Embedding human connection in services and systems
20 co-learners, 16 insights
A key, shared insight across our collective of learners on the Deepr Learning Marathon, was that human connection requires us to ‘go inward to go outward’. In other words, connecting to self is an essential part of connecting to others - and a crucial step towards designing spaces, services and systems within which other people will connect.
Understanding human connection on a very personal level gives you authentic, lived experience and understanding that you can then apply outward, with greater empathy, authenticity and humanity.
Here’s a collection of our top insights: 8 tips for ‘going inward’ and 8 tips for ‘going outward’.
How to go inward
Before boldly going out into the world to embed human connection in services and systems, here are 8 tips for starting within…
Connection happens when we let go
Focusing too hard on connecting can get in the way of connection, and overthinking can be the enemy of the spontaneity that connection requires to flourish. Practising letting go and being present can help you prepare yourself for connection.
“Opening up to spontaneity and synchronicity, getting ourselves off the scripts that previously trapped us, and getting ourselves sufficiently out of the way, are essential ingredients to living and working within human connection.”
- Emily Stewart
2There is wisdom in disconnection
Moments of disconnection can be invaluable opportunities to learn about connection ‘from the other side of the coin’. Feelings of disconnection can be unpleasant, but if you can turn towards curiosity rather than judgement, your understanding will deepen.
“If you find yourself there, the shadow side of connection is an invitation to lean in, reach for that root. For understanding disconnection offers new perspectives and reveals hidden pathways to deeper human connection.”
- Ellie Osborne
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Love is space
If your time and attention is all tied up with work and life, there will be no space left for others, and no space for meaningful connection. Making space is therefore an act of love, and an act of preparing oneself for connection with other people.
“Love is space. It is developing our own capacity for spaciousness within ourselves to allow others to be as they are. That is love.” - Rev. angel Kyodo williams
“When I tend to spaciousness, human connection echoes its depth back to me.” - Ellie Osborne
4Connection as a source of strength
Beyond human connection, we can explore our connection to the broader web of life. This is both powerful inspiration for human connection, and a powerful reminder that one of the reasons we need human connection is because we live within a much wider web of interdependent connections.
“I learned about interdependence and the value of acknowledging our connection to this planet. Learning about this had a unique strengthening effect for me. I'm exploring ways to draw strength from this insight over and over.”
- Sesh Vedachalam
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Old patterns die hard
We hold onto past traumas in our bodies and they can show up physically when we get triggered, and this often gets in the way of human connection. Exploring your own triggers can be a powerful way to remove personal barriers to connection.
“We tend to be quite bad at breaking patterns of trauma for fear of more trauma, and breaking patterns which we've found safety in can be traumatic, so giving attention and intention to how to appreciate, grieve the loss of and say goodbye to old patterns is really important.” - Daniel Ford
6Be fluid with roles
Building connections, particularly between people with very different identities and realities, is easier when you aren’t trapped or stuck in one role, identity or viewpoint. You might start by noticing how many ‘selves’ you can find within yourself, and how many identities.
“It's about finding the path to seeing the other in yourself, and seeing your own patterns and shadows differently as a result. Change happens when there's role flexibility.”
- Daniel Ford
“How does our sense of connection change based on the self we’re giving most energy to in that moment?” - Sophie Howe
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7‘Being’ human connection
If you want to design for human connection, first ask yourself some questions. Why are you doing this? How authentic are your motivations? Inauthenticity and meaningful connection are mutually exclusive, so explore your personal motivations first.
“You must 'be' all about human connection before you can 'do' human connection in your work.” - Rebecca Birch
8Practice. Practice. Practice.
Human connection certainly isn’t an inevitability in a world of distraction. Our capacity to connect can be infinitely developed. Practice doesn’t necessarily mean practicing connection, but developing your self as a raw material for connection.
“The practice might be asking different questions, it might be silence, emptying, approaching with curiosity, getting back into our bodies so we can perceive from a grounded place, or facilitating a conversation that opens up new possibilities.” - Emily Stewart
“By being brave, every moment can be a moment for learning how to connect better!” - Steph Hall
How to go outward
Here are our insights for how to design for human connection out in the world...
1Reduce separation
It might sound obvious, but reduce separation between people to increase human connection. Sometimes it can be easier and more fruitful to think about how to reduce separation than how to enhance connection directly.
“Ask the question when designing, ‘will this bring them closer together, or move them further apart?” - Matt McStravick
2Reduce distraction
Reducing distraction can be a strategy for encouraging connection. Whether you’re designing an event, a service or something else, think about the distractions that face your audience on their user journey and consider how they can be reduced.
“Where there is constant competition for our attention, we need to be really intentional in sensing what connection needs we have, rather that being pulled around by technology.”
- Steph Hall
Human connection breeds itself
We’ve learnt that connection paves the way for more connection, so micro actions can bring macro results. Initiating some connection within your designs can set off a positive reinforcing loop, encouraging more connection elsewhere in the system.
“Human connection breeds human connection.” - Rebecca Birch
“During my learning journey, almost by accident, I discovered the power that even just one small action or question can have on connection. Micro actions can bring macro results.” - Sophie Howe
Invitation as intervention point
An invitation to human connection has roots in vulnerability and trust. Whether it’s a glance, a smile, a wave, a notification, a gift, an invitation starts an exchange of vulnerability. It is often the start of a user journey, so worth investing design energy in.
“An invitation asks all involved to be exposed, even just for a moment. It says ‘look at this vulnerability, I trust you with mine, will you trust me with yours?’“ - Ellie Osborne
“Invites and follow ups are vital for coming together well”India Roche
“We can all play a part in creating trusting relationships and we can design spaces to create the conditions for trust, often through inviting vulnerability.” - Daniel Ford
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Non-humans as catalysts
If you’re designing for human connection, you might forget to look beyond the human realm for inspiration and tools for connection.
If you’re designing an event, a service or something else, how might you connect your users in other ways?
“Many non-human aspects of life can act as catalysts for human connection and self-knowledge - whether natural, spiritual, musical, digital, architectural etc.” - Sophie Howe
“Human connection to the earth, being with nature as opposed to taking from it is an essential resource for our body, mind and soul.” - Kaz Hawkins
Draw on ritual
At first glance the ancient idea of ritual might seem like it has no connection to the idea of modern services and systems. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Ritual supports people through transitional times and challenges..
“Giving attention and intention to how to appreciate, grieve the loss of and say goodbye to old patterns is really important. Rituals are great ways of doing this!” - Daniel Ford
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Warm and cold service elements
Every system or service is made up of warm (human) and cold (technical) elements and functions. Often we try to get warm elements to do cold jobs and cold elements to do warm jobs. Matching warm with warm and cold with cold can help the moments for human connection remain uninterrupted.
“When designing, focus on both warm and cold elements - but focus more on the warm ones, as when these are designed for human connection, they will be able fix the system when some thing goes wrong.” - Matt McStravick
Connection can be best left as a consequence
It might seem contradictory after listing tips for how to create human connection, to suggest that sometimes connection should sometimes be a consequence rather than the central goal.
Thinking about how to design the conditions for connection rather than connection itself can be helpful.
“In my experience, connection is best left as a consequence, not a direct intention. Having this conscious purpose can skewer the thing, can make the moment inauthentic”
- Emily Stewart
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Thank you
