Enigma 4/02/15

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ŠChris Eason



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Final Four Gumbo There was a time when the NCAA basketball tournament was my favorite sporting event. I loved its single-elimination tournament format. I loved it when a low-seeded team would upset one of the regional favorites. I loved how it would come down to The Final Four. I often said I’d prefer tickets to an NCAA Final Four than tickets to a Super Bowl. Today I watch only a little bit of either on TV... just out of habit…

out of love with college basketball, but I can’t quite figure out the exact year. I know it started to happen when more and more of the top collegiate basketball stars started bailing out of school early and entering the National Basketball Association draft. I guess it should be noted that when I talk about NCAA tournament and The Final Four, I’m talking about the men’s competitions. I enjoy watching the Lady Mocs and the team that will only be known as the Lady Vols for a …I’ve spent a good bit of time little longer, but the full trying to pinpoint when I fell women’s tournament never

really piqued my interest… …I got a bit of a flashback to the glory days of The Final Four this past weekend. ESPN is airing a brilliant documentary called “I Hate Christian Laettner.” And I have to admit that I was one of those who didn’t like the former Duke basketball star when I tuned in to watch the in-depth profile. By the time the show was over, I had a grudging respect for Laettner and even warmed up a bit to Blue Devils coach Mike Krzyzewski… …Pre-Laettner, Coach K’s best season at Duke was an

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appearance in the 1986 finals. With the tousle-haired pretty boy in the lineup, the Devils became the top team in college basketball. Duke went to four consecutive Final Fours and claimed back-to-back national titles in 1991 and 1992. Laettner still holds the record for the most career points and games played in the NCAA tournament. His buzzer-beater against Kentucky to get Duke into the 1992 Final Four might be the best shot in the history of the NCAA tournament. Laettner didn’t miss a single shot in that game, but was lucky he didn’t get tossed out after he stomped on a prone Wildcat early in the contest.


The year before that, it was Laettner who hit the two clutch free throws that put Duke past previously unbeaten Nevada-Las Vegas. The year before that, he drilled another shot at the buzzer to beat Connecticut and send the Devils to the Final Four…

Zags. None of the three will challenge Laettner for those career points and career games NCAA tournament records. Okafor is expected to declare for the NBA draft after his first college season. Okafor and Jones might give Krzyzewski one more year…

…Despite his preppish looks, Laettner was a tough workingclass kid from upstate New York and a hip-hop music fan. He was loud-mouthed and arrogant. Opposing teams and their fans hated him. He fed on that. It’s safe to say he peaked in college. He had a couple of decent seasons in the NBA, but Laettner never reached the level of stardom he had at Duke and on the U.S. Olympic win over Gonzaga in last weekteam… end’s South regional final, …After a gutsy regional final Coach K takes his youngest team ever into his 12th Final

…Undefeated Kentucky is favored to win the NCAA championship… and so they should be. But a lot of coaches think Wisconsin’s Badgers could upset the Wildcats. Likewise, Michigan State could beat Duke in the other semifinal. If I were a betting man, though, I’d bet on a Duke-Kentucky final. In those circumstances, I wouldn’t be fool enough to bet against Coach K…

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Four. Freshmen Justise Winslow, Tyus Jones and Jahlil Okafor were in the starting lineup for Duke against the

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- Mark Bedford


MONEY MANAGEMENT

THE TRUTH ABOUT PERSONAL LOANS Personal loan. Payday loan. Cash advance. Installment loan. Shortterm loans go by many different names, but whatever you call them, they have gotten a bad reputation over the years. Many people view them as a way to take advantage of vulnerable borrowers and complain that the interest rates that accompany them are too high. Really, though, it's not fair for these loans to be judged so harshly. In short, don't listen to what others have to say. There is plenty of good in personal loans, read on to learn more.

when you need it the most. They can also open up all kinds of possibilities in your life. Maybe you've always wanted to take a short vacation, for example, and finally have the time, but a little short on the money to fund this getaway, a personal loan may be the answer. A short term loan can make what initially was thought to be impossible, quite possible. It could also help you reach bigger goals, such as owning a car or other big ticket items such as appliances. While personal loan amounts are typically small, having that extra little bit to add to what you've already saved can really come in handy.

you suddenly need money for car repairs. Or maybe someone in the family is sick and needs a doctor's visit. Whatever the case may be, payday loans give you the chance to acquire money right when you need it most. YYoouu A Apppprroovv ee tthhee TTeerr m mss aa nndd CCoonnddiittii oonnss

While it is true that the interest rates on personal loans can sometimes be a little on the high side, you never have to agree to any interest rates or other terms or conditions that you don't like. All lenders are required to show you Moonneeyy W M Whheenn YYoouu NNee eedd IItt the terms and conditions of the Perhaps one of the very best loan, along with the interest rate, things about personal loans is that These loans are also great when right upfront. You always have the they provide you with money the unexpected happens. Maybe ability to approve these terms and conditions and proceed with the loan or to turn them down. You are in the driver's seat, and hold the power. Make lenders work for your business. Savvy lenders will work with you to help you find terms and conditions that are more suitable for your specific needs and budget. Also, keep in mind that you can avoid some of the cost of the high interest rates by paying the loan back early, all at once or paying more than your actual payments

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cost at a given time. Using any of these payment factors also can have a nice positive impact on your credit score . YYoouu DDoonn''tt HHaavv ee ttoo BBoorrrr oow w BBii gg Finally, understand that with payday loans, you're not going to be borrowing some huge sum of money. In fact, most payday loans companies won't lend amounts higher than $1000. Since you can only borrow smaller amounts and because most lenders base how much you can borrow on your budget, it's not very likely that you would be stuck trying to pay back some huge bill you just can't manage. Once you have determined that a personal loan is in your future, do your research. There are many legitimate lenders online that are willing to work with you and your budget. Understand the rates and terms. Read the small print and communicate with your lender to make certain there are no misunderstandings. The truth be known, short term loans are all about options and about choice. Don't believe the lies; embrace the good in personal loans!

- Mark Simms


ARIES (Mar. 21- April 20) Confronting a situation will only result in indignation and misunderstandings. Opportunities for advancement at work are apparent. This could be a difficult day to deal with coworkers. You have more energy than the rest of the people you live with anyway. Your lucky day this week will be Thursday. TAURUS (Apr. 21- may 21) Be cautious when dealing with foreigners. You are best not to retaliate if members of your household are trying to pick a fight. You can meet new and exciting lovers through work related projects. Colleagues may try

should help alleviate that pent-up energy. Take on positions that offer Your lucky day this week will be on the job training or pay for courses related to the business. Use your Sunday. added discipline to get what you want. GEMINI (May 22-June 21) Try to have patience and refrain Your lucky day this week will be from being judgmental. Get into fit- Saturday. ness programs to keep in shape. Your ambitious mood may not go over well LEO with loved ones. Your charm will be (July 23-Aug 22) You should follow through on educaptivating. Lighten up your serious cational endeavors you have wanted attitude to pursue for some time. Face any Your lucky day this week will be emotional problems head-on to avoid situations getting out of hand. Go Sunday. over their important documents and take the time to suggest alternatives. CANCER Emotional up and downs have caused (June 22-July 22) Arguments will flare up if you get doubts in your personal life. backed into an emotional corner. A passionate encounter with your mate Your lucky day this week will be Tuesday. to undermine you.

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ing. Reciprocate by offering helpful hints. Your lucky day this week will be Tuesday. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 -Dec. 21) This is probably causing upset and confusion on the home front. Keep your feet on the ground, if you can. Real estate and joint financial ventures will be profitable. You need to spend less time daydreaming and more time accomplishing. Your lucky day this week will be Sunday.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22.- Jan. 20) Try to stay calm and understand both sides of the situation. Keep your mind on your work and stay away from situations that could ruin your reputation. You can make major deciVIRGO sions regarding your professional (Aug. 23 -Sept. 23) You will be able to pick up on future direction. You may want to try your trends if you keep your eyes peeled hand at a little creative writing. Don't for unique ideas. You can ferret out let your boss get the better of you. secret information if you just listen to what others have to say. Don't tor- Your lucky day this week will be ment yourself. Disharmony in the Friday. home will be extremely stressful. Don't let your boss make you feel AQUARIUS guilty enough to take work home (Jan. 21 -Feb. 19) This is a great day to mingle with with you. people you would like to impress. Your lucky day this week will be Focus your efforts on your work. You can persuade even the toughest Sunday. opponents to think your way. Use your ingenuity to manipulate things LIBRA to get what you want. Someone you (Sept. 24 -Oct. 23) Depression may put a damper on live with will, be impossible. your day. Romance and social activity will be a promising combination. Your lucky day this week will be You can't win and they won't listen. Thursday. You need a job with more responsiPISCES bility and a higher wage. (Feb. 20-Mar. 20) You have to know what your boss Your lucky day this week will be wants if you expect to do your job Thursday. correctly. You will impress others with your initiative and ability to SCORPIO accomplish while on short business (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) You may have difficulties with fami- trips. Be careful to avoid wrong ly members if you get involved in doings. Your intellectual charm will petty arguments. It might be time to entice new love interests. make a fresh start. Take the whole family and make it an enjoyable out- Your lucky day this week will be Saturday. APRIL 2 2015 7


Lost Vegas

the hypnotic effect of the animals was aided by frozen margaritas concocted by a great bartender at the Treasure Island Breeze bar ( shameless shout -out to Tommy Tran).Sadly the tigers are gone now No, this title is not a play on the moat at the walkway entrance to and there is a Hamburger joint title of the recent movie “Last the Excalibur Hotel and Casino. A there now. Vegas”. It is a play on the name of robotic dragon came out of a a city that is synonymous with sin, medieval looking hut and menaced Since I mentioned Tommy, he used vice, money, gambling, prostitu- a robotic Merlin the Wizard by, of to tend bar at the Battle, a bar tion, etc. Strangely enough prosti- course, breathing fire at him. that’s located just inside the tution is illegal in Las Vegas. Merlin would wave his magic wand Treasure Island near a really cool However there are tons of people and magically placate the Dragon patio bar. The patio overlooked the standing around on the street cor- that would then withdraw back “lagoon’”, for lack of a better term, ners trying to hand you cards and into the hut. It was cooler than it where a replica British warship pamphlets advertising girls who sounds. This show had frequent engaged a pirate ship in a battle. “will come to you” and trucks with mechanical problems and was not This battle had British sailors and “Girls direct to you” cruising up working several times I was out pirate actors who unfurled sails, and down Las Vegas Boulevard. there. Eventually it was shut down climbed in the rigging, fired cannon complete with noise, smoke, Yeah that’s just a little of the for good. belching fire and the resultant weirdness of Vegas - but that’s the Up until around 2007 there were damage of the “cannon fire”. The subject of a future article. white tigers in a large glass fronted cannon fire flung debris, caused a What I want to talk about in this enclosure in the Mirage Hotel and fire, blew barrels into the water article is some of the cool things Casino. These tigers were visible as and caused pirates to fall from the (at least in my opinion) that are you entered or exited the South rigging into the water. It was a now gone from Vegas. I started side entrance of the Casino. These pretty good show with huge crowds going to Vegas in the mid-nineties white tigers were some of the per- lining up on the sidewalks and to attend a professional confer- formers in the magic act of viewing area in front of the casino ence (honest) and at that time it Siegfried and Roy. Tigers are to watch the performance. One of seemed like just about every casi- majestic creatures and these had a the highlights was as the British no had some type of gimmick or large pool to lounge in and they ship sank the Captain who went draw to try to get people if not would frequently be playing with a down with the ship. If you waited inside the casino at least in front of large plastic ball. The closeness of around the ship would emerge it. One example of this was the these large beautiful creatures from its’ watery grave and the “Dragon and Merlin the Wizard intensified by their white coloring Captain would spit a large stream show”. That was my name for it. I combined to make this one of my of water. I suspect he had a breatham unsure if it had an official favorite spots to just stand and ing apparatus on him or nearby. name. This show played out in a watch these cats in awe. Sometimes For unknown to me reasons the show was later changed to pirates fighting the British to the ‘Bullship” battling the “Sirens of TI”. I was not impressed with the new choreography nor was “Rocco”. Yes… that Rocco. Regular readers of the Enigma will know of whom I am talking. The first time we saw it we info@enigmaonline.com both agreed it was not anywhere P.O. Box 825 near as good as the former show. (423) 991-1657 Chattanooga, TN 37401 The new show has also been discontinued reportedly due to finanPaul E. Burke Sr. cial reasons. Publisher

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D.A. Weinthal. Editor-In-Chief David Huff Managing Editor Chris Eason Photo Editor Contributing Editors: Mark Haskins, Jim Sells, Mark Bedford. David N. Marks, William Alexander Founder: D.A. Weinthal Like us on Facebook • Follow us on Twitter @EnigmaMag www.enigmaonline.com ENIGMA

Another show/ draw/gimmick was the “Show In the Sky” which was performed at the Rio Casino. This was a really cool show where performers in sexy costumes were on floats that moved on tracks suspended from the casino roof. These floats moved lazily above the casino floor while performers flung beads a t the crowds below making it reminiscent of Mardi Gras. All this while accompanied by the pulsating music of recent hit songs. This show passed into history in 2013.

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For years during the daytime at the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino you could view lions in a large glass enclosure. This enclosure had natural looking rock areas for the lions to move about in and jump to and from. There was a walkway where the lions could lay above and you could walk below them while looking up through the Plexiglas. It was pretty wild being below a large lion. Trainers would come into the enclosure and bring balls for the lions to play with. The lions would interact and play with the trainers and other lions to the onlookers delight. A couple of years ago I went by where the enclosure was and the lions were gone. A worker there told us the cost of bringing the lions in from a ranch outside Vegas had become too prohibitive for the casino to continue exhibiting them. Thus passed another really good attraction. Sorry if I sound wistful but I am. Vegas is still a great place to visit. There is still glitter and glitz to be found in Vegas. The water shows at the Bellagio are great. There are delicious buffets and the people watching is incomparable. However to get a feel for the oldschool Vegas go down to Fremont Street where the casinos are smaller and a little seedier. This is where cars used to drive and sometimes even race down the street back in the day. Check out the movies “Viva Las Vegas” and “Diamonds are Forever” to see how it was done back then. It reminds one of the 50’s and 60’s and the Mob’s heyday here. Recently I heard that the Riviera is closing (the Beatles stayed there in the 60’s). I’ll miss it. Many of the old landmarks are disappearing fast while Vegas attempts to reinvent itself. I miss the ‘Tam ‘O Shanter that was a small two story type hotel across the street from Treasure Island. I miss the small mom and pop type stores that used to be sprinkled along the Strip selling cheap luggage, t-shirts, fanny packs, beer and porn. I miss the New Frontier, the Holiday Inn Boardwalk , the Barbary Coast (where Rocco played blackjack for hours) the Stardust and the Sahara Casinos. You can have the giant Ferris wheel and the new megacasinos. I really miss the lions, tigers and pirates...

- Mark Haskins 8


Dear Rocco, I was greatly bothered and offended by what that fraternity in Oklahoma was chanting especially in this day and age. How could they? Do they not know how offensive it was what they were saying? NL

IItt’’ss aa ccrraappss hhoooott.. IItt’’ss aa ttaaxx m maass qquuee rr -aaddeedd aass aa bbee nneeffiitt ffoorr yyoouu.. IIff yyoouu ddoo nnoott ss iiggnn uupp tthheeyy w wii llll ttaa kkee tthh aatt moonnee yy aaw m waa yy ffrroom m yyoouu rreeggaa rrddllee ssss .. UUss iinngg tthhaatt ““ttaa xx’’ aatt llee aass tt aallll oow wss yyoouu ttoo ““ ssaayy ”” w whh eerree yyoouurr ttaa xx ddoollll aarr ss aarr ee ssppeenntt.. AA ttaa xx ii ss aa ttaaxx.. W Whh eetthh eerr yyoouu aatt tthhii ss ppooii nntt nnee eedd hheeaa lltthh iinnssuurr aannccee iiss aa ttoottaa ll gguueess ss.. M Maannyy ddoonn’’tt.. II tt aall ll ddee ppeennddss oonn ggee nneettiiccss ,, llii ffeess ttyyllee aa nndd ootthhee rr ffaa ccttoorr ss.. SSoom mee m maayy nneevvee rr nneeeedd iitt aanndd tthhii ss ii ss m moorree oorr ll eess ss aannootthhee rr uussee llee ssss ttaaxx.. OO tthhee rrss nneeeedd tthhee iinnss uurr aannccee aa nndd ffoorr w whh aatteevvee rr rree aassoonn hhaaddnn’’tt ggootttteenn ii tt.. OO nnccee aaggaa iinn iitt’’ss ggoovvee rrnnm meenntt rr eeaarr iinngg ii ttss bbiigg uu ggllyy hhee aadd ii nnttoo oouurr bbuuss iinnee ssss aanndd ss ttiicckk iinngg iitt w w eeaarr ii tt ddooee ssnn’’tt rr aall llyy bbee lloonngg.. HHee llll oo GGee oorrggee OOrr w weell ll.. TT hhee oonnee ggoooodd aabboouutt OO bbaam maaccaarr ee ii ss ii tt nnoo lloonnggeerr m maattttee rrss ii ff yyoouu hh aavvee aa pprree eexx -iiss ttii nngg ccoonnddii ttii oonn aanndd ii nnssuurr aa nnccee ccoom mppaannii eess ccaann nnoo lloonnggeerr ccaannccee ll ccoovveerr aaggee bbeeccaa uuss ee ooff uuss ee.. TT hhaa tt’’ss ggoooodd ffoorr tthhooss ee w wii tthh ddii aabbeettee ss aa nndd ootthhee rr llii ffee tthhrr eeaattee nniinngg ccoonnddii ttii oonnss tthhaa tt ii nn tthhee ppaass tt w wee rree nnoott aallll oow weedd ttoo ss iiggnn uupp ffoorr ii nnssuurraa nnccee.. HH oow w eevvee rr tthhee oonnee tthhii nngg tthhaatt OO bbaa m maacc aarr ee ddooee ssnn’’tt aa ddddrr eess ss ii ss tthhii ss:: IItt ffoorrccee ss yyoouu w whhee tthhee rr yy oouu w waa nntt iitt oorr nnoott ttoo hhaa vvee iinnss uurraannccee .. IItt ddooee ssnn’’tt,, hhoow w eevv -eerr aaddddrr eess ss tthhee aacc ttuuaall ccoosstt ooff hhee aall tthhccaarr ee aa nndd hhoow w rraa tteess bbyy ccaarr ee -ggiivvee rrss ,, pphhaarr m maa cciiee ss aa nndd hhooss ppii ttaall ss aarr ee ss eett.. TT aakk ee aa ll ooookk aa tt tthhee ii tteem miizz aa -ttiioonn ooff aa ssttaa yy aatt tthhee hhoossppiittaa ll ssoom mee -ttiim mee.. II tt’’ss eennoouu gghh ttoo ppuutt yyoouu bbaa cckk iinnttoo tthhee hhoossppiittaa ll..

DDee aarr NN LL,, TT hhee yy’’rree ffrraa tt bbooyyss.. M Moosstt aarr ee ss ppooii llee dd iiddii oottss .. II m myyssee llff w w aass aa ffrraa tt bbooyy bbuu tt nneevvee rr ss aaiidd aannyytthhiinngg ooffffeennss iivvee ll iikk ee tthhaatt.. SSuurr ee,, w wee hh aadd ss oorr oorrii ttiieess ttaakk ee ppaarr tt ii nn hhoott ddoogg ee aattiinngg ccoonnttee ssttss aa nndd ss aanngg ddiirr ttyy ssoonnggss ttoo tthhee m m BBU UTT w wee nneevvee rr ddii dd aannyytthhiinngg ppaa ttee nnttllyy ooffffee nn-ss iivvee -- jj uuss tt jj uuvv eenniill ee aa nndd iinn bbaadd ttaa ssttee (( 2200// 2200 hhii nnddss iigghhtt)) .. TT rruutthh iiss bbooyyss wii llll bbee bbooyyss .. A w Anndd iinn ccooll lleeggee yyoouu ggeett rreebbee llll iioouuss.. SSoom mee ss m mookk ee ddooppee,, hhaavvee aall ll ss oorr ttss ooff w w eeiirr dd ss eexx – – ss oom mee -ttiim mee ss w wii tthh tthhee ssaa m mee ssee xx,, ddrrii nnkk iinnoorr ddii nnaattee aam moouunnttss ooff llii qquu oorr aa nndd eevv eenn ss tteeaa ll ssttoopp ss iiggnnss ffoorr eexxaa m mppll ee.. W hhii llee tthh ii ss iiss nnoott aa rr eeaa ll eexxccuu ss ee,, bbuu tt W tthheeyy hhaavvee pprr oobbaa bbll yy bbeeee nn ll eeccttuurree dd bbyy ee vveerr yyoonnee ffrr oom m tthhee iirr ppaarr eennttss ttoo tthheeiirr tteeaacchheerr ss ttoo jj uuss tt aabboouutt eevvee rryy cceell eebbrrii ttyy aabboouutt rr aacciiss m m – – oorr hhoow w bbaadd ii tt ii ss.. TThhee yy ss aaii dd ssoom meetthh ii nngg rree ggrree ttttaabbllee.. EEvveerr yyoonnee nnoo m maa tttteerr whh aatt ccoolloorr ,, ggeennddeerr ,, rree llii ggiioouu ss aaffffii llii -w aattii oonn –– w whh aattee vveerr hh aass ss aaii dd ss oom mee -tthhii nngg eexx ttrr eem mee llyy oobbjjee ccttii oonnaabbll ee iinnccll uuddii nngg oouurr ppaarr eennttss aanndd ee vveenn oouurr cciivv iicc ll eeaa ddee rrss .. W Woorr ddss aa rree oonnee tthh iinngg.. AAccttiioonnss aa rree aa nnootthheerr .. II w woouu lldd nnoott jj uuddggee tthheess ee gguuyyss ffoorr aa jj uuvveennii llee cchhaanntt bbuutt m moorree ooff hh oow w tthh eeyy llii vvee Dear Rocco, My best friend recently got a great tthheeiirr llii vveess .. promotion where he works. We work at the same company just difDear Rocco, Do you think Obamacare is a fail- ferent offices. The bad thing bout his good news is they are transferure? ring him across the country. It will GP be great not only for his career, but the money is great and he’ll get DDee aarr GG PP,, ENIGMA

to travel more. While I am happy lies as we are now vindicated. for him I feel like I’m losing my LS best friend. KH D eeaarr LLSS,, D DD eess ppii ttee yyoouurr ss oo--ccaallll eedd gglloorryy ccoonn-DDeeaa rr KKHH ,, ss iiddeerr tthhiiss .. M Muu ssccll ee aa nndd bbrraaw w nn w wii llll AAtt ss oom mee ppooiinntt w wee aallll hh aavvee ttoo ggrr oow w aa llw waa yyss bbee nneeee ddee dd ii nn ss oocciiee ttyy.. LLooookk uupp aanndd ddee aall w wiitthh tthhee rree aall w w oorr lldd.. II aa tt oouu rr m miill iittaarr yy.. SSuu rr ee w wee uu ssee ddrroonneess myyss eell ff hhaa dd m m myy bbeess tt ffrrii eenndd m moovv ee aa nndd ccoom mppuu tteerr ccoonnttrrooll lleedd w weeaa ppoonnss aaw waayy dduuee ttoo hh iiss jj oobb rr eeqquu iirr eem meennttss .. bbuu tt llii kkee w wii tthh ffiigghh ttiinngg II SSII SS tthh ee oonnll yy DDii ssttaannccee ddooeess nn’’tt m maakk ee aa ffrrii eenndd-- w w aayy ttoo w w iinn tthh ee w waa rr ii ss w wii tthh ““bboooottss sshhiipp.. LLooyy aallttyy,, rreess ppeecctt aanndd ll oovvee ddoo.. oonn tthhee ggrroouunndd”” .. IIrroonniiccaa llll yy iiff yyoouu Whh eetthh eerr tthh eeyy aa rree aa bbll oocckk aa w W waayy oorr ll ooookk aatt tthh ee pprr oobblleem mw w iitthh ccyybbeerr bbuull -tthhrr eeee ssttaa tteess aaw w aayy tthhee rree ii ss nnoo rree aa-- ll iiee ss ttooddaa yy,, w whh oo aa rree aa llll tthh eess ee ppeeoo-ssoonn w whhyy yy oouu w wii llll nnoo lloonnggeerr rreem maa iinn ppllee ?? CCyybbee rr ggee eekk ss w whh oo aarr ee nnoo pphh yyss -bbee sstt ffrrii eennddss.. AA nndd w wii tthh tthh ee hh iigghh ii ccaall llyy m maann oorr w woom maann ee nnoouu gghh ttoo ttee cchh w w oorr lldd w wee llii vvee ii nn ttooddaayy yyoouu ccaa ss ttaanndd uu pp ttoo ppeeooppll ee ffaaccee ttoo ffaaccee aanndd lliittee rraa llll yy ttaa llkk ffaa ccee ttoo ffaaccee vvii aa yyoouurr hhiiddee bbeehhiinndd tthheeiirr ggee eekk tteecchh ddeevvii cceess pphhoonnee,, ttaabbll eett aanndd ccoom mppuuttee rr.. YYoouu m maakk iinngg tthhee m m ee vveenn m moorr ee ddaannggeerr oouu ss maa yy nnoott bbee aa bbll ee ttoo sshh aarr ee aa bbeeeerr tthh aann aa pphh yyss iiccaall llyy ll aarrggee bbuu llll yy w m w hhoo iiss ttooggee tthhee rr aall ll tthhee ttiim mee bbuu tt yyoouu w wii llll ppeerr ssoonnaall llyy aaccccoouunnttaa bbll ee ffoorr tthhee iirr nnoo ll oonnggee rr bbee ss ttuucckk w wii tthh tthh ee ttaabb aa ccttii oonnss bbyy aall ll ooff ssoocciiee ttyy w w iitthh oouu tt aa whhee nn tthh eeyy w w waall kk ooffff w wii tthhoouu tt ppaayyii nngg.. ccyybbeerr nneett ttoo hh iiddee bbeehh iinndd.. UUss ee tthhee cchhaa nnggee ii nn ss ccee nneerr yy ttoo eexxppaa nndd yy oouurr ffrr iiee nndd bbaa ss ee aanndd Rocco is a common sense, tell-itrree m meem mbbee rr yy oouu rr bbee ss tt ffrrii ee nndd iiss like-it-is, no-nonsense kind of guy aallw w aayyss oonnll yy aa rrooaadd ttrrii pp aaw waa yy.. II tt offering real advice on any subject wiill ll aall ssoo m w maa kkee yyoouu aa pppprr eeccii aattee yyoouurr put before him. Why pay thouttii m meess ttooggeetthh eerr m moorree w w hhee nn yyoouu ddoo sands of dollars on a high-priced ggee tt ttooggee tthhee rr iinn ppeerrss oonn.. therapist when he’ll straighten you out for free. If you’d like advice Dear Rocco, from Rocco e-mail him at goaskrocBeing a nerd, I think it is great that co@yahoo.com or drop him a line we have risen to the top to rule the at Ask Rocco c/o Enigma P.O. Box world and break free from our bul- 825 Chattanooga, TN 37401.

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SUNDERLAND, England (UPI) Security camera footage from a British restaurant recorded the moment a man set his pet rat on the ground in an attempt to scam a free meal. Christopher Baker, 28, pleaded guilty in Sunderland Magistrates’ Court to a charge of fraud by false representation after he released his pet rat at the Borneo Bistro in Sunderland, England, on Valentine’s Day and demanded a refund for his meal.

Kevin Smith, the restaurant’s owner, said he reviewed security footage after noticing the black and white rat seemed suspiciously clean and tame. “Mr. Smith perhaps smelled a rat at this particular point and he retrieved the rat from the floor. It was a black and white rat, very calm. It did not appear to be wild at all. Acorn Pest Control attended and they said it appeared to be a pet,” prosecutor Lee Poppett said. “Mr. Smith viewed the CCTV and saw the defendant fiddling in his pocket. He waited until a family moved

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from the table next to him and retrieved what appeared to be a rat from his pocket and dropped it on the floor. He then jumped out of his seat.” The court heard Baker later told police the rat was a gift for his daughter and had bitten his finger and escaped his pocket accidentally. Smith had harsh words for Baker after the trial. “He is just the scum of the earth,” Smith told the Sunderland Echo. “He could have destroyed the reputation I have built up over seven years. I was devastated. I thought ‘that’s it my business is gone.’ I

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didn’t sleep that night.” “People like him deserve the death penalty. As far as I’m concerned, he shouldn’t be in our society,” Smith said. “He is no use to anybody and he’s caused nothing but grief. I find it unbelievable that someone could be willing to go to those lengths for a free meal.” NEW YORK (UPI) - A former Home Depot employee says the company fired him over a tattoo of his exgirlfriend’s name — “Isis,” a name


derived from a fabled Egyptian goddess. The letters of the innerlip tattoo are written in capitalized form — “ISIS” — giving it the exact spelling of an acronym used to reference the Islamic State, also known as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, a terrorist army of Sunni Muslim extremists who seized large swaths of land last year and publicized several beheadings of Westerners. “I honestly didn’t know what the acronym meant until just recently,” Kirk Soccorsco told CNN affiliate News 12 Long Island. While working as a Home Depot tool demonstrator in Patchogue, N.Y., Soccorsco said, he overheard the term during a conversation and showed his tattoo to a co-worker. Home Depot and the Florida marketing firm that paid Soccorsco fired him soon after. Soccorsco said both entities told him not to return to the store. Home Depot spokesman Stephen Holmes told News 12 that the termination was “a personnel matter and the decision wasn’t just based on the tattoo.” Soccorsco contends that he is not a terrorist and that he got the tattoo four years ago. He said he is no longer with the woman whose name is depicted. “I feel a little lost,” he said. “It was a goodpaying job.” Soccorsco is reportedly considering legal action against Home Depot.

are drying up, they are almost never talking about the adult entertainment industry. Particularly prostitution. While prostitution is only legal in a very small part of the U.S., in other parts of the world it is much more widely accepted and main stream. Germany, for example, where legalized prostitution is such an industry, brothels are now advertising for quality control testers to check the standards of their services. That’s right; professional ‘johns’. The brothel in the German capital Berlin is looking for both men and women to check quality, cleanliness, and safe sex practices - and to see that their brothels offer value for money. According to the advertisement the job is for an international company with more than 120 workers in Germany, China and Spain. The ad claims to want people with a university degree, preferably a degree in business, experience with brothels, and a full health certificate. The ad says: “Practical experience with many years of brothel visits necessary. You should enjoy having fun with people and you should not be afraid of contact.”

FREMANTLE, Australia (UPI) - An Australian woman was denied bail after she allegedly squirted breast milk on a police officer’s head, arms and clothes. Authorities said BERLIN - When they say that job Erica Leeder, 26, of Calista, opportunities for young people Western Australia, was being

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searched Tuesday at the Fremantle police station after being arrested on an unspecified warrant. Police said Leeder, who was nude from the waist up during the search, grabbed her own breast and squirted milk onto the forehead, arms and clothes of the female officer conducting the search. Leeder appeared Wednesday in Fremantle Magistrate’s Court on a charge of assaulting a public officer. She was denied bail and ordered to undergo a mental health evaluation prior to her next court appearance March 31. The magistrate said a previous conviction for assaulting a police officer factored into the decision to deny bail. The Western Australia Police Union said the assault charge from Tuesday’s incident was partially due to the possibility of spreading disease from the breast milk. MELBOURNE (UPI) - Activists are criticizing the National Disability Summit in Australia after a speaker had to be carried on stage because the venue wasn’t wheelchair accessible. Jarrod Marrinon, who attended the conference organized by Informa Australia in Melbourne last week, tweeted a picture showing Deborah Haygarth, a speaker at the event, being carried off the stage because the venue was not wheelchair accessible. “This is a disabled speaker carried off stage. No ramps. #shame,” he tweeted. Marrinon took another photo

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showing the disabled restroom at the conference was out of use because it was being used to store extra chairs. Jax Jacki Brown, a disabled rights activist who also attended the conference, said only seven disabled people and their five carers were invited to participate in the conference, which had a total 133 attendees. “I feel like I was actively excluded when they realized I was a person with a disability wanting to attend, and I also feel rather annoyed that they said that they were going to give the remaining tickets to people with disabilities so that more than 12 people with disabilities could attend,” Brown told 9News. “But that never eventuated.” “They positioned us at special little tables away from where everyone else was sitting ... way off to the right and the left further up the back of the room,” Brown said. “It really created this feeling that people with disabilities weren’t part of the bigger conference and the bigger discussion.” Brown said in a blog post that there were other accessibility issues at the event. “The food provided was up on really tall tables... wheelchair users could not access it,” she said. Susan Ryan, disability discrimination commissioner at the Australian Human Rights Commission, said on Twitter the organizers of the event have been contacted “regarding the accessibility issues.”


This week’s calendar covers events from Thursday, April 2, through Wednesday, April 8. We would be happy to publish your free listing in future Billboards, space permitting. Simply mail us the information so that we have it 7 days before the publication date. A photograph may be sent with the announcement. Send information to: Calendar Editor, Enigma, P.O. Box 825, Chattanooga, TN 37401 or e-mail to calendar@enigmaonline.com. All dates subject to change without notice.

TT H HU U RRSSD DA AYY A Apprriill 22 TTH H EE CCO OM MEED D YY CCA ATT CC H H (Chattanooga) GR Goodwin BBU UD D’’ SS (Chattanooga) DJ Hammer TTRREE M MO ON NTT TT A AVVEE RRN N (Chattanooga) Songwriters Showcase CCA AM M PP H HO OU USSEE (Chattanooga) Open Mic ARRII’’SS H A HA ARRBBO ORR LLIIG GH H TT SS (Chattanooga) Keyz Brown IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Mat Kearney TTEE M MPPTT (Murfreesboro, TN) EOTO, Ill.Gates

FFRRIID DA AYY A Apprriill 33

MO M ON ND DA AYY A Apprriill 66 TTRREE M MO ON N TT TTAAVVEE RRN N (Chattanooga) Trivia Night TTH H EE O O FFFFIICC EE (Chattanooga) SpeakEasy FFO OXX && H HO OU UN ND D (Chattanooga) DJ Exphacter GRRAAN G ND DO OLL EE O O PPRRYY H HO OU U SSEE (Nashville) Alt-J RRYY M MAA N N AAU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Dave Chappelle CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NAASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Lee Ann Womack

TTU U EESSD DA AYY A Apprriill 77 TTRREE M MO ON N TT TTAAVVEE RRN N (Chattanooga) Open Mic w/ Mike McDade BBRRIID DG GEE SSTT O ON NEE AARREEN N AA (Nashville) Stevie Wonder CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NAASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Lee Ann Womack

WEE D W DN NEESSD DA AYY A Apprriill 88

TTH H EE CCO OM MEED D YY CCA ATT CC H H (Chattanooga) Red Man RRA AW W (Chattanooga) DJ Barnaby RRH HYY TT H HM M && BBRREE W WSS (Chattanooga) The Beaters IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) The War on Drugs, Hop Along EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Chris Knight FFO O XX TTH H EEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) Kid Ink, Jeremih, Dej Loaf VVEERRIIZZO ON NW W IIRREELLEE SSSS A AM M PPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPA ARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Chris Tomlin

SSA ATT U URRD DA AYY A Apprr iill 44 TTH H EE CCO OM MEED D YY CCA ATT CC H H (Chattanooga) Red Man RRH HYY TT H HM M && BBRREE W WSS (Chattanooga) The Velcro Pygmies CCH HA ASSTT A AIIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Alt-J JJEEN NN NIIEE A AN ND D EERRSSO ON N TTH H EEA ATT RREE (Marietta, GA) The Osmond Brothers RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Mat Kerney CCA AN NN NEE RRYY BBA ALLLL RRO OO OM M (Nashville) Delta Spirit, Avid Dancer CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Ron Sexsmith

SSU UN ND DA AYY A Apprriill 55 SSK KYY ZZO OO O (Chattanooga) DJ Exphacter RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Charles Esten, Fairfield Four, Francesca Battistelli, Jason Crabb, The McCrary Sisters TTH H EE FF O ORRG G EE (Birmingham) Defeater, Capsize,

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Better Off, Hotel Books

RRAAW W (Chattanooga) Open Jam LLA ASS M MAARRG G AARRIITT AA’’SS (Chattanooga) Priscilla & Little Rickee TTH H EE TT AAVVEERRN N (Soddy-Daisy) Roberts & Sims SSCCH H EERRM M EERRH HO O RRN N SS YYM M PPH HO ON NYY CC EEN NTT EE RR (Nashville) Cassandra Wilson FFRRA AN NK KLLII N N TT H HEE AATTRREE (Franklin, TN) Billy Bob Thornton and The Boxmasters

U PPCC O U OM MIIN NG G EEVVEEN NTT SS SSCCH H EERRM M EERRH HO O RRN N SS YYM M PPH HO ON NYY CC EEN NTT EE RR (Nashville) Bernadette Peters April 9 TTH H EE W WAARREE H HO OU USSEE (Clarksville, TN) Orgy April 9 HEEAAVVEE N H N AATT TT H HEE M MAASSQ QU UEE RRAAD DEE (Atlanta) Coal Chamber, Filter, Combichrist, American Head Charge April 9 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Amanda Palmer April 9 SSA AM MM MYY TT ’’SS (Huntsville) Aaron Lewis April 9 TTH H EE CC LLAASSSSII CC CC EEN N TT EERR (Athens, GA) The Mavericks April 9 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) The Decemberists April10 SSCCH H EERRM M EERRH HO O RRN N SS YYM M PPH HO ON NYY CC EEN NTT EE RR (Nashville) Bernadette Peters April 10 Mic TTH H EE EE N ND D (Nashville) Five Eight, Harrison And The High Score April 10 WO W ORRK KPPLLAAYY TT H HEE AATTRREE (Birmingham) Amanda Palmer April 10 RRH H YY TTH HM M && BBRREE W WSS (Chattanooga) Glass Hammer April 11 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) The Decemberists, Alvvays April 11

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VVIIN NYY LL (Atlanta) Matt Pond PA April 11 SSCC H H EERRM MEE RRH HO O RRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CCEE N NTT EERR (Nashville) Bernadette Peters April 11 TT EEM M PPTT (Murfreesboro) Datsik April 11 FF RRA AN NK KLLIIN N TT H HEEAATT RREE (Franklin, TN) Lynda Carter April 11 BBRRIID DG GEESS TTO ON NEE AARREEN N AA (Nashville) Alan Jackson, Jeff Foxworthy, Jon Pardi April 11 LLA AU U RREELL TT H HEE AATT RREE (Knoxville) RB Morris April 11 TT H HEE CC O OM M EED DYY CC AATT CCH H (Chattanooga) Tom Green April 13 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) The Decemberists April 13 TT EERRM M IIN NAALL W W EESSTT (Atlanta) The Ting Tings April 13 TT RRA ACCK K 2299 (Chattanooga) Hannibal Buress April 14 BBU UCC K KH H EEAAD D TTH H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) Ok Go, White Arrows April 14 4400 W WAATTTT CC LLU UBB (Athens, GA) Delta Spirit April 14 G RRAAN G ND DO OLLEE O OPPRRYY H HO OU USS EE (Nashville) Florida Georgia Line April 14 TT H HEE IIN N TTEE RRN NAATT IIO ON N AALL (Knoxville) Hinder April 14 TT RRA ACCK K 2299 (Chattanooga) Chase Rice April 15 SSLL U UG GG GO O’’ SS N NO ORRTT H H (Chattanooga) Divers April 15 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Tesla April 15 VVIIN NYY LL (Atlanta) Civil Twilight April 15 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Primus April 15 TT RRA ACCK K 2299 (Chattanooga) Jason Isbell April 16 RRH H YYTT H HM M && BBRREEW W SS (Chattanooga) Hinder April 16 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Zappa Plays Zappa April 16 TT H HEE EEAARRLL (Atlanta) Jon Spencer Blues Explosion April 16 EE D DD DII EE’’ SS AATT TTIICC (Atlanta) Ari Hest April 16 TT H HEE 112200 TT AAVVEERRN N (Marietta, GA) Faster Pussycat April 16 ZZ A AN NIIEE’’ SS (Nashville) “Jay And Silent Bob Get Old” April 16 TT RRA ACCK K 2299 (Chattanooga) SoMo April 17 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Joel McHale April 17 CC IITT YY W WIIN NEE RRYY N N AASSH H VVIILL LLEE (Nashville) Delbert McClinton April 17 CC O OTT TT O ON N EEYY EED D JJO O EE’’ SS (Knoxville) Jamey Johnson April 17 CC O OM M EED D YY CCLLU U BB AATT TTH H EE SS TTA ARRD DO OM M EE (Birmingham) Carlos Mencia April 17 BBO O TTTT LLEETT RREEEE (Birmingham) Jon Spencer Blues Explosion April 17 ZZ YYD D EECC O O (Birmingham) Hinder April 17 4400 W WAATTTT CC LLU UBB (Athens, GA) Foxygen April 17 CC EEN N TTEE N NN N IIAALL O O LLYYM M PPIICC PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Snoop Dogg, Thievery Corporation, Cold War Kids, Beats Antique, Aer, Big Data, Black Tiger Sex Machine, Black Boots, Eliot Lipp, Rory Scovel April 17 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Dave Chappelle April 17 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Hot Tuna April 17 VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WIIRREE LLEESSSS AAM MPPH HII TTH H EEA ATT RREE A ATT EE N NCC O ORREE PPAARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Bryan Adams April 17 BBJJCC CC CC O ON N CCEE RRTT H H AALLLL (Birmingham) Roberta Flack April 18 CC O OM M EED D YY CCLLU U BB AATT TTH H EE SS TTA ARRD DO OM M EE (Birmingham) Carlos Mencia April 18


VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Zappa Plays Zappa April 18 FFO O XX TT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Jeff Foxworthy April 18 CC EEN N TTEE N NN NII AALL O OLL YYM M PPIICC PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Cage The Elephant, Primus, Gov’t Mule, Anders Osborne, The Wood Brothers, Marc Broussard, The Floozies, MarchFourth Marching Band, David Heartbreak, Late Night Radio, Louis The Child, Modern Measure, DJ Triz, Rory Scovel April 18 TT H HEE EEAARRLL (Atlanta) Diarrhea Planet, Left & Right April 18 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Dave Chappelle April 18 TT EERRM MII N NAALL W WEE SSTT (Atlanta) Break Science April 18 JJA AM M EESS K K .. PPO OLLK K TTH H EEAATT RREE (Nashville) Frank Caliendo, George Canter April 18 NAASS H N HVVIILLLLEE M MU UN NIICC IIPPAALL AAU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Eddie Money April 18 MEE RRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Jon Spencer Blues Explosion April 18 GRRIIM G M EEYY ’’SS (Nashville) Those Darlins April 18 RRH HYY TT H HM M && BBRREEW WSS (Chattanooga) Denny Laine April 19 SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY H H AALLLL (Atlanta) Diana Krall April 19 CC EEN N TTEE N NN NII AALL O OLL YYM M PPIICC PPAARRK K (Atlanta) The London Souls, The Wailers, 311, Moe., Slightly Stoopid, Delta Rae, The Revivalists, Kyle Hollingsworth, Red Wanting Blue, Anna Lunoe, Plastic Plates, Cassian, Tropicool, Rory Scovel, Joe Pettis April 19 AN A ND D RREEW W JJ AACCK K SSO ON NH HAALL LL (Nashville) Anjelah Johnson April 19 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON NEE AARREE N NAA (Nashville) Kevin Hart April 19 TT EEN NN NEESS SSEEEE TTH H EEAATT RREE (Knoxville) Bill Burr April 19 VVO ON N BBRRAAU UN N CCEE N NTT EERR (Huntsville) Eddie Money April 19 TT RRA ACCK K 22 99 (Chattanooga) Bill Burr April 20 ALLYY SS RRO A O BBII N NSSO ON N SSTT EE PPH HEEN N SS CC EEN N TTEE RR (Birmingham) Diana Krall April 20 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Diana Krall April 21 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Sleater-Kinney April 21 BBU UCC K KH HEE AAD D TT H H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) Matt & Kim April 21 GEE O G ORRG G IIAA TT H HEE AATTRREE (Athens, GA) Peter Hook April 21 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Breaking Benjamin, Young Guns April 21 ALLAABBAAM A MAA TTH H EEAATT RREE (Birmingham) Dave Chapelle April 21 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Halestorm, The Pretty Reckless April 22 CC A AN NN N EERRYY BBAALLLLRRO OO OM M (Nashville) Testament, Exodus, Shattered Sun April 22 GEE O G ORRG G IIAA TT H HEE AATTRREE (Athens, GA) Tyler, The Creator April 22 MAARRAATT H M HO ON NM MU USS IICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Sleater-Kinney April 23 MO M O RRTTO ON N TTH H EEAATT RREE (Athens, GA) Christopher Titus April 23 TT H HEE AARREEN N AA AATT G GW WIIN NN NEE TTTT CC EEN N TT EERR (Atlanta) The Who, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts April 23 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Halestorm, The Pretty Reckless April 23 TT H HEE M MAASSQ QU UEE RRAAD D EE (Atlanta) Testament, Exodus, Shattered Sun April 23 TT EERRM MII N NAALL W WEE SSTT (Atlanta) Small Pools, Grizfolk April 23

3377 M MA AIIN N (Buford, GA) Aaron Lewis April 23 TTU U SSCC A ALLO OO O SSA AA AM M PPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE (Tuscaloosa, AL) Needtobreathe, Ben Rector, Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors, Colony House April 23 CCH HA AN NA AU UD DIITT O O RRII U UM M (Huntsville) Christopher Titus April 24 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Slayer April 24 EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Elizabeth Cook April 24 FFO O XX TTH H EEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) Bob Dylan April 24 MA M ASSQ QU UEE RRA AD D EE M MU USSIICC PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Cartel, Hit The Lights, Team*, Driver Friendly April 24 TTH H EE IIN NTT EERRN NA ATTIIO ON NA ALL (Knoxville) Testament, Exodus, Shattered Sun April 24 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Joan Armatrading April 25 CCO O BBBB EEN N EERRG G YY PPEE RRFFO O RRM M IIN NG GA ARRTT SS CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Rodney Carrington April 25 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) Walk the Moon, The Griswolds April 25 TTH H EE M MA ASSQ QU UEERRA AD D EE (Atlanta) Dance Gavin Dance, Polyphia, Hail The Sun, Stolas April 25 PPH HIILLII PPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Morgan Page April 25 FFRREED D RRIICC K KSS EEQ QU UIIPPM M EEN N TT (Decatur, AL) .38 Special April 25 VVO ON N BBRRA AU UN N CC EEN N TTEE RR (Huntsville) Chicago April 26 MA M ARRK K CC .. SSM M IITTH H CC O ON N CCEE RRTT H HA ALLLL (Huntsville) Bill Burr April 26 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Marilyn Manson April 26 3377 M MA AIIN N (Buford, GA) Queensrÿche April 26 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Ryan Adams April 27 AN A ND D RREEW W JJ A ACCK KSS O ON NH HA ALLLL (Nashville) Bob Dylan April 27 FFO O XX TTH H EEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) Death Cab For Cutie, The Antlers April 27 MEE M M MO ORRIIA ALL A AU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Chattanooga) Chicago April 28 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Five Finger Death Punch April 28 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Ryan Adams April 28 EEXXIITT //II N N (Nashville) Peter Hook April 28 WA W ARR M MEE M MO O RRIIA ALL A AU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) The Offspring April 28 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Halestorm, The Pretty Reckless April 28 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) Godsmack April 28 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) In This Moment, Butcher Babies, Upon A Burning Body April 29 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Death Cab for Cutie, The Antlers April 29 SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY H HA ALLLL (Atlanta) Joan Armatrading April 29 TTH H EE M MA ASSQ QU UEERRA AD D EE (Atlanta) Earl Sweatshirt April 29 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) The Offspring April 29 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Dirty Heads April 30 TTU U SSCC A ALLO OO O SSA AA AM M PPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE (Tuscaloosa) Boston, Kansas April 30 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Keb’ Mo’ May 1 MIILLLLEE RR PPLLA M AZZA A (Chattanooga) “Nightfall Concert Series” John & Jacob May 1 CCO O BBBB EEN N EERRG G YY PPEE RRFFO O RRM M IIN NG GA ARRTT SS CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Lewis Black May 1 FFO O XX TTH H EEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) Steve Winwood May

ENIGMA

1 SSCCRRU U FFFFYY CC IITT YY H H AALLLL (Knoxville) The Features May 1 TTIIVVO O LLII TT H HEE AATTRREE (Chattanooga) Lewis Black May 2 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Breaking Benjamin May 2 CCO O BBBB EEN NEE RRG GYY PPEE RRFF O ORRM M IIN NG G AARRTT SS CC EEN NTT EERR (Atlanta) Bill Cosby May 2 VVEE RRIIZZO ON NW WIIRREE LLEESSSS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEEAATT RREE AATT EEN NCC O ORREE PPAARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Doobie Brothers, Don Felder May 2 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) The Robert Cray Band May 2 UN U NIIVVEE RRSS IITTYY O O FF AALLAABBAAM M AA (Tuscaloosa) Steve Winwood May 2 OAAK O KM MO OU UN NTT AAIIN N AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE (Pelham, AL) Slipknot, Hatebreed May 2 TTEE N NN NEE SSSSEE EE TT H HEE AATTRREE (Knoxville) Lewis Black May 3 TTH H EE IIN N TT EERRN NAATT IIO ON NAALL (Knoxville) Papa Roach, We Are Harlot May 3 TTH H EE W WO OO OD D SS AATT FFO ON NTT AAN N EELL (Whites Creek, TN) John Fogerty May 3 IIRRO ON N CCIITT YY (Birmingham) The Used, Chevelle, Marmozets May 4 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Yelawolf, Hillbilly Casino May 5 EEXXIITT //IIN N (Nashville) The Kooks May 5 WAARR M W MEE M MO ORRIIAA LL AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) The Used, Chevelle, Marmozets May 5 KN K NO O XXVVIILL LLEE CC O OLL IISSEEIIU UM M (Knoxville) Slipknot, Hatebreed May 5 BBIIJJ O OU U TTH H EEAATT RREE (Knoxville) Jason Bonham’s Led Zeppelin Experience May 5 TTEE N NN NEE SSSSEE EE TT H HEE AATTRREE (Knoxville) Rick Springfield May 5 IIRRO ON N CCIITT YY (Birmingham) Five Finger Death Punch May 5 ALLAABBAA M A MAA TT H HEE AATTRREE (Birmingham) Hozier May 6 IIRRO ON N CCIITT YY (Birmingham) Pixies May 6 GEEO G O RRG GIIAA TTH H EEAATT RREE (Athens, GA) Zappa Plays Zappa May 6 MAARRAATT H M HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Earl Sweatshirt May 6 MAARRAATT H M HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Zappa Plays Zappa May 7 SSCCH H EERRM M EERRH HO O RRN N SS YYM M PPH HO ON NYY CC EEN NTT EE RR (Nashville) Kenny G May 7 KN K NO O XXVVIILL LLEE CC O OLL IISSEEU UM M (Knoxville) Needtobreathe, Ben Rector, Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors, Colony House May 7 TTH H EE EE AARRLL (Atlanta) Peelander-Z May 7 MIILLLLEE RR PPLLAAZZAA (Chattanooga) “Nightfall M Concert Series” Dusty 45s May 8 CCH H AASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Hozier May 8 CCEE N NTT RRAALL PPAARRK K (Atlanta) “Shaky Knees Music Festival” Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds, Mastodon, Clutch, The Both - Aimee Mann and Ted Leo, Two Gallants, Blank Range May 8 SSCCH H EERRM M EERRH HO O RRN N SS YYM M PPH HO ON NYY CC EEN NTT EE RR (Nashville) Kenny G May 8 TTH H EE IIN N TT EERRN NAATT IIO ON NAALL (Knoxville) Marilyn Manson May 8 IIRRO ON N CCIITT YY (Birmingham) Ani DiFranco May 8 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Marilyn Manson May 9 ZZIIG GG G YY ’’SS U UN ND D EERRG GRRO OU UN ND D (Chattanooga) Pains Chapel, All Or Nothin’, Never Surrender May 9 JJEEN NN NIIEE AAN ND D EERRSSO ON N TT H HEE AATT RREE (Marietta, GA) Mickey Gilley May 9 CCEE N NTT RRAALL PPAARRK K (Atlanta) “Shaky Knees

APRIL 2 2015

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APRIL 2

GR GOODWIN

ONE OF CHATTANOOGA'S FAVORITE HOMEGROWN COMEDIANS, G.R. GOODWIN IS ONE OF THE HOTTEST TRUE COMICS IN THE BUSINESS TODAY. HIS UNIQUE STYLE HAS BEEN DESCRIBED AS, "LOTS OF ENERGY, WITH LITTLE MOVEMENT; INTIMATELY INTIMIDATING."

APRIL 3&4

ROD MAN

BEST KNOWN AS THE WINNER OF LAST COMIC STANDING SEASON 8, COMEDIAN ROD MAN IS TRULY A GEM IN THE WORLD OF STANDUP COMEDY TODAY. HIS UNIQUE DELIVERY AND VOICE CAPTURE THE ATTENTION OF AUDIENCES. THROW IN HIS LAID BACK STYLE, SOUTHERN CHARM, WIT, AND ABILITY TO FIND THE FUNNY IN EVERYDAY LIFE, AND YOU HAVE THE INGREDIENTS FOR A FUTURE COMEDY STAR IN THE MAKING.

APRIL 10-13

JOSH PHILLIPS

WORKING THROUGH OUT THE COUNTRY JOSH IS LOVED EVERYWHERE HE PERFORMS, ESPECIALY HERE AT THE COMEDY CATCH. JOSH HAS QUICKLY BECOME ONE OF CHATTANOOGA'S NEW FAVORITE COMEDIANS. OUT OF OAKRIDGE, TN HE HAS BEEN VISITING THE THE COMEDY CATCH SEVERAL TIMES A YEAR TO AUDIENCES WHO LOVE HIM. HIS "CUCHEY FRUIT" BIT HAS BECOME A STAPLE IN TENNESSEE.

APRIL 14

TOM GREEN

TOM GREEN SPARKED A TV REVOLUTION WITH HIS HIT MTV COMEDY SERIES "THE TOM GREEN SHOW." ONE OF MTV’S TOPRATED PROGRAMS, "THE TOM GREEN SHOW" PAVED THE WAY FOR SHOWS LIKE "JACKASS," "PUNK’D" AND "FEAR FACTOR. WITH ITS GUERRILLA VIDEO TACTICS AND OUTRAGEOUS STUNTS, IT WAS UNLIKE ANYTHING THAT HAD BEEN SEEN BEFORE. TOM WENT ON TO PRODUCE, DIRECT AND STAR IN SEVERAL FILMS. HE APPEARED IN SUCH BLOCKBUSTERS AS "ROAD TRIP" AND "CHARLIE’S ANGELS," AS WELL AS THE CULT CLASSICS "FREDDY GOT FINGERED," "STEALING HARVARD," AND "BOB THE BUTLER."

APRIL 17-19

JAKE GULLEDGE

TRAVELING ON THE ROAD FOR 20 PLUS YEARS HAS ALLOWED JAKE TO SEE AND EXPERIENCE AUDIENCES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. WITH A UNIQUE APPROACH TO USING HUMOROUS STORIES AND AN R&B VOCAL STYLE IN CONTEMPORARY COMEDY, JAKE IS SET APART. HE HAS THE ABILITY TO REACH MULTIPLE GENRES BECAUSE OF THE HUMOR HE ADDS - IT BREAKS WALLS DOWN. HE CURRENTLY TRAVELS WITH NOTED AND FAMED COMEDIAN HENRY CHO AS A FEATURE ACT PLAYING COMEDY CLUBS SUCH THE PUNCHLINE IN ATLANTA TO ZANIES IN NASHVILLE, AS WELL AS CORPORATE FUNCTIONS AND CHURCHES. THE COMEDY IS ALWAYS BILLED AS CLEAN AND FAMILY FRIENDLY!

APRIL 24-27

TONY TONE

TONY TONE A/K/A TONY LUEWELLYN IS A VETERAN COMEDIAN/ACTOR WHO FOR THE LAST 17 YEARS HAS SET THE MOOD FOR CONTINUOUS ENTERTAINMENT WITH HIS MASTERY OF IMPRESSIONS AND REAL LIFE HUMOR. TONY TONE HAS APPEARED ON HBO'S “DEF COMEDY JAM,” BET'S “COMIC VIEW,” “BYRON ALLEN'S COMICS UNLEASHED,” NBC'S “LATER”, “JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE” AND MORE. HE HAS ALSO SHARED THE STAGE WITH OTHER RESPECTED COMEDIANS INCLUDING BILL BELLAMY, DAVE CHAPPELLE, EDDIE GRIFFIN, CHRIS TUCKER, CHRIS ROCK, ADELE GIVENS, STEVE HARVEY,JOHNWITHERSPOON, TOMMY DAVIDSON, BERNI MAC AND CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER JUST TO NAME A FEW. FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS TONY TONE SERVED AS RINGMASTER FOR THE HISTORIC UNIVERSOUL CIRCUS, ALSO KNOWN AS “HIP-HOP UNDER THE BIG TOP,” ALLOWING HIM TO SHOWCASE HIS COMEDIC TALENTS TO AN ENTIRE NEW AUDIENCE.

FOR UPDATES, DISCOUNTS AND FREE TICKETS, TEXT COMEDYCATCH TO 99000

3223 BRAINERD RD.423.622.2233 WWW.THECOMEDYCATCH.COM


Music Festival” Interpol, The Both - Aimee Mann and Ted Leo May 9 ARREEN A N AA AATT G GW W IIN NN NEE TT TT CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) John Fogerty May 9 SSCC H HEE RRM MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CC EE N NTT EERR (Nashville) Kenny G May 9 TT H HEE SSH HEE D D (Maryville, TN) Jason Isbell May 9 VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WIIRREELLEE SSSS AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) ZZ Top, Jeff Beck May 10 CC EEN NTT RRAALL PPAARRK K (Atlanta) “Shaky Knees Music Festival” The Both - Aimee Mann and Ted Leo, The Damnwells, Xavier Rudd, The Mowgli’s May 10 TT U USSCC AALLO OO OSSAA AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE (Tuscaloosa) John Fogerty May 10 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON NEE AARREEN NAA (Nashville) The Who May 11 CC IITT YY W WII N NEERRYY N N AASSH HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Ed Kowalczyk May 11 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Ani DiFranco May 11 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Ed Kowalczyk May 12 TT EERRM MII N NAALL W WEE SSTT (Atlanta) Primal Scream May 12 BBIIJJO OU U TT H HEE AATT RREE (Knoxville) Jenny Lewis May 12 PPH HII LLIIPPSS AARREEN N AA (Atlanta) Bette Midler May 13 GEE O G ORRG G IIAA TT H HEE AATTRREE (Athens, GA) Jenny Lewis May 13 EEXXIITT // IIN N (Nashville) Blue October May 13 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Pat Benatar & Neil Giraldo May 13 MIILL LLEERR PPLLAAZZ AA (Chattanooga) “Nightfall M

Concert Series” San Fermin May 15 WO W OLL FF CC RREEEEK KA AM MPPH H IITTH H EEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) 2 Live Crew May 15 TTH H EE M MA ASSQ QU UEERRA AD D EE (Atlanta) Ministry May 15 SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY H HA ALLLL (Atlanta) Butch Walker May 15 GEE O G ORRG G IIA A TT H HEEA ATT RREE (Athens, GA) My Morning Jacket May 15 KSSU K U SSPPO ORRTT SS A AN ND D EE N NTT EERRTT A AIIN NM M EEN N TT PPAA RRK K (Kennesaw, GA) “Shaky Boots Music Festival” Blake Shelton, Dierks Bentley, The Band Perry, Dwight Yoakam, Jason Isbell, Kip Moore, Joe Nichols, Jana Kramer, The Devil Makes Three, The Whiskey Gentry, Kristian Bush, Amanda Shires, The Railers 16 VVEERRIIZZO ON NW W IIRREELLEE SSSS A AM M PPPPH H IITT H HEE AATTRREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPA ARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Needtobreathe May 16 SSM MO OK KYY M MO OU UN NTT A AIIN NH HA ARRLL EEYY D DA AVVIID D SSO ON N (Maryville, TN) Shooter Jennings May 16 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) TV On The Radio May 16 KSSU K U SSPPO ORRTT SS A AN ND D EE N NTT EERRTT A AIIN NM M EEN N TT PPAA RRK K (Kennesaw, GA) “Shaky Boots Music Festival” Brad Paisley, Rascal Flatts, Justin Moore, Old Crow Medicine Show, Sara Evans, Eli Young Band, Josh Thompson, The Cadillac Three, Cracker, Drake White And The Big Fire, Clare Dunn, Jim White vs. The Packway Handle Band May 17 PPIIEED DM MO ON NTT PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Those Darlins May 17 GRRA G AN ND DO O LLEE O O PPRRYY H HO OU USSEE (Nashville) Paramore, Copeland May 17 WA W ARR M MEE M MO O RRIIA ALL A AU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Butch Walker May17

ENIGMA

HIIG H GH HW WAATT TT (Nashville) Rubblebucket, Vacationer May 19 BBIIJJ O OU U TTH H EEAATT RREE (Knoxville) Jeff Daniels May 19 CCEE N NTT EERR SSTT AAG GEE (Atlanta) Todd Rundgren May 20 CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NAASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Jeff Daniels May 20 IIRRO ON N CCIITT YY (Birmingham) Kamelot, Dragonforce May 21 VVEE RRIIZZO ON NW WIIRREE LLEESSSS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEEAATT RREE AATT EEN NCC O ORREE PPAARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Darius Rucker May 21 CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NAASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Candlebox May 21 KIIN K NG G SSTTO ON ND DO OW WN NSS (Atlanta) (Rome, GA) “Counterpoint Music & Arts Festival” May 22 IIRRO ON N CCIITT YY (Birmingham) Kamelot, Dragonforce May 22 TTEE N NN NEE SSSSEE EE TT H HEE AATTRREE (Knoxville) Sheryl Crow May 23 KIIN K NG G SSTTO ON ND DO OW WN NSS (Atlanta) (Rome, GA) “Counterpoint Music & Arts Festival” May 23 RRYY M MAA N N AAU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) “Weird Al” Yankovic May 23 KIIN K NG G SSTTO ON ND DO OW WN NSS (Atlanta) (Rome, GA) “Counterpoint Music & Arts Festival” May 24 VVEE RRIIZZO ON NW WIIRREE LLEESSSS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEEAATT RREE AATT EEN NCC O ORREE PPAARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Rush May 26 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Billy Idol May 26 CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NAASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Emmylou Harris, Rodney Crowell May 26 BBRRIID DG GEE SSTT O ON NEE AARREEN N AA (Nashville) New Kids On The Block, TLC, Nelly May 27 CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NAASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville)

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Emmylou Harris, Rodney Crowell May 27 BBU UCC K KH H EEAAD D TTH H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) Purity Ring May 27 M IILLLLEERR PPLL AAZZAA (Chattanooga) “Nightfall M Concert Series” Spirit Family Band May 29 CC O OBBBB EE N NEE RRG GYY PPEERRFF O ORRM MIIN NG GA ARRTTSS CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Lisa Lampinelli May 30 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Dave Matthews Band May 30 CC O OBBBB EE N NEE RRG GYY PPEERRFF O ORRM MIIN NG GA ARRTTSS CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Brit Floyd May 31 PPA ARRK K TT AAVVEERRN N (Atlanta) Ivan & Alyosha May 31 H AARRRRAAH H H’’ SS CC H HEE RRO OK KEE EE CC A ASSIIN NO O (Cherokee) Jay Leno May 30 TT H HEE AARREEN N AA AATT G GW W IIN NN N EETT TT CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Jimmy Buffett June 2 H IIG H GH HW WAATT TT (Nashville) Ivan & Alyosha June 2 TT U USSCC AALLO OO OSSAA AAM MPPH HII TTH H EEA ATT RREE (Tuscaloosa, AL) Dave Matthews Band June 3 O AAK O KM MO OU UN N TTAAII N N AAM M PPH HIITT H HEE A ATT RREE (Pelham, AL) Train, The Fray, Matt Nathanson June 3 CC H HAASS TTAAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Third Eye Blind, Dashboard Confessional June 3 4400 W WAATTTT CC LLU UBB (Athens, GA) Conor Oberst, Larkin Poe June 3 M AARRAATTH M HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake, Ballyhoo! June 3 ARREE N A NAA AATT G GW WIIN NN N EETT TT CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Barry Manilow, Dave Koz June 4 RRIIVVEERRBBEE N ND D FFEESS TTIIVVAALL (Chattanooga) Exile, 3 Doors Down June 5 M IILLLLEERR PPLL AAZZAA (Chattanooga) “Nightfall M Concert Series” A.J. Ghent Band June 5 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Train,


The Fray, Matt Nathanson June 5 CC H HAASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Lou Gramm June 5 TT U USSCC AALLO OO OSSAA AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE (Tuscaloosa, AL) SWV June 5 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Ingrid Michaelson June 5 RRIIVVEERRBBEEN ND D FF EESSTT IIVVAALL (Chattanooga) Martina McBride, Juice Newton June 6 SSO OU UTT H HEE RRN N SSTT AATT EESS AAM MPPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE (Fayetteville, GA) Chuck Negron June 6 PPH HII LLIIPPSS AARREEN N AA (Atlanta) New Kids On The Block, TLC, Nelly June 6 MIILL LLEERR PPLLAAZZ AA (Chattanooga) “Nightfall M Concert Series” Band of Ruhks June12 CC O OU UN NTT RRYY TT O ON NIITT EE TT H H EEAATT RREE (Pigeon Forge, TN) Chubby Checker & the Wildcats June 12 MEE RRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Heartless Bastards, Craig Fin June 12 SSTT O ON N EE FF O OXX (Nashville) Quintron & Miss Pussycat June 12 CC H HAASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) SWV, Blackstreet Featuring Teddy Riley, Tony! Toni! Tone’!, Next June 12 VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WIIRREELLEE SSSS AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPAARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Everclear, Fuel, Toadies, American Hi-Fi June 12 GEE O G ORRG G IIAA D DO OM MEE (Atlanta) Kenny Chesney, Eric Church, Brantley Gilbert, Chase Rice June 13 ARREEN A N AA AATT G GW W IIN NN NEE TT TT CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Cheech & Chong, WAR June 13 WO W O LLFF CC RREEEE K K AAM MPPH H IITT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Will Downing June 13 VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WIIRREELLEE SSSS AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPAARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Boston June 13 MEE RRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) CJ Ramone, Shonen Knife June 13 AAARRO A ON N ’’SS AAM MPPH H IITTH H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) Lana Del Ray June 14 HEE LLLL AATT TT H H HEE M MAASS Q QU UEE RRAAD DEE (Atlanta) CJ Ramone, Shonen Knife June 14 TT EEN NN NEESS SSEEEE TTH H EEAATT RREE (Knoxville) Kathy Griffin June 17 MIILL LLEERR PPLLAAZZ AA (Chattanooga) “Nightfall M Concert Series” Novalima June 19 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON NEE AARREE N NAA (Nashville) Cedric The Entertainer, Mike Epps, Eddie Griffin, George Lopez, D.L. Hughley, Charlie Murphy June 19 CC H HAASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) “Weird Al” Yankovic June 20 SSM M IITTH H ’’SS O OLLD D EE BBAARR (Atlanta) Will Kimbrough June 20 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND D SSLLEEYY (Nashville) Josh Rouse, Walter Martin June 20 HEE RRIITT AAG H GEE PPAARRK K (Cullman, AL) Alan Jackson, Travis Tritt, Sara Evans, Blackberry Smoke, Corey Smith, Jon Pardi, Jessica Meuse, Dee Jay Silver June 20 TT H HEE W WO OO OD DSS AATT FFO ON N TT AAN NEELL (Whites Creek, TN) Lindsey Stirling June 23 TT H HEE W WO OO OD DSS AATT FFO ON N TT AAN NEELL (Whites Creek, TN) Bryan Adams June 25 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Juicy J June 25 MIILL LLEERR PPLLAAZZ AA (Chattanooga) “Nightfall M Concert Series” Amy LaVere June 26 CC O OBBBB EE N NEERRG G YY PPEERRFFO O RRM MIIN NG G AARRTT SS CC EEN N TT EERR (Atlanta) Natalie Cole June 26 CC H HAASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Indigo Girls June 26 FFO O XX TT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Brian Wilson, Rodriguez June 26 TT H HEE W WO OO OD DSS AATT FFO ON N TT AAN NEELL (Whites Creek,

TN) David Gray, Amos Lee June 26 OA O AK KM MO OU UN NTT A AIIN NA AM MPPH H IITTH H EEA ATT RREE (Pelham, GA) Def Leppard, Styx, Tesla June 27 TTH H EE W WO OO OD DSS A ATT FF O ON N TTA AN N EELL (Whites Creek, TN) Brian Wilson, Rodriguez June 27 AA A ARRO ON N ’’SS A AM MPPH HII H HEEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) Def Leppard, Styx, Tesla June 28 SSCC H HEERRM M EERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY CC EEN N TTEE RR (Nashville) Aretha Franklin June 30 TTEE N NN N EESSSSEE EE SS TTA ATT EE FFA AIIRRG G RRO OU UN ND DSS (Nashville) Van’s Warped Tour July 1 AA A ARRO ON N ’’SS A AM MPPH HII H HEEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) Van’s Warped Tour July 2 MIILLLLEE RR PPLLA M AZZA A (Chattanooga) “Nightfall Concert Series” Hypnotic Jazz Band July 3 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) World Party July 3 VVA ARRII EETT YY PPLL A AYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) World party July 5 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON N EE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) Imagine Dragons, Metric, Halsey July 8 MIILLLLEE RR PPLLA M AZZA A (Chattanooga) “Nightfall Concert Series” “Road to Nightfall Winner” July 10 CCH HA ASSTT A AIIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Daryl Hall & John Oates July 10 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON N EE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) Train, The Fray, Matt Nathanson July 10 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) The Bacon Brothers July 10 VVA AN ND DEE RRBBIILLTT SSTT A AD DIIU UM M (Nashville) Luke Bryan, Florida Georgia Line, Thomas Rhett, Randy Houser, Dustin Lynch July 11 FFRREED D RRIICC K K BBRRO OW WN N JJRR.. A AM M PPH HIITT H HEE AATT RREE (Atlanta) KC & the Sunshine Band July 11 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON N EE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) Fall Out Boy, Wiz Kalifa, Hoodie Allen July 12 VVEERRIIZZO ON NW W IIRREELLEE SSSS A AM M PPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPA ARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Barenaked Ladies, Violent Femmes, Colin Hay July 12 TTH H EE W WO OO OD DSS A ATT FF O ON N TTA AN N EELL (Whites Creek, TN) Barenaked Ladies, Violent Femmes, Colin Hay July 13 PPH HIILLII PPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Imagine Dragons, Metric, Halsey July 14 HEE A H AVVEE N NA ATT TT H H EE M MA ASSQ QU U EERRA AD DEE (Atlanta) Death Grips July 14 VVEERRIIZZO ON NW W IIRREELLEE SSSS A AM M PPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPA ARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Rod Stewart July 15 TTU U SSCC A ALLO OO O SSA AA AM M PPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE (Tuscaloosa) Rod Stewart July 16 MIILLLLEE RR PPLLA M AZZA A (Chattanooga) “Nightfall Concert Series” Selwyn Birchwood July 17 AA A ARRO ON N ’’SS A AM MPPH HII H HEEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) Fall Out Boy, Wiz Kalifa, Hoodie Allen July 17 AA A ARRO ON N ’’SS A AM MPPH HII TTH H EEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) Lady Antebellum, Hunter Hayes, Sam Hunt July 18 AA A ARRO ON N ’’SS A AM MPPH HII H HEEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) Kid Rock, Foreigner July 19 CCH HA ASSTT A AIIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Rob Thomas July 21 MIILLLLEE RR PPLLA M AZZA A (Chattanooga) “Nightfall Concert Series” Band of Heathens July 24 CCH HA ASSTT A AIIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Idina Menzel July 24 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Delbert McClinton July 24 SSO OU U TTH H EERRN NG GRRO OU UN ND DA AM M PPH HIITT H HEE AATT RREE (Fayetteville, GA) Blood Sweat & Tears July 25 CCH HA ASSTT A AIIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Keith Sweat, After 7 Feat. Kevon Edmonds, Troop, Shai July 25 PPH HIILLII PPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Slipknot, Lamb Of God, Bullet For My Valentine, Motionless In

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White July 26 TTEE N NN NEE SSSSEE EE TT H HEE AATTRREE (Knoxville) Diana Krall July 27 CCH H AASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga July 29 SSCCH H EERRM M EERRH HO O RRN N SS YYM M PPH HO ON NYY CC EEN NTT EE RR (Nashville) Shirley MacLaine July 30 BBRRIID DG GEE SSTT O ON NEE AARREEN N AA (Nashville) Shania Twain, Gavin DeGraw July 31 PPH H IILLIIPPSS AARREE N NAA (Atlanta) Shania Twain, Gavin DeGraw August 1 RRII VVEE RRFFRRO ON N TT PPAARRK K (Nashville) Chicago, Earth, Wind & Fire August 1 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS AAM M PPH HIITT H HEE AATT RREE (Atlanta) Nicki Minaj, Meek Mill, Rae Sremmurd, Tinashe, Dej Loaf August 2 TTU U SSCCAALL O OO O SSAA AAM MPPH H IITT H HEEAATT RREE (Tuscaloosa) Phish August 2 RRII VVEE RRFFRRO ON N TT PPAARRK K (Nashville) Phish August 4 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS AAM M PPH HIITT H HEE AATT RREE (Atlanta) 5 Seconds of Summer August 5 IIRRO ON N CCIITT YY (Nashville) Col. Bruce Hampton & The Aquarium Rescue Unit August 5 CCA AN NN NEERRYY BBAALLLLRRO OO OM M (Nashville) The Aquarium Rescue Unit August 6 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Dark Star Orchestra August 6 NAASSH N H VVIILL LLEE M MU UN NII CCIIPPAALL AAU UD DII TTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) “Ink-N-Iron Festival” Merle Haggard, Three Times Bad August 7 BBIICC EE N NTT EEN NN NIIAALL CC AAPPIITT O OLL M MAALLLL SSTT AATTEE PPAARRK K (Nashville) Reverend Horton Heat August 7 RRYY M MAA N N AAU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Alice in Chains August 7 TTEE N NN NEE SSSSEE EE TT H HEE AATTRREE (Knoxville) “Weird Al” Yankovic August 7

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FF O OXX TT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) My Morning Jacket, Mini Mansions August 7 BBU UCC K KH H EEAAD D TTH H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) Col. Bruce Hampton & The Aquarium Rescue Unit August 7 CC H HAASS TTAAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) ThePianoGuys August 8 FF O OXX TT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) My Morning Jacket, Mini Mansions August 8 TT O OW WN N CC EEN N TTEE RR PPAARRK K (Suwanee, GA) Soul Asylum August 8 N AASSH N HVVIILLLLEE M MU UN NIICC IIPPAALL A AU UD DIITT O O RRII U UM M (Nashville) “Ink-N-Iron Festival” Three Times Bad August 8 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Alice in Chains August 8 CC H HAASS TTAAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Steely Dan, Elvis Costello August 9 N AASSH N HVVIILLLLEE M MU UN NIICC IIPPAALL A AU UD DIITT O O RRII U UM M (Nashville) “Ink-N-Iron Festival” Three Times Bad August 9 BBJJCC CC CC O ON N CCEE RRTT H H AALLLL (Birmingham) My Morning Jacket, mini Mansions August 10 BBRRIID DG GEESS TTO ON NEE AARREEN N AA (Nashville) The Charlie Daniels Band, Travis Tritt, Montgomery Gentry, Billy Ray Cyrus, Kentucky Headhunters, The Outlaws, Lee Roy Parnell August 12 FF O OXX TT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Culture Club August 12 CC H HAASS TTAAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Gipsy Kings August 14 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS AAM MPPH H IIH HEE AATT RREE (Atlanta) J. Cole, Big Sean, YG, Jeremih, Bas, Cozz August 15 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Meghan Trainor, Charlie Puth, Life Of Dillon August 15


OPEN ING TH IS WEEK Furious 7 PG-13 Deckard Shaw seeks revenge against Dominic Toretto and his family for the death of his brother.

behind enemy lines, putting a price on his head and making him a prime target of insurgents. He is also facing a different kind of battle on the home front: striving to be a good husband and father from halfway around the world. Based on the book by Chris Kyle with Scott McEwen and Jim DeFelice.

Woman In Gold PG-13 Maria Altmann, an octogenarian Jewish refugee, takes on the government to recover artwork she believes rightful- Chappie R ly belongs to her family. In the near future, crime is patrolled by an oppressive NO N OW W SS H HO OW WIIN NG G mechanized police force. When one police droid, American Sniper R Chappie, is stolen and given U.S. Navy SEAL Chris Kyle is new programming, he sent to Iraq with only one becomes the first robot with mission: to protect his broth- the ability to think and feel ers-in-arms. His pinpoint for himself. accuracy saves countless lives on the battlefield and, as sto- Cinderella PG ries of his courageous exploits A live-action retelling of the spread, he earns the nick- classic fairy tale about a sername “Legend.” However, his vant step-daughter who wins reputation is also growing the heart of a prince.

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Paul Walker and Vin Diesel in Universal Pictures’ “Furious 7”.

Do You Believe? A dozen different souls-all moving in different directions, all longing for something more. As their lives unexpectedly intersect, they each are about to discover there is power in the Cross of Christ ... even if they don’t yet believe it. When a local pastor is shaken to the core by the visible faith of an old streetcorner preacher, he is reminded that true belief always requires action. His response ignites a faith-fueled

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journey that powerfully impacts everyone it touches in ways that only God could orchestrate. This stirring new film from the creators of God’s Not Dead arrives in theaters Spring of 2015. More than a movie, it’s a question we all must answer in our lifetimes: DO YOU BELIEVE? Fifty Shades of Grey R Literature student Anastasia Steele’s life changes forever when she meets handsome, yet tormented, billionaire


Christian Grey. Focus R In the midst of veteran con man Nicky’s latest scheme, a woman from his past - now an accomplished femme fatale shows up and throws his plans for a loop. Get Hard R When millionaire James King is nailed for fraud and bound for San Quentin, he turns to Darnell Lewis to prep him to go behind bars. Home PG When Oh, a loveable misfit from another planet, lands on Earth and finds himself on the run from his own people, he forms an unlikely friendship with an adventurous girl named Tip who is on a quest of her own. Through a series of comic adventures with Tip, Oh comes to understand that being different and making mistakes is all part of being human. And while he changes her planet and she changes his world, they discover the true meaning of the word HOME. Insurgent PG-13 Beatrice Prior must confront her inner demons and continue her fight against a powerful alliance which threatens to tear her society apart with the help from others on her side.

small California town trans- close the most important deal forms a team of athletes into of their lives. But what began championship contenders. as a routine business trip goes off the rails in every way Run All Night R imaginable - and unimaginAn aging hitman is forced to able - way, including take on his brutal former boss unplanned stops at a massive to protect his estranged son sex fetish event and a global and his family. economic summit. Still Alice PG-13 Alice Howland, happily married with three grown children, is a renowned linguistics professor who starts to forget words. When she receives a diagnosis of EarlyOnset Alzheimer’s Disease, Alice and her family find their bonds thoroughly tested. Her struggle to stay connected to who she once was is frightening, heartbreaking, and inspiring. The Gunman R A former Special Forces soldier and military contractor suffering from PTSD tries to reconnect with his long time love, but first must go on the run from London to Barcelona and across Europe in order to clear his name.

Serena R In Depression-era North Carolina, the future of George Pemberton’s timber empire becomes complicated when he marries Serena.

CO MING S OO N Beyond the Reach R A high-rolling corporate shark and his impoverished young guide play the most dangerous game during a hunting trip in the Mojave Desert. Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 PG After six years of keeping our malls safe, Paul Blart has earned a well-deserved vacation. He heads to Vegas with his teenage daughter before she heads off to college. But

The Lazarus Effect PG-13 A group of medical students discover a way to bring dead patients back to life.

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water G SpongeBob goes on a quest to discover a stolen recipe that takes him to our dimension, Kingsman: The Secret Service our world, where he tangles R with a pirate. A veteran secret agent takes a young upstart under his wing. Unfinished Business R A hard-working small busiMcFarland USA PG ness owner and his two assoA cross country coach in a ciates travel to Europe to ENIGMA

safety never takes a holiday and when duty calls, Blart answers.

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The Longest Ride PG-13 The lives of a young couple intertwine with a much older man as he reflects back on a lost love while he’s trapped in an automobile crash. True Story R The relationship between journalist Michael Finkel and Christian Longo, an FBI Most Wanted List murderer who for years lived outside the U.S. under Finkel’s name.


band Brinsley Schwarz’s PR firm flies 133 British journalists to New York to cover the band’s performance at a Fillmore East gig opening for Van Morrison…due to visa snags the band arrives just hours before the show and delivers a lackluster set… meanwhile the plane with the journalists aboard has mechanical troubles and they arrive unhappy and hung over…the reviews are unflattering…

11 995566:: Following Elvis Presley’s show at the San Diego Arena, the city’s police chief vows that the singer will be arrested for disorderly conduct if he ever plays the town again…

recalls 750,000 copies from distributors to replace the cover…a more conventional cover “slick” is applied over the offending image…that leads to an epidemic of usually muffed attempts by fans to peel off the later cover…origi11 995588:: Rock ‘n’ roll may be here to nal “Butcher” covers command stay but America still loves its huge prices today… crooners...Johnny Mathis’ Greatest Hits album hits the charts this 11996677:: Jimi Hendrix sets his Strat on week and there it will stay for a fire for the first time while playing The Astoria in London…it’s the record 490 weeks… first night of a 24-date tour with 11 996611 :: The Beatles begin a three- The Walker Brothers, Cat Stevens, month stay at a Hamburg, and improbably, cheesemaster Germany joint called The Top Ten Engelbert Humperdinck…the parClub…the future Fab Four play 92 tially charred guitar will sell for straight nights—seven hours on £280,000 at a 2008 London aucweeknights and eight hours on tion… weekends with 15-minute breaks between sets…aside from building 11996688:: Pink Floyd co-founder Syd their endurance, the lads’ future Barrett leaves the band...Barrett’s hairstyles are set when Stu mental instability, exacerbated by Sutcliffe’s German girlfriend gives heavy drug use, has become so severe he can no longer funchim a memorable haircut… tion…this same week, following 11 996633:: Portland garage band The Martin Luther King’s assassination, Kingsmen record “Louie Louie” in New York’s New Generation club a local studio after paying a $36 hosts a series of jams that include fee for the Saturday-morning ses- Jimi Hendrix, B.B. King, Buddy sion…Paul Revere & The Raiders Guy, Joni Mitchell, Al Kooper, and also record their version in the Ted Nugent… same studio …who recorded it first is a matter of contention…the 11996699:: Bruce Springsteen along with Kingsmen version becomes a his band, Child, make their performing debut at the garage-rock classic… Pandemonium Club in 11 996666:: At a London photo session, Wanamassa, New Jersey… The Beatles pose in white butcher smocks draped with pieces of 11997700:: As an April Fool’s gag, John meat and decapitated doll parts Lennon and Yoko Ono issue a for the cover of their next press release stating that they’ll be American album, Yesterday…and undergoing dual sex-change operToday…negative reaction to the ations…a publicity junket goes cover shot is so strong that Capitol seriously awry when pop blues ENIGMA

bration on the Washington Mall offering the rationale that rock ‘n’ roll bands attract the wrong element...two days later President Reagan overturns the goofball decision and personally invites the Beach Boys to perform…

11 998844:: Soul singer Marvin Gaye is shot to death by his father at his parents’ L.A. home…the shooting occurs when Gaye attempts to intervene in a fight between his parents…Marvin Sr. is initially 11997711 :: After her show at L.A.’s accused of murder, but charges Troubadour club, singer-song- are dropped when it’s revealed he writer Carly Simon is introduced has a brain tumor… to James Taylor…she finds him not so vain and they marry the follow- 11 998855:: David Lee Roth quits Van Halen…he’ll be replaced with ing year… Sammy Hagar…also this week, the 11998833:: U.S. Interior Secretary James single “We Are The World” featurWatt bans the Beach Boys from ing a huge roster of pop stars is performing at the 4th of July cele- aired simultaneously on more

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than 5,000 radio stations world- 11999955:: Tejano pop star Selena is wide…sales benefit the charity murdered by the president of her USA for Africa… fan club when confronted over embezzled funds… 11 999900:: Eric Clapton is fined £300 with £10 costs after being stopped 11999977:: Joni Mitchell is reunited with for speeding at 105 mph; Slow Kilauren Gibb, the daughter she Hand’s license is suspended for gave up for adoption 32 years earlier… three months… 11 999922:: Adrenalize, Def Leppard’s fifth studio album and the first with Vivian Campbell replacing deceased guitarist Steve Clark is released… 11 999933:: In a memorable appearance on The Late Show With David Letterman, potty-mouthed Madonna is persistently bleeped by the network…Madge also hands Letterman a pair of her panties, which he promptly stuffs in his desk drawer…

11 999988:: Former Plasmatics frontwoman Wendy O. Williams dies in a wooded area near her home in Storrs, Connecticut of a selfinflicted gunshot wound to the head…she was 48 years old… 22000011 :: Whitney Houston and husband Bobby Brown are banned for life from L.A.’s Hotel Bel-Air after trashing their suite…a TV is smashed, two doors ripped off their hinges, and the walls and carpets stained…it takes five days to repair damages…also this week, Mariah Carey signs a recording deal with Virgin for $100 million; the richest music contract ever…and finally, this same week, country star Leann Rimes settles a suit against her father and exmanager claiming the pair had cheated her out of $12 million…details of the deal are withheld…

11 999944:: Kurt Cobain commits suicide by shooting himself in the head at his home in Seattle.…the body is found four days later by an electrician who had arrived to install a security system… a suicide note reads, “I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music, along with really writing…for too many years now”… a high concentration of heroin and traces of Valium are found in the 22000044:: Jeff Tweedy of Wilco checks himself into a Chicago rehab facilNirvana frontman’s body…

Retro Cafe

The Best of New Wave, Post Modern Classics and Other Odd Stuff

Wednesdays at 5pm est. on wawl.org ENIGMA

ity to be weaned from addictive pain meds he uses to deal with chronic migraine headaches...he emerges 26 days later proclaiming it is “the most beautiful thing I’ve ever done”...

straight…

220011 22:: Jim Marshall whose amps served up the raw power that fueled countless rock and metal acts dies in a London hospice at 88…the roar of Marshall amps and 22000055:: The legendary Hit Factory cabinets has become the default studio founded in 1968 closes its backline sound of modern rock doors forever...it t was the scene styles… of hundreds of major sessions by luminaries such as Clapton, 220011 33:: A signed copy of The Beatles’ Lennon, Wonder and album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Springsteen…also this week, Club Band sells at a Dallas auction Death Row Records boss Marion for $290,500…the price is far high“Suge” Knight is ordered to pay er than the $30,00 estimated value $107 million to a woman who says of the rare LP, a UK Parlophone she helped found the label in version with high-gloss cover and 1989…Lydia Harris says she invest- vinyl gatefold sleeve…this same ed in Death Row, but was pushed week Mark Knopfler pulls the plug out by Knight…a year later he will on two planned June shows in Russia to protest the government’s file for bankruptcy… ransacking the offices of Human 22000066:: A John Lennon schoolbook Rights Watch and Amnesty containing the 12-year-old’s draw- International… ing of Lewis Carroll’s poem “The Walrus and the Carpenter” is sold 220011 44:: Pop singer Ed Sheeran honat auction for $239,000…the poem ors a dying teenager’s wish by was the inspiration for The singing his “Little Bird ” to her Beatles’ 1967 song “I Am the over the telephone…thousands of Walrus”… a ship’s log written by tweets aimed at the British singerLennon during a stormy trip to songwriter got him in touch with Bermuda in 1980 is also auctioned the girl… for $23,000…this same week Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” becomes the first single to top the charts strictly on the basis of download sales…

22000077:: When a Swedish couple attempt to name their baby Metallica, officials refuse to register the birth saying the name is “inappropriate”…Swedish law requires official approval of birth names…this same week Japanese musicians ranging in age from six to 96 set a new record for the longest continuous concert by performing more than 2,000 songs non stop over 182 hours…even an earthquake that rattles the venue can’t stop the show…meanwhile, a spokeswoman for Keith Richards says that his claim to a reporter of having snorted his father’s ashes with some coke was told in jest…the reporter for NME maintains Richards was tellin’ it

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JJaaccoobb.

RRU UM MO OU URR H HAASS IITT… … …Congratulations to RRyyaa nn O Oyyee rr and band as they won the fifth annual “Road to Nightfall” contest besting dozens of other Chattanooga talent for their chance in the limelight. As Oyyee rr will headline the the victor, O Nightfall Concert Series downtown at Miller Plaza on Friday, July 10. It’s nice to see someone with actual talent win this instead of someone either buying their way or “knowing someone” to ensure victory. Nightfall officially kicks off May 1 with JJoohhnn &&

added is the newest trend of dueling pianos as well as a pizze…Who will be the ria downstairs. Read more about released. newest owner of the old Bart’s it on page 30. Lakeshore that finally closed All aannaa LLyynnnn, a morning …A down mercifully last year after a …Did a popular restauunique run on the river. There rant group bite off more than it DJ at country radio station WOW are a few tire kickers. Let’s just could chew when it took over a FM in Boise, Idaho, hasn’t heard hope it’s someone with actual former restaurant to make it one such outrage from listeners since Diixx iiee CChhii cckkss got, well, Dixie experience running a restaurant of their own? Word on the street the D lounge instead of going though a the venture is sucking serious Chicked. This time, it’s LLiittttll ee BBii gg wnn – or at least radio program midlife crisis. wind and there are wagers being TToow directors daring to play the counmade by more than a handful of try quartet – that has listeners …Raw will reopen people how long they can hang ready to storm their stations with Friday night an look nothing like on. torches and pitchforks. “Girl it’s old self. Rumour has it a milCrush” – an ode of sorts from a lion dollars were put into fixing …Is Hill City back on the jilted lover about her replaceup the place with never before market? The once popular colment – has some pretty provocaseen (in this area) lighting and lege hangout (until Clyde’s sound as well as visuals. Also opened) was sold late last year, tive lyrics if one is possessed of but rumour has it they are looking an even mildly dirty mind. “I want to either get rid of the business, to taste her lips, yeah cause they find a new owner for the business taste like you / I want to drown or lease the space out to another myself in a bottle of her perKaa rree nn restaurant to take over. fume,” warbles LLBBTT singer K F F a a i i r r c c h h i i l l d d . “I want her long blond Ironically no one over there hair, I want her magic touch / seems to be taking much interest Yeah cause maybe then, you’d into what’s happening there these days - especially their old cus- want me just as much … I got a tomers they are waiting for two girl crush.” Before you could say hours a night just to get in the “flyover state,” LLyynnnn started getdoor of the Southside Social. The ting calls and emails after playing only people showing any concern “Girl Crush,” accusing her and her are the security staff. Well, at radio station of “promoting the least they still have that hot dog gay agenda” and threatening to cart out there on the weekends - boycott, according to the Washington Post. The last time at least for now… Lynn heard such vitriol, the DJ Diixx iiee Ozzzz yy Oss bboouurr nnee ’’ss told the paper, was “TThhee D O …O C C h h i i c c k k s s ’ ’ P P r r e e s s i i d d e e n n t t B B u u s s h h comupcoming surgery has forced organizers to cancel “OzzFiesta” ments.” scheduled for May 27-31 in …The Grammy Museum Quintana Roo, Mexico. A posting is opening up a gallery in on the event’s website states the Nashville this summer, promising BBllaa cckk SSaabb bbaatthh co-founder will undergo surgery following his to give visitors an immersive tour of South America and will experience on the art and techneed “four weeks of recovery nology of making music. The time.” No other information was Grammy Museum at L.A. Live, ENIGMA

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which pays tribute to music’s cultural history and the Grammy Award itself, is bringing the gallery to Nashville. In making Thursday’s announcement, K aarr ll D Dee aann said Nashville Mayor K there was no better place for the Grammy Gallery than Music City. The new attraction will be located on more than 7,000 square feet in the Musicians Hall of Fame and Museum at the Municipal Auditorium. It is expected to open in August. Mooddeess tt M Moouussee , BBaanndd …M OOff HHoorr ssee ss, PPrrii m muuss and more await you at the inaugural Sloss Music & Arts Festival, designed to highlight Birmingham’s ever-growing music, food and arts scene. Tickets go on sale this week. The lineup for July 18-19 at the historic Sloss Furnaces National Historic Am mdd Landmark includes SStt.. PPaauull A TThhee BBrr ookkee nn BBoonn eess , CCaa ggee TThhee EEll ee pphhaa nntt, YYoouunngg TThhee GGii aanntt, LLoorrdd HHuurroonn, TTyy llee rr,, TThhee CCrree aattoorr , PPuurr iittyy RRii nngg, FFiirr sstt AAii dd KKii tt, M Maanncchhee ssttee rr OOrrcc hhee ssttrraa, BBiigg GGii ggaann ttiicc, SSttuurr ggiill ll

SSii m mppssoonn , TThhee Nee w N w PPoorr nnoogg rr aapphhee rr ss, RRoobb eerr tt DDeeLL oonngg and others. Organizers are promising another major headline act to be announced shortly. …JJaayy--ZZ is set to launch his new music streaming service Monday with a host of musicians offering their support. The rapper’s Project Panther Bidco company recently acquired Tidal from its Norwegian parent company Aspiro for 464 million kroner (69.6 million dollars). Tidal Hifi offers more than 25 million songs and 75,000 music videos to more than half a million subscribers in Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Germany and Poland. In a statement, JJaayy ZZ ’’ss company said of the purchase: “Panther believes that the recent developments in the entertainment industry, with the migration to music and media streaming, offers great potential for increased entertainment consumption and an opportunity for artists to further promote their music.” Now, the likes of K Kaannyy ee

Weess tt , BBee yyoo nnccéé , JJaa cckk W W Whhii ttee, RRiihhaannnnaa , M Maaddoonnnnaa, NNii cckkii M Mii nnaajj and CCoollddppll aayy have all changed their social media profile pictures to a turquoise square in support of the launch. …This summer will see many festival-goers attempting to show off their selfie stick skills for the first time. But US festivals are now listing them as “prohibited items”. With only 12 days till the festival’s first weekend begins in Indio, California on April 10, Coachella organizers have stated that the devices are banned. Lollapalooza which takes place in Grant Park, Chicago on July 31 to August 2 this year has also issued a warning to those revelers looking to bring selfie sticks to the site. … SSaacchhaa BBaa rroonn CCoohhee nn Meerr ccuurr yy will not portray FFrr eeddddii ee M in a new biopic film, says Q Quueeee nn Maayy . The project guitarist BBrr ii aann M has been in development for the past six years and was recently put on hold due to alleged arguments between Baron Cohen and surviving Q Quueeee nn members M Maa yy and RRooggeerr TTaa yyll oorr about the tone and approach of the film, culminating in BBaarr oonn CCoohheenn leaving the project two years ago. Yesterday, Quuee eenn’’ss manit was reported that Q J J i i m m B B e e a a c c h h confirmed the ager “important breakthrough” of BBaa rr oonn CCoohheenn’’ss renewed involvement after he received the PPee tteerr GGrr aanntt accolade for Outstanding Achievement at the Artist and Manager Awards in London last Maa yy has week. However, now M taken to his official website to confirm that this was a “joke”. If you know any truths, halftruths or outright lies about the music and club scene send it to Sissy Vance c/o rumoursmill@enigmaonline.com.

- Sissy Vance

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1. Modest Mouse 2. Lucinda Williams 3. Blackberry Smoke 4. My Morning Jacket 5. They Might Be Giants 6. Mumford & Sons 7. Belle & Sebastion 8. Death Cab For Cutie 9. Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds 10. Florence and the Machine 11. Brandi Carlile 12. Nick Lutsko 13. Ivan & Alyosha 14. Alabama Shakes 15. The Decemberists 16. Father John Misty 17. Sufjan Stevens 18. Leonard Cohen 19. Kate Pierson 20. Zella Day

ADVENTURE PICKS 1. Breaking Benjamin 2. Bohannons 3. Courtney Barnett0


Die Antwoord

©Chris Eason

From Cape Town to downtown Die Antwoord took the town by storm recently as the hip-hop, raver duo from South Africa with the unique sense of humor brought down the house. Since hitting the shores here in the U.S. the duo has sold out show after show with this one being no different. Not long after they got together in 2008 Ninja (Watkin Tudor Jones) and Yolandi Visser hit viral gold with their song “Enter the Ninja”. Since then the two haven’t looked back as they recently announced their latest album in February.

few songs off of last year’s Donker Mag with DJ High Tek getting the crowd worked into frenzy before taking the stage. Die Antwoord are very pop culture savvy, especially for those familiar with South African pop culture. They paint an aural picture backing it up with costumes, unique sets all in the name of good “clean” fun.

The unlikely duo is actually conceptual artists that have combined music, visual arts and humor to be one of the hottest acts going these days. That can be attested by the sold out show the other night that in fact was one of the faster sellouts around these parts in a long time.

The best thing about Die Antwoord is their “I don’t give a damn” attitude or so it seems. The duo made news a while back after turning down an invitation to open for Lady Gaga on tour by casting a look-alike in their video for “Fatty Boom Boom”. In the video “Lady Gaga” gives birth to a crustacean and gets chased down wearing her meat dress by a lion and devoured. Needless to say they don’t plan on being her little monsters any time soon. The attitude and their antics made the show all the more worthwhile.

The duo started the night off with a

- Chris Eason ©Chris Eason

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©Chris Eason ©Chris Eason

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Red Bull/KTM’s Ryan Dungey Actually Does Have Wings

Chad Reed, Dade City, Fla., Ken Roczen, Clermont, Fla., Suzuki Kawasaki Jason Anderson, Edgewood, N.M., “With Marvin’s win it was perfect execution,” said Dungey. “The Honda boys were breathing on me, but I was able to put some disEven NASCAR legend Jimmie tance between us as the race went Johnson, who is a six-time champi- on. Winning the Duel in the Dome on and winner of 70 Cup races was is icing on top of a great race.” on hand as he served as the Grand Marshall at the race. Musquin gave KTM their first-ever win in Atlanta and the sixth win of The event comprised of two races his career. Musquin now leads the on consecutive weeks saw Dungey championship by seven points. finish in second place on the 21st while winning the following week- “I made some passes in the early end to take top honors earning the part of the race to get up front,” inaugural “Duel in The Dome” tro- said Martin. “I tried to run Marvin phy. down but he was the better man tonight.” Red Bull/KTM’s Marvin Musquin 0SSXX CC llaa ssss RRee ssuu ll ttss :: AAttllaa nnttaa 44550 led wire-to-wire en route to his second Eastern Regional 250SX Class Championship win of the Ryan Dungey, Belle Plaine, Minn., season. For the second time this KTM season KTM swept both Main Eli Tomac, Cortez, Colo., Honda Events.

53,537 fans at the Georgia Dome witnessed Red Bull/KTM’s Ryan Dungey become the first threetime Monster Energy AMA Supercross winner.

the number-one position.”

In six of seven career starts in Trey Canard, Edmond, Okla., Atlanta, Dungey has six podium Honda finishes and three wins. He now has 17 career wins and holds a 30- Broc Tickle, Holly, Mich., Suzuki point lead in season standings. Blake Baggett, Grand Terrace, “I was there on the start,” said Calif., Suzuki Tomac. “Just to be here on the podium is huge for me. Second Josh Grant, Wildomar, Calif., place is great, and I will go after Kawasaki ENIGMA

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ŠChris Eason

Husqvarna

Broc Tickle, Holly, Mich., Suzuki, 96

Weston Peick, Menifee, Calif., Yamaha Eastern Regional 250SX Class Results: Atlanta 45500SSXX CCll aass ss SSeeaa ssoonn SSttaa nnddii nnggss 4 Marvin Musquin, Corona, Calif., Ryan Dungey, Belle Plaine, Minn., KTM KTM, 199 Jeremy Martin, Millville., Minn., Trey Canard, Edmond, Okla., Yamaha Honda, 169 Justin Bogle, Cushing, Okla., Honda Ken Roczen, Clermont, Fla., Suzuki, 156 Joey Savatgy Thomasville, Ga., Kawasaki Eli Tomac, Cortez, Colo., Honda, 137 James Decotis, Peabody, Mass., Jason Anderson, Edgewood, N.M., Honda Husqvarna, 126 Martin Davalos, Corona, Calif.,

Chad Reed, Dade City, Fla., Husqvarna Kawasaki, 124 Arnaud Tonus, Aire-la-Ville, Cole Seely, Laguna Beach, Calif., Switzerland, Kawasaki Honda, 120 Anthony Rodriguez, Cairo, Ga., Blake Baggett, Grand Terrace, Yamaha Calif., Suzuki, 115 RJ Hampshire, Hudson, Fla., Honda, Andrew Short, Smithville, Texas, Honda KTM, 100 Luke Renzland, Hewitt, N.J., ENIGMA

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Yamaha Eastern Regional 250SX Class Season Standings Marvin Musquin, Corona, Calif., KTM, 72 Jeremy Martin, Millville., Minn., Yamaha, 65 Justin Bogle, Cushing, Okla., Honda, 62

Elijah Odom, Dawsonville, Ga., KTM Tyler Bowers, Corona, Calif., Kawasaki, 104 Arnaud Tonus, Aire-la-Ville, Andrew Segars, Sumter, S.C., KTM Zach Osborne, Chesterfield, S.C., Switzerland, Kawasaki, 38 Seth Mahlstedt, Crane, Mo., KTM Husqvarna, 102 RJ Hampshire, Hudson, Fla., Honda, Kameron Nath, Cheyenne, Wy., Shane McElrath, Canton, N.C., KTM, Honda, 38 KTM 86 Anthony Rodriguez, Cairo, Ga., Texas Lindsey, Surprise, Ariz., KTM Aaron Plessinger, Hamilton, Ohio, Yamaha, 34 Yamaha, 81 KTTM K M JJuunnii oorr SSuuppee rrccrr ooss ss CC hhaa llll eennggee Marshall Cochran, Blountville, RReess uull ttss:: A Attll aannttaa Tenn., KTM Justin Hill, Yoncalla, Ore., KTM, 79 Honda, 38

Joey Savatgy Thomasville, Ga., Austin Weinsziehr, Amanda, Ohio, KTM Kawasaki, 54

W eessttee rrnn RReeggii oonnaa ll 225500SSXX CC llaa ssss W SSeeaass oonn SSttaannddiinnggss

Josh Hansen, Kawasaki, 79

Elbert,

Colo.,

Alex Martin, Millville, Minn., Martin Davalos, Corona, Calif., Caden Murphy, Thomaston, Ga., Cooper Webb, Newport, N.C., Yamaha, 75 KTM Husqvarna, 45 Yamaha, 136 Malcolm Stewart, Haines City, Fla., Matt Lemoine, Pilot Point, Texas, Jesse Parkey, Canutillo, Texas, KTM Jessy Nelson, Paso Robles, Calif., Honda, 69 Kawasaki, 39 KTM, 106 Kyle Heald, Corona, Calif., KTM Vince Friese, Cape Girardeau, Mo.,

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CAUGHT IN THE ACT

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APRIL 2 2015

AT BUD’S SPORTS BAR CHATTANOOGA, TN

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PHOTOS BY MARK NORTHERN


Angels Amongst Us at Tuscaloosa Regional Air Show

Photos by Chris Eason

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Trouble In Turn Four It’s the biggest NASCAR event of He had gone to a very prestigious the year. boarding school in New England and graduated with honors from It’s a TV blowout surpassed by only Penn State. the Super Bowl. It’s the Daytona 500 that is seen by a worldwide\ He was raised by a family that was audience in the tens of millions. sent to the U.S. ten years before he arrived. What a show. They had a small contentious stare As Mohamed thought of this, his and had their income supplementmind was working overtime. ed by cash transfers to help pay for his school and all their expens“What can I do to get the attention es. that 9-11 got without all the preparations involved in that event?” His handlers in his country kept close watch over him to be sure He had a hatred for the U.S. since their investment would pay off in he was six years old when his fam- the future. ily was killed in an air attack by Now it was time. the hated Jewish Air Force. They had been flying planes made and given to the Jerusalem Air Force by the U.S. government. He had been a religious zealot since that time.

two or three at the most.

To be sure of their target they even altered the July race in The Daytona 500 was finally cho- Daytona to get a good feel for the sen. place. They went about the planning in Blowing up the grandstands wasn’t great detail. an option. It wasn’t spectacular enough.

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Many events were discussed and hashed over.

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They wanted maximum exposure. In other words they wanted more “bang” for the buck.

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He had been traveling and prepared to fit into American society It needed to be an event that didand not raise any suspicions. n’t require a large crew – maybe ENIGMA

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They need something special, a cars have no escape and all 43 end moment when everyone and every up in a twisted, mangled mess. camera was focused on one point. “What the hell!” is the first words If you are not familiar with the out of the TV booth. The crowd is track in Daytona, it is NASCAR’s silent. pride. Four level sweeping turns loose to the two straight-aways Now everything springs into where speeds of over 200 mph are action. The fire truck and EMS common. spring into action. Some drivers are able to get out of their cars Sometimes the field (all 43 cars) is and start helping the other drivers bunched together within inches of exit their cars. The two front rows each other – madness on four are beyond help. What a mess. wheels. Pit crew members are on the It was when the cars were racing scene, each man trying to help when the event should have taken anyone that needs help. What a place. mess. To get into the infield there are several ways. Before the race gates are open and you can drive across the track. There is also a tunnel under the back in the area of turn four. This tunnel is used before and during the race. It’s kept open for late arrivals to enter and others to leave when needed. This had to be the spot – the tunnel. It was a great plan to be coordinated to the split second. A mini van with the walls, floor and roof packed with high explosives was the instrument of destruction.

When he arrived at the meeting he was surprised there were only three people there. He expected a larger group to honor him.

After a warm welcome they settled That’s the way it had to be the perdown to eat and discuss what son in his government that was in should be done to plan for the charge of his thought. future. The stupid U.S. government cannot Halfway through the meal he felt a send any Rangers to kill anyone strange feeling rising in his chest. because they cannot prove anyThen he fell over dead. thing. “We couldn’t take a chance of him As far as Mohamed is concerned, being teased,” his handler thought. now he is in heaven with his 70 virgins. “He had to be eliminated.” Within two days his adopted fami-

The media is going wild. Panic sets in the streets as people try to exit, get to their cars and get away from the danger. All over the world there is shock. It is show up close in detail on TV. Over and over again the huge pileup is shown from every angle. The results are exactly what Mohamed and his crew wanted.

He made his way to the exit as all hell was raging inside the track. At the appointed time he met up with his crew as they drove away north The plan required a spotter in the from Daytona. infield to send the signal to blow up the van. All the radio networks were reporting every detail of the inciThe plan was simple. As the race dent. TV was alive with replays starts one person outside the track and up to date details. – ticket in hand starts to drive through the tunnel. When he gets Eight drivers died in the initial to the proper spot he cut the crash. Six more were taken to the engine and exits the tunnel at a hospital in critical condition. All rapid speed and escape leaving the in all 43 cars were totaled. Praise van in the middle under the track. Allah – what a victory. As the cars approach turn two the When he got back home, he was electronic trigger is activated. summoned to a secret meeting with his handlers. He was elated. Halfway between turns three and four until the cars are grouped “I will finally get to go back to my together at 175-200 mph – the tun- homeland as a hero,” he thought. nel is blown. “My dead family has finally been avenged. I have avenged their There is no way to stop - all the death and honored them.” ENIGMA

ly and his team were all killed. There was no way anything could be traced. No one to blame was alive.

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- Paul Burke Sr.





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