Stefan Constantinescu: Northern Lights

galerie

Øtefan Constantinescu: Northern Lights Øtefan Constantinescu www.forma12.com/stefan stefan@forma12.com

Born 1968 Bucharest, Romania Lives and works in Stockholm Studies: 1997–98 Special student, The Royal Academy of Arts, Stockholm, Sweden. 1994–97 Master of Fine Arts, at The Royal Academy of Arts, Stockholm, Sweden. 1989–96 Bachelor of Art, at The Romanian Art Academy, Bucharest, Romania Personal Exhibitions: 2004 ”Dacia 1300, my generation”, Muzeul fiæranului Român, Bucharest, Romania, Curator: Tom Sandqvist. 2004 ”Dacia 1300, my generation”, Gallery Vector, Iaøi, Romania. 2004 ”Dacia 1300, my generation”, Gallery H-arta, Timiøoara, Romania. 2004 ”Dacia 1300, my generation”, Malmö Konstmuseum, F-Rummet, Sweden, Curator: Tom Sandqvist. 2003 ”Dacia 1300, my generation”, ID:I Gallery, Stockholm, Sweden, Curator: Tom Sandqvist. 2001 ”Just What Is It…”, Gallery Atelier 35, Bucharest, Romania. 2000 ”Archive of Pain”, Video Installation, Dalles Art Hall, Bucharest, Romania, Curator: Tom Sandqvist.

2000 ” Archive of Pain”, Video Installation, Contemporary Art Center, Vilnius, Lithuania, Curator: Tom Sandqvist. 1997 Gallery Mejan, Stockholm, Sweden.

Group Exhibitions: 2006 ”INDIRECT SPEECH”, Kunsthalle Fridericianum, Kassel, Germany, Curator: Alina Øerban. 2006 Bucharest Biennale, Bucharest, Romania.

2006 ”ON DIFFERENCE #2”, Württembergischer Kunstvereins Stuttgart, Germany, Curator: Hans D. Christ/Iris Dressler. 2005 ”Minnesbilder”, Skulpturens Hus, Stockholm, Sweden, Curator: Viveca Lindenstrand. 2005 ”ON DIFFERENCE #1 – Local Contexts – Hybrid Spaces”, Württembergischer Kunstvereins Stuttgart, Germany, Curator: Hans D. Christ/Iris Dressler. 2005 ”TEXTground” – Display Gallery, Prague, Czech Republic, Curator: Cosmin Costinaø. 2004 ”Blick 2004”, Kunstverein Munich, Germany. 2004 ”Ideas in Motion” – video days 2, Associazione Culturale Promere and Cooperativa Atelier, Florens, Italy, Curator: Fiammetta Strigoli. 2004 ”The Way like the World is”, Turkish Bath of Iaøi, Romania, Curator: Matei Bejenaru. 2004 ”Blick 2004”, Moderna Museet, Stockholm, Sweden, the works were selected by: Maria Lind – Kunstverein, Munich, Anna Livion-Ingvarsson – Swedish Touring Exhibitions, Cecilia Widenheim, Moderna Museet. 2003 ”Narration in Swedish Contemporary Art”, Norrköpings Konstmuseum, Sweden, Curator: Marianne Hultman. 2002 ”Focus on Romania”, Museum Quartier, Wine, Austria, Curator: Susanne Neuburger. 2002 ”COOP 02”, Museum of Contemporary Art/Kalinderu Media Lab, Bucharest, Romania. 1999 ”Real/Ireal”, Gallery Atelier 35, Bucharest, Romania. 1997 ”Främlingen”, Gallery Mejan, Stockholm, Sweden, Curator: Tom Sandqvist. 1996 Konstnärshuset, Stockholm, Sweden. 1996 Gallery Galleriet, Växjö, Sweden.

Film Festivals: 2006 “El Pasaje”, Transylvania International Film Festival, Cluj, Romania. 2006 “El Pasaje”, festivalul cARTfilm, Iaøi, Romania. 2006 “El Pasaje”, Thessaloniki International DocMarket. 2006 ”El Pasaje”, Göteborg Film Festival, Göteborg, Sweden. 2004 ”Dacia 1300, My Generation”, The 8th Rencontres Internationales Paris/Berlin, Paris, France.

Represented:Malmö Museum of Contemporary Art, Sweden Features: Print: 2005 Aftonbladet, “Så kort är ett liv – och så långt”, Ulrika Stahre om ”Minnesbilder”. 2004 Springerin 3/04, “Dacia 1300, My Generation”, Editor: Dr. Susanne Neuburger, Wien, Austria. 2004 Helsingborgs Dagblad, “Med rumänsk folkbil till det förflutna”, (”Martin Schibli went to a different type of art exhibit in Malmö”), Martin Schibli, Helsingborg, Sweden. 2004 Sydsvenskan, ”Jelena Zetterström sees Stefan Constantinescu”, Jelena Zetterström, Malmö, Sweden. 2003 Nutida Musik/Tritonus, “A conversation among artists from the former Eastern bloc”, Stockholm, Sweden. 2003 Dagens Nyheter – På stan, “The car of the future”, Milou Allerholm, Stockholm, Sweden. 2003 Dagens Nyheter, “Konsten att berätta”, Milou Allerholm, Stockholm, Sweden. 2003 Uppsala Nya Tidning, “Berättelser i ung svensk konst”, Cristina Karlstam, Uppsala, Sweden. 2003 Norrköpings Tidningar, ”Konsten som berättar”, Bo Borg, Norrköping, Sweden. 2003 Aftonbladet, “Tomheten vinner – Ulrika Stahre ser – sanningar - i Norrköping”, Ulrika Stahre, Stockholm, Sweden. 2003 Norrköpings Tidningar, “Konsten har blivit mer tillgänglig”, Pauli Olavi Kuivanen, Norrköping, Sweden Radio/TV: 2003 Radio P1, Bildbyrån, “Global views” – Editors: Cecilia Blomberg and Måns Hirschfeldt, Stockholm, Sweden.

22

galerie 10.01.2006–27.03.2006

10.01.2006-27.03.2006

N-am mai visat ceva de mult. Îmi place sæ dorm, øi nici nu mai apuc sæ visez sau poate cæ m-am ramolit într-atîta, încît dimineaflæ nu mai ramîne nimic gravat pe hard-disk. Mi-am propus de ceva timp sæ mæ scol diminefla la ora 6, dar nu reuøesc sæ-mi respect planul. M-am trezit odatæ, am facut cafeaua, micul dejun øi m-am bagat din nou în pat. Vreau sæ fac atîtea, dar parcæ timpul nu-mi mai ajunge. Totuøi, la somn nu pot renunfla. La primavaræ, cînd va fi luminæ de la 3.00 dimineafla, cred cæ nu va fi o problemæ sæ mæ scol mai devreme. De obicei, mæ scol la 7.30, mæ duc la baie, mæ spæl pe dinfli, mænînc, vorbesc cu Kuki øi cu bæieflii, îl îmbrac pe Iancu øi apoi fugim la grædiniflæ. Mæ întorc acasæ øi este deja ora 9.00. Mæ apuc de lucru. Pierd o græmadæ de timp pe internet. Sînt bolnav de internet. Chiar acum, am primit un e-mail de la Gunnila de la Arbetsförmedlingen Kultur (forflele de muncæ, secfliunea de culturæ). Voi începe un curs pentru øomeri, pe 6 februarie. De cînd a apærut problema de-localizarii locurilor de muncæ, este foarte greu sæ gæseøti o slujbæ în Suedia. Toate slujbele fug în Europa de Est sau, chiar mai departe, în Asia. Sînt curios sæ væd unde se va ajunge.

It’s been a long time since my last dream. I like sleeping and I fail to dream or maybe I’m just so decrepit, that the morning leaves nothing on the hard-disk.

I’ve been planning for sometime to wake up at six in the morning, but I cannot stick to the plan. There was one time I woke up, I made the coffee, the breakfast and I turned in again. I want to do so many things, but it seems that I’m running out of time. However, I can’t give up sleep. In the spring, when light starts at 3 in the morning, I don’t think that waking up earlier will be a problem. I usually wake up at 7.30, I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, eat, talk to Kuki and the boys, I dress up Iancu and we hurry to the kindergarten. I return home and it’s already 9.00.

I start working. I waste a lot of time on the Internet. I am Internet-sick. I just got an email from Gunnila from Arbetsförmedlingen Kultur (working forces, cultural section).

I’m starting a course for the unemployed on February 6. Since the problem of delocalization of jobs appeared, it’s very hard to find a job in Sweden. All jobs leave for Eastern Europe or even further, for Asia. I wonder where it will end.

De obicei îmi vine sæ povestesc despre România, dar acum am sæ povestesc despre Suedia.

Nu øtiu de ce, dar îmi este mai uøor sæ vorbesc despre România. Îmi este pur øi simplu la îndemînæ s-o fac, poate øi pentru cæ, de aici, din Suedia, am suficientæ distanflæ. M-am întors din România de o sæptæmînæ øi încæ nu înfleleg unde mæ aflu. Noroc cu Gunnila, asistenta de la Arbetsförmedlingen Kultur, care mæ ajutæ sæ revin cu picioarele pe pæmînt. Deøi lucrez sau cel puflin mæ agit de dimineflæ pînæ searæ cu tot felul de lucruri, scriu øi ræspund la e-mailuri, lucrez la proiectele mele, am totuøi senzaflia cæ nu fac nimic. Uneori lucrez doar din rutinæ, færæ sæ mæ gîndesc sau sa înfleleg ce fac. Asta mi se întîmplæ de fiecare datæ cînd mæ întorc aici, am nevoie de cîteva sæptæmîni de readaptare. Cum ajung pe aeroport mi se face ræu, uneori am febræ. Cred cæ este o reacflie a organismului, un fel de autoapærare, creierul vrea sæ mæ avertizeze cæ, gata, s-a terminat, acum trebuie sæ te trezeøti din „beflie“. A început sæ-mi fie greu sæ mæ miøc. De fapt, îmi este greu sæ mæ întorc la problemele curente. Îmi este frica sæ nu greøesc, sæ n-o iau pe tobogan, în jos. Obstacolele sînt la mine în cap, øi nu este neapærat vorba de ceva exterior.

Orice miøcare în spafliu mæ doare foarte tare, orice despærflire este o durere. Este o durere fizicæ, o obosealæ enormæ, mæ dor oasele, carnea, capul. Nu reuøesc sæ înmagazinez toate informafliile. Timpul are o altæ dimensiune, totul se dilatæ. Am observat cæ, dacæ stau aici, mæ simt mult mai bine fizic sau, mai bine zis, nu am øocul revenirii la realitate, care este atît de dureros.

Cîteva chestii refuz sæ le înfleleg. Noi locuim la etajul 5, într-un bloc de 8 etaje, în Grimsta, zonæ care aparfline de Vällingby, una din suburbiile Stockolmului. În interiorul blocului øi pe o razæ de aproximativ 50 de metri în jurul lui, ne salutæm respectoøi cu tofli vecinii, dar cum aceastæ zonæ este depæøitæ, cum, brusc, nimeni nu te mai salutæ. Este ca øi cum regulile jocului sînt valabile doar pe un anumit teritoriu. Eu am avut întodeauna probleme cu salutatul. Obiønuiesc sæ-i salut pe tofli cunoscuflii øi îmi place sæ fiu salutat, øi, de aceea, înnebunesc cînd cineva se face cæ nu mæ vede øi nu mæ salutæ. Mæ simt pæcælit, adicæ a primit ceva færæ sæ dea la schimb, mi-a luat abuziv salutul. În ce priveøte salutul, îl dau la schimb: dau un salut pentru un alt salut. Poate cæ sînt eu meschin øi ar trebui sæ fiu mai generos, sæ nu mæ mai aøtept sæ primesc ceva de la ceilalfli. Trebuie sæ mæ mai gîndesc la asta.

S-a blocat internetul! Sînt dependent de cæsufla mea poøtalæ electornicæ. Gata, a repornit, dar n-am primit nici un e-mail. Într-o zi primesc în medie cam 20–30 de e-mailuri, însæ doar 5, poate, îmi sînt adresate, restul sînt reclame. Lunea øi marflea primesc cele mai multe e-mailuri, vinerea nu primesc e-mailuri de la instituflii, iar sîmbætæ øi duminicæ primesc doar reclame.

A fost straniu în România, nu am avut sentimentul cæ m-am întors acasæ, ci doar cæ m-am întors într-un loc drag, pe care îl cunosc foarte bine, dar nu este la mine acasæ. Am simflit ce simt de obicei cînd ajung, de exemplu, în Italia; acum exagerez puflin. Vreau sæ spun cæ am ajuns undeva unde cunosc aerul, mirosurile, atmosfera, forfota din jur, dar totuøi ceva lipseøte. Din maøina lui Claudiu, cu care am plecat de la aeroport, totul îmi pærea cunoscut øi în acelaøi timp stræin, recunoøteam locurile, stræzile, clædirile, øi totuøi le simfleam foarte diferite. Deøi era Cræciunul, øi în aeroport, în toate benzinæriile, øi prin oraø se auzeau eternele colinde ale lui Hruøcæ, eu nu am simflit nimic din tot ce îmi închipuiam cæ trebuie sæ simt. N-am mai fost de Craciun în flaræ din ’94, de cînd m-am øi cæsætorit, øi plænuiam de mult sæ fac Cræciunul øi Anul Nou în flaræ, cu cei apropiafli. Am simflit cæ România s-a înstræinat de mine øi cæ îmi este aproape la fel de stræinæ ca øi Suedia. Mæ gîndesc la tofli aceia care refuzæ sæ se mai întoarcæ, chiar în vizitæ, la ei acasæ, mæ gîndesc, de asemenea, la ce voiau sæ-mi spunæ tofli aceia cu care vorbeam øi pe care nu-i înflelegeam atunci cînd am venit în Suedia, inclusiv pe pærinflii mei. Nici acum, nu øtiu dacæ

26

I usually feel like talking about Romania, but now I will talk about Sweden. I don’t know why, but it seems easier to talk about Romania. It’s just handy to do so, perhaps because from here, from Sweden, I can put myself at some distance. I returned from Romania for a week and I still can’t figure out where I am. Lucky with Gunnila, the assistant from Arbetsförmedlingen Kultur, who helps me get my feet on the ground again. Although I work or at least toss about from dusk till dawn about a lot of things, I write and answer to e-mails, work on my projects, I have the feeling that I’m not doing anything. Sometimes it’s just the routine, without thinking or understanding what I am doing. This happens every time I return here, I need several weeks to readjust. As soon as I arrive at the airport I get sick, sometimes feverish. I think it’s an organic reaction, a kind of self-defense, the brain wants to warn me, No more, it’s over, now you have “to sober up”. It has become difficult for me to move. In fact, it’s hard for me to return to the daily problems. I’m afraid of making mistakes, of sliding down the drain. The obstacles are in my head, it’s not necessarily something exterior.

Any spatial movement hurts a lot, any departure is painful. It is a physical pain, an enormous tiredness, my bones, my flesh, my head hurt. I fail to store all the information. Time gains another dimension, everything expands. I noticed that if I stay here I feel much better, physically speaking, or, to be more precisely, there is no shock of returning to reality, which is so painful.

There are some things I refuse to understand. We live on the fifth floor, in an eight floor building in Grimsta, an area belonging to Vällingby, a Stockholm suburbia. Inside the building and in an area of about 50 meters around it, we respectfully salute with all the neighbours, but once outside this area, suddenly nobody salutes you anymore.

It seems like the rules of the game apply only on a particular territory. I always had trouble with saluting. I use to salute all my acquaintances and I like being saluted; that’s why I go mad when someone pretends not to see me and doesn’t salute me.

I feel betrayed, I mean he received something without returning the gift, he abusively took my salute. Regarding the salute, this is like a trade for me: I exchange a salute for another. Maybe I’m just being mean and I should be more generous, not expecting to receive anything from the others. I need to think it over.

The Internet is not working! I am addicted to my electronic inbox. All right, now it’s working again, but I didn’t receive any e-mails. I receive about 20-30 e-mails per day, but only 5 are addressed to me, the rest are advertisements. I receive the most e-mails on Monday and Tuesday, on Friday I don’t receive e-mails from the institutions, and on Saturday and Sunday I only receive advertisements.

It felt strange in Romania, I didn’t have the feeling of returning home, but to a place dear, very well-known to me, but not my home. I felt the same thing I usually feel when I go, for instance, to Italy; maybe I’m exaggerating just a little. What I mean is that I arrived in a place with a familiar air, smell, atmosphere, but something was missing. From Claudiu’s car, who took me from the airport, I could recognize the places, the streets, the buildings and nevertheless felt they were very different.

Although it was Christmas and one could listen to the perennial Christmas carols of Hruøcæ at the airport, at every gas station and in the city, I haven’t felt anything

îi înfleleg. Bænuiesc cæ aceastæ reacflie, refuzul de a accepta schimbarea øi refuzul de a vedea sau de a vorbi despre România, vine dintr-o fricæ de durere, dintr-o dorinflæ de a-øi pæstra în ordine sentimentele, pentru a evita un disconfort interior øi pentru a se conserva. Singura realitate acceptatæ vis-a-vis de România este doar cea a crimelor prezentate la øtirile de la ora 5, de pe PRO TV. Væd cæ ninge afaræ øi astæzi trebuie sæ merg la englezæ. Nu-mi place sæ conduc pe ghiaflæ, mæ simt nesigur. Totul mi se trage de la Peaugeot-ul æsta al meu, care este foarte instabil. La vitezæ mare, simfli cæ zbori de pe øosea.

N-am mai fost de o lunæ la englezæ øi am senzaflia cæ am uitat tot. Nu øtiu ce am, dar eu øi engleza nu ne împæcæm prea bine. Este cam penibil sæ nu øtii englezæ, æsta este înca un motiv sæ mæ scol la ora 6. Trebuie sæ fiu mai disciplinat.

Ce chestie! Iar mi-a scris Gunilla. În timp ce mæ întorceam de la grædiniflæ ningea frumos, însæ acum s-a oprit. Sînt minus 8 grade øi mi-a fost frig la picioare. Ascult Pavel Stratan, dar nu mæ prea pasioneazæ. Este chiar „de porc“.

Am primit un pachet cu filme, muzicæ øi cærfli din România, de la rude øi prieteni. În general, primesc mult material nou din flaræ.

Ieri m-am supærat pe Kuki. M-am enervat cæ mi-a pus în guræ lucruri pe care nu le-am spus.

Sînt nemulflumit de multe lucruri din viafla mea, dar nu pot sæ le pun pe tarabæ aøa, direct, øi cel mai enervant este atunci cînd o face altcineva în numele meu.

Mi-am reinstalat Windows-ul. Nu øtiu cum, iar am luat un virus. Cel puflin de douæ ori pe an trebuie sæ iau un virus øi, bineînfleles, sæ reinstalez sistemul operativ. Este un fel de ritual. Dacæ nu este virus, atunci se „agaflæ“ Windows-ul øi începe sæ meargæ greu computerul. Se întîmplæ asta de la jocurile lui Iona. Apropo de jocuri. Am avut øi eu un joc, exact nu mai øtiu cum se numea, oricum, acfliunea avea loc în cel de-al Doilea Ræzboi Mondial. Eram foarte prost ca „soldat“, mæ omorau æia mereu. Dupa cîteva sæptæmîni, am renunflat sæ-l mai joc, pentru cæ mæ simfleam ameflit dupæ ce jucam, iar noaptea cînd mæ culcam, încæ mi se mai derulau imaginile prin fafla ochilor. Lupta continua o perioadæ øi înainte de a adormi. L-am dezinstalat dupæ un timp. Mi-am dat seama cæ jocurile nu sînt pentru mine.

Aøtept un e-mail din Chile, øi nu mai vine. Nu suport sæ aøtept, mæ înnebuneøte. Astept o invitaflie pentru a prezenta Dacia øi Pasajul acolo. Am aflat cæ este vacanfla de varæ la ei. Ce ciudat mi se pare. Deøi øtiu cæ atunci cînd la noi este iarnæ la ei este varæ, totuøi îmi vine greu sæ înfleleg acest lucru.

A venit poøta, mæ duc sæ væd ce a venit. Plæfli øi National Geografic-ul lui Iona, peste care nici nu se mai uitæ. Am sæ întrerup abonamentul.

M-am sculat la ora 6 astæzi, øi mæ simt foarte bine. A nins øi astæzi toata ziua. Este superb afaræ øi încæ mai ninge. Sînt minus 7 grade. Iona øi Iancu au stat acasæ. Ne-am înfleles foarte bine.

Le-am facut sæ mænînce lasagna; a ieøit excelent. Mai încolo, mæ apuc cu Iona sæ facem o plæcintæ cu mere øi, dupæ aceia, ieøim sæ ne jucam în zæpadæ. Kuki este la Zara sæ-mi cumpere o cæmaøæ øi niste chestii. Iar la noapte vreau sæ væd, împreunæ cu Iona øi Kuki, Pistruaitul, pe care l-am primit de la Dan. M-a sunat Kuki sæ-mi spunæ cæ sînt tone de lucruri la reducere øi sæ mæ întrebe dacæ vreau sæ-mi cumpere floale. Ah, ce bucurie a cæzut pe capul meu.

Sæ nu uit: sæptæmîna trecutæ, cînd am fost la Hemsöp, alimentara din apropierea blocului meu, am observat cæ tofli muncitorii care lucrau la reamenajarea magazinului vorbeau ruseøte. Trebuie sæ spun cæ imediat am remarcat cæ în aer plutea o indignare generalæ. Oamenii se uitau ostil la acei muncitori, la acei intruøi pe care nu-i înflelegau ce vorbesc. Iar ieri, cînd am fost la un magazin de haine din centrul Stockholmului, se întîmpla ceva ciudat: o parte din angajaflii magazinului nu øtiau suedeza, în schimb vorbeau engleza. Aøa ceva, cu cîfliva ani în urmæ, ar fi fost imposibil de imaginat.

N-am væzut încæ Pistruiatul, pentru cæ Kuki a adormit cînd îl culca pe Iancu, øi m-am uitat împreuna cu Iona, care voia sæ vadæ ceva „action“, la Haiducii lui øapte cai. Mamæ, mamæ, ce porcærie! Este varzæ filmul æsta. Am fost totuøi fascinat de Florin Piersic. Am fost impresionat de tinereflea lui, øi pot spune cu mîna pe inimæ cæ era un bærbat superb. Într-o flaræ cu o cinematografie puternicæ, omul æsta ar fi ajuns mare.

Mi-a scris cineva pe Messenger cæ sînt minus 20 de grade la Bucureøti. Aici sînt minus 7, a fost o temperaturæ constantæ în ultimele 5 zile. Din fericire, nu bate vîntul.

I thought I would feel. I haven’t spent the Christmas in the country since ’94, since I got married and I’ve been planning for long to spend the Christmas and the holidays in Romania, with the loved ones. I felt that Romania has estranged from me, that it is now as estranged as Sweden. I think about those who refuse to come back, even to visit their homes, I also think about what they were trying to tell me, all those who I talked to and I didn’t understand at the time when I came to Sweden, including my parents. Even now I don’t know if I understand them. I suppose this reaction, the refusal to accept the change and the refusal to see or to talk about Romania comes from a certain fear of getting hurt, from the desire of keeping one’s feelings in order, to avoid an interior unconfortableness and preserve oneself. The only accepted Romanian reality is that of the crimes presented by PRO TV’s five o’clock news.

I can see it’s snowing outside and I have my English class today. I hate driving on ice, I feel insecure. It’s because this Peugeot of mine, which is very instable. At high speeds, you feel like flying off the road.

It’s been a month since my last English class and I feel like I forgot everything. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but English and I don’t get along very well. Not knowing English is a little embarrassing; this is another reason for my waking up at 6 o’clock.

I have to be more disciplined.

What do you know! Gunilla wrote me again yesterday.

As I returned from the kindergarten it was snowing beautifully, but it stopped now.

There are 8 grades below zero and my feet felt cold. I’m listening to Pavel Stratan, but I’m not much into it. It really sucks. I received a package with movies, music and books from Romania, from relatives and friends. I usually get a lot of new material from the country.

Yesterday I got upset on Kuki. I was irritated that she put things I’ve never said in my mouth. There are many things in my life that I’m not satisfied with, but I can’t expose them just like this, and the most annoying thing is when somebody does it for me.

I reinstalled Windows; I don’t know why, but once again I had a virus. At least twice a year I succeed to get myself a virus and, of course, reinstall the system. It’s a kind of ritual. If it’s not a virus, then Windows gets jammed and the computer starts to work slowly. It’s from Iona’s games. Speaking of games. I once had a game, I don’t exactly remember its name, however, it took place during the Second World War. I was a very bad “soldier”, they kept killing me. After a couple of weeks, I gave up playing, because I felt dizzy after that, and at night, when I went to bed, the images were still passing before my eyes. The fight continued for sometime before I went asleep.

I uninstalled after a while. I realized that I’m not the gamer type.

I’m waiting for an e-mail from Chile and it doesn’t come. I can’t stand to wait, it drives me crazy. I’m waiting for an invitation to present Dacia and Pasajul there. I found out that it’s the summer holiday there. It seems so strange! Although I know that when it’s winter here, it’s summer for them, it’s hard for me to understand it.

The mail came; I’m going to check it out. Bills and Iona’s National Geographic, which he doesn’t even look upon anymore. I’m going to end up the subscription.

Today I woke up at 6 and I’m feeling all right. It snowed all day, too. It’s gorgeous outside and still snowing. There are 7 degrees below zero outside. Iona and Iancu stayed home. We got along very well. I made lassane for them: it came out excellent.

Later on, I’ll start making an apple pie with Iona and after that we’ll go outside to play in the snow. Kuki is at Zara, buying me a shirt and some stuff. And tonight I want to watch, together with Iona and Kuki, Pistruiatul, which I received from Dan. Kuki called and told me that there are tones of things on sale, asking me if I wanted to buy myself some clothes. The joy on me...

Let’s not forget: last week, when I went to Hemsöp, the store next to my building, I noticed that all workers which were rearranging the store were speaking in Russian.

I have to say that there was a sense of indignation floating in the air. People looked with hostility at those workers, those intruders they could not understand. And yesterday, at a clothing store, something strange happened: some of the employees didn’t speak Swedish, but they spoke English. It’s impossible to imagine something like that happening a few years ago.

27

galerie Am vorbit la telefon cu Jaw. Se va întîlni în oraø cu Palle, Valeria øi cu Romanouski; parcæ øi pregætesc o expoziflie aici, în Stockholm. Mæ întreabæ dacæ vreau sæ particip øi eu cu Pasajul. L-am spus cæ da.

Iancu vrea sæ se uite toatæ ziua la Spiderman. Bineînfleles cæ noi nu-l læsæm. Se crede Spiderman øi am emoflii din pricina asta. Îmi este fricæ sæ nu saræ pe geam. Am vorbit cu el despre asta øi sper cæ a înfleles. Mænîncæ orice este roøu, pentru cæ vrea sæ aibæ pînzæ ca Spiderman. Îi place øi pizza, pentru cæ Spiderman distribuia pizza. Stæ prin casæ într-un costum ca al lui Spiderman, pe care l-a primit cadou de la Øtefan, veriøorul lui de la Bucureøti. Spune cæ vrea s-o salveze pe Kuki øi pe bunica.

Ieri am avut musafiri, a venit pe la noi Simona Ghiflæ, actrifla de la Bucureøti. A fost la Malmö cu un spectacol. Ne-am plimbat puflin prin centrul oraøului, prin cele mai turistice zone posibile. Ne-am întîlnit øi cu Kuki, la ora 12, în Gamla Stan, øi am mîncat într-un loc miøto, însæ mîncarea nu era prea bunæ, cel puflin somonul lui Kuki, care aræta øi avea gust de burete. Eu øi Simona am mîncat curcan, øi era destul de bun. La ora 3 a trebuit sæ mæ întorc acasæ, sæ-l iau pe Iancu de la grædiniflæ.

M-am enervat foarte tare pe Iona. Tot timpul are probleme cu DVD-ul, care nu mai vrea sæ funcflioneze tocmai atunci cînd vrea el sæ se uite la un film. Am explodat øi am dat cu telecomanda de pæmînt. Mæ simt îngrozitor acum. Sînt un mare prost øi un tatæ stresat øi traspirat.

A început sæ plouæ. Este prima zi cu plus, dupæ douæ sæptæmîni cu minus. Este plus un grad.

Kuki øi copiii au plecat sæ se plimbe pe afaræ.

Caut pe internet o telecomandæ nouæ.

Am visat azi-noapte! N-am mai fæcut-o de nici nu mai flin minte de cînd. Am visat cæ trebuia sæ plec în Olanda cu Doru Dricu, un prieten de aici din Suedia, sæ vindem niøte castroane de aur, pe care el le primise de la bunica lui. Nu øtiu de ce, dar noi ne gæseam în Bucureøti, în Colentina, adicæ foarte aproape de blocul unde am locuit eu. Eram într-un tramvai cu castroanele alea de aur, pe care le flineam într-o pungæ albæ semi-transparentæ. La staflia Teiul Doamnei, s-a urcat un tip cu un cîine, iar æsta s-a repezit sæ mænînce din fasolea bætutæ dintr-un castron. Doru s-a supærat cînd a vazut cæ-l las sæ mænînce din mînacarea bunicii. În timp ce-mi explica cît de mult fline la aceste obiecte, brusc, tot tramvaiul s-a umplut de lume øi, în înghesuiala aia, a apærut un controlor. Pentru cæ nu aveam bilet, i-am spus cæ „m-am urcat din greøealæ în tramvai øi cæ, de fapt, vreau sæ cobor“. Controlorul, îmbræcat într-un costum foarte elegant øi modern, mi-a spus cæ nu-i nici o problemæ, pot coborî. Am coborît, øi, de pe refugiul stafliei de tramvai, tot încercam sæ-i explic controlorului cæ este vorba de o greøealæ, øi atunci a început muzica în sufragerie øi m-am trezit. Kuki a dat drumul la muzicæ. Am ræmas marcat de noile clædiri futuriste pe care l-am væzut în vis. Colentina era superbæ, øi tramvaiul era ultra modern.

Ieri, deøi a fost duminicæ, a fost totuøi o zi oribilæ; ne-am certat cu toflii toatæ ziua. Nu øtiu ce a fost cu noi. De dimineaflæ, am distrus telecomanda, am urlat ca un dement, am stat dupæ aia pe net sæ caut altæ telecomandæ. Am fost la Kista, la un magazin, øi am cumpærat o telecomandæ universalæ, dar care nu a mers la DVD-ul meu. Am dus-o înapoi øi am cæutat pe net altæ telecomandæ. Iar am urlat, a urlat øi Kuki, au urlat øi copiii. Iar noaptea, ca totul sæ se termine în aceeaøi notæ, eu cu Iona ne-am uitat la Terminator 3. A fost groaznic.

M-a sunat mama sæ-mi spunæ cæ în Bucureøti a murit un om de afaceri japonez, muøcat de un cîine. Muøcætura i-a secflionat o venæ øi a pierdut prea mult sînge. A murit la Spitalul de Urgenflæ.

Am început de 4 zile un curs care se numeøte „Identitate øi profilare“. Învefli cum sæ te prezinfli ca artist, sæ-fli defineøti „piafla“ øi sæ te „împachetezi“. Sînt multe chestii pe care le øtiu, pe care l-am auzit din alte pærfli, de la muncæ, de la televizor, le-am citit prin ziare, dar pe care, în realitate, nu le-am aplicat niciodatæ pentru a mæ prezenta ca artist. Poate de jenæ sau poate de lene nu am fæcut-o. Nu pofli sæ apari cu portofoliul sub brafl, sæ ridici din sprînceanæ, sæ te uifli cu o siguranflæ de neclintit în ochii interlocutorului, øi sæ începi sæ te vinzi precum un vînzætor ambulant. Cursul este flinut de doi tipi, unul te învaflæ cum sæ-fli faci o prezentare digitalæ sub forma de CD-Rom, iar al doilea este cu PR-ul. Mîine vine un „guru“, care a „împachetat“ multe firme aici, în Suedia. Sincer sæ fiu, sînt curios sæ-l aud ce spune.

Afaræ ninge de rupe. Îmi place mult zapada, mæ liniøteøte. Totuøi, abia aøtept primævara. Primævara este anotimpul în care sufær cel mai mult. Este chiar culmea. Exact atunci cînd ar trebui sæ renasc, dupæ o iarnæ lungæ øi de multe ori plictisitoare, pe mine mæ apucæ alergia. Sînt aler-

Haven’t seen Pistruiatul yet, because Kuki fell asleep when putting Iancu to sleep and I watched Haiducii lui sapte cai with Iona, who wanted some “action”. Wow, what a piece of crap! This movie is far-out. Nevertheless, I was fascinated by Florin Piersic.

I was impressed by his youth and I can say from all my heart that he was a superb man. This man would have turned huge in a country with a powerful cinematography.

Someone wrote to me on Messenger that there are 20 degrees below zero in Bucharest. There are minus 7 here, which has been the constant temperature for the last five days. Fortunately, there is no wind.

I spoke with Jaw on the phone. He’s going to meet Palle, Valeria and Romanouski in the city; they seem to be preparing an exhibition here, in Stockholm. He asked me if I wanted to join in, with Pasajul. I said yes.

Iancu wants to watch Spiderman all day. Of course we wouldn’t allow it. He thinks he’s Spiderman and I’m nervous about it. I’m afraid he might jump out of the window.

We talked about it and I hope he understood. He eats anything that is red, because he wants a web like Spiderman’s. He likes pizza because Spiderman delivers pizza. He sits around the house in a Spiderman outfit, which he received from ªtefan, his cousin from Bucharest. He says he wants to save Kuki and Grandma.

Yesterday we had guests, Simona Ghi˛ã, an actress from Bucharest, came by. She had a show in Malmö. We had a short walk around the city centre, visiting the touristiest area possible. We also met with Kuki, at 12 o’clock, at Gamla Stan, and we had dinner at a very cool place, but the food was not very good, at least Kuki’s salmon, looking and tasting like sponge. I and Simona had turkey, pretty tasty. At 3 o’clock I had to return home, to pick up Iancu from the kindergarten.

I got so angry at Iona. He’s always having trouble with the DVD player, which stops working just when he wants to watch a movie. I burst out and I smashed the remote.

Now I feel awful. I am such an idiot and a stressed and a sweaty father.

It started to rain. It’s the first day with plus, after two weeks with below zero temperatures. It’s one degree plus zero. Kuki and the kids went outside for a walk.

I’m looking for a new remote control on the Internet.

Last night I had a dream! I can’t remember the last time I did. I dreamt about having to leave for Holland with Doru Dricu, a friend from Sweden, to sell some golden bowls he received from his grandma. I don’t know why, but we were in Bucharest, Colentina, that is very close to the building I used to live in. We were in the tramway, with those golden bowls in a white semi-transparent bag. At the Teiul Doamnei stop, a guy with a dog stepped in and the dog pitched into the beans we had in a bowl. Doru got upset because I let the dog eat from grandma’s dish. As he explained to me how much he cared for those objects, suddenly the tramway crowded up and, from that crowd, a ticket inspector turned out. I didn’t have a ticket and I told him that “I accidentally got up on the tramway and that, in fact, I wanted to get down”. The ticket inspector, dressed in a fancy, modern suit, told me that there was no problem, that I could get down. I did so and on the tramway stop refuge I kept trying to explain the inspector that this is a mistake; then the music started in the living and I woke up. It was Kuki who turned the music on. I was marked by the new futuristic buildings that I saw in the dream. Colentina was gorgeous and the tramway was ultra modern.

Although it was Sunday, yesterday was a terrific day; we quarreled all day long.

I don’t know what was wrong with us. From the very morning I smashed the remote, I yelled like a madman, afterwards I spent time on the net looking for another remote control. I went to Kista, to a store, and I bought a universal remote control, which didn’t fit my DVD player. I took it back and I looked for another one on the net. I yelled again, Kuki yelled too, the kids also yelled. And at night, so that things end up the way they started, me and Iona watched Terminator 3. It was awful.

Mother called to tell me that a Japanese businessman died from a dog bite. The bite severed a vein and he lost too much blood. He died at The Emergency Hospital.

Four days ago I started a course called “Identity and Shaping”. You learn how to pres-

gic la pæmînt, iarbæ, pisici, polen, dar cel mai ræu îmi face floarea de mesteacæn. Este o pacoste.

Suedia este plinæ de mesteceni. Trebuie sæ iei niøte medicamente care, de fapt, te moleøesc.

Ar trebui sæ fac un tratament sau sæ-mi fac un vaccin, dar mereu uit, pentru cæ exact din prima zi în care alergia a dispærut øi mæ simt bine din nou, am uitat tot ce a fost. De obicei, mæ fline cam douæ luni, însæ doar una este rea de tot. Îmi dau cu tot felul de spray-uri în gît, iau pastile, pentru cæ altfel nu pot dormi din cauza crizelor de tuse. Uneori tuøesc pînæ vomit. Am sæ dau zilele astea un telefon la policlincæ, sæ întîlnesc un medic, poate îmi face o injecflie øi scap anul æsta de chinuri. Aøa spun în fiecare an.

Am început sæ desenez. Fac niøte schifle pentru nu øtiu ce. M-a bîntuit de multæ vreme o poftæ de desen øi de picturæ. Cred cæ mæ gîndesc la desenele astea de 4–5 ani, poate øi mai mult.

Nu øtiu exact ce am sæ fac sau cum øi unde am sæ ajung, dar øtiu cæ am poftæ sæ desenez. De 8 ani n-am mai desenat. Desenez prost. M-am îndrægostit de pictorii prerafaelifli øi, în special, de Ofelia lui Sir John Everett Millais, care chiar mæ obsedeazæ. Nu pot sæ spun exact de ce, dar în acest moment lucrarea asta îmi ocupæ o mare parte din gînduri. Îmi stæ acolo lipitæ. Trebuie s-o væd pe viu. Am sæ mæ duc la Londra s-o væd. Nu pot sæ spun cæ sînt interesat de poveste, cel puflin pînæ acum n-am fost. Îmi place pictura asta øi trebuie s-o væd cît mai repede.

Iar ninge. Mæ simt în siguranflæ cînd ninge.

Trebuie sæ fac de mîncare. Am poftæ de mæmæligæ, iar asta îi place øi lui Iancu. Iona trebuie sæ vinæ de la øcoalæ, øi dupæ aia se duce la Kuki, la atelier, sæ-l învefle sæ ciocæneascæ metalul. Vrea sæ facæ un medalion din tablæ. Eu am sæ merg cu Iancu la un patinoar, aici, în Vällingby. N-am nici un chef de aøa ceva, dar trebuie sæ fiu un tatæ cumsecade. Am desenat din nou.

A fost ziua mea. N-am avut invitafli. Nu mæ mai bucur de mult cînd este ziua mea. Nici mæcar nu mai înfleleg de ce trebuie sæ te bucuri atunci cînd practic devii mai bætrîn cu un an. Din acelaøi motiv, Anul Nou, Revelionul mæ terminæ. Este cea mai tîmpitæ zi din an. Mæ deprimæ exuberanafla mulflimii. Mæ întreb de ce se bucuræ lumea sau, mai bine zis, de ce trebuie sæ se manifeste aøa.

Tocmai am intrat în casæ. Am fost cu Iancu la un mini-patinoar. Nu prea s-a omorît cu patinatul, dar ne-am jucat frumos. S-a aruncat øi s-a tævælit prin toata zæpada. Cînd am intrat în casæ, Iancu era ud pîna la chilofli, dar era ferict. Mîine mergem din nou, dar de data asta îl luæm øi pe Iona.

Astæzi a nins iaraøi toatæ ziua. Cred cæ niciodatæ nu a nins aøa de mult. Nu este vorba de cantitate, ci de perioada de timp. Ninge de atîta timp, dar stratul de zæpadæ nu este, totuøi, prea mare. fiin minte cæ în primii ani, era zæpadæ doar douæ, trei zile, maximum o sæptæmînæ. Eram stupefiat, pentru cæ îmi imaginam cæ aici voi gæsi zæpezi veønice, cæ voi învafla sæ schiez øi sæ patinez, dar în 12 ani am schiat doar de douæ ori, iar de patine nici nu s-a pus problema. Îmi tot vin pe e-mail reclame la viagra øi la diferite produse electronice. Este foarte iritant. Îmi controlez e-mailul de zeci de ori pe zi. Sînt dependent de internet.

N-am fost la patinoar, aøa cum mi-am propus.

Ieri am fost cu Kuki la IKEA, sæ cumpæræm niøte chestii pentru casæ øi am trecut øi pe la El Giganten, sæ caut o maøinæ de tuns. Deøi trec relativ des prin magazinele de electronicæ, de unde îmi cumpar CD-uri sau DVD-uri, totuøi, la restul produselor, nu mæ uit. Ieri am stat mult sæ mæ uit, øi recunosc cæ am avut un øoc sæ descopær cît de mult s-au transformat produsele electronice, în special camerele foto digitale øi telefoanele. Toate sînt minuscule, plate øi parcæ se agaflæ de mîna ta. Îfli spun „cumpæræ-mæ, cumpæræ-mæ…“. Abia am putut sæ plec de acolo doar cu o maøinæ de tuns în mînæ. Îmi venea sæ cumpær lucruri de zeci de mii de coroane.

A sunat telefonul øi m-au întrebat dacæ vreau sæ mæ abonez la un ziar, la Dagens Nyheter.

Le-am spus cæ nu.

Trebuie sæ fac de mîncare. Iona ar trebui sæ vinæ de la øcoalæ øi nu este nimic de mîncare. Iancu doarme în camera lui. N-a fost la grædiniflæ de trei zile. A avut temperaturæ øi tuøeøte. Astæzi, cînd a strænutat, i-a curs sînge din nas. Nici nu prea are poftæ de mîncare. I-am stors 4 portocale øi a mîncat douæ felii de pîine cu miere. Nu øtiu ce sæ fac de mîncare. A, era sæ uit. Am scos de dimineaflæ niøte foietaj, din care vreau sæ fac plæcintæ cu mere.

M-a sunat Iona øi mi-a spus cæ este la Bauan. I-am spus sæ vinæ la 5.

Am descærcat de pe net, în ultimele zile, o græmadæ de muzicæ øi filme. M-am sæturat de tot ce aveam prin casæ, øi am facut o fæcut o nouæ „capturæ“. De data asta, am descærcat mai ales

ent yourself as an artist, to define the “market” and to “wrap” yourself. There are many things I know, which I heard elsewhere, at work, on TV, in the papers, which, in fact, I never used to present myself as an artist. Maybe I was embarrassed or lazy.

You can’t just show up holding your portfolio under your arm, raise your eyebrow, look your interlocutor in the eyes, unbeatable confident, and start selling yourself like a commercial traveler. The course is held by two guys; one of them teaches you how to create a digital presentation on a CD-Rom, the other one is responsible for PR. Tomorrow we shall meet a “guru”, who has “wrapped” a lot of companies here, in Sweden.

I have to admit I’m curious about it.

It’s snowing like hell outside. I like the snow a lot, it comforts me. Nevertheless, I can’t wait for the spring. Spring is the season I suffer the most. It’s simply not fair. Just when I’m supposed to revive, after a long and often boring winter, I get allergic.

I am allergic to dust, grass, cats, pollen, but the birch flower hurts me the most. It’s a pain in the ass. Sweden is full of birches. One has to take some drugs, which really make you drowsy. I should treat myself or get myself vaccinated, but I always forget, because the first day the allergy is gone and I feel good again, I forget everything that happened. It usually lasts two months, of which one is the worst. I use all kinds of neck-sprays, I take pills, otherwise I can’t fall asleep because of the coughing attacks.

Sometimes I cough until I throw up. One of these days I’m going to call up the polyclinic, to see a doctor; maybe he’ll give me a shot to get rid off pain this year. I say this every year.

I started to draw. I’m making some kind of sketches. I have been haunted for sometime by an urge to paint and draw. I must be thinking of these drawings for 4–5 years, maybe more. I don’t exactly know what I am going to do, how or what I am heading for, but I know I feel like drawing. I haven’t drawn for 8 years. I’m a bad drawer. I fell in love with the pre-Raphaelite painters and especially with Sir John Everett Millais’ Ophelia, which I am obsessed with. I can’t say for sure why, but right now this work is in a lot of my thoughts. It sticks in there. I must see it for real. I will go to London to see it. I can’t say I’m interested in its story, at least not so far. I like this painting and I have to see it as soon as possible.

It’s snowing again. I feel safe when it snows.

I have to cook. I feel like eating some mæmæligæ and Iancu likes it, too. Iona has to return from school and after that he is going to Kuki’s studio, to learn how to knock the iron. He wants to make an iron plate medallion. I’m taking Iancu to a skating rink here, in Vällingby. I don’t feel like it at all, but I have to be a nice father. I drew again.

It was my birthday. I didn’t have any guests. It’s long since I felt happy for my birthday. I don’t even understand anymore why you have to be happy, when you practically get older with a year. For the same reason, The New Year’s Eve brings me down.

It’s the silliest day in the year. The exuberance of the crowd depresses me. I wonder why are the people happy or why do they have to show it like this.

We just entered the house. I took Iancu to a mini skating rink. He didn’t care much for skating, but we played nicely. He threw himself in the snow and wallowed in it. When we entered the house, Iancu was wet from tip to toe, but he was happy. Tomorrow we will go again, but this time we are taking Iona with us.

Today it snowed all day again. I guess it snowed more than ever. I’m not talking about quantity, but about the period of time. It snows for so long, but the snow layer is not too thick. I remember that in the first years, the snow lasted for two or three days, maybe one week. I was shocked, because I imagined finding everlasting snows here, that I shall learn how to ski and skate, but in 12 years I’ve only skied twice; as about skating, no way.

I keep receiving advertisements for Viagra and other electronic products on my e-mail.

It’s very annoying. I check my e-mail tens of times a day. I’m addicted to the internet.

We didn’t go to the skating rink, although we planned to.

Yesterday I was with Kuki at IKEA to buy some things for the house and stopped at El Giganten, to look for a hair clipper. Although I’m a regular client of the electronics stores, where I buy CDs any DVDs, I don’t care for the other products. Yesterday I spent much time watching, and I must admit that I was shocked to see how much

galerie muzica clasicæ, Mozart & comp. Am mai descærcat øi niøte Cassavettes øi Antonioni; aveam chef de Blow Up. Îmi place la nebunie cum fline tipul camera foto în mîna øi pantalonii æia albi, strînøi pe corp. De multe ori, m-am îmbræcat la fel. Ce senzaflie! Îmi amintesc de liceu øi de teribilismele acelei perioade. Cred cæ este filmul care m-a influenflat cel mai mult în privinfla esteticii vestimentare.

Sînt minus 7 grade afaræ øi este un soare tæios. Este o plæcere sæ te plimbi pe afaræ, deøi este frig. Acum este clar cæ, peste puflin timp, vine primavara øi am sæ reînviu. Postaøul a adus un maldær de reclame. Lunea vin cele mai multe reclame. Iona are vacanflæ astæzi, øi va sta acasæ toatæ sæptæmîna. Acum se joaca afaræ cu un prieten.

N-am lucrat aproape nimic în ultimele patru zile. Iancu este ræcit øi nu l-am dus la grædiniflæ. A fost foarte cuminte, dar totuøi n-am putut sæ lucrez nimic. Acum este în sufragerie, se uitæ la televizor la Albæ ca zæpada. A intrat în perioada „Albæ ca zæpada“. Cînd vine Kuki de la atelier, trebuie sæ cumpær mîncare. Frigiderul este gol. Cel mai stresat este Iona. Cînd observæ cæ frigiderul a început sæ se goleascæ, ne dæ primul semnal øi, dupæ aia, urmeazæ alte semnale, cu o anumitæ intensitate. Cel mai grav este cînd nu mai este lapte. Iona se simte în siguranflæ atîta timp cît frigiderul este umplut ochi. Bænuiesc cæ aøa înflelege el cæ noi nu avem probleme øi cæ totul este în ordine – mama øi tata sînt OK. Cred cæ asta o are de la mine. Atît timp cît contul din bancæ este plin, sînt liniøtit. Iar cum ajunge la zero, cum mæ apucæ depresiile, nervii, devin brusc stresat. Din fericire, Kuki nu este ca noi. Ea dæ echilibrul în casæ.

Este ora 16.48, øi Iancu mai doarme. A dormit cam douæ ore jumætate. De dimineflæ ne-am jucat în sufragerie. Am costruit turnuri, pe care Iancu le-a dærîmat. Îi place sæ se uite pe cærfli øi sæ vorbeøti cu el. Vorbeøte enorm. Pune cele mai imposibile întrebæri. De exemplu, „de ce îi plac lui Spiderman culorile roøu, albastru øi alb“. Iancu spune la albastru balbastru. Încæ nu mi-am cumpærat telecomandæ, øi nu pot sæ væd anumite filme. Astazi vreau sæ trimit prin internet ordinul de cumpærare. S-au strîns mai multe lucruri de care am nevoie, øi am sæ le comand pe toate.

A murit Laura Stoica într-un accident rutier pe DN 2. Acum mi-a spus Simona. Era gravidæ în luna a treia. Se afla împreunæ cu logodnicul ei, se întorceau la Bucureøti de la un spectacol. A intrat o Dacie papuc în ei. fiin minte doar Un actor græbit. Nu mi-a plæcut niciodatæ ce cînta.

Mereu îmi bæteam joc de ea cînd o vedeam la televizor, îi spuneam „Laura Gaura“. Mæ gîndesc la terciul æla de carne øi metal. Sînt dærîmat.

Iar a sunat telefonul. De data asta, era o ofertæ de chilofli. Le-am spus cæ nu sînt interesat. Æøtia cu chiloflii sunæ cam o datæ la douæ, trei luni. Îmi spun cæ am cîøtigat un concurs øi cæ îmi trimit trei perechi de chilofli gratis. Mereu le ræspund cæ nu sînt interesat. Nu cæ n-aø avea nevoie de chilofli, dar mæ enervezæ ideea. N-am cîøtigat niciodatæ în viafla mea vreun premiu, n-am primit nici la øcoalæ premiu, øi, zæu, cæ ar fi trist ca unicul meu premiu sæ fie trei perechi de chilofli.

the electronics have changed, especially the digital photo cameras and the telephones. They are all tiny, flat and they seem to grab you by the hand saying: “buy me, buy me...” It was hard for me to leave just with a hair clipper. I felt like buying things that are worth tens of thousands or crowns.

The telephone rang and they asked me if I wanted to subscribe for a paper, Dagens Nyheter. I said no.

I have to cook. Iona should be back from school and there’s nothing to eat. Iancu is sleeping in his room. He hasn’t been to the kindergarten for three days. He had the fever and he coughs. Today, when he sneezed, blood came out of his nose. He’s not too hungry. I squeezed 4 oranges for him and he had two toasts with honey. I don’t know what to cook. Oh, I almost forgot. I took out some pastry this morning, for baking an apple pie.

Iona called and told me he was at Bauan. I told him to come at 5.

In the last days I downloaded a lot of music and films from the Internet. I was fed up with everything I had in the house and I made a new “capture”. This time I downloaded especially classical music, Mozart & comp. I also downloaded some Cassavettes and Antonnioni; I was in the mood for Blow Up. I love the way that guy holds the camera and those white, stretchy pants. I dressed like that a lot of times. What a feeling!

I remember high-school and the excesses of that time. I think this movie had the greatest influence on the way I dress.

There are seven degrees below zero outside and a intense sun. Although it’s cold, it’s a pleasure to walk outside. It is obvious now that, not after long, the spring will come and I will revive. The mailman brought a pile of advertisements. Most advertisements arrive on Monday. For Iona, today is a holiday and he is going to stay at home for the entire week. Now he’s playing outside with a friend.

I haven’t worked almost at all for the last four days. Iancu has a cold and I didn’t take him to the kindergarten. He was very quiet, but I couldn’t work anyway. He’s in the living-room now, watching Snow-White on TV. He is in the Snow-White phase. When Kuki returns from the studio, I have to buy some food. The refrigerator is empty. Iona is most nervous about it. When he sees that the refrigerator starts to empty, he gives us the first signal; others are following, more intense. The worst is when there is no milk.

Iona feels safe as long as the refrigerator is stuffed. I guess that’s the way he understands that there are no problems and that everything is all right – mother and father are O.K. I think that he inherited it from me. As long as the banking account is full, I’m calm. But when it goes to zero, I feel depressed, nervous, stressed. Fortunately, Kuki is not like us. She gives our home a sense of equilibrium.

Vinerea trecutæ a fost o zi plinæ. N-am prea avut de mult o zi ca asta. La ora 13.00 am fost la un interviu pentru o slujbæ. Trebuie sæ fac un site, o „bancæ“ de informaflii culturale, ce va cuprinde toate resursele artistice ale acelei zone. Îmi place idea, dar îmi dau seama cæ este vorba de o muncæ enormæ. Interviul a mers bine. Practic, m-am dus acolo pentru o muncæ de web-designer, dar din discuflii m-au întrebat dacæ nu m-ar intresa sæ conduc un proiect, pentru cæ lor li se pare mai potrivitæ pentru mine aceastæ muncæ. Cred cæ, per ansamblu, am fæcut o impresie bunæ. Erau douæ tipe trecute de 45 øi un tip cam de 30. Erau simpatici øi pæreau interesafli de ce le spuneam. Am plecat de acolo cu senzaflia cæ munca este a mea. Oricum, nu vreau sæ mæ gîndesc prea mult la asta.

La ora 19.00, am fost cu Kuki sæ vedem un apartament cu patru camere, undeva în apropiere.

Planul nostru este sæ ne mutæm într-un apartament cu patru camere, øi sæ trasformæm unul din dormitoare în atelier. Nu ne-a plæcut de loc apartamentul respectiv. Era foarte înghesuit øi cam deprimant.

Seara, la ora 21.00, a venit Julio de la Madrid. Va sta la noi cinci zile. Lucræm împreunæ la un proiect.

It’s 16.48 and Iancu is still asleep. He’s been sleeping for two and a half hours.

This morning we played in the kitchen. We built towers, which Iancu broke down.

He likes to look on the books and to be talked to. He speaks enormously. He asks the most impossible questions. For example, “why does Spiderman love red, blue and white”. Iancu calls albastru balbastru.

Proiectul este aproape gata. Am lucrat în fiecare zi la el, øi fundaflia e pusæ. Simt cæ este solid øi îmi place mult. A ræmas sæ-l mai aranjæm, sæ-l „pieptænæm“.

A sunat un tip de la penitenciarul din Norrtälje, un oraø din nordul Stockholmului, sæ mæ întrebe dacæ vreau sæ lucrez la ei ca profesor de picturæ øi desen. Am cerut mai de mult slujba asta, pentru cæ mi se pærea interesantæ, dar acum sînt speriat. Nu este chiar aøa de plæcut sæ lucrezi cu criminali, pedofili, violatori ø.a.m.d. Trebuie sæ fii tare pentru o asemenea muncæ. Nu øtiu ce sæ fac.

The telephone rang again. This time, an underpants offer. I told them I was not interested. The underpants guys call every two or three months. They tell me I won a contest and that they are sending me three pairs of underpants for free. I always tell them I am not interested. It’s not that I don’t need the underpants, but it’s annoying. I’ve never won any prize in my life; I didn’t get any prize in school and it would really be a shame for my first prize to consist of three pairs of underpants.

I still haven’t bought a remote control and I can’t watch certain movies. I want to order it on the Internet. There are more things that I have to buy now and I’m going to order them all.

Laura Stoica died in a car crash on DN 2. Simona just told me that. She was three months pregnant. She was with her fiancé, returning to Bucharest from a show.

A Dacia truck ran into them. I only remember Un actor grãbit. I never liked what she played. I always made fun of her when she was on TV, I called her Laura Gaura. I keep thinking about that mess of flesh and metal. I’m devastated.

M-au sunat cei cu „banca“ cu informaflii culturale de pe internet, mi-au spus cæ m-au angajat øi am sæ încep munca la ei pe 3 aprilie. E o veste bunæ, care a picat la fix.

Am fost luni cu Julio la cinema Zeta øi am væzut ultimul film al lui Moodysson, Container. Era sæ vomit acolo. În viafla mea nu am væzut o mizerie mai mare. În salæ erau 6 connaisseuri, care savurau toate replicile. Oamenii æia m-au dezgustat cel mai tare. N-am rezistat pînæ la sfîrøit.

Mi-au trebuit cam 10 minute sæ stau afaræ øi sæ-mi revin din traumæ. Noroc cæ am uitat totul foarte repede. Nici nu vreau sæ mæ mai gîndesc.

Seara, am descærcat iar filme de pe net: tot ce am gæsit de Michael Haneke, King Kong øi Africa Addio, un documentar italian din 1966. Am descærcat øi muzicæ.

Am vorbit cu Gunilla, øi era fericitæ cæ mi-am gæsit slujba asta.

A plecat Julio øi a venit frate-miu cu familia. O sæ stea la noi pînæ luni. A venit sæ-øi depunæ actele pentru redobîndirea cetæfleniei române. Am s-o fac øi eu odatæ cu el. Nu mai sînt cetæflean român din 1998. Ne ducem mîine la ambasadæ.

Iancu a spart un geam cu capul. Este ceva nou la el sæ dea cu capul în uøi, geamuri, perefli, øi uite cæ acum a spart un geam cu capul. Bine cæ nu i-a intrat în ochi sau cæ nu s-a tæiat pe faflæ.

S-a speriat ræu øi cred cæ n-o sæ mai facæ asta. fiin minte cæ øi Iona a avut o perioadæ asemænætoare.

Este duminicæ dupæ-amizæ. Am dormit pe canapeaua din sufragerie, încælzit de soarele ce-mi bætea pe piept. Doar bîzîitul muøtelor îmi lipsea. Øtefan Constantinescu Stockholm

Last Friday was a full day. I haven’t had a day like that for a long time. At 1 P.M. I went to a job interview. I have to make a site, a cultural information “bank”, with all the artistic resources in the area. I like the idea, but I realize the enormous amount of work involved. The interview went well. I actually applied for a job as web-designer, but after talking they asked if I wasn’t interested in managing a project, as they thought this job would fit me better. I think I made a good impression, generally speaking. There were two women past 45 and a guy around 30. They were nice and they seemed interested in the things I said. I left with the feeling that I got the job.

However, I don’t want to think about it too much.

At 7 P.M. I went with Kuki to see an apartment with four rooms, somewhere nearby.

We plan to move in a four room apartment and redesign one of the bedrooms as a studio. We didn’t like that apartment at all. It was very crowded and very depressing.

In the evening, Julio came from Madrid. He will stay with us for four days. We are working on a project together.

The project is almost completed. We worked on it everyday and the foundation was laid. I can feel it’s strong and I like it a lot. It remains to be shaped and “receive another brush”.

A guy from the Norrtälje (a little town north of Stockholm) penitentiary called to ask if I wanted to work for them as a teacher of painting and drawing. I applied for this job some time ago, because I found it interesting, but now I’m scared. Working with criminals, pedophiles, rapists, etc is not quiet pleasant. One has got to be tough for a job like that. I don’t know what to do.

The people from the Internet cultural information “bank” called; they told me that I got the job and that I start on April 3. It’s good news, right on time.

On Monday I went with Julio at Cinema Zeta and we saw Moodysson’s last movie, Container. I nearly threw up on the spot. I’ve never seen such misery in my entire life.

There were 6 connoisseurs in the theatre, enjoying every line. Those people disgusted me the most. I didn’t make it to the end. I needed about 10 minutes outside to snap out of it. Lucky I forgot everything very quickly. I don’t even want to remember about it.

In the evening I downloaded movies from the Internet again: all the Michael Haneke I could find, King Kong and Africa Addio, an 1966 Italian documentary. I also downloaded some music.

I talked to Gunilla and she was happy I found this job.

Julio left and my brother and his family came. They will stay with us until Monday.

He came to file for Romanian citizenship. I’ll do the same thing. I stopped being a Romanian citizen in 1998. Tomorrow we will go to the embassy.

Iancu broke a window with his head. Breaking into doors, windows, walls it’s something new for him and now, look! he broke a window with his head. It’s lucky the glass didn’t get into his eyes or didn’t cut hid face. He was really scared and I think he’s not going to do it again. I remember Iona going through a phase like this.

It’s Sunday afternoon. I slept on the living-room couch from, warmed by the sun beating on my chest. The only thing missing was the buzz flies. Øtefan Constantinescu Stockholm

Translated by Alex Moldovan

Tom Sandquist*

Øtefan Constantinescu

1. Ce rol vrei sæ ai în lumea artei? Locul meu este în atelier sau în studio. Acolo vreau sæ duc la bun sfîrøit ce am început, sæ fac film de ficfliune, documentar, fotografie øi, bineînfleles, sæ pictez. Am mai multe idei de film, dar sînt conøtient cæ, pentru a face film, este nevoie de mult mai multe resurse materiale decît pentru oricare din proiectele mele din trecut.

2. Care este „credoul” tæu?

Uite, o sæ-fli dau douæ citate din „clasici” în viaflæ. Doru Borobeica (Boro pentru cunoscætori), basistul trupei rock Iris, i-a spus odatæ lui Ion Dumitrescu (Pralea), bateristul formafliei, cæ el crede cæ ar cam fi momentul schimbærii în sound-ul trupei, cæ ar fi bine sæ cînte ceva în genul lui Van Halen. „Ce cîntæm acum nu prea mai e la modæ”, era concluzia. Pralea i-a ræspuns simplu: „Bæi, noi trebuie s-o flinem pe a noastræ, ce øtim noi mai bine, TUF-TAF, TUF-TAF, TUF-TAF, øi sigur va veni øi ziua noastræ”. Instictiv, Ion Dumitrescu øi-a dat seama cæ trebuie sæ fie consecvenfli în activitatea lor artisticæ, cæ trebuie sæ-øi urmeze drumul, indiferent de mode.

Adrian Mutu, fotbalist profesionist care joacæ acum în Italia, la Juventus, a spus øi el odatæ o vorbæ miøto: „Un atacant are timp de 90 de minute cel puflin 3 ocazii de a înscrie. Una din ele trebuie sæ fie gol”. Ca øi în fotbal, øi în viaflæ, øi implicit în artæ, este imposibil sæ nu te întîlneøti cu cel puflin trei ocazii de „gol”; tot ce-i nevoie este sæ ai prezenfla de spirit, intuiflia øi curajul necesar la momentul potrivit. Adicæ, nu pledez pentru a fi un oportunist cinic øi pentru a specula færæ jenæ contextul de dragul succesului, ci pentru a construi cu ræbdare, pîna cînd urmætoarea treaptæ din drumul tæu se va ivi în mod natural. Tot ceea ce ræmîne de fæcut atunci este doar sæ urci acea treaptæ, sau, în cazul unui fotbalist, sæ marchezi.

3. De ce te-ai mutat din Bucureøti la Stockholm?

Øi în cazul meu, hazardul a jucat un rol important. Am venit aici, pentru reîntregirea familiei, în 1993. Tatæl meu venise în timpul comunismului, în 1987, în vizitæ la fratele lui, øi a ræmas aici. Mama øi fratele meu au plecat imediat dupa prima mineriadæ, în 1990. Iniflial, eram hotærît sæ nu plec nicæieri, eram foarte tînar øi cæderea comunismului crease o stare de exuberanflæ în rîndul generafliei mele. Am plecat totuøi, cu gîndul sæ-mi revæd familia øi apoi sæ mæ întorc. Am plecat în Suedia pentru cîteva luni, øi între timp s-au fæcut 12 ani. Mi-am dat atunci seama cæ, cel puflin profesional, am o ocazie binevenitæ de a vedea, de a cunoaøte øi de a învæfla alte lucruri, pe care sînt sigur cæ nu le-aø fi aflat la Academia de Artæ din Bucureøti, cel puflin în perioada aceea. Am intrat la Academia Regalæ de Artæ din Stockholm, øi cred cæ am luat o decizie corectæ. O mare parte din ceea ce fac acum se datoreazæ øcolii de la Stockholm.

4. De ce eøti atît de interesat de întrebarile legate de cariera artisticæ?

Interesul meu pentru carieræ este colateral. De fapt, doresc sæ fiu læsat în pace øi sæ fac ce vreau, dar, ca întotdeauna, pentru asta trebuie sæ fii credibil pentru a fi luat în serios. Este ca la bancæ, cînd primeøti un credit pentru cæ prezinfli o garanflie convingætoare. Mæ calcæ pe nervi sæ fii nevoit toatæ ziuæ sæ explici sau sæ dovedeøti ce pofli, sæ umbli cu CV-ul lipit în frunte.

5. Ce ar trebui un tînær artist sæ øtie?

Trimit la ceea ce am ræspuns la a doua întrebare, øi aø mai adauga o „vorbæ de aur” a lui Gheorghe Hagi, considerat de mulfli drept cel mai mare fotbalist român al tuturor timpurilor: „Mingea nu oboseøte”. Important este ce øi cum faci, nu sæ alergi ca nebunul dupæ trenduri øi succese.

6. Care este experienfla ta ca emigrant în Suedia?

Experienfla mea în Suedia are multe pærfli pozitive, în primul rînd în privinfla creafliei artistice. Færæ sprijinul financiar primit aici, sînt sigur cæ activitatea mea artisticæ ar fi fost cu totul alta. În plan social, øansa de a mæ întîlni cu alfli artiøti a fæcut ca experienfla mea sæ nu fie una dramaticæ, cum a fost, de exemplu, cea a personajelor din filmul meu Pasajul. Lucrurile s-au schimbat enorm în ultimii zece ani, adicæ de cînd Suedia a devenit parte a Uniunii Europene, øi parcæ trasformarile sînt tot mai radicale øi mai accelerate odatæ cu trecerea timpului. Uneori, e nevoie de distanflæ pentru a face o analizæ cît mai onestæ în privinfla acestor schimbari. Globalizarea ne afecteazæ pe tofli, cu bune øi rele. Este un proces ireversibil øi inevitabil, la care putem fi doar specatatori. Mijloacele prin care eu pot participa activ la influenflarea acestor schimbæri sînt, însæ, insuficiente; de aceea, rolul meu ca artist se mærgineøte, în general, doar la unul de povestitor.

7. Ce pærere ai despre faptul cæ Muzeul Naflional de Artæ Contemporanæ este localizat în Casa Poporului?

Cred cæ e o greøealæ; mi se pare impropriu prezenfla muzeului într-un asemenea spafliu, dar ceea ce cred cæ este încæ mai greøitæ, e prezenfla Parlamentului în acel loc. Øtiu cæ nu sînt primul care spune asta, dar aø fi fæcut acolo un muzeu al comunismului. În ce priveøte arta contemporanæ din România, mi-aø dori sæ aparæ cît mai multe instituflii, cu linii øi programe diferite, pentru a se creea un climat serios, øi, de ce nu, o piaflæ de artæ contemporanæ în România. Am auzit cæ sînt mai multe proiecte interesante pentru urmætorii ani, însæ ræmîne de væzut cîte dintre ele se vor materializa.

8. Ce crezi despre climatul artistic din Suedia?

Deøi træiesc aici de aproape 12 ani, nu pot sæ spun cæ cunosc totul. Am terminat øcoala aici în 1998, øi prima expoziflie pe care am avut-o a fost în 2003. Mi-a fost efectiv fricæ øi am fost de douæ ori mai exigent cu mine pînæ sæ accept sæ apar în muzee øi galerii.

Oricum, acum nu-mi mai e fricæ sæ expun. Însæ, cred cæ trebuie sæ depui destul de mult efort øi sæ ai timp suficient pentru a înflelege cum funcflioneazæ un asemenea mecanism, precum mediul artistic din Suedia. Sînt artiøti cunoscufli aici, care nu au o creaflie artisticæ consistentæ în spate, dar au, în schimb, o carieræ de succes, costruitæ doar pe o viaflæ socialæ foarte bogatæ.

9. Cum vezi colaborarea cu mine? Munca dintre artist øi teoretician este obligatorie pentru mine, în activitatea mea artisticæ. Teoreticianul e ca un doctor generalist: trebuie sæ øtie tot despre tine øi sæ-fli dea tratamentul necesar atunci cînd ai nevoie. Iar pe tine, Tom, te consider medicul meu de familie.

galerie

Tom Sandquist*

Øtefan Constantinescu

1. What is the role you want to play in the world of arts?

I belong in the workshop or in the studio. It is there that I want to complete what I have started, making fiction movies, documentary, photography and, of course, painting. I have several movie ideas, but I am aware that making a movie takes far more material resources than any other of my past projects.

2. What is your credo?

Well, I will quote from two living “classics”. Doru Borobeicæ (Boro for the connoisseurs), the bass player in the rock band Iris, once told Ion Dumitrescu (Pralea), the drummer in the band, that he thought it was about time for a change in the band’s sound, that they should play sometning more like Van Halen. “The stuff we play know is a little out of date” he concluded. Pralea simply told him: “We gotta stick to our own thing, to what we know best, TUF-TAF, TUF-TAF, TUF-TAF, and I’m sure our time is gonna come”. Instinctively, Ion Dumitrescu realised that they must be consistent in their artistic activity, that they must follow their path, despite fashion.

Adrian Mutu, a professional football player, now in Italy, playing for Juventus, once made a cool remark: “In 90 minutes, a forward player has at least 3 opportunities to score. One of them has to end up with a goal”; all you need is the presence of spirit, the intuition and the necessary courage at the right time. I mean, I’m not advocating for somebody to be a cynical opportunist and ruthlessly speculate the circumstances just for the sake of success, but for building paciently, until the next step in the way will come naturally. Then all you have to do is climb up that step or, if you are a football player, score.

3. Why did you move from Bucharest to Stockholm?

The chance played an important part for me, too. I came here in 1993 to reunite with my family. My father had come here during communism, in 1987, for visiting his brother, and remained here. My mother and brother left right after the first Mineriadæ, in 1990. Initially I was determined not to go anywhere, I was very young and the fall of communism had generated an exhuberant state within my generation. I left, however, looking forward to seeing my family and then come back. I left to Sweeden for a couple of months and here I am, after 12 years. I realized that, at least professionally speaking, this was a very good opportunity of seeing, knowing and learning other things, which I am sure I could have never learnt at the Bucharest Art Academy, not at that time, anyway. I became a student of the Stockholm Royal Art Academy and I think I made the right choice. A great deal of my current activity is due to the Stockholm school.

4. Why are you so interested in questions related to the artistic career?

My interest for the career is collateral. In fact, I wish to be left alone and do what I want to, but, like always, in order to do so you have to convince enough to be taken seriously. It’s like going to the bank, when you receive a credit because you presented an adequate security. Having to explain yourself all day long or to prove what you can do, to wear your resume on your forehead – that gets on my nerves.

5. What should a young artist know?

I return to the second question and add another “golden thought” of Gheorghe Hagi, regarded by many as the greatest Romanian football player of all times: “The ball doesn’t get tired”. The important thing is what you do and the way you do it, not running like crazy after trends and success.

6. What about your experience as an emmigrant in Sweeden?

My experience in Sweeden has many good parts, first of all regarding the artistic creation. I am sure that, without the financial support I received here, my artistic activity would have been entirely different. Socially, the opportunity of meeting other artists helped me avoid a dramatic experience, like, for instance, that of the characters in my movie Pasajul [The Passage]. Things have changed dramatically in the last ten years, since Sweeden became part of the European Union, and the changes seem more and more radical and fast as time goes by. Sometimes, it takes distance to analyze these changes as honest as possible. The globalization affects us all, with the goods and the bads. I’is an irreversible and inevitable process and we can only be the spectators of it. But the means through which I could actively influence these changes are insufficient; that’s why my role as an artist generally remains that of a story teller.

7. What do you think about the fact that The National Museum of Contemporary Art is in the House of the People?

I think this is a mistake; the presence of the museum in such a space seems to me improper, but what’s even worse is the presence of the Parliament there. I know I’m not the first to say it, but what I would have placed there is a museum of communism. As for the Romanian contemporary art, I wish there were more institutions, with different lines and programmes, in order to create a healthy climate and, why not, a contemporary art market in Romania. I heard about several interesting projects fot the next years, but we should wait and see how many of them shall materialize.

8. What do you think about the Sweedish artistic climat?

Although I’ve been living here for almost 12 years, I cannot pretend I know everything. I graduated here in 1998 and had my first exhibition in 2003. I was literally scared and twice as exigent with myself before I agreed to exhibit in museums and art galleries.

However, I am not afraid of exhibiting anymore. But I think it takes a lot of hard work and plenty of time to understand how a mechanism like the Sweedish artistic environment works. There are well-known artists here who do not have a consistent artistic creation, but who have a successful career, built only on the basis of a very rich social life.

9. How do you feel about working with me?

The work between the artist and the theoretician is indispensable for me, in my artistic activity. The theoretician is like a general practicioner: he has to know everything about you and treat you when you need it. As for you, Tom, I consider you to be my family doctor.

Translated by Alex Moldovan

Øtefan Constantinescu

Tom Sandquist

1. Ce rol vrei sæ ai în viafla artisticæ?

Dragæ Øtefan, nu øtiu de fapt dacæ am înfleles bine întrebarea ta, sau, dacæ, – dimpotrivæ – vrei, poate, sæ întrebi cu totul altceva. În primul rînd, cred cæ e greu sæ ræspund despre care a fost øi care este, în opinia mea, propriu-mi rol în viafla artisticæ. În al doilea rînd, mæ întreb la care viaflæ artisticæ te referi. Suedezæ, finlandezæ, internaflionalæ? Încerc sæ ræspund cît mai sincer cu putinflæ. Deoarece mæ întrebi despre ce rol caut sæ joc, ræspunsul devine simplu, chiar dacæ la prima vedere banal: niciunul. Mæ pofli crede sau nu, dar dupæ ce am fost activ ca øi critic de artæ, curator, scriitor, cecetætor øi profesor, timp de atîflia ani, gîndul de a te strædui sæ obflii o anumitæ poziflie sau de a juca un anumit rol mi-a devenit din ce în ce mai stræin. În general, nu vreau sæ am un rol anume în viafla artisticæ.

2. Care este crezul tæu sau principiile tale ca teoretician al artei?

Cred cæ am devenit din ce în ce mai mult interesant sæ încerc – dupæ puterile mele – sæ atrag atenflia, sæ fac vizibil øi, în acelaøi timp, sæ problematizez dimensiunea istoricæ (din perspectiva istoriei ideilor) a fenomenului. În acelaøi timp, de cînd am început sæ lucrez în mod profesionist ca teoretician, încerc sæ ancorez epoca contemporanæ în procesul istoric, aøa cum am încercat sæ observ øi sæ fac vizibil acest lucru în cîmpul cunoøtinflelor interdisciplinare.

3. De ce ai pæræsit Stockholmul Nu am pæræsit Stockholmul, nu am pæræsit nici Helsinki, Berlin, New York, Londra, Viena, Paris, Roma, Veneflia, Varøovia, Vilnius sau Bucureøti. Da, e adeværat, øi te-ai mutat într-un mic sat, træiesc împreunæ cu Ann (Edholm) într-o fostæ øcoalæ, mare, veche øi nespus de frumoasæ, construitæ în 1906 lîngæ o micæ bisericæ din piatræ din secolul al XIIIla flaræ? lea, cam la o oræ de capitala suedezæ. Acolo nu ne întîlnim doar cu Tristan, pisica noastræ neagræ, botezatæ dupæ Samuel Rosenstock, ci øi cu un expert în acusticæ, cîfliva flærani, doi arhitecfli, trei scriitori, doi preofli, doi medici, doi psihoterapeufli, un dulgher, un îngrijitor de copii, un ilustrator, un actor, un specialist în chestiunea drogurilor, un psiholog, un profesor de fizicæ teoreticæ, doi cîntærefli, un argintar, un artist textil, un director de muzeu. Nu, n-am abandonat nici Stockholmul, nici Helsinki, Berlin, New York, Londra, Viena, Paris, Roma, Veneflia, Varøovia, Vilnius sau Bucureøti.

Øtefan Constantinescu

Tom Sandquist

galerie

1. What is the role you want to play in the artistic life?

My dear Øtefan, I don’t know if I properly understood your question or maybe – on the contrary – you want to ask me something entirely different. In the first place, I think it’s hard for me to talk about the past and present role I play in the artistic life. Secondly, I wonder what artistic life are you talking about. The Sweedish, the Finnish, the international one? I’m trying to be as honest as possible. Due to the fact that you ask me what role I am looking for to play, the answer becomes an easy, even if an apparently dull one: none. Believe me or not, but after acting as an art critic, curator, writer, researcher and teacher for so many years, the idea of striving for a position or playing a particulat role became more and more remote to me. Generally speaking, I don’t want to play any particular role in the artistic life.

2. What is your credo, what are your principles as an art theoretician?

I think I have became more and more interested in trying – insomuch as I can – to draw attention, to render visible and, at the same time, to problematize the historical dimension (from the perspective of the history of ideas) of the phenomenon. At the same time, since I began working as a professional theoretician, I try to anchor the contemporary era in the historic process, the same way I tried to observe and render visible this issue in the field of interdisciplinary knowledge.

3. Why did you leave Stockholm and move to a small country village?

I didn’t leave Stockholm, nor Helsinki, Berlin, New York, London, Vienna, Paris, Rome, Venice, Warsaw, Vilnius or Bucharest. Yes, it’s true, I live with Ann (Edholm) in a former school, large, old and undescribable beautiful, built in 1906 near a small stone church from the XIIIth century, about an hour from the Sweedish capital. There we not only meet Tristan, our black cat, named after Samuel Rosenstock, but also an expert in acoustics, several peasants, two architects, three writers, tho priests, two doctors, two psychotherapeuts, a carpenter, a babysitter, an illustrator, an actor, a specialist in drugs, a psychologist, a professor of theoretical physics, two singers, a silversmith, a textile artist, a museum manager. No, I did not leave Stockholm, nor Helsinki, Berlin, New York, Londra, Vienna, Paris, Rome, Venice, Warsaw, Vilnius or Bucharest.

4. Why do you show so much interest in Romanian avant-garde?

My interest in Romanian avant-garde decreased significantly after working on my book about Dadaism; now I started to research on the modernism in Central and Eastern Europe from a significantly larger perspective. But the Romanian avant-garde has, of course, a special place in the thematic area I work in, which I try to catch as good as possible. And the Romanian avant-garde reminds of the inhabitants in Kasrielevskij by Sholem Aleichems, doesn’t it? The characters of this book are, in a most unbelievable manner, up to date, internationally oriented, enthusiastic, daring and innovative, but also trustless and skeptical. Of course they heard about cities with brick houses, buildings with several floors, sidewalks, electricity and other modern gimmicks; but to beleive in something like the train, with the locomotive carrying wagons on a steel rail, it’s quite different, it’s a genuine chain explosion for the trustful peasants, for the priests wearing robes, for the merchants playin chess. And one day, the unthinkable happens. One of the city’s merchants has the opportunity to visit Moskow and, after coming back, tells the naïve, but at the same time unberable curios crowd, gathered at the central plaza pub, that in fact he took a train ride of almost an hour. He himself hardly believed his eyes: there seemed to be no horses, although the carriage was big and clearly heavy, not in front of the locomotive, nor behind the train or in the wagons. It was obvious and undeniable: he lived through a miracle, and a true one, too. He sweared on everything a jew holds holy that everything was true. What was to believe? On the one hand, why would a good friend, an honest person and, in every respect, a respected merchant anf family head risk his immortal soul by telling stories about things that didn’t exist? On the other hand, how could one let himself fouled by the traveller’s fables and stories? No! There’s only one way to solve the dilemma: they decided that every word of the merchant should be believed, but they refused to believe that the train realy existed.

5. What should a young artist know?

He should know that the bell rings at five to twelve, at least twice a day.

6. How important is it for you to teach, to be a teacher?

For me it is as unimportant to be a teacher, as indescribable important it is to teach.

4. De ce eøti aøa de interesat de avangarda româneascæ?

Interesul pentru avangarda româneascæ s-a atenuat semnificativ dupæ lucrul la cartea despre dadaism; acum am început sæ cercetez modernismul din Europa Centralæ øi de Est dintr-o perspectivæ semnificativ mai amplæ. Dar avangarda româneascæ are, bineînfleles, un loc special în cîmpul tematic în care lucrez, øi pe care încerc sæ-l cuprind cît pot de bine. Øi nu aminteøte avangarda româneascæ de locuitorii din Kasrielevskij ai lui Sholem Aleichems? Personajele acestei cærfli sînt, într-un fel nemaipomenit, la zi, sînt orientafli internaflional, entuziaøti, îndræznefli øi inovativi, dar øi suspicioøi øi sceptici. Bineînfleles cæ au auzit cæ existæ oraøe cu case din caramidæ, edificii cu mai multe etaje, trotuare, electricitate øi alte næscociri moderne, dar sæ creadæ cæ ar exista øi ceva precum trenul, locomotive cu vagoane care merg pe o øinæ din oflel, e cu totul altceva, o adevaratæ explozie în lanfl pentru flæranii creduli, preoflii îmbræcafli în sutanæ, comercianflii care joacæ øah. Øi într-o zi, se întîmplæ ceea ce nimeni nu credea cæ se putea întîmpla. Unul dintre comercianflii oraøului a avut ocazia sæ viziteze Moscova, øi, la întoarcere, îi povesteøte mulflimii naive, dar în acelaøi timp insuportabil de curioasæ, adunatæ în cîrciuma din marea piaflæ, cæ, de fapt, mersese cu trenul aproape o oræ. El însuøi abia îøi crezuse ochilor: se pærea cæ nu erau cai, deøi træsura era mare øi, în mod evident, grea, nici în fafla locomotivei, nici în spatele trenului sau înæuntrul vagoanelor. Era evident øi færæ niciun dubiu: træise un miracol, care, pe deasupra, era adeværat. A jurat pe tot ceea ce era mai sfînt unui evreu cæ tot ce spunea era adeværat. Ce puteai sæ crezi? Pe de o parte, de ce un bun prieten, un om cinstit øi, în toate sensurile, un respectat negustor øi cap de familie øi-ar risca sufletul nemuritor, povestind despre lucruri care nu existæ? Pe de alta parte, sæ te laøi înøelat de fabulele si poveøtile cælætorului? Nu! Existæ doar o singuræ soluflie a dilemei: s-a decis ca fiecare cuvînt spus de negustor sæ fie crezut, dar s-a refuzat sæ se creadæ cæ trenul realmente existæ.

5. Ce ar trebui sæ øtie un artist tînar?

Ar trebui sæ øtie cæ ceasul sunæ la 12 færæ cinci, de cel puflin douæ ori pe zi.

6. Cît de important este pentru tine sæ predai, sæ fii profesor?

Pentru mine este tot atît de neimportant sæ fiu profesor, pe cît de nedescris de important este sæ predau.

7. De ce eøti aøa de activ în privinfla problematicii imigranflilor?

În afara faptului cæ am scris o carte despre experienflele mele ca imigrant în Suedia, acum vreo 20 de ani, nu sînt prea activ în ce priveøte acestæ problemæ, chiar dacæ întotdeauna par sæ mæ interesez de identitatea culturalæ øi socialæ care rezultæ din ceea ce Marx numeøte „die Lückenposition”, deci de identitatea culturalæ condiflionatæ de situaflia cuiva de a se afla într-o continuæ zonæ gri, între apartenenfle culturale fixe. Poate de aceea mæ interesez atît de avangarda româneascæ øi dadaism, cît øi de cultura Europei Centrale øi de Est. Aici se ciocnesc între ele, færæ sæ ofileascæ diferite identitæfli. Fiind næscut øi crescut în Finlanda, într-o minoritate idiomaticæ øi culturalæ, vreau sa apær dreptul minoritæflilor, vreau ca ele sæ aibæ drepturi – øi cred cæ o autenticæ democraflie trebuie sæ se bazeze pe înflelegerea faptului cæ o întîlnire nu e cu adeværat o întîlnire, dacæ nu este vorba de întîlnirea a douæ entitæfli deosebite una de alta. În acest context, nu pot sæ nu ma refer la Julia Kristeva, care ne amineøte în cartea Etrangers à nous mêmes (1988) de posibilitæflile noastre într-o lume în care, pentru prima datæ în istorie, putem træi cu cei care sînt altfel, færæ ca vreo unitate sæ trebuiascæ sæ sintetizeze deosebirile noastre. O comunitate paradoxalæ este pe cale sæ aparæ, spune Kristeva, formatæ din stræini care se acceptæ unii pe alflii în mæsura în care se pot regæsi pe ei înøiøi ca stræini. Societatea multinaflionalæ va creøte øi va atrage dupæ sine un individualism extrem, dar – øi acest lucru e foarte important –, e vorba de un individualism care este conøtient de dificultæflile øi limitærile sale, øi care træieøte slæbiciunea neînfrînatæ de a-l ajuta pe celalalt, „o slæbiciune care, cu alte cuvinte, izvoræøte din adîncul izolærii noastre”.

7. Why are you so active about the immigration issue?

Except for writing a book about my experiences as an immigrant in Sweeden, some twenty years ago, I’m not so active with regard to this issue, even though I always seem interested in the cultural and social identity which results from what Marx calls “die Lückenposition”, that is the cultural identity depending on the fact that one is always in a grey area, between fixed cultural affiliations. Maybe that’s why I’m interested not only in the Romanian avant-garde and Dadaism, but also in Central and Eastern European culture. This is where they collide, without different identities withering away. Born and raised in Finland, as part of an idiomatic and cultural minority, I want to defend the right of the minorities, I want them to have rights, and I believe that genuine democracy must ground itself on the understanding of the fact that an encounter is not real if it is not the encounter of two entities different from each other. In this context, I must refer to Julia Kristeva, who, in her book Etrangers à nous mêmes (1988), reminds us of our possibilities in a world in which, for the first time in history, we can live with those who are different, without the need that some unity sintesizes our differences. A paradoxical community is about to arise, Kristeva says, consisting of strangers accepting each other insomuch as they can reveal themselves as strangers. The multinational society will grow and will bring on an extreme individualism, but – and this is very important –, it is an individualism which acknowledges its difficulties and limitations and which lives the unstoppable weakness of helping the other, “a weakness which, in other words, springs from the bottom of our isolation”.

8. Ce pærere ai despre faptul cæ Muzeul Naflional de Artæ Contemporanæ se aflæ în fosta Casæ a Poporului a lui Ceauøescu?

Am sæ mæ citez pe mine, plecînd de la ce am afirmat în cartea Dacia 1300. my generation (2003): Ar putea împrejurarea cæ au fost demolate întregul district Uranus øi mare parte din cartierele Rahova øi Antim, sæ fie vreodatæ o sursæ de inspiraflie pentru poezii øi mituri, cînd, în acelaøi timp, øtim dificultæflile care i-au afectat pe foøtii locuitori, øi, mai ales, condifliile de sclavie în care muncitorii erau obligafli sæ lucreze?

Nu, nu existæ nicidecum ceva poetic sau ceva cu adeværat mitologic øi împæciutorist în acfliunea de distrugere sistematicæ, care, în mod oficial, a fost legitimatæ atît de marele cutremur din 1977, care a omorît aproape 2000 de persoane, numai în Bucureøti, cît øi de „spiritul revoluflionar”, care urma sæ caracterizeze „modernizarea” oraøului, cînd excavatoarele au avut grijæ de moøtenirea istoricæ øi religioasæ: de exemplu, de casa istoricului øi politicianului Nicolae Iorga, de la începutul secolului XX, de legendarul Spital Brîncovenesc, din secolul al XIX-lea øi, în afara centrului oraøului, de Mænæstirea Væcæreøti, din secolul al XVI-lea, care urma sæ facæ loc noului Palat al Justifliei. Dupæ anumite informaflii, terenul vechii mænæstiri fusese la început destinat unui mare parc distracflii, gen Dineyland, pentru care deja se începuse fabricarea de carusele, maøini electrice, automate de bani øi alte dotæri. În zonele din centru direct afectate de cutremur, s-au dærîmat cinci biserici ortodoxe, în 1985 s-au dærîmat înca trei biserici, un an mai tîrziu înca trei biserici øi o sinagogæ, iar în 1987 încæ øase biserici. Mai multe monumente arhitectonice, biserici øi clædiri, de neînlocuit din punct de vedere istoric øi cultural, au fost mutate cîfliva zeci de metri øi/sau înconjurate total de de nouconstruitele clædiri înalte. Imaginea oraøului a fost complet distorsionatæ atunci cînd, de exemplu, Biserica Mihai Vodæ, din secolul al XIV-lea, a fost literalmente împinsæ la o parte, pe buøteni, 200 de metri mai departe, pentru a fi ascunsæ sub umbra clædirilor „moderne”. Potrivit descrierii romanflate a lui Cladio Magris, dictatorul român nu a vrut, de fapt, sæ demoleze, ci sæ deplaseze – a tras o bisericæ din 1700 cincizeci de metri mai departe, cu fundaflii cu tot, a lipit o capelæ de o cazarmæ construitæ o jumætate de secol mai tîrziu, øi dacæ blocurile nu se potriveau împreunæ, tæia o bucatæ dintr-unul din ele, øi-l arunca; el a modificat urbanistica øi planimetria cu aceeaøi arbitrarietate cu care un copil se joacæ cu un castel de nisip. Ceauøescu era... patronul firmei de transport care a ambalat scenografia secolului. Distrugerea a afectat nu numai zonele care urmau sæ facæ loc Casei Poporului øi Bulevardului Unirii, ci øi alte cartiere ale oraøului care fusese odinioaræ numit micul Paris al Balcanilor; zone întregi au fost dærîmate, în mod literal, peste noapte, pentru a face loc unei noi instituflii, un Palat al Sportului sau vreo altæ clædire oficialæ, proiectatæ în acelaøi stil amestecat, post-stalinist øi puternic monumentalist. Cînd a fost vorba, de exemplu, de zona din jurul Lacului Morii, autoritæflilor nu le-a pæsat nici mæcar dacæ locatarii erau sau nu acasæ, au aruncat pur øi simplu mobila, îmbræcæmintea øi obiectele din gospodærie pe stradæ, înainte ca buldozerele øi excavatoarele sæ porneascæ. În ceea ce priveøte cimitirile, care ori au fost transformate în lacuri artificiale ori au fost acoperite cu beton, rudele au fost îndemnate, cu o zi sau cel mult douæ înainte de dezafectare, sæ aibæ grijæ de rudele lor îngropate.

8. How do you feel abot the fact that The National Museum of Contemporary Art is in the Ceauøescu’s former House of the People?

I will quote from myself, starting from the statements made in my book Dacia 1300. my generation (2003): Is it possible that the fact that the whole Uranus district and a large part of the Rahova and Antim was demolished could ever be a source of inspiration for poems and myths as, at the same time, we know the difficulties that the former inhabitants had to endure and, especialy, the harsh conditions that the workers were forced to work in? No, there is nothing poetic or truely mythologic or appeasing in this act of systematic destruction which has been officialy legitimated not only by the big 1977 earthquake, which killed nearly 2000 only in Bucharest, but also by the “revolutionary spirit” which was due to characterize the “modernization” of the city, when the bulldozers took care of the historic and religious heritage: for instance, the house of Nicolae Iorga, historian and politician, from the early XXth century, the legendary Spital Brâncovenesc, from the XIXth century and, outside the city center, the Mænæstirea Væcæreøti, from the XVIth century, which had to make way for the new Palace of Justice. According to certain sources, the land of the former monastery was first destined to a large entertainement park, like Disneyland, for which they had already started to make carousels, electric cars, cash machines and other endowments. In the central areas, directly affected by the earthquake, five orthodox churches were demolished, three more churches in 1985, after one year other three churches and a synagogue, and in 1987 other six churches. Several architectonic monuments, churches and buildings, historically and culturally unreplaceble, were moved several tens of metres and/or were completely surrounded by the newly erected high buildings. The city image was completely distorted when, for example, the XIVth century Mihai Vodæ Church was literally moved over, on logs, 200 metres away, in order to hide it in the shadow of the “modern buildings”. According to Claudio Magris’ romancing depiction, the Romanian dictator didn’t want to demolish, but in fact to displace – he moved over a 1700 church fifty metres away, including the foundation, he sticked a chapel to a casemate built half a century later and, should the blocks not fit toghether, he would cut a piece from one of them and throw it away; he changed the city planning and the planimetry with the arbitrariety of a child playing with a sand castle. Ceauøescu… owned the transportation company that wrapped the scenography of the century. The destruction not only affected the areas destined to make way for The House of the People and Unirii Boulevard, but also other districts of the city once called Little Paris of the Balkans; entire areas were demolished, literally over night, to make way for a new institution, a Pallace of Sports or other official building, designed in the same mixture of styles, post-stalinist and deeply monumentalist. When it came, for example, to the area surrounding Lacul Morii, the authorities didn’t even care wheather the inhabitants were at home or not, they just threw the furniture, the clothes and the objects in the house in the street, before the bulldozers and excavators started. As for the cemeteries, which were either transformed in artificial lakes or covered in concrete, the relatives were advised, with one or at most two days before the deallocation, to take care of their buried relatives.

9. Ce pærere ai despre climatul artistic suedez?

Nu pare a fi deosebit de intelectual sau, în mod particular, curios de a altceva decît de el însuøi sau de cea ce îi este apropiat, adicæ contextul anglo-american.

9. What do you think about the Sweedish artistic climat?

It doesn’t seem like a very intellectual one or especially interested in finding out anything else except for itself or things that are close to it, as the EnglishAmerican context.

10. Cum vezi colaborarea cu mine? Cred în tren.

10. How do you feel about working with me?

I believe in the train.

Translated by Alex Moldovan