Esperanto Magazine by Josh Clement

PASS IT ON!

EDITORIAL

e’ve grown up. Kind of. For the majority of us studying at Uni, the 1990s was a time when we were dressed as either a Spice Girl or Mutant Ninja Turtle. You think of the 90s as the heyday of grunge and the birth of rap, but in reality we were downing pop-tops, munching roll-ups and buying singles by dubious pop groups. The 90s was primary school, when we still had endless imagination, energy and creativity, (although creativity meant mush yellow plasticine into blue and swirl it around). The Internet was born and was still called the World Wide Web. That was a big deal, but aside from that, it was kind of like the 80s but with better effects. The arrival of CGI gave us blockbuster action flicks like Terminator II, Jurassic Park and the Matrix. A lot of people say it’s too soon to start getting nostalgic about a decade that’s really very similar to the one we’re living in now, but I think in a few years you’ll start seeing more 90s revivals. Sonic the Hedgehog in 3D? Ren and Stimpy voiced by Steve Carell & Seth Rogen? Hey, Curb your Enthusiasm already did a Seinfeld reunion. So let’s just say we’re ahead of the curve on this one.

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Scott, Josh & Soph

CONTRIBUTING EDITORS

Thomas Weir, Chanel Bearder, Julian Cole, Hannah Tooke, Louis Nelson, Ryan De Remer, Erika Gaerts, Adam Knox, Thomas Weir, Mathew Woodward, David Heslin, Lauren Kruger

LEGAL

Esperanto magazine is published by MONSU Caulfield, views expressed within do not necessarily reflect those of MONSU Caulfield, the editorial panel, the publisher, the editor, or any other person associated with Esperanto. As always, direct abuse to our Facebook (it doesn’t hurt as much when it’s on a wall) and send us an email if you want to write for us.

CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS

This issue of Esperanto was designed on a Macintosh Performa, one of the most powerful computers on the market in 1993.

EDITORS

Scott Templeton (Editor) Sophie Goulopoulos (Editor) Josh Clement (Art Director)

Gabriella Draffen, Brad Haylock, Mete Erdogan, Jake Minton, Ming-En Koh (AXP, Cover), David Torr (Art Direction of 10-11), Meg Osborne (Cover)

Esperanto Student Magazine Level 2, 2 Princess Avenue Caulfield, Vic, 3145 03 99031292 esperanto@monsucaulfield.org.au

IF YOU CAN REMEMBER THE ‘90S, YOU PROBABLY KNOW THE WORDS TO MMMBOP. Hanson, Five, Aqua & The Vengaboys, we thank you for your contributions to society. P11

Darwin Deez

As Seen On TV

That first Silverchair album, I loved Frogstomp! We ate it up over here.

Jennifer Keyte. The face of 90s go-get-‘em girl power. And then there was the bottle.

P28-29

P12-13

Wonderwall

Oasis is the band equivalent of Jesus, hear to save music and be generally better than anyone. P16-18

Race Remix

Here at Monash you’re pretty much thrown into the mixing pot in terms of how multicultural our student cohort has become. P32

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The New Planeteers Similar to a bad date escape plan, you do a phantom on your rubbish, thinking it won’t notice you’ve stood it up in the cinema.

Afternoon Delight

Sesame Street taught us morals and values before Angry Beavers brought Beaver Fever to sibling rivalry. P9

P14-15

10 Double passes up for grabs, AXP Photos, 4Chan, Vanilla Ice, Brad Haylock, The Economics of Lego + Much more!

MONSU

I T I ES THE ACTIV

ell what can I say? It’s Semester two. It’s cold and you failed a few subjects last semester. This is where the activities reps come in. We are basically responsible for all the fun stuff that goes on around campus, be it to take your mind off the depressive drudgery of starting uni again or just to hang out and have some fun with all your mates. You would probably know us best for our notorious parties including ‘Sex it up’, ‘Junglefest’ and ‘AXP’, all smashed out last semester. But don’t write us off come semester two! The activities team is responsible for the Midweek Meet. Every fortnight the crew dishes up a free BBQ lunch with Redbull and beer for all students on campus. Started this year, it seems to be getting bigger and bigger every week. This is a BBQ for everyone, and it would be awesome to see heaps of people down on the lawn this semester. We are hoping to tee up some sweet activities like live bands, eating comps, giveaways and other fun shit to coincide with its happening,

FOR A S T S I X E M TEA

REASON

so make sure you find a way to the lawn! This coming semester we also have stacks of cool things going down, including our ‘DisOrientation’ week, pub crawls, full moon parties, Day On the Lawn, Oktoberfest and AXP2 just to name a few. So to stay in the loop with what’s going on around campus be sure to join our Monsu Facebook group. Activities is also almost entirely run by volunteers and we are always on the look out for more to help out with our events. If you think you got what it takes, shoot us an email and we will get you involved. Even if you have some rad idea for a party you think would fly in Caulfield don’t keep it to yourself, we love hearing from people. So in summary, activities is simply here to give you an awesome time at uni and to make sure you don’t get too weighed down by the sterility of academic stuff. Keep your ear to the ground and your feet on the dance floor. For more information: activities@monsucaulfied.org.au monsucrew.com

Remer & Tookie

AUGUST

9th- 12th

04 2010

SEPTEMBER 8th

OCTOBER 6th

NOVEMBER 17th

MIDWEEK MEET

MISC TIM BURTON EXHIBITION

P’S GET DEGREES Do you live by this motto? Do marks simply make you a better graduate than employee? We all know we should be striving for excellence in a group of 8 university, but has excellence lost its meaning in a sea of competition? What does the term: P’s get degrees mean to you? We would love to see it! Monash students are being given the opportunity to display their visual and written work around campus for the entire semester. All submissions can be made through MONSU Service desk, LVL 2 S Building every single day of this semester. All work will be displayed! All submissions are rewarded!

Tell your mates you love them and chew right through your cheeks, because the incomparable DJ Tiesto is back in town to headline this years Stereosonic festival. In what seems like his umpteenth visit this year, Tiesto will be joined by a lengthy list of henchmen; Calvin Harris, Major Lazer and Robyn to name a few.

CatDog

The Simpsons

Hey Arnold!

Angry Beavers

Tickets will be on sale August 5, at 9am through Moshtix.

TELEVISION WAS LIKE THAT BABYSITTER WE’D ACTUALLY LISTEN TO AND TELEVISION OF THE 90S KICKED ASS

Chanel Bearder reflects on the golden era of kids television.

WINTER FOOD

So now Masterchef has come to a close, what have I learnt about myself? One, I really disliked Joanne, and two, that perhaps there’s more to food than Wicked Wings and Popcorn Chicken. Nothing warms the pretentious food critic in all of us like a good hearty soup, so crack out the can opener. Or, if primetime television has stepped up you culinary curiosity, don your best cravat and taste test these 3 contestants:

ids today are rubbish. Much more so than us children of the 90s, this we will take as self evident. But why are they so rubbish when we were so great? To answer this, we must answer the following question: what is the one factor that influences the identity of a generation more than any other? Television.

showed us the toils and troubles of misinterpreting things as a baby in an adult’s world. Arnold 3 served as the perfect role model to what it means to be a good friend and Angry Beavers 4 brought Beaver Fever to sibling rivalry. And there was of course Ickis from Aahh!!! Real Monsters that proved there really were monsters in training out there to get us.

Moroccan Soup Bar, 183 St Georges Rd, Fitzroy North Soul Soup, 55 Cardigan St, Carlton BrimCC Organic Soup and Japanese Café, 601 Little Collins St, CBD

Televsion may fall into the category of the simpler technologies nowadays but back then, we enjoyed the simple life. Some would say us 90s kids came from the Renaissance of the information age. The iPod was still in the womb of Apple, the internet was about to commence world domination and books served a purpose other than a door stop. Television was like that babysitter we’d actually listen to. And television of the 90s kicked ass. Who could forget when ABC dominated after school viewing?

Nickelodeon had some quirky shows but the one that most will remember is CatDog 5 for one reason. How the hell did that animal take a dump? Dog ate a lot of crappy food and should have had the runs constantly – how did it work? Despite this unanswered question we were so lucky to witness the rise of other quality TV. The jokes and gags of The Simpsons 6 were at its best, Disney produced acceptable spin off shows to it’s feature films, and how can we forget the excitement of watching South Park – the cartoon with the filthiest mouth.

Sesame Street was there to teach us morals and values and how to count. Playschool 1 obtained bears and chairs, stories and games, but mostly encouraged creativity. The Ferals were feral and never let you look at a rat, cat, dog or rabbit the same way again. And Captain Planet lead the way to help protect the environment and support hippies.

What do today’s kids have that can compare to all this? Ridiculous and confusing shows spawned from the success of Teletubbies (what is a Wotwot?); lessons in the superficiality of our society from the likes of Lizzie Maguire and Hannah Montana; a horridly dumbeddown Harry Potter (Wizards of Waverly Palace) for those too lazy to read; and , *shudder* reality tv.

SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD (WIN DOUBLE PASSES!) Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) has never had a problem getting a girlfriend. It’s getting rid of them that proves difficult. From the girl who kicked his heart’s ass—and now is back in town—to the teenage distraction he’s trying to shake when Ramona (Winstead) rollerblades into his world, love hasn’t been easy. He soon discovers, however, his new crush has the most unusual baggage of all: a nefarious league of exes control her love life and will do whatever it takes to eliminate him as a suitor.

esperanto@monsucaulfield.org.au

04 2010

STEREOSONIC 2010

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World will take on cinemas from August 12th and Esperanto has 10 double passes for YOU! As always just email us your name and number with the subject heading “I took on Scott Pilgrim” for your chance to win!

Rugrats

The Tim Burton Exhibition is open daily at ACMI Federation Square, 10am-6pm until Sunday 10th October. Concession tickets are only $14.

1 Play School

So he and his wife live next door to each other, he’s more into Johnny Depp than a Year 10 schoolgirl and he’s been stuck on remakes for the good part of a decade. That doesn’t mean we don’t all have a little love left for Tim Burton. The Australian Centre for Moving Image is currently showcasing an exhibition of over 700 of Burton’s works, including all the gothic fantasy and dark humour a Burton fan can poke their scissorhands at. Thursday nights will play host to late night exhibiting and a live entertainment billing just as tailored to Burton fans and those tripping on acid who happen to wander by.

However, it was Nickelodeon that was responsible for some quality viewing. Before the infectious laughter of Spongebob Squarepants, Tommy Pickles 2 and his gang of infants

The outlook is bleak. Until the quality of children’s television improves, today’s kids will never be as awesome as those of the 90s.

SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS A LITTLE GIRL AGAIN. AND NOT JUST TO AVOID HAVING TO DO COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF UNI WORK, PAY BILLS OR ACTUALLY WORK FOR A LIVING, BUT BECAUSE I GREW UP IN THE 90S. And it was fun. I grew up in the country. The Barossa Valley, South Australia, to be exact. Back when the City of Churches still had the Grand Prix, I was enjoying the many innocent pleasures the 90s offered to youngsters growing up.

Fire Engine and the WotWot’s rubbish? Nostalgia practically brings a tear to my eye when I think of the many hours I spent enjoying shows such as Noddy, Round the Twist, Madeline, The Brady Bunch, The Secret World of Alex Mack and, of course, Sailor Moon. On second thoughts, juvenile? Who am I kidding? I’d still love to sit back and watch those shows. Yep, television today just isn’t what it used to be.

Despite being too young to fully enjoy everything the wine country had to offer, bar a few stolen beverages from dad’s wine cellar every now and then, I managed to enjoy my youth in a place that had, well, not a lot to do besides drink. Which clearly isn’t a problem now during the odd trip home, but back in the 90s…well, kids were a lot less adventurous back then! (Do I sound a little like your mother? Sorry.)

Now, perhaps I show my age when I gape at a three year-old playing on their parent’s iPhone, taking pictures or filming and then editing a short video. Hell, I can still remember the day we got Internet on the box sized computer at home, and what a huge deal it was! I also thought I was pretty special with my Tamagotchi back in the day. I still remember my first time- playing with my Tamagotchi, that is. I had won it in a cereal box competition and took it literally everywhere with me.

However, now that I am older, wiser and have the benefit of hindsight, I have to say that the 90s were definitely the decade to grow up in. Things were much better then, I reckon. Television, a universal past time of a student, was so much more enjoyable, albeit more juvenile, and as previously stated; I am older and wiser now. After school cartoons were the highlight of the day. What is this Sumo Mouse, Finley the

It died a slow and sad death one day when I was making a mud hole at home with my brother (hey, country kid here), and it fell out of my pocket. And drowned. It wasn’t until I was I trudging mud all over mum’s hideous retro carpets that I realised I had neglected my beloved pet and it had indeed met its demise. Do they even still make Tamagotchis? Maybe it’s not too late to atone for my neglectful Tamagotchi ways.

While kids these days find themselves caught up in scandals and dramas that would make any mother of a 90s child reel in shock, (you had it easy with us- millennium mums, you can blame Gossip Girl for your problems) my biggest drama throughout schoolprimary at least, the country wasn’tthat uneventful- was Geri’s departure from the Spice Girls. That fateful morning of Year Four is one I still remember vividly. Perhaps inspired by her need to protect a sista, I was informed of Geri’s departure from the greatest band of all time by our resident class ranga. I could not be expected to concentrate on my times tables or spelling quizzes for the day, that’s for sure. I had too much on my mind. It was also immediately evident to me that I was sure to become a millionaire. All of my Spice Girls memorabilia, photos, pencil cases, posters and CDs, were now highly sought after collector’s items. Or so I told myself in an attempt to console my grief. Yep, television, mud holes, girl power dramas. It was all so much easier in the 90s. Don’t deny it- I know you all want to be back basking in the glory of the fabulous decade that was the 90s, carefree and even me in making some mud holes. Kids these days don’t know what they missed…now I sound like your mother, don’t I?

I’LL TELL YOU SOMETHING I HATE THE FUCKIN’ ‘90s RANDY ‘THE RAM’ ROBINSON THE WRESTLER, 2008

DAVID HESLIN

The ‘90s: does the mere mention of the decade flood you with nostalgia? Do you find yourself overwhelmed with memories of an array of great music, memorable movies and wonderful TV shows? Good for you. I don’t. That’s not to say that the 1990s is the worst decade I’ve lived in. The 2000s, for example, gave us the Iraq War, Dancing with the Stars and swine flu. Even worse, if photographic evidence is anything to go by, my greatest achievement in the 1980s was having nappy rash cream applied to my bottom. So, the ‘90s wasn’t all bad. It’s just that it wasn’t that good, either. If a decade can be judged by its contribution to pop culture, the ‘90s struggles by any standard. Yeah, sure, we got Trainspotting, Radiohead and at least one good season of Blackadder, but these laudable achievements were pretty much cancelled out by the first stanza of Achy Breaky Heart. When you add Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and Hanson (band or politician, take your pick) to that abomination, the ‘90s as a decade seems as tolerable as a pint of Carlton Draught mixed with Mountain Dew. Of course, the reduction of a time period to its (Western) pop culture elements is always going to be a problematic exercise. Products of popular media, by their very nature, are invariably disposable. Considering the commercial nature of most popular media, we might be better served reflecting on our favourite advertisements of a particular era. Nevertheless, there are reasons why pop culture nostalgia is so essential to decade retrospectives. Today, popular media provide a significant proportion of our shared experiences. As the world becomes increasingly globalised, we no longer find ourselves connected through geographical proximity or tribal rituals. Instead, the bulk of collective experience

is sourced from news and entertainment media. One could conclude that, not unlike a tabloid newspaper, our very culture itself must lie somewhere between the trite and the depressing. It’s a grim picture, and probably needn’t be so. For every flannelette shirt clad hipster condemning consumer culture, there are probably a dozen virtuous young ladies who genuinely got their kicks off Spiceworld. And who’s to invalidate that experience? Unless you’re handing out brochures on Dianetics, your personal tastes ought to be accountable to no-one. A bit of perspective helps as well. In the 1990s, NATO dropped bombs on Yugoslavia, 800,000 people were murdered in Rwanda, and the president of some country or other got a blowjob. In the light of such events, we can be forgiven for clinging to pop culture as some sort of escape from it all, a fantasy that tells us that the ‘90s was something other than one more miserable chapter in the history of humankind. On a micro level, of course, it’s a different story. As much as I’d hate to include Vanilla Ice in a study of socialisation, it’s impossible to avoid the fact that the ten years in question made me who I am today. That is not to say that my experiences of the last decade of the 20th century were particularly memorable – I have dubious recollections of Get Smart, Hulk Hogan movies and bad ‘70s prog rock – but it was an important formative stage nonetheless. That has to count for something. “If you can remember the ‘60s”, comedian Robin Williams declared, “you weren’t there”. He might have added that if you can remember the ‘90s, you probably know the words to MMMBop. Never mind. At least we made it out alive.

LAUREN KRUGER 10

04 2010

THE MAIN PLAYERS After wrestling the top ratings spot from ‘Ten Eyewitness News’ in the late 80s (and holding it for 20 years straight), Nine’s Brian Naylor did his best keeping us in a 60s time warp, deep tones ‘telling us so’ with paternal authority. He looked the part till the very end.

Ian Henderson’s 17 reign of boredom began in ‘92. Australian Bureau of Statistics have since documented a spike in conception trends between 7–7:30pm in ABC watching households.

In the age of female journo students outnumbering lads 427 to 1, there’s no denying that Hall, Sully and Keyte were once a big part of current undergrads’ childhood dreams.

Jo Hall’s been method acting ‘terminally ill’ her entire career.

Our dear Miss Sandra Sully. Long before your boobs declared network ratings war; No one ever gave a shit.

Jennifer Keyte. The face of 90’s go-get-‘em girl power. And then there was the bottle.

While the news provide bearing, current affairs gave understanding; a national institution no lightweight could ever helm. But how do we judge the scene stalwarts?

The 8 faces of Prime Time ‘90s television. It’s 2010. Mildura just lost analogue television, ABC’s on the verge of 24 hour news. People have ‘interactive relationships’ with pocket devices, newspapers develop inferiority complexes. The most rapidly expanding English speaking international news service is Arabic, career prospects in journalism barely rival those of VHS repairmen. While some bask in the news choice smorgasbord, others lament for a decade past, when political correctness didn’t have it’s stranglehold on the media,

and only computer techs knew what a dial-up modem was. Things were so much simpler then. News was so much simpler then. Television – Print – Radio. Period. But let’s face it, we were kids back then. We only read newspapers for the tiny little phone sex pictures in the classified section. With no internet, it was TV’s world. The Afternoon Show reigned supreme, until Dad commandeered the remote every evening and brought those pillars of society into our living rooms; the news anchors of the 90s.

LOUIS NELSON

While both came to prominence with decades of experience in the field, they shared equal career lows of hosting the same lame Midday Show on Nine. But Ray would never stand a chance; 5 gold Logies ain’t got nothin’ on 14 terminations of employment (and we thought Kyle Sandilands was loose). Derryn Hinch would get the crackers out for some pâté Ray on his (and Ray’s) 66th birthday this year.

And then came Naomi Robson, bursting into the ring in ‘96. The current affairs fembot prototype. The real question is, is that jaw made of reinforced steel?

ED TO OMMISSION C E R E W E EOPLE Y CHANG ONS THAT P S COMMUNIT A E R E H T S? OME OF HESE MOVE T IDENTIFY S F O Y T IL U E YOU G LITTER: AR

The Ghost

Similar to a bad date escape plan, you do a phantom on your rubbish, thinking it won’t notice you’ve stood it up in the cinema.

The Air Ball

You think you have the combined powers of the famed ‘96 Chicago Bulls and that your basketballshaped rubbish will reach the bin from ten meters away. You fail, and abandon ship.

The Wedge

You try and test the space efficiency and architectural design of our public transport system by stuffing as much rubbish as you can into the sides of your train/tram seats. Connex you have done well.

The Clean Sweep

aptain Planet watch out, the Coast Monkeys are in town. This unfortunately good-looking, young ‘enviro’ group is challenging you to a 45-minute, 4.5km run from Port Melbourne beach to the St. Kilda Pier and return. All while picking up other people’s trash. “If the Coast Monkey group can run three times a week and have a minimum group of 15 people each session, then multiply that by 25 pieces of trash, that’s over a thousand pieces diverted out of the bay each week,” Jamie Talbot, founder of Coast Monkeys says. Beach barbeques, fish and chips, Sunday sessions and the like, we’ve all been there, and we’ve all left something other than our dignity behind. If only the shores loved your leftovers as much as you did at the time. Currently there is a total of over 6 billion tonnes of waste in our oceans. It’s a bit of an unfathomable figure, but lets equate that to something more realistic. 95% of the litter on Melbourne’s beaches comes from suburban streets. You do the math; we are pretty much the cookie monster- living in a trashcan. So lets try and understand why we do this. Other than forgetting about our health, a large majority of us seem to have forgotten where a bin is, with cigarette butts constituting the most littered item, making up 58% of all rubbish. In other words- One in ten

04 2010

cigarette butts ends up in Melbourne’s bay or our waterways. Sure, I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve thrown an apple on the ground quoting ‘compost’ as an environmental benefit, but have I really thought about its effects? It’s time for change. Why not combine your desire to get fit, with as the Captain Planet put it- making our planet a better place. This is what the Coast Monkeys have strived to do since late February 2010. With plans to incorporate both commercial sponsors and Australian athletes, we will hopefully see the growth and success of this young and refreshingly honest entrepreneurial team. “Looting and polluting is not the way”- but instead of listening to some hyped up fluorescent coloured lycra wearing dude, listen and join in with the Coast Monkeys, who are out to make a difference, and should be congratulated for doing so.

LET YOUR POWERS COMBINE!

You sit down at your favourite Café, and instead of waiting for your waiter to wipe down the table, you decide that the breadcrumbs and napkins look much better on the floor. ‘Derelique.’

The Undertaker

The Grind

You’re sick of burying your friend under the sand at the beach so you find new delight in hiding your rubbish instead.

Ever since Grease you’ve tried to mimic Sandy’s red wedge cigarette squish into the ground. Practice makes perfect.

Do you want to reduce rubbish & weight simultaneously? Get involved with the Coast Monkeys! Register interest below. EMAIL: cm@yieldinggreen.com.au PHONE: 0411 953 262

he 90s weren’t a good few years for music may be a slightly controversial sentence to begin an article with, but I don’t care. Lord knows this magazine has seen worse. Even so, a lot of people will have peered at that statement with the beginnings of a contemptuous look spreading behind their rose-tinted glasses. “What about Tupac and Biggy?” shouts a middle class white kid who thinks he can relate to the anti-establishment message contained within their songs since he feels the exact same frustration when his parents won’t let him borrow the family Saab. “The Spice Girls were amazing!” screeches a woman who thinks that leggings count as pants as she consumes more hair dye and fake tan than she does water. “OK Computer came out, you dick.” groans a befringed ball of ego, unsure whether he just bought a $400 “vintage” bike to be ironic or because he’s actually lost his mind. Well all three of you are spouting nonsense. 90s rap demonstrates the furthering of a detestably violent culture amongst the economically underprivileged and marks the beginning of a deplorably materialistic culture amongst the mentally underprivileged.

04 2010

HERE’S TEN REASONS WHY

THEIR FANS ARE DICKS LIAM GALLAGHER IS A DICK The man actually thinks that he is the reincarnation of John Lennon, despite the fact that he was born 8 years prior to Lennon’s death. He has had more positive words to say about the music of Girls Aloud than of the Rolling Stones. He is a loud-mouthed, drunken, arrogant buffoon who smoked and screamed away his once excellent voice and owns far more houses than he probably deserves. But if you look closely, you can see a man who is deeply self-loathing and devoid of any real confidence. He knows that he isn’t the smartest person in the world and it tortures him. Watch him being interviewed on Youtube or something. It’s really pretty sad. Now there’s a front man.

Adam Knox will not let you disagree!

Looking back at the few terrible years of Spicemania or whatever that perplexing phenomenon was called makes me actually throw up. Proper chunks and everything. Radiohead, though good, are prone to a level of pretension that can make them all but impenetrable to those without a degree in Advanced Wankology. As for the rest of you 90s music defenders: Nirvana were dirty and depressing, Rage Against The Machine encourage as much baseless, arbitrary ‘system’ hatred as socialism and anybody who would defend a single boy band should be launched into the sun. If you are a rational type of person, then there is only one band which can be incontestably declared as the “best band of the 90s”. O-motherflipping-asis. Even if you’re one of those people who’s knowledge of Oasis stops at having heard a version of Wonderwall played by a jazz trio at your Aunty’s wedding, there is no way I will allow you to disagree.

NOEL GALLAGHER IS A DICK There’s a common misconception that Oasis’ fans are mainly a pack of drunken yobs who’s love of Oasis is matched only by their love of Everlast tracksuits. That’s no reason to insult the band, they aren’t defined by their fan base, it’s not like a group of people that respond positively toward something are representative of the nature or quality of that work. It’s often said that anybody who defends Oasis is the kind of brash, insulting, loud mouthed alcoholic who would likely write an article drunk, and thajt’s jussst bullshirt you AAAAARRSSE!!!1!

Noel Gallagher is a man capable of being fiercely materialistic. He has often said that he is into music for the cars and the credit cards. He has no qualms in admitting that everything he writes is a direct aping of The Beatles and constantly bangs on about Oasis being the “best band in the world”. But that’s awesome. He’s said some genuinely clever and funny stuff throughout his career, and both Liam and Noel being dicks is a huge part of what makes Oasis work. You don’t have to actually hang out with these people or stand by a photocopier at work whilst they flip you off for three hours. They’re in the media for you to be entertained, and if you say that the occasional boorish antic doesn’t make you chuckle then, on behalf of Noel and Liam, ‘you’re a fookin’ twat.’

Liam would quit tours because he had a sore throat or “had to buy a house”.

THEY ONLY RELEASED 2 DECENT ALBUMS This one is just plainly untrue. The Masterplan is also good, even if it is strictly speaking a collection of B-sides. Apart from that, every album they’ve ever made is gold. I will accept you saying that Definitely Maybe 4 and (What’s the Story) Morning Glory 5 are certainly MORE god-like than their other albums, but this in itself is something fantastic. Doesn’t it make you appreciate how fantastic those albums are even more when all of their others are garbage by comparison?

THEIR MUSIC IS SIMPLE Oasis are often criticized for having childishly simple melodies run over very basic chord progressions at a constant 4/4 beat. What’s wrong with this exactly? Even if you are a fan of more needlessly complex music, you surely can’t be willing to put in that kind of effort all the time, can you? Oasis are the musical equivalent of baked beans 1 or the missionary position – simple, yet satisfying.

THEY THINK THEY ARE ROCK & ROLL MESSIAHS As mentioned before, Liam and Noel have egos the size of Jupiter’s bollocks. This self-aggrandisement has lead to them also believing that Oasis is the band equivalent of Jesus, hear to save music and be generally better than anyone. Even if you believe that they’re wrong about this (which they aren’t), you have to agree that this overblown sense of importance they bestowed upon the Oasis brand lead to a level of unequalled dedication. They needed to spread their message and they did so with ferocious tenacity. Apart from those times that Liam quit tours because he had a sore throat or “had to buy a house”. And those times that Noel quit tours because he had a little fight with his brother.

THEIR MUSIC IS DERIVATIVE Again, Oasis receive a lot of ridiculous criticism over their tendency to be completely unoriginal. You know what else is unoriginal? Armchairs. 2 Armchairs are bloody everywhere, but if you even dare to suggest that all but one of them should be burnt for fuel then I will have to smother you to death with all the body fat that years of sitting around in armchairs has caused me to accumulate.

THEIR MUSIC IS OCCASIONALLY STOLEN This is perhaps a slightly more understandable criticism of Oasis, but anybody who thinks that this habitual theft speaks to a lack of creativity or talent on Oasis’ part is completely missing the point. They’re trying to save you time. Nobody had the spare hours to sit around and listen to seven different bands back in the go-go 90s so Oasis, ever the definitive band of their time, lifted ‘inspiration’ from these seven different bands and combined them into one Allen’s Party Mix 3 of an album!

OK FINE, JUST GET DRUNK

If you STILL aren’t convinced that Oasis are the best band of the 90s and possibly even all time, then I implore you to try one last thing. Get really drunk. Drink to the point where you’re more likely to defecate in a cutlery draw than walk in a straight line. Slosh up to the level at which you start to call every ex you’ve ever had and yell the word “SEEEEEX” at them for 40 minutes. Munt up to the eyeballs so that you would hit the pope if he gave you a funny look. Which he would. In this state, Oasis sound pretty damn awesome.

OASIS ARE THE MUSICAL EQUIVALENT OF BAKED BEANS OR THE MISSIONARY POSITION;

SIMPLE, YET SATISFYING.

He probably won’t remember his drunk (extended) rendition of Oasis’ Wonderwall.

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MARIO

RATED

Super Mario Land was released for Game Boy in 1990, and later Super Mario World for Super Nintendo. The biggest release for Nintendo however was Super Mario 64, the launch title for the Nintendo 64. It was a big deal when it was released, so next time you hook up your headset to the Playstation 3 and prepare to surrender your weekend to COD, take a moment to reflect on the console that paved the way for future gaming. Or not.

RATED TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

Kind of half 80s, half 90s, the Ninja Turtles were a morning tv staple. It boasted one of the most ridiculous storylines in cartoon history. A team of four turtles named after Renaissance artists trained by a rat sensei who live in the sewers of New York? Really? Also memorable for popularising stoned surfer catchphrases like ‘bogus’, ‘bodacious’ and ‘radical’.

THE SIMPSONS

It’s common knowledge that the best run of episodes were in the mid 90s. When Conan was still writing for them the show proved that a cartoon could be a popular prime time option. Before everyone realised that Homer was actually a funnier character than Bart, there was something called ‘Bartmania’, with millions of Bart t-shirts printed and sold on a daily basis. He became the schoolyard role model for bad behaviour.

M&M’S

The 90s was a big decade for M&M’s. The colour blue kicked out the dreary tan and was controversially promoted by Carlton Football Club. M&M’s also introduced two CGI mascots, the cynical red and the gullible yellow, the latter voiced by John Goodman.

NBA

The NBA was about Jordan. He was the face of American sports, and in Australia we idolised the guy. And how could you forget Space Jam? Mix one part Jordan, two parts Looney Tunes and sprinkle some Tazo cross promotion on the top and you have yourself one big plate of money.

GOOSEBUMPS

62 books were published from ‘92 to ‘97 and have sold more than 300 million copies worldwide, making it the largest selling children’s series in history. The ‘scary’ stories usually featured a platonic boy-girl relationship, questionable parenting and memorable cliffhanger chapter endings like ‘The bus driver is a monster! Wait, he’s a monster who’s pulling his own monstrous face off! Wait, no, it’s a mask.’ Now that’s literature.

DINOSAURS

It’s kind of hard to explain, but dinosaurs were just really cool in the 90s. Fact. Jurassic Park defiantly helped the craze into the mainstream, but it faded into obscurity along with Power Rangers by the time Y2K rolled around.

Why today’s prices aren’t all bad.

he 1990s get very little mention in my life anymore. In fact the only place it seems to get a real mention is when it stems from fiery debate surrounding the price of beer at the local. We start slow, but just like our forefathers, we eventually build right up to the “I remember when *insert product* was only *insert price*”. I for one am not only sick of this halcyon bullshit, but I disagree in its principles. And what’s more, I can prove the 90s weren’t all as cheap as they seem, I will do so using an issue facing our entire generation, and of course some seriously

LEGO COLLABORATION

Although Lego is essentially bricks that click into each other, the amount of objects that can be created is seemingly endless. Functional V8 engines & 100ft towers in Vienna certainly shame the ‘car with a gun on it’ you made in 1996. A. Digital Camera (Lomo x Lego)

remedial and calculator assisted mathematics. The math’s in question is simple times tables, but the issue is much more complicated. As interest rates eternally rise and property prices shoot up, home ownership is becoming less of a reality and more of a pipedream for most of us. Before we panic and reach for the flux capacitor, lets take a moment and think. Would we really have had it better building a home 15 years ago?

Or would owning a home today in fact be less of a financial burden than in the 1990s? My bizarre logic took me on an investigative route that read something like this:

Well, as a little tacker of the decade in question, I wanted nothing more than to build a house of my own. When a couch cushion fort would no longer cut it, I knew a genuine fortress of solitude was required and I would build it from the only material I felt I had enough of, namely LEGO. Alas now, as I sit here a jaded young adult, I would much prefer a home of bricks and mortar than Danish plastic. But is such a change of heart all that greedy? Built to the same scale, would my childhood dream in fact prove cheaper than a more traditional dwelling?

The Stegbar house bricks run up at 80 cents each, but because I’m a little fancy (as well as mathematically inept). I settled upon a $1-per-unit redbrick option. An online LEGO forum, sells my sought after 2x2 LEGO bricks individually for as little as .06 cents each. (I assume had I bought enough

A 2x2 LEGO brick measures at 16x16 mm, with a height of 9.5mm. A regular Stegbar house brick is 230x110x76. This means for each house brick used, my child dream house would require 784 of these 2x2 LEGO bricks.

B. Ronald McDonald (Cube Dudes x Lego) b

C. The Biker (Pilot Biro x Lego)

to build a house, they’d have kindly waived the shipping costs). This means each of my Stegbar bricks will cost just over 47 dollars to emulate using the 1990s material of 2x2 LEGO blocks. So, if to build my house today of 10,000 bricks, the LEGO option would cost some $460,000 more than the redbrick dream pad. Granted mortar, and a little help from some hired professionals may skim away at that deficit I think I can safely say, “I remember when I wanted a house of lego in the 1990s, it was gonna cost a shitload more than a real one today”. Take that history.

SCOTT TEMPLETON

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AXP 24

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DEEZ PRETZELS ARE T

his time, after an extra digit had somehow slipped into my first attempt at such a marathon number, I had my man. The voice at the other end of the line answering “Deez residence” confirmed such a knowing. Esperanto finally had Darwin Deez, indiepop knockabout and staple of this year’s Parklife Festival, on the phone. Swept away in a hotel room that he assures me is a lot nicer than his apartment, Deez seems really proud, and deservedly so, about where the last year and a half has taken him. From dishing up vegan fare in a small café in the East Village to dishing up a string of

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radio hits the world over, the journey has been a tumultuous one for the 26-year-old New Yorker. A journey he makes clear that no amount of living out of a suitcase could mar, “10 pairs of underwear, 10 pairs of socks, 10 shirts, 10 pairs of pants, that’s life you know”. The only negative that could fly from such a dream realisation is that of the dreaded second album syndrome. Writer’s block comes in many forms, and happiness is often one of them. “Honestly I don’t think I’ve got anything to write about because everything is just going so well right now, I just don’t have any blues, that could be a problem… I’m just having the world like handed to me on a platter,

like a dream come true… I don’t know what to say about it!” The first album though had no such woes. Coming out of a sheer focus to improve, Deez attributes his quick rise not to anyone particular, but in fact to the city itself and it’s songwriter’s as a whole. “It definitely helps you focus… it’s so easy to spend the whole day in your room and that’s what I tend to do… I wrote it all and recorded it all in my apartment”.

the bar high. “Peaches played last year right? Well we’ll just have to live up to that”. Whether that means the unbridled sexual overtones of a Peaches show is doubtful. Guaranteed though is that Deez will bring the “the whole package deal” with him down under, his own brand of choreography ala Napoleon Dynamite no exception. If you’ve somehow missed the man and his moves, get to a computer immediately

10 PAIRS OF UNDERWEAR, 10 PAIRS OF SOCKS, 10 SHIRTS, 10 PAIRS OF PANTS, THAT’S LIFE. It is that first release that Deez will bring to our shores for the 5th birthday celebrations of the mighty Parklife Festival. Aware of the festivals dance and electronic roots, he sets

and check out the film clip for runaway single “Radar Detector”. It’s one of the most original clips I’ve seen since Michel Gondry built The White Stripes out of Lego.

MAKING ME THIRSTY Will Darwin Deez one up Peaches at Parklife this year? And it’s good to hear an intelligent artist preach the value of a clever music video. Deez seems a man of true substance, and he stays very in line with this stance when talking the Internet. “There’s this cool artist called ‘The Blow’, who were a big inspiration for me… and I’m just a fan really. Maybe five years ago she had this amazing, really heartfelt blog (now defunct) and I really enjoyed reading her posts …they’d be these really thoughtful journal entries …they really inspired me and made me feel connected to her”. Seeing a certain risk of degeneration within social media like Twitter and Facebook, he believes that it is online in its more substantial forms such as these very blogs that

“will continue to be the real deal”. Deez has a very thoughtful way of seeing the world. It is as starry-eyed as it is critical and is perhaps in part the reason he originally attended university to attain a philosophy major. “I studied for two years… I took a lot of philosophy classes, though I never really wanted to teach philosophy, so at some point I went ‘okay if I’m going to get a degree I may as well get it in something practical”. Turning instead to following his father’s footsteps into Psychology, the call of music was just too strong, with Deez eventually dropping out to pursue the dream he now lives everyday. The greatest thing about his situation is that his sudden spurt to fame,

yet unabashed hard work, has left him both deserving and proud of his achievements without the typical ego of many of the artists with whom he shares the airwaves. In fact we muse very much as equals, with questions being thrown back at me with what is either brilliant media training or a genuine interest. This interest brings about the oddest of connections, in the form of a favourite album lying deep and dusty somewhere between The Shins and Silversun Pickups. “That first Silverchair album, I loved Frogstomp! We ate it up over here, us twelve-yearolds in 1996” he exclaims as we talk Daniel Johns and Silverchair before he went, as Deez puts it ever so diplomatically, in an “artistically different

direction”. Darwin Deez holds himself with a tremendous poise rarely seen for a newcomer to such a heavily populated scene. He speaks of music with a passion that makes you believe he would still be making music if we forgot him tomorrow but assures you we’ll remember him for years to come. Darwin Deez joins the likes of Groove Armada, Soulwax and The Dandy Warhols on a stellar Parklife Lineup at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl on October 2nd. Tickets are on sale now through the Arts Centre and Ticketmaster.

SCOTT TEMPLETON 29

R.I.P VAN WINKLE A HAVE YOU BEEN ICED? Completely unrelated besides the Floridian rapper’s name, a drinking craze has been sweeping the U.S for the past few months. ‘Icing’ is a way bros (frat boys) can humiliate fellow bros. There are only two rules in icing: When presented with a Smirnoff Ice a participant must get down on one knee and chug its contents, which are 4.5% alcohol by volume. But if players are crafty, they can invoke Rule No. 2 and ‘ice-block’ their assailant by brandishing their own bottle of Ice (hidden, perhaps, in a shoulder holster or back pocket) and thus force the attacker to drink both.

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Vanilla Ice apologises for the music.

ccording to Wikipedia, the 1990s, also known as the nineteen-nineties or abbreviated to the nineties or, if you can be so bold, the ‘90s, began on January 1st 1990 and ended December 31st 1999…but our lecturers always tell us to take information published on Wikipedia with a grain of salt. If you ask me, the 90s began with one single invention, conveniently bursting onto the scene in 1990: Vanilla Ice. No, it wasn’t LA Ice Cola’s answer to Vanilla Coke (but come to think of it, that would be a really clever marketing strategy, patent pending marketing kids), but a rapper of the arguably less carbonated variety; Robert Mathew Van Winkle. I know what you’re thinking: how could someone with a surname that makes you giggle come up with the alias Vanilla Ice? Maybe he thought he was the first cool white boy of hip-hop. Then again, let us never forget ‘Marky Mark’ Wahlberg. Seriously, look it up on YouTube. What a douchebag. The early 90s were perhaps the golden era for cheesy music artist’s names: does Sir Mix-a-Lot ring any bells? How about Boyzone? Sounds like a homoerotic after-school show. Van Winkle apparently got his name when he was 14. He had begun breakdancing with some local black kids who promptly branded him Vanilla Ice. Vanilla Ice’s most famous song Ice Ice Baby begins OK, then he rips out the line “ice is back with my brand new invention.” Ice is back? Back from where? Until this song, we had no idea who the hell you were, and you keep reminding us by repeating “Vanilla Ice ice baby”.

To be honest I don’t think there is anything more annoying than a person who uses their own name in their song, just in case everyone had forgotten who they were for a second there: “Who am I listening to again? Vanilla Ice ice baby, Oh yeah.” The video clip that accompanied the song was almost as deplorable as his metre-long rat-tail. The funniest moment is right at the end (3:20) where he says his final ‘ice ice baby’ then kind of stares blankly at the camera for a couple of seconds, as if he’s forgotten what’s next, or he’s waiting for the ‘let’s get outta here’ queue. Having said all this, he Melbourne Shuffles like no one else and I applaud him for that. His musical and fashion style encouraged a whole generation of teenagers to go where they simply should not tread, kind of like Peter Rabbit in Mr. McGregor’s garden…except Mr. McGregor is a cool black dude and Peter Rabbit, who has no sense of rhythm, proves once again that white boys simply cannot rap. Some twenty years later, Vanilla Ice actually apologised for the song, despite it being the highest selling rap record of all time.“I’m sorry, even though it sold over 40 million copies worldwide, I have no excuses…I’m sorry for the hairdos, the baggy pants, the scandals, the lies, the gangs, and I’m really sorry about the music.”

ICE IS BACK? BACK FROM WHERE? UNTIL THIS SONG WE HAD NO IDEA WHO THE HELL YOU WERE!

SOPH GOULOPOULOS WHERE IS ICE NOW?

Nowhere special. He recently recorded the optimistically named LP ‘Vanilla Ice is Back!’ The album was “an embarrassing endeavour that sounds like it should have stayed locked inside Ice’s studio.”

4CHAN: THE POWERHOUSE OF INTERNET MEMES 7 Grand achievments of the wider 4Chan community

1. LOLCats. What it sounds like. Google icanhascheezburger for the motherload.

A multicultural relationship might be the spice your life needs.

ust what is it that makes exoticism so appealing in romance? Why do people travel the world in search of their future partners? If one is a) fit and b) foreign, does this automatically mean they’ll be attractive to the opposite sex? Well it’s true, the allure of the exotic and the unknown can mean a lot, but in matters of love, surely the grass can’t always be greener on the other side. One must first ask themselves, ‘what’s wrong with the population pool at home that’s driving these lovers to far and distant lands in search of a fling? It could be merely that after growing up and living in one place for so long, they’re simply tired of the same old hum-drum scene and running into the same people and clique social sets over and over again. Well, what about spicing it up a bit by going cosmopolitan and dating someone from a vastly different culture? It might just work. What exactly is it these romanticised views of foreigners are based upon? Are they merely formed through stereotypes? For instance, are African men genetically more well-hung and athletic in the bedroom? Do all Italians have a greater zest for life/love and refined taste? Does the alarmingly high Brazilian birth rate simply mean they ‘do it better’? Are French girls more chic in the way they dress? Are Latinos inherently more skilled on the dance floor? And is the ‘Eurasian’ truly the ideal of beauty? Of course, while there can be a grain of truth in some of these beliefs, on the whole they’re simply too broad, generalised and stereotypical to be taken seriously. 32

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So what happens when you do hook up with someone from overseas? What next? Do you adopt their beliefs and assimilate into their culture, or stick steadfastly to what you’ve always known and been brought up on? It’s best to carefully consider these decisions before you find yourself, say, forced to convert to some foreign extremist religion or something. Well do interracial couples and marriages work? Of course; it’s possible. It’s been happening for centuries. That said, it’s probably best to make sure you know the person you’re marrying before you take the plunge. Running away on a whim and tying the knot with a complete stranger you had a few drunken romps with on a contiki tour is not recommended, no matter how gorgeous and exotic they may have seemed at first. Here at Monash you’re pretty much thrown into the mixing pot in terms of how multicultural our student cohort has become. There are kids here from vastly different cultures, and all walks of life. It’s best to be a little open minded. Wherever you go in the world, there’ll be literally thousands of potential partners that, if given a go, would have a compatible personality with yours. So unless, you’re a complete racist, I’d definitely recommend putting yourself out there and trying to meet someone different. Who knows, they just might be that spice in your life that’s needed.

THOMAS WEIR

2. Sent Justin Bieber to North Korea. They hacked an online vote where Bieber asked his fans to choose where he should play a concert at on his next world tour. 3. Introduced the world to Tay Zonday, the performer of Chocolate Rain (now on 53 million views). 4. RickRolling. 4Chan created the meme of RickRolling people. 5. Tracked down a cat abuser who was posting videos to Youtube. They have also exposed a number of online Pedophiles. 6. 4Chan have hacked the public online vote for the last four years and put their leader Moot (creator of 4Chan) before the Dalai Lama, Barack Obama and Nelson Mandela for Time’s Most Influential People of All Time. 7. Hoaxed a story about Steve Jobs having a heart attack, the story got all the way to CNN and it sent Apples share price free falling for 24 hours.

iss u pre 2000s Internet. The Internet was so simple back then. Want online cred? Set up a sick addy like hottest_man_on_ earth_69@hotmail. com and you were in!

the board goes under the name ‘anonymous’, none of them have an identity, and there is no social hierarchy. They refer to themselves as ‘hackers on steroids’. 4Chan is a powerhouse of Internet memes and are behind

These days there is a new social network, 3.0-BETA-website and iPhone App to join every week. The Internet has come a long way from those simple days. For all these advancements that we have made, the most interesting thing for me is that Internet Culture and what we deem the newest and funniest thing on the Internet is heavily based on one group of people who use a technology that has not changed since 1995. I speak of none other than the Community Image Board, 4Chan. 4Chan is a basic image board with over 5 million geeks contributing to it every month. Everyone on

trying to shock each other with graphic images and trying to coax free porn from other users (most often NSFW). The next time someone sends you a funny clip, there is a good chance that 4Chan were behind it getting out.

OVER 5 MILLION ANONYMOUS GEEKS CONTRIBUTE TO 4CHAN, REFERRING TO THEMSELVES AS ‘HACKERS ON STEROIDS’.

some of your favourite virals on the Internet, they created LOLCats, Chocolate Rain and they invented Rick Rolling. However it must be noted that 4Chan are not always doing positive stuff, a lot of the website is users

A recent meme has involved the actor Keanu Reeves, and candid pictures of him looking ‘sad’ around Hollywood. A groundswell of support for him culminated into a ‘Cheer up Keanu Day’ on the 15th of June every year.

JULIAN COLE

RATED

MATHEW WOODWARD

GRUNGE VS PUNK NEVERMIND - NIRVANA September, 1991

SMASH - THE OFFSPRING April 8th, 1994

henever the music of 1994 gets brought up these days, all anyone seems to crap on about is Greenday and their major label debut, Dookie. Personally, I’ve always found the surprise third album from The Offspring, Smash, to be a far superior record on nearly every level. The production is dirtier, there is no filler and it remains the highest selling album ever released on an independent label. Take that Billie Joe. While they have since been overtaken by the group’s later hits like “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)” and “Why Don’t You Get A Job”, Smash helped briefly return punk to the mainstream with the radio singles “Come Out And Play”, “Gotta Get Away” and “Self Esteem”. All of them are driven by strong vocal melodies and relatable lyrics, from lacking enough self esteem to stand up to an abusive partner to avoiding violence on high school and university campuses. Other highlights include the politically tinged “Genocide” and “It’ll Be A Long Time”, as well as the closing epiphany of the title track “Smash”.

‘BAD HABIT’ TELLS THE FIRST PERSON TALE OF ROAD RAGE WHICH ENDS WITH A SMOKING GUN, PERFECT BACKGROUND MUSIC FOR THOSE FRUSTRATING DAYS AND NIGHTS SPENT ‘DRIVING’ ON THE MONASH FREEWAY. However, the crowning jewel for the album is the irresponsibility anthem of the decade, “Bad Habit”. Opening with a menacing bass line and floating vocals, the track quickly evolves into a full on punk blast of aggression. Telling the first person tale of road rage which ends with a smoking gun, “Bad Habit” is the perfect background music for those frustrating days and nights spent “driving” on the Monash Freeway. It might be over a decade and a half old, but Smash remains a classic. It distils the dirty production of other similar Californian punk bands of the 90s with enough melodic sensibility to please fans of more pop orientated music. I would definitely recommend anyone who hasn’t heard this album to immediately run out and grab a copy, because let’s face it: it shits all over Dookie. 34

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eleased towards the end of 1991, Nevermind signalled the end for everything that was decadent and disturbing about 1980’s music. Propelled into the mainstream by their breakout hit “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, Nirvana remain a cornerstone of contemporary rock music. Loved and hated in equal parts by many, Nevermind continues to sell hundreds of thousands of copies worldwide each year thanks to their strong pop melodies and the adolescent appeal that playing hard and loud (and smashing your instruments) brings with it. There are four songs on Nevermind that almost every person in the Western World will have heard at some point in their lives; “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, “Come As You Are”, “Lithium” and “In Bloom”. These four singles are essentially what drove the album into mainstream consciousness in the first place and the overriding factor which continues to keep it there. More so than the rest of the album, it is these songs which best harness singer/guitarist Kurt Cobain’s ability to write convincing vocal hooks. It doesn’t matter that at times the lyrics are near incomprehensible; in fact, this phenomenon is exactly what Cobain is making fun of in “In Bloom”. Combining in equal parts the filthy distortion and feedback of My War-era Black Flag with the pop sensibilities of The Beatles, these songs are a continuing testament to the group’s ability to write catchy yet dirty singles. The test of the true Nirvana fan however comes in the rest of the album, where the group’s obsession with underground punk and The Melvins really come to the fore. The brutal assault of tracks like “Territorial Pissings” and “Breed” are far removed from their other more radio friendly material, but in reality better represent what the band sounded like before and after Nevermind; there was definitely no attempts at sounding fashionable on Bleach, and their final album In Utero did everything within its power to try and destroy their mainstream audience. Finally ending with the haunting acoustic work of “Something In The Way”, a proper listen to Nevermind will reveal that there was more to the album than just a few successful singles. Love it or hate it, Nevermind is probably the quintessential rock album of the 90’s. It’s definitely catchy, but simultaneously it was the underground aesthetics of the record that helped it dislodge Michael Jackson’s Dangerous from the charts in early 1992. Plus, it has a penis on the front cover.

A&D

How many years have you been designing, and what is your role at Monash? I’ve been practicing as a graphic designer for 10 years, or thereabouts, at some times more actively than others. My role at Monash is as a Lecturer in Visual Communication, but the nature of academia today is such that my time has to be split between teaching and research, which means that maintaining a practice is a part of my role here.

As an artist, a teacher and a designer, how do you divide your time? Do the different disciplines mix together, or do you try and keep them separate? These different types of activities are certainly compatible. I tend to move across disciplines quite freely, i.e., without much regard for established divisions, although I have to admit that this complicates my life at times, and so it’s sometimes necessary to enforce a little separation upon myself. If I’m working in a design capacity on an art publication, or aiding another artist to realise a project, I have to leave some of my own artistic sensibilities at the door. In these cases, it’s a service role — an active

and informed service role, but a service role nonetheless. Also when teaching: although I never come to teaching without a critical mind, it’s often the case that some separation is necessary, particularly between the task of teaching technical or pragmatic skills and the posing of more far-reaching and critical questions.

How has the quality and style of student work changed since you were a student? Do you think blogs, social media and an overwhelming amount of ‘online inspiration’ have made much of a difference? Certain trends come and go, but I can’t say that it’s changed dramatically. I think blogs just speed up the dissemination of new ideas.

How would you describe your creative process? It’s invariably a problemsolving process. This is true of my art and design work both. Some might describe their processes as ‘creative play’, but I wouldn’t say this is the case for me. I do believe strongly in and advocate experimentation, but, for myself, this experimentation always occurs within conceptually delimited boundaries.

For every project or show, I have a question to answer, or a problem to explore. My art practice is typically a thinking-through-practice with respect to questions regarding the social, or questions that emerge from social theory. My design practice can be similar, inasmuch as I might have, for example, a typographic ‘question’ in mind, i.e., a particular mode of typographic expression that I want to explore in a particular job, but, for the most part, I’d say that my graphic design process is responsive to different problems, in a way that I suspect is consistent with most designers’ processes, which is to say that it’s an act of balancing a client’s communication needs with budgetary and time constraints.

You used to design Otico (Esperanto’s predecessor), and now you design for unMagazine. Do you still tackle the magazine spread the same way? Do some habits stay the same, or has the process completely changed over time? Fundamental habits stay the same, I think, although one is always learning. The point of departure for a given

project may be, for example, an historical reference, or a certain expectation of readability, but the process typically proceeds by way of an experimentation with grids and typefaces. I have for a long time sought to strike some kind of balance between classicism and innovation in my publication design work.

What are some galleries/art spaces in Melbourne that you always keep an eye on? I keep an eye on all of them as best I can, but I should make an especial mention here of West Space and Light Projects.

Sum up 90’s graphic design in three words. Emigré / Carson / Vectors

What’s keeping you busy at the moment? New teaching materials, five books, four exhibitions, the next issue of un magazine and some jewellery. Uh oh. More work & information at www.bradhaylock.com

JOSH CLEMENT

In 2002 design studio Pip and Co. created a short film. It was a vox pop in the streets of Melbourne that simply asked the question ‘What is Graphic Design?’ Unsurprisingly, the majority of people asked either knew and couldn’t explain it, or had absolutely no idea what so ever. One thing many do agree on is that the discipline is not one thing or another. It’s never simply web, or editorial work. It’s common to play with lead type one day and electronic ink the next. If you do pursue a career in Graphic Design, you should be aware that it’s a juggling act, something that designer and Monash lecturer Brad Haylock knows all too well.

RATED

CALL FOR CONTRIBUTIONS

Go Green Worried about Climate change? Joining Monash Footprints is a great place to start.

E TH

N IO T I ED

Kick start a greener future Monash Footprints, an initiative run by Monash students for Monash students, can help you determine your own course of action to reduce energy consumption in your life. For a few hours a week over a four week period you have the opportunity to test your skills in the kitchen, learn how to make sustainable food, and participate in activities to help reduce your own carbon footprint. It’s a positive and practical way to make change. We have based activities more around food in each session this semester because previous participants found that not only is cooking and eating a great way to have fun and bond with people, it also provides some of the most simple solutions to reducing our carbon footprint without all the doom and gloom of being lectured and talked at.

We are currently looking for new Ambassadors to join a team and help run the program in 2010 Becoming an Environmental Ambassador at Monash will not only boost your green credentials, but could give you the head start you need in the job market. A practical understanding of how to create behaviour change is a desirable and transferable asset. Training is provided, along with resources, freebies and the finances for food in every session!

The lights are on but is anyone home? Get involved in Monash University’s biggest energy saving initiative yet! By simply turning off lights around campus this year, your actions will save more than the equivalent energy generated by the huge new photovoltaic solar array on the roof of the Campus Centre.

Why lights? Last year the Clayton campus used 89,027,242 kilowatt hours of electricity, which is equivalent to 2 billion black balloons or enough electricity to supply 9051 Victoria homes (all the houses in four Melbourne suburbs) for a year. The cost of electricity to the university in 2009 was $9.2 million! From previous energy audits conducted it has been found that lighting consumes 25% of Monash’s total electricity.

“So yeah, Esperanto’s good. But I can do better!” What better forum to confirm such a confident outburst than Issue 5: The Show-Off edition. We’re calling all talents, quirks and straight-up jerks, if there’s something you can do, you’ve done, or will be doing in the near future that you think is worthy, it’s time to get that shit in print! We want heroes, zeroes and downright creepos contributing all the weird and wonderful things that make us special. Everyone loves telling a story about themselves, so this time write it down and send it to us! Have it in our inbox no later than August 23rd. esperanto@monsucaulfield.org.au

Changing our habits at Monash to turn off the lights must be one of the biggest and simplest actions we can all do to reduce our carbon footprint.

No prior knowledge or skills needed. Free to all Monash students! Contact environment@monash.edu.au to apply. For more visit www.monash.edu.au/green

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