San Antonio Current - March 8, 2017 by Chava Communications

MARCH 8-14, 2017

P A R T R E H C TEA IN THIS ISSUE THE COST OF DISCRIMINATION TRINITY'S SNOWFLAKE GENERATION SOUTH BY SAN ANTO

+ WILL TEXAS LAWMAKERS STEM THE RISING TIDE OF EDUCATORS CAUGHT PREYING ON STUDENTS?

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BU Y

YOUNG THE GIANT DE LA SOUL

N O W

BASTILLE THE NAKED & FAMOUS

MINUS THE BEAR CARLA MORRISON

SMALL BLACK HONEYHONEY

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IN THIS

FIRST WORDS

Defense Says Women Coerced Into Sex by SAPD Cops Were “Well-Experienced” And Therefore Not Victims: “Just two words to describe the prosecutor’s argument here: RAPE CULTURE.” — Jayne Newb San Antonio Is Already Losing Business Because of Texas Anti-Trans Bill: “Good! Why would you even put a price on a little girls privacy, or even little boys for that matter! Fkn RIDICULOUS!” — Samuel Rocha Don’t Walk Your Dog Off-Leash in a Texas State Park — A Game Warden Might Shoot and Kill It: “Where do they find all these people who are soooo fearful they shoot anything that gets near them? Stupid human should have kept her dog on a leash but shooting and killing a leash less dog is cowardice.” — Rob Myrie Women Were told SAPD Officers Would Wipe Criminal Records, Help with Child Custody Cases in Exchange for Sex: “This isn’t the first time SAPD has had this issue come to light. Between the embarrassment of BCSD and now this, when the hell are these taxsupported idiots going to clean up their act?” — Benjamin Nicholas • Send your thoughts, comments, kudos or tips to letters@sacurrent.com

ISSUE Issue 17_10 /// March 8-14, 2017

NEWS

Pet Patrol Don’t walk your dog off-leash in a Texas state park. Game warden might shoot and kill it. Snowflake Generation Trinity conservatives file “harassment” claim against students who returned their event fliers

FEATURE

Teacher Trap Will Texas lawmakers stem the rising tide of educators caught preying on students?

Romo’s “Embrace” Longtime UTSA prez resigns, says how he “embraced” women employees made them uncomfortable

Cover illustration by Alex Nabaum Art direction by Sarah Flood-Baumann 8

CURRENT • March 8-14, 2017 • sacurrent.com

Our top picks for the week

ARTS + CULTURE

SCREENS

Short Stories Meet the high school filmmakers representing SA at SXSW

FOOD

Market Trip South American cooking inspired by a visit to Tienda Centro America Food Court Battalion and NOLA Brunch & Beignets open, and Dady heads to Food Network

ON THE

In fiscal year 2015-2016, Texas broke a new, unfortunate record: An eight-year high in inappropriate teacher-student relationships. In fact, the problem has gotten so bad that top state lawmakers have called the issue a priority for this year’s legislative session. This week, we explore the alarming rise in creepy, criminal student-teacher relationships in Texas.

CALENDAR

Cost of Discrimination San Antonio is already losing business because of Texas antitrans bill

Back to the Future Contemporary interpretations of 1980s art in Blue Star’s ‘Homage’

COVER

NIGHTLIFE

Booze News Happy hours we’re into this week and brewery news

MUSIC

South By San Anto Catch these SXSW acts on the home front this month Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology

sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 9

NEWS

MICHAEL BARAJAS | @MICHAELSBARAJAS

COST OF DISCRIMINATION San Antonio is already losing business because of Texas anti-trans bill

SHUTTERSTOCK

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MICHAEL BARAJAS | @MICHAELSBARAJAS

OT, UTSA .E DU

> There was news out of the city’s largest university last month: Longtime University of Texas at San Antonio President Ricardo Romo had been put on paid administrative leave pending a review of his “conduct.” Then came anonymous chatter that said “conduct” review might have to do with sexual harassment claims filed by a former employee. And now here’s how Romo explained himself in a message to the UTSA community on Friday, announcing his resignation after nearly two decades at the university’s helm: He’s sorry the way he “embraced women” around campus made them uncomfortable. “I have been made aware that the manner in which I embraced women made them uncomfortable and was inappropriate,” Romo said in his statement. He says he understands and respects that UT officials have “concerns about my behavior and I deeply apologize for any conduct that offended anyone.” Romo said he’s retiring, some six months ahead of schedule, because he doesn’t want to be a “distraction” or a “disruption” to the university. He also said he’s turned down an offer to be director of the Texas History Center at the Institute of Texan Cultures, where he’d planed to spend a year following his retirement from UTSA. The Express-News reports that “sources close to the investigation” into Romo’s conduct “said that the review was related to sexual harassment allegations.” That, coupled with Romo’s explanation Friday, really makes you wonder what kind of “embrace” he was giving women around campus.

CURRENT • March 8-14, 2017 • sacurrent.com

currently scheduled 2018 Men’s Final Four games out of San Antonio, which would cost the city more than $200 million in lost tourism and tax revenue. In fact, it’s one of the few issues in the city’s mayoral race that all sides seem to sort of agree on. At a debate sponsored by KSAT at the Tobin Center last week, Bexar County Democratic Party Chairman Manuel Medina did the whole “I haven’t seen all the details and I don’t have all the information” thing, before contending the bill probably doesn’t have a chance and talking about himself in the third person (which, as many have noted, he likes to do): “What I do know is Manuel Medina is pro-equality and Manuel Medina is anti-discrimination.” Mayor Ivy Taylor, meanwhile, said she’s been working with business leaders and the Bexar County delegation to the statehouse to try to drum up opposition to the bill. Council member Ron Nirenberg used the issue as an opportunity both underscore the discrimination aspect of SB 6 and take a shot at Taylor, saying she didn’t speak up on the issue until she got the thumbs up from the business community. “It’s also a human issue,” he said. Meanwhile, as politicians and big business interests argue over money (perhaps it’s just easier for them to debate money versus equal rights), studies show the population most affected by SB 6 is already paying the price for the anti-LGBT rhetoric coming from the state conservatives. A recent U.S. Transgender Survey found that 29 percent of more than 1,000 trans Texans surveyed had been fired, denied a promotion, harassed, or otherwise mistreated by an employer because of their gender identity within the past year. Their unemployment rate was significantly higher than average, and nearly one out of three said they’d been homeless at some point in their lives. That survey also underscored how transgender Texans already had to deal harassment and/or actual violence because of how someone reacted to them in a public restroom. Nine percent said they’d been physically denied access to a restroom in the past year. Ten percent said they’d been verbally harassed when using the bathroom. One percent said they’d been either physically or sexually assaulted in a bathroom, and one third said they now limit how much they eat and drink when they’re out so they can avoid public restrooms altogether. And that was before lawmakers tried to pass SB 6. To see up-to-date coverage on SB 6, check out sacurrent.com

UTSA’s Romo resigns, says how he “embraced” women employees made them uncomfortable

The big business argument against the anti-trans bill brewing at the Texas legislature has been that businesses and organizations will stop coming to a state whose leaders openly discriminate against a whole group of people. While Lieutenant Gov. Dan Patrick, the bill’s main pusher in Austin, has called those economic concerns “bogus,” San Antonio officials are saying the consequences are already real. Three groups that had been considering San Antonio for conventions or major events have already crossed us off their list. Another eight conventions the city has already booked have said they’ll cancel if lawmakers pass the bill. That’s according to Visit San Antonio, the city’s agency for conventions and tourism, which told the Express-News last week that we’re out of the running for about $3 million because of those three groups that won’t even consider us anymore. If those eight conventions already booked pull out, the city would lose about $20 million. (City officials recently turned the city’s convention and tourism bureau into VSA, a taxpayerfunded nonprofit that they say will be more “nimble” in going after major events and conventions.) Local leaders have been pretty unified in their opposition to Senate Bill 6, which would block transgender Texans from using the restroom that corresponds with their gender identity. It’s a bill predicated on the baseless, ginned-up fear that equal rights for transgender people would endanger women and young girls in public restrooms – a familiar narrative hard-right conservatives, like Patrick, spun in order to kill a non discrimination ordinance in Houston in 2015. Still, much of the opposition to the bill from city and business leaders has centered on the potential economic consequences of SB 6, which was scheduled to go before a senate on Tuesday. For San Antonio officials, it’s an easy argument for them to lean on. Consider North Carolina, where near-identical antitrans legislation triggered a NCAA boycott that cost the state somewhere between $77 million and $201 million in lost tourism. Many think that if Texas passes its version of the law, the NCAA will follow suit and pull the

ROMO’S ‘EMBRACE’

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CURRENT • March 8-14, 2017 • sacurrent.com

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NEWS

MICHAEL BARAJAS | @MICHAELSBARAJAS

PET PATROL

Don’t walk your dog off-leash in a Texas state park — a game warden might shoot and kill it

•

CATHY TOMSETT VIA FACEBOOK

woodrow

SNOWFLAKE GENERATION

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Cathy Tomsett says she was walking her year-old dog, a heeler-looking mix named Woodrow, in a state park along the Cibolo Creek northeast of San Antonio last week. In a message she eventually left on the Texas Parks and Wildlife Facebook page, Woodrow said it had “become an evening ritual to load up our dogs for a romp in the park.” She says they often encountered other walkers and dogs, which were always off-leash — despite a sign at the park that says, “All dogs must be leashed.” Tomsett suggests state park officials change that language to say “All dogs off leash will be shot on sight.” That’s because last Saturday, when Woodrow ran ahead of her, it spooked deputy game warden Javier Fuentes so much that he shot and killed the pet. “I’m not claiming to be a forensics expert, but it was clear my dog was shot from a distance, through the side, and although there was blood everywhere, Officer Fuentes didn’t have a drop on him,” Tomsett

event’s title: “What’s so great about America?” Some students provided their own answers, scrawled in colorful ink, and returned the leaflets to Wendt. “Immigrants.” “Public education.” “National parks.” “Women’s rights.” “The gays.” Wendt decided this was “harassment” and took the complaint to campus police. “This is a clear attempt at intimidation,” Wendt told the Express-News last week. The “harassment” at Trinity stands in stark contrast to what’s been happening on other university campuses across the state — like the anti-immigrant fliers calling for “vigilante squads” at Texas State ALEX ZIELINSKI | @ALEX_ZEE or the “affirmative action bake sale” sale protesting campus diversity standards at UT or the posters > Shortly after Trinity University student Jonah Wendt advertising a white supremacist group at Rice distributed some 600 event leaflets across campus University or the anti-interracial dating fliers spread housing, 288 reappeared in front of his own dorm around Southern Methodist University, just to name room door. a few. “Keep your propaganda to yourselves. We don’t As for the “harassment” that left Wendt so rattled like it in our faces,” a note read on top of the rubberhe went to the campus cops, no one has come out to banded stack of returned leaflets. Wendt had passed claim responsibility for the returned fliers. But whoever out the fliers to advertise an upcoming event — hosted did it didn’t seem that interested in hiding their identity. by his conservative student group, Tigers for Liberty — “I knocked but you weren’t here,” a post-it note stuck to featuring conservative filmmaker Dinesh D’Souza. The the stack read, possibly sign the sender was hoping for

Trinity conservatives file “harassment” claim against students who returned their event fliers

wrote in her message. “I was within 100 feet when he killed my dog.” According to the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, the game warden was patrolling the area and shot the dog out of fear he might be injured. As a Schertz police lieutenant who responded to the shooting told the Express-News, the game warden had been searching for poachers, ran across the dog chasing some deer — “That’s when the dog seemed to be aggressive towards him” — and then fired once. Tomsett clearly disagrees with that assessment, but says she won’t be filing a complaint against Fuentes. “He is the man with the gun and I know I could never win that battle,” she says. “However, TPWD might consider changing their sign at the trail head that reads ‘All dogs must be leashed’ to ‘All dogs off leash will be shot on sight.’ Another consideration might be to remove Officer Fuentes from duty in an urban, populated environment.”

an in-person conversation. “These leftist intimidation tactics will not phase us,” Wendt told conservative blog Campus Reform. “Once again liberals show how tolerant they are for ideas that are not their own.” D’Souza’s ideas, reflected in his 2016 documentary blaming slavery on Hillary Clinton and his arrest for making illegal campaign contributions, will still be shared at his campus event Wednesday. Wendt said he hopes this liberal “hissy fit” will only draw a bigger audience. Shortly after Wendt shared the returned fliers to Facebook, Trinity’s Dean of Students David Tuttle wrote a blog post applauding Tigers for Liberty for giving an alternative to the “echo chambers of one-dimensional thought” on college campuses. He ended on a somewhat confusing note. “It isn’t easy speaking up sometimes. But that’s what college discourse is all about,” he wrote. “It isn’t about free-speech zones (should be the whole campus), time-place-and-manner policies, hate-speech codes, and safe spaces. The last thing we need is to keep driving hate into the shadows.” Does that mean Trinity students should now expect campus hate to be displayed where everyone can see it?

sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 13

FEATURE

R E H C A TE ALEX NABAUM

CURRENT • March 8-14, 2017 • sacurrent.com

FEATURE

TR AP

WORDS BY

M E T S S R E K A M W A L S A X E T W IL L S R O T A C U D E F O E D I T G N I S I T HE R ? S T N E D U T S N O G N I Y E R P T C A UGH

JANE DOE

, as she’s known in court records, was brand new to Memorial High School when Edgewood Independent School District police officer Manuel Hernandez accosted the 13-year-old freshman. According to a federal lawsuit, Hernandez, a man in his mid-50s, watched the girl navigate the campus on security cameras each school day. Sometimes, he would detain her in his office just to grope her. The sexual rampage ramped up during Jane Doe’s sophomore year, according to the suit filed in December in San Antonio federal court. From August 2013 until his arrest in April 2014, another Edgewood employee, Memorial High chemistry teacher Marcus Revilla, forced Jane Doe into habitual sex, sodomy and molestation — more than 100 times, and all on school grounds, according to court documents. Revilla, who was approaching 45 years old at the time, also grabbed a camera and filmed homemade pornos with the child. Around winter break, officer Hernandez discovered Revilla’s sexual relationship with the girl, and threatened to stir up trouble with the law. He thought of an ultimatum: He’d keep his mouth shut if Jane Doe had sex with him. She did, twice. He didn’t say anything. Ultimately, Hernandez and Revilla started issuing hall passes to Jane Doe so that the middle-aged adults could continue their sexcapade during school hours. Several months later, Jane Doe became pregnant with Revilla’s child. During the 2015-2016 fiscal year (September 1 to August 31), the Texas Education Agency opened 222 inappropriate relationship cases across the state, all involving an educator and a student or minor – an all-time

record. While Alabama leads the nation in the amount of cases per capita, Texas is tops in the overall number of these criminal incidents. In Texas, an improper relationship between an educator and a student is a second-degree felony, a law that’s been on the books since 2003, and carries a penalty of two to 20 years in prison. Critics cite problems with the inappropriate relationship statute; for instance, the penal code only considers the relationship illegal if both the educator and student, who can be over 17 years old (the age of consent in Texas), are in the same school district. For the past seven fiscal years, there has been a steady rise in the volume of these cases – often blamed on the growth of social media, though there are no hard numbers to support the claim – as well as the gravity of the wrongdoings, especially in the San Antonio area. Lucinda Rodriguez Caldwell, a longtime teacher at Northside ISD’s Cable Elementary School, plea-bargained for a 10-year prison stint after repeated sexual encounters with a 12-year-old student. The incident boiled over after the boy’s father spotted Caldwell’s Ford Explorer outside of the family home at 3 a.m. and realized that the boy was inside the SUV with the teacher, a married mother of two who was 41 years old at the time of her November 2012 sentencing. That morning, Caldwell’s Ford Explorer sped off and the father pursued the vehicle for 30 miles. When San Antonio Police Department officers pulled over both cars, they found the 12-year-old behind the wheel of his teacher’s SUV. Caldwell, who could’ve faced life imprisonment if convicted on the original charge of aggravated sexual assault of a child, was given shock probation and released in May 2013 after serving six months on a charge of indecency

with a child by exposure. Bexar County records show that Caldwell still owed nearly $4,200 in fines as of last fall. In some instances, superintendents, principals, administrators and teachers look the other way, fearful of a scandal or a blow to their reputation. The Jane Doe suit – which names Memorial High, Edgewood ISD and Edgewood PD as defendants – contends that Memorial High principal Michael Rodriguez and Edgewood ISD superintendent José Cervantes flat-out ignored the red flags. Jane Doe’s lawyers say that the inappropriate relationships only came to light after SAPD, investigating another unrelated matter, found Jane Doe’s school ID and school-issued tablet in Revilla’s car. Currently, there are three pieces of “passing the trash” legislation pending in the 2017 Texas Legislature: Senate Bill 7, filed by Sen. Paul Bettencourt (R-Houston), Senate Bill 653, authored by Sen. Van Taylor (R-Plano), and House Bill 218, filed by Rep. Tony Dale (R-Cedar Park). The industry term refers to a school district that forces a teacher who has been accused of sexual misconduct to resign instead of reporting the alleged offense to Texas Child Protective Services, law enforcement or the TEA, which has the power to pull the teacher’s license. Due to the absence of federal and statewide registries, teachers who have been accused of sexual misconduct with one of their students can quietly move to another Texas school district – and not even in a different state – and score a classroom job. Just like that. “This is not simply just an urban versus rural or versus suburban [issue]. Everyone has a problem,” says Bettencourt. “It’s a statewide plague, quite frankly.” Unlike doctors and lawyers, there isn’t a national code sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 15

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FEATURE

SHUTTERSTOCK

tackle improper teacher-student relationships was signed into law by President Barack Obama in December 2015. Section 8546 of the Every Student Succeeds Act prohibits aiding and abetting sexual abuse in schools. “What that essentially means is that now every state must put in place similar policy regulation or legislation,” says Miller, who cites Pennsylvania’s and Connecticut’s pass-the-trash laws, together with the federal legislation, as the country’s most powerful defenses against improper educator-student relationships. “The community is in the dark about this issue and the issue will continue to be the epidemic that it is,” says Miller, who’s based in Nevada. “We’ve had nine teachers, just since January 1, [2016], in Las Vegas who have been arrested.”

IN JANUARY 201

of ethics for teachers, explains Terri Miller, president of the Las Vegas, Nevada-based Stop Educator Sexual Abuse Misconduct and Exploitation (S.E.S.A.M.E.). “The trash gets there in the first place because they’re not properly vetted or trained at the college level when they’re studying to become teachers… that’s a huge problem,” she says. When an educator sexually preys upon a primary or secondary school student and convinces the vulnerable minor that he’s madly in love with the student when all he wants is sex, irreparable damage is done to the child and child’s family. As Miller puts it, “The wounds are to the core.”

the third Judson High teacher facing child sex allegations within a two-month timespan. According to Texas Education Agency figures, statewide investigations into inappropriate relationships have increased by 80 percent since 2008. In the current fiscal year, from September 1, 2016 through January 31, TEA has already opened 97 new cases. TEA, which says that there hasn’t been a change in reporting requirements, had opened 68 cases at the same time last year. It has become such a problem that Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, as part of his top 10 legislative priorities ahead of the 2017 Texas Legislature, listed inappropriate educator-student relationships in the seventh spot, just after the so-called entered Jared Anderson’s home on an bathroom bill and before the controversial initiative arrest warrant in February 2016, they found a sign on a door requiring the burial or cremation of fetal remains. that read, “The last one to get naked has to get the first dare.” What’s driving the increase? Anderson, an English teacher at Judson High School in “Any answer I’m going to give is going to be speculation. Converse, was allegedly hosting multiple “bros night” sex We have a couple of theories, but we’re not sure, to be parties. Anderson, then-28-years-old and a group leader honest,” says Lauren Callahan, information specialist with at a local Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the Austin-based TEA. “We don’t collect data on how encouraged teenaged boys to get naked and perform sex our inappropriate relationships cases get started, but acts on each other. our director of educator investigations [Doug Phillips] Earlier in the school year, Anderson had been named would tell you that 99.9 percent of them have some sort of Judson’s “teacher of the year.” The award, immortalized in impetus in electronic media and social media.” rough-draft versions of the school’s 2016 yearbook, was “It is time for everyone involved to stop looking the other obviously stripped away. But somehow, misprinted versions way and stamp this problem out,” adds Sen. Bettencourt, of the yearbook made it into circulation, and school officials author of SB 7, which would automatically revoke a scrambled to 86 the erroneous copies showcasing teacher’s certificate if the offender receives deferred Anderson, who had been jailed on one felony count of adjudication for an educator misconduct offense or any indecency with a child and two felony counts for sexual offense requiring a teacher to register as a sex offender. performance of a child. According to Miller of S.E.S.A.M.E., a group founded It was yet another embarrassment for Judson ISD. in 1991 to thwart sexual exploitation and harassment of Anderson, who’s scheduled to stand trial on March 20, was students by educators, the first federal legislation to really

WHEN SAPD

, an SAPD officer, investigating an unrelated burglary call, stumbled upon something else: Maris Alexandra Gonzalez, a 23-year-old French instructor who taught at Madison and Churchill high schools, straddling one of her male students inside of a parked Mazda3. The car’s windows were fogged over. Gonzalez, who had been put on administrative leave by Northeast ISD a month before, confessed to the sexual relationship with the 15-year old. She eventually accepted a plea deal for five years deferred adjudication and paid a $2,000 fine. Gonzalez’s teaching license was forfeited, which seems like the no-duh thing to do. However, it’s not uncommon for a Texas teacher who has been accused of an improper relationship with a student to procure another teaching job in Texas. Between 2010 and 2016, according to a recent Austin-American Statesman investigation, at least six teachers, despite inappropriate relationship allegations, found educator jobs at another public, private or charter school in the state. (TEA doesn’t have the authority to monitor private and charter schools.) During that same time, the paper found that less than half of Texas teachers stripped of their teaching licenses due to allegations of improper relationships with students ever faced criminal charges, let alone served any jail time. Because TEA investigation data isn’t available to the general public – and because there isn’t a Texas teacher registry – there’s nothing in the public record for many, many of those cases. Sen. Van Taylor’s SB 653 would create a statewide registry of teachers, at a cost of $3 million, who have lost their teaching licenses due to a criminal conviction. Meanwhile, Bettencourt’s SB 7 would expand the scope of reporting requirements to include not only superintendents, but principals as well. If SB 7 is signed into law, a failure to report within seven calendar days will be deemed a criminal offense. If a superintendent or principal intentionally fail to report, they could be slapped with a state jail felony. The Texas Senate Committee on Education held hearings for SB 7 and SB 653 on February 23; the conversation among lawmakers hit a wall over the bills’ sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 17

MONET, MATISSE...AND EVERYONE IN BETWEEN

On view through June 4

This exhibition is organized by the Brooklyn Museum. Lead funding at the McNay is most generously given by the Elizabeth Huth Coates Charitable Foundation and The Brown Foundation, Inc. Additional support is provided by the Marcia and Otto Koehler Foundation, the Nathalie and Gladys Dalkowitz Charitable Trust, Frost Bank, The Joan and Herb Kelleher Charitable Foundation, the G.A.C. Halff Foundation, the Director’s Circle, and the Host Committee. Berthe Morisot, Madame Boursier and Her Daughter (detail), ca. 1873. Oil on canvas. Brooklyn Museum, Museum Collection Fund, 29.30. Photo: Sarah DeSantis, Brooklyn Museum

6000 North New Braunfels San Antonio, Texas 78209-0069 mcnayart.org

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CURRENT • March 8-14, 2017 • sacurrent.com

language and how best to exonerate the innocent, whose lives and careers could be ruined over a false accusation. At the time of writing, the bills were pending in committee. Each year, TEA, which can sanction or revoke a teacher’s teaching license, faces a tall order when tackling allegations of educator misconduct, whether it’s inappropriate relationships, abuse of school property or funds, or drug-related crimes. By the end of the 2015-2016 fiscal year, a staff-strapped educator investigation unit of seven members faced an overall cascade of 1,100 open investigations. That didn’t include the approximately 1,000 cases that TEA didn’t pursue because there weren’t enough facts to move forward. TEA has filed a legislative appropriations request for close to $400,000 for the 2018-2019 funding cycle in order to hire two additional full-time investigators and a staff assistant. “The number of cases overall have increased. Our staff certainly hasn’t increased to the same extent,” says TEA’s Callahan. TEA wouldn’t comment on the specifics of the pending legislation, but spoke to the Current about general policies they would like to see implemented. In addition to requiring all 1,200 of Texas’ public and charter school districts to adopt a local electronic/social media policy (some districts already do this, but it’s totally voluntary), TEA hopes for a change to the section of the Texas penal code related to improper educator-student relationships. Right now, the code only recognizes the relationship if both student and teacher are in the same school district. “This is just an example, but if you’re an educator in district A and you live in a massive sprawling area, and the student lives three streets over but goes to district B, the penal code doesn’t recognize that as an inappropriate relationship between an educator and a student,” says Callahan. “We do. And if we find out about it, we will open a case. But the penal code does not.”

OFTEN LOST IN THESE CASES

, which have surged in states all over the country, is the destruction to a child’s mental health. Rachel was a 15-year-old track star in a California high school when she says her coach first professed his love for her. “He said that if it was a different time and era, it would be ok,” she says. Rachel (not her actual name; she wished to remain anonymous due to her career) remembers spending “unhealthy” amounts of time with the coach. They had sex after practice in a shed behind the track field and on road trips to out-of-town meets. Other times, Rachel says the coach paid her to clean his parents’ house so that they could sneak off and have sex there, too. “I had no perspective of what sex and a relationship was. I was learning these things from him,” Rachel told the Current in a phone interview. “Is this love? A relationship? I didn’t know. I didn’t know I was being manipulated and used for his sexual gratification.” When Rachel went away to college, she realized that the

SHUTTERSTOCK

FEATURE

man was just using her for sex. She told her mom, who told a school counselor, who told the police, who recorded an incriminating phone call between Rachel and the coach, explains Rachel. “They didn’t want to put me on the [witness] stand. They said it would hurt me more so he plea bargained to a lesser crime that wasn’t a sex offense,” says Rachel. Rachel says that depositions collected by her lawyer revealed that the coach had sexual relations with three other underage students prior to Rachel. “They were reported to the school and they didn’t do anything. It was a good ol’ boy network,” says Rachel. “I went through all of the pain and confession. I wish they would’ve investigated more.” Rachel says the man continues to coach in California. Despite the nightmare, Rachel considers herself one of the lucky ones. “I’m still able to function and be productive,” she says. Others aren’t so fortunate, according to S.E.S.A.M.E.’s Miller. “Something that many of the survivors and parents that have contacted our organization have all admitted that they have either attempted suicide or we’re hearing from parents that their child did commit suicide over this issue,” she says. “It’s very common for me to hear from parents… that their child has a restraining order against them from contacting them. It’s a terrible wedge that’s shoved between the victim and their family and friends,” adds Miller. “Part of how the perpetrator maintains control is to isolate them and make them believe that they’re the only person in the world who cares about them and is looking after their best interest. All the while, they have devious ideas.” The road ahead is likely going to be brutal for Jane Doe, the Memorial High student impregnated by her chemistry

teacher, Revilla. He was sentenced to 17 years in federal prison with no parole on a charge of producing child pornography, and received a 13-year state prison sentence for aggravated sexual assault of a child. Former Edgewood ISD police officer Hernandez, who allegedly coerced Jane Doe into having sex with him, awaits a Bexar County court trial on an aggravated sexual assault charge. The thing is, according to Jane Doe’s family, the sexual abuses could’ve ended way sooner. Their December 2016 lawsuit, which seeks an undetermined amount of monetary damages to help the girl support her son, says that Memorial High principal Michael Rodriguez knew about the relationship for months and didn’t say a word. “Upon information and belief, Revilla’s conduct was never reported to law enforcement authorities by any Edgewood employee or official,” the lawsuit claims. Last March, Edgewood ISD, a long troubled district that has agonized over a litany of issues, succumbed to control by TEA’s Commissioner’s Office, which pulled off the rarer-than-rare maneuver of appointing its own board of managers to replace Edgewood’s inept board of trustees. Court documents state that after SAPD found Jane Doe’s belongings in Revilla’s stolen vehicle, Principal Rodriguez told Edgewood ISD superintendent Cervantes about Revilla’s conduct, which ended up sparking a Texas Rangers investigation. One of them told Edgewood ISD’s seven-member board about Revilla and the pregnant 14-year-old girl. Still, they did nothing. But that was apparently OK, because Revilla would soon be arrested and plead guilty to various federal and state crimes. In the end, justice was served. The San Antonio Police Department, the Texas Rangers, a U.S. federal judge and a Texas state judge took care of everything for them. sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 19

CALENDAR

OUR TOP PICKS FOR THE WEEK WED

A Night with Texas Poet Laureate Laurie Ann Guerrero

SARAH FOX

FRI

10 ART

‘Reflections on Landscape and Memory’

OCTOBER 27 20

state capitols, and he killed. His “ode” to the abnormal friendliness of the Trader Joe’s staff incorporates literary criticism of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to great effect, and his astonishment at the ludicrous wealth accumulated by Bill Gates includes the number of times you’d have to hit the Mega Millions to catch up and put Trump in his place nearly three years ago.

In the always-odd arena of paying to hear a person say stuff, Gulman’s gabbing is more valuable than most. He might not be able to fill an hour reading a phone book, but he could probably do twice that on phone books in general. $18.50, 8pm Thu, 8pm & 10:15pm Fri-Sat, Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805, lolsanantonio.com. — Jeremy Martin

THU-SAT

9-11

COMEDY

Gary Gulman

◀ Launched in 2012 as a Contemporary Art Month initiative that brings out-of-town curators to San Antonio to “give a fresh perspective on the local art scene through copious studio visits and a resulting curated exhibition,” the CAM Perennial generated a controversial buzz last year when the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center pulled out as host venue of an all-female show based specifically on a “lack of representation of Latina artists.” Organized by New Orleans-based curator Amy Mackie, the 2016 CAM Perennial dissolved into “Diversity and Inclusion in the Arts,” a panel discussion that brought together representatives from CAM, the Guadalupe, SA2020 and the City of San Antonio’s Office of Diversity and Inclusion … but arguably sparked as much controversy as it did conversation by neglecting to include a Latina panelist. While CAM has remained steadfast in the “no-strings-attached” freedom it offers the guest curators of the CAM Perennial, it’s a safe bet that a few of the organization’s critics will be pleasantly surprised by the group Miami-based Chris Ingalls assembled for “Reflections on Landscape and Memory.” Hosted by the Southwest School of Art, this latest edition of the CAM Perennial unites works by more than a dozen local artists — Ana Fernandez, Guillermina Zabala, Julia Barbosa Landois, Joe Harjo, Sarah Fox and Alejandro Augustine Padilla among them — plus the unveiling of Vertex, a site-specific performance installation created by Saintlorraine collaborators Britt Lorraine and Kristy Perez. Free, 6-8pm, Southwest School of Art, 1201 Navarro St., (210) 224-1848, contemporaryartmonth.com. — Bryan Rindfuss

NOVEMBER 24

CURRENT • March 8-14, 2017 • sacurrent.com

MARCH 11

MARCH 12

COURTESY OF GARY GULMAN

▶ Twenty-year standup vet Gary Gulman has put in double the Gladwell Hours (TM) required to call himself an expert in comedy — 10,000 hours times two. So much time spent talking — maybe too much for most — but odds are he spent most of them wisely, whatever the subject. Gulman used an entire Conan set to recommend a nonexistent movie about abbreviating

San Antonio poet Laurie Ann Guerrero will express and explore your intersectional Women’s History Month feelings at a reading at A&M University this week. A former Poet Laureate of the Alamo City and currently in the same role for the state, Guerrero is a native of the Southside and Literary Arts Director for the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center. She chooses her words carefully and you’ll be hanging on every one of them, as I was when I watched her TEDxSanAntonio presentation about what our city taught her. She doesn’t shy away from the good, the bad or the ugly. “The wide open space of the page,” she said, always offered her a place to explore and speak. “This [was] very important to little girl me, in a city divided by class, a neighborhood divided by race, and in school and a home divided by gender.” Her work is not only about expression, just as Women’s History Month is not only about remembering. Guerrero’s poetry is about activism and pushing toward further progress. “Exploring oneself, one’s community, one’s nation through the art of writing prods one to mindfulness and compassion,” she said. “It’s the kind of empowerment needed for change-making.” Join this “homegirl [who’s] ready to fight” for a reading, reception and book signing. Free (online registration required), 6-8pm, Texas A&M University–San Antonio, Patriots’ Casa, One University Way, (210) 784-1000, tamusa.edu/library. – Rachel Cooley

MARCH 24

MARCH 26

JOSE FIDEL SOTEIO

CALENDAR

WORDS

CALENDAR SPECIAL EVENT

10-12

KI Con

JOSE FIDEL SOTEIO

If you’re familiar with characters like Fulgore, a cyborg soldier armed with plasma blades, or Riptor, a genetically engineered velociraptor-human hybrid who spits acid, then there’s a good chance you were a teenager in 1994 when Killer Instinct rolled into your local arcade and demanded that you feed it all your quarters. Twenty-three years later, the franchise, which was rebooted by Microsoft Studios in 2013, is still so popular, instead of demanding all your loose change, it now commands its own exclusive gaming conference. Enter the inaugural KI Con, a three-day event featuring panels, gaming, concerts, contests, special guests (artists, game developers, voice actors), and a Killer Instinct World Cup tournament where the best players from around the globe compete for their share of $30,000. “Killer Instinct might not have been as popular as Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat, but it found an even more passionate cult audience that has set it apart as something special,” said Trey Hilburn, video game reviewer for iHorror.com and occasional Current contributor. “It’s one of the few games that is reliant on the fans’ love in order to keep it alive.” $25-$175, 9am Fri-Sun, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 2238624, tobincenter.org. — Kiko Martinez

SAT

‘Dreams Are for Those Who Sleep’

SAT Taxidermy mounts covered in shoes, largerthan-life garments plastered in dollar bills, conceptual neon signs and stylized bronze animal masks are among the unusual hallmarks in the work of Ken Little, a nationally recognized artist who teaches at the University of Texas at San Antonio and graces the local music scene with his colorful projects Rodeo Ho Ho and the Swingbillies. A native of Canyon who grew up hand-painting china with his grandmother and dreamed of working for Walt Disney, Little uses his mastery with an array of materials to challenge the confines of sculpture with a refreshing dose of wit. Writing the foreword for his cheekily titled 2003 retrospective “Little Changes,” Southwest School of Art president Paula Owen hailed Little as “one of the true crossover artists” based on his “intertwining of precepts from both art and craft history and practice.” Adding to an impressive list of 40-plus solo shows, the beloved visual artist, vocalist and guitarist sets up shop at Dock Space Gallery for “Buck (passing)” — an exhibition likely to emphasize his signature spin on creatures great and small. Free, 7-10pm, Dock Space Gallery, 107 Lone Star Blvd., (210) 723-3048, dockspacegallery.com. — BR ART

KEN LITTLE

FRI-SUN

‘Buck (passing)’

ART For San Antonio artist Jose Fidel Sotelo, art is an important means of self-exploration and a tool for cultural excavation, for pursuing balance and peace, and for appreciating the beauty in the everyday. Heavily influenced by his studies in design and photography, Sotelo started painting in 2009 with an eye for sharp, crisp images/lines and a penchant for burying complexity within simplicity. His latest exhibit, entitled “Dreams Are for Those Who Sleep,”

departs a bit from his recent work that has alternated between vivid color and stark black-and-white precision. This exhibit, which explores “the meditative quality of repetitive symbolic imagery,” consists of large-scale graphite drawings that delve deep into Sotelo’s dreamscapes as well as images from Aztec mythology. Free, 7-10pm, Provenance Gallery, 1906 S. Flores St., (210) 216-8362, artandprovenance. blogspot.com. — James Courtney

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CURRENT • March 8-14, 2017 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

SAT

COMEDY

Rodney Carrington

SAT

JOSH HUSKIN

‘Lujuria’

Launched in 2013 by San Antonio artist/ curator Sarah Castillo as a means to support the professional development of women and LGBTQIA artists, Lady Base Gallery continues its tradition of staging thoughtprovoking pop-up exhibitions with a Contemporary Art Month showcase for San Antoniobased Michael Martinez. A native Texan who earned a BFA in intermedia from the Pacific Northwest College of Art, Martinez has exhibited work in Portland, Oregon; Belgrade, Serbia; and more recently back home in San Antonio. Teaming up with his older brother Mark Anthony to address timely topics (from race and identity to gender expression and homophobia) for the Bihl Haus Arts show “Profiling Made Visible,” Martinez hit a memorable note with Aztec Gender Swap, a video piece appropriating Jesús Helguera’s iconic painting The Legend of Iztaccíhuatl and Popocatépetl as a means to address “the erasure of queer presence from the cultural narrative of Chicanismo.” Partnering with AP Art Lab and Viva Vegería, Lady Base shines a light on Martinez’s “Lujuria,” an exhibition of videos displayed on old computer monitors. With cinematic titles such as League of God-Like Bionic Titans, Martinez’s new works employ “the language of ’80s action movies” to explore the pressures of coming out and articulate “a lust for life, freedom and respect.” Free, 7-10pm, AP Art Lab, 1906 S. Flores St., (210) 705-2332, contemporaryartmonth.com. — BR

SPORTS

ART

Spurs vs. Warriors

◀ The Golden State Warriors make the first of two stops in San Antonio this month on Saturday night for a nationally televised, primetime showdown with the Spurs. Kawhi Leonard and company opened the regular season in Oakland with a thorough 29-point drubbing of the new-look Warriors, in which Leonard poured in 35 points. With the Splash Brothers still in the fold, Golden State boasts the league’s best record and remains the prohibitive favorite to claim another NBA title. Leonard may be the reigning Defensive Player of the Year, but he can only guard one Warrior at a time. For San Antonio to continue to compete, LaMarcus Aldridge and Juice Unit stalwarts Manu Ginobili, Patty Mills and Jonathon Simmons must impact the game. $132-$2,106, 7:30pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center Pkwy., (210) 444-5000, attcenter.com. — M. Solis

MON OM

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MUSIC

MICHE L E P

AC CIONE / S

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TOC

MICHAEL MARTINEZ

COURTESY OF RODNEY CARRINGTON

◀ Dear Rodney Carrington’s Penis: It’s been 18 years since your Longview-native owner/ proprietor/operator first began corresponding with you in his song, “Letter to My Penis,” and in the time between, the two of you have had your (ahem) ups and downs. Or, at least, he has. Carrington included the letter on a platinum-selling greatest hits album, spent two seasons starring in the ABC sitcom Rodney, and appeared alongside singer Toby Keith in 2008’s Beer for My Horses. While you, well, “You used to watch me shave / now all you do is stare at the floor,” Carrington orignally lamented on his tellingly titled 1998 debut, Hangin’ with Rodney. If the title track of 2000’s certified-gold follow-up Morning Wood is any indication, your relationship has improved significantly since Carington first put paper to pen, then put the paper down his pants, but if that’s true, why haven’t we heard from you since your terse reply to Rodney all those years ago? Sigh. Nobody writes letters anymore. $44.75-$179.75, 7pm, The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — JM

Purple Rain Live

◀ At this point, Youth Orchestras of San Antonio’s (YOSA) fantastic, collaborative tribute shows are becoming something of a can’t-miss local tradition. Having wowed audiences over the past few years with Abbey Road Live, OK Computer Live, and Remembering Bowie, YOSA now turns its attention, and its estimable musical prowess, to the one who reigns eternally in purple: Prince. And, as in the past, YOSA, led with immense alacrity and infectious aplomb by director Troy Peters, has recruited the help of some of San Antonio’s finest musical acts. This special, one-off show, billed as Purple Rain Live, will find YOSA and company presenting the entirety of Prince’s 1984 opus Purple Rain. Participating artists include Alyson Alonzo, Bright Like the Sun, Nina Diaz, fishermen, the Foreign Arm, Future Sailor, Mariachi Campanas de America and Nothing Chief, among others. $22.50$70, 8pm, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org. — JC

sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 23

CURRENT • March 8-14, 2017 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR

ART Art opening: “Art in Spaces” PSW Real

Estate observes Contemporary Art Month by turning one of their model homes into a pop-up gallery showcasing works by Katy Silva, Abraham Vasquez, Melissa Sanchez Ochoa, Eric Robert Morse, Garcia Art Glass, Lida Steves, Max Woodward and Paula Lorena Perez. Free, 8-11pm Friday; Olmos Park Model Home, 342 E. Olmos Drive, (210) 274-4114.

Art opening: “Del Corazón” University of

the Incarnate Word highlights the work of Joe Lopez, a revered local artist and gallerist whose paintings reveal a deep emotional compassion for the Chicano working class. Free, 6-8pm Friday; University of the Incarnate Word, Kelso Art Center, Semmes Gallery, 4301 Broadway, (210) 829-6000.

Art opening: “Deviation: Artistic Expression & Actualization” Mixed-

media artists Zach Espinoza, Robert Mata and Caroline Adam, photographer Vincent Gonzalez and musicians George Garza Jr., Polly Anna and Matt Canning come together for “a night of creative wonderment.” Free, 6pm-midnight Saturday; Brick, 108 Blue Star, (210) 262-8653.

Art opening: “Into the Void” In response

to uncertain times spiked with “race-based tensions, social inequalities, wars, and a general lack of humanity,” artist Eric Breish unveils a series of three-dimensional paintings at a reception with light bites, wine and live music by Antique Sunlight and Coyote Sings. Free, 5-8pm Thursday; AnArte Gallery, 7959 Broadway, (210) 826-5674.

Art opening: “Museum of Pocket Art”

in the Dark — costumes encouraged. Free, 7pm-midnight Friday; Brick, 108 Blue Star, (210) 262-8653.

Art opening: “Sister Solidrity Art Show” Genevieve Xanthe Alvarado,

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Alice Canestraro, Suzy González, Esther Guajardo, Lisa Nigro, Carmen Peña and Katherine Torres join creative forces for this second annual show celebrating the bonds of sisterhood and the power of mujeres. Following the reception, stick around for “Plunge,” a fashion show highlighting designer Jennifer Monrreal. Free, 5-8pm Saturday; Movement Gallery, 1412 E. Commerce St., (210) 299-2666.

Art opening: “Spatial Fragments”

Uniting San Antonio artists Sara Corley Martinez and Sarah Lawrence, Mantle Art Space’s CAM offering “Spatial Fragments” seeks to “strike a balance between the micro and the macro, the cosmos and earthly plane.” Free, 6-9pm Saturday; Mantle Art Space, 714 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 971-4740.

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Art opening: “Sweet Sixteen” Beloved

indie art space FL!GHT celebrates 16 years of breaking the mold with a sprawling group show featuring works by Alex Rubio, Jake Zollie Harper, Jesse Amado, Nate Cassie, Ethel Shipton, Amada Claire Miller, Thomas Cummins, Lloyd Walsh, James Smolleck, Gary Sweeney, Raygun Johns and many more. Free, 6-9pm Thursday; FL!GHT Gallery, 134 Blue Star, (210) 872-2586.

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“The Texas Missions and Churches of Roberto Cardinale” A former president

of the San Antonio Art Institute who now calls Santa Fe home, sculptor Roberto Cardinale explores the critical role missions and churches played in the development of Texas. $5-$10, 9am-5pm WednesdaySaturday, noon-5pm Sunday, 9am-5pm Monday-Tuesday; Institute of Texan Cultures, 801 E. César Chávez Blvd., (210) 458-2300.

Based on an idea that everyone should carry a small artwork in their pocket to enrich their day and share with others, the longrunning Museum of Pocket Art pops up for a Contemporary Art Month event in which MoPA director/curator Roberto Jackson FILM Harrington will be circulating throughout the Lone Star Arts District armed with works Back to the Future Slab Cinema hosts a free by Gil Rocha-Rochelli, a Laredo-based artist outdoor screening of Robert Zemeckis’ 1985 who embellishes fabric with vivid colors and sci-fi comedy following high school student tangled forms. Free, 7-11pm Saturday; Lone Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) as he’s sent 30 Star Art District, 107 Lone Star Blvd. years into the past by his friend and mentor Dr. Emmett “Doc” Brown (Christopher Art opening: Ro-Matúm A first generation Lloyd). Free, 6:30pm Saturday; Hemisfair mainland Puerto Rican now based in Park, 434 S. Alamo St., (210) 709-4750. San Antonio, artist Martín C. Rodríguez creatively connects with his Taino Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind heritage for “Ro-Matúm,” an exhibition Cinema on the Rocks returns to Edwards of multidisciplinary works. Free, 7-11pm Ridge for a free screening of Michel Gondry’s Saturday; Dorćol Distilling Company, 1902 surreal dramedy starring Jim Carrey and S. Flores St., (210) 630-0235. Kate Winslet as soured partners who have their memories erased. The screening also Art opening: “Scary Stories to Tell in includes a local short and food truck fare for the Art” Vidvad Scare curates a “very purchase. Free, 7:30-10:30pm Wednesday; dark, lush” exhibition inspired by Stephen Edwards Ridge Distillery, 16104 University Gammell’s unsettling illustrations for the Oak, (210) 802-7864. children’s book series Scary Stories to Tell

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Girlie Night: 9 to 5 Movie Party In

conjunction with its celebration of Colossal Women, the Drafthouse revives director Colin Higgins’ 1980 office dramedy starring Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin as co-workers who find an outlandish remedy to the sexual harassment and discrimination imposed by their “sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot” boss, Franklin Hart (Dabney Coleman). $16.50, 7:30pm Monday; Alamo Drafthouse Park North, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 677-8500.

Message to the People: A Story of Malcolm X When local cultural activist

Aundar Martin decided last year that he wanted to present his message of “black pride, self-reliance and human rights” through the art of cinema, he decided to adapt his 2011 stage play Message to the People: A Story of Malcolm X into an independent film. Martin, who organizes and hosts cultural festivals and events around the city, including the Kwanzaa Market Festival and the Pan-African Festival, portrays the late Muslim minister and human rights activist in both the play and the new film. $10, 7-10pm Sunday; Alamo Drafthouse Park North, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 560-1733.

Rabbit-Proof Fence Slab Cinema and

SAMA’s Film on the Green series highlights Australian director Phillip Noyce’s 2002 drama following three girls as they spend nine weeks walking 1,500 miles to return to their Aboriginal community while being pursued by white law enforcement authorities. Free (cash bar), 6:30pm Tuesday; San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave., (210) 978-8100.

Violación de un Sueño (Rape on the Night Shift) The Esperanza hosts a

assault and abuse. Free, 5-8pm Friday; Esperanza Peace & Justice Center, 922 San Pedro, (210) 228-0201.

THEATER Beautiful: The Carole King Musical

Broadway in San Antonio presents the Tony- and Grammy-winning true story of Carole King’s remarkable rise to stardom, from being part of a hit songwriting team with her husband Gerry Goffin, to her relationship with fellow writers and best friends Cynthia Weil and Barry Mann, to becoming one of the most successful solo acts in popular music history. $45-$163, 7:30pm Tuesday; The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333.

Seven-Card Stud Richard David Anthony

directs Gregg Barrios’ new play surrounding brothers Johnny and Pancho Rodriguez and their relationship with playwright and gay icon Tennessee Williams. $10-15, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 7pm Sunday; The Overtime Theater, 1203 Camden St., (210) 557-7562.

SPECIAL EVENTS Fifty Shades Male Revue Designed

“exclusively just for women,” Alpha Male Promotions’ beefcake bonanza promises a “fast-paced performance that meets every female fantasy.” $30, 8pm Thursday; Cowboys Dancehall, 3030 NE Loop 410, (210) 646-9378.

“The Game of the Century: Crowdsourcing the Climate Crisis”

2020 or Bust executive director Laughlin Artz sheds light on climate change and how every person can take action and reduce their carbon footprint. Free, 3:304:45pm Thursday; UTSA Main Campus, University Center, Bexar Room, One UTSA Circle, (210) 458-4011.

screening of the Univision documentary investigating how sexual violence against The Price Is Right Live! A touring spectacle custodians often goes unreported and inspired by TV’s longest-running game unpunished. Viewers should be advised show, The Price Is Right Live! is the hit that the film contains triggering or sensitive interactive stage show that gives eligible material related to sexual violence, sexual individuals the chance to “come on down” to win prizes, including appliances, vacations and possibly a new car! $26.50$56.50, 7:30pm Wednesday; Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624.

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Warship Issue Two Zine Release

Warship draws creative inspiration from Canadian filmmaker David Cronenberg (aka the Baron of Blood) for a themed zine release complete with a screening of the 1986 classic The Fly (7:30pm), varied vendors, food for purchase from Mama Tierra and live music by Rivers Want and Star Fighter Dreams (9:30pm). Free, 7pm-midnight Thursday; Brick, 108 Blue Star, (210) 262-8653.

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CURRENT • March 8-14, 2017 • sacurrent.com

ARTS + CULTURE

David Almaguer, Recollections

Homage

$3-$5 // noon-8pm Thu, noon-6pm Fri-Sun // Blue Star Contemporary // 116 Blue Star // (210) 227-6960 // bluestarart.org // Through May 7

PHOTOS BY MARI HERNANDEZ

•

BACK TO THE FUTURE Contemporary interpretations of 1980s art in Blue Star’s ‘Homage’ DAN R. GODDARD

•

David Almaguer, The Bath

With “Homage,” Blue Star Contemporary celebrates its 30-year history as the first and longest-running space purely dedicated to contemporary art in San Antonio. Looking back, director Mary Heathcott invited seven local artists to create new works inspired by pieces in the original 1986 exhibit that ignited an explosion of artist-run DIY galleries, First Friday art walks and the equally longrunning Contemporary Art Month. Selected “Homage” participants had only the titles, names of the artists and lists of materials to work with rather than photographs of the actual works. Some of the pieces can be glimpsed in a montage of photographs from the original installation presented on one wall of Blue Star’s Main Gallery. The photos provide some sense of the excitement that pivotal exhibition

aroused, complete with 1980s fashions and large-scale paintings and sculpture installed in the rather ragged interior of the freshly spruced-up warehouse. The bottom half of James Cobb’s The Bath (1985), depicting the legs of a man floating in a bathtub, can be seen in the wall montage, but David Almaguer’s The Bath (2017) presents a man sunk into an easy chair and holding a remote, soaking in the blue glow of a TV screen. Almaguer’s large-scale aerosol mural Recollections pays homage to his childhood memories of 1980s movies such as Terminator and Batman along with a nostalgic nod to VHS tapes, the pre-digital liberator from network TV schedules. Ed Saavedra composed an emotional response to Gary Schafter’s Draw What You Feel (1986) by recalling a recent experience he had riding along San Pedro

Avenue and seeing a “young man naked as a jaybird” being pursued by police, grateful the “swashbuckling nudist” wasn’t shot. He illustrated what he saw in a small, funny octagonal painting, but he also used headlines generated by police misbehavior to create his sobering Yanaguana Mandala (2016). Holly Moe pioneered a decidedly lowtech technique, cigarette burns on low-pile carpet, to create her mysterious domestic interiors, such as the shadowy Midnight (1986), that were often displayed on the floor. Michele Monseau goes high-tech with her digital video projection, Midnight, coming down (2017), which uses “deconstructed yarn” as a background in an image of a setting sun slowly fading to a couple walking away into the night, while the soundtrack features a match striking to light a cigarette. Moe’s influence extended

sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 29

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ARTS + CULTURE

•

Joe Harjo, The Unforeseen Memory of Abundant Life (left) and Ed Saavedra, Draw What You Feel (after Gary Schafter, 1986)

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beyond the visual art community as a proprietor of the Bone Club, a “home away from home for San Antonio’s lonesome punks and misfits.” Kathy Vargas, who now chairs the art department at the University of the Incarnate Word, created soft-focus, abstract black-and-white photographic momento mori in a series titled with the abrupt command to Discard This Image. Anthony Rundblade transforms this directive into an either/or choice by running a red stripe down the middle of his photo collages using images from medical books. Kent Rush, a longtime art professor at the University of Texas at San Antonio who had a 46-year retrospective last fall at REM Gallery, generally doesn’t give titles to his abstract images of urban detritus. But this gave Jennifer Khoshbin the freedom to go off into an entirely realistic — though somewhat surreal — direction with her richly detailed graphite drawings and cut book collages of children wearing animal masks escaping from machines, asphalt, oil, automobiles

and other perils of the modern age in Untitled (and Un/Safe) (2017). Danville Chadbourne is known for his lengthy, lyrical, philosophical titles for his abstract ceramic, wood and found-object sculptures that often seem like lost artifacts of a forgotten civilization. While sharing the same title from Chadbourne’s 1985-86 acrylic on earthenware and concrete piece, Joe Harjo tackles the political debates of the Trump era in his 2017 screen-print The Unforeseen Memory of Abundant Life, which, sadly, may serve as a momento mori for what’s being lost after decades of liberal democracy. The poster’s tagline may read “Count Your Lucky Stars,” but how much longer will we be able to count on such progressive “prizes” as reproductive rights, affordable healthcare, income equality and NEA/ NEH grants? Thirty years on, San Antonio artists remain at the forefront of the city’s progressive vanguard, but the forces of ignorance, superstition and fear seem to be pushing back harder than ever.

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CULTURE

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SCREENS

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SHORT STORIES

PIERSON HAWKINS

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DEMAR GUNTER

Meet the high school filmmakers representing SA at SXSW

•

From top to bottom: Chroma, Split Ends, Limbo

> Three local high school students will be screening their short films at the 2017 South by Southwest Film Festival in Austin during the Texas High School Shorts Competition. Making it to SXSW was a goal they had each set for themselves since they started studying cinema as underclassmen. Pierson Hawkins, 18, a senior at North East School of the Arts, isn’t very interested in becoming the next big Hollywood director making blockbuster movies. He’d rather join the indie film scene like some of his favorite filmmakers, including Mark and Jay Duplass (Cyrus) and Richard Linklater ( Boyhood). “Mark Duplass has said being restricted by budget and locations and actors actually drives the creative process,” said Hawkins. “I’d rather do that than having millions of dollars to spend on whatever you need.” In his short experimental film Limbo, Hawkins explores the idea of “insanity through isolation” and “how loneliness … can drive people crazy.” During the short, a young man contemplates his existence as original music in the vein of composer Thomas Newman ( Revolutionary Road), written and performed by Hawkins’ schoolmate Victoria Acuña, veils the film in sorrow. “It was really important for me to exercise visual storytelling rather than rely on exposition or dialogue,” said Hawkins. “I’ve always been intrigued by film and how it can make someone feel.” After graduating, Hawkins hopes to continue filmmaking at a college like the University of Texas at Austin or the University of Southern California and collaborate with musicians on music videos. Also premiering her experimental short film this year at SXSW is Miranda Potter, 17, a junior at Saint Mary’s Hall. She considers herself a natural-born storyteller. “Both my parents have said that I’ve always been telling stories, since I was little,” said Potter, who also identifies Linklater as one of her favorite directors. “I think film is a really personal thing and a very relatable medium.”

In Split Ends, Potter wanted to find a way to “destigmatize female body hair” and show how beautiful a female body can be in its natural form. Potter does this through the use of stop motion animation techniques and transparent images. “I’m not trying to tell women not to shave at all, but it’s their choice,” said Potter. “You can choose how you want to present yourself.” In the future, Potter looks forward to making more animated films, somewhere in the range of Linklater’s A Scanner Darkly and Waking Life. Saint Mary’s Hall will also be represented by senior Demar Gunter, 17. She will be screening her mostly black-and-white short film Chroma. The narrative follows a young girl, living under the rule of a totalitarian government, who is told she might be the answer to obtaining an anecdote to cure the world’s colorblindness. Although she admits she fell into filmmaking by accident her freshman year when classes for other arts electives filled up, she quickly recognized cinema was something that brought the best out of her. “I never really thought I could be creative until I started making films,” said Gunter. “You can do a lot of different art when you make films — photography, storytelling, visual art and music. When I realized how encompassing it was, I really wanted to stay with it.” In the fall, Gunter plans to double major or minor in film at one of the eight colleges she’s been accepted to, which include the University of Texas at Austin, Baylor and Texas A&M. “I think film is a medium that can have the most impact on someone,” said Gunter. “It’s a great way to express yourself in a really radical way.” Limbo, Split Ends and Chroma will screen Saturday, March 11 at 5:30pm at the Vimeo Theater inside the Austin Convention Center (500 E. César Chávez St.) and Saturday, March 18 at 2pm at the Alamo Drafthouse Lamar (1120 S. Lamar Blvd.). For details, visit sxsw.com/ festivals/film.

sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 33

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FOOD

FOOD COURT

Battalion and NOLA Brunch & Beignets open, and Dady heads to Food Network JESSICA ELIZARRARAS | @JESSELIZARRARAS

Battalion Is Southtown’s Newest Hot Spot

1. It’s hard not to get swept away by the lighting. After designing Feast (which is dimly lit) and Rebelle (even darker), Andrew Goodman said let there be light! Don’t get too excited; the space is still very intimate, but guests won’t be straining to see their dish. The chandeliers are a nice touch, and the spotlight that welcomes you while you ascend the staircase to the dining room lets you know you’re in for a treat. With cursed Daylight Savings around the corner, the lighting inside the eatery will only get better. 2. The ambience. Perhaps I’ve seen one too many episodes of Law & Order: SVU when Olivia Benson investigates artsy and tasteful sex dungeons/swingers clubs/et al.; or maybe hate-watching 50 Shades Darker has spurred my imagination to a ridiculous point ... but the notes of red and black and long-stemmed crimson roses give Battalion a sultry ambience. It’s date night. It’s girls night (to gossip about Tinder/Bumble escapades/fumbles). It’s sexy sex, Fire Engine Red hot, and it works surprisingly well. 3. The view cannot be beat. Other than being inside the actual Tower of the Americas where diners can survey their kingdom and make ad hoc Lion King jokes, Battalion has one of the best views of the city. All north side-facing tables come paired with this view. 4. Though we skipped out on the house cocktails (for now), we dabbled in the Battalion Spritz, available in Campari and other liqueurs. I asked for an Aperol and both will likely be staples come summertime. Hopefully

5. It wouldn’t be quite fair to review Battalion’s fare after just more than 24 hours of it opening, but Bowers and his crew (Ezekiel Cavazos and Jacob Gonzales, formerly with Feast and Rebelle, are executive chef and sous, respectively) set a high bar for themselves as is. The menu is varied, and can accommodate most budgets (whether you’re there for snacks or every item along with wine service). The 10 various $10 pastas are worth exploring. We sampled a pillowy, garlicky house-made ricotta gnudi in a pool of Sicilian tomato pesto and the fun Trenne (triangular penne!) Bombay loaded with pancetta bites in a sauce of cream, tomato, gin and dill pollen. The roasted cauliflower solidified my love of this highly underrated Jason and versatile veggie. Excited to try to make my Dady way through the menu and soon.

•

6. Southtown/Lavaca denizens filled the dining room, and even a certain beloved coach had to make it in for opening night. Remember to do the right thing and put in those reservations. Trying to get into Battalion might prove more difficult as people realize we’ve got a real winner in our midst. 604 S. Alamo St., (210) 816-0088.

Going to NOLA

> NOLA Brunch & Beignets the third concept by chef Pieter Sypesteyn opened Tuesday with brunch and other breakfast favorites with a Nawlins twist all day. The eatery will feature 15 entrée items along with a few a la carte offerings, and bloody mary and mimosa set-ups for purchase (the restaurant is BYOB). The bright teal house will now hold up to 49 people, so get there early or be prepared for a wait. A recent preview night featured early takes on the stuffed beignets, a killer pain perdu with orange marmalade, and a shrimp-filled tortilla Española with Zapps chips. The grillades and grits will be available with optional egg or fried oyster add ons. 111 Kings Ct., (210) 320-1572.

EXP E R I ENCE

P EARL

Jason Dady Will Compete in Food Network’s Iron Chef Gauntlet

> Since going off the air in 2013, Iron Chef America has left a void in viewers hearts who’ve had to watch more Guy Fieri shows than anyone honestly should. Iron Chef was one of the only reasons to watch the Food Network with its fast-paced execution and high-stakes energy. Well, kitchen stadium is back in action and one of San Antonio’s own is going to enter the — GET THIS — Iron Chef Gauntlet. Jason Dady, of The Jason FO Dady Restaurant Group, which includes Tre Trattoria, Tre Enoteca, Two Bros. BBQ Market, Shuck Shack and The Bin, will compete when the show premieres Sunday, April 16 at 8 p.m. Central. Per the Food Network blog announcing the return of the show, the Iron Chef Gauntlet will go down thusly: “After five weeks of Chairman’s Challenges, judged by Kitchen Stadium guru Alton Brown, and all-or-nothing Secret Ingredient Showdowns, the last chef standing will enter a three-ringed gauntlet. It’s in that pressure-packed finale that the remaining challenger will put his or her culinary skills on the line and battle not one, not two, but three Iron Chefs — Bobby Flay, Masaharu Morimoto and Michael Symon — with as many Secret Ingredients” Dady, who turned 40 last fall, will compete with Nyesha Arrington (Los Angeles, California, Executive Chef/Owner, Leona); Sarah Grueneberg (Chicago, Illinois, Executive Chef/Owner, Monteverde); Michael Gulotta (New Orleans, Louisiana, Executive Chef/Owner, MOPHO); Stephanie Izard of Top Chef fame (Chicago, Illinois, Executive Chef/Owner, Girl & the Goat); Shota Nakajima (Seattle, Washington, Executive Chef/Owner, Adana) and Jonathon Sawyer (Cleveland, Ohio, Executive Chef/Owner, The Greenhouse Tavern). RK TWO NE OD

> Other cliche puns I could have used: Third Time’s the Charm for Southtown Restaurant Group, Battalion Was LIT, I Went to Opening Night at Battalion and Didn’t See a Single Hot Firefighter... Jokes aside, I’m going to try to refrain from gushing over last night’s experience at Battalion, the third restaurant from Andrew Goodman and Stefan Bowers, which opened inside a renovated firehouse. But here are some first impressions from night one:

Battalion’s patio will be ready for whiling away an afternoon pretending I’m at a quaint Italian villa.

Send food- and nightlife-related events and news to flavor@sacurrent.com.

local flavor since 1883 sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 35

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MARKET TRIP South American cooking inspired by a visit to Tienda Centro America

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San Antonio — a city with close culinary and cultural ties to Mexico and Central America — is slowly expanding its mercados to include the rich ingredients and dishes found across South America. Tienda Centro America is a delicious hybrid — half-restaurant, half-mini-mart — that celebrates the foods found in countries throughout the South and Central Americas and recently relocated from its former digs at the opposite end of the block. Tienda is not a place to hurriedly shop and eat, especially on your first visit. This is a space where family and friends come to eat, laugh, gossip with the cashier, linger at tables, and occasionally look up at TVs to check out the fùtbol matches. Call at least 20 minutes in advance to place an order for pick-up, or prepare to wait. If you’re just walking through the door, ask for a menu and order carne asada (or meat of choice) to-go. Tell the cashier that you will pay for your groceries and order together; grab a basket, and make a sharp left to pick up fresh onions, red and green bell peppers, cilantro, parsley, two cloves of garlic, and a couple of platanos. Look for the refrigerated case mysteriously labeled “Sandwiches,” and pick up a couple of containers of dulce de leche. Attempt to ignore the aisles of conchas and palmiers, and head toward the money order counter, where you can pick up several packages of sugar cookies, located to the right of the counter. Turn around and walk to the standing shelf for oregano, tomato paste, comino, salt, red pepper flakes, and black pepper. Products are often rotated throughout the store, so ask the cashier to point out the ingredients if you can’t find them. Look to the freezers on your left and pick up several packages of GOYA’s discos para empanadas (six discs per

package), or explore cheeses from Honduras, Guatemala, El Salvador. Keep walking along the coolers to check out their extensive soda collection, which includes everything from Jarritos and Micoco to Mexican Coke and Tropi-Cola. If you have extra time, stop by the back shelves for new veladoras, varieties of pasta and flour from Columbia and Peru, and an odd collection of fùtbol jerseys and cleaning supplies (sorry, no Fabuloso). Pick up the nearby small bottles of vegetable oil and red wine vinegar. Your to-go order should be ready by now; head to the register to pay for your groceries, and make any final impulse buys (looking for a new bed sheet set?) before you head home. Don’t put anything away in the fridge; allow the ingredients to come to room temperature. Chimichurri: In a blender, add garlic, 2 tablespoons of chopped onion, ½ cup of oil, ¼ cup of vinegar, ½ teaspoon of black pepper, ½ teaspoon of red pepper flakes, 2 tablespoons of oregano, ½ cup of lightly packed cilantro, ¼ teaspoon of salt, and 1 lightly packed cup of chopped parsley and blend until well-chopped. Cover and leave out until ready to use. Empanadas can be found in nearly every Spanishspeaking country, but in Argentina, they are served with a savory chimichurri sauce. First, dice onion and bell peppers and place to the side. Chop the meat into smaller, cubed pieces and add to a bowl with 2 tablespoons of tomato paste, chopped peppers and 1 tablespoon of onion. In a saucepan with oil over medium heat, cook the meat mixture for about three minutes; remove from heat, add ½ teaspoon of comino and mix the ingredients. Allow filling to cool slightly, before storing in the fridge. Remove the discs from the package and allow dough to thaw; separate the discs and roll the discs to slightly

spread out the dough. Spoon 2-3 tablespoons of the cooled filling in the center of each disc. Using water, wet the outer half of each disc before folding over dough and crimping the edges with the tongs of a fork. Place empanadas in a pan with oil over medium heat; cook both sides of the empanadas until golden brown. Allow the empanadas to rest at least five minutes before you eat them; serve with chimichurri or your favorite hot sauce. Plantains are a delicious, healthy and versatile food that can be found in many South American countries, including Argentina. We are going to peel, thinly slice, and remove nearly all nutritional value when we fry these in hot oil. Place in a pan with oil over medium-high heat and fry between one and three minutes, until evenly browned and tender. Looking for a healthier option? Arrange sliced plantains in even rows on a covered baking sheet, and bake at 375 degrees for 15-25 minutes; flip plantains halfway through the total baking time. Remove the plantains from heat, and sprinkle with the desired amount of salt. Allow them to cool before serving, or quickly eat them before anyone else realizes there are incredible plantain chips lying around. Alfajores are soft, buttery cookies that remain a sweet favorite among Argentinians. These cookies are way easier to make. First, remove the sugar cookies from the packages. Using a spoon, scoop the dulce de leche and spread generously on the bottom of a single cookie; line up with another cookie to form a sandwich. Serve alfajores with coffee, and nod politely as your guests admire your culinary know-how and flawless technique. Show off your new bed set, and remember that thriftiness and resourcefulness will translate anywhere. 3915 San Pedro Ave., (210) 733-8951. sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 37

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10141 Wurzbach, San Antonio, Texas 78230 • (210) 877-2100 wurzbachicehouse.com • Corner of Ironside and Wurzbach

NIGHTLIFE

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

BOOZE NEWS Happy hours we’re into this week and brewery news ERIN WINCH + JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

Bexar Pub’s Chill Happy Hour // Bexar Pub opened its doors on Thursday February 23 for a soft opening. The new bar, which is located at 114 Brooklyn Ave. is housed inside of the old Toro Taco location. The bar has received a warm welcome by the Dignowity Hill area. Many locals have mentioned that it is quickly becoming their new hangout spot. The bar is equipped with TV’s both inside and outside and ample open seating. After one visit, you’ll be able to understand why it’s so widely enjoyed. Though the bar was opened by the same folks that ran FOLC and Park Social, it has a different vibe to it than the Olmos Park establishments. Bexar Pub features a menu that is simple and appeals to everyone. Unlike some cocktail menus, the Bexar Pub uses ingredients that are easily recognizable. While it lacks ingredients that are found on more exotic craft cocktail menus — the lavishly named liqueurs, the various type of bitters and vermouths, etc. — there is at least one drink on the menu that could please all taste buds. The variety of drinks at Bexar Pub is impressive. For the seasoned drinker, they offer whiskey forward cocktails like the Rob Roy (scotch, vermouth, bitters) and the Ghetto Old Fashioned (“cheap ass bourbon,” sugar, bitters, orange). Drinks such as the Silver Fox (gin, lime, grape soda) and the Vampiro (tequilia, bloody mix, Squirt, lime juice) are unique to the Bexar Pub menu and serve as a craft cocktail option for those drinkers new to the cocktail world. The bar also features twists on classic drinks like the L.I.T cocktail (basically a Long Island Iced Tea) and the Sex on the Beach. Not big into mixed drinks? Bexar Pub also features a variety of beers in bottles and on draft.

The menu and atmosphere at Bexar Pub is sure to attract people from all walks of life, from those who are new to the cocktail world, to those that are fans of the well crafted drinks. It offers a great space for friends to come together and enjoy a drink, no matter what style they prefer. The prices are great too, cocktails range from $5 to $8 and are two dollars off during happy hour which runs 3-7 p.m. daily. At this point in time, drinks are the only part of the pub up and running, a food menu should be coming out soon. The menu will feature the dearly missed FOLC burger, as well as some other great menu items, like steamed buns and sandwiches. I had the opportunity to try some of their dishes during the San Antonio Cocktail Conference, and I don’t think anything on the menu will disappoint. 114 Brooklyn Ave., (210) 236-7828. — EW South Flores H-E-B’s Pizza Happy Hour Is A Steal // When H-E-B’s South Flores outpost opened in late 2015, the shop had plenty of critics and fans alike. While most downtown dwellers cheered at finally having a location (complete with gas pumps!) within reach, others bemoaned the lack of variety, teensy aisles and relatively early hours (they close at 9 p.m.). But the grocery chain added something to its offerings that both fans and detractors can agree is great — pizza happy hour. I’ll gladly battle traffic into the parking lot to score one of their happy hour pizzas. Available daily from 4 to 7 p.m., large pizzas can be ordered with cheese, pepperoni, meat, supreme, and spicy Hawaiian. The price tag of $10 includes two pints of Alamo Golden Ale on draft.

Pro-tips: Fill out your pizza form, pick up whatever groceries you’re also buying during your visit and pay for your pie before taking the slip to the pizza counter. Then ask for your two pints, and stroll the cozy aisles or head outside and wait for the ‘za czars to call your name. They’ll also call it out on the PA system just in case you choose to head outside to the covered patio to people watch or to admire the surrounding architecture (you can see most of downtown’s high-rises from here). Sadly, the beers aren’t available to-go, but we can’t always have it all. 516 S. Flores St., (210) 444-1879. — JE Branchline Brewing Co. Has Closed Its Taproom // In a hazy notice released Monday night, the Branchline Brewing announced it’ll be closing its taproom as of March 4. The post doesn’t indicate whether production will stop, but the brewery will “regroup.” Here’s the original post: “Branchline Brewing Co. is currently going through a restructure period and our tap room will be closing on March the 4th. Please come by between now and Saturday and celebrate with us! The last 4 years have been amazing, we have had some great employees, shared some great beers, and enjoyed the company of our patrons. We believe that we have created something amazing and could not have done this without your help and support. We don’t believe this is good bye but rather a see you soon. We need some time to regroup and hopefully come back stronger, with that original fire that we once had. Cheers to the craft beer scene in San Antonio, we have enjoyed watching you grow!!” — JE

sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 39

PARTY & BEER RELEASE

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MUSIC

CHRIS CONDE COURTESY OF ROCKET FROM THE CRYPT

SOUTH BY SAN ANTO Catch these SXSW acts on the home front this month

CONNOR LYONS

> Ok y’all, we’re in the thick of it. South By South West looms, and with it will come the “spillover” shows, giving concert-goers the opportunity to check out amazing national and international talent without actually having to venture up I-35 and directly into the belly of the beast (If you’ve ever been caught in SXSW traffic, you know what I’m talking about). To save on gas and the $1,300 wrist-band (cheese and crackers, Batman, that’s a lot), we’ve compiled a list of shows featuring official SXSW artists that are happening right here in the Alamo city. Don’t let FOMO get the best of you, and peep these shows that are happening right in your backyard.

DURAND JONES & THE INDICATIONS

Sunday, March 12 - Saturday, March 18

Tuesday, March 14

Back for its second year of showcasing some of the best local talent SA’s got to offer, Imagine Fest 2 is a crash course on some of the best in SA’s indie scene while also a glimpse of some out-of-towner SXSW talent — including The Head, Trunkweed and Japan’s Ontonana Trio. 7pm, $7 (each night), Imagine Books and Records, 8373 Culebra Rd. Ste 201B

Soaked in blues and classic soul, Bayou-born Durand Jones & The Indications takes us back to an era of music where an artist had to actually be able to sing in order for anyone take notice. With a voice channeling the smoothness of John Legend and an energetic backing band, this classic soul group will have you re-thinking what you consider good music. With Alamo City Soul Club, 9pm, $5, Limelight, 2718 N. St. Mary’s St.

HEATWAVE 2 Monday, March 13

LEE BAINS III & THE GLORY FIRES

The is the second year Paper Tiger’s thrown its “Heatwave” bash, with a slew of garage, punk and art-pop bands like the dreamy, dance-punk ladies of Chastity Belt and the saxophone-laced, punk rock grooving of Downtown Boys to keep the party going through the night. 6pm, Free, Mar 13, Paper Tiger, 2410 N St Mary’s St.

Wednesday, March 15

COURTESY OF DURAND JONES & THE INDICATIONS

With a sound that’s fuzzy and southern as fuck, Lee Bains III & The Glory Fires put the soul back in rock and roll with their poppy hooks and bluesy riffing. Based in Atlanta Georgia and Birmingham, Alabama, these boys harness all the soulful qualities of the South to make music that’s as vintage as it is modern. With Lonely Horse, 9pm, Free, Lowcountry, 318 Martinez St.

ROCKET FROM THE CRYPT Thursday, March 16

Back in Texas for the first time in a few years, Swami John Reis gets Rocket From The Crypt, legendary San Diego’s legendary punk-esque rock band, back together for a rare appearance in San Antonio. With Drakulas, 8pm, $25, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St.

MATT HOLLYWOOD AND THE BAD FEELINGS Friday, March 17 A founding member of The Brian Jonestown Massacre as well as a number of other projects on the folksy-trippy end of musical spectrum, Matt Hollywood And The Bad Feelings are joined by Death Valley Girls, Annabelle Chairlegs and more for a night of good ‘ol fashion psychedelic fun. 8pm, $8, K23, 702 Fredericksburg Rd.

LAURA E. PARTAIN

IMAGINE FEST 2

KELSEY WALDON Friday, March 17

With steady guitar work and a Kentucky drawl, Kelsey Waldon manages to bled the best elements of folk, country and Americana together to bring listeners an authentic southern musical experience. With DT Buffkin, 9pm, $5, The Squeezebox, 2806 N. St. Mary’s St.

HANGOVER FEST Sunday, March 19

Burger Records Hangover Fest returns for it’s fifth installment of all things garage, punk, surf and rock and roll with heavy hitters and early CBGB’s staple, Television headlining the bill as well as a bunch of other bands worth checking out. 12pm, $40, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 41

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MUSIC

CHRIS CONDE

BELA FLECK & ABIGAIL WASHBURN

COURTESY OF ROUNDER RECORDS

MUSIC PICKS

Basically the Beyonce and Jay-Z of bluegrass music, husband and wife duo Bela Fleck & Abigail Washburn join forces to create incredible movements with their respective banjos. One might scoff and say, “Nah, two banjos is too many.” But I say to you, dear reader, nonsense. Because listening to Washburn’s voice weave in and out of her and Fleck’s intricate, feverish banjo picking is a musical experience you just cannot knock – no matter what your tastes. 7:30pm, $24.50-$64.50, Tobin Center For The Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Cir. THU

JUCIFER If getting crushed to death by a tidal wave of slow, powerful distortion sounds appealing to you, then meet Jucifer. A portmanteau of OJ Simpson and Lucifer, the two-piece have been touring incessantly since the mid ‘90s, and, in 2013, actually managed to play something like 30 countries. The metal duo is composed of Gazelle Amber Valentine on lead guitar and vocals, and her husband Edgar Livengood on drums, playing down-tempo sludge metal that kind of sounds like a bomb exploding in slow motion. With Cursus, 8pm, $8, The Korova, 107 E. Martin St. THU

PILL

SCOTT T STEWART

PETER SENZAMIA

Hailing from Brooklyn and sounding like a weird but well-done mash-up of ‘90s grunge, avant garde jazz and punk rock, Pill is a breath of fresh air in this over-saturated and tired surf, garage-wave era that we’re currently stuck in. Some would call them “no wave”, others maybe “post punk.” No matter the label, at the end of the day, they are doing some interesting shit that’s definitely worth checking out. With Period Bomb, 8pm, Free, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. FRI

BAND OF HEATHENS Austin rockers Band Of Heathens manage to incorporate a delightful blend of soul, blues and country-pop for a mix that pretty much sounds like all the best parts of Texas. Duende, the band’s fifth studio album released in January of this year, marks their tenth year as a group of collective Heathens. With Red Shahan, 8pm, $20-$25, Luckenbach Dancehall, 412 Luckenbach Town Loop FRI

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MUSIC

Even if you haven’t been living in San Antonio for very long, if you’ve made at least an attempt at exploring the local music scene, chances are you’ve stumbled upon the eclectic musings of Femina-X. The SA five-piece, led by singer Daniela Riojas, explore the sounds of a variety of genres, a blend of tribal, electronic, Latin and World music. Their new album, Multiverse, exhibits a bit more focus and vocal control from Riojas, and is definitely a step further into the weird and cosmic world that is Femina-X. With Fort Never, Volcan, Mexicans With Guns, 9pm, $7-$10, Limelight, 2718 N. St. Mary’s St. SAT

COURTESY OF FEMINA-X

FEMINA-X MULTIVERSE ALBUM RELEASE

THE WILD REEDS The Wild Reeds are the perfect soundtrack for staring out the window during long road trips through the heartland of North America. Three part harmonies twist over majestic folk music, a delightful blend with the emotionally charged vocals of, say, The Indigo Girls, and the triumphant galloping instrumentation of a band like Fleet Foxes. Based in Los Angeles and on tour across the United States, this folksy five-piece take epic indie music to new heights with their damn good songwriting and dynamic instrumentation. With Blank Range, We Leave At Midnight, 9:30pm, $5-$8, 502 Bar, 502 Embassy Oaks SAT

JOE H. ADAMS

HANNAH SMILES

If you’re gonna make psychedelic rock ‘n roll, you might as well just go all the way with it, drop some acid and fall off the edge of the universe. That’s exactly what Desert Mountain Tribe does. We’re not sure how long we’ve been tripping with them. Or if we’re even tripping at all anymore. Maybe this is just life now, along for the ride while this London three-piece bounces us into a swirling rainbow oblivion with echoing soundscapes and gigantic neo-psyche/stoner-rock movements. Basically, prepare to get lost – in the best way possible. With Mockingbird Express, Flower Jesus, Chew, 4:20pm, $7, K23, 704 Fredericksburg Rd. SUN

DESERT MOUNTAIN TRIBE 44

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YOU DON’T WANNA MISS THIS PARTY!

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CURRENT • March 8-14, 2017 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

MUSIC CALENDAR

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 8 Acoustic Showcase Early evening showcase with Jade Marie Patek and Bryan Catalini. Free. The Phoenix Saloon, 8:30pm Bru’s Tunes Live Acoustic Music by Bru’s Tunes. Free. La Hacienda De Los Barrios, 6-9pm Kathy Mattea Performing in support of her latest release, Calling Me Home. $36.50. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm Mitch Webb & The Swindles Americana music by Mitch Webb & the Swindles. Free. Gruene Hall, 6-10pm THURSDAY, MARCH 9 Béla Fleck & Abigail Washburn 2016 Grammy Award–winning banjo-playing duo. $24.50. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm Creatura Psych-rock band Creatura returns to play at K23, joined by Weird Omen, !mindparade, and and ACID Light Show. $7. K23 Gallery, 7-10pm Garrett Lebeau Blues and R&B performed by Garrett Lebeau. Free. Gruene Hall, 6-10pm Jamie Lin Wilson Country/folk vocalist Jamie Wilson is joined by Charlie Stout. $10-$40. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm Micky and the Motorcars Alt-country band Micky and the Motocars are joined by Troy Cartwright. $15. Luckenbach Dance Hall, 8pm Wayne Holtz Pop artist Wayne Holtz performs with Fader Friend. $5. Limelight, 9pm Yuridia Mexican artist Yuridia performs her popular hits. $48-$150. Aztec Theatre, 8pm FRIDAY, MARCH 10 After the Burial Minnesota metal band After the Burial plays in support of their latest album, In Dreams. Joined by Emmure, Fit for a King, Fit for an Autopsy and Invent Animate. $18. Alamo City Music Hall & Club, 6pm Band of Heathens Country/folk/rock act Band of Heathens is joined by Mike and the Moonpies, and Red Shahan. $20-$25. Luckenbach Dance Hall, 8pm

gather for one night on the Tobin Center stage for a concert to remember. $35-$60. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm Exit Stage Left Exit Stage Left is a Rush tribute band performing two sets. They are joined by Enter Stage Right, a cover band for the 80s, 90s and today. $5-$10. Fitzgerald’s Bar & Live Music, 6pm Guy Forsythe Blues Band Texas Guy Forsythe Blues Band is joined by Fairbanks & the Lonesome Light. $15-$70. Sam’s Burger Joint, 9pm Jesse Stratton Band Country artist Jesse Stratton performs at Phoenix Saloon. Free. The Phoenix Saloon, 9pm Las Cruces and Whiskey Ignition Doom metal bands Las Cruces, Whiskey Ignition, Witchcryer and King Earth $5-$8. Bond’s 007 Rock Bar, 8pm

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March 11 - The Strayhearts 2017 LINEUP

LeAnn Rimes Grammy Award winning artist LeAnn Rimes performs on her Long Live Love Club Tour. $59.50. Gruene Hall, 8pm

FRIDAY APR 7 YOUNG THE GIANT DE LA SOUL

My Education Instrumental rock band My Education performs with Angeles. $5-$8. Limelight, 9pm

SATURDAY APR 8 BASTILLE NAKED AND FAMOUS

Pacific Dub Pacific Dub perform in support of their Take Me Away EP, joined by Kash’d Out. $10-$15. Jack’s Bar, 8-11:45pm Pill Post-punk band Pill is joined by Period Bomb. Free. Paper Tiger, 8pm Rottn/Triamonstar Industrial metal night with Rottn/Triamonstar, joined by Requiem Rust, Shadow Fashion, Spell 27 and Violetta Crush. $5. Zombies, 9:30pm Saturn Skies, Mr. Pidge Musical duo Saturn Skies releases their full length album, joined by Mr. Pidge releasing their EP. $7. Ventura, 7:30pm Wade Bowen Texas country artist Wade Bowen is joined by Cody Canada & the Departed. $17.50-$400. John T Floore’s Country Store, 8:30pm West Kings Highway West Kings Highway perform at their Friday Night Residency at Sancho’s Cantina. Free. Sancho’s Cantina, 7-9pm

March 10 - Wade Bowen, Cody Canada & The Departed and Parker McCollum

BOOK OF LOVE

MINUS THE BEAR SMALL BLACK

GENERATIONALS

CARLA MORRISON HONEY HONEY

#maverickmusicfestival | maverickmusicfestival.com

March 18 - Margo Price

Charlie Brown’s Neighborhood Bar & Grill Join Us for Happy Hour

March 24 - JB and The Moonshine Band

Mon-Fri 2pm-7pm Specials Daily

March 11: RIGHT ON RED March 18: KEROSENE DRIFTERS March 25: BILLY KIESEL

March 25 - Bart Crow

SATURDAY, MARCH 11 1313 A night of post punk, goth and deathrock with Ely 1313 with DJ Ely Bat and DJ Detra. Free. The Amp Room, 10pm The Black Lillies Americana band The Black Lillies are joined by The O’s. $10. Luckenbach Dance Hall, 8-11:30pm

Bustin Loose Bustin Loose is a night of disco, funk and soul. Free. The Mix, 9pm

The Crowned Metal band The Crowned are joined by A Good Rogering and Revolution Terror. $5. Zombies, 9:30pm

Dokken, Warrant and Trixter Three warriors of 80s metal and glam metal

Epilepsy Memorial Concert Tejano star Michael Salgado, 2016 Latin Grammy

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Helotes, TX (210)695-8827

For tickets: liveatfloores.com sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 47

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MUSIC

winner for Best Tejano album. $50-$100. Texas Pride Barbeque, 6:30-10pm Jon Wolfe Country singer/songwriter Jon Wolfe performs at Cowboys Dancehall in support of his “Natural Man” album. $15$20. Cowboys Dancehall, 7pm LeAnn Rimes Grammy Award winning artist LeAnn Rimes performs on her Long Live Love Club Tour. $59.50. Gruene Hall, 9pm Led Zeppelin 2 The Live Experience Re-enacting the live improvisation & onstage interaction of Led Zeppelin. $15. Aztec Theatre, 8pm Passing Strangers Passing Strangers is a 1st Wave/80’s retro/ Alternative band based out of San Antonio, TX. $10-$45. Sam’s Burger Joint, 9pm Sad Wings Sad Wings is a tribute to Judas Priest, joined by Disorderly Konduct. $10$13. The Phoenix Saloon, 8pm Sage Francis Rhode Island hip hop artist Sage Francis performs with rapper B. Dolan, Ghost Palace, Chris Conde, Kree23, Lotus Tribe, and Spy MC. $12-$15. The Korova, 8pm Saxon, UFO Heavy metal band Saxon is joined by UFO and Jared James Nichols. $36-$40. Alamo City Music Hall & Club, 7pm Simultaneous Monologues/Spontaneous Dialogue: A Performance by Richard Oppenheim and Rene Saenz Multiinstrumentalists versatile in all genres of reed music, Oppenheim and Saenz are nationally recognized jazz saxophonists who have performed across genres. $10$15. URBAN-15, 8-9:30pm The Srayhearts Southern rock/country act The Strayhearts play Floore’s. $10-$12. John T Floore’s Country Store, 9pm Ugly God Rapper Ugly God is joined by Nessly. $50. Paper Tiger, 8pm The Wild Reeds LA’s indie rock band The Wild Reeds play in support of their upcoming album “The World We Built,” joined by Blank Range. $5-$8. 502 Bar, 9pm SUNDAY, MARCH 12

Hendrix. $53-$103. The Majestic Theatre, 7:30pm K Phillips Country-rock act K Phillips is joined by Daniel Thomas Phipps. $10-$45. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm Sunday Jazz at the Witte Every second Sunday of the month, jazz at the Will Smith Amphitheater. $7-$10. Witte Museum, 3-5pm Xenia Rubinos Vocalist and composer Xenia Rubinos is joined by Sad13 and Stef Chura. $6-$10. Limelight, 8pm MONDAY, MARCH 13 Dance Gavin Dance Post-hardcore band Dance Gavin Dance is joined by Chon. $22. Alamo City Music Hall & Club, 6pm Meat and Metal Mondays Zombies Bar hosts a metal night while serving meat and drink specials. Free. Zombies, 5pm Purple Rain Live A dozen San Antonio bands perform Prince’s 1984 classic Purple Rain, from start to finish, backed up by the YOSA Philharmonic. $25-$70. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm Swing Nite with Two Tons of Steel San Antonio-based band Two Tons of Steel blends country and punk. $9-$10. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8:30pm Thelma & the Sleaze Nashville based rock trio Thelma & the Sleaze perform at Limelight. $5-$8. Limelight, 9pm TUESDAY, MARCH 14 Adam Johnson Blues artist Adam Johnson plays Gruene. Free. Gruene Hall, 1-5pm Conor Oberst Conor Oberst, of Bright Eyes, is joined by The Felice Brothers. $26. Paper Tiger, 8pm Imagine Fest II Imagine Books & Records hosts seven nights of live music, 5 bands each night, including Bright Like the Sun, Lonely Horse, Volcán, Fishermen, The Bolos, Verisimilitude and others. $7. Imagine Books and Records, 8pm

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Live from Jazz, TX Show Series Jazz, TX, will host a radio show series with San Antonio’s NPR affiliate, Texas Public Radio (TPR). $20. Jazz, TX, 8:30pm

The Expanders Reggae artists The Expanders, Saltwater Slide and DJ Reggae Luke perform at Jack’s. $10-$15. Jack’s Bar, Sharkmuffin Brooklyn’s “glam garage band” Sharkmuffin are joined by Ex-Girlfriends 8-11pm and id. Free. The Mix, 10pm Experience Hendrix The multi-artist Tuesday Evening Picker Circle with Jake celebration known as the Experience McLain Unplugged picker circle with Jake Hendrix Tour presents legendary artists McLain. Free. Luckenbach Dance Hall, 5pm who join together to pay homage to Jimi

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ETC.

DEFINING DECENCY DOWN > My wife and I have a decent sex life. Pretty vanilla, but we’re busy with work, chores, and life in general with two small kids, so I can’t complain too much. About a year after having our second kid, I went down on my wife. As usual, we both enjoyed it greatly. Unfortunately, about a week later she got a yeast infection. She attributed the YI to the oral, and since then I am strictly forbidden from putting my mouth anywhere near her pussy. I understand that YI are no fun, painful, and embarrassing. I understand her reluctance. But I’ve never heard of oral sex causing YI, although I realize I might be misinformed. How do I win back her trust to let me go down on her? No one is about to mistake me for Sting when it comes to my endurance during intercourse, so having the ability to pleasure her without penetration is important. Dirty Mouth Guy “Yeast is not an STI,” said Dr. Anika Denali Luengo, an ob-gyn in Portland, Oregon. “Yeast (candida) is a normal denizen of the vagina, and an infection simply means there is an overgrowth of it on the vulva or in the vagina.” People are likelier to get a yeast infection — or likelier to experience yeast overpopulation, since yeast is a citizen of Vagina City — when they’re on antibiotics, they have diabetes, or their immune system has taken a hit. “Oral sex can be a slight risk factor in transmission of candida,” said Dr. Denali Luengo, “but the frequency of candidiasis is not increased by the frequency of sex, so it may not happen next time. Also, if her symptoms developed one week later, it could have been pure coincidence.” A coincidence — that was my hunch when I read your letter, DMG. “Luckily, they are easy to treat — over the counter miconazole or the single-dose pill fluconazole — and are basically just a nuisance and present no major health risks,” said Dr. Denali Luengo. > I’m a straight-identified guy in my early 30s. I am married, but my

SAVAGE LOVE by Dan Savage

wife lives in another part of the country and we’re doing an open relationship until she moves to live with me. Last weekend, I met a girl at a bar who ended up coming home with me, and she turned out to be a pre-op trans woman. I’d never been with a trans person before, so I decided to just roll with it and ended up having a pretty good time. Over the course of the weekend, I started to get the sense that she really liked me and maybe even considered me boyfriend material. I want to see her again, but I’m not really available for a serious relationship. Knowing the kind of unbelievable shit trans people have to deal with, I feel like it would be unfair to string her along. She is not aware of my marital status. What should I do? Can’t Think Of Funny Acronym O brave new world that has such straight-identified guys in it. Anyway, CTOFA, here’s what you should do: Get in a time machine and go be completely — what’s the word? — oh right, go be completely straight with this woman before you take her home from that bar. You’re married and doing the LDR thing and the marriage is open and you’re available for fun but nothing more. No time machine? Then handle it the same way you would if you’d deceived some cis woman — excuse me, if you’d accidentally gotten some cis woman’s hopes up by failing to mention the wife. Level with her — you’re married — and let the nips fall where they may. She might be angry or she might not give a wet squart (she may not be as interested as you think she is). If she accuses you of making up a wife because you don’t want to date a trans woman, it shouldn’t be hard to prove your wife — and your marriage — exists. Finally, CTOFA, you say it would “be unfair to string her along” because of the “unbelievable shit trans people have to deal with.” It would be unfair — it would be wrong — to string a cis woman along, too. Stringing people along is wrong, period.

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On the Lovecast, we love Lindsey Doe from Sexplanations, and you will too: savagelovecast.com. sacurrent.com • March 8-14, 2017 • CURRENT 51

ETC.

PARTICIPANTS NEEDED FOR A DIABETES STUDY!

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Answer on page 27

IF YOU ARE: •Have diabetes but otherwise healthy. •30 years of age or older. •Take Bydureon (exenatide) or Victoza (liraglutide. You may be eligible to join a clinical trial conducted by the Diabetes Division of the UTHSCSA at the Texas Diabetes Institute (TDI). If qualified, you will receive: •Physical exam at no cost. •No cost trial related blood tests. •Compensation for your time.

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Study will be conducted at the: TDI on 701 Zarzamora St. Principal Investigator: Ralph A. DeFronzo, M.D. Department of Medicine, Diabetes Division UTHSCSA. 52

CURRENT • March 8-14, 2017 • sacurrent.com

“Just Average”— if two don’t fit... ACROSS

1 Lend a hand 5 “I got it!” reactions 9 “... like ___ out of hell” 13 “___ F” (hit instrumental of 1985) 14 Like the sound of French vowels 16 Attack with the tongue 17 Picture that absolutely has to be seen? 19 See 41-Down 20 Make amends (for) 21 12 of 12, briefl y 22 Spicy coffee shop order 23 Denims kept clean during auction time? 27 Be in another form? 30 Dave Grohl band ___ Fighters 31 Concert purchase 32 “The Addams Family” cousin 33 Actor Diggs 35 Firm ending? 37 Actor James Van ___ Beek 39 What part of each theme answer has to do to fi t 45 Six-pack unit 46 Glass on NPR 47 Schooner steerer 48 “Do you even lift, ___?” 50 Cobra ___ (“The Karate Kid” dojo) 53 Bother 55 “Sure thing”

56 Author of “A Series of Unfortunate Kravitzes”? 60 “The Thin Man” canine 61 English actor McKellen 62 Engine buildup 66 Reminder of an old wound 67 Long stories about hosting audio-visual dance parties? 70 Plastic surgery procedure 71 Itching to get started 72 Casino freebie 73 Theater backdrops 74 “Hello ___” (cellphone ad catchphrase) 75 Land bordering the Persian Gulf

DOWN

1 “___ Nagila” 2 Cinema sign 3 “Dallas Buyers Club” Oscar winner Jared 4 Backup operation 5 “Fuel” performer DiFranco 6 Cuban sandwich ingredient 7 Carne ___ (burrito filler) 8 Most wise 9 Ralph’s wife on “The Honeymooners” 10 Reason to wear a hat, maybe 11 Tilted 12 Believer in a deity 15 Dulce de ___ 18 1970s heartthrob Garrett 24 “___ Time” (Sublime song)

25 Refuses to 26 “Star Wars: The Last ___” 27 Cash cache, for short 28 Singer Corinne Bailey ___ 29 It’s good to keep during an interview 34 Vowel for Plato 36 It’s represented by X 38 Mag. employees 40 Blue Pac-Man ghost 41 With 19-Across, “Spamalot” creator 42 “Superstore” actor McKinney 43 It’s not a freaking “alternative fact” 44 Ernie of the PGA Tour 48 Criticizes loudly 49 Save from disaster 51 “___ said many times ...” 52 Surrounded by standstill traffic 54 Beer barrels 57 Stoolies, in Sussex 58 Montoya who sought the six-fingered man 59 Bingham of “Baywatch” 63 “Frankenstein” helper 64 Bear whose porridge was too cold 65 “30 for 30” cable channel 68 Tightrope walker’s protection 69 Miracle-___ (garden brand)

ETC.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): As soon as you can, sneak away to a private place where you can be alone — preferably to a comfy sanctuary where you can indulge in eccentric behavior without being seen or heard or judged. When you get there, launch into an extended session of moaning and complaining. I mean do it out loud. Wail and whine and whisper about everything that’s making you sad and puzzled and crazy. For best results, leap into the air and wave your arms. Whirl around in erratic figure-eights while drooling and messing up your hair. Breathe extra deeply. And all the while, let your pungent emotions and poignant fantasies flow freely through your wild heart. Keep on going until you find the relief that lies on the other side. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): “I’ve

always belonged to what isn’t where I am and to what I could never be,” wrote Portuguese writer Fernando Pessoa (1888-1935). That was his prerogative, of course. Or maybe it was a fervent desire of his, and it came true. I bring his perspective to your attention, Taurus, because I believe your mandate is just the opposite, at least for the next few weeks: You must belong to what is where you are. You must belong to what you will always be.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): Nothing is

ever as simple as it may seem. The bad times always harbor opportunities. The good times inevitably have a caveat. According to my astrological analysis, you’ll prove the latter truth in the coming weeks. On one hand, you will be closer than you’ve been in many moons to your ultimate sources of meaning and motivation. On the other hand, you sure as hell had better take advantage of this good fortune. You can’t afford to be shy about claiming the rewards and accepting the responsibilities that come with the opportunities.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): Seek intimacy with experiences that are dewy and slippery and succulent. Make sure you get more than your fair share of swirling feelings and flowing sensations, cascading streams and misty rain, arousing drinks and sumptuous sauces, warm baths and purifying saunas, skin moisturizers and lustrous massages, the milk of human kindness and the buttery release of deep sex — and maybe even a sensational do-it-yourself baptism that frees you from at least some of your regrets. Don’t stay thirsty, my undulating friend. Quench your need to be very, very wet. Gush and spill. Be gushed and spilled on. LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): Would you like to live to the age of 99? If so, experiences and realizations that arrive in the coming weeks could be important in that project. A

window to longevity will open, giving you a chance to gather clues about actions you can take and meditations you can do to remain vital for ten decades. I hope you’re not too much of a serious, know-it-all adult to benefit from this opportunity. If you’d like to be deeply receptive to the secrets of a long life, you must be able to see with innocent, curious eyes. Playfulness is not just a winsome quality in this quest; it’s an essential asset.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): You’re

ripe. You’re delectable. Your intelligence is especially sexy. I think it’s time to unveil the premium version of your urge to merge. To prepare, let’s review a few flirtation strategies. The eyebrow flash is a good place to start. A subtle, flicking lick of your lips is a fine follow-up. Try tilting your neck to the side ever-so-coyly. If there are signs of reciprocation from the other party, smooth your hair or pat your clothes. Fondle nearby objects like a wine glass or your keys. And this is very important: Listen raptly to the person you’re wooing. P.S.: If you already have a steady partner, use these techniques as part of a crafty plan to draw him or her into deeper levels of affection.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): Let’s talk about a compassionate version of robbery. The thieves who practice this art don’t steal valuable things you love. Rather, they pilfer stuff you don’t actually need but are reluctant to let go of. For example, the spirit of a beloved ancestor may sweep into your nightmare and carry off a delicious poison that has been damaging you in ways you’ve become comfortable with. A bandit angel might sneak into your imagination and burglarize the debilitating beliefs and psychological crutches you cling to as if they were bars of gold. Are you interested in benefiting from this service? Ask and you shall receive.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21):

“The noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world,” wrote Martin Luther (1483-1546), a revolutionary who helped break the stranglehold of the Catholic Church on the European imagination. I bring this up, Sagittarius, because you’re entering a phase when you need the kind of uprising that’s best incited by music. So I invite you to gather the tunes that have inspired you over the years, and also go hunting for a fresh batch. Then listen intently, curiously, and creatively as you feed your intention to initiate constructive mutation. Its time to overthrow anything about your status quo that is jaded, lazy, sterile, or apathetic.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19):

“Either you learn to live with paradox and ambiguity or you’ll be six years old for the rest of your life,” says author Anne Lamott. How are you doing with that lesson, Capricorn? Still learning? If you would like to get even more advanced teachings about paradox and ambiguity — as well as conundrums, incongruity, and anomalies — there will be plenty of chances in the coming weeks. Be glad! Remember the words of Nobel Prize-winning physicist Niels Bohr: “How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress.”

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): Lichen is a hardy form of life that by some estimates covers six percent of the earth’s surface. It thrives in arctic tundra and rainforests, on tree bark and rock surfaces, on walls and toxic slag heaps, from sea level to alpine environments. The secret of its success is symbiosis. Fungi and algae band together (or sometimes fungi and bacteria) to create a blended entity; two very dissimilar organisms forge an intricate relationship that comprises a third organism. I propose that you regard lichen as your spirit ally in the coming weeks, Aquarius. You’re primed for some sterling symbioses. PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): If you

normally wear adornments and accessories and fine disguises, I invite you not to do so for the next two weeks. Instead, try out an unembellished, what-you-see-is-whatyou-get approach to your appearance. If, on the other hand, you don’t normally wear adornments and accessories and fine disguises, I encourage you to embrace such possibilities in a spirit of fun and enthusiasm. Now you may inquire: How can these contradictory suggestions both apply to the Pisces tribe? The answer: There’s a more sweeping mandate behind it all, namely: to tinker and experiment with the ways you present yourself . . . to play around with strategies for translating your inner depths into outer expression.

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21):

Evolved Scorpios don’t fantasize about bad things happening to their competitors and adversaries. They don’t seethe with smoldering desires to torment anyone who fails to give them what they want. They may, however, experience urges to achieve TOTAL CUNNNG DAZZLING MERCILESS VICTORY over those who won’t acknowledge them as golden gods or golden goddesses. But even then, they don’t indulge in the deeply counterproductive emotion of hatred. Instead, they sublimate their ferocity into a drive to keep honing their talents. After all, that game plan is the best way to accomplish something even better than mere revenge: success in fulfilling their dreams. Please keep these thoughts close to your heart in the coming weeks.

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