Forget me not

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FORGET ME NOT A Novel by Erica Pensini Contact: erica.pensini@gmail.com

I tell you these things are real…beyond is anything. – Ern Malley I’m with you in Rockland where you’re madder than I am I’m with you in Rockland where you must feel very strange…

-Allen Ginsbergwe must bring our own light to the darkness. nobody is going to do it for us.

-Charles BukowskiThere are no intact men – Pete Dexter

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The trial: May 15, 1966 The defender Your honor, Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have heard the facts and you have heard the testimony of Iris Luna Celati.

Iris Luna Celati does not perceive the world the way you and I do. She suffers from an acute mental illness which alters her spatial and temporal perceptions. Iris Luna Celati believes she belongs to another century and another continent!

If you ask Iris Luna Celati who she is, she will depict herself as a character who you might have read about in a fairy tale as a kid, or perhaps in a novel. Iris Luna Celati is unaware of her own identity! I have already interrogated Iris Luna Celati to prove this aspect, but you are more than welcome to repeat this exercise to convince yourself.

If you asked Iris Luna Celati who you are, she will portray you with vivid fantasy, and you will gasp with bewildered surprise at your own portrait. Will you recognize yourself in that portrait? I challenge you to!

Iris Luna Celati’s vision of those who surround her is as distorted as the vision of herself.

Of all the witnesses you have listened to, Iris Luna Celati is the one who without any doubt damaged her own reputation the most. I already highlighted the doubts, the shades and omissions, undeniably weakening the reliability of all testimonies but one. The testimony of Iris Luna Celati.

Iris Luna Celati’s testimony is an unconfutable proof of her guilt.

But is it? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, your honour, is it?

If the answer to this question is yes, then you must accept to view yourself as a lady or a gentleman from the 18th century, because this is who you are to Iris Luna Celati! Remember her testimony, all of it!

When I asked Iris Luna Celati, “Who do you see in this court?”, what was her answer? “I see the same people Iryssa saw on May 15, 1866” I see the same people Iryssa saw in 1866!

When I asked Iris Luna Celati the cause of her actions she told me that a man named Cesar Mercury is.

Is this true? Nobody knows because Cesar Mercury is nowhere to be found!

Ladies and gentleman of the jury, your honour, the only guilt Iris Celati can be accused of is mental weakness. And for this guilt she should not be punished, but rather receive compassionate help in an appropriate institution. I confide in the law and in your well-pondered judgment.

The Judge Page 3 of 79

Does the defendant have anything to add?

Iris Luna Celati I am sinful, not crazy, and you must punish me for my sins.

Chapter 1: Iris Luna I live in the attic of an old building built at the end of the last century, abandoned for a while and finally renovated to acquire its current appearance. The location is quite central, but my street is strangely quiet for this city.

My attic barely fits my bed, a tiny desk, a table to eat and a doll-sized bathroom, but this is really all I need. I also have a small balcony, from which I sometimes listen to the whispers of the city at night, after spending the day in the lab.

My laboratory is also in an old building, hidden in the meanders of the basement, where I spend my days unaware of the weather, the time and the flow of life outside my small world. The meager stipend I receive is barely enough to cover my monthly expenses, and yet I wouldn’t imagine myself doing anything else. The thrill of the discoveries I make in my reign of neatly aligned chemical bottles, beakers, syringes is worth more than any pot full of gold. Yes, there are also the frustrating times when day after day that result you long to see eludes you, and your failures haunt your sleepless nights. But then the lucky day will come, and the idyll of that much desired result will outshine the struggle. Oh, how beautiful it all seems then!

If you look close enough, what may appear ugly to the untrained eye will begin to appear fascinating, perhaps addictive. My addiction is mercury cyanide. To you mercury cyanide might be nothing but a potent poison, one that leads to death when touched or inhaled. But do you know anything about the dark beauty of mercury cyanide when, exposed to fire, it dies and revives in new forms? Pharaoh’s snake is the name of the twisted, mysteriously repulsive and yet hypnotizing being that mercury cyanide turns itself into when it is ignited. And do you know about the playful concert of sizzling bubbles mercury cyanide produces when it reacts with aluminum in liquid ammonia?

To me mercury cyanide was nothing but the malevolent encounter between one atom of mercury and two atoms of carbon and nitrogen. But my perception of mercury cyanide gained complexity, of course, the day I was assigned the task of discovering how it triggers the formation of glycosides, Janus creatures resulting from the ambiguous embrace between sugar and another type of molecule which is often not as sweet.

Today has been one of those days that leave me exhausted, and yet flaming with adrenaline. I am not there yet, that result I have been chasing for one year still eludes me, and yet I feel I am close, so close, to finding the key that will open the doors to the mystery room. Fragments of what I can experiment tomorrow race through my mind, but I am much too tired now to make a coherent plan.

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And so I try to pause. I dine with a light soup in the dim light of my small room, a cozy shell surrounded by the humid dusk of this winter night, while I wait for a new dawn.

Chapter 2: Cesare Mercurio Last week I feared I might not receive the mineral salt I had asked for, my precious cinnabar from Monte Amiata. My lustrous cinnabar, red with passion. There has been some turmoil in the cinnabar mines of Monte Amiata, the workers complain about suffering from what they call mercurialism. They are nauseous, weak, shaky and if they neglect the warning signs mercury give them, they die. And so those of them who are still half healthy have raised their voice, they refuse to work. The ignorant! In small doses mercury purifies the body from sores and contagious diseases. But mercury will kill the man who treats it like a vulgar element, because it is virile and violent.

I have a sacred respect for mercury, my beloved enemy. I seek its soul, its hidden properties, its innate purity. Yes, its purity! I have been testing ways to eliminate every molecule of impurity from mercury, days and night, and today I have finally succeeded!

Most chemists and even alchemists – the charlatans! – know how to extract mercury from cinnabar, in which sulfur, the negative pole, and mercury, the positive atom, are bound to each other as complimentary souls, as good and evil in this world. When cinnabar is crushed, then heated to temperatures as hot as the earth’s devilish intestines, sulfur dioxide evaporates as a cloud of evanescent pink, which mutes itself into a foam of whiteness as soon as it meets oxygen. Such innocent colours shall not confound you! The vapour mist is toxically malodorous, and the clever chemist will ensure that it is collected in tightly enclosed tubes, and diverted away from the laboratory. When the rotten fumes evaporate, mercury remains in the ampoule, drawn to it by its heavy solidity.

But purity cannot be achieved by most chemists, let alone by alchemists. In truth, no chemist, not even the most skilled one, was able to isolate mercury, distilling every atom of impurity out it. No chemist but one, and that was I! I have created a complex labyrinth of tubes, in which mercury is redistilled in multiple purification cycles till nothing but glossy drops of its noble atoms are collected in the last ampoule.

Whiffs of wind are pushing against the windows of my room, their chilled voice echoing in the house where I live alone. The flame of the candle flicker, its dim halo illuminating my words as I write, and the moon, full and mysteriously sensuous, is looking upon me with the smile of an enigmatic lover. How beautiful is nature!

My eyes are burning and my energies are fading, spent as the candle melting away at my side. I shall rest awhile now, and shall my night be populated with the inspiring and oracular dreams of the wondrous reactions that will spark in my laboratory tomorrow, now that I am the only man in this world to own pure mercury!

Chapter 3: Iris Luna

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They say that night brings council, and although I don’t much believe in common proverbs I found the most ingenious ideas during the fruitful lullaby of dreams and the starry blanket of the night. When I woke up this morning after a quick breakfast I walked briskly to the lab. I had seen the reaction during my sleep, it was all in my head, but I needed to replicate it in the daylight to celebrate the discovery.

My apparatus was waiting for me. I have built it myself, it is simple enough in principle, although it appears as a labyrinthic forest of tubes. The tubes convey each chemical in my ampoule at the right moment, one drop at a time, till I obtain that one special blend that can give birth to the glycoside I want. With my apparatus I have first recreated good-tempered glycosides, the curative glycosides of the saponine family, with a frothy appearance and an evanescent fragrance of fruit, and the cheerfully yellow flavonoids. Then I began experimenting on the evil cyanogenic glycosides, the creation of which is triggered by the colorless, odorless and deadly mercury cyanide. I thought my first cyanogenic glycoside should be the oldest glycoside known, Prunus amygdalus (Amygdalin), the poisonous compound found in bitter almonds and apricot kernels. Then I synthesized many others, from Lotaustralin to Taxiphyllin. I have been able to emulate nature!

But today I have gone a step further, and I have produced my own creature, the cyanogenic glycoside that may one day carry the name of its mother: Irissa Celata, the chimera made real!

I had seen it all: the voluptuous red, and the intense green and finally the whimsical disappearance of all colours, the birth of my infant, Irissa Celata. I have wanted it for months, and now…

I knew I’ve made it, but before celebrating I needed the last proof. In a corner of our lab we have a spectrometer, a bulky machine with a tiny mouth into which the samples are fed. I was starting my final experiment with barely steady hands and excited expectation when Otto Hermes walked in the laboratory.

“Hello Iris”, I heard behind my back, and I hardly managed not to spill my precious solution, startled as I was by the unanticipated interruption “Oh hello Otto, I didn’t expect to see you”, I replied “Well, sometimes it feels good to be back in my own lab”, Otto Hermes laughed Otto Hermes is my colleague. He moved here from Germany some months ago and is working on some topic I am not too sure about. Otto often roams in different labs to conduct analyses with a number of instruments, and even when he is working right next to me he keeps to himself for the most part. He is a pleasant enough fellow though, and I really don’t have any complaints about him.

“Well, welcome back”, I said smiling I hoped Otto would leave, since I was tingling with the urge to see the signature of my Irissa Celata in the spectrum I was about to acquire. But he didn’t.

“What are you looking at?”, he asked instead Page 6 of 79

“I am pretty sure I have been able to generate a new molecule, and I am just about to prove that I am right”, I said, trying to contain my enthusiasm.

“Oh really? This seems exciting”, he replied, out of conventional kindness I believe, since his voice had suddenly turned flat and his expression absent How can he not find this exciting!, I wondered.

“Is something worrying you?”, I inquired, thinking he might have an unsolved problem on his mind “Ah no, I will have to run few more tests this afternoon. Lots of work to do, that’s all”, he replied as evasively as usual “Well, good luck”, I said, resuming my work without waiting for his reply I don’t think he was seeking sympathy anyways, and I heard him leave and close the door few seconds later.

So finally I could work without interruptions! I placed the sample in the spectrometer and watched the spectrum form on the screen, one peak after the other. Wonderful! Magnificent! There, I knew it! Irissa Celata, my poisonous and yet beautiful glycoside, is undeniably born.

And yet my work has barely begun, tomorrow I will have to sail out for the next part of my journey. I will start analyzing the personality of the molecule, its reactivity, its endurance to heat, its transition from one form to the other. I trust that my molecule will reveal itself as a fascinating and treacherous femme fatale, with a flickering and yet dominating nature, violently flamboyant. Yes, tomorrow I will investigate who is the creature I have generated, but today I shall let the feverish state I am in subside awhile.

I had in mind to go straight back to my attic, but when I crossed the Elizabeth Cross library on my way back I felt compelled to walk in. The Elizabeth Cross library is a treasure well with books of all kinds and all times, from recent to ancient. The rare book collection is located in an octagonal room, with a dim central lighting system and green lamps aligned along the thick wooden oak tables. The visitors are invariably few, usually studious men and women with thick glasses and intensely abstracted expressions.

This is the room I love the most, because of its soothingly muffled atmosphere, its mysterious smell, and of course the beautiful books. I walked along the shelves, reading the titles and admiring the fine covers, some well-kept, others tattered and perhaps all the more fascinating because of that. There are times when I simply look at the covers of the books and walk away, but today I was attracted to a manuscript.

It was the rich red colour of the cover that caught my eye, but it was the title that won me: “The mercurial soul: an unusual odyssey of mysteries”.

Rare books cannot be taken from the library, so let me take some notes while I sit here and tell you what the book says before I forget.

Do you know the origin of mercury’s name?

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Hydrargyros is the element with a multiform nature, resembling water (hydra) because of its versatile liquid body, and silver (argyros) because of its moon-like argentate reflection.

Due to its water-like side, hydragyros (Hg) glides rapidly, and is thus sometimes called quicksilver, sometimes mercury, being akin to the swift messenger of the pagan deities, Mercury-Hermes, the ineffable god with winged feet, son of Zeus and of the nymph Maya celebrated during the Ides on May 15, and to the planet mercury, which moves around its orbit with unparalleled celerity.

The next page is blurred, before residing in the protective atmosphere of the library this book must have seen tempestuous moments. And yet I can still make out the words‌

To the ancient people mercury was an element with healing properties, but also a deadly one for the miners working in the Italian mines of Monte Amiata to extract cinnabar, the red salt of sulfur and mercury, from which mercury was distilled. Sophic Salt, sophic sulfur and sophic mercury: the savvy German Paracelsus thus described the principles of the Prima Triade, the first triad, the origin of all things. In the first triad Sulfur is soul, Mercury is sprit and salt is Material Body.

And thus are the symbols of cinnabar

mercury

And sulfur

Long ago I recall reading somewhere that the Prima Triade is the symbol of the union between man and woman, the ancestral dream of unity between the two poles of the world. When I think that cinnabar is the salt that contains sulfur and mercury, I am led to envision it as the unity of female and male, the two poles‌but let’s read more.

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Giovanni Battista Nazari, an eminent Italian alchemist, envisioned the Prima Triade as a dream (so there!), a fantastic creature carrying in itself the three seeds.

The reader must be aware of the subtle meaning of the elements of the Prima Triade!

Sophic sulfur is the male element, obtained from the purification of ordinary gold, and sophic mercury is the female element associated with Luna, the argentate moon, and is purified from silver. Quicksilver, or ordinary mercury, is the element that generates the sophic salt, the third principle, the material body.

When the expert alchemists blends the three principles in the exact proportions, he will obtain the Philosoper’s Stone, the elixir of life, the treasure that will give immortality to the fortunate man who owns it!

I don’t fully grasp the details of this explanation, do you? And yet there is something that touches me in these pages. Perhaps it is the atmosphere of the library, or the ancient feel of these words, their jagged edges on the yellowed background. I have grown intrigued and disquiet at once. I must leave this place immediately, don’t ask me why, I cannot explain my state of mind.

Chapter 4: Cesare Mercurio Page 9 of 79

This morning I was walking to the laboratory, sizzling with ideas after a night populated by imaginific dreams, which were an exalted exaggeration of reality but which nonetheless seeded my mind with creative chemical inspiration. Adsorbed as I was in the wondrous mist of my own thoughts I did not pay much attention to the passer-byes in the streets, still dusky with the unfading night. And yet, amid the early morning crowd, one woman could not pass unnoticed with her flaming hair, bold and yet languid, falling on her back in silky curls, her fine traits and supple figure, her feminine shyness. Ah, what a splendid creature! The women gene as a whole is inferior to the virile seed, and yet as a man of science I acknowledge that each golden rule has at least one exception, the wondrous anomaly, the singularity point. I do not possess direct knowledge of the intellectual stamina of this mysterious woman with hair the enchanting colour of cinnabar, and yet the poised allure of the woman indicates that she is indeed gifted with an intelligence superior to the average of her gender.

I shall not however divert my mind from the science, which is the true language of the universe’s divine soul. Today what I have found is marvellous, and it brought me unexpected joy! I knew that the distillation of mercury to its purest state would have led to unparalleled advances in my quest, but never would I have imagined seeing the spectacle that presented itself before my eyes! Today I blend different ratios of mercury and hydrogen cyanide – the somber Prussian blue coloured gentleman, subtle and treacherous. I did so out of curiosity for a strange phenomenon I observed when I accidentally dropped a bottle of hydrogen cyanide and part of the fluid spilled in the mercury I had so carefully distilled! I felt my senses weaken as the hydrogen cyanide bottle broke, and I barely succeeded in departing from the lab, swaying like a teetering drunkard! I let the fumes evacuate, and I sat in the fresh air grateful for each breath of life I received. Ah science, how much I am willing to risk for the love of you! Upon my return in the lab I found that my mercury had transformed itself into a white powder upon contact with the droplets of hydrogen cyanide. I smelled the powder but I could not detect any distinctive odour. The taste of the powder was bitterly metallic, as I detected by placing a minuscule amount of it on the tip of my tongue. To reveal the nature of a chemical compound, one must subject the compound to the four fundamental proves: the proof of water, alias its dissolution in aqueous media; the proof of air, alias its fugacity and propension to volatilize; the proof of earth, alias its attraction to earth and its heaviness; and the proof of fire, alias its resistance to the flames and its transformations upon contact with them. I began with the proof I am fondest of, the purest one: the proof of fire.

I spread the white powder on a meticulously cleaned marble surface, creating a neat stripe of my newborn compound. I recorded the time. It was almost noon, although the wintery dusk had not lifted even during that hour of the day. I lit a candle with some difficulty, but finally the wick caught fire and burned, casting a flickering halo of dimly warm light against the semi-obscurity of the laboratory. I approached the candle to the powder. The flame shivered, and then it bent, touching the powder just slightly. Oh miracle, oh marvel! Every white grain became a monstrous creature, swollen, twisted, chaotically contorted, ever-muting, and the powder evolved into a serpent, a devilish and godly creature at once! What had I created!

Once upon a time I had found a book, old and dusty, in a small shop of curiosities of all sorts. I was drawn to the book although I cannot ascertain the rationale for my attraction, perhaps it was the scarlet cover, perhaps the title, “Egyptian pharaohs: an unusual odyssey of chemical mysteries”, perhaps Page 10 of 79

something else. Here, I still have it on my shelves. Let me blow the dust off it and find the words that now echo in my mind.

…As “The Books of Overthrowing Apep” describes, Apep is the malignant serpent, the deity of darkness and chaos, the great enemy of luminous Ra, the god of light, the opponent of chosmotropic Ma’at, the lord of order. The fight can never end, as chaos and order cannot exist as separate entities, like the day needs the night. Chaos, similar to ever changing water, is the cradle of life, similar to a mother’s womb, filled with dark vital fluids. And yet it is fire, the purifying and luminous element, to shape the formless fluidity of life nurtured by chaos…

Do you have an intuition of how this book spoke of what I saw? Although these diary pages I am writing are meant for myself and myself only, I know you too will be there reading them one day. Reader, I am a man of science, do not mistake me for an ignorant charlatan! So listen to what I have to say.

The echo of the time flows eternally through the past and the future, and chance does not exist. The book found me and spoke to me, it impressed its message within me for a reason. Today I understood that the elements had freed their energy through me and that the message they announced was darkly perilous and vital at once, although I cannot yet fully decipher it.

I shall proceed with the proofs of water, earth and air in the next days. But for now I must concede myself a soothing rest and empty my mind of foreign thoughts, to let what I have seen slowly adsorb within me. And yet, once again, the image of the woman with flaming red hair refluxes in my memory as a marine tide inspired by the lunar force.

Chapter 5: Iris Luna This morning stepping in the lab I found Otto Hermes crouched in front of the fridge, holding the bottle containing my Irissa Celata. He was studying the bottle with undivided attention, as if some profound truth about the compound might be revealed to him through visual observation. He was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice my presence. So he was interested in my glycoside after all! Otto Hermes is an introvert fellow and I never had the chance to observe him without him knowing, and so I could not resist taking advantage of the situation out of mischievous curiosity. I took a step back, so that I was standing in a somewhat hidden position close to the door, from where I had a full view of Otto Hermes’ moves. After a while he appeared satisfied with the analysis of the bottle, and placed it back in the fridge with meticulous attention. I generally bring my lab book home with me because I sometimes re-read my annotations before going to bed when making plans for the next day, and because it is so important to me that I cannot get myself to leave it behind. Yesterday, however, I had forgotten it in the lab in my bubbly excitement. After closing the fridge, Otto Hermes turned a sidelong glance towards the part of the bench where I usually worked, and seeing my lab-book there he moved towards it. He observed the cover, with an attention almost similar to the one with which he had studied the bottle. It was hard to decipher his intentions, but his behaviour was most certainly peculiar. He traced the profile Page 11 of 79

of the lab book cover with the index, and I thought he was about to open it when he suddenly turned, as if fearing or sensing my presence, and when he saw me standing on the door he started.

“Why”, he exclaimed, “I hadn’t seen you! Have you been there long?”

“No, not really…”, I replied, accompanying the words with a vague gest of the hand Otto Hermes stood there in an oddly stiff position “Are you all right?”, I asked “Sure, why?”, he said, laughing, while straightening in a more natural posture “Because I saw you stare at my bottle and then at my notebook and finally at me as if you had just seen three ghosts, that’s why!”, I exclaimed, laughing myself Otto Hermes became serious and considered me for a moment, then he smiled again “Yes, I hadn’t see that bottle in the fridge before and I was curious”, he said I shrugged “The bottle contains the compound I mentioned yesterday, but I had the feeling you weren’t interested”, I replied curtly, vaguely irritated by his attitude “I am always interested, but I get often get caught in my own work and…”, he started “Sure”, I interrupted, “but in case you ever want to know more just ask me, I will be happy to share” “Yesterday you were taking a spectrum of the molecule, I noticed you were so excited about it. One of the labs where I work now has great equipment that could help you. Yesterday I was very much worried about my own work, I have been trying for so long and I am not getting great results. Sorry if am uncommunicative at times, it is the work that puts me in a certain state…”, Otto Hermes explained “Ah Otto, we all go through such phases”, I said, feeling more sympathetic than a moment earlier Otto Hermes tilted his head slightly, turning his palms upwards in a gest of patient surrender “But if I can ever give you a hand I would be more than glad to”, I said, meaning it He smiled “Thank you…well, I’d better get going now, I have some experiments to run in another lab” “Oh sure, good luck!”, I replied When Otto Hermes left I took a quick glance around the room, feeling a cheerful urge to start the reactions I had planned yesterday and examine the behaviour of my Irissa Celata. When I took my labbook, flipping the pages rapidly, a small piece of folded paper slipped out of it and twirled in an airy Page 12 of 79

dance to the floor. It is not my habit to place loose papers in my lab book, so I picked up the note, intrigued. It looked somewhat yellowed, so I thought I had perhaps slipped it in the lab book very long ago, and then forgotten about it. When I unfolded it I first noticed the margins, neatly decorated with the petite blue flowers that are the first heralds of spring, the forget-me-nots. I have always loved these flowers above all others, and as a child I remember I used to decorate my assignment booklets with them at school. Then I read the note, written in blue ink, faded and blotted here and there.

Recipe for high blood pressure cure

Crack the shell of apricot kernels and extract their inner part, the almond-like soft core of the seeds. Soak them in fine liquor and bring to a boil, until a dense golden brown juice is obtained. Blend some honey in the syrup to contrast its bitterness and to please the patient’s palate.

Store the syrup in amber ampoules, to impede the decay of its curative properties.

Administer an amount of syrup no greater than a pin’s head daily to lower blood pressure. Never increase the dose! The extract is lethal at high doses.

Where did the note come from? It was surely not something I had written although I experienced a sense of recognition, as if I myself had composed the note in a time that now eluded my memory. The handwriting…no, it could not be mine. And yet it undeniably resembled mine, it could as a matter of fact be mine if I used a nib to write. Does this seem absurd? I know it does. I began to shiver when I realized the recipe was describing the old fashioned way of distilling amygdalin, the first cyanogenic glycoside I had synthesized, the ancestor of my Irissa Celata.

I wondered if this was a joke. Otto Hermes. He had been looking at my lab-book, perhaps he had placed the note in there, perhaps he would tell me in the next days and we would have a good laugh at it. And yet…how could he know about my love for the forget-me-not flowers and about amygdalin, and how could he emulate my own handwriting so closely?

I slipped the note back in the lab-book and sat awhile, fluctuating in an inexplicable altercation of emotions. At one moment I felt as if I had just set foot in an old surrounding, where I recognized each block, each pastry shop, each street sign, but the next moment I was shoved by turbid waves of uncertainty and deep sadness.

I cannot tell for how long I stood there in pensive stillness, but at a point a fan started and its sudden grumble shook me. Get to work and test the reactivity of Irissa Celata, that’s what I had to do. I looked at the watch on the wall: 8.30 a.m. already. Any other day at this time I would already be deep into my experiments.

In the previous months I had tested the reactivity of each cyanogenic glycoside I synthesized with water, to assess if they could spontaneously hydrolyze releasing hydrogen cyanide, the potent poisonous gas responsible for their toxicity.

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I placed an amount as big as a headpin of my Irissa Celata in a flask and stirred, carefully collecting the gas exhaling from the mixture. Indeed, my Irissa Celata released hydrogen cyanide! There wasn’t much in the sample, but its signature was undeniably there. I repeated the experiment, increasing the temperature by 10 °C at a time. The results were predictable up to 90 °C, but then the unexpected happened! As soon as Irissa Celata made contact with water it evolved into a thorny creature, swollen into a size much larger than Irissa Celata in its original form, almost as large as the whole flask! The fascinating monster, the lunar lizard that had formed grew with each drop added, then all of a sudden it dissolved in deep blue swirls till all that was left in the flask was still liquid, tinted with a serene light blue shade. Once again I analyzed the gas evolving from the solution, and I found hydrogen cyanide, so much of it this time! But that’s not all, there was also something else, something unknown. What a wonderful joy it is when the magic of the elements surpasses one’s imagination, leaving one dazzled with playful wonder and tingling curiosity!

I spent the whole day investigating the nature of the mystery compound, swaying between sudden intuitions and the disillusionment of having made an erroneous guess.

As I ran one experiment after the other, the clock spun its arms and the day melt into a rarefied sunset tinged by fine shades of orange, and finally into a dusky melange of blues. When I caught a glimpse of the imminent change in the horizon I sat awhile to admire it. This is such a unique moment in the day, how can one overlook it? And this evening it occurred so fast…or perhaps it was I to have a skewed perception of time? When the sunset faded into the impinging night, I turned heavy with the weight of tiredness, as the sky deprived of the light became heavy with darkness. I closed my lab book, wrapped myself up with my warm coat and left, happy to be heading home and yet still bubbling with thoughts of what else I could attempt to discover more about the fruit of the encounter between Irissa Celata and water, that compound and its elusive nature!

I was distractedly wondering what I could have for dinner while still elaborating the experimental plan for the next day when I found myself in front of the Elizabeth Cross library. I looked at its old fashioned façade and suddenly the memory of the previous day and of my visit to the rare book section refluxed in my mind, and I remembered the book that had attracted me and unsettled me so. What was the title?

Yes, “The mercurial soul: an unusual odyssey of mysteries”. I stood at the entrance, looking up at the blown-glass windows, the columns fashioned in the classical Greek style, the reassuring austerity of the building. And, once again, I felt compelled to enter. Don’t, I told myself without knowing why, while my feet walked past the library’s door despite my resistance, and brought me to the rare book collection room. I instinctively headed to where the book, that book, was. I immediately found it. I took it off the shelf and stroked its scarlet cover with the tip of my fingers. It felt good to the touch. There were but few people in the room, and the spot where I had sat the day before was empty. I headed there, and when I opened the book the page was the last one I had read the day before. Was this a coincidence? I told myself that one can make-believe too many fantasies after spending most of one’s time alone. And yet…and yet I had the distinct feeling that the book was talking to me, that it was meant for me. Use your own judgment to decide if I am right. Here is what the book said.

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The multiform nature of mercury is best manifested through its daughter compound, its poisonous salt, engendered by the reaction with the burning chemical known as thiocyanic acid. This poisonous salt is denominated mercury thiocyanate, and it carries in its name the memory of both its acidic mother and its mercurial father. Beware, this salt differs in nature from sophic salt! Since mercury cyanide descends from thiocyanic acid it carries the burn within itself, it blisters the vital organs with abrasive violence to the point of death.

It cannot give birth to the philosopher’s stone, the elixir of life!

Since mercury cyanide carries the burn within itself, it is during the proof of fire that it expresses its own nature and the nature of its parent compounds. When touched by the heat of a vivid flame, mercury thiocyanate will outgrow itself, twisting with rage like an evil snake liberated by a spell, and evolve into a terrifying animal, large, monstrous and in all aspects horrendously dissimilar from the original compound. Thus, exposed to the purifying fire, mercury and cyanate will reveal their cruelty and their greatness, the masculine potency, and the chameleon’s personality which inspires a dual feeling of mesmerized awe and profound revulsion.

Sitting here in my small attic I sense odd vibrations in the air, which I cannot decipher. The full moon is looking at me through the window, and I look at her in return, trying to read the reflection of the future on her eternal face. With the distinctive enigmatic imperturbability of an Egyptian sphinx she seems to know secrets spoken with so light a whisper no human ear can detect them. Please tell me, I beg her without words, but a silent good night wish and a poised smile is all I get for an answer.

Chapter 6: Cesare Mercurio This morning I was making my way to the laboratory, eager to start the experiments on the powder I have serendipitously generated yesterday. And yet I was floating in a peculiar juvenile lighthearted state of mind, which made my work unusually fragmented and erratic. I incidentally asked myself the origin of this condition, and as I did I caught sight of the flaming head of the woman I had seen yesterday. I must admit – unwillingly – that a rush of mirthful warmth inundated me, uncontrollably. I understood that the carefree merriness I had felt within me few moments earlier was the result of having met this woman who can ignite me with pure happiness by her mere presence, even from a distance. Who is she?, I asked myself. I am not a foolish man, and you must know that never before I have reacted with such irrational impetus to any encounter, let alone to one with an unknown woman! And yet this woman has the power to influence my disposition with the same strength with which the moon affects tides, and I had to discover who she was. I thus observed her from a distance, and let my steps follow hers.

She took a turn in a narrow side street, and for a moment I feared she would become aware of my presence because we were the sole passers-by in that solitary street at that early time of the day. And yet my woman – alas, why I am calling her mine? - and yet the woman who fascinated me like a hot

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flame in a cold winter day did not see me. After walking awhile in this narrow alley, she guided me into a graciously petite square where I hadn’t been passing in a long time.

Remembrance square is its name. There is an ornate fountain in the center of the square, representing a woman playing with fishes, as the foam of the waves wraps her voluptuous body in a vigorous embrace.

In a corner of the square there is an apothecary shop, which I never noticed before today, and there the red headed woman entered. I stood at the opposite side of the square, as if waiting for someone.

From there I had a full view of the shop, of which I could see the inside because of a large window on the front. There was a man in the shop, who seemed to me like the owner because of his age and behaviour. There was an exchange of phrases between them, which seemed to indicate friendly familiarity between the two, although I could not hear the conversation. Then the woman removed her coat and went behind the counter. She is an apothecary! I saw her set some jars on the bench and mount what was clearly a distillation apparatus. She proceeded in setting up the equipment necessary for her work with attentive care. Alas, how adorable her intent expression was! And how peculiar that she is also a chemist, although the application of her work is dissimilar from mine! Do you not believe that I instinctively understood the connection between us? You must recognize that such a similarity is all the more astounding because being an apothecary is by all means an uncommon profession for women. And this woman is much too well dressed, much too refined to be in need for money. Clearly she is an apothecary by choice! Oh beauty!

In spite of the pungent chill of the air I could have spent hours observing her work with loving passion, but how could I motivate my prolonged presence in the square? My precious woman should not detect my presence, not for now at least. I therefore headed to my laboratory, with the hope that my work could soothe the turmoil within me. And of course, I also had a plan for the day, and plenty of discovers awaiting me! Not a single woman in this world could be more intriguing than my science: such was the thought animating my fast-paced return to the laboratory.

Once I reached the laboratory I proceeded to arrange the flasks and the beakers for the proof of water. I was about to set up all the chemicals required for my experiment when I looked up, and my eye caught sight of a glass jar where I had stored two graceful pieces of cinnabar with a peculiar translucence and a dainty shape. And a mad thought crossed my mind. Two pieces of cinnabar…I took them and admired them from a while, holding them on my palm against the cone of light coming from the window.

Indeed, it was a mad thought, but after setting my mind on it I could not renounce it anymore. I placed the cinnabar back into the jar, I hastily donned my coat and slipped the jar in my coat’s pocket. And out I was again, heading to a jeweller’s shop I had seen at the corner of Berzelius Street. The shope had appealed to me because of its solitary and mysterious appearance.

Can you speculate on what my instinct was leading me to do when I decided to walk to the jeweler? If there were two pieces of cinnabar, did it not mean somehow that one should me mine, and the other one should belong to the woman whose hair was red just like the beautiful mineral from which my wondrous, manly mercury derived? There was nobody in the shop, and that was just as well because I needed calm focus to define how to valorize the precious stamina of cinnabar in jewels like nobody has Page 16 of 79

seen before. I wanted the two pieces of jewelry to be unique, imaginific and refined, and worth the value of the mineral they carried within them.

After a while the jeweler came out from the back of the shop, with a slightly arched back, a whiskery face surly with focused attention and dark blue eyes that captured the jar I was holding with rapid and competent precision. The jeweler tried to disguise his astonishment as he observed the contents of the jar.

“May I suggest diamonds with better tones of red?”, he asked “This is a mineral of unparalleled value”, I replied firmly “Of course sir”, the jeweler conceded I was well aware of his skepticism, but I was willing to excuse his ignorance – if not accept it – provided that the man fulfilled my request!

“I am here because you have the reputation of being the best jeweler in town. Respect the mineral I gave you, even if you do not comprehend its value!”, I began and the jeweler nodded, startled by the vehemence of my tone “I want you to make a necklace and a ring. The necklace must have a pendant, obtained by embedding the mineral in a drop of glass, perfectly transparent, as transparent as the purest water. Mind you, the perfect transparency, the watery quality, is essential! The chain is less important, but make sure it is nothing less than excellent. For the ring, encase the mineral in a piece of gold forged into the shape of a flame. The red cinnabar I am giving you must be enveloped in virile tongues of heat! Are you able to do this by tomorrow afternoon? Work all night, do whatever it takes, but complete the work soon and flawlessly!”, I concluded “As you wish sir”, the jeweller said I nodded, and walked out of the shop pondering how to meet my fabulous creature again, how to speak to her and hand her the necklace which would have the same power, elegance and fascination that she herself possessed.

Alas, hours later I am still rolling the same question in my head, unable to do anything but imagine the moment I will give the necklace to the woman…can I make this moment happen? Will it be perfect?

And… The words elude me.

Alas! Alas!

Chapter 7: Iris Luna This morning when I reached the lab I was sizzling with the hope that the experiments I had in mind could reveal the very soul of the mysterious gas that had formed from the reaction between Irissa Celata Page 17 of 79

and water. And yet as soon as I began working I felt a disharmonic note in the air, I was inexplicably distracted and enchained a number of vexing mistakes. I kept on working nonetheless, but a disquiet feeling foamed within me till I finally paused. What was happening? I suddenly realized I had the urge to go out for a walk, and for some reason I cannot define a certain old part of the town where I hadn’t been in ages came to my mind. I decided that I would take the rest of the morning off and stroll for a bit in the delightfully decadent flavour of that area, perhaps have lunch outside and get back to work with a refreshed mind.

It was strange how on my way I was animated by a sort of inner tingle, the sort one feels when anticipating a special encounter, although I was not to meet anyone at all. I walked smiling to myself, letting my gaze wander distractedly on the streets as my steps were drawn to that part of the city, that street, I so longed to reach. And at last I was there. Berzelius Street, read the old plaque on a building erected a couple of centuries ago. I had been here before, and this is the place I had wanted to reach, but it seemed so different from my memories, as if it had been glazed with a breeze from the past since the last time I had been there. Ah, it was certainly me and my skewed perception! I was not quite myself today. And yet…let me tell you what happened.

As I walked along Berzelius Street I saw a solitary jeweler’s shop. The shop had an antique look to it, so antique in fact that one could picture it being dormant in time following a potent spell, with the dust in the glass window concealing unimaginable mysteries. I have never seen this place before, although clearly it must be impossible that it hadn’t been there before. How very strange…I hesitated at the entrance a moment, caught between an inexplicable sense of fear and an intense desire to penetrate the enigmatic door. And at last I walked in, irresistibly fascinated. I was alone in the dim light of the place for a while, barely able to orient myself at first. My eyes had just started getting adjusted to the light of the place when a man with a slightly arched back and a conspicuous mustache appeared from the back. He paused his dark blue eyes on me for a timeless moment with such undivided attention I asked myself if truly I was the first person he had seen in centuries.

“How may I help you?”, he finally asked, once he appeared to satisfied with his scrutiny I began opening my mouth but I was speechless, since I myself was unaware of what I was looking for, and if I was looking for anything at all. As I dropped my gaze in wavering shyness I caught sight of a necklace displayed on a mannequin’s head behind the counter. The necklace had the most beautiful pendant, a drop of wondrous clarity, as transparent as water, with a mineral embedded in it…a red mineral…was it cinnabar or was I confounded about its nature? At once I knew that necklace was meant for me, it felt like a special object that had belonged to my past and that I had finally retrieved after believing it lost for years. Happiness was my first sensation, pure and full, but then a subtle melancholy snaked with in me and turned into uncontainable sadness. Why this pang of shattering pain? And why the plenitude of my joy when I first saw it?

The man cast a deeper gaze on me.

“Are you sure that is what you want?”, he inquired

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I nodded “It is not in me to change the course of destiny”, he replied, and I wondered what he meant I was about to ask but he placed the index on his mouth in sign of silence. Then he took the necklace and wrapped it in red paper, with slow careful moves. I stared at the movement of his long bony fingers, mesmerized. Once he finished the paper wrapping he raised his eyes on me, and for the shortest instant I saw a flash of compassion cross his gaze.

Why? I thought, and bugged my eyes There was an array of ribbons in a basket on the counter, he picked the black one and completed the package.

“How much do I owe you?”, I asked when he handed it to me “Nothing, the necklace has already been paid for”, he replied “How come?”, I exclaimed, rounding my eyes in astonishment But instead of answering the jeweler shifted his gaze to the window, and I instinctively turned towards it. There was a man standing there, of young age and yet so old fashioned. He had a long mustache, trimmed into a pointy shape and twisted upwards. His hair was fairly long, glossy and black as charcoal, the same way his eyes were. Burning eyes, looking at my gestures with undisguised suspense…or was I imagining? There was love and anger in those eyes, and the two emotions alternated in a lacerating inner turmoil.

Our eyes crossed for an instant, then he abruptly left, pulling up the neck of his black coat with an irritably gest, as if he could no longer take seeing my figure on the other side of the glass.

I turned back to the jeweler.

“Is this the man who..”, I began, without getting myself to finish A moment of heavy silence weighed on me, stretching itself in my disoriented mind.

“Good luck, lady Iryssa”, the jeweler said at last I gasped Before I could recompose myself he made a stylized gest to the door. I stood there speechless, struck by his sharp gaze penetrating me down to the bones. I stepped backwards, stumbling and empty headed as if intoxicated, and I tumbled out the door.

Then I ran.

I ran and ran, not even knowing where. And when I stopped I found myself in front of the library. Do not step in, I thought for some reason, and I did nonetheless, irresistibly drawn through the door.

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I stood at the entrance, looking around in confusion. For a moment I didn’t recognize the place, as if it were new to me.

Somebody stepped inside. “Excuse me”, a voice said from behind my back, and I started, because I realized that I had been standing at the entrance for who knows how long, stoned in time. I mumbled an apology. Hearing my own voice shook me from the torpor in which I had been suspended, and I finally became able to retrace the identity of the place. I realized that I knew the place, and that I had been there before, many times. Suddenly I moved to the rare book section with hasty steps. Almost unconsciously, driven by an irrational and absolute instinct, I found my book on the shelves. I let it fall open, and it split at the page I had last read.

Time has concealed the glory of the true discoverer of mercury cyanide’s nature, and hidden the name of the scientist who liberated the marvellous and evil spirit of this compound through the proof of fire.

But time has not erased the names of the men who were initiated to the mysteries of mercury either by destiny or by the precepts of apt mentors, or inspired by their spirit of discovery! Of all men there is one of majestic stature, a memorable man of science, solitary and surly, and yet full of passion! This man lived and died with passion! His very name indicates that his destiny was bound to mercury! Oh skeptical reader, Cesare Mercurio is the name of the man, how can you deny that the universe and the life within it are more than a mere game of dice played by blindfolded Chance?

Here there was a picture portraying Cesare Mercurio, the man whose destiny was bound to mercury.

Who do you think I saw in that picture? You will not believe me even if I told you while swearing on my own life. It was the man who had been looking at me with charcoal eyes through the jeweler’s window!

Can this all be a dream? Or am I crazy? I myself distrust my perceptions.

I sat there looking at the picture for hours, time melting away, tears rolling silently down my cheeks, till the librarian touched my shoulder.

“Are you all right, miss?”, she asked.

Yes, I mumbled, and saw the clock flickering through my tears. 10.30, its arms indicated. I was incredulous.

“We are about to close”, the librarian continued.

I nodded and left.

The night is damp and cold today, and the streets felt lonely, so overwhelmingly lonely, as I dragged myself to my attic, heavy with despair.

But how did this state of mind fall upon me?

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Oh reader, now that I am here in my attic, resounding with the hollow echo of my confusion, I wish you could speak audible words.

I hear something now…but what is it? The sound is so weak, and my soul so shipwrecked I wonder if I am making believe all my perceptions.

Chapter 8: Cesare Mercurio My night was populated with dreams filled by the halo of the red headed woman…ah, I, who just a week ago dreamed about the wonders of my science with fulfilling curiosity, I who needed nobody but myself, I am now longing for a woman I have not even spoken to!

Shame should be my feeling as I am sloshed to and fro by novel passions, and yet all I can rest my attention on is how to meet the woman again. Of course I must first see the jeweler. I trust and hope he has produced the necklace I asked for flawlessly or else…no, with a reputation like his the man cannot have failed me! Once I’ll retrieve the necklace I shall go to the apothecary shop, feign an ailment. But what should the next step be? I will hand the woman the necklace as a sign of gratitude for mitigating my suffering, this is what I must do! But will I place the woman in an importune situation by handing her the necklace? And the man working in the shop, how is he related to her?

Ah, my mind is spinning with such a swarm of buzzing thoughts I must take action to prevent it from slipping into madness! Let me walk to the jeweler now, I shall return to these pages later.

------*---------------*---------------*---------------*---------------*---------------*---------------*---------------*----At last I am back to my diary and to you, oh reader, as I had promised you and myself. But reader, this is the sole promise I have kept, shame on me! My cheeks blush at my disheartening lack of courage. This morning I did indeed find the necklace and the ring I had asked for, and their quality was much superior to my requests and expectations. I slipped the ring on my middle finger, and it fit me as if I had been born with it on my hands, it shimmered with flames of red and gold as if ignited by my very soul! And the necklace! Such refinement there is to this unique piece of art! The beauty of the pendant surpassed my imagination, and I was awestruck as I held the necklace on the palm of my hand, transfixed by the blue sharpness of the jeweler’s eyes.

“What a memorable piece of perfection!”, I was able to exclaim at last “It will not be forgotten, rest assured”, the man said I looked at him questioningly, wondering at the enigmatic note in his tone, but before I could speak he raised his hand “I beg you to accept my humble apologies sir, but I have urgent work to do”, he said “What is the compensation I should give you?”, I asked, astonished by his behaviour “The one I deserve”, he replied, casting his deep gaze on me Page 21 of 79

Then he walked to the back of the shop without adding a word.

I had a bag full of gold with me, of which I had planned to use only half to pay for the jewellery. But after seeing what the man had done, I left the whole bag of gold on the counter, keeping only a coin to pay for the medicine at the apothecary shop.

I walked away with my precious necklace, my steps swift with impatient anticipation. And yet when I saw the apothecary shop from a distance I turned hesitant, my feet slowed and my heartbeat quickened. “Courage!”, I ordered myself in silence and moved on, strenuously duelling with my fears.

When I entered the shop the man was grinding some powder, while the red-headed woman was not there, or so I thought. Ah, how desperate I became at that moment!

“Good morning, sir”, the man greeted me looking up from his work “Iryssa Luna, there is a gentleman here”, he then called out and added, “My niece will be serving you in a moment” Iryssa Luna, what a fascinating name worthy of its owner!

So Iryssa Luna is the niece of the man…

I had indeed learned more than I had hoped for simply by stepping into the apothecary shop. For a moment I felt more confident and yet, as soon as Iryssa Luna appeared from the back, her glossy curls in flames and her rosy skin freshly fragrant, my mouth went dry and my thoughts lots clarity.

“At your service, sir. What may I do for you, sir?”, Iryssa Luna asked, speaking the words with a delicate voice, smiling shyly I stood there speechless for a moment, with a dumbstruck expression.

Iryssa Luna kept smiling, undeterred by my silence.

“My heart beats too fast. I trust my blood pressure is high”, I said, the words coming out at last, to my surprise.

What I had said was not even a lie at this point.

“Ah!”, she exclaimed, looking delighted, and I wondered what could be pleasing her so.

“This is a lucky coincidence, because the other day I discovered an advanced method of extracting pure substances that can contrast high blood pressure most effectively”, Iryssa Luna continued, explaining her previous enthusiasm “I am certainly pleased by the lucky coincidence”, I replied seriously “Very well, sir. I have some extract ready if you wish to have it, I prepared it shortly ago”, Iryssa Luna continued, the shy smile constantly brightening her traits Page 22 of 79

“I…I…sure thank you”, was my teetering response “Please allow me to take a moment and transfer some distillate in a bottle”, Iryssa said, sliding with the lightest moves to the back of the shop.

I felt inside my coat’s pocket, clutching the necklace.

Iryssa Luna appeared after a moment, detailing numerous instructions my buzzing ears could hardly hear. But I do recall that she repeated more than once, “Do not exceed the prescribed dose, this medicine has unparalleled benefits but it can kill you, never forget this!”. After reiterating her recommendations she handed me a note, written with beautifully elegant handwriting, on a paper decorated with forget-me-nots.

I took the note and nodded my understanding, thanked Iryssa profusely, paid for the distillate and left, with the necklace still in my pocket and without even introducing myself by my name, damn me!

Go to the laboratory and work!, I ordered myself enraged, marching with crazed disappointment at my conduct. And work could have indeed been the remedy to my inane floundering, if only I had not encountered another obstacle in my confounding day.

When I reached the laboratory I found a man standing in front of the door. I looked at him with surprised coolness, irritated by his presence.

“Are you Cesare Mercurio, sir?”, he inquired in an accented Italian, tinted with unmistakable German notes, and with an broad grin “Indeed. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?”, I replied, my irritation untainted by this man’s friendly greeting “Ricco Ermete”, the man replied, tending his hand and gripping mine with a vigour that seemed uncalled for “Very well”, I started, “and to what do I owe the honour of this visit?”

“I am a chemist and if I am not mistaken we share similar interests”, Ricco Ermete begun “You are not mistaken in saying that I am a chemist”, I replied, wondering why this man had chosen to land in front of my laboratory unannounced rather than send me a note to introduce himself His grin broadened further “Your reputation is a brilliant one”, he said “That is possible, but I tend to be a solitary man in my work and in my life”, was my response I hoped I had been as clear as crystal, and yet the man was animated by an unbelievable eagerness

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“I am a solitary man myself”, he replied, although this hardly seemed to be the case given his incessant chatter “I am a solitary man”, he continued, “and yet being from your same nationality and sharing such similar…”

I cut him short “I would have believed you were German”, I said “I have indeed spent enough time in Germany that my accent has been modified”, Ricco Ermete replied, laughing Then he suddenly turned serious, and the change was so abrupt it stroke me as odd.

“I understand you have an interest in mercury, to which I have been devoting the majority of my studies for years. I am here to share ideas, perhaps to initiate a fruitful collaboration”, he said, his eyes scrutinizing my face attentively “It is true that mercury is one of the elements that fascinates me the most because of the mysteries of its multiform nature”, I replied, a hint of sympathy for the man surging within me Ricco Ermete must have sensed the change in my disposition, because his expression lit up, and he launched himself into a long excursion into his discoveries and experiments with mercury.

“I would be honoured to visit your laboratory”, was the epilogue of his speech The man’s speech was punctuated with sparks of intelligence that tingled my curiosity. But I am not a fool, and although the man’s enthusiasm was captivating I need the solid certainty that he is not a charlatan before introducing him to the precious beauty of my scientific art.

“The honour would be mine”, I responded, “but today is an extremely busy day. May I suggest that you contact me with a missive to arrange a time to meet again?”

The cloud of disappointment that darkened Ricco Ermete’s face did not elude me, although it lasted for the briefest instant. Then the man’s expression opened into a smile – if authentic or simulated I couldn’t ascertain – and he said, “Of course, dear colleague” I decided to gather some information of this individual in the next days, as it would be a useful distraction from Iryssa Celata, if nothing more.

The encounter with Ricco Ermete used up the best part of my afternoon and, shattered as I was by the events of the day, I headed to my abode in solitary frustration. And this is how you find me now, reader, recounting the failures of my day to myself, while holding Iryssa’s medical note in my hand.

Chapter 9 – Iris Luna

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After the turmoil of the last days this morning I woke up eager to return to the lab and allow a good dose of work to wash away my anxiousness and put some rational order in my frenzied mind. I walked briskly while elaborating a plan for the day, and when I reached the lab I set myself up for the next experiments with methodic enthusiasm and mirthful curiosity.

I had been unable to decipher the nature of the gas produced by the hydrolysis of Iryssa Celata by analyzing it as it was, but what if I oxidized it and studied the products of the reaction? Perhaps that was the key to the enigma! I placed a flask on a hot plate and heated the water while adding ammonium persulfate, a potent oxidizer.

During the first instants nothing happened, but then what I saw was pure wonder! Flower –shaped crystals formed on the walls of the flask, and their colour was not uniform. Rather, it changed from deep carmine at the bottom to bluish tints towards the top. It was almost lunch time, but the excitement had chased the hunger away and I proceeded to analyze the crystals without delay. The effort was worth it!

There are still many pieces missing from the puzzle, but at least now I have enough clues to make guesses on the nature of the gas.

But there is more than this to my day…let me tell you about a strange coincidence. But was it a coincidence? I’ll tell you the story and you can decide for yourself.

On my way back home I crossed the library, and knowing I could not resist stepping in I surrendered to my wishes without opposing much struggle. Just surrender, I told myself, wondering a moment later at the reasons for which I had formulated my thought so.

I silently slipped in my usual spot down in the rare book section, and when my book opened on the page where I had left it I was not surprised. This book talks to me, I tell you, strange as it may seem…

We shall not omit the wondrous discoveries of a woman, the identity of whom we will conceal at this point of our account.

This woman extracted the rarest compounds of medicinal plants and, with the intent of improving their curative properties, combined them with mercury compounds. The minutest amounts of the compounds have beneficial properties, and yet they are destructive and deadly if not used with the greatest caution! Because of such properties we will not reveal the nature of the compounds, their methods of preparation, or the name of their discoverer.

We shall however not leave unspoken some hints, which can be deciphered only by the most brilliant minds. We confide in those minds to put the compounds to the best use, and faithfully hope that our trust will not be betrayed.

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In her notes the woman describes the formation of a rainbow of crystals, with a multicoloured flair ranging from tones of blue to deep red, that manifest chromatically the fingerprint of the chemicals from which the crystals had originated.

Now, oh reader, no more words shall be pronounced or written on this lethal subject!

That woman was I, I whispered in my mind. What had I known about the rainbow of crystals when I lived? Oh no! I am screaming oh no! in my unstable mind now and I screamed oh no! did in the library, as I sat silently meandering amid implausible conjectures.

I was grasping my red curls with both hands, my head bent, to hush the nonsense but when I raised my eyes I saw him…and it was real. I saw the man who had looked at me through the jeweler’s window. The charcoal eyes, the glossy slick locks of hair falling sensually along the cheeks, the curved mustache and… …the ring. I noticed it for the first time, with the red rock held captive by flaming tongues of gold. The red rock, I could swear it was cinnabar. I looked at my necklace, at the beautiful pendant, clear as water, holding the small speck of the red mineral within itself. How had I not realized it? It was cinnabar I had been wearing! I let the pendant slip along my neck and shivered.

The charcoal eyes were transfixed on me now, and the fine mouth was bent in the slightest smile. I began leafing through the book feverishly, raising my gaze now and then to make sure he was still there.

And finally I found it! The portrait of Cesare Mercurio lay in front of me. I raised my eyes one more time, but at that very instant the man stood up from the table where he had been sitting and walked away.

I gathered my coat hastily and ran up the stairs, swallowing them away two steps at a time.

“Wait!”, I called out, but Cesare Mercurio did not stop and disappeared in the dark streets, in the meanders of his mysterious existence.

I am writing these words in the street, leaning my back against the library columns. I am afraid of my attic tonight, I am afraid of my lonely presence in it and of the voices I hear, the truthfulness of which I shall especially doubt.

Chapter 10 – Cesare Mercurio Although I am by nature an introvert and mundane events are of dismal interest to me, I took part to a social gathering of chemists and lovers of science. I would have taken not notice of the event had it not been for my physician and friend, Sir Adolph Mors, who proposed that I participate “Out of mere curiosity for the uses and misuses of chemistry, if not with the hope of learning scientific facts of use for your laboratory work”, he had argued.

I reluctantly accepted, but in the light of the facts I shall forever be indebted to my friend!

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Contrarily to my skeptical expectations the discussions did indeed reveal intriguing novelties and inspire stimulating lines of thought, but it is not because of this that I am so grateful to Sir Adolph Mors. Oh reader, listen to how a seemingly irrelevant event can change a man’s life!

I was sitting at a table conducting an animate dissertation with a fellow scientist when I caught a glance of her flaming hair. For a moment I doubted that the vision was nothing but a delusion, as my night had been animated by oneiric images of Iryssa and by the honey-sweet sound of her melodic voice. So intense had been the dream that I had taken the necklace with me, suspended in the feeling that I would see her at any moment. How could such an absurd hope become reality? Ah, how magnificent life can be at times!

The man in front of me kept talking, but I could no longer hear his words. My expression must have turned suddenly ecstatic and stunned at once, because my interlocutor interrupted his sentence and asked, “Are you quite all right, sir?”

“Yes, yes…excuse me for a moment”, I mumbled and headed towards Iryssa’s table followed by his perplexed gaze It wasn’t courage that guided my steps. I walked almost unconsciously, oblivious of the surroundings, as if the night’s dreams permeated the world in which I was acting.

“Iryssa”, I whispered She raised her eyes in surprise, and the man who was talking to her interrupted his speech. And this man…I recognized him, he was the one who had been waiting in front of my laboratory the previous day. In which ways is he connected with Iryssa?, I wondered “I trust and hope that you are better, sir?”, Iryssa asked me “I certainly am, and I am here to thank you for your services”, I lied with unexpected assurance “I have done very little”, Iryssa replied, smiling modestly, and I felt my whole soul and body waver and shimmer at the sound of Iryssa’s voice, innocent and sensual at once.

I stood there in silence, short of words.

Iryssa rested her eyes on me, studying me with a sharpness dissimulated only in part by her natural shyness. After a moment a wave of fondness crossed her face- or am I imagining? – and she asked, “Have you met Ricco Ermete before?”

“He has indeed”, Ricco Ermete replied before I could I was irritated by his presence because of his interference in my conversation with Iryssa, but of course I have a strong grip on my emotions, as a man should!

“It is a small world, isn’t it? I didn’t expect to see you here”, I said, tending my hand with a smile, perhaps not joyful but at least polite Page 27 of 79

Iryssa arched her brows just slightly.

“Ricco Ermete has paid me a visit as he fancies my work and finds it may be of interest to him”, I explained before Ricco Ermete could talking again My intention was not to patronize the man, but nonetheless I wished to set myself apart from him and make clear to Iryssa that our relationship was merely superficial. After all I still didn’t know anything about the man.

“It is a pleasant surprise to meet you and Iryssa at once, I was unaware that the two of you were acquainted with each other”, I said, the question about the real nature of their relationship burning within me “Chemistry is the foundation of all disciplines, although not all men recognize it”, Ricco Ermete began and I nodded, unsure as to where this conversation was leading “And of course chemistry is the heart and soul of an apothecary shop”, he continued “Sir Ricco Ermete helps in my uncle’s shop a couple of times a week”, Iryssa interrupted, and concealed my giggle with a polite nod, amused by the impatient interruption of my beautiful woman “Iryssa and I have been working in the apothecary shop all day, and it is true luck that we decided to join this event…”, he started, and then continued, but what he said I wouldn’t be able to tell you because I was no longer listening to his prolix babble.

I slipped my hand in my pocket and felt the necklace’s small box. It was now or never. I needed to give Iryssa the necklace, but how? I was swaying amid this mayhem of doubts and thoughts, when Fortune – who has befriended me today and whose existence I shall never again deny – came once again to my rescue.

“Sir Ricco Ermete?”, a voice called out behind us, and as we turned we saw a page holding a letter in his hand “In person”, Ricco Ermete replied “There is a message for you”, the young page said, handing him the letter Ricco Ermete opened it and his face darkened, his frown tracing deep and deeper lines on his face at each line he read “There is an urgent matter I must resolve”, he said at last “I hope all is well…”, Iryssa said “Oh yes, yes…but unfortunately I must leave without delay. May I beg you to accept my apologies as I ask you to anticipate your ride back?”, he said

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“Taking me home would force you to take a detour, and I do not wish to inconvenience you by delaying your trip. I will be able to find another carriage to reach home, please do not concern yourself with me”, Iryssa replied with a delightful frown “May I offer you a ride home at your convenience as a sign of gratitude for healing my illness?”, I proposed, trying to keep my voice steady as my heart leaped “I am much obliged for your generosity, sir…”, Iryssa smiled, and there was an undisguised curiosity in her smile now “Sir Cesare Mercurio”, I replied laughing, “how uncourteous of me to forget to introduce myself” “I shall see you again, your kindness is greatly appreciated”, Ricco Ermete interrupted us, before walking away hastily “I haven’t introduced myself either, although somehow you seem to know my name”, she said, with a mischievous tinge in her tone “Your uncle called you by name in the apothecary shop”, I explained “You are an observant man, Cesare Mercurio”, Iryssa commented She studied me attentively for a moment, then added, “Iryssa Luna Celata is my full name Iryssa Luna Celata The name echoed within me.

“Your last name…”, I started, leaving the sentence in mid-air “My ancestors were Italian, yes”, she replied to my unspoken question Oh reader, how much I love this woman! I love her for her intuition, for the beauty of her soul and of her figure, for her wit and her feminine shyness, for the halo of well-being exhaling from her. But why am I telling you all this? After all I am bound to her for reasons beyond all the ones I’ve listed, I am attracted by a mysterious thread the logic of which surpasses my mind. And her origin…I’ve told you that present and past are woven into an endless flow, and propagate as an undeterred echo. Isn’t this but another proof of the existence of transparent and yet unbreakable links that mould our lives, as strings that move puppets on the stage of a theatre?

“What brought you here from Italy?”, Iryssa asked, interrupting my reverie “My father married a Dutch woman. He was a doctor, and yet he ironically deceased at a very early age, when I was still an infant. My mother chose to return to her homeland, and we packed few months after my father’s death, bringing with us my Italian nanny. I have no memories of my father, but my nanny spoke to me in my native language and recounted stories of my ancestors, keeping the memory of my origins vivid within me”, I told Iryssa, as she drank my account with undisguised curiosity Page 29 of 79

“And what inspired you to learn about chemistry?”, Iryssa asked “My mother married a second time, and my stepfather was a chemist. He valued his work above everything else. He spent the longest hours in the best room in the house, which he had transformed into a laboratory. Entering that room was strictly forbidden to all people in the house, and because of that my desire to discover that space grew irresistible. I was a quiet but clever kid, and I found a way to open the door at night without being noticed, or so I thought. How fascinating it was to run my fingers on the smooth surface of the flasks in the room dimly lit by the moon’s halo, to open the bottles and smell their mysterious contents! My stepfather left his notes in the laboratory, and with time I took pleasure in reading about the discoveries he had made during the day, his doubts and the description of his experiments. For a while these experiences sufficed to me, but one audacious night I felt the urge to repeat an experiment, the outcome of which seemed to confound my father considered the numerous question marks and comments on his lab book. Of course I lacked all scientific skills and when I set myself to work I stumbled at every step. The scarce illumination was a further hindrance, and so I lit a small lantern to ease my troubles. But in the middle of the experiment the flame wavered and died away, and I found myself in almost complete darkness. When I attempted to light the lantern again an ignited speck of dust fell into the dish in which I was blending the elements. As I saw it fall I gasped, fearing they would catch fire and burn uncontrollably. What happened instead is that they caught fire slowly and, when the flames smouldered, the blend slowly changed colour, muting from light yellow to glowing purple! The marvel I felt at that moment was one I never experienced before. That instant set the path of my life and I understood that my purpose could only be to pursue the mysteries of nature and chemistry”, I said, remembering And here I paused.

Iryssa had been listening to my account with undivided attention and with an expression so intense it could have been considered shameless, had it not been for the purity of her eyes and the sweet innocence of her features.

“Did your stepfather ever discover that you had violated his laboratory?”, Iryssa inquired “Indeed he did, and I did not make it hard for him to make such a discovery. I took his lab book and added my notes to his, describing my experiment and observations the way he did. Then I cleaned all the glassware and the tools I used, and when the night was about to fade away into dawn I tip-toed back to my bed, exhausted and yet electrified by an excitement I have never knew before”, I told Iryssa, smiling at the recollection of that night “And how did your stepfather react to what you had done?”, Iryssa asked, pushing her head forward slightly, thrilled by the story “I was floating in dense dreams, in which the episodes of the night acquired an epic dimension, when I was abruptly awaken by my stepfather’s voice”, I began Iryssa waited for me to continue with tense impatience Page 30 of 79

“’Get ready, Cesare Mercurio, why are you lazily lying in bed?’, my stepfather said, and I jumped up, startled. ‘Since you’ve been spending your nights in my laboratory in the past six months you might as well get some work done during the day’, he told me. I was stunned to learn that he had known about my machinations all along, and that he was by far cleverer than I was! From that moment onwards each day I spent hours in a row, and sometimes full days, in my stepfather’s laboratory”, I said The eagerness with which Iryssa drank in the information lacked the conventional flavour of the conversation of all other women, and I loved that in her. But then her mood suddenly changed.

“If your former offer is still valid, may I ask you to kindly give me a ride back?”, she asked, in a tone all of a sudden so different from before “You may ask me any time, but perhaps we could linger here a while longer?”, I hopefully proposed, biting my tongue after pronouncing the proposal Iryssa smiled indulgently, as a mother would to an unreasonable child.

“I know you would be glad to remain for a while longer”, she said, brushing me with a meaningful glare, “But I shall return home now” “Of course, as you wish”, I replied, trying to sound politely aloof as I made a gest to the door Iryssa must have not expected this response because there was a hint of perplexity in her eyes, and I wondered if she has requested to go with the hope that I insist that we stay. And yet I confide in the fact that Iryssa is not malevolent or manipulative, although the jerks in her mood are beyond my understanding.

A moment later we were riding in the carriage, where we sat in silence for a while. Then the sudden realization that we were approaching Iryssa’s house dawned on me.

“Although my ailment has much improved, I might pay you another visit in the shop. Because of our shared passion for science, it would be my greatest pleasure to speak with you again”, I said daringly, handing Iryssa a red card with my name and address, encased with stylized black ornaments.

Iryssa thanked me politely, without making any promise and without showing the hint of any emotion.

Then silence fell between us again, and when we reached her place I felt saddened, confused and angered at once, without being able to ascertain the root of each emotion. What has happened to me, who was once a stable and virile man?

Chapter 11: Iris Luna Today I spent a laboriously fruitful day in the lab. I collected more questions than answers, but I worked with a steady pace and undivided attention, immersed in the joyful peace of mind that the creative act and the intellectual strain produces. Around six o’clock I was writing the last observations on my lab book and planning for the next day, when Otto Hermes entered the lab.

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“Hey Iris, how is it going?”, he asked in a merry tone that surprised me considered the personality of my interlocutor “Not bad. You sound happy today, is your work going well?”, I replied with conventional politeness “I can’t complain”, he conceded with a modest shrug There was a pause, and I sensed that Otto Hermes had a question burning on his tongue. His long hesitation was starting to unnerve me, when he broke the silence.

“There is an event about chemistry of wine tonight, and I was able to obtain a couple of free tickets.

Would you care to join?”, Otto asked, with a smile that looked genuine I wondered what was happening to the man, and I accepted the invitation somewhat intrigued by his unusual excitement.

“Great!”, Otto exclaimed with emphasis, “we can head out in 15 minutes, jump on the first streetcar that comes around and get there by 7 pm when it all starts” “I’ll be ready in 15 minutes then”, I replied with a smile and an ironic arch in my brows that Otto did not appear to notice The emotional turmoil of the previous days seemed so remote, and I would have never expected what was to come next.

When we reached the event most guests were already there. Round tables were spread around the room, and the waiters were busying themselves bringing around bread and cheese that – I supposed – was meant to accompany the wine tasting.

Otto looked around, rubbing his hands.

“I told you it would be a good event”, he said “Sure…”, I replied uncertainly “Do you want to sit here?”, he asked, pointing at a table where a senior couple was amiably chatting “Why not”, I accepted, as the couple had already noticed us and was making gests of invitation and smiling broadly, as if we were old friends.

But after few polite exchanges following the initial enthusiasm the conversation languished, dragging itself dully. I was starting to regret accepting Otto’s invitation when the speaker walked on the stage. He was a cheerful fellow, who entertained me from the start with his talk alternating history and science, as he introduced us to the secrets of good wine-making.

After about half an hour he was talking, he announced our first round of wine tasting.

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“We will be handing you folks some wine samples now, and I want you to try and identify the flavours and classify them as fruity, woody or flowery”, the speaker said The waiters begun walking around and serving us drinks. People tasted, discussed with their neighbours, tasted again, engaged in the task as if it was the most serious duty in their lives. Otto was the most zealous of all, and he quickly became engrossed in a conversation about wine with our two senior neighbours.

I felt slightly light-headed and, uninterested as I was in the conversation happening at the table, I turned my head around, listlessly looking at the people drinking and talking at the other tables.

And it was then that I saw him. The man I saw in the book, the one I caught sight of in the library, the one who had looked at me across the jeweler’s shop. Cesare Mercurio.

I gasped, and looked at him, paralyzed. Was it really him, or was I hallucinating? I ran my eyes along his body, from his face down to his hands. And there I noticed the ring, the red stone held tight by the golden flames. Instinctively I gripped the pendant on my neck. What I felt was fear and a stirring of the blood, an attraction so strong I trembled.

Cesare Mercurio returned my gaze, but his face remained impassible, without recognition. Did he not remember me at all?

But then he smiled just slightly and raised his glass, nodding at me.

Cesare Mercurio, I whispered softly Otto head been talking incessantly with the elderly couple up to that moment, but then he noticed that my attention had been captured by something and his eyes followed the direction of mine. When he saw Cesare Mercurio he paled and shivered too, shattered by emotions I could not define.

“I…I must go”, he mumbled “Why? You looked scared all of a sudden. Do you know the man sitting there?”, I asked, indicating with a gest of my head Cesare Mercurio “Scared? Why would I be? No, I’ve just recalled an appointment I had completely forgotten about”, he lied.

“But you know the man sitting there, don’t you?”, I insisted, my eyes locked onto his “Which man?”, he asked I gestured towards the direction where Cesare Mercurio had sat, but when I turned around he was no longer there.

“But he was there…”, I mumbled

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“I’ll see you tomorrow, Iris”, Otto said, patting my shoulder He seemed calm again, and looked at me somewhat sardonically.

“Don’t be condescending!”, I almost shouted, “He was there!”

“Ok, I don’t know who ‘he’ was, but I must go now”, Otto replied coolly Then he raised his hand in farewell and walked away.

Now the people at the table were looking at me with a perplexed expression, and I felt humiliated and confused.

“I shall be heading out too”, I told them with an apologetic note in my voice, while gathering my belongings hastily.

I was heading towards the door, head down, when I heard a voice behind my back.

“Are you not enjoying yourself?”

I turned around and there he was again, holding a glass of wine. I could smell his spiced fragrance and this time there was no denying that he did exist.

My mouth opened without producing any sound, and at my reaction Cesare Mercurio arched his brows, bending his lips in an ironic smile.

“I thought you had left too”, I managed to say at last He observed me, and in his gaze there was a blend of defiance and fondness.

“Who are you?”, I asked “Cesar Mercury”, he introduced himself, tending his hand “Cesare Mercurio…”, I whispered in return “Pardon me?”, he said “You are in the book...and we’ve met before”, I told him “In the book?”, he replied, bugging his eyes and laughing “We’ve met already”, I insisted, leaving his question unanswered “Have we”, he said, his question sounding like a statement “Yes”, I iterated “Yes?”, he asked again Page 34 of 79

I felt he was playing a game and the conversation was starting to unnerve me.

“Iris Celati, by the way”, I said, my voice hardened But when Cesare smiled my mood shifted again.

I love this man, I thought, now phrasing the statement in my head with undeniable clarity.

“Iryssa…”, he whispered, and I gasped “Iryssa?”, I asked in a whisper “Iris or Iryssa?”, Cesar asked in return, his voice clearly audible now “What do you do in life?”, I replied “I am a chemist”, he said “So am I, I work at the Lavoisier center. What about you? Where do you work, I mean”, I said “I am an independent chemist”, Cesar said with elusive vagueness, but before I could ask more the speaker announced that the lecture was about to resume “Are you here alone?”, Cesar asked me “Why?”, was my almost defensive reply “Oh, I thought perhaps you could join my table?”, he said I thought about it for a moment. What harm could it do? I am aware that I have slipped in a game the rules of which are turbid and in which I cannot orient myself. I am aware now as I was then, but I felt dragged by forces unknown, by a will that was beyond my own control “Sure”, I agreed with a casual tone, following Cesar When we reached his table he pulled out a chair for me, inviting me to sit with a gallant wide gest of the hand that seemed to belong to another century. But everything in the man was of a different century anyways, his mustache, the coat that for some reason he had not removed, his white double-breasted button up with the high neck, the haughty and sensuous mouth and the disdainful brazing gaze.

The speaker began talking, but all I heard were sparse sentences and fragmented thoughts. I breathed lightly, observing Cesar with sidelong glimpses, inhaling the smell he exuded, outdated and electrifying at once. Cesare knew I was tensed towards him, and yet he acted as if it was not so, keeping his composure and listening to the speaker, or at least appearing to.

“I hope you folks enjoyed this brief introduction of the subject. I will be happy to take any questions you might have”, concluded the speaker at last, and I was at once relieved and anguished by the end of the talk.

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What will happen now?, I asked myself, but Cesar did not leave me much time to elaborate my thoughts.

“Would you need a ride home?”, he asked almost abruptly, with the clamour of clapped hands still on the background “I came here using a streetcar…so yes, I wouldn’t mind getting a ride home if my place is on your way.

Where are you heading?”, I replied “I will be delighted to offer you a ride”, Cesar replied with chivalry, eluding my question “Do you know there is a museum of science upstairs? There are old instruments, seeing it with you would bring back good old memories. Would you want to spend some time there?”, he asked “Which good old memories?”, I wanted to know “The display is enchanting and I would be most happy to show you around”, Cesar replied “Which good old memories?”, I insisted, and then continued, knowing he would not answer, “I know you would be happy to show me around, but I shall head home now” I felt wicked as I said so, and could not ascertain why I had refused the invitation. I craved to see the display myself, but then why had I replied with such detached dryness? Was it fear? My words had preceded me, had spoken themselves almost despite me.

“Of course, as you wish”, Cesare said, the coolness of my answer reflected in his tone And I gasped at his answer.

A moment later we were in Cesar’s car, an old luxury model, mint clean and impeccable in spite of the vehicle’s age. Cesar opened the door for me, with the same wide gest he had made when pulling out the chair during the talk.

I gave him my address and we drove in silence for a while. When we were close to my place I suddenly realized that I might lose all traces of this man. I didn’t know who he was and yet I felt an inexplicable sense of belonging to him. The thought of not being able to be with him again troubled me beyond reason.

“Since we are both chemists and we share similar interests, perhaps we could stay in contact. You know where I live but here…”, I said, pulling out a piece of paper and scribbling my contact information on it, “Send me a note if you ever wish to” Cesar’s mouth twisted in a slight smile of victory, or so it seemed to me. I was hoping he too would give me his contact information. I wanted to pass by his street during daytime to prove to myself that he truly exists. It all seems like a dream…how can he be real? Otto denied seeing him and where have I seen him? In a book according to which he lived a century ago! I am walking on quick-sands, and I feel

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my head spin and ache at the absurdity of this all. And yet…if only I had an address, a name…a written proof…

But Cesar slipped my paper in his pocket and politely thanked me, without offering a promise or his address in return.

Chapter 12: Cesare Mercurio Amid the concoction of passions and the turmoil of the last days I had abandoned my science! Alas, what a shameful behaviour! This morning I left my abode before the sunrise and headed to my laboratory, walking the dusky streets with vigorous steps and a fresh mind, determined to pursue the noble investigation of the mysteries I had recently began to unveil.

I was overjoyed by the thought of a fruitful day of work, and yet when I reached my laboratory I found a bitter surprise waiting for me. I was about to enter the laboratory, when I saw Ricco Ermete walk out from it, from this sacred place where nobody but I should set foot! He wore a suspicious expression on his face and moved his eyes around shadily and gingerly, the scoundrel! I hid behind a wall to observe his moves, but alas, the man walked away without giving me any hint of his intentions. Doubtlessly he had been prying around, trying to steal my secrets! I should have remained hidden for a while longer, and yet I was so restless at the thought that something had been taken from my laboratory that I rushed to open the door before Ricco Ermete had walked very far. I was thus heading to the door of my laboratory when for some reason he turned back, and caught a glimpse of me. It was dark and my eyes could not ascertain with clarity his traits, however I recognized with fair confidence the lightning of fear that crossed his face as we saw each other. And yet at that point he could not walk away without admitting his guilt, therefore he walked towards me, smiling forcefully, and greeted me with false friendship.

“Ah, I am indeed a fortunate man!”, he began I stared at him with undisguised contempt and hostility, but he continued, undeterred.

“Yes indeed! I had come here wishing to speak to you, and finding the door of the laboratory open I stepped in, deeming I would find you at work. I was surprised and disappointed to see the laboratory empty, but it is a great pleasure to meet you now!”, Ricco Ermete said with feigned enthusiasm “The door of the laboratory was open, was it truly?”, was my skeptical reply Had it not been for the mayhem of the last days I would have never believed such a hypothesis possible.

And yet because of the oddity of numerous circumstances, I now pondered if I might have left the door of the laboratory truly unlocked, although I was prone to considering the event unlikely.

“It was indeed, or else I could have not entered the laboratory”, Ricco Ermete argued

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Of course, scoundrel! You could have not entered unless you picked the lock, perhaps astutely enough that the imposture cannot be detected! I lacked the proofs though, and I thus gave the man the benefit of the doubt.

“This appears a strange fact, but I shall not reject the word of fellow gentleman as false, should I? And what was the reason for your visit, Sir Ermete?”, I inquired “It is my keen desire to exchange ideas with you…”, he begun, but I cut him short, impatiently “I take your word for it”, was my mocking reply, “since you sought to have such an exchange at this utmost early time of the day” “I believed…”, Ricco Ermete started to mumble as a disobedient brat caught stealing jam “I believed I could have interrupted your work had I come later on during the day. However, I shall call again at your convenience, if you wish”, he then concluded with some more assurance This man is either impertinent beyond belief or else he must be honest, I thought, stunned at his persistence.

“I shall apologize for asking that we meet at a later time, but I have to attend to tasks that cannot wait”, I said with a tone gentler than before “I certainly respect your duties”, Ricco Ermete replied with a gracious bow “Please send me a note, Sir Ermete, and we shall agree on a time for a fruitful discussion”, I said, and closed the door of the laboratory behind me with what I intended as a polite smile If the man had honest intentions, why not send me a note in the first place instead of intruding in my laboratory the way he had? If Ricco Ermete is not dishonest he is very odd indeed. Oh reader, I count on your spirit of observation to discern the real facts from those weaved by my imagination, whenever this story will find its way to you!

I was disturbed by the bothersome encounter with the man, and yet determined not to let what happened divert my attention from the experiment I had planned for the day. After a thorough analysis of the laboratory to ensure that was missing, I arranged all the equipment required to subject to the proof of water the white powder serendipitously born from the encounter between mercury and hydrogen cyanide.

Recalling how hydrogen cyanide had nearly killed me by spreading its poisonous whiffs in the laboratory, I propped open a small window and set myself up for my chemical adventure. Pungent fingers of gelid air reached through the bars of the window, pressing their humid touch on my face.

Indifferent to their wicked caresses, I spread a small amount of my white precious powder to water, slowly and with loving care, and I trembled in tense expectation of the unexpected, of the unpredictable event that ignites the scientific minds! And I was rewarded! The white powder evolved into a Page 38 of 79

chameleon, into tongues the colour of fire, carmine and yellow and orange, and the tongues expanded, and the liquid bubbled into frenzied life! And when all the energy freed itself, spending itself into an acrid fume, the tongues turned from red to amethyst, then to a deep blue, and finally dissolved in diaphanous sapphire shades. My intellect could not as yet decipher the origin of the transformations and explain their meaning, and yet how profoundly delighted I was at the marvellous dance of the elements, at the symphony of their revolutions!

Having begun my work at such an early hour, it was only midday when I completed my experiments.

Although electrified by the spectacle I had assisted to and eager to subject the powder to the proof of air, I had nonetheless an undeniable appetite. I thus headed to a nearby tavern, marching happily in the air illuminated by the solar sphere. But at a turn I caught a glimpse of a woman and my breath stopped and my heart began pounding as an earthquake pounds, shattering the earth and all bodies within it.

Iryssa!, I thought, and madly hastened my pace to follow her. But as I took the turn the woman had taken I realized that I had been under the spell of a deceitful delusion, and that the woman was not Iryssa after all.

My soul turned blank and I suddenly felt lost amid the known street, as a man whose memory has failed him does not know how to orient his steps or recognize faces and places and objects he once held dear.

I walked and walked, oblivious of the meal I had longed for, desiring and fearing to see my read headed Iryssa. I walked till the dusk fell, moving in circles around her apothecary shop without daring to enter it, and finally I went home in the vain hope that she might have addressed me a note.

But there is not a line from Iryssa, not a word, just the scent of her memory, lingering within me as an ineffable perfume, tormenting every fiber of my wasted self.

Chapter 13: Iris Luna This morning I walked to the lab at 5 a.m. with a plan in mind and a number of experiments lined up for the day. When I entered it I was immersed in my own thoughts about the work to do, and at first I didn’t notice Otto’s presence. As I was about to hang my coat I caught sight of him and started, because I hadn’t expected to find him there at such an early hour. Otto was not exactly an early bird, and I never began work that early myself. But for some reason I woke up with a zest that outshined the doubts and anguishes that had shaded my mind in the last days. Otto seemed startled too, and in his alarmed reaction there was more than just surprise…perhaps you might think I imagine too much, and yet he was crouching in front of the fridge, holding my samples while reading some notes I had scribbled on loose papers and then copied on my notebook. I don’t think he could make much out of those papers without the rest of my annotations and the lab book I had in my bag, but he seemed to be trying very hard.

“Good morning”, I said Otto froze for a moment “Good morning, you are early today!”, he exclaimed, recovering from his stupor “So are you”, I replied dryly, “is there anything I can help you with?”

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Otto Hermes looked at me with simulated surprise, and I felt a surge of anger dwell within me. How can you be so shameless? I asked him in my mind. I had seen him snooping in my lab book before and I hadn’t given the fact much importance, but now wasn’t it obvious that he was trying to intrude in my work in shady ways?

“The notes you are reading and the samples you are holding are mine…or am I mistaken?”, I insisted, trying to keep my voice from shivering with anger And Otto grinned “Oh yes, I was curious to know what you had discovered. You were so excited the other day, I thought I’d check to see if you had figured out the composition of your molecule at last. Have you?”, he said I was stunned, either he was in good faith or he really had no shame!

“I was just curious…”, he iterated “I am still working on it”, I said “I hear you, answers never come easy, do they? Well, you’ll get there, I am sure”, Otto told me with the most supportive attitude he could feign What game is he playing?

“By the way, how was the rest of the evening yesterday? I am sorry I left abruptly, there was something I had completely forgotten about…”, Otto said apologetically “You are quite the mystery man”, I said ironically, my tone hard but my mind slipping in a direction I feared.

Cesare Mercurio, Cesar Mercury…who was the man? I was desperate to know and I was desperate to see him again. But why? Why? I was not the type of woman who lost her mind easily for someone, but this man…there was something more to this man than I could understand.

Otto Hermes laughed heartily, and, once again, his nonchalance confused me.

“I see you might want to start working, so I will leave you to your science”, he said, misinterpreting my expression “Yes…”, I said, lowering my eyes, abstracted in my thoughts Otto said something I cannot recall and left, wishing me good luck. Good luck…

I sat in the lab for a while, in a vain attempt to recollect myself and get to work. I opened the fridge to look at my samples, I read my lab book to regain my inspiration. But it was all vain. Try harder, I told myself. But no, it really was all vain.

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Suddenly I stood and grabbed my lab coat from the hanger with crazed frenzy. I packed my bag and walked out with hasty steps. I didn’t know where I was heading. I wasn’t going anywhere specific, I just walked. I walked in the dusky streets and when the rain begun to fall I walked nonetheless, and I walked when the thin drops grew and turned into an outburst of water, pure sorrow pouring from the sky. I walked in the mad hope of seeing Cesar Mercury at some corner, and I walked to smoulder my indomitable passions, without success. I roamed the city drenched to the bones, till the dusk that had welcomed my early awakening dawned into my evening. Then I dragged myself back to my attic, my feet aching, my body battered, my spirit exhausted and yet still in prey of uncontrollable convulsions.

And now here I am, my ears tense to detect any sign from the phone, tormented by the inane wish of a sign from this man who is so close and yet so far, as a melody resonating from a long gone past.

Chapter 14: Cesare Mercurio This morning I awoke to the rising day with a great tempest raging within me, my soul sloshed to and fro as a boat shaken by waves of love and hatred, desire and anger. The air was stiffened by a mordant cold, unusual even for this wintery season, and my skin froze as I opened the window to freshen my room and my mind. All the better, this bitterness of the elements serves me well!, I thought, deciding to take a long walk in the park and freeze the boiling in my blood. When I reached it I slowed my pace, and for the first time since I set foot outside I noticed the poetic flavour of this early morning. The brine had impearled the grass and the tress, which lay with immobile magical beauty, as the dusk lifted giving way to a diaphanous blue sky, cloudless. I lifted my head and for one perfect instant I felt whole, deeply fulfilled to be where I was. Indeed my feelings were feminine! Indeed they were! Do we man perhaps have two souls within us, one of which is active since our birth, while the other one has its manifestation in the woman we seek? Were my feminine feelings nothing but the anticipation, the signal, of the moment to come? Were they the vibrations emanating from the wondrous apparition waiting for me?

And when I lowered my gaze there she was, sitting on a bench, her hair falling on her back in curls of ebullient red. I was seeing only her back, but from her posture, immobile and composed, she seemed immersed in deep thoughts. As I saw Iryssa every organ within me immobilized for an instant, before melting, my joy exploding in all directions, my heart accelerating, my body sizzling with warmth and my mind throbbing with such intense happiness the tension was almost unbearable!

Iryssa, I whispered ever so lightly it was impossible to even the most sensitive ear to detect my voice.

And yet Iryssa turned towards me, because of the silent communication between our souls, as I can state with the certainty of a man of science! She smiled, and in that smile I could read that she had been waiting for me, knowing I would come. Iryssa, I said again, this time with an audible voice. She walked towards me and took me by the hand, as if it were natural to do so.

We walked awhile hand in hand with our heartbeats as sole words. I let Iryssa guide me, as a docile infant trusts his mother to lead him and lets his thoughts wander as playful confetti on a festive day. We reached a small lake, where swans sat, their sinuous necks tucked in the white softness of their plumage, and where the flexuous branches of naked willows dipped their tips in the frosty water. Iryssa

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stopped, embracing the view with a fond gaze. Then she turned to look at me, her eyes locked into mine. And I felt peaceful.

Time stretched endlessly. When a bird sang we awoke, and laughed in unison at our awakening. I approached Iryssa, slowly, not out of hesitation but because of the wish to extend the perfection of this instant beyond its time. Ah, what a delicate perfume Iryssa’a skin emanated! It was the perfume of spring, of gentle flowers and open meadows! And her lips! How marvellous was their sensuous softness, their warmth after the initial freshness, their tender flavour of honey and milk! In this kiss I reached perfection, the unity of my soul with its missing half. Iryssa and I were the Philosopher’s stone, the unsurpassed object of all quests.

Then Iryssa detached herself from me, and I was lost again.

“I shall leave now”, she said, then added, seeing my sadness, “We will always find each other, do not let your heart be anguished at this temporary departure” She smiled again, taking a small package from her pocket and handing it to me. I took it, my mind numb and my instinctive gests taking the lead where my thoughts failed. Iryssa nodded, as if approving my sensible behaviour, and walked away without turning.

I stood there with the package in my hand, and watched her silhouette turn distant and small, and finally disappear behind a group of trees. I suddenly realized it was bitterly cold, and I shivered in the white loneliness of the sad winter.

I opened the package. There was a flower in it, a pressed forget-me-not, blue even now that it had been dried. I smelled it, and I detected or imagined the notes of Iryssa’s perfume. I held the flower close to me, as tears rolled down my cheeks, shamelessly, as if my virile self was nothing but a ghost who had deserted my body.

A breath of wind spurred the dormant leaves lying on the ground and the branches of the trees, it rippled the surface of the lake and stirred my frozen mind. How could I find myself in such a state?

Should I not feel elated at the confirmation of Iryssa’s love for me? And shouldn’t the kiss I received fulfill me for life, even if it were the last one?

I tucked the package in my coat’s pocket. The laboratory, of course! That was the place to go, the trustworthy refuge for my mind and the panacea for my confounding passions! I thus headed there, riveted in an alternation of mirth and melancholy.

But alas! What is more painful than seeing one’s refuge profaned, not once but twice? This time, oh reader, there was no legitimate doubt about what I have seen! When I walked into the laboratory there he was, once again, the scoundrel! Ricco Ermete was holding samples in his hands and had one in his the pocket of his jacket! When he saw me he stopped short, not knowing what to do. This time his intent was as clear as the polar star in the night sky and even his evil tongue was incapable of sugary lies!

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“Return what you have taken, you ignorant half-man!”, I shouted, along with other epithets I cannot recall, bloated as I was by uncontrollable anger Ricco Ermete stood there, still and speechless.

“Have you heard my words or are your auditive organs as malfunctioning as your rotten mind?”, I insisted relentlessly Ricco Ermete placed the samples he was holding in his hands on the table.

“What do you have in your pocket? Do you believe I am blind?”, I said with vehemence Ricco Ermete produced the sample from his pocket.

“Do not move!”, I yelled, taking a walk stick that was resting on the table Ricco Ermes stood there helplessly, what a coward! I ran the stick along his body, moving his jacket away and checking for any samples he might have on him.

“I shall use this stick to avoid soiling my hands by coming in contact with you, infectious waste”, I explained icily This statement seemed to have some effect on the scoundrel, as he reacted at last and said, “You have grossly misinterpreted my actions” “Oh! Have I?”, I replied irately “Sir, I would have informed you about my presence in your laboratory and…”, he began “Enough! Enough!”, I roared, my voice shaking the walls as an unforgiving thunder “Leave, leave or I shall not be responsible for my actions!”, I yelled, brandishing the stick in my hands and pushing Ricco Ermete to the door He backed up sheepishly, but at a moment he glanced at me, as a perfidious viper looks at its victim, immobile and yet ready to deliver its poison.

I know this man will return, and you, oh wise reader, shall carry the memory of who this traitor is! I do not fear for myself, but for my science and for Iryssa. Alas, the thought of my precious creations falling in unworthy hands in unbearable for me! And Iryssa…she is aquatinted with this man and I shall warn her against him.

The apothecary shop was closed today and I roamed the streets in the futile attempt to find a trace of Iryssa. I looked in every corner where I thought she could be. Even though I am not acquainted with her habits in any way, I hoped I might retrieve her, led by the spiritual connection that had manifested itself in the park this morning. And yet my quest had no avail…

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I wrote these pages to leave a trace of the facts, but tomorrow I shall find Iryssa without hesitation! If she will ever be beguiled by this man, if she is ever harmed by him…ah, I shall find her tomorrow at all costs!

Chapter 15: Iris Luna My night was populated by dreams which blurred in my mind as soon as my eyes opened. But I do recall that Cesar Mercury was incessantly present in my night, inspiring longing, desire, and anger depending on the role he played. I woke up disquiet and haunted by my visions, cursing my febrile state of mind and the lack of control over myself. I hastily drank a cup of warm milk sweetened with honey and stepped out of my attic, determined to cleanse my thoughts with a brisk morning walk. I let my steps roam freely for a while, without any given destination, but when I approached the park I am most fond of in the city, I aimed at it with intent. It was pungently cold this morning, but instead of darkening I rejoiced in the immobile beauty of the frozen air. It rendered the atmosphere of the park magic, one could almost imagine that Sleeping Beauty was waiting in a nearby castle for her awakening. Everything was covered with a thin sheath of brine, but when I found a bench I sat on it, uncaring of the chilled moisture coating its surface. I sat there awhile, as a sense of inner peace spread within me.

The thought of Cesar Mercury still floated within me. The resentment I had felt earlier had disappeared, giving way to a warm sense of empathy for this man I barely knew and yet felt so close to me.

Then, Iris, I heard at my back. I wondered if I had imagined it, since my name had been whispered with the lightest voice. I turned around and saw him, Cesar Mercury! Iris, he called out again, this time with a louder voice. My happiness was too great for words, and so I took Cesar by the hand and led him to the lake, my lake, the soothing refuge I visited whenever I longed for moments of quiet meditation. And there, in front of that lake, his mouth sank into mine, salty and sensuously plump, as his spicy perfume danced in voluptuous whisks around our united selves. I felt whole as I never had before, and time and space lost meaning as our kiss stretched into infinity.

And then a bird sang.

We laughed at this delicate intrusion, but although delicate the bird’s voice delivered a painful thought.

It told me not to lose myself completely, not yet, to spare a part of me for myself and myself only, to learn who this man was one step at a time. But I know, I know! I protested silently, while detaching myself from Cesar.

The lost look on his face as I took a step back from him, oh, that look is an image I will never forget! How much I wanted to melt again in the embrace I just tore myself away from!

But I couldn’t.

“We will meet again. Do you still have my contact information?”, I asked, and then, without waiting for his answer I wrote it down again on a paper I found in my bag.

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An old paper decorated with forget me not flowers, and that once belonged to a collection of greeting cards. I wondered how it happened to be there…

Cesar’s gaze was veiled with melancholy, and I smiled encouragingly, although I was fighting myself with the sadness dwelling within me. Cesar took the card with automated gests, as if deprived of will. I nodded to brush away my own hesitation, then turned and walked away, before I lost my strength and will to do so.

As I walked away I suddenly begun to hate the cold, and I shivered, my mind disheveled and my soul lonely in the white paths of the park.

But why had I left? Perhaps out of fear for the intensity of my feelings, perhaps to test if Cesar loved me enough to seek me after I had gone?

My lunatic mind eludes me, and it is perhaps because of this, to hush the confusion within me, that I pursue the endless quest of the laws of nature, its order, its unconfutable logic. So yes, where else should I have gone if not in the lab, my temple and consolation, to chase away the blues with a good dose of healthy work? There is plenty to do with my Iryssa Celata, as with all newborn babies!

And yet what a bitter surprise I found in the lab instead of the sought peace of mind!

I slipped in the lab silently as I usually do, and because of the seamless lightness of my steps Otto Hermes didn’t hear me coming. He was taking my samples from the fridge and transferring small amounts of them into test tubes, which he then stuffed into his lab coat with the undeniable intention of stealing my material.

“What are you doing?”, I exclaimed, and Otto gasped, startled by my unexpected apparition “Oh hello…what do you mean?”, he mumbled “Well, I saw you take my samples”, I said flatly “Your samples?”, he replied laughing, regaining confidence “Yes, my samples. And there’s nothing to laugh at”, I insisted, my voice pitching up in angered notes “Hey hey…I’ve taken some of my own samples, what are you talking about?”, Otto pushed back “There are no samples belonging to you in that fridge”, I said “Are you sure?”, he said mockingly, brandishing a couple of bottles I had never seen before I was taken aback, because now I had no way of proving my argument, although you can be sure it was my sample he was taking. I am not easily fooled, because I know every detail of how my precious Iryssa Celata is stored and I would never confuse my bottles with somebody else’s bottles. This should be clear!

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“You are lying”, I retorted nonetheless “Look Iris, why would I take your samples? Perhaps you are just having a bad day, ehm?”, Otto said in a patronizing tone “Oh, at this point you can be sure I am having a bad day!”, I snapped “Right, you are. It happens. Why don’t we talk again in another moment?”, Otto continued, deliberately circumventing my anger, and walked past me before I could pronounce another word I was fuming with indignation, and for the whole afternoon I brooded on what had happened, and on how to prevent it from happening again, and on why Otto was stealing my material. After one tormented hour I took every sample I had and stuffed it in my bag. From now on I will keep all my samples in my fridge at home, even if I’ll risk poisoning myself! Of course there’s not much I can do about the fact that this plagiarizer has Iryssa Celata already, but at least if he wants more of it he has to be intelligent enough to synthesize it himself! I doubt he can though, that man is nothing but an idiotic loser.

Now I am in my attic, wishing I could tell Cesar how I felt about leaving him behind in the park and…and perhaps even tell him about my misadventures in the lab, if he cares to listen to my complains. But, as usual, I am sitting here alone wondering if Cesar will ever look for me again…no, no, I know he will! I know it with the blood in my veins, with my heart and irrational passion, I know that Cesar will forget me not.

Chapter 16: Cesar Mercury I woke up well before dawn, determined to find a solution to the intrusions of that scoundrel, Ricco Ermete, and to inform my Iryssa of his dishonourable manipulations. A carriage would been of great use to reach the smith’s shop in the briefest time possible, but of course at this hour looking for a carriage was as useless as trying to find a needle in a haystack.

I thus walked hastily, and I would have run if that had not made me appear as a sinister fugitive, and finally I reached the smith’s shop. I knew he would not be at work so early, but his shop was connected to the humble abode where he lived, and I gave three loud knocks on the door to make sure he heard.

For a while he did not open, and so I knocked again, tapping my feet impatiently on the frozen pavement. This time the smith came at the door, manifesting his presence with an angry grumble.

“Who is it at this time? This is the smith’s shop, not an asylum for insane somnambulists!”, he spoke loudly “Sir, I apologize for awakening you at this early hour. This is Cesar Mercury, and my rooms have been broken into. I thus need your urgent help to prevent further intrusions”, I replied as humbly as my nature would allow me to

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The door opened. It was dark inside the shop and the smith’s face, unshaved and capped by flocks of hair disheveled by the night’s sleep, had a ghostly appearance behind the shivering flame of the candle.

“I regret the accident sir, but you could have nonetheless waited till a more civil hour before knocking at my door”, the smith said, still irritated but starting to soften.

“I apologize”, I repeated “Well, since I am awake I might as well get my day started”, the man said “I have to run some urgent errands, but I can leave you the address and the keys, and you could perhaps take care of this business for me”, I proposed, in a hurry to look for Iryssa “The keys? Didn’t you just say that your rooms were broken into?”, the smith objected with a bewildered expression “The scoundrel who breaks in the place picks the lock without breaking it, he comes and goes as he pleases as if he had the keys”, I explained The smith studied me oddly, as if pondering if I was not truly mad after all.

“I need a new lock, a sturdy one, an unbreakable one”, I said, interrupting his unspoken thoughts, handing him a bagful of coins well more generous than needed.

The smith took it, weighting the sum with a growingly perplexed expression.

“You do not need to pay me the full amount now”, he replied “I much appreciate your honesty, and this is why I wish you to have the full amount now. But please build me the best lock you can make, and go to the address I gave you as soon as humanly possible”, insisted “Well sir, at your service. I will get dressed, because as you understand I was still in bed when you called on me, and I will begin working on your lock. I shall complete the task as early as noon”, the smith said, taking a step back to indicate that, as far as he was concerned, our deal was concluded “I will come back here to have the key”, I added “Oh yes, of course”, the smith said nodding I nodded back, thanked him and left with hasty steps, feeling the eyes of the smith observe me as I walked away It was still early for the apothecary shop to be open, but I decided to head towards it and wait in a corner close-by, from where I could observe the door unseen and hopefully meet Iryssa there alone, without the presence of her uncle or, worse still, of Ricco Ermete.

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The circumstances happened to be on my side, somehow compensating me for the anguished turmoil of the previous days. I was not very far from the smith’s shop when I noticed a capped figure which, because of the supple graciousness of the movements, could only belong to a young woman. I wondered what a girl could do alone at this hour of the day, when a red lock of hair slipped out the vest’s hat. My heart began racing and I hastened my steps, wishing to see the girl’s traits with clarity before she took a turn or stepped in any door. As I did so Iryssa perceived my presence and turned, gasping with surprise when her eyes met mine.

“Ah!”, she exclaimed, and was probably about to add something when I interrupted her “I was looking for you, I had in mind to come look for you at the apothecary shop…”, I began, before Iryssa interrupted my sentence “At this hour?!”, she asked stunned “Yes, yes, because I what I need to tell you is of the greatest importance”, I explained Iryssa rounded her eyes and arched her brows in surprise “Yes, of the greatest importance. The reason for which I am here is that I just called the smith to have him change the lock on my laboratory’s door and place on it the strongest one he can make. I will proceed to explain the cause for such extreme measures and my haste in obtaining a replacement for my lock, but I would wish to ask first…”, I was saying “Why I am here”, Iryssa concluded for me “Yes, why you are here, if I may ask”, I confirmed, almost startled by her boldness and intuition “I am here because one of our best clients has fallen sick and sent his servant to ask for the same remedy I had prepared for his wife in the past, since the medicine had cured her so well. After I prepared the drug my uncle was hesitant to send me out with the dark. However he himself is ill, and I refused to let him get out of bed. So here I am, and here you are, hopefully satisfied with my explanation”, Iryssa concluded with a mocking smile painted on her face “Certainly, I…I am certainly glad I found you, and perhaps I can walk with you awhile?”, I proposed shyly “If you have the time to walk all the way to the shop I will prepare one of my morning infuses for you, since I doubt you had any food or drink since you woke this morning”, Iryssa told me, her smile motherly now, with only the slightest fleck of mockery “Thank you, I would be delighted to”, I accepted, touched, once more, by the sharpness of her intuition, then added, almost abruptly, “As I was telling you I am changing the laboratory’s lock because Ricco Ermete broke in not once, but twice” “Ricco Ermete? Are you sure you are not mistaken about the person’s identity?”, Iryssa exclaimed, stopping short and facing me with an astounded expression Page 48 of 79

“Unfortunately I am not mistaken Iryssa, since I even spoke to Ricco Ermete during both occasions”, I began Iryssa was about to interrupt me, but I raised my hand for her to listen “Let me explain. The first time I found him in my laboratory, and I asked irritably how he could enter my lab, and why he was there. He contended that the door was unlocked, and that he had entered supposing I was there. I felt some suspicion, but gave the man the benefit of the doubt. Yesterday I found the scoundrel in the laboratory again, and this time he got caught like a kid with his hands in the jam”, I said “Truly?”, Iryssa asked “Yes, his hands were full with my samples, and he had even stuffed samples in his pockets! How outrageous! Would you believe me if I told you that he insisted I was distorting his meaning and that his intention was not dishonorable as I thought?”, I raged “I am surprised by what I am hearing. I have known Ricco for about one year now, he is a fairly quiet man who never shared much about his life, but never gave me any reason to doubt about his honesty either”, Iryssa said, eyes lowered, almost talking to herself “I regret to give your grief, I know Ricco Ermete works with you and now you are finding yourself in an uncomfortable position”, I said apologetically “But you should beware of him, and may I suggest that you speak with your uncle because it is not safe for either of you to have that scoundrel around, let alone to work elbow to elbow with him”, I continued, my tone more confident now, determined as I was to protect Iryssa “I will ask Ricco to explain…”, Iryssa began “But of course he will deny the facts, and when he’ll know you are aware of his misconduct he might turn into a greater peril than he is now”, I objected “I might seem like a frail woman to you, but there is more strength in me than you expect”, Iryssa replied, her eyes looking straight into mine, with an almost defiant assurance “I trust you Iryssa, but remember how treacherous the man is!”, I insisted, not wanting to offend Iryssa’s pride and yet fearing for her “Every man and woman can be treacherous”, she said enigmatically, then seemed surprised at her own words, as if not she, but someone else, had spoken them I felt as if I had been hit by an unbearable blow, and I perceived a piercing pain that was almost physical.

Iryssa saw the sadness of my wounded soul, and said, “Oh ignore what I just said, I myself don’t know what I meant…”, but as she spoke she appeared saddened herself by some sort of sudden realization

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“Why don’t we just head towards the shop for that warm morning infuse”, she then continued, her tone cheerful and oblivious of the pervious moment. I was confounded by the swift change, but nonetheless gladdened by the mirthful turn in the conversation.

At last I was not able to receive my infuse though, because when we reached the shop Iryssa’s uncle was up from bed, grinding some herbs while still wearing his nightgown. We spotted his presence in the dimly lit shop from a distance, so Iryssa and I parted with the promise of seeing each other tomorrow.

“Tomorrow I will have few guests for dinner. These men belong to the exiguous group of illuminated souls elated by science, and they would be honoured by your company if you accept to join”, I said “I will be enchanted”, she accepted, with an élan in her tone I did not expect “I will send a carriage for you”, I said “I have your address and I know my way”, she replied firmly, with a sweet smile painted on her blossom lips I opened my arms in surrender, and she giggled, for the first time since we had met, walking away as a carefree kid.

Chapter 17: Iris Luna Indeed I was very much right, Cesar did not forget me! And today I spoke to him, and told him what was troubling my mind, as I had desired to do just a night ago, wondering when and if it I would see him again…

I am running ahead of myself though, so let me tell you the facts in an orderly fashion. Although some of them confound me, I will do my best to describe to give you an understandable account of my day.

I brought the bottles containing my Iryssa Celata from my fridge at home to the lab, where I spent the whole day working at a steady pace, trying to keep away the frustrating thoughts of what had occurred yesterday. I ran analyses indefatigably, driven by the tingling feeling that I was getting one step closer to unveiling the real nature of my creature, and by now I am almost sure I finally pinned down its structure! It is so beautiful and unique!

When I felt my legs ache and my mind vacillate I interrupted my work, and decided to go to the library on my way back home. The previous times I had walked in it almost in spite of myself, animated by a disquieting anxiousness I could not explain, but today it was not so. In hindsight, I wonder if I somehow perceived what was waiting for me there…

So, as I was telling you, I walked in the library in a feverish state, mostly joyful with just a note of darkness. I immediately headed towards the rare book collection, and found the book, my book, without any hesitation. It opened on the last page where I had left it, as if remembering me, the way it always did.

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The name of Cesare Mercurio, which I have yet recalled, cannot go unmentioned here!

This great man of science has been the first discoverer of one of the major properties of mercury cyanides, as revealed by the proof of fire and gold. Golden flames had never before been reaveal the nature of mercury cyanides, and only a mind as ingenious as that of Cesare Mercurio could envision the illuminating experiment we shall describe shortly.

And yet, prior to the commencement of our description, we sadly linger on the thought of how light and dark, elation and tragedy can never part for too long in this gruesome world.

Oh reader, does your intuition foresee some of the reasons for which the name of Cesare Mercurio was obscure to you before you read these pages? And can you imagine why, if ever his name brushed your gaze for a short moment, it did not appear to you as a memorable one? Oh reader, shall this belated recognition of the crime that lead to his obscurity be a small amend to the offense brought to this outstanding scientist! Cesare’s Mercurio discoveries have been unjustly stolen by a dishonest man, a fake scientist, a shame to the community of worthy chemists! The name of this traitor, do not forget, is “You are working yourself too hard, reading this ancient book at this late hour, after spending the whole day working in the laboratory, as I imagine you did”, I heard Cesar say, as he snapped the book closed with surprising swiftness “Cesar! But I was in the middle…”, I started saying, my joy in seeing Cesar as uncontainable as my curiosity for the sentence his arrival had truncated “I have a feeling that we left our previous encounter in mid-air”, Cesare said with a provoking smile, moving the book away from me and pressing on it with his elegantly elongated fingers I blushed, unable to reply “Have you ever been told that taking a good walk after a long day of work is a healthy choice?”, Cesare asked, the plain words spiced with a tone full of intention “I have, and I accept the invitation, if you were making one”, I replied, my tone at once flirtatious and appropriate I wrapped up my belongings and, while I was busy getting ready, Cesar took away the book and placed it on the shelf in the exact spot where it belonged, as I noticed with surprise.

“Have you read the book before?”, I asked when he walked back to my table “Why do you imagine so?”, he replied, and then, without waiting for my answer, he lead me to the door, gallantly placing his palm behind my back, and guiding my steps with the slightest pressure of his hand.

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When we left the library we walked awhile in silence, side by side without any physical contact, and my thoughts slipped back to what had happened in the laboratory. Then I noticed that Cesare was observing me with the corner of his eye, and I wondered for how long I had been floundering in my own thoughts.

“Tomorrow I am inviting few friends to have dinner at my place, they are scientists, interesting fellows. I believe you could enjoy their company”, Cesare said abruptly, “and mine, I hope”, he added with a sly smile “I will be enchanted”, I said, the strange expression coming to my lips for reasons I could not define “You will be enchanted…you said so last time”, Cesar replied pensively, almost in a whisper, addressing me and yet talking to himself “Which time are you referring to?”, I asked, confused and intrigued by his ways “I think you used this expression before”, Cesar replied, his tone casual now “Am I wrong or is something worrying you?”, he then continued, abruptly changing the subject “Oh I am sorry, it is true that something crossed my mind few moments ago but I don’t want to think about it now that I am with you”, I said, flattered by his attentions.

I had desired so much to talk to Cesar about what had happened with Otto Hermes, but now I could not get myself to do so.

“You haven’t known me from a long time, an yet aren’t there people who you trust from the start, without being able to define why?”, Cesar said calmly, without resentment “Oh, but it is not lack of trust…”, I began “Let me bring you somewhere”, Cesar interrupted me, as if the previous object of our conversation was suddenly irrelevant “Where?”, I asked intrigued “Wait and see, if you trust me”, Cesar laughed I was silent for a moment.

“I cannot explain why, but I sense that by telling you about what happened to me today I will trigger something…something dreadful…”, I said abruptly, suddenly realizing my fears “Something dreadful?”, Cesar asked, arching his long black brows in surprise “Yes…” “And yet you want to tell me”, Cesar concluded Page 52 of 79

“How can you tell?”, I asked, startled by his acumen He smiled enigmatically without saying a word.

“How can you tell?”, I iterated, and then, surrendering, I told him about Otto Hermes, about his odd behaviour and the samples he was stealing, I showed him the bottles I was carrying in my purse and explained all I knew about Iryssa Celata.

Cesar listened without interrupting me, just nodding every now and then, and when I finally finished he frowned, as if pondering the facts.

“So what do you think?”, I finally asked Cesar was silent for a moment.

“I think you must be careful”, he said at last “But don’t you believe I can be mistaken in my interpretation of the facts?”, I asked, hoping for the illogical answer I knew he would not give me “If he was pocketing your samples, how could you be wrong about the fact that he meant to steal them?”, Cesar objected “Certainly he wanted to take them, but perhaps his aim is not to steal my work and use my results as if they were his… my supervisor knows what I have been working on anyways. How can Otto really sell my science as if it was his?”, I reasoned “I cannot tell you what your colleague has in mind, but is obvious is that his behaviour is suspicious.

Caution is all I am advising”, Cesar said in a plain, reasonable tone that one could not argue against “What do you mean in practice with caution? What should I do?”, I asked, surrendering “Bring your samples and notebook with you at all times, do not leave them in the lab unless you are there. Keep your eyes open and try not to stay around the lab alone at night” “You think Otto could physically harm me?”, I exclaimed startled, the thought occurring to me for the first time “Maybe, or maybe not. He could certainly make you very uncomfortable by confronting you when there’s nobody else around”, Cesar said “Confront me?”

“Confront you verbally, or hold conversations that it would be best for you not to hear. Be careful, that’s all”, Cesar said, in a conclusive tone that told me he had said all he wanted to say and did not want to continue discussing this matter for the time being.

I nodded, and walked for a while with my head bowed, till Cesar stroked my hand and I raised my eyes.

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“Look”, he told me, stopping in front of a shop “The Main Apothecary” read the sign, written in fading letters. I stared at it, pondering how old it could be, and at the same time feeling a pang of pain within me as if I was observing an object from my childhood, now consumed by time, its scars marking my soul. Then I looked inside. There was an old man in there, bent over the counter grinding what I thought were herbs, keeping a candle beside him. I couldn’t see his face, but the mortar and pestle he was using and the candle were oddly familiar. Then I observed the shelves and the jars on them, and I can swear I had been there before.

“I know this place…”, I whispered “Do you? Did you ever buy anything here? I never found it open. I am not generally one who buys herbal products, but I love the place”, Cesar said smiling I felt tears rolling down my eyes.

“Iris…”, Cesar said, looking at me with surprised tenderness and concern My throat felt tight, and I swallowed down my tears unable to speak “Why are you crying?”, he asked, wiping my face with his light long fingers “I…I don’t know”, I said at last The man in the shop raised his face. He stared at me, bugging his eyes in the effort to make out my features. Then I saw a flash of recognition on his face, or so I thought, but before I could do anything he walked on the back of the store as if trying to hide the same emotions that were overwhelming me.

“This man knows me…”, I said, “did you see?”

“What man, Iris?”, Cesar asked “The one that was behind the counter”, I replied, not understanding why Cesar was asking “But there’s nobody behind the counter. The store is closed”, Cesar objected, looking at me oddly “Of course there is nobody now, but there was someone”, I insisted, a hiccup of anger peaking within me “Iris, there was nobody at the counter and there is nobody now”, Cesar said calmly I felt my balance vacillate.

“Let me bring you home now”, Cesar said, “we’ll have more time together tomorrow. You will not forget the dinner at my place, right?”

“I will not”, I confirmed faintly

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After I reached my attic I hid in bed without even having dinner, and I am writing these pages in bed now, afraid of myself, of my unstable mind, of everything around me. Or perhaps there is nothing to be afraid of, because all of this is nothing but a dream, a psychedelic adventure. What is happening to me? I hope the night will be short, now I hate the game of shadows and suffused shapes that animate the dark hours. I shall never go to the apothecary shop again. But why did Cesar close the book I was reading today? Can I trust him? Can I trust myself? Oh reader, sometimes I long for darkness and silence, as full and immense as death, so that the turmoil within in me can cease for once and for all.

Chapter 18: Cesare Mercurio Today I walked to the laboratory with renewed excitement, brightened by the prospect of new discoveries and of dining with my red haired beautiful obsession. Animated by this sanguine disposition, I organized all the necessary equipment to shed light on the nature of the white powder into which my mercury had transformed itself upon contact with droplets of hydrogen cyanide.

I arranged a series of substances on the bench, each of which I had chosen for their distinctive properties. There were the oils, ranging from those having neutral nature, to the lenitive ones and to those that were aromatic and pungent to the skin. There were watery solutions of salts, there were acidic concoctions and their counterparts, caustic compositions that could quell their mordent asperity.

And finally there were the spirits, liquids igniting fire into men’s chest when swallowed and yet as airy as evanescent breeze when left in open bottles. My white powder remained passive to the oils, and to the spirits and to all the watery concoctions but one.

It was the caustic solution of a salt collected in the deepest caves of Gallia that triggered the transformation of my white powder. For the first instants I sprinkled the powder in the salt solution it dissolved completely, leaving the liquid uncoloured. And yet, knowing that patience is the virtue of the strong, I waited. Surely enough my determined perseverance was rewarded! After two times the sand in the hourglass consumed itself in a filament of powdery time, the solution transformed itself, turning flaky and dark. The rays of the sun were falling through the window, illuminating the jar and the flakes twirling within it. The dancing flocks grew larger in time, and finally settled on the bottom of the jar, forming a myriad of black aculei, their appearance as malevolent as the spell of a sorceress!

By the time I finished annotating my observations the sun was melting away and a semi-obscurity slowly flooded the corners of my laboratory. Satisfied by the day, I headed towards my house to receive my guest and my wonderful Iryssa.

When I reached home I found the table garnished with care and the dinner dishes waiting in the kitchen.

The motherly benefactor was the lady who takes care of the cleanliness of my rooms and sometimes leaves me a meal, out of compassion for my solitary demeanor.

I was still in the process of admiring what my maid had done when I heard a loud knock on the door. It was not the type of knock I expected from any of my guests, and I headed to the door irritated at the thought that somebody was about to spoil my reception.

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“Who is this?”, I thundered sternly “Sir, I am the servant of Sir Ignatius Irons. A great disaster has fallen upon us, please open the door, in the name of God!”, a pleading voice begged I opened the lock hastily, expecting grievous news and yet still ignorant of the entity of the tragedy I was about to hear.

“My master is dead and Sir Humphrey is also”, the servant said, panting and with frenzied eyes staring from his terrified face “What happened? Speak without hesitation!”, I ordered, shaking the poor shivering man, prey myself of uncontrolled fear “We went to Sir Humphrey’s house, since my master and Sir Humphrey had agreed to ride the same carriage to your house, as you might already know. Sir Humphrey’s house on the way from…”, he started “Yes, of course. Now tell me what happened”, I interrupted “Our carriage was assaulted. It was only one man…”, he began and stopped “The assaulter was alone, and he was able to kill two men while you stood there watching?”, I shrieked in incredulity “He came out of nowhere sir. He jumped on the carriage and sliced my master’s and Sir Humphrey’s throat before I has the time to take action”, the servant replied apologetically “Just for a bunch of coins, I suppose”, I mumbled grasping my head in despair, “Such great minds destroyed for greedy stupidity” “No sir, nothing was taken but the men’s lives”, the servant said, shaking his head in bewildered desolation “Why were they murdered then?”, I asked astonished “I wouldn’t know, sir”, the servant replied, opening his arms I cannot say but it occurred to me that I had an enemy and that the murderer’s plan was to get to me by killing my friends. Iryssa, where are you?, I thought all of a sudden, and a cold shiver ran through my spine.

“How did the man look like?”, I pressed “He was wearing a mask…”, said the servant “But was he tall or short, slim or stocky, and what type of clothing was he wearing?”, I insisted “He was dressed in black, and he was of average build…”, the servant told me hesitantly Page 56 of 79

“Nothing more?”, I asked, irritated by having nothing but few fragments of information “It all happened so fast”, the servant defended himself, opening his arms in desolation “I trust the authorities are hunting down the scoundrel now”, I said “When the crime happened a crowd gathered. A strange man with a German accent pulled me by the arm- that’s why I remember him – he pulled me by the arm and asked me if the men were dead. When I nodded yes, still too shocked to speak, he walked away without proffering a single word. He did not seem like the typical nosey person who craves to see blood, and yet he was not there to help either…”, the servant remembered, shaking his head at the oddity of the man’s behaviour.

Ricco Ermete, I thought.

“A man with a German accent, you said?”, I inquired “Yes. He was not a tall man, but he was robust, with dark hair and blue eyes, strangely cold, almost expressionless”, the servant told me, this time with enough detail on the man’s appearance to confirm that my suspicions were not unfounded Was Ricco Ermete involved in the crime?

“Come with me!” We need to protect a woman who might be in danger of life!”, I ordered “What…”, the servant started to mumble “Do you still have the carriage?”, I interrupted “Yes, it is waiting outside”, he confirmed I gave the servant the address of the apothecary shop.

“Go to this place and find a woman named Iryssa, I will wait here in case she is already on her way to my home”, I said As the servant opened the door Iryssa’s figure appeared, her hand raised and ready to knock, her eyes rounded in surprise as the door opened “Oh!”, she exclaimed “Iryssa, oh Iryssa!”, I exclaimed in return, my eyes filling with tears of relief and joy The scene was certainly not a display of manly strength, but how could it matter when Iryssa was safe and sound?

“Iryssa”, I repeated in a whisper “If you will excuse me…”, the servant said, disappearing with a bow Page 57 of 79

“What is the cause for your distress?”, Iryssa asked, with a sweet smile and a confounded frown “Iryssa, I fear you are in danger”, I said, grasping her shoulders She shook her head as one does when talking to a kid “I was a few instant late perhaps, and I apologize for the delay, but why be so alerted?”, she replied calmly “I fear that Ricco Ermete is involved in the murder of my friends. They have been killed, Iryssa, and the servant said that a man with a German accent and of appearance in all ways similar to that of Ricco Ermete was there, right where they have been attacked. He inquired if the men were dead, and turned away calmly once he learned that the terrible deed was accomplished. Did he hire a killer, I wonder?”, I said, speaking frantically “Where and when did all this happen?”, Iryssa asked, paling “My friends were riding a carriage to reach me when they were murdered”, I began, then gave Iryssa the few details I have learned from the servant Iryssa remained silent for a while, her mind stirred with wuthering thoughts “But please come in”, I said, shamefaced at the sudden realization that I had kept her at the entrance, confounded as I was by the mayhem within me Iryssa stepped in, embracing the space with curious glances, forgetful for one brief moment of the grievous circumstances. But then the anxiousness gripped her, and she grasped onto her purse with tense fingers.

“I greatly regret that my account disturbed you, Iryssa. I have dinner ready, please make yourself at home. Here, let me take your coat”, I told Iryssa, slightly shivering with shyness as I slipped it off her delicate shoulders “There is something I must show you”, Iryssa said abruptly, interrupting my brief reverie “What is it?”, I asked, tensing in response to the tenseness in Iryssa’s voice Iryssa opened the purse she had been clutching and produced a bundle of notes.

“Ricco Ermete accidentally dropped these papers today”, she said handing me the notes.

I took them and began reading.

“It is so odd that he dated them April 15, 1966, isn’t it?”, she observed I continued reading, leaving her question unanswered.

“You never revealed to him any details about your science”, Iryssa spoke again, and paused Page 58 of 79

“And yet I wonder…I wonder if these notes have anything to do with his presence in your laboratory. I have the feeling they do, although I cannot explain why”, she continued I kept reading the notes, growing more and more incredulous as I did so.

“This is the exact description of the experiments I conducted today!”, I finally exclaimed, outraged “The exact description!”, I repeated Iryssa looked at me with shocked horror.

“And you are right about the date, Iryssa, this donkey knows how to steal a scientist’s discoveries but he ignored which century we are in!”, I almost shouted, slamming the notes against my leg in frustration Iryssa looked at me in silence, and I blushed with shame at my behaviour.

“Oh Iryssa! Please accept my apologies for this indecent outburst”, I begged her “You must not apologize, I understand your distress”, Iryssa said softly “Will you have some rest and food with me?”, I asked “Of course, Cesare”, she smiled sweetly, as if all troubles had disappeared But our meal was drenched in sadness, and it was in sadness that we parted. We exchanged promises of meeting again in the next days, and yet those promises were mirthless, darkened as they were by black clouds menacing further griefs.

Chapter 19 - Iris Today I left the lab in an exhilarating mood, but my enthusiasm deflated when I discovered that my Iryssa Celata is not mine after all. I feel so lost tonight, now that I know that someone else before me already discovered what I have searched for so long, what I perceived as the essential manifestation of my abilities! But I am running ahead of the chronological order in which I want to describe the events to you…

When I finished my work in the lab I checked the clock. I had about one hour before dinner with Cesar, just enough time to go to the library. I ran towards it taken by a great urge to retrieve the book. The last time I was in the library Cesar had closed the book abruptly when I was in the middle of a crucial sentence, almost as if he hadn’t wanted me to read further, and my curiosity was now tingling. When I entered the library’s door I immediately sensed that there was something different about it, something I couldn’t quite pin down, and without being able to tell why, I was at once relieved and disturbed, glad and disappointed. I walked down the stairs leading to the rare book section and went straight to the shelf where my book was supposed to be. It was not there, and yet shelf was tightly packed, there was no room for another book…how could this be if my book had been taken? Was my memory betraying me about its location? I looked in all the other shelves frantically, with no success. I looked in the inventory: if it had been moved perhaps I could find its location this way. But the title of my book was Page 59 of 79

not in the inventory! I was going through the inventory’s cards all over again when a librarian approached me from the back.

“Are you finding everything all right?”, she asked, and I started, because I hadn’t noticed her presence.

“No”, I said, “no, I cannot find my book” My voice resounded oddly in my ears, as if it were avulsed from reality “If you give me the title you are looking for I might be able to help you”, she replied calmly I gave her the title “Ehm”, she replied dubiously, “I know almost all the titles in here but this one…I don’t seem to remember it” A panicked look must have crossed my face, because she immediately added, “Oh, but it wouldn’t be the first thing I forget. Let’s have a second look in the inventory” She scrolled thought the cards, a frown appearing when all the cards has slipped through her fingers.

“Are you sure about the title?”, she asked “Yes…”, I said faintly Then, without waiting for her answer, I started to run, blindly almost, feeling reality dissolve into filaments of smoke, my reason waver.

I ran and ran, till I hit a red traffic light, and there I saw the oddest and most terrifying scene. A masked man on a bike approached a car, opened the door and shot the driver in cold blood. Nobody was there, and when he biked away I was not sure myself of what I had seen. But then the driver fell head down on the steering wheel and by the time I approached the car rivulets of blood were pouring from his mouth.

I should have called for help, but was I did instead was run – faster than before – run away as fast as I could.

I reached Cesar’s house with large advance, grasping for breath, and rang the bell repeatedly, ready to start running again if he hadn’t opened the door immediately. But he did.

“Come on in”, he said, as he stood beside the propped door with a slightly stupefied expression “What happened?”, he then asked, his gaze piercing me relentlessly I told him about the man in the street, and he shook his head in desolation “Ah yes…I know”, he said “What do you mean?”, I asked, but instead of answering he wrapped his arms around me

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“And my book went missing from the library”, I continued, pulling back to look at Cesar’s face as I spoke “Which book?”, he asked, arching his brows “Do you remember the one I was reading in the library, in the rare book section, when we met?”, I explained “Well, I remember that one day we met at the library but you weren’t reading, you were just sitting at the table with an intense expression on your face. When you realized I was there and raised your eyes you seemed tired, so I told you to take it easy and dragged you out to get some fresh air”, he answered “No, I was reading!”, I screamed “Sure, perhaps you were”, Cesar replied calmly “I was reading and you closed my book!”, I insisted “You know that I have dinner waiting for us in the oven?”, Cesare told me smiling, as if the previous part of the conversation had not taken place at all “I am so sorry”, I apologized, returning his previous embrace, “I am so shaken, you know” “You don’t need to justify yourself, everything is just fine”, Cesar replied in a reassuring tone We ate with few exchanges of words and the silence, the dimly lit rooms, the fading buzzes from the street gradually permeated me with a peaceful comfort.

But then Cesar spoke.

“You know that I found a paper that I think might be useful for your research?”, he dropped casually I was surprised, because I had never gone into much detail about my research when speaking with Cesar.

“Oh, I sure don’t know much about your research”, he continued, as if reading my thoughts, “but I recall you mentioned having an interest in mercury cyanides and having synthesized a novel cyanogenic glycoside” “Here, have a look”, he said, picking up the paper from a pile sitting at the corner of the table and handing it to me.

The first detail I noticed was the date. Today is April 15, 1966 and that was the date on the paper was Aril 15, 1866, one hundred years apart exactly from today. The print was new, and the date could only be a mistake, but it still stroke me as a curious coincidence.

“Look at the date!”, I laughed, “These guys certainly know something about time travelling” Cesare smiled, but his smile was mirthless.

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I began to read, and the more I read the darker my mood became.

“This paper describes exactly what I found today. Exactly”, I said, disheartened “Who’s the author?”, I then wondered out loud I looked at the first page “Ricco Ermete…I never heard of him before. Anyways, I can forget about all I’ve been working on, since clearly it is well known and even published. I am stunned though, the perfect overlap is striking…how can two different minds proceed exactly the same way?”, I said “Isn’t Ricco Ermete your colleague’s name?”, Cesar asked, as if suddenly remembering “No…you might be thinking of Otto Hermes”, I said “What an odd coincidence!”, Cesar exclaimed, “Do you know that Ricco means rich in Italian the same way Otto means rich in German?”

There was a peak in Cesar’s tone I couldn’t interpret.

I shrugged, indifferent to everything now that my world had crumbled, now that I had lost ownership of my best creation.

“Don’t be disappointed Iris, there are so many other discoveries waiting for you”, Cesar told me when he saw my battered look, tending his open arms towards me.

“Thank you for the encouragement…really. I think I should go home now”, I replied with a forced smile, retreating.

“Already? Can I at least walk with you for a while?”, Cesar asked, a sad wave rising within him “No…no. I will call you”, I replied, and left hastily, running towards my empty attic the same way I had ran towards Cesar’s place.

Chapter 20 –Cesare Mercurio Still shattered by the funereal atmosphere of yesterday night, after a hasty breakfast I headed to the apothecary shop to find Iryssa, fearful as I was that she might be in danger. She saw me from the window and signalled me not to step in the shop, and to wait outside for a moment. I nodded my assent, and stood in the fine mist drizzling from the grey heavens, impatiently waiting for my woman to meet me.

After a time that seemed endless Iryssa walked towards me.

“I did not expect you this morning, Cesare”, she said

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“Oh Iryssa, but why? I was so anguished when we parted yesterday night, I needed to see with my own eyes that you were safe”, I replied, almost pleadingly “You must not worry about me, take care of yourself rather”, Iryssa said, with an unusual coolness in her voice “Your well-being is more important than my…”, I started, but Iryssa interrupted my sentence “Oh please!”, she exclaimed, “please take good care of yourself! And now I shall apologize, but I must return to the shop. My uncle is waiting for me”, she said I felt hurt and confused, but my inexcusable conduct the day before had to be punished, of course! I deserved this coolness!

“I am very much aware that yesterday…”, I started “Don’t say a word, please”, Iryssa interrupted me again, pressing her hand against my arm and then retreating it as if she had been burned. And after this gest, so painful for me to bear, she left with hasty steps, abandoning me in the mirthless morning, with a heart full of doubts, fears and sorrow.

Chapter 21 - Iris This morning I woke up with a lack of purpose and angry feelings, after the discoveries of the previous night. Now that I had learned that the molecule I thought I thought could be named after me was not mine at all I felt compelled to wipe away everything I had built and start all over again. And yet it seemed much easier to destroy what I had than to plan the reconstruction. If I gave up being a scientist what else could I become? I hated Cesar Mercury for what he showed me! He hadn’t deliberately wronged me, but that was no matter – he had laid my failure plain in front of me, regardless of what his intentions were. How did he dare try to encourage me after what he had done? As if I were a fool and didn’t understand that nothing makes sense anymore!

I was immersed in this state of mind and I was getting ready to go to the lab to dispose of all my samples, when the phone rang.

“Iris…”, the voice on the other end said, and paused “Has something happened?”, I asked, surprised by the sadness in Cesar’s tone “Yesterday…”, he began, and hesitated again “Yes?”, I asked, waiting for him to continue “Yesterday you lost all your faith in your work, and in yourself too, I saw it”, Cesar said at last Of course I had! I didn’t reply and waited for him to conclude his thought “Will you come to dinner at my place tonight?”, he asked, “To make up for yesterday…”

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His tone was apologetic.

I was silent for a moment. I didn’t want to see Cesar or anybody else, but then I gave in and accepted the invitation.

“Thank you”, Cesar replied, with a tense gratitude in his tone that to me seemed excessive for the little condescendence I had shown. His transport irritated me. I felt numb and unable to empathize.

So here I am now, rushing my writing because I want to tell you about the events of the day, but I don’t have much time since I will have to get ready and see Cesar in a short while.

After I hang up on Cesar this morning I hastily left for the lab, where I ruthlessly engaged in destroying each sample and all material evidence of my failure. I was pouring the content of a bottle in the waste container when I noticed that Otto Hermes was standing on the door of the lab, with a startled look on his face.

“Good morning”, I said dryly, without interrupting my task He didn’t speak or move for a moment, and continued staring at me with rounded eyes. I carried on as if he weren’t there, too angered and disappointed for social niceties.

“Iris, please stop this”, he said at last “Why? So that you can have more samples to steal from me? For your information, they aren’t any good”, I snapped bitterly “I wasn’t stealing your samples…”, he replied, producing from his bag some of the bottles he had previously taken from me and placing them on the counter I laughed with abrasive irony.

“You do not understand. It does not matter that you have any of my samples, my samples are waste”, I said “Let me explain, Iris…here, these are the results I obtained”, he said sheepishly, handing me some thickly written notes, “Do you have a moment to have a look at them?”

“What?”, I exclaimed “Please…”, he repeated, pushing the notes towards me I took the papers with a deliberate smirk on my face and began reading.

“I conducted these same analyses and reached the same conclusions. Good, we know how to run our tests correctly”, I commented sardonically Otto observed me without speaking. I read further, and in those papers I found described, step by step, each of my discoveries. I shook my head in incredulity.

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“This is simply impossible”, I told Otto, with genuine surprise now He had certainly taken my sample, but there was no way that he could have taken my notes and my results because I treasured them with great care, and never once I had left them behind for someone else to read. But then how did this happen?

“What is impossible?”, Otto asked “How could we have followed an identical logic? You are aware of this, I know it, don’t fool with me!”, I replied with skeptical defensiveness although I felt the ice starting to melt within me.

“Did we really follow an identical logic?”, Otto asked, rounding his eyes in astonishment. Then he laughed, and his laugher was full and mirthful, it glowed in his eyes.

“What makes you so happy?”, I asked, my tone soft now “We had exactly the same thoughts!”, he exclaimed “So?”, I asked again, as if this fact no longer stroke me as peculiar.

Otto kept laughing, and at last his happiness spilled into me, and I started to giggle too. Then Otto turned serious, and looked at me as he never had before.

“Iris, I saw you were stressed and I wanted to help you, but I knew you would have refused if I had openly offered to lend a hand. You are so proud”, he said, his eyes locked into mine “May I inquire about your reasons for wanting to help? What made you doubt my ability to crack the problem?”, I retorted, my happiness giving way to anger “I didn’t doubt you at all”, he replied with a frank face “Then again, why help me?”, I insisted “Because I love you, and I always have”, he said finally, lowering his eyes I was too stunned to speak.

“I never dared tell you before, but I always have”, he repeated “You know that what you and I discovered has already been found?”, I said, diverting the conversation “How so? I combed all the literature and I never found anything resembling the molecule you produced!”, he exclaimed surprised “That’s what I thought too till yesterday night, when somebody showed me a paper which described exactly, and I mean exactly, all my discoveries. All of them, I tell you, as if I myself had authored the paper”, I said, shaking my head and yet finally relieved to share my pain with someone who could understand it Page 65 of 79

“Can I see the paper?”, Otto asked “Sure, if you wish”, I replied, pulling out of my bag the binder where I had placed it yesterday night and handing it to Otto Otto opened it and lifted it close to his face, leafing through it.

“See?”, I asked, sure that his bugged eyes reflected the surprise for what he was reading, for the resemblance between my results and those described “But there’s only blank pages in this binder…”, he commented after a while, with a confused expression “Oh please!”, I exclaimed irritated, certain that he was playing a prank on me.

“You must have confused the binders”, he told me doubtfully, showing me the blank pages I leafed through the binder the same way he had, incredulous.

Blank pages, nothing but blank pages.

“I swear I placed the paper in this binder yesterday night…”, I said, unable to fully trust my own words at this point.

“Do you recall the author? The title?”, asked Otto I didn’t reply.

“If you do we could search the library’s database”, he suggested I was suddenly troubled, afraid that I had invented everything. But Cesar did give me the paper and I will ask him about it tonight! Of course I remembered the title and author of the paper, but they didn’t exist in the library’s database.

“Forget about the paper. Will you have dinner with me tonight?”, Otto asked me “No”, I replied curtly “Why not? Please give me a chance, just one”, Otto said, with a peculiar stubbornness concealed under the pleading tone “No, I will not forget about the paper and tonight I’ll find some answers from the person who gave it to me. Tomorrow can be our night, if you insist”, I replied, startled by my bluntness and by the surge of a sudden attraction I never felt before.

Otto smiled slyly.

“Then we have a deal”, he said

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Now I will head to see Cesar, shamefaced for my inexplicable passions, my treacherous memories, my flickering sanity.

Chapter 22 –Cesare Mercurio Alas, how can a woman so refined and precious, so witted and sensuous, how can my red beauty Iryssa find any interest in a worthless scoundrel like Ricco Ermete? Am I mistaken about her qualities, her intelligence and integrity, or am I mistaken about what I have seen today? This morning I took a walk in the park, in a vain attempt to clear my mind from the sorrow Iryssa’s detached behaviour had caused me. And yet life can be so ironically cruel, and wounded me with deeper cuts in that very place where I sought to find comfort.

I was close to the lake that had seen our first kiss – ah, how much I wish I could reverse the flow of the sand grains in the hourglass!- and there I caught sight of the red glow emanating from Iryssa. But she was not alone!

Every muscle in my body froze, while my mind raced to the darkest conclusions. Then for a moment I became rational and realized that I was a worthless man if my faith in my beloved was so frail it wavered at the first blow of wind.

And yet I needed to have an unconfutable proof to efface my doubts, so I stood behind a bush from where I could observe without being seen. Oh reader, I am well aware that this is not a honorable behaviour, but I exhort you to hold your to consider my anguished doubts before condemning my actions! At least I needed to see the man’s face!

Iryssa and the man stopped, speaking words I could not hear. Then they turned towards the lake for a moment and I feared they would see me, but they were too engrossed in each other’s company to notice anything else. I certainly saw the man’s face though! It was Ricco Ermete! Oh reader, why? How is this possible? They turned around and resumed their slow walk, striking each other’s hands ever so slightly, the way new lovers do.

The facts speak clearly, and yet there are times when reality differs from the tale told by seemingly objective observations. Is there anything such as an objective observation anyways? I will have to find Iryssa and talk to her, or rather send her a note asking her to join me when and if she pleases. My very last desire is to be intrusive, but I need to warn her again against the scoundrel and understand her relationship with this useless half-man with no courage and no creativity! This man who is now treacherously stealing my woman after attempting to steal my science!

Chapter 23 – Iris I was not at ease when Cesar opened the door, and he immediately detected the strident note of restlessness in my ways.

“Are you still upset about yesterday night?”, he asked, then continued, “Or perhaps there is something else that I don’t know about?”

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“What would that something else be?”, I retorted defensively “Come on in”, he said, without picking up on my bitter reply I stepped in and spoke about the paper even before removing my coat.

“I lost the paper you gave me and it seems to be irretrievable in the library’s database. Where did you find it?”, I asked “I pulled it off the database in my institution, I can find it for you now if you want. I have access to the database from my home computer too”, Cesar said “Yes, please”, I replied without hesitation “Sure”, he agreed, slightly surprised I waited tensely till Cesar searched the cursed paper.

“Here”, he said at last, pointing at a document on the screen. But when I saw it I immediately noticed it was not the same paper I had previously read.

“Wait, this is not what you gave me yesterday!”, I objected “What do you mean? I am sure it is”, Cesar replied, arching his brows “No it isn’t”, I insisted, scrolling down and reading lines I didn’t remember “I am sure it is…it is the one that seemed most relevant to you work among the ones I read, and I passed it over to you because of this. It is about cyanogenic glycosides…”, he started “It is, yes”, I interrupted, “but it is not the one you gave me yesterday!”

I was exasperated.

Cesar shrugged.

“What about having dinner and forgetting about the paper?”, he proposed with a tinge of indulgent patience in his tone that intensified my anger.

“Why does everyone want me to have dinner and forget the paper?”, I screamed “Who is everyone?”, Cesar asked, suddenly suspicious “Otto and you”, I replied dryly “Your colleague!?”, he exclaimed “Yes”, I confirmed with defiance

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“I thought you didn’t trust him, and rightly so”, his voice controlled but emanating angry vibes “I’ve began to believe that he is a better man than I thought. Perhaps I was too hasty to judge him”, I said “Hasty? He was stealing your samples!”, Cesar raged, tapping his fist against the wall I had never seen him in such a state and his violent side – which I didn’t know about before – disturbed me.

“I don’t trust Otto fully, but I think he deserves a chance to redeem himself”, I said, and described the conversation I had with Otto without mentioning his love confession, and my unexpected feelings towards him.

“I trust you, Iris. I want to trust you”, Cesar said, his voice soft again I nodded and smiled, swallowing the sense of guilt.

“But please be very careful with the man, that’s all I’m asking”, Cesar concluded, caressing my hair.

I nodded and smiled again, the tears frozen behind my eyes.

Chapter 24 – Cesare Mercurio This morning she was there, waiting for me. I found Iryssa in front of my laboratory, and my heart rejoiced at the view of her beauty, at the softness of her smile.

“I received your note, and here I am”, she said with touching candor “Thank you Iryssa, thank you!”, I exclaimed with transport and reached towards her, but she pulled back, and I sensed a disharmonic note in the melody between us.

I thought for the whole night about what I had seen in the park and swore that at some point in time and space I will take revenge, a horrendous and inhumane revenge! I will show Iryssa the real nature of the scoundrel and I will teach her to hate him, so that the revengeful strike will come from her hand, not mine! Oh reader, do not believe that I lack courage, not at all! I want the blow to be inflicted by Iryssa because there is no other way to make the revenge perfect and fully meaningful. She will suffer, yes, but Iryssa must see her delusion. Deep knowledge never comes without pain.

I smiled bitterly, and for a moment she was startled by my expression.

Then she spoke.

“Do you remember the necklace you gave me?”, she asked, holding up the pendant she still wore on her neck “I never forget”, I replied, love and cruelty blend into one

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Iryssa’s face darkened, before she managed to recompose herself and smile.

“Now I have a necklace for you”, she said, producing a little black box from her purse This gest was so unexpected I arched my brows, wondering if perhaps I hadn’t grossly misread the events.

“Yes, a necklace”, she repeated, seeing my surprise “It is not meant to be worn during the day. Don’t open the box before the evening comes! Then, when the sun falls, place it on your neck and think about me”, Iryssa instructed me My surprise increased, this behaviour seemed so atypical of my Iryssa. But was she really mine? Did I truly know her?

“Why such peculiar instructions?”, I asked “Because…this is an amulet”, she began “An amulet? You are a scientist, Iryssa, not a charlatan, how can you believe in amulets? And what is the alleged action of this amulet, if I may ask?”, I objected “It isn’t truly an amulet, although I called it so”, Iryssa corrected herself, “it is a necklace I loved as soon as I saw it and I want you to have it, but it seems more suited for a woman than a man. This is why you should not wear it during the day…I want you to wear it at night, and think about me. It is an infantine wish, I know…”, she said, without completing her sentence I smiled with tenderness.

“Oh Iryssa…”, I sighted, cursing my previous distrustful thoughts “I shall leave now, my uncle is waiting in the shop”, Iryssa said before I could embrace her She smiled as she walked away, but I sensed sadness in her smile. It was all so strange, and I could not decipher her moods.

“Can we meet tomorrow?”, I asked, as Iryssa was already at a distance “Of course”, she replied, turning my way for the briefest moment During the rest of the day I could hardly prevent myself from constantly recollecting our brief morning encounter and the scenes I had assisted to the previous day. Nonetheless I strived to find some inner peace amid my ampoules and chemicals, spending an intense day in the laboratory.

I reached my abode when the sun had already set, grasping the small box in my hand. The rooms were dark and I lit a flickering candle to shed some warmness around me. I sat at my desk and opened the box. There was a necklace with a strange pendant on it, it had a rhomboidal shape and seemed empty inside. I wondered which feelings it inspired in Iryssa when she saw it, as I turned it between my fingers Page 70 of 79

with alternating waves of unconditional love and skepticism. Then I wore it. If I were an ignorant man I might very well trust the object to be an amulet, because after donning it for nothing but few instants my heart began to beat at an odd pace, and my muscles twitched with strange pulsations. I don’t feel like my usual self. But reader, how can I after the turmoil of the last days? I shall drink a warm glass of milk and lay awhile to gain some strength, offering my beaten body and mind a pause from the battles they have been fighting.

Chapter 25 – Iris Yesterday night I had dinner with Otto. Perhaps I should have thought that things were moving too fast, and that our first date – if that dinner was a date – should have happened in a somewhat neutral territory. But Otto asked me to meet at his place, and I answered without giving it much thought. This was a mistake, a very big mistake! I should have never trusted Otto Hermes, never! My memories of yesterday are so blurred I completely renounce the idea of giving you an account of what happened. All I know is that at some point I felt extremely ill, and that this morning I woke up in my own bed with no recollection of how I got here. When I got up from bed I was light-headed and a sense of nausea still lingered in me, but I nonetheless decided to return to my work in the lab.

At this point I am not sure if the paper that shattered my faith in my work truly exists, and if somebody else discovered Iryssa Celata before I did. It does not matter, I will continue my research anyways. I need something to hold onto, I cannot abandon my work without freefalling to depths I cannot, and do not, wish to imagine. But when I reached the lab all my samples were gone. I had disposed of part of them during the destructive folly of the previous days, but I am sure that I had spared a few and placed them back in the fridge.

Why were they gone? Yes, my mind was playing vicious tricks on me, but I could swear that some samples had to be in the lab!

I knew that there was only one person who could have taken them: Otto Hermes. It was all a farce: the story about his wish to help me, his love for me and everything else he had said. And what about yesterday night? Why did he not stay with me if he loved me, since I was so ill?

Cesar was right, I should have listened to him rather than stupidly giving faith to somebody who never inspired anything in me except in one cursed moment! I left the lab in great rush, with angry tears striking my cheeks. At first I was not sure about where I was going, but then I found myself running towards Cesar’s place. I rang the bell repeatedly, although it was unlikely that I could find him during this hour of the day. But the door opened after a few instants, and Cesar welcomed me as if he had been expecting the visit.

“Come on in”, he said “I thought you’d be at work”, I replied, realizing only then that I had never seen the place where Cesar works, and don’t even know the name of his research institute Cesar did not answer, and he simply observed me in silence.

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“Otto Hermes is a liar! A liar!”, I screamed Cesar closed the door behind me.

“I don’t know what happened yesterday night, I don’t remember”, I continued, my tone not as loud now, but my anger so piercing it deafened me “You cannot remember but you know”, Cesar replied calmly “The samples in the lab are gone!”, I burst out, yelling again “And Otto Hermes is too”, Cesar concluded “How do you know?”, I asked, stunned “You thought Otto Hermes cared about you, but all he really cared about was your science. Actually, he didn’t even care about your science, but rather about how to make your science his”, Cesar explained with a sedate voice A flash of satisfaction crossed his face as he made this last statement, but then he bowed his head, and when he raised his eyes they were veiled with tears.

“Why did you ever trust him, Iris? How could you value a man like him more than you value me?”, he asked.

So he knew.

But how could he know? It hadn’t even been a love affair, it had been nothing but one short moment of confusion.

I looked at Cesar, thoughts and questions and apologies I dared not speak out crowding my mind.

“Never mind my question, what use is there in words anyways?”, Cesare said, with a blank tone I had not heard from him before.

I tried to reach for his hand but he withdrew it.

“Not now, Iris”, he said, and my heart broke “This is not the time for sorrow and it is not the time for reunions, it is the time for you to go back to the lab and find Otto Hermes”, Cesar said peremptorily “But why do you think he is there now?”, I asked “Go find him”, he repeated I am alertly aware of the shades crowding around me. I can tell something is about to happen, although I am unable to describe what will happen.

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I am sitting on some stone steps now, at the bottom of an ancient building in this city I might not see again, at least not with these same eyes, not in this same way. Reader, please remember my story if I will disappear.

I must run now. I must reach the lab as Cesar commanded. I sense he knows secrets I ignore.

Chapter 26 – Cesare Mercurio I am poisoned. These are among the last words I will write, my fingers are frail, I have no force left, my body is burning. The illness that started yesterday evening dilated within me, and I am dying.

It is still dark outside, and I don’t know if I will live to see the light of the day.

My beautiful Iryssa is with me now, her eyes are red and swollen with grief, her cheeks are wet with tears. She has ripped the necklace off my neck, I don’t know why.

“I will tell you…”, she begins, but her voice breaks “Do not cry, my precious pearl”, I say “How could I be so blind”, she cries, cupping her hands around her face.

“Ricco Ermete, that liar and impostor, misguided my stolid mind and killed you!”, she continues “Your mind is not stolid…”, I whisper “He told me he loved me, I thought I loved him too. It all happened so rapidly, I should have doubted the truthfulness of my feelings, the honesty of his words…the other day I told Ricco Ermete that I could not confess my love for him to you, because you feel so strongly for me. It was then that Ricco Ermete gave me the necklace, that cursed necklace! He told me there was an antidote in it, a potion that could cure you from the love of me so that he and I could live happily together without guilt. An antidote! Only charlatans talk about antidotes, and only ignorant men and women believe charlatans! How could I? But I did, and now you are dying, killed by the poison I gave you…”, Iryssa sobs “I know I have been poisoned”, I say, feeling not fear, but the regret of a life wasted without reason “I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating, and I sensed painful vibrations in the apparent stillness of the night. I ran out and my feet brought me towards your laboratory. I noticed that somebody was in there, with a small lantern in his hand. The man’s movements were rushed, as if he feared being discovered, and I immediately understood that you could not be the man I was seeing. I waited outside, holding my breath, and a few moments later Ricco Ermete came out of the rooms, his hands full of your stolen belongings. I screamed, and for a moment he stopped short, startled. Then he burst out in a fit of demonic laughter. ‘Did you really believe I was interested in you? I never considered you a clever woman, but you are dumber than I thought! You’ve served me well though! I appreciate your contribution in poisoning your man with his own mercury salts! Ah, what a perfect crime!’. So he said, before donning a mask and disappearing on his carriage”, Iryssa tells me Page 73 of 79

The pain is excruciating now.

Ah reader, darkness is falling upon me…

Chapter 27 – Iris When I reached the basement I saw Otto walking with gingerly steps towards my lab.

“Look who’s here!”, I shouted with abrasive irony, and Otto stopped, startled “Oh hello”, he replied, trying to disguise his nervousness “You didn’t expect to see me again?”, I asked sardonically “Why, of course I did”, Otto replied with false candor “Ah! You did. Of course. I am curious about what happened yesterday night, but perhaps what happened to my samples is an even more interesting topic of conversation”, I laughed acridly Otto looked at me with simulated surprise.

“Why don’t we go to the lab and talk there”, he told me “Right, why don’t we?”, I echoed back, walking towards the lab “You are so shaken, why don’t you sit down and have a drink, a sip of juice maybe. Here, I just purchased a couple of bottles on my way here”, he said, as if he cared “Keep your drinks for yourself!”, I screamed “But I want you to have a drink”, he insisted, approaching me with a strange expression I felt a sudden rush of fear, and droplets of cold sweat coagulated on my skin.

“No…”, I refused, but before I could pull back he began pouring the liquid down my throat. He pulled my head backwards tugging on my hair, pressing his body against mine, immobilizing me as the bitter-sweet fluid chocked me.

I thought I would die. I believe I lost conscience for a moment, but then something happened. One cannot tell how much force one has till the moment comes when one must use it or die. I coughed. I pushed back with all the hatred, the anger, the despair and the pain I had in me, and darkness exploded into light, my bound body became free and I found myself spitting juice on Otto’s body, as he lay on the floor streaked in blood.

I opened the chemical cabinet and took a concentrated solution of mercury cyanide. I tilted Otto’s head backwards and began pouring slowly, so that all the liquid went down his throat and not a single drop spilled on the floor.

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When I finished I closed the empty bottle and placed it back in the cabinet. Then I washed my hands and my face, I closed my coat to hide the spots of juice and blood on my shirt, I shut the door and walked away with regular, unhurried steps.

Chapter 28 – Cesare Mercurio It is dawning now and I have just reopened my eyes. I did not hope to see the light of the sun again.

“Cesar”, Iryssa whispers as I open my eyes “Iryssa…”, I say, the words barely audible She wets my lips with a moist cloth, sobbing.

“I love you”, she says, “I always will” “Iryssa, this is not the end. Our love has no boundaries”, I say, suddenly stronger Iryssa nods, but I know she would not dare contradict me in this moment, regardless of what I tell her.

“Iryssa, you must find the man who is killing me through your hands, and you must take revenge for this murder”, I say, my words distinctly audible now Iryssa sobs.

“Promise, Iryssa”, I tell her She nods again “Say it, Iryssa. I promise”, I insist “I promise”, she says, faintly at first Then again.

“I promise. I will revenge you, I promise”, she repeats, the words not faint now, but strong, meaningful, loaded with hatred and pain and love of me.

Now I can sleep in peace.

Chapter 29 -Iris As I left the building I kept walking as if nothing had happened. Reality is the story we choose to believe, is it not? If one walks with a leisurely pace and trusts the day to be an ordinary one, why would things be any different from what one makes-believe? This is what I told myself as I walked to the library, to the rare book section of course, as I would have in any other day. The book would be there now, I knew it.

What would it tell me today? I cringed as I asked myself the question, but then I stopped wondering, and I walked forward, empty headed, simply focusing on the act of walking. Right foot, left foot, right Page 75 of 79

foot, left foot. It seemed as a new task, strange and complex, one that required dedication. Somebody opened the library’s door for me. Somebody asked me if I needed help finding a book. No, I knew where the book was. I opened it, and saw my face.

My picture was besides Otto Hermes portrait. The images were blurred, we were wearing clothing from another century, but it was us. I stared at the page, mesmerized. ‘Iryssa Celata and Ricco

Ermete’, read the caption.

I began reading the text frantically.

The premature death of Cesar Mercury was a loss for humanity as a whole, and for the chemical sciences to which this ingenious man gave such great contributions!

I skipped some lines.

Ricco Ermete astutely and treacherously induced his lover, Iryssa Celata, to commit the bloody crime which ended the life of Cesar Mercury. Ricco Ermete, an impostor and a murderer, handed Iryssa mercury cyanide and convinced her it was a magic potion to erase the love of her from Cersar’s heart. Realizing the fraud, Iryssa Celata denounced herself, praying to receive the same death she gave to Cesar Mercury. Iryssa Celata was however spared because ignorance, rather than cruel intents, had driven her actions.

Iryssa Celata was secluded in an insane asylum, which resounded day and night with her gruesome curses and her hateful promises of eternal revenge against Ricco Ermete.

Sometimes she would look into emptiness as she walked aimlessly in the hallways, and she would smile at invisible ghosts, her face beautiful for a moment, her lips blossoming with words of love and her delicate hands caressing empty space. ‘Our love has no boundaries’, her whispers echoed in the desolate whiteness of the rooms.

I felt I could not move, but my eyes kept sliding along the lines.

Oh reader, you to whom this book is speaking, do you know these people? Through you they can live again, you own their life and death.

Oh reader, was it you who wrote their story or were you part of a plot that always was and always will be?

My body felt heavy, sank by its own weight before turning thin, inconsistent, as if I never existed. Then all fell into darkness.

“Miss, are you all right?”, I heard a female voice ask “Oh, but did we just give you an empty volume?”, she asked after a pause Page 76 of 79

I began leafing through the pages. They were blank, every single one of them.

“Sorry about this”, the voice spoke again.

I collected my belongings and walked to the police station.

The trial The prosecuting attorney “Ladies and gentlemen, Iris Celati is a dangerous and psychotic criminal, who killed Otto Hermes in cold blood after carefully planning his murder!”

Iris Celati confessed having poured down Otto Hermes throat mercury cyanide, which is the very substance that has been found in his dead body. Iris Celati told the police that she had defended herself from physical assault and that Otto Hermes had been forcing her to drink orange juice when they were in the lab. Does this seem like a reasonable accusation to you? Who would try to harm somebody by pouring orange juice down the person’s throat? This is outrageous! Ridiculous! Iris Celati said that the fight took place in the lab, but Otto Hermes body was found in his apartment, dressed in clothing from the 18th century! Who would dress in costume a man after killing him? Of course only a deeply deranged person who had planned the murder, and lied about the facts to…”

The door opens abruptly, cutting the attorney’s sentence in mid-air.

A police officer says, “Your honour, there is further evidence to be examined”.

Behind him come two other policemen, with a handcuffed man between them. The room is silent, then a murmur rises, first soft, then loud.

“Silence, please!”, dictates the judge, pounding his hammer.

“We found him in his apartment”, says the first policeman indicating the handcuffed man, “he was packing his belongings in great rush. We retrieved these lab books, they must belong to Iris Celati, her name is on the first page”.

The policeman displays my lab books as a trophy and brings them to the judge. The judge examines them for a moment, then asks the policeman to hand them to me.

“Do you recognize these lab books?”, he asks me “I do”, I say “Are they your lab books?”, he continues “Yes”, I confirm “Do you recognize the handcuffed man standing at the door?”, he asks

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“Yes. He is Otto Hermes, and I killed him”, I say “I believe you on the man’s identity, not on the fact you killed him”, the judge tells me with the flash of a smirk that immediately disappears Hushed voices swarm along the room.

The first policeman speaks again.

“We found potent hallucinogens in the apartment in which Otto Hermes lives. Our colleagues from Germany called us few hours ago to inform us that this man is researched there. He is accused of drugging people with the purpose of causing them to have hallucinations. There is evidence that he uses this method to manipulate people and induce them to commit crimes of different nature while they are not lucid. So far he has always pulled it off, but his last victim has been able to prove his innocence with the help of a doctor who detected the presence of hallucinogens in the man’s brain after he had been arrested” “Which crimes did Otto Hermes want his victims to commit?”, asks the judge “He makes them steal scientific discoveries on his behalf, then he appropriates the discoveries as if they were his and sells the information to corporations, to government institutions even”, the policeman says The judge arches his brows.

“How did the German policeman link the presence of hallucinogens in the blood of the man they arrested to Otto Hermes illegal activities?”, he asks “Otto Hermes has the habit of moving from place to place. Before being in Germany he was in Italy, disguised under the name of Ricco Ermete, and there he made the mistake that gave him away as soon as the Germans started their investigations. Otto Hermes signature is unmistakable because wherever he goes he uses the same hallucinogens. In Italy he met Iryssa, the wife and partner in science of the world-famous chemist Cesare Mercurio. He befriended her and then lured her into an illicit relationship, with the purpose of stealing the chemist’s discoveries. One day Otto Hermes gave her a bottle of wine as a gift, and the woman opened it the same night she received it to drink it with her husband. The next morning the maid found Iryssa and her husband lying unconscious on the floor, and few hours later Cesare Mercurio died, killed by the potent dose of hallucinogens in the bottle. The death of Cesare Mercurio was likely a glitch, Otto Hermes intended to drug Iryssa so that she could be manipulated into subtracting confidential data from her husband. Iryssa survived her husband and when she understood what had happened she went crazy” The judge shakes his head.

“She is currently withheld in a psychiatric hospital”, the policeman continues “If Otto Hermes is alive, who is the man who was found dead in his apartment?”, the judge asks

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“A man who had a striking resemblance with him and that he overdosed with the usual hallucinogens.

Otto Hermes has gone too far with his crimes and felt his end was getting close, so he probably tried to find an easy way out by staging his own death”, the policeman speculates “It is likely that Iris Celati was drugged too then. This would explain her apparent insanity…”, the judge says pensively, observing me as if he could ponder the truthfulness of his judgment just by looking at my face “I wouldn’t be surprised. All hints in this direction”, the policeman replies The judge embraces the court with a broad gaze, then pauses his eyes on me.

“There seems to be no limit to the perversity of the human mind”, he comments, shaking his head sadly He is silent for a moment, the court waits.

“Given the new evidence, I declare Iris Celati innocent. The case against her is closed. Iris Celati is clearly a victim, not a criminal. Otto Hermes shall be retained and prosecuted for murder, illicit drug use and fraud”, the judge concludes.

The hammer of justice pounds. ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o The person they’ve called Iris Celati walks away from the court. Don’t ask me if I am Iris Celati, I can’t really tell you. I simply don’t know. Am I Iris or Iryssa? Or again someone else? Is anything truly real?

I am about to leave the palace of justice, but I feel compelled to turn around one last times for reasons I cannot define. And there, on top of a stairwell, I see Cesare Mercurio…or perhaps it is Cesar Mercury I am seeing? His clothing belong to another century. He smiles at me. I make a move towards my lover’s figure, but when I blink my eyes suddenly I see somebody else walking down the stairwell. Did I imagine everything, even this? I leap up the stairs, breathless. I don’t want to lose Cesare, or Cesar or whoever that shadow was.

And I haven’t.

In a corner I find a small package, which I recognize immediately. I open it and feel my necklace and his ring in it, even before I see them. I roll them between my fingers for a while. Then I close the necklace on the back of my neck and slide the ring on my annular.

I know he’s there.

“Our love has no boundaries”, I say

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