Full Page AD - Pipedream FFS 2
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Full Page AD - Pipedream FFS 1
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Christmas Cheer Up
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most of the gifting period. Sex itself is most popular during the winter, according to a study by The Psychology of Human Sexuality blog. They found men were more aroused by pictures of naked ladies during the winter than summer, which may go some way to explain why the most likely day of the year to give birth/be born is September 16th. Or nine months after the doldrums of mid-January with its long nights, huge credit card bills and post-holiday blues. No wonder people turn to each other for some warmth, distraction and entertainment. Statistically, December 25th is the least likely day to be a birthday, bar February 29th for obvious reasons. January 1st is in 364th place. Weirdly, there’s a birth spike on February 14th (103rd most likely, based on US births between ‘73 and ‘99) for no obvious reason apart from women pushing extra hard on the most romantic day of the year. It’s in marked contrast with the 13th (331/366) and the 15th (248/366). There’s a curious dip at the start of July, but after that it’s peak season on maternity wards until early October. There’s another blip around November 18th, nine months on from St Valentine’s Day. Coincidence? I don’t think so... CHRISTMAS RESTOCKINGS
three-image file with 3x3 pixel flakes moving downwards from frame to frame - is a start. Don’t hold back on the puns. This is not the time to shy away from a ‘full sack’, ‘...comes once a year’ or ‘really spoil her’ strapline. ‘Get Knickerless for St Nicholas’, ‘Everyone loves Stuffing!’, ‘What did Santa say to the three prostitutes? “Ho Ho Ho”’, ‘Why wait to open that box?’ or ‘Christmas Jump Her’ and many more are available for your posters, signs, notices and sidebars. There’s licence to have a bit of bonus fun at the butt-end of the year. Pantos wouldn’t work in summer - people’s tolerance for the theatrical is in inverse proportion to the temperature - but until it feels like spring is approaching, you can get away with some flamboyance. I’m not suggesting greeting every customer like Brian Blessed playing the Ghost of Christmas Present or giving the shop/site a full grotto makeover, but a bowl of Quality Street on the counter to acknowledge the birth of baby Jesus or dropping a surprise ‘£5 off your next order over £40 before Valentine’s Day’ flyer into every box being shipped out is the right sort of gesture. How about a “come back in January with this raffle ticket to see if you won something” offer? Tinsel bikinis for your mannequins, ‘Any Chance
Erotic Trade Only New Year 2013/14
With so much seasonal sex going on, how can the adult industry benefit from it? All stages of the manufacturer-to-consumer chain should be experiencing the same sales swell as the ice-cream industry feels from May to August. Reuters and the Financial Times both recently reported retail sales are likely to exceed 2007 levels this year, with the biggest growth in pre-Christmas turnover for six or more years. Manufacturers should have been prepared for this in the summer, and distribution very much on the case in October and November, but December is still consumers’ peak purchasing month, especially online, giving retailers added impetus to make the most of the opportunities out there in the Winter Wonderland. Since you’ll have already bought in your Christmas and quite possibly Valentine’s - gift lines, now to transform that stock into cash through the medium of happy customers with their own well-stuffed sacks, and that means three things (of orient are): Preparation, Promotion and Proaction. Or if you prefer, making gold from incessant mirth. ‘Tis the season to be jolly, after all.
Preparation you have covered, and if you don’t, speak to your supplier of sexy Mrs Claus and Santa’s Saucy Helper outfits etc as a matter of urgency, so Promotion comes next. You’ll never see a better return on every pound spent on advertising to your customers than you’ll get in the seven golden weeks before Christmas (and Hanukkah. I’m not forgetting our Jewish readership. For the purposes of this article, Christmas is a generic term for the not-specifically-religious turkeyeating, gift-opening, Great-Escape-on-TV holiday near the end of December) so hit the local papers if you still can. An upbeat story is always nice, so hold an Christmas-themed charity night (10% of all ‘prophets’ to a good cause is automatically great PR), women-only night or other ‘newsworthy’ promotion, and back it up with some advertising wherever possible. Feet through the door should be up 30% or more in December compared to July, so push hard to get those punters in. If you’re allowed to leaflet (responsibly, to appropriate adults) then get a hawt lady Elf on the job. As much as I hate junk mail, even a door-to-door/direct marketing campaign can produce significant results at this time of year. Make the flyer double-sided, with Christmas on one side and Valentine’s on the other? Lastly, be Proactive in-store. In this issue’s Mystery Shopper feature, you’ll see Brighton’s gayfriendly Nice ‘n’ Naughty store getting a ‘We Three Queens’ window makeover. If you can’t match that, at least make some effort inside the shop to maximise sales while the footfall is at its height. Sales and other promotions are obvious, but I urge every manager to get out from behind his or her counter and make an extra effort to interact with their customers. Online, swapping your usual logo for an animated Gif version with falling snow - a
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Christmas Cheer Up
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of a Snow Job?’ humorous boxer shorts, an appropriate soundtrack and even the most discreet of flashing Santas on the counter will all say ‘I’ve made an effort to get into the swing of things’ which even the most winter-weary customer will appreciate. If only begrudgingly.
Erotic Trade Only New Year 2013/14
GRINCH AND BARE IT
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With cooking, entertaining the in-laws, finding a gift for an ungrateful, precocious 12 year-old and general overindulgence looming, against a backdrop of saving up to pay the fuel bill, Christmas can be pretty evil. Groundwork is critical for a smooth transition out of 2013 and into 2014 and all the nonsense in the days before it, so if you’re not a regular list maker don’t be afraid to pick up a pen or equivalent technology and make plans. On the subject of lists, do you have procedures to deal with the naughty as well as the nice? Watch footage of the doors opening on a Boxing Day sale to see Christmas does not always bring out the best in people. When that ‘must-have gift’ has already been gotten by everyone else, tempers fray and fuses shorten considerably. Assaults on retail staff hit a high when customers are frustrated by the lack of a receipt for a return, have been drinking or are otherwise wound-up like a clockwork toy. Yeah, that all says Christmas to me too. There has been a worrying upward trend in this, in recent years, meaning Conflict Avoidance and Dispute Resolution training is only getting more useful. Doubly-so around now. A search online for ‘preventing violence to retail staff’ showed me many useful links, but just dealing with the different sorts of customer you’re likely to get this year with the right approach and attitude may avoid misunderstandings and clashes of style escalating into chest-poking or worse. Colour-coding customers may sound like a UKIP policy, but I don’t mean coding customers by colour. It works on co-workers too, which may help with any ‘personality clashes’ developing in your workforce between colleagues. If there’s anyone you really hate, who hasn’t actually slept with or punched someone dear to you, it could well be because you’re one general personality type and they’re a clashing one. I could list the four broad types in terms of related Hogwarts Houses, but for reasons of copyright, I’ll just go with Red, Blue, Green and Yellow. Which are you?
RED Direct (to the point of rudeness sometimes), opinionated and forceful, they like a no-nonsense, cutto-the-chase approach. Reacts very badly to being
‘talked down to’ or at the first sniff of flimflam. They’d say they were focused, independent, decisive, efficient and ambitious while others might say they’re insensitive, pushy and even domineering. This might sound like classic sociopath, but it’s more Alpha Fe/Male behaviour. The best way to deal with Red people is keep it clear and concise (they like that) and attempting manipulation on an emotional level probably isn’t worth the effort. They’re extroverted and good with tasks, but prefer to soak up information like a sponge, so like pertinent information to process, to push them along.
BLUE Analytically-minded, Blues are hard-working, organised, logical and persistent. They are often resistant to change and risk averse. They like time to process information and make good decisions based on weighing up their options. Like Reds, they like the controlled, task-focused approach but are more introverted
than extroverted, making them more amenable to a sales style where they’re asked questions. Deliberative and exacting, they make good mechanics and lab technicians but can be their own worst critic if they fail to live up to their own high standards. They’re often conservative in outlook and tend not to think especially creatively, but are
reliable in a crisis. They make a great wingman or trusted friend although aren’t always ‘born leaders’.
GREEN Sharing Blues’ introversion, but with a more emotional side to their make-up, Greens are amiable, supportive, good negotiators and co-operators. They have Blues’ methodical side but are better at thinking outside the box. The downside to their emotional sensitivity is they can become dependent but have empathy, so are reliable, loyal, respectful, and usually make very agreeable company. A relaxed attitude can be a twoedged sword for Greens though, as punctuality isn’t always a trait. Very much a ‘people person’, they’re not worried about being the centre of attention and respond best to a questioning sort of sales approach, allowing them to make a connection on a more emotional level than Blue. Or Red, who they’re least like.
YELLOW Mixing aspects of Red and Green, Yellow are emotionled extroverts, so have little in common with Blues. They can be pushier than more introverted Greens, so may be better sales people than them. Some might say manipulative. However, they’re sociable, enthusiastic, naturally friendly and expressive. As company they’re stimulating, but are more reactive than proactive, can be overly excitable and undisciplined. As for selling to Yellows, a friendly approach, but one where you talk and they listen, is usually most successful. They’re usually impulse purchasers too, so make good customers! They avoid conflict, aren’t the best at setting themselves goals and can flit from subject to subject, but build up an experience bank, making them full of good advice. Every ‘colour’ tends to get on well with their own colour, simply because they’re communicating in a mutually understood way. Two Reds together can get depressingly competitive for people around them, but they’ll be having fun... Other pairings work fine too - while others can spell trouble. Reds get on well with Yellows and Blues, while Blues also work well with/respond well to Greens. Greens like a Blue but pair well with fellow emotional Yellows too, and Yellows share Reds outgoing viewpoint, so they also tend to get on well. However, the desire of Greens to talk problems through can clash badly with a no-compromise Red and fastidious Blue may not see eye-to-eye with laidback (untidy?) Yellow. You get the idea. It’s essentially a way of splitting the head-led thinkers (Blue and Red) from the heart-led feelers (Green and Yellow) and the
Christmas Cheer Up
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‘draw with questions’ introverts (Blue and Green) from the ‘drive with info’ extroverts (Red and Yellow). The way each colour is motivated and prefers to communicate is the key to getting the most out of interactions with them. Armed with this knowledge there’s nothing to stop a Green selling to a Red, or a Blue having a very productive working relationship with a Yellow. Just don’t ask them to share a desk. For more information, search for “Personality Colour Types” online and get ready to argue there are plenty of people who aren’t immediately categorisable and demand you’re a Black. Because you’re a Goth. Or Pink. Because you like pink. The practical upshot of this for your business is that teaming people by colour-type (not ethnicity!) will often reduce friction, and a knowledge of how Reds, Blues, Greens and Yellows prefer to be dealt with can help sales staff adapt their style to match the customer’s preferred approach once a rapport has developed. Every good sales person knows about mirroring - that natural urge to meet people on common ground, in terms of attitude and language used. Selling is very much a people business because ‘people buy from people’ (if they didn’t, why try to inject warmth and personality into a retail website?) and whether that’s over the phone or face-to-face, it’s normal for folks to prefer to do business with confidence-inspiring ‘people like them’. Just not quite as attractive or bright, ideally. SCROOGE ON THE KITCHEN TABLE
solitude - or at least segregation - too, which is only heightened by images of happy families at yuletide. DON WE NOW OUR GAY APPAREL Gay couples are the least likely to have children, unsurprisingly, which can be a source of angst around a time traditional for spoiling loved-ones - especially kids - rotten. Estrangement from parents, siblings and the wider family can also be a problem, even in these enlightened times, making friends ever more important to the average gay guy, lesbian lady, pansexual person or tinselled transgendered Tom, Dick or Harriet. Oh, how the memory of being the Christmas Fairy at school still burns... So, given friends are the new family for some people, what can adult retail do for them? Because while getting a sex toy from a family member would be weird, giving one to a buddy is just dandy... On many sites and in sex shops, licensed and unlicensed, there’s little focus given to this market. Since only around 10% of adults fall outside the basic ‘heterosexual’ catch-almost-all category, you could argue ‘mainstream’ adult retail doesn’t need to cater to them beyond a selection of gay DVDs and the acknowledgement that butt plugs and lube are universal products. But with a statistical lack of children (Elton John and David Furnish bucking the trend) comes more disposable income (again, on average) so that come Christmas, money is burning holes in well-tailored pockets up and down the UK. If there’s no LGBT-specific shop near you, can you go wrong with some gay/lesbian/bisexual/trans-friendly greetings cards, especially at this time of year and up to St Valentine’s? Gaycentric gift lines will be at their sales azimuth for the next two months too, so is that a flagpole also worth running a rainbow flag up? Let’s consider Father Christmas for a moment. A penchant for high black leather boots and belt, big bushy white beard and moustache, classic ‘bear’ physique and, most tellingly of all, a big red coat trimmed with white fur. That’s pretty ‘pimp’ for a straight guy, and we all know Mrs Claus is a late 19th century addition to the mythos to stop questions about what he gets up to there at the North Pole. I’m not outing Santa, I’m just saying - bar a glass of milk, a biscuit and a carrot - he obviously believes it’s better to give than it is to receive. Classic Top. Whatever the season brings you - be it snow and snowmen or rain and reindeer - I hope you’ll make the most of it, along with the joys of 2014 to come. May your tills ring like sleigh bells, your baubles sparkle like a cheesy Disney animation and your stockings hang low with Terry’s Chocolate Oranges. Technically not another of your five-aday, but what the heck - it’s Christmas!
Erotic Trade Only New Year 2013/14
To aid employee motivation and productivity during the depths of winter, we shouldn’t overlook SAD. Seasonal Affective Disorder is linked to reduced serotonin levels due to a lack of sunlight exposure during the current short days, which leads to depression. If you or your staff might be suffering from this, I recommend SAD.org.uk as a good resource for finding info on causes, symptoms and treatments. The blacked-out windows in many adult stores only compound the problem; the sun’s long-since set when staff leave, meaning they may see less than an hour of sunlight per day, during their journey in to work and any breaks they’re lucky enough/legally entitled to get. A simple lamp on the counter to lift Vitamin D levels might be all it takes to reduce staff absenteeism and other seasonal problems. Some fresh fruit in the staff area can do wonders too. Breakfast is probably the most important meal of the day, and is definitely the most skipped one, so a humble sugary banana with its moodlifting and energising properties shouldn’t be underestimated. At around 16p each, they, along with apples, oranges etc, are the affordable snack-food which makes up one of your five-a-day. I checked; crisps and chips don’t count. Nor does lemon drizzle cake. Also, it’s good for staff morale to be clear on what an employer’s responsibilities are during possible bad weather, as well as their own obligations. Unless your contract says otherwise, there’s usually no requirement for
your employer to pay you if you can’t make it in to work due to bad weather, but there should be no pressure to risk injury or worse if conditions are truly treacherous. You have the right to unpaid time off in regards to dependants - for example, if a school is closed at short notice. Unless there’s a specific clause in your contact, normally an employer has to give double the notice of any enforced holiday as the length of that holiday. Which means they can’t typically insist you take a day stuck at home due to snowdrifts as a day off your holiday entitlement. If you’re able to attend work, but the business is unable to operate and is closed, again, it’s not usual to force that day - or days - to be taken as holiday. If it happens at short notice, employees are usually entitled to be paid if a business has to shut temporally due to a heating failure or lack of safe access. Just how does that snowplough driver get to work..? Winter isolation isn’t just a problem for the snowed-in, house bound, elderly and antisocial. Many in the adult industry work alone, either as the sole member of staff in a shop or from home for a ‘kitchen table’ business. Certain consumer markets can suffer from
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Full Page AD - Zolo
25/11/13
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2014 - You read it here first
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MARCH: Pipedream’s new Mega Masturbator kit is released. Called BRAIN - Bisexual Romantic And Intimate Nanobot - the microprocessor-controlled unit connects all the various Mega Masturbators together with magnetic links. “BRAIN features sophisticated sensors that can detect when the user wants to have sex, injecting all orifices with lube in preparation,” Nick Orlandino tells ETO. Pipedream recommends users connect their BRAIN to the internet on a daily basis so they always have the latest version of the operating system software. Erotic author EL James walks out of a Good Morning interview with Holly Willoughby. “I am fed up of being asked about that bloody book all the time,” she says backstage. “I want to move on. I want to spread my wings as an author, as an artist, and as a woman.” A still seething Mike Wallace announces he has changed his Christian name by deed poll to William. “Never you bloody mind why,” he snaps at an ETO reporter. “I’m not talking to you.” After Ann Summers products were trialled in Superdrug stores in 2013, Tesco announces that it has become the first UK supermarket to have a dedicated sex toys section in-store. The company adds that to ensure children would not come into contact with the products the sex toys would be merchandised near the books.
APRIL:
MAY: EL James releases her long awaited next novel. The hero is an outrageously camp Irish billionaire chat show host. “Is it based on anyone in particular, Ms James?” the press ask. “You could say he’s not unlike a certain celebrity,” she says coquettishly, to blank stares. She continues: “Not unlike? Norton-like? Oh come on, work with me here people!” The new book, Fifty Shades of Graham, does not match the sales of its predecessor. The Pipedream Extreme GIRL proves to be a success, with production unable to keep up with demand and software development continuing. Some Pipedream insiders privately express concerns about the new product though: “I’m not comfortable with the way they look at you sometimes,” confides Rob Phaneuf to ETO. “One of them even pinched my arse and propositioned me when no one was looking.” Lovehoney is spending so much on wheelbarrows that it decides to source its own range from China and release them to the gardening trade through ABS Holdings.
JUNE: At the ETO Awards Dinner the Best New Female Product Award goes to a vibe called Sensitive Partner. After the user has climaxed it asks how she feels and strokes her hair. The Best New Male Product Award is given to a male masturbator, Authentic Drunken Sexual Encounter, which smells of fish and leaves the user’s private parts itching for several days afterwards. During the Awards Dinner no one drinks too much or embarrasses themselves. Also this month, a pig flies and England win the World Cup in Brazil. One advertiser is insulted and offended when it does not win an award however [Just the one? - Ed], and the firm immediately pulls all its advertising from ETO. Tracey Cox writes a feature in Cosmopolitan in
which she enthuses about the joys of wheelbarrows: “Us Brits are notoriously bad at communicating about handcarts which have a wheel at the front and two handles behind,” she states. “In the beginning, when you’re gardening yourself silly, talking about ways to transport plants from the car to the flower beds is easy. In fact, most of us don’t shut up about it! We’re all smug and self congratulatory and doing it every night but over time the passion dims and soon we’re not only not doing it, we can’t even talk about it. That’s why I recommend couples to try the new Tracey Cox SuperBarrow. It doesn’t need batteries, it’s completely waterproof, it’s got a soft pneumatic wheel and it doesn’t mind a bit of heavy duty work too, if you know what I mean!” Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones bumps into Rocks-Off’s Ian Marshall at Glastonbury. “Hey, I’ve been a fan of your stuff for years, man,” Jagger says. “Lovin’ the hair - any chance we could work together on something?”
JULY: Blackpool adult retailer Saints & Sinners telephones ETO to complain that one of its Pipedream Extreme GIRLs has walked out of the shop and is parading itself along the Pleasure Beach, frightening the tourists. “What can we do?” Sue Judge asks. “We’ll lose our licence if the council gets to hear about this.” Following 2013’s Channel 4 documentary which followed real women designing sex toys for Ann Summers, the retailer goes one step further and invites applications from real women to make them. The successful finalists are whisked off to China where they are shown to the production line and given a set of overalls. When asked by the documentary maker if she feels she is being exploited, as she is not being paid, one woman replies: “What’s that love? Ooh, no, I’m just honoured to be part of this whole process.” Lovehoney brings out a range of soft bondage and fetish items based on wheelbarrows.
AUGUST: More retailers report instances of Pipedream Extreme GIRLs becoming sentient and walking out of shops. Pipedream’s Nick Orlandino tells ETO: “Yeah, we may have gone a bit too far. The latest software is so sophisticated that some of the GIRLs have developed independent intelligent thought and, unless they are
Erotic Trade Only New Year 2013/14
Following the success of the Skins Condoms tie-in with characters from TV programme Downton Abbey, the company recruits cast members of Coronation Street for a new range of no-nonsense condoms in plain brown paper packaging. “‘Appen these are our kind of folk,” Jane Bowles tells ETO, while supping a pint of bitter in a backstreet Manchester pub. “By ‘eck, me and Richie, we’re as northern as the day is long, tha knows. Always have been, always bloody will be. Richie, be a love and run down t’corner shop and get us a balm cake for us tea, will you pet?” Due to popular demand, Pipedream starts assembling entire silicone women from its Mega Masturbator body parts at its factory, complete with BRAIN. The new product is named the Pipedream Extreme Grandiose Intelligent Recombinant Lover, or GIRL for short.
William Wallace announces he is relocating Darker Enterprises to Bannockburn in Scotland, due to advantageous tax breaks the Scottish parliament is promising after independence. A purpose built HQ is commissioned by the company. Lovehoney has become so successful that it places a recruitment ad in ETO. The firm is looking for people whose only job will be to take money to the bank in wheelbarrows.
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The rising importance of bloggers
2/12/13
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Blog On The rising importance of bloggers to online marketing strategies
Erotic Trade Only New Year 2013/14
Are you missing a trick when it comes to your online marketing strategy? If you don’t include bloggers then you might very well be. Eroticon organiser Ruby Kiddell explains more...
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The online sex toy retail landscape is becoming increasingly more competitive. With the “buy sex toy” search results dominated by a handful of large sites on the first page and a plethora of white label dropshipping sites following after, you may be wondering how you can differentiate your sex toy company in the eyes of the search engines and reach out to new buyers. Building blogger outreach and relationship programmes are a cost effective way to reach out to new audiences and consolidate existing ones but let’s be clear effective blogger outreach constitutes and delivers a lot more than sending out products for review and a backlink. In the past sex toy review programmes concentrated on generating onsite content and reviews that helped not only supply keyword rich content but also helped drive product sales. If a reviewer also happened to have a blog and wanted to post the content that was an added extra. With the on-going refinement of search engine algorithms and the increasingly savvy sex blogging community blogging relationships have to go beyond a repeat posting of an onsite review. Blogger outreach can raise awareness of your brand and products, drive traffic to your site and sales pages and most importantly of all it does this to an audience of readers that is already engaged within your niche. Bloggers work hard to develop content that is relevant to their readers and with many also having active social media accounts across multiple platforms this increases their potential reach exponentially. GETTING THE MOST FROM YOUR OUTREACH AND REVIEW PROGRAMME: Onsite and offsite review programmes are still relevant and useful, but they serve different purposes and understanding things from a blogger’s point of view is crucial to effective blogger outreach and reviews. Make sure the following tips are included in
your outreach checklist: * Know your goals - are you trying to raise brand awareness or increase hits to a particular product. Plan your campaign with your goals in mind and know how you’ll measure them afterwards. * Do your research - make sure the blogger matches the audience you’re trying to reach, there’s little point asking a single gay man to review a sex toy aimed at a straight couple. Most blogs will have an “about me” page and social media accounts, take a little time to get to know the blogger before you approach them. * Get it all in writing - make sure you have agreements on logistics such as product dispatch and review timings in writing before sending out products. This avoids any confusion or upset later. * Duplicate content - search engines hate it, bloggers hate it, and readers are bored by it. If you’re using the same reviews onsite and off make sure the content isn’t a cut and paste. * Disclosure - products in exchange for reviews constitute advertising and as such come under the auspices of the ASA - this means that legally a review needs to be disclosed when it is posted on a blog. * Follow /nofollow links - Google penalises links that pass page rank and they are getting stricter on their applications of penalties with both big name companies such as Interflora being deranked as well as bloggers. Some bloggers will pass page rank (follow
links) some won’t. Be clear from the start what you want from your review. * Don’t expect copy approval - if you want copy approval you’re better off writing a press release and using that. Good bloggers value their independence and build their readership based on trust and transparency. Asking them to rewrite a review or to leave out negative feedback isn’t going to win you any friends. * Have an affiliate programme - if you have an affiliate programme let the bloggers know if you’re happy to use affiliate links in their reviews, it’s a great way to add extra value to the relationship. * Keep communicating make sure bloggers know when products have been dispatched and any reminders or updates they may need and respond to queries promptly. * Sharing is sexy - once a review is up, share it across your channels and encourage your followers to share too. BEYOND SEX TOY REVIEWS, OTHER WAYS TO HARNESS THE POWER OF BLOGGER OUTREACH: Don’t just rely on sex toy reviews for your blogger outreach. Creative, well thought out projects that are supported via your social media and marketing channels can make you stand out from the slew of vibrator reviews. * Events and product launches - hosting blogger events, product launches or including your bloggers in your staff development days, shows you appreciate the contribution they are making to your business and gives them exclusive insights. * Exclusive access - inviting bloggers to be product testers, beta readers or giving them exclusive access and deals on your site helps develop loyalty and ongoing awareness. * Guest writers - working with bloggers and inviting guest posts onto your website is also a fantastic way to source original, relevant content. With the recent Hummingbird search algorithm update deployed by Google rewarding the use of
Phishing for compliments
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Hacked Off Phishing for compliments The National Crime Agency warned businesses last month that organised crime groups were targeting businesses with ‘ransom’ email spam malware that encrypts computer fails - seemingly sent from financial institutions. Adam Bernstein is your guide through the cyber-jungle... Hacking, online security-breaches, phishing, cloning call it what you will, but computer security is a real problem that’s becoming not only more acute, but something that now affects all businesses. Consider the unfortunate situation that Oxford based Popham Hairdressing found itself facing recently. A small twosalon firm, it suffered at the hands of an overseas cyber-attacker who infected and locked down the firm’s eight computers and demanded a payment of £5,000 per computer. Popham didn’t - couldn’t - pay and the attacker made good on his threat. Some data was recovered, but not before much disruption and cost which the firm estimates as being in the region of £8,000. Popham’s mistake was to not only leave their computers on over a weekend but also to fail to protect their equipment adequately. At the other end of the spectrum, 2011 saw Sony’s PlayStation network hacked, compromising the personal details of up to 100m customers and resulting in the network shutting down for several weeks. The costs to Sony were around $171m.
Erotic Trade Only New Year 2013/14
STATISTICALLY SPEAKING
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And the problems are only set to increase. A Sky News report (23rd April 2013) outlined the results of the government’s 2013 Information Security Breaches Survey that showed that 87% - up 10% on the year of small firms experienced a breach of some kind while 93% of large firms had been targeted. In some cases, the damage caused by the intrusion cost more than £1m, but for small firms the average cost ranged from £35,000 to £65,000. Interestingly, 36% of the worst security breaches were caused by inadvertent human error while 57% of small businesses suffered staff related security breaches. Yet despite the risk, a Home Office report, Crime Against Businesses: Detailed findings from the 2012 Commercial Victimisation Survey, says that the average amount spent on IT security, per year, by businesses was only £200. Joe Ross writing on the Huffington Post said: “Cyber security can be overwhelming and when you have to worry about all other aspects of running your businesses, it is often overlooked. Yet there are many things a small business owner can do to protect their information that don’t take a lot of time, money or manpower.” The problem is that technology has now evolved to a point where many small businesses now use online (cloud-based) applications to store and share company data. They have employees bringing and storing information on their personal devices. There has been a complete assimilation of social networks into almost everything - employees and
customers are sharing more information than ever online and to a worldwide audience. These practices are making small businesses more susceptible to data loss and breach. Just look at the use of Facebook and Twitter to promote businesses; the likes of Dropbox and Skydrive to transmit files around the globe almost instantly; and the ubiquity of smartphones that can surreptitiously take images of sensitive information. PROTECTION MATTERS So putting the worrying background to one side, what should businesses be doing to protect themselves? The first thing to realise is that technology users can never be totally safe. The best that they can do is to minimise the risk of attack. Users should never be so naive to think that they are invulnerable. The next step is to understand exactly what is at risk, ie your data and IT equipment. Just think of what you hold and use - employee and client information, payroll data, banking credentials, pricing and performance information and so on. In terms of equipment think of the computers, web connected printers, your telephony systems and broadband and data backup systems. It’s important to realise that the threats are not just external (as in career criminals), they can be competitors or former and current employees. And remember that cyber-attack doesn’t necessarily mean attack by a rogue gang armed with banks of computers; it can boil down to an employee who abuses a computer system for their own benefit. By way of example, a small family run publishing house in Sussex suffered a £210,000 loss perpetrated by their bookkeeper with access to the accounts system. But other forms of attack include the blatant theft of equipment - laptops, smartphones and memory sticks, remotely conducted attacks on your systems, and attacks on systems belonging to other firms linked to you - cloud storage, for example. PLAN FOR AN ATTACK Before any steps can be taken to reduce the risks, you need to assess the state of your business in terms of your present security measures. You need to
detail your records, where they’re stored and how they’re protected right now and at the same time, what equipment you use and which companies provide critical services to the firm. Are there alternatives in case of disaster? For example, if your computers are taken hostage by an intruder, how would you work or recover the records? How well are your staff briefed on security? Are they lax when choosing passwords? Are they aware of how important it is to not discuss sensitive information with third parties? Do you change passwords when staff leave? Are you really as IT literate as you think you are? No matter how good your knowledge might be, there will be someone out there who knows more than you. For this reason, it’s important to have the backup of a good IT support company that you can trust to implement good IT security for your systems. An expense, yes, but put into the context of insurance the premium maybe a pain, but it’ll cost much less than any claim you may make. PUTTING A NEW REGIME IN PLACE Once your thoughts have been codified, then comes the practical implementation of a new security plan. Controlling access to your network is the first line of defence. This means turning on the firewalls on your computers and the network devices you employ. At the same time, take care of your wireless networks by enabling the strongest encryption the network allows, engaging MAC address filtering and turning off the SSID broadcasting. In simple terms, the encryption is akin to a lock to your front door; the MAC address can be likened to an approved guest list; and the SSID is the name the device broadcasts to other network devices - sometimes the default setting will broadcast the product name that
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helps hackers crack it. Next you need good anti-virus software on all computers - PCs and to a lesser extent Apple Macs. As one unnamed Oxfordshire NHS surgery recently found, once a virus is loaded to one networked computer, it can quickly propagate around the whole network causing pandemonium. It was, in this instance, believed that one or two members of staff were visiting websites that they really ought not to have been. The lesson? Lock down computers to allow certain acceptable sites and no more. At the same time, ensure that all computers are regularly updated to take account of software patches that are issued. Part of the solution is to also educate employees (and write policies) as to what they can and cannot do with a computer and the best practices of data security (and passwords). Also consider those that can work offsite and the devices they utilise. The
National Cyber Security Alliance in the US, www.staysafeonline.org, has materials and information on employee education that may help. The advice on email is to be careful on what is opened and the links that maybe offered. The best phishing scams replicate legitimate organisations and seek information that can be used to log on to accounts without the need to hack. At the same time, don’t let web browsers store passwords - enter them each time manually - and also look for ‘https’ in the web browser address of any organisation you are logging into to demonstrate site safety. Secure the equipment. This means logging all the
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equipment that you possess, the software (and licences) utilised and most importantly, the passwords for individuals and for administrators. The passwords need to be changed regularly and whenever, for example, someone leaves. At the same time, restrict the use of recordable media such as CD/DVD disks, USB memory sticks and external hard drives. This not only makes it that much harder for anyone to take data off the premises but also reduces the risk of data being lost. Monitor everything. There’s precious little point in setting up control systems for your IT if you don’t monitor what’s going on. So collect activity logs and make sure that you have the ability to find unauthorised usage. At the most basic of levels, broadband routers can easily be set to automatically report - via email - any third party attempts at intrusion. By extension, manage user rights for systems and control access to sensitive equipment and data. Again, at the most basic of levels, ensure that computers don’t have administrator rights that will allow users (or hackers) to easily change system settings or load unauthorised software. Many businesses don’t fully appreciate that third parties they engage can introduce risk. If, for example, you plan to store information offsite and online - in the cloud you need to ensure that the third party is both reputable and reliable. Allied to this, if online systems allow employees access to sensitive information, see if the third party offers twofactor (think two signature) authentication. Only collect and store data that you need. The Data Protection Act 1998 already makes this quite clear, but in simple terms, one way to limit the risk of breach is to simply not collect and store information beyond what is absolutely necessary because whatever you do collect has to be protected. Invest in regular credit report checks looking for unauthorised activity or an unexpected drop in credit rating. These can be signs that your systems have been compromised. The credit references agencies - see www.bipa.uk.com - provide various products to alert subscribers of suspicious activity. Lastly, and most importantly, create a disaster recovery plan and test it. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Clearly the risk of burying your head in the sand is grave. While some firms maybe lucky enough to never be the victim of an attack, the consequences of being selected cannot be ignored. Apart from the financial loss and the chaos following an intrusion, the public vilification and loss in client confidence that firms face following an attack must surely be a call to action. In July 2013, Kitchenware Lakeland was forced to publically admit that its passwords system has been hacked and that customer accounts could be at risk. Don’t put yourself in the same situation.
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