Equippingthemaninthemirrorjulyaugsept2013

I need to talk about a problem.

Good. I’m sure I can fix that for you.

Table of Contents July/August/September 2013

Featured Articles

q First Things First by David Delk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 q Deciphering the Gender Code by Brett Clemmer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 q Are You Free? by Pete Alwinson. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 q Man Alive book excerpt by Dr. Patrick Morley. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 q Reach More Men Than Ever. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 q The Area Directors Speak Out: Freedom in Christ. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59 q Four Questions for James Raffenaud: Host of The Marriage Show. . . . . . . . . . 60

Resource Tools

q Equipping Your Men’s Small Group. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 q How to Use This Devotional . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 q Resource Catalog . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

Devotions

q July 2013 Devotions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 q August 2013 Devotions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28 q September 2013 Devotions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45

Special thanks to Ronn Read for writing the devotions on pages 21–23. Ronn is the Man in the Mirror Area Director for Northwest Chicago. Ronn has over 30 years of pastoral leadership and now shares his experience and heart for men’s discipleship with the pastors and churches in the suburbs of Chicago. He and his wife, Janie, reside in Wauconda, Illinois.

Follow the One-Year Bible reading plan by reading the daily Scripture at the end of each devotion. To see the complete reading plan, go to oneyearbibleonline.com.

At the end of many of the devotionals you will find an abbreviation for a resource that expands on the devotional material. For more information about the Man in the Mirror Bible Study (MIMBS) go to maninthemirror. org/archives/categories. :MIMBS 1—Freedom (Brett Clemmer) :MIMBS 2—A Practical Education :MIMBS 3—A Performance Appraisal :MIMBS 4—Expensive Decisions :MIMBS 5—The Act of Productivity :MIMBS 6—God Cares About Me Personally

:MIMBS 7—Wiring of a Man :MIMBS 8—Footsteps of Jesus (David Delk) :MIMBS 9—Lead-Follow Jesus (David Delk) :MIMBS 10—Chemistry Between Fathers and Sons :MIMBS 11—Communicate with Confidence :ALM 31—How to Be a Cheerful Giver

Equipping the Man in the Mirror: July/August/September 2013, Vol. 8, No. 3 Publisher: Man in the Mirror, Inc. • CEO: Patrick Morley • Executive Editors: David Delk and Brett Clemmer Publication Manager: Lucy Blair • Art Director: Cathleen Kwas • Writers: Lucy Blair and Ruth Ford Office: 180 Wilshire Blvd., Casselberry, Florida 32707 Phone: 800-929-2536 • Fax: 407-331-7839 • Web site: maninthemirror.org Copyright © 2013 by Patrick Morley and Man in the Mirror, Inc. All rights reserved.

Subscription Information: One year—$25. Two years—$43. For reprint requests or bulk subscriptions call 407-472-2100 or send an email to EQMIM@maninthemirror.org and ask for reprint permissions.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2010 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. SAll rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. Scripture marked nkjv taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982

by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

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Join the

Journey

Leaders, take your men on the Journey to Biblical Manhood, a flexible process that churches can customize to disciple all their men—not just the ones who will attend men’s-only activities.

First Things First Celebrating Freedom In the U.S., July 4 is Independence Day. It’s a day of fireworks, concerts and barbecues. We celebrate the founders of our nation declaring that they would be independent.

They wanted freedom and self-determination.

In life, freedom is a double-edged sword. We often say we want to be “free”, but what we mean is that we don’t want anyone to tell us what to do. The Bible tells us that self-determination is no such thing—it is really a life ruled by sin, what Paul called the flesh.

3312 Challenges addressing key areas of a man’s life

33Based on the No Man Left Behind Model*

Freedom in Christ is one of those Christian clichés you hear around the church, but what does it really mean? Pete Alwinson asks the question, “Are You Free?” (page 8). Plus, we asked our Area Directors the question, “What does freedom in Christ mean?” (page 59).

33Step-by-step instructions and timelines for leaders

33Subscription- and web-based for easy use by your leaders

Speaking in (Gender) Code

33Free logos, graphics, promotional videos, and templates

33Based on Man in the Mirror’s 25+ years of experience with thousands of churches.

33Free coaching from Man in the Mirror 33Free resources and ideas to make each challenge “all-inclusive” 33Customizable assessments for your men

*Churches that have implemented the No Man Left Behind Model report that in an average of just two and a half years, they had 48% more men attending church, and 84% more men involved in discipleship activities.

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We all know that men and women seem to look at the world differently. Nowhere is this more evident than in the way that we communicate. You want to get to the point, solve the problem, accomplish the task. She wants to share, discuss and process. Are these cultural differences or are we really uniquely wired?

Gender equality is often a masquerade for gender neutrality.

Society wants to assert that our differences are merely cultural. That gender doesn’t really matter. But objective science doesn’t agree.

Deciphering the Gender Code (page 4) looks at the biblical and psychological foundations for the differences between men and women. God created us this way for a reason, so that we would fit together better. It started in Genesis and continues today. Modern psychology confirms it.

Are men and women different? You bet! But with the proper perspective we can see that this is part of God’s perfect plan. He loves us so much that He makes us different from each other.

Connect With Us Online Man in the Mirror has several online tools to help leaders as they disciple men. Our website at maninthemirror.org has thousands of resources, articles, Bible Studies and videos—most of them free.

Ready to start the Journey with your men?

Go to journeytobiblicalmanhood.org.

You can also learn more at journeytobiblicalmanhood.org about reaching all the men of your church with a comprehensive men’s discipleship approach. And we maintain a steady stream of information and inspiration through our Facebook page and Twitter feeds. So get connected today!

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Deciphering the Gender Code

by Brett Clemmer, Vice President of Man in the Mirror

workaholism or laziness. Two extremes of the same taint on our view of work. In both cases, something is taking the place of God in our worldview—either relationships or work becomes an idol.

Article continues on page 6

It was early in our marriage. I don’t remember the specifics, only that there was a major communication breakdown. We were both talking in perfectly coherent speech. But we obviously were not speaking the same language. And it wasn’t the first time. Finally, it dawned on me what was going on.

I had married an alien.

There really was no other explanation possible. There was some kind of language barrier going on. Like one of us was a native English speaker, and the other learned the language later. Maybe at the Greater Intergalactic Royal Language School (GIRLS).

These communication breakdowns illustrate a larger, and more obvious, point.

We’re different. And while this can create difficulties at times, in the long run, it actually makes our lives work better than if we were all the same.

Women

Most men tend to seek emotional space, while women tend to seek emotional intimacy.

Positive: Helps men to maintain objectivity.

Positive: Allows women to step into each other’s lives easily and develop relationships quickly.

Negative: Might make a man seem cold or uncomfortable with emotional expression.

Negative: Can sometimes ignore the facts of a situation based on emotional needs subject to manipulation.

Most men tend to seek challenges while women seek security or safety.

Eve Got the Raw End of the Deal

Positive: Gets things done. Willing to take risks.

Positive: Can help avoid unnecessary risks.

Takes the long-term view.

If we go back to the creation accounts in Genesis we can see that these differences were intentional on God’s part. In Genesis 2:18 we read, The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Negative: Can be very short-sighted. Can lead to excessive risk-taking and dangerous behavior.

Negative: Can get “stuck,” not realize your potential (or keep your mate from realizing his)

The word translated as “suitable” here might better be translated as “corresponding.” In other words, God didn’t say that the man needed a helper to meet his needs—that’s why none of the animals were “suitable.” Rather, the man needed someone who could work with him, to fill in the gaps, so to speak. By definition, then, this person would be different from the man. And along came Eve. Eventually, they sinned. Eve’s initial sin was believing the word of the serpent over God’s own words. Adam’s initial sin was one of inaction: he stood there and watched while the serpent deceived his wife. Not to go off on a tangent here, but, Hey guys! If a serpent is tricking your wife into sinning against God, you shouldn’t stand there and watch. You should pick up a stick and kill the serpent!

Adam and Even compounded their sin by hiding from God, then Adam actually blamed God and Eve for his sin: “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree . . . ” Nice one, Adam. And then the curse. Actually, curses.

And here is where Eve got the raw end of the deal.

For women, the curse of pain in childbearing is not the worst part. The rest of Genesis 3:16 says, “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”

That’s a terrible curse! Man’s curse is that it will be a lot harder for our work to be productive (vv 17-19).

So the woman’s curse was relational, and the man’s curse was task-oriented. And this summarizes a major difference between the average woman and man—and explains much of the sin and frustration in the world. A woman is wired for relationship—“a helper”—and this was corrupted by sin. For instance, women often ache for marriage and won’t leave an abusive relationship for fear of being alone.

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Men

A man is wired for task—God “put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it” (Gen 2:15)—and this also was corrupted by sin. Thus, men tend towards

Most men tend to “fix” rather than “accept.”

Positive: Focus on problem-solving. If no one wanted to fixed anything, everything would stay broken.

Positive: Better suited for walking through things with people, rather than fixing them.

Negative: Can look at everything as a problem to be solved, rather than an experience to learn from.

Negative: Can focus on the emotional at the expense of dealing with issues decisively.

Most men tend to process information linearly, while women process in a more integrated fashion.

Positive: Methodical approach. Don’t get confused by unrelated information or details.

Positive: Better able to see the big picture.

Allows for the “both/and.”

Negative: Everything is “either/or.” Can’t see the forest for the trees.

Negative: Trying to do too much at once.

Multi-tasking can lead to mediocrity or feeling overwhelmed.

Most men tend to experience frustration as explosive anger while women experience frustration through a variety of emotional escalations.

Positive: Will tolerate a lot of minor frustrations if the task is getting done.

Positive: Venting as you go can help release pressure.

Negative: Explosive anger is never good. Might have been able to head off the frustration if expressed earlier.

Negative: Can come across as nagging.

Chart: Gender "Rules" Men and women tend to see life differently. Each has advantages and disadvantages.

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Deciphering the Gender Code continued from page 5

showing this to your wife, this is just for her: Ladies, don’t take advantage of your husband’s discomfort with tears by using them to get what you want. It’s fighting dirty. And it’s actually undermining your intimacy. When he figures it out, he will be hurt and he will withdraw from you emotionally.)

Uniquely Wired Modern psychology has come to the same conclusion. In a study he wrote about in his book, Sixteen Men, psychologist Dr. Loren Pedersen found that, contrary to academic opinion that all gender differences are cultural, there are actually a set of traits that are very different in the majority of men and women.

He found that about two thirds of men tend toward “thinking”, and two thirds of women tend toward “feeling” when giving a Myers-Briggs personality inventory. This gives us insight into how women and men view and react to the world differently. These are generalizations, of course. But they ring true for the vast proportion of my own experiences, and for most men (and women) I have talked to.

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Listen responsively. Our wives need to be acknowledged. To you, your silence when she talks to you means, “I heard you. I get it. I don’t have any questions.” To her it means, “I’m not really listening to you.” Whether she’s sharing a problem or asking you to take out the garbage, acknowledge what she’s saying.

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Sex. For a guy, sex goes great on the To Do list. We’re usually happy to accomplish this task whenever asked! For a woman, sex is a celebration of the relationship. It is the culmination of a series of events and feelings that make her want to be close to you. Be careful about the language you use when talking about sex. Don’t expect to come in at the end of a hard day, say two words to her during dinner, watch ESPN while she does the dishes, kiss the kids on the forehead before she puts them to bed, and then for your wife to be in the mood for intimacy with you.

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Pray. Pray for your wife, and pray with your wife. When you don’t feel like much of a spiritual leader, it’s tough to feel like she will even want to pray with you. But she does.

Give your wife a hug before you leave in the morning and say, “Can I pray for us real quick?” Then ask God to protect your wife, to be with her throughout the day, and for Him to help you be the best husband you can be. This will change your heart and hers.

Since men tend towards “thinking,” it makes us more oriented toward problem solving. We also are more willing to take on challenges often because we feel like we have assessed the “risk-reward” equation to our satisfaction. The ramifications of this are that we often want to “fix” everything. We can also be arrogant and even unsafe.

Since women tend towards the “feeling” side, it makes them more sensitive to a person’s emotions, seeking connection and intimacy. This can make men uncomfortable.

Using Pedersen’s study, Geoff Gorsuch with the Navigators created a set of “rules” that help to generally describe how men and women see the world. Look at the table on page 5 to see the ramifications—both positive and negative—of each approach.

Embrace the Differences The attributes and tendencies of men are often used—on TV, in movies, even in sermon illustrations—for comic relief. We are portrayed as emotionally clueless buffoons.

The important thing to remember about these differences is that they do not give either gender an advantage over the other. Going back to the word in Genesis, they are corresponding. We fit together like pieces of a puzzle. My strengths match up to my wife’s areas of need, and her strengths match up with my areas of need. They help us in our parenting, managing our household, involvement in church, and our friendships.

Here are some “tips” for inter-species—oops, I mean inter-gender—communication. You can share these with your wife as well!

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Sharing problems. When a guy shares a problem, 99% of the time it means he is looking for a solution. When a woman shares a problem—particularly with her husband—it usually means she wants to share the problem. Share, as in, bearing one another’s burdens. This became clear to me one day when my wife had shared a problem with me. I was about 3 sentences into telling her how to solve it when she said, “I’m not stupid. I know what to do. That’s not why I told you. I just needed to talk with you about it.” She was sharing with me (relationship), not looking for me to tell her what to do (task).

Don’t fear the tears. Don’t be manipulated by them either. Guys express emotions in two ways: silence and explosion. Women escalate in phases. Just because she’s crying doesn’t mean she’s desperate. When your wife cries, more often than not she just needs you to connect with her emotionally. Hug her, tell her you’re sorry she’s sad, tell her you love her and that God does too. But don’t freak out. (And if you’re

Take Heart!

We did a workshop on this topic at FUEL 2013. Most of the attendees were wives. I was explaining to them the perspective their husbands have and how different it is from their own. I found myself somewhat apologetic for men and our focus on task over relationship.

But then, one of the wives said something profound: “Don’t apologize for how men are! My husband is just like you described, and I like it! We need someone in our marriage who can put the emotions aside and make a tough decision. I need someone who will push me to take risks. It’s good for me that he focuses on things one at a time while I’m trying to do five things at once and feeling overwhelmed. God made us this way for a reason. I’ll take the negatives, because the positives are so great.” Wise words.

So take heart! God made you the way you are. And He made the women in our lives the way they are as well. If you’ll pay attention and realize the motivations of a woman’s heart, you will (usually) be able to decipher the gender code.

Success That Matters and Marriage Prayer events provide many useful lessons for couples wanting a better marriage. Think about bringing one of these events to your church. Go to maninthemirror.org and select the ‘Events for your men’ icon for more information.

• Brett Clemmer

Brett Clemmer is Vice President of Leadership Development with Man in the Mirror. Brett and his wife, Kimberly, live in Casselberry, Florida, and have two teenaged children, Cassidy and Jackson.

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Are You Free?

by Pete Alwinson

“What will you do without freedom?” William Wallace (Mel Gibson in Braveheart) yells out to the Scots, mobilizing them to battle the Brits. At his execution he yells, “Freedom!” Freedom is forcefully and radically central to the Gospel. What will we do without freedom? Live enslaved and fail as men. The cry “Freedom!” rings in our ears, clears our mind and starts our hearts racing to really live.

Man Alive

by Dr. Patrick Morley

Gospel Freedom is Freedom from…

•The • fear and reality of God’s legitimate condemnation of us.

In fact, I’d estimate that 90% of men lead lukewarm, often defeated lives—and they hate it. Their instincts are screaming, “There must be more.”

John 3:16 speaks of believing in Christ and therefore not perishing, but having everlasting life. Once we’re created we never cease to exist, therefore “perishing” means sinners who reject Jesus experience God’s just and eternal wrath, not annihilation. This is a horrible reality showing every person’s danger before a Holy God. The Law of God condemns every one of us (Romans 3) and there are no loopholes!

Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection immediately evaporate the fear of condemnation for the believer.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2

•Any • attempt to follow any system designed to produce self-justification.

Christianity is not “Jesus and____”. It’s Jesus work, alone. Read Galatians. Some Christians wanted to go back to a system of “Jesus and the Law.” Can’t be done.

Need not be done! Why go back to slavery?

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

•Sin’s • controlling and killing power.

John 8 and Romans 6. As we disciples abide with Jesus, we are freed from the addictive, controlling, and personality and relationship destroying power of sin: So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32 Continued on page 58

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Adapted from Man Alive by Dr. Patrick Morley Copyright ©2012 by Man in the Mirror Press. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this adaptation may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Over the last four decades I’ve met one-on-one with thousands of men. These men know that Jesus promised, “My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10). They also know that they were created to lead powerful lives transformed by Christ. But most of the men I meet are confused about what that looks like.

Here’s a primer on Biblical Freedom that unleashes us as men on the great adventure of following Jesus Christ.

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The stakes are high. When a man fails, the collateral damage is staggering. A man leaves, a woman weeps herself to sleep, a little girl prays, “God, why is my daddy always so angry?”

When men try to put into words what keeps them from feeling fully alive—what’s holding them back—they invariably describe one or more of these seven “symptoms:” 44“I just feel like I am in this thing all alone.”

44“I don’t feel like God cares about me personally—not really.”

44“I don’t feel like my life has a purpose—it seems random.”

44“I have a lot of destructive behaviors that keep dragging me down.”

44“My soul feels dry.”

44“My most important relationships are not working.”

44“I don’t feel like I’m doing anything that will make a difference and leave

the world a better place.”

Do you feel the angst? These inner “aches and pains” correspond to seven deeply felt, primal needs. By “primal” I mean that as men we each have a raw, restless energy that’s different from women. It needs to be channeled…chiseled…transformed.

Man Alive will show a man how God has provided for him to transform that restless, primal energy he feels into a powerful spiritual life. Each chapter will flesh out how a man can satisfy one of his seven primal needs: to not feel alone, to believe that God really cares, to understand his purpose, to stop repeating destructive behaviors, to experience communion with God, to have healthy relationships, and to make a difference. We’ll explore how it feels when it’s not going right, what makes it so hard, and what to do about it.

No man should have to settle for half alive. It is the destiny of every Christian man to lead a powerful life transformed by Christ—not without ongoing opposition, but equipped and trained with resources to become the man God created him to be. I promise you: Man Alive scratches where men itch.

Now available in cases of 12 and 48 (for as low as $1.56/book, plus S/H) in the Books! by the Box program. Visit or use this QR Code to go to booksbythebox.org to order.

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Reach More Men Than Ever Quick! What was the last men’s event or activity that reached every man in your church? Did they all go on your last retreat? Did every man join you for the men’s BBQ? Did all the guys help out at your last service project?

The Journey to Biblical Manhood is designed to help you reach every man in your church. Some will participate in your focused activities of a specific challenge.

They will participate in the specific Create-Capture-Sustain cycle of activities, learning and life change that you offer. But many more can be impacted by the Journey without ever adding another activity to their plate.

The first step is to assess all the different places in your church that men are involved. Take out a piece of paper and brainstorm for a moment. Start with the men’s activities: men’s breakfast, retreat, softball team, small groups, etc. Next, think of the other ministries and activities where men are participating: ushers, worship team, Sunday School teachers, etc. Now, go a step farther and think about all the places your church touches men’s lives: for instance, their kids attend your pre-school or they attend worship services.

When we think of the men’s ministry, we tend to think of only the first list. An allinclusive mindset prompts you to reach men in all the different areas of the church where they may be participating. How do you do that?

First of all, communicate the Vision to all the men in the church. Last issue we talked about the Faith & Life Objective Cards. This sends a signal to the men in the church that you want every man to grow in knowledge and faith, and practical ways they will begin to live that out in their lives. Make sure every man in the church receives the card. JBM also provides you with a promotional video for each challenge that draws men in. Show this in church services and elsewhere to reach the greatest number of men.

Next, JBM provides you with tools to communicate with the leaders of those various ministries men are involved in. These templates help you explain where you’re going with the men and invite them to incorporate the message of the Challenge in their own interactions with men involved. It provides ideas and tools for them to use. It reassures them that you want to help them disciple the men God has put in their ministry, not try and coax them away or add another activity to their plate.

Finally, there are suggestions for how you can communicate with the men of your church via email or other means as you progress through the Challenge.

Even those who aren’t involved in the specific activities you’re offering can have common ground with the other men of the church. This might prompt those hallway conversations and lunchtime discussions about the topics and objectives of the Challenge “along the way.”

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Think about all the men in your church—or at least more men than just the ones that attend men’s-only activities—all going on this Journey together. Think about the impact it will have on their marriages, their families, the church and the world.

Equipping Your Men’s Small Group

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Get all your men engaged in the regular study of God’s Word by using this magazine as a small group tool. At the end of each week’s devotions, you’ll see a box containing discussion questions and exercises. These can form the basis of your time together. These pages supplement those questions with additional steps. If you use this magazine with your men this quarter you will have:

about r to make it more de or in y it tiv ac ✔✔ Changed a daily serving God. ens in your of the boys or te me so r fo t en ev ✔✔ Planned a fun church. laxation and each week for re e tim d en sp to ✔✔ Committed restoration. y cause. event for a worth ng isi ra nd fu a ed ✔✔ Organiz protection od praise for His G ng vi gi er ay pr ✔✔ Spent time in on your life. decision. ction in making a re di is H r fo od ✔✔ Asked G your life. d more balance in fin to s ay w d se us ✔✔ Disc od’s uncondiable to accept G be ld ou w u yo at ✔✔ Prayed th tional love. r your life. ssion statement fo ✔✔ Worked on a mi the impor4 to remind you of 32: s ian pp ili Ph ✔✔ Memorized good leader. tance of being a from surrenthat has kept you le ac st ob an ed ✔✔ Recogniz leadership. dering to God's ship that needs address a relation to n pla a ed lop ✔✔ Deve conciliation. forgiveness and re has to ight into what He ins r fo d or W ’s ✔✔ Searched God mmunication. say about good co Continued on page 12

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Equipping Your Men’s Small Group continued from page 11

r 7/1–7/7: In this week’s devotions, you’ll focus in on the importance of

serving God and making Him your Lord and Master. Suggested Application Step (SAS): List your favorite thing that happened in the last week for each of these three categories—work, home, church. As you look at those three events, were you primarily serving God or serving yourself? Any non-sinful activity can be used to glorify Him. What would you need to change to glorify the Lord more through your weekly activities?

r 7/8–7/14: These devotions teach you about the power that a mentor

has on the life of a child or teen. SAS: Mentoring begins with building a relationship with someone. Brainstorm some ways to build relationships with some of the boys or young men in your church.

Start with a fun activity (day of fishing, game night, minor league baseball game, etc.). Spend a few minutes planning how to implement the activity you choose.

r 7/15–7/21: In this week of devotions you’ll discover what it means to focus

on reconnection, relaxation, restoration and re-creation. SAS: Do you have any margin or free time built into your weekly schedule? Why or why not?

Discuss the difficulties of allowing yourself time to relax. Discuss the importance of allowing that time in your life. Commit to spending 15 minutes each day over the next week for the purpose of relaxation and restoration.

r 7/22–7/28: Our devotional theme this week is the impact that generous giving can have on the recipient as well the giver. SAS: Read aloud the devotional “The Greatest Cause” from page 25. How could your group get involved or raise funds for “The Greatest Cause” of sharing the Gospel and making disciples. Are there missionaries in your church, a shelter in your community or a youth organization that could use your help? Collect funds from your group or organize a fundraiser that would benefit one of those worthy causes. r 7/29–8/4: This week your men will learn the incredible value of God as our Protector and Shield. SAS: Share some times from the past when you saw God’s protection on your life or the lives of your children or grandchildren. Share what those times of protection mean to you.

Spend a few minutes in prayer thanking God for being your Shield and Protector. r 8/5–8/11: These devotionals remind you of the consequences of all of your decisions. SAS: Read aloud the following questions: How do I make decisions? Do I normally choose a course of action, and then ask God to bless it? If that is my habit, how can I tell if I’ve truly heard from God regarding this course of action? Who is my King in this situation—is it me, or is it Jesus? As you face a decision next week, consider these questions before making your choice.

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r 8/12–8/18: These devotions help you focus on the goal of living a productive, yet balanced life. SAS: On a white board or large sheet of paper, write two headings: productive/balanced and unproductive/unbalanced. On their own sheet of paper, ask the men to list aspects of their lives that fit under each heading. (Ex.: finances, family life, play, work, etc.)

Divide into groups of two and discuss ways to find balance in those areas of life that need it. r 8/19–8/25: This week you learn that God loves you and every one of His children with unconditional love. SAS: Pray this prayer every day this week. God, I want to believe that You love me unconditionally, but I can’t believe without Your help. I can’t repent or turn from my wrong ways without Your help. I’m asking You to help me repent. I’m sorry that I have not believed all of these signs You’ve given that You really do care about me. I receive it by faith. I trust that, because I’m Your son, You really do love me and care about me personally. I take it into my heart. Amen. r 8/26–9/1: The theme of these devotions is to remind of you that all men are wired to pursue a mission greater than themselves.

SAS: Reread the mission statement you wrote on page 45. Does it seem complete? Does it need some tweaking? Is it something that you and your wife could agree on? Take it home and read it to your wife and get her feedback. Come back next week and share what you learned from that interaction with your wife. r 9/2–9/8: This week’s devotionals address the definition of true leadership.

SAS: Read aloud these verses from several different translations: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others (Philippians 2:3-4). Choose one of those versions to memorize over the next week. From last week, share your discussion about your mission statement.

r 9/9–9/15: The theme of this week's devotionals is surrendering to God's leadership.

Discuss the various ways we try to control the circumstances of life. What are the obstacles to giving up control and surrendering to God's leadership? In silent prayer, ask God to reveal the obstacle that keeps you from serving under His leadership. r 9/16–9/22: These devotions teach you about the power of forgiveness, repentance and reconciliation. SAS: Open up with a few moments in silent prayer, asking God to show you any relationships in your life that may need forgiveness, repentance and reconciliation. If there is a relationship that needs work, what is going to be your first step? Are you willing to take that step this week? If so, what do you need to do in order to take that step? Pray about that plan. r 9/23–9/30: In this week’s devotions, you’ll see the importance being a good

communicator. SAS: Go to Biblegateway.com and type in words like: speak, listen, hear or communicate in the topic section. Choose some various versions or translations and read the verses that you find. Take time to read some of these passages as a group and study what God’s Word says about our speech and communication.

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How to Use This Devotional

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He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.

Ephesians 1:7 Nlt

To make the most of Equipping the Man in the Mirror, we have dissected a devotional so you don’t miss any aspect of the magazine (see below).

Completion checkbox

Source material

Correlating Scripture

One-year Bible daily reading

Discussion/ journal questions

Monday—July 1 • FREEDOM!

Many movies use the quest for freedom as a motivating force for their characters.

In Gladiator, the general who is taken as a slave has to fight for his life and in the end kills Caesar. The general dies in the end, but he dies a free man.

The Patriot is about the Revolutionary War. Those early colonists were willing to fight and die for freedom. This bloody revolution led to our Independence Day. Perhaps no movie speaks to freedom more than Braveheart. It is based on the story of William Wallace who fought on behalf of Scotland against England. At the end of the movie, Wallace was betrayed and captured by the British. He is given a choice

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of being killed quickly or killed slowly, but he refused to give up his freedom.

The quest for freedom is powerful. It motivates men to fight and spurs them on to great personal sacrifice. But true freedom can only be found through Christ’s sacrifice on the cross! MIMBS 1 Name three people, beliefs, or values for which you’d be willing to give your life. Do those commitments make you feel more free or less free? Why or why not?

Daily Reading: 2 Kings 18:13-19:37, Acts 21:117, Psalm 149:1-9, Proverbs 18:8

Tuesday—July 2 • Gotta Serve Somebody For you are free, yet you are God’s slaves, so don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do evil.

1Peter 2:16 Nlt

In the 1960s and 1970s, Bob Dylan arose as an influential singer-songwriter. Much of his music described the unrest that many young people were feeling at that time.

Through a conversion experience, Dylan said he had become a born-again Christian.

In 1979 his album titled, Slow Train Coming, was a testimony of his newfound faith in Jesus Christ, and the first song was Gotta Serve Somebody. The lyrics say, “It may be the devil or it may be the Lord, But you’re gonna have to serve somebody.”

That’s the paradox of freedom, there is no such thing as freedom to do anything; freedom is the freedom to

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choose what set of limitations you will live under.

We all have a daily choice to make, “Who are we going to serve?” Even doing nothing is making the choice. If you stay in bed and never get out of bed, who are you serving?

Whether you are working, working out, eating dinner with your family or reading a book at bedtime, there is always a motivation. Are you serving God or yourself? MIMBS 1 How will you answer that question today? Who are you serving at home, at work, in your neighborhood, at the softball game, in the traffic jam or at church?

Daily Reading: 2 Kings 20:1-22:2, Acts 21:18-36, Psalm 150:1-6, Proverbs 18:9-10

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Wednesday—July 3 • Freedom to Choose

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Joshua 24:15 Kjv Many people daydream about living a life of true freedom. We ask ourselves, what would I do if I won the lottery, if I didn’t have to work, if I were single or some other concept of freedom. We’d like to think that if our dreams came true, we’d be free to do whatever we wanted.

As Christians, we have freedom because of Christ’s sacrifice. His death paid a debt that we could never pay.

God loves us so much that He sent His Son to die in our place. We are now free to choose our master. We can serve God or we can serve sin.

Before the

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price was paid we had to be slaves to sin.

Now we have a choice. It would be nice to think that once we come to know God, that decision is over and done. But God continues to give us a choice, because He wants us to serve Him out of love. MIMBS 1 What freedom do you daydream about? Is that daydream helpful to you or not? How can the world’s definition of freedom just be another form of slavery? Share your thoughts with other men.

Daily Reading: 2 Kings 22:3-23:30, Acts 21:37-22:16, Psalm 1:1-6, Proverbs 18:11-12

Thursday—July 4 • Good, Bad, Right, Wrong I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.

Romans 7:19 nlt

Christ’s death and resurrection bought our freedom. But we still face the opportunity to sin or to love God every day.

In today’s Scripture verse, Paul speaks about that struggle we all face. We often know the best choice, but we don’t choose it. We know we shouldn’t sin, but we still sin.

We are free to sin. But sin has consequences and we see those consequences all around us. Dishonesty makes you untrustworthy. Adultery is a betrayal that has ruined countless marriages. God will always love us but lives are crushed because of our choice to sin.

This dilemma reveals the grace of God. In

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His omniscience, God knows that we will fail and we will sin. We will not always make the right choice. When we fail, He is waiting with open arms, ready to forgive. He is the God of 2nd, 3rd, 4th and more chances.

His unconditional love awaits us before and after every failure. MIMBS 1 What second chance has God given you for which you are very thankful? What lessons can you learn from reflecting on that experience?

Ask other men in your group to share their thoughts.

Daily Reading: 2 Kings 23:31-25:30, Acts 22:1723:10, Psalm 2:1-12, Proverbs 18:13

q Friday/Saturday/Sunday—July 5, 6, 7 • Love Your Neighbor For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Galatians 5:13, 14 Nlt If your want to love God, He very clearly says that you are also going to “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

There are two kinds of neighbors, the one who knows Christ and His love and the neighbor who doesn’t know or receive God’s love.

A man who hasn’t made the decision to follow Christ is looking out for number one.

He is a slave to sin. What does loving that neighbor look like?

Steve Brown, of Key Life, says, “Evangelism is simply one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.” We are all nothing without God. We fail, we sin, and we disappoint. The only difference between you and this neighbor is that you have found the love of God. Your neighbor needs to know that we are all the same—no better or worse. Your life is messy too. What sets you apart is that you have found that going to God and relying on Him gives meaning and purpose to life.

This neighbor needs to hear about God’s love, grace and mercy.

The other kind of neighbor we have is our brother in Christ. Your Christian community should be the most important set of relationships in your life. It is a place to share daily joys and sorrows. It’s where we care for each other during illness,

unemployment, or crisis. With shared beliefs and values, it’s a place of safety for your family. It can be a place of great celebration for weddings, baptisms and other milestones.

Unlike other more casual communities built around sports interests, hobbies, or neighborhoods, in the church we have more of a responsibility to be involved in one another’s lives. We also have great power as children of God. For example, Matthew 18 gives us instructions for the difficult issue of how to deal with sins committed by believers. It also tells us of the power that occurs when two or more are gathered together in His name.

More men need to take the relationships they have through their church more seriously, as seriously as God does.

He calls us to love, to really love, our neighbor. That takes time, intentionality, and effort. MIMBS 1 Do you have a neighbor who needs to hear about God’s love? Are you willing to love him by sharing your life with that neighbor? What keeps you from loving them well? Share this obstacle with your group.

Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 1:1-5:17, Acts 23:11-25:27, Psalm 3:1-5:12, Proverbs 18:1419

For Your Small Group

❏❏ July 1–7: Think of a person or fictional character that fought for freedom.

•• What characteristics made that person willing to fight for freedom?

•• What did freedom look like for that person? In other words, what was that person fighting to be free from? (tyranny, religion, persecution, injustice, etc.)

•• Where do you need freedom, and how can you fight for it?

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Monday—July 8 • Practical Education

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Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men.

Proverbs 22:29 This verse summarizes every dad’s dream for his kids. He wants them to become skilled in their work and find their place in the world. But dreaming won’t make it happen.

We need to be intentional about providing our kids with a practical education.

Let’s take apart that phrase to see what it really means. According to the thesaurus in my word processing program, “practical” means sensible, realistic, useful, functional, and workable. This word carries a sense of application. In other words, it’s not entirely theoretical. And “education” simply means being taught. In this context, an educated person is a skilled person, like the man described in the verse above.

Practical education begins with Scripture.

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The Bible prohibits some things and requires others. A wise person follows those injunctions without question. But between those extremes, most of our daily decisions aren’t really about right and wrong. They’re about prioritizing the gray areas, so we can choose the better of two things that are both okay. The Book of Proverbs is a great place to find help in establishing those priorities. MIMBS 2

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The apostle Paul was a spiritual father to the Christians in Corinth. Because of that special relationship, when he wrote to them, he said, “I urge you to imitate me.” A similar thing can happen with your own children, or with children who are in your circle of influence.

When my son was about five or six, he very naturally mimicked my daily habits. I remember standing side-by-side with him after taking a shower. I watched him wrap a towel around his waist and tuck in the corner, just like I did it. After I combed my

child has a better chance of success if he learns to say “please” and “thank you.” That’s not a scriptural mandate, but it doesn’t violate Scripture. That is the test for wisdom that doesn’t come specifically from the Bible. Within life’s “gray areas,” teach your children to pursue scriptural principles, and never to violate or contradict obvious biblical teaching. MIMBS 2 What is one thing you need to teach your child which doesn’t come directly from Scripture, but it does follow scriptural principles, or at least it does not contradict them?

Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 7:1-8:40, Acts 27:120, Psalm 7:1-17, Proverbs 18:22

wet hair straight back, he did exactly the same thing.

We teach a lot of life lessons through our example. But I’ve found that learning is most effective when we mentor intentionally. You see, a lot of mentoring happens when kids watch our behavior in specific situations. Rather than simply responding to circumstances with your children, I encourage you to develop a written list of the skills you want to teach them. Then create situations where you can achieve that goal through mentoring. MIMBS 2 Describe a situation in which you were mentored by your father or by another important man in your life. How can you pass on that lesson to another person?

Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 5:18-6:81, Acts 26:1-32, Psalm 6:1-10, Proverbs 18:20-21

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

1 Thessalonians 4:11–12 Scripture gives life a theoretical framework, and it also provides useful instruction for daily living. In this verse, for instance, the apostle Paul gave very practical advice to a specific group of believers. In a general way, you can see how that advice applies to all believers. But how can you teach your child to apply that to his own life?

A practical education must be based on the idea that all Scripture is true. But it also must allow for “general revelation”—truth that can be learned outside of Scripture, through observing the world.

And then there is a level of cultural convention—things to help your child navigate the culture in which he lives. For instance, your

Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. Therefore I urge you to imitate me.

1 Corinthians 4:15–16

Describe how Proverbs 22:29 summarizes your desire for your own kids, or for a child who is important to you.

Tuesday—July 9 • A Place for Observed Truth

Wednesday—July 10 • Educating by Example

Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 9:1-10:14, Acts 27:21-44, Psalm 8:1-9, Proverbs 18:23-24

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Thursday—July 11 • Your Child’s Strengths

And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them.

Psalm 78:72 A father or a mentor can prepare a child by biblical characters. Solomon collected helping him discover what he’s good at. and classified proverbs, showing that he In the 1980s, a Harvard professor named had linguistic intelligence. The men who Dr. Howard Gardner noted that traditional built elements of worship for the tabernaIQ tests don’t account for different areas cle and temple were spatially gifted. Asaph where people can excel. He noticed that is described as musically gifted. David cousome people have “linguistic intelligence”— pled great interpersonal skills with integrity they’re good with words. Others succeed to become a great leader. in “logical/mathematical intelligence”— God worked through these men by giving numbers and reasoning. Gardner proposed them tasks within their areas of special abileight different “intelligences,” including spaity. You can increase a child’s opportunity tial (good with pictures and seeing how for success if you help him find and focus things fit together), bodily/kinesthetic on his strengths. MIMBS 2 (good with movement), musical, interpersonal (understanding people), intrapersonal How can you help a child you’re mentoring to (understanding self ), and naturalist (interdiscover and concentrate on his strengths? preting nature).

Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 11:1-12:18, Acts You see a lot of that variety reflected in 28:1-31, Psalm 9:1-12, Proverbs 19:1-3

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Friday/Saturday/Sunday—July 12, 13, 14 Create Special Times O my people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. . . . what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord.

Psalm 78:1, 3–4a

The process of mentoring can be greatly helped by scheduling specific times for character building.

I remember a man whose son-in-law was basically an “AWOL dad,” uninvolved in the grandkids’ lives. Instead of hounding the son-in-law, he became proactive. He began taking his grandsons to lunch on a regular basis. “What will you talk about?” I asked.

“Everything,” he replied.

In that context, keep in mind the importance of creating special occasions to teach special lessons. I knew a man named Mike whose son, Adam, was graduating from high school. Adam had grown up with two special friends. They were all Christians, they had participated in sports together, and they all had girlfriends. So Mike enlisted the girlfriends’ help. He had them set up a group “date” with the three boys for an evening near the end of the school year.

The girlfriends blindfolded Adam and his friends and drove until the boys were thoroughly confused. They got the boys out of the vehicle, walked them across a footbridge to an island in the middle of a river. They sat the boys down on three chairs. Then they left.

The boys heard the car doors slam and the girls ride away. And then came deathly silence. The boys didn’t know Mike was standing just about four feet away, but they heard his foot rustle in the leaves. “What was that? I think there’s an animal out here,” one of them said.

Mike took pity on them. “Take off your blindfolds,” he said. And when they did, they saw several men, all of whom had invested time in mentoring them, seated around a fire pit and facing them. Mike proceeded to lead this group through a specially designed ceremony. Each man had the opportunity to give spiritual advice and practical advice, and to pray for the boys.

You know what struck me when Mike relayed the story? A lot of men have good ideas like this, but they never do anything about them. Set aside time, so you can be intentional about positively mentoring the children in your circle of influence. MIMBS 2 How can you help a child you’re mentoring to discover and concentrate on his strengths?

Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 12:19-18:17, Romans 1:1-2:24, Psalm 9:13-10:18, Proverbs 19:4-9

For Your Small Group

❏❏ July 8–14: As a group, discuss the kinds of examples modeled for you by the men in your lives.

•• What were the best of those characteristics? What were the worst?

•• What’s one thing you wish you were taught as a child?

•• How can you help mold a child in your sphere of influence?

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Monday—July 15 • Chaos and Character

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We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.

Romans 5:3,4 Nlt Chaos. We see it all around us, from our nation’s capital to our neighborhoods to our own homes. We are all affected by these tragic events that happen, knowing they could easily happen anywhere, including where our sons and daughters go to school.

The “chaos” of our society deeply affects us all.

Character. In the midst of these terrible events, story after story emerges about the character displayed during the chaos: students and teachers who took initiative, who sacrificed their own lives to give others a few precious minutes to escape; life-stories—testimonies—of several of those killed who lived their life with a bold Christian lifestyle.

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My old boss, Al Worthington, had a great response when asked to define character: “I may not be able to define it, but I can see it when it’s not there.” Where character is absent, chaos rules. Where the character of Christ reigns, chaos is removed.

More than a change of laws, today’s realities scream for the need of biblical values—of changed lives. —Ronn Read Think back to the last time you were in a pressure-filled situation. Did you display the character of Christ? Why or why not?

Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 19:1-21:30, Romans 2:25-3:8, Psalm 11:1-7, Proverbs 19:10-12

Tuesday—July 16 • Reconnect

That which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ.

1 John 1:3 Nkjv Reconnect. Many things in our lives have become automatic; they simply happen without us having to do anything, or even to think about it. For example, many doors at the entrances of retail stores have become automatic—walk up to them, and they simply open. (How many of us won’t even use the “other” door that isn’t automatic? And how many have walked into a door that wasn’t automatic?!)

In this automated world, we can easily take things for granted, making the assumption that our effort is not required—the results will automatically happen.

The problem is that the most important parts of a man’s life don’t happen automatically. For example, in our family life, it’s all too easy to think great relationships will

just happen. We assume others will know we love them or care for them, whether we make the effort to make them feel loved or not.

It’s not automatic. It does take effort—but not a lot! Why not put down whatever else you might be planning right now and spend some quality time with those you love? — Ronn Read Think about a time when someone spent some quality time with you that impacted who you are today. Prayerfully consider what you need to do to make that impact on someone you know.

Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 22:1-23:32, Romans 3:9-31, Psalm 12:1-8, Proverbs 19:1314

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Wednesday—July 17 • Relax

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And you would be secure, because there is hope; Yes, you would dig around you, and take your rest in safety.

Job 11:18 Nkjv Relax.

That’s a word with many meanings. It can be an invitation to take a break, or it can be a warning to back down, to take off the pressure, to be less intense or severe.

Sometimes that’s a good thing, to lighten someone’s load, or, we might say, give them grace. But it can also be a bad thing, such as when we relax standards so much that we cast off social restraint. “Every man did that which was right in his own eyes . . . ” comes to mind.

We don’t just relax—we become “lax”: weak, or loose.

One other meaning of relax: “To attain equilibrium following the abrupt removal of some influence, such as

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light or heat.” Such equilibrium might easily be translated compromise! When we are no longer being regularly influenced by God and His Word we slide down to the values of the culture.

Are there areas of your life where you’ve allowed culture to modify behavior and compromise standards, as opposed to being salt and light? Make the determination today to stand strong in Christ—even if you have to stand alone—knowing that you stand through His strength. —Ronn Read Is there an area of your life where you have grown lax? Is there a spiritual discipline you need to exercise to restore boundaries? Share your thoughts with another man.

Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 24:1-26:11, Romans 4:1-12, Psalm 13:1-6, Proverbs 19:1516

Thursday—July 18 • Restore Restore us to yourself, Lord, that we may return; renew our days as of old.

Lamentations 5:21

Restore.

Look at the first four letters of today’s title: “rest.” A nap. A vacation. A break from it all.

Sometimes we can get restoration from a simple walk around the block. Other times it takes quite a bit more than that. “Our souls find rest when they find their rest in YOU.” We need a season of restoration in our nation—but it won’t happen by ignoring the problems. It’s going to require a restoration of values—those “non-negotiables” of life. In a culture that has made any and all values negotiable, this is going to take a lot of work. What a paradox! To get to the

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place of “rest” and restoration, we have to ‘work’ at resting in the strength and changing power of Almighty God. Patrick Morley often states “To work without praying is sin. So is praying without working.” A major part of the work we need to do today as men is to pray for God to move. —Ronn Read

Friday/Saturday/Sunday—July 19, 20, 21 • Recreate Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

Mark 6:31

Recreate.

It’s what ‘recreation’ is supposed to be: an opportunity to recreate us, presumably from our weariness, fatigue, and even busyness—with the hope that we return to everyday life with a renewed passion and purpose.

So “how’s that working for you?”

Just because a vacation—or recreational activity—is meant to give us a break doesn’t mean that it works out that way. Vacations can be more stressful than the life we are attempting to vacate!

True recreation is going to take more than a few days in the ol’ mini-van travelling down the highway paying high gas prices and eating too much fast food; more than purple mountain majesties or fruited plains—especially when seen at 70 mph as we rush past on our way to yet another “destination.” It’s even going to take more than a “staycation” in your backyard!

True recreation takes more. Or, actually, less. Less stress—more peace. Less hassle—more Him. Less rush—more rest (the biblical kind). It is making time to “be still, and KNOW” that He is God: God of your circumstances; of your worries; of your goals and plans. You can only recreate when you allow Him to not only be part of

what you are doing, where you are going, or what you are planning—but to be the power behind it all!

After all—He did a pretty good job of the original creation.

Don’t you think He ought to oversee the recreation? — Ronn Read

Where do you need some recreation in your life right now? How can you allow God to begin His work in that area of your life?

Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 28–2 Chronicles 6:11, Romans 5:6-7:13, Psalm 15:1-17:15, Proverbs 19:18-23

For Your Small Group

❏❏ July 15–21: Ask the men in the group to give you a definition of the following words:

What are the non-negotiables in your life that you are most inclined to fight for? How do you “fight the good fight” for them?

•• Reconnect? Relax? Restore? Recreate?

Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 26:12-27:34, Romans 4:13-5:5, Psalm 14:1-7, Proverbs 19:17

•• When was the last time you focused on one of those goals?

•• What do you need to do to Reconnect? Relax? Restore? Recreate?

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Monday— July 22 • Cheerful Generosity

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In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

1 Timothy 6:19 According to surveys, weekly church attendees contribute an average of 3.4 percent of their income to charity. That’s well above the 1.9 percent national average, but well below the generosity suggested by biblical standards for giving.

Several years ago I volunteered to help raise money for a major Christian ministry.

I set a lofty goal, because I thought everyone would leap at the chance to invest in such a high-impact ministry. Boy, was I naïve! Some did give, but overall, I found that many Christian men simply don’t know how to give. Either they don’t have a vision for giving, or they are afraid that if they give, they will run out of money for themselves.

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In our work we see a lot of men who just don’t get it. They are not cheerful givers.

They are not giving in proportion to the way they have been enriched. As a result, they miss an opportunity to lay up eternal treasure. ALM 31 What keeps you from being a cheerful giver? Is it that you don’t see why you should (vision), or are you worried that you might not have enough left over to meet your needs? Pray about this with some brothers.

Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 6:12-8:10, Romans 7:14-8:8, Psalm 18:1-15, Proverbs 19:24-25

Tuesday— July 23 • God Loves to Give He [God] has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.

Acts 14:17

Scripture challenges believers to give generously for many reasons, not the least of which is that we have already received so much from God. Jesus told His disciples, “Freely you have received, freely give” (Matthew 10:8b). We can be liberated to give cheerfully when we plumb the depths of God’s kindness in giving to us. And we can experience tremendous joy when we imitate His example.

The passage above notes that God’s provision demonstrates His kindness. It specifically lists God’s abundant supply for our temporal needs. But a very familiar scripture also says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son”

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(John 3:16, emphasis added). Our salvation hangs on that single act of generosity.

Nobody loves to give more than God does. From the blazing beauty of a brilliant sunrise to enabling you to close a huge deal that took months to prepare, God is the giver of every good gift. As the Bible reminds us, “Every good and perfect gift is from above” (James 1:17). He delights in giving good gifts to His people. ALM 31 List five things God has given you. Take some time to thank God for these gifts to you.

Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 8:11-10:19, Romans 8:9-25, Psalm 18:16-36, Proverbs 19:26

Wednesday— July 24 • The Greatest Cause For even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid again and again when I was in need . . . . I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. Philippians 4:16, 18

Paul concludes his letter to the Philippians with thanks for their generous contributions that helped support his work.

Paul gave his life to ministry. Why? He was obeying Jesus’ final mandate to His followers: “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:18–20).

Millions of men and billions of dollars have been mobilized by that mandate.

More than by any other speech in the history of the world. It’s all there. Authority.

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Challenge. Mission. Adventure. Power.

Direction. Purpose. Comfort.

When we sense we are participating in God’s mission, we can be freed to give generously. Nothing should make a Christian more “cheerful” than to hear his financial investment helped someone pass from death into life. ALM 31 Have you found freedom in giving through understanding that you are participating in God’s mission? Explain your answer.

Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 11:1-13:22, Romans 8:26-39, Psalm 18:37-50, Proverbs 19:27-29

Thursday—July 25 • Give Intentionally Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion.

2 Corinthians 9:7

Most of us carefully plan our personal financial investment strategy. We research mutual funds, keep track of quarterly reports and P/E ratios, or scan financial publications to check rates on CDs. Yet many men do not have a strategy for giving money to help build God’s kingdom. They give random amounts at random times to random causes. The Bible suggests that we should be intentional. The Message paraphrases the above verse as follows: “I want each of you to take plenty of time to think it over, and make up your own mind what you will give.

That will protect you against sob stories and arm-twisting.”

Your charitable giving is a spiritual

investment. It’s just as important as your financial investments. Why not write down the three best ministry opportunities you know about?

Make sure your local church is at the top of your list. The church is God’s ordained institution for living out the gospel and impacting our world.

The church brings us to faith and maturity in Christ. Within that context, you’ll sense the greatest impact when your giving is intentional. ALM 31 Do you have a strategy for your charitable giving? Where does your money go?

Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 14:1-16:14, Romans 9:1-24, Psalm 19:1-14, Proverbs 20:1

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Friday/Saturday/Sunday—July 26, 27, 28 • Give Generously

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Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

2 Corinthians 9:6–7 The Bible clearly indicates a direct link between generosity and cheerfulness. So, how much does a “cheerful” giver give?

Our Christian culture tends to teach that we own our money, and it’s nice if we give some of it to God. The Bible, however, teaches that God owns everything, and He lets us keep up to 90 percent of it, for which we remain responsible as stewards. We don’t give God 10 percent and keep the rest. Rather, He gives us 100 percent to manage for Him, and He asks us to voluntarily give back 10 percent (or more), to test our hearts.

Do you want to “reap generously”? How much are you “sowing”? The 10-percent tithe commanded in the Old Testament is a good place to start. If anyone thinks he fully honors God’s generosity with anything less than 10 percent, he bears a burden of proof to show he is a cheerful, generous giver.

Studies show that many Christians assume they are giving more than they really are. Instead of verbally estimating your giving, why not actually check last year’s tax return? Divide the amount you gave by your total income (minus any

business expenses). That is your percentage of giving. Does it reflect the generosity God has expressed to you?

The people in the early Macedonian churches clearly understood this.

Scripture says, “Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. . . . Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the saints” (2 Corinthians 8:2–4).

The Macedonians had plumbed the depths of God’s cheerfulness in giving, and they chose to imitate their Lord. In the process, they gained great joy. You can find that same joy, as you learn to give generously. ALM 31 Why do you think the Bible so clearly links generosity and joy? Share an experience with some brothers of a time when a gift you gave brought you unexpected joy.

Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 17:1-23:21, Romans 9:25-11:36, Psalm 20:1-22:18, Proverbs 20:2-7

For Your Small Group

❏❏ July 22–28: When you hear someone preach about giving or read something about giving, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

•• Do you have positive or negative feelings about giving?

•• Does it feel like a burden or an opportunity to bless someone? Why?

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Monday—July 29 • A Performance Evaluation David sang to the Lord the words of this song when the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. He said: The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation.

2 Samuel 22:1-3

A CEO’s success or failure rests on many factors. He or she might not have the right vision, the right strategy, the right people, or the right markets. Several years ago Fortune Magazine ran an article based on research about CEOs who had been fired.

Fundamentally, the article indicated their failures came down to one issue—a lack of performance. They simply didn’t execute their responsibilities in a way that met expectations.

Most of us who follow Christ would agree that He is the CEO of our faith. And yet, when we examine our daily experience, many times it may look like our faith isn’t working. In fact, we might even be

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tempted to say our CEO simply isn’t executing according to our expectations. If we’re really following Christ, that means we’ve bet everything on the idea that Christianity is true. So if this is all a cruel hoax, we’re toast. King David faced similar issues and doubts. Yet after a particularly difficult event, David recorded his performance evaluation of God. He said God had proven His effectiveness as a protector. MIMBS 3 Describe a time when God “showed up” in a situation, clearly demonstrating His faithfulness to you. Share your experience with your group.

Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 24:1-25:28, Romans 12:1-21, Psalm 22:19-31, Proverbs 20:8-10

Tuesday—July 30 • Have I Disqualified Myself ?

To the faithful you show yourself faithful, to the blameless you show yourself blameless, to the pure you show yourself pure, but to the devious you show yourself shrewd.

You save the humble, but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them low.

2 Samuel 22:26-28

Most of us who have walked with Christ for a long time are absolutely convinced of His excellence as the CEO of our lives. We’re not overly concerned about His day-to-day performance, because through the course of our lives, He has consistently proved Himself faithful. We do often wonder about ourselves. We look at passages like the one featured today, and we say, “I’m not blameless. I’m not pure. I’m not even humble!” In our discouragement, we can ask ourselves if we have done or will do something that disqualifies us from experiencing the richness of God’s protection and grace.

Today’s passage was written by someone who committed both

adultery and murder. Yet, at the end of his life, David’s assessment was that God protected him at every step. Because of that, David willingly praised and worshiped and glorified his God. The bottom line is God’s protection doesn’t rest on our faithfulness or “perfection,” but rather it depends on God’s mercy. MIMBS 3 How does it make you feel, to know that God’s protection doesn’t rest on your perfection, but rather on His mercy?

If you believed this in the core of your being, what might you do differently today?

Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 26:1-28:27, Romans 13:1-14, Psalm 23:1-6, Proverbs 20:11

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Wednesday—July 31 • God’s Protection Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.

2 Timothy 2:11-13

You’ve probably heard a prayer like this: Lord, I am proud to say so far today, I’ve got along alright. I have not gossiped, whined or bragged or had a single fight. I haven’t lost my temper once or criticized my mate.

I haven’t lied or cried or loudly cursed my faith. So far today I have not one time been grumpy or morose. I have not been spiteful, cold, vain, self-centered or verbose. But, Lord, I am going to need your help throughout the hours ahead, so give me all your strength, dear Lord, as now I get out of bed.

We all have moments when our actions or attitudes do not show that God is our “CEO.” The Gospel reminds us that God

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Man in the Mirror would like to thank all of our sponsors for their help in making FUEL 2013 a great success!

doesn’t protect us because we are faithful, but rather, we grow in our faithfulness because He protects us. If we are in relationship with God through Jesus Christ, one day we will examine over our lives and see that, even when we have been faithless, He has remained faithful, because that’s who He is. MIMBS 3 How have you grown in your faithfulness to God as you have responded to what He is doing on your behalf? What specific changes can you point to in your life?

Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 29:1-36, Romans 14:1-23, Psalm 24:1-10, Proverbs 20:12

Thursday—August 1 • A Consecrated Life You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.

2 Samuel 22:29-30

Throughout 2 Samuel 22, David describes ways God has shown His faithfulness. In response to God’s faithfulness, David committed to living a consecrated life. He said God turns darkness into light, giving both protection and guidance. Then he noted that God was the source of his ability.

Like David, we all can choose to be faithful to the best of our ability, under the Holy Spirit’s tutelage and strength. Consecration doesn’t require perfection in our own strength. It requires effort, but the empowerment comes through the Holy Spirit.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, an anti-Nazi dissident in WWII Germany, observed, “If you

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have boarded the wrong train, it doesn’t do any good to run fast from the front of the train toward the back of the train. It’s still going in the wrong direction.” If you’ve been trying to earn God’s protection, then you’re on the wrong train. God’s protection doesn’t rest on human faithfulness.

But instead, we become more faithful when we bring ourselves under God’s protection.

Surrender your life completely to God and allow Him to empower you to lead a consecrated life. MIMBS 3 In your own words, explain how a person can lead a consecrated life. Ask another man for his thoughts.

Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 30:1-31:21, Romans 15:1-22, Psalm 25:1-15, Proverbs 20:13-15

p

rs Mar k Y o uYreaCar !lenda f o r N ex t

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2 Samuel 22:47, 51

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In 1910, a chauffeur was driving a wealthy, influential businessman through a small Midwestern town when he noticed a number of boys running down the street. One boy lagged behind, dragging a club foot. The businessman went on to his meeting, but he asked the chauffeur to find the boy’s parents and tell them a benefactor would pay for an operation for the boy’s foot. The chauffeur did as his boss requested. He had some trouble convincing the parents that the offer was legitimate, but he finally was successful. It turned out the boy needed several surgeries, which required him to travel to a city a few hours away. So the boy, whose name was Jimmy, got to know the chauffeur pretty well as they drove back and forth.

Finally, after five operations, Jimmy was able to walk normally. When they arrived back home, Jimmy asked the chauffeur to wait in the car, and he told his family to wait at the front door. “Don’t come to me,” he said. “I’ll come to you.” And he walked

without any difficulty to his front door. Later, as the chauffeur related the details of the homecoming to his employer, the benefactor brushed away tears and told the chauffeur to return at Christmastime and take the whole family shopping for shoes. The chauffeur did these kinds of things regularly for his employer, Henry Ford, who was an incredibly generous benefactor, helping dozens of people in anonymous ways.

God protects us over and over again, but He often does it anonymously. We’re not even aware sometimes of how He is protecting us. David had many trials, but God protected him. David didn’t earn that protection, but God granted it out of His great mercy and love. MIMBS 3 Take a few moments to write a brief psalm of praise to God, describing some ways you’ve seen His intervention in difficult times.

Reading: 2 Chronicles 32:1-36:23, Romans 15:23-16:27, Psalm 25:16-27:6, Proverbs 20:16-21

For Your Small Group

❏❏ July 29–August 4: Read aloud Psalm 18:30 in several easy-to-understand versions or translations (New Living Translations, The Message, New King James Version) •• How is God’s way described in that verse?

•• How is God’s Word described in that verse?

•• Who does God shield and protect? How should this change your perspective?

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Monday—August 5 • Decisions Have Consequences

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Wednesday—August 7 • Actions Have Consequences

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

Proverbs 14:12 Life requires us to make choices, and every choice has a consequence—even refusing to make a decision. In effect, you are choosing for things to stay the same. Some decisions lead to gain, and others to loss. Sometimes the consequences are minor, and sometimes they are expensive. We think of that most often in terms of finances, but cost can be figured in many different ways.

I remember a man who came to one of our Bible studies. He attended college at a military-style school. After graduation, his roommate Phil went to Vietnam, and four months later he was killed. Phil’s father was an executive in a big corporation. At the funeral, he came to my friend. “Are you who I think you are?” he asked. “Yes sir. I was

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your son’s college roommate.”

With tears rolling down his face, the executive replied, “Could you tell me about him?

I never really knew him.”

A lifetime of decisions by this father led him to a successful career and a fat wallet.

But in the end, those decisions cost him the opportunity to know his son. May God give us wisdom to see the ramifications of our choices. :MIMBS 4 Describe one of your decisions that ended up having consequences. Were they positive or negative?

Daily Reading: Ezra 1:1-2:70, 1 Corinthians 1:18-2:5, Psalm 27:7-14, Proverbs 20:22-23

Tuesday—August 6 • Widespread Consequences

In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit.

Judges 21:25 Judges 19 and 20 offer a mind-boggling story about poor decisions and the ensuing consequences. A Levite was traveling with his concubine. They stopped in a town called Gibeah, within the area where the tribe of Benjamin lived, accepting hospitality from a man who invited them to his home. The vile men of this city asked the man to send out the Levite, so they could have sex with him. Instead, the host sent his own daughter and the concubine, and the evil men raped them all night long.

In the morning, the Levite found his concubine was dead. He took her body home, cut it up and sent parts to all 12 tribes of Israel, seeking help in bringing vengeance against the men of Gibeah. A total

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divorce, don’t do that to your children. If your wife forces it upon you, you may not be able to avoid it. But if at all possible, please don’t go down that road.

Anyone who has ever been divorced will tell you it’s not really over—it’s just a different kind of bad relationship. And it’s just too costly—for you, for your wife, and for your children. :MIMBS 4 What consequences have you seen in our culture as a result of many people making poor choices?

Daily Reading: Ezra 3:1-4:23, 1 Corinthians 2:6-3:4, Psalm 28:1-9, Proverbs 20:24-25

What recent news story shows an individual or a group suffering because of someone else’s poor decisions? What similarities do you see to the story recorded above? Talk about this with a few other men.

Daily Reading: Ezra 4:24-6:22, 1 Corinthians 3:5-23, Psalm 29:1-11, Proverbs 20:26-27

Thursday—August 8 • Self-reliance vs. God-reliance The Israelites went up to Bethel and inquired of God. They said, “Who of us shall go first to fight against the Benjamites?”

Judges 20:18

Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . . But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.

Joshua 24:15 Decisions have consequences in the lives of individuals. But if you have enough individuals making the same bad decisions, the entire culture can suffer the consequences.

For example, did you know that 40 percent of U.S. children under the age of 18 do not live with their biological father? As a result, a 25-year study tracking children who grew up in broken homes found that 40 percent of those children will never marry. That’s compared to only 16 percent of children from intact homes. When you hear statistics, you know there’s a lot of pain and suffering just below the surface.

If you’re thinking about

of 400,000 men were mustered for battle, and about 65,000 of them died in the days of fighting.

It is easy to forget the impact that one man’s decisions can have. Our own decisions may not result in 400,000 men going to war or 65,000 men dying, but they can have far greater consequences than we expect. :MIMBS 4

In the story including the verse above, the Israelites asked God about their plan. Good, right? They prayed before they went into battle. But notice—they didn’t ask if they should go, but instead, they asked who should go first. They didn’t ask God what they should do. Instead, they chose their course of action and then asked Him how they should accomplish it.

This is why I get so terrified about making major decisions. It’s so easy to make this mistake. Here’s the big idea of this story: Never decide anything without first inquiring of the Lord. Sadly, most of us don’t do that, and I think I know why. We think we’re able to work things out pretty well without His help. We become self-reliant

Self-Reliant

rather than God-reliant.

The Book of Judges repeatedly notes that Israel had no official leader, and the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes (see Judges 18:1, 19:1, 21:25). The people weren’t seeking God’s will or His wisdom.

They weren’t asking Him for guidance— just His approval. The consequences of this approach were devastating. :MIMBS 4 On a scale of 1–10, with 1 being “totally selfreliant” and 10 being “totally God-reliant,” what number would you assign to yourself? Explain your answer.

Daily Reading: Ezra 7:1-8:20, 1 Corinthians 4:121, Psalm 30:1-12, Proverbs 20:28-30

God-Reliant

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Friday/Saturday/Sunday—August 9, 10, 11 • Heart Check?

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Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23 I’ve always been interested in the process of decision-making. You know, it’s not just non-believers who make costly decisions. Believers do it, too. In fact, I’ve made my own share of them. I once spent seven years working to get out of a financial debt I accrued through faulty assumptions that led to poor choices.

So now, when I’m trying to make a decision, I start with a heart check. I check my motivations. I ask myself a series of questions, like these: •• How do I make decisions?

•• Do I normally choose a course of action, and then ask God to bless it?

•• If that is my habit, how can I tell if I’ve truly heard from God regarding this course of action?

•• Who is my king in this situation—is it me, or is it Jesus?

Proverbs 4:23 describes the priority we should place on keeping our hearts pure.

“Above all else,” the wise Solomon wrote, “guard your heart.” Why? Because that priority sets the agenda for all of life, including our decisions—both the large and the small ones.

I believe that priority will require you to

This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit.

John: 15:8

develop the habit of making prayer the first disposition of your heart in every situation.

Scripture warns us repeatedly not to rely on our own wisdom. Cultivate a habit of seeking God’s desire in every circumstance. I can’t say I’ve achieved that yet, but it’s my goal, and I’m doing better than I used to. It takes a long time to move toward the point where prayer is your natural reaction.

We also need to seek God’s wisdom by knowing His Word. Proverbs 29:18 tells us, “Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint.”

Christianity is based on God’s revelation of Himself, and Scripture is our primary source for that revelation. Don’t make up your mind before you read the Word. It’s interesting—God’s Word sounds a lot different when you read it with an open mind and use it to “guard your heart,” rather than trying to make it fit your predetermined desires. :MIMBS 4

American men are the most overworked group in the world. We have less free time today than ever before. Our productivity may have increased, but so has the number of hours we work.

We have less time to build our communities, become involved in our churches, raise our kids, nurture our marriages, and share the gospel with others.

Perhaps we’re getting more done in terms of our vocation. But what about our

Explain the importance of guarding your heart when it comes to making wise decisions. How will you achieve that?

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Daily Reading: Ezra 8:21-10:44, Nehemiah 1:13:14, 1 Corinthians 5:1-7:24, Psalm 31:1-24, Proverbs 21:1-4

For Your Small Group

❏❏ August 5–11: In which areas of your life do you find it difficult to make decisions (ex. financial, family, business, etc.)?

•• What makes that area(s) so difficult?

•• Have you experienced either a failure or a success in that area?

•• What are the keys to making God-honoring decisions?

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Monday—August 12 • Producing Fruit

primary responsibilities as Christians?

The kind of fruit the world coaxes us into producing is a different kind of productivity than what Jesus had in mind. He wants us to produce “much” fruit, not necessarily “more” fruit. And the fruit to which He refers is something quite different than what the world is asking for. :MIMBS 5 What kind of fruit are you producing?

How much of it is the kind to which Jesus referred?

Daily Reading: Nehemiah 3:15-5:13, 1 Corinthians 7:25-40, Psalm 32:1-11, Proverbs 21:5-7

Tuesday—August 13 • Have a Nice Day Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.

Genesis 1:28

The concept of productivity has been around since the beginning of time. God created us in such a way that we feel best when we are producing something. We want to live satisfied lives, and our level of satisfaction generally rises to the level of productivity.

But what, exactly, have we been created to produce? And more importantly, what are we as Christian men actually producing?

God asked us to produce fruit. What we often seek to produce is money, comfort, power, and notoriety, among other things.

But those aren’t the things that really satisfy

us, and that’s where many men find themselves today: productive, yes, but generally dissatisfied. And it’s because many of us have chosen to produce the wrong things. :MIMBS 5 What have you chosen to produce in your life?

How is that working? What’s one thing you could do today to re-direct your attention to the kind of productivity Jesus talked about?

Daily Reading: Nehemiah 5:14-7:73, 1 Corinthians 8:1-13, Psalm 33:1-11, Proverbs 21:8-10

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Wednesday—August 14 • How to Bear Fruit

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But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it.

Matthew 13:23 Jesus said, “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit” (John 15:8).

Not “more” fruit, “much” fruit. And while part of that is related to the world around us—food and economic stability, for example—He’s also referring to things like love, joy and peace—fruit of the Spirit that leads to a satisfied life.

The Lord doesn’t want you to be idle. He simply wants you to be busy doing the right things. So how do we bear much fruit?

The world would answer that question by saying, “Work harder, smarter, and perhaps longer.” But Jesus said the key to living a productive life is hearing the Word of God

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and understanding it (Matthew 13:23).

That is the key to productivity, because the only things we can grow are the things we plant. A man cannot bear the right kind of fruit in his life unless the seed of the Word is first sown in him. :MIMBS 5 What kind of “productivity” (fruit) do you see when you are consistently in the Word of God? Talk with some other men about how God’s Word changes you.

Daily Reading: Nehemiah 7:73-9:21, 1 Corinthians 9:1-18, Psalm 33:12-22, Proverbs 21:11-12

Thursday—August 15 • Why We Should Produce Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands . . . so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders.

1 Thessalonians 4:11–12

There are three reasons why God wants us to be productive.

extension, the enlarging of God’s Kingdom on earth. :MIMBS 5

1.

How has your productivity or success at work helped or hindered your witness to outsiders?

2.

3.

To leave the world a better place than when we found it.

He wants us to have balance, and being productive in our jobs affords us the time and resources to devote our attention to other, more important, aspects of life.

He wants us to enlarge His Kingdom.

Francis Shaffer once said: “If you do your work well, you will have a chance to speak.” That’s a direct application of 1 Thessalonians 4:10–12.

When we are productive, non-Christians will be drawn to us, and often, drawn to Jesus Christ as well. And ultimately, that’s the most important kind of production there is: the making of disciples, and by

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Daily Reading: Nehemiah 9:22-10:39, 1 Corinthians 9:1910:13, Psalm 34:110, Proverbs 21:13

Friday/Saturday/Sunday—August 16, 17, 18 Balancing Your Life Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.

Ephesians 5:25

If you don’t have enough time for your family, you can be 100 percent certain that you are not following God’s will for your life. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

And one of the most noteworthy things Jesus does for the church is to invest His life into it.

We were and are His top priority.

Some years ago I made a decision not work past 6 p.m. during the week and not to work weekends at all. On the way home each night, I would think about work until I got to the bridge that was three minutes from the house. Then I would take all of the “papers,” figuratively speaking, and put them in my imaginary briefcase. Then I’d shut it, throw it over the bridge, and visualize it splashing into the creek.

I did that to clear my mind so that by the time I got home I was ready to re-engage my family. I’d come through the front door, put on some jeans, and unwind for no longer than 15 minutes. From that moment

on, I basically gave myself to my wife and children.

I exhort you today in the name of Jesus Christ— get your life balanced. If you are surrounded by workaholics and have become addicted to that environment, you need to change your environment. If you struggle with a certain addiction, no matter what it is, you need to change your environment.

Repentance is more than a decision. You have to be willing to also change your environment and lifestyle. There’s a battle for your soul going on. :MIMBS 5 Do you recognize a pattern of sin in your life?

If so, how can changing your environment help you overcome it?

Daily Reading: Nehemiah 11:1-13:31, Esther 1:1-3:15, 1 Corinthians 10:14-11:34, Psalm 34:11-35:28, Proverbs 21:14-20

For Your Small Group

❏❏ August 12–18: From Thursday's devotional, what are three reasons God wants you to be productive?

•• How can you leave the world a better place?

•• How do you lead a balanced life?

•• How are you currently enlarging His kingdom?

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Monday—August 19 • I Came to My Senses

“ . . . When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father.”

Luke 15:17-20a When I was growing up, I had trouble believing my father really cared about me.

Soon after finishing 10th grade, I ran away and found a place in an old boarding house in downtown Orlando. I got a grueling job scraping dried cement off metal scaffolding. I ate grilled cheese sandwiches every night at the bowling alley across the street.

After about two weeks, a friend arrived with two 6-packs of beer, and we drank our way through them before he threw up all over my rug. The next morning my head throbbed. My bleary eyes scanned the cans strewn across my floor. I ached to return home, but I didn’t think I could.

Later that morning, a knock rattled my

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door. I opened it and saw my dad standing there. He said, “Your mother and I love you very much, and we were wondering if you’d be willing to come back home.” The words were barely out of his mouth before I threw all my worldly possessions into a paper bag, and we were out of there! Like the prodigal son, I “came to my senses.” :MIMBS 6 Describe a situation in your own life when you “came to your senses.” (If you’re not familiar with the story of the prodigal son, you can read the whole thing starting at Luke 15:11.)

Daily Reading: Esther 4:1-7:10, 1 Corinthians 12:1-26, Psalm 36:1-12, Proverbs 21:21-22

Tuesday—August 20 • A Father Who Doesn’t Give

. . . So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

Luke 15:20-24 After decades of working with men, I Jesus told this story to describe how God believe that most of us struggle to really loves us. Before you and I say a thing, God believe that our Father God cares about us. is filled with love and compassion for us, In Luke 15, Jesus tells a story about a young simply because we are His sons. He created man who had a squabble with his father, us. He knows everything about us. And still and then left home. He ended up in a misHe loves us unconditionally, and His heart erable situation before he finally “came is filled with welcome when we come to to his senses” and headed home with the Him. :MIMBS 6 intention of begging to be included among his father’s servants. But as you’ll see in How does it make you feel to know that God’s today’s chosen passage, the father was filled love is unconditional? Do you really believe it? with compassion for his son, and he ran and Why or why not? welcomed him home. This happened before Daily Reading: Esther 8:1-10:3, 1 Corinthians the son ever said a single word that he had 12:27-13:13, Psalm 37:1-11, Proverbs 21:23-24 planned.

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Wednesday—August 21 • Receive God’s Love Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

2 Corinthians 7:10

Luke 15 records three stories Jesus told about a lost sheep, a lost coin, and a lost son. Each story reflects God’s willingness to go to extensive lengths to bring people into relationship with him. The story of the lost son describes a young man who demanded his inheritance and then left home.

After experiencing much hardship, that young man returned home with a different spirit. He came back hoping simply to serve in his father’s house. The boy repented, which means he changed his mind and altered the direction of his life. But the father didn’t even wait for this young man to make the journey all the way home.

When the father saw his estranged son coming, he ran to meet the boy, embracing

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the son even before he confessed his wrongdoings.

The father’s love didn’t grow or shrink based on the son’s repentance. But the son’s repentance unlocked his ability to receive and accept the father’s love. Faith and repentance are the foundation of a powerfully transformed life, because they “lead to salvation and leave no regret.” :MIMBS 6 If repentance won’t make God love you more than He already does, then why is it important to repent? What is one area where you need to change your mind and alter the direction of your life? Share your thoughts with your group.

Daily Reading: Job 1:1-3:26, 1 Corinthians 14:1-17, Psalm 37:12-29, Proverbs 21:25-26.

Thursday—August 22 • He Shows His Love Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Isaiah 43:1-3

I read about a young man on the Florida coast who graduated from high school, and within eight weeks he got addicted to cocaine. He stole a rifle and got arrested. Because of a quirk in Florida law, the young man received a mandatory 10-year sentence, because he had sold the rifle and it could not be recovered. That boy’s father spent the next year, and $50,000, trying to rescue his son.

Finally he made a desperate decision.

Entering the drug world, he bought information. Somehow he found the drug dealer to whom his son had sold the rifle, and he bought it back. Then he got a mitigation

hearing for the boy. He explained how much he loved his son. He described how he retrieved the rifle and pleaded for mercy.

Because of the father’s impassioned plea, the judge released the boy for time served.

That true story reflects the love that God has for each of His children. Because you are His son, God will go to great lengths to show you how much He loves you :MIMBS 6 What is one way God has gone to great lengths to show you that He loves you?

Daily Reading: Job 4:1-7:21, 1 Corinthians 14:18-40, Psalm 37:30-40, Proverbs 21:27

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Friday/Saturday/Sunday—August 23, 24, 25 Condition Doesn’t Alter Value For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39

Even if we know intellectually that God loves us, most of us struggle from time to time to really accept that truth in our hearts. Sometimes we need to be reminded of the consistency of God’s unconditional love for us.

How can we know for sure that God really cares for us as individuals? Think about it this way: take a bill out of your wallet and wad it up into a tight ball. Then spread it out again. It will look a little “worse for the wear,” but it’s just as valuable as it was before you mangled it. Obviously, you don’t want to throw it away. You’ll put it right back in your wallet, because the condition of the bill does not alter its value.

That illustration reflects the truth of the gospel.

You can’t do anything bad enough to make God stop loving you.

He’s willing to forgive you. No matter how tattered you look to outsiders, your value to God remains unchanged. You have the same value to God as the day you were conceived in your mother’s womb. This is the gospel of Jesus.

If you want to receive the assurance that God loves and values you, then I invite you to pray with me: God, I want to believe this, but I can’t believe without your help. I can’t repent or turn from my wrong ways without Your help. I’m asking You to help me repent. I’m sorry that I have not believed all of these signs You’ve given that You really do care about me. I receive it by faith. I trust that, because I am Your son, You really do love me. You care about me personally. I take it into my heart. Amen. :MIMBS 6 In today’s Scripture, Paul wrote that he was “convinced” of God’s love. Are you convinced?

Explain your answer.

Reading: Job 8:1-19:29, 1 Corinthians 15:116:24, Psalm 38:1-40:10, Proverbs 21:28-22:1

For Your Small Group

❏❏ August 19–25: Ask someone to read aloud Luke 15 to the group.

•• What is similar about those three parables?

•• What do those parables tell you about the character of God? •• Does your life reflect the heart of God for the lost? Why or why not?

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Monday—August 26 • A Man’s Wiring So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:27

A man is capable of heroism and created for purpose. Yet it can be confusing when we crossreference that with beer ads, mocking sitcoms, and popular music. These things tear down the message of biblical manhood.

What does the Bible say about how a man is wired?

When we consider Adam, the first man, we often think of failure. But by studying him, we learn a lot about a man’s wiring.

First and foremost, God created Adam in His image. Then in Genesis 3, the Fall takes

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place, transforming these images of God to fallen images of God. As Christians, we acknowledge our fallen state and God redeems us through Christ.

However, everything this fallen image encompasses—our propensity for heroism and cowardice, pride and humility, compassion and greed— stems from this wiring. The center of our wiring diagram is that we are the fallen and redeemed images of God. :MIMBS 7 What are some ways that you see this basic wiring reflected in your life?

Daily Reading: Job 20:1-22:30, 2 Corinthians 1:1-11, Psalm 40:11-17, Proverbs 22:2-4

Tuesday—August 27 • Something to Give Your Life To Fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.

Genesis 1:28

Soon after God created Adam, He gave him a mission—to rule over and subdue the earth. As Christians, we aren’t called to be separated from the world. Instead, we are called to the mission of going into the world and serving God by making it a better place.

As men, we’re wired to want something worthy to give our lives to. God placed this desire in us for the purpose of affecting the world and accomplishing His will here on earth.

The fulfillment of this desire looks different for each of us—one man may lead a family, another runs an addiction

recovery center, one pastors a congregation, the next coaches a soccer team. But a common thread exists among all the various ways we affect the world for good: the greater mission of Matthew 28:19, to go and make disciples of Jesus Christ. :MIMBS 7 What greater mission do you feel called to? Has God placed a desire inside of you—a purpose—that you’ve neglected? What are smaller ways you carry out the calling of God on a daily basis?

Daily Reading: Job 23:1-27:23, 2 Corinthians 1:12-2:11, Psalm 41:1-13, Proverbs 22:5-6

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Wednesday—August 28 • Wired for Companionship

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The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Genesis 2:18 Although Adam had fellowship with God, God recognized that he also needed other companionship. God wired man to be relational—to be both influenced by others and influential to others.

Most men move in various spheres of influence—the workplace, little league practice, choir rehearsal, family dinner, a neighborhood watch meeting, etc. In every relationship, there is typically one person doing the influencing, whether it’s subtle or dramatic.

God said it is not good for man to be alone. Isolated

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from relationships, we can’t fulfill the call to make disciples, demonstrate love, or be sharpened by other Christians. Just as we are wired to have something to live for, we are wired to have someone to share it with.

We need to look at all our relationships through this lens of purpose, value, and opportunity. :MIMBS 7 Is your influence on those around you drawing people toward God or away from God? Does it vary by setting?

How? Daily Reading: Job 28:1-30:31, 2 Corinthians 2:12-17, Psalm 42:1-11, Proverbs 22:7

Thursday—August 29 • Passivity The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

Genesis 3:12

Adam did not set out to go against God— he did not premeditate a path of rebellion.

Genesis 3:6 tells us simply that Eve gave some of the fruit to Adam, who was with her, and he ate it. Adam’s mistake was being passive. This shows how dangerous it is to assume that passivity is any less destructive than, say, evil or greed.

Look at Adam’s passivity: First, he was hanging out in the wrong place. God told him eating from this tree in the middle of the Garden would bring death; he

should’ve been nowhere near it! Second, he was listening to bad counsel; he was just as fooled by the serpent as Eve was. Finally, he took the fruit and ate it—he should have protected Eve from even talking to the serpent in the first place!

There is a real enemy, and temptations always surround us. That is why we have to plan our victories and be intentional about honoring God. Complacency in our relationship with God often breeds passivity in every other area of our lives. :MIMBS 7 Have you allowed passivity or apathy into areas of your life? What active changes can you make this week?

Daily Reading: Job 31:1-33:33, 2 Corinthians 3:1-18, Psalm 43:1-5, Proverbs 22:8-9

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Friday/Saturday/Sunday—August 30, 31, September 1 Fellowship With God He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” And he said, “Who told you that you were naked?”

Genesis 3:10–11

In Donald Miller’s book Searching For God Knows What, Miller reflects upon the results of the Fall, fascinated by how Moses summarizes the creation of Adam and Eve by remarking that they were both naked and not ashamed.

Likewise, the very first thing that Moses reports after the Fall is they realized they were naked and were ashamed.

Out of all the things that surely resulted from them eating from the tree, why the focus on the sudden awareness of their nudity? This awareness of self? To answer that, Miller explores a man’s wiring.

God wired man so that he received his glory and sense of self through perfect fellowship with Him. Because of this security, Adam and Eve walked around unashamedly naked. When this relationship became broken, however, they felt it immediately; all the shame flooded to the surface and they became selfaware in a way they’d never known. Adam,

suddenly scared, hid from the very God who created and loved him.

Like Adam, our wiring is skewed because of the Fall. As fallen images of God, we often go everywhere else for acceptance, identity and security. We want accomplishments and other people to communicate to us who we are instead of the God who created us.

But through Jesus Christ, we are able to again experience some of the fellowship with God that was lost because of the Fall. Christ came to rewire and mend what is broken. :MIMBS 7 Have you settled for success sickness or people pleasing, instead of allowing God to tell you who you are? What are ways you can pursue deeper intimacy and fellowship with Him? Daily Reading: Job 34:1-42:17, 2 Corinthians 4:1-5:21, Psalm 44:1-45:17, Proverbs 22:10-14

For Your Small Group

❏❏ August 26–September 1: Take a few minutes and write down one sentence that describes the mission of your life.

•• Is that sentence something that you have thought about before today?

•• What actions would show someone that that sentence is true for you?

•• How can you more actively participate in that mission?

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Monday—September 2 • Leadership Crisis

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So the Lord said to Moses, “Take Joshua son of Nun, a man in whom is the spirit of leadership, and lay your hand on him.

Numbers 27:18 Earlier this year, I did a Google search on the term “leadership crisis,” and I got 69,500 hits. When I started scanning the stories, I found everything from local police scandals to political footballs being tossed around but never brought to resolution.

All across our culture we see a void of leadership. We see that men are not stepping up to act as the leaders God has called them to be. One-third of American children now live in homes without fathers. In some zip codes, more than 80 percent of the children live in fatherless households. And statistics tell us that children from fatherless homes are five times more likely to enter the juvenile justice system, to repeat a

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grade in school, and to live in poverty.

Even among fathers who stay with their families, many don’t know how to lead in a godly way in the midst of an ungodly culture. God’s Word consistently compares leaderless people to sheep who wander without a shepherd. God is seeking men who will accept the challenge of becoming godly leaders. :MIMBS 8 What do you think is the most obvious evidence of a leadership crisis in our culture? How about in our churches?

Daily Reading: Ecclesiastes 1:1-3:22, 2 Corinthians 6:1-13, Psalm 46:1-11, Proverbs 22:15

Tuesday—September 3 • Leadership Has Consequences

Therefore this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says to the shepherds who tend my people: “Because you have scattered my flock and driven them away and have not bestowed care on them, I will bestow punishment on you for the evil you have done,” declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 23:2 Many men are so busy doing the things that need to be done that they’ve lost sight of the fact that God wove a pattern for leadership into the fabric of His world. There is a sense in which, as a leader, you represent the people God places under your influence.

Leadership is never neutral. We can’t just put it on cruise control and hope it happens by osmosis. If we are not influencing people around us for good—encouraging them to trust Christ more, follow Him more, love Him more—then we are showing by our example that they can ignore Christ.

I really believe that God intends us all to be leaders. And in that context, we are either helping those around us to become the people God desires, or we are helping them ignore Him by living independently from Him. God warned of grave

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consequences when those who rise to leadership have evil intentions. But He also warned of serious repercussions rising from “good” leaders who don’t lead. The consequences are devastating for both the leader and the people he has been called to lead. :MIMBS 8 Today’s devotional says, “If we are not influencing people around us for good— encouraging them to trust Christ more, follow Him more, love Him more—then we are showing by our example that they can ignore Christ.” How would you respond to that comment if someone said it in a conversation with you?

Daily Reading: Ecclesiastes 4:1-6:12, 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:7, Psalm 47:1-9, Proverbs 22:16

Wednesday—September 4 • Defining Leadership The king said to me, “What is it you want?” Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king, “If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my ancestors are buried so that I can rebuild it.”

Nehemiah 2:4-5

Nehemiah was an exiled Jew, serving as a government official in a foreign country.

Hearing that Jerusalem was in a disgraceful state, he believed God was calling him to do something about it. He started praying, and months passed with no opportunity. Then, suddenly, the king asked him why he looked so sad. With courage anchored in the calling God had given him, Nehemiah made a bold request to a pagan official—“Please send me home so I can lead my people in rebuilding our city.” He even went so far as to request the king’s help in providing supplies for the reconstruction project.

If you read the rest of the book of Nehemiah in the Old Testament, you’ll

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see some incredible leadership lessons.

Through Nehemiah’s example, you’ll find that true leadership can best be defined as lovingly influencing people to pursue God’s vision. Nehemiah’s leadership ability began with a servant heart and an authentic desire to help his people be all that God wanted. That is the starting point for good, biblical leadership. :MIMBS 8 Is “lovingly influencing people to pursue God’s vision” a good definition of leadership? Why or why not? Share your thoughts with your group.

Daily Reading: Ecclesiastes 7:1-9:18, 2 Corinthians 7:8-16, Psalm 48:1-14, Proverbs 22:17-19

Thursday—September 5 • Genuine Caring Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Philippians 2:3-4

My dad retired as a senior vice president of a major communications company. In his last decade there, he had responsibility for the company’s physical assets, including buildings, trucks, and maintenance equipment. The company owned repair facilities for their vehicles, and naturally the maintenance and repairs mainly took place at night.

Once, before my dad came to visit me, he found out one of those facilities was just a few miles from our home in Orlando. When he arrived, he phoned the manager who ran the facility and asked if he could stop in for a visit that evening.

He ended up spending about 30-45 minutes with that gentleman. Near the end of the

chat, the supervisor told him, “You’re the first executive from our company who has ever talked to me in person.”

Over the next several months, my dad must have heard from a dozen people throughout the organization who said, “Oh! You’re the guy who visited the maintenance facility in Orlando.” Godly leadership communicates genuine caring, because it “looks to the interests of others.” :MIMBS 8 Describe a time when someone in leadership communicated genuine caring to you. What was the impact?

Daily Reading: Ecclesiastes 10:1-12:14, 2 Corinthians 8:115, Psalm 49:1-20, Proverbs 22:20-21

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q Friday/Saturday/Sunday—September 6, 7, 8 • Imitate Christ Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

1 Corinthians 11:1 Imagine you’re getting on a gondola to see the aerial view of a large ski resort. The tram is hooked to cables which connect to gears in the structure at the bottom or top of the lift. The gondola provides a comfortable ride, but the gears do the actual work of transportation. That’s a picture of godly leadership. Jesus is like the gear house, and we are completely dependent on His work in and through us to influence lives around us. Godly leadership requires a complete reliance on Jesus. He gives power and ability to influence and help people to accomplish His purpose. We are Christ’s representatives. He wants to use us as leaders, but we accomplish His desire as we imitate Him. Maybe God is calling you to make a real investment in your church, even if you don’t agree with everything, and even though it can be messy sometimes. He may want you to work through some relationship issues with people you’ve been trying to avoid. Maybe you’ve been beaten down at work, and you’re just putting in

time at your job. Is God calling you to be a leader in a negative work environment?

Or maybe you’ve assumed that “following the rules” will rescue your marriage.

You’ve been doing date nights and trying to communicate with your wife. You’ve been providing. Is God calling you to invest yourself in lovingly influencing your wife and children to pursue God’s vision?

If you’re running from some area of responsibility, let me encourage you to stop. Your heart wants to make a difference. You want to be a man of influence. That’s God’s will for you. You don’t have to run away from it. You can become that man by following Christ. :MIMBS 8 Where is God calling you to invest yourself in lovingly influencing people to pursue God’s vision? How can following Christ’s example help you to do that? Ask another man for his thoughts.

Reading: Song of Solomon 1:1-8:14, Isaiah 1:1-2:22, 2 Corinthians 8:16-10:18, Psalm 50:152:9, Proverbs 22:22-27.

For Your Small Group

❏❏ September 2–8: Name three men from the Bible that you would call true leaders (for example: Moses, David, John the Baptist, etc.).

•• How do you know they were leaders?

•• Why did people follow them?

•• How did they influence future generations? What is one application for your life?

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Monday—September 9 • Don’t Seek to Control Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you.

But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach . . . ” Matthew 23:1-3

Jesus talked about religious leaders who tried to be the conscience for everyone.

They established rules to control people.

We’ve all experienced that in one context or another. And probably we’ve all faced the temptation to control something or someone.

Suppose my kids stay exuberant long after my tolerance for exuberance has expired.

They are running or screaming or picking on each other. And I finally explode. Or suppose I’m expecting a call at the office from someone I don’t want to talk to, so I tell my secretary, “Just say I’m not here.”

In both of those situations my sin of anger or lying is grounded in my desire to be in control.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t strive to accomplish certain well designed goals. But we cross a line when we go from working hard to making an idol out of an idealized goal. When we cross that line, we can no longer function as a true leader who lovingly influences people to pursue God’s vision, because we’re working from our own agenda rather than God’s. MIMBS 9 Name one time in the last week where you were tempted to control a situation based on your agenda rather than God’s agenda. How did you respond to that temptation?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 3:1-5:30, 2 Corinthians 11:1-15, Psalm 53:1-6, Proverbs 22:28-29

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Matthew 23:5-7 A Jewish person would wear a small leather box strapped to his arm or his forehead.

This was called a phylactery, and it was designed to hold Scriptures. This tradition grew from a passage in the book of Deuteronomy telling the Israelites to fix God’s words on their hands or foreheads.

In today’s passage, Jesus addressed religious leaders who wanted extra-wide phylacteries with long tassels. They wanted everyone to see them and think they were more holy than other people. Even in their religious expression, they were looking out for their own interests. It’s often easy to notice this happening in other people’s lives, but we’re not as aware when it happens in our own lives.

I’ve been involved in men’s ministry for 20 years, and I have to say, sometimes I’d like some recognition for that. Or I may have a child who becomes disrespectful, and I want to manipulate or force him to give me the respect I think I deserve. A godly leader is intentional about not giving in to a selfish orientation. MIMBS 9 Describe one situation from the past week where your external behavior revealed something about your internal motivations.

What did your actions reveal about your internal attitude?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 6:1-7:25, 2 Corinthians 11:16-33, Psalm 54:1-7, Proverbs 23:1-3

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Wednesday—September 11 • Why We Do What We Do

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“But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers.

And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven.

Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah.”

Matthew 23:8-10 Anyone striving to be a godly leader can benefit from asking God to make him aware of his motivations. Many external behaviors have their roots in some form of self-orientation. For instance, the desire to control is often driven by a fear of looking bad in front of other people.

It’s easy to understand how that happens.

First of all, our culture embraces a “me first” mentality. And then, many of us grew up in circumstances where we came to believe that “no one else will take care of me, so I have to do this myself.” And so, we try to control rather than simply trusting Jesus.

In today’s passage, I believe Jesus spoke in hyperbole. He wasn’t saying that it’s wrong

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to recognize your dad or to honor a godly teacher. Instead, he was referring to a religious culture that elevated certain people and allowed them to control others. In today’s language, he basically was saying, “A godly leader doesn’t let anyone but God be his ultimate CEO, and he encourages others to pursue that same commitment.” MIMBS 9 In your own words, describe how trusting Jesus can diminish our desire to control people or circumstances.

Daily Reading: Isaiah 8:1-9:21, 2 Corinthians 12:1-10, Psalm 55:1-23, Proverbs 23:4-5

Thursday—September 12 • Leading by Serving Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.”

Mark 10:42-44

The Gospel tends to reverse the way we view life. God’s plan seems paradoxical, because it calls us to find our lives by losing them.

Today’s passage, for instance, says the greatest leaders will be those who serve others. Jesus calls us to abandon our agendas and submit to his plan. We often want to control our own lives, and the lives of those around us. But ultimately, a person can work out all the time, eat a vegetarian diet, have a great security system in his home, buy the safest car in the world—he’s going to die sometime. We can have

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an illusion of control, but in reality we will never have ultimate control.

Jesus calls us to admit that, and to submit to His authority. That's when we find freedom to love and serve others, because we don’t feel a need to manage everything ourselves. When I really experience Christ’s love for me, it releases me from the ultimate need to look out for myself. I can trust him to take care of me. MIMBS 9 How has your understanding of the Gospel reversed the way you view life, especially when you compare it to how our culture views life?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 10:1-11:16, 2 Corinthians 12:11-21, Psalm 56:113, Proverbs 23:6-8

Friday/Saturday/Sunday—September 13, 14, 15 Good Leaders Follow Jesus “ . . . The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Matthew 23:11-12

Jesus clearly turned the worldly ideal of leadership upside-down when He told His disciples, “The greatest among you will be your servant.” We think of leadership in terms of vision and motivation and power.

But Jesus said a good leader becomes a servant. I don’t think that means leadership skills are totally unimportant.

By all means, pursue training that will provide practical skills to undergird your leadership ability. But remember, if you aren’t following Jesus, those skills will make not make you a better leader in God’s eyes.

Being a good leader does not primarily depend on your ability to lead, but on your ability to follow Jesus. You have to stay connected to Him. On March 9, 1976, a group of 44 people entered a gondola at a ski resort in Italy.

They thought this would be an ordinary trip, but something went terribly wrong.

The gondola broke free, falling 660 feet down the mountainside. The three-ton carriage assembly fell on top of it, completely crushing the cabin.

The investigation revealed that one wire was severed, and that caused the worst disaster in the history of gondola ski lifts. A

vital connection became disconnected and 43 people died.

In today’s passage, Jesus talked about leaders who become disconnected from their power source because they exalt themselves. He said those leaders will be humbled. The goal of godly leadership is to lovingly influence people to pursue God’s vision. We can only accomplish that as we stay connected to Jesus, so He can love others through us. MIMBS 9

What habits are you developing to help you stay connected to Jesus?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 12:1-21:17, 2 Corinthians 13:1-14, Galatians 1:1-2:16, Psalm 57:1-59:17, Proverbs 23:9-14

For Your Small Group

❏❏ September 9–15: Think of an area in your life that you attempt to control.

•• How have you succeeded in controlling there?

•• How would that situation change if you gave up control?

•• Are you willing to surrender control to God? Why or why not?

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Monday—September 16 • Open Arms

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But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

Luke 15:19b Some kids can’t wait until they turn 18 to leave home and live on their own. They have pushed the boundaries and are tired of rules. Their only desire is to distance themselves from their family.

Every so often you hear of a recording artist in Nashville or movie star in Hollywood who experienced this path and gained great success. Their journey generally had more to do with accomplishing a dream or deep desire.

They had an inward drive to use their talent.

Many adolescents, who just want to escape their family or hometown, don’t attain great success. They struggle to make ends meet, take on odd or even dangerous jobs and make many immature choices along the way.

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What’s a parent to do?

The only things you can do are to pray for them and love them. Love means your heart and arms are always open to them. It may mean you get on a plane and go after them or you may have years of waiting on them to make a move toward you. The actions you need to take may not be obvious, but what is clear is that we all must be open and ready for reconciliation. :MIMBS 10 If you’ve ever been estranged from someone, regardless of whose “fault” it was, describe how you felt. If you’re not already reconciled, what is standing in the way?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 22:1-24:23, Galatians 2:17-3:9, Psalm 60:1-12, Proverbs 23:15-16

Tuesday—September 17 • A Father’s Heart Joab the son of Zeruiah knew that the king’s heart longed for Absalom.

2 Samuel 14:1

The chapters immediately preceding today’s verse tell a seedy story about King David’s family. You may recall that David’s son Amnon raped his sister Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1-21). A full two years passed before another son named Absalom took vengeance by murdering Amnon.

Then Absalom fled and found protection under another king (2 Samuel 13:37). At the point of today’s Scripture, Absalom apparently had been away for about three years.

Joab was a commander in David’s army, but he also was David’s nephew. Perhaps something in that relationship gave him a glimpse into David’s heart. At any rate, he saw that David’s heart longed for the son who ran away.

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It’s normal for a father to love his son or daughter, regardless of the child’s behavior.

So David’s heart longed for Absalom. That reflects God’s heart for us as His children.

No matter what you’ve done, God loves you with a Father’s heart. No wicked, perverted, or sick action can ever separate you from God’s everlasting love. :MIMBS 10 Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of the kind of longing that filled David’s heart? Describe your experience. How does that reflect God’s love for you?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 25:1-28:13, Galatians 3:10-22, Psalm 61:1-8, Proverbs 23:17-18

Wednesday—September 18 • A Mediating Friend So Joab sent someone to Tekoa and had a wise woman brought from there.

He said to her, “. . . Act like a woman who has spent many days grieving for the dead. Then go to the king and speak these words to him . . .”

2 Samuel 14:2-3

Knowing that David longed for his estranged son Absalom, Joab asked a wise woman to pretend one of her sons accidentally killed the other. She asked David to intervene so the other son wouldn’t be killed in punishment. She said, “Then let the king invoke the Lord his God to prevent the avenger of blood from adding to the destruction, so that my son will not be destroyed” (2 Samuel 14:11). David agreed to intervene, and then this woman basically asked him, “Why won’t you do this for your own son?”

It’s relatively easy to find answers for others. In fact, if someone comes to me with a business question or a relational question probably 99 percent of the time

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I can recommend a course of action that would solve the problem. But when I’m dealing with my own problems, I often go into a big fog. That’s what David experienced. David knew exactly how to help the people in the woman’s fictional tale. But he couldn’t solve his own problem until someone helped him see it from a different angle. :MIMBS 10 Do you know of a situation where you could be a mediating friend to help bring resolution to a disagreement? Or do you need someone to be a mediating friend to you? Whom could you ask?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 28:14-30:11, Galatians 3:23-4:31, Psalm 62:1-12, Proverbs 23:19-21

Thursday—September 19 • Passive vs. Proactive Then Joab went to Geshur and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem. But the king said, “He must go to his own house; he must not see my face.” So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the face of the king.

2 Samuel 14:23-24

Because of difficulties within their family, King David and his son Absalom were estranged. In fact, Absalom had fled to another region. After three years, a friend’s intervention brought David to the point of allowing his son to return home, but still David refused to see him. For the three years that Absalom was away, David’s passivity in the relationship caused them to stay estranged. Then, when the son returned, it appears that David avoided any kind of conflict resolution. Instead of bringing the young man back and sitting down with him to work through the conflict, David basically said, “He can come back, but he can’t see me.” Even though David allowed Absalom to return home, they did not experience any true reconciliation.

This text pretty much shows the wrong way to handle an estranged relationship.

If you’re grieved over a strained relationship, I challenge you to go after that person.

If he’s ready to come back, that’s great. If he’s not, let him know you’ll be there when he’s ready. If necessary, seek counsel, but be proactive rather than passive. :MIMBS 10 Describe a broken relationship that you have experienced or are experiencing. If that experience was in the past, how would it have helped if you had been proactive? If that experience is happening now, what steps can you take to be proactive?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 30:12-33:9, Galatians 5:112, Psalm 63:1-11, Proverbs 23:22

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Friday/Saturday/Sunday—September 20, 21, 22 Reconciliation without Repentance?

Absalom said to Joab, “. . . Now then, I want to see the king’s face, and if I am guilty of anything, let him put me to death.” So Joab went to the king and told him this. Then the king summoned Absalom, and he came in and bowed down with his face to the ground before the king. And the king kissed Absalom.

2 Samuel 14:32-34

The Old Testament record of King David’s family takes many twists and turns. David’s son Amnon raped his sister Tamar. Then another one of David’s sons, Absalom, murdered Amnon to gain revenge. When Absalom fled to another country, David remained passive in the relationship. A friend convinced him to allow Absalom to return home, yet David refused to see his estranged son. After two years, Absalom forced the issue, and that brings us to the passage quoted above. David finally agreed to see his son. But he did not confront Absalom about the murder that led to the estrangement. And clearly, Absalom was not repentant. In fact, if you look at the next chapter, you’ll find that Absalom began conspiring to become king instead of his father.

Relationships are sometimes like a plate of cold spaghetti—they get all messy and gnarled together. If you’re

in a sticky situation that needs resolution, please be aware that, regardless of who is at fault, you have a responsibility to forgive.

And usually there’s room for you to ask for forgiveness as well. In David’s situation, for instance, Absalom certainly bore most of the blame for the estrangement, but David contributed to it as well. Both king and prince really needed to ask for and receive forgiveness. That would have opened a variety of options whereby the Holy Spirit could work to bring true reconciliation. But true repentance usually is necessary for the true reconciliation that heals relational brokenness, and does not allow it to continue and to overshadow the future as it has the past. :MIMBS 10 Why is true reconciliation impossible without true repentance? How have you seen this in your life or in the lives of men you know?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 33:1041:16, Galatians 5:13-6:18, Ephesians 1:1-23, Psalm 64:166:20, Proverbs 23:23-28

For Your Small Group

❏❏ September 16–22: Name a book or movie that deals with the issue of difficult relationships (for example: Rudy, A Christmas Carol, The Blind Side, Les Miserable, The Lion King, etc.).

•• What struggles did the characters in those books or movies face?

•• How did they work through those struggles?

•• Is there someone from whom you are estranged and need prayer for reconciliation?

What is one step you could take?

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Monday—September 23 • Effective Communication The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

Luke 6:45

In business, if you want to compliment a man, you say he gets things done. How does he do that? Well, he works hard, and usually he’s articulate. He listens, and he responds clearly in conversation. He’s an effective communicator, even in situations that require conflict resolution.

But even people who don’t think they are good communicators find they can talk about something that is interesting to them.

I have three brothers. The youngest, named Bill, is very quiet. His personality does not drive him to compete for attention. But several years ago he developed an interest in aviation. He bought a small plane and flew to California and back. Suddenly he began

talking a lot about his new area of interest.

Even the quietest person can become an effective communicator, if he focuses on the things that interest him. The scripture above applies that principle to all types of communication—good and bad. What’s in our hearts, the Scripture says, will eventually come bubbling out of our mouths. :MIMBS 11 Think about your conversations in the last 24 hours. How have they reflected what is in your heart?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 41:17-43:13, Ephesians 2:1-22, Psalm 67:1-7, Proverbs 23:29-35

q Tuesday—September 24 • Exploring Other People’s Interests My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

James 1:19–20 Let’s say you go to a business appointment, and you’re trying to build a relationship.

So you say, “What do you do in your spare time?”

And the guy sitting across the table from you says, “Well, I love the ballet.”

You’re probably thinking, “What?” But you say, “That’s fascinating. Tell me more.”

If this man really is interested in ballet, you probably are going to get an explanation of the intricacies of ballet. You might be doing everything possible to keep your eyelids from closing, and yet for a business appointment, you will invest time in building a relationship by allowing that man to communicate about the thing that holds his interest.

The Book of James notes, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak,

and slow to become angry.” We readily act on that in a business setting, when we are trying to build a relationship for the purpose of making a deal. Are you as willing to invest time listening in the other areas of your life as you are in your work? In the process of building and maintaining relationships—with our families, neighbors and brothers—time spent listening will yield great rewards. :MIMBS 11 Think about your last true conversation. Was it related to business, or was it personal?

How much time did you spend? And what percentage of that time did you invest in listening? Ask a few other men their honest opinion of you as a listener.

Daily Reading: Isaiah 43:14-45:10, Ephesians 3:1-21, Psalm 68:1-18, Proverbs 24:1-2

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q Wednesday—September 25 • Consider Your Wife’s Interests

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Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3–4 These verses describe actions of humility.

In context, they refer to choices that benefit others and not just ourselves. In the business world, we often build relationships by paying attention to other people’s chosen activities.

We may be less likely to do that at home.

If you really want to build your relationship with your wife, don’t dismiss her interests as unimportant.

Give her the respect of listening to her. This has been a big area of struggle for me.

My love language is quality time. I want to spend every moment possible with Patsy.

The problem is we don’t like the same

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things. I’ve had to intentionally choose not to put unrealistic demands on her, requiring her to be interested in my hobbies. And I’ve had to learn to explore her interests. If you want to communicate confidently with your wife, and you want to have a better relationship, I challenge you to discover and participate in the things that are important to her. :MIMBS 11 What are the three activities that your wife most enjoys? When is the last time you participated in one of those activities with her?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 45:11-48:11, Ephesians 4:1-16, Psalm 68:19-35, Proverbs 24:3-4

Thursday—September 26 Men and Women Communicate Differently Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

1 Peter 3:7

Several years ago, at a Man in the Mirror faculty conference, we decided to use bumper cars as a team-building activity. Even the most mild-mannered men attacked me with the cunning of coyotes. I ended up with huge bruises on my hips and shins. When someone shattered the lens on my pocket PC, six men took credit.

Now, a couple of weeks previously, I went to check this place out. The only people there were a couple of high school girls.

I kept bumping them. I wanted them to speed up or get out of the way! Instead of bumping me back, they simply motioned for me to go ahead of them. Looking back, I realize our communication styles were somewhat different.

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Generally speaking, men transfer information, while women express feelings. If you want to grow your relationship with your wife, don’t shut down her opportunity to unburden her heart through communication. Try this. Ask your wife to tell you about her day. When she stops just say, “Go on.” And then, keep listening. :MIMBS 11 Describe a recent situation that shows how you and your wife communicate differently. If you could relive that situation, would you respond in the same way, or would you change your response?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 48:12-50:11, Ephesians 4:17-32, Psalm 69:1-18, Proverbs 24:5-6

Friday/Saturday/Sunday—September 27, 28, 29 Open Communication Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Live in harmony with one another.

Romans 12:15–16a

Everyone has burdens, and frankly, we all need people with whom we can share those burdens. When someone comes to talk to you about a burden, set your mind to listen without giving advice. The verse above says we should rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn. It doesn’t say we should advise those at either end of the spectrum. People shut down when they hear unwanted advice. And when they hear it repeatedly, they simply quit sharing. That’s true for your wife and every other person.

With regard to burdens, try to listen without dispensing your opinion.

Remember, communication isn’t all verbal. You may think it’s a small thing, but your body language can express unconditional love and acceptance.

It can communicate that you want to be with this person, and you intend to walk with them through their burdens, rather than simply advising and leaving.

Sometimes, even with the best

communication skills we may still run into conflict. There are two dysfunctional responses to conflict: anger and withdrawal.

Neither brings resolution because both interfere with effective communication.

Certainly, you may need to delay communication until tempers cool. But Paul Tournier reminds us that a lack of complete frankness is the greatest problem in communication.

Over a period of years, he explains, certain areas of your life will become “off limits” for discussion, because you and/or your wife anticipate a negative response. So whole areas of your relationship will become dysfunctional, because your relationship lacks openness and honesty.

Proverbs 16:13 notes, “Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth.” If husbands and wives are wise, they also will take pleasure in honest lips, as long as those lips speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). :MIMBS 11 How can you find the balance between being a consoler rather than a consultant, and “speaking the truth in love” in times of conflict?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 51:1-59:21, Ephesians 5:1-6:24, Philippians 1:1-26, Psalm 69:1971:24, Proverbs 24:7-10

For Your Small Group

❏❏ September 23–30: On a scale of 1–10 (1 = worst and 10 = best), what kind of a communicator are you?

•• What makes people poor communicators?

•• What makes people good communicators?

•• What is a practical way you could improve communication with someone important in your life?

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Monday—September 30 • Apples and Oranges Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength.

Jeremiah 17:5

If a person had an orange tree and decided he didn’t want it anymore, he could go out and pick off every orange. Next he could go to the store, buy a bagful of apples, come home and duct tape apples all over the tree.

But what would happen? In a few weeks, the apples would rot. And next year the oranges would be back. The only way to get rid of the oranges for good is to dig the tree up by the roots.

It works the same way with us. Often our system teaches men to “pick oranges and tape on apples.”

They deal with the symptoms of sin but never get to the root: their own unbelief. Even

if they are able to use willpower to control their sin for awhile, eventually it comes back stronger.

Christ offers men the chance to change from the roots. When you help men develop those roots, you’ll have fewer men involved in your ministry for what they can get, and more men involved for what they can give. NMLB Consider a problem you’ve gotten to the root of in your life.

How can you help the men in your group get to the root of their problem?

Daily Reading: Isaiah 60:1-62:5, Philippians 1:27-2:18, Psalm 72:120, Proverbs 24:11-12

Are You Free? continued from page 8

•Freedom • from the manipulations of other people.

Some Christians guilt us mercilessly with a non-Biblical, conscience binding moral code.

Defy legalism with wisdom and love.

So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. Romans 14:16 And it’s freedom for radical obedience, evangelism and sacrificial serving.

Galatians 5:13, 1 Corinthians 9 We are freed by Jesus not to be wild and to do whatever we want, obnoxiously flaunting our freedoms in the faces of other people, but using freedom to take us to the edge of impact for the glory of God and the good of people!

Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. 1 Peter 2:16 Those are the basics of Gospel Freedom…now dig in, chew it over and become free!

• Pete Alwinson

Pete was the founding pastor of Willow Creek Presbyterian Church, Winter Springs, Florida, and now serves as Vice President of Leadership and Men’s Discipleship at Key Life Network. His passion is to leave no man behind on the battlefield of life, but to encourage all men to grow in Christ and in turn, reach other men. To get to know more about Pete’s ministry at Key Life, go to www.freedomsedge.org.

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The Area Directors Speak Out: Freedom in Christ

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July 4th is Independence Day in America. In light of this holiday, we asked our Area Directors:

What does it mean to have freedom in Christ?

Rick Dokos, East Central Virginia, VA To me, “freedom in Christ” means being free from the bondage of sin.

Without Christ, our sin controls and motivates us; it makes us slaves.

It seems like an oxymoron, but giving control of our lives to Christ makes us free. We can be free knowing that our sin is paid for, our sin is forgiven, and grace now motivates us.

Rob Leonard, Central Indiana, IN It means that I don’t have to live with the regrets and guilt of a past life. I’ve been given something (eternal life) that I don’t deserve and now I’m called a son of God. My past baggage is gone and I am able to wake up each day with a clean slate and a desire to love and influence others to choose the same freedom He gave me.

Robby Holliday, Mid Plains, NE Freedom in Christ is moving forward in the knowledge that we are living from victory not for victory. We can battle evil with absolute assurance the burden falls on Christ giving us the freedom to battle without reservation.

Randy Williams, Blue Water, MI Freedom in Christ is not a license to do whatever we want. Rather it is the blessing of walking free from heavy burdens and free to experience and participate in His purposes in us.

Bob Ryan, Northwest Arkansas, AR Freedom in Christ to me means my cord to the dominion of the enemy was cut and I can now focus on becoming like Christ knowing that at times I will blow it. I can ask for forgiveness and receive it. God has a plan for my life that will bring glory to Him and I am free to pursue it.

David Hilty, Pittsburg North, PA Freedom in Christ means that I can serve Him in whatever way He calls me and I am free to leave the results up to Him. “Success” can always be measured by our faithfulness to the call, not necessarily by the fruit of our efforts.

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Four Questions for James Raffenaud

MEN

Host of The Marriage Show

HOW I S

1. How have you been influenced by a man ministering to you?

YOUR

I have been influenced greatly by men who have taken the time to pour into me.

That investment of their time, talent, and resources have shaped me into the man I am today. And the man I am becoming.

VISION

2. What’s the most important quality for men’s ministry leaders?

I believe that the most important quality is to be authentic. We need to be real about the temptations that we face and when we fail. What’s most helpful in reaching men is to let them in to see the chinks in our armor. That’s when others feel comfortable enough to share their shortcomings as well.

3. What is the greatest impact that a men’s discipleship ministry has had on your life or on the life of someone you have ministered to?

There have been many men whom God has used to influence me. My youth pastor growing up at Northland Church in Longwood, Florida was Vernon Rainwater. He’s the kind of man that we all wanted to be—talented, humble, a good husband, father, and friend. Meeting often with a cup of coffee in hand, God has used Vernon to be a voice of encouragement and to challenge me.

4. Share a pivotal moment in your ministry in the last year.

Our ministry produces The Marriage Show, a Late-Night talk show designed to make marriages stronger and support the local church. One of the strengths of the show is that it uniquely speaks to men.

On a recent Sunday a lady stopped me at church and said, “I just want you to know that my husband and I have been married for over 15 years. He will not participate in anything with ‘marriage’ in the title. He won’t read a book, go to a class or conference, or go to counseling. But he goes to The Marriage Show and really enjoys it.

And since you share regularly on the show that you go to counseling, he decided to finally go the marriage counseling with me. Thank you!" That's one of the reason the show exists. It's a catalyst for couples to take their next right step together.

Develop a compelling vision and the strategy to make it happen for the men in your church.

Bring your leaders to No Man Left Behind training this fall: Birmingham, AL Northwest Arkansas Memphis, TN Pittsburgh, PA

Philadelphia Area, PA Palmer, AK Noblesville, IN

Brainerd Area, MN Long Beach, CA Nashville, TN Dallas, TX

Churches that have implemented the No Man Left Behind Model report that in an average of just 2½ years, they had 48% more men attending church, and 84% more men involved in discipleship activities.

• James Raffenaud

James Raffenaud is the host of The Marriage Show. He loves Jesus, his wife, two sons and Elvis Presley (in that order). To find how to bring the show to your church as a fun, date night, please visit themarriageshow.com.

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Questions? Call 407-472-2110

NoManLeftBehind.com

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180 Wilshire Boulevard Casselberry, FL 32707

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