in this issue… Monthly Theme Features World Suicide Prevention Month Interview with Faith Cheonga Suicide Prevention with Roshin Abraham Mental Health Features Single Motherhood in Malawi: Personal Story 8 Challenges Single Moms Face Stigmatization Leads to Stagnation by Violet Mengezi Health and Wellness Features Childhood Cancer Awareness by Steveria Kadangwe Staying cool in the Summer on a Budget
elcome to the September edition!
September is suicide awareness month around the world. Last year we looked at the rising numbers of suicide amongst males in Malawi. We have seen this trend in male suicide continue to rise in our country in 2021 and it is very concerning. In this issue, we will focus on another angle that is a contributing factor to rising suicide rates across the world and that is the phenomenon of divorce and single parenthood. Society seldom considers how difficult it is raising children as a single parent. Life can be very complicated, lonely, and draining on a mom or dad who is trying to put their children through school, keep them healthy, and still work hard enough to keep the bills paid. Children that are raised by single moms in Malawi may have their own set of challenges as they grow, and this may or may not contribute to the different emotional, psychological, and even physiological challenges faced by adults out there. In the mental health section, we have a personal story from a single mom in order to give us a deeper understanding of this issue. Perhaps we need to expand our focus as we try to find solutions to our ever rising suicide figures by focusing on offering support to struggling single parents and their families so that their children grow into well balanced and resilient adults. God Bless and happy reading! Julie Soko Managing Editor
Julie Soko Managing Editor
Mtendere Kishindo Sub - Editor
Thandi De-Jong Editorial Assistant
Naomi Msusa Editorial Art and Design
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World suicide prevention day Worldwide, on Sept. 10, World Suicide Prevention Day is recognized to promote understanding about suicide and to support people who have been impacted by suicide. The theme for 2021 is ‘Creating Hope through Action.’
Creating Hope Through Action’ is a reminder that there is an alternative to suicide and aims to inspire confidence and light in all of us; that our actions, no matter how big or small, may provide hope to those who are struggling. Preventing suicide is often possible and you are a key player in its prevention. Through action, you can make a difference to someone in their darkest moments - as a member of society, as a child, as a parent, as a friend, as a colleague or as a neighbor. We can all play a role in supporting those experiencing a suicidal crisis or those bereaved by suicide.
Suicidal thoughts are complex. The factors and causes that lead to suicide are complex and many. No single approach works for everyone. What we do know is that there are certain factors and life events that may make someone more vulnerable to suicide and mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression can also be a contributing factor. People who are suicidal may feel trapped or like a burden to their friends, family and those around them and thus feel like they are alone and have no other options. The COVID-19 Pandemic has contributed to increased feelings of isolation and vulnerability.
By creating hope through action, we can signal to people experiencing suicidal thoughts that there is hope and that we care and want to support them.
You can help give someone hope by showing that you care. All of us can play a role, no matter how small. We may never know what we do that makes a difference. We all can reach in and ask somebody. You do not need to tell them what to do or have solutions, but simply making the time and space to listen to someone about their experiences of distress or suicidal thoughts can help. Small talk can save lives and create a sense of connection and hope in somebody who may be struggling.
Stigma is a major barrier to help-seeking. Changing the narrative around suicide through the promotion of hope can create a more compassionate society where those in need feel more comfortable in coming forward to seek help. We can all do something to live in a world where suicide is recognized and we can all do something to help prevent it.
The insights and stories of people with a lived experience of suicide can be extremely powerful in helping others understand suicide better and encourage people to reach in to support someone, and for individuals to reach out for help themselves. It’s really important that the person sharing their story knows how to do so in a way that is safe for them and for those who hear their story. Personal stories of an individual’s experiences of significant emotional distress, suicidal thoughts or attempt, and their experiences of recovery can inspire hope in others that they too can move through the period of distress or crisis, and their insights can help others understand what it means to feel suicidal and how they can support others. Individuals sharing experiences of being bereaved through suicide and how they came to live their ‘new normal’, can help others experiencing suicidal loss make sense of the devastation of suicide and believe they will be able to live through and with the loss. WSPD2021 - IASP
Suicide in Malawi – The Statistics Suicide cases have increased by 70% from 2020 92% of all suicide cases are men, while 8% are women Suicide disproportionately affects young men aged between 21-30 in rural areas, who are the most impacted by unemployment Contributors of high suicide rates in the country are poverty and unemployment, lack of psychosocial therapy, substance abuse and cultural upbringing where men do not express their stresses and emotions. Attempting suicide is a criminal offence in Malawi and carries a maximum sentence of seven years Suicide is the third leading cause of death amongst teens and young adults Methods that people use to commit suicide in Malawi are hanging by rope, pesticides (usually rat poison) and overdose of medication.
There are many different factors that may contribute to a person dying by suicide. In previous issues of this magazine, we have looked at the lack of efficient social support and poor help seeking behaviour especially amongst males in our country.
Sadly, since our September 2020 publication on suicide awareness, there has been an ever increasing rise in deaths by suicide in Malawi. The statistics available show that there is a disproportionate number of males taking their own lives more than females, as has been the case in the past.
In this month’s publication, we are going to look at another factor that contributes to these rising numbers in suicide cases in Malawi. We are all aware that divorce rates in Malawi are pretty high, therefore single parent homes are many and the conditions around children growing up with one parent may actually be a significant contributor to poor coping skills and low resilience leading to death by suicide.
Our monthly theme features highlight the good and the not-so-good effects of single-parent upbringings particularly single moms. What are the challenges and hardships faced by single moms and their children? What are the unique advantages of being raised by a single mom? Looking at it We also consider the issue from a different perspective, looking at the effect of divorce on adult men we try to understand why it may be difficult for some men to be available for their children after divorce, and why they would be more likely to die by suicide.
We would love to hear your views and opinions on this matter. Send in your comments, questions, theories, and opinions to essentialgrace@zoho.com with the title September
Theme followed by your first name.
Do your part in preventing suicide in Malawi, speak out, share your pain, and be there for those that need it. Never ignore a cry for help. Access help in your area through the contacts list in our resource section
psychologist, currently working as a Psychosocial Counsellor with St John of God Hospitaller Services in Mzuzu. My background and experience in psychology began way back through my interest in psychology at a young age. I remember thinking that psychologists can read people’s minds and thought if I could make a career out of it that would be fun. I took a gap year from college and started volunteering at the One Stop Centre at Zomba hospital. We were assisting girls who had been assaulted as well as victims of genderbased violence. While I was there, I was trained as a trauma counsellor and I was able to offer services to the people that had come there seeking help. I realised that I would
World Suicide Prevention Day: An Interview with Faith Cheonga, Mental Health Specialist Tell us about yourself and your background and experience in psychology. My name is Faith Cheonga, I am a
find it as a satisfying career if I was to do this for the rest of my life. From there I applied to universities to study psychology and I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree. You work at St John of God Hospitaller Services. What does your work entail? My work at St John of God is quite dynamic because we have several
departments. So far I have worked in three
support systems because they would
departments – outpatient which offers
rather keep things to themselves and not
psychotherapy services to walk in patients
share because they are afraid that people
who are struggling with something in their
will share with others as well. Others who
lives and need counselling. I also worked
have abused drugs and substances and
at the institute of vocational training
have been diagnosed with substance
where children from the surrounding
induced psychosis and as they start
areas who have learning and physical
treatment and start getting better, they
disabilities are taught skills and I was like a
cannot see themselves the same and are
school guidance counsellor and offering
disconnected from their families and filled
support to their parents on how they can
with shame so they feel like suicide is the
hand le issues that come with having a
only way out. These are the two main
child with different disabilities. Currently I
issues that I have been dealing with in my
am working at our psychiatric hospital. My
work.
work there is with people who are
How can people support others who have
recovering from or struggling with
attempted suicide or said they want to kill
addiction and also offering family therapy
themselves?
to different people. No single day is the
One thing about suicide is that it doesn’t
same because there is always something
just happen in a vacuum. There are
that comes up.
usually signs. My advice for people who know someone who has attempted
September is suicide prevention
suicide or have actually attempted it,
awareness month. What are some of the
believe them. From the first time they talk
issues you see in your work around this
about killing themselves, believe them and
topic?
offer support. Most people feel hopeless
When it comes to suicide, most of the
and feel like they are isolated and alone in
issues that I have dealt with have been
what they are going through so having
because of social issues for example,
someone who is supportive to them even
people who are living in extreme poverty
if it is not giving advice but just letting
and have issues for example have children
them know that they are not walking
with special needs and the challenges and
through the challenges alone makes a big
stigma that comes with raising a child with
advantage. Be there. Offer support. Show
special needs tends to push people off the
them that they are not alone.
edge. Most people don’t have strong
How should someone deal with suicidal
thoughts? What are some of the examples
gone through with it. Listen, even if you
and warning signs of suicidal tendencies?
cannot help or understand the things they
One of the main and best ways to deal
are going through. Offer them or direct
with suicidal thoughts is to talk about it.
them to someone who can help and even
The person is going through the negative
better, go along with them. Make sure
thoughts in their minds e.g. you are not
that they know that they are not alone.
alone or you are worthless. When they talk about it, it gives others the opportunity to challenge them and offer an alternative view. Writing it down also helps – write down the negative thoughts that you have or the feelings that you have on one side of the paper and on the other side, challenge yourself on the opposite point of view to say why am I worth it? Why do I deserve to be here? Doing this can be helpful to clear the mind. One of the main signs of suicidal tendencies is self-harm. This can come in different ways – some people cut or injure themselves; others burn themselves. Negative self-talk and constant selfdegradation and not giving oneself credit for having achieved anything, isolation and not finding pleasure in the things that one took pleasure in are some of the signs. Anything else you want to add? If someone comes to you and says they want to commit suicide, believe them, because you would rather believe them now rather than when they have actually
How You Can Help Someone Who Has
This is when someone tries to kill themselves either by executing a plan or impulsively Suicidal with Plan and Intent
Suicidal Thoughts
The person has a specific plan with details of
Newspapers and social media lately have
out e.g. I am going to hang myself with a rope
been awash with articles about how suicide
in the garden on Thursday
how, when and where, and intends to carry it
rates have increased by 72% compared to last year., and 92% of the cases are men. Some of
Suicidal Intent (with no plan)
the main causes include financial problems
The person wants to kill themselves but
exacerbated by the Coronavirus pandemic,
doesn’t have a plan e.g. I am going to kill
unemployment, lack of psychosocial support
myself soon
to deal with life issues, relationship problems. To make matters worse, suicide is criminalised
Suicidal Thoughts (Method, no plan or intent)
in Malawi so if someone attempts suicide but
The person has an idea of how they would like
doesn’t succeed, they are liable to
to do it but have no specific plan or intent e.g.
imprisonment which doesn’t solve the
I have thought about overdosing but I am not
problem.
going to
As 10th September was World Suicide
Suicidal Thoughts (No intent or plan)
Prevention Awareness Day, we would like to
Thinking about killing oneself but with no
highlight some issues around the topic of
details and no intention to act e.g. I should
suicide and how you can help someone who
just kill myself or I wish I could just kill myself
is having suicidal thoughts. Thoughts of Morbidity Suicidal ideation is when someone has
Thinking about your own death or dying but
thoughts or ideas about killing themselves.
not specifically e.g. I wish I was dead
Suicide ideation can be passive – where there is no plan – or active, where there is intent
Random intrusive thought
and plan. Not everyone who has suicidal
Passing through or curiosity e.g. what if I
ideation goes on to commit suicide, but
jumped (when about to cross the road in front
suicidal ideation is a risk factor.
of a truck for example)
There are different types of suicidal ideation:
How can you help someone who has suicidal
Suicide attempt
thoughts?
When someone starts talking about suicide, it
‘pull themselves together’, ‘man up’ or
is important to let them know that they are
‘snap out of it.’ You may be tempted to
not alone and to empathise. You can say
change the subject, tell them to be grateful
things like I can’t imagine what this is like for
and dismiss their feelings by telling them that
you but I would like to try to understand. Try
they should not feel that way or even that
not to judge, criticise or blame them. Instead,
they are being silly.
try and repeat what they have said in your own words to show that you are listening and
This is not helpful. It emphasises feelings of
indicate that you have understood them
rejection, makes them feel alone, unheard and
properly. Try and explore the reasons why
guilty as well as patronised and criticised.
they want to commit suicide and if they had
Reassurance and support with respect is what
these feelings before. Encourage them to take
can help someone recover or start dealing
things day by day and moment by moment.
with the issues that are making them feel suicidal.
You can also ask them if they have a plan and encourage them to seek help from doctors
What if someone is saying they want to end
and therapists. Avoid making commitments if
their life now?
you cannot follow through, for example,
Many people talk about suicide as a plea for
commitments to check in, help find a therapist
help. Don’t assume, though that if someone
or counsellor and the like. Make sure there is
is talking about suicide, they will not do it.
someone with them if there is a high risk. You
Take them seriously, and try to keep them
may not fully understand or have answers, but
safe for the short term. You can keep
listening helps people know that you care.
someone safe by talking to them, getting professional help, removing tools that can be
If you are unsure if someone is really suicidal,
used for example pesticides, medicines, etc.,
you can ask a direct question: Are you
and not leaving them on their own. You can
thinking about suicide? or Are you having
also help them make a crisis plan, which is
thoughts about ending your life? Be direct –
what they should do when they are triggered
do not avoid the issue. Asking the questions
or overwhelmed with suicidal thoughts. This
does not make it more likely that someone will
includes having a professional mental health
kill themselves.
provider number to call, surrounding them with things that matter e.g. pictures of family,
What won’t help someone who is feeling
distraction techniques like reading a book or
suicidal?
taking a walk, drawing or painting.
When someone tells you that they are feeling suicidal your response may be to try and find easy solutions or tell them to ‘cheer up’,
Source: www.rethink.org
Malawi has recorded 57%
Suicide Prevention
increase in suicide cases since By Roshin Ebrahim
Suicide is the act of Intentionally causing one’s own death. It means to end your own life, sometimes a way people use to escape pain and suffering. When someone ends their own life, it is known as “death by suicide”. A “suicide attempt” means someone that one has tried to end their life but survived. Suicide prevention works through different intervention processes that try to find ways to prevent suicide by helping those who are giving up on life. Understanding Suicide Every suicide is a tragedy and to some degree, a mystery. Suicide often stems from a deep feeling of hopelessness. When one is unable to find solutions to problems or unable to cope with challenging life situations, they may end up taking their own life. A person may at that particular moment of distress feel that dying is the perfect solution to what may be a temporary situation without wondering what would happen after they are gone or to those left behind. Suicide Cases in Malawi
the start of the coronavirus pandemic. Most Psychologists blame loss of hope in dealing with social distancing and economic problems due to COVID 19. Psychologists furthermore state that suicide is a very serious issue now in Malawi because the numbers have increased from January. It has been a drastic rise, so this issue needs to be taken seriously. This rise can be attributed to both social and economic factors as the
pandemic is leaving people more stressed and worried hence, they fail to cope with challenging situations. The suicide mortality rate reported in Malawi was at 3.7% in 2016. Malawi is described as one of the poorest countries in the world with about half of the Malawian population living under the poverty line where 20% of those are described as extremely poor. In the last few years and more recently since COVID 19 set in, negative trends have been observed in many businesses which includes companies downsizing their workforce leaving thousands of people either unemployed or having reduced pay. The implication is that most
Malawians live hand to mouth where they earn daily to feed themselves for that day.
- A 12-year-old girl was found dead on a
So, if they don’t work on a specific day
Tuesday in March 2020 in Blantyre.
they don’t get to eat on that day.
According to the reporting, the father
Furthermore, teachers in private schools
of the deceased reported that she left
were not paid or not given enough salary
with her friend and did not return
during the lockdown period which also
home. Later that week the parents
brought them to an economic crisis.
found her and brought her back home,
The founder of iMind Youth Organization
however when they left for their
stated, “some people have been laid off
respective jobs, she hanged herself to
work, others are getting pay cuts, so there
death. Reasons for her suicide were
are a lot of stressors that can trigger
concealed and remain unknown.
suicide”. Covid- 19 is playing a role in the rise of suicide because it is changing
- A very recent case was of Reverend
people’s lifestyles.
William Kangabakako Mumba who died
Case examples
by suicide. When his body was found in
- One Tuesday morning in March, a 48-
Manase, he had been dead for several
year-old farmer set off for his maize
days. A suicide note was left behind by
plot and never came back. The
the deceased stating his reason for
neighbors discovered his body later in
suicide was related to heartbreak.
the small field where he had poisoned himself. The wife of the deceased said that her late husband was under tremendous pressure from the creditors and was failing to settle his debts. The deceased had left home without explaining where he was heading until he was found dead in a field, a kilometer away from his home. When questioned the deceased’s brother, he stated that his brother had approached him in distress over money, but his family never imagined he would take his own life because of it.
So many diverse cases can be listed with varying reasons and risk factors making suicide very unpredictable.
The question to ask is why is suicide unpredictable and why is it hard to respond effectively when a person displays suicidal ideation and active symptoms? It may be because there is a low literacy on mental health matters and therefore people are rarely able to recognize the signs and by the time they do it’s often too late. Malawi in particular, is lacking when it comes to
mental health institutions and expertise to
Anyone who is experiencing such
help build and strengthen coping skills in
thoughts should seek immediate help
those who are struggling with mental
from trained people who can talk you
health problems. Therefore, people are
through your crisis. Suicidal thoughts need
not sure what to do when a person feels
to be talked about, usually when someone
suicidal or how to talk to them
is expressing suicidal thoughts they don’t
The general rule of thumb is to be alert
always mean that they want to die.
when a person exhibits sudden mood
Sometimes they want to feel better and
changes or sudden upbeat moods, or
just don’t know how to. Suicidal
completely new behaviors, they may be
thoughts can sometimes remind the
actively suicidal. Furthermore, those who
person that they are in control of their
are always self-critical, talk about being a
lives during the times when they feel they
burden on others, have no reason to live,
are losing control. It is sometimes used as
feel trapped, or complain of being in
a coping mechanism to soothe and
unbearable pain may also be
reassure oneself and sometimes it’s
contemplating suicide.
because of a mental disorder like
What can I do?
psychosis, bipolar disorder, anxiety
There are many myths about suicide. One
disorder, or depression.
is that talking about it with the person will
If talking to the person doesn’t help, one
encourage the act. If someone expresses
can try temporary hospitalization for
the thoughts or plans for suicide it is
acutely suicidal patients. This can buy the
essential to initiate a conversation with
family some time to plan a recovery, look
that person and help them discuss their
for help and try another chance at talking
thought process and how to get them the
about their thoughts. Other ways are to
right help.
be aware of what your family and friends
You can ask the following questions:
are doing and to help them out in times
1. How are you coping with your challenges? 2. Are you thinking about hurting yourself?
of need. With the pandemic everyone needs a leaning shoulder whether it’s for money, for support, for company, or just helping a friend.
3. Are you thinking about dying?
Recovery from suicidal thoughts and
4. Are you thinking about suicide?
suicidal attempts is possible. People can
5. Have you come up with a suicide
heal and feel joy again and life can be
plan?
restarted with purpose. Take a chance and
let a trusted person help you to your path of healing. Suicide prevention can be a teamwork don’t keep it as a secret.
‘A person who commits suicide today was laughing and smiling yesterday and you didn’t notice the pain they were enduring. Check on your friends’ Tendai Shaba
In some parts of the world, family and friends of a person who has expressed having suicidal ideation organise a suicide watch over them. This is a 24-hour rotation in which each family member or friend picks out a section of time in a 24-hour roster to spend time with the person at risk. In this way they are never alone long enough to carry out their plans to end their life. This is a great way to protect someone from themselves, and it also helps them not to feel alone in a time when they feel the most desperate. Loneliness and isolation are usually good breeding grounds for desperate and impulsive decisions that may otherwise not have been made if the person had allowed support from others. If you or anyone you know is at risk of dying by suicide, please reach out to a mental health practitioner near you. Find contact details in our Resource Section.
Divorce Is a risk factor for Suicide, Especially for Men. Divorced men are more likely than divorced women to die by suicide.
This
9-to-1
dwarf
the
ratio 3.5-to-1
male "advantage" we
The link between divorce and suicide has been known since the pioneering
typically see in suicide deaths. In 2017, for
sociological studies of Emile Durkheim. In
example, 36,782 American men died by
the United States, the rate of suicide
suicide, versus 10,391 American women.
among persons who are divorced or
Clearly, the disparity in deaths among
separated is usually reported as about 2.4
divorced males is not simply the result of
times greater than the suicide rate for
men being generally "more suicidal than
married persons. A successful marriage, it
women." Therefore, something more than
seems, can be a protective factor against
the typical explanations for the male-
death by suicide. Conversely, separation
female imbalance in suicide death (e.g.,
and divorce seems to raise suicide risk.
men choose more lethal means, men are more likely to abuse substances, men are
Kposowa
(2003)
made
an
extremely
more aggressive, etc.) is at work.
important point about the "married versus divorced" suicide divide. Dr. Kposowa
Dr. Kposowa, a sociologist at the University
noted that there were huge differences
of California–Riverside, suggested that
between the suicide rates among divorced
society has undervalued the strength of
men, as compared to divorced women. In
paternal-child
fact, the data showed that, compared to
underestimated the traumatic effect of
divorced women, divorced men were nine
severing those bonds through our typical
times more likely to die by suicide. Put
custody arrangements. Further, we fail to
another way, for every one divorced
appreciate
woman who dies by suicide, there are nine
impact of divorce on men, and the anger
divorced men who do so.
and resentment engendered by losses of
bonds,
the
and
catastrophic
thus
financial
both property and status in the wake of a divorce settlement.
higher risk of making yet another illI suspect that something else is afoot.
advised decision?
Couldn't it be that the personality and social factors that contributed to the failure
Now suppose a second man throws himself
of the marriage also contribute to excess
into his work, to the detriment of his social
suicide risk afterward? Couldn't the risk
relationships. His friendships gradually fall
factors for divorce in men be related to the
away. His wife and children feel ignored or
risk factors for suicide in divorced men?
worse, that they are regarded by him as
Female dissatisfaction with the marriage is
inconveniences. He works late at night and
a stable predictor of an eventual divorce.
on
Perhaps
marital
satisfaction from his steady advancement
such
and his growing purchasing power (not
we
behaviors
should
that
might
consider lead
to
dissatisfaction.
the
weekends,
drawing
a
quiet
that he encourages the "waste" of his hardearned
money
on
vacations
or
Suppose that a certain married man
entertainment). At some point, he is
spends more than he makes, runs up
genuinely surprised to be handed divorce
marital
financial
papers by his wife or by a sheriff's deputy
decisions, drinks too much, eats too much,
hired to do the deed. Hadn't he given her
shoots his mouth off at people who could
everything a woman could want? Never
make him pay for it, and makes sexual
mind that he had not so much as touched
advances toward women who are not his
her or looked into her eyes for a matter of
wife. In other words, we see a marked
years.
pattern of impulsiveness, poor decision
After a divorce, such a man is bereft. There
making, poor self-discipline, and poor
are no friends to offer solace; there are only
inhibition. We might label this category of
co-workers (and they are seen mostly as
behaviors as poor frontal lobe functioning,
competitors or as means to an end). Trying
or
the
at this late date to build a relationship with
eventual divorce, when contemplating his
his now distant children is futile; they are
situation, might this person also be at
strangers to him. He is wary of dating other
low
debts,
makes
poor
conscientiousness.
After
women, convinced as he now is that
without him around.
women just intend to rob him of his property through means of the family
These three briefly sketched profiles are by
court. Isolated, friendless, without a single
no means representative of all men who
companion — surely this is a fertile ground
die by suicide after a divorce. Each death
for suicidal planning and execution.
after divorce is a unique, preventable tragedy.
A
final
hypothetical
divorcee
wasn't
As a society, we must do more to recognize
surprised at all that his wife wanted to
the lethal risk posed by divorce, and to
divorce him; it was a bit puzzling to him all
better assist men as they navigate this
along why she ever married him. He spent
devastating life experience. It is always
most of their marriage feeling low, and not
important to remember that we lose
really having the energy or motivation to
individual human beings to suicide, each in
improve his situation. He was his own worst
his or her own way, for reasons peculiar to
enemy, he knew, and he would spend
him or her. When we make simplistic claims
hours a day, reminding himself of what a
like "divorce causes suicide," we risk losing
"loser" and "failure" he was. This, of course,
sight of the individual tragedies involved.
made him feel even worse about himself. His wife begged him once to get some kind
About the Author
of help, but what would be the point of
Glenn Sullivan, Ph.D., is a professor of
that? The divorce just proved the point he
psychology at the Virginia Military Institute
had been making to himself all along. He
and a clinical psychologist in private
was just a burden to everyone around him, he thought, and people would be better off
practice in Lexington, Virginia. www.psychologytoday.com
The Effects of Single-Parent Homes on Boys Written by Martha Holden www.howtoadult.com Single 23 July, 2013parents have a unique position in their children’s lives because they have to play the role of both mother and father in situations where the other parent has passed away, is divorced, has neglected the child, or never was involved in the child’s life. Researchers have found that when kids grow up in single-parent homes, boys are affected more adversely than girls -- especially when the available parent is the mother, according to the report, “Wayward Sons: The Emerging Gender Gap in Labor Markets and Education,”
published on the Third Way Organization website. The sons of single parents may experience financial, emotional, social and psychological issues. Financial The single parent is the sole provider for the home, and boys growing up in such families’ experience higher incidences of poverty. A 2012 study of single parenthood in the United States and 16 other high-income countries, found that U.S. single parents are the worst off of these countries because single parents are given little support for balancing job and care-giving responsibilities, according to the New York Times article, “Single Parents:
Unsupported and Feeling the Blame.” The single parent has to work long hours, and still the income may not be enough to meet the needs of the family. As a result, single parents may not be in a position to make available the education and economic opportunities their sons need to get ahead. Social
Boys in single-parent households can suffer from social challenges, as single mothers may sometimes be unable to teach them certain things about becoming a well-rounded man in today’s world. Single mothers may also invest less time and emotional connection with their sons than with their daughters, causing the boys to misbehave and act out -- especially in school. Boys may exhibit at-risk behaviors such as getting low grades, skipping school or dropping out, refuse to attend college or make choices that could affect their ability for greater economic
opportunities in their sons than in their daughters, causing the boys to misbehave and act out -- especially in school. Boys exhibit at-risk behaviors such as getting low grades, skipping school or dropping out, and they often refuse to attend college or make choices that could affect their ability for greater economic opportunities in the future. The study found that boys in single-parent homes would benefit from greater parental involvement.
This article describes a generalized view of the types of conditions that children growing up in single-parent homes may face. The Malawian context may present many other challenges not mentioned above. In what ways are the children in Malawi – especially boys - impacted whilst growing up in single-parent homes? Send your feedback to us through essentialgrace@zoho.com or join the conversation on our Facebook page @essentialgracemagazine
Single father and children. Image from
www.cbabibayoc.com
Mental Health
Mental health is a broad term, and as we are beginning to notice in Malawi, it is a largely unknown and greatly misrepresented. This month we explore suicide prevention, as well as single parenthood in relation to single mothers. We have one mother’s story shared to give some first-hand perspective into the struggles and joys of being a single mom in Malawi. Have you ever thought seriously about the relationship between singleparent homes, single-motherhood and the unique impact it has on the mental health trends in our country? Is there a relationship between a large part of society being raised by single moms and the rising suicide rates particularly in men? Share your opinion through our email essentialgrace@zoho.com or through our Whatsapp 0991 938 203.
Single mom and children. Image from Vickie Wade Fine Art Vickie Wade - Official
Website (pixels.com)
Single Motherhood in Malawi, A Personal Story
In the end, it is impossible
T. Bonongwe, a Lilongwe based mom of two
to force a man or your husband to stick around if
he doesn't want to. The responsibility of parenthood always falls on us mothers.
How I became a single mom I didn't set out to be a single mother. Though my partner and I never planned to have a baby, I believed we were in a relationship whereby we both knew what we were doing. It didn't come as a surprise that we were pregnant. When you are
in
a
relationship,
everything seems good; your man may be committed to you and may want to be with you all the time. However, as soon as you fall pregnant, things change. The obvious choices are Nobody ever sets out to be a single mother or a single parent. It takes two to make a baby. So when do you find yourself pregnant, you always expect your man to be there for you. Nobody wants to do single parenting.
usually that of a woman getting rid of her pregnancy because her partner is scared or unprepared for fatherhood, while in other times' the father does not want to have a child with the mother. When that happens, and the woman chooses to keep her baby,
they often face it alone. That is what
it, but the emotional too. It's hard being the
happened to me, and I thank God that I
only parent. I don't know if I am the only
had the faith and courage to keep my
one who feels this way, but I often feel like
baby. I am so glad I did.
I have to be two people in one. I have to be the loving parent and the strict parent,
Here is my story, my child's father didn't
just like role-playing both the good cop
want to stick around. He didn't even want
and bad cop. At one point, you also have
to be a part of the process; I had to become
to be very serious and very strict, then you
a single parent. I used to criticize girls and
also have to be loving and understanding
women that are in my current situation. But
towards your child. You can't always let
after what I went through, I discovered that
your child do whatever or get away with
there
whatever they want.
is
nothing
scarier
than
being
pregnant and rejected. In most cases, not only does your child's father emotionally
Financially, there are times where I forget
dismiss you, but he may physically mistreat
how to take care of myself. I always have to
you. He may only want to stick around
put my children first. I no longer think of
because you are forcing him to be a father.
myself first. When I have money, the first
If one could choose a parenting style, I
thing that comes to my mind is; what does
would not choose to be a single parent. I've
my daughter need? It is financially draining.
been through many hardships, I have
I think the biggest challenge is knowing
survived, and now I take care of my child.
that you are the only parent solely
I have decided I am going to do it! I am a
responsible for everything.
single mom! I plan to be the best that I can be and give all that I can offer. My child
Lessons I have learned as a mom of two
deserves that.
I've learned that when you're a single parent, you should not be too trusting. As
How do I cope
a parent, you have to be wary of the people
Okay, how do I cope with it? It's hard. I'm
that you let into your life. It is imperative to
not just talking about the financial part of
understand that whoever you bring into
your life will be present in your child's life,
day?
so always prioritize your child's safety. Also,
It is my daughter's smile and loving my
do not make decisions out of desperation.
children. That is my biggest motivation. I
Children are like sponges; they learn from
always want to be better at motherhood.
observing you. As a parent, be confident
Sometimes I feel like I am not a good
and secure so as not to teach your children
mother, but that's just me reminding myself
toxic
further
and trying to do my best. I want what's best
emphasize that it is far better to remain
for my children every day. That is what I am
single than to allow just any man into your
trying to do. When I look in the mirror, it is
home. Some men are only looking for fun
not me that I see but my children's future.
and fail to be present, while others do not
And when I mess up, I know that my actions
value children as such are unprepared to
will impact my child's future. This journey
love or accept them.
has not been easy for me though I am
dependency.
I
would
doing it. I get lonely sometimes, but I also I'm very protective when it comes to my
realize that taking care of my children is a
children. I do not let my heart rule!
joyful distraction. At times, I feel like I do
Honestly, no man can control my home nor
not deserve them, and I am so lucky and
live there. If I am dating, then the
blessed to have them in my life. I cannot
relationship happens away from home
remember what life without them was even
because that is my boundary. I choose not
like.
to introduce this or that random guy, especially if I am uncertain of my partner's
What I would say to a struggling single
intentions. I have decided not to bring
mom
instability into my child's life. The last thing I want is for my baby to end up confused
A few years I got on a bus, but I do not
over something that I am doing. I have
recall where I was going. Onboard sat next
sacrificed my dating life for my child.
to me was a teen mom, aged around 19 or 18. She had a baby of about five or six
What motivates me, what drives me every
months in her arms. I could not help but
notice a worried look on her face. First of
The funny thing is, I didn't know if it would
all, this was not a town girl. She looked like
have been okay to hold her hand nor talk
she was coming from the village. Well, I
to her. Sometimes one doesn't know what
assumed that somebody or maybe a
to say or do. Sometimes you are lost and
relative had invited her. I'll never forget the
don't know where to start. Yes, you love
look on her face. She looked worried and
your child, but you struggle, especially if
tired. It was as if she was almost in tears,
you're unemployed or don't have any
you know, confused. Yet, she was carrying
source of income. What I would say to
a very healthy baby in her arms. She looked
somebody going through this kind of
at the baby but had this confused look on
struggle is to persevere for the sake of their
her face and seemed scared. I kept stealing
child. Don't ever give up!
glances and staring at her. I am speaking to you single mom who is Somehow I knew what was going on. I wish
struggling right now; the first rule to keep
I had the opportunity to hold her hand. I
is to love yourself!
knew what she was going through. I knew
1. Love yourself and love the fact that you
that some guy had told her that he loved
were brave enough to bring a child into this
and cared for her. Just as I was lied to, I
world alone without its father's support.
knew that her man too had promised to
The fact that somebody rejected you is
forever be there. However, his for her love
enough reason for you to want to do
only lasted until she got pregnant. Afraid of
better. So, for the sake of your child and
his responsibilities, he then dumped and
yourself, love yourself and then love your
rejected her, leaving her just like that! He
baby. Forget about who left you and who
moved on with his life as if nothing
rejected you. It doesn't matter! God has
happened.
the
given you a task; he has entrusted you with
responsibility of a child all by herself with
your children's lives. I believe God trusted
no job but a bunch of stolen dreams. It
me with my 'little angels' (as I call them),
broke my heart.
and I want to do the best I can for them to
Here
she
was
with
ensure good quality of life. Even if I do it
alone, I'm going to do it. Yet, if I am honest, I'm not alone. I am raising my kids with God. God is with me every day of my life. I feel his presence in every aspect of my life, especially when I cannot handle a situation yet God is right there; he is always stepping in.
2. Find something to do, get a hobby or join a group or club doing fun activities like hiking and charity work.
3. A single mom needs to find God. It is easy to develop an alcohol dependency, possibly because you are frustrated or hurt from the past. But the best thing you can ever do for yourself and your child is to find God and live your life with Christ. Take refuge in Christ's wings; it is the only place you will ever be welcome any day, anytime.
8 Mental Health Challenges Single Moms Face by Dr. Marika Lindholm
For some single moms,
stressors
can pile up and
www.talkspace.com
lead to a mental health crisis. Some of the women who
Nov 23, 2016
sole
come to our site struggle with depression,
responsibility for two children, earned
anxiety disorders and PTSD. Sometimes
around $26,000 a year, found your friends
they self-medicate with alcohol or drugs.
Imagine
you
suddenly
had
drifting away, and continually felt judged for your parenting, no matter how well you handled it.
Welcome to the life of a typical single mom.
By identifying the eight most common mental health challenges facing single moms, my goal is to inspire them to seek support if they are struggling and for all of us to become Solo Mom allies.
As the founder of ESME.com (Empowering Solo Moms Everywhere), I’m astounded by the resilience and fortitude of single moms, who currently are raising 23 million children in the United States alone. The route women take to single motherhood
1. Sleep Deprivation Not surprisingly, single moms rarely get enough sleep. Why? Because they can get so much done when their kids are sleeping!
varies, but parenting alone is physically and
Laundry,
emotionally demanding. For some single
studying and other responsibilities often
moms, it can take a toll on their mental
undermine a single mom’s chance at a
health.
good night’s rest. Sleep deprivation is a
Every hour of every day, single moms rise to the occasion for their children, and they are doing an amazing job. Unfortunately,
housekeeping,
night
shifts,
fragile foundation on which to cope with other challenges. 2. Inadequate Self-Care
many single moms don’t like to ask for help and often don’t even believe they
Single moms are so busy and focused on
need help.
their children that they don’t spend
enough time on self-care and renewal.
behaviors divorced women tell us they
“Spa days” are a pipe dream for most
face.
single moms, and finding time to exercise can seem impossible. Self-care enables
5. Weak Support Networks
women to cope with the challenges of
When a woman becomes a single mom —
single parenting, but most single moms put
whether by choice or circumstance — her
their own care last on their to-do list.
friends often drift away when she needs them the most. Friends may choose sides,
3. Financial Insecurity
feel awkward or be unable to relate to a In the aftermath of divorce or the loss of a
single mom’s new reality. Disconnection
partner,
from community gives rise to feelings of
single
moms
often
become
economically vulnerable. Minimum wage
alienation and hopelessness.
keeps many single moms below the poverty
level—even
working
full
6. A Child or Children with Special Needs
when
they’re
Across
America,
Couples parenting children with special
homeless shelters are the final refuge for
needs are more likely to divorce than the
many
general
time!
single-mom
surprisingly, hardship
poverty
are
linked
families. and to
Not
economic
anxiety
and
population.
Because
moms
overwhelmingly receive custody, they end up performing the lion’s share of these
depression.
kids’ care.
4. Ongoing Conflict with an Ex
In our special-needs groups on ESME.com
Divorce and separation are hard enough, but continuing conflict with a child’s other parent can erode a single mom’s mental health. Bullying, manipulation, withholding child
support
agreements
and
are
violating
among
the
divorce many
and Facebook, we are continually amazed by the selfless dedication of these single moms who do whatever it takes to help their child or children with special needs meet their potential. These moms are also most likely to sacrifice sleep and self-care. 7. History of Abuse
Rates of domestic violence and abuse have
actions that can increase your sense of
reached intolerable levels in society. A
well-being:
significant number of moms who seek support
at
ESME
have
left
abusive
1. Find your tribe: Connect with single moms who share similar challenges.
relationships. Although they’ve made the brave choice to leave, the psychological trauma lingers
2. Ask for help: Even strong, independent women need help every now and then.
and can be easily triggered. Without
3. Network: Build your support network of
support or resources, too many single
friends, acquaintances, and allies.
moms carry a heavy burden of pain, which is often expressed in PTSD, depression and
4. Practice self-care: It doesn’t have to be
other mental health challenges.
expensive or take a lot of time, but it’s a necessity.
8. Stigma and Judgment 5. Seek professional support: Counseling is Stereotypes of single motherhood abound.
literally a lifesaver when mental health is at
These judgments can come at any time —
stake. Given the stressors single moms
from a child’s teacher, another parent or
encounter,
a co-worker. I strive to honor and inspire
overwhelming
single moms because the daily assault of
children on one’s own, it’s clear they are
negative
our modern-day superheroes.
assumptions
about
their
combined responsibility
with of
the raising
parenting skills and moral character is demoralizing and unfair. It’s time to
The next time you meet a single mom with
realize that single moms are invaluable to
fabulous children, recognize that there are
the fabric of American (and indeed any)
millions like her. Better yet, become an ally
society and to treat them as such.
and advocate by asking a single mom, how can I help?
For single mothers facing any of these mental health challenges, here are five
Marika Lindholm is the founder of ESME
professor, she taught classes focused on
[Empowering Solo Moms Everywhere], the
issues of inequality, diversity, and gender at
social platform for Solo Moms, by Solo
Northwestern University.
Moms. A trained sociologist and former
Keeping a Balance It’s important to remember that you are only one person. Here are some tips for single parents to remember: 1. Don’t be too hard on yourself. 2. Take time for yourself. 3. Have at least three ways to reduce your stress. 4.Develop a long list of baby-sitters. 5. Develop a budget and stick with it. 6. Communicate openly and honestly with your children. 7. Listen carefully to your child’s feelings. 8. Set goals for yourself and work towards them. 9. Create some private time for yourself. 10. Maintain structure and routines for your children.
STIGMATIZATION ONLY LEADS TO
A child is born from the union
STAGNATION
life on Earth goes best for
of two parents and I feel that anyone when they live the
What is it like being a single parent? I have
way that God designed it. Whenever we
absolutely NO idea!!! I’m blessed to have
step away from God’s masterplan, we
been raised in a home with two parents
experience much pain and suffering.
who
are
still
Unfortunately,
married today.
this
I
also
reality for many
married to the
families around
father of my
the
child.
has come as a
am
However, have
is
the
world.
It
I
great shock to
always
me to hear that
had
many
compassion
in Malawi are
for
led by single
single
families
parents. It has
moms.
always looked
must
be
an
to me like a
indication
of
challenging
the many social
situation that I
problems that
feel
one
are prevalent in
would
ever
the country.
willingly
want
no
to
get
themselves
This
There has been a rise in cases
into. That being said, I also know a good
of depression and suicide in recent years,
number of amazing single moms. it is
especially amongst males, and especially
through interacting with them that I have
since the start of Covid-19. This causes one
been able to gain some perspective into
to question what is behind the struggle.
the type of unique challenges that they
Could it be that the lack of father figures in
face.
homes has resulted in a gap in the
upbringing of children, leading to poor
these negative experiences to make me
coping mechanisms and lack of resilience?
TOUGH from childhood. I used to believe
How can this be resolved? Why are single
that
moms bearing the burden and most of the
especially in my adolescent years, when I
responsibility? How can single moms and
was transitioning into an adult. However, as
single parents in general have access to
God begun His healing work in me, I saw
support systems to mitigate this problem?
that my pain has made me resilient.
Mental illness is a very serious issue, but in
I am not saying that all westerners are
Malawi, there seems to be little awareness.
expressive.
There is only one public psychiatric hospital
individual person. I recall how Princess
in the whole country and in my personal
Diana famously accused the British Royal
experience,
not
Family of being cold, having a stiff upper
encourage self-expression. A mindset I
lip, and that this expectation to always be
have seen in the sixteen years that I have
aloof became unbearable for her. She felt
been in Malawi is that mental illness is often
alone, misunderstood, isolated and that the
perceived to be a problem of the white
environment
man/mzungu. Many people are either in
exacerbated her eating disorder, post-natal
ignorance or self-denial as to the severity
depression and worsened her mental
of the problem of mental illness in their life.
health.
our
culture
does
this
experience
It
also
of
destroyed
depends
being
a
on
me,
the
princess
However, I think that there is a big When one tries to express their feelings, it
difference
is as if there is something wrong with that
experiences of men and women. Women
person. Personally, I have found it to be a
are universally the more vulnerable gender.
socially unacceptable and a polarizing
Even the bible says that the woman is the
thing to be expressive. I grew up in the
weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7). I used to find
western world and was encouraged to
this offensive when I was first saved.
speak my mind, so I have found myself to
However, as I have matured in my faith, I
be very different from my fellow Malawians.
feel that God is merely pointing that
It’s just that I have become used to being
women are vulnerable in many ways. Most
unpopular, so I learnt to accept this as part
women are able to cry, reach out to friends
of my path to my calling. I have never been
and
a popular person in most of the places I
problems they face. Men, however, are not
have lived in and I believe that God allowed
given the luxury of doing so. Most men try
get
when
some
it
relief
comes
from
to
the
whatever
to always be strong and cling for dear life
committing suicide? People are under
to the “macho” persona, even when they
more pressure than ever. Business are
are drowning. Personally, I only know three
struggling. Financial hardships cause more
men whom who have admitted to me that
friction in terms of relationships. Domestic
they cry when under duress. One of them
violence Increases during times of stress.
is the only very sensitive man that I know
There needs to be more awareness about
who is emotionally evolved and secure
mental health issues throughout Malawi.
enough in his masculinity to cry. I think that
Children in schools need to be taught
there is a fear amongst men that if they are
about depression and suicide and shown
vulnerable, they will be seen as weak,
healthy coping mechanisms, in order to be
effeminate, or homosexual.
more resilient. Single parent families need
A term that is commonly used that I find
to be given spiritual, emotional and
very disturbing in Malawi is, “Amuna
financial empowerment, in order to thrive.
Salira”. It literally means, “men don’t cry”. I remember when my son was first
I don’t know the step-by-step process of
born, some neighbours would complain of
solving the problems that come from the
his frequent crying. I was extremely hurt,
breakdown of the nuclear family, but it
baffled, confused and offended. What
needs to be addressed as a SERIOUS
crime had my son committed? He was just
problem. I like to say that when you bury
a BABY, for goodness sake!! Babies can’t
your head under the sand, the sand will
speak. The only way they can communicate
bury you. Marriage is a very precious and
is to cry. These neighbours would taunt and
sacred thing created by Almighty God. The
make fun of my innocent child. I was very
devil is waging war on marriages and even
angry, but as a child of God, I have learnt
most couples who are still together are
not to deal with things in the physical. I
keeping up appearances. There is a great
turned to God in prayer and asked Him to
need for God to bring healing in marriages,
deal with these narrow-minded people,
healing to men, women and children who
instead of wasting my time and energy. It
have been hurt by the strife that comes
was in that situation that I got a glimpse
from broken homes.
into how hard life must be for men on this Earth.
Children of parents who stayed married,
Keeping in mind that we are living during
but were miserable and endured a toxic
the unprecedented Covid-19 Pandemic, is
upbringing need healing. I feel that when
it surprising that people in Malawi are
you don’t know what to do, PRAY. We
also need to be the change we want to see.
parents
We need to become responsible, stable
experienced divorce be given help to
individuals
overcome their painful situations. Let’s
that
can
foster
healthy
interpersonal relationships.
out
of
wedlock
or
have
STOP stigmatizing one another. We live in a SINGLE world, right? Why do we have to
I have studied many celebrities and have
suffer alone and in silence?
noted that many disturbed individuals emerge from single parent families. The American notorious serial Killer, Theodore Robert Bundy (Ted Bundy), preyed on multitudes
of
innocent
women
and
children in the 1970s and 80s, before being caught. When you read his story, you will discover that his mother bore him out of wedlock and he had a confused upbringing and much bitterness because of this. I am not saying that coming from a broken home justifies this kind of evil. One cannot fail, however, to see the sequence of events in stories like these.
Many messed up
people come from messed up families. When I study the life of Jesus Christ, I see that He has a good relationship with God the father. He also had a stable home with his earthly parents, Mary and Joseph. Even when he faced challenges of life and persecution, his earthly and godly parents supported him every step of the way. May we pray for a revival of the nuclear family. May those who are married be encouraged and assisted when they have problems, instead of being mocked, turned away or judged. May those who have become
Written by Violet Mtali
These articles have illustrated the pros and cons of single parent homes. Children who grow up in single parent homes are not all doomed, most learn to assume responsibility and they learn to appreciate the things that parents work hard to provide. Most also develop self-reliance, a strong sense of self - identity, and resilience. Most of the future strength in the adult comes from within their family. The problem is, some children do not develop these qualities due to different factors. Some children are raised by single parents that are struggling with addictions, poverty, mental illness, poor parenting styles, or are unavailable to the child emotionally. Such children may grow into adults that are not equipped to handle difficult life events, thus also falling into addictive behaviour, self-damaging practices and even suicide. The onus is on the parent to ensure their child learns how to cope with negative life events such as death of a loved one, failure, and illness. They must also encourage emotional intelligence, empathy, and a deep sense of self-awareness in their child. These are what will build a resilient adult. As we observe another month of suicide awareness, let us look at other factors that contribute to poor coping and low resilience in adults especially males in our society. Let us try to understand how a person gets to the point of taking their life, it cannot be simply a matter of wanting out; there must be more to the story than that. May we also refrain from passing judgement on people that have attempted or have successfully ended their lives through suicide. Since we do not have the full picture of what led them to that end, we may be judging a situation that we – or someone close to us- is also currently facing. The best way is to learn as much as we can from them in order to prevent such a thing happening to someone else. Share your comments and opinion through essentialgrace@zoho.com or join the conversation on our Facebook page @essentialgracemagazine
.
Health and Wellness Our Health and Wellness feature this month is Childhood Cancer Awareness. September is set aside as a time where this particular disease is spotlighted in
order to educate and alert the world on this phenomenon. Read more on what is being done in Malawi in our article by Steveria Kadangwe. We welcome your
thoughts and opinion on this issue. We also look at ways to keep cool in the coming hot season without breaking the budget, and while being mindful of the environment. Share your opinion through our email essentialgrace@zoho.com or through our Whatsapp 0991 938 203.
Childhood Cancer Awareness Month By Steveria Kadangwe
Many
former
child
cancer
may
have
post-
September is Childhood Cancer
patients
Awareness month. The sad fact
traumatic
of life is that cancer affects
Children can be resilient, and
people of all ages, not sparing
some
children. A gold ribbon is a
medication and treatment and
symbol of Childhood Cancer
can lead good lives.
Awareness month. The month
Causes of Childhood Cancer
stress
respond
disorders.
better
to
of September promotes activism to raise
As with all cancers, causes are unknown,
support, funding, and awareness of the
and these cancers are not considered
impact of cancer on affected children and
preventable or contagious. Some forms of
their families. Former US President Barack
cancers
Obama founded the awareness campaign
children.
in 2012.
Childhood Cancer in Malawi
The Impact of Childhood Cancer
According to www.worldchildcancer.com,
When children have cancer, it has a
there are 1000 new cases of cancer
devastating impact on their growth and
diagnosed monthly in Malawi. The most
development. They are unable to socialize
common type of cancer occurring in
or even focus on school but rather spend
children
time getting treatments and operations. In
Lymphoma (ABL). ABL is a non-Hodgkin’s
addition, parents of children with cancer
lymphoma that affects the
have to watch the pain and suffering of
system. According to research, ABL affects
their children. Parents have to navigate
more than 50% of all children with cancer
through the adverse effects of medication
in Malawi.
and
At
treatments,
make
life
or
death
are
is
Queen
only
prevalent
the
Elizabeth
African
amongst
Burkitt’s
lymphatic
Central
Hospital
decisions and answer questions to explain
(QECH), pediatric oncologist Dr. George
to the child what is happening. It is even
Chaguluka is in charge of the Children’s
more agonizing when a child has to go into
Cancer
palliative care or has incurable cancer.
childhood cancer cases are diagnosed and
Center.
Around
30%
of
all
treated at QECH. The work that they do
treatment facilities are only available at
focuses on adapting treatment protocols to
QECH. Lacking cancer care centers in
improve outcomes for children. Treatments
Malawi reduces the number of diagnoses
administered to children are adaptive in
recorded and treated, especially in rural
cases where there is malnutrition and other
areas. Government facilities also have
prevalent conditions.
limitations when it comes to pathology,
cancer
patients
chemotherapy
Many childhood cannot
treatments.
endure
In
the
Malawi, by the time a child is diagnosed
Children's Cancer Center, the focus is also
with cancer, it is usually too late for
on capacity building of staff, sourcing
treatments to be effective. In addition,
infrastructure
and
patients have lengthy hospital stays that
following up on patients to prevent
are needed to achieve full recovery. Due to
treatment abandonment.
such extensive in-hospital care, patients
A UK-based charity called Children with
and their caregivers tend to abandon
Cancer in Malawi supports the work done
treatment. In Malawi, most healthcare
at the children’s oncology ward at
professionals are unqualified to identify
Queens. They support nurses and have
cancer
donated some equipment to the unit. The
curability of the illnesses. Malawi does not
charity was formed by visiting oncologists
have radiotherapy facilities and is limited in
from the UK to support the efforts being
diagnostic medical devices implying that
made at Queens to treat children with
treatment protocols are unavailable. There
cancer.
is also a lack of psychological support for
Challenges in Childhood Cancer Care in
parents and children with cancer.
Malawi
The Future
The biggest challenge in Malawi in dealing
In Malawi, there is an urgent need to
with cancer is that there is only one trained
provide training to medical personnel. Fully
pediatric oncologist on staff. Unfortunately,
qualified medical staff will render a timely
the country also suffers from a shortage of
diagnosis, treatment, and care to children
trained nursing staff. In addition, care and
with cancer and their caregivers.
and
At
surgery, imaging, and palliative care.
equipment,
symptoms
and
the
potential
No A/C, No Problem – Use These Tricks to Stay Cool in the Summer Heat
Alternatively,
you
can
freeze water into a large By Andy Corbley June 30, 2021
block by putting a bowl or plastic bottle of it in the
www.goodnewsnetwork.org
freezer, (which will also save
you
money
by
Turns out there are simpler methods
keeping the freezer cooler and reducing
than air-conditioning to keep a room
the time it needs to re-freeze) and place it
or house cool and save you a ton of
on a table in front of a fan. The air blown by the fan will be chilled as it runs across
money.
the ice.
Use ice
Use evaporation
Ever heard the story about how kitchens, hotels,
and
even
towns would have giant blocks of ice brought in on train cars for refrigeration purposes
before
electricity
existed?
That still works today, and it’s cheaper than A/C. If you live in a 1-bed, 1-bath or studio apartment, try soaking a couple of towels, coiling them into C-shapes, and freezing them. Once they’re frozen solid, place them on your head like a crown, around your neck like an airplane pillow, or around the femoral arteries in your thighs. This will cool you right down.
If you leave your windows open for the breeze in the
summertime,
soak
your curtains in water. The breeze will evaporate the water, cooling it to a lovely
temperature,
before blowing it around your house. Sleeping under a damp bed sheet with a fan over you will work as well as any A/C unit: As the water soaks into your skin and then evaporates, it will supercool you. A damp t-shirt would act similarly. Change your meals As strange as it sounds, there is a reason
why spicy food all comes from hot places.
same time!
No one’s cooking vindaloo curry in Latvia the
Some ceiling fans are able to switch the
capsaicin chemical within spicy foods is an
direction they turn. In the winter, clockwise
irritant that causes us to sweat. Sweat in a
is better, but during the summer, counter-
or
Harbin,
and that’s because
frigid Arctic wind will kill you, but in warmer clockwise is where it’s at, pushing the hot
climes it will cool you down.
air around the level of our head and Hot beverages are also great for this,
shoulders down towards the floor and
particularly hot mint tea, as the mint will
circulating the cold air—which naturally
feel cool and refreshing, while the heat
sinks—up towards the ceiling.
from the tea will cause you to sweat. Drink in front of a fan for maximum benefit (though note that if you’re in a humid area, this hack won’t work so well as the sweat can’t wick properly from your body). Finally, salty and or rich foods are proven to make the core body temperature rise. To combat this, eat smaller meals more often, ditch salt and hot protein (a cold cut sandwich
isn’t
bad)
for
fruits
and
vegetables, and leave that oven and stove off to reduce the heat radiation into your house (saving you more money while you’re at it). Other tips Honorable mention goes to whoever got the idea to leave one’s moisturizers in the fridge. Imagine needing to rehydrate your skin, and it being nearly freezing cold at the
Summer is Here!!
time you buy them. Rinse them out
The air is dry, the heat is intense, the
and fill them with clean tap water.
allergies are driving people crazy, the
Whenever you go into town hand
mosquitos are out in full force. Malawian
them out to the needy instead of
summers can be brutal and many of us are drinking a lot more water and fluids than we normally do.
Keep some used water bottles each
giving cash, or loose change.
If you have a business in town, consider buying a water bucket
Have you ever thought about the street
with a tap and keep some used
kids, homeless people, and mentally ill
plastic bottles aside. Invite the
people that roam the streets, where do
needy to fill up their bottles
they get their clean drinking water?
throughout the day. Label you bucket Drinking Water and put it next to your hand washing bucket.
Studies have shown that mentally ill people are at risk of heat stroke and
If you ever
dehydration in the hot season. This may
get sales
be due to different factors including their
people
inability to regulate heat because of
coming to
prescribed medication, or due to wearing
your gate,
layers of clothing despite the weather. It
keep some
may be even harder for them to keep cool
used water bottles aside and hand
due to the lack of access to clean drinking
them out even if you are not
water and a place to take a bath or wash
buying anything. Alternatively, you
their clothes. Sometimes it is because of
can offer them a refill if they have
alcohol and substance abuse, which can
their own bottle. They have
lead to very little self-care. It can be a very
probably been walking a long
difficult life indeed.
distance and have to keep going much longer.
This summer, why not do your
Water is life, let us share the
part in helping such people to
love and help keep one
keep hydrated.
another cool in the coming hot season.
Here are some tips you can use: