Police seek information on missing rocks See Page 4 for complete story
DRIFTWOOD The community newspaper of the University of New Orleans
Volume: 58 Issue: 8
October 22, 2014
driftwood.uno.edu
Livin’ It Up
Campus housing nears full occupancy Rachel Friedman Driftwood Staff
Jwahr and Fahad Alotaibi knew Lafitte Village was where they wanted to live when Jwahr enrolled as a graduate student at the University of New Orleans. “It’s exciting,” Jwahr said. “I like to be near the school. I can go to the library whenever I want, and it’s safe for children.” Being a safe place for children became very important four months ago when the Saudi Arabian couple welcomed their first daughter, Nora, into the world. Jwahr is pursuing a master’s degree in English at the University of New Orleans, while Fahad is studying business administration at Delgado Community College. He later plans to transfer to UNO. Upon graduation, they plan to return to Saudi Arabia where Jwahr will then teach English. One advantage to Fahad’s enrollment at Delgado over UNO is the availability of daycare. “The campus daycare helps the students with children,” Fahad said, adding that he sees Nora every day Many of their neighbors are also international students, giving them a common bond in learning the city
and bettering their English, Jwahr said. The couple has been extremely happy with their on-campus living arrangments. “This is one of the cleanest apartments I have seen,” Jwahr said. “It has brand new appliances. It is quite safe and quiet. When there was a problem they came to fix it. We also like the people in the office. They are very friendly. And what is better than that?” Lafitte Village is one of three housing options on campus. While it is home to married or partnered students and families, there is dorm living for grads and undergrads at
Pontchartrain Hall and apartments at Privateer Place are open to students of all local colleges. And all are filling fast. With the new first year rule requiring all freshman or first year students in the University of Louisiana system to live on campus, campus housing has nearly hit its maximum capacity. Now that all incoming freshmen are required to live on campus, there was a waiting list for the Pontchartrain Hall dormitories at the beginning of this semester. The waiting list has dropped, but the rooms are still almost at full capacity at 95 percent occupancy. With the new housing requirement, students may continue to fill the on campus housing residences in the future. However, there
are no plans to expand as of yet. “I think the administration is open to expanding if a situation presents itself, especially with new international students coming in,” Director of Housing Mike Brauninger said. If there is a waiting list for dorms, students are admitted on a first-come, first-serve basis. Priority is given to students who are enrolled full-time, while students who are enrolled part-time are allowed to live on campus if occupancy permits. There is an old dormitory building still standing on campus, but administration has no plans to utilize it. “I understand they are making plans to demolish it,” Mike Brauninger said, “They are negotiating this with the state, and I am not sure when that will happen.” Students have been known to make a buzz at the beginning of the semester after first moving in which eventually dies down about three or four weeks into the semester, Brauninger said. Quiet hours are enforced during the week from 10 p.m. until 9 a.m. There are also a number of dedicated study rooms on each floor in each hall which are open to residents 24-7. Pontchartrain Hall also has a small convenience store, game room, free See HOUSING, Page 6
Confessions of an RA “One night I was in the South Hall front desk area, and on the security camera they saw someone run in the east exit late at night. “The person was wearing a costume so they stopped the camera to rewind it. It Bartholomew was a guy dressed in a purple wig and a black gown who ran through the exit and into the hallway. “He actually came back to wave at the camera before going back down the hallway. It was the mysterious purple wig streaker, and we couldn’t find him after. “We could never find him again after that happened.” Aspen Bartholomew, Electrical Engineering major, Senior, RA of South Pontchartrain Hall, first floor
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Wednesday, October 22, 2014
NEWS
THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL
Landrieu visits Dillard to discuss student debt, college affordabilty Anna Gowin Driftwood Staff
United States Senator Mary Landrieu recently used Dillard University as a platform to discuss the lack of recognition it and other area schools, like Xavier University, receive - leading her to the unveiling of Passport to the Middle Class, a large part of her current senatorial re-election campaign. On October 1, Landrieu (D) addressed a crowd of local college students at Dillard. The setting proved to be important to Sen. Landrieu as she went on to talk about Dillard’s struggle post-Katrina and the level of aid they had received. Sen. Landrieu spoke of the $160 million loan that she had helped to secure for Dillard and mentioned that she was currently working on a way to have that loan entirely forgiven. Passport to the Middle Class is focused on affordability and access, Landrieu said. “When the Pell Grant was created, it covered 100 percent of college tuition in the state, now it only covers about 35 percent,” she said. Landrieu hopes to raise the Pell Grants value from $5,730 to $8,900 to combat rising tuition costs using what she called the Creating High-
er Education Affordability Necessary to Compete Economically (CHANCE) Act. Landrieu’s goal through Passport to the Middle Class is to give everyone who is willing to work hard an equal opportunity at success and to “create the middle class this country deserves.” Special emphasis was placed on Hispanic and African-American students who are given opportunities through things like the Pell Grant In addition, Passport to the Middle Class includes Landrieu’s initiative to have students restructure their own student loans. While reducing high interest levels on loans, students would also be able to refinance existing loans through the initiative. “A college degree should help individuals build dreams, not debt,” Landrieu said. In order for all students, particularly those from lower income families, to have those opportunities, education reform is completely necessary, she said. Landrieu also touched on other components of her platform such as the underemployment of individuals with degrees but a lack of skills. “It is tragic to see students graduating and all they really have is a
Anna Gown/Driftwood
U.S. Sen. Mary Landrieu speaks to a group of students at Dillard University during a campain stop earlier this month. diploma.” she said. Landrieu did not provide any further details on ways to ensure standards in higher education or increase employment. Sen. Landrieu closed by an-
swering a question about the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which is focused on ensuring an equal workplace environment for members of the LGBT+ community. She tied ENDA back
to her previous statements about state employment by saying that the rights of LGBT+ individuals in the state need to be protected because they are “untapped resources in our state.”
OPINION
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
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Campus Calendar
Don’t be stupid with your social media Christy Lorio Editor in chief
Everyone and her mom is on Facebook these days, literally, which isn’t a huge shocker. Instagram, Twitter, Snap Chat and Vine are all popular social media outlets, and it seems that new apps crop up on a daily basis. Most of us utilize these platforms to communicate with our friends, be it to vent about midterm exams, share the excitement of a new crush, or just to share funny photos of our pets. While it might be tempting to tweet like no one is watching, more and more employers are turning to social media to gain information about potential employees beyond what’s shared in an interview. A quick Google search can yield a cornucopia of a person’s online activity. Private accounts can remedy this, but that doesn’t stop a vindictive coworker from taking a screenshot of a rant about your boss and e-mailing it to him or her. Social media can be more than just a sounding board; students can utilize social media to help them get the job they want, particularly in creative fields such as music, film, theater, photography, creative writing and art. I started a freelance writing career five years ago solely based on my online presence. Most of my best writing gigs were procured not from sending out resumes, but because editors found me on Twitter. I presented myself in a fun yet professional manner instead of dropping F bombs and complaining about how bored I was at my job. Many major newspapers now print reporters’ Twitter handles alongside their e-mail addresses in the byline. Readers want to connect with content producers in more ways than just the written word, be it digital or in print. But you don’t have to be an aspiring news reporter to gain a following; in fact, you might not even want one. The Gambit, in a recent issue, covered school programs that teach students how to best represent themselves, or a brand, online. Students from first grade through college are now being taught to successfully engage audience members online. Your drunken selfies might garner you 60 likes from your friends, but a potential employer might misjudge you as a wreckless, egotistical employee who won’t show up to work on time. If your dream is to write a science fiction novel, follow other successful novelists and pay attention to how they are promoting themselves. If you’re an artist or photographer, utilize Instagram to kick start your career. It’s harmless to post a silly cat photo with a can of PBR, but if you have to think twice about posting a photo that might haunt you later on, err on the side of caution and don’t post it. So how do you start? Follow people and businesses on social media that appeal to you and interact with them in a friendly way- don’t just spam them or mindlessly comment on their posts. And remember that networking online is not a substitute for real life interactions. Online interactions can help break the ice and lead to a future in-person meeting, or even a job. Shameless self-promotion: follow Driftwood on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter at @unodriftwood.
Lights & Sirens ■On Oct. 2 there were a number of attempts to steal money from various vending machines on campus. At 10:45 a.m., three Biology building vending machines were found broken; $189.40 was stolen collectively. At 6 p.m., a vending machine in the Geology/Psychology building was broken into with $64.35 stolen. A soda machine in the Science building was found broken into the same day. ■On Oct. 8 at 12:30 p.m., a male subject committed simple battery on a male UNO student after insulting the victim with a slur referring to his sexual preference. After being arrested, the subject kicked the rear window and frame from the police
car and threatened to have the responding officers fired because of his family’s status in the community. ■On Oct. 9 at 11:20 p.m., two white males, who began beating him with a brick, punching him and yelling obscenities, assaulted a resident in Privateer Place apartments as he entered his apartment. When the victim stated he had a firearm in the apartment, the suspects fled the area in an unknown direction. ■On Oct. 15 at 5:15 p.m., a victim was crossing the crosswalk on Founders St. by the Education building when a vehicle struck her. The driver exited the car, punched the victim, and fled the scene. No
witnesses were located. ■On Oct. 15 at 11:48 p.m., campus police apprehended a suspect who had forcefully taken a person’s cellphone at the north side of the Amphitheater. The victim and a witness positively identified the suspect and the cellphone was recovered undamaged at the PAC where the suspect discarded it. ■On Oct 16. at 4 a.m., campus police investigated a disturbance at 923 Privateer Place that culminated in an arrest warrant for a known female subject that was an aggressor in a physical confrontation. Compiled by Charles Nicholson
OCTOBER 22 Program of Taiwanese Culture and Language The Taiwanese Student Association will host its weekly Taiwanese Culture and Language program from 2:30 until 4:30 p.m. in Milneburg Hall. This 10-week session includes courses include Mandarin Chinese lessons and topics on Taiwan. For more information, contact Mr. Dai at sdai@uno.edu. Jazz at the Sandbar The Jazz at the Sandbar fall series continues from 7 until 10 p.m. at The Cove. For more information call 504-280-6381 or visit music.uno.edu. OCTOBER 23 Honors Council The Honors Council will hold a general meetings from 12:30 - 1:20 p.m. in the Earl K. Long Library room 407. Open to all Honors students. For more information email honorsprogram@ uno.edu.
from 4:30 - 6 p.m. in Kirschman Hall room 214. For more information email gdrichar@uno.edu.
Graduate School Expo UNO graduate degree program representatives available for meet from 5 - 7 p.m. in the UC Ballroom. For more information email gradschool@uno.edu.
Kick-Off Concert for Take Back the Night Walk The Student Accountability, Advocacy and Disability Services and the Department of Music sponsors a kick-off concert from 6 - 8 p.m. in the Amphitheater. For more information email Amy King at aaking@uno.edu.
Vollyball: Privateers vs. Abilene Christian Privateers play Abilene Christian from 6:30 - 9:30 p.m. in The Human Performance Center. Free admission. OCTOBER 24 The UNO Genshiken Anime Club hosts its weekly meeting
OCTOBER 25 Volleball: Privateers vs. Abilene Christian Privateers play Incarnate Word from 2 - 5 p.m. in The Human Performance Center. Free admission. OCTOBER 27 Grupo De Conversacion Spanish conversation group holds weekly meetings at 3 p.m. at The Cove. For more information contact the Foreign Languages department at 504-2806965. Student Activities Council Meeting The student Activities Council holds its weekly meeting from 4:30 - 5:30 p.m. in UC room 208.
OCTOBER 28 Student Government Meeting The Student Government holds its weekly meeting from 4:30 - 6 p.m. in UC room 208. All students are welcome.
THE DRIFTWOOD UNODriftwood UNODriftwood UNODriftwood
The Driftwood is the student run official publication for the University of New Orleans. It is published weekly and distributed at 24 newsstands on and off campus on Wednesdays. The newspaper does not publish editions the week of midterms, finals, Thanksgiving and fall break. All submissions are subject to editing by Driftwood Staff. The driftwood office is located in room 252 of the University Center, 2500 Lakeshore Drive University Center 252 New Orleans, LA 70148
Staff Christy Lorio Editor in chief Kristi Martin Managing Editor Abraham Thacker Business Manager Pawan Aryal Layout Editor Ashley deBaroncelli Visuals Editor Aviayna Thomas Copy Editor
Staff may be reached by phone at 504-280-6377 or email driftwoodeditor@uno.edu or online at www.driftwood.uno. edu.
Kerry Leigh Pittenger Office Manager
Ad sales inquiries should be directed to driftwoodads@uno. edu
Vickie Kennedy Faculty Adviser
Willie Marsalis Distribution Manager
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NEWS
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
CRIME ON CAMPUS
UNO police seek campus rock thieves Professor: Rare samples went missing Sept. 25 Charles Nicholson Driftwood Staff
They may have looked like regular rocks to the untrained eye, but the two missing pieces of Earth were actually samples that had been part of a display on the University of New Orleans campus for more than 10 years. The two rock samples on display were stolen from the north entrance of the geology/psychology building in the night hours Thursday, September 25. Professor Alexander Falster reported last seeing the samples at 7 p.m. that night and returned at 5 a.m., Friday, to find them gone. One sample, the pegmatite, had been on campus for more than 10 years and the other, the amphibolite, had been on campus since 1992. “They [the thieves] moved the other samples around to make it seem as if nothing was missing,” said Falster. “It had to have been done by more than one person because those samples are extremely heavy.” As of press time, there are currently no protective measures tak-
en to prevent theft of more samples. The nearest cameras are only pointed toward the pay-to-park lot, intended to catch those who try to avoid payment. This incident is not the first time a rock sample has been stolen. A large formation of banded iron was stolen in July 2013 - a specimen that had been at UNO since the late 1970s. The process for the Department of Earth and Environmental Science (ESS) to receive samples is very expensive. The pegmatite was brought from the Emmons quarry in Oxford County, Maine. The amphibolite was hauled down from a mountain in Ontario, Canada. “The cost to replace these samples ranges from $500 to $1,000. We might only get a few every year,” said Falster. In Falster’s view, the thieves are stealing from more than just ESS department property. “They are stealing from the students and the general public as well,” said Falster. “We actively use these samples during classes. There are also people that come from off-campus to view our samples, and UNO is also the only place
Special to the Driftwood
A squirrel eats a slice of pizza from his makeshift picnic table - a rare rock sample that was stolen from a display on the UNO campus outside the geology/psychology building on Sept. 25. in the entire city that has them on display.”
Anyone with any information on the missing geological specimens are asked to contact campus police
in the Computer Center Room 234 or at 504-280-6371.
REGISTRATION NEARS
Mini-sessions maximize time spent in college
are offered online as well in class. In-class courses tend to meet more often than 16-week courses since the same amount of material is Along with regular 16-week courses, the Uni- covered in half the time. versity of New Orleans also offers eight week “That is why many of these courses are mini-sessions twice a semester. These academic three days a week for an hour and 50 minutes appointments do not appear on the student cal- rather than the traditional three days a week endar but can be found in WebStar under the for fifty minutes,” Keith said. “additional search criteria” when searching for Even though mini-sessions are not new to classes to enroll. UNO, some students seem unThese eight-week classaware of this option. es, or A and B Sessions as Elizabeth Seleen, an anthrofound under WebStar, are pology major in her senior If I had known, it (mini condensed courses designed year, had no idea UNO offered sessions) could have to meet the same requireeight-week mini-sessions. ments as the regular 16 week made my college career “Yeah I would (take them)... courses. go a lot faster. or would have if I knew about Caleigh Keith, a first year them prior to my senior year,” academic advisor, said, she said. “These courses are particMini-session academic ularly helpful for students -Elizabeth Selen appointments, such as regiswho need remedial work tration and start dates, do not before entering courses reappear in the student calendar quired for their majors. and a course search requires students to select “For example, Engineering majors need to the “additional search criteria” option in Webtake Calculus I, Math 2114,” Keith continued. Star below the general course search. Once “If a student doesn’t place into Calculus I by there, students can find “Session A and Sesvirtue of his or her ACT or SAT score, he or she sion B” options in the dropdown menu next will need to take Precalculus Algebra, MATH to “Sessions” and will find a course offering 1125, and Precalculus Trigonometry, MATH list just like the regular 16-week list with start 1126, before entering into Calculus I. By taking dates, credits, and instructor information. these math courses in the mini-sessions, these Whether or not students feel like they can students can achieve their remedial math work finish a course in half the time, they should be in one semester rather than two semesters, al- aware of this option if they find they need for lowing efficient degree progression.” a last minute course to graduate, an un-expectSome courses offered in the later half of this ed prerequisite, or should they simply want to fall semester include anthropology, precalculus accelerate their education. trigonometry, plenty of Organizational LeaderSelen said,“If I had known it could have ship courses, and German. made my college career go a lot faster”. Just like the 16-week courses, mini sessions Aubrey Saunders Driftwood Staff
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DINE LIKE A PROFESSIONAL UNO Seniors, Juniors, and Grad Students are invited to join us to learn proper dining etiquette and networking tips, all while conversing with UNO Alumni in a relaxed environment.
THE UNIVERSITY of NEW ORLEANS INTERNATIONAL ALUMNI ASSOCIATION
TIP #14 Commit to a firm handshake, eye contact, and a smile!
Professional Etiquette Luncheon Friday, November 14 12:00 p.m. - 2 p.m. Homer L. Hitt Alumni and Visitors Center
TIP #22 Prepare for conversation with a few casual non-business topics.
Lunch is complimentary. Please dress in business attire.
RSVP by Nov. 7 For disability accommodations, contact 504-280-6225.
alumni@uno.edu 504.280.2586 www.UNOAlumni.com/Dine
For career, job seeking, and resume help, visit UNO Career Services in UC 250.
SPORTS
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
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SUPPORT SQUADS
Diamond Girls to be asset to baseball team Carlee Lauve
Special to the Driftwood University of New Orleans Baseball Assistant Coach Blake Dean plans to start a Diamond Girls program for the Privateers’ upcoming 2015 baseball season. The Diamond Girls program would help the overall functioning of the baseball program and assist the team in fetching bats and foul balls. The Diamond Girls would also help to promote upcoming baseball games around campus in an effort to get students more involved in supporting UNO’s baseball program at each game. Dean, a 26 year old from Crestview, Florida, is the newly promoted Assistant Coach for the UNO
Privateers Baseball team. Before starting his coaching career at UNO, Dean was a baseball player for the Louisiana State University Tigers from 20072010, as well as an undergraduate coach during the 2013 season. According to Dean, LSU’s Marketing Department already has a similar program: the bat girls. Dean said he was bringing the program to UNO for a variety of reasons. “I think bringing a bat girl program to UNO will bring multiple benefits. One, we are getting girls from campus involved with a sports team. Bridging the gap between average students and your student athletes. Two, it
has potential to increase our
number of fans because friends and
families of the bat girls would come to watch the baseball game and support us. Three, it allows the girls who are representing our baseball program to interact with the fans and community in a more personal manner. Ultimately, it’s nice to have girls who enjoy baseball come out to support our program and be a part of a ground breaking venture.” Becky Callaway, a junior on the UNO cross country/track team, plans to help get this program started. Callaway said, “College athletics is not just sports and games, but a chance for an entire school to rally behind a common goal. Privateer Bat Girls have the privilege of aiding
the players in the representation of UNO students on the field as well as being an active part of every play. Privateers baseball has a bright future with outstanding coaches with a clear vision, and being a founding part of a great, upcoming program will be a fantastic opportunity to set the stage for years to come.”
To Apply
To be selected as a Privateers Baseball Diamond Girl, interested women must submit an application. Interviews will be held November 11 through 13. For more information or to request an application, contact Blake Dean at bdean@uno.edu.
ISO WORLD CUP 2014
Willie Marsalis/Driftwood Staff
Left, Saad Aldossary Sr. delivers a kick for the Falcons during the International Student Organization’s World Cup tournament held earlier this month. Seven teams of eight to 10 players competed with the team pictured above taking first place. The tournament was a fundraiser for International Night scheduled for March 15, 2015, at the Human Performance Center.
For More Info Visit:
inst.uno.edu/photocontest
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Wednesday, October 22, 2014
FEATURES
UNO Theatre strays from usual “Hamlet” casting Veronica Mannsell Driftwood Staff
UNO’s theatre department recently wrapped its first series of the 2014-2015 year with much success. “Bengal Tiger at the Baghdad Zoo”, written by Rajiv Jospeh, examines the destruction of war in Iraq through soldiers, civilians, and animals. The production was directed by David W. Hoover, who will also direct the spring production of “The Misanthrope.” Third year grad student Margaret Broach looks forward to the rest of the theatre season based on the production of “Bengal Tiger at the Baghdad Zoo.” Broach said “‘Bengal Tiger’ was a really exciting show. It was interesting to watch a performance dealing with current issues. The show was very emotional and real.”
“Hamlet” is the next production running November 13-24 at the Robert E. Nims theatre, located in the Performing Arts Center. The Shakespearean play will be directed by Jim Winter. The leading role of Hamlet will be played by Sam Malone, who has acted both at UNO and professionally in New Orleans over the years. Malone is a final year graduate student in the Film and Theatre program at UNO. “Hamlet is a tough script, an actor’s Mount Everest. I’m excited for the opportunity to play the character of characters,” Malone said. Hamlet rehearsals are well underway with the cast and crew working around the clock on the production. “Every scene has it’s own mountains to climb. I’m really trying to dive into the emotional journey of my character” said
Malone. Bringing a universally in-depth script to life is another exciting, yet challenging element for actors and crew. “No theatre performance is a solo job. It takes a team, and it’s great to be surrounded by a great cast and director, Jim Winter, who has brought some great additions and ideas to really own the production,” Malone said. There is already buzz around campus about the production. Students are excited about the talented cast and different direction Winter is taking with Hamlet. Senior Amelia McCoy looks forward to the modernization of the play. “It’s going to be different then the traditional “Hamlet” we have seen time over and over. The theatre group has modernized the old classic by putting their own spin on it. “ Tiffany Anderson, working on
her MFA in Theatre Arts at UNO, encourages the shift from traditional type casting. “I’m excited to see a black Hamlet. The company is breaking the stereotypical rules of casting Shakespearean plays and Sam is a great actor.” The production will run Thursday-Saturday at 7:30 p.m. with one matinee performance on Sunday (11/24) at 2:30 p.m. General tickets are $12 and student tickets are $8. Tickets for Hamlet are now available for purchase online at uno.edu or call the UNO Box Office at 504-280-SHOW (7469).
unlimited meals. One advantage to dorm living is the possibility of the cost being scholarship inclusive. There are currently 178 students on housing scholarships. The rates for Lafitte Village range from $8,520 per year to $9,720 per year. Another advantage to on-campus living is the around-the-clock security provided by UNO police officers.
The department is committed to creating a living and learning environment for all students, residents, and faculty that is truly safe and secure while on campus, UNOPD Chief Tom Harrington said.
Theatre UNO received early recognition from the Kennedy Center American College Theatre Festival for last weekend’s performances of “Bengal Tiger at the Baghdad Zoo,” a Pulitzer-nominated, Tony Award-winning play by Rajiv Joseph. The play runs again this weekend at the Robert E. Nims Theatre on campus. Join us!
HOUSING Continued from Page 1 laundry, and social lounges located on the fourth floor for programs and student organizations. The dorms provide students with a learning environment and offers programs to its residents as well as occasionally offering programs to students in Lafitte Village and Privateer Place. Pontchartrain Hall has four affinity wings located on the third and fourth floors on the north hall specifically for leadership and involve-
ment, New Orleans culture, transfer students and honors students. “It’s open to all students from all over, and it gives them a community to feel more welcome,” Terrell Calvin, Area Coordinator for Pontchartrain Hall, said. Rates for the full year in Pontchartrain Hall range from $6,350 to $9,870. Meal plans are required of all students living in the dorm and range per semester from $1,354 for 12 meals per week to $1,692 for
All on campus crime reports are available online for anyone to view at http://s2.uno.edu/unopd/UNOPDApplications/CrimeLog.aspx.
By the Numbers Pontchartrain Hall 22 one-bedroom suites 55 two-bedroom suites 152 four-bedroom suites 327 female residents 375 male residents Lafitte Village 72 two-bedroom units 48 one-bedroom units Privateer Place 72 efficiency units 216 two-bed, two-bath units 60 four-bed, two-bath units
LAGNIAPPE
Yak Attack I can’t really say I’m “procrastinating” anymore...more like “jeopardizing my future”... Trying to synchronize strides with the girl next to me on the elliptical so we look like an OK GO video. My bank account and GPA is having a race to 0! Cafeteria got plates so clean you can practically eat off of them. I’m convinced the U in UNO stands for unorganized. Guy: *passes the attendance sheet* Girl: “I have a boyfriend.” It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always
take things literally. It’s called fall because everything is falling. Leaves, temperatures, bank account, gpa, motivation. Due to the recent budget cuts, we will be selling barbecued squirrel meat in front of the library to fundraise. Please contribute, every dollar makes a difference, help make your school a better place. I just found 5 dollars on the ground I’m about to drop out of school and move to Vegas. Does anyone else feel like Dr. Dew has waited his whole life to be approached by Indiana Jones and whisked away on a compli-
cated mission with a two week deadline? Do you ever meet someone for the first time and you have to pretend you’ve never seen them before but in your head you’re like “I’ve totally stalked your Instagram and Facebook and Twitter.” Welcome to Who’s Gonna Fail Today. The game where everything is made up and the points don’t matter. I guess I’ll make up for these low grades with high calories. When people come in expensive cars to college, I’m just like wtf are you here if you have money!
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Students take a break at recently opened Brewed Awakening in the library
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Wednesday, October 22, 2014