the couple was very happy with my effort. Unfortunately the wedding didn’t last. Each wedding is special. It is two people’s public commitment to each other and the culmination of their love, their highlights and lowlights, shared interests and memories and the hope of a life spent together. In my opinion, it is not a decision to be made lightly. I still get teary-eyed at every wedding, whether as a guest or photographer.
Editors note:
I have always been a fan of weddings. Since I can remember, I’ve loved seeing the bride and groom all dressed up; the décor, the flowers and, of course, the food. The whole experience held a certain magic. From my early days in the hospitality industry I’ve worked hundreds of weddings. I started with food preparation, then made my way to set-up; the right people obviously saw my interest in décor so I moved up yet again. I have a real knack for flower arranging. I’ve done a few friends’ weddings as a gift before I realized that I am way too good to keep on doing this for free. So I started charging. I remember this particularly fancy, expensive wedding I did in England. The bride was a feisty one and knew exactly what she wanted – before she changed everything. Her flowers cost around £1000. In 2007, that was a lot. After much back and forth and daily décor changes, I decided to put my foot down. My ideas were great, and I knew it. I booted the bride out one last time and went to work. The flower arrangements, which were a profusion of fuschia and white, were fantastic. When all was said and done,
Of course my own wedding was the most emotional I’ve ever been at any celebration! There is no feeling like seeing your bride walk down the isle; it is the moment of a lifetime. Truly, when it’s real, you walk out of there a changed man. This issue is for everyone who is planning a wedding, knows someone who is – it’s for mothers-in-law-to-be, bridesmaids, matrons of honour, best men, groomsmen and everyone else who loves weddings. We have carefully selected every article, feature and image. Enjoy our Wedding Issue; we loved creating it.
The Creative King Team.
1.When and how did you meet and was there an instant connection? Heinz: We met through a mutual friend,
Jo Niemand; he was hosting a games evening. I came late; Aletté was already there. Yes, there was an immediate attraction and connection to each other.
2.What does marriage mean to you? Aletté: Marriage, to me, is one of the
most sacred and most important relationships that you’ll ever have because you’re sharing everything you are with this one person. Besides my relationship with God, this is the second most important relationship in my life. There’s nothing like that. We’ve tried to imagine what people must go through when they divorce. When we talk about it, we can’t think of sharing this intimacy with someone else. The mere thought baffles my mind. To me, it is so amazing to know that there is somebody who knows me inside out, who dreams with me, knows all my flaws, all my highs and all my lows, and still loves me.
Heinz: Marriage, to me, is the
cornerstone of humanity, of society; and it is one very important pillar instituted by God. We’ve made it a legal thing, we’ve made it a system, but the original Author of marriage is God Himself. That’s why it is such an amazing institution, because it’s God-made. When people try to get married their way, like living in an uncommitted relationship and one day decide to get married and six months down the line they get divorced, they blame marriage. There’s nothing wrong with marriage. There’s something wrong with the way people approach marriage.
They don’t understand what it’s about. It’s a covenant relationship instituted by God and it’s very serious. And inside the boundaries He gave us, it is the best and most amazing thing that you can ever experience.
3.Were both of you involved in the planning of your wedding? Please give a few details. What was the wedding day like? How did you each experience it individually? What do you both remember most about the day? Please answer separately. Aletté: We were both involved in the
planning of our wedding. I must say, at that stage I was so in love that I couldn’t care less about the wedding day itself. We had wedding planners, which were great; otherwise we would not have had the day that we had. However, afterward, when you think back, there’s always something that you want to change. But when we were planning the wedding, I had such butterflies in my stomach.
Heinz: My focus was the honeymoon. I
put a lot of effort into planning the honeymoon. For me that was actually almost more important than the wedding itself. That’s where life together really starts. That’s when we can be alone for the first time as husband and wife. I was also very much involved in everything. Aletté said that the wedding planners took a lot of the
strain off, but there were still a lot of things that needed to be decided and done by us. I had 7 groomsmen and she had 7 bridesmaids. That in itself took a lot of planning. There were things that were important to me that I’d seen at other weddings, for example, I wanted the guests to have something to do while we were taking photos. I have been at many weddings where we stood around waiting for 3 hours while the drinks and snacks lasted only 5 minutes! Then everyone waited for the couple to come back. And also, I’ve never seen an engagement video. When we got engaged, I decided to record the whole engagement. We made a video and showed that to our guests while we were having our photographs taken. That was quite nice and we got good feedback from that. We didn’t have a normal wedding because we had media there, which helped us in other ways. But, despite the presence of the media, we still had a very intimate and godly wedding, as we wanted it to be. It was very special because Aletté’s father married us, and 2 of the pastors whom I have walked a road with were also part of the ceremony, and that meant a lot to me. I think the highlight for us was the worship during the ceremony, and having fun with friends and family.
4.Heinz, how did your celebrity status influence your wedding day then and your marriage, today? Aletté: You know what is so amazing,
and I can give God all the glory; He totally chose me to be Heinz’ wife. It’s the perfect match. I have never been jealous of him; I have never been jealous of fans trying to get his attention or get photos with him. It really doesn’t faze me at all. It never has.
Heinz: It’s not an act. One of the first
moments that I knew she was different and that she’s my wife, was the first time we were together alone. There were fans that wanted photo with me, so she grabbed the camera and took the photo and said, “come on, hou hom stywer vas!” It was great. It’s a tricky question to answer because it’s always been there.
Aletté: From the time that I met Heinz,
he was already “ famous”. I don’t have anything to compare it to.
Heinz: It’s difficult to say how it has
impacted things. The one thing that we try to always keep in mind is to not let it guide how we are together in public. We obviously have a public persona in a way, and you don’t want to make everything that’s private known to the public. But, there’s an authenticity that is important and we try to be ourselves regardless of where we are and what we do. I think it was a lot easier figuring out how to be married and be famous than it is to be parents and be famous. To have kids in public is more of a challenge than to be married in public.
Aletté: I must add that it was fantastic
being at a honeymoon destination out of the country where no one knew us. That was the one thing that I wasn’t going to allow. A lot of people try to get their honeymoons for free if they take a photographer along. I will just I pay and not have anyone near us. Having the wedding in the media was fine, but I wanted our honeymoon to be private. No one knew where we were and that was awesome.
5.What makes your marriage work? Aletté: For me it was the fact that we
knew we were made for each other. We got word and scripture and if you know without a doubt that you’re marrying the right person it doesn’t matter what happens, because stuff is going to happen. The papaya will hit the fan sometime, but then you know you’ve got the Word of God to stand on, and that Word never lies. If you know in your heart that this is the right person for you, there’s no way out. It’s going to work out. Whatever you’re going through, He will make a way where there seems to be no way. For me, there’s nothing else. You have to make it work.
allowed the enemy to come in and take what was his to take because you gave him authority to take it. It is a spiritual battle all the time. I’m convinced that the enemy’s plan is to take out men so that he can take out marriages. That’s how he destroys society. So, we need to stay close to God individually and as a couple and in our marriage so that our family will be strong.
Aletté: I think one of the biggest
challenges for me is to have kids. Suddenly your time is split in five, your energy, your attention, everything is divided and it’s a challengeto keep the In order to make it work, for me, order right. God first, then your husband, the most important thing is to have learned and then your children. When there are is to stay humble. To stay in a place of 3 children and 1 husband they outweigh surrender. Eph. 5 gives us such clear Him but you have to keep that instructions as to our roles in a marriage. order right if it’s going to work. Another I got some excellent advice once and challenge for us is traveling a lot and that is, to say sorry first. We both know that keeping everything alive. You have to we have to bow before God and get the touch base regularly and reflect on where strength to work through the tough stuff everyone is at. The greatest joy is having and the conflicts. And also, when things children as well. Having children being are going well, to stay in that place of birthed out of us and seeing how they submission. That’s our cornerstone. have a part of both of us and how that combination in one little person works. Also, like Heinz said, being married to your best friend and knowing what he is thinking even before he says it.
Heinz:
6.What are the biggest challenge and the biggest joy in your marriage? Heinz: The joy, for me, is to be married
to my best friend. Someone that knows me so well and loves me so well with all my issues and weaknesses. And despite that, still sticks with me. That is a constant source of joy. One thing that I’ve learned is that being in love and loving someone are two very different things. Being in love is based on emotion; it comes and goes. Love is a choice – a daily choice. Sometimes it feels like work. It is hard work to keep on loving someone. When people say they have fallen out of love or they don’t love someone anymore that is a lie. You’ve
7. Aletté, what made you wear that specific wedding dress? How did wearing it make you feel? It’s overwhelming to choose a dress for your wedding day, especially if you have the choice of anything. You have a designer standing next to you waiting for your instructions. This was before Pinterest. It was really difficult. I was so in love that I just wanted a beautiful dress. I didn’t have the right vocabulary back then to describe
what my dress should look like. I felt like a princess; every time I went for a fitting it was unreal. You dream about it from such a young age, and to stand there with this amazing dress, when they put the veil on; there is something holy about a veil. I think it’s very significant getting married with a veil. I was so excited about Heinz’ reaction.
Heinz: Afterward, I heard that she was
waiting for quite a while outside the door. She came a bit early and the pastor was still busy. The wind was blowing. My experience was amazing. I was blown away. Something cool that happened was that, when they eventually opened the door, the sun was shining from behind and created such a beautiful picture of her and when she started walking down the isle the lights filled in the rest. Like an angel.
8.Looking back: How have you grown, as individuals and as a couple, since your wedding day? Please share your journey. Aletté: I’ve grown in clothing sizes
(laughs). Seriously, I have grown in saying I’m sorry.
Heinz: One of the biggest things in a
marriage is handling conflict. For the first couple of months there is a honeymoon phase where you’re so in love that everything is easy. I always tell the stories at my shows when I do love songs. The honeymoon phase is amazing. I ask people in the audience who have been married for a long time: do you remember the time when you didn’t say anything mean about the other person; you didn’t talk about anything that irritated
you or that you disliked? You were just nice to each other the whole time. Then suddenly there was a conversation about why he left the toilet seat up, or why did she leave it down? These small things suddenly become important and you start arguing about the these stupid little issues. But then the bigger things start cropping up. I remember when we had our first big conflict. I was walking after Aletté because I was trying to solve the problem. I grew up in a home where my parents handled their conflict in front of us and it wasn’t always pretty. However, we also saw them resolve it and make up afterwards. My personality type says ‘tell me what’s wrong, let’s sort it out and let’s move on.’ Aletté grew up in a house that handled conflict differently, so we had a very difficult time in the beginning, with me pushing to solve it and her pulling back. We were both very independent when we got married; we each had our own place, furniture, life! After we got married I (Aletté) realized that now I have to tell him everything!
Heinz: She bought a flat without
consulting me! But, jokes aside, that is one area that we’ve grown so much in – handling conflict with each other. And, we’re still growing in it because it’s an ongoing thing. As you get older and move into a different season of your life, you find that different things cause conflict now than before. As a couple you have to find a way to handle it and I think we’ve found our way. Deal with it when it happens in a way that works for both of you.
Aletté: I think one mistake that couples
make, especially the bride, is to be too focused on the wedding day. Everything has to be so perfect and she has to fit in this perfect dress… this big day is almost like an idol in their lives. You live for this one day and 24 hours later, it’s all over. What happens then?
Heinz: If I can give some advice, I would say that you really need to know the kind
of person that you’re marrying. Go for premarital counseling, work through the tough questions and be wise in your choice of a mate, because it’s for life. Marry as a whole person – in marriage, two halves don’t make a whole! Heinz has recently launched his first independent album and his first Christian contemporary worship album, The Roar. It is a very special album that has been borne out of some of their toughest times, which include the decision to move to Cape Town as well as a big decision to leave his record label and do an independent album. This album originally started out as an Afrikaans contemporary album, but after careful thought and input from trusted people, became his first Christian album.
Budget
Determine your overall budget for everything, then break it down into different parts like catering, which includes all the food, snacks, treats, and even your wedding cake.
Guests
S o, you’re getting married. You’re on a high right now because you’re planning the party of the year. Once the emotion of the engagement has worn
off, the reality of planning your biggest day sets in. It’s good to have an outline of what needs to be done. Have these handy hints nearby.
Theme It
Think about what type of wedding you want. Usually this refers to what time of day you want it to start. Once you’ve established this, get to work on the theme, or style, of your day. This is probably one of the most important decisions (except the dress, of course), as it will be reflected in every detail. The theme or style is determined by your personality, likes and dislikes, taste and preference and budget. When you’ve decided on the theme, make a list of all the elements that it affects, e.g. • stationary (invites, order of service, seating plan, menus, thank you cards) • décor (centre pieces, flowers, table décor, ceremony décor) • food (brunch, lunch or dinner, snacks, sweet treats, cake) • wedding attire, like the dress and suit
In putting together your guest list, remember that the day is about you. Don’t invite someone you haven’t seen in a few years and don’t be bullied into inviting someone you don’t really want to be part of your special day. Be ruthless if you have to. Relatives can be a difficult one; but it’s really of no use inviting an aunt or uncle if you haven’t seen them since you were little. Don’t succumb to pressure; you are the queen of this ball so everyone has to play be your rules.
More Lists
If you’ve never been one for lists, now is the time to start. Planning a wedding is no easy task if you do it yourself and there are a million things to consider and remember. The details are endless. Get into the habit of putting everything on a list. Make different categories of lists and put them in a flip file. It wouldn’t help losing one of the lists!
D o n’ t F l y A l o n e
This is the time to enlist your most trusted wingmen/women to assist you in the planning and be on-hand when you need them most. Friends through thick and thin. Choose your team wisely. Remember that there will be days when you might be at your worst. This is ok, as your life, your sanity and possibly your happiness will revolve around this day being as special and unforgettable as you can make it. The best people to have around you for the duration of the planning are patient, efficient and willing to submit to your plans and they really must love you!
The Date
Picking a date can sometimes be just as controversial as deciding whom to invite or not to invite. You will never be able to please everyone or include everyone. Make peace with that. Choose a date that is practical for both of you, that fits with your work schedules and most importantly, that works for both of you. As you invite people quite a few months ahead of time, they can plan around it, make adjustments and put it in their diaries. Amidst the frenzy of planning a wedding, most people, the bride included, tend to forget that this day is about 2 people and anyone worth their salt will break a leg just to be there for the couple’s special day.
Location, Location, Location
As with all major events, location is probably one of the most important considerations. This one is no less important. The only difference is that it has to be perfect… for YOU. It’s always good to be practical and consider the number of guests that you want to invite, but don’t choose your wedding location to suit your guests. There will always be people that complain about the distance, etc. Please yourselves. If you want to make a statement and have an underwater wedding, your guest list will obviously narrow down considerably, but then choose a reception venue that allows for more people.
About 12 Months To Go Make the Bookings • Location/s
When you’ve finally settled on a venue for the ceremony and the reception, secure them with a formal booking. If you’re still not 100% sure, make a tentative booking anyway. The last thing you want is to decide on a venue that is taken because you couldn’t make up your mind. Make appointments with the people that are going to be handling your wedding.
• Wedding Services
Hair stylists and make-up artists are very busy people, so find the ones that you want and book them as soon as you’ve settled on the wedding date. Make appointments to see them a few months down the line for trial sessions.
• Florist
Secure a good florist that you’re confident can deliver the look and style that you want. Make an appointment for a full briefing and trial session so that they know exactly what you have in mind.
• Photographer
The wedding industry is flooded with photographers but finding one may prove difficult if you leave it too late. Do the research, find one that best suits your particular style and preference, and book them. Again, make an appointment closer to the wedding day to fully discuss the day, different locations that are suitable for photos, the family photos, etc. It would be a good idea to meet with your photographer at the venue so that you can both get a visual idea of specific shots and where the photographs will be taken.
• Music
Choose a suitable disc jockey or hire a band for the reception. Book them straight away, as these entertainment types are usually booked for parties and functions as well.
• Officiator
Book the person who will be conducting your ceremony. Whether it’s a priest, pastor or registrar, they are also in high demand so book them early to avoid disappointment.
The Dress
Now that most of the bookings are out of the way, you can spend time choosing the most treasured dress you’ll ever wear. Take a few days and make the most of it. Book your mom or best friend, try on different styles, have lunch, talk about it, and try on some more dresses until you fall in love.
Save The Date!
It’s a good idea to send word to everyone you intend to invite. Create simple ‘save the date’ e-cards informing them to keep the date free. You can send the formal invitations later.
Bridesmaids’ Dresses
Now that you’ve taken care of yourself, it’s time to look after your ladies in waiting. Decide what you want your bridesmaids to wear, and make arrangements to have their dresses made, or simply buy them. Choose something that compliments your dress and the general style and colour scheme; remember, the final say is yours.
Suit Them Up
If your groom still hasn’t come to the party, now is the time. His suit needs to coordinate with yours, and his groomsmen must be dressed. Suits must be selected, made or bought.
The Cake
Choose a wedding cake that lives up to the theme and style of the wedding. It has to be something that you both like. Book a caterer and work with him/her to ensure that you get what you pay for.
Transport Eight to Six Months Before Out-of-Towners Press your guests from out of town for confirmation of attendance a bit earlier and as soon as you have numbers, book their accommodation. This is important, especially if you’re getting married during the holidays.
Caterers
By now you will know what kind of style your wedding will be, as well as the time of day, so book an independent caterer if the venue isn’t doing it. Arrange a meeting to discuss the menu and be very specific about any dietary requirements your guests might have.
Invitations
Start working on the invitations. If you’re making them yourself, have fun and be creative. If you need them done, contact a designer and meet up with them to discuss the look and style of your invitations and any other wedding stationary, like the order of service cards, table plans, menus, etc.
If you require any special transportation to and from the venue/s like a limousine, horse and carriage, vintage automobile, etc. book them now. Even if you want uncle Sam to drive you in his 1987 Mercedes, make sure he diarizes the date.
Plan The Day
You should be familiar with all the details of your wedding day by now, so start preparing a detailed plan, from beginning to end, include all the key times, locations where activities are taking place, who is doing what, etc. Keep a copy for yourself and entrust a copy to your matron of honour.
Extras
If your wedding requires additional elements like extra lighting, portable toilets, extra tables and so on, start sourcing and booking them now. Make a list of all the extras that you need.
The Honeymoon
Now for the best part, planning the first holiday that you’ll ever have as a married couple. You might want to try somewhere neither of you have ever been or an old favourite. Plan and book it now, especially if you intend going away soon after the wedding.
Eight Weeks Before Face The Music
Three to Six Months Before
Compile a list of songs that you’d like the DJ or band to play. Choose some of your favourite songs that mean something to both of you, include a few nice dance tunes, and remember your first dance.
This is your farewell to the single life, so plan carefully how you want to go about it. This is actually the chief bridesmaid’s and best man’s job, but allow yourself to have some input. You don’t want to end up being embarrassed or hating every moment of your big night. Some mean well, but don’t let it get out of hand.
At this point you should have booked and discussed most of the people that are going to be involved in some way. Have a final run-through with each of them (florist, caterer, photographer, etc.) to get the last-minute questions out of the way.
Plan Hen Party/Bachelors Party
Touch Base
Passports
Send Out Invitations
Guys, if you’re planning on flying your bride over the water, check that your passports are up to date. Ladies, listen to your intuition. If you have a feeling that you’re going abroad even if you don’t know where, remind your man to check the passports.
Sending out the invitations at this point should just be a formality as your guests already know your wedding date. Include directions to the venue/s for those guests who are not familiar with the area. Make sure you specify an RSVP date very clearly and don’t accept late notices unless it’s an emergency. It adds unnecessary stress. You’ll need time to plan the seating.
Shop For Rings
Write Your Vows
Confer with your spouse-to-be and decide what style of wedding rings you want. Start shopping around. If you’re having them made, arrange a meeting with a manufacturing jeweler to help design and make the rings.
If The Shoe Fits
Your look isn’t complete without a knockout pair of shoes. Select shoes that compliment the style of your dress and be practical. Remember, if your shoes will be covered mostly by the dress; rather choose comfort over style, especially if you are going to dance.
Dress Fittings
Remember to stay on top of this as you can easily get so caught up in the infinite little details of arranging your big day, that you forget to see the dress designer. You want to be 100% happy and comfortable in your wedding dress. To avoid the nightmare of finding out that your dress doesn’t fit or has become too small a few days before the day, go for regular fittings.
If you are bold enough to write your own vows, give yourself enough time to compose them and make changes. This is a matter of the heart, so take time with it. Rehearse them in front of a friend; it always helps getting a second opinion.
One Week to Go Four Weeks Before Check RSVP’s
Remember to keep track of the RSVP’s, or, if you’ve designated someone to do it, check in with him/her. Contact those who have not responded. The seating plans have to be finalized and the caterers informed of decreasing numbers. Remember the special dietary requirements of the guests that will be attending and ensure that the caterers are aware of these.
Drinks Please
As soon as you have a list of confirmed guests, place orders for wine and champagne. Always order a few extra as a back up.
Payments
If there are still outstanding payments for any of the services or vendors, get them out of the way now so that you don’t have to worry about anything when you go off on your honeymoon.
Double-check Times
A good way to reassure yourself that everything is going according to plan, do a final arrival time check with the various vendors and people. It will give you the peace of mind that there are no last minute surprises or misunderstandings.
Wedding Stationary
Get the orders of service, menus, place cards and any other stationary from the graphic designer so that you can give them to the venue staff and other helpers.
Timetable
Sit with your chief bridesmaid or whoever is helping you and go through the timetable for the day. Circulate it to everyone involved.
Pick Up Your Dress
Your dress fits like a glove and is ready to be picked up. Collect it or arrange delivery and hang it somewhere you can see it every day.
Break in Shoes
It is best to put your wedding shoes on during the week for a few minutes at a time to gently break them in and get the feel of them on your feet. You don’t want to walk around with blisters on your wedding day, especially if you’re planning on dancing the night away WEARING your shoes.
Treat Yourself
Go for a relaxing facial, manicure and/or pedicure to get yourself in the swing of things. Another great thing to do is a moisture or shine treatment for your hair the day before the wedding.
The Big Day Remember the Rings
Give the wedding bands/rings to the person who will be carrying them into the ceremony to keep safe. One less thing to worry about.
Link the Right People
If you haven’t already done so, introduce the manager on duty to the best man or maid of honour to liaise with on the day and handle any queries or issues.
Live the Moment!
You look like a queen. Every detail has been taken care of. Your adoring fans await your arrival. You are calm and collected and ready to enter the next phase of your life. Take a deep breath and enjoy the day.
When planning your wedding, one thing that surely takes top priority in your mind is THE DRESS. You’ve probably been thinking about it since you were small, talked about it with friends and dreamed about floating down the isle in your designer gown. Now you’re actually doing it! A few interesting facts about wedding dresses:
Where does the term ‘white wedding’ come from? White as a wedding colour became a popular option in 1840. The term originates from the white colour of the wedding dress, which first became popular with Victorian era elites after Queen Victoria wore a white lace dress at her wedding. The official wedding photograph was widely published and since then, brides worldwide chose white to match the Queen’s choice. Mary Queen of Scotts wore a white wedding gown in 1559 when she married her first husband because it was her favourite colour, although white was the colour of mourning for French Queens. Prior to the Victorian era, a bride was married in any colour, black being popular in Scandinavia. Weddings performed during and after the Middle Ages were often more than just a union between two people. They could have been a union between two families, two business or even two countries. Many weddings of that era were more a matter of politics than love, particularly between the nobility and higher social classes. Brides were therefore expected to dress in a manner that cast their families in a favourable light as they were not only representing themselves during the ceremony. Brides from wealthy families
often wore rich colours and exclusive fabrics. It was common for them to wear bold colours and layers of furs, velvet and silk. Over the centuries, brides continued to dress in a fashion befitting their social status. The poorer brides wore their best church dresses on their wedding day. The amount of fabric used in the dress was also a reflection of the bride’s social standing and indicated the extent of the family’s wealth to the wedding guests. In the 1920’s, wedding dresses were typically short in the front with a longer train in the back. During the 1940’s it became popular to wear long, full-skirted dresses reminiscent of the Victorian era.
Today… Up to a few years ago, white has been the undisputed colour of choice for Western brides. Nowadays, dusty pinks, ivories and champagne hues have gained popularity, which is good news for those whose complexions prefer a softer shade! As for the style, anything goes. From the mini dress to the fitted classic mermaid cut to the full ballgown look, even some pantsuits - the wedding dress have been experimented with as much as any piece of clothing. A wedding dress may even span generations, or parts of it. It is so heartwarming when a daughter incorporates her mother’s dress, or some sections of it, in her own wedding dress.
Let’s look at some of the more common necklines.
Boat Neck This elongated, squarish and sometimes off-the-shoulder style was made popular by Coco Chanel and Audrey Hepburn in the late 1950’s and 60’s. Who should choose this style? Women with small busts and longer necks.
Sweetheart Currently the most popular style in bridal wear, it is characterized by a neckline that resembles the top part of a heart and is often worn on strapless gowns. Who should choose this style? It looks good on all women.
Scoop This neckline forms a u-shape from shoulder to shoulder and flatters without showing too much cleavage. Who should wear this? Women with larger busts.
One Shoulder This more contemporary style oozes classic elegance by drawing the attention upward. Who should wear this? Women with a nice looking collar bone area and shoulder.
A woman’s hair is her crowning glory – hair was curled upwards and with more never more truly than on her wedding day. body. A combination of curlers and a hot Whichever style you choose, your locks get brush is ideal to create this look. a lot of attention, so take special care with them. Let’s look at some of the trends that have marked the past decades.
Swinging Sixties
The sixties was the first time we saw long hair let down, with lots of volume. Great choices include the bouffiant, the French The traditional style of the time was a short, twist, the beehive and the bob with a full curled ‘bob’, for which you can use long or fringe. If you prefer a veil, an up do is a shorter hair. For longer hair, you can use a good choice as it helps to fix the veil in tong, electric or overnight rollers. Take the place so that it doesn’t fall out during the bulk of the hair and roll it under towards day. the nape of the neck, then use grips to pin the ends so they are hidden from view. Since the turn of the century, bridal This creates a wavy effect. Croc-clips, of hairstyles have incorporated all the course, work perfectly when creating this previous looks, and more. There was no look. For a really elegant finishing touch, ‘classic’ style of the decade; the bride’s use a pearl headpiece to fasten on the hair style depended on the type of side. wedding she had – more informal down styles for a morning wedding, up styles for an evening wedding; themed looks also became more popular, for which brides wore their hair according to the theme. For a thirties look, think of it as an adjusted Some brides even let their hair hang loosely around the shoulders. Hair became twenties look with longer hair and more a personal choice and less influenced by volume. Tight curls swept over the face the times. pinned back. It’s a much more elegant
Flapper-girl Twenties
The Thirties
look. Hats or veils were set further back on the head so that you could see more of the hair.
The Forties The forties featured curls all round, with fringes and quaffed curls on the crown and sides of the head. The key to this style is lots of wide-set hairgrips, hairspray and backcombing.
Classic Fifties Think Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor. Once again curls, but unlike the twenties,
Preparing Your Hair
Our hair is exposed to damaging elements on a daily basis – sun and wind, styling, poor diet and stress. There are probably some more influencing factors, but you get the point. We should look after our hair all the time, but if you have a busy schedule or hair just isn’t on your list of priorities, you can do something about it before you walk down the isle. Start with your first visit to the hairdresser. Ask for a trim, just enough to get rid of all the dry, broken ends that will show up when you want to look your best. If you want to change your look, do it now, consult your hair stylist and get some advice on what kind of style will suit you. Once that is done, your hair will automatically look better and healthier and you can start thinking about possible styles for your wedding day. Now the pampering begins. Hair is porous and needs to be treated gently and with respect, just like your skin. Get a luxurious hair treatment mask or make your own. A deeply moisturizing and nourishing one can include avocado, egg, and honey. Secondly, get a good conditioner if you haven’t already got one. About once or twice a week, leave it in and wrap a towel around your hair for 15 – 20 minutes. All the goodness will penetrate your hair and get it shining and in top condition for that very important day. Lastly, to add some beautiful luster, go for a gloss treatment about 2 days before the wedding. Your hair will come alive and will guarantee you looking stunning.
It’s a big deal for any mother to ‘give’ her daugther away as she leaves the security of her home to step into adulthood. There are many things going through a mother’s mind. Awaiting a Daughter’s Birth/Arrival Precious darling child you are perfectly formed and wonderfully created and blessed … you are so welcome, you are gracious you are beautiful you are lovable you are loved you are favoured you are adorable. you are intelligent. You are unique, playful and sporty you are precious. We await your arrival with JOY … We pray for you. WELCOME, OUR BEAUTIFUL CHILD! Then came pre-school, primary school, university – the growing-up years. I watched you grow… the first smile, the first tooth, crawl, the first step. I loved everything about you. I remember the first time you walked away to pre-primary - I cried (like moms do). My child is growing too fast! You just waved at me, laughed and enjoyed your new friends, you social ‘butterfly’! In primary school you excelled: academically and in sport, wow, I was so proud when you came first. I enjoyed watching you partcipate in athletics, tennis, swimming, netball. I watched every match. Then came high school. You just went into senior school like a little soldier, there were new friends, new horizons, boyfriends and girlfriends, tears as relationships didn’t work out (I cried with you!!). You continued to make me proud.
University/College: Mom, Dad, I need a car! I need petrol. I need. I need… As parents, we tried our best to do the BEST for you AND you always gave your best for us. We were and still are so thankful for a child like you – precious and much loved. (And I have the photo album to show off – first letters, cards, notes). Empty Nest Every parent dreads that moment when a child leaves home; work (elsewhere), when a daughter falls in love, when her heart breaks, but then comes the time when she tells you: ‘Mom, this is the ONE!’ ‘Are you sure, my child?’ ‘Yes, Mom, I am sure’. Then it is the time for moms to step back and not always with success! We worry, we wonder, we pray, we believe, sometimes we interfere (not so good!). But we learn when we see that she is happy, secure and loved.
aMother’s prayer:
May angels watch over you your whole life through. May goodness and grace follow you wherever you go. Be happy, be safe, be prosperous - be fulfilled and reach your full potential in life. Don’t stop dreaming. Reach out and catch the stars; your life has a wonderful meaning. And as I catch my tears streaming down my face I know that all is well wherever you dwell. For somewhere, my child, a mother is praying. Saying ‘Dear Lord, please watch over my beautiful child, so wonderfully and fearfully made. Fill her cup to overflowing with love, with joy. Let her dance through life Protect her, guard her to make the right choices. And, dear Lord, please spoil my dear child with health and wealth. And bless this mother with a grandchild!’
“Look mommy, I’ve got my new dress on!” And we would twirl and preen for whomever would watch. Every little girl loves a pretty dress and wants to feel like a special princess. We all have memories of a certain birthday party when we dressed up, tried our best to stand still while our hair was being curled before going to meet our friends and be the belle of the ball. What a feeling when everyone sang ‘happy birthday’ and gave so many presents. Dolls in lovely dresses with long hair just waiting to be plaited, ‘My Little Ponies’ with flowing manes and, of course, the odd marble collection for the tomboys.
only a professional hairdresser makes the grade for such an important occasion. Don’t forget the newest shade of make-up, glossiest, won’t-kiss-off lipstick and oh, a handbag or clutch bag for the phone and everything else.
Ladies, we are made of such stuff. It’s just how we’re put together. From the day that we were born, we were made to shine. Some of us are from the more uncut variety of precious stones, rough diamonds, and then there are the polished emeralds, sapphires and ravishing rubies. Whatever our exterior, we’re all the same inside. We are creatures of incredible strength, wisdom and inner beauty. Then there are the splendid occasions We have all been shaped by our lives’ when we were asked to be bridesmaids and were given the most beautiful dresses circumstances, parents, friends, even the economy. We’ve all made choices that we’ve ever seen. Walking down the isle define us, that propelled us into prosperity before the bride, holding our breath in or hardship, and we’ve had to live with the case we trip, staring at the bride and secretly hoping that we’d be lucky enough consequences of those choices. to have such a dream day. Wherever we are today, most of us will be faced with the prospect of marriage. We Around 12 years old, we suddenly have finally found someone that we want started realizing that boys are more than to spend the rest of our lives with and want just playmates. We would giggle when someone looked at us and found ourselves to make it official. Ladies, please be very dressing for THEM. We became a bit more sure that your guy is worth his salt. Does he love you unconditionally? Do you make aware of what we did, how we did it and constantly compared ourselves to the other a good partnership? Will he protect you, be a safe place for you and regard you girls. There was always someone prettier, as he would himself? Will he journey with thinner, better dressed, more popular you through trials, joy, share the good and and more noticed than us. Who doesn’t remember their first disco or school dance; the bad? Remember, as a princess, you deserve the best for YOU. Nothing else will the hours we spent on our hair and makeup; everything had to be just right. We had do. to look better than THAT girl. And then there was the dress. Nothing was more important Marriage is indeed for life. It is more than just the joining of hands, exchanging of than the dress. vows and the signing of a contract. It is the promise of a lifelong commitment. Come prom night or matric farewell, and The promise to share burdens, to share we rush around frantically from shop to joy, to hold hands and walk together, to mall looking for the dress of all dresses. have each other’s backs. It is the most Mom and dad get squeezed for ‘just a rewarding, hardest, and most important bit more’ money, as only the best will do, journey you will ever make. So, make sure not to mention accessories. It has to be it’s worth it. a new shoe, not a hand me down, and
As we cross over from a single life into marriage, we experience many thoughts and emotions. Have I really looked after myself physically, emotionally and spiritually? Am I a whole person, or am I fractured from too many useless friendships and relationships? Am I able to give myself completely? Do I have any major issues that might interfere in my marriage relationship? Am I ready to commit myself to one man for the rest of my life? Fellow noblewomen, make sure that you are indeed ready. Take some time to reflect; think about your life, what you’ve done or accomplished, where you’ve been and associated with, and, most importantly, who you are underneath all that. For you to be truly radiant on your wedding day, there can’t be any dark clouds on your horizon. Be completely present and in the moment when you walk down the isle. And so, with all the pampering, beautiful make-up, magnificent dress, wedding guests, delicious food, let it all come together in that one life changing moment – a woman of substance, strong, complete, beautiful, a wellspring of life – to meet her beloved at the crowning moment of her life.
Choosing bridesmaids is about much more than deciding who should carry the flowers or wear the pretty dresses. It’s about selecting those women who will stand by you, support you and cheer you on in this big journey that you’re on. Women who will go the extra mile for you, put up with possible outbursts, who will be there for you even if they don’t always agree with you. Anyone can do errands; choosing your bridesmaids is about loyalty and friendship.
your sister, you did grow up together and you’ve most probably been through some stuff together; that bonds people. As for your future sister-in-law, it would be a very strategic move to include her as well. You’ll make a quick ally of her and it will be worth having her on your team when it comes to family matters. Think of it as having more bargaining power when you’re battling with your parents over the guest list.
Let these practical points guide you:
Think Twice – Don’t Make Hasty Assumptions
How Many? Bridal parties can consist of a single maid or matron of honor to more than a dozen attendants. Consider how many guests you’re inviting and the formality of the event. Some say it is best to have one groomsman and one corresponding bridesmaid for every 50 guests, but it’s a personal decision, it’s definitely not a formula. At the end of the day, do what suits your style and preference. If you’re still not sure how many attendants to have, read on.
Less Can Be More The more bridesmaids you have, the greater the potential for complications and, of course, increased costs. More people will have to agree on a dress style, decide on a bridal shower date, and work together to make this as seamless as possible for you. If you’re on a limited budget, think about who has to pay for those perfect bridesmaids bouquets, dresses, make-up… That’s right—you. Blood is Thicker Than Water. If you’re close to your sister and future sister-in-law, definitely include them in your wedding party. Even if you’re not that close to
If your bridesmaids are footing their own bills, don’t write off some friends simply because you think they might not have enough money to afford that red carpet bridesmaid dress you have your eye on. If you want to ask a friend you know is having financial difficulties, you can always tell her that you’d love for her to be a bridesmaid, but understand the financial difficulties. Maybe help her out; offer a small loan if you can’t sponsor her dress and accessories. If she has to decline, promise to find something else for her to do in the wedding. Don’t jeopardize friendships for the sake of appearances.
Bridesmaid, or Brides-man? This is not for the conventional brides out there. If your best friend is a guy, there’s no reason why he can’t be part of your wedding! Today, many couples are including members of the opposite sex to stand by them. In these cases, a man on the bride’s side is simply called an attendant or bridesman, while a woman on the groom’s side can be called a groomswoman. How about that?
Don’t Reciprocate, Initiate Just because someone asked you to be a bridesmaid in her wedding doesn’t mean that you must have her in yours. This isn’t a dinner party invitation that you need to reciprocate. Don’t ask the neighbour you haven’t spoken to in years because she was kind enough to invite you to her birthday 3 years ago. It’s your wedding. Does that sum it up?
Two Instead of One Maids of Honour There’s no rule that says you can’t have two maids of honour. It’s bold, so go for it. If there are two women you feel close to, of course you want them both by your side on your wedding day. Just be aware that they may squabble over honour attendant duties, so be sure to split their responsibilities clearly. Specify who gets to hold the ring, the bouquet, stand right next to you, sign the license, and so on. Maybe talk to them individually beforehand; tell each woman that you really want her there, and that she mustn’t see it as a competition. They have to understand that they are both in this privileged position because they each bring something special, and that you need them both.
Uneven Numbers are Fine There’s no law of symmetry when it comes to wedding parties—no synchronized ballet that requires everyone to have a partner. Don’t put yourself under the added pressure to fill positions. Once you make up your mind about your bridesmaids, get the word out quickly. There might be nothing worse than a friend who assumes she’s going to be a bridesmaid when she’s not. If you’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, remember that, as cliché as it sounds, any true friend will understand whatever decision you ultimately make. There are probably many more nuggets of advice when selecting bridesmaids. Whatever, whomever you decide on, do so with a great deal of love, foresight and wisdom. The queen deserves the best at her banquet!
DATE OF THE WEDDING: 10 September 2016 WEDDING STYLE: Classy elegance – Timeless sophistication WEDDING VENUE LOCATION: Summerplace, Hyde Park Bride’s Gown: Bride: Pronovias Bridesmaids: Vanilla Lace Bridal Boutique Groom’s Suit: Frank Bespoke Shoes: Bride: Bride&Co Groom: Tread + Miller Wedding Planner: Planned ourselves Bride’s Hair and Accessories: Duchess of Mane - Sandy Bride’s Makeup: Sel f -done Rings & Jewellery: Louis Daniel (Bride’s ring) Vernon White (Groom’s Ring), Swarofski (Bride’s earings and bracelet) Décor and Flowers: Splendid Wedding Company -Eve Stationery: Designed and printed ourselves Photographer: Ryan Graham Cake: Annicas Music/Entertainment: Wedding Crashers (DJ), Majozi (Entertainment) Lighting/Special Effects: Splendid Wedding Company -Eve
pinnacle of elegance and I knew that it would make my vision come to fruition. we took in Mauritius and the personal video Chris made me for our engagement to give all our guests context on how we met, got engaged and a little of our families.
• Briefly describe your relationship with Chris, differences and similarities • Did you have a theme Since dating, Chris has always called or vision/style for your me his princess and treated me like I wedding day? How did was the only thing that mattered. Chris’s love for me and mine for him has grown you make this a reality? exponentially. • How did you meet and how did Chris propose? It was a typical modern day meeting. We met through “Mutual Friends” on Facebook. Then, once we met face to face, it was a continual courting process from Chris’s side – he spent 10 months pursuing me before graciously asking for my parents’ blessing by showering them with gifts; he even made a photo frame with a letter written to each of them declaring his love for me and the promise for our lives. I threw Chris a lavish 30th birthday party with all our friends and family at the Sandton rooftop hotel. As the night was progressing, Chris got up to say a few thank you’s to the guests who shared in his special day. Chris then called me up and proceeded to read me a letter he had written – expressing his love and appreciation for me. Then, all of a sudden, in front of every-
one, he got down on one knee and asked the magic question. I couldn’t have been happier! Chris videotaped the proposal and himself (the day he decided to marry me, the day he went ring shopping, the day he asked for my parents blessing), and created a montage of our favorite moments while we were dating. He gave the video to me right after he proposed, which presented me with the context of the past few months of planning the engagement.
• What made you fall in love with your wedding venue? We knew we wanted a local Johannesburg wedding to accommodate our guests and nothing screamed class and sophistication lke Summerplace.
We have never lived together before we were married as we have a very traditional view on marriage and dating. Hence, once married, it was quite a shift to merge our two lives. It was more of an adjustment, I believe, for Chris, as I’m quite routine driven and want my house perfect at all times – very different from a bachelor lifestyle.
• How did you set the tone for your wedding in terms of stationery and/ or any different wedding announcement ideas? We wanted timeless elegance and sophistication portrayed in every element of our wedding. This tone was set with a strict black tie dress code, pure white, cream and gold electronic invite. The invite was done on our custom made website, which had a live countdown to the date, as well as our engagement pictures
As mentioned it was pivotal for all elements to have that consistent theme of classy elegance. All our flowers and décor were white, cream and gold. We had a custom made high gloss white aisle which led to a custom made 3m high white draped structure with a hanging chandelier, which we got married under. The guests were entertained by a saxophonist on arrival, outside by the infamous Summerplace fountain. We also had the floor inside the reception covered on the same high gloss, white flooring, with a custom made gold monogram which we had featured on all our elements, even the 7-tiered white and gold wedding cake. Flowers and décor We only wanted the best in the business doing our flowers and décor. Eve Poplett from Splendid Wedding Company made our brief a reality. We didn’t want green anywhere and only requested white,
cream and blush tones for the flowers. The décor consisted of lots of warm candle light bouncing off the crystal candelabras. The entire room was full of flowers and the glitz of the crystals and glass elements bouncing off the white room was overwhelming and breathtaking. Our dream certainly came to fruition.
look off with a 4m long veil. I went for several hair trials, and just fell in love with the down, cascading curls, with a little accent fascinator. I am obsessed with make-up and loved coming up with a simple yet striking look. I had simple drop earings and a bracelet completing the look.
• Wedding look - Ihe • Music/entertainment wedding gown, shoes, We were entertained by the award winchart topping Majozi, who opend up jewelry, accessories, hair ning, our dance floor. Everyone warned us that something will go and make-up etc. wrong on our big day and to our surprise I wanted to look back on my wedding pictures and see a timeless look that didn’t date. My look was simple, classy, with very little glitz – I wanted the emphasis on the dress. Pronivias was the go-to place to find my dress. My brief was sexy yet sophisticated, and this I achieved with a simple mermaid design with your eye being drawn from a timeless sweetheart neckline to the fitted rouched body of the dress, finally ending at the gorgeous ruffles with an exceptionally long train – I finished this
the entire wedding was seamless and went exactly as planned. Wedding highlights
I absolutely loved getting ready with my bridal party, it truly was a relaxing morning. Every little girl dreams of walking down the aisle with their dad toward their future and nothing could prepare me for the emotions of my father giving me away.
Walking into the reception area and seeing my dream before my eyes was remarkable – every vendor we had hired exceeded all of our expections.
• What was special and or unique about the wedding? My husband and I had a particular look and feel in mind for our wedding and with the elegant theme, we were afraid that it could come across as pretentious and cold, however, we were overwhelmed with emotion from our friends and family. There was such a warm, genuine tone that filled the entire day, the love was palpable.
Advice? My biggest word of advice to brides would be to not follow trends, as these always date. Create a wedding that is indicative of your personal style, as weird or outlandish as it may be. I recommend keeping your guests entertained while you
take your photos – we had a saxophonist and a myriad of eats and a drinks offered to our guests including a custom cocktail, a table full of delicious eats as well as divine roaming canapes.
Partners For Life Eddy & Carron
1. When, where and how did you meet? How soon after did you get married? Tell us your story. We met 6 years prior to our dating at a mutual friend’s birthday party. We saw each other from across the room and Eddy approached me and we shared a few words. I, however, had a boyfriend, and Eddy, being a gentleman, did not pursue anything. Six years later his dad met me at church, went home and told Eddy that he had met a lovely girl named Carron. Eddy told his dad that he had met me previously. His dad urged him to contact me. Eddy did. I was single at the time, and so our journey of love began. After two years we celebrated our 2-year anniversary with a trip to Sun City. Eddy arranged for our room to be filled with rose petals leading up to a huge heart of flowers spelling out the words ‘I love you’ in the centre, where the ring happened to be! I was so shocked that I turned around and asked him whether we were in the right room. As I turned around, Eddy was on his knees, and I burst into tears. It was so perfect.
2. Did you have different ideas about your wedding day, and were you both involved in the planning?
3. Did everything go according to plan or did you have to do some contingency planning or crisis management? Fortunately there were no crises to manage. I am a project leader so I made sure that everything was in order. I was very pedantic when it came to the planning, but then, the day was perfect.
4. For the bride: how did you come up with the design of your wedding dress or was it designed for you? How did you feel the first time you put on your dress? I wanted a dress that I would feel comfortable in; something that would make me look like a beautiful bride. I finally settled on a combination of various styles that I found in magazines. I had the dress made. I felt very emotional when I first put the dress on, but then again I am an extremely emotional person.
5. Tell us about the wedding day. What was your experience? What does each of you remember most about the day? Please answer separately.
We had few differences regarding ideas for the wedding but we negotiated through them quickly. The day was The day was extremely everything we had both wanted. Both of us emotional and meaningful. What I were involved in the planning. remember the most was walking down the isle and seeing Eddy cry. He never cries
Carron:
and seeing him cry was affirmation that he loves me and I knew that we would be so happy together. The ceremony was my favourite part!! It was so perfect.
Eddy: Our wedding day was simply
great and actually quite emotional from the moment my beautiful angel walked down the isle to the moment we received our wedding blessing. Everything was just perfect... my wife, the blessing from God, our family and all our friends made our day the best.
6. What does marriage mean to you? Answer separately. Carron: Choosing the one person out
of everyone in the world to whom you vow your love, commitment and loyalty. The promise to cherish your partner and care for him forever. It is the combination of two lives that become one.
Eddy: Someone I’m willing to change
for, that I love deeply with all my heart and soul, someone that I talk to, someone that I trust, that I confide in, love and support, laugh with and work together with to become and remain lifelong partners.
7. Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently? Carron: Honestly, not really. The day
was perfect. There were small things that I would maybe reconsider today, like the colours and flowers; however, I still feel like it was perfect the way it was!!
8. Where did you go on honeymoon, would you recommend the place? Some people wait to go on honeymoon. In your opinion, was it best to go straight after the wedding? Planning a wedding is extremely stressful, so going on the honeymoon immediately after was the best choice we could have made. It was a well-deserved getaway and break. We went to Australia and Bali. It was absolutely amazing and beautiful!! We would surely go again and would definitely recommend it to anyone else.
Amidst all the excitement of choosing the dream dress, it is easy to overlook attire for the groom and groomsmen. They are just as important to the big day after all, and no wedding can happen without them! Up until the late 1800’s, it was customary for the men to get just as dolled up as the brides, sparing no expense to turn up at the wedding matching the bride in fine silks and velvets, gold, silver and gemstones. The wedding of Victoria and Albert changed tradition when the prince chose his field marshall’s uniform over royal finery, thereby letting his bride shine at the wedding ceremony. In the following years, grooms and groomsmen have stepped out of the limelight and, for some time, a standard suit was worn by most grooms. Today, grooms have stepped out again and come attired to the tee in a big variety of wedding clothes. Over the last few years the general trend has been towards more informal and individual groomswear. Nowadays, what the groom wears is almost as important as what the bride does. Picking the right suit for your wedding day is a combination of taste, time of day, style of your wedding, and of course, what the bride-to-be is wearing. Many grooms choose to dress according to their culture or to honour their heritage or profession (traditional costume, tartan, military outfit). Grooms have been arriving in anything from top hat and coattails to tieless and jacketless to wearing the colours of the wedding with matching handkerchiefs and shirts. Grooms are becoming more and more creative when choosing their wedding outfits. The first question you have to consider when choosing your suit is: formal or casual? This first essential question should be
discussed together as it defines the overall look, accessories and shoes, much the same as for the bride.
More formal options include the following: Morning/Dress Suit: This
is a classic look consisting of tailcoat, waistcoat and trousers. Most often seen on the posh or nobility in England, this type of suit should only be worn for morning or early afternoon weddings.
Tuxedo: The quintessential black tie
evening wear, complete with satin-striped trousers and bow tie, is definitely only for dressy evening weddings.
White Tie and Tails: The evening
equivalent of the morning suit, white tie and tails aren’t that common in South Africa. It is an extremely elegant choice for an evening wedding; add a top hat and you’ll give your guests something to talk about! In recent times, the combination of tighter budgets and shift towards men’s fashion has led to a more informal, laid back look.
Informal options include: Casual Suit and/or Jacket:
A linen or cotton suit makes a goodlooking, comfortable summer outfit for the groom. For winter, swop them for a wool jacket and trousers instead. Both can be accessorized with a bow tie for a snazzy, colourful touch.
Contemporary Suit: Simple, elegant, preferably slim-fit, this
is a two-piece in a fashionable fabric, accessorized with a tie in a complimentary colour.
Three-Piece Suit: This is a smart
alternative for a groom who wants to keep a hint of formality yet look modern and fresh. Cufflinks and tie are essential, and a pocket watch would add the finishing touch. This look requires a well-tailored suit, so choose your supplier wisely. If the groom is Mr. Fashion Forward who has his own wild ideas and individualist style, he will want to pull out all the stops for the biggest day of his life. Colour, personality and accessories will be the key factors. It is, after all, the groom’s day too and he should be happy with his wedding look!
Grooms, it is time to let the world know, if you haven’t already done so, how you feel about your lady. If you’re not used to making speeches or have stage fright, you may be tempted to litter your speech with jokes to ease YOUR tension, but the groom’s speech is really a public declaration of love, loyalty and devotion. It’s about your relationship with your bride; so resist the temptation to poke fun at the best man! Use words like ‘my wife’ early on in your speech; it will attract applause and set everyone, including yourself, at ease. A good idea would be to compliment your new bride. Tell her that she is glowing and radiant. This is a rare opportunity to tell her in front of a big gathering of family and friends how special she is. Make the most of it. Second thing to remember is: keep it clean. Avoid bad language or distasteful content; anything that might cause offense. Even if you’re used to talking like that and know that your partner and friends don’t mind, your wedding day is a special and memorable day and should be treated as such. Keep lists to a minimum. Don’t bore everyone by reading off a list. Write down key elements that you want to talk about and elaborate on. The best thing is to speak from your heart. Let all your love pour out – this is also the one day that you’re allowed to shed a tear! At the end of your speech – and this you can list – thank everyone that has played a significant role in your life. Thank the bride’s parents. Remember to make eye contact with your bride when you talk about her; it will make your speech more powerful and sincere. Timing is also important. Too short and everyone will think you’re not really into it, and too long will result in a fidgety
audience scattered with polite smiles. The main part of your speech is about your bride, maybe share a memory or two, what she means to you and end off with relevant thank yous. Five to six minutes should do it. Practice the main points and let your heart guide you. Men, this may be a hard thing to do. But consider this: you’ve just made your lady love yours after months of planning; you’ve probably disagreed over something; you’ve invested money in this. You’ve walked a road with your bride to get to this day – it is the culmination of many things. Make an effort to match the glory of the wedding day. Be thoughtful and kind. You’re the king of the banquet for the day; let your words and attitude mirror this momentous occasion.
According to historic times, men groomed their facial hair with shells, and it was said that Alexander The Great did not go into battle without using the razor. That says something about the masculine species – they feel more confident when they are groomed. The same should be true for the biggest day of your life. Fortunately it’s much easier now to look sharp; so get out that razor or make that booking. Spend some time and effort; get ready to conquer your lady.
Prepare
Have you ever wondered why so many men come to work with razor burn or tissues stuck on his chin? One of the most common mistakes men make is to dry shave, especially when they’re in a hurry. Always prepare your skin by cleansing or rinsing with warm water to soften the skin and beard.
Choose Your Products Wisely
We are spoilt for choice; there are at least 5 similar products on the shelves that compete for your attention at any time. Make use of this luxury by choosing a product that works best with your type of skin. Cream is a good all-rounder for every skin type. Massage it into the beard to further soften and prepare. Foam is most suitable for oily skin as foam generally dries out or irritates sensitive skin. Use foam with a shaving brush. Gel works for normal skin and is ideal for summer. Apply with your hands and massage it in. Oil is great for dry skin and softens tough stubble.
Apply
Don’t be fooled into believing that, if you use more product, the better your shave will be. It is also a myth that shaving against the hair growth provides a better shave; it will result in razor rash. Shave with short, even strokes. Relax and go easy on your beard. Rinse the razor regularly. One thing about any razor – it gets blunt fairly quickly. Replace your razor often for a smoother, more rewarding shave. Always rinse in cool water to close the pores. Again, what you apply afterwards is just as important as your shaving lotion. Alcohol-based after-shaves tend to dry out skin, so if you have one, steer clear of products that contain alcohol. Rather choose a moisturizing after-shave lotion to hydrate your skin.
the bride’s ring until vows are exchanged. He must guard that ring until the moment you need it to seal your love.
couple’s bank account or at least to keep them until the couple returns from their honeymoon.
* The best man is also a bit of a whip master. He needs to check in with the other guys and make sure they’re performing their groomsman duties.
* He gets to decorate the getaway car. He can grab the other groomsmen and the bridesmaids for this one. Once again, people tend to go overboard with this one. Lay down the rules. Tell him what he can and can’t do and be specific. You don’t want any nasty surprises waiting at the end of a beautiful day.
* The best man signs the marriage license as a witness after the ceremony along with the maid of honour. * He is responsible for giving the officiator a sealed envelope with his or her fee (the groom’s responsibility) just after the ceremony.
Choosing your flank isn’t the same as choosing a beer. There is a bit more to consider. Your best man stands by you through it all; he is a general support, provides logistical help before and during the wedding day, he is your go-to guy when there is a crisis, and a great friend that you can count on. Do you even get people like that? Of course you do. You’ve most probably been that person to someone else. Here are the best man’s responsibilities in detail: A best man is not just a glorified groomsman but has special responsibilities -- he’ll be a combination valet and handholder as he helps you, the groom, come through this nerve-racking experience with flying colors. As leader of the team, he will do the following: * He will serve as the groom’s personal aide and adviser before and during the wedding. This can include assisting with the packing for the honeymoon. It has to be someone mature and trustworthy,
someone whose opinion you value. * The best man helps the groom choose and rent (or buy) a wedding outfit, and coordinates the other groomsmen’s rentals. The guys are supposed to match, after all! He may be expected to arrange accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen. * The best man also organizes the bachelor party. He mustn’t be shy about enlisting other groomsmen to help out; most guys don’t mind this duty! The groom isn’t supposed to worry about the finances for this - the cost should be split among everyone who attends the bash. * He attends the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner with the bride and groom and all the other attendants. Everyone needs to know exactly what, where and how before the big day, including the groom! This is your chance to figure out how you’re supposed to walk down that aisle. * The best man has the honour of standing beside the groom at the altar and keeping
* The best man has the pleasure of dancing with both the maid of honour and the bride during the wedding dances. * The biggest and most public duty of the best man is to give the first toast to the bride and groom at the reception, as well as a speech some time later. It has become accepted practice for the best man to be a stand-up comedian and regale the wedding guests with humour and funny stories about the bride and groom; even a few embarrassing ones. Actually, the best man has been chosen to support the couple, especially the groom, in the days and weeks before the wedding. On the day, he is there to provide logistical help. So, it follows that his speech should be sincere, warm and done with the view of blessing the wedding couple instead of trying to make everyone laugh. There’s nothing wrong with one or two interesting stories or memories being shared, but don’t overdo it. Keep it positive and uplifting. Shine the spotlight on the couple. * The best man also collects any gift envelopes guests bring to the reception. He may be asked to deposit them in the
* Lastly, the best man drives the couple to the wedding-night accommodation or airport after the reception, if you’re not driving yourselves. That means he will need to stay sober throughout the reception. If you have a feeling this may not be possible, hire a limo to drive you and your lady into the sunset. This is a general list of to-dos and will differ according to the style, type and location of the wedding ceremony and reception. Grooms, choose the person you think will do the best job, not necessarily the most popular person among peers. This is big moment, make it count.
weds on honeymoon, I thought, was the reason for me really missing Jurgen, my best friend, but this time I missed him in a different way. When I got back, he picked me up from the airport; a giggling 26year old behaving like a 16-year old. Not knowing what to do with this, I suddenly realized that he was definitely more than just my best friend! I spent a week with my mom just to make We briefly met at my cousin’s wedding on sure if this feeling was real and lasting now March 29th 2003 in Stellenbosch. Jurgen that I’m back home, and it didn’t go away! was working as a winemaker in Paarl at the Knowing he had more than a soft spot time and I just came back from England for me, I asked him to date me, if he still and had applied for a position at the wanted to. That was May 17th 2007. cellar he was working at, although neither We got engaged on September 15th that of us knew about the other one. year and got married the next year on Amongst the employers they were May 17th. informed that the new girl was starting After almost 9 years with it’s ups and work on June 1st and God dropped it in downs, it’s still the best decision I’ve ever Jurgen’s heart that it was his wife that was made – to ask him to date me! joining the cellar-team. And there I was, I started my new job with no intention to ever date this Jurgen-guy! I was waiting for my tall, rugged farmer in his big bakkie to come and sweep me off my feet and Jurgen just didn’t fit that physique. To this day I can still wear his jeans and we both stand 1.73m tall! In the meantime, God was busy working out His plan to show me the meaning of As I was working as a wedding coordinator unconditional love through Jurgen as a I had a pretty good idea what I wanted faithful friend. We became good friends our wedding day to look like. Jurgen had and he invited me to visit the church he a few things he didn’t want, like a formal served at. I eventually joined the small wedding suit (he’s more a jeans and group he was a part of, became bornsneakers kind of guy) and he wanted the again and got baptized into a new life day to have as few formalities as possible. and relationship with God. Without me I saw the perfect venue in Riebeek Kasteel realizing, Jurgen became my best friend. while hunting for a wedding venue for The next couple of years saw us go off a client and fell in love with the place. I into different directions as Jurgen had phoned Jurgen to say we are changing opportunities to make wine overseas venues (3 months before the wedding) and I’d gone off to bible school. Then I and as he was keen, we did. He was landed in the wedding industry where I involved in all of the planning and work – gained work experience as a wedding which I liked - but I was definitely the bride and function coordinator. We kept in touch having first pick when it came to the décor throughout this time. choices and smaller details. We both love A while later I went on holiday with family food, so that was a no brainer and as to Mauritius. Surrounded with newly winemaker he made sure they served the
1.When, where and how did you meet? How soon after did you get engaged? Give details; please tell us your story.
2. Did you have different ideas about your wedding day; were you both involved in the planning?
wine he wanted to enjoy on our big day. We loved our wedding day!
when I put it on: ‘this will do it! Elegance, simplicity’. And I loved it too.
victories, learning, growing, celebrating, kids… life! – Sacred, covering, belonging, a blessing! A forever commitment.
3. Did everything go according to plan or did you have to do some contingency planning or ‘crisis management?
5. Tell us about the wedding day. What was your experience? What does each of you remember most about the day? Please answer separately.
7. Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently?
Due to the fact that we kept the running of the day as ‘easy’ and as relaxed as possible, things that might have been a ‘crisis’ wasn’t. It all worked out better than we could have planned. Our honeymoon suite was double booked (it was a gift from a family member) but we were bumped up to the executive villa for the evening (yay) and had no complaints!
Landé – I just remember feeling perfectly
loved and wonderfully adored by the guy I love! Happiness and pure bliss! It was a joyful, long-awaited, beautiful, relaxed celebration with good food, surrounded with our best friends. – It was all perfect, the whole day. From the weather, right through to the great food and the company of great friends and family, and of course we were made to feel like royalty, all dressed up and being fussed over for one whole day! My highlight – my bride-to-be looking down from the balcony before making her way down to the isle to me. She looked so beautiful. Wow!
Jurgen
4. Lande, your dress was stunning. How did you come up with that design, was it designed for you? How did you feel the first time you put on your dress? 6. What does marriage mean to you? Answer I knew I wanted ‘romantic’. A family member had a few pieces made by separately. Didi Couture and referred me to her. Didi advised on the design and colour according to my body type and complexion and I was happy first time round. As a seamstress, my mom knows fabrics, so we went lace hunting at shops that Didi recommended, found what we wanted and had the dress made. I really just wanted Jurgen to say WOW! when I walked down the isle, so my thoughts
Landé – Marriage to me? A God
ordained unity that provides the covering and support needed to live a life that closest resembles the unity between the Trinity, fulfilling the purposes the King has set out for each of us individually, but as a unified ‘team’ and family as well. And whilst seeking that, we get to experience the blessings: fun, fights, love, challenges,
Jurgen
I wouldn’t want to change a thing about the experience. But, if I had to do it again now, the décor and my dress would’ve been different, and I still want my wedding dance maybe a 10-year anniversary re-make of the day? I like that idea!
8. Where did you go on honeymoon, would you recommend the place? Some people wait to go on honeymoon. In your opinion, was it best to go straight after the wedding? We went to Mozambique and had a lot of fun! We flew out at 5 am the morning after our wedding – not such a clever idea! We love our friends. Thinking back now, we’d rather have spent the weekend continuing the celebrations with them and set off on honeymoon the following week. It would have been great if some friends could’ve joined us for the 2nd week of honeymoon for water sports, eating prawns on the beach and sightseeing. It was amazing with just the 2 of us, but we started missing everyone by week 2 (strange, I know).
SoWhere Did It All Start? Practically almost every part of a wedding, from the engagement to the honeymoon, originated in history. Cultural roots, ancestry, and religious beliefs have shaped marriages for many generations that span centuries. It is interesting to know why we do what we do.
The Rich, and Sometimes Funny, History of Wedding Traditions The First Marriage Rituals From the time of Adam and Eve, the relationship between a man and a woman has been unique and ordained by God. Eve was created for Adam to complete his need for companionship. The earliest records show unification between a man and a woman and their respect for a higher being. It wasn’t until Abraham disobeyed God that other women came into the picture and left generations of unrest for those who chose to take more than one wife.
The Bachelor Dinner
More commonly known today as the bachelor party, this celebration in the groom’s honour was originally called the
bachelor dinner. Like many other wedding traditions, this custom has stood the test of time. It first came about in the fifth century, in Sparta, where military comrades would feast and toast one another on the eve of a friend’s wedding. Even today, a bachelor party customarily takes place quite close to the actual wedding date, as it has become known as the groom’s last taste of freedom. Despite the ribald entertainment that happens at most stag parties today, bachelor parties did not always include this contentious element. Although rowdy and boisterous a lot of the time, bachelor parties are traditionally organized to allow the jittery groom and his wedding attendants to release some anxieties before the big day.
The Wedding Party There was actually an era known as “marriage by capture”, and the custom was for the groom-to-be to kidnap the bride from her family, assisted by close friends. The first ushers and best men were more like a small army fighting off the bride’s angry relatives as the groom rode away with her. Bridesmaids and maids of honour became more common during the planning of the wedding. For several days before the marriage, a senior maid attended to the bride-to-be. This maid or matron of honour, as we know her today, ensured that the bridal wreath was made and helped the bride get dressed. All bridesmaids were involved in attending the bride. In earlier times, bridesmaids would create a bridal ‘infantry’ around the bride to protect her against thugs and thieves looking to steal her dowry as she walked down the isle. Later, Roman law stipulated that bridal parties had to be made up of 10 witnesses – five bridesmaids and five ushers – dressed identical to the bride and
groom so as to outsmart any evil spirits that might want to harm the couple. This belief was carried through to the 19th century and can be seen in Victorian wedding photos.
Wedding Flowers Before flowers were used in the bridal bouquet, women held aromatic bunches of garlic, herbs, and grains to drive away evil spirits as they walked down the aisle. These were eventually replaced with flowers, symbolizing fertility and enduring love. Today, specific flowers have special meanings in many cultures, which also had its origins in times past. In Hawaii for example, the bride and groom wear leis while Indian newlyweds wear floral headdresses.
The Veil Again, in Roman times, brides wore veils to ward off evil spirits, while in Medieval times they became symbols of purity and chastity. Today, some brides put the same value on their veils, but most wear them simply because they’re a beautiful accessory that adds that bridal feel to the dress. Veils are seen as quite a formal wedding accessory, and most brides know beforehand whether they want to wear one or not. Lace cloche headdresses were the style of the time during the 1920’s, which were usually decorated with flowers and leaves matching the bride’s bouquet. Headpieces became simpler in the 1930’s, when brides wore them loosely over their heads to compliment their fitted gowns, and in the forties pill-box hats became the fashion. During the sixties and seventies flower power were the order
of the wedding day and brides wore long, loosely fitted styles with flowers and greens in their hair. The veil made another entrance in the 1980’s, when Princess Diana’s enormous veil set a trend for brides for years to come. The last two decades saw a mix of long, formal veils, hair clips, flower wreaths and just about anything pretty and eye catching that can be worn with a wedding dress.
The Wedding The wedding is one of life’s earliest and amazingly lasting rites of passage. Nearly all of the customs we observe today are merely echoes of the past. Everything from the veil, rice, flowers, and old shoes, to the bridesmaids and processionals, at one time, bore a very specific and significant meaning. Today, although the original substance is often lost, we incorporate old world customs into our weddings because they are traditional and ritualistic. These same marriage customs continue to thrive today in diluted and varied forms. Although historical accuracy is difficult to measure, the historical weight attached to these wedding customs and traditions is enormous. When you get married, remember to create new family traditions to be handed down to your children and grandchildren. Just think, in another few decades your “new custom” might be as regarded as the tradition of the day.
More History Before and during the Middle Ages, weddings were considered family or community affairs. The only thing needed for a marriage was for both partners
to express their consent to take one another as spouses. Witnesses were not always necessary, nor were the presence of the clergy. In Italy, for example, the marriage was divided into three parts. The first portion consisted of the families of the groom and bride drawing up the papers. The bride didn’t even have to be there for that. The second, the betrothal, was legally binding and may or may not have involved consummation. At this celebration, the couple exchanged gifts (a ring, a piece of fruit, etc.), clasped hands and exchanged a kiss. The “vows” could be a simple as, “Will you marry me?” and “I will.” The third part of the wedding, which could occur several years after the betrothal, was the removal of the bride to the groom’s home.
renewing their wedding vows? Renewal of vows is becoming more popular and scores of couples are going that route for various reasons. What would motivate man and wife who have been married for a number of years to take that step? Here are some possible reasons • it could be after the birth of a child • after recovery of traumatic event or illness • due to a pending forced separation or call of duty • an express desire to renew their commitment to one another • a desire to reconcile after overcoming some issues • a meaningful way to celebrate an anniversary
What’s Up With “Let’s Tie the Knot” or ‘Let’s Get Hitched” and Hand Fasting? The Best Man Although the term hitching was a process used for tying up horses with ancient old world roots, it is undoubtedly associated with ‘tying the knot’. The term ‘tie the knot’ came from a Renaissance ceremony called “hand fasting”. This was defined as “making a contract of marriage between parties by joining of hands.” This could also be interpreted today as a proposal of marriage for a specific period of time, traditionally a year and a day. If the marriage proved to last over this period of time, then the vows would be renewed for a lifetime or the couple renewed them for “as long as love shall last”. Often during this trial period the bride would be referred to as a virgin, or ‘a woman not owned by a man’.
Why are more people
Many centuries ago, men who had selected a wife often had to forcefully take her with him, or kidnap her if her family did not approve of him. The tradition of a “best man” probably has its origin with the Germanic Goths, when it was customary for a man to marry a woman from within his own community. If there weren’t one available, eligible bachelors would have to seek out and capture a bride from a neighbouring community. Obviously, this was not a one-man operation, and so the future bridegroom would be accompanied by a male companion who would help, and so the ‘best man’ came into being. But, that wasn’t the only task of the best man. Later on, his role had evolved. There remained a real threat that the bride’s
family would attempt to return her forcibly, so the best man remained at the groom’s side throughout the marriage ceremony, alert and armed. He continued his duties after the ceremony by standing guard as sentry outside the newlywed’s home.
Why Does The Bride Stand On The Left? Traditionally, the bride stands to the left side of the groom. This was much more than meaningless etiquette. Among barbarianas, a groom placed his captured bride to his left to protect her, as he kept his right hand free to use for defense. It may well be that even the honeymoon had its origin with this capture scenario. It may have served as a cooling-off period for the bride’s family. It was the groom’s hope that when the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon that all would be forgiven.
Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue. This good luck saying dates back to Victorian times and many brides try to arrange their wedding attire accordingly. Something old represents the link with the bride’s family and the past. Many brides choose to wear a piece of antique family jewelry or a mother or grandmother’s wedding gown. Something new represents good fortune and success in the bride’s new life. The wedding gown is often chosen as the new item. Something borrowed is to remind the bride that friends and family will be there for her when help
is needed. The borrowed object might be something such as a lace handkerchief. Something blue is the symbol of faithfulness and loyalty. Often the blue item is the garter.
Giving Away The Bride The father who “gives away” his daughter at her wedding ceremony is following an ancient tradition that has evolved over hundreds of years. The custom dates back to the time when a daughter was considered property, and the groom had to pay a price to her family before he could be permitted to marry her. Today, the act of giving the bride away is symbolic of her parents’ blessing of the marriage to the chosen groom.
use bells and firecrackers to scare them away
husband would wrap the bride’s ankles and wrists with ropes of grass, believing this would keep her spirit within her. Over the years, as religious beliefs evolved, the meaning and fabric of these bonds evolved as well. Today, brides don’t bind their wrists and ankles, only their ring fingers, and grooms have adopted the practice as well. The grass gave way first Generations ago it was considered ladyto leather, then stone, then metal, and like for the new bride to be hesitant to finally to gold and silver. “give herself” to her new husband, whether The most popular legend stems from or not she truly was. At the threshold to the Roman times. Grooms would place a ring bridal chamber, the husband would often on their bride’s left ring finger, as it was have to carry his bride over to encourage believed the vein in that finger – Vena her to go in. An older meaning is that Amoris, or Vein of Love, led directly to the during the days of “Marriage by Capture,” heart. Men generally didn’t begin wearing the bride was certainly not going to go wedding rings until the 1950’s, which was peacefully into the bridegroom’s abode; a simple gold or silver wedding band. thus, she was dragged or carried across Today, the rings symbolize the love and the threshold. bond between husband and wife.
Carrying The Bride Over The Threshold
The Bride’s Garter
Shoes Tied on the Car Bumper
The garter from the bride comes from the ancient custom of having witnesses at the marriage bed. They were put there to make sure the couple consummated the marriage; and then the witnesses would bring forth the garter as a sign of the witnessing. It became such a violation of privacy that eventually the bride would have the groom throw it out to the witnesses to prove consummation. This is one of the oldest surviving customs.
Brides’ shoes once were considered to be symbols of authority and possession. They used to be taken from her when she was led to the wedding place, and given to the groom by her father, effecting the transfer of his authority to her husband and as a sign that the husband now had possession of her (and she couldn’t run away). The new husband then tapped her on the head to show his new role as her master.
Honking Horn The popular horn honking has its beginnings in the days when brides traveled in open carriages to their wedding ceremonies. They were an easy target for evil spirits, so defenders would
Bridal Showers Wedding Rings In ancient times, when life was harder and more uncertain, husbands practiced a superstitious ritual to ensure their wives’ spirits wouldn’t leave too soon. The
This event has its roots in Holland. When a bride’s father did not approve of the husband-to-be, he would not provide her with the necessary dowry. The bride’s friends would therefore “shower” her with gifts so she would have her dowry and thus marry the man of her choice. While dowries are not given today, the practice of giving gifts to the bride-to-be remains.
Commonly Asked Questions Q How can grooms get involved in the planning process? A
Typically, grooms can feel a little intimidated (terror-stricken) when it comes to things like floral, décor and linen selection, as well as the smaller details involved in the planning. They feel much more comfortable in the more ‘sensible’ areas like budgeting, food and music. Make sure he’s part of the catering and cake tasting, let him choose and wine and champagne, and include him in the DJ/ music picking.
A
Amidst the excitement of getting engaged and the concept of having a big party to plan, brides often tend to overlook that they have time to do everything, people to help them and that they don’t have to turn into a ‘bridezilla’! Modern women are balancing family, career, social life, his family, maybe even a pet. If they can do all that, then they can certainly plan the event of the year with the same flair and pizzazz as they do a dinner party. The bottom line is, a wedding can take as much or as little time to plan as you allow for.
Q Bring in the help. There will be lots of people standing by to lend a hand the moment a wedding is announced. What should brides Q What planning step can most and grooms delegate to family and easily be forgotten by the bridal friends? couple? A Mother of the Groom: Rehearsal A Sometimes couples are so excited dinner, if there’s going to be one to finally be engaged, especially if they had to wait for various reasons, that they go straight for the biggies like the venue and the dress. The first step, before anything is decided, is to sit down and realistically look at budgeting. Details like tipping and extras e.g. the marriage license, and the legal stuff is very often left behind.
Q What are the most common misconception brides have when thinking about the planning process?
Mother of the Bride/Maid of Honour: Planning the bridal shower Maid of Honour: Bachelorette party
Best man: Bachelor party and taking charge of the other groomsmen Little cousins/nephews: Making sure your guests sign the wedding guest book on the day; they can also hand out programs and be ushers If you have any friends or family with the knowledge or experience in any other area, like catering, let them help you choose a suitable menu.
need to get married? • Copy of your ID. • ID sized photograph • If you’ve been previously married you’ll need a divorce certificate • If you are a widow/er you’ll need a death certificate • Birth certificates are not required for marriage registrations
If you’re getting married to someone who is not originally from South Africa, they will need the following: Planning the wedding of your dreams is very exciting, but with all the excitement of becoming a Mr. & Mrs. comes some practical considerations.
Setting the Date Setting a wedding date should be among your top 5 things to do. The date actually determines everything else. If you’ve already decided on a particular venue, this will dictate the date. If you’re set on a specific day, it will limit your choice of venues. Churches and popular venues get booked up months, sometimes years, in advance, so choose the date and venue early on. If the ceremony and reception are in two different locations, make sure that they are available on the same date before paying the deposits. Inform your close relatives and friends straight away; all those people you want
to play an important role in your wedding. Make sure they diarize the date. Before you even start with the guest list, consider those who live abroad or in another part of the country. If you want them at your wedding, inform them of the wedding date, as this will give them time to save for the journey, book flights and plan their trips. When you send out the actual invitations, specify whether guests can bring a date or not. This is very important as it affects not only your costs but also space. Be clear with directions to the venue/s, parking availability or restrictions, dress code, whether children are invited and ask if anyone has any specific dietary requirements.
The Legal Stuff: What documents do you
• passport picture page • visa page • non-commonwealth citizens need a letter of no impediment • commonwealth citizens need an affidavit from the SA Police stating that they are single
Do you require a marriage license? No.
When do you get your marriage certificate? On the wedding day. This is a hand written certificate which the wife can use to change her status with banks, accounts, etc.
Managing Your Finances Getting married puts your finances on a different level. But, even before that, planning a wedding can certainly test your budgeting skills. Yes, even for the biggest day in your life there has to be a budget. If you and your husband-to-be are saving up together, it’s a good idea to open a joint bank account for that purpose. That way you can both track the incoming and outgoing money and it doesn’t get mixed up with money set aside for monthly commitments. If you haven’t saved for something before, this is a great way to help you get started, and it builds up trust between you especially if you’ve each had separate accounts. This may step on a few toes, but it really is a good way to start your partnership. The earlier you open a joint account the sooner you can start saving, and you may even find that, by the time you get married, there may be some money left for some extras on the honeymoon. Another way to save is to make things yourself. This can range from stationary to more practical things. Get relatives and friends involved. Get everyone together for dinner and let them bring ideas. You’ll have fond memories of working together and even some photos for the scrapbook! Delegate the work; it doesn’t have to be stressful.
Wedding Shoot
Richelle’s Wedding dresses started 25 years ago in Durban. Since my own wedding, I dreamed of having my own wedding dress business. I began by buying 5 dresses and with that in hand, my advertising began. In two weeks I made my first new dress. Patsy Young was my first bride 25 years ago. I can hardly believe it. About 15 years ago, my sister, Annemarie, joined the company and opened a branch in Vereeniging. We love working together and we draw a lot of inspiration from each other. Both of us design and make new dresses. To us it is very important to make a dress that suits the bride’s personality. We believe in personal attention and our desire is to transform the bride into a princess. At Richelle’s, we believe that less is more and that the dress must fit the bride like a glove. We receive a lot of compliments from photographers in this regard. We spend time with each bride trying on a lot of different styles. If she doesn’t find her perfect style, we combine different styles to create a new look to which we add our personal touch so that we can meet and exceed her expectations. Wedding gown styles change every year. Full lace dresses in body hugging styles are very popular at the moment. This is, however, not everybody’s taste. We love rouging and making every dress unique. Over the years we have learned a lot about which style suits which body type and how to successfully disguise typical body flaws. We enjoy working with Thai silk, royal duchess satin and chiffon. We prefer a
matt fabric to the glossy types. If a dress is too shiny, it draws the attention away from the bride, her hair, etc. No bride wants to be a ‘walking dress’. A dress is only one of the elements that make a bride beautiful. Wedding dresses speak to brides. The minute a bride tries on ‘the’ dress, she starts to smile, or even cry. We love every single dress that we’ve ever made and seeing it come alive on the bride is worth every minute we spent on it. It is such a blessing to have a hand in helping the bride look her best on her wedding day. Not every bride has the perfect body. It gives us great pleasure to assist brides in finding the right dress that compliments her figure. At Richelle’s, we strongly believe that we do more than just dressing the bride. It is important to us that the bride relaxes in the knowledge that she will have the best dress that her heart desires, enjoys the journey to her big day and walks away from us feeling blessed.
Frank Bespoke provided the suits for our bridal shoot. The brand personifies style and elegance. Frank’s suits each have a distinctive character and satisfy the individual tastes of the everyday man, the businessman, the formal man and the trendy man. Although wedding suits make up about 40% of their business, they also create bespoke shoes, shirts, leather goods and monogrammed bespoke pajamas.
of mine, however, I do really appreciate the creativity and hard work behind the execution of a garment. I am extremely passionate or even obsessed with “old world” hand craftsmanship like bespoke suits, shoes, and leather goods; these artisanal pieces are not ‘fashionable’ as fashion has a short life span; these pieces are timeless.”
The finest fabric
Grant van den Berg, master tailor of Frank Bespoke, currently owns two stores, one in Johannesburg and one in Cape Town.
“When it comes to a quality hand made suit, fabrics play an extremely important role. I would say the fabric you choose is quite simply, an extension of your personality, and so we have carefully selected some of the finest fabric mills the world has “From a very young age I was always inter- to offer to compliment our craft. I look for ested in dressing well and looking the part. many attributes in a fabric, some of the I guess my journey started with the inspira- most important factors being natural fibers, tion that came from the movies, especially weight and exotic combination weaves mafia movies like The Godfather, Scarlike cashmere, mohair, angora, and silk.” face, American Gigolo and my favorite, American Psycho. I really loved the way these characters dressed and acted and I really wanted to look and be just like them. I grew up pretty poor so I couldn’t afford “Fashion trends do come and go, a true all of these fancy clothes and the only classic bespoke suit in a good cloth is way I could look and feel the part was to timeless, suits have been around for huncatch a bus into the middle of Johannesdreds of years and have been a symbol of burg and scavenge all the second hand elegance but also power.” clothing shops and street vendors that sold What garment do you know of that enclothing. I would take these pieces home compasses both? and make them my own – I’d unpick them and alter them to fit me, then added cool details like buttons and leather elbow patches, etc. I studied fashion for a while but it was very brief as I wasn’t interested “Our suits are hand made and this is a in making dresses. All I wanted to do was process very dear to me. Yes it’s a tedious make men’s tailored clothing and this discipline wasn’t offered in the degree that process, but what really makes me happy is seeing a piece of raw cloth transform I was studying, so I quit and decided to teach myself. After years and years of trial into a piece of art - there is nothing like a perfectly fitted hand made suit. I wouldn’t and error, I eventually got it.” call our employees a “team” or “staff”, we are actually very much like a family. All of our processes and systems within the company have been designed to “I wouldn’t say “fashion” per se is a passion
Humble beginnings
A suit is…
True transformation
Fashion vs. Craftsmanship
Frank Bespoke Tailor
empower each member to not only take responsibility for their designated craft but to also take pride in what they create.”
The synergy of a suit: There are many important factors to consider when buying a suit: • • • • • •
Slope of shoulder and shoulder fit sleeve length length of coat torso fit fit across seat trouser length
“All of these important factors contribute to a good looking, well fitting suit; they all work together to achieve the complete look and cannot be considered separately.”
Suit philosophy “Suits have been around for 100’s of years and, at some point, the anti-suits will have to agree - suits are an integral part of being a man/gentleman. I’ve noticed more and more every year how suits are becoming more acceptable to the cage fighters, tattoo artists and wrap artists; I have yet to meet a man that doesn’t like wearing a good suit. Even more importantly, I haven’t met a woman that doesn’t like a man in a suit.” Frank Bespoke creates your masterpiece locally according to your unique frame and personality with fabric and trimmings important from some of the best mills in Europe. Old school methods are used to craft something that will stand the test of time. Made with love and passion, Frank Bespoke suits puts you in a league of your own.”
Wedding Themes
Green has always been associated with calmness and peace, abundance, and of course, it the language of nature. It might seem a bit drastic to have an all-green wedding, but it will surely make a statement and get your guests talking. You can offset the green with touches of white, like we did, or silver, which compliments green very well. Another option is to use a different shade of green throughout, like mint or a soft pastel green. Again, your dĂŠcor choices are myriad. Here, the tablecloth that we used dominates, as well the greenery in the centre. We opted for big splashes of green, but you can also go for less drama, like using tiny sprigs of green in smaller vases. Ivy is a classic choice for anything green, but vine leaves will work just as well. Collect green glass jars of different shapes and sizes and use those for candles, small flowers or treats. If you want to go big in every way, try using young trees as centrepieces. If done right, the total effect is stunning, especially if you hang tiny fairy lights between the leaves. A predominantly green theme would also work best for morning, informal or country weddings. Toned down, it could be used for a formal reception.
We love this table. The country style theme is playful, incorporates a lot of natural elements and can be quite delightful. The exposed table brings out a rustic feeling without being shabby, as do the enamel plates and cups. We brought in bamboo under plates and wooden cutlery to add to the natural feel, and the potted plants bring nature indoors. Soft pastel colours are used throughout to reinforce the country theme. We used apples in the centre but lemons will also work here. You might add little jars filled with candies in soft colours to add to the popcorn boxes. Most of these items are home-made, which is a brilliant cost-saver yet still looks fabulous. The setting is an old manor house on a wine estate. The ceiling beams compliment the overall rustic, old-world look that we aimed for here and creates a perfect backdrop for a colourful country table. We think this theme works best for a country wedding or in a setting similar to this one.
At first glance, you get the feeling that this table might be fit for a royal wedding. The King Protea makes a strong case; it is indeed a fantastic choice for a centerpiece and can stand on its own. The subtle colour is all you need for this white and silver formal setting. The simplicity of this table is elegant without being empty. The richness of the cloth compliments the plainness of the white plates and napkins. You may add soft pink menu cards on the plates for another subtle touch of colour. I wouldn’t add too many other elements as it may detract from the simple beauty of the setting. This theme is best suited to a formal reception. Images of a fancy royal reception in an ancient castle come to mind. It can also be used at a formal city wedding.
There is nothing quite like a bold colour statement that says ‘I am happy’. Think fashionable fuchsias, coral reds, edible oranges, dark purples interspersed with abundant greens and cheerful yellows. The fun part is, you can use flowers, fruit or anything else that matches the colours you’ve already got on the table: juicy green or red apples, succulent plums, strawberries or lemons would make a delightful accompaniment to a colour carnival. Get creative with it; use tall flutes, round glass vases or bell-shaped domes to show off your ideas. Then there is always your sweet tooth. Surprise your friends by dotting the tables with a selection of sweet treats in all the colours of the rainbow. Put them in glass jars of different shapes and sizes, cover the surfaces or build words with them – there is definitely more than one way to add some fun to your décor. This theme is mostly suited for morning weddings; use it as a funky breakfast reception, or for more informal weddings. With colour as your main focus, you can really go all out with your creative flair.
Let’s Start the Planning
Shape It Up For the Love of Your Life
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Planes, Trains and Automobiles 140 The Venue Where Ever After Starts 144 RSVP Please 148
Essie Letterpress - Magic From the Mountains
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Have Your Cake and Eat It 154 Deziner Cake Creators 158 Thank You For Coming! 160 The Language of Flowers 164 Join the Feast 166 Create Visual Memories 170 Come Away With Me 174 Advertisers 178
Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favourite
The big day is coming up! Who doesn’t want to look their best? Which, for the ladies, means a thin waist, a curvy bust and a slim ‘n slender look and feel. For the men, we want that tailored tux to show off all the masculinity in all the right places. Here are some easy tips to get you ready to say your “I do’s” in complete confidence:
1.Hydrate
Staying hydrated could potentially be one of the biggest game changers in preparation for your wedding. From sitting with your wedding planners, to picking out the right attire; you’re under a lot of stress and may forget to meet the most basic needs of staying healthy. Drinking water will not only help control your calories, but will help energize the muscles and keep your skin looking healthy and hydrated. Staying hydrated is key to a faster metabolism & faster brain functionality, which will be ideal when tackling the days leading up to your wedding.
2.Plan ahead
Planning your meals and workouts in advance will not only decrease potential high stress levels, but will help you stay consistent and motivated to keep on track. This might mean you have to give up an extra 30 or 40 minutes after work to cook and pack a few meals for the day ahead. Think of it like adding fuel to the tank before taking a long distance drive. In the same breath, treat your workout like a work commitment. Schedule, commit, and succeed.
3.Training
Your wedding day should be built on confidence, self-assurance, conviction and courage - physically and more so, mentally. Training can have a major effect on these states of mind. There are so many ways, shapes and forms of training to look into that will allow you to look and feel on top of your wed-game! Whether it’s seeking the guidance of a trainer on the daily, joining a high intensity class 2 or 3 times a week, or even going for a 30 minute walk every day, keep yourself active to guarantee that endorphin fix. Remember, endorphins make you happy. And a happy
wife will guarantee you a happy life!
4. Food
Let’s be honest. You don’t need to add 2 or 3 sugars every time you have a cup of coffee or tea, nor do you need to order out every few nights. Think about it, how much sugar are you digesting in relation to your activity levels? Are you putting out what you’re putting in, in terms of training and activity? This all reverts back to balance. If chocolate is your thing, or burgers and pizza’s are your vice, you might want to look at either decreasing portion sizes to a minimum, or finding healthier alternatives. Instead of your traditional sunflower, safflower or grape seed oils, look at Palm, Avocado, Coconut or Flaxseed Oils to cook with. Popular wheat bread might also be something to consider doing away with – some great substitutes are rye bread, lettuce and leafy greens, sweet potato flatbread or vegetables, and even cauliflower bread. Whilst fruits are refreshing and filled with vitamins and minerals, beware of the amounts you’re consuming. It might not be a bad idea to seek the advice and help of a dietician or a nutritionist. They can monitor your caloric needs, intake and progress through updated consultations leading up to that final fitting.
5. Balance Whilst you are dieting and training hard for your big day – rest and relaxation is just as important. Take some time off (1 or 2 days won’t kill you nor set you back), and go treat yourself; go for a deep tissue massage, rub, or a nice spa treatment. This will not only aid your muscles in recovery, but will mentally allow you to break away from your daily stressors too. Whilst high intensity classes will help keep you agile, focused and empowered towards a goal, alternating it with a yoga or pilates class will (literally) balance your training out and also allow for greater peace of mind. Switch your training up every few weeks. Allow your body to adapt to training, then shock it with another style of training, This will allow for greater muscle activation and stimulation to different muscles, which can all work synergistically towards an overall aesthetically pleasing physique. This will be one of the greatest days, if not THE greatest day of your life. Give your partner only the best of you from here on out.
“…for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part” Damian Schechter
There are many ways to get to your wedding ceremony, but which mode of transport is right for you?
Classic Cars Cars are traditionally the most popular choice and bring a touch of luxury and glamour to the proceedings. Depending on the style and theme of your wedding, the choices are many. If you’re having a formal evening do, you’ll probably go for a Mercedes or Rolls Royce, or a vintage model, which oozes luxury. But they also cost a lot to rent. A good idea is to ask a family member or friend who has a fancy car to drive you.
Go Retro Not to be confused with vintage classics - if you want to go really retro, who not opt for an original Mini or a Beetle? If you really want to make a splash, this is it, and they’re great for photographs too. Just keep your dress in mind – if you’re wearing a ball gown it may not fit inside such a small space!
Bussing If you have a lot of guests to get from the ceremony to the reception, a vintage bus is a stylish way of doing it, especially if your setting is in a rural part and your wedding guests can enjoy winding through a village or small town on their way to the party. It’s a good way to keep them busy while you’re off having your photographs taken. Just make sure that there are some refreshments waiting on the other side.
Limo
If you’re having a big, stylish city wedding,
a stretch limo is the way to go. Evoke some of the opulence and glamour of the silver screen with the ultimate lavish transport. The bride can arrive with her bridesmaids – there will be more than enough room!
Horse and Carriage This is the quintessential romantic way to arrive at or depart from any wedding ceremony. The traditional horse and carriage has been responsible for countless fairy tale wedding entrances and exits and has been made famous on the silver screen. They are a brilliant way to add a touch of turn-of-the-century charm to the wedding activities, and most drivers will be suitably suited and booted for the occasion. Everyone’s eyes will be on you as you glide in on your chariot – an unforgettable sight and memory – for you and your guests.
Go Boating If you really want to make an entrance and your ceremony or reception venue is suitably located, you may be able to arrive by boat – a lovely row boat is reminiscent of endless summers, or of regal kings and queens on regattas in times gone by. Such an entrance will be perfect for an outdoors, rustic wedding.
Military Vehicles Arriving or departing from a wedding in a military vehicle is a popular option for those in service or who come from military families, but is fantastic for themed weddings. Vehicles like these will really get people talking, but they’re not the most comfortable ride, so get into one and do a test drive before the time if you can.
Get Airborne For couples that have the budget and want to make a truly spectacular entrance, consider hiring a vintage plane. This is for the more adventurous at heart, and it is advisable to try it first before your wedding day. Such a bold move is obviously location dependent, but for those with flying in their veins, arriving in a plane would make for an unforgettable photographic moment.
Or simply take a stroll… If you’re staying on the same premises where the wedding ceremony is taking place, why don’t you take a slow stroll through a petal-strewn lawn or garden, your last as a bachelorette, and thoroughly enjoy the moment before walking down that isle.
An interesting Fact: Why do we tie cans to the back of wedding cars? There are a few theories behind this noisy tradition. Some believe tying pots and pans to the rear of the couples’ carriage would ward off evil spirits as the couple began their journey together. Others hold that this legend dates back to the Tudor period. It was customary to throw shoes at the couples’ departing carriage as it was considered good luck, if you hit it! These days, that spells disaster, and it’s not fun going home with one shoe, especially if you’ve spent some dough on it.
Choosing your wedding venue will undoubtedly be one of the biggest decisions you’ll make as an engaged couple, so it’s good to start considering your options right away. If you’re not sure where to host your wedding feast or what factors to consider, read on. The venue you pick will determine the amount of guests you can invite, the location of your wedding and, of course, the theme and styling, too. You need to allocate a good proportion of your wedding planning time and budget to finding your venue because there are so many different options to consider and look at. From manor houses to marquee tents, there really is something out there to suit every couple; it’s just a matter of making your own decision.
It’s Your Day, Do It Your Way First of all, decide on the type of wedding you want. Next, set a budget with careful consideration as to how much you can afford for your dream venue. Have you dreamed about this day your whole life, and can’t imagine getting married without everyone you know watching? If so, then start looking at banqueting rooms with large capacities. If you’d prefer a wedding more intimate and low-key just surrounded by close friends and family, then perhaps a garden marquee or small country hotel is more your thing? If you’re both the outdoors type, consider a ceremony on the lawn of a wine estate. Once you know what best suits you as a couple, you can then start writing your guest list and begin searching for places to suit your requirements.
When To Book It’s perfectly normal to book your chosen wedding venue 12-18 months before your
wedding date, especially if you chose a popular venue. This gives you plenty of time to plan your perfect day. That said, if you are planning a wedding in just a few months, there are plenty of last-minute bargains to be had! You might get lucky and be able to book a date at the last minute due to a cancellation or last-minute availability. Once your wedding date is secured and you’ve paid the deposit, you can then move on to styling and theme.
Pick A Theme The theme of your wedding will be directly influenced by the wedding venue you’ve chosen. For example – you’re not going to have a rustic, country-garden style interior if your venue is by the seaside. Think of your wedding and venue as part of the bigger picture and go with a venue that suits the theme that you want. For a glamorous, modern affair, we recommend boutique hotels in the city. If it’s a country, rustic wedding you’re dreaming of, check out your nearest barn venues. There are many gems hidden away on farms just waiting for your call. If you fancy a romantic Elizabethan-style wedding, then a country house will be more your thing. And if you want a little bit of everything we’ve just mentioned, pop a marquee up on the lawn of a wine estate, and you’ve got a little bit of them all!
Location Whether you plan on getting married in a church and hosting your reception at a separate venue, or plan on having the ceremony and evening party all in the same place, it’ll need to be a suitable location. When considering a location, most couples pick somewhere that is either near to where they currently live, or a place where either the bride or groom grew up. Keep in mind how long it takes to get to either venue (church or reception) because this
might have an impact on your day. You should also consider if it’s a little off-the-beaten track, because you don’t want your guests running late if they can’t find the place. This is where good directions are important. Similarly, if your ceremony venue and evening venue are separate, will you be arranging transport to transfer guests? This will need to be budgeted for. Finally, if the location is in a rural area, what are the options for guest accommodation? Offer different budget options, if possible. You need to know this in advance, because it’s courteous to include overnight options in with your invitations.
Savvy Spending Budget is a key factor for most couples when considering which venue to book. Before you put down any money for deposits, it’s worth chatting to the in-house coordinator or banqueting manager to see if there are any deals they can offer you for choosing their venue. Sometimes they may give you the bridal suite and some complimentary rooms, or offers on welcome drinks and canapés. They might also be able to recommend suppliers that they regularly work with who could offer discounts based on the repeat custom that the venue provides. Also, try to visit the venue when they’re hosting a function or wedding show, so you can see the venue all dressed up as it would be on your wedding day.
Your wedding invitation is your guests’ first glimpse into your wedding day, so you want to make it shine. The world’s first impression of what to expect from the event of the year. Does that sound overwhelming? It isn’t. Your invitations, and that goes for the rest of the stationary, is an expression of yourself. Your style, colour, personality. This is fun! Not sure where to begin? Use these practical guidelines to help you decide.
colours.
Experiment With the Shape and Size
A 4.5-inch-by-6.25-inch rectangular card is the traditional size and shape for wedding invitations. But that isn’t necessarily what you want. More couples are choosing playful and individual options with circular, scalloped and square invitations. Remember to keep the size fairly consistent with the traditional invitation as it can increase postage costs. Bulky or extraAlong with listing the location, date, time of large invites may cost more to send. day, who is getting married — and, more specifically, the style of the invitation— hints to the formality of your wedding. You should have an idea of the type of event When you get creative with colours and you’re throwing—classic and elegant, patterns, don’t forget about the text— country chic, vintage, casual and relaxed, the information you put on the invitation or city glam —before you start shopping is the whole point of sending it out in for stationery, A great idea is to browse the first place. Your stationer can help, stationers’ websites and others couples’ but, in general, avoid light ink on light wedding invitations to inspire you, then you backgrounds and dark ink on dark can get to work creating your own, with or backgrounds. Yellow and pastels are without the help of a professional stationer. tough colours to read, so if you’re going That’s right, a lot of couples prefer to do with those, make sure the background their own invitations, especially if your contrasts enough for the words to stand wedding is more relaxed and requires a out, or work those colours into the design personal touch. rather than the text. Also, be wary of hard-to-read fonts like an overly scripted typeface—you don’t want to sacrifice readability for pretty letters. Once you’ve pinned down the style, think about what colours you want to incorporate in your wedding invitations. Think about adding a touch of flair to You may want to use these colours your invitations. Depending on the style, throughout the rest of your wedding consider adding some silver confetti paper (like the order of service, menus letters, hearts, little cutouts or even a and ceremony programs, etc.) for a feather to the envelope. It instantly adds cohesive look. While ivory, cream or white more personality and oomph to your card paired with a black or gold font is invites. the classic choice for formal wedding invitations, you can also brighten your invites with colorful or metallic fonts, envelopes, ribbons and liners. Just keep readability in mind when choosing your
Define Your Wedding Style
Make It Legible
Choose Your Wedding Colours
Make It Personal
Nestled in the hills of Citrusdal about 3 hours from Cape Town, the scenic Piekenierskloof Mountains boast a flower and citrus farm. Explore just a bit deeper into the farmland, and you’ll be surprised to find Essie Letterpress, the printing quarters of Ben and Vanessa Grib. From beginnings rooted deep in interior design, illustration, and a need to create, the printing duo took up letterpress as a means to satisfy their desire to create. On a weeklong sojourn in the citrus and fynbos-producing region, we visited Ben and Vanessa catch the scoop on how things are done.
Flowers By Day, Letterpress By Night
Ben and Vanessa is a passionate partnership that operates from a flower farm on the Piekenierskloof Mountains. They create notebooks, artworks, coasters and everything in between. Vanessa does all the printing and the day-to-day running of Essie Letterpress, while Ben does the design work when he is not farming. They just had their second little boy.
In The Beginning Vanessa started out as an interior designer when she lived in San Francisco, but when she discovered the letterpress through a flat mate, she fell in love. As Ben’s first love has always been illustration and design, he started teaching himself while he was still a fruit trader. During their move back to South Africa, Vanessa was seeking a career change and wanted to pursue a creative avenue. Letterpress seemed like a new and exciting option, but it was relatively unknown in South Africa at the time. It was quite a process to source the right equipment and have it delivered to the farm, but they managed to find a letterpress machine in the back of a University storeroom. Vanessa taught
herself the basics through watching videos, and the rest came through practice. She has been printing full-time for the last 5 years while Ben pops in throughout the day for repairs and colour mixing.
Inspiring Landscape There is no shortage of creative ideas as the studio, converted from an old farm shed, boasts magnificent views of the farm and surrounding mountains. It overlooks a dam and is surrounded by daily farm activities; so speeding tractors outside the front door are a daily event.
Creative Collaboration As letterpressing is a fairly new skill in South Africa and mentors are mostly abroad, Ben and Vanessa rely on tutorials and manuals for their continuing development in this craft. They have a list of artists that inspire them, and every year they invite their favorite local designers to join them in compiling a calendar. This presents an opportunity to stay connected with other designers and network among the creative community.
The Creative Process The design process, not surprisingly, starts while the couple is out walking their dogs or picking flowers. Ideas become rough sketches, which are transferred to the computer. Ben and Vanessa tend to alternate between digital design and hand drawn, as they believe both have an equally important place in letterpress. Furthermore, they intend to become a studio that only prints their own creations and design specifically with the letterpress in mind, thus making all the design decisions within the process’s parameters. That being said, some projects still need a specialized focus, which they have to outsource.
Being creative thinkers, they try out different design styles as opposed to using only one, and are open to new approaches and techniques. This design team believes in letting the product lead the direction that it wants to go.
Pride And Joy The Gribs started out with a Korex proofing press, and have come a long way since trying to print a large amount of 3-colour wedding invitations, one slow roll at a time. Time and patience have taught them a lot, especially when considering paper
quality and ink density. They are very proud of their own little retail space in Cape Town that sells to the general public. Ben and Vanessa love the fact that people are buying their own original products and are putting it in their homes. It is worth knowing that they have a small impact on people’s daily lives.
The Way Forward The Grib family has scaled down for the moment are currently taking on selected projects only due to a new arrival. They are also using this time to re-evaluate priorities and to shape the company into a more streamlined and effective business.
The wedding cake is a time-honoured symbol that not only celebrates the wedding, but also helps set the tone. The most important of all desserts is an opportunity to show what inspires you – or simply create something splendid. Make yours personal by looking at the things you adore, be it strawberries and cream, lots of drama and chocolate, or the timelessness of vanilla and roses. The wedding cake goes back centuries, but not as we know it today. In medieval times wedding cakes were made out of wheat. The strange thing is that they weren’t eaten; they were thrown at the bride as a bizarre symbol of fertility. Instead, baked goods, including scones and biscuits, were piled high and eaten by the wedding couple and their guests. Traditionally, they would try to kiss over the mound of sweets and, if they succeeded, they were assured a lifetime of prosperity. During the 17th century, ‘bride pies’ were used, which varied from sweet breads to tough mutton pie, and, like the tradition of throwing the bouquet today, the pie would contain a glass ring, and whichever woman found it in her serving would allegedly become the next to marry. Wedding cakes as we know then today are said to have come into being in the late 18th century, when, according to legend, a baker’s apprentice fell in love with his boss’s daughter and wanted to impress her with a large beautiful cake inspired by the spire of St. Bride’s Church. But, once again, the wedding of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert ‘took the cake’ in 1840 when they started the tiered trend, and subsequently cakes became as big and white as possible. And, as sugar had become more affordable, even working class families could emulate the weddings of the well off.
The cake is definitely one of the focal points of any wedding, with the cake cutting ceremony one of the highlights in the day’s proceedings, not to mention a great photo opportunity. Although many couples still choose the three-tier masterpiece, the classic wedding cake has evolved into several different shapes and sizes since. The humble cupcake has enjoyed a reawakening in recent decades and has taken that place of honour in countless weddings. Packed on a tiered stand or stacked op top of each other, in various flavours and colours, with or without a topping, it is neat way to have your wedding cake. Something else that has become increasingly fashionable is a crepe or pancake stack. Once again, couples have been creative. They have separated the pancake layers with chocolate, cream or a fruity puree and covered it with dripping white or dark chocolate and fruit or flowers. Another mouthwatering idea is to have deliciously creamy profiteroles stacked high pyramid-style, decorated with greenery. The ‘naked cake’ does away with fancy icing and frosting and focuses on the cake itself; the texture, colour and extraordinary taste. These types of cakes work perfectly at more rustic and informal weddings and leave room to do something special for the decoration, like a flower wreath draped around the cake; or even flowers covering the whole cake. Keep in mind that these kinds of cakes dry out much quicker than iced ones, so they should ideally be made no more than 24 hours in advance. Some brides opt for a savoury treat rather than a sweet sensation. This is not as commonplace, but has been done. A three- or four-tiered cheese stack is also a
great end to the wedding feast, served with biscuits, figs and a small selection of other cheeses. If you still want to cater for all the sweet teeth present, offer a few choices of dessert after the main meal. However you choose to have you cake and eat it, pick your favourite, decorate it the way you like, show it off and enjoy the special moment when you stuff a piece of it in your beloved’s face!
Wedding cakes from a baker’s perspective When it comes to cakes, take your time looking and searching the internet, magazine snippets for ideas of cake styles you are looking for. Think about the colour scheme, décor, season and if you would like real, artificial or sugar flowers or toppers for the cake, depending on the style of cake you are going for.
temperature and lower does work best to maintain the look and stability of the cake. Never leave a cake in direct sunlight as it can melt and leave it looking less than perfect and could also lead to its collapse, depending on the structural support.
Transportation of a cake is one of the most stressful parts of any order. Be it by the baker or anyone who collects it, this is due to the sensitivity of the cake. Every bump or imperfection on the road or hard When it comes to colour scheme, you turn can destroy/harm a cake in seconds. should try to provide your baker with some Sometimes paying for the delivery would form of material, which they can use to get be worth the price in comparison to as close to your wedding colours as they the stress levels involved. Let the baker possibly can get. Also incorporate the type transport and set up the cake at the of venue you have. For indoor weddings venue to get its optimum look. Also, get with high ceilings, a cake with taller tiers the wedding planner involved to make a would help bring the cake into proportion proper cake display table to optimise this with the venue space. Outdoor weddings piece of wedding deco to its full potential. tend to be more relaxed and floral. These cakes can be decorated with fresh flowers, When deciding on your cake, take into which may reduce cost in comparison to account the number of guests you would using sugar flowers. like it to feed and the flavour you are looking for. Many bakers do have a cake Weather can also greatly affect the type tasting at a price as everything has a and finish of the style of cake you are cost. Take advantage of this to test out looking for. During the summer seasons, the range that is offered and the flavours the high temperatures may be detrimental that you enjoy. Always remember cheaper to some cakes. Buttercream cakes and is not always best; no one would like an cream cheese icing tend to melt quite amazing looking cake which ends up easily in hot weather, fondant covered being dry or leaving a nasty taste in your cakes tend to fair better but should always mouth. This is your wedding day and it be kept in a cool environment, room should be as perfect as you can make it.
All about Deziner Cake Creators Owner: Joedy Ramjith Established: August 2012 Born in Johannesburg south, Joedy graduated with a degree in Aeronautical Engineering and a Masters in the Science of Engineering from the University of the Witwatersrand. With the lack of proper engineering design jobs within the South African market, Joedy took up baking as a hobby and soon found his interest increasing and a new skill developing. Being an engineer, he saw all the different elements which go into the construction of designer cakes. With each new order came the excitement of creating something amazing, allowing him to express his creative side. This part time cake business has now developed into a full time business which sees him expanding into new ventures. The business caters for various clients’ needs, i.e. eggless, lactose-free, gluten-free, sugar-free, vegan and banting. Various products such as 3D cakes, novelty cakes, cupcakes, cookies, mini cakes and macaroons are available. The business plans to expand throughout South Africa and to assist under privileged youngsters to develop skills and give them employment opportunities within the business.
You don’t have to give favours, but if you do, there are so many options. Don’t feel you have to conform to anything; be creative with it; make them yourself, have a separate gift for the women and men, give something for the pantry like a home made jam or jelly or chutney - let your imagination loose!
pampering, so you can’t go wrong with this one.
There’s also the ever popular DIY kits-ina-bottle. These have become the rave, especially as birthday or Christmas gifts. Once again, if you can make it at home, you can put it in a jar. Think about putting together the dry ingredients for chocolate It is courteous to acknowledge those who or ginger biscuits, oat cookies, brownies, have helped you with the planning and red velvet muffins or any other teatime preparation or had a role to play on the treat. For the health conscious, surprise day. It’s also a nice token for your guests to them with homemade muesli. You can receive something as a thank you gift for even give the ladies a mini spa hamper attending and sharing your special day. with scented bath salts, nail file and buffer, If you’re having a country-style wedding a pair of tweezers and ingredient list for at an estate, reserve or park, something a home made facial mask, or you can homemade will suit the theme perfectly make the mask and give each lady a and look beautiful and fitting on the bottled facial! There are many recipes for tables. You can buy them online and in great homemade masks. shops and get personalized labels, but it’s so easy make your own and you might Candles, in general, make lovely gifts, and find that is cheaper and adds a personal you can decorate it in the style that you touch. want, or even make your own. Essential oil candles smell heavenly and are great For strawberry jam, all you need are for relaxing in the bath. Another great gift strawberries, sugar and a squeeze of is handmade soap bars for the ladies, lemon; the same goes for most other which is just as easy to make and open fruit jams. For a chutney or chunky up a load of creative ideas when it comes tomato sauce, you need fresh or canned to fragrance, interesting ingredients and tomatoes, although fresh tastes better, so on. Think cinnamon, lavender, citrus, red onions, garlic, sugar, a red or yellow honey, strawberry or any other fruit – go pepper, lemon juice and a bit of balsamic wild. vinegar. Keep the quantities small; it doesn’t have to be a regular size jar. Keep For the guys, put together a beer bread in mind the volume you will need to make, recipe in a jar, or make your own spiced and remember it doesn’t matter if they wine, sangria or citrus infused gin and don’t all taste the same – who’s going to present it to them in a bottle. Another know? It’s the thoughtfulness that counts. big guy-thing is beard wax; you can use natural ingredients like coconut oil, Shea If you want to do something special for the butter and an essential oil; the choices are ladies, a rich sugar scrub is a sure winner. endless. A basic recipe is brown sugar, coconut oil and fragrant oil like lavender or jasmine. If Wedding favours may be a small you want to get more creative, add to the consideration in the light of planning a sugar and coconut oil the zest of a lemon big wedding, but they don’t have to be orange, or a crushed vanilla pod and a boring. Your guests will always remember bit of cinnamon. Every woman loves some something special, and it’s a beautiful way
of thanking the people closest to you for making the time to share your most special day.
Giving Gifts If the giving of gifts is a tradition that you’d like to respect, decide whom you want to give gifts to. Discuss it with your partner, as there would be parties on both sides that have helped with planning, or someone who has taken responsibility for something significant. It can even be someone who has contributed money, time or the use of a car or venue, or a special person that has been there for one or both of you. Use discretion when considering whom to honour. Some obvious people can include your parents or partner’s parents, bridesmaids, maid of honour, best man and friends. Whether you thank them in private or during the reception is up to you. The big decision is what to give them. For the ladies, a bouquet of flowers always goes down well. A more unique idea is bracelets or necklaces or pampering hampers. Why not treat the ladies to a spa voucher each and make a booking for all of you to go together once you’re back from honeymoon. For the one special lady, an exceptional gift that would last forever is a brooch bouquet. It will be pricier and take time to put together, but it is the kind of gift that will not be forgotten. For the best man, your father, or other men that you want to thank, think grooming kits, shaving hampers if they’re into beards, cigar gifts, paint ball vouchers;
Flowers have played an important role in weddings since ancient times, and recent decades have seen a burst of new trends. Every bride knows how vital flowers are to every wedding ceremony and reception, and whether you go for a minimalist look with a single flower or floral kingdom, there is a lot to think about. What colours tie in with your wedding theme or are closest to it? What flowers are in season? Are there flowers that should be avoided at a wedding? How expensive will everything be? Flower arrangements have changed a lot with the times since the ancient Greeks wore flower crowns as symbols of nature and happiness. The bride’s bouquet formed part of this adornment. During the 15th century, hygiene wasn’t a top priority and many civilians would bathe just once a year in May so couples would generally tie the knot in June, but brides of that time would carry a bouquet of flowers that helped to mask their body odour. Luckily, it was around this time that people believed in strong-smelling herbs such as garlic that would ward off evil spirits, so the bride would carry a few cloves in her bouquet too! Thanks to the etiquette of the Victorian era, many lovers of the 19th century had to send messages to each other in secret, and flowers quickly became symbolic of specific meanings, and so ‘flower language’ started. Sadly, this also meant that many beautiful blooms were given rather undesirable meanings, e.g. lavender were given for distrust, yellow roses for jealousy, and thus superstitious brides would shy away from them, even today. Fortunately for everyone, modern brides use flowers purely for decorative purposes rather than a form of deodorant. Phew! When we look at previous decades, the 20’s were generally an extravagant era,
with everything from hairdos to flower arrangements being loud and lavish. The 30’s post-depression era toned down all things a notch or two, and wedding flowers were mainly chosen for their price and functionality. The wartime 40’s continued along this frugal attitude with little time or money for anything more than basic wedding preparations. Brides-to-be were subject to the furlough that their military partners were given and many times, a wedding had to be arranged at the last minute. With the explosion of the silver screen, the 50’s were all about glamour. Brides got their inspiration from the movies, which meant that bouquets and centrepieces were as dazzling as the on-screen trends dictated. Fast forward a few centuries, modern times brought with it the modern, the chic, and a new array of flowers and arrangements that has never been done before. It’s about individuality and preference and what suits your style; the more interesting the better. If you’re still a stickler for symbolism here are some flowers that have traditionally held symbolic meanings. Anemones – expectation Baby’s Breath – innocence Carnations – pink for boldness, red for love, white for talent Daisies – shared feelings Gardenias – purity and joy Lily of the Valley – happiness and purity Orchids – love and beauty Roses – love, joy and beauty Sunflowers – short-stemmed for adoration, long-stemmed for haughtiness Tulips – passion Orange Blossoms – fertility Ivy - fidelity
Transform standard wedding fare into something more interesting and unique. And with the emergence of lactose intolerants, vegans and vegetarians, wedding food has become a much more complicated and often controversial topic.
Let’s consider past and current options. Canapés
Traditionally served between the wedding ceremony and the main meal, canapés are the first taste your guests will get of the feast awaiting them – so make them count! Canapés, or hor d’ouvers, as they were called, became popular in they 1970’s, but also featured in earlier decades, particularly during the wartime in Britain and towards the end of the 1950’s when extravagant trends made way for more free-spirited food in the 1960’s. Today, canapés are ever popular, but have almost been outsmarted by a whole new wave of interesting treats. Glass bottles and teacups filled with all sorts of sweets have swept across the bridal frontiers in a rush of delectable flavours, colours and shapes. Marshmallows, jelly tots, hard candies and every other sweet are filling wedding tables all over. Of course, there are still those who prefer the classics like mini quiches, smoked salmon on toast and fruit kebabs. Whatever your taste, the options are endless. Some tasty ideas: • Bruschetta with rocket pesto, goats cheese and sundried tomato • Mini pork satay skewers • Pizza cups • A selection of tempura snacks with dipping sauces
• Sausage and bacon kebabs • Creamy mackerel wrap
The Main Meal Then there is the main meal. Everybody loves a traditional roast with 2 meats, 2 vegetables and a salad or two. But that is not where it stops. In recent decades our choice of foods have increased, people have developed unique tastes, preferences and allergies. Putting together a wedding menu has become a huge task. Fortunately you have the option of a buffet that caters for a much wider taste experience; there are caterers who do vegetarian, etc. It is always good to keep people’s individual preferences in mind without compromising too much on what you want to do. Whether it’s wine and cheese for canapés or friend chicken for a main meal, remember to include some of your favourites. It is, after, your wedding.
Some moreish menus include: A buffet including ‘fish, fowl and flesh’ with sides is always a winner, but check these out: • A surf and turf • Chicken and beef combo with different options for the chicken, e.g. lemon, herb and cajun • Mixed meze platters with various koftas, wraps, spanakopitas, tempura seafood bites, chicken wings with fresh salsas, chunks of feta cheese, big juice olives, flat breads and pesto’s • A braai menu which can include all the favourites like beef espetada and roast vegetables, thai chicken wings, smoked snoek and delicious salads; legume tabbouleh for the vegetarians • A winter warmer oxtail potjie with
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delicious seasonal vegetables and all-time-favourite malva pudding for dessert. To drink, a warming sangria or spiced wine For a summer wedding: Crunchy potato salad with blue cheese and wild rocket topped with walnuts A black bean, chorizo, sundried tomato and char grilled corn salad Peppered mackerel, sticky chicke wings and cold beef fillet with a yogurt, cucumber and mint dressing and salsa a selection of flatbreads with dipping sauces
For Dessert: • • • •
Coconut biscuit squares with malt balls Amarula and walnut fudge Dark chocolate velvet mousse Frozen berry and double cream pudding
Drinks Alcohol is a pretty important part of most weddings, with staples such as wine and fizz taking centre stage. Guests are usually given a glass of champagne upon arrival at the reception venue, and again during toasting, but, in keeping with the times, why not break with tradition and choose something different, like a cocktail or mocktail for those who don’t drink? Add your own fingerprint and be creative with it – invent your own! There are so many choices; you can use soda water with virtually anything, or top it up with juice, dunk a few pieces of seasonal fruit and lace the glasses with sugar. Try these: • Peachy Iced Tea with a kick • Refreshing lemon n lime mocktail… or cocktail • Berry Cooler • Lemon ginger cordial • Strawberry Mojito
One thing a lot of couples regret after their wedding is not having spent the time to pick the right photographer. Wedding photographs are your visual memories of the day, what you looked like, your dress, the venue, your guests, the food; every detail of the biggest day of the your life. So, of course you want the best possible portrayal of what happened! Perhaps, even go as far as saving on a few other areas and spending a bit more on someone is sure to give you the best results. When looking for a wedding photographer, do enough research. These days everyone with a reasonably good camera and a bit of know-how can market themselves as a wedding photographer, even if it’s not their area of expertise. Pick someone with a firm reputation and proven track record. Shop around, schedule meetings with different photographers and talk to people. Word of mouth advertising is often the most accurate assessment of someone’s ability – people love talking about what they don’t like, but they also rave about a good thing. When you’ve narrowed down your list of possible professionals, there are a few things to consider. Pick someone with the right style that suits your style, from the composition of their shots right through to the editing. Photographers have very specific techniques and approaches; no one does exactly the same thing when it comes to composition, angle, the cropping of photographs, editing, etc. It is those details that affect the end result. You will need to look at these aspects and decide what kind of look you want. Examine their portfolios thoroughly. You will need to decide if you want candid shots versus posed – again, there is a big difference that will affect every photograph. Most photographers are willing to travel, so if you’re willing to factor in traveling cost,
look a bit further to find one that exactly meets your requirements. Pick someone who won’t let you down at the last minute; most professionals won’t. This may seem like a strange thing to say, but you actually need to ‘click’ with your photographer at your first meeting. If you feel in the slightest way uncomfortable, it will show up in the images. You also need to have complete trust in your photographer to capture your wedding day the way you have visualized it. Only if you have total confidence in him/ her will you relax and let them do what they do best. Embrace the experience and have fun if you want to have greatlooking photos. If you’re not used to having your picture taken, it might be a good idea to book a pre-wedding shoot with your photographer. This will give you and your partner a chance to shake off any nerves and get the feel of being in front of a camera. It is also a great way of getting to know your photographer better so that, when it comes to having your photos taken on the big day, it will come much more naturally.
Shot Checklist There are some key shots you’ll definitely want on the day, so make a list of specific locations and poses and send it to your photographer beforehand. Below are some ideas in addition to the ‘usual’ shots. •
The bride’s dress hanging on a hanger, either in a room, or, if you want to be creative, hang it outside against a pretty background, or even laid out.
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Bride’s shoes bathed in lovely afternoon light coming through a window or outside; you can even hang them on a gazebo or nice trelliswork.
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Bride looking into a handheld mirror as she is getting ready
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The happy couple standing next to their wedding ‘ride’.
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Close-ups of specific pieces of décor that stand out
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A wide-angle shot of the whole venue that includes the lighting, tables and surrounding features
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The bride looking up from going down a staircase
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The bouquet in the bride’s hands showing only the bouquet
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The bride and bridesmaids standing next to each other, but showing only the shoes
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A wide-angle shot of the whole wedding party including all the guests, usually from a high vantage point
When the curtain has fallen on the party of the year, when all the tension, excitement and joy of planning and execution has been properly dispensed, the time has come for your own personal celebration of a new beginning and everlasting love. Did you plan this holiday beforehand or has it taken shape together with the wedding planning? Have you had some extra time, energy and motivation to plan and prepare for it? We all know that brides get so caught up in all the details of the big day that they sometimes overlook this part, which is probably the best and most enjoyable part, of the process. The honeymoon is the break after the hard work, the first holiday you’ll take as a Mr. and Mrs.
Here are some tips to help you plan an unforgettable honeymoon. Don’t Wait Too Long Include your honeymoon planning as part of your wedding planning, but make it part 2 – an extension of your planning phase. Don’t wait until a week before the wedding before you realize that you haven’t arranged your holiday yet. You may have had a destination in mind, but leaving it to the end might not guarantee you a place. While you’re already paying deposits for everything else, add a deposit on your accommodation to the pile. You’d secure your place, which is an important thing, especially if you’ve chosen a popular spot. Including this as part of the wedding planning also gives you both a nice break from thinking about flowers and seating plans.
Talk About What You Want Start talking about the honeymoon early on – discuss the where, what and how. This is your first trip as a married couple so it’s important for both to express their desires and expectations. There are so many options out there; a good place to start would be the budget, and then go from there, as money would determine the details of the trip. Then start dreaming together – do you want to your maiden voyage to include a paradise found; an exotic island experience, or do you crave the bright city lights of New York or London? Or a cultural experience, scenic tour around the countryside; remember, this is the first big decision you make together so you have to agree. Your honeymoon should be a trip of a lifetime, so choose a destination you’ll never forget. A good source of info would be travel blogs, where you can get reviews on destinations and accommodation.
Stick To Your Budget Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have to plan the most expensive honeymoon ever. If you don’t know this already, get this: it isn’t about where you go or how much money you spend on your first holiday; it’s about having the time of your lives, making new memories together. Plan something that is within your means, considering that you’re throwing the bash of the year just prior to slipping away with your beloved. Also, keep in mind that you are also setting up house with all the related expenses. A great idea is to set up a honeymoon registry in advance to allow guests to help with some of the your travel costs and added experiences. As many couples already have house basics and kitchen items, this can be a good way to fill in the gaps.
Consider The Timing Because so much energy and expense goes into planning the wedding and there are career demands to consider as well, many couples opt to postpone their honeymoon for weeks or months. This allows the couple to settle down in their new life together, and it certainly gives them something to look forward to once the all the excitement has died down. Maybe you both have some leave to take or it’s a slow time at work. Decide what time works best for both of you, when you’ll both be the most relaxed. There’s no pressure to take your honeymoon at a certain time.