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Last Wednesday, a nationwide movement that started online called for 50 protests in 50 states on one day under the hashtag #50501. In Tampa, several hundred gathered in mid-afternoon in front of City Hall. While the 47th president’s actions over the past two weeks were the genesis of the protest in Tampa, many in the crowd targeted Elon Musk, the South African-born billionaire who's been allowed to exert unprecedented control as he executes Trump’s cost-cutting initiative. See all the photos via cltampa.com/slideshows.—Mitch Perry/Florida Phoenix
do this
Tampa Bay's best things to do from February 14 - 19
Little
pricks
What’s more punk than coming back after 13 years? After three successful editions of the festival in 2009-2011, Atomic Tattoos is finally bringing this party back to the historic district, complete with more than 100 artists all competing for awards like, best sleeve, best black and grey, and tattoo of the day. For the kiddos who can’t wait to get their first tattoo, no need to be 18—temporary tattoos are part of the schedule. Five bands are on the agenda for Saturday, including a Tampa and Atlanta based rock outfit Rmblr. Sunday’s concert includes Orlando’s TV Generation and Tampa’s own Black Valley Moon, plus a no-cover punk rock flea market where vendors will sell art and other oddities, for all punk tastes.
Cigar City Tattoo Fest: FridaySunday, Feb. 14-16. Gates at noon. $25 & up (punk rock flea market is freeto-attend). Cuban Club, 2010 N Avenida Republica de Cuba, Ybor City. cigarcitytattoofest.com—Julia Saad
Be
my neighbor
When politicians fail them, people and organizations step up for each other. West Tampa’s Masjid Omar Al Mokhtar mosque is one such community and has opened its doors for a welcome expansion of Orlando’s Neighborhood Fridge project. Last month, the organization announced plans to set up shop in the 813, and this weekend it calls on artists to come by and beautify the fridge and pantry. And even if you have not one artistic bone in your body, you can still come by to donate food for the fridge and hygiene products for the pantry. “This fridge is for everyone—no barriers, no paperwork, just neighbors helping neighbors,” organizers wrote on social media. “Let’s show Tampa what mutual aid can do!”
Free fridge launch event: Saturday, Feb. 15. 2 p.m.-5 p.m. No cover. Masjid Omar Almoktar, 1307 W North B St., Tampa. @neighborhoodfridge on Instagram—Ray Roa
Sunny days
While the new Trump administration works against expressions of gender and sexuality, seven Tampa Bay lesbians want to make sure their artistic queerness is proudly out there in print. The Sapphic Sun is a publication for and by sapphics, and their admirers. The pages, filled with local art, give scrapbooking envy. The adjective “sapphic” is defined in every one of the five printed editions of the nascent publication: “An umbrella term for attraction between queer women-whether they identify as lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, trans femme, trans masc, or non-binary.” The pub showcases the efforts of the queer community, doesn’t shy away from reporting on activism, posts recipes and even has “Ask A Dyke” and “Sapphic Tells All” sections. The publication is also e one of nearly four dozen vendors at the family-friendly St. Pete Zine Fest. In a world of PDFs and web publications, St. Pete Zine Fest organizers—SPC Learning Resources, St. Pete Library System, and Print St. Pete—want to ensure that anyone with a preference for tactile media, flicking pages and uncensored information, has an all-you-can-read buffet. Read more about the Sun via cltampa.com
St. Pete Zine Fest: Saturday, Feb. 15. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. No cover. West Community Library at St. Petersburg College-Gibbs campus, 6700 8th Ave. N, St. Petersburg. printstpete.org/spzf—Julia Saad
RAY ROA
Go green
Believe it or not, you don’t have to stew your collard green for hours (sorry, grandma). A beloved festival makes its flavorful comeback this weekend, showcasing many of the ways you can prepare the southern staple with global reach (in Brazil, they’re called “couve,” commonly paired with barbeque). The celebration includes vendors, live music and educational workshops to promote healthier eating habits. The festival and organization—also hosts a Youth Entrepreneurship Row Accelerator event—started as a joke between church friends. Now, eight seasons later, the festival remains a staple community celebration of Black, brown and African-American heritage and cuisine in the Bay area.
Tampa Bay Collard Green Festival: Saturday, Feb. 15. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. No cover. Woodson African American Museum of Florida, 2240 9th Ave. S, St. Petersburg. tbcgf.org—Julia Saad
Get out
Florida may seem like hell for anyone with values antithetical to the far-right, but the state’s LGBTQ+ community is not backing down. In its eighth year, ReadOUT will celebrate queer authors—like keynote speaker, fantasy novelist Ellen Kushner (pictured)—and their stories via panel talks, readings, meet-and-greets, signings and more. There’s even a virtual option for anyone who can’t come to the Bay area in person. A press release says other participating authors include J.J. Arias, Georgia Beers, Virginia Black, Melissa Brayden, Nan Campbell, Sheree Greer, Elle Ire, Sandra Lambert, and more.
ReadOUT LGBTQ+ Book Festival: Friday-Sunday, Feb. 14-16. $10. Catherine A. Hickman Theater, 5501 27th Ave. S, Gulfport. @readoutfestival on Instagram Ray Roa
Smoko show
Have you ever been to a fundraiser where the main attraction is a cat? Your chance happens when a Tampa food scene staple celebrates the release of a new sticker featuring an image of El Smoko, the restaurant ‘s self-proclaimed patio guardian. Yes, he’s a cat. All proceeds collected at the event go toward Chalky’s Cat Crusade and its mission to humanely reduce the population of homeless cats in the city through targeted trap-neuter-vaccinate-return (TNVR). Stickers are available for $5 as a donation to Chalky’s, along with as raffle prizes, t-shirt sales, and music by DJ Cub (aka Tampa artist and scene staple Chris Preston, who designed the sticker). El Smoko has become a celebrity of sorts amongst Cappy’s regulars, leading to the creation of her own social media profile run by one of the restaurant servers, where he is seen hanging out with patrons while they enjoy their meal.
El Smoko sticker release party and fundraiser: Next Thursday, Feb. 20. 5 p.m.-9 p.m. No cover. Cappy’s Pizza Seminole Heights, 4910 N Florida Ave., Tampa. @ elsmokothecat on Instagram—Sofía García Vargas
Valentine’s Dinner AT THE FOUNTAIN GRILLE RESTAURANT FEBRUARY 14, 2025 ❤ 4PM - 10PM CALL 727-726-1161 EXT 7100 FOR RESERVATIONS
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“I have potholes bigger than baby carriages.”
Water runs deep
Luxury and cultural spots get redevelopment dollars while residents beg for street repairs.
By Francis X. Gilpin/The Florida Trident
As the indefatigable president of a federation of Tampa neighborhood associations, Stephanie Poynor gets around.
“Every single neighborhood meeting that I go to,” she told the Tampa City Council a year ago, “people are complaining about their sidewalks, the roads.”
In November, Poynor urged immediate action. “I have potholes bigger than baby carriages,” Poynor told the council.
Despite the chassis-rattling reputation of Tampa streets, city officials devote just a few million dollars most years to patching or repaving their more than 1,200 miles of public roadways. That was going to be the case again this year until the City Council upped Mayor Jane Castor’s recommended $5.5 million for street resurfacing to $9.1 million.
At that pace, a city street gets repaved every 75 years, Tampa Mobility Director Vik Bhide told Tampa television station WFLA in 2022. City officials would like to reduce that to 25 years. Since 2022, the officials say they are doing better, although they didn’t have an immediate estimate of their progress.
City leaders cannot claim a lack of cash.
Healthy reserve, frustrated motorists
The city’s community redevelopment agency, or CRA, boasted a healthy reserve of more than $120 million, according to its fiscal 2023 audit, the latest available.
But if frustrated motorists getting around on Tampa’s pothole-scarred streets think that sum could help them avoid their next trip to the repair shop, powerful interests are way ahead of them.
The CRA’s downtown redevelopment zone has spent or committed to spend $50 million reimbursing the developer of the high-end Water Street Tampa for infrastructure expenses. Another $64 million has been put forth for expansion of downtown cultural attractions through 2033.
The CRA, governed by the City Council with staff support from the Castor administration, has spent $35 million so far on the capital needs of Water Street, an upscale live-work-play community from Strategic Property Partners LLC, a venture of Tampa Bay Lightning owner Jeff Vinik and Microsoft Corp. co-founder Bill Gates.
Another $25 million is helping with enhancements at the Straz Center for the Performing
Arts, according to presentations by Castor aides to the City Council. The Tampa Museum of Art is growing as well with another nearly $25 million in CRA funds while Tampa Theatre has dibs on $14 million.
“That’s why there is no money to fix the rest of the city,” another local activist, Valerie Newman, wrote on the neighborhood social-media site Nextdoor.
Cleaning up blight
The Tampa CRA is among 194 such agencies across the state, according to the Florida Department of Commerce.
CRAs can declare a rundown section of town to be a redevelopment zone. In Tampa, the CRA has made such declarations for Central Park, the Channel District, Drew Park, East Tampa,
zone. That is supposed to incentivize more outside investment until the area can flourish on its own.
To many observers, the Tampa CRA’s downtown zone, anchored by Water Street, already is flourishing.
“The amount of money that the public sector has invested or will invest in Water Street is dwarfed by the amount of tax revenue that will be thrown off by Water Street,” said Bob Buckhorn, Castor’s predecessor in the mayor’s office, who helped put together the deal for CRA funding.
into a gravy train for luxury developers and arts executives?
The downtown redevelopment zone was set up in 1983 to reimagine the southern end of the business district with an office-hotel combination and an elevated railway to Harbour Island.
Former Mayor Sandy Freedman, who was serving on the City Council at the time, opposed creation of that CRA zone and others.
LOCAL NEWS
Higher downtown real estate values should generate $507 million in taxes that can be spent within the zone between now and 2033, according to city projections. The zone’s designation as a blighted area doesn’t expire until 2043.
the Tampa Heights riverfront and West Tampa. The zones in downtown and Ybor City each have two redevelopment areas.
CRAs are intended to clean up blight by inducing the private sector to bankroll new housing and businesses. Ideally, the new development raises real estate values. The resulting higher property tax collections are not spent in the rest of the city but instead are plowed back into the
“This downtown CRA has got pockets full of money,” Poynor told the City Council in another of her frequent appearances at CRA meetings. “It’s time for it to be put to bed. It’s done its job… to cure slum and blight.”
Gravy train
How did a program with a mandate to rid Tampa’s central business district of blight morph
“There are other ways you could do it as opposed to creating this thing that takes all the money, keeps it in that neighborhood, and no matter how good it gets, there’s no guarantee that you’re ever going to shut it down,” Freedman said in a recent interview. “And that’s exactly what’s happened.”
For decades, the decrepit parking lots and industrial space around what became Amalie Arena, where the Lightning play, had been eyed for redevelopment. “It was a pretty desolate place,” said Buckhorn.
By 1993, when government officials and the Lightning’s original owner settled on the east side of downtown as the arena site, they did so partly out of a desire to revitalize the general vicinity.
Enter Vinik, a Boston money manager who bought the floundering Lightning franchise in 2010 for $170 million. Within a few years, Vinik and his associates also had title to more than 50 acres near his team’s arena.
Besides gradually transforming Tampa Bay’s woebegone NHL team into a perennial Stanley Cup contender, Vinik endeared himself to the region by handing out $50,000 checks to local charities at Lightning home games.
Locals benefited, too
Vinik’s generosity wasn’t limited to area nonprofits. Local pols benefited, too. Vinik and his companies gave $232,000 to Castor’s two mayoral campaigns and her political committee between 2019 and 2023.
Buckhorn, who served as mayor from 2011 to 2019, was a driving force behind the city and Hillsborough County eventually pledging up to $100 million—$50 million each—to help Vinik and billionaire partner Gates with such continued on page 17
infrastructure costs as relocating utility lines and burying new ones. The willingness of University of South Florida leaders to open a medical school at Water Street helped seal the deal.
Tampa’s $50 million share is coming from the CRA’s downtown zone account, fattened with escalating property tax revenue from the VinikGates project and other emerging development.
Local boosters have lauded the $4 billionplus Water Street complex, with its acclaimed restaurants (one earned a Michelin Star), three hotels (including one with the city’s first 5-star rating) and more than 1,300 high-priced dwelling units.
“Water Street has been a tremendous success,” Buckhorn said. “It has put us on the map in the real estate world. It has brought more attention to Tampa in a positive way than probably any project other than the Riverwalk that we’ve done.”
Vinik himself plunked down more than $8 million for a penthouse in 2023. Later that year, Vinik sold his Strategic Property Partners stake to Cascade Investment Fund LLC, a holding company for Gates. In 2024, after announcing a divorce from his wife of more than 30 years, Vinik unloaded his controlling interest in the Lightning for a reported $1.8 billion.
Not everybody is bursting with civic pride about Water Street.
“Fifty million dollars that was gifted to Bill Gates and Jeff Vinik, who have more money than I’ll ever be able to dream of,” Poynor griped to the City Council in 2023.
Are you kidding me?
Critics fear a new giveaway to developers is underway within the CRA’s West Tampa zone. Early in 2025, the City Council approved $10 million in CRA funds to assist with a Riverwalk extension on the west side of the Hillsborough River.
“The public knows that this is an amenity for developers who want to develop a few spots along the Riverwalk,” said City Council member Bill Carlson. “All the other stuff—the sidewalks, the bike lanes, all that stuff—all that is put in to try to get political support and make it look like a West Tampa project.”
Carlson was joined by City Council member Lynn Hurtak in unsuccessfully opposing that CRA expenditure.
Poynor’s years-long critique of CRA spending has taken on new urgency since last hurricane season. Residents all over Tampa were shocked in 2024 by massive flooding of their homes during Hurricanes Helene and Milton.
Those living in the Forest Hills area, which wasn’t in a hurricane evacuation zone, were angrier than most. Only one of three city stormwater pumps in that neighborhood had a backup generator, in case electricity was disrupted during turbulent weather. And that pump shut down
during Hurricane Milton when the generator failed to turn on after the power went out.
An audit released in December concluded Tampa’s stormwater pumps have been poorly maintained for years. The audit blamed staff turnover. Officials left in charge lack the expertise to ensure the pumps work properly, the audit found.
In a post-hurricane appearance before the City Council, Poynor, president of the Tampa Homeowners Association of Neighborhoods, highlighted the pump issues as she objected to a multimillion-dollar CRA-funded downtown beautification proposal.
“It’s $6 million! Six million dollars, when we have wastewater generators that don’t freaking work. Are you kidding me?” Poynor said. “What about the people throughout the entire city of Tampa who had poop water in their house covering their things?”
Slum and blighted?
Mayor Castor has deflected that sort of criticism by contending the hurricane rains were historic and thus beyond the design capability of Tampa’s utility system to prevent such flooding. The city and county are looking into what went wrong.
So what is the potential for prying loose some cash from the CRA to begin to grapple with the crumbling infrastructure of Tampa, which the U.S. Census Bureau pegged as the 11th-fastest growing major American city between 2022 and 2023?
windfall to improving the quality of life in neglected Tampa neighborhoods.
“Downtown has been a success,” Carlson said. “Now we have other areas that desperately need funding.”
But Carlson has found few takers.
Affordable housing in downtown
His colleague Luis Viera has been supportive, signaling slight remorse that the council, acting as the CRA board, funneled so much money to downtown cultural assets.
At a 2024 CRA meeting, Viera recalled backing $15 million for the art museum but later voting against another $35 million in requests from cultural institutions. Viera said he supported the CRA’s downtown efforts despite taking “heat” during his election campaigns. “I still do,” Viera said. “But don’t stretch a double into a home run.”
Coming out of the pandemic, arts advocates pleaded poverty at the time of their CRA requests. “I don’t think any of those projects would get funded today,” said Carlson, who voted to fund projects at the Straz and Tampa Theatre.
LOCAL NEWS
The downtown zone, made up of two redevelopment areas encompassing 870 acres, is the CRA’s richest. It had $46 million in reserve funds in 2023, according to the agency’s latest audit. The second-richest zone, covering an adjacent 200 acres in the Channel District, reported $23 million in reserves.
“Neither of those areas, downtown or Channelside, could be categorized as slum and blighted,” said former Mayor Freedman, “and haven’t been able to be categorized that way for a very long time.”
Gwen Henderson, who chairs the CRA’s governing board, is among the City Council members concerned about what spreading the wealth beyond downtown might involve. Rejiggering the CRA funding formula would require the city to redo a contract with Hillsborough County commissioners. Five of the seven commissioners are Republicans.
“Would you say that could be a risky situation for us, considering how conservative the County Commission is?” Henderson asked last year. “Slashed affordable housing. Constantly question the arts. Wouldn’t we be putting ourselves in danger if we renegotiate the interlocal agreement with them?”
Nevertheless, Carlson has advocated redirecting some of the CRA’s downtown property-tax
Buckhorn says those cultural requests should have never been funded by the City Council. “If they would stop giving away tax dollars to not-for-profits that don’t produce any property taxes that replenish the fund,” he said, “then maybe you could do things like expand the streetcar and create even more economic opportunities.”
What is getting CRA funding these days is affordable housing, to the tune of $136 million over the next eight years from the account of the downtown zone alone.
“We need affordable housing in downtown,” said Hurtak. “It’s very important. We need people to be able to live downtown and work downtown.”
Yet, after years of effectively subsidizing Water Street’s unaffordable housing, Carlson questions why new subsidies have to be confined to downtown.
“Affordable housing is many times more expensive in downtown than it is anywhere else,” Carlson said. “I would rather get more units because right now we need units, not just spending somewhere.”
Third World country?
Neighborhood activists point out that Tampa’s lack of affordable housing hasn’t been helped lately by a lot of new residential construction favoring the affluent.
However, Carlson hears from newcomers who regret buying into Tampa. “Some of the people that moved here in the last few years are moving out because they don’t like that we don’t have sidewalks,” he said, “don’t like that we have roads that look like they are from a Third World country.”
Tampa has 800 miles of sidewalks but city officials figure another 1,300 miles would be ideal. They say designing and constructing a mile of sidewalk costs $750,000. That means all the needed sidewalks would cost $975 million if it was possible to install them this year. In 2022, city officials reported that they put in about one mile of new sidewalk annually. A year later, they were able to add two miles of new sidewalk with help from federal post-pandemic stimulus grants.
Officials are optimistic that Tampa could come into extra road and sidewalk money in 2025 and beyond. A countywide sales tax for capital needs was renewed by voters last year. The state is also expected to share a slice of the leftover proceeds from a short-lived countywide sales tax that was invalidated by the Florida Supreme Court.
In 2023, Castor proposed a 16% property tax increase that would have raised $45 million to deal with maintenance backlogs and other public works. The City Council shot down that plan.
“She tried to raise taxes,” Freedman said of Castor. “Why didn’t she think that some of those dollars could come from either partially reducing a couple of the CRAs that have done well and allowing them to flow into the neighborhoods or shutting them down altogether? Time’s up.”
Pleas of activists
Castor spokesman Adam Smith pointed out that CRA spending is controlled by the City Council, not the mayor.
Smith added in an email: “There are legal restrictions on what CRA money can be spent on. The money must be spent within the CRA area and toward purposes identified in each CRA’s community redevelopment plan. Generally speaking, CRA money can’t be spent on normal governmental operations, like paving or police patrols.”
Otherwise, the Castor administration hasn’t shown much sympathy for the fix-the-roads pleas of activists such as Poynor, who became a government watchdog due to what she considered the city’s disregard for her low-lying neighborhood south of Gandy Boulevard.
At a CRA meeting last spring, Alis Drumgo, Castor’s deputy administrator for development and economic opportunity, seemed to address Poynor and other critics in comments to the City Council.
“If you want to line up all the people who live south of Gandy who get flat tires from potholes, I’ll gladly help them change them,” Drumgo said.
Smith says Drumgo was probably joking. The city does pay for automobile damage from road hazards, he added.
In any case, Drumgo’s offer may no longer stand. He left city government in July to join the local office of Capital City Consulting LLC, a Tallahassee lobbying firm.
Francis X. Gilpin is a journalist who has worked in Florida for more than 20 years.
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Welcome to Winter Pride!
a celebration of the LGBTQIA+ community right here a powerful moment for us to come together, make mes everyone.
ther, and amplify our presence. The LGBTQIA+ he unwavering belief that we are stronger together. we reaffirm that our stories, our identities, and our
nt, a time for us to gather as a community, lift one l safe, celebrated, and seen. This celebration has across our community, each dedicated to making hard work and passion have helped shape a lineup of
Founding Members, whose generosity and support are making Winte
But this week of events is not just about attending—it’s about encourage you to be an active part of Winter Pride by showing media, and supporting the businesses and organizations that upl when we lift each other up, we create a ripple effect that exte inclusive and accepting world.
So join us. Be part of this historic moment. Show up, celebrate becomes a lasting tradition. Whether you attend one event or al Thank you for being part of this journey, for your support, history together!
And lastly, save the date to join us next year February 15-22
Schedule of Signature Events Schedule of Signature Events
& Tea Dance
Dive In Movie
Trans - n - Dance
One Love
Snow Bunnies
Pride in Plaid
Pelican Ball Pelican Ball Drag Race Dripping
Festival
Free Trivia & Smash Burger Truck
Seth Campbell Live
Monday Monday
Sunday Sunday
Tuesday Tuesday
Interactive Rainbow Paw Print Art
Bingo & Polish Sausage Food Truck
Wednesday Wednesday
Thursday Thursday
Paint Your Pal Pawty
Friday Friday
Saturday Saturday
Dog Bar Prom – Winter Dog Bar Prom – Winter Formal Formal
Headliners Headliners
Laguna Blue Laguna Blue Laguna Blue
One Love - 2/19
Jewels Sparkles Jewels Sparkles Jewels Sparkles
Street Festival - 2/23
Carson Kressley Carson Kressley Carson Kressley
Pelican Ball & Drag Race2/21 & 2/22
Jimbo Jimbo Jimbo
Jimbo Live Under the Big COCK - 2/20
Jade Jolie Jade Jolie Jade Jolie
RPDR Watch Party & Drag Race - 2/21 & 2/22
Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige
Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige
Mhi'ya Iman Le'Paige
Nick Adams Nick Adams Nick Adams
Street Festival - 2/23
Street Festival - 2/23
Monet X Change Monet X Change Monet X Change
Street Festival - 2/23
WINTER PRIDE
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WINTER PRIDE BRUNCH
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DJ ACE VEDO | THE WET SPOT | 11 AM - 3 PM
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SEE THE “DRAG RACE” STAR LIVE FOR A NIGHT
ALL STARS AT THE WET SPOT! SHOW AT 8 PM | CLOWNERY AND GAGGERY | VIP AVAILABLE
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MEN’S EVENT AT COCKTAIL, KILTS ENCOURAGED DJ SKLARZ 9 PM - 2 AM | SHOP
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BLOWOUT PRIDE POP PARTY
DIVA DANCE PARTY & DRAG SHOW CHAPPELL, BRITNEY, XTINA, GAGA, CHARLI, & MORE DRESS ACCORDINGLY | SHOWS AT 10:30 PM & 12:30 AM
Planning Committee Planning Committee
David Fischer & Lee Manuel
Christopher Reilly
Bill Fuller & Misa Vazquez
Andre Clarke
Thearon Scurlock
Nicholas Buchanan
Thomas Rea
Thank you Sponsors Thank you Sponsors
Founding Members Founding Members Founding Members
$1000. Recurring Annual Contribution
Vania & Vicci
Mills Reyes
Steve & Tom Begert-Clark
Grahm Weinstein
Rich Senker
Deepak Kapoor
Stacia Schrader
Jason Fields & Channing Floyd
Bob Sanders
George Wakefield
Lisa & Jennifer Grey
George Wakefield
Ragina & Mike Mullucey
Sip Shop Horray
Scott R
Kevin Kempton
Charles Garber
Danny Arnold
Aron & Gabe Alves-Tomko
Michael Clark
Edward Gallagher & Krishna Persuad
Nicholas Kaiser
Steve Sroufe & Kevin Johnson
Casa Del Merman
David Hansen & Chris Salamanca
Support those who Support you! Support those who Support you! Support those who Support you!
Edward Braun & Charles Bland
Frank Clemente & Toby Anderson
Allan Bradley
Co-Sponsor Co-Sponsor Co-Sponsor
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$17.67 General Admission crowbarybor.com/calendar/#/events
Saturday, Feb. 15, 2025 • 12:00 PM - 2:00 PM
Rock at the park Navy Band Concert
@ Ybor City Museum State Park Garden 1818 9th Ave., Tampa Free to the public members.ybor.org/events/calendar
Friday, Feb. 21, 2025 • 10:00 PM - 2:45 AM
Delta Heavy • Midnight Forever Tour Part II
@ The Ritz Ybor
1503 E. 7th Ave – Tampa
Open to the public bit.ly/deltaheavy0221
Friday, Feb. 21 - Saturday, Feb. 22
See website for showtimes
Justin Silva
@ The Funny Bone 1600 E 8th Ave C-112, Tampa Tickets start at $32 tampa.funnybone.com
Saturday, Feb. 22, 2025 • 11:00 AM - 4:00 PM
Italian Club Open House & Membership Drive
@ L’Unione Italiana 1731 East 7th Avenue Tampa Open to the Public rb.gy/pi4feg
Saturday, Feb. 22, 2025 • 10:00 AM - 11:00 AM
An Ephemeral Public Art Festival | Art & History Tour #1 @ HCC Ybor City Campus 1411 E. 11th Ave., Tampa Open to the public bit.ly/hccnowonview
Sunday, Feb. 23, 2025 • 11:00 AM - 12:00 PM
Chicken Yoga with Yoga Loft Tampa and Ybor Misfits
@ Hotel Haya
1412 East 7th Avenue Tampa
$12 General Admission bit.ly/yborchickenyoga
BarrieHaus Beer Co 1403 E 5th Ave Like
Sky Puppy Brewing
1313 E 8th Ave, Tampa
Check out local photographer Michael Johnson’s exhibit currently on display. New artist every month. New brews tapped & wines released every Friday skypuppybrewing.com
J.C. Newman Cigar Company 2701 N 16th St, Tampa
Handcrafted premium cigars & a small museum draw smoking aficionados to this longtime factory. jcnewman.com
“Finally, our great chefs in the county are going to get the recognition that they deserve.”
RESTAURANTS RECIPES DINING GUIDES
Shooting stars
The
Michelin guide will expand to Pinellas County this year.
By Ray Roa
The biggest point of confusion surrounding the Michelin Guide’s presence in Tampa has been about why restaurants in Pinellas County are not represented in the revered, 125-year-old dining publication.
The reality is that in 2022, local tourism bureaus in Tampa, Orlando, and South Florida pitched in money to bring Michelin’s storied inspectors to their part of the woods in the hopes of seeing local restaurants earn coveted stars, Bib Gourmands, and recommendations in the guide. Michelin stars, after all, translate to tourist dollars.
At the time, a spokesperson for Visit St. Pete Clearwater (VSPC) told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that they would be happy to have inspectors visit restaurants in the region if the opportunity came around. That time has finally come.
Last Tuesday, the Michelin Guide said it has arrived in St. Petersburg and Clearwater, adding that its inspectors are already in the field marking reservations and looking for “culinary gems.” Other parts of Florida that have been added to the guide include Greater Fort Lauderdale and The Palm Beaches.
St. Petersburg and Clearwater’s first chance to get into the guide happens this year when Michelin does another update to its publication.
Reports say that Visit Florida, Visit Orlando, Visit Tampa Bay and Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau collectively paid $1.5 million to initially bring the guide to the Sunshine State. Criteria considered by inspectors include quality of ingredients, harmony of flavor, technique, personality of the chef expressed in the food, and consistency.
The highest honor a restaurant can get in the guide is three Michelin stars, reserved for what publishers describe as “superlative cooking of chefs at the peak of their profession; their cooking is elevated to an art form and some of their dishes are destined to become classics.” Two stars are awarded “when the personality and talent of the chef are evident in their expertly crafted dishes,” and a single star is given “to restaurants using top quality ingredients, where dishes with distinct flavours are prepared to a consistently high standard.”
Bib Gourmands are awarded for restaurants that offer a great venue while
highlighting “simple yet skilful cooking at an affordable price.”
There is only one restaurant in Florida with two stars (Miami French-contemporary spot L’Atelier de Joël Robuchon Miami), but Tampa is currently home to five restaurants with Michelin Stars (Ebba, Rocca, Koya, Lilac, K ō sen), four with Bib Gourmands (Rooster & the Till, Gorkhali Kitchen, Streetlight Taco, Psomi), and dozens of others that have been recommended by inspectors.
In his own press release, Brian Lowack, President/CEO of VSPC wrote, “This inclusion now gives us the chance to show off our award-winning beaches and award-worthy culinary experiences
as we set out to change the perception of what beach cuisine can be. With this new designation St. Pete-Clearwater will reach a new audience of food-focused travelers who are in search of an extraordinary culinary experience & America’s Favorite Beaches in one incredible destination.”
Shortly after the announcement, Lowack stood outside the Museum of Fine Arts on St. Petersburg’s Beach Drive and told reporters that VSPC’s two-year contract with Michelin (stylized in all-caps) costs his organization $90,000 a year.
Lowack was flanked by Pinellas County Commissioners Brian Scott and Kathleen Peters, plus Zach Feinstein, Vice President of Restaurants for the Pinellas Chapter of the Florida Restaurant and Lodging Association and owner of several concepts in Dunedin including The Black Pearl, Living Room and the recentlyreopened Highland House.
FOOD NEWS
That money, he said, comes from the tourist development tax, also known as a “bed tax,” a 6% tax on accommodations like hotels and private homes rented for six months or less. Monies raised by the tax can be used to promote the region via advertising, marketing and projects that increase visitation. “I can’t think of a better way to spend it than this,” Lowack added.
Peters added that Michelin inspectors, who don’t share details on where they’ll dine, will explore the entirety of Pinellas County, from hole-in-the-wall fish shacks to the fine dining.
“We have talked about this day for 11 years since we opened our company here,” Feinstein—who operates his restaurants under The Feinstein Group along with his wife and co-founder Christina Feinstein—told reporters. “Finally, our great chefs in the county are going to get the recognition that they deserve.”
SIGN OF THE TIMES: Five Tampa restaurants already have Michelin stars.
Hot in here A ‘romance wonderland’ rises in South Tampa.
By Carole Bell
While book bans continue to cause concern, Tampa Bay’s bookworms and hopeful romantics have reason to celebrate. Tampa’s hottest new book store “Steamy Lit” is a romance-centric startup on MacDill Avenue that is more than holding its own in turbulent times. For a place with a small footprint, it makes big waves—New York Times bestselling and indie authors flock to their locations for in-person events; queer authors are not just welcome, but thriving, inside their walls. And while many independent bookstores struggled post-pandemic, more than 100 eager fans showed up and waited in line for the soft opening.
On that sunny but chilly morning on Dec. 1, the vibes were immaculate: prosecco flowed, the line outside snaked around the corner, and people were chatty and buoyant. Inside they snapped up books, tote bags and other branded merchandise, shopping the carefully-curated shelves for every type and subgenre of romance on offer: from romcom to fantasy to edgier “dark romance” by an incredibly inclusive roster of authors. By close of business, Steamy Lit Tampa had sold nearly 500 books in the first hours of operation.
romance titles often dominating the best seller lists, independent, romance-only bookstores are popping up nationwide with two new ones opening their doors for the first time in Orlando and Cambridge within a month. Second, this is a very online-savvy literary juggernaut. While the GenZ-driven social platform of TikTok gets all the glory (and heat), Tampa’s new haven for romance readers was conceived and cultivated in the grassroots, cross generational online book circles of Instagram. Before the brick-and-mortar and the sold-out conventions and even the online store and book boxes, “BookstaGram” was where founder and owner Melissa Saavedra’s tightknit romance reading community gathered to talk about sex, love and representation.
BOOKS
Galentine’s Craft Party Saturday, Feb. 15. 5:30 p.m.-7 p.m.
Steamy Lit Bookstore. 2832 S MacDill Ave. Unit C, Tampa
“I was really intentional about community…”
That’s no Cinderella story. After just four years in operation, Steamy Lit is a very intentional bookish phenomenon—a multifaceted, mission-driven “literary collective” promoting diversity and sexual health. The organization encompasses a fast-growing small business with a popular subscription option, two brick-and-mortar locations, an online store, and an independent publishing operation producing its own sold-out special editions. The team of 18 also runs a Steamy Lit foundation, a popular annual conference, and now (of course) a podcast, “Romance Unleashed.”
The kind of rapid-fire success Steamy Lit enjoys doesn’t just happen; it’s worth unpacking. There are three distinctive parts to the story. First, Steamy Lit is also part of a bigger trend— Ripped Bodice, the first romance only bookstore in the United States opened its doors in 2016 and after several headline making successes and
Last, though community centered, Steamy Lit is the passion product of its fiercely driven military veteran founder, whose influence flows through everything they do. Speed and nimbleness aren’t traits for which the book world is known, but that’s very much this organization’s style and hers as well. When I spoke with Saavedra on a chilly January morning, snug in the pink velvet armchairs of her Tampa store, energy and clarity of her vision seemed to emanate from her in waves.
A 30-something former Navy service member with a stylish sneaker game, she was wearing crisp black and white Air Jordans when we met—with and an impatient and indomitable work ethic, Saavedra divulged two things about herself with some sheepishness. First, her persistent, instinctual internal mantra remains “Go big or go home.” While she now thinks may need to try to “unpack that” someday, a relentless action orientation is working for them. The ideas for new projects spark in rapid succession. She says if a project idea is living in her mind, sooner or later (mostly likely the former), then inevitably “it’s happening.“ And while she caveats that by saying “it’s probably one of the things my staff hates,” it’s clear that this relentless drive has served them well. continued on page 60
MOVIES THEATER ART CULTURE
OUT OF THE BOX: Melissa Saavedra has built a place to talk about sex, love and representation. COURTESY
Saavedra’s success turns on a series of conscious decisions to be “very intentional” about listening and building community. The business idea was born in one of the lowest and least connected points for many of us, the lockdowns of the Covid-19 pandemic. In 2020, Saavedra, who earned a degree in sports management from the University of Florida, was married and living in San Diego California (she’s since divorced and moved to South Florida where she opened her first book store).
Given that her job then was to manage travel for collegiate sports teams, which were on hold during lockdown, she had a lot of time on her hands. A lifelong reader, she took refuge in books, and specifically, in the literature of love in that tough period, becoming increasingly active in the virtual communities that thrived in this time of social distancing. It was in those social media conversations that the idea for the “Steam Box” initially took hold. So many of the exchanges Saavedra took part in involved bemoaning the lack of diversity in the books that were regularly on display in outlets like Barnes and Noble and big box stores. Not at first but eventually after a period of high volume reading and talking about romance, it struck her how market-driven (and overwhelmingly white) her own reading seemed to be despite often feeling out of step with her life. It seemed to Saavedra that there wasn’t much consciousness in choosing the books they were reading, and ultimately, that didn’t sit well with her. Often she wasn’t even aware of alternatives to the big, predominantly white authored books that publishers and the big box retailers tended to push. Many of the readers she met online felt similarly. And then, through those online networks, she started to discover Black and brown authors like Kennedy Ryan, Adriana Herrera, Alexa Martin, and Peruvian writer Melissa Rivero whose books and stories better reflected her own experience as a South Florida-raised, Peruvian-born Latina woman. The budding book influencer soon gravitated to reading, writing, and talking about those previously unknown to her authors of color. Then Saavedra began reaching out and asking to interview them. In an isolating time, many of the romance writers she reached out to were enthusiastic yeses. Those online conversations were fuel, propelling Saavedra to make the leap from recreational Bookstagrammer to business owner. By the end of 2020, Saavedrea’s first major initiative, The Steam Box, was in the works: a subscription pairing monthly romance novels, often by and centering underrepresented groups, with self-care and adult items (like vibrators). The idea of Steamy Lit the Literary Collective grew from the desires and common cause Saavedra found in community with her fellow readers online: to amplify underrepresented voices and celebrate “self-love through storytelling.”
Reflecting, the bookseller says that from the start, “I was really intentional about community and how we continue to create spaces where Black, Brown and Indigenous people can have a safe space to talk about our stories and just create a platform.” In addition to hosting chats online, she was “hosting events once we were able to. So if we were all going to ApollyCon, which is a big book convention in D.C., I was hosting a Latinx Romance Writers gathering.”
BOOKS
how much marketing dollars can go behind what is at a Barnes and Noble’s table.” Saavedra had been just that reader so she relates, “You’re not thinking twice about it. ButI wanted to be able to just provide a service where you go, you have no excuses.I’m handing the books to you of different lived experiences.”
Even then Saavedrea was thinking about how to do more. In 2021 Saavedra confessed to a friend that she would really also love to create a book convention that would reflect the same
Within a year both the growth of the book subscription box and the evolution from Steam Box to Steamy Lit “took off” organically, driven by glaring gaps in the romance book market, and the desire to act as a conscious counterpoint to the dominant but invisible hand of big five publishers of which most readers aren’t aware: “I think, when you’re just a casual reader, you don’t realize
values and goals driving the Steam Box. Soon she was plotting the next big move. As before, the vision was clear: “I wanted to create a convention that, again, focused on our mission, which was diversity and romance and amplifying BIPOC authors.”
Still, the finances and logistics of launching a convention were daunting. In a matter
of months, Saavedra, still living in Southern California at the time, heard that one of the most vocal and respected authors of modern romance was coming to her hometown for San Diego Comic-Con. They met and they vibed. That connection was the second big spark the nascent entrepreneur needed to know her dream could actually work. As Saavedrea recalls, over lunch Adriana Herrera told her, “ ‘I think there’s a need in the space. If you want to do it, I’ll fully support you.’” That, Saavedra says, was it: “I think I just needed to hear that there was someone within the community that obviously has years of experience, that is well known in the community, to kind of get me to pivot forward.”
True to her word, Herrera became Saavedra’s biggest supporter, and she was right about the market. A month later, the book entrepreneur was touring hotels and signing contracts “like it was a done deal.” Others have business loans, family funding or Shark Tank. Saavedra has the incredibly online and supportive ecosystem of romance readers, authors and media informally known as Romancelandia. That community became the foundation of the funding for the convention: “That first year was incredible to see the relationships I had built. I don’t think I had realized till that point how many people had trusted me.”
Learning that the initial hotel deposit would exceed $600,0000, she was unsure of whether they would be able to raise the cash. But they made their case and promised to refund authors who signed up if they were eventually unable to get fully-funded. To say that the romance community was thirsty for what she was offering is an understatement. She reached out to 300 authors; over 200 signed up. She raised another $200,000 through Kickstarter and negotiated the deposit. The rest is history.
The transition to physical locations was another natural step in its mission. While the first shop in Deerfield Beach attracts a carefully cultivated, solid and steady customer base, in founder Saavedra’s words, “Tampa’s been insane.”
After the success of her first store, Saaveedra began to look for the perfect site for a second, researching and testing possible markets with popup events from Sarasota to St. Petersburg, Orlando and downtown Tampa. Tampa’s enthusiastic response blew the others away. Still, Steamy Lit Tampa’s opening on MacDill was small. They launched with a shared space on S MacDill Avenue, home of The Procure Shop by the Women’s Creative, a boutique that carries 100% women-created or sourced goods. The community has welcomed the new booksellers with open arms and wide open wallets. Now Steamy Lit is expanding its footprint to the entire space in March and throwing a grand opening party featuring some of their most beloved authors. Local book lovers, stay tuned for the next chapter.
ANOTHER DOOR OPENS: Steamy Lit is expanding its footprint next month.
CAROLE BELL
print depicting snowy owls (Plate 121)
Birds of America, by John James Audubon
National Museums Scotland
PRE-VALENTINE’S DAY DRAG BINGO
JONAS WOODSTOCK MUSIC EXPERIENCE
THE BACKFIRES
TODD MURPHY
FRI., FEB. 28 KICKOFF PARTY
from 6-10 p.m. with performances from Flow Tribe and more.
SAT., MARCH 1
The Shaelyn Band
Caitlin Krisko & The Broadcast Eddie 9v
Mr. Sipp
Eric Gales
SUN., MARCH 2
Dig3 Band
Chris O’Leary Band
Ally Venable
Blood Brothers
Gates open at 2 p.m. each day
PSYCLON NINE
FUNK N TING:
By Ray Roa
FRI 14
Bebeshito Every Tampeño should know that their city, at least culturally, is closer to Cuba than Key West—and we should never overlook a chance to connect with the country’s cultural ambassadors. Late last year Oniel Bebeshito played to more than 18,000 at Miami’s Pitbull Stadium, and he continues to bring his brand of Caribbean pop and reggaeton to a Tampa arena that can hold close to 5,000 fans, too. (Yuengling Center, Tampa)
Bit Brigade Eight-bit rock and roll is here to stay, and an Athens-based pioneer of the genre returns to Tampa, this time to play soundtracks from classic Nintendo games “Super Mario World” and “F-Zero.” The gig is a visual spectacle, too, thanks to a touring gamer who will speedrun the game live onstage. (Orpheum, Tampa)
C Mamalarky w/Charlie/Mage Tears/ Sure Thing “Feels So Wrong” sounds good when it comes to Mamalarky. On the single from last month, the tri-coastal quartet claims it has never been original. But its breezy brand of indie-rock stands head and shoulders above the endless crop of bands that work within that genre thanks to intricate instrumentation and Livvy Bennett’s effortless command of a vocal that’s both airy and impossible to turn off. Nicole Johnson’s experimental songwriting project Mage Tears plays support on this Sarasota area gig alongside homegrown rock heavyweight Charlie and trampy sleaze-punk band Sure Thing. (Oscura, Bradenton)
Stop Light Observations w/Glass House Point Frontman John-Keith Culbreth explains Stop Light Observations’ name by arguing that there’s no better way to get humanity to stop and think deeply about real life than when the traffic light turns red (the acronym is literally “SLO”). Sure, you could do a quick Reddit doom scroll waiting for the light to turn green, but who wants to risk getting honked at? The six-piece South Carolina-based rock outfit brings a chill-yet-eccentric new single (“Transmutation”) to its Bay area debut. (Crowbar, Ybor City)—Josh Bradley
TFO: The Music of John Williams If you own a television, you’re probably familiar with Williams’ compositions. Just when it seems like he’s hanging it up after spending seven decades compiling a resume that includes doing music for the Olympics, as well as the iconic scores to a good chunk of the action-adventure films that made our parents’ childhoods even more exciting, Williams (who just turned 93 on Feb. 8) continues to prove that age is just a number. While his current work hasn’t been film-related since 2023’s “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny,” he still packs out the Hollywood Bowl to conduct the Los Angeles Philharmonic through his iconic pieces every year. Williams is a special guest at his very own celebratory gala in Miami next weekend, but unless you have a few grand to blow, this Florida Orchestra show (which has an encore performance at St. Pete’s Mahaffey Theater Saturday night) might be the closest you’ll ever get to seeing the legend live. (Ferguson Hall at Straz Center for the Performing Arts, Tampa)—JB
SAT 15
The Backfires w/Foxtide/Mak Opting to study abroad in London may have been the best decision Alex Gomez ever made. That’s when he met guitarist Harry Ruprecht at a Battle Of The Bands event, and the two hit it off well enough to introduce each other to some musical friends on both sides of the Atlantic. Five years after a debut EP, the whole of The Backfires has relocated to Manhattan’s West Village and last month, it dropped its debut album This Is Not An Exit , an anthemic collection that allows Gomez and friends’ British indie influences to seep through the cracks. California indie-rock quartet Foxtide opens for The Backfires’ Bay area debut. (Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa)—JB
Highest Crown w/Dissectomy/Blue Corpse/Crypt Keeper New stuff from Highest Crown is in the works, and this gig is a chance to see Dollie Disaster’s Palmetto hardcore outfit (which used to play the since-shuttered Born Free) back in a beloved community space. (Deviant Libation, Tampa)
Moors & McCumber It’s not always easy for parents and their children to bond over the same bands. But if you have fallen head over heels for Jason Isbell or Lucinda Williams after
THURSDAY FEB. 13–WEDNESDAY FEB. 19
being raised on Simon and Garfunkel or Seals & Croft, this harmonious duo might mend any familial musical tension. After meeting at a music festival in 2005, Wisconsin’s James Moors and Colorado’s Kort McCumber—both having led illustrious solo careers—began “defying common logic and embracing spontaneity to bring their stories and songs to life,” according to a press kit. Their latest album, 2023’s Wired To the Moon, has the minimalism and grittiness of an early Wallflowers record, and proves that not all harmonies have to hit that nerve every single time. James and Kort’s instrumental, double-volumed Companion albums are loaded with enough mandolin and traditional European influence that would impress the members of Steeleye Span (“All Around My Hat”). Maybe you’d be better off there. (Safety Harbor Art and Music Center, Safety Harbor)—JB
C Willie Nelson w/Randall King Don’t let the name of his 152nd album fool you, Nelson is on the road again. The 91-year-old country music icon released Last Leaf On the Tree last year, and the 13-track outing, produced by his youngest son, Micah, Leaf features more Trigger than Nelson’s recent outings and includes covers of Tom Waits, Neil Young, Nina Simone, the Flaming Lips, Beck, and more. Texas honky-tonker Randall King opens. (The BayCare Sound, Clearwater)
SUN 16
C Andy & the Doorbum w/Knife Rituals/Highway Advisory Radio With outlandish costumes and a melodic mash of raw vocals with evocative lyrics and a sprinkling of folk, Pennsylvania based artist Andrew Fenstermaker has been making music since he was nine years old. Fenstermaker’s sound has a sharp yet steady contrast from Knife Rituals and Highway Advisory Radio, which render more of a grungy and math rocky vibe. (Bananas Records, St. Petersburg)—Grace Stoler
C Emo Night Tampa: Better Place w/Pet Lizard/Walking Blue/nowincolor Per usual Emo Night Tampa has curated another bill that brings in a well-loved local (Pet Lizard) to play alongside out-towners. This time, the visitors—second wave revivalist Better place and flower-rock maker Walking Blue, both from Orlando—didn’t have to drive far. Anyone old enough to drink gets in for free, but it’s five bucks for everyone else 18 and older. (Crowbar, Ybor City)
C Judy Collins You can’t help but wonder if Collins—who first listened to Joni Mitchell singing her “Both Sides Now” over the phone— knew the eventual recording would launch both of their names into countless American households. These days, the 85-year-old folk singer has songwriting on her mind, largely thanks to her late friend, Leonard Cohen asking her why she didn’t write her own songs very early on. There surely won’t be a shortage of tracks from
her latest, all-originals album Spellbound , but you might also get to hear Collins quote a Facebook meme or two in between stories of her father during this rescheduled stop at downtown Clearwater’s historic 750-seater. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater)—JB
Ladies Rock St. Pete: A Concert To Benefit Girls Rock Thirty women who went through Ladies Rock Camp are set to unveil their hard work at this showcase where funds raise help set the table for the youngins who’ll also go through a week-long camp later this year. Rock camp alumni Anarkitty and Hex Appeal play support. Kids 10 and under get in free. (Bayboro Brewing, St. Petersburg)
TUE 18
Behind The Beats: Music Industry Networking Event The music scene would sound and look a lot different if it wasn’t for the humans who got No Clubs Presents off the ground (and keep it running 40 years later). To kickoff a year-long event series celebrating the milestone anniversary, founders like Tony Rifugiato invite local musicians, promoters venue owners and scene supporters to share space, talk music and help each other navigate the changing landscape of live music. (Bayboro Brewing, St. Petersburg)
WED 19
C The Main Squeeze w/Quinn Sullivan/ Ajeva In a 50-minute film released late last year, California funk and rock outfit The Main Squeeze sets up camp with the Tehachapi Mountains in the background and debuts eight new songs under the blistering sun. You won’t see the quintet in a more picturesque setting, but Crowbar is about as storied of a venue that live music lovers can get in this town. (Crowbar, Ybor City)
C Matt Nathanson w/Rachael Yamagata Lockdown songs are still finding their way to tape, and San Francisco songwriter Matt Nathanson finally has a collection of his to share. King Of (Un)Simple includes tunes recorded two or three times, often with totally different personnel, but the 51-yearold finally felt right about sharing them and has booked a nationwide tour that kicks off in Clearwater. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater)
C Tim Heidecker After playing his only Florida show of 2023 at Tampa Theater, Heidecker is back, this time in St. Pete where his Very Good Band plays songs from the 49-year-old’s 2024 album of comedic folkrock, Slipping Away, which Rolling Stone described as “some of Heidecker’s most fun and freewheeling work, and some of his most pensive and apocalyptic.” (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg)
See an extended version of this listing via cltampa.com/music.
C CL Recommends
Mamalarky
Tip the scales
By Caroline DeBruhl
Dear Oracle, the news is seriously freaking me out. I think staying informed is very important, but there are some serious diminishing returns to staying up late, doom scrolling ‘til the wee hours of the morning. How do I find that medium between staying up to date on current affairs but maintaining a level of sanity?—Click Click Doom
Cards: Page of Swords (reversed), Page of Cups (reversed), The Hanged Man (reversed), Justice
Dear CCD, as someone who recently calculated the cost of flying her dog to Europe on short notice, I resonate deeply with this question. I have the feeling that other readers may as well.
The tension between the Page of Swords and the Page of Cups seems like the issue, but it’s not. It’s between The Hanged Man and Justice.
The Hanged Man is a card of beatific sacrifice. He is misunderstood by his adversaries, but still, he doesn’t fight his plight. He knows who he is, and he gave it his all. This is what you’re doing. You know that the doom scrolling is wrecking your sanity, but you are giving into it because you are a compassionate person who must stay informed. You, like The Hanged Man, are a martyr for your cause.
ORACLE OF YBOR
Send your questions to oracle@cltampa.com or DM @theyboracle on Instagram
The battle on the surface is between the head and the heart—or, in this case, the Page of Swords and the Page of Cups. As the Page of Swords, you are intellectually passionate, hunger for knowledge, and value it. But as the Page of Cups, you are also passionate about people and relationships and feel things deeply.
To learn all you can may seem like the levelheaded thing to do, but all the horrific news will crush your soul because you are profoundly empathetic, and our current administration couldn’t give a fuck about other people. However, you know that putting your head in the sand is not an option either.
But here’s the thing about martyrs: they’re only good for propaganda. Being dead is the ultimate passive move.
And that’s where Justice comes in.
How much news to read vs. not are both the same side of the passive coin. Like The Hanged Man, you’re stuck in one place. Justice, however, is active. Justice pushes us over the threshold when we’re at the risk of losing ourselves to greed, selfishness, or even fear. It calls upon you to get up and do something, goddammit.
So, what’s the antidote to doom scrolling? Go out and fix that injustice instead of reading about it on Reddit. Phone bank, volunteer, fundraise—do something tangible that can actually help people right now. So many local charities and grassroots organizations need
very simple help—like someone to flyer a street, collect signatures, or pick up toilet paper from Costco. Find a way that you can help, ideally in the long term.
However, Justice’s scales must be balanced. We need balance in both our actions and lives. Audre Lorde said, “Caring for myself is not selfindulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Martyrdom helps no one. You must care for yourself—mentally, physically, spiritually—to keep fighting.
Also, maybe buy an alarm clock and charge your phone in another room at night. You probably need some sleep. Best of luck, my dear.
Dear Oracle, in these dark times, I want to find more of a community. I do have friends but many live elsewhere. What can I do to find my people?—Lost but Looking
Cards: Waning crescent, The Seeker, The Chariot, Page of Wands
Dear Looking, first, I want to start with the pragmatic answer. With the free-spirited Page of Wands, you’ll find a community by exploring and trying new things. And then, with the full power of The Chariot, you’re going to plow into that community, full steam ahead.
You’re going to show up to that potluck with a dish, you’re going to commit to that cribbage club calendar of events, you’re going to out-stitch every bitch at that sewing circle. You’re going to find what your people are doing and do it all the time, and that’s how you’ll build community. You show up. Consistently.
The tricky part is finding the right community for you. The Waning Crescent is a time of
reflection and peace. What you need is not only a community but a community where you can be your whole, vulnerable self without worry. It won’t do to just join a club or team or volunteer and still find yourself masking who you really are and what you feel. Superficial interactions can feel even more draining and depressing than just being alone.
With the Seeker, I think you should focus on finding a community that feeds your soul— something that centers around what you value and what brings you peace. This might be a more traditional spiritual practice, like joining a church or temple. It might be a meditation class, an arts collective, a weirdo film club. It should be something that tends to that spark in you because when you embrace that Chariot power and go all in, that spark will grow into a fire.
That is how you’ll find more meaningful interactions and, hopefully, deeper relationships. As you explore, though, keep in mind that a specific community might be the right fit for right now but if you find yourself outgrowing it down the road, that’s OK, too. Not everything is meant for us forever.
However, if you keep honoring that spark, you’ll still be making those connections and weaving your own web of community. It requires a lot of bravery to put yourself out there to meet people and a lot of intention to nurture those connections into friendships. I hope you can find a group of people who let you express your true self, help you feel at peace, and are a joy to be around. We should all be so lucky to have that in our lives.
Caroline reads tarot on Friday, Feb. 14 from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. at La France in Ybor City.
The counterfeit
By Dan Savage
I am a 30-year-old cishet woman from the Pacific Northwest. I am reaching out today about faking orgasms. I have been dating this guy for about six months and he is perfect. I love everything about him and part of that is I feel like we have great sex. The caveat is that I have never had an orgasm during sex with him and consistently fake them. I have always had a very challenging time achieving orgasm with partners, whether male or female. As it turns out, the thing he loves most about sex is when his partner starts getting loud right before or during her orgasm. He doesn’t just love it: it turns out that it is almost always the thing that makes him come. So, I started faking orgasms when we first started dating and hoped that things would change as we got to know each other’s bodies. Now, six months later, I’m still not having orgasms—which again, is not unusual for me during partnered sex—but I want him to enjoy sex with me, so I’ve kept faking it. Even the few times where I haven’t faked it, he can still cum, but he really ruminates on it. It’s very clear that he doesn’t have as much fun, which, for me, spoils the whole experience. I want to be clear that having an orgasm isn’t the goal for myself during sex. What I love about sex is the physical intimacy, feeling close to my partner, and providing pleasure to someone I deeply care about. That’s why I feel like I still intensely enjoy sex with him, despite the faking. However, as our relationship progresses, the lie is weighing on me. I can see myself marrying this guy, but I just can’t get past the question: Am I going to be faking orgasms for 40 years? That seems like a horrid betrayal of him. What do I do? How do I unravel this?—Future About Keeping Everything Real
SAVAGE LOVE
be able to hear without falling apart. I also believe straight men should be able to wrap their heads around why women might fake an orgasm with new partners and then feel obligated to keep faking orgasms. (I also think men should admit that we would fake orgasms if we could.) So, while lies are generally bad, I would argue that there’s a difference between a wholly self-serving lie meant to deceive and a partly selfserving lie meant to spare.
Some men do feel humiliated—some men feel betrayed—when they’re told (or they discover) that their partners have been faking orgasms, and if a small lie (“my orgasms have gotten more elusive”) helps a woman back a bigger lie (months or years of faked orgasms) without hurting her partner’s feelings, I will allow it.
But your issue is a little different, FAKER, since your partner sulks when you don’t fake an orgasm— and thinking
There are two things I want you to do, FAKER: First, go see “Babygirl”—alone—and then watch some gay porn with your boyfriend. Zooming out for a second…
I’ve advised partnered women who wanted to stop faking orgasms to start faking something else: getting close. After a few months of getting fake close instead of fake there, a woman can say this to her boyfriend or husband: “Something changed with my body when I hit [insert current age] and it’s made my orgasms harder to achieve—it even happens when I try on my own—so it looks like we’re going to have to experiment with some new things to get me there!”
That’s a lie—obviously—but it’s a defensible one.
Now, let the record show that I believe “I’ve been faking it” is something a man should
you’re there helps him get there— which puts you under additional pressure to keep faking it.
Reading your letter made me think of Romy, the powerful CEO played by Nicole Kidman in “Babygirl.” (Anyone who thinks sharing a couple of details from the first two minutes of a movie that’s been out for months—and has been widely discussed everywhere—constitutes a “spoiler” should skip the rest of this response.) The film opens on Romy (Kidman) having sex with her husband Jacob (Antonio Banderas). It looks like Romy is having an orgasm—it looks like Romy and Jacob are coming at the same time (that happens a lot in
movies)—but then we see Romy slip down the hall and into her home office, where she gets herself off while watching porn. The real orgasm we see Romy have by herself (primal, grunting, animalistic) looks and sounds nothing like the fake orgasm we just watched Romy perform for her husband. Later in the film, Jacob is devastated to learn Romy has been faking orgasms the entire time they’ve been together; that revelation does almost as much damage to their marriage as the affair with her hot male intern.
I think seeing “Babygirl”—alone—will inspire you to level with your boyfriend now, FAKER, instead of waiting until you’ve been together (and faking it) for 20 years.
As for your boyfriend’s issue—he has a hard time coming unless he thinks you’re coming and sulks if you don’t— you need to
Now, I’ve encouraged opposite-sex couples who wanna have simultaneous orgasms during PIV to watch gay porn and pay close attention to what the bottoms are doing in scenes where the top and bottom come at the same time: the bottoms are stroking themselves and communicating—verbally and non-verbally—with their tops as their orgasms approach. So, straight men who want their girlfriends or wives to come at the same time they do during PIV need to stimulate their partners’ clits and/or encourage their partners to stimulate their own clits during PIV. (And any straight man who won’t stimulate his partner’s clit and/or discourages his partner from stimulating her own clit isn’t interested in his partner coming.)
Google “copulatory vocalizations,” share a few articles with your boyfriend, and then sit down to watch some gay porn together.
Copulatory vocalizations are the noises female primates tend to make during sex; sometimes female primates make these sounds—sometimes they howl—because they’re climaxing, sometimes female primates make these sounds because they’re trying to attract other mates, and sometimes female primates make these sounds because hearing them pushes male primates over the edge. (Sometimes it’s all of the above.)
What your boyfriend needs—what’s already working for him is not your orgasms, FAKER, it’s your copulatory vocalizations. And this is where gay porn comes in.
But what I want you and your partner to watch for are scenes where the top comes but the bottom doesn’t. If watching gay PIB turns you off—there are a lot of closeups and anal isn’t for everybody—you can close your eyes and listen, FAKER, because it’s actually what you’re gonna hear that’s important: bottoms getting loud and staying loud even when they don’t come. There’s nothing the least bit insincere about their copulatory vocalizations, i.e. the sounds gay bottoms make when they’re getting fucked. And you can see (if you open your eyes) that the sounds gay bottoms make when they’re getting fucked help push the men fucking them over the edge. And they’re not faking it, FAKER, they’re loving it. (In case you live in a red state where Republicans have made online porn harder to access, I transcribed a short gay porn clip for you: Top: “Your ass feels so good!” Bottom: “Your cock feels so good! Fuck me, daddy! Oh, my God! Yes! YES! Fuuuuuuuck! Fuck me! Come in me, daddy! UH! UH! UHHHH! FUCK, YEAH! YES! YES!”)
Like the power bottoms in gay porn, FAKER, you should be able moan and groan and shout encouragement to your boyfriend without having to pretend you’re coming when you’re not. The only way to avoid having to fake orgasms for the next 40 years is by getting your boyfriend to understand that your copulatory vocalizations—even in the absence of an orgasm—are signals of your sexual pleasure and (sigh) his sexual prowess. If straight men can wrap their heads around why women sometimes fake orgasms (and they can wrap their heads around it), your boyfriend should be able to wrap his head around the fact that you’re already giving him everything he needs in the runup to his orgasm; even if he can’t make you come during PIV, he can make you howl.
And that—your copulatory vocalizations— aren’t nothing, FAKER, and it sure beats being lied to and/or having to lie every time you have sex.
P.S. I shouldn’t say men can’t fake orgasms, as some men have faked orgasms. But we’re less likely to, less likely to need to, and less likely to get away with it when we try (an empty condom/ hole is a bit of a tell.)
75 “He should have had ___ of farewells” (Richard II) 78 ... which is why he’s now in ___ ...
End of Lenin?
... working as a ___
Short play
... in a ___ ... 90 But I regale him with tales of adventure and ___! ...
95 Like Urkel’s voice
Oyster’s prize
Pub order
Renowned refrain
‘Come with me!’ I say. ‘Be an ___ of lost worlds!’ ...
Dropped, as prices
And suddenly we’re in Italy, driving through ___ (pardon the spelling) ...
Honeybunch
Ice cream brand
Jackie’s 1950s co-star
... heading for a ___ with destiny just 25 miles away ...
Antlered animal
R&B and rock, e.g.: abbr.
Opera selection
Big lake
... scaling the only mountain in the world that ___ (continues at 131) ...
Frog’s hangout
Fragile cartonful
___ (So, where the heck are we??? See the puzzle’s solution for the answer)
