CHANGING DIRECTION | THE PERSONAL IMPACT OF LEAVING A CORPORATE TO CREATE A STARTUP
WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR JOB AND START AS AN ENTREPRENEUR, THE FIRST THING THAT HAPPENS IS THE MONEY STOPS. having to start from nothing. With your HSBC Investment Bank business card and an email address ending with “@hsbc.co.uk,” you get a swift response from most people you write to. At the time, you feel it’s because of you and your expertise- but without it, you quickly realize people were responding mainly to the corporate brand. Replacing this takes time, and a lot of effort, as there are no shortcuts. An example of this is that at HSBC, every law firm wanted to work for us. I assumed this was what law firms were like. Then, when we had started NOW Money, we met and spoke to every firm we could in Dubai, and found only one firm that would even open a meaningful dialogue with us. It was the same story with potential investors, banks, partners, clients. Everything had to start from scratch. Every ounce of respect and traction was earned with hard graft- we got no head start with anyone. A big thing that helped for us was moving from working from Katharine’s front room to a co-working space, where we were all of a sudden in the middle of a network of people experiencing similar issues, on whom we could lean on to help with advice and contacts to get issues sorted. The time pressure, lack of money, and feeling of having to start from nothing inevitably have an impact on your personal life. We closed a funding round whilst I was on honeymoon (In hindsight, this was not a good idea!), been issued with legal notices at Christmas, and my daughter was born at the most stressful time running the business to date. Some of these, I’ll look back on as real milestones; all are, I know, great learning experiences, but none are particularly enjoyable for anyone that is close to, or relies on, you. I am fortunate to have Lucy Dillon as my wife, who is the most wonderful and supportive person I know, but I have no doubt I have tested her to the limit! >>>
Likeability in business WHY WE NEED IT MORE THAN EVER WHEN WE DO BUSINESS, we do it through relationships. We select whom we want to engage with, and whom we come back to for more. The ability to make a real connection, and make the other person like you is a big part of your success or failure. It can be useful to look at it from the angle of positional and personal power. Sometimes positional power makes it possible for us to engage in any way we want. The people we are trying to reach simply have to respond. But the way they do, of course, is affected by our likeability, or lack thereof. In the new gig economy with more and more entrepreneurs, we cannot lean on positional power only. Even for employees inside organizations, an entrepreneurial mindset is often desired. Part of that mindset is knowing how to navigate and connect, while making ourselves likeable. I’ve supported several stellar professionals make the transition from a big corporate position to create their own venture and brand, witnessing their surprise when they discover a need for a whole new approach. On the journey of acquiring personal power, likeability changes from a nice-to-have to a vital career resource.
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Defining likeability is a strange thing; at the same time, an intuitive gut feeling, and a series of different traits. In his book, The Popularity Illusion, Mitch Prinstein describes likeable people as cooperative, able to keep a conversation going, while giving others a chance to speak, and creative at solving awkward dilemmas. In short, they’re good at being part of a group. It’s finding that gentle balance of feeling comfortable in our own skin to share and lead, without the need to dominate. The road to get there starts right at home. Before anything else, we need to like ourselves. In the same way as the instructions for oxygen masks in the airplane, we need to put our own mask on first, and then we can begin to help others. When we let go of judgment towards ourselves, it’s so much easier to like people around us. The relationship between the two is parallel. Once we’ve landed in a safe haven of self-acceptance, we make it easier for other people to join in and like us, too. Here are three strategies that have made it possible for me to create that special link with strangers and collaborators across almost any distance, be it geographical, socio-economical, or among different business sectors. 1. BE ROOTED When we meet a new person, the first thing we pick up is a quality of trust: friend or foe? And the way we know is that feeling of presence. When it comes to trust, it doesn’t typically show up in grey scales or a continuum, it’s an either-or. One of the reasons it’s not always that easy to come across to others as authentic is because we tend to be in a mental space. Or, using the poignant description by James Joyce, “Mr. Duffy lived a short distance from his body.” When we stay up in our head, it’s easier for others to manipulate us, both physically and on an emotional level. Without connection to our core, we have a hard time drawing boundaries when confronted with a strong will we don’t agree with. >>>
November 2019 / E N T R E P R E N E U R . C O M / 61
