Scene Sept 16, 2015 by Chava Communications

september 16 – 22, 2015 • VOL. 46 Issue 11

The struggle to save (or close) Lakewood Hospital is a circus act with

no signs of ending By Eric Sandy

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© 2015 Goose Island Beer Company, Chicago, IL. Enjoy responsibly. Great American Beer Festival® Awards (Category: English Style India Pale Ale): 2012 Gold (India Pale Ale), 2009 Silver (IPA), 2007 Silver (India Pale Ale), 2004 Silver (Goose Island India Pale Ale), 2001 Bronze (India Pale Ale), 2000 Gold (Goose Island IPA).

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 3

SEPTEMBER 16-22, 2015 • VOLUME 46 NO 11

Dedicated to Free Times founder Richard H. Siegel (1935-1993) and Scene founder Richard Kabat Publisher Chris Keating Associate Publisher Desiree Bourgeois Editor Vince Grzegorek

CONTENTS Upfront

Framed

Feature

Get Out!

Art

Stage

Herbicide spraying begins at Mentor Marsh, Refugee Welcome Week under way in Cleveland, and more

Editorial Managing Editor Eric Sandy Music Editor Jeff Niesel Staff Writer Sam Allard Web Editor Alaina Nutile Dining Editor Douglas Trattner Contributing Dining Editor Nikki Delamotte Stage Editor Christine Howey Visual Arts Editor Josh Usmani Interns Caitlin Summers, Dana Hetrick, Alexandra Hintz, Xan Schwartz, Brandon Koziol

All the best photos we’ve shared with you this week

Advertising Senior Multimedia Account Executive John Crobar, Shayne Rose Multimedia Account Executive Kiara Hunter-Davis, Joseph Williamson, Savannah Drdek, Kelsey Cullen Classifi ed Account Executive Alice Leslie

The struggle to save (or close) Lakewood Hospital has become a circus act.

Marketing and Events Jenna Conforti, Gina Scordos Creative Services Production Manager Steve Miluch Layout Editor/Graphic Designer Christine Hahn Staff Photographer Emanuel Wallace

Dozens of events spanning the next week in Cleveland

Business Asst. To The Publisher Angela Lott Sales Assistant/Receptionist Megan Stimac Circulation Circulation Director Don Kriss Euclid Media Group Chief Executive Offi cer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Offi cers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Chief Financial Offi cer Brian Painley Human Resources Director Lisa Beilstein Digital Operations Coordinator Jaime Monzon www.euclidmediagroup.com

2731 Prospect opens with two local exhibitions

The Cleveland Play House’s 100th year starts this season

National Advertising Voice Media Group 1-800-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com Cleveland Scene 737 Bolivar Rd, #4100 Cleveland, OH 44115 www.clevescene.com Phone 216-241-7550 Retail & Classifi ed Fax 216-241-6275 Editoral Fax 216-802-7212 E-mail scene@clevescene.com

Film

Dining

Maze Runner strikes back with solid second installment

Cleveland Scene Magazine is published every week by Euclid Media Group. Verifi ed Audit Member Cleveland Distribution Scene is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader Copyright The entire contents of Cleveland Scene Magazine are copyright 2015 by Euclid Media Group. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above. Subscriptions $150 (1 yr); $ 80 (6 mos.) Send name, address and zip code with check or money order to the address listed above with the title ‘Attn: Subscription Department’

In a landscape of sterile steakhouses, Cabin Club is a charming classic that doesn’t need to change

Music

Savage Love

248-620-2990

...The story continues at clevescene.com

The Alarm’s Mike Peters revisits band’s 1985 album, and more

You’re blowing our minds Printed By

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SCENE with you with our iPad app! “Cleveland Scene Magazine” COVER ART BY RUSS WHITE

YEARS OF COOL EYEWEAR! Downtown Cleveland

Are You Seeing Clearly?

Eyes Examined • Stephen Sasala, OD

800 Huron Road, Downtown Cleveland • (216)781-7900 • www.jeroldoptical.com

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 5

UPFRONT MENTOR MARSH HERBICIDE USE RANKLES RESIDENTS This week, service employees of the Cleveland Museum of Natural History will begin “handspraying” Mentor Marsh with an herbicide that includes the chemical glyphosate. Next week, the chemical will be sprayed across various points of the park’s 691 acres via helicopter. The herbicide work will be done in tandem with other efforts to revive the park’s biodiversity and reputation. The use of glyphosate is causing concern for some in the area. The marsh is surrounded by little residential developments (e.g. Deer Wood Estates, Tall Pine Estates, Woodhill) comprising hundreds of homes. The story took off when the city posted a video on Youtube detailing CMNH’s plan to eradicate invasive reeds (phragmites). David Kriska, the biodiversity coordinator of the CMNH, explained that a helicopter will be spraying “Roundup” across the marsh. The city responded and clarified: “The generic usage of ‘RoundUp’ was given since most people really don’t know what glyphosate is.” A city rep later wrote in a Youtube comment that Aquaneat will be used. (According to a report developed by Oregon State University and Intertox Inc., Aquaneat contains 53.8 percent glyphosate to Roundup Pro Concentrate’s 50.2 percent.) The city, via social media and email communications with residents, has insisted that a) the spraying is being done in accordance with EPA regulations and b) the matter is out of their hands, as CMNH is the “steward” of this land. Inquiries left with CMNH had not been returned as of Tuesday morning. Still, glyphosate is no stranger

Photo by Erik Drost/Flickr

Controversial herbicide use is part of the biodiversity revival program at Mentor Marsh.

to worrisome scientific studies and public outcry. Mentor resident Austin Homrighaus, who lives near the marsh, isn’t convinced that this herbicide method is the best recourse for the community: “There is no way that won’t affect my property and the dozens of other properties that surround the Marsh’s perimeter,” he says. “I fear for long term effects this will have on the health of wife, daughter, dogs, and self, as well as the Marsh’s plant and animal life.” In March 2015 the World Health Organization’s International Agency for Research on Cancer classified glyphosate as “probably carcinogenic in humans” based on epidemiological studies, animal studies, and in vitro studies.

ACTION!

THIS WEEK

INNOVATION!

Key Tower, tallest building in Cleveland, goes up for sale. City Council drafts mixed-use zoning plans, hoping to draw luxury residential and “maybe an in-house craft beer farmers market archery range.”

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

Colombia announced in May 2015 that by October it would cease using glyphosate in coca eradication programs due to concerns about human toxicity of the chemical. Just last week, California’s Environmental Protection Agency announced intentions to list glyphosate as a “carcinogenic chemical.” And even as Northeast Ohioans gather at parks along the lake to wish our bountiful Monarch butterfly populations bon voyage as they head south for the winter, recent and ongoing studies point out that glyphosate use likely contributes to killing off those very Monarch butterfly populations, according to a lawsuit filed by the Natural Resources Defense Council.

Browns starting QB John McCown suffers concussion in end-zone fumble on first drive of season. Screenwriter Aaron Sorkin praised for “beautifully consistent tone” in pilot episode of his new Browns series.

ENTERPRISE!

McDonald’s all-day breakfast menu started early in Northeast Ohio. Your cousin in Brook Park, who dipped cheeseburgers in syrup and sold them out of his garage at lunch break, is now out of business.

Monsanto developed and patented the use of glyphosate to kill weeds back in the 1970s (which patent expired in 2000); the chemical has been marketed as Roundup since 1973. Glyphosate has since become a flashpoint of controversy since -- still in wide use even as many government agencies begin backing away from it.

REFUGEES WELCOME Last week, city leaders convened at the Ariel International Center on E. 40 St., on the lakeside fringes of Asiatown, to brainstorm ways to effectively welcome refugees to Cleveland. The “Open Doors Workshop,” energetically spearheaded by

YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE Hey, the Cavs’ championship run begins in six weeks.

FLATS EAST BANK

TAILGATEs

Park at the Flats East Bank each home football game to cheer on your favorite team!

Sunday, September 20 Sunday, September 27

Visit the Flats East Bank Facebook events page for weekly updates on tailgate promotions at our

Sunday, October 18

variety of restaurants and entertainment venues.

Sunday, November 1

Flats East Bank lots open at 6 a.m.

Monday, November 30 Sunday, December 6 Sunday, December 13

FLATS E A S T

Sunday, January 3

B A N K

Must pay for ALL spaces used for tailgating not just vehicles parked. No charcoal grills or open flames (propane only). No cooking/grilling permitted in the garage. Please stay off the landscape/grass areas. Trespassing along the Railroad Tracks will not be permitted. Parking aisles MUST remain clear.

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West 11th & Front Street magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 7

UPFRONT

DIGIT WIDGET

Councilman Joe Cimperman, comes during a time of widespread international crises. Refugees from the Middle East in general and Syria in particular are arriving en masse on European shores, seeking sanctuary from the violence and persecution of their homes. Nations are scrambling to fast-track refugee policies. In Washington, President Obama suggested that the U.S. accept 10,000 Syrian refugees next year, a number viewed as way too low by congressional Dems and way too high by congressional Republicans -- WHAT IF THEY’RE TERRORISTS, after all? Stacy Dever, of Catholic Charities and the Refugee Services Collaborative, mentioned in her introductory remarks last week that the United States lets in roughly 70,000 refugees per year, a drop in the bucket compared to the estimated 59 million displaced people worldwide, and the four million that have been forced to flee Syria. Dever said that the average wait time in refugee camps is about seven years. After remarks by Cimperman, Mayor Frank Jackson, County Executive Armond Budish, the Ariel International Center’s effusive Radhika Reddy, and Stacy Dever, breakout sessions explored individual topics related to the refugee experience: transportation, housing, education, health, etc. Cimperman said that the goals of the workshop were threefold: building relationships among city leaders and those working in relevant refugee services fields; educating one another about the issues; and creating a blueprint to make Cleveland the number one city in the country for refugees in five years. Cimperman said that in 30 days, he will produce a report based on the workshop’s results to present to the community, a sort of status update. “Today is less of a call to action,”

4, 438

Cimperman said, “it’s more a reminder...to figure out how, in a world that is getting crazier and a city and region that is getting better, how do we become an even more welcoming place with intentionality, with jobs, with education, with social services, with transportation, language and the law, to figure out how we continue to be the city we are called to be.” Two weeks back, Cleveland welcomed its very first Syrian refugee family to Cleveland. They’ll get to participate in Refugee Welcome Week, part of a nationwide Welcoming Week (9/12-9/20), which locally includes: an evening of refugee art at the Cleveland Public Library; screenings of five short documentary films Thursday evening at the Capitol Theatre; and a day of soccer and snacks at Lakewood’s Madison Park Saturday.

SHITTY SUPERINTENDENT WATCH Next on the roster of negligent / criminal / tyrannical / batshit insane Northeast Ohio school superintendents: Maple Heights’ Superintendent Charles Keenan, who was arrested early Sunday morning for operating a vehicle while intoxicated. But even after the hard-nosed investigative sleuthing of the Fox 8 I-team, we here at Scene couldn’t speculate where the 48-yearold Keenan was getting blasted Saturday night. He was stopped at 6:53 a.m. on State Route 334 (Western Ohio, between Columbus and Dayton), according to reports, by the Lisbon Post of the Ohio State Highway Patrol. He was scheduled to appear in Columbiana County Municipal Court (Eastern Ohio, where Lisbon is the County seat), Tuesday morning. Maple Heights School Board members were naturally distraught, but issued no comment other than to say that they’d be gathering more information. Keenan, meanwhile, is no doubt kicking himself as he reflects on the

Statewide insurance claims for metal theft between 2012 and 2014, more than any other state.

$960,500

irony of his lately publicized Vision Statement for the 2015 academic year, a vision statement designed to “drive the actions of all adults who work with our students”: Educating Our Students, through Expectations of Excellence,to Prepare Them for a Lifetime of Success.

STATE SCHOOL BOARD MEMBERS WALK OUT OF CLOSED MEETING IN PROTEST Speaking of leading by example. In statewide education news -- the most scandalous sort, these days -- four board members walked out of a closed executive session Monday when they thought that State Superintendent Richard Ross would try to explain away his involvement in the current charter school evaluation mess. If you’re not familiar, former “School Choice Director” David Hansen -- husband of Gov. John Kasich’s chief of staff / campaign director Beth Hansen -- resigned in July because he omitted failing grades from certain charter schools in evaluations. The question now is how much Superintendent Richard Ross knew about it. The PD’s Patrick O’Donnell has been tracking the meetings and email trail like a Redtail Hawk and reported Monday that board member Stephanie Dodd was the first to leave the afternoon meeting. She felt that any potential explanation from Ross in a closed-door executive session violated Ohio’s open meeting laws. Three other board members followed her out. Republicans on the school board say their lawyer told them the session ought to be closed, given that Democrats had allegedly proposed firing Ross and personnel matters are supposed to be discussed in private. Dodd & Co. say that’s not the case. Others certainly proposed firing Ross, but she just wants an explanation, and she wants it to be public. The Dept. of Education spokeswoman Kim Norris told O’Donnell that Dodd was simply grandstanding, and that further discussion of the charter school evaluations would occur Tuesday.

Value of most expensive single-family home sold in Cleveland last month, on Harbor View Drive in the Edgewater neighborhood. It was also the priciest home sold County-wide.

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

$400 million

Cost of ongoing expansion at Crocker Park, which will include new residences, a LuluLemon, an Orvis and other retailers.

$5.5 MILLION AWARDED IN POLICE WRONGFUL DEATH CASE The family of Kenny Smith was awarded $5.5 million last week by a federal jury in a civil case that found that Officer Roger Jones had used excessive force in shooting and killing Smith during a 2012 incident. We reported on the the case here a few weeks ago -- and in a 2012 feature about Smith’s budding rap career and the effect his death had on his circle of friends. The shooting, which predates the media storm over police use-offorce incidents, fell swiftly out of the conversation about public safety. It remains one of the more brazen instances of a Cleveland police officer shooting an young, unarmed black man. At odds with the decision is a lingering statement from Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Timothy McGinty. In 2014, ruling the shooting “justified,” McGinty hailed Jones for “correctly and heroically [taking] action to protect the safety of the citizens of Cleveland.” Relatedly, the trial of Devonta Hill is set to begin this week (although it’s been postponed repeatedly for years, so who knows). Hill was driving the car that Smith was in during the shooting. He is charged with murder, involuntary manslaughter, aggravated riot, tampering with evidence, discharge of a firearm near prohibited premises, two counts of failure to comply and four counts of felonious assault. “It’s totally insane, this case — the way the system has treated it,” Terry Gilbert, an attorney for Smith’s family in the federal court case, told Scene last month. “[That includes] McGinty by not prosecuting the cop and putting the blame on this driver, who was already out of the car and on the ground when the offduty cop shot [Smith] at point-blank range in the head.”

scene@clevescene.com t @cleveland_scene

$1,160

Monthly rent for a new Crocker Park studio apartment. A studio!

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 9

FRAMED!

our best shots from last week Photos by Emanuel Wallace, Scott Sandberg*

The goods @ Cleveland Garlic Festival

Get set! @ NEOCycle

Muddy terrain @ NEOCycle

Lotsa cans @ Rock the Core Cider Fest

‘I’ve Done Everything For You’ @ Rick Springfield at Jacobs Pavilion*

Peter Wolf @ The J. Geils Band at Hard Rock Live*

Garlic merchandise @ Cleveland Garlic Festival

Presentation @ Cleveland Garlic Festival

Garlic’cue @ Cleveland Garlic Festival

Rounding the corner @ NEOCycle

Artistic endeavors @ NEOCycle

Pourin’ @ Rock the Core Cider Fest

Rep the Woodchuck @ Rock the Core Cider Fest

Under the umbrella @ Rock the Core Cider Fest

James and the Giant Garlic @ Cleveland Garlic Festival

Never miss a beat! See more pics @ clevescene.com Cheers! @ Rock the Core Cider Fest

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

Share your best shots with SCENE – just tag or mention us! ™ @ clevescene t @ cleveland_scene ` @ ClevelandScene • #clevescene

GRAND OPENING! Cleveland

Thursday - Saturday September 24 - 26 9am - 10pm Find quality used clothing, jewelry, housewares, books, toys, and more at amazing low prices!

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savers.com magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 11

Love food, travel or nightlife? Join us for the Hospitality Management Open House! 1-3 p.m., Saturday, October 10, 2015 WHERE: Hospitality Management Center on Public Square, 180 Euclid Ave. PARKING: ProPark Garage, level 6. 2047 Ontario St., between Prospect and Euclid Avenues. • Learn more about our Hospitality Management program from our faculty • Hospitality is of the area’s hottest and fastest-growing career options with amazing job perks • Plus enjoy free student-prepared refreshments

RSVP to 216-987-4081 or hospitality@tri-c.edu | www.tri-c.edu/hospitality 15-0672

Performing Arts 2015 Fall Season

Ellen Fullman

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Thu-Sat September 24–26

Sun October 4

The Sarajevo Haggadah

7:30 p.m. Transformer Station

2:00 p.m. Gartner Auditorium

7:30 p.m. Gartner Auditorium

Calder Quartet

James Feddeck

Mon November 16

Organ

7:30 p.m. Transformer Station

Wed October 28

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

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Sun December 6

Plus monthly free concerts in the galleries and more. Find tickets, student discount info, and performance details at

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New Savers Store Opening in Cleveland (Brooklyn), OH

Since 1954, Savers thrift superstores have provided shoppers with the best value and selection of secondhand goods while also supporting local nonprofit organizations. On Thursday, September 24 Savers will open a new store in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Cleveland. Savers has pioneered a thrift store experience that has defied typical expectations for secondhand shopping. You won’t find cluttered piles and broken equipment on the shelves at Savers. Instead, shoppers will find the new store to be spacious, well-lit and easy to navigate. The inventory is carefully curated so that shoppers are provided with easy access to high-quality goods at affordable prices. Carrying everything from clothing and accessories, to housewares, electronics and more, Savers is no ordinary thrift store, with more than 100,000 items on its sales floor at any given time. Customers will find a fresh stock of valuepriced goods, including authentic vintage finds and name brand fashions, with up to 10,000 new items placed on the floor each day. “We’ve been working incredibly hard to prepare the store for opening day and can’t wait to share all we have to offer with the Brooklyn community,” said Ron Forrai, Savers store manager. “We look forward to providing our customers with unbelievable deals, but we also take great pride in supporting our nonprofit partners and protecting the environment. Just about everybody likes to save money, support nonprofits, and go green, and we make it easy to do all three.” Each Savers store partners with a local nonprofit. Savers pays this organization when customers donate their

goods to the nonprofit at the store’s on-site Community Donation Center or if the nonprofit picks up the donation at their home. Savers pays the nonprofit whether or not the items make it to the sales floor. The new Brooklyn store’s Community Donation Center, which is now open, provides a convenient way to donate goods and support Easter Seals Northern Ohio at the same time. Savers’ partnership with Easter Seals provides the organization with a steady source of funding that allows them to provide exceptional services, education, outreach and advocacy so that people living with autism and other disabilities can live, learn, work and play in the communities of Northern Ohio. Savers is also on a mission to create a better world through reuse. Savers is one of the largest recyclers of used goods in the world, keeping more than 650 million pounds of reusable items from landfills each year. That’s comparable to 3,000 blue whales’ worth of clothing and housewares! Located at 7100 Brookpark Road, grand opening festivities begin Thursday, September 24, starting at 8:45 a.m. with a ribbon cutting ceremony that is open to the public. The store will Get a discount every be open Monday through time you dona te to Saturday from 9 a.m. to our nonprofit pa rtner 10 p.m., and Sunday from and save up to 30% 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. More information can be found at savers.com.

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 13

Photo by Eric Sandy

FEATURE

Under the Big Top

The struggle to save (or close) Lakewood Hospital is a circus act with

no signs of ending By Eric Sandy

Tom Monahan slaps a clipboard onto a long wooden table that runs half the length of his front porch. “We’re getting there,” he says, gawking from behind a pair of eyeglasses and tossing a ballpoint pen onto the papers. He’s talking about gathering thousands of signatures in support of a charter amendment issue for the city of Lakewood. He’s talking about saving Lakewood Hospital. 14

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

Photo courtesy of Cleveland Press Archives

This house where Monahan lives is the house that Dr. C. Lee Graber built in the very early years of the 20th century. The front windows are tucked low into the walls’ wooden frames, because Graber’s wife, Belle, was an invalid and she liked to sit in her wheelchair and watch the nascent suburb buzz by each day. The city was transforming back then, as it is now. The Grabers mortgaged their home to open Lakewood Hospital just up the road in 1907, and what was then a 15-bed hub in the center of town soon became a cornerstone for Lakewood, for its culture and legacy. Monahan, a retired Cleveland Press reporter and former assistant safety director in Cleveland, is one of many residents working to keep it that way. Cleveland Clinic, which operates the hospital, has signaled its intent to close and demolish the hospital and open a $34-million outpatient “family health center” in its place. Despite the finality with which the argument has been framed, representatives at City Hall have insisted that it’s just a proposal. Cleveland Clinic operations are conducted via a 1996 “definitive agreement” with the Lakewood Hospital Association (LHA), a private nonprofit that leases the hospital property from the city. The public owns a majority of the hospital. Because the arc of Lakewood’s biggest story in years has become so distorted and divisive, it’s hard to say what will happen. In the words of one City Hall staffer, “It’s confusing as heck.” Several things are certain, though. This struggle to save or shutter the hospital is changing the city’s landscape — its culture and legacy — irrevocably. And while the closure of Lakewood Hospital isn’t a done deal per se, it has been discussed publicly as such all year. Documents obtained from the Clinic show that it’s been part of a master plan for at least three years. “Keeping the hospital open is just not an option,” Mayor Mike Summers said during a February meeting of the city’s Active Living/Recreation Taskforce. Later in the year, a report published by the Huron Business Advisory group demonstrated that keeping the hospital open in some form is definitely an option. Dissonance like that is where Monahan comes in. Faced with what they’re calling a propaganda campaign, Monahan and his group — Save Lakewood Hospital, several hundred strong across the city — peppered the neighborhoods with petitions that would amend the city charter in such a way as to trigger an automatic voter referendum in the

Lakewood Hospital in 1956.

event of any future hospital closure. The seven members of City Council, deeply divided over the hospital issue, unanimously approved the ballot measure. Whether or not council approves the hospital closure plan before the November election remains to be seen. The opposition is not so much the nostalgia trip it may outwardly seem — although, for instance, Monahan’s children were all born at Lakewood Hospital, and the building itself remains an iconic symbol for the city. Rather, this struggle is about the bottom line and about civic autonomy. Summers has proclaimed that the new family health center will help make Lakewood the “healthiest city in America.” But there’s been little accounting for what Lakewood has lost and will continue to lose along the way, and promises of the “healthiest city in America” ring hollow without addressing a litany of other problems that have nothing to do with what operates in that building. But we digress … “This is all about money,” Monahan says. “So, ‘We’re going to build our own building and we’re going to own it and you can’t tell us what to do.’ That’s the whole nut of this thing. Hey, you guys signed a 30-year lease for this thing, as far as I’m concerned. Honor it.”

On Jan. 15 this year, Mayor Summers told his constituents that Cleveland Clinic and the Lakewood Hospital Association would close Lakewood Hospital in 2016 — 10 years prior to the end of long-standing contracts and right in line with the opening of a gleaming, $143-million hospital in Avon. (The Cleveland Clinic has dubbed that new facility a “hospital of the future.”) In what was to become a running tagline, Summers insisted in his remarks that “changes in health care” made

Lakewood Hospital’s 263 inpatient beds and some 1,100 employees outmoded and unsustainable. Throughout the press conference, the matter was treated as an inevitability. Here’s the lead-off sentence, for instance, from the Northeast Ohio Media Group’s coverage on that day: “Cleveland Clinic and the Lakewood Hospital Association will close Lakewood Hospital and replace it with a health center by late 2016, officials said today.” But later, City Hall officials began backing away from the finality of it all, describing the Clinic’s letter of intent (LOI) as nothing more than a proposal. On May 31, the Clinic’s LOI expired. (Any plan would ultimately need City Council approval — but even after eight months of public vetting, they don’t have the five necessary votes.) Still, the letter is a worthy read. In short, the plan is to dissolve the two anchoring contracts: the lease between the LHA and the city and the definitive agreement between the LHA and the Clinic. A new agreement would be enacted, which would call for the termination of hospital operations and the “wind-down and dissolution” of the LHA. The LHA, created in 1985 by the city to operate a functioning hospital in Lakewood, would pay for its own dissolution, as well as the demolition of the hospital. Nearly all assets — hospital equipment and otherwise — would be transferred to Clinic ownership, and the city would sell the future family health center land parcels to the Clinic. The leftover 5.7 acres of land would be set aside for the city’s future development. “Economic development needs to be our highest priority,” finance director Jennifer Pae said, describing the city’s goals, in April. The hospital land sits a few blocks east of “downtown Lakewood,” a newly revitalized commercial corridor on

Detroit Avenue. After the smoke clears, Lakewood would have on its hands a family health center, much like East Cleveland’s Stephanie Tubbs Jones Health Center, and a nonprofit wellness foundation. The health center would include an emergency room and a range of outpatient services. Critics use the phrase “referral center,” noting that Lakewood patients will likely be transferred to wholly owned Clinic hospitals like Fairview or Lutheran. The Clinic would give $24.4 million and 16 subsequent annual payments of $500,000 to the foundation for personnel costs and health-related services: $32 million all told. How that money is spent — like much in the foundation’s inner workings — remains to be seen. (The cash transactions also permit the Clinic a future “naming opportunity.”) The nut of this thing, though, is market share. Per the plan, the Clinic would be “principal health care system affiliate” of the foundation and would retain first refusal rights for any partnership with a wellness program or service that pulls in at least $500,000 in revenue. And despite the city’s repeated claims that the health care marketplace is highly competitive in Northeast Ohio, the Clinic has balked at the idea: “Unless the Clinic were to grant prior approval,” the letter states, “no health care system provider would be permitted to operate or manage a facility ... on the land currently leased by the city to LHA while the Clinic owns and operates the [family health center.]” MetroHealth, the community later learned, had twice submitted its own proposal that would have maintained inpatient hospital operations and contractual obligations. Attorneys there have since backed away. There’s also the provision in the LOI that the city may not pursue legal action — for example, breaches of contract — against the Clinic or the LHA. The Clinic specifically insists that the mayor, a member of the LHA, publicly support this transition. The letter may have expired, but the idea remains very much alive. The mayor’s big announcement — the plan, concrete or abstract as it is — has set a community to wrestling with its past, present and future.

The city and the Clinic have, in some ways, always had a bit of an odd relationship. When the Clinic wanted to come into Lakewood in the mid-’90s and open a hospital north of Detroit, negotiations culminated with the Clinic taking over Lakewood Hospital and the LHA overseeing operations

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 15

Photo by Caitlin Summers

FEATURE

Lakewood residents celebrate the 50 th anniversary of Medicare on July 30.

-- serving the will of the public, in theory. The LHA, a Clinic-dominated board that includes two council members and the mayor, is seen by the public as an outpost of Clinic policy. Its purpose, though, is to represent the city’s interests through the lease it maintains. With, for instance, $91 million in estimated deferred maintenance on the hospital property to date, the public has questioned the aptitude of the LHA — now more than ever. Lakewood Hospital was never the hallmark of the Clinic’s innovative portfolio. Even in the past 20 years, under Clinic rule, the place has functioned as a community hospital, a bigger and more modern version of what Dr. C. Lee Graber envisioned 100 years ago. Over time, though, medical services and specialties came and went. In 2010, under then-mayor Ed FitzGerald, the LHA adopted a contract revision with the Clinic that ushered in the Vision for Tomorrow plan — a comprehensive policy shift that would mark Lakewood Hospital a “center of excellence” in four specialties. In return, the hospital would lose its pediatric and trauma care programs. Monahan and the Save Lakewood Hospital contingent point to this as the beginning of the current crisis, one helmed by the Clinic itself.

“Lakewood Hospital is committed to the Lakewood community and will continue to maintain its status as the city’s major employer,” Clinic officials wrote in a 2010 letter to FitzGerald. City Council approved the Vision for Tomorrow plan with the public intent to continue operations through the lease and agreement’s expiration in 2026. Now, this latest contract revision — merely a “proposal,” as it were — would eliminate the hospital entirely. The LHA’s $1.15 million in lease payments to the city, the nearly $1 million in payroll taxes, the $5 million in required capital improvements annually: The city would immediately lose a bevy of financial benefits. And the Clinic’s $7 million in annual charity would disappear too, replaced with a foundation outfitted with $32 million paid over eight years. The $32 million is a major carrot here. As the city reckons with the Clinic’s ideas, the $32-million end game has become attractive to many. It’s a blank slate. Instantly, battle lines were drawn. State senator Michael Skindell, a Lakewood resident, pulled petitions to run against Summers in the mayoral race this year. A lawsuit was filed, alleging breaches of contract and fiduciary duty. Legions of residents asked: Where did this come from? Why does the hospital need to

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

close? Don’t we have another decade to continue negotiating? Others responded: This is the best thing for the city. This is the future.

The details were heavy, but the news didn’t come as a shock to most people in Lakewood. Rumors about the demise of the hospital had circulated informally for years. Scene took its stab in 2013 at tracking down the details of dwindling services, only to be met time and time again by physicians or other stakeholders unwilling to talk. But Jim O’Bryan, the publisher of the Lakewood Observer and a long-ago classmate of Summers (Lakewood High School class of ’72), pushed the over-the-fence talk into the open. On Dec. 29, 2014, O’Bryan dumped the story online: “Clinic to Announce Changes to Lakewood Hospital in 1st Quarter.” His reporting bore out the following month with Summers’ announcement. O’Bryan tells Scene that the Clinic’s LOI was read over the phone to him in September 2014. The rumors had been true. Before publishing, though, he ran the discovery past city officials. “Nothing has been decided at this point,” Summers wrote to O’Bryan in a now-published email sent at the time. During the fall of 2014, City Hall routinely denied that a plan was in the

works to shutter the hospital, making January’s announcement all the more alarming to the public. The publisher of the Lakewood Observer structures his paper around the voices of the community. He’ll publish whatever anyone would like to submit, whether that be an opinion piece from City Council President Mary Louise Madigan or a coifed-up press release from one of Lakewood’s countless local community organizations. It is the archetypal town square in print form, and there are plenty of rumors that don’t come to fruition. City chatter became divisive very early though, as this particular one bore out the truth. Much of the early reaction was emotional — either from those who wanted the hospital to remain open or from those who were eager to take advantage of whatever opportunities came with a new wellness foundation and health center. But then there were those who pushed and prodded against the headlines, who sought and received public documents that painted a more deliberate path to the hospital’s doom. When the lawsuit (filed by former Lakewood City Councilman Ed Graham, Save Lakewood Hospital chairwoman Marguerite Harkness, William Grulich, Deborah Meckes and Amy Dilzell) dropped in May, the $400 million in damages sought by the

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

public became hard to ignore. The general story touted by the city is that “changes in health care” and “declining patient volumes” had forced the mayor’s hand. But as the opposition described to Scene, the Cleveland Clinic can pretty much dictate who goes where — i.e., which and how many Northeast Ohio patients take their health care business to which Clinic outpost. With services like pediatrics and trauma care being shipped elsewhere in the Clinic network from Lakewood Hospital, patient volumes began decreasing ipso facto. What patients were left were more often enrolled in Medicaid and Medicare, kicking Clinic profits down another notch. Very quickly, residents chipped away at claims that “changes in health care” were driving the losses. Puzzle pieces began locking into place. The data points that were being used to justify the hospital’s closure were direct consequences of the Clinic’s evolving policies over the past 10 years. The city would be entertaining a different conversation entirely if the move was about health care. But residents like O’Bryan and others who post frequently on the Observer’s online forum — “The Deck” — called the deal out on its one-sided financials and market consolidation. City council members and LHA supporters fired back, calling the Deck’s posters “nasty” and “mean-spirited.” But the citizen journalists of the Observer kept digging. What was in it for Lakewood? A wellness foundation with $32 million in cash? O’Bryan likes to reference Bridgegate, the scandal that roiled out of New Jersey governor Chris Christie’s office, the one where he, allegedly, created traffic jams in Fort Lee, N.J., as political retribution. “This is like if Chris Christie sold the bridge and gave the money to his best friend’s new nonprofit,” he says.

There’s the rhetorical process, which plays out at council meetings weekly and online every day. There’s the political process, which will play out within the mayoral race, two council races, and the charter amendment issue on Nov. 3. And there’s the legal process, which is bumbling along as a civil case in Cuyahoga County, a massive contract violation suit brought by taxpayers and leveled against the city, the LHA,

and the Clinic. “We think the lawsuit is going to be a long-term point,” Monahan says, adding that an election day victory of Skindell over Summers — or the passage of the charter amendment — would change the course of the Clinic’s actions entirely. Skindell has promised to do what he can to keep the hospital open and functioning. There’s been almost no movement in the mayoral campaigns and there are no scheduled debates, but there’s more at stake this time around than in elections past. As the city trips toward Nov. 3, the lawsuit plays like a droning bass line. The case was brought by five Lakewood residents who, in their words, “represent a large and growing group of City residents and Lakewood Hospital employees who are disgruntled by the lack of diligence by the City to enforce its rights against LHA, CCF, and LHF under the Lease and [Definitive Agreement].” “With the dawn of new plans to help Lakewood Hospital adapt to alleged changes in health care,” the legal complaint alleges, “a series of events contrary to the best interests of Lakewood Hospital occurred.” The argument set forth in the lawsuit — and by plenty of anecdotal evidence bandied about town — is that the declining patient volumes and revenues are a “‘created reality’ manufactured by CCF for the sole purpose of pursuing its self-serving strategic plan to support its wholly owned hospitals, including its new Avon Hospital and existing Fairview Hospital and Lutheran Hospital.” Health care consultants Subsidium, paid by the city and also named as a defendant in the suit, reported that the “[n]ew Avon hospital will likely cannibalize significant inpatient volumes from [Lakewood Hospital].” What the hospital administration blames on the market, the plaintiffs are calling a deliberate plan to skin back hospital services. (More than one person has referenced the “chicken and the egg” riddle in talking about this.) And while the discovery process is progressing slowly before Judge John O’Donnell, several illuminating records have surfaced among more than 7,000 documents subpoenaed to date, including the 2012 “decanting” plan, part of a Master Plan commissioned by the Clinic in 2011. The three-phase decanting plan outlines everything: Vacate the current hospital, open up the family health center, demolish what’s left. (According to the 2012 documents, the final demolition phase was anticipated to begin in August 2016, much like Summers’ eventual

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

Doc-A-Palooza Bands featuring Cleveland Clinic doctors, nurses and caregivers will converge upon House of Blues tonight at 7 in support of the Clinic’s Employee Hardship Fund. Dubbed Doc-A-Palooza, the event will feature Skin & Bones, a band that proclaims to be “Cleveland’s #1 State Licensed & Board Certified Party Band,” myManic Episode, a band that plays “party music” and Squish, playing covers songs by everyone from Elvis to U2. Tickets are $20 online at ccf.tix.com or at the box office the night of the

concert. (Niesel) 308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com. FOOD

Fall Harvest Dinner Now that it’s fall, food aficionados will want to start incorporating things like squash and corn into their meals. Amp 150’s Fall Harvest Dinner, which takes place today at 6:30 p.m., offers a menu that features some of fall’s real delicacies. The first course includes things like pickled blueberries and chorizo and corn cake. The second and third courses feature corn soup, burnt onions and potato perogies. Dessert features peach cobbler and a nut tart. Cost is $45. (Niesel) 4277 West 150th St. (inside the Airport Marriott), 216-706-8787, amp150.com. FILM

Little England The film Little England, winner of six Hellenic Film Academy Awards (Greece’s Oscars), succeeds not only in surpassing the “period piece” label but also in rising above the trope of two women in love with the same man. The film features expert acting and sepia-toned cinematography. It makes its Cleveland premiere tonight at 6:30 at the Cleveland Museum of Art and screens again on Sunday at 1:30 p.m. Tickets are $9. (Schwartz) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org. FILM

The Look of Silence Director Joshua Oppenheimer raised eyebrows with his 2012 documentary The Act of Killing, a film about the Indonesian killings of 1965–66 that Oppenheimer has called “a documentary of the imagination.” In last year’s companion piece, The Look of Silence, he focuses on an Indonesian optician who confronts the right-wing thugs responsible for the death of his older brother during the country’s anti-communist purge of the 1960s. It’s compelling stuff. The movie screens tonight at 7:15 at the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque. Tickets are $9. (Niesel) 11610 Euclid Ave., 216-421-7450, cia.edu. ART

Naturescapes Local artist Dott Von Schneider-Lanza continues her exquisite curating of local artists at Toast CLE with Naturescapes by local photographer and fellow curator Natalia Dale. Dale curates exhibitions at the Ohio City Masonic Arts Center (and previously, Doubting Thomas Gallery in Tremont). Dale’s photography is heavily

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 29

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influenced by the shoreline of Lake Erie. She was classically trained in the darkroom, but she now works almost exclusively digitally. Examining nature up close, Dale allows nature to “paint” itself through her lens. The work can be viewed during regular business hours: Monday through Thursday from 4:30 to 11 p.m., Friday from 4:30 p.m. to 1 a.m. and Saturdays from 1:30 to 11 p.m. It’s free. (Usmani) 1365 West 65th St., 216-862-8974, toastcleveland.com.

announced she’ll be representing an official roster of local and regional artists. To celebrate, she organized Hedge Represents, a group exhibition showcasing those talented artists. On the lower level, ARTneo (Suite 016) opens a new exhibition honoring legendary arts writer Dr. Henry Adams. Local painter Justin Brennan hosts a grand opening of his new studio next to Survival Kit, and the Chicago Plan performs in the gallery at 9 p.m. There’s plenty more too. Most Third Friday events take place from 5 to 9 p.m., although individual gallery hours may vary. It’s free. (Usmani) 1300 West 78th St., 78thstreetstudios.com.

THEATER

The Snow Queen A diverse group of 32 children and teens ages 9 to 15 make up the cast of the edgy pop/rock musical The Snow Queen, which makes its local premiere tonight at 7:30 at Near West Theatre. Based on the same Hans Christian Andersen story as the Disney flick Frozen, The Snow Queen stays truer to Andersen’s classic tale. It features an original pop-rock score too. According to the press release, it’s the “biggest, most complex children’s production to come to Near West to date.” Reserved Star Seat tickets are $20; general admission is $10 for adults and $8 for children 12 and under. The play runs through Sept. 27. (Niesel) 6702 Detroit Ave, 216-961-6391, nearwesttheatre.org.

SAT

09/19

FILM

American Psycho Based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel of the same name, the ultraviolent cult classic American Psycho starts Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman, a wealthy investment banker living in New York in the late 1980s. Overtly materialistic, Patrick listens to mainstream pop acts such as Huey Lewis and the News, Phil Collins and Whitney Houston and wears designer suits. He’s also a serial killer. The movie screens tonight at midnight at the Capitol Theatre. Tickets are $6. (Niesel) 1390 West 65th St., 216-651-7295, clevelandcinemas.com.

ART

Surroundings Cleveland Print Room begins its Fall 2015 schedule with Surroundings, a new exhibition showcasing work by local photographers David Bergholz, Deborah Pinter and Arnold Tunstall. All three photographers explore their surroundings — both natural and urban landscapes. Surroundings opens with a reception from 5 to 9 p.m. today. Cleveland Print Room will host a Gallery Talk with the artists tomorrow at 1 p.m. All three photographers will participate in the Gallery Talk. Surroundings remains on view through Oct. 24. It’s free. (Usmani) 2550 Superior Ave., 216-401-5981, clevelandprintroom.com. ART

Third Friday The 78th Street Studios host a number of opening receptions this evening during its monthly Third Friday open house. E11even 2 (Suite 112) debuts co-founder Christina Sadowski’s first solo exhibition, the Cleveland at Home Collection. Hedge Gallery (Suite 200) founder Hilary Gent recently

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

ART

The Chalk Festival Since 1990, the Cleveland Museum of Art’s Chalk Festival has been one of the most highly anticipated events of late summer. Large squares of sidewalk (approximately 3 feet by 4 feet) can be reserved for $16, including a 24-color box of chalk; small squares (approximately 2 feet by 3 feet) are $8, including a 12-color box of chalk. It all takes place today from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. and tomorrow from noon to 5 p.m. Rain or shine. (Usmani) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org. MUSIC

Cuyahoga River Concert Series Started in 2011, the Cuyahoga River Concert Series brings top quality professional performers from the folk and world music scene to the greater Kent area at an affordable price. The concerts take place at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Kent, a venue with terrific acoustics. Tonight, Hal Walker and Matt Watroba, two veteran singer-songwriters, share the bill. The concert starts at 8 p.m. and tickets are

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 31

GET OUT $15. (Niesel) 228 Gougler Ave., Kent, facebook. com/pages/Cuyahoga-RiverConcerts/270446576301561. MUSIC

Dance Your Parts Off After celebrating its 1-year anniversary earlier this summer, Upcycle Parts Shop is still in the partying mood. To showcase the Superior-St. Clair business’ social impact, stakeholders are hosting a dance party tonight. As the organizers explain: “Dance Your Parts Off will be a super fun party to celebrate our successes, share the magic of upcycling, connect people to our work and dance our parts off!” The event will be held at the Slovenian National Home, right next door to the store. Tickets cost $25, and include appetizers. A cash bar will be open throughout the party. Do come ready to dance, of course; a live band will provide the evening’s music. There will be plenty of opportunities to dabble in some crafting and create artwork both beautiful and practical. The party runs from 7 to 11 p.m. (Eric Sandy) 6417 St. Clair Ave., 216-361-9933, upcyclepartsshop.org.

in the Gund Dance Studio and a meet-and--greet with Morgan after the show. (Schwartz) 1501 Euclid Ave., 216-664-6050, playhousesquare.org. RODEO

PBR Velocity Tour For the folks who live out West, rodeos are a dime a dozen. But

ART

Sparx City Hop More than 115 artists, galleries, retailers and restaurants are participating in this year’s Sparx City Hop, an event that is all about Cleveland culture, history and community. Festivities begin at 11 a.m. under the G.E. Chandelier in Playhouse Square at the Sparx Main

DANCE

An Evening with Kathryn Morgan Join Ballet in the City tonight for an evening with solo ballerina Kathryn Morgan. Morgan’s performance takes place at Westfield Insurance Studio Theatre at 7:30 and feature excerpts from Swan Lake and Don Quixote as well as the world premiere of The Red Shoes, a piece that was choreographed exclusively for Morgan’s return to the stage after a 2010 illness. Tickets are $25, but the $100 VIP ticket includes access to pre- and post-show catered receptions

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Eden French director Mia Hansen-Løve (Father of My Children and Goodbye First Love) is at the helm of Eden, a film about a pioneering teen DJ (modeled after the director’s brother, who wrote the script) who works the 1990s club and rave scene in France. The cast includes Greta Gerwig, Golshifteh Farahani and Brady Corbet. The film makes its Cleveland premiere tonight at 9:20 at the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinemathque. It screens again at 8:35 p.m. on Sunday. Tickets are $9. (Niesel) 11610 Euclid Ave., 216-421-7450, cia.edu.

a banging good time. Check out the video by Downtown Cleveland Alliance for a glimpse at the event in real time. The free fun continues until 6 p.m. (Schwartz) downtowncleveland.com/sparx.aspx.

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for us living in Northeast Ohio, the chance to see a real rodeo should be cherished. That’s why we recommend heading to the Q tonight for the PBR Velocity Tour. Riders from as far away as Brazil and Australia compete in this bull riding competition. The event begins at 7 p.m. and tickets start at $16. (Niesel) 1 Center Ct., 216-420-2000, theqarena.com

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

Hub, where you can hop on one of three trolley routes with guided tours of neighborhoods. The Hub will also offer tours of Cleveland’s historic theaters and an information booth for the most touristy of attendees. Each stop will feature live music and dance and easy access to participating shops, galleries, restaurants and cultural institutions, so whichever trolley you choose, you are bound to have

Comfort and Joy Right after delivering indie hits such as Gregory’s Girl and Local Hero, Scottish writer and director Bill Forsyth made 1984’s Comfort and Joy, a film that’s been described as “a quirky comedy-drama.” It centers on a Glasgow radio host (Bill Paterson) who becomes involved in an ice cream war between two rival Italian families that operate ice cream trucks in the city. The film was never released on DVD in the U.S.; tonight at 6:30, the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque will screen a rare 35mm print. Tickets are $9, and the first 80 patrons receive a certificate from Mitchell’s Ice Cream for a free scoop. (Niesel) 11610 Euclid Ave., 216-421-7450, cia.edu. FESTIVAL

Paw Fest Dogs, puppies, countrymen, lend me your ears! The ninth annual Paw Fest is set for today at Stow’s Bow Wow Beach Dog Park. The free event runs from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., and dogs of all sizes are welcome. As the late-summer temperatures begin to slide, this is a great opportunity for your pups to mingle with others. Contests include: best dog costume in a parade, owner/ dog look-alike, best dog trick and longest and shortest tails. Parking is $1 or free with a donation of used eyeglasses; its one of the many eye care projects the Stow-Munroe Falls Lions Club maintains throughout the year. (Sandy) 5027 Stow Rd., Stow, smflions.com. SPORTS

Browns vs. Titans Vegas odds for the Browns to win a Super Bowl are something like 125 to 1. Those aren’t good odds. They’re actually really bad. Today’s opponent, the Tennessee Titans, face similar odds, making this, the Browns home opener, a good opportunity for the team to pick up a win. Expect the Browns defense to be solid while the offense sputters behind a guy who isn’t starting quarterback material. The game is sold out but ticket brokers will have seats for sale. The game starts at 1 p.m. at FirstEnergy Stadium. (Niesel) 100 Alfred Lerner Way, 440-891-5000, clevelandbrowns.com.

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GET OUT

noon to 4. (Niesel) 13200 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216521-3280, mahalls20lanes.com.

FILM

The Wanted 18 Cleveland Peace Action Education Fund, the Interfaith Council for Peace in the Middle East and the Interfaith Peace Builders-Ohio are the co-sponsors of today’s screening of The Wanted 18, a film about how 18 cows owned by Palestinians during the First Intifada become “a threat to the national security of the state of Israel.” Funny and whimsical, the movie mixes claymation and documentary details to tell the story of how the Israeli army went hunting for the missing herd of dairy cows. It screens at 4 p.m. today at the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque. Tickets are $9. (Niesel) 11610 Euclid Ave., 216-421-7450, cia.edu.

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09/21

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Ohio Civil War Governors

SepTemBer 21st | 7:00pm

hio’s Civil War governors were William Dennison, David Tod and John Brough. The first was a Whig-turned-Republican, while the other two were War Democrats. Each did relatively well in office, strongly supporting the Lincoln Administration’s military policies and guiding Ohio through its greatest crisis. In time, however, all three lost political support and were denied reelection, each worn down by the itnense demands of civilian wartime leadership of the Buckeye State. Speaker William F.B. Vodrey is a magistrate of Cleveland Municipal Court and a former president of the Cleveland Civil War Roundtable. Join us for this new lecture series on Sept. 21st and enjoy a Cash Bar and Social Hour catered by Gatherings Kitchen!

Dinner Catered by Gatherings Kitchen. Dinner is $22 (make a reservation by 9/17 and save!) (216) 621-5938 or grays1837@yahoo.com

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

Free Zoo Admission Day for Locals Looking for a fun and free way to start your week? Head on over to the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo, which offers free admission for all residents of Cuyahoga County and Hinckley Township on Mondays. You can explore the zoo’s massive collection, which includes more than 3,000 animals and 600 distinct species, including the largest primate collection in the country. Or check out the botanical garden, which has been praised for expertly illustrating the interdependent relationship between plants, animals and humans. The Cleveland Metroparks Zoo is open on Mondays from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. This promotion is not available on holidays and excludes access to the RainForest. (Nutile) 3900 Wildlife Way, 216-661-6500, clemetzoo.com. FOOD

Industry Brunch Brunch isn’t just a Saturday/Sunday thing. Over at Mahall’s, you can grab a great brunch on Mondays as the club caters to industry folks who have the day off. Not that you have to work in the restaurant industry to indulge. The menu features items such as Chicken and Donuts, a dish that features three pieces of fried chicken along with two “Old Hushers donuts.” Other staples include the Everything Pretzel and the Creamy Egg Sandwich. A live DJ from WCSB will be on hand to spin cool tunes too. It runs from

TUE

09/22

MUSIC

Heritage Concert Series The Heritage concert series brings nationally known folk and roots acts to town to play intimate concerts at the Happy Days Lodge in Peninsula. For those looking to get a bite before the show, a pre-show dinner will include Chef Larkin Rogers’ gumbo and local craft beer. All seating for the dinner is assigned by table so reservations are required. Dinner starts at 6. If you’re just interested in hearing some music, doors open at 7 and the concert begins at 8 p.m. Check out the website for other upcoming concerts in the series. (Niesel) 500 West Streetsboro Rd., Peninsula, 330-657-2909, ConservancyforCVNP.org. NIGHTLIFE

Trivia Tuesdays How do you spend your Tuesday nights? If you’re not at Nano Brew in Ohio City, you’re definitely missing out. This friendly neighborhood brewpub hosts weekly trivia nights from 8 to 10 p.m. Grab some friends and head on down for a little brainstimulating trivia, craft beer and seriously stellar bar grub. Better yet, bike on over. The folks at Nano Brew love bikes almost as much as beer, and they’re happy to share that love by giving you half off your first drink when they see your bike helmet. (Nutile) 1859 West 25th St., 216-862-6631, nanobrewcleveland.com. MUSIC

Vinyl Night Jukebox owner Alex Budin has described his music-focused bar in Hingetown as “a place where people can expect to hear and learn about music of multiple genres, all of which is concentrated in a constantly evolving jukebox.” In keeping with that spirit and recognizing the burgeoning popularity of vinyl, the club hosts a vinyl night every Tuesday You can bring your own vinyl and spin it too. We love the concept. It all starts at 7 p.m. (Niesel) 1404 West 29th St., 216-206-7699, jukeboxcle.com.

Find more events @clevescene.com t@cleveland_scene

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www.alextheatercleveland.com magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 35

Photo courtesy of the artist.

ART RENEWAL

2731 Prospect opens with two exhibitions By Josh Usmani LAST MONTH, WE INTERVIEWED new gallery owner Lauren Davies just days after she received the keys to William Busta’s former gallery space. After months of anticipation since the change was announced, the gallery (now known by its address as 2731 Prospect) prepares to open its doors once again — for the very first time. The first exhibitions at 2731 Prospect include local painter Michelangelo Lovelace Sr.’s Good People with Bad Habits and Brick and Bones by Cleveland native Donald Mengay and New Yorkbased Croatian photographer Hrvoje Slovenc. Although the exhibitions are independent, they collectively examine and comment on Cleveland’s ongoing transformation. Lovelace has had a busy year. Earlier in 2015, he was awarded the Mid-Career Visual Artist Cleveland Arts Prize. He also previously received two Ohio Arts Council grants, a Community Partnership for Arts and Culture (CPAC) grant and a Creative Workforce Fellowship. Additionally, a number of his paintings were included in MOCA Cleveland’s exhibition, How to Remain Human, this summer. His work has been exhibited in New York, Chicago, Baltimore and throughout Northeast Ohio. Lovelace’s paintings reside in many prominent local collections, including the Progressive Corporation, Cleveland Clinic and Artists Archives of the Western Reserve. Lovelace’s paintings depict the daily struggles of inner-city life, with emphasis on Cleveland’s African American community. “The artwork that I will be exhibiting is from my new body of work titled Good People with Bad Habits,” Lovelace explains. “With this new series of paintings I take an up-close look at the people in my life and at myself. I am looking at the day-to-day events that surround me. Many of the people in my life are good people with some bad habits. We all have people we love and who love us who have bad habits. Whether it is smoking, drinking, drugs, sex, etc.”

Reflecting on the opportunity to be one of the first artists to exhibit in the new gallery, Lovelace continues, “To have this opportunity to be one of the first artists to exhibit at the new gallery is a joy. I have always wanted to exhibit at Mr. Busta’s gallery but that did not happen. Now that Lauren has taken over the gallery, I get to still show there. With Mr. Busta retiring, there is a void in the art scene here in Cleveland. I am excited to be one of the first artists she is showing and look forward to the opening, and to the artist talk on Oct. 10. The Cleveland art scene has grown into a national example of a place to grow and exhibit artists from all walks of life. For me, Cleveland is home and I love being a Cleveland artist.” Brick and Bones is the first exhibition in Cleveland by collaborative duo Donald Mengay and Hrvoje Slovenc. Brick and Bones explores Cleveland’s evolving urban landscape through the city’s transformation from the end of the nineteenth century industrialism through the beginning of our current period of renewal and renovation. The project features imagery of Cleveland’s (seemingly) uninhabited landscapes. However, an optimist will see the potential in these places that has helped ignite Cleveland’s

Michelangelo Lovelace Sr., “Good People with Bad Habits,” 2015.

and galleries in the U.S. and abroad, it is an honor to show the works about Cleveland in the city itself,” the duo says. “The legacy of the gallery at 2731 Prospect is enormous, and after talking to Lauren earlier this year, we all concluded that this would be the best place for us to show the work. 2731 Prospect is expanding the scene by showing artists from outside of Cleveland and by including photography in her curatorial repertoire, which we find especially gratifying. It is interesting

GOOD PEOPLE WITH BAD HABITS AND BRICK AND BONES 2731 PROSPECT AVE., 888-273-1881 2731PROSPECT.COM

rejuvenation. The photographs do not include any people. One could image that as people are added (such as the viewer), the renewal begins. To a longtime Clevelander, an empty factory could be easily reimagined as a downtown artist studio, the side of an unused building could be repurposed with a mural by a local artist or maybe the vacant storefront could house a pop-up holiday market. The exhibition’s title refers to the old real estate saying, “It’s got good bones.” The collaborators see Cleveland as a place with good bones. “After showing in many museums

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

to be paired in a separate yet parallel exhibition to Michelangelo Lovelace and his paintings about life in Cleveland. That connection provides an especially layered language about the city, one that is clearly on the rise.” They continue, “With the opening of MOCA Cleveland and the Transformer Station, it’s apparent that the art scene is not just bubbling up in Cleveland but moving on the cutting edge. These developments mirror the most recent trends in the art world that operate as a decentering of the arts community

away from the more affluent cultural hubs like New York, Los Angeles and Chicago. ... We find it exciting to play a role in these developments.” All of the photographs in Brick and Bones were taken using a large format camera and color positive 4-by-5-inch film. The film was digitally scanned and the images were printed using a large scale printer and archival pigmented inks. Each photograph measures 43.5 inches by 54 inches. Due to the extremely high resolution of the large format film, these photographs are hyper realistic, depicting virtually every detail. 2731 Prospect opens with a reception from 6 to 9 p.m. this Friday. On Oct. 10 the gallery will host a 2 p.m. panel discussion with all three artists. Jennifer Coleman, senior officer of the arts for the George Gund Foundation, will moderate. The exhibitions remain on view through Oct. 24. The gallery is open Wednesdays through Saturdays from 11:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. and by appointment. The gallery and all events are free.

jusmani@clevescene.com t@cleveland_scene

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 37

STAGE

Photo by Roger Mastroianni

Bobby Conte Thornton (Carlo), Ron Orbach (Saunders), Bradley Dean (Tito), and Rob McClure (Max)

HUZZAH TO THE CLEVELAND PLAY HOUSE! Their 100th year starts this season By Christine Howey IT’S PROBABLY SAFE TO SAY that no one alive now can remember when the Cleveland Play House began producing shows, since that happened exactly 100 years ago. In some places around the world, a century isn’t that long a time, historically speaking. But to keep an arts organization alive that long here in the United States, the land of disposable culture, is an accomplishment of enormous proportions. So now, as we begin the 2015-16 season of the performing arts here in Cleveland, it is time to doff our collective chapeaus to our treasure, the Cleveland Play House, as well as to the Cleveland Orchestra and Karamu House, all of which are at or close to their first three-digit anniversaries. And let’s include a round of applause for the citizens and corporations (no, not the same thing) of Cleveland and Northeast Ohio, who have gobbled up enough tickets and provided financial support in other ways to keep these vibrant institutions alive and, for the most part, thriving. On a personal note, my memories of the Cleveland Play House extend back to the 1960s, when my brother William was a member of their company for two years. At that time, I attended many shows and was dazzled by the talents of actors such as Richard Halverson, Evie McElroy, Bob Moak and Dorothy Paxton — under the artistic direction of luminaries such as K. Elmo Lowe and

Richard Oberlin. This is such a glorious time for CPH that one is tempted to look through rose-colored glasses at the productions they will be mounting this season. After all, nobody wants to butt-plant on somebody else’s birthday cake. That said, the opening play of this double-gold anniversary season at the Cleveland Play House is a thoroughly professional yet almost entirely vapid endeavor. It’s dubbed Ken Ludwig’s A Comedy of Tenors, and the title alone signals a problem. When the name of the playwright is appended to a title, a world premiere no less, it indicates that the playwright views himself as a franchise. And indeed he is,

including Tito (Bradley Dean) whose nickname is “Il Stupendo,” are facing a huge concert. Almost immediately, the script piles multiple mistaken identities on a withering barrage of junior high sex jokes, fairly obvious double entendres and one over-used prop gag. Eventually, the mind reels. Sure, it’s meant to be a sex farce, but sex without wit or invention is about as engrossing as a quickie hand-job in an elevator. Sure, there are plenty of laughs, because we’re human beings and sex jokes — even old or clumsy ones — titillate. And sure, mistaken identities are fun. But this is all very easy and safe territory for a playwright, especially when you’re injecting familiar punch lines

KEN LUDWIG’S A COMEDY OF TENORS

THROUGH OCT. 3 AT THE CLEVELAND PLAY HOUSE 1407 EUCLID AVE., 216-241-6000 CLEVELANDPLAYHOUSE.COM

with many of his plays running continually at regional and community theaters around the country. But very often, franchises gain their power by repeatedly cranking out similar, middlingquality stuff that customers happily wolf down. Such is the case with this show, which is a not very inventive rehashing of the characters from Ludwig’s popular Lend Me a Tenor, which has been around for more than 20 years. Set in another luxe hotel, this time in Paris (not in Cleveland, as the former play was), the three tenors,

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

into a plot displaying all the subtlety of an I Love Lucy episode. On the plus side, Ludwig’s unchallenging farce is staged with complete professionalism by CPH on Charlie Corcoran’s handsome set, replete with many doors that slam with convincing solidity. And the cast, under the precisely honed direction of Stephen Wadsworth, delivers the lines with spot-on timing. There are a couple genuine laugh-out-loud moments, such as when Kristen Martin as Mimi does a fine pratfall over a balcony railing and when she and her lover Carlo (Bobby Conte

Thornton) are revealed under a sheet early in the play. True to the Tenor franchise, there is some passably good operatic singing from the trio of Thornton, Dean and Rob McClure, who plays the nebbishy son-in-law of the impresario Henry Saunders (Ron Orbach). In the central role of Tito, Dean never quite captures the largerthan-life egomaniacal core of his character. And when he does double duty as the bellhop Beppo who is (OMG!) a dead ringer for Tito, Dean doesn’t create a distinct enough character, dampening the comical chemistry. Also, we don’t often feel the rampant sexual urge that’s driving Beppo as he pursues both Tito’s wife Maria (a spirited Antoinette LaVecchia) and the Russian soprano Tatiana (Lisa Brescia). Where’s Groucho Marx when you need him? Let’s face it, when you have to rely on a semi-disgusting deli item for many of your laughs — a hunk of tongue is repeatedly manipulated both manually (don’t ask) and verbally (“Hey baby, want some tongue?”) — you have an issue. There’s a reason most of us find a tongue sandwich hard to order, and why formula comedies such as Ken Ludwig’s A Comedy of Tenors are hard to swallow.

scene@clevescene.com t@christinehowey

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 39

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

CLEVELAND SCENE

MOVIES

in theaters

TRIAL BY SEQUEL

Maze Runner strikes back with solid second installment By Sam Allard ENOUGH ALREADY WITH ALL this dystopian garbage, right? With the gorgeous twentysomethings playing teenagers; with the socially regimented peril; with the coordinated Urban Oufitters ensembles harvested from rebel outposts; with the cookie-cutter trilogy structures; with the lazy melding of genres … because you know what makes a sci-fi adventure even more marketable these days? Zombies. If, like me, you’re no longer entertained by or even interested in any of the above, Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials has seven or eight strikes against it at the outset. The film opens Friday at theaters everywhere and will no doubt be understood as a lowcaloric snack between the star-laden Insurgent (3/20/15) and the hotly anticipated Hunger Games finale, Mockingjay Part II (11/20/15). And the first 30 or 40 minutes of the movie bear out these sentiments: They’re as bad as any entry in the YA-dystopianadaptation subgenre. The dialogue is relentlessly and unnaturally expository. Unlike, for example, the heart-stopping Mad Max, The

Scorch Trials’ world-building developments seem to have been plucked at random from an online catalog, with zero obligation to justify things like outfits or advanced technology. You can neither make sense of the story, its central characters and conflicts, or what any of it has to do with running in mazes (what I always gathered as the series’ hook). The youngsters, led by a brawny Captain Kirk-type named Thomas (Dylan O’Brien), are quarantined in a huge fortress in a desert after they’ve conquered the maze of the first film. They are told by a manager dude (Game of Thrones’ Aiden Gillen) that in due time they will be whisked away to paradise. But Thomas, along with anyone who’s read either The Maze Runner or The Golden Compass, sees through that crock of shit. Through some sleuthing, he discovers that the fortress is actually a medical facility, run by the sciencey corporate overlords of W.I.C.K.E.D. — see if you can guess if they’re good guys or bad guys — and that young people’s essential brain fluids are being drained and preserved to combat the terrible

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials

“Flare,” which has turned huge portions of the world’s population to zombies. Thus informed, Thomas engineers a ballsy escape for his requisite love interest (Kaya Scodelario) and his buddies. They must then fend for themselves in the surrounding “Scorch,” the desert and urban ruins infested with the undead. Much, if not most, of the script is composed of the word “Go,” as in, “Go go go go!” when our heroes are sprinting from armed guards; or later, “Go go GO!” when dashing from zombies through a deserted mall; or, better still, “Go go go go go GO GO!” when they are running from an approaching storm. All that running, which leads to Thomas’ pivotal line (an earned cliche!), “I’m tired of running,” must have sufficiently pumped up the young performers in the film. At some point around its halfway mark, you realize that you’re rooting for them, that you’re on their side, that dammit, they’re giving it 110 percent up there and

they deserve our cheers. Plus, the stakes have never been higher. A bizarrely satisfying romance emerges, and pretty soon you’re on board with everything; not least of which is the army of peripheral steampunks (Breaking Bad’s Giancarlo Esposito, Alan Tudyk, Lily Taylor, Barry Pepper) and the occasionally breathtaking action sequences.

ALSO OPENING

Black Mass Based on the 2001 book Black Mass: The True Story of an Unholy Alliance Between the FBI and the Irish Mob, this biopic film stars Johnny Depp as Irish-American mobster Whitey Bulger. It opens area-wide on Friday.

SPOTLIGHT: GRANDMA DIVIDED INTO A SERIES OF book-like chapters, Grandma, a dark comedy that opens on Friday at the Cedar Lee Theatre, commences with an “ending.” Ellie (comedian Lily Tomlin in her first leading role since 1988’s Big Business) is in the process of breaking up with Olivia (Judy Greer) her much-younger girlfriend. It’s not going well. Clearly upset, Olivia asks Ellie to just tell her that she loves her. Ellie can’t do it. She responds by telling Olivia that she was merely “a footnote.” Ouch! It’s an ugly scene that sets the tone for the film, a stark portrayal of a mean-spirited woman who has to come to terms with herself. Though not as over-the-top, think of Lily Tomlin’s character as the female

counterpoint to Johnny Knoxville’s Bad Grandpa. The turning point for Ellie comes when her granddaughter Sage (Julia Garner) shows up on her front doorstep. She’s pregnant and doesn’t have the cash for an abortion, so she hopes Ellie can help her out. Ellie doesn’t have the money either, and the two embark on a wild ride around town as they try scrounge up a few hundred bucks. Along the way, Ellie pisses off just about everyone they meet. She gets tossed out of a coffee shop for disturbing the customers and infuriates an old flame (Sam Elliott) who says their past prevents him from helping her. Eventually, it becomes apparent they need to see Sage’s

domineering mother (Marcia Gay Harden), an overachiever who works from a treadmill desk so she can multi-task. Because Sage fears her mother and because Ellie doesn’t speak to the woman, it’s not an easy decision to make, but both Sage and Ellie know that they need to confront their fears in order to grow and change. Tomlin gives a good performance as Ellie, but the character is often so mean-spirited and off-putting, it’s hard to sympathize with her — even when she predictably softens at the film’s end. But writer-director Paul Weitz deserves credit for putting the emphasis on story and character in this low-budget festival favorite. — Jeff Niesel

Captive A true story about Brian Nichols (David Oyelowo), a man who escapes from the Fulton County courthouse in Atlanta in 2005 and holds a woman (Kate Mara) hostage, this drama opens area-wide on Friday.

Everest Jason Clarke, Josh Brolin, John Hawkes, Robin Wright, Michael Kelly, Sam Worthington, Keira Knightley, Emily Watson and Jake Gyllenhaal star in this movie based on the 1996 Mount Everest disaster. It opens at Cinemark Valley View and Regal Crocker Park on Friday.

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 41

TITANS vs BROWNS

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

EAT

review

JOIN THE CLUB

In a landscape of overpriced and sterile steakhouses, Cabin Club is a charming classic that doesn’t need to change By Douglas Trattner Photos by Emanuel Wallace

I’M NOT EXACTLY SURE WHEN steakhouses began taking themselves so seriously, where million-dollar build-outs and earnest but stiff waiters manage to get in the way of a great time. Going out for a killer steak with your mates should be a festive event, but good luck having fun when you can’t afford a second round of cocktails. Cabin Club is the anti-steakhouse, a woodsy log cabin with a celebratory roadhouse vibe. Step inside the diminutive but lofty restaurant and the world outside melts away, replaced by cheerful service, stiff drinks and some of the best steaks and chops in town. It’s precisely the kind of place where three hours slips by in a snap, leaving guests chubby, tipsy and decidedly less poor than had they made reservations at any number of contemporary steakhouses. Perhaps that’s why Cabin Club has managed to survive for a quarter century in a brutally fickle dining scene. When the Westlake restaurant opened its doors in the early ’90s, replacing the 35-year-old saloon that existed before it in that retro shell, it was surrounded by farmland. Now the little log cabin looks like a relic from another era, swallowed alive by suburban sprawl that has produced more restaurants in the past five years alone than in the previous 30. Coincidentally, one of those new restaurants is the Rosewood Grill, which is set to open its third location just around the corner from Cabin Club. That means Hospitality Restaurants will have both its oldest and newest properties in Westlake, adding to a restaurant group that also includes Blue Point, Delmonico’s and Salmon Dave’s. Little has changed since those early days, including much of the staff and the bill of fare. The menu remains refreshingly old school, with quality of product and consistency of execution trumping innovation and pretention. Order the shrimp cocktail and you net perfectly plump poached shrimp ($13) that are peeled, deveined, meaty and sweet. Order the Wedge ($7) and make way for a Titanic sized quadrant of cold, crisp iceberg drippy with Thousand Island

and showered with smoky bacon. You want fun? Spend some time with Cabin Club’s exceptional lobster bisque ($8), a lavish arrangement of lobster stock, cream and decades of practice. How’s this for old-school: entrees here still come with one’s choice of soup or salad. Before ordering, our server ticked off the night’s specials, automatically following each description with the price. I found the practice pleasantly surprising given that none of our local big-name steakhouses even dare to

display menu prices on their websites (go check). Cabin Club does, which led me to ask why. “If you feel like telling the customer the price is going to prevent them from ordering it, you probably shouldn’t be selling it at that price,” explains Christopher Oppewall, managing partner. Not only has the Steak

Angus Beef and Certified Angus Beef Prime, depending on the cut. What I love about Cabin Club is that it doesn’t force diners to spend more money than they’d like. There’s a perfectly wonderful 10-ounce sirloin for $22 alongside a massive bonein ribeye for $48. Tony, the grill master, seems to have a sixth sense

CABIN CLUB 30651 DETROIT RD., WESTLAKE, 440-899-7111 THECABINCLUB.COM

Christopher ($31) been a staple since opening day, it is cooked on the very same beast of a broiler. It’s a classic dish comprising twin filets topped with sauteed shrimp, asparagus and a soupçon of bearnaise. In recent years, all of the beef was upgraded from USDA Choice to Certified

when it comes to nailing temps. That “cowboy” ribeye was charred to blistering on the exterior yet solid pink from top to bottom when sliced. It’s the kind of steak that you dream about long after you’ve gone, especially during the drive home when you remember leaving the

leftovers under the table. A meaty pork chop ($25) gets the same expert attention at the grill before being doused with a bourbon glaze and plated with black beans and rice. There are plenty of non-chop options on the menu, like pan-seared salmon, steamed King crab legs, twin lobster tails and even baby back ribs. Those are fine for those who get to Cabin Club frequently, but for those who don’t, only steak will do. When it comes to the wine list, diners are afforded the same gracious latitude as with the solid fare. The sizeable list has everything from a $26 bottle of Malbec on up to $300 Napa cab and plenty in between. Glasses can be had for as low as $6.50 and $7, for heaven’s sake, and boozy cocktails like an Old Fashioned, Manhattan or Dark and Stormy all are $10 or less. One of the best spots to enjoy those cocktails is at the bar, which runs the length of the room. There, regulars fresh off the golf course will enjoy a few rounds, debate ordering some food, and realize much too late that they too have just misplaced three hours in the dim and cozy confines of a Cleveland classic.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 43

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National conference in Northeast Ohio calls chefs to action and activism By Nikki Delamotte

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THE HARVEST SALAD (FOR THE FALL)

Field Greens with Dried Figs, Toasted Pumpkin Seeds, Boursin Cheese, Nueske's Smoked Applewood Bacon tossed with our own Apple Cider Honey Vinaigrette

EAT

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS, THE annual Roots Conference (chefsgarden.com/rootsconference) has drawn national audiences to Ohio to examine and challenge the role chefs play in the food system. On Sept. 21 and 22, chefs, farmers, writers, scientists and food enthusiasts will again gather at the Culinary Vegetable Institute in Milan, Ohio, a non-profit arm of the Huron-based Chef’s Garden, as speakers tackle global issues on this year’s theme: “Taking Action.” Topics will range from ethical labor and honoring Native American culture to how seaweed could change the dining landscape. Keith Martin, founder of Elysian Fields Sheep Farm, will deliver the keynote speech and Dr. John Sanzo of the popular website Docsconz will serve as emcee. This time around, founders Farmer Lee Jones of Chef’s Garden and journalist and author Jody Eddy want to arm attendees with a weekend of tools and knowledge to keep the momentum going long past the usual post-conference buzz. “We are all a part of the food world whether we are a home cook or a professional chef,” says Eddy. “I believe that more chefs today realize that they can make a profound and positive impact on the tremendous issues that we face by the choices they make and the work they choose to undertake.” It’s more than just lip service. Roots plans to actually set all that talk into motion. On Monday, Jordan Figueiredo, who founded the viral Ugly Food and Vegetable campaign highlighting the fact that 20 to 40 percent of all food is disposed due to grocer cosmetic standards, will lead a discussion on finding solutions for the global food waste crisis. That night’s dinner focus will be “Perfection in Imperfection” and center on creating meals from overlooked ingredients. “Every single thing we do will revolve around a purpose,” explains Farmer Jones. “The food that we eat, the water we drink. It’s all about the message.” On both mornings, that message

Farmer Lee Jones

starts with the fundamentals. A panel entitled “It Begins at Home” finds Gavin Kaysen of Minnesota’s Spoon and Stable and Seamus Mullen of New York City’s Tertulia detailing the positive changes they’ve made in their personal lives and the influence it had on them as chefs. Tuesday starts by delving into the idea of chef as activist. Now more than ever, says Farmer Jones, chefs feel they have a responsibility and an opportunity to make a difference. In light of the uptick of interest in fermentation, Kevin Farley of California’s Cultured Pickle Shop and Edward Lee of Kentucky’s 610 Magnolia infuse plenty of culture into their talk on the constant “action” that takes place during fermentation’s transforming process. But as a conference uniting attendees in a region surrounded by the Great Lakes, it’s the closing panel that may resonate the most. Buey Ray Tut, a native of South Sudan, will speak on the sustainability efforts of the project he co-founded, Aqua Africa. Since its inception in 2011, the organization has drilled nine wells in Tut’s home town and brought water to thousands of people. “He’s saving lives on the frontline,” says Eddy. “I can think of no better way to take action than that.”

scene@clevescene.com t@cleveland_scene

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The Blue Breeze Sports Bar & Grill under the ownership of Derek Wheeler and Abe Tayeh has finally opened it’s doors to the community. Both Wheeler and Tayeh has a strong history in real estate and construction. With both gentlemen owning rental properties in this area, it gave them an idea to give this community a new beginning. While both men had a vision to bring a family oriented business to the area, Mr. Wheeler himself, grew up in the community and is a graduate of Collinwood High School, so both owners are passionate about this creation in their own rights.

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Wheeler and Tayeh thought long and hard on how to bring life back to a community that once thrived. While brainstorming, they decided that this community was lacking fine dining with a sports atmosphere. A place where families can enjoy one another and sports fans can eat while watching all their favorite sporting events. After being in construction for nearly one and a half years the Blue Breeze was born. During it’s first couple of weeks of opening, Wheeler and Tayeh researched the neighborhood even more and still thinking of ways to improve the business. It dawned on them there was a lack of places in the community where people could go for a good hot breakfast, especially with the closing of McDonald’s. Thus a full breakfast menu was created along with lunch and dinner. The Blue Breeze is fun for the entire family as it offers electronic bowling and basketball games, pool tables, 130 inch projection screen along with over 14 flat screen t.v.’s for the viewing pleasure of all the neighborhood sports fans, breakfast bar, Sunday brunches, side and front patios fenced in for a pleasurable outdoor dining experience, bar area constructed with granite counter tops and has seating for over 25 patrons. The Blue Breeze offers full dining in the bar area, a choice of 6

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draft beers, and discounted meals during home team game times. They also offer dine-in, carry out, and delivery (with orders of $15 and above), and a trivia night which is soon to come. The Blue Breeze also books reservations for gatherings of up to 100 people. While this is still a growing establishment, they are still seeking qualified bartenders, servers, and cooks. For a well rounded and enjoyable atmosphere, or to inquire about a position, please call or visit the Blue Breeze Sports Bar & Grill at 216273-7100 or 16826 Lakeshore Boulevard, Cleveland, OH 44110.

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 45

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

FOR 80 YEARS, THE MAYFIELD Cafe served as a private and public watering hole for Little Italy residents. That legendary slice of life closed five years back, when it became a barber college. The building once again will welcome guests when it reopens in a few months as the Tavern of Little Italy (12117 Mayfield Rd.). For the past six months, the 100-plus year old structure has been getting a complete makeover. The old aluminum siding has been stripped, revealing the original clapboard siding. New windows up and down, including a fold-away glass façade, will open up the building to the neighborhood. A pair of garage doors has been installed on the side of the building, turning the slender alleyway into a secluded side patio. Inside, partner Eric Kennedy shows off the poured concrete bartop, the rustic wood wall coverings and the original tin ceiling. Behind the bar, 14 tap handles will serve up a variety of local craft beers. When all is said and done, the TOLI will accommodate approximately 80 guests on two levels, not counting the side and back patios. What the Tavern of Little Italy will not be is another Italian restaurant, stresses Kennedy. “I think it’s always a good time for something new and different as long as you do something good,” explains Kennedy, who is partnering on the project with longtime Little Italy resident Dominic Gogol. “This will be a neighborhood gastropub that will invite a wider Cleveland to experience Little Italy.” The tavern will provide locals and visitors alike with a casual pub-like environment in which to watch sports, enjoy a craft beer and order some affordable food, a rarity in the neighborhood. To go with those draft beers and large-screen TVs, the menu will offer straightforward but wellmade salads, burgers, flatbreads and larger plates. Look for the Tavern of Little Italy to open in November.

RESTORE COLD PRESSED ANNOUNCES JUICE SHOPS #2 AND #3 Partners Adam Wright and Christie Pritt opened Restore Cold

Pressed (1001 Huron Rd., 330-8063893) less than six months ago, but already they are in the process of opening shops Nos. 2 and 3. The sleek and contemporary original, which opened in late May in the American Institute of Architects building in Playhouse Square, will serve as the model for additional units in Hudson and Canton, says Wright. “Same look, same feel, same menu,” he says. One will be located in the First and Main development in downtown Hudson, while the second will be located in the Nobles Pond development in Jackson Township. Both are expected to open in mid to late November. Although Restore might seem like an overnight success story, Wright says that the groundwork was laid long before opening day. “We’ve been working on this concept for well over two years, although we only opened our first store in late May,” he says. And expansion was always part of the model, adds Pritt. “This was always our plan,” she notes. “We definitely wanted to come into downtown Cleveland first, but it was always our vision to have more than one location and spread our brand and product to more people.” Of course, much of the success can be credited to the increased awareness and popularity of good-quality coldpressed juice shops, which seem to have evolved into the health-foods equivalent of the neighborhood coffee shop. Many of Restore’s customers come multiple times per week, with some even visiting multiple times per day. “I think there’s just a growing movement of people choosing healthier options that taste good; that’s contributing to our success,” explains Wright. “I also think we have a really good core of employees and a very loyal customer base of regulars who love coming in. It’s a whole bunch of different factors that come together to make something really nice.” Stay tuned for news of a possible fourth location, say the partners.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 49

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

MUSIC A REAL STRENGTH

The Alarm’s Mike Peters revisits band’s 1985 album By Matt Wardlaw WHEN MIKE PETERS WRAPS UP his current tour in October, he’ll do it in his homeland of Wales with an epic show that will find him backed by a full orchestra and two choirs. His return performance at Akron’s Musica next week will be a bit scaled down by comparison, but he promises that fans can expect a “full rock show” that will not leave them disappointed. Well known as the frontman for ’80s alternative rockers the Alarm, the Welsh singer/songwriter will be in one-man band mode when he comes to Akron for a unique performance celebrating the 30th anniversary of the band’s 1985 Strength album. “It’s quite an innovative way of playing,” Peters says during a recent phone conversation on his way to a sold-out gig in the New Jersey area. Surrounded by an expansive collection of instrumentation — including drums that he can play with his feet, and an acoustic that can go electric with a quick flick of a switch — he says he’ll alternate between three or four microphones that will be scattered across the stage, singing into each one and connecting with the audience from different angles. “It’s a little bit of something that I learned when I was the singer for Big Country for a few years when they wanted to honor their anniversary and the passing of Stuart Adamson,” he says. “I sang for the band and I said, ‘Look, there’s five us in the group now, not four, so if we spread ourselves equally across the stage, no one is going to be stood where Stuart was when he was alive and he stood center stage in Big Country.’ I was sort of left of center singing the songs, but it felt like Stuart was there in a way. It felt like his presence was allowed to be acknowledged, because no one was standing in his spotlight.” “So I feel like when I play as a oneman band, I can still play the music of the Alarm and you can close your eyes and you can almost imagine that everyone is there, as close as you can get to a reunion in a way,” he continues. “It happens in the

Photo courtesy of Hired Gun Media

Mike Peters tends to his garden with guitar in hand. spirit. And I can talk about the past without having people on the stage who weren’t part of that particular story. I think it works in the way still photographs often capture the essence of a moment rather than the film in a way. It’s a show that allows me to tell stories and put some of the history in perspective, but it also

rocks like mad as well when it gets to the end and it’s like the whole band is playing.” “It’s been quite a revelation for people who have seen the show,” says Peters, who calls it an evening of music that’s “very dynamic” and full of limitless possibilities, depending on what he’s picking up from the

vibes in the room. “I can take it anywhere — I’m in full control of the show and I can take requests, so no two shows are ever the same and the audiences are as much a part of the show as I am. It’s a great communal experience that has one foot in the past, but it’s definitely a sign of things to come and a way of looking forward.” As the group was hard at work on the Strength album in 1985, some famous friends filtered in and out of the studio, including Jimmy Page. Peters recalls with a good amount of humor that an invitation from the former Led Zeppelin guitarist derailed the sessions slightly. “Jimmy happened to be in the recording studio, Studio 2 at Marcus Studios where we recorded, and he was in the other studio mixing a live album from the Firm, with Paul Rodgers,” Peters recalls. “One day, he just popped into where we were in Studio 1; he came into the control room to introduce himself and say hi, and it was like, ‘Wow, Jimmy Page!’ Then he went into the live room and picked up some of Dave Sharp’s guitars, started playing them and we hit record straight away. So somewhere in the original master tape of Strength from 1985, there is a passage of music that features Jimmy Page playing guitar.” Peters says Page was “so personable” and appeared to be “really interested in what we were trying to do in the studio.” “He said, ‘Do you want to come up and hear the Firm album?” Peters recalls of the visit. “‘Please feel free to come up to the studio.’ So Dave Sharp, our guitarist, took him up on that almost within seconds of him leaving the room. He said, ‘I’m going up there to see what’s happening.’ At that point, we never saw Dave Sharp again for the rest of the sessions! He went up to the room and knocked on the door and a hand came out the door with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and he said, ‘If you’re coming in here, you can’t go out until you’ve drunk it.’” It’s no surprise to learn that Sharp was up for the challenge and, as a result, he disappeared for a while.

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 51

MUSIC “We didn’t see Dave for about five days and then he came back and out and he must have slept on the floor in the room with Jimmy Page and they got absolutely hammered and Dave came back looking like he’d been around the world three times and he looked like a very different person to us all. He was unable to sing the song that he’d [come up with for] the Strength album, which eventually came out on Eye of the Hurricane, a song called ‘One Step Closer to Home,’ one of my all-time favorite Alarm songs. He couldn’t do any of the vocals [for that one], so it never made it onto the [Strength] album in the end, which was a shame, because that would have added a little bit more information to the record. I blame Jimmy Page,” he says with a big laugh. Peters says that 2016 will bring a new Alarm album, a set of songs that will come on the heels of an interesting pair of projects that found the veteran singer/songwriter revisiting the band’s first two albums, Declaration and Strength, to re-record them in full, but they’re not the updated copies of the original LPs that you might expect. Instead, Peters has reimagined the material, incorporating the natural evolution that has occurred as he has performed the songs live over the past three decades. Additionally, each of the albums features a song sequence that differs from the original track order. “I think there’s something great about hearing a record again and hearing it [as an] LP and a series of songs that were meant to fit

in the aftermath of our lives being turned upside down and leaving home and traveling to America where we’d never been before and all of my senses being really challenged and stimulated in a way that I could only have dreamt about when I was writing Declaration.” Peters says the two albums are very different from each other. “I think the writing of it is only part of the journey of understanding the music and then you take it out on the road and you play some of the songs and you think, ‘Wow, this song is at the end of the album.’ I mean, ‘Spirit Of ‘76’ is a song that we didn’t really quite understand how powerful of a song that would be when we were recording it. It’s only when we took it out live and it really started to make a connection with our audience through the lyrics, not so much the power of the music and the urgency that was in our stage performance, but the connection that started to be made through the actual autobiographical telling of the story within the song. I didn’t really understand the power of a narrative story like that when I was making our first albums and it was only by taking it on the road that we kind of understood it.” Peters says that he’s excited to come back to town for the Musica gig, recalling the “fantastic” show that he played with Big Country at the same venue in 2013. It’s been a long time since he has sung songs from the Alarm catalog in this area; and for local Alarm fans, it’s a long-awaited chance to see him play a show that won’t require a road trip. The mutual love affair between Peters and his audience goes way back. “I think the first time we played Cleveland

MIKE PETERS 8 P.M. FRIDAY, SEPT. 18, MUSICA, 51 EAST MARKET ST., AKRON, 330-374-1114. TICKETS: $18, LIVEATMUSICA.COM

together,” he says. “I felt like some of the better songs on the original Strength album were tucked away on Side 2. I was making the record for both formats really, CD and LP, but I felt that there was a certain amount of narrative running through the songs that you don’t see when you’re so close to something, when you’re writing it and you’re recording it. It really is straight on top of each other, especially with Strength. There’s that classic saying that you’ve got your whole life to write your first album and months to write your second, and with Strength, that was true. It was written on tour and it was written

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

properly, we did a lunchtime radio show for WMMS, which was a [type of] gig that we weren’t used to doing and it went out live on the radio,” he recalls. “I’ve still got the bootleg of that — it’s one of the first times that we played live on the radio. We played in Cleveland with the Pretenders [on the Declaration tour in 1984] and that was special because Ohio was where Chrissie Hynde came from and it felt like a hometown gig for the Pretenders, playing in Cleveland. We had a fantastic time there.”

scene@clevescene.com t@cleveland_scene

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Order By Phone: 800.745.3000 • House of Blues Box Office magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

MUSIC GUITAR ANTI-HERO Frontman Doug Martsch talks about how a new rhythm section has invigorated Built to Spill By Jeff Niesel Photo by Steve Gere

WHEN SINGER-GUITARIST DOUG Martsch first started the indie rock band Built to Spill in 1992, he thought the group would be a studio project, delivering finely tuned recordings with a rotating line-up of musicians. That sure didn’t happen. In fact, Martsch & Co. would become a touring outfit, producing only a handful of albums over a 20-plus year run. “Yeah, that was the original idea,” admits Martsch via phone from his Idaho home. A fall tour brings the band to the Grog Shop on Sept. 16. “As a fan of David Bowie, I liked the way he did different records throughout his career. They weren’t the same thing over and over again. At the time, I thought I would be a record maker and not a touring band. I imagined being more of a studio act. Now that we’re a touring band, it doesn’t make sense to change your line-up ever. Once [bassist] Brett [Nelson] and [drummer] Scott [Plouf] were in the band, I didn’t want anyone else. I thought, ‘These guys are great. I want to grow up with these guys.’ I wanted everyone to have a stake in the band and they can contribute more easily. Just this summer, Built to Spill returned with Untethered Moon, its first studio album in six years. Despite a line-up change that involved the departure of Nelson and Plouf, it doesn’t represent a huge shift in the band’s sound. Quasi’s Sam Coomes produced the album, which the group recorded in Portland, Oregon. “He’s someone we like and trust,” says Martsch. “He’s also a fan of Built to Spill. He’s also kind of a hater. I liked that combination. He’s on our side even though he has a bad attitude about music and only really loves certain stuff. That’s how I feel about it myself. The stuff I love just kills me. He’s so enthusiastic from the get-go and encouraging. Even at this point in our career, I need that. That’s the most important thing the producer does. During this recording, I had as much confidence as ever and I think Sam helped a lot.” The album’s opening number, “All Our Songs,” features the snarling guitars and high-pitched vocals that have become the band’s signature sound. The tune is about having a deep emotional connection to music, a

This is either Built to Spill or a random group of lumberjacks

fitting theme since Martsch is such a huge music fan. “Yeah, it’s about having music and the community around music,” he says of the song. “It’s almost like a religion for some of us. When you find out that someone else loves a record that you love, all of a sudden that person makes more sense to you.” The song resulted from a jam during which Martsch sang out, “All our songs.” The lyrics came together after that. “I realized it could be a song about loving songs,” he says. “I had all these big ideas that the song would be about a trip. I sort of half used those ideas

jamming. Jason loved it so that helped. It was a song that I didn’t know what to do with. I wrote many sets of lyrics. I kind of ripped off Quasi because they had a song about Mars. I thought, ‘Going to Mars is interesting and there’s always things I could do with that.’ It’s kind of a little bit cheap to me. The sound came over time. I did a demo on acoustic guitar. Then, I put an electric guitar to it. It slowly evolved and in the studio it came together in a nice way. The crazy guitars that sound like horns, that’s an idea I did while demoing around. I improvised it at home and it sounded cool, but I didn’t know if I could recreate it at the studio.

BUILT TO SPILL, CROSSS, CLARKE AND THE HIMSELFS 8:30 P.M. WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 16, GROG SHOP, 2785 EUCLID HEIGHTS BLVD., CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, 216-321-5588. TICKETS: $22.50, GROGSHOP.GS

and it turned into a Built to Spill mess. I love Public Enemy but I wish they would give me more details and they only hinted at stuff. I wanted a story. I don’t have that in me. I’m not a storyteller. It might fall into my lap, but I can’t do it on purpose.” Another one of the album’s highlights, “On the Way,” features noisy guitar riffs that sound like blaring horns. “I think that song started out with that chord progression and melody,” says Martsch. “It was something I had for years. It had too much of a country sound or a full-on Neil Young rip-off sound to me. I played it once when [bassist] Jason [Albertini] and [drummer] Steve [Gere] and I were

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

But I got it right on the first take.” Over the years, Martsch and his bandmates have covered songs by everyone from Ozzy to Elliott Smith. So how did Martsch develop such eclectic taste? “Just being part of the music scene and being surrounded by people who love music,” he says. “That’s how I got turned on to a lot of stuff. When I was young, I was focused on punk rock and alternative rock. It wasn’t until I was around 30 that I gave reggae music any sort of chance at all. That became my favorite. And I started listening to old soul music. It doesn’t matter what genre it is. It’s about having something that speaks to you, whether that’s the quality of someone’s

voice or how things were recorded. When I was younger, I could relate to people who were making punk rock music. My experiences were so different, it was hard for me to relate to reggae music or soul music. As I got older, I realized it’s not that different. Their passion is really similar. And it just sounded good.” Often proclaimed as the last guitar hero, Martsch says the title is a bit of a misnomer. In fact, he might be more of a guitar anti-hero. “Well, you know, if you find anyone who knows how to play guitar at all, they won’t be impressed,” he says. “I’m not that good. I think what people like is that I just go for it. I was influenced by Neil Young and J. Mascis. To me, those people have something visceral about the way they play. It wasn’t that they were technically good. They know how to get something out of the guitar that has some emotion. That’s what I try to do. And also another thing is the fact that Brett Netson played guitar on a lot of the records and he really is a guitar hero. He’s as good as anyone has ever been. I think there’s a mix-up in thinking some of the shit that he does is me. A lot of the wah stuff on Perfect from Now On that sounds like Jimi Hendrix is pretty much him.” Has the new line-up been revitalizing? “Yeah, definitely,” he says. “We even started writing some new songs. I definitely feel some revitalization with what we’re doing. For sure.”

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 55

MUSIC THE FATHER OF INVENTION Zappa on Zappa to perform classic Frank Zappa album One Size Fits All in its entirety By Jeff Niesel Photo by Truefire.com

TO CELEBRATE THE 40TH anniversary of Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention’s final album, One Size Fits All, Frank Zappa’s son Dweezil and his band (who perform as Zappa on Zappa) will play the wacky album in its entirety when they perform at the Kent Stage on Sept. 22. In addition, Zappa & Co. will perform an additional 70 to 75 minutes worth of music from Frank Zappa’s vast catalog. Prior to the concert, Zappa will offer a “masterclass” during which he’ll “instruct, guide and share” insight with fans who want to learn to play guitar better. In a recent phone interview, Zappa, who has said the album is one of his favs because of its “incredible arrangements and instrumentation,” took us through the disc track-by-track. “Inca Roads” It’s a song that is a fan favorite for a number of reasons. For me, the most ingenious thing about it is that it’s one of the pivotal pieces of music in my dad’s career. It’s the foundation for what he did frequently after that which was to make a song that has composed parts but is interwoven with things that are improvised. Sometimes, they even involve hand signals. When you have the combination of written and improvised parts, it means that every time you play the song it’ll be different. Much of his music is created that way, but this song set the foundation. At that phase of his career, it’s something that became really important. When he was touring, he didn’t want to play the same thing over and over. It has an insane melody and very tricky musical passages. It’s one of the hardest songs to play especially if you want to play it 100 percent accurate. It doesn’t easily roll off the fingers. “Can’t Afford No Shoes” It’s a song that sounds least like any of his songs in his catalog. It has a really cool chord progression that keeps modulating. It’s an infectious and melodic part of the song. It’s one of those ones where if you hear it, you think it’s a more simplistic song. But it’s really complicated. [Frank Zappa] plays fretless guitar that sounds like a slide guitar. There’s never a song where you can be on cruise control.

“Sofa No.1” It’s one of the most beautiful pieces of music that sounds simple but has counterpoint and things that happen to create the arrangement. It’s just a really beautiful melody, but it does have some tricky parts to get in there because it’s in three-four sometimes so you don’t realize where the tricky parts happen. People will tap their feet to it in four and not know where they are. “Po-Jama People” It was constructed to reflect Frank’s disdain for people who were on tour playing the music but when they would get on the bus after a show, they were not very exciting individuals. They were doing crossword puzzles and wearing pajamas. This was an ode to the “po-jama people.” It’s a groovy song that has some funky parts, and Frank plays a great solo on it with a mid-rangy pig-nose tone. Trying to recapture the sound and recreate the tone has been a challenge, but we’ve come up with something that’s pretty close. “Florentine Pogen” That’s the name of a cookie. We use to have those cookies at the house. It’s kind of a praline cookie. One side is chocolate. There were versions that had fruit jelly as well, and we always hated those versions. They don’t make them in the U.S. anymore. I think you can still find them in Europe. The

Dweezil Zappa can show you how to play this thing — for a price.

of his band. That’s one thing that’s different about this tour. You have the premiere of that song on this tour. It’s a studio track where a lot of Frank’s music has this quality where you think, “Why does this

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song is one of those heavily arranged songs with so many different parts. I remember when we were first learning it a long time ago, it was hard to keep track of what part goes where. We’ve played it a lot over the years, so it’s in our wheelhouse, but it’s one of those things that can bite you if you haven’t played it for a while. “Evelyn, A Modified Dog” That particular song is being performed live by us but Frank never played it live. It was never performed by him or by any version

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

exist? How did this even happen?” This is one of those things. It’s recorded in really great detail too. I love the fact that something like this will get as much attention as any other song. “San Ber’dino” It has Johnny Guitar Watson on it kicking ass and providing classic vocal interjections. He had such an amazing voice and he’s a great guitarist and piano player too. That’s the closest thing to a roadhouse bar jam. It has some

tricky bits in there. Again, it has great harmonies and melodies. “Andy” It’s a pretty intense arrangement as well that has more Johnny Guitar Watson. It has this rhythmic interplay between the bass and drums. It has percussion elements in there that are tricky. Most people wouldn’t be able to figure out what’s going on with it. “Sofa No .2” It’s basically the same track as “Sofa No. 1” but it has German lyrics. Frank has this story of this sofa that God created. Obviously, his version of religion is different from other people’s versions of religion. There’s a whole story that’s written out in German. I don’t know why it’s in German but it is. It’s one of the least romantic sounding languages and then you put it with this beautiful melody as a joke. We sing it in German too.

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 57

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

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all the live music you should see this week

09/16

Echo & the Bunnymen: One of the few U.K. post-punk bands still kicking around, Echo and the Bunnymen made a glorious return to form last year with Meteorites, a moody, atmospheric record that sounds a lot like their subdued releases from the middle of the decade. Singer Ian McCulloch and guitarist Will Sergeant are the only remaining original members in a group that’s fleshed out the lineup with a group of capable young hired hands. When the band played House of Blues a few years back, McCulloch’s singing was solid on classic tracks such as “Bedbugs and Ballyhoo” and melodic tunes like “Bring on the Dancing Horses” and “Lips Like Sugar.” Their rendition of “The Cutter,” one of their best tunes, retained the original’s snotty post-punk spirit. Expect a similar performance at tonight’s show. (Jeff Niesel), 8 p.m., $29.50 ADV, $30 DOS. House of Blues. Joe Walsh: Drummer Joe Vitale and singer-guitarist Joe Walsh both did stints in the Kent-based band the Measles at separate points, but it would be a little while longer before the pair found themselves in a band together, meeting up in Colorado to record the debut Barnstorm album with Vitale on drums and bassist Kenny Passarelli. Released in 1972, the album marked Walsh’s first post-James Gang recordings and launched the next phase of his career. Vitale co-wrote a pair of songs with Walsh on the album and also added additional vocals, percussion and keyboards on the album. The two musicians have continued to collaborate and work on each album that Walsh has done since then. They’re back together again tonight as Walsh launches his first full solo tour in several years tonight with the first of two sold out shows at the Packard Music Hall in Warren. (Matt Wardlaw), 7:30 p.m., $59.50-$99.50. Packard Music Hall. 10 X 3 Hosted by Brent Kirby (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Jake Boland: 7 p.m., $20. Nighttown. The Browning/Evacuate the City/ Mettal Maffia/Dose/As Dark as Day: 6:30 p.m., $14. Agora Ballroom. Built to Spill/Crosss/Clarke and the Himselfs: 8:30 p.m., $22.50. Grog Shop.

The good kind of Bully will rock the Beachland Tavern this week. See: Friday.

Horse Feathers/Catherine Feeny & Chris Johnedis: 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $14 DOS. Beachland Tavern. QS Jazz/Rick Jesseph/The Empty Pockets: 6:30 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern. The Show Ponies (in the Supper Club): 7:30 p.m., $7. Music Box Supper Club. Strawberry Runner/The Heavenly Creatures/Rural Carrier/Half An Animal: 8:30 p.m., $5. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Wishbone Ash/Schwartz Brothers: 8 p.m., $22 ADV, $25 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. Yonatan Gat/Shale Satans/Ottawa: 9 p.m., $8. Happy Dog.

THUR

09/17

Chamba Music: Last year, bassist Ed Sotelo and flautist Kathryn Metz, an ethnomusicologist who works at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum, started playing Brazilian music as Bossa Novella. “Kathryn and I wanted to play Latin American music from different countries,” says Sotelo, who describes himself as a “dude whose parents are from Argentina but was born at Metro.” The band has since expanded to include percussionist Geoffrey Peterson and violinist and mandolin player Jeff Schuler. Rechristened Chamba Music, the group played a few shows last summer on the patio at Luxe and earlier this year it kicked off a residency at the Happy Dog at the Euclid Tavern. Today’s happy hour gig is part of that residency. (Niesel), 5 p.m., Free. The Euclid Tavern.

Wilco/William Tyler: It’s been years since Wilco played Cleveland proper, but the Chicago-based sextet comes to town tonight on an extensive tour in support of its new album, Star Wars, its ninth studio album and its first since 2011’s The Whole Love. The album features the kind of artsy alt-country that distinguishes its back catalog and gives guitarist Nels Cline room to roam. His jazz and rock-inspired riffs distinguish the collection of tunes that arrive in time to celebrate the band’s 20th anniversary. (Niesel), 7 p.m., $32.50$59.50. Masonic Auditorium. Marcia Ball: 8 p.m., $28 ADV, $30 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. Barb Wire Dolls: 9 p.m., $8. Now That’s Class. Best Coast/The Lovely Bad Things: 9 p.m., $20 ADV, $25 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. Diane Coffee/G.S. Schray: 9 p.m., $8. Happy Dog. Craow/Soft Target/Channel/Unikove/ DJ ADAB: 10 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class. DJ Brad Bradley Spinning LPs: 9 p.m., Free. The Euclid Tavern. Fit for Rivals: 8:30 p.m., $5. Grog Shop. Halfway to St. Patrick’s Day with the Burke School of Irish Dance/Harp City: 7 p.m. Vosh Club. Chris Hatton’s Musical Circus (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Hillbilly Idol/The Cuyahoga Valley Frackers/Carla Bianco: 6:30 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern. Jam Night with the Bad Boys of Blues: 9 p.m., Free. Brothers Lounge. Randy & Mr. Lahey of Trailer Park Boys: 8 p.m., $20-$45.

The Kent Stage. Ben Rector — The Brand New Tour/ Judah & the Lion: 8 p.m., $20 ADV, $20 DOS. House of Blues. Suzzy Roche and Lucy Wainwright Roche/Charlie Mosbrook: 8 p.m., $17 ADV, $20 DOS. Beachland Tavern.

FRI

09/18

Nellie McKay: Versatile singersongwriter Nellie McKay has done it all. She’s performed on Broadway and played on all the biggest latenight talk shows. She’s written music for TV shows and films, and one of her albums even became a ballet. On her latest studio effort, My Weekly Reader, she plays a little bit of everything, including psychedelic rock (“Bold Marauder”) and breezy pop (“Quicksilver Girl”), and sounds completely natural as she shifts from one musical style to the next. She regularly performs at Nighttown so expect to see a good show. (Niesel), 8:30 p.m., $25. Nighttown. Ed Sheeran/Christina Perri: Because of an ability to command a stage without any accompaniment, you can often tell when a musician got his or her start performing on street corners and open mics. Such is the case with Brit singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran. The guy played plenty of small venues before up-scaling to bigger rooms in late 2012 and early 2013 and then playing arenas last year with country superstar Taylor Swift. His latest, x, is one of the year’s most satisfying pop releases and shows just how much he’s

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 59

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

evolved as a songwriter. (Niesel), 7:30 p.m., $39.50-$75. Blossom. The Breakfast Club: 9:30 p.m., $5. Brothers Lounge. Spyro Gyra: A jazz fusion act that arguably peaked creatively in the ‘80s, the Buffalo-based Spyro Gyra has somehow managed to put out 30 albums over the course of a career that dates back to 1974. Early on, the group became a regional act and Cleveland was one of the first cities outside of Buffalo to embrace the band. The group recorded its most recent album, 2013’s The Rhinebeck Sessions, in a three-day session in Rhinebeck, New York. The opening track, “Special Delivery,” incorporates Latin rhythms while retaining the band’s signature sound. (Niesel), 8 p.m., $30. The Kent Stage. Joe Walsh: 7:30 p.m., $59.50-$99.50. Packard Music Hall. Bully/Heat/Fake Limbs: 8:30 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Cabinet/David Mayfield: 9 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. DJ Joe Yachanin: 6 p.m., Free. Happy Dog. Innatek Sessions/Joe Nice/Emplate/ Rasper/Man Amen/Thunder St. Clair: 9 p.m., $5. B-Side Liquor Lounge & Arcade. Jarvi/Sold/Saint/Kiernan LaVeaux: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class. Kiss Me Deadly/The Old Adage: 9 p.m., $5. The Euclid Tavern. Dennis Lewin: 10:30 p.m., free. Nighttown. Joyce Manor/Cheap Girls/Tracks: 9 p.m., $15. Grog Shop. Mike Peters of the Alarm: 8 p.m., $18. Musica. Scarlet and the Harlots: 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Tom Shaper & Friends/The Del Rios/ George Foley & Friends: 5:30 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern. Sounds of Jazz Featuring Nancy Redd: 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Swamps of Jersey (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $7. Music Box Supper Club. Helen Welch: 8 p.m. Akron Civic Theatre.

SAT

09/19

Chris Robinson Brotherhood: There’s something about the Chris Robinson Brotherhood’s sound that makes it seem like it should be easy to describe: some sort of classic

rock throwback with a pinch of that Robinson aesthetic, grizzled beard and all. The sound is the sort of groove-based rock that fits in well with almost any situation (chillin’ on the porch, driving around, spending at night at the Beachland, etc.). “Badlands Here We Come” is among the band’s finest examples of this hazy notion I’m trying to get at. It’s just good music, and if your toes aren’t tapping out the beat, then that’s more your fault than anything. (Sandy), 8:30 p.m., $19 ADV, $22 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. 10 Years/Audience of Rain: 9 p.m., $15. Musica. Jason Aldean/Cole Swindell/Tyler Farr/Dee Jay Silver: $31.50$71.50. Blossom. Bossa Nova Night with Luca Mundaca (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $7. Music Box Supper Club. Mary Bridget Davies: 8:30 p.m. Akron Civic Theatre. Ace Frehley: 8 p.m., $35-$60. Hard Rock Rocksino. Rhiannon Giddens: 8 p.m., $25-$35. The Kent Stage. Brent Kirby & His Luck: 9:30 p.m., $5. Brothers Lounge. Marmozets/Turbowolf/Twin Atomic: 8:30 p.m., $10. Grog Shop. Gay Marshall in Piaf: Queen of Heart: 8:30 p.m., $25. Nighttown. OBN IIIs/Mr. California/Brain Wave: 9 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. Now That’s Class. Outdated View/Bakers Basement: 9 p.m., $5. The Euclid Tavern. Slingshot Dakota/Born Without Bones/Dead Leaves/Two Hand Fools/I Love You. I Know. (in the Locker Room): 7:30 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Surfer Rex: 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Bill Toms Band/Take This Hammer: 8 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern. Travelin’ Johnsons (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Tropical Cleveland Noche Caliente: 9:30 p.m., $10. Music Box Supper Club. Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free. Nighttown.

SUN

09/20

Chris Robinson Brotherhood: 8:30 p.m., $19 ADV, $22 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. 29th Anniversary Party: 3 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern. The Bluegrass Sweethearts: David and Valerie Mayfield (in the Supper Club): 7 p.m., $7. Music Box. Constraint/Sickmark/Grin and Bear It/Short Order/Shit Blimp: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class. The Mynabirds/Bad Bad Habits/By

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LIVEWIRE Light We Loom: 8:30 p.m., $10. Beachland Tavern. Mike Petrone (in the Wine Bar): 5:30 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Skinny Lister/Beans on Toast/House of Wills: 8:30 p.m., $10. Grog Shop. Bria Skonberg: 7 p.m., $20. Nighttown. UB40 Featuring Ali Campbell, Astro and Mickey Virtue: 8:30 p.m., $25. Hard Rock Rocksino.

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

MON

09/21

Lucinda Williams/Buick 6: Best known for 1998’s Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, an album that still stands as her crowning achievement, singer-songwriter Lucinda Williams is a terrific songwriter whose career is distinguished by just a few releases. She might take years to record an album, but the wait is always worth it. Her latest release, Down Where the Spirit Meets the Bone, is the first to be released on her newly formed label Highway 20 Records. It starts with the dreary folk-blues number “Compassion” but the tempo quickly picks up. “West Memphis” is a grunge-y country rock number that shows off her distinctive sneer. It’s a terrific effort and will undoubtedly make up the bulk of tonight’s set. (Niesel), 8 p.m., $65 ADV/$75 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. Eagles of Death Metal: Less a joke band than an ever-evolving musical collective, Eagles of Death Metal has always been sort of an anomaly on the rock circuit. The band’s two permanent members are Josh Homme (of Queens of the Stone Age renown) and Jesse Hughes, though Homme rarely goes on tour with the band. Dozens of musicians have performed as part of the live show (including Dave Grohl, Jack Black and Taylor Hawkins), making the tour something closer to a roving musical-comedy troupe with really great rock ‘n’ roll chops. Homme once described their sound as “bluegrass slide guitar mixed with stripper drum beats and Canned Heat vocals.” (Eric Sandy), 8:30 p.m., $26 ADV, $30 DOS. Grog Shop. Seth Adam/Matt Moore: 8:30 p.m. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Black Uhuru/Jah Messengers: 8:30 p.m., $20 ADV, $23 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. Godflesh/Prurient: 8 p.m., $23 ADV, $25 DOS. House of Blues.

Steev Inglish/Kenneth Moody-Arndt/ Crystal City: 6:30 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern. Kismet Featuring Digital/Victor Jungle/Riddims Greene/Sheepdog/ Damian Lauderbach: 9:30 p.m., $10 ADV, $13 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Skatch Anderssen Orchestra: 8 p.m., $7. Brothers Lounge. Unknown to God/Hysteria: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class. Velvet Voyage (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

TUE

09/22

Godspeed You! Black Emperor/ Xylouris White: This avant-garde Montreal collective is known for dynamic live shows -- experiences that stretch the universes of sound found on their studio recordings. This year, the band released Asunder, Sweet and Other Distress, another four-song album that falls neatly into their canon. Like past records, this one swirls itself into classical movements, droning space chords, raucous percussion and much more. Opener “Peasantry or ‘Light! Inside of Light!’” is a multifaceted march through time, with each section growing bolder than the last. The two middle tracks are ambient trips through weird and disorienting sounds (much like the shorter tracks on the band’s previous albums), and closer “Piss Crowns are Trebled” revives the sweeping energy from the album’s first 10 minutes. Live and in-person, however the setlist shakes out, this should be a real doozy. (Sandy), 8:30 p.m., $25 ADV, $28 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. 7 Minutes in Heaven/ BoyMeetsWorld/One Days Notice/ Home for Fall/An Ongoing Story (in the Locker Room): 7 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Cannibal Ox/Liam Tracy/Rhyme x Reason/Matthewmaticus: 8:30 p.m., $12 ADV, $14 DOS. Grog Shop. Ese: 9 p.m., Free. Now That’s Class. Godsmack/Breaking Benjamin: 7:30 p.m., $45-$55. Jacobs Pavilion. Open Mic Night with Will Cheshier: 8 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern. St. Paul and the Broken Bones/Great Peacock: 8 p.m., $20 ADV, $23 DOS. House of Blues. Swingtime Big Band: 7:30 p.m., $7. Vosh Club. Zappa Plays Zappa: 8 p.m., $28-$66. The Kent Stage

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CONTACT timewarpbar@gmail.com IF INTERESTED. SLOTS FILLING UP FAST!! magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 63

BAND OF THE WEEK

Photo courtesy of Kiss Me Deadly

KISS ME DEADLY By Jeff Niesel MEET THE BAND: Jen Poland (vocals, guitar, mandolin, glockenspiel, vocals, banjo), Evan Lieberman (bass), Madelyn Hayes (vocals, drums)

videos ever since. In all, the group has filmed five more videos. The band also makes videos of live performances. “We’re filmmakers and musicians and teachers,” says Poland.

DOCTOR’S ORDERS: Kiss Me Deadly started in 2008 as the Poland Invasion. In 2012, they added Madelyn Hayes on drums and vocals, and “the whole thing changed.” “That was the turning point,” Evan Lieberman says. “Somehow, the chemistry became right. It’s magical in a way.” Still, members soon decided a name change was in order. “The problem with the Poland Invasion was that everyone kept mistaking us for neo-Nazis, no matter how many Jewish people were in the group,” says Lieberman, who has a Ph.D. and teaches at Cleveland State University. “People were viscerally repulsed by the name — not that many people but enough that it was kind of a drag. [The 1955 classic] Kiss Me Deadly had been one my favorite movies and I always wanted a band with that name. I pitched it to Jen and Madelyn and everyone really liked it, even though there’s a band called Kiss Me Deadly from Canada. We thought, ‘What the hell? Let’s go for it.’”

WHY YOU SHOULD HEAR THEM: Recorded locally with producer Chris Keffer at Magnetic Sound studios, the band’s latest album, What You Do in the Dark, features vintage sounds. Poland says the studio experience was “very collaborative.” “It depends on when I’m writing the songs,” says Poland, who adds that the vinyl version of the album, which was pressed locally at Gotta Groove Records, has just come out. The album’s title track features seductive vocals and a retro-sounding guitar riff that sounds like it was lifted from a ’60s garage rock tune. “I guess we do sound retro,” says Poland. “I’ve been told we sound like ’60s, but I didn’t grow up on that so I don’t know how we ended up sounding like that.”

CAUGHT ON FILM: Lieberman directed the band’s first music video for the tune “Ice House” and has been making the band’s

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

WHERE YOU CAN HEAR THEM: reverbnation/jenpoland WHERE YOU CAN SEE THEM: Kiss Me Deadly performs with the Old Adage at 9 p.m. on Friday, Sept. 18, at the Euclid Tavern.

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015 65

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C-NOTES local music news

Thursday September 17 Carla Bianco 6:30 (sing/ songwriter) The Cuyahoga Valley Frackers 8:00 (Americana) Hillbilly Idol 10:00 (alt. country, rockabilly)

Friday September 18 George Foley & Friends 5:30 (jazz) The Del Rios 8:00 (rock) Tom Shaper & Friends 10:00 (rhythm & blues, roots)

Saturday September 19 The National Beat Poetry FestivalBeat Street Cleveland 3:00 (poetry) Take This Hammer 8:00 (folk) Bill Toms Band 10:00 (rhythm & blues, rock)

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BARKING SPIDER 29th ANNIVERSARY Potluck • BBQ • Live Music Hot Jazz Seven 3:00 (jazz Blue Lunch 6:00 (blues/swing) Hymn 4 Her 9:00 (rock/country) 11310 JUNIPER RD., CLEVELAND • 216.421.2863

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

SCENE

ONE OF THE ONLY MUSIC AWARDS that covers the entire state of Ohio, the Ohio Hip-hip Awards has been a big success since launching 10 years ago. For this year’s installment, it’s expanded. Organizers have teamed up with Tri-C to put on a bigger and better event. It launches at 3 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 16, with a panel discussion at Tri-C Metro’s Main Stage. Dr. Valerie Brown and Dr. Simona Epuran will lead a discussion with artists, industry professionals and educators. At 9 that night, DJ Chicago & DJ Jack Da Rippa headline Mic Check, a showcase hosted by Nina Nicole. Tickets to the event cost $10. On Thursday, Sept. 17, a Homecoming Concert featuring Twista, Ray Jr, Big Mucci and Preme Dibiasi takes place at noon at the Tri-C Metro Campus Courtyard. Before the concert there will be an open mic cypher. Immediately after the concert, an MC and producer battle will take place at 3 p.m. at the Tri-C Metro Campus Auditorium. A series of afternoon workshops takes place from 1 to 4 p.m. on Friday, Sept. 18, at various classrooms on the Tri-C Metro campus. Classes include publishing, producing, engineering, DJing, copyrights/trademarks, team building, media/broadcasting, marketing and songwriting. From 6 to 11 that night, an industry mixer takes place at the creative spaces of the Bulkley House Mansion. The Learn 2 Earn Music Conference is scheduled for noon to 5 p.m. on Saturday, Sept. 19, at the Tri-C Metro campus theater, and an industry showcase takes place from 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. that night at the Agora Ballroom. The actual awards are slated for 6 p.m. on Sunday, Sept. 20, at the Masonic Auditorium. A red carpet event that commences at 4 p.m. precedes the event. Acts slated to perform include Dame B, Crazy 8 The Great, J Jig Cicero, Madame Firm, Uptown Rome, Yen Fam and Vice Souletric. For more information on the festivities, go to ohiohiphopawards. com.

Twista headlines a homecoming concert that’s part of the annual Ohio Hip-hop Awards.

OHIO ONLY An Ohio music collective that formed in 2004 in Athens, Aquabear Legion has put out a number of compilations over its decade-long existence. Now the group has released a double LP featuring bands from all over the state. Acts from Cleveland, Columbus, Athens, Cincinnati, Dayton, and Yellow Springs have all contributed. In all, 24 bands are represented. The Cleveland contingent includes the acts Herzog, Murderedman and Kid Tested. The Herzog tune “Oh No” careens like a Weezer tune and has a great vibe while the Murdered Man song, “Love Under Ground,” features distorted vocals and has a real ominous feel to it. Kit Tested’s jittery contribution, “#1 Hit,” recalls ’90s-era Guided by Voices. The songs mesh well with the other tracks on the disc. The album was pressed at Musicol in Columbus, and the jacket was printed locally at Gotta Groove Records.

ANOTHER NEW NIGHTCLUB OPENS Local indie rockers the Lighthouse and the Whaler are slated to perform at Punch Bowl Social (1086 West 11th St.), a new nightclub and entertainment venue on the East Bank of the Flats, as part of a grand opening celebration that takes place from 7 to 9 p.m. on Saturday. Proceeds go toward the Salvation Army. Tickets are $10 and can be purchased at the door. Go to punchbowlsocial.com for more info.

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magazine | clevescene.com | September 16 - 22, 2015

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SAVAGE LOVE MIND BLOWN By Dan Savage

Dear Dan, My son, who is almost 30, was married four years ago. He just shared with us that for the last three years, he and his wife have been practicing polyamory. They are committed to their relationship but have each had relationships with both men and women. We are trying to get our heads around this, as we come from a more traditional background (we’ve been married 40 years in a loving and respectful relationship), and we find ourselves feeling very sad. We are accepting and nonjudgmental, just trying to understand how he came to this decision. He feels that to make love “finite,” to love only one person, is “not being true,” and that their kind of relationship prevents dishonesty and is based on truth. He shared that his wife was the first one to broach this idea—and after many deep conversations, he eventually overcame his jealousy and is embracing this practice. They do not have children or plan to have children. I asked my son if he’s happy, and he says he is. — Sad Mama If your son says he’s happy, SM, you should believe him and be happy for him. It’s unfortunate that your son framed the news about his choices and his marriage in what sounds like a clumsy critique of your choices and your marriage. (If that’s what he did, SM. I’ve only got your characterization of his comments to go on, and it has been my experience that monogamous folks sometimes hear critiques of their choices when we nonmonogamous folks talk about our own choices.) There’s nothing necessarily “finite,” untruthful, limiting, or dishonest about monogamy. If that’s what two people want, SM, and it makes those two people happy, that’s great. Monogamy is what you and your husband wanted, it’s what made you and your husband happy, and it worked for your marriage. You could see your son’s choice to be nonmonogamous as a rejection of everything you modeled for him, or you could see his choice as modeled on the fundamental bedrock stuff—for lack of a better word—that informed the choice you made. Your son and his wife are doing what they want, they’re doing what makes them happy, and they’re doing what works for their marriage. They’re not doing monogamy (or kids), but they’re doing what’s right for them and what works for them—just like his mom and dad did. There are lots of people out there in happy, fulfilling open/poly relationships, SM, and lots of people out there in happy, fulfilling monogamous relationships. (And there are lots of miserable people in both kinds of relationships.) There are also lots of people in

happy, fulfilling monogamous relationships they will one day choose to open, and lots of people in happy, fulfilling nonmonogamous relationships they will one day choose to close. It’s happiness, consent, and mutual respect that matters, not whether a relationship is monogamous or nonmonogamous. If your son is happy, SM, you should be happy for him. But if he states—or clumsily implies—that you and his dad couldn’t be happy because you’re not doing the same thing he and his wife are doing, you tell him from nonmonogamous me that he’s full of nonmonogamous shit.

Dear Dan, Many years ago, what was for me a bizarre sexual incident happened, and while I’ve largely laughed it off, the incident has always puzzled me. For the record, I’m a straight man in a good, loving marriage with no sexual issues to report. I was off on a golf weekend with a bunch of über-hetero buddies. We stayed in a condo that didn’t have enough beds, so I ended up sharing a bed with an ex-marine. In the middle of the night, I thought my girlfriend was waking me up with a blowjob, and a damn fine one at that. However, as I gradually became awake, I realized the mouth on my penis wasn’t my girlfriend’s. I called this guy’s name, and—this is the interesting part—he sprang up suddenly, like I just woke him up. I was also a little afraid, because he was a big guy who could have easily pummeled me to death out of embarrassment. But he jumped out of bed, went into the bathroom, and gargled before coming back into bed. Neither of us said a word afterward about what happened. (And frankly, I was a little offended by the gargling.) So the question is: Can you fellate in your sleep? Can you sleep-blow and still be a straight guy? — Blown Latently One Wild Night Sexsomnia is a real thing—sleepwalking plus sex—but it’s exceedingly rare. Closeted guys are a lot more common, BLOWN, and guys who seem über-hetero are often more successfully closeted than your lighter-inthe-loafer guys. Three other details lead me to believe this was a crime/blowjob of opportunity: It’s typically pretty difficult to wake a sleepwalker/sleep-blower (it takes more than calling out a name), the skills on display during the incident (it takes practice to give a “damn fine” blowjob), and his actions after he woke up with your dick in his mouth (rushing to the bathroom to gargle) smack of overcompensation.

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