T u e s d ay s W i t h M o r r i e An old man, a young man, a n d l i fe ’ s g r e a t e s t l e s s o n
MITCH ALBOM
F i r s t p u b l i s h e d i n t h e Un i t e d St a t e s i n 19 9 7 b y D o u b l e d ay, a d i v i s i o n o f B a n t a m D o u b l e d ay D e l l P u b l i s h i n g G r o u p , I n c . T h e l i n e s f r o m “ my fa t h e r m o ve d t h r o u g h d o o m s F i r s t p u b l i s h e d i n G r e a t B r i t a i n i n 19 9 8 b y L i t t l e , o f l o ve ,” c o p y r i g h t 19 4 0 , © 19 6 8 , 19 91 b y t h e B r ow n a n d C o mp a ny R e p r i n t e d 19 9 9 ( fo u r t i m e s ) , T r u s t e e s f o r t h e E . E C u m m i n g s T r u s t , f r o m 2 0 0 0 ( t h r e e t i m e s ) , 2 0 01, 2 0 0 2 R e p r i n t e d b y C O M P L E T E P O E M S : 19 0 4 - 19 6 2 b y E . E C u m m i n g s , T i m e Wa r n e r Pa p e r b a ck s i n 2 0 0 2 R e p r i n t e d Edited by George J. Firmage. Reprinted by permission 2 0 0 3 , 2 0 0 4 ( f i ve t i m e s ) , 2 0 0 5 R e p r i n t e d b y T i m e o f L i ve r i g h t P u b l i s h i n g C o r p o r a t i o n . ’ ’ T h e Ve r y Wa r n e r B o o k s i 2 0 0 5 ( t w i c e ) , 2 0 0 6 ( t h r e e t i m e s ) T h o u g h t o f Yo u – R ay No b l e 19 3 4 – C a mp b e l l R e p r i n t e d b y S p h e r e i n 2 0 0 7 ( t w i c e ) R e p r i n t e d C o n n e l ly I n c . a n d Wa r n e r B r o s . I n c . C o p y r i g h t i n 2 0 0 8 ( t h r e e t i m e s ) , 2 0 0 9 ( t w i c e ) r e n e we d ; e x t e n d e d t e r m o f c o p y r i g h t d e r i v i n g f r o m R ay No b l e a s s i g n e d a n d e f fe c t i ve A p r i l 16 , 19 9 0 , t o R A N G E R O A D M U S I C I N C . C o p y r i g h t © 19 9 7 a n d Q U A R T E T M U S I C I N C . b y M i t ch A l b o m U s e d b y p e r m i s s i o n . A l l r i g h t s r e s e r ve d . The moral right of the author has been asserted.
Q u o t a t i o n f r o m u n t i t l e d p o e m b y W. H . Au d e n r e p r i n t e d c o u r t e s y o f R a n d o m H o u s e I n c . A l l r i g h t s r e s e r ve d . No p a r t o f t h i s p u b l i c a t i o n m ay b e r e p r o d u c e d , stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in a ny fo r m o r b y a ny m e a n s w i t h o u t t h e p r i o r p e r A C I P c a t a l o g u e r e c o r d fo r t h i s b o o k i s av a i l a b l e m i s s i o n i n w r i t i n g o f t h e p e r m i s s i o n i n w r i t i n g o f f r o m t h e B r i t i s h L i b r a r y. t h e p u b l i s h e r, n o r b e o t h e r w i s e c i r c u l a t e d i n a ny I S B N : 9 7 8 - 0 - 7 515 - 2 7 3 7 - 7 fo r o f b i n d i n g o r c o ve r o t h e r t h a n t h a t i n w h i ch it is published and without a similar condition i n c l u d i n g t h i s c o n d i t i o n b e i n g i mp o s e d o n t h e s u b s e qu e n t p u r ch a s e r.
Sphere A n i mp r i n t o f L i t t l e , B r ow n B o o k G r o u p 10 0 V i c t o r i a E m b a n k m e n t London E C 4 Y 0 DY A n H a ch e t t e U K C o mp a ny w w w. h a c e t t e . c o . u k w w w. l i t t l e b r ow n . c o . u k
XI · ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
1 · THE CURRICULUM 7 · THE SYLLABUS 18 · T H E S T U D E N T 20 · THE AUDIOVISUAL 26 · THE ORIENTATION 3 2 · T H E C L A S S R O O M 41 · TA K I N G AT T E N DA NC E 48 · T H E F I R ST T U E S DAY We t a l k a b o u t t h e Wo r l d 55 · T H E S E C O N D T U E S DAY We t a l k a b o u t fe e l i n g s o r r y fo r y o u r s e l f
62 · T H E T H I R D T U E S DAY We t a l k a b o u t r e g r e t s 6 9 · T H E A U D I O V I S U A L , PA R T T W O 7 3 · T H E P R O F E S S O R 80 · T H E F O U RT H T U E S DAY We t a l k a b o u t d e a t h 90 · T H E F I F T H T U E S DAY We t a l k a b o u t fa m i ly 10 0 · T H E S I X T H T U E S D AY We t a l k a b o u t e m o t i o n s 1 0 9 · T H E P R O F E S S O R , PA R T T W O 11 5 · T H E S E V E N T H T U E S D A Y We t a l k a b o u t t h e fe a r o f a ge i n g 1 2 3 · T H E E I G H T H T U E S D A Y We t a l k a b o u t M o n e y 13 0 · T H E N I N T H T U E S DAY We t a l k a b o u t h ow l o ve g o e s o n 14 2 · T H E T E N T H T U E S D A Y We t a l k a b o u t m a r r i a ge
15 2 · T H E E L E V E N T H T U E S DAY We t a l k a b o u t o u r c u l t u r e 16 0 · T H E A U D I O V I S U A L , PA R T T H R E E 16 4 · T H E T W E L F T H T U E S D A Y We t a l k a b o u t t h e p e r fe c t d ay 17 1 · T H E T H I R T E E N T H T U E S D A Y We t a l k a b o u t fo rg i ve n e s s 1 81 · T H E F O U R T E E N T H T U E S D A Y We s ay g o o d - b ye
18 7 · G R A D UAT I O N 19 0 · C O N C L U S I O N
1
THE L AST CL ASS OF LIFE t o o k p l a c e o n c e a we e k i n h i s house, by a window in the study where he could watch a small hibiscus p l a n t s h e d i t s p i n k l e ave s . T h e c l a s s m e t o n T u e s d ay s . I t b e ga n a f t e r b r e a k fa s t . T h e s u b j e c t was The Meaning of Life. It was taught from experience.
No g rades were given, but there were oral exams e a ch we e k . Yo u we r e e x p e c t e d t o r e s p o n d t o qu e s t i o n s , a n d y o u we r e e x p e x t e d t o p o s e qu e s t i o n s o f y o u r ow n . Yo u we r e a l s o r e qu i r e d t o p e r fo r m p hy s i c a l t a s k s n ow a n d t h e n , s u ch a s l i g t i n g t h e professor’s head to a comfor table spot on the pillow or pla cing his g l a s s es o n t h e b ri d ge o f h is nose. Kissing him good-bye ear ned you extra credit.
No b o o k s we r e r e qu i r e d , ye t m a ny t o p i c s we r e c o ve r e d i n c l u d i n g l o ve , w o r k , c o m m u n i t y, fa m i ly, a g i n g , fo rg i ve n e s s , a n d , f i n a l ly, d e a t h . T h e l a s t l e c t u r e w a s b r i e f , o n ly a fe w w o r d s .
A funeral was held in lieu of graduation.
A l t h o u g h n o f i n a l e x a m w a s g i ve n y o u we r e e x p e c t e d t o p r o d u c e o n e l o n g p a p e r o n what was learned. That paper is presented here.
T h e l a s t c l a s s o f my o l d p r o fe s s o r ’ s l i fe h a d o n ly one student.
I was the student.
3
I T I S T H E L AT E S P R I NG O F 19 7 9 , a h o t , s t i c k y S a t u r d ay a f t e r n o o n . H u n d r e d s o f u s s i t t o ge t h e r, s i d e b y s i d e , i n r ow s o f w o o d e n fo l d i n g ch a i r s o n t h e m a i n c a mp u s l aw n . We we a r b l u e ny l o n r o b e s . We l i s t e n i mp a t i e n t ly t o l o n g s p e e ch e s . W h e n t h e c e r e m o ny i s o ve r, we t h r ow o u r c a p s i n t h e a i r, a n d we a r e o f f i c i a l ly g r a d u a t e d f r o m c o l l e ge t h e s e n i o r c l a s s o f B r a n d e i s Un i v e r s i t y i n t h e c i t y i f Wa l t h a m , M a s s a ch u s e t t s , Fo r m a ny o f u s , t h e c u r t a i n h a s j u s t c o m e d ow n o n ch i l d h o o d .
A f t e r w a r d , I f i n d M o r r i e S ch w a r t s , my favo u r i t e p r o fe s s o r, a n d i n t r o d u c e h i m t o my p a r e n t s . H e i s a s m a l l m a n w h o t a ke s s m a l l s t e p s , a s i f a s t r o n g w i n d c o u l d , a t a ny t i m e , w h i s k h i m u p i n t o t h e c l o u d s . I n h i s g r a d u a t i o n d ay r o b e , h e l o o k s l i ke a cross between a biblical prophet and a Christmas e l f . H e h a s s p a r k l i n g b l u e - g r e e n e ye s , t h i n n i n g s i lve r h a i r t h a t s p i l l s o n t o h i s fo r e h e a d , b i g e a r s ,
a t r i a n g u l a r n o s e , a n d t u f t s o f g r ay i n g e ye b r ow s . Although his teeth are crooked and his lower ones are slanted back–as if someone had once punched them in–when he smiles it’s as if you’d j u s t t o l d h i m t h e f i r s t j o ke o n e a r t h .
H e t e l l s my p a r e n t s h o w I t o o k e v e r y c l a s s h e taught. he tells them,
“ Yo u h ave a ve r y s p e c i a l b oy h e r e . ”
E m b a r r a s s e d , I l o o k a t my fe e t . B e fo r e we l e ave , I h a n d my p r o fe s s o r a p r e s e n t , a t a n b r i e f c a s e w i t h h i s i n i t i a l s o n t h e f r o n t . I b o u g h t t h i s t h e d ay b e fo r e a t a s h o p p i n g m a l l . I d i d n ’ t w a n t t o fo rge t h i m . M ay b e I d i d n ’ t w a n t h i m t o fo rge t m e .
“ M i t ch , y o u a r e o n e o f t h e g o o d o n e s ,”
5
h e s ay s , a d m i r i n g t h e b r i e f c a s e . T h e n h e h u g s m e . I fe e l h i s t h i n a r m s a r o u n d my b a c k . I a m t a l l e r t h a n h e i s , a n d w h e n h e h o l d s m e , I fe e l aw k w a r d , o l d e r, a s i f I we r e t h e p a r e n t a n d h e w e r e t h e c h i l d . H e a s k e d i f I w i l l s t ay i n t o u c h , a n d w i t h o u t h e s i t a t i o n I s ay,
“Of course.”
W h e n h e s t e p s b a ck , I s e e t h a t h e i s c r y i n g .
H I S D E AT H S E N T E NC E came in the summer of 19 9 4 . L o o k i n g b a ck , M o r r i e k n e w s o m e t h i n g b a d w a s c o m i n g l o n g b e fo r e t h a t . H e k n e w i t t h e d ay h e gave u p d a n c i n g .
H e h a d a l w ay s b e e n a d a n c e r, my o l d p r o fe s s o r. T h e m u s i c d i d n ’ t m a t t e r. R o ck a n d r o l l , b i g b a n d , t h e b l u e s . H e l o ve d t h e m a l l . H e w o u l d c l o s e h i s eyes and with a blissful smile begin to move to h i s ow n s e n s e o f r hy t h m . I t w a s n ’ t a l w ay s p r e t t y. B u t t h e n , h e d i d n ’ t w o r r y a b o u t a p a r t n e r. M o r r i e danced by himself.
H e u s e d t o g o t o t h i s ch u r ch i n H a r v a r d S qu a r e e v e r y We d n e s d a y n i g h t fo r s o m e t h i n g c a l l e d “Dance Free”. They had f lashing lights and b o o m i n g s p e a ke r s a n d M o r r i e w o u l d w a n d e r i n amo ng t he mo s t ly s t u d en t c row d , wea ring a white T - s h i r t a n d b l a ck s we a t p a n t s a n d a t owe l a r o u n d h i s n e ck , a n d w h a t e ve r m u s i c w a s p l ay i n g , t h e ’ s t h e m u s i c t o w h i ch h e d a n c e d . H e ’ d d o t h e l i n d y t o J i m i H e n d r i x . H e t w i s t e d a n d t w i r l e d , h e w ave d h i s a r m s l i ke a c o n d u c t o r o n a mp h e t a m i n e s , u n t i l s we a t w a s d r i p p i n g d ow n t h e m i d d l e o f h i s b a ck . No o n e t h e r e k n e w h e w a s a p r o m i n e n t d o c t o r o f s o c i o l o g y, w i t h ye a r s o f e x p e r i e n c e a s a c o l l e ge p r o fe s s o r a n d s e ve r a l we l l - r e s p e c t e d b o o k s . T h e y just thought he was some old nut.
O n c e , h e b r o u g h t a t a n g o t o e a n d g o t t h e m t o p l ay it over the speakers. Then he commandeered t h e f l o o r, s h o o t i n g b a ck a n d fo r t h l i ke s o m e
9
hot Latin lover. When he f inished, ever yone applauded. He could have stayed in the moment forever.
But then the dancing stopped. H e d e ve l o p e d a s t h m a i n h i s s i x t i e s . His breating became laboured.
O n e d ay h e w a s w a l k i n g a l o n g t h e C h a r l e s R i ve r a n d a c o l d b u r s t o f w i n d l e f t h i m ch o k i n g fo r a i r. He was rushed to the hospital and injected with Ad r e n a l i n .
A few years later, he began to have trouble walking. At a b i r t h d ay p a r t y fo r a f r i e n d , h e s t u m b l e d i n e x p l i c a b ly. A n o t h e r n i g h t , h e fe l l d ow n t h e s t e p s o f a t h e a t r e , s t a r t l i n g a s m a l l c r ow d o f p e o p l e .
“ G i ve h i m a i r ! � s o m e o n e ye l l e d .
H e w a s i n h i s s e ve n t i e s b y t h i s p o i n t , s o t h e y whispered
“ o l d a ge ”
a n d h e l p e d h i m t o h i s fe e t .
B u t M o r r i e , w h o w a s a l w ay s m o r e i n t o u ch w i t h his insides than the rest of us, knew something e l s e w a s w r o n g . T h i s w a s m o r e t h a n o l d a ge .
H e w a s we a r y a l l t h e t i m e .
He had trouble sleeping.
He dreamt he was dying.
H e b e ga n t o s e e d o c t o r s . L o t s o f t h e m . T h e y t e s t e d his blood. They tested his urine. They put up a s c o p e u p h i s r e a r e n d a n d l o o ke d i n s i d e o f h i s i n t e s t i n e s . F i n a l ly, w h e n n o t h i n g c o u l d b e fo u n d , o n e d o c t o r o r d e r e d a m u s c l e b i o p s y, t a k i n g a s m a l l piece out of Morrie’s calf. The lab report came back suggesting a neurological problem, and M o r r i e w a s b r o u g h t i n fo r ye t a n o t h e r s e r i e s o f tests. In one of those tests, he sat in a special seat as the zapped him with electrical current—
a n e l e c t r i c c h a i r, o f s o r t s — a n d s t u d i e d h i s neurological responses.
“ We n e e d t o ch e ck t h i s f u r t h e r,” t h e d o c t o r s s a i d , l o o k i n g o ve r h i s r e s u l t s .
“ W hy ? ” M o r r i e a s ke d .
“What is it?”
“ We ’ r e n o t s u r e . Yo u r t i m e s a r e s l ow. ”
H i s t i m e s we r e s l ow ? W h a t d i d t h a t m e a n ?
F i n a l ly, o n a h o t , h u m i d d ay i n Au g u s t 19 9 4 , M o r r i e a n d h i s w i fe , C h a r l o t t e , we n t t o t h e n e u r o l o g i s t ’ s o f f i c e , a n d h e a s ke d t h e m t o s i t b e fo r e he broke the news: Mor rie had amyothropic lateral sclerosis (ALS), Lou Gehrig’s disease, a brutal,
u n fo rg i v i n g i l l n e s s o f t h e n e u r o l o g i c a l s y s t e m .
T h e r e w a s n o k n ow n c u r e . “ H ow d i d I ge t i t ? ” M o r r i e a s ke d .
No b o d y k n e w.
“Is it terminal?”
Ye s .
“So I’m going to die?”
Ye s , y o u a r e , t h e d o c t o r s a i d . I ’ m ve r y s o r r y.
H e s a t w i t h M o r r i e a n d C h a r l o t t e fo r n e a r ly t w o h o u r s , p a t i e n t ly a n s we r i n g t h e i r qu e s t i o n s . W h e n t h e y l e f t , t h e d o c t o r gave t h e m s o m e i n fo r m a t i o n
13
o n A L S . L i t t l e p a mp h l e t s , a s i f t h e y we r e o p e n i n g a bank account. Outside, the sun was shining and p e o p l e we r e g o i n g a b o u t t h e i r b u s i n e s s . A w o m a n r a n t o p u t m o n e y i n t h e p a r i n g m e t e r. A n o t h e r car ried g roceries. Charlotte had a million thoughts running through her mind:
H ow m u ch t i m e d o we h ave l e f t ? H ow w i l l we m a n a ge ? H ow w i l l we p ay t h e b i l l s ?
M y o l d p r o fe s s o r, m e a n w h i l e , w a s s t u n n e d b y t h e n o r m a l c y o f t h e d ay a r o u n d h i m .
Shouldn’t the world stop? D o n ’ t t h e y k n ow w h a t h a s happened to me?
But the world did not stop, it took no notice at
a l l , a n d a s M o r r i e p i l l e d we a k ly o n t h e c a r fo r, h e fe l t a s i f h e we r e d r o p p i n g i n t o a h o l e .
Now w h a t ? he thought.
A s my o l d p r o fe s s o r s e a r c h e d fo r a n s w e r s , t h e d i s e a s e t o o k h i m o ve r, d ay b y d ay, we e k b y we e k . H e b a cke d t h e c a r o u t o f t h e ga r a ge o n e m o r n i n g a n d c o u l d b a r e ly p u s h t h e b r a ke s . T h a t w a s t h e end of his
driving.
H e ke p t t r i p p i n g , s o h e p u r ch a s e d a c a n e . T h a t was the end of his
walking free.
H e we n t fo r h i s r e g u l a r s w i m a t t h e Y M CA , b u t fo u n d h e c o u l d n o l o n ge r u n d r e s s h i m s e l f . S o h e h i r e d h i s f i r s t h o m e c a r e w o r k e r — a t h e o l o g y s t u d e n t n a m e d To ny — w h o h e l p e d h i m i n a n d o u r
15
of the pool, and in and out of his bathing suit. In t h e l o cke r r o o m , t h e o t h e r s w i m m e r s p r e t e n d e d n o t t o s t a r e . T h e y s t a r e d a ny h ow. T h a t w a s t h e end of his
privacy.
I n t h e f a l l o f 19 9 4 , M o r r i e c a m e t o t h e h i l l y Br a nde is ca mp u s t o t ea ch h i s f i n a l c o l l e ge c o ur se. He could have skipped this, of course. The university w o u l d h ave u n d e r s t o o d . W hy s u f fe r i n f r o n t o f s o many perople? Stay at home. Get you af fairs in order. But the idea of quitting did not occur to Mor rie.
In s t e a d, he ho b b l ed i n t o t h e c l a s s ro o m , his ho m e for mo r e t ha n t h i r t y yea rs . Bea c u s e o f the c ane, h e t ook a while t o rea ch t h e ch a i r. F i n a lly, he sat down, dr o ppe d h i s g l a s s es o f f h i s n o s e, and lo o ked out a t t he y ou n g fa c es w h o s t a red b a ck in silenc e.
“ M y f r i e n d s , I a s s u m e y o u a r e a l l h e r e fo r t h e
S o c i a l P s ych o l o g y c l a s s . I h ave b e e n t e a ch i n g t h i s c o u r s e fo r t we n t y ye a r s a n d t h i s i s t h e f i r s t t i m e I can say there is a risk in taking it, because I have a fatal illness. I may not last to f inish the semester.
I f y o u fe e l t h i s i s a p r o b l e m , I understand if you wish to drop the course.�
He smiled.
And that was the end of his secret.