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The City of Tampa loves a parade, so it had one last Saturday in honor of the trees lighting up in Curtis Hixon Waterfront Park and Santa Fest. Citizens of all ages joined Tampa Mayor Jane Castor for an afternoon of music, letter writing, movies, face painting, and, yes, visits with the big guy. See more photos via cltampa.com/slideshows.—Ray Roa
do this
Tampa Bay's best things to do from December 12 - 18
Roll up
Bike and pop music fans, we have some good News 4 U. Los Angeles soul-pop band Fitz and the Tantrums is headed back to Tampa this weekend. onBikes’ 13th annual seven-mile bicycle ride plows through downtown, plus up and down Bayshore Boulevard, and wraps at The Curt for a show by the pop band. Proceeds from the even support nonprofit OnBikes’ ongoing mission to provide new bicycles and helmets to underprivileged kids on the Bay area. onBikes founder Julius Tobin told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that since its inception, OnBikes has distributed over 18,000 sets of wheels to kids in need. onBikes
Winter Wonder Ride w/ Fitz and the Tantrums : Saturday, Dec. 14. 2 p.m. $40 & up. Curtis Hixon Waterfront Park, 600 N Ashley Dr., Tampa. onbikes. org—Ray Roa
Reserve for preserve
In 2023, Nicole Brand took Creative Loafing Tampa Bay on a walk through the University of South Florida’s once embattled forest preserve. USF’s first-ever Director of the Environmental Conservation Outreach, Research, and Education (ECORE) System calls the diverse, roughly 500-acre, gingerbread man-shaped habitat her office and expressed interest in making it available to tour for the public at large. That time has finally come. For two hours, Brand will guide a limited-capacity, 90-minute hike through the preserve cypress dome, controlled-burn areas and more, showing off a hidden Tampa ecological gem that is worth fighting for.
USF Forest Preserve Tour: Friday, Dec. 13. 9 a.m. No cover, registration required. Meeting spot to be shared with accepted registrants only, Tampa. bullsconnect.usf.edu —Ray Roa
Middle ground
Tampa Bay, like much of the rest of the U.S., has an affordability crisis going on. Housing is a huge part of that, but the rise of model suburban zoning codes in the 1970s virtually outlawed "Missing Middle" housing and replaced it with rules that promote sprawl and car-oriented suburban subdivisions. Locals in the Florida Chapter of the Congress for the New Urbanism (CNU Tampa Bay) have a few ideas about that. Enter the concept of multi-family structures which fit gracefully into existing city neighborhoods. As Creative Loafing Tampa Bay contributor and former Tampa City Councilwoman Linda Saul-Sena previously reported, "these types of housing can take the form of tiny homes, duplexes, triplexes, and even mini apartment buildings and clusters of small buildings arranged thoughtfully into cottage courts. Many of them still exist, but in limited places.” A self-guided walking tour, complete with local experts to talk to you about the concept, hopes to show some to you. Anyone who can’t join in person can ask for an email of the walking map, too. Happy hour at Irish 31, complete with appetizers, will follow.
Hyde Park Missing Middle Walking Tour & Happy Hour: Friday, Dec. 13. 3:30 p.m. No cover. Meet at Buddy Brew Coffee, 1605 W Snow Ave., Tampa. @CNUTampaBay on Facebook—Ray Roa
YVONNE GOUGELET C/O ONBIKES
Moving out
It’s the end of an era on the corner of N Rome Avenue and W Cypress Street in Tampa. Larry Schiller—who extracts joy from the world around him by buying unique items for home, business and landscaping—is moving out of the 14,000-square-foot warehouse his stuff has called home for 15 years. The 65-year-old contractor by trade is trying to get rid of pretty much everything, too—and there’s a lot (he’s been collecting, technically, since he was five years old). In November, he kicked off a sale where most everything was “free, or almost free,” and that sale is ongoing until Saturday. There’s lots of wood, trim, lighting and other free items still on site, Schiller told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, but he’s gonna start packing on Sunday. “After I pack it up and start the move, the stuff is no longer gonna be free,” Schiller—who’s sold to local legends like Carolyn Wilson, Bob Buckhorn, Richard Gonzmart, and Sam Mazzaro—added. For now, he doesn’t exactly know where his next warehouse is, but he’s gotta be out by Jan. 31. Anyone who wants to pick through Schiller’s stuff can do it during open hours on Saturdays, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. or give him a call (813-443-4641) to see if he’s around.
Schiller’s Salvage moving sale: Happening now through Saturday, Dec. 14. Schiller’s Architectural & Design Salvage. 1002 N Rome Ave., Tampa. schillerssalvage.com— Ray Roa
Reading and weeping Bookstores are worth celebrating year round, but one in particular should take a lot of the cake this weekend. A community-focused bookstore if there ever was one, Tombolo has become the goto space for Florida authors to show off their new works and connect with readers. It’s got very artsy St. Pete vibes, and locals love it for that. Former CL contributor L.L. Kirchner pops up at the shop this weekend to show off a new crime novel, “Vegas Girls,” while Tombolo stages a holiday market in the courtyard. Tears of joy. Get excited for CL’s books issue next week, too.
Tombolo Turns Five! Holiday Night Market in the Courtyard: Saturday, Dec. 14. 5:30 p.m. No cover. Tombolo Books, 2153 1st Ave S, St. Petersburg. tombolobooks.com—Ray Roa
Rise up
Last weekend, Tampa Bay Sun FC found itself on the wrong end of a key match against second-place Dallas Trinity FC. The loss drops the Bay area’s first-ever pro women’s soccer team to fifth place in the USL Super League, but the squad has a chance to climb back into playoff contention as it wraps the fall (aka first half) of its season at home against seventh place Spokane Zephyr FC. The Sun— pretty much at full strength now after the arrival of international players (like Cecilie Fløe Nielsen, pictured) and surprising play from development academy members—was on a tear before the loss, too, and did not lose a single game in November. The 14-game spring schedule kicks off in Ft. Lauderdale, but gives the Sun a chance to beat Dallas in Texas before coming back to Tampa on Feb. 22 to face Brooklyn FC.
Spokane Zephyr FC v. Tampa
Bay Sun FC: Saturday, Dec. 14. 7 p.m. Riverfront Stadium at Blake High School. 1701 N Boulevard, Tampa. tampabaysunfc.com—Ray Roa
DAVE
DECKER
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COLUMN
POLITICS ISSUES OPINION
Chronology
10 reasons Chad Chronister withdrew his nomination to lead Trump’s DEA.
By Ray Roa and Colin Wolf
Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister’s had a whirlwind week thanks to the president-elect.
On Nov. 30, Donald Trump shared plans to tap Hillsborough County’s twice-elected sheriff to lead the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration. Shortly afterwards, Chronister called the nomination the “honor of a lifetime” and said he was “deeply humbled by this opportunity to serve our nation.”
After getting pushback from MAGA world, Chronister even went on the air with InfoWars contributor Rodney Howard-Browne to reiterate that everything was cool between him and the Tampa pastor, who he arrested in 2020 for violating pandemic shutdown orders.
“I’ve always appreciated that you know I’m a ‘follow the law’ sheriff,’” said Chronister to Howard-Browne. “I was following the law back then. Lousy laws, good laws, you have to be the sheriff and do your job, and you always understood that. I’m proud that Florida was the first to roll back all those COVID restrictions and it certainly was a very happy day when I was able to call the state attorney and say, ‘Drop those charges’ against you. You’ve been a true friend and I’m so grateful and blessed by the friendship and love that we share, thank you for your support.”
During the brief video, Chronister also promised to “knock on the doors” of cartels and organizations that are distributing “poison” on day one of his new role.
Something changed after that, however, because less than 72 hours after getting the nod to lead the DEA, Chronister unexpectedly pulled his nomination.
“Over the past several days, as the gravity of this very important responsibility set in, I’ve concluded that I must respectfully withdraw from consideration,” wrote Chronister on Twitter. “There is more work to be done for the citizens of Hillsborough County and a lot of initiatives I am committed to fulfilling. I sincerely appreciate the nomination, outpouring of support by the American people, and look forward to continuing my service as Sheriff of Hillsborough County.”
There’s plenty of speculation about Chronister’s change of heart (see the bottom of this story), but Trump—in a post criticizing the Wall Street Journal’s story about the development—attempted
to take charge of the narrative by calling Hillsborough County’s seven-year sheriff a liar.
“...he didn’t pull out, I pulled him out because I did not like what he said to my pastors and other supporters,” Trump, a habitual liar, wrote on his Truth social.
Besides openly admitting that he isn’t vetting candidates for his administration, the president-elect also did not provide any proof or details on what Chronister may have said to his “pastors and other supporters.”
And for now, Chronister—whose father-inlaw received a pardon from Trump in 2020—is not pushing back on the president-elect.
“Sheriff Chronister stands behind his decision to withdraw from consideration. Right now, his priority, as it has been for the last seven years, remains the mission to protect and serve everyone in Hillsborough County,”
a Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay.
Asked for clarity on whether or not the sheriff will push back on Trump’s claim, the spokesperson added, “Sheriff Chronister’s focus is on his responsibilities and commitment to Hillsborough County. He will not continue to perpetuate the political chatter around his previous decision.”
Since Chronister didn’t elaborate on exactly why or how he came to this decision, and neither did the Trump transition team, here are the 10 most likely (and obviously satirical) reasons he turned down the position:
4. Official background checks discovered his “Be a Bad Ass With a Good Ass” sign in his home gym.
5. It’s way more fun to use the helicopter to chase poor people who steal from Walmart than it is a cartel member.
6. Chad’s rich father-in-law didn’t want to pay for the eventual lawsuits that come with being in the Trump administration.
“He will not continue to perpetuate the political chatter around his previous decision.”
1. Chad has been attempting to decline the job for days but the Botox made it too difficult to move his face.
2. Only Trump is allowed to put his name on everything at the taxpayers’ expense.
3. Chad would miss bumping his stats with monthly “human trafficking” stings that are mostly just consensual sex round-ups.
7. The incoming HCSO replacement refused to change their name to “Chad Chronister” in order to save the county billions in rebranding.
8. Chad realized that the real “war on drugs” would involve fighting pharmaceutical companies, which is way harder than fighting Mexican drug cartels.
9. Didn’t have enough endorsements from InfoWars contributors.
10. Trump suddenly remembered Grady Judd.
Rocked
After losing by over 15 points to Kathy Castor, Tampa Bay Republican demands investigation.
By Mitch Perry/Florida Phoenix
Since Donald Trump’s victory in both the Electoral College and the popular vote last month, there haven’t been as many complaints about a “rigged election” as there were at this time in 2020. That doesn’t mean that every Republican in Florida believes everything was on the up and up when it came to counting all the votes.
Take Robert “Rocky” Rochford, a U.S. Navy veteran who was the GOP candidate in Florida’s 14th Congressional District. He lost decisively on Nov. 5 to Democratic incumbent Kathy Castor, who won her 10th term in office by more than 15 points. The district encompasses parts of Hillsborough and Pinellas County.
But Rochford doesn’t believe the election was fairly adjudicated and filed a lawsuit this month citing “substantial” irregularities “sufficient enough to change the results of the election.”
The case, filed in Leon County Circuit Court, seeks an independent investigation into the administration of vote-by-mail ballots. Rochford also wants the court to nullify the certification of the election and to order a new election.
The complaint revolves around applications for vote-by-mail ballots in both Hillsborough and Pinellas counties. The suit says that in Pinellas County alone on Sept. 9, 198,166 vote-by-mail requests were “dumped” into the system, and that those requests were made with the Voter Fraud Protection System “turned off or somehow overridden.”
The suit goes on to allege that 37,495 requests for vote-by-mail ballots were accepted despite the fact that the voters did not provide a driver’s license number, Florida voter ID number, or the last four digits of a Social Security Number — a legal requirement since passage of a 2021 electoral reform bill (SB 90).
“We are starting to dig into the 198,166 supposed voters to see how many of them were dead, gone, or unqualified when they voted,” said Deerfield Beach attorney Peter Ticktin, representing Rochford in the lawsuit.
Pinellas County Supervisor of Elections Julie Marcus, Hillsborough County Supervisor of Elections Craig Latimer, and Florida Secretary of State Cord Byrd are listed as defendants, as are the canvassing boards for Pinellas and Hillsborough. The Florida Elections Canvassing Commission and Rep. Castor are also named as defendants.
None of those defendants responded to requests for comment. A spokesperson for the Hillsborough County supervisor of elections said that that office does not comment on pending litigation.
‘Too big to rig’
In an interview with Ticktin last Monday night, the attorney alleged an organized attempt to cheat in the election through mail-in ballots, adding, “We can show this happened in every county in Florida.”
“We’re not sure that this happened in other states at this point, but we see that all of the candidates lost either 2 to 1, 3 to 1, or 4 to 1 in every county of Florida, and we’re talking about [Rick] Scott and Donald Trump [both of whom won the state by 13 percentage points]. They lost the mail-in votes by a large margin, and the only reason that they were able to win the state was because it was just too big to rig.”
“They [Republicans] had so many people pouring out that it overwhelmed the numbers that were in the mail-in votes,” he said.
“So the question is: Were the mail-in votes done by some forces-that-be, some people who came into the system and basically somehow were able to put in the voter registrations and then the requests for ballots of people that are either dead, moved out of that country and are voting somewhere else, or are people that are just not citizens? So, what scenario could there be? And the scenario that we suspect … is that non-citizens were listed, and their names and identification were used.”
“The more likely scenario is that voters made their voices heard and chose a different candidate. I guess we’ll see how the lawsuit pans out but, from our perspective, our election officials work tirelessly regardless of their party affiliation to ensure a safe and fair election, and they deserve our respect and gratitude, not baseless accusations targeting them.”
Ashwell noted that the documents in question were just for requests for ballots. “These are not the ballots that are being returned,” he said.
“That’s very different.”
“No vote-by-mail issued on a day in which there was a breakdown in internal controls can be considered valid because the first control in place, requesting and providing identification, was not
While registered Republicans voted in larger numbers than Democrats on Election Day and in early voting, 211,285 more Democrats than Republicans voted by mail this year, according to the Florida Division of Elections. In 2022, 193,628 more Democrats voted by mail than Republicans; in 2020, 683,487 more Democrats than Republicans voted by mail, putting into question whether there was anything out of the ordinary that Democrats outvoted Republicans in that particular voting method.
Ticktin speculates about what he thinks took place.
‘Big logical leaps’
That scenario seems not necessarily backed up by the evidence at hand, said Brad Ashwell, with the voting rights group All Voting is Local Florida. After reviewing the lawsuit, he suggested the Rochford group is “making a lot of big logical leaps — a lot of causal connections that just might not be there at all.”
“All these assertions seem thin and farfetched, and they fit squarely into a fraud narrative that anti-voter forces have been spinning ever since the 2020 election,” Ashwell continued.
present,” the lawsuit claims. “This amounts to a total of approximately 122,971 compromised vote-by-mail ballots, of which approximately 96,188 were voted on. This not only had a material impact on the election results but were probably the determining factor of the election.”
Florida Phoenix is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Florida Phoenix maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Michael Moline for questions: info@ floridaphoenix.com. Follow Florida Phoenix on Facebook and X.
LOST AT SEA: Robert Rochford doesn’t believe the election was fairly adjudicated.
Powerless Regulators approve plan allowing TECO to raise rates for customers.
By Jim Turner/News Service of Florida
State utility regulators last Tuesday approved a new three-year base rate for Tampa Electric Co. that is set to increase residential customer bills starting in January.
Changes to the base rate initially sought by the company would have amounted to roughly a $5 monthly increase for residential customers who consume 1,000 kilowatt hours of electricity a month, a benchmark used in the utility industry.
However, a spokeswoman for Tampa Electric said after the meeting that the company was “still calculating the impact” of changes adopted by the Public Service Commission.
Brooke Ward, senior Florida organizer of Food & Water Watch, called the increase “a gut punch to struggling community members, still reeling from the unexpected costs of back to back hurricanes and record inflation.”
Commission staff called for an incremental revenue increase of $153.4 million in 2025, with an incremental increase in 2026 of $74.7 million and no increase in 2027.
“Evidence in the record shows that since 2022, interest rates have increased and that TECO has been able to provide reliable service and make all necessary investments with an authorized ROE (return on equity) of 10.2%,” a Nov. 22 commission memo on the proposal said. “On balance, staff is recommending that an ROE of 10.3% would continue to enable TECO to generate the cash flow to meet its near term financial obligations, make the capital investments needed to maintain and expand its system, and maintain sufficient levels of liquidity to fund unexpected events.”
LOCAL NEWS
“One in five Tampa households — almost 250,000 — are energy burdened, meaning they spend more than six-percent of their income on energy bills, cutting into costs for other necessities,” Ward said after last Tuesday’s meeting.
Tampa Electric, also known as TECO, serves about 844,000 customers in Hillsborough County and portions of Polk, Pasco, and Pinellas counties.
TECO in April initially requested an increase of approximately $296.6 million for 2025, with an increase of approximately $100 million in 2026 and $72 million in 2027.
In August, TECO revised its proposal, seeking a 2025 base rate increase of $287.9 million, followed by incremental increases of $92.4 million in 2026 and $65.5 million in 2027.
The rate approved last Tuesday gives the company an expected return on equity of 10.5%, up from a current 10.2% return on equity under a base rate last changed in 2021. The company requested an 11.5% return on equity.
TECO’s rate-increase proposal sought money for a series of projects, including upgrading existing power plants and adding solar-energy facilities. But the state Office of Public Counsel, which represents consumers, and other parties argued that the proposal should be scaled back.
Tampa Electric also is expected to seek to recover $45 million to $55 million related to power-restoration costs from Hurricane Helene and $320 million to $370 million related to Hurricane Milton, according to a quarterly financial report filed last month at the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission.
STACKED DECK: TECO customers are still reeling from hurricanes.
Behind the curtain
Business owners on Tampa’s ‘Yellow Brick Row’ are unhappy with new paid parking.
By Julia Saad
When Joshua Garman was looking to open the Hidden Springs Ale Works brewery in 2015, he visited over 30 buildings before settling on the charming artistic district known as the Yellow Brick Row. The reasons were simple: The neighborhood’s vibe and free parking areas.
“There was no paid parking, it was a huge deal for us,” Garman told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. But now that’s changed.
“I really think this is really going to affect business for us and the neighborhood,” he added.
Garman, and other businesses on the five-block stretch of Franklin just north of Interstate-275, told CL that early this month, the City of Tampa Parking Division activated new pay-by-plate parking meters on Franklin Street.
Free parking is no longer an option for business owners, employees and patrons of businesses in the emergent district that acts like a connective tissue between downtown and Tampa Heights. According to business owners, the meters turned on Dec. 3.
Fed Revolte, City of Tampa Parking Divisions Manager, told CL the process of transitioning from free to paid parking began
over three years ago and that the city has “not received pushback from the community.”
Hope Donnelly is the owner of Rialto Theatre at 1617 N Franklin St., she said there is more to Revolte’s statement.
“We pushed back heavily, but we weren’t given the opportunity,” she said. “They didn’t get negative feedback because they didn’t give anybody advance notice.”
Donnelly said business owners received an unclear message from the city, stating there would be a meeting regarding “great improvements coming up” for the community, but never clearly stating the meter installations.
“It wasn’t a very serious facade. It wasn’t super clear. We get there (meeting) and we’re being told that they’re putting in parking meters in three weeks, and there’s nothing we can do about it,” she said.
Cheong Choi opened Cafe Hey in 2007. He said he feels as if Tampa is going about the wrong way of fixing an issue.
“The problem is that a lot of people park here and just go downtown, which isn’t great for our business, but putting out the meters
is, in fact, going to choke off more business,” Choi said.
Choi, whose family opened the nearby Oceanic Market in 1980, said his biggest concern is attracting and retaining new customers.
“They are coming in to spend five to $15 in here and hang out a little, they are not going to add $6 for parking. That is doubling the amount they were planning on spending,” Choi said.
Revolte said the meters were planned based on the demand and proximity of Ybor City. Parking is $2 an hour.
For employees, and to cover demand for nights and weekends, Revolte said the plan is using a recently surfaced lot in Tampa Heights where monthly parking would work on a first-come, first-serve basis. The rate will be $38.72 a month and it is located three blocks away from Franklin Street, Revolte said.
“I hear a lot of local politicians and council people tout on the backs of the cool neighborhoods and the small businesses,” Donnelly said. “They will attend grand openings and say they support small business…And yet, when I have faced challenges with construction services, with code, with development, I do not receive support that I would expect by the conversations in the public messages that are sent out.”
Revolte said they are actively working with business owners who shared their concerns.
LOCAL NEWS
Yellow Brick Row, which runs north-south between E Kay Street and Palm Avenue, is marked by its historic yellow brick, murals and industrial touches, according to the Tampa Downtown Partnership.
For Kate Swann, owner and educator at Florida School of Woodwork since 2009, the biggest issue will be planning around her employees and students, who are physically there from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m..
“We will now have to tell students there is an additional cost to coming here. That is going to have a detrimental impact on my business. So it is literally penalizing small businesses,” Swann said.
Donnelly at the Rialto Theatre said there is a clear difference between the city’s excitement and its administrative support when it comes to small businesses.
Cafe Hey serves its beloved menu for breakfast and lunch while often transforming into a hub for punk concerts and comedy at night. It’s long been a stronghold of creative culture and predated since-closed a since-closed food hall a few blocks north. In 2022, Mergeculture gallery spearheaded exciting “Bloom On Franklin” block parties.
The northernmost end of Yellow Brick Row will soon see construction of a more-than-six-acre mixed use development anchored by a multi-story YMCA, 200-room luxury hotel, plus retail and office space—and 1,444 parking spaces. That project won’t break ground until early-2026 and will take roughly five years to finish according to the YMCA.
“ …it is literally penalizing small businesses.”
NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE: Tara Zanzig’s ‘Yellow Brick Row’ mural in Tampa Heights.
JULIA SAAD
Gayle’s force
New bill would limit development in state parks.
By News Service of Florida
Months after Gov. Ron DeSantis’ administration introduced controversial plans to bring golf courses, resort-style lodges and pickleball courts to state parks, a Stuart lawmaker filed a measure to make such proposed changes off-limits.
State Sen. Gayle Harrell last Wednesday filed a bill (SB 80) that would strike golf courses, tennis courts, pickleball courts and ball fields from recreational uses at state parks.
The Stuart Republican’s proposal, dubbed the “State Park Preservation Act,” also would limit camping cabins to a maximum of six occupants. Harrell filed the bill for consideration during the 2025 legislative session that begins March 4.
Harrell was among lawmakers and residents who erupted after the state Department of Environmental Protection in August released plans for what was called the “Great Outdoors Initiative.”
The plan targeting nine parks included three proposed golf courses at Jonathan Dickinson State Park in Martin County, which is located in Harrell’s Senate district.
DeSantis paused the plan amid bipartisan uproar, calling the initiative “half-baked.”
Island State Park in Pinellas County, Camp Helen State Park in Bay County, Dr. Von D. Mizell-Eula Johnson State Park in Broward County, Grayton Beach State Park in Walton County and Hillsborough River State Park in Hillsborough County.
Harrell’s bill would prohibit construction activities within a state park which “may cause significant harm to the resources” of the park.
Her measure also would ban construction of lodges.
Read about more bills filed in the new legislative session below.
Chemtrails, condo loopholes, and more: Florida lawmakers are already filing bills for the 2025 legislative session
State senators are off to a quick start filing bills as they gear up for the 2025 legislative session, which begins March 4.
ENVIRONMENT
He also maintained that the proposed golf courses at Jonathan Dickinson were being “misrepresented” because they would have been placed in an area within the 11,500-acre park that was once a military base.
Harrell’s proposal would require state parks to be “managed in a manner that will provide the greatest combination of benefits to the public and to the land’s natural resources.”
The bill would allow parks to offer, among other things, fishing, camping, bicycling, hiking, swimming, boating, canoeing, horseback riding, jogging, sailing, diving “and similar conservation based public recreational uses.”
The proposal would prohibit “sports that require sporting facilities, such as golf courses, tennis courts, pickleball fields, and other similar facilities.”
The Department of Environmental Protection’s scrapped plan also would have allowed lodges with up to 350 rooms at Anastasia State Park in St. Johns County and Topsail Hill Preserve State Park in Walton County.
The Topsail Hill plans also included four pickleball courts and a disc golf course in an “underutilized” area.
Additional cabins, pickleball courts or disc golf also were proposed for Oleta River State Park in Miami-Dade County, Honeymoon
Senate President Ben Albritton, R-Wauchula, and House Speaker Daniel Perez, R-Miami, officially took over as leaders of their respective chambers for the next two years during an organizational session last month. House and Senate committees will meet in parts of December, January and February to start sifting through proposals in the lead-up to the 60-day session.
Bills filed so far for consideration during the 2025 session include:
• A measure (SB 48) aimed at closing loopholes used in condo foreclosure auctions.
• A proposal (SB 58) that would amend boating laws and add the death of an “unborn child” to the definition “vessel homicide” through reckless boat operations that cause injury to the mother.
• A bill (SB 46) that would establish a list of programs and degrees a nonpublic, religious postsecondary educational institution may offer to be exempt from state licensure.
• A proposal (SB 56) seeking to prohibit the injection, release, or dispersion of chemicals or an apparatus into the atmosphere “for the express purpose of affecting the temperature, the weather, or the intensity of sunlight.”
The measures filed last month by Sens. Ileana Garcia, R-Miami, Ana Maria Rodriguez, R-Doral, and Jonathan Martin, R-Fort Myers, aren’t the first bills that were filed for the upcoming session that begins March 4.
In August, senators were able to start filing bills that seek payments for people who suffered injuries and damages because of actions of state and local government agencies.
The proposals, known as “claim” bills, are needed, at least in part, because of a state sovereign-immunity law that generally limits the amounts of money government agencies can be forced to pay in lawsuits to $200,000 or $300,000, depending on how many people are involved. Claim bills allow payments that are higher than the limits.
State lawmakers filed 1,902 bills, memorials or resolutions—including duplicate proposals filed by the House and Senate—for the 2024 legislative session, which ended in March. Gov. Ron DeSantis signed 299 of the measures into law and vetoed 14 bills. The bill totals don’t include thousands of funding requests legislators put forward for local projects, services and organizations.
Unlike their Senate counterparts, state representatives are limited to filing seven standalone bills.
Perez earlier this month revamped the House bill-filing process, saying House members “seemed to have been under the mistaken impression that their bills would automatically appear on a committee session” over the past two years.
“Going forward, if you wish a chair to consider hearing your bill, you will be required to ask the chair in writing to place your bill on the agenda. Your request must also include information on your anticipated Senate companion bill. Please note that while sending a letter will be a procedural prerequisite to a bill being placed on an agenda, it will not be, by itself, sufficient. Members will be expected to work their bills and fully engage not only with the chairs but with the members of the committee,” Perez wrote in a Nov. 13 memo.
Perez also created a new process for bills to be analyzed by staff members, which he said is aimed at improving “readability, usefulness, and interactivity.”
The revised procedure “will present new challenges for our staff both in adapting our current practices and in integrating the new technological features into their work,” Perez wrote in a Nov. 15 memo to members. “But we believe the outcome will be worth it. We hope this new bill analysis will enhance our understanding of issues and better prepare us to make the decisions that the people of Florida have elected us to make.”
HARRELL, YEAH: SB 80 would strike golf courses from recreational uses at state parks.
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High time Florida says it will award 22 new medical marijuana licenses.
By Christine Sexton/Florida Phoenix
Florida is finally awarding 22 highly soughtafter medical marijuana licenses nearly 18 months after the applications were submitted and reviewed by state authorities.
The state’s medical marijuana industry is tightly regulated and only those with a license can cultivate, process, and sell medical marijuana. The state announced its decision to award the 22 additional licenses after 5 p.m., on the eve of the state being closed in advance of Thanksgiving.
Once the decision is final it will bring to 47 the number of medical marijuana licenses in the state.
But Tuesday’s decision can be and will be appealed, say those involved in the industry. Rejected vendors have 21 days from Nov. 26 to notify the state in writing of their intent to appeal.
show centered around Belushi’s efforts in the cannabis business.
Amendment 3
Florida is expanding the medical marijuana market just weeks after Amendment 3 failed to reach the 60% threshold needed to pass. The initiative sought to allow the sale of recreational marijuana in the state.
WEED
“Pretty much anybody who received a denial of license letter is pretty much going to appeal the license. It’s going to hold up the licensing process significantly, because more likely than not the licenses will not be issued until that litigation process is over, and that litigation process might take six months to a year, probably on the longer side,” said Paula Savchenko, attorney and cannabis industry consultant. “And we may see a legislative fix but, obviously, nothing is guaranteed.”
Savchenko represented Belushi’s Farm Florida, which is linked to actor Jim Belushi. He has operated a 93-acre farm in Oregon since 2015 and the Discovery Channel has aired a
Gov. Ron DeSantis campaigned against the amendment and routinely criticized Trulieve, the company that spent more than $140 million on the effort, as having a monopoly on the Florida medical marijuana market. But the company pushed back on the governor’s remarks by urging his administration to finally issue the 22 licenses after months of unexplained delay.
Trulieve issued a statement saying it was pleased the licenses are “finally issued.”
“We continue to look forward to working with the governor and legislature to expand access to safe lab-tested cannabis for Floridians,” the company said in a statement.
Seventy-four applications were submitted to the state from entities seeking the license.
Florida Phoenix is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Florida Phoenix maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Michael Moline for questions: info@floridaphoenix.com. Follow Florida Phoenix on Facebook and X.
HERB HARVEST: Only licenseholders can cultivate, process, and sell medical marijuana.
RESTAURANTS RECIPES DINING GUIDES
AND SESAME: Mighty Fine’s ‘Deluxe
Fine as hell
Mighty Fine serves refined, yet unpretentious, pub grub out of Tampa’s Late Start Brewing.
By Kyla Fields
The recently-opened Late Start Brewing and its culinary counterpart Mighty Fine live at the quiet northeast corner of the Tampa Downtown Partnership, where Ybor City meets the Channel District. Late Start Brewing had a long-awaited opening last September after hoping to debut in 2022. Mighty Fine—helmed by longtime Florida chef and native Tampeño Nathan Hardin—has been a welcome addition to the local food scene.
Refined bar grub is offered at lunch and dinner, alongside breakfast options of tacos, bowls and of course, churros; throughout the unassuming brewery menu, Hardin’s fine dining experience and penchant for detail shines. Late Start offers a variety of fruited sours, citrusy IPAs and dark porters that complement Mighty Fine’s spread of burgers, sandwiches and shareables. While most breweries in Tampa Bay shy away from in-house food service and opt for third party food trucks instead, the symbiotic relationship between Late Start Brewing
and its 300 square-foot open kitchen makes for a seamless dining and drinking experience— the simple execution of two menus that were designed to work in tandem together.
Late Start—located at 1018 E Cass St.—can feel like an entirely different place depending on the time of day. At 11 a.m. on a weekday, it boasts cozy, coworking vibes, while one may encounter a low lit, bar-like atmosphere with bumping music and televised sports games on a Saturday night. Its Wi-Fi password is even on display for all of the remote workers sipping on coffee and munching on tacos, a semi-rare phenomenon since other coffee shops may not explicitly welcome guests who are in for the long haul.
RESTAURANT REVIEW
tortillas brushed with duck fat. Both its bacon and chorizo tacos come with scrambled eggs, Chihuahua cheese and tater tots, with just a slight variation of sauces and toppings between the two. Its Tex-Mex inspired, vegetarian “migas” taco features scrambled eggs, avocado, Chihuahua cheese, pico and totopos (aka crispy little corn tortillas), while its only breakfast bowl is basically a combination of its three taco options.
Mighty Fine at Late Start Brewing 1018 E Cass St., Tampa. @mightyfinetpa on Instagram
During daytime service, Mighty Fine offers a menu of $5 breakfast tacos on homemade
With the bowl starting at $10, $5 tacos (which are much larger than street tacos, on a tortilla that’s about seven inches in circumference), $4 hashbrowns and Mighty Fine’s beloved breakfast churros coming in at $6 per serving—these daytime offerings are extremely affordable and its a la carte pricing makes it easy to customize to your liking.
The tacos are light—due in part to the fluffy eggs—but still deliver a salty bite from the tots, freshness from the cilantro and onion and a tart spice from their accompanying salsas. They’re perfect for one-handed eating if the other still needs to attend to your laptop’s keyboard. Mighty Fine’s coffee program is a welcome addition to its breakfast spread, offering all of the expected options like cold brew, lattes, cappuccinos, match and chai—although its food and beer program may outshine its espresso bar by a slight margin. While retail bags of Late Start Brewing’s beans are available for purchase, they don’t offer much information about the origin of the beans—like what farm grew the beans, what altitude they were grown at, whether they are single origin or not and what tasting notes they boast. Local coffee snobs seek this information out when looking for shops to frequent, and Late Start Brewing’s program may not be up to par for these folks.
continued on page 35
TASTE
Boi’ comes with ‘shrettuce’ on the perfect bun.
DAVE DECKER
Taste the Sunshine:
continued from page 33
From 11 a.m.-11:30 a.m, Mighty Fine takes a pause from service while its staff pivots to the lunch and dinner menu that’s served for the remainder of the day.
Mighty Fine’s smash burgers—which just might be the most popular handheld on its menu thus far—are certainly not an item to miss.
Hardin told Supernatural Wine & Food owner Wesley Roderick that Mighty Fine’s beloved burger is an “old school, west coast version of a smash burger.” There’s absolutely nothing dry about its “Classic Boi” smash burger (since moistness is one of the main concerns of pub-style burger lovers), loaded with homemade pickles, yellow American cheese and “special sauce” on a pillowy potato bun. Things go up a notch with its $9.50 “Deluxe Boi” burger, which comes with “shrettuce” (which should be trademarked), tomato, pickles, shaved onion and special sauce loaded on what can be considered the perfect sesame bun.
Other options that utilize this prized sesame bun include its Southern-meets-Korean fried chicken sandwich—another must-try item alongside the smash burger. The skin-on, boneless chicken thigh is marinated in buttermilk before its breaded, twice-fried, sauced up, and topped with shaved onion, shrettuce and a touch of yuzu.
In 2019, Hardin told Michelle Stark that “one of the big things that drives creativity for me is nostalgia”—and a handful of years and one pandemic later, that sentiment rings true throughout the Mighty Fine menu. There’s a shelved partition between the kitchen itself and where the front-of-house takes your order, and it feels like a deep dive into Hardin’s approach to Mighty Fine. Amongst the boxes of saltines, buckets of Lawry’s seasoning and large containers of Duke’s mayo are dozens of cookbooks, a molcajete for salsas, framed photos, knick knacks and DVDs—this familiar, tschotske-filled corner of the brewery juxtaposes the rest of the concept’s sleek, minimal decor and adds a ton of character to the natural light-filled space.
Between the moniker itself—inspired by one of Hardin’s grandfather’s go-to phrases—and the chili-smothered dog that pays homage to his family’s roots, Mighty Fine is clearly a passion project in which so much personal preference, personality and nostalgia are on display.
RESTAURANT REVIEW
While the menu uses the word “Asian-ish” to describe the sauce on the chicken sammie, its notes of miso and yuzu may be slightly lost in its ultra-crunchy, savory fried chicken—which leans into the “ish” part of that description. There’s a nuggified version of the sandwich that’s almost reminiscent of karaage, and it utilizes the “Miso-Bama BBQ” as a dipping sauce, too.
Other hearty eats offered on Mighty Fine’s lunch and dinner menu include a classic patty melt on sourdough bread from Miami’s Sullivan Street Bakery, as well as a homage to Hardin’s family’s Cincinnati roots with a cheddar cheeseloaded chili coney hot dog (which still maintains an ideal snap), and the fried mortadella sandwich with American cheese and horseradish cream.
Housemade green pimento with hatch chiles can be ordered with a side of fried saltines (genius), or stacked on a sammie with American cheese, bacon, mustard and spicy pickles.
For dessert, there’s only one of them at Mighty Fine—which is usually a telltale sign that’s going to be pretty damn good.
An icebox cake is always on the menu, with its first iteration being a play on banana pudding with Nilla wafers and whipped cream cheese. Currently, Mighty Fine offers a Biscoff cookie butter-based icebox cake, Hardin’s modern interpretation of the no-bake dessert that was popularized in the 1920’s by American companies like Nabisco.
The longtime chef and native Tampeño has a learned career that includes time at fine dining eateries in Orlando and Miami, the nowclosed Hyde Park spot Copperfish Grill & Oyster Bar, Hotel Haya and most recently, Armature Works’ Steelbach. After helming the southern cuisine-focused kitchen at Steelbach for several years, Hardin pivoted to his own pop-up and private dinner company called Gather, where he and his now-wife Amber Carregal catered events and parties throughout Tampa Bay. Through Gather, Hardin was able to explore a wide variety of cuisines, creatively challenge himself and branch out as a business owner as well as an executive chef.
Mighty Fine, however, seems like almost a return home for Hardin, who’s now able to create food that not only he enjoys eating, but is also inspired by his family and upbringing. The menu is unapologetically hearty and made without pretense. And it’s absolutely refreshing to see a notable Tampa chef do whatever the hell they want (and have fun doing it.)
While not many places in Tampa have been able to harness the tricky balance of an all-day service, Mighty Fine and Late Start Brewing have created a seamless drinking, eating and late-night experience.
Mighty Fine and Late Start Brewing are open from 8 a.m.-10 p.m. Wednesday-Thursday, 8 a.m.midnight on Friday-Saturday, 8 p.m.-10 p.m. on Sunday and closed on Monday-Tuesday. Coffee service runs until 2 p.m. on weekdays and noon on weekends, although cold brew is available all day. Breakfast is served from 8:30 a.m.-11 a.m., with its lunch and dinner running from 11:30 a.m. until an hour before Late Start closes. Follow both @mightyfinetpa and @latestartbrewing on Instagram.
POUR DECISIONS: Mighty Fine and Late Start have created a seamless drinking, eating and late-night experience.
VOTED
Bakers, man
New Alessi location plans to open mid-2025, and more food news.
By Riley Benson
Alocal icon is on the move, but it’s not going very far. That's right, West Tampa deli and bakery Alessi is finally making strides on its new location.
Earlier this year, Alessi, a family-owned business that’s been a staple in Tampa for over a century, shared its plans. While records from the Hillsborough County Property Appraiser website stated that the new location was purchased in 2022, construction on the spot—in the historic Tampa Letter Carriers’ former building at 3003 W Cypress St. just 500 feet away—only recently started with an estimated mid-2025 opening date.
Records from the City of Tampa show that Alessi is teaming up with JVB Architect, a Best of the Bay Reader’s Choice Winner for Best Architect, on the buildout. The firm has previously worked on restaurants like Bavaro’s, Whiskey Joe’s in Pensacola, and World of Beer. Tampa Bay Business and Wealth says the new location plans on opening in the middle of next year.
Alessi Bakery initially opened its doors in 1912, serving its iconic cakes, Cuban sandwiches
and baked goods in Tampa. It’s been at its current location for over five decades, with four generations of the family at the helm.
Alessi’s current location is still open, with no announced closing date yet.—Riley Benson
Treasure Island’s VIP Mexican restaurant opens food truck as it recovers from hurricane damage
Like many neighboring businesses, The VIP Mexican Restaurant & Lounge in Treasure Island was badly damaged by Hurricane Helene. Extensive flooding inside caused enough damage to the infrastructure and equipment that the restaurant had to be completely gutted. According to a social media post, the devastating hit occurred just shy of the 30th anniversary of VIP’s current owners taking over.
Delays with getting permitting approvals has made it all the more difficult to move forward with the renovation process. In an effort to help staff members get back on their feet, VIP hosted a handful of “VI Free” events on the back patio where loyal patrons could
come get a free margarita in exchange for donations to the hardworking crew. The community was quick to rally and eagerly filled the patio while chatting with other longtime regulars who were happy to have even a small sense of normalcy.
Just before Thanksgiving, VIP offered a welcome update that a food trailer, rented from Sea Dog, will now operate with a very limited menu.
In an effort to make light of the situation, the menu is being called the “Shitty Circumstances Menu” and offers chips with salsa ($4) and guac ($11), tacos ($4), and the restaurant’s famous “wet” burrito ($10-$12). Guests can order from the outdoor bar and find a seat, before an employee brings their food when it’s ready. Don’t worry, the famously strong margaritas are available, too, ($7 & up).
Tampa’s Bern’s Steak House ranked among OpenTable’s ‘Top 100 Restaurants in America for 2024’
Bern’s Steak House, an iconic Tampa institution that is no stranger to praise, is among the year’s top-rated restaurants in the country, according to OpenTable.
OPENINGS
Last month, the popular restaurant reservation site revealed its annual “Top 100 Restaurants in America” list, and Bern’s was the only Tampa Bay restaurant to make the cut. The South Tampa steak house (located at 1208 S Howard Ave), was also listed among OpenTable’s top restaurants in 2023.
As a whole, Florida wasn’t well-represented on this year’s list. The only other Florida eateries to make the cut were Buccan in Palm Beach, Dry Dock Waterfront Grill in Longboat Key, and Sails Restaurant in Naples.
The temporary concept is now open Thursday-Sunday from 1 p.m.- 7 p.m. behind the restaurant at 10625 Gulf Blvd. on Treasure Island. Hours may need to be adjusted as construction progresses. “We will continue to operate out of the food truck until we get the restaurant back up and running. The timeline on this is unclear,” VIP added.—Jourdan Ducat
Bern’s, which typically has a comically-long wait list for reservations, has won multiple Best of The Bay awards from Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, including “Best Steak House.” The restaurant also earned a James Beard Foundation medal for outstanding wine program in 2016, was deemed one of “The World’s Best Steakhouses” by Forbes in 2023, and is currently listed in Florida’s Michelin Guide.—Colin Wolf
GREENER PASTURES: Alessi’s new spot is just 500 feet away from the current location.
Wednesday, December 18 / Doors: 5:45pm, Show: 7:00pm
Pinky Patel : #isaidwhatisaid Tour
@ Funny Bone Comedy CLub
1600 East 8th Ave, C-112, Tampa
GA - $37 • VIP - $62
https://bit.ly/PinkyPatel
Madame Fortune Dessert + HiFi Parlour
1930 E. 7th Avenue C, Tama @MadameFortuneTPA on Instagram
The Bricks 1327 E 7th Ave, Tampa www.thebricksybor.com
Rosenheim Restaurant
2001 N 22nd St, Tampa https://middleeasternrestauranttampa.com
Industrious Coworking Space
1600 E. 8th Avenue A200, Tampa
Once a movie theater, Located in the heart of Ybor City, Industrious Centro Ybor is a unique and flexible workplace, with dedicated offices, and on-demand meeting space with all-inclusive amenities and benefits https://www.industriousoffice.com/ locations/1600-e-8th-avenue-a200
Dysfunctional Grace
1704 1/2 E. 7th Avenue, Second Floor, Tampa
The only shop in Ybor where death and dysfunction dance in a graceful ballet. https://www.dysfunctionalgrace.shop/
Seventh Avenue Candles
3810 E. 7th Ave. Tampa
Premium apothecary candles steeped in a rich family heritage https://seventhavenuecandles.com/
THINGS TO DO
MOVIES THEATER ART CULTURE
Holly days
Where to find lights, Christmas trees, Santa, snowballs and other holiday activities.
By CL staff
The holiday season is upon us, and it’s the perfect opportunity to get together with family and enjoy some (fake) snow, holiday lights or some quality time on an old guy’s lap at the mall. If you’re looking for a tree, or just a good time with some egg nog, we’ve got a fun and festive list of places for you to check out around Tampa Bay this Christmas season.
Blue Acres Christmas Tree Farm Blue Acres has tons of trees in a variety of shapes and sizes. Pick out a pre-cut tree or chop down your own, and grab a handmade wreath while you’re at it. Entry into the farm is free, and activities include cornhole, visits from Santa, swings and the chance to meet some of the farm’s free range livestock that will be roaming around. 20638 Moreland Dr., Spring Hill. blueacreschristmastreefarm.com
Chick-fil-A light display An iconic Tampa tradition, the Chick-fil-A on Waters Avenue has displayed millions of Christmas lights every year for over two decades. It honestly doesn’t feel like Christmas until you experience the drive-thru and grab a lil’ spicy chicken sandwich on the way out. Through Jan. 4. 6299 W Waters Ave.,Tampa
Christmas in the Wild Boasting one of Tampa Bay’s biggest light displays, ZooTampa provides a unique holiday experience featuring wildlife in addition to more traditional festivities, such as visits with Santa and holiday shows and entertainment. Food and drink will also be available, and tickets start at $29.95. Through Dec. 23. 1101 W. Sligh Ave., Tampa. zootampa.org
Christmas Lane at Florida Strawberry Festival Over 1.5 million Christmas lights, as well as over 200 trees. There’s a light maze, nightly entertainment, visits from Santa, and a KidZone for the little ones that includes face painting and DIY ornament decorating. Through Dec. 24. 2508 West Oak Ave., Plant City. christmaslane.com
Christmas Town Sing along to your favorite holiday tunes while you have views of giraffes, rhinos and zebras. While you’re there you can meet Rudolph and Santa as well as his elves while they’re hard at work in his workshop. There will be plenty of shows, live
entertainment, and seasonal bites (shout out to the braised short rib with smoked gouda mac ‘n’ cheese) and drinks. Through Jan. 5. 10165 McKinley Dr., Tampa. buschgardens.com
Dave’s Christmas Tree Lot Dave’s offers a wide variety of hand-selected Christmas trees from North Carolina. If you’d like, you can get your tree decorated with “flocking flair,” an artificial snow dust in your color of choice. If you’re feeling lazy, Dave’s even offers a delivery and removal service to make your holidays as stress-
via delivery or pickup, Great Lakes Christmas Tree Farms has what you need. This tree shop is as straightforward as it gets, with Michigangrown trees, wreaths, garlands and poinsettias. All the basics are covered. 5302 E. Diana St., Tampa. greatlakeschristmastreefarms.com
Ergle Christmas Tree Farm Featuring a wide variety of imported Christmas trees as well as live potted trees, Eargle Christmas Tree Farm has plenty of choices for your holiday decor. All of that chopping can work up an appetite, so if you’re looking for a snack, be sure to visit concessions for some soda, hot dogs and boiled peanuts. The Christmas train is back, too. 3331 Treiman Blvd., Dade City. ergletrees.com
Festival of Lights and Santa’s Village at Hillsborough County Fairgrounds This annual family favorite event features a nearly
free as possible. 106 E Lumsden Ave., Brandon. daveschristmastreelot.com
Gallagher’s Christmas Trees The perfect one-stop-shop for Christmas trees and pumpkins over the holiday season. This year, the shop celebrates 37 years of business and continues to offer free entry and parking, as well both professional and amateur photo opportunities. After you pick out your favorite tree, be sure to browse the poinsettias and handmade wreaths. 7401 4th St. N, St. Petersburg. gallagherspumpkinsandchristmastrees.com
Great Lakes Christmas Tree Farms If you’re looking for a pre-cut tree that you can get
two-mile long continuous drive through holiday lights, followed by Santa’s village at the end, including rides, an inflatable snow tube, festive lights and holiday treats, as well as live music on select nights and a new “Santa’s Winter Woodland” attraction. Prices start at $25 per car for just the drive-thru, and $30 per car when the village is open, with season passes available for purchase. Through Dec. 29. 215 Sydney Washer Rd., Dover. hillsboroughcountyfair.com/events
Holiday Lights in The Gardens Florida Botanical Gardens celebrates its annual holiday lights event, featuring one million lights, and laser light shows. Suggested donation for
admission is $10, and free for children 12 and under. Through Jan. 4. 12520 Ulmerton Rd., Largo. flbgfoundation.org
Holiday Lighted Boat Parade at Tampa Riverwalk Beginning at 6:15 p.m. at the southern tip of Davis Islands, traveling through the Convention Center basin and the Heights, and turning around at Sparkman Wharf, this parade features registered boaters who will all receive prizes for their holiday-themed vessels. Saturday, Dec. 21, Downtown Tampa. thetampariverwalk.com
Holidays at Legoland Legoland is currently offering a holiday experience featuring a Lego Christmas tree decorated with lights, as well as seasonal shows, an interactive character crew, visits from Santa and of course, access to the theme park. Select dates through Dec. 31. 1 Legoland Way., Winter Haven. legoland.com
Largo Central Park Admission to the 70-acre park, featuring over two million twinkly lights, is free, but the ferris wheel and carousel will cost you. Rides are $6 a piece, or $50 for ten rides. Food and drinks will be available for purchase, as well. Through. Dec. 29. 101 Central Park Dr., Largo. playlargo.com
Lazy Lay Acres Christmas Tree Farm Lazy Lay keeps it simple. If you are looking for a Christmas tree, you’ll find plenty there. If you’d like, you can even chop down your own. This family owned and operated farm has been open for over 30 years, and offers a petting zoo so there will be furry friends to keep you company on your hunt for the perfect tree. 14920 Swift Rd., Dade City. lazylayacres.com
North Pole Express at Florida Railroad Museum What is Christmas without some version of Polar Express? Hop aboard the North Pole Express to enjoy a ride from Parrish to the “North Pole.” Once you get there, you’ll be greeted by Santa, and have the opportunity to enjoy campfires, activities and entertainment, as well as hot chocolate and cookies (which are included with your train ticket). Ticket prices vary depending on date and departure time. Select dates through Dec. 22. 12210 83rd St. E, Parrish. frrm.org/north-pole-express
Northstar Wisconsin Christmas Trees Northstar is once again serving the Bay area, offering delivery as well as setup for your tree of choice. This spot offers both Wisconsin Fraser Fir trees and North Carolina Fraser Firs. You can also pick up a Christmas tree stand, wreaths, garlands, tabletop trees and swag while you’re there. 12949 66th St. N., Largo. northstarwisconsinchristmastrees.com continued on page 44
WILD AND OUT: There’s a lot to love at Christmas In the Wild.
SUNDAY, DEC 15 | 10:30 AM-2:15 PM
BIRDING ON THE BAY
WITH THE MFA AND TAMPA BAY WATCH DISCOVERY CENTER
Inspired by the MFA’s special exhibition Audubon’s Birds of America, enjoy a Docent-led exhibition tour and an eco-vessel birding experience
THURSDAY, DEC 19 | 5-8 PM
HOLIDAY SOIRÉE 2024
Experience the enchantment of the season and delight in the festive atmosphere, where live music sets the tone for a joyous evening. Explore the MFA Collection galleries, where art comes alive in the spirit of the holidays.
Oakdale Christmas Light Display This free event features a half-acre Christmas light display, as well as a 70-foot-tall Christmas tree. There will also be a 18 train railroad with 16 carnival rides. Make sure to check out the talking and dancing life-sized snowman, and an animated-talking Teddy bear. Through Jan. 3. 2719 Oakdale St. S, St. Petersburg. christmasdisplay.org
Pirate Water Taxi River of Lights The Pirate Taxi will be cruising around providing views of holiday decorations along the water in downtown Tampa. For this year’s “River of Lights,” guests can expect plenty of holiday displays, story-telling, an elf host, beer and wine for purchase, and a snow flurry finale. Tickets start at $25 for kids and $35 for adults, and children will receive a holiday gift during the ride. Through Dec. 30. 333 S Franklin St., Tampa. piratewatertaxi.com
Raprager Family Farm and Christmas Extravaganza This holiday-themed festival has plenty of festive activities to keep you in the Christmas spirit. From visits from Santa, to its very own grouchy green holiday hater, Mr. Grunch (yes, you read that right), to axe
throwing. There will also be a corn pit, a sweet shop, Christmas town, Santa’s workshop, and for an extra charge you can partake in pony rides, face painting and gem mining. Selects dates through Dec. 22. 16907 Boy Scout Rd., Odessa. rapragerfamilyfarms.com
Santa’s Christmas Tree Forest For the 35th year in a row, Santa’s Christmas Tree Forest is offering DIY Christmas tree harvesting. Pre-cut trees are available, as well. So if you’re scared of splinters you can save yourself the trouble. On select dates, there will be activities such as visits from Santa, a maze, a petting zoo, a giant slide, horseback and pony riding, and even a zip-line. Through Dec. 22. 35317 Huff Rd., Eustis. santaschristmastreeforest.com
THINGS TO DO
Santa’s Flight Academy At International Plaza, you can meet Santa and his elves. This is a great spot to take professional pictures with Mr. Claus and his 22-foot high sleigh. Reservations are recommended, though walk-ins are welcome, as well. Through Dec. 24. 2223 N Westshore Blvd., Tampa. shopinternationalplaza.com
Snowcat Ridge Snowcat Ridge returns this year with Snowy Slopes, a 60-foot-tall,
400-foot-long snow tubing hill featuring single, tandem and 10 person tubes. There is also the Arctic Igloo, with a play area, snowball fights and a Bunny Slope ride for children 3 years and under, and the Crystal Ribbon, the park’s own lighted ice skating rink. Santa’s Christmas Lane, also gives kid’s a chance to meet the Big Man himself. Parties can also rent out private igloos with fire pits and refreshments, and guests can do some holiday shopping at the Alpine Village while sipping hot chocolate and roasting s’mores. Ticket prices vary depending on date. Select days through March 2. 27839 St Joe Rd., Dade City. snowcatridge.com
Symphony in Lights Featuring a light show that dances along to Christmas tunes, Symphony in Lights will yet again host this popular festive family-friendly holiday event with food and drink as well as Christmas trees and snowfall. The event runs from 6 p.m.-9 p.m. Through Dec. 31. Wiregrass Mall, 28211 Paseo Dr., Wesley Chapel. @shopsatwiregrass on Instagram
Winter Village at Curtis Hixon Park Curtis Hixon Park is hosting its annual Christmas-themed funzone, including ice skating, shops, a cafe, curling tournaments, and the Winter Village Express train that takes you on a joy ride throughout Tampa featuring snacks, trivia and singalongs. Park entry is free, but activities and snacks are not. Through Jan. 5. 600 N Ashley Dr., Tampa. wintervillagetampa.com
Winter Wonderland Clearwater For three decades, Clearwater Community Volunteers have hosted Winter Wonderland Clearwater, a festive charity event that benefits the children of Pinellas County. Admission is free, but guests are asked to donate gifts/non-perishable goods, in exchange for the opportunity to enjoy activities such as a visit from Santa, cookie decorating with Mrs. Claus, a holiday train and a hot chocolate shop. Although it doesn’t cost anything to get in, be sure to bring some cash for food, drinks and rides. Through Dec. 23, 6 p.m.-9 p.m. 201 N Fort Harrison Ave. Clearwater. @winterwonderlandclearwater on Facebook
Tampa Bay Farmers Market This spot is known for its fresh fruits and veggies, but come Christmas time, trees are on the menu, as well. While you’re at it, be sure to check out the wreaths, poinsettias, garlands, firewood and holiday decor. 10001 N Armenia Ave., Tampa. tampabayfarmersmarket.com
SNOW-M-G: Snow Cat Ridge is back in Dade City.
By Josh Bradley
THU 12
C Edhochuli w/The Caution Children/ Pavlov’s Bell/Spiritual Chaos Ed Hochuli refereed a lot of games during his 28-season run as an official for the National Football League, and while he retired in 2017, he gets to live on thanks to Pittsburgh psychedelicrock quintet Edhochuli (stylized all-lowercase).
“Our former drummer Garett Mount, our guitar player Dave Rath and I got drunk and watched a Steelers game. We thought Steelers The Band was not a very good band name,” bassist John Ahn told New Noise Magazine about the moniker. “Ed Hochuli was the referee of the game. Since he looked nice, we chose him.” Hochuli (and his son, also an NFL ref) are, indeed, fine-looking gentlemen, but so are the boys in the band who’ve added texture and theatrics to their once math-rock-centric sound. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa)—Ray Roa
C Nate Najar’s Jazz Holiday Jeff Rupert has a busy week in the Bay area that kicks off in Ybor City for Tampa Jazz Club’s Sunday matinee. The tenor saxophonist wraps up his stay onstage for this 18th “Jazz Holiday” concert from Nate Najar. Rupert, Director of Jazz Studies at the University of Central Florida, plays on Najar’s 2017 Woodward Avenue Records album Christmas in December, as well as the guitarist’s 2022 Charlie Byrd tribute album, Jazz Samba Pra Sempre . New York City trumpet player Bruce Harris is also in the lineup along with stalwart locals like drummer Jean Bolduc, bassist Joe Porter, Patrick Bettison on piano, plus Carl Amundson on guitar. Vocals will be handled in part by songwriter Daniela Soledade who recently recorded a new holiday song, “On Christmas Night,” with Najar, too. (Hough Hall at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg)—RR
FRI 13
C Anxiety Attack (album release) w/ Walled City/Wormworld/Dead Mirrors
If you haven’t filmed a video that shows a band member getting inked, what is your band even doing? The clip for Anxiety Attack’s uber melodic second single “Lucky Strike” features lead singer Jeremiah Hagan doing just that, and after about a year of other shenanigans (dressing like rednecks, or saluting Tony Hawk’s decade-defining Pro Skater games with a rollicking song of its own) the Tampa outfit's debut album is finally here. At this “Nightmare Before Christmas” shindig, there’ll be a Christmasthemed costume contest, plus free merch at the door, so feel no shame when you rock an ugly sweater this Friday the 13th. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa)
Tampa Indie Night: Rohna w/Faze Wave/ Quail Hollow/Post Sex High We can dream, but I don’t think anybody will complain if Tampa Indie Night ever becomes a monthly affair. Whether it’s in the cards or not, Indie Night returns after a year-long slumber, with the promise that fans will walk away having experienced something brand-new. For one thing, local indie-rock mogul Rohna’s headlining set will introduce John Bruno, a new full-time band member that had a massive hand in helping out on the band’s impending new album, and goes as far back with certain band members as childhood. “He’s probably the only person we would feel comfortable with taking on the role of a fifth member,” the band told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Before Bruno’s big debut, Quail Hollow—semi-fresh off of a soft-yet-meteoric new album—promises a major announcement of its own. Jacksonville quartet Faze Wave will pop in, too. (Crowbar, Ybor City)
C Underoath w/Static Dress There aren’t many homegrown bands bigger than Underoath. The hardcore outfit burst onto the scene almost 30 years ago, and picked up two Grammy nominations along the way (packaging for its album Voyeurist , designed in part by Tampa artist Joel Cook, was also nominated in 2023). In December 2018, the fellas packed 4,600 fans into Yuengling Center, and have already sold-out three of four dates at Jannus Live. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg)—RR
SAT 14
A Cover Show: Jar w/Days Spent/Drawn Out/Defrauded/Awkward Stares/Power Play/Second Impact Boomers aren’t the only demographic clamoring for cover bands. The hard-rock and hardcore scene apparently gets in on the action, too, with Elevated Booking’s seven-band Toys For Tots benefit where the music of Nirvana, Alkaline Trio, Deftones, and Minor Threat is just part of the agenda. Bring a new, unwrapped toy for the kiddos. And if you can’t get over to Tampa on Saturday, Row Jomah has its seventh annual holiday toy drive concert happening in Dunedin at the same time. (Deviant Libation, Tampa)—RR
C Caleb Caudle & The Sweet Critters w/ Geri X Anxiety and sleeplessness are common bedfellows in this day and age—and Caudle knows that all too well. His latest LP, Sweet Critters , is very much a reflection on struggle, especially the poignant duet with Aoife O’Donovan, “The Brim,” where the pair harmonizes about self-worth and feeling. The North Carolina songwriter lands in St. Petersburg’s finest listening room to play on behalf of WMNF-Tampa 88.5-FM, a community radio station where Marcie Finkelstein, host of “Words & Music,” has tracked Caudle’s ascent in the Americana world since 2020. (Bayboro Brewing, St. Petersburg)—RR
continued on page 48
THU DEC. 12–THU DEC. 19
C CL Recommends
Caleb Caudle
C Hallucination Before Christmas: James Zabiela w/ DJ Three/J.Phlip/ Monk/Tommie Sunshine/Lowco/Brian Busto/Gum-B/Metaphysical/more James Zabiela, a pioneer of breakbeat and progressive house music who’s since pivoted to techno, comes to Ybor City this weekend to help the Hallucination Before Christmas continue its nearly three-decades running party and canned food drive. The 45-year-old headlines the revered Halloween-meet-Christmas throwdown where he’s joined by staples of the Tampa dance music scene including Brian Busto, DJ Three, and Monk from Rabbit In The Moon. Advance ticket sales are done, but Hot Wax shops in Ybor City, Tampa and St. Petersburg—plus Foolish Pride Tattoo Co. in St. Pete and Clearwater—have hard tickets if you don’t want to chance it at the door. (The Castle, Ybor City)—RR
C Jordan Esker and the Hundred Percent w/Sorry Barb/TV Breakup Scene With the exception of a small handful of gigs, the eccentric commander behind the
show—her first in town since two springs ago—around a healthy selection of tracks from the godliest of ‘90s holiday albums, along with a pinch of non-Christmasey songs to go. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater)
Omari Dillard The soulful, classicallytrained violin master—who’s head over heels for Prince, Lauryn Hill, and Luther Vandross— brings his latest album Sincerely, Omari to his hometown for his final show of the year. (Ferguson Hall at Straz Center for the Performing Arts, Tampa)
Peace Cult w/Sure Thing/The Pheromones Come springtime, Peace Cult will release a sophomore LP, and the Tampa indie-rock band has already given fans a couple tastes. “Push/Pull” (stylized in all-caps) is the latest single and was borne from the end of a relationship. “We wanted the song to feel as conflicted as the emotions behind it. It’s about the moments when you know you should let go, but the pull of what you once had is still so strong,” the band wrote in a press release. Expect to hear the tune at this gig, which happens under the Grrls Night x Dyke Night banner highlighting queer and feminist bands. (Crowbar, Ybor City)—RR
Razor and the Boogie Men w/Five Hundred Bucks/Miller Lowlifes/Choking on the Revelry It’s gonna be a cruel winter in Philadelphia, so Five Hundred Bucks—a punk outfit that opened for The Menzingers up north last month—is spending a weekend in Florida to push its impending EP Karma Parade .” The gritty, three-track release serves as a soundtrack of sorts to “Bloody Axe Wound,” an upcoming, indie horror picture centered around a teenager discovering that her father captures murders on camera to sell. Justin Goldman of Orlando’s Teen Agers joined the band this year too, so don’t think that Razor and the Boogie Men’s closing set at The Nest will serve as a cleanser for those who are still bitter about the Rays losing the 2008 World Series to the Phillies. (The Nest at St. Pete Brewing Co., St. Petersburg)
SUN 15
“soul/emo/rock/experimental” has seemed pretty quiet in 2024. But Esker’s about to end the year with a milestone accomplishment at Seminole Heights’ favorite indie record store. Ten years ago, Esker and the Hundred Percent dropped their debut album Best Supporting Actor, and since then, the band has seen some lineup changes and new opportunities come about. But on Saturday night, the original Hundred Percent will reconvene (along with some special guests and fellow Esker collaborators) for the ultimate 10th birthday party, with a little help from “Barbcore” alt-pop group Sorry Barb and rock four-piece TV Breakup Scene. (Microgroove, Tampa)
Kathy Mattea Last year marked 30 years since Ms. “Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Roses” released her first Christmas album Good News , a heavily acoustic, gospel-esque collection that features a more religious batch of Christmas songs, including an English version of “Christ Child’s Lullaby” (said to be originally penned in Gaelic). The 65-year-old country singer will center this
potentially get stuck in I-275 traffic on his way to soundcheck this Hard Rock gig, which will see the band continue its tradition of jumbling up the setlist before every show. Yep, every single night, they’re driving us insane. (Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa)
Kenny G Kenneth Bruce Gorelick might not remember raising $2,000 for charity on a flight from Tampa to Los Angeles, but it’s been more than seven years since it happened. Don’t expect the 68-year-old smooth jazz icon better known as Kenny G to mention it either at this “Miracles Holiday and Hits” gig where he’ll play seasonal jams with the flavor that’s earned him 17 Grammy nominations and one win. (The BayCare Sound, Clearwater)—RR
THU 19
C Albert J. Robinson (album release) w/Psych Montano/Zeta the Babe/ Nico Sweet and Pharaoh Unchained/ Goodview/G’on Git ney, Albert J. Robinson has decided that he is content with how much he has accom plished musically. The homegrown rapper started his journey in 2010 after writing his first song in a halfway house, fol lowing mental health issues that caused severe self-harm. From there, Robinson formed a friendship, and released nine studio projects, with fellow rapper and Long Islander-turned-Tampeño Psych Montano. Albert J describes his final album Welcome farewell show—as a project “sequenced to tell a story about spiritual growth and finding love through painful experiences.” Some of those experiences include a harsh breakup, the death of his mother, and a fall from grace. “I have plans to further my creativity through fitness, traveling and developing a more personal relationship with God by learning myself and acquir ing my identity outside of what it is I do,” Robinson told CL, later adding that after this gig, he’ll be deleting his social media and focusing on spending time with his kids and starting up a personal training business.
C Trans-Siberian Orchestra It’s not the holidays in Tampa Bay until the late Paul O’Neill’s fiery, holiday-centric ensemble arrives for two arena shows. After a few years of a Ghosts Of Christmas Eve -centric performance, TSO is shifting gears to shine a light on The Lost Christmas Eve —the last installment in its “Christmas trilogy” which turns 20 years old this year. It’s a brand-new show, so don’t get your hopes up to hear the godly narration of Phillip Brandon in front of a theater display in between songs. (Amalie Arena, Tampa)
TUE 17
C Cheap Trick Robin Zander is coming home for the holidays. The Safety Harbor resident and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee has had yet another hectic year, opening for Heart and overseeing a handful of live releases. But with his son Robin Taylor, and his brothers of nearly 50 years Tom Peterssen and Rick Nielsen—plus the latter’s own son Daxx—Zander could
(The Bricks, Ybor City)
C Andy Brey’s Holiday Hootenanny There’s no shortage of holiday concerts happening across Tampa Bay, but the best ones to check out are helmed by locals like Brey—a geologist and multi-instrumentalist who rocks a schizophrenic 21st century southern gothic sound. For this hootenanny, he wel comes friends to help bring to life to singles like the rollicking “Milky Way” released last summer. (Biergarten at New World Brewery, Tampa)
C Will Buck w/Brian Busto/Skyler Devries/Second Chancez comes to Seminole Heights this week when nu-disco producer Will Buck (Off Track Recordings) hits the ones and twos alongside revered locals for a holiday edition of Serious Soul’s Boogie To the Beat series. (Mandarin Heights, Tampa)
See an extended version of this listing via cltampa.com/music.
JACK CYMBRYLA
Albert J
DECEMBER 31
PAPADOSIO Jannus Live
TYCHO Jannus Live
JANUARY 9
JANUARY 22
JANUARY 26
SILVERSTEIN Jannus Live
MICHIGANDER Crowbar
FEBRUARY 5
FEBRUARY 11
KERRY KING Jannus Live
FEBRUARY 11
JACK KAYS The Orpheum
FEBRUARY 26
POUYA Jannus Live
MARCH 15
INHALER Jannus Live
MARCH 26
THE GET UP KIDS Jannus Live
SKEGSS The Ritz Ybor
Eef Barzelay is making his way across the Bay area, and plays his most intimate local gig to date early next year.
The 54-year-old songwriter better known as the creative force behind Clem Snide played an Ybor City listening room gig last year and opened for Great Lake Swimmers in Clearwater last February, and is now headed to a St. Petersburg backyard in January. Perpetually on the road, this time he is supporting a 2024, album, Oh Smokey
“Eef will perform a setlist curated by audience requests, delivering a cozy, bonfire-lit ‘hootenanny,” Jerry Span, host and lifelong Bay area music scene supporter told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay.
Portland songwriter Joy Pearson provides direct support at the gig alongside homegrown folkie Adam Randall. “Together, they’ll create a lyrical tapestry perfect for a starlit night,” Span added. Show posters at local record shops included live flowers that have since started to wilt away. Span said that was intentional because, “The poster was alive. Now it is dying. That theme is so present in his music.”
Local artist JD Hardy, fresh off “Skyway” at Tampa Museum of Art, provides video design and art for the show, which will also feature large-scale contemporary oil paintings from Kenny Jensen.
Plague Spitter (Final show) w/ Horsewhip/Meatwound/Thrull/ Hysteresis/Dead Mirrors Friday, Dec. 27. 8 p.m. $15 at door. Deviant Libation, Tampa
Kurt Reifler Friday, Dec. 27. 7 p.m. No cover. Woodwright Brewing Co., Dunedin
Sullivan King w/Grabbitz/AG Friday, Dec. 27. 10 p.m. $45 & up. The Ritz, Ybor City
Noizu Saturday, Dec. 28. 10 p.m. $25 & up. The Ritz, Ybor City
Al Di Meola Thursday, Jan. 16. 8 p.m. $50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater
Bingo Loco Saturday, Jan. 18. 6 p.m. $34. The Ritz, Ybor City
Justin Howl Saturday, Jan. 18. 7:30 p.m. No cover. Biergarten at New World Brewery, Tampa
Southern Culture on the Skids Saturday, Jan. 25. 8 p.m. $20. Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa
Melissa Etheridge w/Lisa Loeb/Maggie Rose Saturday, Jan. 25. 6:30 p.m. $49 & up. The BayCare Sound, Clearwater
Tickets to see Eef Barzelay play a house show in St. Petersburg on Saturday, Jan. 4 are available for $20. See Josh Bradley’s weekly roundup of new concerts coming to Tampa Bay below.—Ray Roa
Jon ‘Blackdog’ Ridnell Saturday, Feb. 1. 7:30 p.m. No cover. Biergarten at New World Brewery, Tampa
The Get Up Kids w/Hot Rod Circuit Wednesday, Feb. 5. 7 p.m. $29. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg
Champagne Drip Friday, Feb. 7. 10 p.m. $20 & up. The Ritz, Ybor City
Dear Readers: I’m was off for Thanksgiving. I was tempted to re-run the single best Thanksgiving-related question that has ever appeared in an advice column—but I re-ran that column last year. So, instead I’m re-upping the column that appeared just before Thanksgiving in 2016. —Dan
I’m a very sex-positive girl and I finally convinced my boyfriend to open up about his fetishes. I could tell he was ashamed and torn about sharing them with me, but I’ve been with my fair share of guys and surfed the net for years, and I was convinced nothing could shock me. Well, it turns out he’s into soft vore. I’m not gonna lie, I was a bit put off at first, but of course I didn’t tell him. I started looking for information about his fetish, and it’s not as uncommon as I thought. I stumbled upon many websites for like-minded people, and my understanding of it is that vores really long for intimacy and protection. Is my interpretation correct? Also, after learning about it, I realized it’s less extreme than some of the stuff we usually engage in, like heavy BDSM, so I want him to feel fulfilled. Is there any way I can help him “act out” his fetish? He would like to be the eatee.—Fully Understanding Lover’s Longings “Vore,” for readers who aren’t familiar with the term, refers to a range of kinks that involve the threat or reality of being eaten alive and/ or eating another creature alive. Vore comes in “soft” and “hard” varieties, like other kinks, with soft vore involving fantasies of being swallowed whole and hard vore involving fantasies about the (imaginary!) ripping of flesh and the (simulated!) crunching of bones and shedding of blood.
like—besides the whole being swallowed alive thing—is the first step.
Once you know exactly what turns him on, FULL, you can explore his kinks through roleplay and dirty talk. Ramping things up slowly—baby steps—is always a good idea with varsity-level kinks, so try sexting each other and/or creating dirty vore stories over e-mail or text. If your boyfriend wants to get physical, you can start with mouthy things like biting, licking, sucking, etc., combined with dirty talk about digesty things like chewing, swallowing, stomachs, etc.
SAVAGE LOVE
If things go well, you bring his fantasies to life—or as near to life as possible—using props and costumes. Try zipping him up in a sleeping bag to simulate being in a stomach—filling it with a gooey liquid will make it feel more like the inside of some fantastical beast’s stomach—but be careful not to smother him. (Accidentally smothering to death is bad. #TheMoreYouKnow) You could also visit a place with isolation/floatation tanks together and pretend you’re trapped in the stomach of something or someone awful.
Finally, FULL, I want to commend you for not freaking out when your boyfriend shared his kink. You listened, you did a little research, you gave it some thought, and you reached out to me. For that, I’m upgrading your GGG card to platinum.
“VIBE should pay attention to the kind of action that feels good or gets her off,” said Moen. “Does your clit like super-direct focus? The smaller the head of the vibrator, the more laser-like the precision. Do you like lots of overall, engulfing stimulation that covers a lot of ground? The larger the head, the more surface area it’ll cover, and the vibrations will be more generally distributed across the entire vulva, from outer labia to clit.”
For best results, Moen recommends buying two toys, VIBE, if you can swing the expense.
“Get a generic bullet vibe first,” said Moen. “They’re about $15 to $20—it’s a model that has a control box you hold in one hand and a cord that connects to a simple vibrating egg shape that you hold in your masturbating hand. Try it out at home, and then based on how you did or did not enjoy it, purchase a more expensive, high-quality model ($60 to $120) based on the kind of vibrational stimulation you learned you want from that first cheaply made model. Personally, I recommend the Minna Limon and Vibratex’s Mystic Wand for smaller-sized, decently powered vibrators. And then the big guns that’ll blast you to the moon and
A friend and I want to go to the inauguration in January with the intention of standing with our backs to the ceremony as a peaceful protest statement. A handful of people doing this won’t say much, but if hundreds/thousands of people did this, it could send a message to the world that the majority of us did not vote for him and are not supporting his hate. Do you feel this would be a worthwhile action to try to organize (along with giving money and time to organizations that support social justice), and if so, would you give voice to this idea to your readers/listeners?
Peaceful Protester
Fantasies about creatures large enough to swallow a human whole and/or devour one in chunks are important to this kink, as a quick image search for “vore fetish” on Google proves. But since most vore fantasies involve creatures that qualify as fantastical beasts, i.e., large animals (kinkmegafauna) interested in swallowing humans whole, vore fetishists are limited to role play, although some have built their own creatures or sought employment at the Jim Henson Company and repurposed larger Muppets off the clock. Before you can determine which way to go—assuming your boyfriend wants to “act out” his fantasies in the first place—you’ll need details, FULL. Is your boyfriend into the intimacy and protection aspects of vore? Does he want to be gently “held” in the mouth and only threatened with being eaten or does he want to be swallowed whole and slowly dissolve in something’s guts? Does bondage, i.e., being a bound sacrifice, play a role in his fantasies? Learning more about what his fantasies look
Any advice for a first-time sex-toy buyer? I’m looking into vibrators, but I don’t want to spend a bunch of money on something that doesn’t do it for me.—Very Into Buying Electronics
“VIBE should go to a sex shop in person so she can physically pick up and turn on the models she’s considering buying,” said Erika Moen. “If possible, go to a shop that advertises itself with any of the following words: feminist, queer, LGBTQ+, sex-positive, womanfriendly, trans-friendly, or inclusive, as these places tend to be staffed by people who are passionate and genuinely invested in helping folks of all walks of life.”
Moen and her partner, Matthew Nolan, have been making the “Oh Joy Sex Toy” comic for three years, which combines reviews of sex toys with really awesome, hilarious, and inclusive sex ed. And Moen, who has personally tested hundreds of sex toys, wants you to rub one or two out before you go shopping.
back are the Doxy and Vibratex’s Magic Wand (formerly known as the Hitachi Magic Wand). Best of luck to you!”
Follow @FuckYeahErikaMoen on Instagram and Threads.
I’m torn. On the one hand, we need to stand against Trump. Like his campaign, his nomination, and his election, his impending inauguration is an outrage. On the other hand, flying is expensive and lodging in D.C. isn’t cheap, PP, and our money could be better spent. Going to D.C. to turn your back on Trump as he’s being sworn in doesn’t preclude making a donation to the Chosen Family Law Center (chosenfamilylawcenter. org) or the National Center for Lesbian Rights (nclrights. org) or the International Refugee Assistance Project (refugeerights.org), of course, and symbolic acts of resistance— demonstrations, zaps, protests—often inspire people to engage in additional and more practical acts of resistance (donating money, monkey-wrenching discriminatory “registries,” urging local elected officials to not cooperate with anti-immigrant campaign). But if heading to D.C. to protest on Inauguration Day feels right and necessary, you have my full support—so long as that’s not the last thing you do or the only thing you do. But me? I’m going to spend the day making donations, baking cakes, and sucking cocks. Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love! Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan! Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love.
ACROSS 1 Miner discoveries
Jethro’s uncle
Flyboy’s
Muscle’s opposite
Actor who played Lumpy on Leave It to Beaver
Arafat’s org.
Kurt Weill married her twice
Legendary risktaker
Colorful talkers?
Fearful shudder, to a Scot (the “-some” version is more common, though) 28 Homer Simpson likes to do it
Scale units: abbr.
Drift from the script
Veer, as a V2
Perfect rapport
Pancho portrayer on The Cisco Kid 52 The Jetsons’ robot maid 55 Super-scandal of 2001-02
Mimic
Korean War general 61 “Holy moly!” 62 Home of Botafogo Beach
