitter users quickly came to understand, Tay would often repeat back racist tweets with her own commentary. What was also disturbing about this, is that Tay’s responses were developed by a staff that included improvisational comedians. That means even as she was tweeting out offensive racial slurs, she seemed to do so with abandon and nonchalance. If you ever thought lawyers were full of shit, you were right. 45-yearold Kimberly Kitchen of James Creek, Pennsylvania used forged documents to pretend to be a lawyer for an entire decade. The firm she was working for only dis-
ENIGMA
covered her fraud last year. Kitchen handled estate planning for more than 30 clients ‘despite never having attended law school, nor being admitted to the bar of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania,’ the attorney general said in a statement. She had a forged law license, bar exam results, an email showing she attended Duquesne University law school and a check for a state attorney registration fee. The forgery charge is a first-degree misdemeanor punishable by up to five years in prison; the unauthorized practice charge is a third-degree misdemeanor, carrying up to a year in jail. So how poorly did Ms. Kitchen perform as a lawyer with
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no formal education or training? When she was discovered her firm was about to make her a partner. Last month is was an alligator in Florida. This month it is a python in California. What is it with people and dangerous, exotic animals and restaurants? Authorities said a man had been dining while holding a small snake at Iroha Sushi of Tokyo in Studio City. Witnesses said he became angry and got into an argument after showing the small snake to several customers. He later returned to the restaurant with a 13-foot python, allegedly yelling obscenities, and tossing the python
on the floor. “We asked him like three or four times and he said, ‘no.’ He was like starting fights with the customers so we had to call the police and fire department,” waitress Sissi Dashtort said. Police say the man was arrested and charged with criminal threats. DODGE CENTER, Minn. - Authorities in Minnesota said an 11-year-old boy took a cement mixer truck on a joyride and led police in a chase at speeds of up to 71 mph. The Dodge County Sheriff’s Office, the Minnesota State Patrol, Kasson police and Dodge Center police said the incident began about 3 p.m. when the boy stole the cement truck in Kasson and started driving it around town. Police attempted to stop the truck for speeding, but the boy sped off and led authorities on an hour-long chase reaching speeds of 71 mph. The boy collided with a Minnesota State Patrol car and a Kasson police car during the pursuit, which also saw one of the truck’s tires popped with a spike strip. The young driver continued to flee on the rim of the deflated tire, causing damage to roads and lawns, police said. The truck was stopped in Dodge Center and the boy was taken into custody when he attempted to flee on foot, investigators said. Authorities said no injuries were reported and investigators were still working to determine the extent of the damage caused by the boy. The boy was taken to the Juvenile Detention Center in Rochester and is expected to be formally charged. WAYNE, N.J. - An armored truck in New Jersey dropped a bag full of money on a local highway, stopping traffic as bills were strewn about the road. A bag of cash fell out of a Guarda truck headed west on Route 46 in Wayne, N.J. A passing truck then struck the bag, causing bills to fly into the air. Witness Paul Redman said that the bills were spread all across the roadway as traffic came to a stop. “Take a look up and I see massive amounts of money flying down the highway,” he said. “So I walk out a little further and you can see it’s just $20 bills all over the place.” The driver and several civilians attempted to scoop up the loose bills, but police said only some returned the money. It’s unclear how much money was lost or how the bag fell out of the truck, but Redman said it seemed the truck’s back door flew open.
of larceny after allegedly stealing an ambulance because she wanted a free ride, police in North Carolina said. CharlotteMecklenburg police said that they have arrested 36-year-old Autumn Prieschl, after being accused of driving off with an ambulance belonging to the Carolinas Medical Center. Investigators said that the woman was not high, mentally unstable or ill. She said that all she wanted was a free ride. When people noticed the woman stealing the ambulance, they notified the police. All ambulances are equipped with GPS trackers, so the police knew immediately where the ambulance was located. Seattle police are seeking the public’s help in identifying a suspected serial masturbator who publicly pleasures himself while disguising his identity with a ninja outfit. Cops first learned of the masked pervert in January, after a woman called 911 to report that a man was “masturbating outside the front door of her home.” Cops responding to the scene were unable to locate the suspect. Last month, a night vision camera outside the woman’s residence recorded the suspect again pleasuring himself next to the front door. The surveillance images show him dressed head-to-toe in dark clothing. Residents are University of Washington students who say that they have “heard suspicious sounds outside their house on several occasions,” according to cops. A video has surfaced which appears to show a zoo keeper performing a sex act on a dolphin in the Netherlands. Since the video was released online, furious animal rights campaigners have slammed the Dolphinarium, but investigators say the act isn’t a crime because it was part of a ‘breeding program’. Undercover footage showed a dolphin lying on its back in what appears to be an indoor pool. A male zookeeper leans over the sea mammal and uses his glove hand to perform the sex act before feeding the dolphin a fish. The zoo has claimed the weird act is to “destress” the animals. Officials are refusing to pursue a criminal case. In a statement the prosecutor said: “The sexual act with the dolphin is performed in the context of training the dolphin for the release of sperm as part of a breeding program.” They determined that no laws were broken by the disturbing act.
A woman was arrested on a charge ENIGMA
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Chattanooga’s Most Fun Night Out
CONCERT CALENDAR “Go See Live Music”
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LACHLAN JERRY HARVEY HE BEGAN HIS CAREER PATTERSON IN COMEDY IN 2004
HIS TELEVISION APPEARANCES INCLUDE “THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO,” COMEDY CENTRAL’S “LIVE AT G O T H A M , ” “TOSH.O.,” THE FX COMEDY “LEGIT” AND VH1’S “SEXIEST ARTISTS.” PATTERSON’S DEBUT ALBUM “JOKES TO MAKE LOVE TO” MADE ROOFTOP COMEDY’S TOP 10 ALBUMS IN ITS FIRST YEAR AND CONTINUES TO BE A MAJOR SELLER ON AMAZON AND ITUNES.
APRIL 6-9 WSOC SATELLITE
COMPETITION 4 0 COMEDIANS WILL BE COMPETING TO WIN A WEEK OF WORK AT THE C O M E D Y CATCH AND A SPOT IN THE S E C O N D ROUND OF THE WORLD SERIES OF COMEDY, IN LAS VEGAS, DURING SEPTEMBER. SOME OF CHATTANOOGA REGULARS AND COMICS FROM ACROSS THE COUNTRY WILL BE JUDGED BY THREE INDUSTRY PROFESSIONALS AND YOU THE AUDIENCE.
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GIRL ON GIRL COMEDY
“GIRL ON GIRL COMEDY & REVUE” IS A COMEDY SERIES FEATURING THE BEST REGIONAL FEMALE AND GLBT COMEDIANS AND PERFORMERS. EACH SHOW’S PERFORMERS ARE THE BEST THROUGHOUT THE SOUTHEAST, INCLUDING COMEDIAN, BURLESQUE PERFORMERS, MUSICIANS, AND OTHER SPECIAL GUESTS!
PERFORMING FOR LOCAL FIREFIGHTER AND EMS BENEFITS AND EVENTUALLY HIT THE STAGE IN C H A T T A N O O G A S N U MBER ONE PLACE FOR COMEDY “THE COMEDY CATCH.” JERRY IS THE WINNER OF THE SOUTHEASTERN FUNNIEST PEOPLE SEARCH V 2010 AND COMPETED IN THE WORLD SERIES OF COMEDY IN 2012 MAKING IT TO THE SEMI-FINALS.
APRIL 15-17
THEO VON NETFIX COMEDIAN AND WRITER THEO VON IS THE HOST OF TBS’S HIT WEEKLY HIDDEN CAMERA PRANK SHOW DEAL WITH IT., THEO ALSO HOSTS YAHOO!’S WILDLY POPULAR DAILY RECAP SHOW PRIMETIME IN NO TIME. WS, AND AVERAGES 18 CLICKS PER VISIT. HE WAS VOTED “FAN FAVORITE” AS A SEMI-FINALIST ON LAST COMIC STANDING.
This week’s calendar covers events from Thursday, March 31, through Wednesday, April 6. We would be happy to publish your free listing in future Billboards, space permitting. Simply mail us the information so that we have it 7 days before the publication date. A photograph may be sent with the announcement. Send information to: Calendar Editor, Enigma, P.O. Box 825, Chattanooga, TN 37401 or e-mail to calendar@enigmaonline.com. All dates subject to change without notice.
FRIDAY April 1 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Lachlan Patterson SKYZOO (Chattanooga) DJ Zane RAW (Chattanooga) DJ Barnaby TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Ben Rector REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Unknown Hinson VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) G. Love & Special Sauce EDDIE’S ATTIC (Atlanta) Kris Allen, Steve Wynn, Bark SYMPHONY HALL (Atlanta) America BUCKHEAD THEATRE (Atlanta) Dr. Dog RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Moon Taxi, Coin BRIDGESTONE ARENA (Nashville) Martin Lawrence SATURN (Nashville) Deer Tick, Jeff the Brotherhood
SATURDAY April 2
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MICHAEL MACK MICHAEL MACK BEGAN HIS CAREER IN 1990 AND SINCE THEN HE HAS MADE SCORES OF PEOPLE LAUGH AS HARD AS POSSIBLE. HIS “LAUGH ‘TILL YOU PUKE” STYLE HAS MADE IT ON TO “THE BOB AND TOM SHOW,” “THE JOHN BOY AND BILLY SHOW,” AND ABC’S “AMERICA’S FUNNIEST PEOPLE.”
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GRANDMA LEE
THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Lachlan Patterson SKYZOO (Chattanooga) DJ Zane TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Eli Young Band REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) The Velcro Pygmies J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Jeff The Brotherhood, Mad Libre, Canopy JENNIE ANDERSON THEATRE (Marietta, GA) Vicki Lawrence THE TABERNACLE (Atlanta) Andrew Bird PHILIPS ARENA (Atlanta) Mike Epps CENTER STAGE (Atlanta) Belinda Carlisle VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) Paula Poundstone
SUNDAY April 3
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SPANKY BROWN MAY 1 - PAULY SHORE PARKING AVAILABLE IN THE CHOO CHOO LOT, CARTA GARAGE, OR REPUBLIC PARKING LOTS
1400 MARKET ST. 423.622.2233 WWW.THECOMEDYCATCH.COM ENIGMA
Melvins, Melt Banana
MONDAY April 4 TREMONT TAVERN (Chattanooga) Trivia Night THE OFFICE (Chattanooga) SpeakEasy FOX & HOUND (Chattanooga) DJ Exphacter
TUESDAY April 5 TREMONT TAVERN (Chattanooga) Open Mic w/ Mike McDade REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Uptown Big Band VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) Ace Frehley DRUID CITY MUSIC HALL (Tuscaloosa, AL) Galactic
WEDNESDAY April 6 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) The World Series of Comedy, Satellite Competition RAW (Chattanooga) Open Jam REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Tauk J.J’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Kansas Bible Company VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) Robin Trower THE LYRIC THEATRE (Birmingham) Dr. John
THURSDAY April 7 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) The World Series of Comedy, Satellite Competition SKYZOO (Chattanooga) DJ Zane TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Robin Trower REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Green River Ordinance J.J’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Comedy Buffet: Kenny DeForest THE INTERNATIONAL (Knoxville) Riff Raff THE TABERNACLE (Atlanta) Joel McHale THE LYRIC THEATRE (Birmingham) Drive By Truckers SATURN (Birmingham) Dumpstaphunk
UPCOMING EVENTS THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Lachlan Patterson SKYZOO (Chattanooga) DJ Zane 3RD & LINDSLEY (Nashville) G. Love & Special Sauce CENTER STAGE (Atlanta) Cooder-WhiteSkaggs IRON CITY (Birmingham) Napalm Death,
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THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) The World Series of Comedy, Satellite Competition April 8 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Opposite Box, Bath Salt Zombies April 8 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Rumors April 8
TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Tech N9ne April 8 VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) They Might Be Giants April 8 PHILIPS ARENA (Atlanta) Gabriel Iglesias April 8 COUNTRY TONITE THEATRE (Pigeon Forge, TN) Loretta Lynn April 8 COTTON-EYED JOE’S (Knoxville) Aaron Lewis April 8 THE LYRIC ROOM (Birmingham) Drive-By Truckers April 8 MERCY LOUNGE (Nashville) The Joy Formidable, Everything Everything April 8 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) The World Series of Comedy, Satellite Competition April 9 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) The Wood Brothers April 9 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Crowbar, Hatestomp, Fault Lines, Baphomet April 9 COUNTRY TONITE THEATRE (Pigeon Forge, TN) Loretta Lynn April 9 BIJOU THEATRE (Knoxville) Robin Trower April 9 THE LYRIC ROOM (Birmingham) Drive-By Truckers April 9 GRAND OLE OPRY HOUSE (Nashville) Eric Church April 9 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Girl On Girl Comedy Revue April 10 TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Bra-Vo paril 10 TIVOLI THEATRE (Chattanooga) Buddy Guy April 11 ROCKETOWN (Nashville) Underoath April 11 SCHERMERHORN SYMPHONY CENTER (Nashville) Meat Loaf April 11 INFINITE ENERGY CENTER (Duluth, GA) Mumford & Sons, Blake Mills April 11 VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) Deerhunter April 11 GEORGIA THEATRE (Athens, GA) The Church April 11 PHILIPS ARENA (Atlanta) Justin Bieber April 12 VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) The Cult April 12 INFINTE ENERGY CENTER (Duluth, GA) Mumford & Sons April 12 BRIDGESTONE ARENA (Nashville) Keith Urban, Peter Frampton, Jason Isbell, Florida Georgia Line, Emmylou Harris, Vince Gill, Sam Hunt, Luke Bryan, Maddie & Tae, Maren Morris April 12 MERCY LOUNGE (Nashville) The Church April 12 CITY WINERY NASHVILLE (Nashville) Aaron Neville April 12 TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Riff Raff April 13 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Lucieda April 13 THE PALMS (Chattanooga) Convertibull April 13 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) “Jethro Tull - The Rock Opera” Ian Anderson April 13 CITY WINERY NASHVILLE (Nashville) Jay Farrar April 13 PHILIPS ARENA (Atlanta) Justin Bieber April 13 VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) Elle King April 13 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Jerry Harvey April 14 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Cody Johnson April 14 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Rumpus
Rising: Subterranean Cirquis April 14 THE LYRIC THEATRE (Birmingham) Aaron Neville April 14 DRUID CITY MUSIC HALL (Tuscaloosa, AL) Waka Flocka Flame April 14 12 TH & PORTER (Nashville) Corb Lund April 14 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Theo Von April 15 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Parker Millsap, Courtney Holder April 15 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) One Timers, Mixed Signals, Stoop Kids April 15 POKEY’S (Cleveland, TN) Convertibull April 15 SYMPHONY HALL (Atlanta) Kathy Griffin April 15 PHILIPS ARENA (Atlanta) Duran Duran, Chic featuring Niles Rodgers April 15 THOMPSON BOLING ARENA (Knoxville) Brantley Gilbert April 15 ASCEND AMPHITHEATRE (Nashville) Bryan Adams April 15 BRIDGESTONE ARENA (Nashville) Mumford & Sons, Blake Mills April 15 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Theo Von April 16 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Who’s Bad? April 16 THE CAMP HOUSE (Chattanooga) Scott Miller, Rayna Gellert, Bryn Davies April 16 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Tristen, Blue Healer April 16 VERIZON WIRELESS AMPHITHEATRE AT ENCORE PARK (Alpharetta, GA) Bryan Adams April 16 FOX THEATRE (Atlanta) “Jethro Tull - The Rock Opera” Ian Anderson April 16 FRANKLIN THEATRE (Franklin, TN) Taylor Hicks April 16 RYMAN THEATRE (Nashville) Smashing Pumpkins, Liz Phair April 16 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Theo Von April 17 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Mountain Like Wax, Metanoia, Bougues April 17 VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) Hot Tuna April 17 120 TAVERN (Marietta, GA) Faster Pussycat April 17 THE FOUNDRY (Athens, GA) Rita Wilson April 17 SCHERMERHORN SYMPHONY CENTER (Nashville) Three Dog Night April 17 IRON CITY (Birmingham) Scotty McCreery April 17 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Audacity, Raiders LA April 18 SCHERMERHORN SYMPHONY CENTER (Nashville) Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo April 18 THE BASEMENT EAST (Nashville) Faster Pussycat April 18 TIVOLI THEATRE (Chattanooga) Ben Harper April 19 CITY WINERY NASHVILLE (Nashville) Rita Wilson April 19 MARATHON MUSIC WORKS (Nashville) Robyn Hitchcock, Eugene Mirman April 19 OAK MOUNTAIN AMPHITHEATRE (Pelham, AL) Jimmy Buffett April 19 MEMORIAL AUDITORIUM (Chattanooga) Widespread Panic April 20 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) The Oh Hellos April 20
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HONEST PINT (Chattanooga) WSP after party with CBDB April 20 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Open Mic Comedy: Iscariots, Widespread Panic AFTERPARTY April 20 TENNESSEE THEATRE (Knoxville) Ben Harper April 20 VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) Robyn Hitchcock, Eugene Meiman April 20 CITY WINERY NASHVILLE (Nashville) Hot Tuna April 20 SATURN (Birmingham) Elle King April 20 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Michael Mack April 21 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) The Cleverlys April 21 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Twirly Whirly Burly-Q April 21 ASCEND AMPHITHEATRE (Nashville) Alabama Shakes, Dylan LeBlanc April 21 IRON CITY (Birmingham) Sister Hazel April 21 THE LYRIC THEATRE (Birmingham) Taj Mahal April 21 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Michael Mack April 22 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Drivin’ N’ Cryin’ April 22 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) The Dead Deads April 22 BJCC CONCERT HALL (Birmingham) Boyz II Men April 22 IRON CITY (Birmingham) The Molly Ringwalds April 22 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Ben Harper April 22 MARATHON MUSIC WORKS (Nashville)
Santigold April 22 THE TABERNACLE (Atlanta) Reno Collective April 22 VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) Sister Hazel April 22 CENTENNIAL OLYMPIC PARK (Atlanta) “Sweetwater 420 Fest” Kid Rock, Disco Biscuits, Pepper, Cypress Hill, Paper Diamond, Zoogma, Illenium, Lucero, Hi Lo Ha, Big Sam’s Funky Nation, Lucidea, Joe Pettis April 22 CENTER STAGE (Atlanta) Esperanza Spalding April 22 GEORGIA THEATRE (Athens, GA) Old Crow Medicine Show April 22 BIJOU THEATRE (Knoxville) Dawes, Hiss Golden Messenger April 22 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Michael Mack April 23 MCKENZIE ARENA (Chattanooga) James Taylor April 23 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) SOCRO April 23 THE TABERNACLE (Atlanta) Underoath April 23 CENTENNIAL OLYMPIC PARK (Atlanta) “Sweetwater 420 Fest” Bastille, Awolnation, Minnesota, Roots, Rebelution, The Word, Jacklndn, Dawes, Dabin, Daily Bread, Maceo Parker, Tokyo Police Club, Chrome Pony, North Mississippi Allstars, Robert Randolph & The Family Band, Judah Friedlander, Ripe, Funk You, The Quaildogs, April 23 VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) Leftover Salmon April 23 GEORGIA THEATRE (Athens, GA) Old Crow
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Medicine Show April 23 LEGACY ARENA (Birmingham) Widespread Panic, Tedeschi Trucks Band April 23 3RD & LINDSLEY (Nashville) Mike Farris April 23 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Michael Mack April 24 HONEST PINT (Chattanooga) Molly Maguires April 24 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Withered April 24 VERIZON WIRELESS AMPHITHEATRE AT ENCORE PARK (Alpharetta, GA) Van Morrison April 24 FOX THEATRE (Atlanta) Steve Martin, Martin Short, Steep Canyon Rangers April 24 CENTENNIAL OLYMPIC PARK (Atlanta) “Sweetwater 420 Fest” Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals, Ludacris, Robert DeLong, Emancipator, Nahko And Medicine For The People, Michael Franti & Spearhead, Atmosphere, Son Of Kick, The Bright Light Social Hour, Manchester Orchestra, Leftover Salmon, The Mantras, People’s Blues Of Richmond, Duelle, Higher Learning, Judah Friedlander, Wrenn, Voodoo Visionary Band April 24 THE TABERNACLE (Atlanta) Bush April 24 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Ben Folds, Ymusic April 24 LEGACY ARENA (Birmingham) Steely Dan April 24 TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Alabama Shakes, Dylan LeBlanc April 25 TENNESSEE THEATRE (Knoxville)
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Widespread Panic April 25 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Boz Scaggs April 25 CITY WINERY NASHVILLE (Nashville) Peter Murphy April 25 THE TABERNACLE (Atlanta) NOFX April 25 SMITH’S OLDE BAR (Atlanta) Butch Trucks April 25 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Escape the Fate April 26 TENNESSEE THEATRE (Knoxville) Widespread Panic April 26 WORKPLAY THEATRE (Birmingham) Sick Puppies, Red Sun Rising, Up Heart, Smashing Satellites, April 26 CANNERY BALLROOM (Nashville) Guided By Voices April 26 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Grandma Lee April 27 TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Breaking Benjamin April 27 10 HIGH (Atlanta) L.A. Guns’ Tracii Guns April 27 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Spanky Brown April 28 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Pigeons Playing Ping Pong April 28 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Spanky Brown April 29 TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Cypress Hill April 29 TERMINAL WEST (Atlanta) Polica April 29 CENTER STAGE (Atlanta) Sevendust, Trivium, Like A Storm April 29 EDDIE’S ATTIC (Atlanta) Glen Phillips April 29 40 WATT CLUB (Athens, GA) Sebastian Bach
April 29 TENNESSEE THEATRE (Knoxville) John Prine April 29 WORLD’S FAIR PARK (Knoxville) Portugal the Man, Raury, Niykee Heaton, Moon Taxi, Royal Bangs April 29 ALABAMA THEATRE (Birmingham) Modest Mouse April 29 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Spanky Brown April 30 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Rubik’s Groove April 30 ADVENTURES UNLIMITED (Ocoee, TN) Ramble in the Attic April 30 COBB ENERGY PERFORMING ARTS CENTER (Atlanta) Tracy Morgan April 30 THE MASQUERADE (Atlanta) Texas Hippie Coalition, Sons of Texas April 30 MERCY LOUNGE (Nashville) Polica April 30 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Cedric the Entertainer April 30 THE COMEDY CATCH (Chattanooga) Pauly Shore May 1 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Peelander Z, Ghenki Ghenki Panic May 1 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Kiefer Sutherland May 1 HELL AT THE MASQUERADE (Atlanta) Filter, Orgy, Vampires Everywhere!, Death Valley High May 1 GEORGIA DOME (Atlanta) Beyonce May 1 VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) The Residents May 1 THE INTERNATIONAL (Knoxville) Lupe Fiasco May 1 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Eyehategod, Red Necklace, Koza May 2 IRON CITY (Birmingham) Ghost May 2 ANDREW JACKSON HALL (Nashville) Alice Cooper May 2 MERCY LOUNGE (Nashville) Brian Jonestown Massacre May 2 GEORGIA THEATRE (Athens, GA) Scott Stapp May 2 TIVOLI THEATRE (Chattanooga) ZZ Top May 3 THE CAMP HOUSE (Chattanooga) Noah Gundersen May 3 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Bonnie Raitt, The California Honeydrops May 3 MERCY LOUNGE (Nashville) Tokyo Police Club May 3 MARATHON MUSIC WORKS (Nashville) Ghost May 3 THE INTERNATIONAL (Knoxville) Texas Hippie Coalition, Sons of Texas May 3 FOX THEATRE (Atlanta) Paul Simon May 3 THE TABERNACLE (Atlanta) Bullet for My Valentine, Asking Alexandria, Cane Hill May 3 MEMORIAL AUDITORIUM (Chattanooga) Old Crow Medicine Show, Brandi Carlile May 4 TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Floetry May 4 REVELRY ROOM (Chattanooga) Sick Puppies, Red Sun Rising, Stitched Up Heart, Hudson May 4 EDDIE’S ATTIC (Atlanta) Mother’s Finest May 4 HEAVEN AT THE MASQUERADE (Atlanta) Queensryche May 4 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Bonnie Raitt, The California Honeydrops May 4 TENNESSEE THEATRE (Knoxville) Ghost May 4
OAK MOUNTAIN AMPHITHEATRE (Pelham, AL) Disturbed, Rob Zombie, Pop Evil May 4 BJCC CONCERT HALL (Birmingham) Paul Simon May 4 TUSCALOOSA AMPHITHEATRE (Tuscaloosa, AL) The Avett Brothers, Brandi Carlile May 5 NISSAN STADIUM (Nashville) Beyonce May 5 12 TH & PORTER (Nashville) Candlebox, Pete RG May 5 CANNERY BALLROOM (Nashville) Heartless Bastards, Old 97s, B.J. Barham May 5 THE INTERNATIONAL (Knoxville) Filter, Orgy, Vampires Everywhere!, Death Valley High May 5 TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Bullet For My Valentine, Asking Alexandria, Hill May 6 AARON’S AMPHITHEATRE (Atlanta) Disturbed, Rob Zombie, Pop Evil May 6 CHASTAIN PARK (Atlanta) Lauryn Hill May 6 CITY WINERY NASHVILLE (Nashville) Emmylou Harris May 6 SATURN (Birmingham) Heartless Bastards, Old 97s May 6 THE BUCKHEAD THEATRE (Atlanta) Animal Collective, Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith May 7 HEAVEN AT THE MASQUERADE (Atlanta) Blue October May 7 FOX THEATRE (Atlanta) Floetry, Mint Condition May 7 AARON’S AMPHITHEATRE (Atlanta) Gregg Allman, ZZ Top, Blackberry Smoke, Michelle Malone, Jaimoe’s Jasssz Band, Kevn Kinney, Gabriel Kelley May 7 CHASTAIN PARK (Atlanta) Scorpions, Living Colour May 7 VERIZON WIRELESS AMPHITHEATRE AT ENCORE PARK (Alpharetta, GA) The Avett Brothers, Brett Dennen May 7 BOWMAN HOUSE (Lawrenceville, GA) The Posies May 7 GEORGIA THEATRE (Athens, GA) Filter, Orgy, Vampires Everywhere!, Death Valley High May 7 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Garrison Keillor May 7 THE INTERNATIONAL (Knoxville) Cyprus Hill May 7 HONEST PINT (Chattanooga) Moira, Chilhowee Royal, Mother Nurture May 8 EXIT/IN (Nashville) Filter, Orgy, Vampires Everywhere!, Death Valley High May 8 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Lucinda Williams May 8 EDDIE’S ATTIC (Atlanta) The Secret Sisters May 8 GRAND OLE OPRY HOUSE (Nashville) Scorpions May 9 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Cyndi Lauper May 9 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Deftones, Code Orange May 11 MERCY LOUNGE (Nashville) Sebastian Bach May 11 WORKPLAY THEATRE (Birmingham) Jay Farrar May 11 TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Ghost May 12 HELL AT THE MASQUERADE (Atlanta) Saving Abel May 12 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Dreamers, The Young Wild May 13 CENTENNTIAL OLYMPIC PARK (Atlanta) “Shaky Knees Music Festival” Jane’s Addiction, 1975, The Kills, Bloc Party, Cold War Kids, Slowdive, Ghost, Savages, Against
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Me!, The Struts (UK), Crystal Fighters, The Sword, Baroness, The Front Bottoms, Brian Fallon, Wolf Alice, Craig Finn, Kaleo, Beach Slang, Foxing, Saintseneca, David Ramirez, Matt Vasquez, All Them Witches, July Talk, The Japanese House May 13 VARIETY PLAYHOUSE (Atlanta) RuPaul’s Drag Race” May 13 CITY WINERY NASHVILLE (Nashville) Emmylou Harris May 13 CENTENNTIAL OLYMPIC PARK (Atlanta) “Shaky Knees Music Festival” My Morning Jacket, Walk The Moon, The Decemberists, Lewis And The News, Silversun Pickups, Phosphorescent, Shakey Graves, Deer Tick, J.J. Grey & Mofro, The Vaccines, Wild Nothing, Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors, The Dear Hunter, Hop Along, Lany, Speedy Ortiz, Strand Of Oaks, Little, Day Wave, Barns Courtney, The Hip Abduction, Polyenso, Twin Limb, May 14 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Paul Simon May 14 HARRAH’S CHEROKEE CASINO (Cherokee) Hailstorm, Lacuna Coil, Oliver May 14 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) VERIZON WIRELESS AMPHITHEATRE AT ENCORE PARK (Alpharetta, GA) Styx, .38 Special, Don Felder May 15 CENTENNTIAL OLYMPIC PARK (Atlanta) “Shaky Knees Music Festival” Florence + The Machine, At The Drive-In, Deftones, Explosions In The Sky, Young The Giant, The Head And The Heart, Atlas Genius, St. Paul And The Broken Bones, Eagles Of Death Metal, Houndmouth, The Black Angels, Frightened Rabbit, Mortal
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Orchestra, Parquet Courts, The Orwells, Murder By Death, Noah Gundersen, Nothing, Coin, Ought, Julien Baker, Caveman. Diet Cig, The Shelters, Adia Victoria May 15 GRAND OLE OPRY HOUSE (Nashville) Chris Isaak May 15 RYMAN AUDITORIUM (Nashville) Paul Simon May 15 CITY WINERY ATLANTA (Atlanta) Cracker May 16 J.J.’S BOHEMIA (Chattanooga) Comedy Buffet: Dave Ross May 7 SCHERMERHORN SYMPHONY CENTER (Nashville) Paul Anka May 17 MARATHON MUSIC WORKS (Nashville) At The Drive-In May 17 HELL AT THE MASQUERADE (Atlanta) Insane Clown Posse May 17 TRACK 29 (Chattanooga) Shinedown, Monsters Truck May 18 TIVOLI THEATRE (Chattanooga) Sturgill Simpson May 18 LEGACY ARENA (Birmingham) Janet Jackson May 19 ZANIE’S (Nashville) “Jay And Silent Bob Get Old” May 19 ASCEND AMPHITHEATRE (Nashville) Cage the Elephant, Portugal the Man, Bronco May 19 AARON’S AMPHITHEATRE (Atlanta) Daryl Hall and John Oates May 19 CENTENNIAL OLYMPIC PARK (Atlanta) “Shaky Beats” May 20 CHASTAIN PARK (Atlanta) Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson May 20
Located inside the Read House Broad Street at MLK Blvd. Downtown
Careful What You Put In Your Mouth Are you careful what you put in Would you buy a food product your mouth to eat? Really… do grown and prepared in that country? You may say you you check? wouldn’t – well, neither would I. Would you eat something made in a country (a third world coun- On a recent visit to the Dollar try) where they let cow run free Tree stores in our area and in
pickle products were made in Dollar Tree warehouses, Bangledesh and or India. reshipped to stores and stocked on shelves. The star has has to Now let’s examine this for a pay rent, employees, electricity, minute. etc. These items were in glass jars with metal caps and printed labels. The glass jar had to cost around 15 cents empty; the metal cap around ten cents and the label around two cents. So they had around 25 cents in the empty package (give or take a penny).
The product retails for $1.00. My question will all these costs and necessary markups, are they taking reasonable care to follow up on the manufacturer to see: 1) is this facility clean; 2) are all the ingredients safe; 3) has it passed necessary health inspections; and n they do this in their meaDollar Tree has to operate on 30- ger margin? 50 percent markup at a minimum. So if they have to make Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? their margin they need to get this And I know I don’t want to take a product on their shelf for 40 to chance on a cheap bottle of food 60 cents. If they buy the product from a not so sure if it’s clean is 50 cents that gives the manu- source and put it in my mouth. facturer a 12 to 15 cent profit. Really? Made in India? Ugh. Now, they have to ship the product to the U.S. (from India, etc.) - Paul E. Burke Sr. It then has to be shipped to
in the street and their homes and Daytona Beach ZI drifted over to the food isle. I saw this very shops? large glass jar of huge pickles. I Where sacred monkeys are more mean it was a huge jar. important than people, where trash and refuse is a commodity How can they sell that for a dolthat supports vast numbers of lar I thought (everything in the people that pick this by hand to store is supposed to be a dollar). get money to live on. I picked the jar and turned the How about a country that doesn’t label around to read it. have clean, safe drinking water Was I shocked. This and other nationwide? ENIGMA
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International Crime Fighting Or: How I Solved One Case In Israel Anyway
Several years ago I went on a Biblical history trip to Israel. Our guides were biblical history professors at the University of Jerusalem. On the first day we were given a basic security briefing that covered the standard stay with the group, don’t go into places not recommended by your guide, report suspicious bags or packages etc. Incidents of terrorism were down in Israel at the time and we were told we were much more likely to be a victim of some type of property crime. A senior guide admonished us to carefully watch our belongings as pocket-picking, purse thefts, passport thefts etc. were very common and Americans were
favored targets. I didn’t real- city. We were told to remain ize how prophetic our guide’s vigilant primarily where our warning would turn out to be. personal belongings were concerned but also to attempt
We had been warned that to be especially calm and things were a little different polite if we had any “difficulin the Arab Quarter of the ties” while in this area. Unknown to me at the time this turned out to be good advice. A day or so later our group was leisurely on a walking tour of the City of Jerusalem. We had stopped at an open-air cafe / market to get some cold drinks. After we left the market and went around a couple of corners and down a hill one of our group announced he couldn’t find his wallet. The group stopped while he checked all his pockets and then announced his wallet was definitely gone. I immediately switched from tourist mode into Cop /Detective mode. At that time I was a Police Detective. I asked where he had last seen/had it. He stated at the cafe we had stopped. I took off and pretty ENIGMA
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much ran all the way back to the possible crime scene. I instinctively knew any evidence, culprits and witnesses can disappear fast after a crime. As I looked into the front of the open front of the business I observed four Arabic males at a rear table appearing to be counting something. I felt I had my suspects. One or two of them had looked up nervously when I walked in. I didn’t hesitate but went quickly to their table and looked around and under the table. I did not see the wallet or any cash or documents. One of the table occupants asked me what I was looking for. I felt he knew exactly what I was looking for but I politely told him I was with a tourist group and that one of our group had “lost” his wallet. I explained that he had last seen it here at the store. Even though the “victim” in this incident had bought his soda at the front of the business no one questioned why I was looking around the rear of the store. About this time several of my tour group had returned to the store. The most important one being Jonathan, our tour leader, who spoke fluent Arabic. As my suspects had gone into the “we don’t speak English well” mode I had Jonathan inquire if anyone had seen the wallet adding that perhaps the wallet had been accidentally
left. I was positive these guys had the wallet but I was in a foreign country with no police authority and in a section of the city where we had been admonished to be especially diplomatic and I was interviewing/ negotiating through a translator. My suspects of course at first denied knowing anything about the wallet. They didn’t know they were dealing with an American police detective who wouldn’t give up as easily as the average tourist. I had an “ace up my sleeve”. I knew the people in the Arab quarter did not like attention from the Israeli authorities. I had Jonathan relate to one of the suspects that we would summon one of the roaming Israeli Army patrols to come assist us. One of these patrols had just walked by. Jonathan quietly asked me if I was really going to do this. I told him yes that I would stand by while he went to look for a patrol. Jonathan had only walked a short distance when the spokesman called him back. The spokesman related that “the boy” had perhaps found the wallet . We never determined who “the boy” was. I do not think there was any boy involved. As a CNN crew had just walked past I was very aware of our precarious position. I just wanted to get the wallet back not start an international incident. The spokesman for the suspect group stated that he might be able to “find” the wallet.
and disappeared around a corner. I had a feeling we might never see him again but he quickly reappeared with the missing wallet. Ah success! However, when our victim looked in his wallet he quickly told me that his credit cards were gone. I had Jonathan ask the spokesman if perhaps the credit cards could be found. He said it might be possible and that he would “go look” for the cards. He went around the corner and soon brought back several credit cards. Our victim told me he believed that was all his credit cards but now informed me he was missing some cash. I’m sure I rolled my eyes. I didn’t understand why he didn’t tell me that before!
short some cash. I was incredulous. We were in a foreign country in an almost foreign section of the city where only one of us spoke Arabic , vastly outnumbered and basically running a bluff. Now this guy wanted to quibble over some twenties? Not on my watch. I made the decision to make a hasty retreat. As Kenny Rogers once sang’ you gotta know when to fold’em.” “Never count your money at the table” or in the Arab Quarter I say. Our group made it safely out of the Arab quarter but not before “Walter” the victim complained about losing some of his money. Seriously Walter? I had gotten his wallet with all his personal effects and pictures, credit cards and most of his cash back. Walter
I told Jonathan to ask the suspect to look and see if he could find any cash. I was getting a little nervous at this point. I felt like we were starting to push our luck. The spokesman produced some folded twenties. He asked if this was the money. The victim took the money and said yes and the suspect quickly grabbed the bills and replaced them in his pocket. Our suspect didn’t seem to want to surrender the cash so easily. There now appeared to be more Arab parties in the store and more were starting to gather around us. I had Jonathan tell the suspect that perhaps he could have some of the cash as a reward. Our new Arab friend peeled off a couple of twenties and handed the remainder to the victim.
The owner of the wallet/vicThe spokesman told us to wait tim then told me he was still ENIGMA
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never bothered to thank me. Hey, he couldn’t say there’s never a cop around when you need one. I realized policing had similarities wherever you were. Follow your instincts, be persistent and know when to be diplomatic. It never hurts to have the Israeli Army as a bargaining tool either. This was just one of my outof-my-jurisdiction adventures. I hope to relate more in the future. Shout out to Chip Griffin. Thanks for keeping ‘em running and getting Rocco’s bike going.
- Mark Haskins
Yours to Lose As a proud member of the Republican Party all I can do is shake my head is disbelief. It is painful to watch my party of choice since childhood to act as it they themselves have reverted back to their childhood. All things said and argued, the 2016 presidential election should have been a cakewalk for whomever wins the nomination. But alas there are chinks in the armor. Major ones.
down to three after Dr. Ben Carson and Marco Rubio stepped away a few weeks ago. First off; why so many damn debates? It is almost a disaster to have so
The seven-plus years of Obama in office have been an unmitigated disaster. Pundits and others will try to spin it but all that spinning will only get them even many debates. The more a dizzier than they already appear. politician talks the further they get that proverbial foot lodged in Instead of seizing the moment their mouth. In this day and age the Republicans are letting sure with the world literally at my finvictory slip through their hands gertips I can find about all the like Tony Romo holding for a candidates and their agenda field goal. There have been 12 without having to listen (not that debates between the candidates I’m really listening) to them beginning with the original 17 debate. The only thing the candidates that has now whittled debate does is let me see how
they interact to opposition, how they interact with others and also how well they do in the public spotlight. Sure, it’s easy to sit behind a desk or in a meeting in
the hallowed halls of local, state and federal government but tis is completely different. Reagan was a master. Obama cocky. George W. Bush awkward at best. The things I’ve learned from the debates are simple. Trump comes across as a bully at times, but usually to defend himself form the barrage of insults. Rubio came across as a spoiled rich kid and loose cannon who hasn’t had his nap yet slinging inappropriate bathroom humor jokes best left for there and not a public arena and Cruz trying to act as if he’s the chosen one and is mad that we don’t realize that. And John Kasich… who is he again? I don’t know who I am going to vote for but I know it will be whomever my party elects to run. I actually sat out he 2012 election because I thought Romney for lack of a better word – sucked. And there is no way on God’s green earth I would have ever voted for Barack
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Obama. No, I’m not racist. I am a true Republican. I’ve actually had a Ben Carson bumper sticker on my car since they first became available – so there. I never saw Romney as a true Republican and he proved so by intentionally trying to derail Republican frontrunner Donald Trump with his “major announcement” which basically slammed “The Donald”. If no one listened to you in 2012 Mitt, why would or should we start now? Trump is arrogant, boorish and borderline over the top obnoxious. But you know what? He talks about issues that I care about such as our immigration and so on and so forth. And unlike his fellow Republican candidates he hasn’t waffled on his stance just to make peace or keep status quo – or for that matter to still considered “cool” by his colleagues and the media. Having been in the media for half of my life on the planet I was taught something early on. The best way to defeat someone is to ignore them. The person that taught me that told me the only bad publicity was no publicity. “Make sure you spell my name right”. Instead of getting into pissing contests with the people I had written something unflattering about I ignored them. They would pick up my newspaper on a regular basis week after week scouring the pages looking for something I had written about them. After a while they realized they were getting no ink. I was not the end all be all of anything press related but once their soundboard for anything they were doing
they no longer seemed to exist. If I didn’t mention them any longer then my readers no longer knew of them. It was a winner. Eventually one by one those I ignored started to play nice. I played my bully pulpit to perfection – and still do. If they didn’t come back, quite frankly I didn’t care but neither did anyone else. The same goes for Trump. 2016 wasn’t the first time Trump ran for president – or threatened to run. However in the past the media as well as the two political parties ignored him. And guess what happened? He went away.
Trump was an idiot and bad for America. Really? Fox is the former president of the country whose own people are fleeing at a record place for the United States. This is the 21st century Mr. Fox. How come I can’t safely drink the water in your country? You sir, are the one out of touch with reality.
It is easy for Trump to selffinance his presidential bid. It’s not because he is a billionaire, it’s because he gets all the free advertising he needs from news outlets, political commentators online, in broadcast, on radio and in print that use their bully Not so in 2016. Donald Trump pulpit to denounce him. Like I has been attacked from three was told; make sure you spell his different sides – well maybe name right. four. After announcing his run earlier in 2015 he of course was However in recent weeks Trump attacked by the Democrats. That has come close to putting his was to be expected, but then the foot mouth as he and Cruz conRepublicans, his party of choice tinue to bicker and argue like these days piled on and continue eight graders fighting over a to do so. The attacks from his cheerleader and not looking at party of choice aren’t even civil the actual prize – the White any more. Like I said, Marco House. The only good thing I can Rubio came across as immature. say about the Democratic party – Rubio has only proven in this and I shudder to think I am sayelection that he is not mature ing anything complimentary is enough to run this country. In a that the two candidates – Hillary few years he will, as I think he Clinton and Bernie Sanders have has great promise but not this been debating issues and putting time. Then there are the media down their Republican rivals. attacks – not only CNN but Fox News who despite being “fair These two candidates are the and balanced” having always worst two people the Democratic handled the Republican party party could run with Clinton’s with kid gloves has been unmer- personal life and political life ciful in their treatment of being a fiasco as she is facing Trump. I remember when news indictments over her private outlets reported the news email server when she was instead of being the news, but oh Secretary of State as well as a well. And the last front is other shopping list of scandals that former foreign leaders like began during the Watergate era. Vincente Fox the former And Sanders… is more a bad President of Mexico. Fox blasted character from an episode of Trump over the candidate’s “Seinfeld” that a true political building of a border wall and candidate. The party should run how he was going to get Mexico Cosmo Kramer for president to pay for it. Fox slammed that instead of those two clowns. idea and went on a diatribe how Wait… they can’t. I forgot about ENIGMA
Chattanooga is home of the actions that generated the first Medals of Honor to six of Andrew's Raiders. The museum traces the “Paths of Valor” from the Civil War through the War on Terror. Discover the stories of nearly 3,500 recipients of our Nation's highest award for Valor.
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his racist outburst at one of his shows a few years ago – whether justified or not. Let’s face it, Sanders is an old school communist sympathizer and Clinton despite her lofty posts as a senator and Secretary of State is a relative newcomer to politics only running for public office after her husband’s two terms in the White House. And she wants to run this country yet can’t keep her husband from chasing skirts and then has the audacity to berate these women yet consider herself a champion for women’s rights. Her only selling point is she has a vagina and “it’s about time we had a female president”. Gee, that’s the same mindset that got Obama elected pretty much because of the color of his skin and you can see what has happened since – tangoing with the communists in Cuba and Argentina while the rest of the world burns. Ironically the Republicans have become new era Democrats. They are no longer the party of Reagan, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt. Notice I omitted the Bush family – with reason. Sure, the Republcians have always been for business however they wanted government to butt out and encouraged competition instead of monopolies. If the RNC or the “establishment” Republicans steal this nomination away from Trump it will officially end the party as we knew and loved it. Trump is flawed, sure. I don’t see a choirboy or girl running. What happened when the biggest scandal during the 1980 election was that Reagan would be the first president who had divorced (Jane Wyman), or when Kennedy ran, the first Catholic to hold the top office?
own nose to spit itself even though they were initially handed this election on a silver platter. Reality is this: there is no longer a true Republican or
Democratic party. They are all establishment pawns that twist in the wind whichever way the wind blows as long as they can receive perks, favors, money and blow enough smoke to stay elected despite not doing a damn thing to help this country and their people. It’s self-survival, be damned what the rest of the country wants.
The Dems try to pacify the rank and file by attacking the rich and offering to give them everything if they keep them in office. Of course the morons that vote for them don’t realize no one in office is a pauper – even Sanders who has been in public office and has nothing to show for it other than a nice pension when he finally and thankfully leaves office. The GOP does nothing to help themselves. They are too busy infighting and worried about being popular with the wrong people. And that is why I started to lean towards Trump because he is his own person and with no filter says what is on his mind without worrying about repercussions. While some are Unfortunately my party of choice upset about it, I find it actually continues to choose to cut off its refreshing. Besides as president ENIGMA
it would be a step down in salary. Let that one soak in. Unlike all the other career politicians who have been running he has nothing to gain financially
do on his own without the aid of the federal government.
My advice to the Republicans is get your act together before you screw up a sure thing if you haven’t already. The fact you originally had 17 well-qualified candidates when this thing started about a year ago only proves how well the party has progressed from the days they were called the “party of old white men”. And the fact the “progressive Democrats barely have anyone to put in the race once again. Obama was a long shot originally in 2008 that surprised the DNC. And my advice for the Democrats is to burn in hell where you belong. You are a from being elected into the Oval fraud. Office except a killer pension and perks that come with the - Wm. Alexander job. However, this is stuff he can
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Locked & Loaded
Today’s Gun Culture Extends Far Beyond Just Men To the naked eye Trista Plantholt only purchased their gun since end to get my permit,” Plantholt said. On July 16 of 2015 Kuwaitiis your normal, everyday, married, 2010. born Mohammod Youssuf mother of two. Soft-spoken and petite in frame, she exudes southern charm. However, she has a little secret she’s keeping. She’s locked and loaded. Plantholt is part of a trend that has been growing for many years, that trend is to obtain a handgun carry permit. A study conducted two years ago discovered there is a large upsurge in women getting their carry permit and purchasing a firearm. With what appears to be an emergent gun culture and unlike other stereotypes, a survey found that over 40 percent of women who own guns, own more than one. While a number of those responding to the survey have owned a firearm for more than ten “After the July shooting in Abdulazeez opened fire on two milyears, a little over 32 percent have Chattanooga, I decided that week- itary recruiting centers in Chattanooga killing four Marines, one sailor and injuring two others. Initially, Plantholt was intimidated by it all. “I had never shot a gun,” she recalls. While she had physically held one, she did not feel comfortable with the thoughts of actually firing one. Her husband who already had his permit encouraged her to get hers. “I
thought if I didn’t have experience in shooting, how could I possibly get a permit?” Plantholt’s fears were quickly put to rest by Tammy Brannon coowner of ZIRKOPS TRAINING (ZIRKOPS.com), a firearm and selfdefense facility located on Highway 58 in Chattanooga. Brannon says, “A lot of people are scared to handle a gun because they are afraid that if they drop the gun or maybe if they handle it incorrectly, it will accidently fire.” She went on to say, “This is where training is crucial to the ownership and operation on any gun or weapons system, training is the key”. Some guns of poor quality or with damaged components may be more prone to drop fire conditions but the real culprit, of accidental firing, comes from “finger on the trigger”. With training, new gun owners can master the basic safety rules rendering the carry of a handgun not only safe but practical. Many that are new to the idea of gun ownership just aren’t aware of the safety rules for safe operation. “The huge thing for women in particular is learning the ins and outs – actually having their hands
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on the gun itself.” “The instructors at ZIRKOPS made it very easy for me,” remembers Plantholt, who suffers from arthritis and fibromyalgia in her hands. They were able to find a gun that she was able to use and before she knew it, she was comfortable firing her weapon. “When it came time to shoot, it was comfortable and fun! “I got a 100, on my test even though I had never shot a gun before.” “I couldn’t believe how well I had shot.” Said Plantholt The permit class taught by Brannon and Officer Ron Zirk (co-owner) is very detailed on the laws that apply to the use of force, all the ins and outs of gun ownership and safe firearms handling. When students enter the class “A lot of them are nervous, and we specialize in making this nervousness go away” Brannon says. “The laws as they apply to the permit can be intimidating. When do I use my gun? What force is reasonable and necessary? What will happen if I am forced to use my weapon to protect myself or others? The reality is most students in the permit class
are not so much afraid for their personal safety but, the safety of their friends and family” The most common statement by women in the class, “I am afraid for my kids” Brannon says.
Brannon teaches a variety of women’s specialty classes. Many of those programs include teen and youth classes dedicated to firearms safety. She instructs private handgun shooting lessons on a daily basis for all ages and skill levels. Women who sign up for these courses are relieved by the way ZIRKOPS TRAINING techniques are
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customized for the way women think and handle firearms. “I have a lot of women request a female instructor” she says. It’s not because men don’t know what they’re doing Brannon says, it’s because some women may be a lit-
tle intimidated or may not be able to relate to a male instructor. Firearms training is a male dominated area of instruction says Brannon but, that is quickly becoming a thing of the past. “We talk girl talk, address issues and concepts from a woman’s viewpoint. Some concepts are definitely from a different approach.
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When was the last time your male counterpart drew a concealed handgun from his bra. WOMEN ONLY classes foster a group learning environment FWBW. For women by women to carry guns and put rounds on target says Brannon. There is more to it than just learning how to shoot the gun. Women are instructed in the responsibility of ownership and operation. “So many women are actually scared to put a weapon on their body,” says Brannon. The women’s handgun/holster class offered at ZIRKOPS TRAINING has a basic handgun safety portion that outlines rules and regulation for safe operation of the weapons used in the class. The class then focuses on the guns themselves. ZIRKOPS provides a variety of different weapons which vary in calibers, sizes and shapes for the ladies to try. If you have the gun, you need something to carry it in and that would be a holster. ZIRKOPS also provides a variety of different holsters to try. Each holster is designed to safely and stylishly hide the weapon on their body.
This helps ladies discover they can actually hide a handgun comfortably on their body while feeling confident and secure in their abilities to manipulate their personal weapon.” “I wasn’t sure what kind of gun I wanted,” recalls Plantholt. She knew she wanted a gun she could safely rack or manipulate the slide with her physical condition, and through taking ZIRKOPS’ classes she was able to pick out a handgun and holster that she liked and was comfortable with.
they should find the smallest 9mm or 380 they can fit on their body. “Most women carry a small 9[mm] or .380 because we can fit those frames on our body and our purses – or wherever we need them. But if they can afford only one I recommend a small 9mm.” As for men reading this article, Brannon said men should not pick the gun out, she did not say they should not buy the gun. That’s what boys are for buying the gun. Ha Ha Ha.
Before taking her first class, Plantholt had never shot a gun before. Instead of fear, a feeling of excitement and exhilaration was her reaction the first time she pulled the trigger. “There was no apprehension whatsoever because they had trained me so well before I actually held a gun and I felt very confident.” Once the women get their certification they are advised to carry their weapons at all times. Besides knowing how to operate a firearm, a woman’s mindset is different as it takes away their fears. “It enables them,” says Brannon. “It gives them a lot of courage knowing they can carry their gun with them and be comfortable using it.” “I wasn’t sure what kind of gun I wanted,” recalls Plantholt. “I Brannon advises men if they want wanted a semi-automatic which their wife or girlfriend to shoot or was a problem because I needed a actually carry their weapon with gun I could rack. She attended them, then do not pick the gun for Brannon’s holster class and while them. “She has to feel it, she’s got there, she was able to shoot a varito handle it and bond with it,” she ety of guns of different sizes, styles says. Brannon also advises women and calibers. “That gave me the if they can only afford one weapon idea that I wanted to shoot and
carry a Colt.
believes everyone should be comfortable with a gun, holding it, able to shoot it and just have the knowledge of how to properly handle a gun. “I think it’s important, so yes, I encourage people.”
Proper gun handling and education is a family affair for Plantholt. Her son was already a shooter when she started the classes. And while her daughter wasn’t at the time, both encouraged her. “They love Plantholt encourages ladies to take that I can shoot and carry and were the Diva class. “All three were all for it.” great,” she recalls. And this comes from someone who is not conPlantholt’s daughter joined her frontational. “I don’t desire to mother in taking the gun classes fight anyone for any reason.” and then the pair participated in Admittedly the mother of two teenagers was a little freaked out and somewhat anxiety-ridden when she and her daughter began the classes. “They met us right where we were at, on our level and they worked with us,” she says. When it was all said and done we both felt very empowered and confident and comfortable and we were very grateful we went through the course.”
the three levels of Xtreme Diva 360 Women’s Self Defense classes offered. “She’s also a Locked and Loaded Ladies member as well,” says the proud mother. “She comes to the monthly meetings with me and we practice together before the meeting.” The classes Brannon offers at ZIRKOPS Training have been up and running a little over three years. “Our business is femalefocused obviously because you know if mom, the grandmother and daughter are comfortable with the weapon, then they’re comfortable with it in their home,” she says. “Then that means dad gets to buy more guns and the children will also learn handgun safety.” “If people ask, I encourage them to come to ZIRKOPS, take the classes and get their gun permit and also take the classes that teach you how to be comfortable and more experienced,” says Plantholt. She
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In the Diva classes the women learn self-defense and how to defend themselves in case they are physically attacked. And while she was constantly being assured she would remember what she learned at the classes, Plantholt wasn’t sure until a simulated attack was enacted in the Diva level II class. During the simulated attack Ron Zirk, Brannon’s partner in the operation sneaks up and attacks the student. Both dressed in full padding to avoid any chance of injury, the lights are turned off. Nervous, she was reassured by Brannon that she would remember everything she learned when the time came to defend herself. “Tammy was right,” she said. “And sure enough I remembered and so did my daughter Hannah and we got away.” Plantholt and her daughter left the classes with a totally different perspective from when they had begun. “It was empowering and made us feel confident.
- Dave Weinthal ZIRKOPS Training is located at 6212 Highway 58 in Chattanooga TN. To contact call (423) 244 8836, 423-7103170 or email ZIRKOPS@gmail.com Web: https://www.ZIRKOPS.com
LANCE LOPEZ There’s no doubt about it, the state of Texas is well known worldwide for its fiery blues guitar players. Music has always been in Lance Lopez’s blood…as early as being in the womb. Lance is Texas blues through and through who has had the good fortune to share the stage with the heroes who helped shape his style – such names like B.B. King, Billy Gibbons and Johnny Winter not only became mentors but admirers of his work on the guitar. And things continue to get better as he formed Supersonic Blues Machine that features a who’s who when it comes to the blues and you would have to be from another planet not to recognize the names involved with Lopez on the project. Life is good for the Texas bluesman.
(laughs) Well thanks. In my opinion I think blues is best listened to live compared to listen ing to a recording. The album was actually able to conquer that. What are you thoughts on my assertion?
Absolutely. I think some of the best blues recordings were live. If you capture the emotion in the moment, you have to do the whole thing live from your heart – especially for guitar players. And the band has to push the guitar player in order to do this. I think that’s the only way to capture it. I know that Johnny Winter and Stevie Ray Vaughn, that was the only way they recorded. I think Stevie Ray Vaughn recorded his last record was the only one I think he did I’ve been listening to you Live in overdubs, but every other record NYC album and it’s not live, it’s had been live. Other than that I alive. Wow. think it could go either way. As far ENIGMA
as live album and club setting as a performer that’s the best way to capture the emotion, especially on a slow blues track and stuff like that. And you get the emotion of the audience and of the people. Some of the best blues recordings are live. Not only studio stuff, but you have like B.B. King Live at the Regal as a grand example. So many recordings were so amazing live. I think it’s one way to capture the true emotion of the player. Two things that are always paired together are the blues and barbecue. You’ve got Memphis barbe cue, Carolina barbecue and Texas barbecue for example. And with the blues you have Chicago blues, Memphis blues and you have Texas blues. You are a Texas man. Explain to me your interpretation of the blues. (laughs) That’s great man. I like the
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barbecue analogy. (laughs) That’s awesome. Am I talking about Texas blues or barbecue? Which one? (laughs) We’ll start with the blues first. (both laugh) Okay. Well, you know everything is very shuffle oriented. There’s a double clutch shuffle. It’s really reliant on the drummer. And when the drummer plays the shuffle on the snare like in Memphis or Chicago or something they pay the shuffle on the kick drum and that’s a big distinction. I really rely on the drummer sometimes. With the guitar players there are certain techniques that are a little different, however they relied a lot on the drums. There’s certain patterns that are sort of designated for Texas blues, but I really think it’s a shuffle-based thing. If you think about all the great big Texas
blues artists that have had hits on the radio they were all shuffles – Steve Ray Vaughn “Pride and Joy”, “LaGrange” by ZZ Top. All of those were shuffles – the biggest hits that they had. Are music is really based around that. Everybody thinks we ride horses down here. (laughs) I think it’s certainly based around the shuffle. I think that’s what really separates. It’s a very distinctive shuffle path that really makes a distinction between the differences of blues genres. Some say in order to play the blues you have to live them as well. Do you agree with that? I think B.B. King said it best that you don’t have to live the blues to play the blues but it sure helps. That’s what B.B. King said and you don’t have to but it will definitely get your point across. I teach guitar lessons. I’m an instructor and I teach kids how to play the blues and it sounds like a kid playing the blues. But when you listened to somebody that’s actually lived the blues you know there’s no denying it. I can teach a kid five Stevie Ray Vaughn songs he can play for his family and friends, but when you listen to someone that’s lived it and done that and the heartache
and pain in the blues you can really feel it. That’s one of those things that there’s no getting around it. You can lern from a textbook or you can live it. . Sometimes I think the textbook thing is a little bit safer for some people especially nowadays. And you hear somebody playing a certain style of blues it’s already thought out. It’s preprogrammed. It’s like by-thenumbers whereas if somebody is really out there playing from their heart by the seat of their pants, just pulling the blues out. It’s like if something were simple people were like I’ve seen that. But whoa, this is like too intense. I think there are some songs that can get a little heavy for people if it’s too real. That’s what I think but I don believe that. There’s a big distinction. It’s one thing I don’t want to discourage kids – “oh I’ve got to be on drugs, be down-trodden and drink alcohol, let all my girlfriends do this, that or the other” in order to do this. You get through that kind of stuff and survive and then it gets your point across. It’s the real deal. Like I say, when you teach a kid how to play a blues scale, it’s a kid playing a blues scale. Somebody who has lived 40 years with heartache and pain then they’re playing the blues for real.
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There seems to be a lot of respect amongst blues musicians, almost like a brotherhood. They not only respect each other but their roots as well. Yes to a degree. I mean, to a degree, yeah, it’s like anything. There’s still some competitiveness out there in certain circles. I think with anything you get that. I think if there was really more of a brotherhood I think blues would be more of a mainstream music – especially blues/rock. I think if there was really more camaraderie or bringing everyone together: that’s what I’m trying to do with my new band, Supersonic Blues Machine. It works on this camaraderie situation and try to bring that to the forefront. Everybody would come together more and blues would be more of a mainstream situation.
timeless music, all the great timeless bands were all blues bands. Of course radio back then everything was rock and roll. It didn’t matter if it was an R&B song, coun try song or rock. They all played on the same station one after the other without being segmented into different sub-categories the way all radio is now. Exactly, and I think that’s exactly what’s created it. I truly believe that, having everything divided up into different categories. Kids today don’t realize what they’ve been missing out on. We were spoiled I guess being able to listen to all that stuff one after the other. We didn’t have to switch channels. You could stay on the same channel and hear a little bit of everything and could appreciate everything more I thought.
Many people don’t realize most rock and roll is blues-based. A lot Absolutely. of musical genres are. You learned to play guitar at the Absolutely. I agree 100 percent. I age of eight. When did you first don’t know how much it is in to the fall in love with music? rock now. Modern rock music today is half electronic half some- My dad was in the army with Elvis thing else. and they were very good friends. Elvis was an army buddy of father Yeah, I just scratch my head at so my first memories was the 1968 times. comeback special of Elvis. I was probably two or three years old at Yeah. I tell you what has some that point and from that point on I really great guitar tones is country wanted to play guitar. I was sitting music. Those are great guitar play- there watching TV and I saw Elvis ers with grat guitar tones and isn’t Presley sitting there in the round far off from the blues. It’s real playing acoustic guitar with all his rocking, which is kind of what I’m fans and I looked around the TV doing too – blues-rock. It’s kind pf and there was a picture of Elvis on blues – blues-based rock and roll. the TV with he and my dad togethIt’s kind of the old school beat, it’s er. “That’s my dad’s friend. I want kind of considered classic rock. I to do that.” I didn’t know that was call it blues-rock. It’s based in Elvis, I just knew it was my dad’s blues. Yeah, it is the basis for that friend. That guy? That’s what I just like country music today is want to do. That’s how it all startmore rock based. I try to deal with ed. the blues. Even though I rely on a lot of vintage stuff and a lot of How difficult was it to choose a throwback era things, classic stuff, guitar to match your style of play? you still need to modernize it and make it go further. We get into a For years I played a Stratocaster. I tradition of a mindset of the blues always played Les Pauls and other and it’s like being stuck in the first Gibsons, too. Coming from where I grade forever. It’s like I learned to come from a lot of guys play do this in the first grade, it doesn’t Stratocasters and I played mean I’m going to stay in the first Stratocasters for many years grade the rest of my life. I need to because my biggest hero played push the envelope, make things one – Jimi Hendrix. However, my progressive which is kind of hat a first love and still to this day my lot of the English bands were doing love has always been for a Les in the late ‘60s and ‘70s. It’s like Paul. And many years I played a that also is the genre. It was called Stratocaster – many, many years. I rock and roll 45 years ago and now still have them, I still play them, it’s called blues/rock. All the great but my first love was the Les Paul.
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Especially after seeing when I was ten or 11 years old seeing Jimmy Page play one in “The Song Remains the Same” movie, that was a big inspiration. That’s the guitar I want to play. I played Stratocasters and they were popular at one particular time and after seeing Stevie Ray Vaughn in concert I started playing one. I played it for years and it wasn’t until later when I started going out playing some shows with B.B. King and B.B. heard me on a Strat and he saw I had some Gibsons and he said, “You need to be playing a Gibson.” And I thought about that for a long time how B.B. King said this is what I should be playing. So I would switch back and forth. A few years later I was opening a show for ZZ Top and Billy Gibbons came to me and said, “I like you better on the Gibson.” B.B. King and Billy Gibbons told me something so that’s what I’m gonna do. (both laugh) We like to play both, and so it’s a constant debate – a Stratocaster or Les Paul. I love that debate. It’s a great debate. They both are great guitars. After that, playing with Johnny Winter I never played a Firebird. Johnny and I were talking about it. We were talking about his Firebird and all the guitars that Johnny had. Johnny just said, “Here, just take my Firebird home with you.” I thought, “Oh my God!” That’s like Jimmy Page giving someone his Les Paul. He was like, “Here, just tae my guitar. Just take my Firebird.” And I’m thinking, “Oh my gosh”. So I took it and played it and thought not only am I playing a Firebird but I’m playing the Firebird. That’s where I got the love for the Firebird, too, where I never spent time with one until Johnny put his in my hands. You’ve rubbed elbows and played besides all these household names. What is that feeling like? Gratitude and just what a blessing that is to be amongst the greats and to be alongside my heroes. And then that goes away and we’re just friends. First it’s just humbling and there’s this sense of gratitude to be around somebody that I looked up to and learned to play from their records. It’s really humbling and a sense of gratitude. A lot of them aren’t here anymore. And it’s when I’ve lost a lot of them like B.B. King and Johnny Winter and others, it was really a point where I just went, “Wow, I was able to be a part of that history”. Just
of my early records were jam oriented. They were extended jam kind of things where I was endlessly kind of soloing. In this era of my career I’m about the songs now. And that’s what’s so great about my new band now, Supersonic Blues Machine: it’s all about the song. And we’ve got the greatest guitar players in the world in the band with us. We’re not just a big, giant jam band. Everybody is playing With your band Supersonic Blues fanatically, playing themes and Machine and even the other work being very tasteful. Live... that to
immense gratitude to be amongst those people. Plus with Johnny Winter, we were very, very close. We came from the same area and our families live around Beaumont/Port Arthur around the area where Johnny was from. So there was a bigger connection than just friends. We had a very strong connection. It’s been really a blessing to be amongst them.
you do what is the songwriting me is when it’s time to jam. process? Do you like to collabo - Playing an album is one thing. Live rate? jamming – everybody’s in the mood and everyone wants us to I love collaborating nowadays. jam – it’s kind of a give and take. When I was putting out my early We want it to be very dynamic and records when I was younger it was that’s how I approach crafting the all on me. I would write all the songs nowadays – handcrafting songs and on one album I played them and putting them together all the instruments by myself. I did that way. everything. Today it’s like those days are kind of over. I like to col- Usually when you perform live it laborate with other songwriters or can be a situation where anything producers. I used to produce my goes. When I listen to the live own records and record everything album, knowing that you were and do it myself. There weren’t big recording did you have to concenbudgets – it was me by myself trate a little more on what you against the clock. Today I like to were doing or were you allowed to play with great producers. My pro- let loose like you would normally ducer today is Fabrizio Rossi out in do live? Los Angeles. I worked with Paul Nelson who produced Johnny Actually I just went out and played. Winter. He did the live album. I Johnny asked me to play for his worked with the great Jim Gaines birthday party – and that was in Memphis the last couple of Johnny Winters’ 70th birthday records. I’m just a big fan of hav- party in New York City where the ing a producer now compared to album as recorded. He asked me producing my own albums. I like to play for his birthday party. to have a great producer so they There was this star-studded cast of can pull the best out of me. Also characters in the audience – legwith songwriting I like the objectiv- ends ready to come celebrate ity to create something from the Johnny’s birthday with him. I put ground up with someone. It’s very everything I had into it. I just went much a collaborative thing I like to out there and gave it my all. I put do nowadays compared write by everything I had into it for Johnny. myself – which I still do write a lot It was his birthday and I wanted to of riffs and ideas by myself but I give it my all and make Johnny show them to my producer. A lot proud. That was a huge honor for ENIGMA
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me. With spring finally here what plans do you have for now and into the summer? I’m going out with Supersonic Blues Machine. We’re going over to Europe and start the maiden voyage. We’re going to kickoff our tour in Europe and go out and start playing live and take some of the guests with us. We’ll have some of the guys like Robben Ford and Walter Trout, Eric Gales, Chris Duarte, Warren Haynes, Billy Gibbons and have a various cast of characters join us at various places, It’s going to be pretty hectic. I’m very excited about it and it’s something that’s going to be pretty phenomenal. We’ll be ending the year in London and in fall with Supersonic at the London Blues Festival at the O2 Arena. It ought to be a serious year for the new band. In the meantime my trio band, we’re still playing around Texas and go out to California. We’re doing some regional dates around Texas playing on the road. We play all the roadhouses and barbecue joints and blues clubs and stuff around. We’re just staying around doing our thing we do, but it’s going to be a really good year to kickoff Supersonic Blues Machine. And I’ve got a solo album I’ve been working on for the last few years, so I’m amassing material. I cut some tracks up in New York last summer and this summer I’m going to be revisiting that when Supersonic comes back from Europe. My bass player in Supersonic is also my producer. And I cut some tracks with Paul Nelson who was producing Johnny Winter up in New York last year, so we’re going to be revisiting a lot of that stuff.
- Dave Weinthal
PUZZLE ANSWERS
Still Jukebox Heroes
I remember the first time I heard Foreigner. I was in eighth grade and Pat Halstead turned me on to them. Pat was a senior and the coolest guy in the school. And despite our age difference at the time he didn’t mind hanging out from time to time with someone in junior high (as it was called back the day instead of “middle school”). Pat was cool. He had a cool haircut (most of us tried to replicate it to some degree), was the first person I knew to ride a skateboard – and was the reason I started riding as well as the rest of the school, had the coolest girlfriend and all in all was the most popular guy at our school. He is also responsible for turning me on to a lot of great music at the time. He not only turned me on the Foreigner, but Boston, Fleetwood Mac, Manfred Mann’s Earth Band and the list goes on and on.
down. I was not interested at the time. I was listening to bands like Pearl Jam, Nirvana, The Smithereens and such. I wasn’t in the mood for a “classic rock” show. Neither were a lot of people in Chattanooga. It sold so little the promoter moved the show from the Memorial Auditorium to
Foreigner had a unique sound for that time as disco was king and the band mixed aggressive rock and roll with great harmonies. They were just the coolest band around I thought. Pat would from time to time carry the vinyl record to school and we would enjoy gazing at the artwork of these new finds of his. He was too cool for 8tracks and it was before the era of the cassette. I always liked Foreigner’s album covers as well a s Boston’s. They always at the time seemed a little edgy like the cover of Head Games with the hot chick in the men’s restroom. I’m not sure what happened to Pat after he graduated. I only saw him once after he got out. He told me he was a professional skateboarder, and while I know that didn’t last long because the money was there like it is now for skateboarders I figured out he was successful in whatever he did because he was so damn cool. So became my infatuation with the band. Despite being a fan of the band I never saw them live. I had a chance in 1993 but turned it
years earlier had the top song on the Billboard charts play this dive. But the show must go on and it did. I’m surprised the promoter didn’t do to the show what he did with the Bon Jovi show he brought to town that didn’t sell – cancel it.
and the story that began this saga years ago when Judas Priest replaced Rob Halford with a guy they heard in a Priest tribute band. Of course Halford came back to the fold - thankfully.
Well my time was about to hapOf course I regret it now. Over the pen. Foreigner was coming to town. In advance of the show I ©Dave Weinthal got a copy of Juke Box Heroes an album Foreigner made where they rerecorded many of their greatest hits digitally. I’m one who likes things as original as possible. I remember when I bought an Austin Healey Sprite. Instead of customizing it like my best friend Chuck did to the cars he bought I would always try to replace parts – hub caps, interior, etc. the way it originally was or from that era in which the car was made. The same with my music. I almost always love original versions best. Lou Gramm sang on Juke Box Heroes and I listened to the disc very intently. I remember years ago I got a Badfinger greatest hits CD with the hits rerecorded by the current lineup. Not one to mince words it sucked. I also have a Howard Jones best of CD where he digitally rerecorded his best loved songs. It was only marginally better than the Badfinger. Therefore I apprehensively listened to Juke Box Heroes but for the first time in years I was jonesing to hear these songs again. The album was surprisingly good. The vocals were dead on. The only difference in the digital and the original was that on one or two of the songs the tempo was ever so slightly slower. This I know because I always sang along (in the car of course) for years and years. That and the drums were not as bombastic as I remember on “Feels Like the First Time”. The mix I guess was off in my opinion. But how would these guys sound with Kelly Hansen fronting them instead of Gramm? I found out the other night.
a bar in Rivermont called of all past 20 years from time to time I would see them on a package tour things “Grizzly’s”. or an occasional one-off show. Grizzly’s was about a step and a Nothing motivated me to see them half above a dive bar located in a however. Original singer Lou Bi-Lo shopping center. By the Gramm left for good a number of name alone it is obvious it was a years ago over health issues and I country music/southern rock kind have always been wary of seeing of bar. It is now a pool hall if that bands I grew up with touring with give you any idea. You couldn’t new lead singers. I saw Styx a coupay me to go there. And of course ple of years ago and was pleasantI regret it now. I don’t think I ly surprised. I, of course read all could see one of the bands I loved about the Journey journey and There is such a difference growing up who less than ten their replacement for Steve Perry between a real rock show and the ENIGMA
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©Dave Weinthal
current popular pop acts that tour today. Today’s pop acts no longer sing live as you are well aware. It’s more of choreographed dance number with only live interaction between songs. Rock is meant to be played alive and indeed Foreigner is alive and well. A concert cannot be choreographed the band and the crowd goes with the flow. Their body and the bodies in the crowd go with the flow wherever and whatever direction that takes them. That in my opinion is why you see so many people get literally whipped into a frenzy at a rock concert. From the proverbial opening bell until the last note of the concert Foreigner was dead on and had everyone eating out of the palm of their hands. My greatest fears were put at ease with the first note of “Double Vision”. Foreigner rocked through their 75 minute set and a two song encore that saw the sold out crowd on their feet the entire time and singing along note for note
from the first note. That being said, I’ve never heard such a tone deaf crowd in my life as literally no one around me could sing. It was better left to the likes of Kelly Hansen. Hansen, who has been fronting the band for a number of years put my fears at ease as well seeing that I am a purist. He does Lou Gramm and the legacy of Foreigner proud. Hansen is a true front man. He’s tall and thin resembling a young Mick Jagger/Steven Tyler. I’ve always considered Tyler the American version of Jagger. Hansen was strutting all over the stage, swinging the mic stand around like a baton as he worked the crowd into a frenzy. It was magical. The band was dead on. My biggest fears were laid to rest when they started “Feels Like the First Time”. The drums were bombastic. More so than I remember on the record adding that much more to the experience. You see, real drums were an integral part of rock music of the ‘70s. Listen to Fleetwood Mac, Foreigner and ENIGMA
even the Eagles to reference if you need. Back then it was almost as if the drummer was a band’s lead instrument. Mick Jones, founding band member and only original member was alive on guitar. He also moved around the stage gracefully. You would have never known he had been doing most of these songs for 40 years. With a long, flowing mane of hair he actually looks a lot like Robert Plant these days instead of rock and roll patriarch. The true test to see if the show is good is to look at the members of the band as they play the songs. You can tell whether it’s another day at the office, just going through the motions or really getting into it. There was no doubt the crowd was into it as I said earlier hey sang along to each and every song note for note despite rarely hitting the note. Foreigner was having fun. Mick Jones smiled the whole time on stage. Papa Foreigner was having the time of his life. And so was the rest of the
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band and I already told you about those at the show. Pure joy is contagious. Not only was the band having a good time, the crowd was as well as some tears of joy as many have never gotten to see the band live. And they were lucky enough to see one of the best shows to hit the stages of the Tivoli ever. The only regret from the show I had was they didn’t play “Blue Morning Blue Day” my personal favorite Foreigner song. But I can live with that. They played all the others. I’ve got no complaints other than I wish I had gone to Grizzly’s that night in 1993. I wonder if Pat Halstead was at the show? I hope he was. He would have enjoyed it. I doubt I would recognize him if I had run into him there, but if I would have, I would have thanked him for turning me on to these guys a lifetime ago. Thanks Pat.
- Dave Weinthal
©Chris Eason
X-Ambassadors Bring the Energy used in national ad campaigns but despite the current generation “digging” them so are their parents ironically. One of my friends called me and asked if I was going to go to the show. I told him I was and he was jealous. He told me his son has been listening to them and that got him hooked on them. That’s a good sign for a band. While young people will look back at music and its history its rarely people look forward from their youth without reservations and doubt. The XAmbassadors are one of those bands. The crowd this night was decidedly youthful with a little bit of age thrown in as good measure The band has been growing in pop- – not like a Selena Gomez concert ularity on a daily basis in part where they were there as chaperbecause certain songs have been ones. To think less than a year ago you could have easily walked into an XAmbassadors show and get a nice place close to the front of the set. Not so much now. The band that was kind of discovered by Imagine Dragons’ Dan Reynolds, touring as support last year for Muse as well as having a song strategically used in a major ad campaign the XAmbassadors have caught fire. The Tabernacle was sold-out as they came to town as headliners. The crowd populated with a lot of beards, skinny jeans and the such. But there was more diversity in the crowd than that.
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X-Ambassadors turned heads this past fall with their set at Music Midtown and those in attendance were not disappointed by the New York quartet’s set at The Tabernacle. If anything they strengthened their grip on their loyal and ever-growing fan base.
people become hip to this band before they become as obsolete as my tape collection. X-Ambassadors Set List: Loveless Hang On Love Songs Drug Songs Superpower Giants Unsteady Low Life Naked Nervous Gorgeous Jungle Renegades
Many have been mesmerized by the band’s haunting melodies that have been used in major ad campaigns like Jeep but there is so much more to the band. Despite the haunting, at times mellow music there is the presence of front man Sam Harris who brings a lot to the table. His high energy was display as he is Encore: much more than a singer keeping the crowd on edge all night. On Unconsolable tour in support of their first album VHS last summer let’s hope more - Chris Eason
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©Chris Eason
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©Chris Eason
©Chris Eason
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RUMOUR HAS IT… Gregg Allman’s Laid Back …G Festival stop in Chicago won’t be the only place to catch Allman and Peter Frampton sharing a bill this summer. The former Allman Brothers Band frontman and the English rock musician have signed on for a run of July co-headline dates. After wrapping his acoustic RAW tour over the weekend, Frampton returns to the road with his band in May. He tells fans, “We
working off-duty on the Grammy winner’s security detail. The lawsuit filed Monday by Capt. Jeffrey Wenninger alleges the groping and sexually suggestive comments by John occurred in early 2014. Orin Snyder , an attorney for John’s Rocket Entertainment Group, denied the allegations. Wenninger’s lawsuit against John accuses the singer of groping him while riding to an airport in late …A decorated Los Angeles police March 2014. Roughly two weeks captain has sued Elton John , later, the suit alleges, John comclaiming he was repeatedly mitted other acts. groped by the singer while he was Adam Sandler and David Spade …A have a comedy tour to go along with their upcoming Netflix flick, “The Do-Over.” The guys are bringing along Nick Swardson, Rob Schneider and special guests. Launching in San Francisco May 19, the coast-to-coast road trip includes gigs in Chicago, Boston and Brooklyn. The last stop is Uncasville, Conn., May 27 – the same day the “Do-Over” streams worldwide on Netflix.
will be all electric and plan to rock your arse!! That’s UK speak for ‘butt’ or, ‘ass’!” Along with his own headline dates, Frampton has a bunch of shows lined up with Lynyrd Skynyrd. Allman has three dozen dates booked between April and September, including U.S. headline shows, his Laid Back Festival gigs and other festival commitments.
…The forecast is calling for some purple rain to be hitting Atlanta soon. Prince just added two intimate shows in ATL to his “Piano & A Microphone” tour. Both gigs take place April 7 at the 4,665capacity Fox Theatre, with one performance at 7 p.m. and the other at 10 p.m. Prince has left his backing band and guitar behind for this outing as he shows off what he can do with just a piano and a microphone. His royal highness will treat fans to tunes from throughout his massive catalog, along with some other selections. Previous “Piano & A Microphone” concerts have featured Prince’s take on songs by Joni Mitchell, ENIGMA
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Paul Robeson and Ray Charles, as well as songs he’s written for acts including The Time, Sheila E. and Vanity 6 . An announcement promises that each performance boasts a “unique setlist that evolves in real time, song-tosong.” …An inordinate number of festivals scheduled for 2016 have been called off. As of this week Pollstar had record of 23 major festival cancellations, most of which were announced before tickets went on sale. Of the events that sold tickets before bailing out, all were either dedicated to country music or held in Australasia. Of these, some fell through amid conflict and disorganization, such as Soundwave, while others gave absolutely no public information as to why the plug was pulled, like Dega Jam. A number of these festivals were relatively new. A general assumption within the industry is that festival cancellation after tickets go on sale is usually due to poor ticket sales, but the festivals that were axed before selling tickets cited various reasons. Some said they could not secure the right artists or venue, some cited financial problems, while others such as the Gathering of the Vibes festival said they simply needed a break. William Shatner is being sued …W for $170 million by a man who claims to be his son. The plaintiff, Peter Sloan, alleges that the 85year-old actor had a brief fling with his mother, late Canadian actress Kathy McNeil, who gave
him up for adoption aged five. Sloan has requested that Shatner take a DNA test and claims that he previously “admitted he was the plaintiff’s father”, reports the New York Post. The lawsuit, filed in Florida, claims that Shatner made the comment when Sloan met him on the set of police drama TV series T.J. Hooker and that a representative for the star subsequently contacted him and said he was “totally denying paternity at this point”. Keith Richards has criticized …K modern popular music and the prevalent use of songwriters in pop. The Rolling Stones guitarist recently spoke to Time Out London and was asked his thoughts on stars like Adele and Rihanna working with a team of songwriters to write their hits. Richards replied: “Well, they can’t rely on themselves, can they?” He went on to add: “We’re in the midst of a heavy-duty ‘showbiz’ period, even stronger than when we killed it last time. The X Factor and all this competition sh-t. It’s just for people who want to be famous. Well, if it’s fame you want, good luck. You’d better learn to live with it.” In contrast, Richards stated that he wrote the band’s classic track ‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’ in “bed with a guitar” one night.
cardboard cutout after pulling out of a fan meet and greet on his US tour. Fans who paid thousands for VIP tickets that include the chance to meet the star backstage after his concert, were left disappointed after Bieber announced last week that he was canceling all paid-for public appearances. Despite the cancellation, fans were unable to get a refund for the $2,000 VIP package to Bieber’s Las Vegas show without also forfeiting their gig ticket, the Mirror reports. Those that chose to still attend the show found that Bieber had been replaced by cardboard cutout at his backstage meet and greet. …RRoss Shapiro, frontman of indie band The Glands , has died. Friends told Flagpole, a publication based in the band’s hometown of Athens, Georgia, that the singer passed away following all illness. However, the exact cause of Shapiro’s death is currently unknown. The Glands released two albums, 1998’s Double Thriller and 2000’s self-titled follow-up. They reunited in 2011 to play the first gig at Athens’ newly-restored Georgia Theater, which had been been destroyed two years earlier in a fire. The same year, The Glands supported New Jersey indie trio Yo La Tengo on a US tour.
…JJoe Skyward , a member of Sunny Day Real Estate and The Posies, has passed away following a battle with prostate cancer. Skyward was bassist in emo outfit Sunny Day Real Estate in 1998. He replaced Foo Fighters’ Nate Mendel in the band. The musician, also known as Joe Bass, served in power-pop group The Posies from 1994–99 and then again during their reunion in 2013 and 2014. The Posies confirmed the news via Facebook, writing that Skyward was “positive to the end” and “went surrounded by friends and family”.
…Step into a live fairytale where enchantment meets wonder, Beauty meets Beast and fairy godmothers grant wishes at Rock City’s 3rd annual Fairytale Nights, beginning knightly April 1st through the 17th, 6 pm - 8 pm. Entrance begins at the castle gates, as royal guests are announced in an opening ceremony at 6 pm. Once beginning the Enchanted Trail, girls become princesses and boys train to be knights. New characters this year include Hansel and Gretel, Beauty and the Beast and returning favorites: Cinderella, Snow White, Prince Charming, Little Red Riding …JJustin Bieber was replaced by a Hood and Merlin (plus many othENIGMA
ers)! Additional activities include the knight’s training academy where children are crowned by Queen Guinevere upon completion. Meet some live falcons at an interactive exhibit near the Stone Forge Tavern, and talk with a live troll named Ik! Enjoy story time and other kid’s activities like decorating a crown or the activity station with Jack at the Giant’s lair. And try some dragon wing stew at the Beast’s Castle. Reservations are also still available for a special Tea with Alice and the White Rabbit for April 10th or 11th at 4:30 pm. Cinderella, The Fairy Godmother, Snow White and other beloved characters are also attending. Enjoy a threecourse tea menu including crumpets, sandwiches, fresh fruit, desserts and delicious beverages. Tickets include a souvenir photo and a gift. For reservations and discounted tickets to the knight’s training, go to www.seerockcity.com/fairytale. … Covenant College is proud to present Emma Shope’s Senior Project The Morning After. Entering into a subject that is not talked about as widely as it should, The Morning After seeks to open up the conversation about sexual brokenness and redemption from that brokenness. Due to the time we live in, the effects of the Fall on sexuality are seen throughout our culture and this is an issue that requires more widespread awareness than has generally been given; Emma is seeking to make a step towards that greater awareness, with this show. Tickets are free and if you want more information, email boxoffice@covenant.edu or call (706) 419-1051. If you know any truths, half-truths or outright lies about the music and club scene send it to Sissy Vance c/o rumoursmill@enigmaonline.com.
- Sissy Vance
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1. Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals 2. Dr. Dog 3. Death Cab for Cutie 4. Grace Potter 5. Ray LaMontagne 6. The Revivalists 7. David Bowie 8. Elle King 9. Mayer Hawthorne 10. Iggy Pop 11. Catfish And The Bottlemen 12. The Lumineers 13. Bonnie Raitt 14. Larkin Poe 15. Jayhawks 16. Andrew Bird 17. Flogging Molly 18. Widespread Panic 19. 7Horse 20. Jason Isbell
ADVENTURE PICKS 1. Primal Scream 2. Peter, Bjorn & John 3. Fitz and the Tantrums
THIS MONTH IN ROCK HISTORY 1954 Bill Haley records “Rock Around The Clock”, a song that was first released by Sunny Dae in 1952. The record will become a modest hit, selling 75,000 copies, but would become a national sensation when it was featured in the movie The Blackboard Jungle twelve months later.
year-old Stuart Sutcliffe, died of a brain hemorrhage. Sutcliffe was included in the band because he had the equipment and place to rehearse, although he couldn’t play very well. His girlfriend, Astrid Kirchherr, created The Beatle haircut for Stu, and John and Paul followed soon after. Sutcliffe can be heard on very early Beatle tracks 1956 included on “Anthology 1”. He left Little Richard’s “Long Tall Sally” the band in 1961 to resume painting enters the US Pop chart, where it because his headaches were getting would climb to #6. The record would too severe to play. top the R&B chart and became the 1964 first of his three US Top 10 hits. A cover version by Pat Boone The Beach Boys record “I Get appeared on the Pop chart simulta- Around”, which will become their neously and reached #8. first US #1 single by the following July, selling nearly two million Nat King Cole is attacked by a group copies. It reached #7 in the UK. of five racial segregationists while singing onstage at the Municipal Hall The Beatles set a recording industry in Birmingham, Alabama. The attack- record that may never be equaled. ers were quickly arrested by police They held the top 5 positions on the and Cole would return later that Billboard Hot 100 with “Can’t Buy Me night for a second show. Love” at number 1, “Twist and Shout” at number 2, “She Loves You” at Buddy Holly’s first single “Blue Days, number 3, “I Want to Hold Your Black Nights”, was released by Decca Hand” at number 4 and “Please Records. The up-tempo, Country fla- Please Me” at number 5. In Canada, vored tune proved to be a poor sell- they had nine of the Top 10 singles, er. while the Australian charts saw them occupying the first six places. 1957 1965 Elvis Presley recorded “Jailhouse Rock”. The song went on to top the The Beach Boys record “California Cashbox Best Sellers list, the Girls”, which will reach number Billboard Pop music chart, the R&B three in the US by August. In 2004, chart and even the Country And the song was ranked #71 on Rolling Western chart. It also became the Stone’s list of The 500 Greatest first single to enter the UK chart at Songs of All Time. number 1. The tune was written by 1966 Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller specifically for a scene in the movie of the The Troggs use 45 minutes of spare same name. studio time to record “Wild Thing” at Regent Sound Studio in London. The 1962 raw, simple little tune would climb The Rolling Stones began to take to #2 in the UK and #1 in the US, sellshape when Mick Jagger and Keith ing over a million copies by the folRichards met guitarist Brian Jones at lowing June. the Ealing Jazz Club. Bill Wyman and Charlie Watts came into the picture Jan Berry, the younger half of Jan in January of 1963. And Dean, was paralyzed after he ran his Corvette into a parked truck The Beatles’ original bass player, 22- on a side street in Beverly Hills. ENIGMA
Berry suffered total physical paralysis for over a year as well as extensive brain damage which made it impossible to return to performing. The pair started their hit streak in 1958 with “Jennie Lee” and followed with “Baby Talk”, “Surf City”, “Sidewalk Surfin’”, “Drag City”, “Dead Man’s Curve”, “The Little Old Lady From Pasadena” and “Popsicle”. Jan’s accident ended their career as hit makers, although they attempted a comeback in 1978 after the biographical movie, Dead Man’s Curve, was shown on TV.
reached #14 in 1991) 1968 The Broadway Musical Hair opened in New York for its first performance. The show featured songs that would become Rock and Roll standards like Galt MacDermot’s “Hair” and “Aquarius / Let the Sunshine In”, along with “Good Morning Starshine” and “Easy to Be Hard”. The production ran for 1,729 performances, finally closing on July 1st, 1972.
1967 18-year-old Steve Winwood left The Spencer Davis Group to join Dave Mason, Jim Capaldi and Chris Wood in Traffic. Winwood had been with Spencer Davis since he was 15.
1970 Only Ringo Starr is present at the final Beatles recording session, where he overdubs percussion tracks for “The Long and Winding Road”, “Across The Universe” and “I Me Mine”.
Nancy and Frank Sinatra had the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100, The Cashbox Best Sellers List and Britain’s New Musical Express record chart with “Something Stupid”. To this day, they are the only father and daughter team to have a US chart topping single. (“Unforgettable” by Natalie Cole and Nat “King” Cole
Paul McCartney announces a “temporary break with The Beatles,” citing “personal differences” and adding that he will no longer record with John Lennon. Paul disapproved of Yoko Ono and of Beatles financial advisor Allen Klein. When a reporter called Lennon to comment upon McCartney’s resignation, John said,
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“Paul hasn’t left. I sacked him.” A week after McCartney’s announcement, he released his first solo album, spelling the end of The Beatles. Twiggs Lyndon, the road manager for the Allman Brothers Band, was arrested for murder after he stabbed a club manager during an argument over a contract. At the ensuing trial, Lyndon’s lawyers argued that he had been temporarily insane at the time of the incident and that touring with the Allman Brothers would drive anyone insane. Incredibly, Lyndon was acquitted. 1971 The Rolling Stones release “Brown Sugar”, the first single on their own label, Rolling Stones Records, which introduces the infamous lickingtongue-and-lips logo designed by John Pasche. 1972 The Electric Light Orchestra played its first live show, promoting their debut album, “No Answer”. The concert didn’t get very good reviews and founding member Roy Wood split several months later, leaving Jeff Lynne to write and produce most of the band’s material. 1975 Minnie Riperton’s, “Lovin’ You” reached the top of the Billboard singles chart. Minnie began recording as part of The Gems and then later with Rotary Connection. She had retired from the music scene in 1970 to raise a family when Stevie Wonder persuaded her to join his back-up group, Wonderlove. Wonder later produced Riperton’s first solo album, “Perfect Angel” along with four more albums before she died of cancer on July 12th, 1979. “Lovin’ You” reached #2 in the UK. 1976 Johnnie Taylor’s “Disco Lady” climbed to number one on the Billboard Pop chart. It would become the first disc to be given the newly introduced Platinum Award by The Recording Industry Association of America. In the UK, the song reached #25. Peter Frampton went to #1 on the Billboard album chart with “Frampton Comes Alive”. The LP would stay on the chart for 97 weeks and sell over 6 million copies. It is still one of the largest selling ‘live’ albums of all time, behind Garth Brooks’ “Double Live”, “Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band Live 1975 - ‘85” and “The Eagles Live”.
The Who’s drummer Keith Moon phe is used between the y and the s. paid nine cab drivers to block-off 1984 both ends of a New York street so he could throw the contents of his hotel 44-year-old Marvin Gaye was shot room out of the window. and killed by his father after a heated family argument. Gaye had just 1977 received a Grammy for his hit, Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumors” album “Sexual Healing”, his first Top 40 sinwent to #1 on the Billboard chart gle in 5 1/2 years. Remarkably, Gaye’s where it stayed for 31 weeks. father received only a six-year susWorldwide, the LP would sell over 25 pended sentence and five years promillion copies. bation after pleading guilty to voluntary manslaughter. Charges of first1978 degree murder were dropped after Eddie Money saw his first US hit, doctors discovered Marvin Sr. had a “Baby Hold On” enter the Billboard brain tumor which would kill him in chart, where it would reach #11. He October, 1998. would go on to place nine more 1985 songs in the Top 40, including two Top 10 hits “Take Me Home Tonight” David Lee Roth quit Van Halen short(#4 in 1986) and “Walk On Water” (#9 ly after releasing his version of The in 1988). Beach Boys’ “California Girls”, which featured Carl Wilson on background 1979 vocals. Roth’s record actually sold Blondie brought a touch of New slightly better than the original. He Wave music to the Hot 100 when was replaced by Sammy Hagar later “Heart Of Glass” reached #1. They in the year. would score three more chart toppers over the next two years. Wham! became the first group to release cassettes in the People’s 1981 Republic of China. Paul McCartney, who is reluctant to 1987 tour because of death threats he was receiving in the wake of John Grace Slick’s lead vocals helped Lennon’s murder, decides to disband Starship reach Billboard’s number Wings. one spot for the third time with “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now”. The 1983 song was co-written by Albert Danny Rapp of Danny And The Hammond, who had scored a numJuniors, died of a self-inflicted gun- ber 5 hit of his own in 1972 with “It shot wound. His band achieved two Never Rains in Southern California”. classic 1950’s hits, “At the Hop” (#1) 1989 and “Rock and Roll is Here to Stay” (#19). He was 41 years old. Roy Orbison had his final Top 10 single on the US chart with “You Got It”, US Interior Secretary James Watt four months after he passed away. officially announces that he will not The song was written by Jeff Lynne invite The Beach Boys and The Grass and Tom Petty and appeared on Roots to perform at the annual Orbison’s “Mystery Girl” album that Fourth of July celebration in was released posthumously. Washington because they attract 1994 “the wrong element of people.” His choice of entertainers is Wayne An electrician hired to install a secuNewton. President Ronald Regan rity system at Kurt Cobain’s resiwould overturn the decision two dence finds the body of the 27-yeardays later. old Nirvana front man lying on the Pete Farndon, bassist for The Pretenders on their US Top 20 hits “Brass In Pocket” (1980) and “Back On The Chain Gang” (1983), died of a drug overdose. He was 30 years old. Dexys Midnight Runners went to the top of the Billboard singles chart with “Come On Eileen”, the group’s only US #1. The song also topped the UK chart. The band took their name from the amphetamine Dexedrine, commonly known as Dexys, and therefore the group’s name is improperly spelled when an apostroENIGMA
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floor of a room above the garage with a shotgun on his chest and a suicide note nearby. Not everyone was convinced his death was a suicide and The Mystery Of Kurt Cobain’s Death is still a hotly debated topic today. 1996 KISS appear in full make-up at the 38th Grammy Awards, where they announce a reunion tour. It will mark the first time all four members have appeared together in fifteen years. 1998 Wendy O. Williams, the chainsawwielding singer for the Punk Rock band The Plasmatics, committed suicide in the woods near her Connecticut home. 2001 Joey Ramone, of the ‘70s punk band The Ramones, died of lymphatic cancer at the age of 49 . His real name was Jeff Hyman. 2007 Former KISS guitarist Mark St. John died from an apparent brain hemorrhage at the age of 51. St. John was Kiss’ third official guitarist, having replaced Vinnie Vincent in 1984 and appeared on the album “Animalize”. 2015 Former Rolling Stones bassist, 78year-old Bill Wyman announced that he would release “Back to Basics”, his first solo album in 33 years, on June 22nd on Proper Records. R&B legend Ben E. King passed away at the age of 76. He was a member of The Drifters and sang lead on their biggest singles, “This Magic Moment”, “Save The Last Dance For Me” and “There Goes My Baby.” King also reached the Billboard Top 40 seven times as a solo artist, including his 1961 #4 hit, “Stand By Me”.