7% 7+7 L3'L357L7007 L3'#&0L'"L357L17&3+/%L% &7L/& L-7 '&
"+77
CENTRAL
357L%'1/%L*/ / &7L"'+L%'1/%L 7' %7L L 00 7L :L*/ L!)2$
LOCAL NEWS
Keeping You Up To Date
WHAT'S ON Get Out & About In Essex
LAP OF LUXURY
Your Summer Holiday Sorted
HAIR REHAB
Latest Treatment For Your Locks
3F?.KIDLIHL 1CJDDF?L 8F JL JIL5JI4FKC@ 5HADK
Award
Winning SALONS
tikadi IS DESIGNED BY
ONGAR
THEYDON BOIS
01277 366775
01992 815700 www.tikadi.co.uk
info@thechungpartnership.com
NOW OPEN
Offering a range of aesthetic procedures aimed at enhancing your skin texture and appearance to give you a rejuvenated look. The treatments are tailored towards each client’s needs with age group and skin type being considered.
Dermal Fillers • Micro-Needling • Botox Massage • Skin Peels • Hifu • Lipo therapy Meso therapy • Semi permanent make-up ®
455 High Road Woodford Green IG8 0XE Tel: 020 8220 1235 www.flawlessaestheticsbysonia.co.uk www.fabsb.com Follow us on FB and Instagram /flawlessaestheticsbysb Sonia Branco is fully trained at an advanced level for each procedure and is fully insured to practice aesthetics.
26
35
HELLO!
CONTACT
Welcome to our May issue. This month we welcome back Amanda Anastasiou from Finesse Hair & Beauty in Chingford with her monthly beauty column. Turn to page 15 to see what she has to say about the Opalex hair treatment. Abbotts Travel once again showcase another fabulous holiday destination with a very luxurious Mallorca getaway on page 26. If you’re looking to book your summer holiday we deďŹ nitely recommend paying them a visit at their award winning local agency in South Woodford. Our local news pages detail many of the new business openings that have happened recently and we hope you will pay them a visit this summer and enjoy what they have on offer.
editor@essexcentralmagazine.co.uk Tel: 01787 583152
ADVERTISING advertising@essexcentralmagazine.co.uk
DESIGN Lauren Brown Designs
CONTRIBUTORS Victoria Robertson, Abbotts Travel, Amanda Anastasiou, Dr David H. Dighton
See you next month!
PUBLISHERS School Open Days Ltd
CONTENTS ON THE COVER 8 15 26 31 35
Local News Opalex Mallorca Travel Feature What’s On Competition (%,'( +'),'&, "*))( , ( *
HEALTH & FITNESS 19
Is Prevention Better Than Cure?
HOME & GARDEN 23
May Gardening Guide
FUN & GAMES 37 38
4
Puzzle Corner Dad’s Diary
ESSEX CENTRAL
15
7DDK 1KEIGJC*J; 7DDK 1KEIGJC*J;
Distributed monthly to at the following towns: South Woodford, Woodford, Chigwell, Wanstead, Chingford, Buckhurst Hill, Loughton, Theydon Bois, Epping, North Weald, Ongar. Although every care has been taken to ensure accuracy, School Open Days Ltd take no responsibility for any errors or the advertisements within this magazine.
Made to Meaure Window Blinds For a free no obligation quote call us today!
Tel: 020 3553 5900 Specialists in:
Verticals • Rollers • Aluminium Venetians Wood Venetians • Romans • Perfect Fit Pleated • Panel • Conservatory Blinds 3 day turnaround available on selected blinds
• FREE ADVICE • FREE SURVEY • FREE FITTING See our website for great offers
www.uniqueblinds.co.uk 73 Station Passage, South Woodford E18 1JL Tel: 020 3553 5900 Email: sales@uniqueblinds.co.uk
Quality care when you need it SureCare Redbridge and Epping provides high quality care and home services for life’s journey
Our services include: Personal care and support Respite and holiday care Live-in 24-hr care and support tailored to your needs Companionship Dementia care Childcare Mobile crèche (tailored childcare for your special event) Home services (including cooking, cleaning and DIY)
FREE initial assessment visit in your own home Please call today to discuss your needs on
020 3196 0897 or 07823 550978 or email: enquiries@surecareredbridge.co.uk www.surecare.co.uk
We are recruiting! Care staff required
We are looking for special and caring people to join our team. No experience required as full training is provided. Please email or call the office for more details. Our staff are fully trained and enhanced DBS checked
LOCAL NEWS
The Green Owl is open on Broadway. Debden Broadway. The Green Owl Canteen opened this April, on the site of the old Debden post ofďŹ ce on The Broadway. This new eatery serves a range of tempting dishes for breakfast, lunch and afternoon tea and is open every day. day But what makes mak kes the Canteen different is that everything is cooked from scratch in its state-of-the-art kitchen, including its range of patisseries and sour dough pizzas, the basil and lemon mayo and the prime beef patties. Even the baked beans are cooked in a homemade tomato sauce. This care and attention to detail is down to Jane and Marc Linch, who opened their ďŹ rst small cafĂŠ, the Green Owl CafĂŠ & Deli, ďŹ ve years ago. With a background in ďŹ ne food and hospitality, the focus was always on providing excellent fare and a warm welcome. The Canteen is much bigger - with over 80 covers it’s twice the size of the CafĂŠ - and has literally given them the kitchen space to be more adventurous. Speaking about their new venture, Jane said: “We’re passionate about food, but we also know what people like and, quite often, they like to be surprised by interesting new dishes. Together with our chef Alessandro, we’ve created a new menu which will appeal to diverse tastes, but we have brought with us our recipes for some ďŹ rm family favourites.â€? If you want to celebrate, there’s a cocktail menu to help you and, if you’re on a health kick, a wide range of Healthy Shakes to choose from. But you don’t have to eat in; if you’re pressed for time, you can phone ahead and the Green Owl Canteen staff will have your take-away ready. There’s also a catering service for parties and events. 2! 2 L357L-+'/ #/ :L%' 53'&:L 7007 L 2)L 036 3KC(L)!)L$ )$L$$22 7/3 +77&'#%1/&377&61'6 : ###6 +77&'#%1/&377&61'6
8
ESSEX CENTRAL
Flawless Aesthetics Now open in Woodford F Flawless Aesthetics by SB Ltd (FA), relocated to Woodford Green in February 2018. We are a skin W rejuvenation and wellbeing clinic which specialises in re dermal ďŹ llers, anti-wrinkle treatments, fat reduction SF d Lipo, no-surgical facelift procedures using Hifu or L PDO/COG threads. P All our treatments are non-surgical and minimally A iinvasive, with little or no down-time, in addition to the aesthetic procedures we offer a wide range of a ttreatments such as semi-permanent make-up, hair removal, IV drips for wellness and supplementation, a variety of massages and facial treatments such as broken veins. We also provide bespoke packages and ďŹ nance on a number of selected treatment packages. At FA we are all full trained at advanced level, with a collective experience of over 40 years in aesthetics and rejuvenation. Our team of doctors, specialist nurses, aestheticians and advanced beauty therapists have an amazing level of skills and knowledge, which combined with passion for their work and our technology helps clients achieve their desired goals. We are conveniently located on the High Road with 30 minutes free parking just outside the door and easy access via public transport. A large number of our male and female clients both young and mature, have been with us for a number of years and have now developed a relationship based on trust and friendship. We work by appointment only to minimise waiting times and we use the ďŹ nest products on the market to help you achieve the longest and most satisfying results. Your safety is of paramount importance to us and we will always make sure that you do not undergo any procedures that do not beneďŹ t you, therefore we will not up sell any unnecessary treatments. Our aim is to exceed your expectations by making sure you leave us feeling happier, relaxed and rejuvenated after your appointment with us. L5F;BL+HJ@:L#HH@4HG@L $L) 7 3KC(L)!)$L!!)2! :L99964J8D86?H>L
WALKERS IN ESSEX ASKED TO UNITE AGAINST PARKINSON’S
Local charity garden show needs sponsorship The third bi-annual Marks Hall Garden and Country Show is to be held on 20th to 22nd July 2018 in aid of Essex & Herts Air Ambulance, The Marks Hall Estate and the many Charites supported by Colchester Rotary Club. h show h In 2016 over 2000 visitors ocked to the att the Marks Hall Gardens and Arboretum in Coggeshall, Essex CO6 1TG.
Essex residents are being asked to unite with thousands of people across the UK and Walk for Parkinson’s at RHS Garden Hyde Hall on Sunday 8th July. Two people are diagnosed with the condition every hour in the UK and Walk for Parkinson’s events aim to raise over ÂŁ500,000 for the charity Parkinson’s UK for research to step closer to a cure. There are longer and shorter distances to choose from, so whether you’re up for a challenging walk or a gentle stroll, there’s something for everyone. At Hyde Hall distances include a 2-mile and 5-mile walk. Sky Sports Presenter and Champion of Walking for Parkinson’s UK Dave Clark was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2011. He is a keen walker himself and is encouraging people to get involved. He said: “We want to make 2018 our biggest year yet for the Walk for Parkinson’s series. I’d like to invite everyone, whatever their level of ďŹ tness, to take advantage of the many different types of walks, scenic routes and distances available. Exercise can be really beneďŹ cial to people living with Parkinson’s. It is as important to me as my medication in helping me take control and manage my symptoms. So please join us at Walk for Parkinson’s at Hyde Hall. Every step takes us closer to a cure and our goal of improving the lives of everyone affected by Parkinson’s.â€? The registration fee is ÂŁ10 for adults and ÂŁ5 for under 16s. Everyone who registers will receive a free Parkinson’s UK t-shirt, fundraising pack and at the end of the walk, a ďŹ nisher’s medal.
The Show will provide a weekend of fun for families with a huge variety of attractions, including, Country Pursuits, Falconry display, Vintage Classic Cars, Heavy Horses, Local brass bands, plant and gift stalls and much more. The gardens will be fully open for all to enjoy and there will be plenty of refreshments available. This event is vital to the work these 3 organisations do in the local Community and the last 2 shows have raised ÂŁ80,000 for the charities. Essex & Herts Air Ambulance has been operating for 20 years and has attended over 21,000 missions. Undertaking an average of 4 missions per day each costing around ÂŁ2500, you can see how expensive this service is to run. Without access to National Lottery funding and with limited support from Government they continue to rely on local fund raising. The Colchester Rotary Club provides holidays for injured soldiers and disadvantaged families, zoo and adventure trips for local disadvantaged children, hampers for local families at Xmas. In 2017 the Club was able to spend over ÂŁ20000 in such support. The Marks Hall Gardens and Arboretum is a Charitable Trust established in 1971 and receives no external funding. The Estate combines beautiful formal lakeside gardens, a stunning Arboretum with an enviable collection of tress originating in every temperate area of the world and miles of leafy woodland walks. All of this depends on the generosity and goodwill of local people and businesses.
Parkinson’s UK is also looking for volunteers to help register people at the start/ďŹ nish area, or to be a walk marshal at various points on the route during the day.
A spokesman for the Show said, “We have been very grateful for the support shown by our Show Sponsors in previous years but we are now seeking Sponsors to help us continue our work in the Community. We have some excellent Sponsorship packages which ensure your brand is seen on the Showground and in our literature by thousands of people.�
3HL4FE@LHAIL>HGK:LHGLIHLDF;ELA<LIHL9JC.LHGL,HCAEIKKGLJI IBKLK,KEI:L,FDFI(L9996<JG.FEDHED6HG;6A. 9JC.B=@KBJCC:L ?JCCL)!) L L 2!:LHGLK>JFC 4AE@GJFDFE; <JG.FEDHED6HG;6A.
"HGL>HGKLFE4HG>JIFHELHELD<HEDHGDBF<L<CKJDK ?HEIJ?I(L&F;KCL =DHE K>JFC(LEF;KC ;JG@KE DBH9D6?H> 9996>JG.DBJCC;JG@KEDBH96?H6A.
All the money raised from the event will fund research to help to ďŹ nd a cure and improve the lives of the 145,000 people in the UK living with Parkinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s.
ESSEX CENTRAL
9
Yazmin Oukhellou opens D.(EL South Woodford at VIP event
Yazmin Oukhellou, famous for being on ITV’s The Only Way Is Essex reality TV show came to cut the ribbon and officially open the brand new state-of-the-art sk:n clinic in South Woodford. On Thursday 19th April the new sk:n clinic opened its doors to welcome the elite of South Woodford to their 49th clinic opening. Attendees were greeted with a glamorous red carpet entrance and treated to canapes, cupcakes and an exclusive sk:n goodie bag. All guests were given the opportunity to have a complimentary skin scan – a detailed assessment of the condition of your skin so that steps can be taken to prevent or improve any existing damage. Yazmin said “I would like to thank sk:n for inviting me here today to open their 49th clinic in South Woodford. I am really excited that they have opened their new clinic right on my doorstep. I think the local residents are really going to benefit as they make dermatology and aesthetic treatments more accessible for us." The new clinic is conveniently located two minutes’ walk from South Woodford tube station on George Lane and has 4 treatment rooms boasting the latest state-of-the-art equipment and the highest medical grade lasers to treat a broad spectrum of skin colours, tones and areas. Treatments available will include; laser hair removal, skin peels, antiageing injectables, acne treatments, rejuvenation and dermatology treatments. 3HL?HEIJ?ILD.(ELJE@L8HH.LJL?HEDACIJIFHEDL<CKJDKL;HLIH IBKFGL9K8DFIK:L9996D.E?CFEF?D6?H6A. ?CFEF?D CHE@HE CHE@HE DHAIB 9HH@4HG@L
10
ESSEX CENTRAL
Menswear & Wedding Hire Wear Specialists Rent or Buy
313 High Street, Epping, Essex CM16 4DA Telephone: (01992) 572426
We at Mezze Restaurant aim to provide you with various authentic Mediterranean flavours all carefully chosen for you to enjoy. In order for our meals to taste authentic, we use only the freshest meat, fish, vegetables and finest pure herbs along with other ingredients.
NEW MENU AVAILABLE
BEST BRITISH KEBAB AWARD 2015
LIVE ENTERTAINMENT ENT - PLEASE CALL FOR DETAILS ANDD DATES
Call to book: 020 8505 4312 info@mezzeocakbasi.com 2 Johnston Road, Woodford Green, London IG8 0XA www.mezzeocakbasi.co.uk
)5(( 81'(5)/225 +($7,1* :,7+ 7+,6 $'9(57 $6. ,1 6725( )25 '(7$,/6
$ (DVWHUQ $YHQXH
VDOHV#ERG\ZDVK XN
5RPIRUG
ZZZ ERG\ZDVK XN
(VVH[
)25 (;3(57 $'9,&( /21* /$67,1* 48$/,7< 12%2'< '2(6 ,7 %(77(5
EXPERIENCED THERAPIST WANTED Finesse are looking for an experienced Therapist to rent 1-3 beautifully decorated rooms above an established, busy hair salon. Make it your own business with existing clientele & a lovely team of 5 to support you. For more information, please contact Finesse on 020 8529 2601 or alternatively contact us on Facebook - Finesse Chingford or email: contact@ďŹ nessesalon.co.uk
14
ESSEX CENTRAL
CAN THIS SALON WONDER-TREATMENT ACTUALLY FIX DAMAGED HAIR? 5J,KL=HALK,KGL9FDBK@L=HAL?HAC@L8KLJLDA>>KG 8CHE@KLHGL@GKJ>ILJ8HAILK <KGF>KEIFE;L9FIBLJ @GJ>JIF?LF?=L<CJIFEA>LBJFGL?HCHG L3BKL@J>J;K H4LIBKLFEIKEDKL?BK>F?JCL<GH?KDDLFELJ?BFK,FE; IBFDLFDLKEHA;BLIHL<AILADLJCCLH44 Well donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hesitate any further because the team here at Finesse Hair & Beauty in Chingford may have the answers you are looking for. The Olaplex hair treatment is the biggest trend in hair technology for years, but does it really live up to the hype when it comes to repairing damaged and brittle hair? The simple answer is YES is certainly does. With 33 years of experience of using colour on hair, Bobbie the owner of Finesse calls it the salon wonder-treatment. The simple three-step process includes a patented active ingredient that works on a molecular level to seek out broken bonds in the hair that are caused by chemical (bleach), thermal (hair straighteners) and mechanical damage (using the wrong brush). You can use Olaplex to restore compromised hair with the insalon treatment or your colourist can add it in with your colour to provide the ultimate breakage insurance. Kim Kardashian reportedly swears by the Olaplex hair treatment - â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;When your hair is really damaged, if you sleep in that, it really works. I notice a huge difference.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;
TWO SALON STEPS, ONE TO TAKE HOME "* "+ , & Bond Multiplier is used - this can be put dalone on the hair as standalone re treatment, or if you're getting your colour done, it is mixed in with the bleach and put air in straight onto your hair foils. "* "+ , & ,Bond Perfector is then putt on the hair once the bleach is ft on for a good 15-20 minutes to rinsed out. This is left really get the most out of its chemical mending, leaving your hair super strong and shiny. "* "+ , & Hair Perfector is where you take things into your own hands. The third step is a take-home treatment, which Bobbie recommends you use once a week. Apply to damp hair, comb through, and leave on for around 10 minutes before washing as normal. If you want to maximise the effect, leave it on overnight (as Kim K recommends). As a keen salon geek I have personally had the pleasure of experiencing the wonders of Olaplex. My hair felt stronger than ever and my colour was gorgeous vibrant, bright blonde, I am naturally a brunette so this was always such a tedious task for me to achieve. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re worried about the condition of your hair, next time youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re headed to the salon for a colour treatment, ask your stylist whether Olaplex might be an option for you. !, *% *, %*)'*)(&
If you would like to try Olaplex, please visit 99964FEKDDKDJCHE6?H6A. or ?JCCL)!)L$ ! L! )2 ESSEX CENTRAL
15
We welcome you to our holistic spa Luxury: Our exquisite Elemis facials and massages offer a moment of sanctuary leaving you feeling totally pampered and ready to fight another day.
Energy boost: Or if your body needs a little more attention try Reiki healing that focus on natural healing that enhances body energy.
Get glam: Treat yourself to some striking Russian or LVL lashes, beautiful microblading brows, a bit of botox, some waxing or a classic gel mani and pedi.
We are celebrating our 2 years anniversary on 17th May We canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wait to meet you! Contact our beauty salon today, in Woodford Green, Essex, to arrange effective treatments.
Tel: 0208 220 0760
445 High Road, Woodford Green, Essex IG8 0XE
www.nuuhairandbeautylounge.co.uk Out-of-Hours Appointments Are Available Upon Request
:22')25' $9(18( *$176 +,// ,/)25' ,* ;$
] d _ d [ j _ ^ M ^ j e e <h[[ J 16
9,6,7 86 ZZZ RUWKRGRQWLFJDOOHU\ FRP ESSEX CENTRAL
(0$,/ 86 JDQWVKLOO#RUWKRGRQWLFJDOOHU\ FRP
-Fresh-
new menu new drinks, smoothies, snacks & desserts
visit your local Belgique patisserie EPPING / Theydon Bois / Chingford / south woodford / Woodford green / wanstead
6RRWKLQJ +DQGV %DE\ 0DVVDJH %DE\ 0DVVDJH FODVVHV UXQ DOO \HDU URXQG E\ D )8//< &(57,),(' ,$,0 LQIDQW PDVVDJH LQVWUXFWRU 7KH %HQH¿WV RI %DE\ 0DVVDJH )HHOLQJ FORVHU WR \RXU EDE\ +HOSLQJ EDE\ IHHO PRUH VHFXUH 5HOLHI IURP ZLQG FROLF DQG FRQVWLSDWLRQ (QMR\DEOH RQH WR RQH WLPH ZLWK \RXU EDE\ *DLQ EHWWHU XQGHUVWDQGLQJ RI \RXU EDELHV EHKDYLRXU DQG ERG\ ODQJXDJH 9HQXH 6HUYLFHV Rá&#x201A;&#x2021;HUHG 7KH /LQGVH\ 6WUHHW *URXS VHVVLRQV &RPPXQLW\ $VVRFLDWLRQ 2QH WR RQH VHVVLRQV )UDPSWRQ 5RDG +RPH YLVLWV IRU FROLF (33,1* 'DGGLHV VHVVLRQV &0 53 *UDGXDWH FODVVHV &DOO IRU PRUH LQIRUPDWLRQ RU WR ERRN \RXU SODFH RQOLQH DW
ZZZ VRRWKLQJKDQGVEDE\PDVVDJH FR XN ESSEX CENTRAL
17
The Cardiac Centre FIVE GOOD REASONS TO CHECK YOUR HEART? • A FAMILY WHO NEEDS YOU? • HEART DISEASE OR STROKES IN YOUR FAMILY? • UNEXPECTED DEATHS IN YOUR FAMILY? • PROFESSIONAL DRIVER? • PERSISTENT CHEST PAINS, BREATHLESS, PALPITATIONS?
We offer a comprehensive private heart testing and screening service (Ecg, Exercise Ecg, Artery Scanning, Echocardiograms And Stress Echocardiograms)
Telephone Noreen: 0208 508 7741
Loughton Private Medical Clinic (Est 1973) 115 High Rd, Loughton, Essex, IG10 4JA UK www.loughtonclinic.org www.thecardiaccentreuk.co.uk
become aware of it. This is now completely justiďŹ ed because we can now perform what would have seemed like miracles when I qualiďŹ ed as a doctor in 1966. We can do bypasses, and insert stents, pacemakers, de-ďŹ brillators, and even a heart transplant. #K ?JELDJ,KLCF,KD:L8AIL4FGDIL9K >ADIL@KIK?ILIBKL<GH8CK>LFE IBHDKL9FIBL4K9LD=><IH>D6
HAL>J=LEHIL8KCFK,KLIBFD:L8AIL>JE=L@H?IHGD DKK>LEHILIHLJ;GKK6L/CCL@H?IHGDLJGKLIGJFEK@LIH F@KEIF4=LJE@LIGKJIL@FDKJDK:L8AILEHILJCCL9JEILIH 9JDIKLIBKFGLIF>KL JDLIBK=LDKKLFI :LJIIKE@FE; IBHDKL9BHLJGKL9HGGFK@LJ8HAILIBKFGLBKJCIBL4HG EHL;HH@LGKJDHE6L One problem is that disease can take a long time to reach the point where its presence is obvious. Might it not be sensible, therefore, to try to ďŹ nd heart disease before itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s too late? This policy works well for cars â&#x20AC;&#x201C; checking the oil, tyres, and radiator ďŹ&#x201A;uid, so why not people? There is a simple answer â&#x20AC;&#x201C; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s too expensive and ineffective by the NHS. The two major causes of disease in adults in the western world are cancer and heart disease. My job since 2000 has been to reďŹ ne methods to detect early heart disease - before patients
Many know about chest pains, and even what to do when they occur, but are they the only sign of heart trouble? In fact, they are an uncommon early symptom â&#x20AC;&#x201C; only one in twenty of those with narrowed heart arteries have #+)', *(% (better described as tightness than pain). Most have )#&$'%+)),& , $+*'# â&#x20AC;&#x201C; getting worse over a few weeks or months. *'( +,*% , $ %%(% ,& ' & ,)'+* ,are also early signs. Since *%!,& ,'#&)+ ('#,#+*$', ()+*)+,#* +,*, * ("!, + +$, ('#,(' those at risk might suspect who they are. 5H9L?JEL?HGHEJG=LBKJGIL@FDKJDKL8KL@KIK?IK@LKJGC= One myth we need to explode is that those with heart disease have a raised blood cholesterol. By contrast, nearly all will have â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;furredâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; arteries (atheroma) â&#x20AC;&#x201C; in their neck (and heart) arteries, where we can detect it painlessly using ultrasound. Some, but not all, have an abnormal heart tracing (ECG) on exercise (it is often normal at rest). !,'* +,#& +, +))* +,'&,!& ,*"",(),'#() , ,!& ,#* + #+*$', ()+*)+,(%,!& $, * ("!,*% ,*$+, +''(% , &$+ $+*'#"+)) , &%)( +$, +(% ,'+)'+ , &$,+*$"!, &$&%*$! #+*$', ()+*)+ Dr David H. Dighton MB BS MRCP(UK) Cardiologist. Cardiac Centre Loughton. #JI?BLHAGL,F@KHD(L9996BKJGIFEIGHA8CK6?H> /E@L9996IBK?JG@FJ??KEIGKA.6?H6A.
ESSEX CENTRAL
19
ABOUT US: • We started because CoinBase and other coin exchanged had extortionate fees and there was no one you could speak to • We set up a physical presence, so people can come in and see us and have the comfort of speaking to someone face to face • We’re tired of all the companies hiding behind screens , we decided to pute the power int the buyers hands, as well as giving them a chance to interact with an actual person that could deal with day to day questions. • We also run crypto concierge and bureaux de crypto which does what is says.
USPS: • We offer better rates than all our competitors • Current and prospective clients will have a dedicated account manager • Our turn around times a lot quicker • Risk exposure is minimal • 24/7 contact line • We have a walk-in office • Fiat to crypto over the counter • Private membership to other brands such as Nova and Sugar Rush (bitcoin payment only)
NOW OPEN Want to learn more about bit coin and crypto currencies? Please see below the courses and their outline. Note all of this is relevant to technical market analysis, allowing the student to analyse any market data such as commdoities, Crypto, cheese, wine etc and Blockchain as a whole.
MODULES: 1. TRADING 101 1. Welcome to the Financial Markets 2. An introduction to the various financial markets 3. How, Why, When & What to trade. 2. THE CONCEPT OF TRADING 1. How does one trade? 2. How different asset classes interlink 3. Broker quotes 4. What moves the price of an instrument 5. Profit & Loss 6. When are you Buying and When are you Selling? 3. TRADING ASSET CLASSES 1. Foreign Exchange (Money Market) 2. Stocks 3. Indices 4. Commodities
5. Cryptocurrency 6. Alternative 4. NAVIGATING TRADING PLATFORMS 1. MT4 2. MT5 3. Web-based platforms 4. Other trading platforms 5. Worldwide Exchanges 5. 1. 2. 3.
TYPES OF ANALYSIS Technical Fundamental Sentimental
6. FUNDAMENTAL ANALYSIS 7. TECHNICAL ANALYSIS 8. SENTIMENTAL ANALYSIS 9. RISK & PORTFOLIO MANAGEMENT 1. Money Management 2. Leverage
3. Hedging 4. Market Exposure 5. Limiting Risk 10. PSYCHOLOGY OF TRADING 11. TOOLS FOR TRADERS 12. TRADING BROKERS 1. Types of brokers 2. Types of Accounts 3. Which account is suitable for you 13. TRADING EXCHANGES 14. TRADE EXECUTION 15. DEVELOPING A TRADING STRATEGY 16. HOW TO JOURNAL YOUR TRADING JOURNEY 17. AUTOMATING YOUR TRADING 18. TRADING ETHICS AND COMPLIANCE
Book your place on our courses now! What to know more about Bit-coin? Contact us today.
Tel: 020 3471 3306 NEW Chigwell Office Now Open! 728-730 Chigwell Road, IG8 8AL
PESTS & DISEASE Cutworms are dull brown caterpillars ranging in length from 1 to 2 inches when fully grown. They curl into a Cshape when disturbed. Normally they are found on or just below the soil surface or on lower parts of plants and are commonly active at night. Hand-picking them off at night with a torch is very effective. Clip and dispose of infested foliage and blossoms.
WITH VICTORIA ROBERTSON A SEASONAL GUIDE TO HELP YOU GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR GARDEN. 5J<<=L;JG@KEFE;L>HEIBLH4L*J= L I D 8KKELJL,KG=L?BJCCKE;FE;L;JG@KEFE;L=KJG 4HGLADLJCCLDHL4JG6L%HIDLH4LGJFELJE@LDEH9 BJDL@KCJ=K@L<CJEIFE;LIF>K6L#KL?JEL<AI FILJCCL8KBFE@LADLEH9L9FIBLIBK DA>>KGIF>KL AF?.C=LJ<<GHJ?BFE;LJE@ IBKLBKG8J?KHADL8HG@KGDLIBFDL>HEIBL9FCC 8K;FELIHL?H>KLIHLCF4K6L You will notice now that the soil is warming up the weeds will begin growing rapidly too. Keep removing the weeds as you see them grow! Vegetables can now be planted outside into their ďŹ nal growing positions. Sow some more of your favourite seeds directly into the soil too such as Sweet William, spinach and radish. There still might be some late frost so keep the ďŹ&#x201A;eece to hand to cover them all up if necessary. SOFT WOOD CUTTINGS Now is the perfect time to take softwood cuttings to propagate. Lavender, lemon balm, rosemary, scented geraniums and many shrubs and trees will also root easily.
: Take softwood cuttings from the new
growth (soft, succulent tips or stems).
: The best time to do this is early in the
morning. Cut a 4 inch cutting from the stem of the plant at a 45-degree angle, about 1/2 inch below a node, where a leaf emerges from the stem. Remove any ďŹ&#x201A;owers or buds as well as leaves from lower part of the stem.
WILDLIFE WATCH DamselďŹ&#x201A;ies are small, delicate-looking insects that can be seen near garden ponds. When at rest, most species hold their wings closed along their back. All four wings are the same size and shape. Adults reduce the numbers of nuisance insects such as ďŹ&#x201A;ies, mosquitoes and biting midges.
: Dip into a root medium and place the cuttings in prepared containers. You can put several into one pot, leaving the top part with leaves exposed.
: Place pots in a warm, semi-shady to
semi-bright location and cover with a clear plastic bag or dome.
: Keep moist but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t over-water. Be
sure to open the bag or cover for an hour every day to provide ventilation
: When cuttings send out new leaves
and roots have formed remove the bag or cover and repot each plant in its own pot ďŹ lled with potting soil. Allow the new plant to put on some growth before transplanting to the garden.
-=L F?IHGFJL+H8KGIDHE:LJ>KEFI= BHGIF?ACIAGFDILJE@L?H>>FIIKK >K>8KGLH4L1H<<K@L5JCCL 7<<FE;L5HGIF?ACIAGJCL0H?FKI=L L1BJFG>JELH4L7<<FE;LFEL-CHH>6L
ESSEX CENTRAL
23
Fitting Service EXPERIENCED CREATIVE PRACTICAL
FREE initial consultation 50 Queens Road, www.nicantony.com Buckhurst Hill, info@nicantony.com Essex IG9 5BY 020 8498 0228
24
ESSEX CENTRAL
First Landscapes
When you think landscaping, think first!
Patios, Driveways, Decking, Paving, Rendering, Fencing Brickwork, Turfing, Planting, Lighting and much more…
First Landscapes are a small but professional formal landscaping company specialising in contemporary and traditional garden designs and construction.
Tel: 07926 028 199 freddy.28@hotmail.co.uk
MBP
Security Systems
• CCTV • Intruder Alarms • Access Control • Intercoms & Door Entry • Video Intercoms • Network Cabling • Gate Automation • Perimeter Protection • Existing systems serviced & maintained
For more information please call: 07815 862016 or email: info@mbpcontractors.co.uk ESSEX CENTRAL
25
EXPERIENCE LUXURY LIKE NO OTHER IN
ndulge your senses and create lasting memories in a place where anything can happen.
I
The Grand Portals Nous is an adults-only boutique venue in beautiful Mallorca, recently opened in March 2018.
Just outside Puerto Portals, one of the Mediterranean’s most prestigious marinas, the hotel is just 11km from Palma de Mallorca, with direct access to the beach. Every aspect - the terrace restaurant with its views of the bay, the enchanting gardens, the luxurious spa - has been planned to surround guests in an atmosphere of calm for a truly memorable holiday, making a place to stay where the experience stays with you.
26
ESSEX CENTRAL
The interior of the hotel is the work of top Dutch designer Marcel Wanders, internationally renowned for his iconic interiors. The 66 exclusive rooms reflect his unique sense of style, featuring a perfect mix of transparencies, shades of white and reflective surfaces that converge to create a warm and open space. He has skilfully converted the entire hotel into a work of art that is guaranteed to surprise and delight guests in search of a relaxing few days immersed in pleasure and luxury
on the shores of the Mediterranean. On arrival, guests will be greeted by a butler service endorsed by the prestigious British Butlers Guild. Room choice stretches from executive doubles to penthouse doubles with a private terrace, jacuzzi and massage treatments in guests’ rooms. All rooms feature a Nespresso coffee machine, Bulgari Blue Tea amenities and a media hub.
Selected suites are designed to provoke endless pleasure for the senses, created around ďŹ ve themes: Naughty, Stargazer, Games, Heritage and Spa.
considered to be among the world's best, and can be enjoyed alongside views of breathtaking cliffs and rugged coves that form a sharp contrast with the beaches lining the Majorcan coastline. Culinary delights are paired to perfection with an extensive and meticulously selected wine list.
The Stargazer Suite is perfect for admiring the constellations in the most luxurious setting, under a Swarovski starred ceiling with access to a professional telescope and a laser guiding you to the stars. Penthouse suite guests have the keys to a BMW hybrid that is theirs to use throughout their trip. When - indeed, if - you want a change from 24-hour room service, grab a table at Astir, a gourmet restaurant with an exclusive supplier: Bodega El Capricho. Their meat is
These services are the perfect complement for golfers who will enjoy playing on any of the seven courses situated within easy reach of the hotel, such as the Bendinat Royal Golf Club, whilst sea lovers will be able to try their hand at a range of water sports. The hotel's Guest Experience Service will ensure you get the best of the island, organising anything you want from queuejumping at top restaurants to a personal shopper, nightlife advice and last-minute boat or helicopter reservations.
The Naughty Suites are ideal for imaginative fun, with leather and silk textures, oversized bed, ceiling mirror and much more. The Games Suite houses a pinball machine, table football, games console and a putting green on the terrace.
is ďŹ tted with state-of-the-art Technogym equipment, ideal for programming personalised sessions.
Indulgence is balanced by wellness, or rather the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ďŹ rst Wellness & Beauty Institute. Pick from an extensive range of luxurious facial and body treatments at the Beautysphere, a collection of ďŹ ve treatment rooms, including one double, a manicure and pedicure studio and a hairdressing salon. The Wellnessphere is free for guests and has a Finnish sauna, biosauna, Turkish bath, contrast pool, ice fountain and six different types of showers. The services include free facial, body, nutrition and lifestyle assessment, as well as free access to the ďŹ tness room, which
Guests can also enjoy access to the trendy Puro Beach Clubâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; via an exclusive transfer service from the hotel. The Grand Portals Nous invites you to sample luxury at its ďŹ nest. Get in touch for further details and to book.
/88HIIDL3GJ,KC 2 L KHG;KL%JEK 0HAIBL#HH@4HG@L72$L2-/ 3KC(L)!)$L $ L 9996J88HIIDIGJ,KC6?H>
ESSEX CENTRAL
27
THE NEW PLACE TO EAT, MEET AND CHILL We’re now open on The Broadway, Debden. We’ve got a really tempting menu and everything is cooked from scratch using the freshest and finest ingredients, including our patisseries, sour dough pizzas and gourmet burgers. Open every day: Mon-Sat 7.30am – 7.00pm, Sun 8.30am – 6.30pm 12-14 THE BROADWAY I LOUGHTON I ESSEX IG10 3ST 020 8508 8811 I EAT@GREENOWLCANTEEN.CO.UK GREENOWLCANTEEN.CO.UK
GET SOCIAL
this Open mo ing nth !
AU T H E N T I C I TA L I A N D I S H E S
Quore Matto Ristorante & Pizzeria 133-135 Epping High Street, CM16 4BD Tel: 01992 676 030 Email: joshcrisci@quorematto.co.uk
www.quorematto.co.uk
Saturday SAT SA T 28 8 APRIL A 9th L 2018 2June 018 2018
See PPeeppa Pig & George 27 & 28 May at innttervals at
© A B D Lt d / En t . O n e U K Lt d 2 0 0 3 .
f holders o r o f e r a f d £5 ts railcar a residen
6 REA AL ALES 2 CIDER CIDERS aboard the Flag and Whistle bar carriage
www.eorailway.co.uk
30
ESSEX CENTRAL
Come and ssee ee Ch hase & Sk kye – 4 Aug gust st M rshall Mar h ll & Rubb R bb ble – 5 Aug A gust stt at int nte terv rva vals on eac ach da ay ay © 2018 Spin Master. A l l R i g h t s R e s e r ve d .
01277 365200
YOUR LOCAL EVENTS GUIDE
CHARITY GALA NIGHT
QUIZ NIGHT Cash prize to be won. Tel: 01992 572618. 7,KG=L3AKD@J=LJIL3BKL3BK=@HE 'J.L FEFE;L L A8:L 1HH<KGDJCKL0IGKKI:L7<<FE;L 1*2 L
LADIES RUNNING CLUB Come and join our social running group for ladies only. Set yourself targets and push yourself or just be comfortable running at your own pace plus Fairlop Waters is a perfect place to enjoy a run. ÂŁ3 per session, no booking required. 7,KG=L3BAGD@J=:L <>LJIL"JFGCH<L#JIKGD:L "HGKDIL+HJ@:L-JG.FE;DF@K L 5&
DIGITAL CAMERA WORKSHOP Want to move on from a ďŹ lm or basic digital camera? A day to remove the mystery and aid your full use of digital photography. Take your camera. Cost ÂŁ31 (plus ÂŁ1 if not a BHCA member). For more details ring 020 8504 6668 or email ofďŹ ce@bedfordhouse.org.uk 0JIAG@J=L IBL*J=:L2)J> <>L JIL-A?.BAGDIL5FCCL1H>>AEFI= /DDH?FJIFHE:L-K@4HG@L5HADK: #KDI8AG=L+HJ@:L-A?.BAGDIL5FCC
ONGAR ART SOCIETY AGM followed by a demonstration by James Merriott of 'Landscape in Watercolours'. For more details, ring Lynne Harris on 01277 372123 or Beverly Hughes on 01708 688554. 3BAGD@J=L2)IBL*J=:L$<>L JIL5F;BL'E;JGL FCCJ;KL5JCC:L *FCCL%JEK:L5F;BL'E;JG
In aid of Scope - About Disability. Drinks reception and three course meal, silent auction and rafďŹ&#x201A;e. DJ until late. Tickets ÂŁ45 each. For tickets and more information ring Caroline on 07947 679612 or Paige on 07921 259119. "GF@J=L22IBL*J=:L <>LJIL-CJ.KD HC4L1CA8:L7<<FE;L+HJ@:L &HGIBL#KJC@
BOOK FOLDING WORKSHOP The art of folding book pages to make striking and creative images and sculpture. Turn old books into art instead of dumping them! No experience necessary, materials available at cost from tutor. Cost ÂŁ31 (plus ÂŁ1 if not a BHCA member). For more details ring 020 8504 6668 or email ofďŹ ce@bedfordhouse.org.uk 0JIAG@J=L2!IBL*J=:L2)J> <>LJI -A?.BAGDIL5FCCL1H>>AEFI= /DDH?FJIFHE:L-K@4HG@L5HADK: #KDI8AG=L+HJ@:L-A?.BAGDIL5FCC
OPEN DAY Cup Final and Royal Wedding with the wedding at noon and the FA Final shown live on a giant television screen. Take your friends and celebrate together. Also an Epping Art Society exhibition on 'Buildings of East Anglia'. The tower will be open (weather permitting), plant sales, bouncy castle, craft stall, bric-a-brac sale, book stall, quizzes, pottery, face painting and games, displays of ďŹ&#x201A;ower arranging and vestments, refreshments - morning coffee, hot dogs and burgers, and cream teas in the afternoon. 0JIAG@J=L2 IBL*J=:L4GH>L2)J>LJI 0IL HBE DL1BAG?B:L7<<FE;
VOLUNTEER DAY Do you enjoy working outdoors? Do you fancy getting some exercise while helping to improve wildlife habitats and maintain the local landscape? Volunteer Days run on the last Tuesday of the month with all training and tools provided. Wear
weather-appropriate clothing and sturdy boots. Take your own food and drink. Ring Julia Rolf on 01992 523863 for further details or email julia.rolf@greenacresgroup.co.uk 3AKD@J=L! IBL*J=:L2)J> <>LJI GKKE/?GKDL7<<FE;:L FCEL+HJ@: &HGIBL#KJC@
SHOW Theydon Bois Drama Society performing 'Much Ado About Nothing', by William Shakespeare. Tickets, priced ÂŁ10, available at www.ticketsource.co.uk/theydonboi sdramasociety or by ringing 01992 919038 (50p donation to the Royal British Legion for each ticket sold). 3BAGD@J=L IBL AEK 0JIAG@J=L IB AEK:L$<>LJIL3BK=@HEL-HFDL FCCJ;K 5JCC:L1H<<F?KL+H9:L3BK=@HEL-HFD
THE CHINGFORD VILLAGE FESTIVAL This community festival features A Craft Fayre, Food stalls, Outdoor stage with live music/dance displays. The church hosts choirs & The church Hall has varied live music. Mornington Hall has acoustic music and in the garden there is FREE Kidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Entertainment. There are sports displays - join in sessions, Bag Pipes & Fun Fair Rides. Information to have a stall, or take part contact Irene Bull on 0208 559 4500 or email irenebull@hotmail.co.uk www.chingfordvillagefestival.info 0JIAG@J=L IBL AEK:L&HHE <>LJI 3BKL GKKE:L00L KIKGL L JAC D 1BAG?BL L5JCC:L*HGEFE;IHEL5JCC JG@KED6L0IJIFHEL+HJ@:L 1BFE;4HG@L7 L 7&
ESSEX CENTRAL
31
ESSEX CENTRAL
33
g n i k l a W e r We’ s ’ n o s n i k r a for P Join us
rd fo s lm e h C , ll a H e d y H n RHS Garde Sunday 8 July ehallEC parkinsons.org.uk/hyd
020 7963 3912
WIN TWO FREE TICKETS TO CLASSIC IBIZA AT HATFIELD HOUSE 1CJDDF?L 8F JLFDLGKIAGEFE;LIHL5KGI4HG@DBFGKLHEL2DI 0K<IK>8KGLJE@L9KLBJ,KLI9HL4GKKLIF?.KIDLA<L4HG ;GJ8D The concert sees the Urban Soul Orchestra (USO), DJ Goldierocks and a host of live vocalists perform some of dance musicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most iconic tracks in the delightful grounds of HatďŹ eld House. ( #', &% +$),& , "*))( , ( *, ('#, (%()'$!,& , & % Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what to expect: 26 JE?KL>ADF?L/ CFDIKGD( USO have performed with a veritable whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s-who of dance music, including Nightmares On Wax, Groove Armada, Soul II Soul and Robert Miles. !6 0A<KGDIJGL (LGoldierocks has a celebrity following that includes Kate Moss, Madonna, The Rolling Stones, Giorgio Armani and the Duke & Duchess of Cambridge (she has performed exclusively for them all). 6 3GK>KE@HADLIGJ?.D( The set-list includes some of the biggest dance-tracks dating back to the 90s, including Out of Space (The Prodigy) and Hey Boy, Hey Girl (The Chemical Brothers) that were voted for by thousands of Classic Ibizaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Facebook followers over Easter. 6 "J>FC=L4GFKE@C=( Classic Ibiza is a concert for all the family, so whether youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re six or 60 you are assured
astic of having a fantastic e evening in a safe environment. Y can bring 6 "HH@L4HGLIBHA;BI( You your own picnic and refreshments or take advantage of the local street-food vendors and bars on site. 6 /LEF;BILH4LI9HLBJC,KD( Classic Ibiza starts with a chill-out set, where you can relax over a glass of bubbly, or dance along as the sun fades. The music gets ramped up in the second half and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be transported to a magical, alfresco celebration, with accompanying lasers. 6 +J,KLHE(LUSO has released â&#x20AC;&#x153;Classic Ibizaâ&#x20AC;?, an album of iconic dance anthems. It features many of the tracks being played on the night and is available on CD and all major music websites and apps. $6 5J<<=L5JI4FKC@L5HADK(LWith easy access to transport links, the delightful grounds of HatďŹ eld House provide the perfect backdrop for what promises to be a summerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s evening to remember. FDFI(L9996?CJDDF?F8F J6?H6A.L HGL?JCCL)2!$ L$ 2 )2 3F?.KID( Adults: ÂŁ39.50, Children (5 â&#x20AC;&#x201C;16): ÂŁ17.50, Under 5's: free, Car-parking: free.
TO ENTER: Email your details to competitions@essexcentralmagazine.co.uk Closing Date: One winner will be picked at random on Thursday 31st May 2018 ESSEX CENTRAL
35
SUFFERING FROM BACK, HIP OR KNEE PAIN? THEN WALK THIS WAY AposTherapy® is an innovative, personalised, non-surgical and drug-free programme for knee and back pain, based on a foot-worn biomechanical device which is individually calibrated by specially-trained chartered physiotherapists. Developed by medical doctors coming from the fields of orthopaedics and sports medicine and founded on well-established scientific principles, AposTherapy® is clinically proven to deliver long term pain relief and to improve function, mobility and quality of life.
THE LOUGHTON SURGERY 25 Traps Hill, Loughton IG10 1SZ
With more than 50,000 patients benefitting already worldwide, now is the time to contact us to find out if a free, in-depth assessment with one of our Apos Therapy® Certified Physiotherapists, is suitable for you! YOU WILL: • Experience our knowledge and understanding of knee pain • Complete a computerised walking analysis • Understand the root of your problem and find out how it may be addressed • Try the personally-calibrated foot-worn device and experience the immediate pain relief it may offer
WOODFORD GREEN PRACTICE 154 High Road, Woodford Green Essex IG8 9EF
W: www.atkinsphysio.com
T: 020 8504 0478 E: info@atkinsphysio.com
CORNER WORD SEARCH MODES OF TRANSPORT: 1JG 1HJ?B "KGG=
/KGH<CJEK 1JIJ>JGJE 5KCF?H<IKG 5HILJFGL8JCCHHE
+F?.DBJ9 -F?=?CK 5HGDK8J?.
0 '
DIFFICULTY: HARD
ANAGRAMS Rearrange the letters DAIIN _ _ _ _ _ to find 8 holiday ANJPA _ _ _ _ _ destinations ILATRAUAS _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ DWENES _ _ _ _ _ _ KURETY _ _ _ _ _ _ YTPGE _ _ _ _ _ IATROAC _ _ _ _ _ _ _ NDAACA _ _ _ _ _ _
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
Can you spot 6 differences between these two pictures?
For puzzle solutions please visit www.essexcentralmagazine.co.uk
ESSEX CENTRAL
37
WITHOUT A MAP... Trumpet fanfare at the readyâ&#x20AC;Ś last month was Georgeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 5th birthday! It was a gloriously beautiful day, the birds were singing, the sun was shining and I felt relaxed and peaceful, so we decided to ruin this serene moment by agreeing to take over 20 kids to a farm. Our troubles began when Jake decided to do his best â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;leaping salmonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; impression as I struggled to hold him whilst walking into the large entrance barn. There were chickens everywhere, large roosters, and ducks in this initial building, and they made one hell of a racket, â&#x20AC;&#x153;squawk!! Coo coo!! Kakaah!â&#x20AC;? it was mental and I brieďŹ&#x201A;y considered thrusting my head up a cows anus for some peace and quiet, just until the kids had left and the animals were asleep, just a few hoursâ&#x20AC;Ś Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not crazy. Understanding this wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t please the farmer I decided instead to promptly walk through the bedlam and emerge through to the daylight on the other side. Jake was happy to be put down at this point (as in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;loweredâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to the ďŹ&#x201A;oor, not â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;euthanizedâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;) and proceeded to run off towards the pigs and sheep, armed with just his little bucket of feed and a pocketful of dreams. I sprinted after him but was brutally attacked by more screeching cockerels which I tried valiantly to ďŹ ght off. It looked like I was acting in some kind of UFC cornďŹ&#x201A;akes commercial. After the feathered bullies had their fun with me I made my way back to Jake, just as George was leaving the main barn with his friends and heading through the feathered gauntlet themselves. The farmers and parents managed to shake off the over friendly birds and the kids started to wander around the rest of the farm, George joined me and Jake. This was the moment were â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;hygieneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; literally threw itself out the
38
ESSEX CENTRAL
window, or over the farmyard fence (whichever you prefer) as both of my boys were feeding the muddiest looking pigs youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d ever seen. It initially looked like the earth was moving, piles of mud just grunting at us, but every now and then one would shufďŹ&#x201A;e towards us, open its vast gob and the boys would enthusiastically offer it food, which it gobbled up like a Dyson. This left their hands covered in mud, saliva and god knows what, but thankfully there were various hand wash sanitation points dotted around the farm. I ushered the boys conďŹ dently towards the nearest one, it was empty. No worries I thought, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s try that one, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t lick your ďŹ ngers George!â&#x20AC;? another one, empty. Ok, not good, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Take your ďŹ ngers out of your ears, Jake!â&#x20AC;? the 3rd was also empty.
â&#x20AC;&#x153;After the feathered bullies had their fun with meâ&#x20AC;? This was now becoming quite a problem, it turned out the only working one was back inside the main barn, where Jake had earlier been petriďŹ ed. I decided his health mattered more than his fear of big ďŹ&#x201A;ying birds so proceeded to pick him up and his arms began to thrash wildly once more, which obviously caused me to be covered in mud. The three of us made our way to the hand sanitiser and onlookers could only assume that Jake was very adverse to cleaning by looking at the screams and incredible body contortions he was producing. Farm yard done we then moved to the other side of the venue for food (a different building altogether, without any foul fowl) and presented George with his birthday cake. Once again, my Mrs had gone to town on the design, regular
readers may recall last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s octopus, and this year it had a dinosaur and volcano theme with a brontosaurus, t-rex and ďŹ&#x201A;ying pterodactyl (I kid you not). The gasps of appreciation had barely subsided when my sister in law began helping and tried to light the candles, her hand knocked off the head of one dinosaur whilst the heat started melting another â&#x20AC;&#x153;George, hurry up and blow the candles out!!â&#x20AC;? was the cheery, and somewhat eager, request. Just after this we began to hear screams, and sobbing, lots of screams, high pitched, panicked, and wondered what on earth was going on. It turned out that 3 young girls had accidently locked themselves in the toilet (personally Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d have been happy in there and made the most of the peace and quiet, they had a sink in there, a lovely water source, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be ďŹ ne, but they were too concerned with missing out on eating melted dinosaurs and clearly their combined fears were now inďŹ&#x201A;aming each other). â&#x20AC;&#x153;Help us!!â&#x20AC;? they yelled, as a crowd of parents began ďŹ ddling away at the lock, grown men stepping through like they could ďŹ ddle with it better than the last person, some bright spark appeared with a butter knife, striding through the crowd like heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d seen James Bond do something similar and his little knife/keyhole shufďŹ&#x201A;e was bound to work, it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. Eventually the manager came out with a spare key and the door swung open to reveal 3 incredibly traumatised young girls, whose tears suddenly turned to joy when they saw there was still cake remaining. It had been a great day, the boys had enjoyed it and so had their friends, but in future Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d prefer the chickens were on chains and the sanitiser points were well stocked!
3HL8KL?HEIFEAK@
61 ESSEX CENTRAL
39
Beautiful Plantation Shutters & Blinds SOLID HARDWOOD SHUTTERS AT MDF PRICES! IN ANY PAINT FINISH & ANY STYLE
35% OFF Selected ranges
NEW SHOWROOM - 128 George Lane, South Woodford, London, E18 1AD