Equipping the Man in the Mirror April, May, June 2012 Devotional by Stephanie Lopez

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Table of Contents April/May/June 2012

Featured Articles

q Letter from the Editor by David Delk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 q 30 Things in 30 Months: A Father & Son “Bucket List” by Brett Clemmer. . . . . 4 q We Are Men on a Mission—A Recap of FUEL 2012. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 q Sharing Your Friends by Chuck Stecker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 q Raising a Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis (Book Excerpt). . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58 q 900,000 Books and Counting—Books! by the Box. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59

Resource Tools

q Equipping Your Men’s Small Group. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 q How to Use This Devotional. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 q Resource Catalog. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

Devotions

q April 2012 Devotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 q May 2012 Devotions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 q June 2012 Devotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45

We invited Rod Handley to be our guest devotional writer for this issue. Rod Handley is the Founder/ President of Character that Counts. He also co-founded “Teaching Guys Infinite Wisdom” in 2001 and today these groups meet all over the Kansas City metro area and other cities across America. He has written 16 books, including Character Counts: Who’s Counting Yours? Check out Rod’s devotionals on pages 18–20 and pages 27–33. Follow the One-Year Bible reading plan by reading the daily Scripture at the end of each devotion. To see the complete reading plan, go to www.oneyearbibleonline.com. At the end of many of the devotionals you will find an abbreviation for a resource that expands on the devotional material. For more information about the Man in the Mirror Bible Study (MIMBS) go to www.maninthemirror.org/archives/categories. DTMIM— Discipleship and the Man in the Mirror :MIMBS 1—Repeating the Mistake of our Fathers :MIMBS 2—The Life of David - When It's Okay to Lie :MIMBS 3—The Gospel— Free Gift :MIMBS 4—The Marriage Prayer—Part 1

:MIMBS 5—MIM Remix Friends—Risks & Rewards :MIMBS 6—When Will It Be My Turn? :MIMBS 7—An Act of Worship :MIMBS 8—Spiritual Progress :MIMBS 9— What to Tell Men About Their Marriages

Equipping the Man in the Mirror: April/May/June 2012, Vol. 7, No. 2 Publisher: Man in the Mirror, Inc. • CEO: Patrick Morley • Executive Editors: David Delk and Brett Clemmer Publication Manager: Lucy Blair • Art Director: Cathleen Kwas • Writers: Lucy Blair, Brett Clemmer and Ruth Ford Office: 180 Wilshire Blvd., Casselberry, Florida 32707 Phone: 800-929-2536 • Fax: 407-331-7839 • Web site: www.maninthemirror.org Copyright © 2012 by Patrick Morley and Man in the Mirror, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscription Information: One year—$25. Two years—$43. For reprint requests or bulk subscriptions call 407-472-2100 or send an email to EQMIM@maninthemirror.org and ask for reprint permissions. All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2010 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. SAll rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. Scripture marked nkjv taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

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First Things First

by David Delk, President, Man in the Mirror Are you tired? I am . And it’s not just me . Most men I know go through periods when the pace of life just seems overwhelming . At times it seems pretty much impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations . Frankly, sometimes I If there has ever just want to chuck it all, grab some ice cream and watch an action movie . been a time that our

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All men face demands from our wives, world needs real our kids, our friends, our pastors, men, it’s now . and our co-workers . Then we read blogs, Twitter, and Facebook . All that does is show us what all the über-efficient men are accomplishing and leave us wondering why we can’t be more like them . If we aren’t careful, we end up trying to juggle what we think of as ten or twenty really important balls . Then we wonder why it just isn’t working . Somehow we need to find a way to navigate this hyperactive culture we’ve built . I’ve recently asked God to help me focus on a few things that are really important . One of those things is being a dad . I now have two kids in college; my third is a sophomore in high school . (And yes, it does seem like yesterday that they were in diapers .) One of the realizations that came to me during this transition is that I need to be a different father to my sixteen year old than I was to the other two . Because he is a different person with different interests and needs, I need to be a different person as well . Am I willing to invest the time and energy it will take to father him the way he needs to be fathered? Am I willing to let the Holy Spirit change me from the inside out so that I can be the father God has called me to be? These are great questions—I’m trying to consistently let the answer be yes . In this issue, we want to give you practical and biblical ideas that will shape you as a man and a father . God’s calling on your life is too important to let it collapse under the weight of a thousand distractions . I pray that God will use this issue of Equipping the Man in the Mirror to help you slow down, hear His voice, and allow your mind and heart to be renewed by the gospel . If there has ever been a time that our world needs real men, it’s now . Until every church disciples every man,

David Delk President, Man in the Mirror

30 Things in 30 Months: A Father & Son “Bucket List” by Brett Clemmer, Vice President, Man in the Mirror

I have too often lived a life of good intentions. I think about things I want to do, but too many of them just never come to pass. I am at the beginning of a journey to make sure that good intentions lead to meaningful I don’t want to drop my son action, and also result in great memories. This is a off at college with a bucketful story about me and my son, of regrets—things I wished Jackson.

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we had done, experiences I In January of this year, I came to the realization my son, wished we had shared. halfway through his sophomore year in high school, had about 30 months to go until he graduated. Soon after that, he will be gone—off to college, maybe never to live with us full time again. (A parent can dream, right?) I don’t want to drop my son off at college with a bucketful of regrets—things I wished we had done, experiences I wished we had shared. So I set about to be intentional about maximizing the time I have left with him living in my home as a teenager.

One factor that I quickly needed to take into account is how different we are! I could think of something off the top of my head with my daughter, and she would likely say, “I was just thinking of that too!” But my son and I have very different temperaments and personalities. Thankfully, we both love Jesus and want to serve him. But sometimes we see the world through different lenses. I’ve learned to embrace that. He helps me see the world in a whole new way, for which I am often grateful—and sometimes frustrated, but that is another story for another time. So, how could I be intentional about getting the most out of my time with my son, do it in a way that has the highest likelihood of actually happening, and do things that HE would really want to do, as opposed to things I think he should like to do!?!? Here’s what I came up with: 30 Things in 30 Months—A “Bucket List” for My Son’s Remaining Years in High School. I’m pretty sure the movie The Bucket List and the TV show My Name is Earl influenced me, but who cares? Jackson and me at a Boston Red Sox game in the summer of 2011. He's now as tall as me!

I told him about the idea and— here’s the genius—I put him in continued on page 60

Hey Dad! Here's the first 11 things I came up with! 

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Do a home improvement project together Go snowboarding Go to one of dad’s speaking events with him Attend a Harlem Globetrotters game Father-son cooking (will include Butterbeer attempt)

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A movie marathon

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20 Shoot Guns Done February

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Go on a mission trip or build a Habitat house

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Go to a NASCAR race

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Play paintball

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Go to a Red Sox Spring Training Game

For the complete list and to follow Brett and Jackson’s progress, go to: www .30thingsin30months .blogspot .com

We Are Men on a Mission A Recap of FUEL 2012 Leaders from around the country gathered for the fifth time in Orlando for FUEL, the Man in the Mirror Annual Summit in early February . It was an amazing time of encouragement, learning, networking, fun and worship . After a reception and dinner, the Calvary Chapel Viera Gospel Choir opened the Summit program with an inspiring time of worship . David Delk and Brett Clemmer (president and vice president of Man in the

Mirror) delivered the keynote together, setting the tone for the Summit . Based on their talk, a poster with this saying was presented for the men to sign throughout the weekend: I am a man on a mission. By His grace, I will press forward. I will surrender it all for the One who gives me everything.

Early Friday morning, a busload of men left the hotel for the Winter Park Civic Center to attend the Man in the Mirror Bible Study . In its 26th year, the Bible Study has a weekly attendance of about 125 men live, and 5,000+ per week online! After an uplifting worship time with Jonathan Schroer, Brad Stine was our keynote speaker for the morning session . Brad is on a mission: “I want to see political correctness die . . . But first, I’d like to see it suffer!” Brad made the men laugh while presenting a powerful message, challenging the

attendees to be strong, Christian men standing on God’s Word . 8 Tools for Ministry was a recurring segment presented throughout the day on Friday— practical ideas for ministry that leaders could take back and implement right away . Jeff “Coach K” Kisiah presented a tool called Barnabas Luncheon Appointments, where he takes different guys to coffee or lunch— almost every day—and is intentional about his discipleship times . Ray Hilbert talked about Accountability vs . Acceptability, and encouraged men to add a “penalty” and “reward” to their accountability goals . David and Brett also presented tools from Man in the Mirror, including Marriage Prayer Cards, No Man Left Behind Model Cards, the Reach 3 Challenge, Praying for Your Pastor, and leading small groups with this magazine and the video Bible Studies online . Friday afternoon, Dr . Charles Cooper inspired with his message on Jesus’ words: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15) . He showed us this is a promise, not a command . So we don’t have to get men to behave, we just have to get men to love God! And the key to that? Help men understand how forgiven they are . The more men realize how much God forgives them, the more they will love God . Workshops throughout the weekend equipped leaders . Brian Doyle showed leaders how to use the movie Courageous to reach men . Rod Handley challenged men in the areas of integrity and moral purity . Pete Alwinson showed the “holy alliance” between church planting and men’s discipleship . Dave Wertheim challenged men in their marriages . Smaller churches implementing the model had their own session to discuss their unique challenges . Many men attended the session to learn about becoming an Area Director . A No Man Left Behind Conference (NMLBC) coincided with FUEL, and Saturday’s training sessions were open to the FUEL attendees . We concluded Saturday with the traditional Sharing Time, prayer for Pastors and newly appointed Area Directors, and a challenge and commissioning from Pat Morley . Glancing through the evaluations, it is obvious that FUEL was inspiring and encouraging to all who attended . “Insightful, Inspirational, Encouraging,” wrote one attendee . The overwhelming majority said FUEL was worth their time, energy and investment . They learned new tactics, reconnected with friends and met new leaders . See you next year at FUEL 2013!

Don’t just read about it—experience it! The Marriage Prayer Challenge: An Evening For Couples

The Marriage Prayer Challenge emphasizes the importance of prayer in marriage and features the elements that build a thriving relationship. At this two-hour evening event, together we will walk through this prayer and address topics like: • Faithfulness • Security • Conflict • Purpose • Unity • Sex • Encouragement • Finishing Strong

Have fun with this event! We’ll give you ideas of how to make it resonant for your couples, such as serving dessert, making it a date night, showing wedding photos, and more! After the event, capture the momentum with small groups, using the book. To schedule The Marriage Prayer Challenge at your church, call Man in the Mirror at 800-929-2536.

Pray Together—Stay Together. Divorce rates

drop dramatically to less than 1% for couples who pray together.

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Sharing Your Friends

Tap Into a Vital Resource for Your Sons by Dr. Chuck Stecker .

You’ve heard the phrase, “Show me your friends and I will show you your future .” There is a great deal of truth in that statement . In many surveys and research projects I have read, a key success factor for young adults is healthy, vital friendships . Kids also need intergenerational relationships—friendships with older adults . In fact, many studies indicate not only do they need them, but they actually want mature, older people in their lives . We have no problem wanting the best sports coach or teacher for our children . Shouldn’t we want our kids to have the best and wisest friends as well? An appropriate question, then, is: How do we as dads help our sons develop healthy relationships with mature men who can speak into their lives as friends? The best place to start is the pool of friends that we, as men, have already developed . Take a moment to think about the men you trust, whose opinions you value . In most cases, these friendships did not come easily . Great friendships take time and effort . As I look at the men who speak into my life, many of them are already friends with my sons and daughter . I cannot think of a better group of guys to have my sons or daughter call when they have a question or need to talk through an issue than the men I keep on “speed dial” in my life . As dads there are two critical steps we must take if we are to invest our friends into the lives of our children . First, we need to “get over ourselves” and quit thinking we are all our kids need for the tough decisions . Sometimes our kids need to have someone who is not “vested” in the issue . Dads, we always have a stake in the game . Often our sons need to talk with someone who is an objective outsider, with nothing to gain or lose from their decision . Second, we need to learn to be intentional . We need to release—even encourage—our friends to be our children’s friend with no requirement or expectation that they report back to us . So set up some breakfasts with your son and a few key friends . Go to the first one with them to handle the introductions . Some of them will “hit it off,” and some won’t . Encourage your son and your friend to foster the friendships that feel the most natural . Helping our sons and daughters have healthy friendships with older adults can be vital to their maturing process . Finding those older adults can be as simple as looking at your calendar to see who you meet with in your life and trust with the future of your child .

• DR. CHUCK STECKER

Rev . Chuck Stecker is the President and Founder of A Chosen Generation . Chuck and his wife Billie make their home in Littleton, Colorado and are a vital part of their home church, Grace Community Church . They have three grown children and three incredible granddaughters . www.achosengeneration.org

Equipping Your Men’s Small Group

Get all your men engaged in the regular study of God’s Word by using this magazine as a small group tool . At the end of each week’s devotions, you’ll see a box containing discussion questions and exercises . These can form the basis of your time together . These pages supplement those questions with additional steps . If you use this magazine with your men this quarter you will have:

pact in to see Christ’s im ed ne ho w ch ea ✔ Identiﬁed 3 men your life. or family. for your marriage t en em at st n sio vi ✔ Written a y in one another. encourage honest to s ay w d se us isc ✔D your family and u’d like to impact yo s ay w e th ed ✔ List community. group is each man in your at th s le gg ru st e ✔ Shared th currently facing . y day r your wife ever fo ” er ay Pr ge ria ✔ Prayed “The Mar for a month. lationship and e value of your re th nd ie fr a to ✔ Expressed friendship. ing in your life. for His perfect tim ks an th od G en ✔ Giv 3:17. ted on Colossians ta di me d an ed iz ✔ Memor behavior and a between changed ce en er ff di e th ✔ Learned changed heart. thers ionship between fa lat re t an rt po im e ✔ Recognized th and sons. love. imate standard of ✔ Studied God’s ult illingness to obedience in his w of t ac s m’ ha ra ✔ Examined Ab Isaac. sacriﬁce his son, Continued on page 12

Small Group Guide continued from page 11

q 4/1-4/8: In this week’s devotions, you’ll focus in on the events leading up to the Resurrection. SAS (Suggested Application Step): As a group, take the Reach 3 Challenge . Have each man write down the name of 3 men in their work or family who don’t know Christ . Commit to taking them to lunch or coffee in the next month just to get to know them . Pray daily that God would allow you to be a witness to them of what He has done in your life . Share your experiences throughout the month . You can order Reach 3 cards from www .maninthemirror .org . q 4/9-4/15: These devotions teach you about the signiﬁcance that God places on relationships. SAS: “A vision statement helps people discover what drives them, where their passions lie and what brings them energy and focus .” Do you have a mission/vision statement for your marriage or family? If so, would you share that with the group? If not, make an appointment with your wife to write one . Next week, be ready to share your vision statement with the group . q 4/16-4/22: In this week of devotions you’ll learn the diﬀerence

between honesty and dishonesty. SAS: What causes people to lie? What keeps people honest? Discuss specific events from the news when lies got people into trouble . Are there areas of your life where you find it diﬃcult to be honest? What are two ways we can help one another be honest? From last week, share about your time with your father or child .

q 4/23-4/29: Throughout this week, the devotions focus on what it looks like to live a practical Christian life. SAS: What is the difference between living life as a good person and living as a Christian? Are there ways that they are the same? How can Christians impact their family, their neighborhood, and their community? How can Christians have a negative impact on those same people? Make a list of the ways you’d like to impact those around you . q 4/30-5/6: This week your men will see what it means to be a man of

honor . SAS: In the devotional titled, “Staying Alert” on page 27, you are given three tips . Read those tips aloud to the group . Discuss what it means to run the race of life together as a team . How can your group be a team to one another? Ask each man to share one struggle they are facing in life . Throughout the next week, lift up each of these requests to God on behalf of your team members .

q 5/7-5/13: In this week’s devotions you will learn about God’s beautiful design of the marriage relationship between a husband and a wife. SAS: If married, what has been the greatest lesson you have ever learned about marriage? For this next month, would you be willing to pray The Marriage Prayer every day? Father, I said, “’Til death do us part”—I want to mean it. Help me love You more than her, and her more than anyone or anything else. Help me bring her into Your presence today. Make us one, like You are three in one. I want to hear her, cherish her, and serve her—So she would love You more and we can bring You glory. Amen. 12

q 5/14-5/20: This week you’ll look at the attributes of deep and mean-

ingful friendships. SAS: Many of us had special childhood friends. Through the internet, many have reconnected or stayed connected to those old friends. Is there a friendship that has been especially meaningful to you? How did that relationship impact your life? If possible, find a way to let that person know how much their friendship meant to you. Come back next week ready to share how you went about doing that.

q 5/21-5/27: This week’s devotionals address the mystery and purpose of

God’s timing in our lives. SAS: Think of an event in your life when your timing did not coincide with God’s timing. How did God use that time for your good? Have you ever given Him thanks for His answer of “No” or “Not yet”? Spend a few minutes in silent prayer thanking God for His perfect timing in that situation. From last week, were you able to let your friend know how much they have meant to you?

q 5/28-6/3: These devotions remind you that God has a purpose and a plan for

you at your workplace. SAS: Choose your favorite version or translation of this verse – “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3:17). On your daily drive to work, meditate on and memorize that verse and see how it changes your attitude about your job.

q 6/4-6/10: The devotional theme for the week is that God wants to

change your heart and not just your behavior. SAS: On a large piece of paper or whiteboard, make a list of differences between a changed heart and changed behavior. Now make a list of how they can look the same. Discuss which is more difficult to accomplish and why.

q 6/11-6/17: These devotions teach you about the importance of the father/son relationship. SAS: Make a short list of important attributes for dads to pass on to their sons. Discuss with the guys how you might teach some of those lessons to children. Throughout this next week, set apart an hour or afternoon to spend with your child or with your father. Consider telling them how much they mean to you and why they are so important to you. How can I show my love for God and others today?

q 6/18-6/24: This week you’ll focus on God’s ultimate standard of

love. SAS: From the devotional on page 54, “How Jesus Loves Us,” share the three ways that God expresses His love for us: He loves us as we are, He overlooks our offenses, and He forgives our sin. Can you explain what those three things mean to you? Which of those is most difficult for you to offer your wife or children or friends?

q 6/25-6/30: This week you’ll learn what it means to be obedient to God whether or not that makes us happy. SAS: Obedience is all about trust and control. Do we really trust God with our lives? Read aloud the story of Abraham and Isaac (Genesis 22:1-19) to the group. Discuss these issues from that story: Abraham’s obedience, his relationship to God, his relationship to Isaac, lessons that his actions taught Isaac, what He taught you about obeying God. 13

How to Use This Devotional

To make the most of Equipping the Man in the Mirror, we have dissected a devotional so you don’t miss any aspect of the magazine (see below).

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Source material

Correlating Scripture

Discussion/ journal questions

One-year Bible daily reading

Sunday—April 1 • “I Want to See.”

Bartimaeus was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Mark 10:46b-48 The story of Bartimaeus is well-known. A blind man hears Jesus walking down the road and calls out to him for help. The “proper” people around Jesus don’t want Bartimaeus to bother the rabbi. He’s a beggar, probably dirty, stinky and obviously, a little too loud. But he won’t be deterred. He just shouts louder. Jesus asks a monumental question: “What do you want me to do for you?” Stop. Think about this for a minute. If Jesus stopped in front of you and asked you this question, what would you say? Just stop and think about it for a minute. Did you come up with a list of things? I did. Bartimaeus’ request was remarkable for 2 reasons: first, it was just one thing. The most important thing in his life. And second, it was ridiculously big. “I want to see.” If this request were granted, there

could only be one conclusion: Jesus was the Son of God with supernatural power to heal a blind man. So He did it, as the Scriptures say, “immediately.” What is the one thing you need more than anything else? Something so big that only God could do it. Rescue your marriage? Save your wayward child? Help you find a job? Pray with me: “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” And listen for Him to answer, “What do you want me to do for you?” —Brett Clemmer What do you need Jesus to do for you? Think of the biggest issue in your life and ask God for His divine intervention. Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 18:1-20:20, Luke 9:28-50, Psalm 73:1-28, Proverbs 12:10

Monday—April 2 • The King of the World Rejoice greatly, Daughter Zion! Shout, Daughter Jerusalem! See, your king comes to you, righteous and victorious, lowly and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey. Zechariah 9:9

The devotions this week focus on the events leading up to Easter. In addition to the suggested readings, you may want to read a chapter of Mark each day this week, starting today with chapter 11. In that famous scene from the movie Titanic, Leonardo DiCaprio’s character stands on the railing at the bow of the ocean liner exulting in its power. “I’m the King of the World!” he proclaims. A great movie moment. Of course, the ship his feet are so firmly planted on eventually sinks. We often do a version of this ourselves. Standing at the bow of our own success, we lean forward and proclaim, “I’m the King of my world!” Yet too often, what we rely on

to make us feel good about ourselves is just one iceberg, one bad decision or one economic collapse away from sinking. There is one King. He rode into Jerusalem 2,000 years ago on a donkey. That day He started a chain of events that seemed like it would destroy Him. But in this movie, everything gets turned upside down. Jesus is the iceberg, and sin is the ship. —Brett Clemmer Are you the King of your world, or is God? What areas of your life are you relying on for your feelings of success? Repent and offer those to God in prayer. Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 21:1-22:30, Luke 9:51-10:12, Psalm 74:1-23, Proverbs 12:11

Tuesday—April 3 • Honoring God’s House

“Will you steal and murder, commit adultery and perjury, burn incense to Baal and follow other gods you have not known, and then come and stand before me in this house, which bears my Name, and say, ‘We are safe’—safe to do all these detestable things? Has this house, which bears my Name, become a den of robbers to you? But I have been watching!” declares the LORD. jeremiah 7:9-11 When I was a young businessman, I remember going through the process of looking for a church. I was keen on making good business contacts and I saw church as a place to do that. So I took my wife to several new churches and, unbeknownst to her, did “The BMW Test.” You guessed it: I was evaluating a church based on the value of the cars in the parking lot. God thwarted that effort, thankfully, without sending anyone with a whip. The moneychangers in the temple courts were not so fortunate. As Jesus “taught them,” according to Mark 11, He cited the passage above. But we shouldn’t think He was

talking only about the moneychangers actions. He was talking about our hearts as well. The church is God’s people, but it is also God’s house. When we gather together each week, it is a time to examine our hearts, to make sure we don’t “follow other gods . . . and then come and stand before” God and act like nothing’s wrong. Our Father expects more from us than that. —Brett Clemmer What purposes does church serve for you other than worshipping God? Are they more important to you than He is? Pray that God would truly be first in your life. Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 23:1-25:19, Luke 10:13-37, Psalm 75:1-10, Proverbs 12:12-14

Wednesday—April 4 • “I Will Never Disown You” But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the others said the same. Mark 14:31

Betrayal is a tough pill to swallow. Relationships often never recover when a friend or spouse is found to have violated trust. Peter and the other disciples swore their fealty to Jesus at the Last Supper. They would defend him to the death. We often focus on Peter denying his relationship with Jesus three times. But his betrayal wasn’t the first that evening. All the disciples abandoned Jesus when he was arrested. Peter at least grabbed a sword and tried to protect Jesus, then followed right up into the courtyard outside of Jesus’ “trial” at Caiaphas’ house.

All too often, I betray Jesus too. I deny His impact on my life when I downplay my faith to avoid a tough discussion, or laugh along at someone mocking Christians, or participate in conversations or behavior that does not honor Him. I have great intentions, but I am as guilty as Peter. —Brett Clemmer Do you ever “deny” Jesus? Would your family, your co-workers or your Facebook friends say, “He is a Christian, for sure!” Ask God to give you strength to be a faithful follower and friend of Jesus. Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 26:1-27:26, Luke 10:38-11:13, Psalm 76:1-12, Proverbs 12:15-17

Thursday—April 5 • The Debt Is Paid When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. john 19:30

In The Reason for God, Tim Keller shares an incredible insight about forgiveness. In order for me to forgive someone, I have to suffer the consequences of their action, instead of them suffering it for themselves. For instance, if I “forgive” a debt, I am agreeing that I will

be without the money I am owed, instead of the debtor being without that money. I think that’s what makes forgiveness so hard. When we agree to forgive someone, it’s not that we’re saying, “Let’s just forget this and it will go away.” The consequences

still exist. I am choosing self-sacrifice over justice. That’s exactly the choice that Jesus made on our behalf. When Jesus said, “It is finished,” He used the greek word, tetalestai. That word was used when a merchant and customer finished a transaction. It means, “The debt is paid.” With Jesus’ dying breath, He paid your and my debt to a holy and just God, and He suffered their consequences on our behalf. Thank you Jesus for your love and sacrifice! —Brett Clemmer Take some time today to pray and thank Jesus for His willingness to pay the penalty for your sin. Who in your life needs to be offered forgiveness? Pray for them and ask God for the strength to forgive them. Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 28:1-68, Luke 11:14-36, Psalm 77:1-20, Proverbs 12:18

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—April 6, 7, 8 The Happiest Day in History “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.” Mark 16:6

There are several times in my life when I can remember being surprised by God’s providence. Standing in our first home, I got the call that I had gotten a job I really wanted and that would provide better financial stability for my bride and I. A year or so later, my wife mysteriously refused to get on any of the exciting rides on a theme park visit. She finally confided that she might be pregnant. After a late night visit to a convenience store, we nervously watched the color change on the pregnancy test kit. We danced around the bathroom with excitement. Can you imagine how Jesus’ followers must have felt when they realized Jesus was alive? Mary Magdalene got so excited that Jesus finally told her to let Him go. Peter and John sprinted to the tomb to check it out for themselves. Of course, not everyone reacted that way. The disciples, at first, locked themselves in a room racked with fear and doubt. When Jesus did show up, Thomas wasn’t there and said he’d believe when he saw it for himself. Jesus loved him enough to come back and visit him personally. And of course the religious leaders hoped it wasn’t true, even threatening Peter and John to stop spreading false rumors, or else. We shouldn’t get too upset with people

who have trouble accepting the fact of Jesus’ death and resurrection. There were many people who witnessed it personally and still had a hard time believing it. Jesus has grace for them. And His strategy was simple—eyewitness testimony. Jesus told the disciples—and us—to be His witnesses. Jesus even gave us a strategy in Acts 1:8. We start with those immediately around us, then to our neighborhoods, and then to the world. On the weekend when we celebrate Jesus’ resurrection from the dead—His victory over sin and death on our behalf—it’s good to reflect on Christ’s impact on our lives. How do you know that He’s alive, that He loves you, that He’s changed your life? We need to be able to articulate that. And then we need to go and tell people about Him. Can I get a witness? —Brett Clemmer How do you know that Jesus is alive? Think of some times when you have seen God’s hand in your life. Who needs to hear about this? Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 29:1-32:52, Luke 11:37-12:59, Psalm 78:1-64, Proverbs 12:19-24

For Your Small Group ❏ For April 1-8: Ask some of the men to share their story of coming to faith in Christ. • Have you had the opportunity to share your story with others? Talk with some other men about what that was like . • Do you find this easy or diﬃcult to do? Why is that? • What is a tough question people have asked you about Christianity? How would you answer that?

Monday—April 9 • Relationships Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22:37-39 nLT

If I were to summarize the message of the Bible in one word, it would be “relationships.” The God-ordained vertical and horizontal relationships are summarized in the two greatest commandments as noted in Matthew 22:37-39. I began a personal relationship with Jesus Christ at age 9 when I prayed a simple prayer of salvation. At age 17, I made a deeper commitment, pledging to be obedient to Him beyond just giving Him a few hours each week at church. Over 30 years later, my relationship with Christ continues to grow and deepen. By far, God is the most important relationship in my life. My relationships with other people are also very important. For me, those relationships begin at home as I actively invest

with my wife and my four children. How tragic it would be to build a ministry but be ﬂoundering at home. In addition, I am connected relationally to men who hold me accountable. For over 20 years, we have been meeting together. This group provides a safe place for me to share personally and to be sharpened (Proverbs 27:17). My church also plays an important role in my pursuit to connect relationally. —Rod Handley Describe your relationship with God, your family and with other people. How vital are relationships to you? Where are you currently succeeding or failing in your current relationships? Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 33:1-29, Luke 13:1-21, Psalm 78:65-72, Proverbs 12:25

Tuesday—April 10 • Integrity The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them. Proverbs 20:7 nLT

This verse reminds me that INTEGRITY is the priceless inheritance of a lingering legacy. Literally, integrity means you have a complete soul. It’s not synonymous with ethical behavior, though ethics will often follow, but it is more related to the concept of “being” rather than “doing.” You don’t attain true integrity through a series of behaviors (doing) but by being internally transformed through a personal relationship with Jesus (being). When a man is truly living out integrity, he acts the same in public and in private. Scripture promises a strong legacy can be forged when integrity is pursued. As part of my legacy, I have been journaling several years for my children in a book entitled, “A Father’s Legacy”. The book has prompting questions about my childhood, teen years and how I met my

wife. It invites me to share my spiritual journey, why my faith is so important to me and what I believe is important. My goal is to one day present this book to my four children. It will be a tangible reminder for them of who I was and what I tried to do for them and others while here on earth. —Rod Handley Discuss the relationship between legacy and integrity. What kind of legacy are you establishing right now? If you have a family, are you pouring truth based on God’s Word into their life? Daily Reading: Deuteronomy 34:1-Joshua 2:24, Luke 13:22-14:6, Psalm 79:1-13, Proverbs 12:26

Wednesday—April 11 • Christ-like Sacriﬁ ce Remember your leaders who have spoken the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Hebrews 13:7

A great dad and husband should count the cost of his position; for the price of leadership is sacrifice. It requires laying down your life for the family you’re leading. The sacrifice comes in terms of time, convenience and personal desires. All must be set aside in order to serve them. One of the most practical and challenging verses in all of Scripture is found in Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing from selfi shness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than yourselves” (NASB). Think of the ramifications if this verse was practiced every day in your home! Jesus knew that love and leadership would lead to sacrifice. His love led Him to die in our place. That’s REAL sacrifice! Christ-like leadership means considering

Thursday—April 12

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the needs of your spouse and children before your own, seeking their good, and encouraging their spiritual growth and intimacy with God. If you’re a husband and dad, is your life one that your spouse, children or grandchildren would choose to imitate? Are you willing to lay down your life for them? This is the price of leadership. Today, choose to be a great example to your family. —Rod Handley How should the sacrifice Jesus made influence you today? How does Jesus’ sacrifice compare to the sacrifices you make? How can you become a Christ-like leader in your home? Discuss with some other men. Daily Reading: Joshua 3:1-4:24, Luke 14:7-35, Psalm 80:1-19, Proverbs 12:27-28

Vision for Your Family

Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; But happy is he who keeps the law. Proverbs 29:18 nkjv I have heard that 90 percent of all millionaires have a personal mission or vision statement, yet fewer than three percent of all other individuals have one. A vision statement helps people discover what drives them, where their passions lie, and what brings energy and focus. This practice can impact you and your family as well. The most effective statements are one sentence long and can be understood by a 12-year-old. After this statement is prepared, you can develop a series of goals to establish a thorough game plan. This will help give your family direction, purpose and focus. Author and Pastor Andy Stanley reminds us, “If God has birthed a vision in your heart, the day will come when you will be called upon to make a sacriﬁce to achieve

it. And you will have to make the sacriﬁce with no guarantee of success.” I challenge you to take the risks and make the sacriﬁces needed in order to move toward the vision God has put in your heart. The process of writing a vision statement, establishing goals and then living it out can be one of the most valuable exercises you will ever go through. —Rod Handley Do you have a vision statement for you and your family? If so, review your statement and talk about what it means to you. If not, work together on establishing one and then identify specific goals which will help you achieve the vision statement. Daily Reading: Joshua 5:1-7:15, Luke 15:1-32, Psalm 81:1-16, Proverbs 13:1

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—April 13, 14, 15 • Words of Life The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21

Several years ago, I read a very compelling book entitled, How Full Is Your Bucket by Tom Rath. The book contains no Scripture references, but it speaks right to this verse in Proverbs 18:21. The words we choose, especially to our wife and kids, can either give them life or it can kill and destroy them. My daughter’s 11- and 12-year-olds softball team had to be one of the worst ever. However, we agreed as coaches that our lips would only speak encouraging words for each team member. We decided not to worry about our regular season record, but focus on our ultimate goal: the year-end tournament. Week after week, the losses mounted but our words of encouragement stayed continued. With a 4-11 record, we decided to hold our year-end party prior to the tournament, in case we ended up losing quickly. At the party, each girl was publicly afﬁrmed in front of her teammates, family and friends for the contributions she had made during the season. On the way home from the party, my daughter Brooke asked me a very interesting

question. She said, “Dad, who do you think we’ll play in the championship game?” I almost burst out in laughter but maintained my poise and replied, “Well, I think we will play the team who finished with a 23-1 record.” Brooke agreed. Well to make a long story short, my daughter’s improbable prediction became a reality as our team marched undefeated through the year end tournament—all the way to the championship. We absolutely shocked our opponents and the entire league. We were beaten in the final game, finishing second place, but I was so proud of our team, our coaches and our parents. Each person had made a commitment to speak words of life, and the results were amazing. —Rod Handley How can speaking words of life radically change your parenting, marriage and family? What are several ways to incorporate Proverbs 18:21 into your life on a daily basis? Daily Reading: Joshua 7:1612:24, Luke 16:1-17:37, Psalm 82:1-84:12, Proverbs 13:2-6

For Your Small Group ❏ For April 9–15: From Rod Handley’s devotional on the top of page 18, what is the one word that summarizes the messages of the Bible? • How are you demonstrating that your relationships with your wife, children and family are spiritually significant? • Could you pinpoint the two most significant relationships in your life? (Ex . Father, coach, grandfather, teachers, etc .) • What did those relationships teach you about your relationship with God?

Monday—April 16 • A Lifestyle of Honesty

Jesus said to them, “. . . Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:42-44 Several years ago, I returned from a trip and found my neighbor had hired a contractor to build a sea wall. Using procedures from Hong Kong, the contractor was reclaiming about 12 feet of the lake. You’d walk along my shoreline, and all of the sudden the neighbor’s property jutted out and then returned to the natural shoreline on the other side of the property. I thought it was odd, so I asked a workman if the foreman had obtained a permit. “Oh, yes sir,” he said. I assumed he was telling me the truth, but a couple of days later I saw a big red “Stop Work” order on the front door. People lie for many reasons. Sometimes

it’s for self-protection, or protection of someone else who might be hurt by the truth. Sometimes it’s for greed or pride or ego, because telling the truth would mean admitting our errors. In our culture, you almost expect people to lie to you. Scripture notes that Satan is the father of lies. God calls Christians to live a lifestyle of honesty and truth. MIMBS 2 Describe a time when you were hurt by someone else’s lie. Describe a time when someone else was hurt when you lied. Daily Reading: Joshua 13:1-14:15, Luke 18:117, Psalm 85:1-13, Proverbs 13:7-8

Tuesday—April 17 • We Lie to Manipulate

Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet. Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? . . . You have not lied just to human beings but to God.” When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what had happened. Acts 5:1-5 A man preaching about lying used the above example, saying, “If God still judged people the way He judged Ananias and Sapphira, by killing them for lying, where would I be today?” The people in the congregation snickered until he said, “I’d be right here preaching to an empty house, that’s where I’d be!” I don’t know anyone who hasn’t told a lie sometime. People have lots of reasons, but the underlying reality is that lying has one purpose—manipulation. We find ourselves in a situation where we believe the truth will not get us what we want, so we color our words to produce a desired outcome. That’s clearly the case with Ananias

and Sapphira. They sold a piece of property and pretended to donate the whole amount to the local church. In Scripture, we find situations when people lied and God did not reprimand them. But He did indeed judge Ananias and Sapphira, and they both died. The big idea of Scripture is that we should always give truth to whom it is due. And God always deserves our honesty. MIMBS 2 Do you agree with the statement that all lying happens for the purpose of manipulation? Explain your reasoning. Daily Reading: Joshua 15:1-63, Luke 18:18-43, Psalm 86:1-17, Proverbs 13:9-10

Wednesday—April 18 • Is Lying Ever Okay? Now David and his men went up and raided the Geshurites, the Girzites and the Amalekites. (From ancient times these peoples had lived in the land extending to Shur and Egypt.) Whenever David attacked an area, he did not leave a man or woman alive, but took sheep and cattle, donkeys and camels, and clothes. Then he returned to Achish. When Achish asked, “Where did you go raiding today?” David would say, “Against the Negev of Judah” or “Against the Negev of Jerahmeel” or “Against the Negev of the Kenites.” 1 Samuel 27:8-10

Today’s Scripture recalls a time when David was hiding from Saul, and he took his 600 men and their families into Philistine territory. He pretended to be friendly with a Philistine leader named Achish, who gave them a city in which to live. Then David and his men went out on raiding parties against enemies of Israel. When David reported back to Achish, to protect the lives of himself and his followers, he apparently lied about the people he had attacked. We do not have any record of God’s reprimanding David for this. Scripture includes a few other people who lied without experiencing judgment.

In Exodus, two Hebrew midwives lied to Pharaoh to protect Israelite baby boys. In the book of Joshua, Rahab lied to soldiers in Jericho to protect Israelite spies hidden on her rooftop. There are other examples as well. But the incidents are few in number compared to the long history covered in the Bible. The simple reality is that lying is not the norm for God’s people. Truth-telling is the norm. :MIMBS 2 Is truth telling the norm for your life? Explain your answer. Daily Reading: Joshua 16:1-18:28, Luke 19:127, Psalm 87:1-7, Proverbs 13:11

Thursday—April 19 • Failure Does Not Disqualify You Meanwhile, Simon Peter was still standing there warming himself. So they asked him, “You aren’t one of his disciples too, are you?” He denied it, saying, “I am not.” john 18:25

Prior to Jesus’ crucifixion, Peter denied three times that he even knew His Master. Though we can understand that Peter was under incredible pressure, we also probably can agree that this was a major failure. He chose to lie because it seemed expedient. Yet in Jesus’ eyes, Peter’s failure did not disqualify him from leadership. In fact, following Jesus’ resurrection, an angel gave a message to the ladies who visited the tomb. He said, “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here . . . But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you’” (Mark 16:6-7). The angel specifically mentioned Peter. Then Jesus met his disciples on the lake

shore in Galilee, and in that context He reinstated Peter as a disciple. He even restated His original invitation to Peter by saying, “Follow me” (see John 21:15-19). Everyone has failed somehow in the area of integrity and truth. But failure does not automatically disqualify from leadership. Jesus offers forgiveness. :MIMBS 2 How does it make you feel to know that failure does not disqualify a person from leadership? Daily Reading: Joshua 19:1-20:9, Luke 19:2848, Psalm 88:1-18, Proverbs 13:12-14

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—April 20, 21, 22 Forgiveness and Reinstatement “Two things I ask of you, Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God . . . Proverbs 30:7-9

The book of Proverbs is a record of wisdom for daily living. It includes sayings from a man named Agur, including today’s Scripture passage, in which this wise man asks God to keep falsehood and lies away from him. In short, this is a request for God’s help in living a life of integrity. None of us will be perfectly sinless, but all of us can pledge ourselves to pursue integrity. When we fail in that pursuit, the solution is to repent; acknowledge your sin and falsehood. It’s possible to be a Christian and still listen to Satan, who is the father of lies (see John 8:42-44). If that’s true in your life, even in a small way, repent and invite the Holy Spirit to take control of your life and to redirect you. Scripture clearly tells us, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and

to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14). That doesn’t mean we try in our own effort to be holy. It means we tap into God’s holiness and cooperate with His plan to make us holy from the inside out. Why not pray this prayer today? “Lord, lying is as natural to human beings as breathing. I repent of any falsehood in my life. Help me remember any areas where lying has become normative in my life, even if my intentions and purposes have been good. Help me cooperate with the Holy Spirit, so I can live a holy and truthful lifestyle. Amen.” :MIMBS 2 How are you cooperating with the Holy Spirit, so you can live a holy and truthful lifestyle? Daily Reading: 20 Joshua 21:1-24:33, Luke 20:1-21:28, Psalm 89:1-52, Proverbs 13:15-23

For Your Small Group ❏ For April 16–22: Read aloud these two definitions: Honesty – Uprightness and fairness, truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness. Lie—A false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood. • What impact does honesty have on a relationship? • What impact does lying have on a relationship? • On a scale of 1–10, how important is honesty to you?

Monday—April 23 • What Is a Christian? And do not begin to say to yourselves, “We have Abraham as our father.” For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. Luke 3:8

This is what John the Baptist said to many in the “religious crowd” of his day. And if he were alive now, he might preach the same bold message. Anyone can call himself a “Christian.” In fact, nearly 90 percent of all Americans believe they are going to heaven. But the question we need to ask, and the question to which John the Baptist was pointing, is this: what is really required to be a follower of Jesus Christ? I’m not sure John’s message would go over very well today. It would come across as too harsh, too judgmental. The truth is all of us need a stern

exhortation from time to time, because we all have sometimes honored God with our lips while our hearts remained far away from Him. But we need to ask ourselves: Are we bearing real “fruit in keeping with repentance”—real heart change? Or are we faking it? If so, the only way to please God is to realize that we have to stop merely being sorry and start being different. :MIMBS 3 In what ways are you different from the world? In what ways are you similar? Daily Reading: Judges 1:1-2:9, Luke 21:2922:13, Psalm 90:1-91:16, Proverbs 13:24-25

Tuesday—April 24 • Correction vs. Condemnation This is love for God, to obey His commands. I john 5:3

Sometimes our walk and our talk don’t add up. We profess faith in Jesus Christ, but we don’t prove it by the way we live our lives. For the unbeliever, this is normal and expected. A man might call himself a Christian simply because he goes to church. We shouldn’t be surprised when his behavior contradicts his proclamation of faith. Don’t be angry at worldly men for acting like worldly men. That would be like being angry at a dog for acting like a dog. However, we should confront our brothers. When you see a brother who is off track you should ask him to change his way. This is an unpopular approach these days, because the

world has convinced us that calling out sin is the same as being judgmental or condemning. On the contrary, Jesus Himself called out hypocrisy when He saw it taking place before His eyes. And He lovingly corrected His followers when they got off track. As Christian men, we need to be bold enough to confront one another in love, and humble enough to accept it when we ourselves are the ones being confronted. :MIMBS 3 Do you have trouble confronting other men who are stumbling? What does God’s Word say about it? Daily Reading: Judges 2:10-3:31, Luke 22:14-34, Psalm 92:193:5, Proverbs 14:1-2

Wednesday—April 25 • What Should We Do, Then? John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.” Luke 3:11

Most Christians want to do the right thing. They may sometimes fail—they might even rebel from time to time. But deep down, they have a desire to obey God. The people in John the Baptist’s day wanted to do the right thing even though they weren’t doing it at the moment. So they asked him how their lifestyle could reflect their professions of faith in Christ. Today’s verse is his response. Now, the only piece of clothing most of these people had were tunics. It was kind of a fundamental item. If a person didn’t have a tunic they were basically walking around naked.

And of course, plenty of people were going hungry back then, just as they are today. So the point is this: to “prove” our Christianity, we are supposed to help those less fortunate—to help meet their needs. That is what Christianity is all about. If we’re not doing that, our faith is dead. MIMBS 3 Talk to the men in your church about how they can live the Christian life in practical ways. Make specific plans to reach out to those less fortunate. Daily Reading: Judges 4:15:31, Luke 22:35-53, Psalm 94:1-23, Proverbs 14:3-4

Thursday—April 26 • Work It Out And with many other words John exhorted the people and preached the good news to them. Luke 3:18

I once dealt with a person who was not content with his pay, and who decided to leave a job he loved for one that paid more. At the time, I wondered if it was the right decision. No one can tell you what God’s will is for your life, and I certainly didn’t try to tell this person what to do. But I couldn’t help but wonder if it was worth it. By giving up what he loved to do simply to make more money, I wondered if he would be as happy in the end as he would have been if he had been content with the salary he was already making. In Luke chapter three, these are the questions John is asking. And these are

questions that Jesus asks each of us today. You be the judge. But I think the message in Luke chapter three is this: don’t just be sorry—be different. If you confess Jesus as your Savior, prove it by the way you live your life. The gift is free, but there is some assembly required. MIMBS 3 Have you ever made a decision for the wrong reason? Are you facing a decision now that the world would suggest one choice, while the gospel points you to another? Daily Reading: Judges 6:1-40, Luke 22:5423:12, Psalm 95:1-96:13, Proverbs 14:5-6

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—April 27, 28, 29 Some Assembly Required Faith without works is dead. james 2:17

The best part about having teenagers is that you don’t have to assemble Christmas gifts anymore. When kids get to be that age they start asking for Christmas gifts that don’t require assembly. In the meantime, we parents have no small amount of frustration in the wee hours of the morning. Now, before I tell you this story, let me say that I am not very mechanical. I have trouble getting the lid off the peanut butter jar, much less putting together a bike. But I remember one Christmas in particular. My son, John, wanted a big wheel. So we went to the store and bought one, and sure enough, there is some assembly required. So I got it all put together and then I put the axle through the little hole and tapped on one of the wheels. Then I went over to the other side to tap on the other wheel. But the axle was not long enough! I remember thinking to myself: “What is the problem here? This thing only has about 5 moving parts. Is it that hard to make the axle long enough to actually tap these wheels on?”

I was infuriated, so I told my wife to take the big wheel back. An hour later she was home—with the big wheel still in her possession. “Take a look at this wheel,” she said. “Do you see how on one side it is more concave than it is on the other side?” As it turns out, the clerk—who earned minimum wage—figured out the problem in record time. He told my wife that all I needed to do was turn the wheel around and the axle would fit. It was that simple. Salvation is a gift, but sanctification requires some assembly. You have to put it together. Sometimes it’s more complicated than you first thought and sometimes you need help. But like the big wheel, the gift of Christianity comes with some assembly required. :MIMBS 3 Is building your faith easier or harder than you expected? Are there some little changes you can make to make your faith work better? Daily Reading: Judges 7:1-10:18, Luke 23:1324:13, Psalm 97:1-100:5, Proverbs 14:7-12

For Your Small Group ❏ For April 23–29: After reading this week’s devotions, what words would you use to describe a “Christian”? • What words would people in the world use to describe Christianity? • Are your descriptions and the world’s descriptions different? In what ways? • What person demonstrated or demonstrates true Christianity to you? Explain .

Monday—April 30 • Full Commitment Whoever pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor. Proverbs 21:21

While leading the Israelites to the Promised Land, Moses had a young protégé named Joshua who faithfully followed Moses’ leadership. Joshua was one of two spies who gave a positive report to Moses after spying out the land promised to God’s people. While the other ten were fearful, Joshua exhibited great courage in the midst of opposition. Later, when it came time for Moses to die, he passed his leadership responsibilities to Joshua. Joshua successfully led the people into the land. I believe Joshua was selected because he honored both God and Moses. At the end of Joshua’s reign, he draws a line in the sand by making a bold and brash statement about honoring the Lord when

he says, “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15b). Why did Moses and Joshua honor God and one another? To me, it is a sign of their sold-out commitment. Many of us may say that we are committed to serving God, but the level of that commitment is often revealed by what we are willing to walk away from for Him. —Rod Handley What are some decisions where you have chosen to walk away from your career for “honor” reasons to show your commitment to God? Was it worth it? Why or why not? Daily Reading: 30 Judges 11:1-12:15, John 1:128, Psalm 101:1-8, Proverbs 14:13-14

Tuesday—May 1 • Staying Alert Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Lions hunt in groups called prides. While part of the hunting party hides in the grass, blocking the escape route of their intended victim, other lions frighten the prey, driving it into the path of the concealed hunters. Lions usually target victims that are isolated, weak, sick or malnourished. So it is with Christians. Isolation leaves us particularly vulnerable. However, connection with a band of brothers enhances our perception of threats and dangers. Character growth requires honest evaluation of personal strengths and weaknesses and the discipline to consistently respond to situations with godly attitudes and actions. Here are three tips to aid us in staying alert: (1) We need to keep our eyes and ears open to situations and warning signs happening

around us that could ultimately cause our downfall. (2) We need to choose to be the right person and do the right thing before temptations have a chance to take root in our life. (3) We need to tell others of potential danger areas, including staying away from unsafe places. The best way to develop your character is to run your race with a team of people supporting you. —Rod Handley Who is your adversary or enemy? How could a commitment to “alertness” help you defeat your enemy in the future? How could a band of brothers help you be more alert? Daily Reading: Judges 13:1-14:20, John 1:2951, Psalm 102:1-28, Proverbs 14:15-16

Wednesday—May 2 • Are You Teachable? And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. 2 Timothy 2:2

One of the keys to the Apostle Paul’s success was that he remained teachable and trainable throughout life. John Gardner once pointed out that by the time people are in their mid-thirties, most have stopped acquiring new skills and new attitudes. Instead of following this pattern, let’s make a point to learn something new every day! Here are three activities to help you grow in your teachability: (1) Be a reader: Books contain numerous ideas and insights. Stay up with current events, as well as understanding history, the classics and poetry. Of course, the number one book to read each day is the Word of God. (2) Be a conversationalist: Talking with a wide variety of

people challenges us. Don’t settle for discussing mere surface issues; dive into ideas, controversial subjects and things that really matter. (3) Be a writer: Maintain a daily journal recording what you are thinking, not just what you are doing. A journal helps articulate who you are and how God is actively working in your life. —Rod Handley Would you describe yourself a teachable person? What is something you are currently learning? How would you rate yourself pertaining to learning in the disciplines of reading, talking and writing? Daily Reading: Judges 15:1-16:3, John 2:1-25, Psalm 103:1-22, Proverbs 14:17-19

Thursday—May 3 • The Narrow Path? But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. Matthew 7:14

Jesus knew the narrow path leads to life while the broad road leads to death. Jesus was confident of the call on His life which resulted in His joy. He says, “Come unto me, follow me, and abide in me.” He emptied himself of His glory and walked the narrow path so we might have life to the fullest. Consider the road you are traveling. Is it the narrow path or the broad road? Narrowness is often thought of negatively because many view it as being one-sided rather than open-minded. Instead, Jesus is referring to the boundaries established for living. Charles Jefferson said, “No man can do everything, no man should attempt everything.” Jesus Christ demonstrated this by sticking to God’s mission

and not wasting a single minute. When He spoke, He often said, “I must, I must, I must.” There were broad roads on His right and left, and along these roads thousands of His countrymen were traveling, but He couldn’t go with them. Are you following Jesus Christ down the narrow path? He is there to help you establish these key boundaries. —Rod Handley Do you need to simplify your life? What are the benefits of establishing boundaries? How could you benefit by narrowing your focus? What action steps could you take today to reach this goal? Daily Reading: Judges 17:1-18:31, John 3:1-21, Psalm 104:1-24, Proverbs 14:20-21

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Friday, Saturday, Sunday—May 4, 5, 6 • The Power of Secrets But as for me, I shall walk in my integrity; Redeem me, and be gracious to me. Psalm 26:11 nASB

Secrets have power. In my early years as a Christian, I had a secret. My secret was an addiction to pornography, beginning as an early teen. I was able to hide my secret very well. No one, including my parents or other Christian friends, had a clue. In the late 1980’s, I was the co-chaplain for the Seattle Supersonics basketball team before moving to Kansas City in 1989. As my responsibilities grew, my secret drove me to a place where I would silently utter, “God, will today be the day people find out who I really am?” I prayed for authenticity but I felt like I was incapable of transparency and honesty. My breakthrough happened when I got caught looking at pornography while in the Dallas airport. A dear friend from Seattle just happened to be in the same gift shop as me as I was grabbing a Playboy magazine off the rack. He tapped me on the shoulder and asked, “Rod, what are you doing here?” As I scrambled for an answer, I never forgot the look of disappointment in his eyes.

Just about a month prior to this Dallas incident, I had entered into an accountable relationship with two other men. When I got home, I met with these and told them, “I have been a phony, a fraud and a hypocrite. I have a secret and my problem is pornography.” For the first time, I became real with someone about my struggle. It was an admission to God, others, and self that I needed help to find victory. This disclosure began the process of healing and restoration for me. Do you have secrets in your life? I can tell you firsthand that authenticity will bring freedom and a clear conscience. Be real!! It will make you into a “Man of God.” —Rod Handley Can you identify with me? What went through your mind when you read this story? Identify a personal “secret” struggle. Are you willing to share this with the group? Why or why not? Daily Reading: Judges 19:1Ruth1:22, John 3:22-4:54, Psalm 104:25-105:36, Proverbs 14:22-27

For Your Small Group ❏ For April 30–May 6: On a whiteboard, list a few historical figures who displayed the characteristics of honor and/or integrity. • What did these people do to show they had those characteristics? • What kinds of actions indicate that people are not honorable? • By watching your life, how would people know that you are an honorable man?

Monday—May 7 • Real Commitment “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:6

We live in a culture that has a difficult time with commitment. Whether dealing with business contracts, casual relationships, even service providers, we tend to wonder: Is there something better out there? Am I getting the best deal? The order God is calling us to in our marriages is a tall one: a union that cannot and should not be broken; the understanding that we have truly become one flesh in the eyes of God. Some men have difficult marriages. In these circumstances, commitment becomes a matter of obedience to the Lord—a daily decision to honor Him and your spouse. If you are married, God has called you to this kind of obedience; and if you believe

the Bible is true, then the only viable choice is to work to make your marriage as good as it can be. Realize that you may as well start today, since there is no use in withdrawing or giving up. It is important that you recover—or even recreate—your vision for what your relationship with your wife can look like, and move toward that vision purposefully. :MIMBS 4 On a scale of 1-10, what is your commitment to your wife? How would she rate your commitment? How can you increase both numbers? Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 1:1-2:21, John 5:1-23, Psalm 105:37-45, Proverbs 14:28-29

Tuesday—May 8 • First Love Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Revelation 2:4

Loving your wife as God intends is only possible when He is your number one priority. At times, you may find it difficult to keep Him your first priority—to keep Christ your first love. The place to start today is to ask yourself, am I experiencing the love of Jesus Christ? Do you really understand the whole story of creation—the wonder and awesome scientific wonder of it? Of the majestic things that God has done, of the story of love and redemption? It is impossible to love your wife well— to love sacrificially and selflessly—without an understanding of how Christ has first loved us. John writes in 1 John 4:9-10: “This is how

God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” Jesus Christ rescues us as men. Out of this rescue we have experienced, He wants us to demonstrate that kind of selfless, sacrificial love for our wives. :MIMBS 4 Do you believe you are daily experiencing— abiding in—the love of Jesus Christ? Why or why not? Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 2:22-4:22, John 5:2447, Psalm 106:1-12, Proverbs 14:30-31

Wednesday—May 9 •

Love Like Christ

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25 Life is fast-paced; all of us are dealing with so many competing priorities and pressures in our lives. Imagine you are car shopping and you have the choice between two vehicles: a 1977 Malibu and a 2007 Mercedes. You might think that the Malibu is a better choice, but that would be crazy! You would not be valuing what is before you correctly. In the same way, when our priorities are out of order, we don’t view the world correctly. We forget what is truly important. We need to remember what God has called us to do in our marriages and families. Where would your wife place herself on your list of priorities? Would she rank

herself above or below your work? Favorite sports? Hobbies? Many things competing for our time are good things. However, good things can often keep us from the great things. Your wife is a gift to be cherished and your union requires time to be great. Are you loving God most and your wife more than anyone or anything else? :MIMBS 4 : Are you allowing good things to distract you from the greater calling of your marriage? Make an ordered list of what your priorities are now and what they should be. Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 5:1-7:17, John 6:1-21, Psalm 106:13-31, Proverbs 14:32-33

Thursday—May 10 •

It’s About Her

And to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Ephesians 5:27 What is the story of creation and redemption all about? The Word says that Jesus loved and gave Himself up for the church in order to present us to God holy and blameless. He asks us, as husbands, to love our wives in this same way. We are called to help our wives become everything that God wants them to become. We are to help them reflect God’s glory. That is the primary purpose in marriage. It is deeper than convenience, support, or enjoyment. If we forget this, we will miss the mark when living out our marriage. How many of us are still stuck in the same

ruts and issues in our marriages that we were dealing with a long time ago? Are you helping your wife become more like Christ? Are you allowing her to help you get better? The primary purpose of marriage is to present your wife holy and blameless to God, to help her become everything God wants her to be. It’s about her, not you. :MIMBS 4 How have you viewed your marriage’s purpose? Has your focus been primarily on you, or your wife? Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 8:1-9:27, John 6:2242, Psalm 106:32-48, Proverbs 14:34-35

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—May 11, 12, 13 •

Bring God Glory

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Ephessians 5:31-32 nLT The Bible frequently compares a human marriage to the love that God has for His people. Marriage is a reflection of the commitment and redemptive love of Christ for His church, and in it we are given the opportunity to glorify God. The covenant of marriage is deeper than any legal contract or verbal vows. God, in the image of His own covenant with His people, joins us in a more sacred and binding way than we can imagine: we become one flesh. As a reflection of Christ’s union with us, we are to offer sacrificial and redemptive love to our wives—to exhibit extravagant grace. In the Book of Malachi, we are told that the Lord hates divorce. Some of you have experienced separation or divorce, and most have people close to them who have experienced it. The pain and destruction that accompany divorce makes it easy to see why God says He hates it. However, the spiritual ramifications of divorce go deeper than that. Not only does

divorce bring pain to spouses and children, it is a break of the covenant that is designed to be a representation of Christ’s union with the church—the ultimate bridegroom and His bride. It is as if, when we state or believe that our marriages can’t work, we are stating that Christ’s union with us can’t work—that His grace and mercy is not sufficient. Because we know this to be a lie, we must also believe that our marriages can succeed. Make the decision to worship God through your marriage—to reaffirm your faith and love for your bridegroom Jesus Christ. In view of His mercy and commitment to you, demonstrate the same mercy and commitment to your wife. :MIMBS 4 Are there ways in which you do not accurately represent the Gospel in your role as bridegroom? List practical ways that you can glorify God through your marriage. Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 10:1-14:52, John 6:437:53, Psalm 107:1-109:31, Proverbs 15:1-7

For Your Small Group ❏ For May 7–13: From page 35, ask someone to read aloud the devotional, “It’s About Her”. • What insights about marriage and your relationship to your wife did you gain from this devotional? • Are you helping your wife become more like Christ? • What does that process look like to you? What’s the hardest part? The easiest?

Monday—May 14 • Hundreds of Friends?

When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. Job 2:11-13 When I was in my mid-twenties, I boasted to a man that I had hundreds of friends. He simply said, “No you don’t.” At first I was offended, and then I realized he was right— I had hundreds of acquaintances, but not hundreds of friends. Job had three friends, and usually when we think about them, we dwell on their lack of understanding God’s involvement in Job’s life, and their terrible advice to him. But I suggest that very few of us actually can name three men who would do what Job’s friends did for him. They sympathized and attempted to comfort. They tried to intervene in Job’s loss of his business, family and

health. Certainly, they got off track later in the story, but their errors don’t diminish their efforts in doing everything they could to support Job in a time of adversity. It might not be too hard to recruit six pall bearers for your funeral. But how many friends would you feel comfortable calling at 2 a.m., because you needed support in a family emergency? MIMBS 5 Define the difference between an acquaintance and a friend. Share your thought with the group. Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 15:1-16:23, John 8:120, Psalm 110:1-7, Proverbs 15:8-10

Tuesday—May 15 • A True Friend

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 In 1986, when my business life imploded, I went to see a friend. It was the same friend I mentioned in the previous devotional, who basically had told me I was kidding myself if I really thought I had hundreds of true friends. I began to lay out to him the excruciatingly difficult situation in which I had placed myself. He listened and I talked. He’s a businessman, and he clearly understood my predicament. When I finally finished unloading, he said, “I really don’t have any answers, but I have enough money for the both of us. If the worst happens, everything I have is yours.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I could never

accept such a gift, but his offer was overwhelming, because I knew he really meant it. His gracious support in a terribly difficult situation let me know I was not alone. It reflected the truth of today’s Scripture, that two really are better than one. His offer reminded me of God’s goodness, and suddenly I knew the situation eventually would be okay. MIMBS 5 Describe a situation from your own life in which a friend enriched your life and demonstrated God’s goodness. Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 17:1-18:4, John 8:2130, Psalm 111:1-10, Proverbs 15:11

Wednesday—May 16 • Picture of Friendship “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” john 13:34-35

Jesus spoke the words in today’s Scripture as He prepared His disciples—His followers and closest friends—for His crucifixion. This statement is foundational to Jesus’ ministry. It was among the last things He said to His friends in the final hours before He died. Notice, He said three times that we should love each other. In Biblical language, repeating something demonstrates that it is really important. Repeating something three times only occurs a handful of times in the Bible, so that implies that Jesus really intended for His disciples to understand the crucial nature of His statement. Jesus’ command was clear. He didn’t say

we should work hard on business deals together. He didn’t even say we should serve each other, though that is important. But love is the hard part. Love must be the commitment that gives birth to all aspects of godly friendship. The wise writer of Proverbs put it this way: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). :MIMBS 5 Why is love the starting place for true fellowship and friendship? How well are you demonstrating true love? Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 18:5-19:24, John 8:31-59, Psalm 112:1-10, Proverbs 15:12-14

Thursday—May 17 • Friendships Can Be Difficult

Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town. 1 Samuel 20:42 A few years ago, at an event in Atlanta, GA, I inadvertently ran into a couple who had been good friends to Patsy and me in the 1970s. The wife smiled as she asked, “Do you remember when you said, ‘Why don’t we all grow old together?’” Jonathan and David enjoyed a friendship that survived great difficulty, yet circumstances eventually required them to part. Despite our best intentions, friendships are difficult to develop and maintain. Jobs change, children grow, and the natural course of life alters the circumstances that initiated the relationships in the first place. True friendship also carries the costly price of vulnerability. Who hasn’t experienced some level of betrayal? For some of

us, that limits our desire to trust again. Many of us also struggle with a fear of rejection. We think, “If they really knew what I was like, they wouldn’t want to be around me.” We think we can eliminate the danger by refusing to be vulnerable, but we also eliminate any possibility of connecting deeply with another person, and we kill the possibility of true friendship. :MIMBS 5 This devotional lists some reasons why friendships are difficult to develop and maintain. Can you list other hindrances? How can they be overcome? Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 20:1-21:15, John 9:141, Psalm 113:1-114:8, Proverbs 15:15-17

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—May 18, 19, 20 Building Lifelong Relationships My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. john 15:12-15

I believe any man can have five to ten close friendships. Based on today’s scripture, your closest friend should be Jesus. He really cares about you, and He’s not limited in time He can spend with you, or attention He can give you. He’s promised to never leave you or forsake you (see Hebrews 13:5). You can tell Him anything, and He will never reject you. If you’re married, next on your list should be your spouse. I suggest you work toward making your wife your very best earthly friend. You can talk with her about things you cannot mention to any other person. Invest in that relationship by being transparent and vulnerable. Third, I suggest you make every effort to give and receive friendship with your adult children, especially your sons. If possible, build a close relationship with at least one other male family member, like a brother or uncle.

Once you get beyond your family, I believe you should restrict yourself to male friendships, because it’s dangerous to enter into vulnerable relationships with any woman other than your wife. I’ve followed this plan, and God has allowed me to have a handful of really great relationships that have lasted many years. The price has been personal vulnerability. The benefit has been having people who share my burdens, pray with me, give wise advice, offer accountability and encouragement and even a kick in the pants when it’s necessary. Friendships can last a lifetime, if we’re willing to trust and be trustworthy. :MIMBS 5 Take some time to honestly appraise your friendships. Is Jesus your best friend? Who else is on the list, and in what order? Share your thoughts with your group. Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 22:1-28:25, John 10:1-11:54, Psalm 115:1-117:2, Proverbs 15:18-23

For Your Small Group ❏ For May 14–20: Reﬂect for a moment on the friendships you had as a child, as a teen, as a young adult, and the friendships you have now. • Can you choose one word to describe each of those friendships? Allow a few minutes to share those words . • Are there common threads in all those friendships? What are they? • How are they different? What do you appreciate most in a friend now?

Monday—May 21 • When the Time Is Right All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:5-7

Teresa of Avila, a sixteenth century nun in Spain, sometimes bore the accusation that her works were of the devil. She complained to God, and He replied, “That is how I treat my friends.” Teresa responded, “No wonder you have so few friends!” God definitely takes His friends through a tough training regimen, and one of His prescribed exercises is waiting. If you’re like me, that can be excruciating. When I came to faith, I was bursting with excitement. I wanted to ensure that I would “make a difference.” I would tell God I wanted to make an impact, that I was ready to serve Him, and all I heard in return was deafening silence. You may have experienced this in your

life. It might have been when you pursued a ministry, or perhaps with your work. You may be asking God, “When will it be my turn?” Today’s scripture reminds us that, if we humble ourselves and accept God’s plan, He will bring about His purpose, when the time is right. :MIMBS 6 Today’s scripture cites wisdom found in many areas of Scripture, noting that “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Why do you think God chooses to honor people who are humble? Daily Reading: 1 Samuel 29:131:13, John 11:55-12:19, Psalm 118:118, Proverbs 15:24-26

Tuesday—May 22 • Seeking a Bigger Stage After this, Jesus went around in Galilee. He did not want to go about in Judea because the Jewish leaders there were looking for a way to kill him. But when the Jewish Festival of Tabernacles was near, Jesus’ brothers said to him, “Leave Galilee and go to Judea, so that your disciples there may see the works you do. No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret. Since you are doing these things, show yourself to the world.” john 7:1-4

This passage basically ushers in the last six months of Jesus’ life. It records that Jesus’ brothers tried to push Him toward seeking a bigger stage. Interestingly enough, they didn’t do this because they believed in Him, but because they didn’t (see John 7:5). Is it always wrong to seek a bigger stage? I would say it depends on your motives. When I entered the army, I became a clerk. I wanted to have the achievement of rising to a certain level in the minimum time required, which would have been about 18 months. So in the weeks leading up to that 18-month time, I began pestering the master sergeant about promotion. The big

day came and went, and I became very upset that I wasn’t promoted. I went to see him and he said, “If you had stopped pestering me, I would have done it.” My interest was purely selfish. I wanted a bigger stage, but not for the right reason. I wanted it because of ambition rather than because of God’s calling. :MIMBS 6 Can you think of a time when you sought a bigger stage? Did you want it because of ambition, or because you knew it is God’s calling? Explain your answer. Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 1:1-2:11, John 12:2050, Psalm 118:19-29, Proverbs 15:27-28

Wednesday—May 23 • My Time Has Not Come

Therefore Jesus told them, “My time is not yet here; for you any time will do. The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that its works are evil. You go to the festival. I am not going up to this festival, because my time has not yet fully come.” After he had said this, he stayed in Galilee. john 7:6-9 Today’s scripture immediately follows the verses we highlighted yesterday, wherein Jesus’ brothers challenged Him to pursue a bigger stage for His ministry. Today’s passage underscores Jesus’ understanding that God’s will carries a sense of timing. Further in John 7, we find that Jesus did indeed go to Jerusalem, but He went in the right time and with the right attitude. Many of us with giant dreams need to come to grips with this big idea: timing and attitude are crucial. People may say you deserve a bigger stage. Usually those people don’t know what God is really doing in your life. We all want God to be interested in the success of our circumstances, and truly He

does pay attention to those external issues. But He is much more interested in internal character. God will never give you circumstances that endanger your character. Scripture tells us, “Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful” (1 Corinthians 4:2). God does not call us to produce a specific outcome. He calls us to be faithful. :MIMBS 6 When God requires you to wait for the fulfillment of a desire, how do you respond? What does your response reveal about who really controls your life? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 2:12-3:39, John 13:130, Psalm 119:1-16, Proverbs 15:29-30

Thursday—May 24 • “No” or “Not Yet” My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. Proverbs 3:11-12

Jesus submitted to God’s will and timing. To imitate His example, we must surrender our dreams and ambitions to His Lordship. We must be willing to receive His “no” or “not yet,” knowing that God works through circumstances to accomplish at least three goals:

absorb in any other way.

Equipping. We can mistake equipping for abandonment, believing that God has forsaken us. In reality, God works silently in our dark times to teach necessary skills for pursuing His calling. We learn lessons through His silence that we simply cannot

How do you respond to God when you pray for something and He says “no” or “not yet”? Share your thoughts with the group.

Discipline. He trains us to imitate Him. Sometimes He withholds things we think we can’t live without. Other times He overloads us with what we think we want, till we gag and choke. His goal is always the same. He’s forging men of character.

Protection. When our desire does not coincide with His calling, He says “no,” because He wants to deliver us from the consequences of improper motives. When we hear God’s “no” or “not yet,” we can rest in His love, knowing that He disciplines as a Father who delights in His son. :MIMBS 6

Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 4:1-6:23, John 13:3114:14, Psalm 119:17-32, Proverbs 15:31-32

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—May 25, 26, 27 Godliness with Contentment But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 1 Timothy 6:6-7

The final chapter of Paul’s first letter to his young friend Timothy addresses the temptation to use the Gospel for personal gain. In this particular instance, Paul warned about people who taught for the sake of becoming rich. Money can be a major temptation, but Paul’s concern really could apply to any unworthy motive that drives us to pursue ambition rather than calling. I see a three-part progression in the process that leads to spiritual maturity: Knowing—we accept Christ’s invitation to relationship, and we learn how to live in Him. Growing—we surrender to God’s plan to equip us to live for Christ. Showing—we accept a call and are sent out to live for Christ. You might have a big dream, and you might be asking God, “When will it be my turn?” God’s answer probably will

be, “When you don’t care anymore about when it will be your turn.” God grows us to a place of spiritual maturity that enables us to be content with whatever He gives us. In a classic book called The Christian’s Secret to a Happy Life, Hannah Whitehall Smith talked about being all excited to do great works for God, and then being called to return home and parent four irritable children. In order to live positively with that kind of reality, a Christian really must surrender everything to Christ and allow Him to have His way. As we trust God’s plan over our own, we’ll find that we can be content with whatever He gives us. :MIMBS 6 Describe your level of contentment with what appears to be God’s plan for you right now. What does your level of contentment reveal about your level of trust? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 7:112:31, John 14:15-16:33, Psalm 119:33-80, Proverbs 15:33-16:5

For Your Small Group ❏ For May 21– 27: From the devotional for Thursday, May 24, list the three goals that God accomplishes when He says “No” or “Not yet.” • Can you recall a time in your life when God’s answer was “No” or “Not yet”? How did you react to that answer? • When you look back at that situation, are you able to see it in a different light? If so, in what ways?

Monday—May 28 •

Wonderfully Made

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14 I read about a kind of bird called a swallow that winters in Argentina. Every summer, on a specific day, the swallows leave Argentina and fly 6,000 miles to San Juan Capistrano, California. These tiny birds fly over water to arrive on exactly the same day each year. Apparently, each little swallow breaks off a twig before it leaves. It carries that twig in its beak, and when it gets tired, the bird sets the twig down on the ocean and uses it as a little boat upon which it can rest, before it continues its journey. What incredible evidence that God is an amazing Creator. And since we are also His

creation, Scripture reminds us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139 even says that God has already ordained our days. Surely He has a plan for every aspect of our lives, including our work and labor. If God even knows the number of hairs on our heads, why would we doubt that something as important as our jobs would escape His attention? :MIMBS 7 Is it easy for you to believe that you are God’s amazing creation? Why or why not? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 13:1-39, John 17:1-26, Psalm 119:81-96, Proverbs 16:6-7

Tuesday—May 29 • Part of God’s Plan The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. Genesis 2:15

From the very beginning, God gave Adam a task. Though some of us treat our jobs as if they are part of the curse that followed Adam and Eve’s sin, the simple fact is God blessed Adam with work even before the Fall. Godly work has an eternal purpose, even if it occurs outside the realm of traditional “ministry.” Jesus noted, “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples” (John 15:8). Every Christian man I know longs to fulfill this verse. We are made with a deep intrinsic desire to know that our lives matter. I see no indication that Jesus’ words do not

apply to all of life, including our jobs. We may be unaware of the spiritual value of our work, but that doesn’t change the fact that every legitimate vocation has potential to be holy to the Lord. Men were created with a desire to work, and work becomes worship when we understand how God wants us to bear fruit within the context of our jobs. :MIMBS 7 How does God want you to bear fruit within the context of your job? How well are you able to do that? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 14:115:22, John 18:1-24, Psalm 119:97-112, Proverbs 16:8-9

Wednesday—May 30 • In a Rut Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24

My friend Rod said that, while he was visiting Alaska, he saw some dirt roads that were terribly difficult to navigate. In the winter they froze solid, but with the springtime thaw, they became soft. People drove on them, making deep furrows. At the beginning of one of those roads, Rod saw a sign that said, “Choose your rut carefully. You’re going to be in it for a very long time.” That’s a picture of how some men feel about their work. God says any job can be holy and redemptive in our world. God can use any legitimate place of business to reverse the chaos resulting from the Fall of Creation. He does that most effectively through Christians who recognize

their work can be an act of worship, if it’s done with the right goal and attitude. I see two issues that may hinder a man’s ability to worship through his work. First, a man may need to ask God to help him alter his attitude. If that doesn’t change his viewpoint, a man may need to prayerfully consider changing his vocation. MIMBS 7 What advice would you give to a Christian friend who feels he is in a rut at his job? Share your thoughts with your group. Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 15:23-16:23, John 18:25-19:22, Psalm 119:113-128, Proverbs 16:10-11

Thursday—May 31 • Tempted to Overwork Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves. Psalm 127:1-2

I’m fascinated by Formula One racing. It’s amazing that it costs as much as $300 million per year to keep one Formula One racing team on the track. These 850-horsepower motors race around the track at about 18,000 revolutions per minute (rpms). The typical race starts with 22 cars, but it’s not uncommon for up to half of those vehicles to break down in a race that lasts only about two hours. Imagine spending $300 million per year to sustain a racing team, and then discover they can’t even keep a car going for two hours. By comparison, you go to just about any car lot and purchase a $10,000 car that you can easily drive for about 100,000 miles, because it

runs at about 3,000 rpms. There’s a lesson here for guys who are tempted to run full tilt all the time. God made us in a certain way to do our work as an act of worship. If you’re running at maximum rpms all the time, you are not worshiping the Lord. Certainly you’re worshiping something, but it’s not God. MIMBS 7 How does this warning related to running at maximum rpms reflect the reality of today’s Scripture passage? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 17:1-29, John 19:2342, Psalm 119:129-152, Proverbs 16:12-13

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—June 1, 2, 3 • A New Viewpoint And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

There’s a legend handed down to us from medieval days about a superintendent of construction who saw several bricklayers working along a particular street. He stopped next to the first one and asked, “What are you doing?” The man replied, I am laying bricks.” He went a little further and asked a second man, “What are you doing?” The man replied, “I’m earning a living.” He went a little further and asked a third man, “What are you doing?” The man replied, “I’m building a cathedral.” All three men were engaged in the same work, yet they all saw it differently. I think we could agree that the third man saw his bricklaying as an act of worship.

I don’t know what kind of job you have, so let’s just say you’re a gate agent at the airport. I could ask you, “What are you doing?” You might say, “I’m helping people get on airplanes.” You might say, “I’m

earning money.” Or you might say, “I’m serving people as part of a worldwide network that transports business people from place to place and takes families to their destinations so they can reunite with people they haven’t seen, or so they can refresh themselves through recreation. I’m helping keep the wheels of commerce free so our global economy can continue to flourish.” Your viewpoint will determine if you see your work as just a job, or if you see it as part of God’s plan to restore order to a chaotic world. Pray this prayer today: “Father, I will spend much of my life working. I know I’ve been fearfully and wonderfully made by You, my gracious Creator, and that you have a purpose for my work. I want to see and do my work as an act of worship for Your glory, in Your name, to please You. Amen. :MIMBS 7 Suppose you were busily engaged in your job, and someone asked you, “What are you doing?” How would you answer? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 18:1-21:22, John 20:1-21:25, Acts 1:1-26, Psalm 119:153-121:8, Proverbs 16:14-18

For Your Small Group ❏ For May 28–June 3: Read this verse aloud to the group. “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Colossians 3:17). • Think about the attitude you have had the last few weeks when you arrived at work . Would you say it has been in line with that verse? Why or why not? • How would those words apply to a window washer, a missionary, a CEO, a teacher, a bus driver or an actor? • As you consider this verse, what adjustments could you make to your attitude or outlook on your job?

Monday—June 4 • Man’s Effort or God’s Mercy? So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. Galatians 5:16

Determination is one of my greatest strengths—and also one of my greatest weaknesses. When I set my mind to go after something, I go after it. I’m a self-reliant self-starter. So when I heard that Christ was “the way,” I began studying and imitating His life. It was hard work, but I was steadfast in my effort. If Jesus did it, I was going to do it. Meanwhile I married Patsy. I had been committed to a set of values that made me a moralist, but not a Christian. Patsy was committed and surrendered to the person of Jesus Christ. I worked hard to conceal my lack of spiritual progress, yet I knew in my heart that she was taking great strides out of the overflow of this relationship

with Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit. I knew that her relationship was stronger than my efforts, but I didn’t know what to do about it. Scripture tells us that spiritual growth will never be achieved through man’s effort. It can only happen through God’s mercy. :MIMBS 8 How can you discern if you are truly living by the power of the Holy Spirit, or if you are simply using your own strength to pursue a set of values? Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 22:1-23:23, Acts 2:147, Psalm 122:1-9, Proverbs 16:19-20

Tuesday—June 5 • A Different Kind of Idol? For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. Galatians 5:17

Galatians 5 lists the obvious acts promoted by the sinful nature: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy, drunkenness, orgies etc. Most of us will agree that all those things should go on our list of “don’ts.” We list the places we shouldn’t go, things we shouldn’t do. We struggle to control our anger and improve our relationships. We may even surrender our known idols— money, houses, shiny cars, splendid vacations. But if we make an idol out of our own goodness, or out of looking holy before other people, then we are continuing to live in submission to the

sinful nature rather than surrendering to God’s power. None of us can depend on our own righteousness. We can only depend on Jesus’ righteousness, credited to our account. And we can trust Him to finish the work, molding us to be more and more like Jesus. :MIMBS 8 In what ways have you been trusting in your own righteousness? Pray that you would surrender this self-righteousness and instead rely on Christ’s. Daily Reading: 2 Samuel 23:24-24:25, Acts 3:1-26, Psalm 123:1-4, Proverbs 16:21-23

q Wednesday—June 6 • Changing from the Inside to the Outside And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations. Ezekiel 36:26-27 nLT When my in-laws downsized, they asked if Patsy and I would like four Martha Washington Chippendale chairs that had graced the office of my wife’s grandfather when he was one of America’s top executives. I leaped at the opportunity to preserve that heritage. The chairs needed to be re-upholstered, so we chose a rich leather covering. When we finally finished the project, they looked beautiful. I placed them in my office, and about two or three days later, I noticed a musty smell. I ignored it, but it intensified. So I called the upholsterer and discovered he had put these incredible

coverings right over the old padding. He put a new outward appearance on the chair, but he neglected to change what was inside. My friend says, “You can’t behave your way out of something you believed your way into.” In other words, acting righteous (the outside appearance) will start to “smell funny” if you’re just covering the same old beliefs and self-reliance. To surrender to Jesus means letting Him change you from the inside out. :MIMBS 8 Re-read the scripture passage at the beginning of this devotional. How does that explain the correlation between God’s work within us and the changes that occur in our attitudes and actions? Daily Reading: 1 Kings 1:1-53, Acts 4:1-37, Psalm 124:1-8, Proverbs 16:24

Thursday—June 7 • Growing in the Fruit of the Spirit But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such there is no law . . . Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:22–23, 25

Many years ago, a guy asked me to pray that he would have more patience. I said, “Are you crazy? You don’t have to ask God to drill patience into you. He already offers it as a fruit of the Holy Spirit.” That’s true of every characteristic listed above. All believers face a struggle between the old nature and the new. Even the Apostle Paul wrote, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15). He noted that only Christ can rescue us from that state (Romans 7:24-25). As we choose daily to walk in the Holy Spirit’s empowerment, we will find ourselves growing in the fruit of the Spirit,

and moving further away from our old desires. Eventually we’ll look back and realize we aren’t the same men we used to be. By God’s grace, we can escape from the need to conform to the outward appearance of “holiness,” and we can convert all of that focus on our desire to live by the Spirit. :MIMBS 8 Write a prayer asking God to help you escape from the need to conform to an outward standard of behavior, and focus your attention on living by the Spirit. Daily Reading: 1 Kings 2:1-3:2 , Acts 5:1-42, Psalm 125:1-5, Proverbs 16:25

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—June 8, 9, 10 Do People Want What You Have? Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders . . . 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

Several years ago, a man named Ken from our Bible study group was in the hospital. Word spread about the cheerful, 80-yearold man in room 3330. One day a doctor stopped by. He hesitated and said, “Please tell me why you are so happy.” Ken said he’d be glad to explain. “But first, let me ask how you find enjoyment.” The physician said, “Well, I had a plane, and I thought I’d enjoy that, but I didn’t. Now we have a boat, but I’m not enjoying that either. Nothing I’ve done has brought much satisfaction.” Right about then, a maid entered the room and began working on the other side of the bed. Ken had conversed with Maria before, so he knew a bit about her. Ken

asked her to look at him. Maria’s radiance filled the room. Then Ken asked her, “Do you know my Lord?” “Oh, yes,” she said. “I love my Jesus Christ.” Ken returned his attention to the doctor, describing a time when he had no peace, no sense of significance, no enjoyment. In a moment of humility, he surrendered to Jesus Christ. “The only things I ever asked God for were peace and joy, and he’s given me those things. You’re in this room today, because you want what I have. But it’s not my peace and joy. It’s the peace and joy of the Holy Spirit.” Ken concluded, “If you want what I have, then sometime today you need to humbly confess your sinfulness before a righteous and holy God. You need to tell Him you can’t find enjoyment apart from God. And you need to surrender your life to Jesus Christ. Then you’ll know what I know.” :MIMBS 8 Ken’s experience begs us all to examine our lives before God. Ask yourself, “Do other people want what I have?” Why or why not? Daily Reading: 1 Kings 3:3-7:50, Acts 6:1-7:50, Psalm 126:1-128:6, Proverbs 16:26-33

For Your Small Group ❏ For June 4–10: Ask each man to share what it means to allow God to change you from the inside out. • Have you spent time trying to become what you think others may want you to be? How did that work out? • During that process, did you change your actions or change your heart? • Describe what it was like when God worked to change you from the inside out?

Monday—June 11 • The Father-Son Relationship We will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders. Psalm 78:2-4 nLT

Some of us had great dads, and some had not-so-great dads. But all of us had imperfect dads, and we all need to understand that we don’t have to repeat our fathers’ mistakes. I’m reminded of a man named Ed. When he was seven years old, Ed’s dad laid a hand on his knee to comfort him. That’s the only time Ed remembers his father ever touching him. When Ed turned 60, he decided to take initiative in his relationship with his father. He drove to his dad’s house and knocked on the door. When his dad answered, Ed hugged him and said, “Dad, I love you.” He said it was like hugging a telephone pole, but it meant so much, because it was the only time he and his dad ever hugged. Ed chose to break the cycle that haunted

his family. He chose to be a good dad, passing on something different from what he received. I beneﬁted from that, because Ed’s daughter became my wife. A father’s inﬂuence is dramatic, touching every aspect of life for our children, and sometimes for others as well. :MIMBS 1 What is the most important positive lesson or habit you learned from your father? What is one thing you want to do differently than your father? Daily Reading: 1 Kings 8:1-66, Acts 7:51-8:13, Psalm 129:1-8, Proverbs 17:1

Tuesday—June 12 • Facing Reality Then David fled from Naioth at Ramah and went to Jonathan and asked, “What have I done? What is my crime? How have I wronged your father, that he is trying to kill me?” “Never!” Jonathan replied. “You are not going to die! Look, my father doesn’t do anything, great or small, without letting me know. Why would he hide this from me? It isn’t so!” 1 Samuel 20:1-2

King Saul, feeling threatened by David’s popularity, plotted to murder the young man. David brought his concern to Jonathan, Saul’s son. When Jonathan denied his father’s intent, David challenged his friend to do more research, and Jonathan discovered that David was right (see 1 Samuel 20). Jonathan faced the truth and chose not to repeat his father’s mistakes. Most of us didn’t grow up with an extreme example like Saul, but we all had imperfect fathers. My dad had pure motives, but because his father had abandoned the family, my dad never experienced a father’s love. He never felt whiskers brush his face, never smelled his

dad’s cologne. My dad tried to break that cycle, and he made great strides. But in some ways he repeated his father’s example, though to a lesser degree. I didn’t understand. From a very early age, my thought process went something like this: my parents are both great people, so if there’s a problem, it must be my fault. Healing began when, as an adult, I quit living in denial. I faced reality, accepting my parents’ imperfections. :MIMBS 1 Have you faced reality and accepted your parents’ imperfections? Explain your answer. Daily Reading: 1 Kings 9:1-10:29, Acts 8:14-40, Psalm 130:1-8, Proverbs 17:2-3

Wednesday—June 13 • Grieve Your Losses

Saul’s anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, “ . . . As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send someone to bring him to me, for he must die!” “Why should he be put to death? What has he done?” Jonathan asked his father. But Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him. Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David. Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger; on that second day of the feast he did not eat, because he was grieved at his father’s shameful treatment of David. 1 Samuel 20:30-34 Today’s scripture shows that Jonathan researched David’s claim of Saul’s murderous plot against him. When Jonathan came face-to-face with the reality of his father’s intent, “he was grieved at his father’s shameful treatment of David.” Anyone who wants to avoid repeating a father’s mistakes must begin by facing reality. Your parents might have been wonderful people, or they might have been evil. But no matter where they fell on that continuum, because they were fallible human beings, I guarantee they sometimes failed to pass on the heritage of godly character. We all need to face that reality. One day I realized that my parents

thought they could produce a thousanddollar-kid on a hundred-dollar-investment. They expected a huge return on their limited investment of time and affection. I took time to recognize what I had missed, and I grieved it. I don’t remember weeping or wailing. But I did choose to quit living in denial. I faced reality, and I allowed myself to experience the sadness that accompanies loss. And then I chose to move on. MIMBS 1 What losses did you experience as you were growing up? How have you grieved them? Daily Reading: 1 Kings 11:1-12:19, Acts 9:1-25, Psalm 131:1-3, Proverbs 17:4-5

Thursday—June 14 • Moving Toward Healing

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:9-12 We move toward emotional and spiritual I handed him a birthday card. I had writhealth when we face our losses, admit our ten my own message: “Happy Birthday. I hurt, and take time to grieve. But we don’t really love you, and Dad, I hope you are want to stay there—we want the Holy proud of me.” He read my message and Spirit’s healing. replied, “You know I am.” It was enough. I If you’ve been to a men’s retreat, you gave my dad the same charity I would hope know the subject of a man’s relationship to receive from my own children, and in the with his father can quickly reduce the audiprocess, I found I was moving toward healence to silence and even tears. The topic ing. MIMBS 1 is emotionally charged, either because we received great encouragement from our How can you extend to your dad the same fathers, or because we were starved for our charity you would hope to receive from your dads’ approval. children? In my adult life, I started taking my dad Daily Reading: 1 Kings 12:20-13:34, Acts 9:26to lunch to celebrate his birthday. When I 43, Psalm 132:1-18, Proverbs 17:6 was 47, I took my dad to a restaurant, and

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—June 15, 16, 17 Dealing with Memories and Vows Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

Several years ago, while meeting with a counselor, I recalled an event from when I was eight years old. Dressed in my baseball uniform, I argued with my parents because I did not want them to attend my game. They finally agreed to my request, so I walked to the field alone, crying because they weren’t coming to see me play. In response, my counselor told me about a boy named Johnny whose father was a pastor. Johnny’s dad promised to take him fishing, but an emergency phone call changed their plans. Johnny was home all day, and by evening, he was extremely sad. His dad apologized saying, “I’ll take you fi shing another day.” Johnny responded, “It’s okay. I don’t like fishing anyway.” Johnny came up with that false explanation, so he could avoid dealing with the mistaken idea that his dad didn’t want to

spend time with him. My reaction to my parents followed a similar pattern. At some early age, I decided I wasn’t important to my mom and dad. I made a vow that went something like this: If you don’t want me, then I’m done with you. Over the long-term, that vow didn’t just apply to my parents—it applied to everyone. I would trust someone without question, until I felt that person had let me down, and then I would write them off altogether. My counselor helped me repent of my vow. Suddenly my heart began warming toward people who had offended me. If you have discovered some unexplainable dysfunctional behavior in yourself, I challenge you to ask God if you need to repent of some vow that found its way into your heart. Let God search you and reveal any offensive way in you. You may need help from a good friend or counselor. But in the midst of all that, you can trust God to lead you in “the way everlasting.” :MIMBS 1 Take some time to pray the prayer recorded in today’s Scripture passage. Record anything that God reveals to you. Daily Reading: 1 Kings 14:1-18:46, Acts 10:111:30, Psalm 133:1-135:21, Proverbs 17:7-13

For Your Small Group ❏ For April June 11–17: Ask the men in your small group to share three words to describe their father. • Was it diﬃcult to honestly describe your dad? • Was it easier to focus on the positive or negative characteristics of your father? • Have you been able to offer grace to your father for any negative impact he’s had on your life? How have you celebrated any positive impact?

Monday—June 18 • The Ultimate Standard And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 nkjv

When asked to give man the most imporsmudged, dog-eared words in our vocabtant guiding principle in life, Jesus could ulary, ‘love’ is the grubbiest, smelliest, have stressed any point He wanted. slimiest,” wrote Aldous Huxley. “It has Obedience. Truth. Courage. Faith. He chose become an obscenity which one hesitates none of these. to pronounce. And yet it has to be proJesus knew that hundreds of millions of nounced, for after all, love is the last word.” people would follow Him, that the world If a card-carrying humanist like Huxley would judge His teaching by the cornercan grasp the importance of love, how stone concept He picked. Whatever He laid much more should we aspire to this, the down as our guiding principle would set the greatest standard—and the greatest gift—of tone, the texture, the all. DTMIM tension, the tenor and the timbre for every Write down one How can I show my love for God aspect of human life. practical way you can and others today? It would reach into the show your love for privacy of every dining God and others today. room, every boardDaily Reading: 1 Kings room, every bedroom, 19:1-21, Acts 12:1-23, and set the ultimate Psalm 136:1-26, standard by which Proverbs 17:14-15 everything is judged. Jesus chose love. “Of all the worn,

Tuesday—June 19 • The Law of Love By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. John 13:35

As ruler of our hearts—a position He holds as a result of our voluntary submission to His Gospel—Jesus has the right to issue commands. He’s given us plenty of orders, plenty of laws. But He squeezed all of them into two statements—love God and love others. Jesus made love the most important thing—the overarching, guiding principle of the Christian life. He rested the full weight of His teaching, life and ministry on love. So what should we make of this “law of love”? Under the supreme authority of the law of love we should strive to be guided by this idea: “As an act of my will, and by the command of Christ and the power of the

Holy Spirit, I choose to love every person I meet.” Jesus said, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35). If love fails, Jesus fails. And Jesus never fails. DTMIM What should loving others look like? Using 1 Corinthians 13 as a guide, write down some answers to that question. If you have time, connect each aspect of the passage to a specific person or circumstance in your life. Daily Reading: 1 Kings 20:1-21:29, Acts 12:2413:15, Psalm 137:1-9, Proverbs 17:16

Wednesday—June 20

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The Deﬁnition of Love

[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7 nkjv internationally-understood language. It’s the glue that holds us together and the oil that keeps us from rubbing each other the wrong way. Can you think of any other ingredient that lubricates relationships like love? DTMIM

Some men on a fishing trip off the coast of Costa Rica sat in a circle at the back of their chartered trawler and traded stories. From a distance one of the Spanish-speaking crew kept eyeing them curiously, skeptically. About halfway through the day he approached one of the men, with an English-speaking crewman in tow to translate. “I have been watching you today,” he said through the translator. “I don’t know what it is you men share, but I have been looking for it all my life. Can you tell me, what is the thing you men share together?” What the Spaniard saw was love—the

Thursday—June 21

Consider your love for your wife and family. Have you endured all things? Have you covered their “sin” against you, or have you kept a record of wrongs? What can you do to lubricate the relationship? Daily Reading: 1 Kings 22:1-53 , Acts 13:16-41, Psalm 138:1-8, Proverbs 17:17-18

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The Model of Love

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you.” john 13:34 nkjv One evening when our children said thank you at dinner, the waitress commented how unusual it was for children to express appreciation these days. That’s because “these days” the world is a touchy place, a petty place and an ungrateful place. You will often be met with apathy or indifference—traits diametrically opposed to Jesus’ command to love one another. How do we move the idea—the command—to love one another from the realm of abstract idea to personal

application? Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you.” Why does Jesus call this a new commandment when it had already been written in the Old Testament (Leviticus 19:18)? Because Jesus had come in the flesh and permanently changed love into a living, personal example. We love each other by mimicking Christ’s love for us. He loved us just as we are. He overlooked and forgave our sin. When we love others like that, we are truly following in His steps. DMITM Select one person whom you haven’t loved with a Christ-like love. Write down some practical ways you can show your love to that person. Daily Reading: 2 Kings 1:1-2:25, Acts 13:42-14:7, Psalm 139:1-24, Proverbs 17:19-21

q Friday, Saturday, Sunday—June 22, 23, 24

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How Jesus Loves Us

A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11 Let’s take an in-depth look at the three ways Jesus expresses His love for us. Jesus Loves Us As We Are In the movie Rocky, the central character is a dull-witted neighborhood guy who operates just beyond the fringe of the real world. He falls in love with Adrian, prompting her brother to ask him why. “I don’t see it, Rock. What’s the attraction?” “I don’t know. I guess it fills in gaps.” “What gaps?” “I don’t know—gaps. She’s got gaps. I’ve got gaps. Together we fill gaps.” Everyone has gaps, and everyone is looking for someone to help fill them. Jesus does that, and He proved it while He was on earth. He loved beggars, prostitutes and thieves—even Pharisees. He didn’t say, “Change and I will love you,” but rather, “I love you, now change.” Jesus Overlooks Our Offenses One day while making a hotel reservation I became somewhat offended by the disinterested reservations clerk. But rather than give her a piece of my mind, I said, “You must be having a bad day.” “Oh, yes sir, I am,” she said. “But thank you for understanding.” What came within a whisker of ruining both of our days turned into an opportunity

to glorify God. She even found a room for me at an extraordinarily low rate. The secret of loving others is letting the “little ones” go. It’s the mind-set that seeks to set people free, instead of setting the record straight. Jesus does that for us. Jesus Forgives Our Sins Jesus forgave the sins of all who sought His forgiveness, and of some who did not. He has asked us to do the same. Would you like to take forgiveness to thorough conclusion? If so, first prayerfully make a list of every sin you can think of which you have committed or which has been committed against you. Second, confess your sins and ask God to restore you. Third, ask God to forgive those who have sinned against you. Fourth, forgive those who have sinned against you. Finally, where practical and wise, personally meet with those you need to forgive and those from whom you need forgiveness. This is love in action, and it will set you free. DTMIM Have the men in your group make the list talked about in today’s lesson. Follow the five steps of forgiveness, and then watch as God sets you free. Daily Reading: 2 Kings 3:1-7:20, Acts 14:816:15, Psalm 140:1-142:7, Proverbs 17:22-25

For Your Small Group ❏ For June 18–24: Ask someone to read aloud 1 Corinthians 13 from an easy-to-understand version of the Bible (New Living Translation, New King James Version, etc.) • Do you live your life based on the law of love? • How would people be able to see that? • Can you think of one thing you could change that would show more love to a friend, neighbor or family member? Find something to implement this week .

Monday—June 25 • Living in the Tension He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

At Man in the Mirror, we find that developing a godly marriage is a man’s biggest challenge. Imagine a set of old-fashioned scales with a tray hanging on either side. Suppose you could set your “marriage problems” on one tray, and all other problems on the other tray. Which side do you think would sink lower, demonstrating that it’s heavier. For most men, the side laden with “marriage problems” would be much heavier than all the other problems put together. The wise writer of Proverbs tells us a good wife is a gift from God. But Scripture also notes that marriage requires hard work. The Apostle Paul even wrote, “. . . those

who marry will face many troubles . . .” (1 Corinthians 7:28). Marriage isn’t perfect. It carries complications. A Christian husband must learn to live in the tension between those two ideas—marriage is good, but it’s not easy. All relationships are hard. Since your marriage should be your closest and most intimate human relationship, it stands to reason it would be the hardest to figure out, and the hardest to get right. MIMBS 9 Name a man whom you believe has a strong marriage. List three evidences you’ve witnessed which support your choice. Daily Reading: 2 Kings 8:1-9:13, Acts 16:16-40, Psalm 143:1-12, Proverbs 17:26

Tuesday—June 26 • Keeping God’s Commands

Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 1 Corinthians 7:17, 19 When my daughter wanted to get married, we made a list together of four things she wanted in a man. He would have to be passionate and fun loving. He would have to lead her into holiness. And he would have to be laid back. Admittedly, some of those items seem mutually exclusive. After a couple of years I asked her, “Do you think we should shorten the list? It’s an overwhelming task to find a guy who can do all of this.” She said, “I’m sticking with it.” Then she encountered a guy who actually met all of her criteria, and still she hesitated. He was everything she was looking for, and she felt like they were falling in love, but she didn’t know if they would

be happy. I remember saying, “You’re going to have to decide whether you want to be imperfectly happy or perfectly unhappy.” Striving for perfect happiness through marriage won’t yield the desired result. In fact, it will lead to total failure. Whether you’re married or single, Scripture clearly says your goal shouldn’t be happiness, but obedience. MIMBS 9 Which is more important in your life—being happy, or keeping God’s commandments? Explain your answer to another man. Daily Reading: 2 Kings 9:14-10:31, Acts 17:134, Psalm 144:1-15, Proverbs 17:27-28

q Wednesday—June 27 • Imperfectly Happy, or Perfectly Unhappy? To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 Some men are extremely unhappy in their marriage. They are tired of the little nitpicking and peevishness, the power struggles and finding fault. In fact, it’s ironic that, for a lot of men, the very things that irritate them now about their wives are the things that originally attracted them. They thought it was cute back then, but now it’s irritating. That kind of silliness is anchored in a cultural lie, leading us to believe the most important thing about marriage is personal happiness. To combat this, we need to decide whether we’d rather be imperfectly happy, or be perfectly unhappy. We may think we are unhappy now, but the results of not learning how to live in harmony will lead to greater unhappiness for us, and for

the generations that follow. If you screw up your marriage, you will pay, and your children will pay, and your children’s children will pay. Eventually, there will be a guy like me whose family is still reeling from a decision made 80 years before by a grandfather who thought marriage was all about being happy, and so he abandoned his family when things became difficult. MIMBS 9 Have you decided if you’d rather be imperfectly happy or perfectly unhappy? Talk about this with your group. Daily Reading: 2 Kings 10:32-12:21, Acts 18:122, Psalm 145:1-21, Proverbs 18:1

Thursday—June 28 • The Authority of Scripture I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:10-11

God is a redeemer, and He can heal a family line broken by the selfishness of someone who pursues personal happiness at all cost. I’m seeing healing in my own family. But in my opinion, pursuing happiness as a goal can become a curse. What really counts is obeying God’s commands. The issue in marriage, and in almost every other venture, is the issue of authority. Authentic Christians settle this question by saying, “God’s Word is the final rule of authority for all matters of faith and life. I will obey God’s Word.” That answer won’t make us perfectly happy. We live in a fallen world that labors under the curse of sin. Our world, and everything in it, has been corrupted. We

see problems everywhere—even in our marriages. But even in the midst of all that brokenness, obedience brings victory. We can know a joy that the world does not understand. And it begins when we stop wondering if the Bible is true, and we start trying to figure out how it’s true— how it applies to the situations we face. MIMBS 9 How have you settled the question regarding the final authority for all matters of your faith and life? How is that demonstrated in your life? Daily Reading: 2 Kings 13:1-14:29, Acts 18:2319:12, Psalm 146:1-10, Proverbs 18:2-3

Friday, Saturday—June 29, 30 • From Survival to Success

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28 When we decide to obey God’s Biblical mandates, He usually changes our hearts through a process of repentance. That means we admit that we can be willful and peevish people. We like to have our own way, and we entangle ourselves in power struggles, even with (or perhaps especially with) our wives. We want to be served rather to serve. We haven’t loved our wives in the way that God desires. If you find yourself in that place, let Godly sorrow flow into your heart. Prostrate yourself, literally or figuratively, before a Holy God and tell Him, “I’ve been seeking happiness, but from now on, what will really count in my life is obeying Your commands.” Then, if you really want to move from survival to success in your marriage, I challenge you to consider what it means to love your wife and give yourself up for her. How can

you serve your wife? A few years ago, I had the opportunity to serve my wife for about a month as she recovered from ankle surgery. For years I had watched her involvement in so many details of life. I had admired her, certainly. But when I got up close and personal, I gained such a deep appreciation for her. Serve your wife. It might make you perfectly unhappy for a little while, but I believe you will gain a rich reward. You’ll find yourself in a place of joyful marriage that really is what God wants for you. You don’t find happiness by pursuing happiness. I’ve proven by experience what the Bible has always promised. You find happiness by obeying God’s commands. :MIMBS 9 List three ways in which you can serve your wife within the next week. Ask another man to hold you accountable. Daily Reading: 2 Kings 15:118:12, Acts 19:13-20:28, Psalm 147:1-148:14, Proverbs 18:4-7

For Your Small Group ❏ For June 25–30: What is your first reaction to the word “obedience”? (trust, discomfort, dog training, authority, children, etc.) • Was your reaction positive or negative? Why do you think you had that reaction? • Which is more important in your life—being happy, or keeping God’s commandments? • What thoughts go through your head when you deal with a situation where obedience means you may be temporarily unhappy?

Manhood: Don't Let Your Son Leave Home Without It by Robert Lewis

When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. —The Apostle Paul, 1 Corinthians 13:11 In my estimation, fathers today are coming up short with their sons at three critical points . First, we have failed to deliver to our sons a clear, inspiring, biblically grounded definition of manhood . How critical is that? It’s comparable to a hunter without a gun . . . or a soccer game without a ball . . . or a cross-country trip without a map . Telling a boy to “be a man” without defining manhood is like saying, “Be a success .” It sounds good . But, practically, it takes you nowhere . Second, most fathers lack a directional process that calls their sons to embrace the manhood they should be able to define . Typically, what passes for masculine training in most homes is vague and hit-or-miss . We assume sons will somehow “get it .” But most don’t . This hit-or-miss pattern sends conflicting signals and suffers under the weight of its own inconsistency . Worse still, it handicaps a son in knowing how to move out of childhood and into manhood . What he really needs is specific language and training that takes him to the place where, like the apostle Paul, he can say, “When I became a man I did away with childish things .” A third shortcoming involves the loss of ceremony . How many dads today think of formally commemorating their son’s progress or passage into manhood? Very few . A pioneer of the secular manhood movement, Robert Bly, makes this penetrating observation: “There is no place in our culture where boys are initiated consciously into manhood .” Manhood ceremonies have, in fact, become a lost art form . And sons have lost these powerful, life-changing moments where, in the presence of Dad and other men, they can mark either their progress toward or passage into manhood . In the absence of these special ceremonies, sons are left to wonder, Am I a man? Of course, it doesn’t have to be this way . But if dads like you and me are going to have better outcomes, we must invest these three missing assets into our sons’ manhood portfolios . Is there some way to introduce these three elements—a definition, a process, and ceremonies—into your son’s life? Yes . And it begins by looking back to another day and another time for inspiration . . . back to the age of knights . This is an edited excerpt from Raising A Modern-Day Knight—A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood by Robert Lewis. A Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers Copyright 1997, 2007. All Rights Reserved.

What a terrific gift for Father’s Day! Give one to every dad in your church! Purchase this Great Resource at a Great Price! A Box of 12 for $28 or a Box of 48 for $85 (plus shipping & handling). To order, go to www.booksbythebox.org

9,000,000 Books and Counting

12 Years of Books! by the Box .

This year we passed a major milestone in Man in the Mirror’s Books! by the Box program . Since the program’s inception for Father’s Day, 2000, over 9,000,000 books have been purchased by churches and leaders and distributed to men (and many women) . This is a testimony to God’s faithfulness! In addition to Patrick Morley, well-known authors such as Bob Buford, Max Lucado, Charles Colson, John Eldredge, R .C . Sproul, Steve Farrar, Dennis & Barb Rainey, Lee Strobel, Robert Lewis and many others have been featured . Fun Facts about Books! by the Box

A group of soldiers in Afghanistan are excited about their new reading material!

 Books have been distributed on six continents (we’re still waiting for a

purchase from Antarctica!)  Churches in all 50 states have participated  Over 2 .6 million copies of The Man in the Mirror have been distributed, our

most popular title .  In 2003, Extravagant Grace, became our first book for women . Along

with nine additional titles, over 1 .4 million women’s books have been distributed .  Many books have made it into foreign countries by being given to and through our troops . Books change lives, says Pat Morley . “I’ve often been amazed to see how a man gets hold of a book, and God uses the book to get hold of the man .” Here’s what some other men had to say: I have given away the Wild at Heart book to over 100 guys now!!! My favorite one was on a plane to Istanbul. Thanks for making it possible to distribute life-changing books to people without the huge overhead cost! People are AMAZED when I oﬀer them a book and expect nothing in return. I’ve lost count of how many books I have bought by the box! God only knows the impact of this ministry! Thank you! My ﬁrst book went out today to a 30 something young man who just started church. I gave him the book and after taking the chance to tell him where I thought he was in his life, tears came to his eyes as he thanked me for caring enough to step up and share.

30 Things in 30 Months: A Father & Son “Bucket List” continued from page 4 charge . I asked him to make a list of 30 things he›d like to do with me before he graduates from high school . In 3 days, he had 25 . We’re at 30 now (you can see it above/below/on the next page) . We’re not locked into this list—we’ll adjust as we need to . Some things I was happy to see on the list—college road trip to Boston (where I grew up) and snowboarding (I’ve always wanted to learn) . Some surprises too: he wants to find another father-son duo to read a Christian book together and meet weekly to talk about it . Besides being intentional about doing things together, I also see this as a crucial part of fathering a teenaged boy . To accomplish this list, we will be spending a lot of time together . My friend and mentor Geoff Gorsuch (Brothers: Brothers: Calling Men into Vital Relationships) says, “Women bond face-to-face in shared conversation . Men bond shoulder-to-shoulder in shared experience .” By creating experiences for my son and me to have together, we are creating opportunities for bonding . Each of activity is a chance to find teachable moments, learn life lessons together, and deepen our relationship . Proverbs 23:24 says, “The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him .” I want to raise a righteous and wise son . This will not happen without my help! (See Proverbs 29:17, Hebrews 12:10-11, and most disturbingly, the story of Adonijah in 1 Kings 1, and verse 6 in particular .) Most of these ideas are not especially “spiritually focused .” But that’s OK . It’s likely that someday Jackson will have children of his own . I am looking forward to laughing with him as we talk about the adventures we went on together when he was a teenager . And I’m praying that God will use these times to prepare him to be a good father himself . I’m so grateful God whispered this idea in my ear (He uses all kinds of tools to speak to His kids) . And I’m excited that my son pounced on the idea . Now, my prayer is for follow through—and for finances; the kid’s got some expensive ideas! But I’m trusting God to provide these opportunities for meaningful experiences . I’m looking forward to this Great Adventure with my son!

• BRETT CLEMMER

Brett Clemmer is Vice President of Leadership Development with Man in the Mirror . He is the co-author with Patrick Morley and David Delk of No Man Left Behind: How to Build and Sustain a Thriving Disciple-Making Ministry for Every Man in Your Church . Brett and his wife, Kimberly, live in Casselberry, Florida, and have two children, Cassidy and Jackson . Follow Brett and Jackson's adventures at 30thingsin30months.blogspot.com .

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